Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - "You're a 10 - Start Acting Like One."

Episode Date: May 19, 2025

​Energy over looks sis, always. With love, Nixalina. For more awesome content to read including beauty, fashion or dating & love features, please do head over to my digital platform www.nixalina.com. Don't be shy, come say hai! Head over to my Instagram or Tiktok @nixalina to slide into my DMs.

This podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships, sex, and love. It may not be suitable for younger listeners. This is the Can't Keep My Mouth Shut podcast, and I am Nick Salina. Hello, it's Nick Salina. Welcome back to me. Yay! Here's another episode of Can't Keep My Mouth Shut, and this is a very interesting one. And it's based on a conversation I had with a dude a wee while ago. And it is called, You're a 10, Start Acting Like One. So I'll set the scene for you.

We're with my girls, with my besties, sitting around having pints of beer, standard, on a night out, standard. And this guy joins us, getting in a conversation. And along the way, he comes out with this stellar line to me. you're a 10 start acting like one and it really fucking stuck with me and what we were the context of that throwaway comment we was talking about like dating history all of us you know at the time were single at the table and I was regaling some of my tales of woe as we all do when we're drinking, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he basically tells me this in the space of being like, oh, what the fuck are you doing? And he could tell by the way I was regaling my stories

and stuff that I kind of dropped a lot of confidence in myself. And I needed someone to kind of like bitch slap me with this statement for me to even get it again and this guy is a good-looking guy um yeah I think he's Australian I don't know fuck don't know I am such a good friend but yeah so let's talk about it because what happens and it's not just me, it's universal, is when you have a string of toxic relationships or men that cheat or men that lie. Sorry, interchangeable men and women. I'm going to have men go, oh, but my ex cheated. She's all, yeah, I know. Sorry. When you have partners, a string of partners that treat you badly, that maybe they belittle you on purpose. Maybe they literally talk down to you. Maybe they

just physically abuse you maybe they do both maybe they don't do any of that but they're cold they're just so cold maybe they just don't want to have sex with you anymore maybe you don't have any relationships you just have a string of back-to-back situationships that don't work out anything that's happened in your dating history that's not your confidence when it accumulates you don't realize the impact it actually has and for me my god 20s mid-20s nick salina in london she was a cannonball of energy of fire unstoppable like the confidence was through the roof i would say borderline arrogance actually she was a twat i fucking loved her but my god steamrolled into any room. Like I want that guy. I'm going to go home with that guy, this guy. And it's not all

about sex or whatever or sexual gratification and all that bollocks. But the confidence I had was unmatched. And over time, and it's not with age, I've mellowed down and really got introspective. It's with the bad treatment from partners. And I think the last one, the last serious relationship I had really stuck the knife in it was like the straw that broke the camel's back because he was purposefully nasty and cruel and emotionally abusive like he got off on it and he would make comments about how I look all the time and he was very destabilizing and you've heard about him before in all the other podcasts especially season nine so I won't go into it but he caused damage and whilst I'm so over that to have this guy say to me start acting

like the 10 that you are like what the fuck is going on really made me realize like fuck I've been seriously affected by the multitude of dudes in my life but more so more so and it's something that I'm really interested in and focused on is how people's energy elevate their appearance elevate their aura people's energy changes the attractiveness you can be absolutely stunning and your personality brings you down to like a two so I had um I had a date I won't go into details I'm not look I'm swerving all details of whether you know if I'm even in a relationship or not at this point at some point in the last year i had a date there you go and good looking motherfucker right good looking boy tattooed six foot two um british dressed well but my god the

chat did not exist the banter did not exist it was like fucking trying to get blood out of stone get in conversation sweet sweet man right like like husband material sweet I'm sure of it kind like complimentary but no sexual chemistry for me whatsoever immediately I knew within like 20 minutes like no I don't want to see this guy again because he wasn't acting in a way of what I envisioned he would act because he was acting like he was insecure. He was acting like he was shy. He was quiet. He wasn't comfortable. He wasn't comfortable around me. And his behavior and his demeanor completely affected how I saw him. And I realized this is what this guy is trying to get through to me is my not realizing or behaving like the 10 that he claims I am.

I'm not claiming I'm a 10. I'm saying he is affecting my energy and what I give out. And I just found that such an interesting concept because it's something I'd never thought of before because I have always been confident. I have always been outgoing. And look, you know, when I walk into a room, you know, I'm there instantly. But there's this energy beneath that of which is depicted by the hurt that I've lived through, depicted by the emotional abuse I've dealt with and it has got to me. And I don't anymore feel that mid-twenties confident. There's no actions that I can't complete. There's no repercussions to any of my actions. There's no man I can't have. There's nothing. All that, that's all gone. And I guess it's called maturity

and growth as well. And it also depends what you want in your life. Like, do you want a stable relationship which I do now like the next man that I gotta be careful here the next man I am with will be like the long term you know like he's the one that's it like there's no there's no nothing about him okay we'll leave that there um so yeah I guess it's a different mindset but the guy that said this to me wasn't even we weren't like it wasn't like he was cracking on to me or anything um so there was nothing there that was just a genuine statement and that's really why it sat with me as well because no one's like told me that so simple to my face you're a fucking 10 act like it mate because you ain't acting like one how do I say this I've lost

a little bit of my carefree give no fucks attitude and then when it comes to dating I come from a space of scarcity and lack or should I say I did I did come from that space and that scarcity and that lack and that like fuck me I keep having bad men after bad men and it's got to be mean I need to break the pattern and why is every man and ass all these days and why is the old romance of love that I was craving my whole life gone and why the fuck is social media ruined monogamy and does anyone ever just get married and not cheat and stay together and does anyone ever date and just date one person and not have to date 20 billion different people and that all swells up like the energy I have around had had around dating is a was a negative and that's where the I guess my

inner aura went from a 10 down to like a five. And I do realize there's a lot of people in my life who I've known that have that incredible energy where they just, you just want to be around them, men and women. And that's the thing. That's the 10 energy. Like no one, regardless if anyone says anything, I'm never going to let anyone hurt me in the way like you don't diminish who I am or my worth my worth is not depicted externally it's internally and all that jazz and that used to be what I thought I was but it looks like I'm not and that's like wow mind-blowing so yeah I just needed to get that off my chest and share it with you all because as you know what uh what goes through my head comes out in the microphone and into your ears

you're welcome so yeah let me know your thoughts do you feel like a 10 do you feel that you deserve to act in a different way but you're not do you just feel that your whole energy is also changed do you feel like dating has affected your energy or is it made it doesn't make you more feel like more of a 10 you know uh that's it really Share your thoughts with me, at Nixalina, N-I-X-A-L-I-N-A. And with that, I love you all and leave you all, and I look forward to seeing you all next week. Thanks for listening to the Can't Keep My Mouth Shut podcast,

produced and hosted by me, Nixalina. I'm recorded in the Splice Cast Studios in Singapore. I'm available to listen to on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, podcasts google and all major podcast listening apps do subscribe to enjoy a new episode every monday evening please do give me a five-star review it helps other people also find my podcast for more content and features to read you can check out my website nixalina.com that's nixalina.com i'm also on social media simply search at nixalina n-i-x-a-l-i-m-a to find me don't be shy come say hi