Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - Why is Everyone So F***king OBSESSED with Becoming an Influencer?

Episode Date: January 24, 2022

Since when did taking photos of yourself on repeat and videos of self-obsessed footage make someone a person of influence? Since when did people choose fame with zero talent over actually honing a talent? Who are these people even influencing? Why does everyone think that they have to become some social media influencer to be successful at what they do? I do not get it.

This podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships, sex and love. It may not be suitable for younger listeners. This is the Sex in Singapore City podcast and I am Nick Salina. Hi, it's Nick Salina. I'm an influencer and a content creator and a podcaster and a blogger. um and placenta yeah i love my life this episode everyone is called why is everyone so fucking obsessed with becoming an influencer and how to spot those fake biatches why am i doing this episode basically i know it comes from like a double-edged sword here because i am in this

content creator category. But I don't understand on any level why people are so fucking obsessed with being an influencer, right? I don't get it. And it just feels like now's the time to just call people out on their bullshit. Because for me, I feel like there's, you should want to become successful in your field, right? In your, you know, what do you wake up for every day? What's M.O. And when I started my blogging journey when I was 23, I wanted to write. I was a trained writer. I'd gone to uni for three years doing English literature and journalism and photography and I then went straight to become a fashion and beauty writer at a magazine in London when I was 21. So I'm a writer, right? And then I just, I left the magazine and was like, right, I want to

set up a blog. 23 is old as well, by the way, blogging world. And then it turns out I'm a fucking good writer, which is great because it means my degree wasn't wasted, nor was the £16,000 debt to get me through it. So yeah, I'm like, cool, I'm actually a really good writer. People seem to love it. Did I write for any kind of fame and notoriety? No. Within the first year, I had an agency. They were repping me as, you know, this bright new blogger on the scene, whatever, really funny, witty, humorous stories about dating in London. And, you know, it just grew from there. And basically, I somehow became coined as London's Carrie Bradshaw, obviously, sex in London City, sex in the city, and I was coined a sexpert by national press.

Please note, I never, ever called myself a sexpert, ever. Or a dating expert, they'd write that about me as well. And when I say national press, I'm talking all the glossy mags, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Daily Mail, London Metro, all the big numbers, I was in them with this kind of label. i never once said i am a sex but do you know why because how can you be an expert in sex for me it's like completely subjective you can be very knowledgeable um you can go off and do degrees and diplomas and all that jazz and get qualifications in this field yes but i didn't give myself that title that was thrust upon me and i rolled with it because cool if the daily email and whatever saying I'm a sexpert then sure but I was a writer by trade my passion was being

a writer I would get interviewed and one of the things I would be asked on repeat was how do I live like a luxury life like you how do you get into it where you know I was beat look I'm not gonna say I've had a crap time I was being gifted some really wonderful pieces by designers I was attending press events every week i was doing london fashion show um twice a year for like god five or six years sitting front row going to after parties i get it i had a really like inspirational lifestyle i think that people wanted but this was way before the influencer existed as well so when i get interviewed that asked me how do i do this how do i get you know free shit it used to really annoy me that question because I'm like I never

I never sat down researched how to start a blog and started writing about my experiences because I wanted free Vivian Westwood shoes or I wanted to be uh London Fashion Week front that was never ever in my mind why because I didn't think anyone was going to fucking read it ever and I didn't do it like I wrote because I love to write it's the same way I paint I don't paint because I want someone to have it in their hallway and I don't paint to become some Instagram artist I paint because I like the art of painting I like doing it that's the same in writing and it made it feel like what I was doing the end goal was to have some notoriety to be the famous sex blogger of London, to be the one at the shows, you know, to be papped by magazines. I wasn't it.

Was it a wonderful life? Yeah. Did I enjoy it? Yeah. Am I proud of myself? Yeah. I did it all on my own. I did it whilst having a full-time job as well. Look, this is not a circle jerk of Nick's. there is a reason why i'm telling you this backstory okay um and then when i moved to singers i then found the same empty need and want to write i just missed writing and i had to drop sex in london city because the current magazine i was at saw it as a conflict of interest okay yeah fair so i stopped writing what i wanted to write for a good two and a half years and i fucking missed it. So as soon as I left the magazine, I was like, I want to bring my brand here. I also noticed that there isn't as many open, honest, vocal people on the island talking

about the kind of stuff that I cover. So I was like, I feel like it could work. Or I get deported. Thank fuck it's the first option. But it was never again for me to be receiving press drops at my door for me to go to press events I did all that the magazine as well it's a wonderful wonderful life but that's not my ultimate goal my ultimate goal is to create then thank god my producer found me and said hey have you considered a podcast I think you've got really niche stuff and I went and had a chat with Splice Studios and yeah the rest is history there and now my podcast is in all the roundups i'm in vogue cna tatla l straights times what did i start a podcast because i was like one day i will be in vogue no i fucking didn't i did the podcast because

someone else saw a talent in me thank god and because you guys actually listen thank god but i had no idea i could have bombed i could have done four weeks of podcasting and been like should we call it a day because awkward and luckily it went the other way I would don't really like calling myself an influencer and I'd like to make it very clear that it's not I don't just sit on a mic and talk shit and I don't take to my laptop and write crap everything is researched and everything has come from like a decade of experience you know it's not something I haven't picked a random like I want fashion products sent to my house so I'm gonna like talk about fashion when you've got no knowledge you know there's no there's nothing there there's

no substance that's not what I've done in the last x amount of years everyone suddenly fucking become obsessed with being an influencer, being a content creator. And I just can't wrap my head around it because I look at some of these profiles and I'm like, what? What's your core? What's your MO? What are you doing? And it feels like these days, any girl or guy can take selfies I call myself an influencer if that selfie gets like a shitload of likes or they got their tits out or arse or whatever they're an influencer I don't get it what are you influencing your selfie who are you influencing I don't understand I'll take my partner as an example he has no social media because he doesn't need it he's a

very very very successful broker his success in his what he's passionate about and he's talented about is fuck all to do with Instagram so he doesn't have one I don't understand these people that clearly have a day job or do something that's nothing to do with being an influencer and yet they they tell themselves they're an influencer I don't understand and I think what if the apps crash say tomorrow instagram died um please don't we love you instagram and tiktok disappeared right what what what's left what these people doing honestly i don't get it and the the main things i think coming back to the main question is why I think people do it for an ego boost, for the dopamine hit. And if you're a good person,

you're good at creating content for the money. Let me get this clear. I do not have any issue with influencers, people of influence, people who've honed their craft, people that have a direct, strong message that they have a brand, people that have an authority in that field. I'm here for that right the bit that I don't get is people calling themselves bloggers when they don't have a blog I saw loads of those when Instagram came I'm a blogger I'm like where's your blog oh I don't have one I just post the photos right we are not blogger then are we go who don't write anything and people who claim to be influencers because it makes them feel better but they're not I don't like what are you influencing I don't understand someone please

fucking help me out here and tell me that you guys feel the same. Because it feels like what's happened is the and I know brands as well over the past years have also felt this. The influencer pool has been so diluted with people self calling themselves influencers, calling themselves content creators, and having no real angle that that then you don't really know who is actually an influence and who isn't. And if you go out, it's all about the numbers on Instagram, about the followers. I know of so many profiles that have got hundreds and thousands of followers that are clearly bought because each photo would get like 200 likes. What? I think people even called Kim K out on it years ago. It was the same, same. Look at the percentage. Say you've got 500,000

followers right I'm not talking about Kim I'm talking like proverbial you 500,000 followers and you get 300 likes on a photo and two comments or five comments that ratio ain't right is it it just doesn't make sense so you got 300,000 followers 400 likes three comments your engagement doesn't match up to your numbers that doesn't make any sense and yet these people will deem themselves influencers and even worse people around them will treat them like they're epic because of this large following that's clearly fake and paid for hello why would you only get a few hundred likes if you've got like 500 000 followers who are all these people following you and not looking at your shit what come on come on now luckily brands have caught on to this and i

think other people have caught on to this well and it moved away from your numbers game to engagement game which is fantastic and people actually give a shit more about genuine connections your genuine influence i even hate the word influence that sounds awful like i influence people no you don't people have their own fucking mind and can do what they want i feel like it's become a very fake world it creates fake friendships and it's a fake pool of a number game and people not everyone but seem to get really up their own ass if they think they're an influencer um i take this wonderful example when i said i'm doing a podcast i was with my ex he was like uh yeah I should start a podcast I'm like okay you're a personal trainer

so what all right yeah you're gonna do a health podcast all right yeah fair qualified personal trainer trainer trainer trainer he's got like no actual qualifications and a lot of them so fair that I get but not everyone can be a podcaster you can't just go like right it's really easy you just sit on a mic you spurt shit people love you done so he decided being the narc that he is that if I'm able to hold a podcast and do it well he should have one it's the same as him wanting a blog when I was a blogger I had to set him up with a blog as well and then I had to edit every single fucking piece he did because he can't write not his fault he didn't have an education that high so he didn't his writing skill isn't there that's not his problem in that like it's not an issue

but then don't say you're a blogger because you can't write anything you know so it's the same the podcast I let him be he even asked me to design a logo for him once and I swerved thank god and I think their podcast him and his buddy did like five episodes in a year five five in total now i can't remember it was less than 10 it was shit um yeah so clearly he decided he could definitely be a podcaster and he couldn't could he because he wasn't and it was like oh yeah whatever you can do i can do uh i deserve that as well that's the mindset and even worse from that is there was some chick, it's Jim, who then was like, oh, she's like a female knock, was like, oh, I should do a podcast as well. And then trying to get information out of my ex on how to create

a podcast, which obviously come from me, because she deserved to do a podcast because she's so great in her head. Right. Okay. I'm not spitting on people wanting to give things a go. I'm not. and I think we all we should all do things and try things out of our comfort zone we should also always push ourselves the part that bothers me is the airs and graces people give themselves like oh yeah I wake up every day and I influence people you don't you work at a gym or oh yeah I'm such an influencer um I got like all these hundreds of followers and you should pay me to come to your venue and people like I know I'll come and eat for free and um take loads of photos and just this this entitlement I don't know if you guys I'd have to find it if please dm me for the thing but I

remember there was this big viral case of this influencer trying to get a hotel stay and then for free and the hotel manager basically emailed back and was like nah I don't really know who you are or care and my business does not need an influencer to bring in all the other people like foot traffic is great thanks and then she got really upset and was like oh my god you're so rude um and then there was one other girl crying her eyes out um that went viral because Instagram closed her account down or she lost like hundreds and thousands of followers and she'd built up forever and cried and cried and said it's my job that concerns me a lot because your dependence is wholly on an app any app can crash and go away honey your followers can disappear tomorrow heck

I got hacked I don't know if you all remember that I got hacked two years ago and for two months my account was gone. And I had to pay a hacker to hack my old hacked account. Yep, yep, yep, yep, that happened. Two months and I got it back. Did I cry my eyes out? No, it was horrible. It spent 10 years building up the account. But it's also just an account of pictures. You know, I get it. It's where a lot of people's money and livelihood and come from. And it is a business. I get that. but that's for actual influencers. I'm not talking about the people that are crafting their field. I'm talking about everyone else who is seemingly obsessed with becoming one without any foundations or groundwork or craft. One of my fake friends, bless her,

actually messaged me and was like, oh my God, congratulations, you got 30,000 followers. followers and I was like I've had them for months it was really weird just out the blue message on Instagram she'd obviously been sitting there looking at my followers and the the in on the convo was congratulate me on them it was literally like four months later I was like I've had them for a while and then she was like oh yeah anyway I just don't know how to get you know above 10k I don't know how to get my followers up basically please help me get my followers up how did you do it that was her friend conversation she basically was just putting a shoe in to talk about herself and focus on getting her own page up hmm yeah I was like well I've been doing this for a decade

and I and I have a brand like it's hard work actual influencers people that are in the business of content creation fuck me youtubers I don't know how they do it the way they create the videos the craft the way they do it every week like there's this fucking awesome influencer Bailey Siren she does murder mystery and makeup I'm addicted to her channel addicted she does the most incredible makeup she does it all on screen and has researched these crimes and murders and mysteries and disappearances so in depth that she's a storyteller there is a no one like her if there is show me there's no one like a fucking lover that to me is a person of influence a key opinion leader a kol she's got her own niche she fucking works at it it's not just taking a selfie

and saying hi i'm an influencer of what taking selfies okay that's a 20 minute rant it is but I don't get it um if you want to know how to spot these fake biatches is what another thing I said I would talk about very easy look at the engagement versus the numbers and if everything is super positive and happy all the time 24 7 understand that's not real life or human life and that's also fake if someone is repeating the same message over and over and over and over and over and over again like oh my god i'm gonna motivate you what's your motivation 10 points of motivation today today you gotta get up and go motivate motivate motivate thou doth protest too much in my eyes

that ain't real is it that's not real yo stop saying you're real i'm real i'm super real you're not because no one's that happy all the time and guess what in real life people talk and that's another way to spot the fake ones is people will talk about the person in real life and then goes get like gossip and whispers travel and you'll find out that I go yeah she's actually not like that friendly in real life oh yeah in real life her relationship sucks and you know she's a bit odd or um yeah the they portray this amazing couple on instagram and honestly it's the opposite in real life that you get that everyone around them will not start to see the truth you can't hold that fakeness forever and it will all bleed out and people start to know

i'll try and end this on a happy note listen if you want to be an influencer or you're obsessed with influencers or you think you are great but find something that you are passionate about don't launch into the world of influencer and try and carbon copy another profile that is seemingly doing well do you whatever you are good at and stick to it and have an authority in your own area of expertise whatever it may be and also for god's sake understand that you are able to be successful without becoming an influencer. And that is the end of this episode. Thank you all for listening. I'm sure many of you will resonate with the stuff I'm saying. I'm just tired of it. Super tired of the fakeness. And I just started to call people out on their bullshit

now, especially online bullshit. I'll call you out. So don't come at me with it. If facts are facts and you're trying to present the opposite, yeah, I'll let you know. And for those who actually do influence i just think you're doing a fucking incredible job i mentioned one youtuber that i adore my other good friend sophie hannah please check her out on instagram and tiktok her makeup on tiktok is insane she does the most incredible halloween looks and she did the grinch for Christmas and I am gobsmacked at the the artistry the skill the timing the voiceovers that everything everything um fantastic like one of the best people to follow those I am down with people that really work fucking hard good on you for other people that just want the fame and the ego boost

have a day off would you Thanks for listening to the Sex and Singapore City podcast. This episode was produced and hosted by me, Nick Salina, and recorded at the Splice Car Studio in Singapore. I'm available to listen to on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google, and all major podcast listening apps. Do subscribe to enjoy a new episode every Monday evening. Please do give me a five-star review.

It helps other people also find my podcast. for more awesome content and features to read you can check out my website sexandsingaporecity.com that's sexandsingaporecity.com i'm also on social media simply search at nixalina n-i-x-a-l-i-n-a to find me don't be shy come say hi