Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - Why The F*** Did He Stop Texting You? Let's Ask The Guys

Episode Date: August 31, 2020

There you are, staring at a blue-tick situation in which the guy you like just decided to stop replying to you... at all. Given before it was back and forth conversation, or the fact you thought (and he acted) like your first date was epic - what the hell happened to turn him off? Is he even turned off, or is his phone simply turned off?  Rather than beat our brains for an answer, lets ask the guys for some real talk on why they suddenly just stop texting us back.  B*stards. 

This podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships and sex. It may not be suitable for younger listeners. This is the Sex in Singapore City podcast and I'm Nick Salina-Watson. Hello, I'm back with another episode of my awesome podcast and this one is eight guys explain why they take so long to text you back. Very interesting. Why is it only eight guys? Couldn't tell you. It should be 88 or 888. I could interview 8,888 guys, but we'd be here all day, and I'm pretty sure we'd have very similar responses. So it's just eight guys. It's a a random mix. It's not like any exes of mine or anything like that. But I feel like it's a very

important message because many men are going to say, oh, no, you're playing the gender card. But I believe lots of guys actually don't text back and us women really go into mental overdrive because we haven't heard from them. So that's very, it doesn't have to be a long episode. we can take this as short as we want. Let's just delve in quickly to reasons why guys don't text us back. And maybe that will make us more understanding when we get blue ticked on WhatsApp, you bastards. FYI, we all know being blue ticked is the worst thing. In fact, my other half still does it to me. So if you're listening, fucking respond. On that note, let's start, shall we? Okay, let's call him guy number one. Quote, I've missed a few replies simply because

I don't want to lead them on. I may have got a girl's number or got an old number from a girl I used to date and simply don't reply. The lack of interest doesn't motivate me to reply. Sometimes the initial text back and just for the attention but then they soon lose their appeal sorry girls end quote okay fine i hear what he's saying but let's be honest we would all prefer a bit of honesty and if from what i gather from that is he's kind of just likes the text attention he likes knowing that she's interested in him but then like what i say in every bloody podcast when i talk about this or any blog that i write guys love the initial chase and they just as soon as you're interested or they know they got you they lose interest assholes anyway moving swiftly on

guy number two quote in the past i have not replied to messages only when i've met someone else. I don't see that it's fair to carry on texting a girl if I've met someone or even texting someone else. I have let a few text conversations fade out as a way of moving on with another interest. It's not personal. Maybe I should just be honest and upfront if that happens again. End quote. I like this guy. I like him because he's standing up for what I believe in, which is that I can't text loads of people at once he said it's not fair to carry on texting a girl if he's already met someone else and that is exactly how I feel I can't do it and I know people that do do it and it's actually you know I guess a lot easier the early stages of dating

to be able to have more than one person on the end of your phone to keep the attention and interest up you know because no one likes being alone but he's he's very much like actually I will phase you out but that would probably because I've actually met someone I am clicking more with and that's something we don't really think of we don't ever think actually maybe this guy's not texting me back because he's doing me a favor because he's actually found someone else he he kind of prefers and would I rather keep hearing from him even though he's not interested or knowing he's texting someone else no once again definitely should just be honest though shouldn't Yeah, and say to her, I get it, it's actually quite difficult, but yeah, could try.

Guy number three. Quote, OK, I know this sounds bad, but I've avoided texting back when I realised we're just not getting anywhere. I've sent your text to see if sex was on the cards. And when it's not, for whatever reason, or I'm just not feeling it, I just can't text back. I may invite them out or over to mine. And if they're not playing ball, then the game is over. End quote. Wow.

How do we feel about that one? Basically, he just wants to shag. If he's not getting immediate penis rubs, if he thinks you're not actually going to be up for it and you maybe want to get to know him as a person, then he's not going to respond. Are you missing out? Nah, sweetheart, you're fucking not.

I would not worry about that kind of guy. number four quote I've not texted the girl back before basically because I didn't know what was going on she was difficult to read I wasn't sure she fancied me and all the texts were general convos and nothing flirty there were no signs of flirting back or so I thought I was wasting my time whether she did really like me I guess I'll never know maybe I should text her actually and find out end quote yeah dude you could text her and find out i think that's a good uh a good method but what i will pick up on which is something that i think he's articulated pretty well and sometimes we send texts trying to be mates and friendly in that but actually yeah

if you're not giving off the signs that you are interested then how is a guy supposed to know And I know I'm very much an advocate for like keeping your cards close to your chest at the beginning. Don't be too available. Don't be too emotionally available at the beginning. It kind of like has an adverse effect. You do still need to let the dude know that you're after more than just a play date. Do we even do play dates beyond like the age of five? I don't know why I said that.

It's a play date. But you get the idea. guy number five quote sometimes i get a text from a girl on some dating site and i know exactly what it's going to say hey how are you what are you up to i just know that if i reply or even open it we'll be texting back and forth about boring casual stuff that leads to nothing i do get bored by text and will probably only reply if it's something new exciting or different the boring day-to-day chat i just can't get to work with end quote to be honest i'm totally on i'm totally on board with this because i get the same with guys and i'm like oh especially hey what

you up to and when it's what you up to but it's not even fucking spelled out because i can't even be bothered to do that just letters yeah nothing much just at home at the gym it is fucking boring. It works for both ways, ladies and gentlemen. And it will make people stop responding to you. You don't have to make every text a fucking Shakespearean sonnet by any stretch of the imagination. But what you're up to, hey, babe, how are you? How's your day going? Like every day? Yeah, you've got to find a connection, a proper connection and explore conversation, which is interesting for both people guy number six quote i know this sounds like a stupid excuse but i sometimes get too busy i work loads in the week and play sports on the weekend and if a girl

texts me asking me to do something when i already have plans or it's out of my routine then i've been known not to text her back i guess this is just avoidance of not actually saying no but when I'm too busy I've got a busy week ahead I just don't bother texting back end quote okay in his fairness I totally get that also career girl also been super busy and I give a lot of advice to like guy mates who message me and say like you know people girls and guys just busy sometimes and that's not an excuse it's a legit reason that being said I'm also well aware that if you are genuinely interested in someone you won't let work or a busy schedule get in the way everyone will always find spare time for something that they want to do that's just fact so it sounds

to me like that person wasn't really even into the other person to try and make the effort in the first place guy number seven quote very often i felt like i'm the only one putting effort in it wouldn't be so bad if she texts me first every now and again but it was always me asking how her day went or if she was out in the night I just got fed up of it I played a game with myself that if I didn't chase her on the text would she even notice that we didn't speak so I didn't reply to her last message which really didn't have any questions in it and we haven't spoken since end quote yeah dude I feel you on that one effort is a two-way street and if the other person isn't putting in the same amount I would be the same like if you can withhold a

response and then that ends the conversation completely forever then yeah it was literally just you putting all the effort in girls expect I some of them expect text messages to keep coming to them you know like without putting F in like no actually you do have to do it both and and that's fair play on his in his part I'm saying like kudos to you because I would have behaved the same way and final guy number eight quote guys of my generation call people on the phone and actually talk getting text messages all the time confuses me most of them don't make sense and it takes too long to reply just phone me or i'll find you do you want to go out tonight yeah job done smiley faces and emojis is something i'm just not getting used to i have been known

not to text back because I simply haven't got a clue what to say. End quote. Okay, I don't know how old this guy is. But yeah, you can still text me without using emojis or smiley faces or acronyms. I mean, to be honest, in my world, only like really young teenagers use all the smileys and emojis and stuff anyway. So I believe that if you I mean, honestly, what girl is going to call you if she's like trying to date you I would be terrified to call up a guy hi he'd be like why you calling me hey do you want to go on a date no okay bye no dude like he must be in the nicest possible way old as fuck especially as he started off with guys of my generation anyway how do you feel about all those have you learned anything do you know what i've learned

to sum up the entire experience all you have to do is text back and be honest rather than just phasing people out or blue ticking them i get some of these i really do understand where some of these guys are coming from and i gotta be honest if i'm not getting the effort from someone I will just stop texting right but I'm not getting the effort from them so I'm not phasing them out because they're not there in the first place to phase out but if girls are texting you and you've started seeing someone else text her and say look I'm really sorry cool I actually had a guy um a while back we just we're gonna go on a date it never happened I weren't really overly interested but I text politely he

text politely and then eventually said to me look I don't want to be horrible but I've met someone and I was like oh that's brilliant I've actually also done the same so it's all good and it's really refreshing kind of like we were both like we don't actually really give two shits about each other so let's just stop the meaningless chat and if we bump into each other that's cool we could be mates let's let's go down that avenue shall we guys and leave a little bit respect to the women And women, vice versa, my friends. And that is the end of this episode. star review it helps other people find our podcast we're also on social media with facebook

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