Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - The Nixalina x Nicola Dichotomy (I did it on Purpose)

Episode Date: June 23, 2025

Allow me to finally break down all the 'Nixalina' reputation taboos.  With love, Nixalina. ​For more awesome content to read including beauty, fashion or dating & love features, please do head over to my digital platform www.nixalina.com. Don't be shy, come say hai! Head over to my Instagram or Tiktok @nixalina to slide into my DMs.

This podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships, sex and love. It may not be suitable for younger listeners. This is the Can't Keep My Mouth Shut podcast and I am Nick Salina. Hello, it's Nick Salina and welcome back to Can't Keep My Mouth Shut. Today's episode is one that I've been thinking of doing for a while. I just didn't know how to put it into words. And then I was talking to my recent dude and it come to my mind and I was like, actually, this is a fucking great idea. So it is called the Nick Salina versus Nicola dichotomy.

I did it on purpose. It's going to be a huge tea spilling episode. I will tea spill because I don't have a choice, but it's glorious. So strap yourselves in. Allow me to first explain the origins of Nick Salina. I was 10. My best mate at the time, her dad used to call her Tit Salina Bum Squirt, right? As a joke. I don't know why. Her name was nothing like it. And then because I'm called Nicola, one day, somehow, it became Nick Salina Bum Squirt, Right? Bum Squirt. Stop. No diarrhea was had in the making of this nickname. So, Nick Salina Bum Squirt kind of stuck. And then, obviously, by like 13, I dropped Bum Squirt because I was having none of that. But Nick Salina stuck. Okay? And as I grew up, it just,

it became my name to the point even my mom will sign my birthday cards as nicks like no no one knows nicola anymore my nickname became my real name and come 23 i set up sex in london City as Nick Salina, as the rider, right? And I had no idea what a fucking power move as marketing and branding that was. It was pure accident. As half of my fucking amazing career milestones are, I just do it by accident. And in hindsight, I'm like, that was fucking great. But because it was Nick Salina was my name. I didn't think of anything else. But then there's only one Nick Salina on the whole fucking planet, right? So when I do press, when I write, when I create, when I create content, it's all me. You Google Nick Salina, it's just me, right? There's no

chance of Googling someone else's name or someone sounding similar. And for marketing, my God, Like, what a fucking win. So I have considered over the years actually legally changing my name to Nick Selina Watson. It was on the cards for a while. And something stopped me. And I'm so glad it did. Something inside stopped me. Now, before I move on to discuss this in depth, let's explain the word dichotomy for those who don't know. It's a division or contrast between two things that are represented as being opposed or entirely different. Very simple examples, war and peace, love and hate. Okay, there's your dichotomy. You can't have peace and war and you can't have love and hate, right? So you can't have Nick, Selena and Nicola.

and yet you can okay we'll move on so nick selena right why is it a dichotomy between nick selena and nicola because nick selena the reputation she has online in the social media sphere whatever is so fucking opposite of the truth even in the last two months i found oh people have said she's evil. She's batshit crazy. I mean, I'm definitely not normal. I'll give you that one, my darlings. She's a whore. She's the sluttiest girl on the island. She uses men. She plays games. She plays with men. She's a master manipulator over everything with the penis. and of course she's a narcissist. Just look what she posts. Look what she talks about. All she talks about is sex. Okay, sweetie. The reality is the opposite. And I have fought

this narrative for years and I just stopped fighting. So I remember I was dating a guy, fuck me like four years ago no sorry I say I was dating I didn't even meet the man he tried to date me and then he was like oh I need to tell you something this girl I know a friend of mine said you're the slut of Singapore you're the slut of Singapore what I went bro I haven't had sex in eight months. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Oh, and I'm just telling you what she said. Also, I don't even know the girl. What? And then I was like, nah, I'm good, bro. Ciao. Didn't meet him. But what happens is, so, Nick Selena has this reputation because she's a powerhouse. She posts lingerie photos. She does, I've done

boudoir photo shoot she i'm like nick salinas talk about her third person so we bring it back to nicola she's done boudoir photo shoots like god since she was 21 she is very vocal and very sexual and very overtly sexual she claims it as part of her feminine energy she normalizes talking about sex and dating and love and she normalizes um kinks fetishes bedroom antics and for whatever reason people can't dissociate from my content versus the woman behind it. So when people say I'm the slut of Singapore, I've fucked the whole island, all that jazz, allow me to just, and I don't have to do this, ladies and gentlemen, I don't have to tell you the truth, but for this episode, I'm gonna, allow me to tell you exactly the reality of the situation. When I moved here,

I was in a relationship. He was in the UK. I was here. Two and a half years later, he moves over, right? I was faithful and loyal the whole time. Loved that man, right? Two years on, we split up. So what? For the first four years, four and a half years of Singapore, I was in a relationship and I was faithful, okay? When we split up, I was a mess. He was not. He was not a nice person. we'll leave that there. So I spent six months not having sex. I went on two dates. One of them tried to have sex with me and I ran out of his house. And I couldn't, I was too loyal. When I love someone, I'm physically loyal and it takes me months, months to consider letting someone else touched my body again. So six months I was single and I had no sex. I was busy being fucking

heartbroken. Funny that. And then swoops in the fiance. So I was with him for a year. Yep. Engaged. We all know that story. Boring, boring. And then after him, I had a few dates and I did say sleep with like three or four guys in that following year and then I had my barley boy for four months so I was loyal to him obviously wasn't even sleeping with anyone in Singapore because I was with the barley boy barley boy and I finished say June I met I went with no one I went I'm fucking done and then I met my local boyfriend in October was with him until April last year last year okay April last year and then I couldn't go anywhere near anyone until F1 which was the end of September and that was my Nashville the guy who brought me back to life I still love you Trace

um so take last year for example it's just one example i slept with two men the whole fucking year one was my boyfriend who i was living with and then april may june july august september end of it yeah seven eight months later i managed to sleep with someone else that was it and then October, November, December no one nobody this year yeah I know you're asking you're welcome I'm still continued to tea spill this year two guys two guys loosely three in total two guys not really they were like whatever and and I derailed a little bit in January because I was like fuck being sad fuck being heartbroken fuck letting someone else

damage me again so I went a little mini durell with two guys um both local you're welcome and then there was one other guy and that's it and it's June where where am I the slut of Singapore in that fucking narrative in fact I wish I was I would probably have more fun I wish I was a narcissist I would definitely be hurt less genuinely me and my therapist so many times we talk and like I say to I say to her like people say I'm a narcissist and she's like you're the exact opposite which is why we're in fucking therapy you're a people pleaser you have grown up in a household where you felt you had to earn love where you weren't good enough where you had to, yeah, I do not want to go down that route. But yeah, I attract narcissistic men

because I'm such a people-pleasing empath, right? So when people throw the word narcissist at me, I'm like, you've got no fucking clue what you're talking about. If someone's an attractive person, if someone has confidence, if someone has an online presence, that does not make them a narcissist. You've got to stop. If all men fancy me, oh, she's a narcissist. No, I just got blessed with genetics. I have a fucking huge ass. It's from my mother. I have big brown eyes from my mother. I've got an hourglass figure. That so happens to be in fashion right now before it was stick thin in the 1990s and I was out of fashion. Do you know what I mean? Like, that doesn't make you a narcissist so let's move on then to the reality of Nicola which is why I did this dichotomy

on purpose because Nicola as I've just explained my whole relationship fucking history she's super vulnerable she's a huge empath she falls madly in love she trusts everyone from the get-go because I don't like Nicola doesn't lie I don't let's talk about Nicola as me now yep I don't lie I don't cheat I don't fucking lie I am loyal to a fault I'm too honest I'm too open from the get-go I'm actually quite naive especially when it comes to men and like I live for nature for animals and I hurt so deep I'm such an empath I can't watch the news because it hurts if I see something painful happening to animals to people to children it sticks with me all fucking day I had to stop reading the newspaper in London in when I was 24 when I opened up the metro and there was this

double page spread of all these sharks and all their fins cut off of fin soup and the sharks were just thrown back in the water still alive unable to swim oh I can't I'm gonna get upset about it it's awful and I cried on that train and I closed the newspaper and I said never again because I can't do anything about it I'd rather live in ignorance of how shit the world is because if I don't, it kills me and it sticks with me. I can't turn it off. And my only men that know me and my best friends know how emotional I am. Too emotional, some might say. Too fucking emotional. I'm like, yeah, I wish I could turn it off. And I'm a hypersensitive. So I read people's energies. I read the room. I read the energy.

I can feel changes and switches and moods. I would say to people, like, you're all right. And they'll just be in a social setting. They're like, what? And this will be girls as well. I'm like, you're not all right, are you? And I remember she was like, how did you know that? I could just feel it.

I can feel your energy. You're not all right. What's going on? No, it's just how I am. It's fucking annoying. It's a burden, right, if anything. But what I love, and let's get to the crux of this dichotomy, what I love is Nick Salina protects Nicola. You only get into my inner circle and you only get

to that soft, vulnerable, loving, caring person if you dare to break down all the barriers of the external, if you dare to look past this reputation that I have. And I love it because those people are my people. They deserve my love. They deserve my loyalty. They deserve everything I give and more. And I give everything. And only my partners will know this. Only my partners. But also friendships. This goes way beyond my sexual partners. This is how I feel about my girls. My tight as fuck tiny group of women, I'd die for them. I'd throw myself into a bus if it meant saving their lives. And they know this. But you don't get access to that willy-nilly, okay? I love the word that I used. I haven't said willy in ages. Willy-nilly.

Imagine calling them willies. What a time. Okay, digressed. But I love that Nick Salina protects the real me and that dichotomy works in my favor and when i hear these stories she's a fucking narcissist she's evil she's the sluttiest girl on the island it doesn't touch the sides i'm like okay babe oh she was so awful to all of her exes no no you got the narrative twisted they projected They were, in fact, manipulative, lying, cheating pieces of shit. And rather, they own their stuff. The kind of toxic man that they are is they always play the victim and blame the person was actually abused. It's a tell as old as time.

Get some education, for God's sake, and stop speculating about shit you see online because it's bollocks. But I love it. It don't touch the sides. it used to early 20s nick selena yeah god it used to bother me because i'm like but people don't know me why why are they saying these things they don't know me how can you say i'm a slut of singapore as example when you don't know when i last fucking had sex which was fy a long fucking time ago i swear my vagina started closing up i had cobwebs pigeons were nesting down there Do you know what I mean? That's how much I didn't have sex. And yet there's women out there,

probably more slutty, also judgment free, my angel. You fucking go get that dick. Love that for you. But there's women out there who have a lovely reputation, probably literally more slutty, but because of my online persona, because I dare, I dare to break societal boundaries down. I dare to speak out about things no one wants to talk about. I dare to be so open about sex. And I'm sorry, dudes and dolls, but sex is a huge part of whether your relationship lasts or dies. It really is. When that sex fizzles out, or one of you ain't getting their needs met,

or one of you stops bothering, or one of you feels frustrated because the libido isn't being matched, your relationship is going to die. and that's fact it's just human behavior so yeah did I digress again let's bring it home let's bring it fucking home the point I'm making is if you all out there having these opinions of me I did it on purpose because I'm a very very intelligent woman it's fucking annoying but I am and me saying I'm an intelligent woman me saying I'm an attractive woman isn't me being a narcissist. It's me being honest. I have a very high sense of self. Doesn't make me a narcissist. I love talking about sex. Doesn't make me a slut.

Bat shit crazy? Yeah, probably. But I'm a creative. And I always say this. My insult would be if you called me normal. If you called me average. If you called me boring. That insults me you call me crazy I'm like yeah because I am I love who I am I love the woman I've become and all of that big ass emotions and personality is how I became so successful because I built a brand from scratch and I did it in my spare time as well as holding down a full-time editor role Do you know what I mean? So these insults don't, they just don't, they don't stick. And it makes me realize as well who is in my corner and who isn't. And if you as a man break through the Nixalina external barrier and you get into Nicola, you know what you found.

you know how good it is and you know it's just yours nobody knows what we have at home and that makes it so much more precious and private and you know like I had my ex said this to me he's like you are so opposite of what I thought you were I thought you were high maintenance um like money orientated I thought and this is all online again the facade or whatever not that I did it on purpose but apparently that's how I come across I thought you're high maintenance and that he's like but you're so soft inside you are so soft and vulnerable I said I know I know so yeah thanks for listening to this one I do have to run now but I wanted to clear a few things up and that should you believe the facade should you believe Nick Salina is x y and z just know that I did it

on purpose it helps me cultivate the best decent people in my life so by you thinking all of that about nick selena it gives nicola the space to curate the most incredible friendships to find relationships that are healthy and stable and glorious and to find men that aren't just after a fucking podcast episode after them or a quick fuck they're actually interested in growing with nicola and being you know together okay i'm gonna love you and leave you all i don't think you guys need to dm me on this one because this is more just tea spilling about myself but if you have any comments you are of course always welcome to dm me at nixalina n-i-x-a-l-i-n-a and with that i will see you all next week

thanks for listening to the can't keep my mouth shut podcast produced and hosted by me nick selena i'm recorded in the splice car studios in singapore i'm available to listen to on spotify apple podcasts google and all major podcast listening apps do subscribe to enjoy a new episode every Monday evening. Please do give me a five-star review. It helps other people also find my podcast. For more content and features to read, you can check out my website, nixalina.com. That's nixalina.com. I'm also on social media. Simply search at Nixalina, N-I-X-A-L-I-N-A to find me. Don't be shy. Come say hi. you