Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - Why Was 2025 So FUCKED UP for Everyone?

Episode Date: December 29, 2025

No, you're not crazy, dramatic, or bad at coping. We've been so poorly served the year of the snake, the 9 year cycle and a whole load of messed up 'ending' vibes. There are some very real energetic, psychological, and astrological reasons why 2025 felt like one long emotional hangover. Let's dive in, shall we? With love, Nixalina. For more awesome content to read including beauty, fashion or dating & love features, please do head over to my digital platform www.nixalina.com. Don't be shy, come say hai! Head over to my Instagram or Tiktok @nixalina to slide into my DMs.

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Listen now by searching The Newsworthy in your podcast app or go to thenewsworthy.com. This podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships, sex, and love. It may not be suitable for younger listeners. This is the Can't Keep My Mouth Shut podcast, and I am Nick Salina. Hello, it's Nick Salina. Welcome, everyone, to the final episode of 2025. And thank fuck. This episode is quite aptly called

Why was 2025 so fucked up for everyone? And I mean everyone. What the hell was this year all about? Like, what the fuck was that? Right? No matter who you talk to. No matter what social media realm you're doom-scrolling that day, it's everywhere. And I thought I just had a right shitter.

But the more I looked on social media, the more I spoke to friends, the more things come out the woodwork. I was like, we all got bum-fucked. No lube. Damn it. Literally. It's like everyone is speaking. And you don't matter if you're single, partnered, rich, broke, atheist, spiritual, career woman, everyone. this year broken. And me fucking too. I won't do a deep dive overview of my horrendous year

because I'd rather talk about in general how it's affected us all, but I will touch upon it because I know you guys, you do love a little Nick Salina fucking tea spill. I don't think I've got the energy for it, to be honest, but basically it's the same shit, different year. I had my heart broken. I fell in love once again with someone who couldn't meet me where I deserved. I fell for lies again. I got betrayed again. Same shit, different years, same shit, different face. And it's took me, even now, like even now I'm still reeling from it. Like it's not like I've got to the start of the next year and be like, yay, oh, that's great. No, I'm still suffering. I still ruminate. I still go like, why? Why did that happen? Like, why did I deserve that?

Why did he think I deserve that? What could I have done differently so I weren't in that much pain? Why did I blindly trust again? Why did I blindly believe people's words again? you know bullshit all of it so that kind of usurped a lot of my year like for me April till now is a fucking blur I couldn't tell you what even happened and it just yeah it was like I was living in anxiety cortisol stress levels constantly high emotionally depleted lots of tears lots of tears lots of quiet nights at home just sad and I'm still I'm still suffering so there's that then I had black mold toxicity slash poisoning all fucking year I have seen four ENTs for those who don't know that's ear

nose and throat specialists. I have been referred to a neurologist. I have been referred to have my lungs x-rayed. I have been on back-to-back antibiotics, steroids, the fucking lot. My face blew up, super inflamed. My eyes blew up. I've been told if I had allergies, but then it weren't allergies and it was chronic tinnitus. And then it was, i posted online instagram my this word i cannot pronounce my crumb so basically means black mold toxic fucking poison because it was on my mri scan oh yeah i also had an mri on my fucking head and the doctor wrote this on the note and i googled it and it was basically like black mold it's not funny it ain't funny is it black mold poisoning potentially fatal that's

what I was like cool cool cool fucking cool almost to the point I thought sure course 2025 I had air con units filled with black mold that I was unaware of because I just moved in and there was no signs of mold please everyone check your air cons please and I feel like I'd only finally just kind of got that out of my system I'm still inflamed like I'm even waiting for blood tests back today i had all my i'd have all my organs tested kidneys and livers um livers like we have more than one all of my livers uh yeah i even had my thyroid had to be everything everything everything everything in and out i even saw an eye specialist got sent there to check my eyes i mean it's fucked up and if you're wondering like oh wow i did not see any of that on social

you look like you're having fun yeah because I hide shit well in fact 2025 was my year of hiding shit if I'd exposed what I'd been through relationship wise and then this as well and then everything else on top of it you'd be like what that's just two of the core things that's chronically ruined this year um sadly I lost my nan on Christmas day as well the one year I don't go back to the UK to see my family for Christmas because of work. So I stayed in Singapore. I lost her on Christmas Day, which was just, yeah, it's been fucking shit. The end. Oh, sorry. Don't even get me started on Lolly, my novel, right? I got three publishing deals last year. I turned them all down because I was going to self-publish this year. And the reasons I turned them down,

I've spoke about before. I wanted to make the book accessible. I didn't like the royalties and the contract obligations that these publishing houses were forcing on me. And I made the decision to go solo. But in January, blink, pain, misery, December. What? Do you think I've even looked at that book? No. I was too busy being screwed in every fucking possible way. Yo, what? So yeah, I even fucked it up. I feel like I failed. I was supposed to launch my book. I should be on a book tour right now around the fucking world talking about film rights. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, so that's my little shit that I went through. And I want to talk about today as to why you have had also a terrible year, which I think you have. You're not crazy.

you're not being dramatic and you're not bad at coping we just all got so poorly served the year of the fucking snake the nine-year cycle and a whole load of messed up ending vibes and there there are some very real I know you're like what very real energetic psychological and astrological reasons as to why 2025 felt like one long emotional fucking hangover so let's get into it Reason one, 2025 as a nine year, as the year of endings. So let's start with neurology. 2025 is a ninth year and the ninth years are notorious not for growth, but for closure. It's about endings, completion, grief, release, calming cycles, closing, letting go of identities, letting go of people and self illusions but here's the part people don't really talk about enough is

that endings especially in a nine year they rarely feel peaceful while they're happening they're the fucking opposite they are chaotic they feel unjust they feel unfair they're confusing they're painful and it feels like just like a loss across the board in a ninth year the universe does not ask any of us politely about anything. It just fucking goes balls deep and it removes what no longer fits or serves you, often very abruptly, without your willingness for it to even happen. That's why so many people this year experienced breakups that came out of nowhere, friendships drifting or ending suddenly, jobs became no longer tolerable, there was this general restlessness and dissatisfaction with our lives and feeling feeling done with things

you've previously once loved and fought for a nine year is not gentle it's final but it's also fucking brutal reason two why everything felt emotionally heavier another hallmark of a nine is emotional exhaustion. People don't just feel sad. Nay, nay. We're going next level. It's feeling fatigued, tired, so over feeling strong. I mean, you may have noticed you're crying more, crying out of nowhere, feeling numb instead of reactive or severely overreacting, not like you normally would be. Questioning your self-worth, old wounds that you thought were healed resurfacing, trauma coming to the surface too, and grief without a clear cause. That's because the ninth year brings emotional accounting. Everything you've avoided processing

before, everything you buried, everything you pushed through, it came up for review. Now, don't get me wrong, this wasn't regression. It was fucking reckoning, right? And once again, this shit ain't easy. It's not soft, it's not calm, and it is not centered. And it's not quick either so i can last a whole fucking year as it has done for me reason three the year of the damn snake i've got a lot of sign motherfuckers on this one because it needs a lot sign in chinese astrology 2025 is the year of the snake now snakes symbolize transformation rebirth intuition hidden truths and shedding of old skins but it sounds kind of like you're like that's quite nice right little the little rebirth little transformation get rid of an old skin

what's like that well yeah let me be very clear snakes don't really shed skin because they want to it's because the old skin becomes restrictive right so shredding skin the concept of that is not comfortable. It's not a fun thing to do on a Saturday morning, just get rid of your outer skin. YOLO, don't want it anymore. The year of the snake forces growth by making old versions of you uncomfortable as fuck until you have to shed it. That's why many people felt trapped in roles that they outgrew, suddenly intolerant of bullshit, hyper aware of red flags, restless in relationships, bored, unsatisfied in relationships, feeling the need to start again, feeling the need to move, to resign from their jobs, to search a new career path, just a general disconnection

from the person they have been for many years, often as well. The snake exposes truth quietly, not explosively. So you probably felt something was off long before you could explain it, but then everything comes to a fucking bomb-blowing head in 2025 anyway, so no choice but to confront it. Reason four. Why relationships fell apart so easily. this year was fucking brutal for relationships romantic and otherwise

why because 2025 stripped away all illusion people could no longer ignore misalignment pretend effort was mutual excuse emotional unavailability settle for breadcrumbs lack of emotional maturity being the only person doing all the heavy lifting emotionally feeling like you're replaying the same relationship patterns over and over again like many people this year just was like what the fuck I've been doing this this and this and this is where it's got me and once you get to that level once you have your eyes open like that you cannot unsee it. So if you're in a long-term relationship and you're like, this person is a fucking arsehole to me. I actually don't enjoy their time. We actually don't have anything in common. 2025,

just expose that to you. And reason number five, there's an identity collapse. Who am I without all of this? So because of all of the above that I've just spoke about, the thing that then follows suit. And one of the most painful parts is this identity loss. So you lose your partner, your jobs, your roles, your routine, your dreams, that you lose the version of yourself that you used to ground yourself in, that story of who you are. It's gone. And suddenly you're having to ask, well, who the fuck am I without this, without this partner, without this job, without this life plan. Who the fuck? Who am I if I don't keep following the same heartbreak patterns? Who am I if I don't chase this type of person? Who am I if I am now single again? Who am I if I don't even

enjoy this job and I suddenly am jobless? It's a fucking terrifying question. But it is also the exact question, a nine-year forces you to answer. So it wasn't failure. It was an ego death, I guess you could say. The death of who you thought you always were and who you were supposed to be. Reason six, why everyone felt behind or lost. Common theme I also heard over and over is, I feel like people, everyone is moving forward except me. And I felt that too. Perfect example, my novel, fuck all, done nothing. I was too busy in dick sand all fucking year.

But let's all breathe, let's all breathe and take a moment because this part about everyone else is doing so well but you, this is kind of a lie that the ninth year will tell you. so in a ninth year forward motion pauses right so alignment can catch up so people that in this phase then you're not behind you're in the transition and transitions um they're invisible and they don't look productive and they don't they don't look stable it's like you're confused as hell and you don't really know what's going on and finally reason seven the psychological toll, anxiety, avoidance, and burnout. Obviously, with all of the above, psychologically, this

year amplified anxiety, avoidant coping skills, emotional shutdown, burnout, hyper-independence, self-medication in use of substances boozing going insular or going out all the time like whatever it was you um yeah you got bumfucked on that level too it's obvious because of what I just said how everything I just of course you're going to end up like that after everyone's safety structure is pulled away or falls away, whether it was your decision or you received that decision made for you, whatever happens, the nervous system is in panic mode. So yeah, most people went into survival mode to try and deal with that. The numbing of everything, withdrawal, distractions, situationships, emotional walls, whatever made them feel a little bit fucking better

in that moment. Shit, innit? There we go. Seven fucking reasons. I'm so sorry to be the one to deliver this news, but I actually feel like hearing it from me and empathizing with each other, it makes us feel a bit better. It weren't just you. You didn't just have a terrible fucking year for no reason. There are so many reasons why, and it's explainable. And whilst I did suffer also, I fact, I'd go so far as to say this is one of my worst years in the last decade. Yeah, that's a strong claim, and it's true. Like I said, I still suffer daily from what I went through. I still struggle to wake up and not replay everything. I still struggle with repeat doctor's appointments, having to soldier on and pretend I'm fine when I'm not, having to

dive back into normal world again, stay focused on my job or start dating again when I don't have, I have nothing, like, I feel like a shell, you know, a shell of who I was. However, the final thought I guess I want to say is I'm going to kind of try and see this as a hidden gift right so the part of 2025 that we cannot see right now is it didn't ruin our lives it corrected the course it removed what drained us what delayed us what distracted us and what wasn't aligned so it's not like I know we all feel we were fucking punished it's more like we were just being prepared and yes it's a painful transitions aren't easy is it ask anyone who's gone sober transitioning from someone who loves alcohol to someone who's teetotal or any substance

abuse you know somebody's turned their life around or that it's the transitional part the withdrawal the going cold turkey, the changing, the changing routines, your habits, that's fucking hard. And that was basically the whole year for us. That's what 2025 did. Because what comes after a ninth year is a one year. 2026 is a first year of the cycle. And I'm so fucking excited. 2025 may have broke your heart, broke your confidence, broke your illusion of control, realigned your path changed the course of your life but it's also said to you what are you ready to release and even if you didn't want to release it it released it for you by making you live for it all anyway 2025 was your ending and 2026 will be your beginning and you've already survived

the hardest part how positive is that I'm finding silver linings so guys and girls let's kiss our ass goodbye to this year it's new year's eve in two days is it yeah and we are heading into 2026 please tune in next week because I'm going to also detail in a very similar fashion what 2026 as a year has in store for you. And I am very happy and I'm so pumped about next year. And I think after you tune into that episode, you will be too. So on that note, happy New Year's Eve this week. Let's kiss this year goodbye. Let's do what we need to do to heal, to change, to transform. And I can't wait to see you all in the new year. Thanks for listening to the Can't Keep My Mouth Shut podcast, produced and hosted by me,

Nick Salina. I'm recorded in the Splice Cast Studios in Singapore. I'm available to listen to on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google and all major podcast listening apps. Do subscribe to enjoy a new episode every Monday evening. Please do give me a five-star review. It helps other people also find my podcast. For more content and features to read, you can check out my website, nixalina.com. That's nixalina.com. I'm also on social media. Simply search at Nixalina, N-I-X-A-L-I-N-A, to find me. Don't be shy. Come say hi. Bye.