Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - Unapologetically Sexual - Celebrating Women's Bodies and Female Sexuality

Episode Date: June 13, 2022

I'm here for it. For all of it.  I want you all here for all of it too. 

This podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships, sex and love. It may not be suitable for younger listeners. This is the Sex in Singapore City podcast, and I am Nick Salina. Hi, it's Nick Salina. Welcome back to another episode of my podcast. How are you all doing today? I hope you had an awesome weekend. I hope you got super fun things booked in for the rest of the week. And thank you for tuning in to me. This episode is a request from a girl on Instagram. She basically wrote to me and said, can you do a podcast about celebration

of women's bodies, about being sexy and being sexual, basically, and not being apologetic for it. So as promised, this is for you. And I've called it unapologetically sexual, celebrating women's bodies and female sexuality. So what I've come to realize is I kind of am and I don't want to sound like an arrogant shit, not an icon, not a beacon. I'm like a representation of a woman who is empowered by her own sex. Is that fair to say? I'm very, and always have been, confident with my body, but also sex, my sexuality, my want and need to have sex. I'm just very open about it. That's hence sex in London City and sex in Singapore City, right? But I thought everyone was kind of like me in that way. And then to understand that people aren't, it's a very strange thought process

because it's how I've always been. Not because I've been brought up in a liberal household, quite the opposite. Like my mother does not talk about anything like this at all. So I kind of broke the mold. And breaking the mold along the way with such things about your body and your sexuality, you raise eyebrows. You raise fucking eyebrows. So why do I want to be unapologetically sexual? I don't want to be. I just am. I don't feel restricted on any level to cover my body up or to not want sex, to not feel sexy, like, let's go into my photo shoots, right? Oh, I've done lingerie photo shoots and boudoir shots for years and years and years, as long as I can remember. And the first lingerie shot I ever did was like, very scary and intimidating, but also

very empowering and I remember seeing the photos and being like oh my god that's me is that me fuck I look incredible I'm and I was so proud and I wanted to post them and I wanted to show them off these lingerie photos um of course you know get some judgment and I would be labeled as like a slut or whore or attention seeker um ironically I'm actually like the opposite of all of those like um yeah sure I love the attention but I don't do it for the attention I do it for myself and um I don't understand why having photos in lingerie means you're whore or you have lots of sex I can be sexy and I can be confident and I can love my body without spreading my legs for every man I see do you get what I'm saying like why is that a combo oh well

she's got photos of her with her ass out or in this lingerie shoe obviously she fucks around of it does she does she do you know that I don't see why there's a stipulation and a stigma attached to a woman who is so proud of herself that she wants to explore that and talk about it and show it off. Why that then relates to her having loads of sex with men. Also, side point, just say I did have loads of sex with loads of men. Why does that, why does that care? I don't care. Do you care? Is that degrading? What, I'm a single woman. I want to have sex with guys. Is there a problem in that you know like let's even go down that avenue for a second here why is there even stigma attached to that I swear guys get to fuck around so much more and no one thinks blinks an eyelid

if a woman wants to have you know flings and one night stands and date multiple people at the same time, she's labeled as a slut and a whore. Like, oh, really? Anyway, one of my recent lingerie photo shoots I did was with a guy called Drew Perspectives. It's www.drewperspectives.com or go over to my Instagram at Nixalina, N-I-X-A-L-I-N-A, and you'll see his photos, right um there's a couple of black and white ones of me um some very like beautiful muted tones so Drew reached out and asked to do a boudoir photo shoot together I had not been in the studio for a year and a half um and I was just going through a very horrible breakup right with um a partner who sadly cheated on me and I I felt like super low about myself so the shoot

itself, I actually pushed back because I wasn't okay doing it. I didn't feel attractive. I didn't feel good. I felt sad and I felt insecure. I mean, you know, like it's very hard for a woman who gets cheated on to not take it personally. I know it's all about the guy, but there is always some level there where you think, was I not good enough for you as just me on my own? So I waited until I was in a half-decent mindset, but it was still difficult for me, especially to return to the studio after so long, right? So I was very nervous going to see Drew, and I didn't really know what to expect. Because, you know, when you're working with different photographers as well, it's always a different vibe. We nailed this shoot in an hour. I kid you not. I had

beautiful lingerie bought from licenza um licenza in singapore went to their orchard store got some really stunning pieces i also had a set from anne summers in the uk and drew and i were just like it was just an easy breezy super short done dusted shot and when he sent me the photos i was just like oh my god is that me I couldn't believe I look like that again and when my second thought was oh my god I can't post these this is too sexual and I remember thinking there is one specific one where I just look insane but people gonna be like oh you know that's only fans level of content it's not but that was my fear right so I think oh my god if I post these are people going to think, oh yeah, she just wants attention, whatever, whatever. And then I was like, fuck it,

no, I want to post. I want to post. And I did. And the response I got was incredible. Not a single negative response at all. And I wanted to post these photos to hero a single 35-year-old woman who has just returned to the single life, you know, no kids, there's no marriage on the horizon. I'm back to kind of square one with myself. To hear a woman like that who loves what she looks like, who is confident, who has broken the mold, you know, who was going through a breakup and still, you know, can pull that out the bag. And I just wanted to, yeah, empower myself and empower other women through myself as well. And it worked. When I saw those photos, I was like, oh, my God, I felt incredible.

It's like, look at me. That's me at 35. Are you serious? Yeah, it was great. And then obviously with these posts led to women coming forward and this girl reaching out and saying you should do a podcast about it because I am unapologetically sexual. and why the fuck should I be ashamed of how I look and everything that I've been through because it's not just you're never just your looks or you're never just your personality it's a combo

right it's your your physical outside is attached and related to your inside so for me knowing what I've just had to heal from and what's been done to me especially in the last like five and a half years just to see that I was like wow like I inspired me in that moment um it just gave me a lot of like sexy strong single girl vibes and you know complete hashtag body positivity and a complete body confidence boost I gave myself my own body confidence boost because when I saw these photos it was like I don't have body goals from someone else who you know I'm looking at their photos like I wish I looked like that I am my own body goals how cool is that yes some of the lingerie was barely there a couple of the photos is like you you see a lot

but also I'm so proud of that like that's my ass that ass is not filtered it's not photoshopped it's not injected isn't there's no implants that's my ass it looks like that honestly like couldn't be happier and this is what I want to empower in other people I don't mean everyone has to go and do a lingerie photo shoot or anything but I want that female sexuality and and happiness and confidence with our own body. I want every woman to have that. Why shouldn't you? Why shouldn't you feel this way about yourself?

Why should I be fearful about showing off something that I adore, which is my own body and my own self, in case someone thinks I'm a whore? Like, if you think I'm a whore, then don't come on my page then, you know? Like, leave me alone. judgment free you go do you you do me but for the first time I was fucking shocked the reaction because there was no whore reaction there was no judgment it was everyone was like celebrating me for what I'd gone through and how I looked and it was great and it's just so wonderful but yeah you don't have to do a lingerie photo shoot what I'm saying is is do something or be something that

makes you feel this way. Because I just don't want any shame. You shouldn't feel ashamed of your body. You shouldn't feel ashamed to love your own body. Fuck off. I love my body. And there is no shame to that. I want women to celebrate their own bodies. I want female sexuality to be spoken about, normalized. There's no stigma. Hi, yeah, I masturbate. Yeah, I love it. Yeah. Yeah. What's that? Oh, my God. She did it when she masturbates. Yeah, of course I do. Everyone really should masturbate. Great. Guys do it. Girls do it. Why are we still ashamed for it? Nah. I like having sex. What? Yeah, I do. I actually really love having sex. I actually have a kink. I like BDSM, which will be coming up in another episode. So definitely

stay tuned for that but why I'm not I just I'm very loud and proud and like with everything and I want to normalize that for everyone so yeah that's my kind of like my it's a quick episode today a 10-minute chat about being unapologetically sexual I would like all the women out there to come forward and tell me I guess moments where you felt as empowered and unapologetically sexual yourself. I'd love to hear from you guys. I hope this has pumped you up as well. It's pumped me up. I'm in the studio like, yes, go Knicks. I want to go and get my ass out again. Post another photo. I'm not, I'm not. Yeah, slide into my DMs, ladies. It would be really cool if actually I can gather a lot of your comments and create an episode out of that. That will be

a vibe and these moments where you've really felt empowered about your own body and your self-confidence and your self-love. And that is the end of this episode. I shall see you next week. Thanks for listening to the Sex and Singapore City podcast. This episode was produced and hosted by me nick selena and recorded at the splice car studio in singapore i'm available to listen to on spotify apple podcasts google and all major podcast listening apps do subscribe to enjoy a new episode every monday evening please do give me a five star review it helps other people also find my podcast for more awesome content and features to read you can check out my website sexandsingaporecity.com. That's sexandsingaporecity.com. I'm also on social media.

Simply search at Nixalina, N-I-X-A-L-I-N-A to find me. Don't be shy. Come say hi.