Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - What Life is Like in the 'No Sex Club' - Spoiler, It's By Choice

Episode Date: January 26, 2026

Farewell sex, farewell men and farewell all my stress and misery! With love, Nixalina. For more awesome content to read including beauty, fashion or dating & love features, please do head over to my digital platform www.nixalina.com. Don't be shy, come say hai! Head over to my Instagram or Tiktok @nixalina to slide into my DMs.

This podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships, sex and love. It may not be suitable for younger listeners. This is the Can't Keep My Mouth Shut podcast and I am Nixa Lina. Hi, it's Nixa fucking Lina. And the reason why I'm talking like this is because of the shitty episode title, which is cold. What life is like in the no-sex club. Yes, can I please have one ticket admission to the no-sex club? Yes, or maybe I'm a founding member at this point.

Who knows? This episode, I guess, is a Nick Salina tea spill. we like these episodes now and again well you guys fucking love them I try and steer away from it as much as I can I have tried my best to keep my private life out of the mic um which it never used to be but uh I can't yeah I wanted to be more educational you know like I want you guys to know how to spot a fucking narcissist a mile away save yourself years of heartbreak save yourself marrying the wrong person. Oh, I don't know. How to swerve a sociopath. Anything but that. But you guys love it when I go, this is my life update. I don't know why I did that. Oh, I'm going to do different

accents now. What accent was that? I could do a little bit of Irish. Every Irish person's like, can you shut up? Fair. So life in the no sex club. Listen, you want to know the last time I had sex? 10th of September correct I was seeing a guy we won't go there I wish I hadn't from April till September last year

a lot of sex a lot of sex I was going to say it's great sex it's great sex because of what I brought to the table whenever I bring in the dominant angle it's great sex because that was on me if you didn't know if you know how to do that before right and you're not

dominant and i had to teach you right that's me i'm the reason the sex was good also best blow jobs of his life yeah literally seen that in a text message to his friend the best blow job of his entire life circa nick selena you are welcome babe however um that ended in a chaotic explosion of pain and misery and yeah 10th of september so the last person that i've ever been close to was my ex of last year so how long have i been in the no sex club september october november December, January. Fuck me. Well, fuck me or fuck me not. That's the point of it. I'm not getting fucked. Was it nearly five months? Fuck. So why do I want to talk about this? Well, why not? Lots of us go through no sex spells and I'm doing it by choice. So after

After he fucked off across the world, I just, I felt so used and damaged and sad. It was very sad, very, very sad because I'd been fed a lie. I'd been fed that he was in love with me. I'd been told he, I was the best woman he'd ever met. He was going to end up with me. Like, it goes on and on and on. It's pretty fucking brutal what happened. um and it was all horseshit wasn't it and then I just thought what was what is the fucking point

of that but it was less about him as to why I'm in the no sex club more about the last 10 years of my dating life because I looked in an objective view and I was like fuck me I haven't really truly been single for longer than 11 months. And in my head, I am well single the whole time, right? I tell myself good stories. I'm a storyteller and I tell myself really good stories. You are always single. No, the reality is actually I'm never single. And yeah, I realized the biggest gap was from my Singaporean partner to the dude I met I was with last year in 2025 so when my Malay Singaporean partner him and I separated in April 2024 and then I know that was a bullshit lie I'd say May

you know there's always that bit in it you separate but then you don't then you keep sleeping with each other so i'd say end of may 2024 and then i met 2025 dude we'll call him ian because we called him ian before i met him in april 2025 so it was like yeah 11 months correct god look guys me a math and geography and time we're not I'm not good I'm not good with numbers or anything but that was 11 months am I wrong could be less that was the longest I'd ever been actually single I'm thinking like oh no it's got to be more than that no even before like before I met my Malay partner I met him like September October 2023 that summer I was with Bali boy for four months

from March until June like I was in and out of Bali the whole time like I just I haven't been single right so the longest was 11 months and when I am single it's not a case of like living my best life la la la I'm usually damaged on the last cretin I dated and then I spend months trying to untangle mentally the trauma bond and the pain and misery on the last cunt I just bounced from cunt to cunt really. In fact, I think I went worse. I think I went from narcissist to like pure fucking sociopaths. Got no evidence or proof, of course, because it's very rarely you get a sociopath in a room to be properly diagnosed. Usually has to go against their will. So yeah, I just realised from moving to Singapore when I was 29 to now turning

39 this May, I've never been single for longer than 11 fucking months. And of course, in those 11 months, I was busy, weren't I? Like, before I met Ian in April, I had, yeah, Chinese Singaporean guy for a bit now he he was fucking good in bed um I know he still listens because we spoke uh yeah great great in bed like literally the best sex I've had in a very long time and it was like oh my god do you think yeah Chinese Singaporean oh my god no he was six foot one six foot two I think younger than me fucking body oh amazing amazing body wow yeah uh back in the room next selena yes and yes i would go there again in case you're wondering i would however however i'm in the no sex club right now so the reason why this is happening is because i just can't bring myself

enough to want to deal with men anymore. So you could say it's the no sex club, or you could say it's the no man club. And it's not because I have no man. I don't want them. Like, I don't want your dick. I don't want your texts. I don't want you blowing up my phone. I don't want your calls or video calls. I don't want your drunken. I don't want it. I have, it's like I've gone right the other way like when Ian fucked off I just I was in pain and misery for a bit up until very recently I will be so bold as to say and then I've just gone not in just not interest no interest no fucking interest and there's also an element of just growing up in terms of a lot of people especially if they've been cheated on or betrayed or hurt or the separation has come out the blue

they go find someone else immediately like oh I'm fine look at me I'm great oh I got all this pussy on my doorstep oh yeah oh I immediately got another boyfriend I am thriving are you are you because to me it looks like the fucking opposite and that's avoidance it's avoiding healing it's avoiding processing it's avoiding sitting in motions it's avoiding everything and if you have to literally have to bounce from one sexual partner to another because you can't cope being alone there's a problem there and it also means you validate yourself with someone else's body like oh well if all these people fancy me that means I'm really good looking does it does it or does it mean that you are actually quite fragile and your self-worth

esteem and self-appearance is dependent solely on how much external validation you get from other people so you need 10 different people to tell you how great you are before you feel that you're great is that it would you say that's really it clearly I don't have that problem because I ain't fucked anyone and have no interest since September last year and I love this dude um this Ian dude like I loved him you know and and if you love someone really love someone you don't bounce from people to people you you take time and you grieve you know what I mean you're sad and if you're sad that's normal if you're sad and you take time to date that's normal people make you feel like you're the problem if you can't immediately jump into someone else's fucking

legs no no no it's quite the opposite and so I figured I would lead by example on this because I talk about this a lot I'm like but like I don't I I went on one date with one guy and I ran home we can look we had a great day like and he was a beautiful boy gorgeous guy I weren't ready I just weren't ready for it and uh yeah I could have gone home and spent the night with him and I left at like 11 o'clock and I realized I just realized like this isn't fair I don't I'm not even ready to date I don't want to drag anyone else into this because I'll just be using them to make myself feel better because I'm not in it anymore for I just don't want a dude I just don't want it and when I look back on my sexcapades and my relationships and my time with

men it's never oh that was fucking amazing I'm glad that happened no take last year as example what the fuck was that all about what a waste of tears and time and energy and what a shitty pointless summer of pain of being dragged emotionally and lied to I was lied to on repeat and I was fucked around on repeat and he knew he could because he knew I was in love with him that was it and all we had to say was I love you I want to be with you and he kind of got away with murder so there you go he didn't get a not actual merger calm down it's a fucking phrase so yeah and I just think what is the point but I felt the same about the Singaporean partner what was the point in that and every time I am with someone my content usually takes a back seat I don't go to

the gym as much I derail or you know I get I just don't feel like I am my fullest self to myself and this time around i'm like no i don't need sex to make me feel good and maybe that's because i haven't had really good sex for a while oh you know that like there was two guys there's a brit boy after my fiance and then there's the chinese singaporean those two and that's since they were the two since 2021 where I was like this sex is so fucking amazing I want it every damn day I want it every night every day it was just those two lads and they're both beautiful as well which helps but you can have beautiful people and just shit in bed like you can be really pretty but every time you try and lick me out I feel fucking nothing because you're crap at it

there's that but yeah there's only two scenarios and these two weren't even like they didn't even end up as natural partners right but other than that I'm like what is the point I don't know man no sex club through choice right through choice and I'm sorry if you're listening and you're part of the people that I've matched with and I like amassed me out and I keep saying I'm really busy and I am really busy and that's another thing why I've joined the no sex club says I'm too fucking busy to date i'm too like i can't give any energy to a dude right now because every time i do you guys fucking let me down what is the point in falling in love just to have you go oh no i'm only joking i don't really love you um oh no uh i do love you but i accidentally had a threesome but

i do love you but i do love you oh i love you but um i accidentally went to the fullerton hotel with a prostitute oh but i do love you but i do love you but um i'm gonna accidentally come on why is a point what a waste of time can't do it I don't have the time to waste so to be clear the next man that comes into my life he's the one or it don't happen do you know what I mean I'm not saying I have to next date and I go right you're it on day one you you're the love of my life what yeah we haven't even ordered starters yeah i know i've had one beer i'm in i'm in imagine get through half a pint right what what bridesmaid colors should we have no but what i mean is when i next commit myself my body my feelings to someone he's the one

other than that don't waste my fucking time and i don't i just don't want it you got that also life in the no sex club physically is fine if you're like what about living without sex yeah it's all right I had a shit ton of it last summer uh me and this Ian were just like on flight fucking like rabbits yeah good great does that fulfill me no does that make me feel no did I feel worse after yeah because then i felt used for set like okay good call we fucked was great and then and then what do you know what i mean um and also i have amazing toys so i can get myself off whenever i want within minutes rather than waiting for a dude to learn how his fucking tongue works

oh yawn i can get myself four minutes and then so then i'm time saving and i and then I can go back to things like my book or my you know anything to do with my career or I can go to the gym sex is just a waste of my time at this point it's hilarious because it's fucking true I will um happily update you when I'm not in my no sex club if you want to know if you fucking want to know and that's the other thing what usually happens with me is once I do have sex with someone that is um that's me moving on so yeah it's like fuck I've fucked someone therefore I'm mentally done and it takes me a while but clearly not that long given the only fucking longest stint I had was 11 months in a decade in a fucking decade I'm like girl I mean

2026 for me, I would fucking love it to be the year where I am just single. Single and sexless. I want to be single and sexless. I know that sounds fucking ridiculous, but it's true. Because I can't be arsed. And I want to focus on myself. And you know how you focus on yourself when you don't date, you don't deal with fucking men and their bullshit and their trauma and their avoidance and their cheating lying bollocks ways and you just focus on yourself and your happiness and I've never been more at peace than I am right now on that note dudes and dolls gonna love you and leave ya anyone else in the no sex club voluntary or involuntary please share your ideas and comments on it slide into my dms

on instagram at nixalina n-i-x-a-l-i-n-a and on that note i will look forward to seeing you all next week thanks for listening to the can't keep my mouth shut podcast produced and hosted by me nixalina i'm recorded in the splice car studios in singapore i'm available to listen to on spotify Apple Podcasts, Google and all major podcast listening apps. Do subscribe to enjoy a new episode every Monday evening. Please do give me a five-star review. It helps other people also find my podcast. For more content and features to read, you can check out my website, nixalina.com. That's nixalina.com. I'm also on social media. Simply search at Nixalina, N-I-X-A-L-I-M-A

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