Chubby Behemoth - 44 - steven seagal at panda express w sam tallent

Episode Date: October 21, 2022

Swapcast with Cobos and Patrick Podcast.   you tellin me you're just gonna throw all that away?? subscribe to the patreon for exclusive video content and weekly bonus episodes at patreon.com/birthdaypiss https://linktr.ee/cobospatrickpodcast

Why is everyone bricked up right now? Why is everyone bricked up right now? Hello, welcome to Dateline. Today I am here with two criminals. One, dumb. The other, stupid. Who's the real victim? Me. Wait, you're neither one of those?

I don't know. That's fucking bullshit. I was free-balling. It's you and Sam are the retards. Damn, 28 seconds in, you already hit him with a retard. Spray him with the R. Damn, you don't need your fucking crutches to get out of that wheelchair, huh?

Come on in with new content, Pat. Cobos, we were listening to hot tunes on the drive here. What were you listening to?

We listened to Thumb War. We listened to fucking Anaphylactic Mudslide. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah. Jeremy and the Underpants Gang. What?

Yeah. Toad Mouth. We fucking have written all the hits, dude. Yeah, Plank Teeth. Yeah, yeah. Toad Mouth. We fucking have written all the hits, dude. Yeah, Plant Teeth. Yeah, yeah. Uh-huh. My other daughter's a carrot. Gourmet Sinner. Yeah, yeah. Top Ramen.

Bottom Shelf. Skull Basher. Did he destroy the inside of the car? No, no, because Pat kept turning it down. I'd be like, can you turn this up? And he'd be like, okay, fine. And then like three songs later, it's all the way down. Yeah, yeah. So he can call his mom. Well thinks yeah he thinks he's turning it up he doesn't have his left and right down yeah that's right his ups and his downs is that why it gets louder when i

turn it down yeah yeah i have tinnitus yeah dude yeah you're the avalanche gang fuck yeah listening to them oh yeah yeah wicker chair uh dude it was sick dude yeah we're listening to skeleton tome uh-huh oh yeah dude yeah man gargoyle piss yeah beach cunt key to the library some of the early stuff is good. Yeah, they kind of changed. Yeah, Broken Wheelchair. Uh-huh, yeah, Broken Wheelchair. Yeah. Yeah, Broken Side. That's who turned to Broken Wheelchair. Yeah. Broken Side's sister band.

Yeah, dude. That's punk as fuck. Pat kept playing bad stuff, and I was like, put on the fucking hits, dude. I played cool stuff. I wanted to hear Planet on the Turtle Shell. Yeah, that Native American band. Yeah, it's on the Turtle Shell. Yeah. You know? That Native American band. Yeah. It's all flute.

Yeah. Yeah. And you were like, there's not enough fucking bass guitar in this. And Sam's like, this is as DIY as it gets, bro. Yeah. It's just a man living inside of a trash can playing a flute. And you were like, oh, this isn't ceremony. I don't care.

Dude, ceremony rocks. You're like, it's a ceremony. Yeah, it's literally a wind ceremony. It's ceremonies. Yeah, it was trying to spread the seeds across the open plains. I don't like that magic stuff. Yeah. Yeah, dude.

I don't like that magic. How are you, Kobos? I'm doing all right, dude. Just hanging. You been listening to any bands? I've been listening to a lot. Have you been listening to Kimbo Slice Jr.? They're sick. They're right, dude. Just hanging. You been listening to any bands? I've been listening to a lot. Have you been listening to Kimbo Slice Jr.? They're sick.

They're sick, yeah. Yeah, Knockout Punk. Knockout Punk, yeah. I haven't gotten into Knockout Punk too much yet. Yeah, well, their songs were cool because they would always go up and just sucker punch a stranger. And they would get the guys on the concrete, like the shrieks he would make. They would put that on the song. Yeah, that's badass, dude.

Kind of like Grand Funk Railroad when they raped that girl. Did they really rape our word a girl? That's what I heard. Wait, they retarded her? Yeah. I won't say rape. I'll say retard, but I won't say... Don't mix them up. Yeah, dude.

Well, it's kind of like all astronauts are human, but not all humans are astronauts. All retardists rape, but not all rapists are retarded. Wait, wait, wait. We're not going to skip over the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Do you want to walk that back? All astronauts are human. All astronauts are human. But not all humans are astronauts.

Okay, sure. Yeah. So it turns out it's not the humans are astronauts. Okay, sure. So it turns out it's not the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Which is crazy because we've got three astronauts right here. Yeah, yeah. Yep. We're knowledge astronauts. We are looking for a higher power, and his name is Wisdom. No, I was literally on the moon, stupid, but you never want to talk about that.

Yeah, oh, yeah, let's talk about how Sam was on the moon. Yeah, yeah, I was literally on the moon, stupid, but you never want to talk about that. Yeah, oh yeah, let's talk about how Sam was on the moon. Yeah. I was on the Apollo mission. Damn. What was the most important thing you learned? Well, it was actually Apollo mission tortilla chips, so they sponsored me to go to space. That's cool. Yeah, and it was cool, and I was supposed

to drop queso on the moon because the whole, like, you know, the moon's made of cheese promotion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and i quesowed the moon but uh everyone else on that flight died and then i was trapped up there speedy gonzalez yeah the queso criminal mike james do you remember him no after the queso criminal mike james i don't know who that is. So he was this guy, and he actually pulled this huge heist of cheese in Old Mexico. What? Yeah, and that's what the Alamo was about, actually. I thought Mike James was a real guy.

No, dude. It's funny to come up with the queso criminal, and then the second part of it is Mike James. It's like your brain just stops yeah some honky traveled south yeah to go rob the cheese yeah you you robbed so much queso fresco mike james the queso criminal my rhymes are subliminal he died of gout uh yeah he did yeah well actually he got melted yeah they melted him down and then they spread him over tortillas that's what he wanted he was the first quesadilla yeah yeah that he invented quesadillas well no someone else did with his

body stupid he was dead he melted him part of the process yeah processed cheese american truly american yeah dude um so it was you speedy gonzalez mike james the case so criminal mike processed cheese. American. Truly American. Yeah, dude. So it was you, Speedy Gonzalez, Mike James, the queso criminal Mike James. It's like when you guys were in space there was that big problem because you opened the bag of chips and then the chips started floating everywhere and they went into the instruments.

I was like, I can't play my bass. Yeah, dude. The tuba. Tuba sounds funny in space. Yeah, dude. That'd be sick to put a bunch of fucking chips in a tuba and then go to space and be like, hey, does this sound weird? And then just a fucking bunch of chips.

Yeah, that'd be sick. That'd be so funny. Just a gag. Just a million dollar gag. It's like, so I spent the last 18 years of my life becoming an astronaut while also learning the tuba uh and now that i've been selected to go to space all my work has paid off you do it you go and they're like all right let's turn this thing around yeah i ruin it yeah dude did you get that on video they're like i didn't hit record what do you mean on video we're trying to keep

the space station afloat what are you talking talking about? I don't have time to make content for you. Astronauts don't know what content is. Oh, hold on. It's on boomerang. Turn it off on boomerang. Speedy Gonzales kept crawling in my mouth at night. It's really wet and nice in here. It's so fucking sleepy.

It's not wet, though. The humidity. Because up there, there's no humidity. Oh, it's dry. So when's not wet though the humidity because up there there's no humidity oh so when i was floating through space yeah i mean i had my tethers that kept me in my bunk and then just my mouth was open and there was a mouse in there what did he do in there he actually uh started a mlm in your mouth multi-level mouse party yeah and it And it was him and Tom or Jerry. I can never remember. Stuart.

Yeah, Stuart the mouse. Someone was telling me that Stuart Little in the book, he's just a little human that's mouse-sized. What? As long as people think you're stupid and they lie to you. Yeah. That's even more insane than the mouse part of it. Remember when that guy said that his favorite book

was if you give a mouse a wookie and you thought it was a star wars themed kids book and i was like pat don't let him do this to you dude i was like grateful dead themed kids looks are the worst we should shoot looks into space if they can crunch it up out there dude yeah it makes space a little crunchy i don't know you did that with the tortilla chips i did yeah yeah yeah i did i mean i'm it was bad like it was a whole incident and uh that was the first time they sent that japanese space mission up there and They didn't make it. Speedy Gonzalez, I heard,

had something to do with that, though. Speedy Gonzalez kept crawling in their noses. And he laid eggs in there. I don't know if you guys know this, mice lay eggs. In space? Not even in space, everywhere. And Speedy, we thought that he was a boy, but he was actually a girl mouse.

He laid a bunch of mouse eggs in those Japanese astronauts. It was bad. Yeah, dude. Well, isn't he also, he's also racist against Asians, right? No, no. Asians hate him. Oh, yeah. Because they think he's so tricky. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. They think he's, he was always getting accused of being tricky and sneaky in space. It's just because he's small. He's not trying to be tricky and sneaky. No. But the Japanese can't really pick up on that. Right. I thought it was just because he's small. He's not trying to be tricky and sneaky. But the Japanese can't really pick up on that. I thought it was just because he's Mexican. That too.

It turns out, and not a lot of people know this, he's actually El Salvadoran. Just the whole Warner Brothers, they fucking were racist and they mistypedcasted him. Yeah, but he was Salvadoran. His family survived the Civil War. Porky Pig's Mexican. Porky Pig, Honduran. Honduran? Yeah, it he was Salvadoran. His family survived the Civil War. Porky Pig's Mexican. Porky Pig, Honduran.

Honduran? Yeah, it's crazy. Porky Pig. Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah, you've been doing that around the house. I was shoehorning it into this bit. Oh, wow. You mean that thing you've been doing in your room alone,

but loud enough for me to hear? Yeah. I've been saying Porky Pig. I'm Porky Pig. I'm Porky Pig. He's just Porky Pig with a Mexican accent. It's like 9 a.m. I just got home from Skank Fest.

The first thing I hear, I'm Porky Pig. Please shut up. For once in your life, shut up. That's all, folks. Yeah. That's all, fuckers. It's Looney Tunes, fool.

Oh, shit. Biddy, biddy, biddy. Viva la raza. Fuckers. Now, Porky Pig never got a fair run. What do you mean? Did he get a starring role, or did he just come out at the end and say, that's all, folks? I don't know. I don't know.

That's a good question. I don't feel like I ever saw him in a prominent role. Finally a good question on this podcast. Yeah, dude. He plays a prominent role in Space Jam. Okay, that's true. Yeah. But I can't recall the cartoons.

Yeah. I never was a huge head for the Warner Brothers franchises. Me either. Really. Speedy was always trying to turn them into pork rinds. He was. Chicharrones. Yeah, chicharrones.

Yeah. Chicharrones. Flaming hot chicharrones. Yeah, Chicharrones. Chicharrones. Flaming hot Chicharrones. Don't turn me into Chicharrones, Speedy. I'm Porky the Pig. So this is just his room. This is what he's doing in there. It's true.

Yeah, you're nude, vaping, having fake conversations between Speedy Gonzalez and Porky Pig. But one of them is now Mexican. That's what our house has done to him. And then Emily comes home and he doesn't say a word for four hours. Emily comes home and he says, I was going to take out the trash, but I accidentally got trashed in the can. Sam let me out. Yeah, dude. Will you do cpr on me yeah yeah i got stuck in the

couch watching porky pig yeah emily's like i just worked 14 hours and you're like my knee hurts have you heard this the development no his knee hurts i have driver's knee yeah driver's knee from coming down here and sitting in the car too much? Yeah. Well, I've been driving back and forth a lot. Yeah. Because I'm an idiot. And my knee hurts. Yeah, if you just like planned out one day in Denver and knocked it

all out, you wouldn't have to come back and forth so much. Well, I mean... And then maybe last night at the end of that movie when I was literally trying to get slurped by my gorpon, then you come stumbling in because you didn't text the family group chat. I had my peen out on the couch. I figured I cock-blocked you guys.

Could you read that? She was in satin pajamas. She was. And you were drinking wine out of a canter. Yes, we were. I did, and I felt really bad. We just watched a scary movie. Did you get slurped later i was i i was hitting my erect penis on the top of my wife's head doing a bit

where i pretended like i was looking out the window on the couch and she was like what are you doing i was gonna sing what's out there and then i would hit her in the head with my dick and she was like oh is pat coming home and i was like no he would for sure let us know i will and then he comes in and he sees your erect penis and he goes i'm porky pig yeah yeah you came in last night and i was i was like this i had my shirt pulled over my peen and then as we went upstairs you said i hope i didn't interrupt date night and i was like no we're good do you guys no, we're good. Do you guys need anything?

We're good here. Do you want me to bring you anything up there? No, we're fine. I'm just going to go tuck her in. You want anything? You want some candles, some flowers, a third? If you fucked my wife, I would kill myself. No, she's my mom.

No. She's my mom. Lund joked about it. He said, Pat's going to fuck your wife. And I said, if he does, I would just kill myself. I would never. I love that Lund is pushing that narrative now. Well, Lund needs something exciting.

Lund's mentally ill. Yeah, dude. Well, he just lives in a place where all he has is his thoughts. He's just going to send you weird shit. And most of his thoughts are meow, meow, meow, meow. And then he goes and bartends for a bunch of people he doesn't even like. Yeah. And it just makes him grumpy.

Sober bartending. Dude. God, what a life. Yeah. All to live for $150 a month or whatever it is. I know. Yeah. He lives like a king down there.

Yeah. By the time he has gout and he's inbred. Got his ass shut up i don't bully you at all you said i bullied you when we got in here i barely bully you just a little bit i should be bullying you so much more i think it's a good amount of bullying yeah i know you do because you're a little bitch i saw you guys's pumpkin shirts picture so funny thank you awesome we are in walmart we're walking through walmart and walk I saw you guys' pumpkin shirts picture. So funny. Thank you. That was awesome.

We were in Walmart. We were walking through Walmart. I think you saw them. Of course I did. They were like, oh, and they had our big fat guy sizes. Dude, hell yeah. We got two 3Xs and then one medium for my wife, and we came in wearing them. She did not want to put it on.

She did not put hers on. That's so funny, dude. I know i know i was like this was a 21 bit yeah yeah they were really itchy shirts too she's like well you just did the million dollar bit in space yeah tuba you've been gone for 16 months i had to ride with you as you learn to be an astronaut and also play the tuba so i'm sorry if i didn't put your shirt on immediately yeah for a 30 second video clip yeah we didn't even take a video no we didn't we took a photo yeah maybe you could fit into the other shirt i'll i'll write us a little pumpkin bit we could do yeah he could have yeah dude pumpkin bit pumpkin yeah wear them for stick or treat dude yeah you could are you on that no

no no i don't know what i'm doing yet i don't know i don't know all right well there's only a show too and i was like i don't know fucking like uh that uh the humor underground the humor underground what the fuck is that matthew you didn't know yeah dude no i don't know about the humor underground believe it or not that hasn't reached me in space what's the guy's full name i don't fucking remember his name full name is it is it it's not mike james is it has he surfaced because he did go underground for a while yeah dude and he didn't believe in humor yeah where's the humor underground it's some like backyard that started during the pandemic and it has continued going. And apparently there's fun shows there and shit.

Who told you that? Garrett Nygren? They did like a fucking... Yeah, I know. Garrett N-word. We call him Garrett N-word on here. No, they did a don't tell show there. Okay, that's fine.

That's good. Oh, BK. Wow. He's got his finger in every pot. Yeah, dude. Wait, so they can't even book their own shows? They have to get Don't Tell to book their shows at the Humor Underground? Well, no, they have shows every weekend there,

and they do Don't Tell sometimes. That's weird. Yeah, but the worst part is that he wears his own merch all the time, and it says Thug, T-H-U-G, for the Humor Underground. I want to hate it, but I can't really. That's Tony Hawk underground. Oh, shit. That's Tony Hawk underground.

Oh, shit. He's biting the Hawk man? Dude, he's stealing Birdman valor. We got to get Jason Ellis to go beat the fuck out of this kid in his house. Who's Jason Ellis? Jason Ellis, he was a skateboarder who now fights people. He had like a skank fest adjacent situation where they had a boxing room set up downstairs. And just like around the clock, there'd be different kinds of fights.

That's insane. Just get your testosterone. So they're just getting double brain damage down there. Like Tim Butterly is the dog and he did dad meat and then immediately went downstairs and put on a pinata suit. And then there was this like fight where there was three guys defending him. And then there was four dudes on the other team. And it was the job of the four dudes to knock him out. It was to break open the pinata.

So Butterly went from getting his... It was stoner dads. He got fucked up in stoner dads. Went downstairs, put on the pinata suit. And then just wailed on dudes for like five rounds. That's nuts. That's fucking legendary, dude. That's insane.

This guy's a man he never got knocked out no dude he was fucking doling it out too he took a bunch of punches man yeah and then jason ellis would like come over and like pull a guy off of him punch that guy in the face and then meanwhile while he's punching that guy in the face two guys are beating the fuck out of butterly holy shit his wife was crying it It was fucking crazy. Holy shit. A blind guy got sucked off on stage. Yeah. What? Yeah.

That's true, too? Yeah, this blind kid, they brought this woman up, and he described her as the Washington Redskins logo. That's how he described she looked like. No, no. He said she looked like Troy Polamalu. Holy shit. The blind guy? Yeah, he was like, well, I guess he has sight within 18 inches or whatever. And he was like, yeah, she didn't even have a sucked dick. And I was like, i guess he is like he has like sight within like 18 inches or

whatever and he was like yeah she didn't even know how to suck dick and i was like what the fuck are you talking about you've never been slurped this was his dick virginity yeah dude yeah so i was just like pissed at him right away he said she didn't know how yeah he was like she sucked dick and we were all like what are you you need to fucking slow down young man on stage yeah at legion of Skanks. What the fuck? Yeah, at Skank Fest. And then he went home and tried to pound her in her hotel room,

and he couldn't nut. Yeah, yeah, dude. It's like, it's not good enough. Sorry. I know. He was all stressed. He's like, I couldn't come on stage. And it's like, that was an alien experience to anyone.

Yeah, totally. Totally. I mean, that whole festival was just like the weirdest shit I've ever seen like we were on mushrooms and it was like me and mike feeney and mike cannon and we were in the green room and this guy came in who had like fake legs but the legs looked like uh like an ashtray like a long like like butt pole you know what i mean okay and he came in and he was like yeah i uh i lost my legs in a train wreck and we were like what excuse me and he's like yeah check it out and he fucking pulls his fake leg off revealing his stump and we're all on mushrooms and we were like dude you can't just stump surprise people

you can't dump the stump without warning and we bailed as he was in there trying to show Eddie Pepitone his fucking stump leg. Holy shit. To dump the stump. Dude, that would fuck me up if I was tripping too hard. I hated it so much. Yeah, dude. We just bailed. We bailed and went and watched the rapper Jelly Roll perform. What?

Like Nate Diaz and Jelly Roll were just like chilling at Skank Fest, dude. What the fuck it was crazy it's so insane the whole thing was mental i tried to tell all this cool stuff to london r pod and he was like i had to have drywall put into my house and i was like no let me talk shut up lond we'll get to the fucking riveting story of you getting drywall put in after i get through this awesome shit but no london's just punching holes in his drywall for fun now to clean him up to put to patch him up yeah dude he's like

i need to do something jesus getting boring around there i had to fucking get some drywall put in dude i was the blind kid like concerned that they would put it that they would have a guy blow suck him off no no no because again he can see within like he can like see within 18 inches okay um but like he was very concerned that it made him gay and he was spiraling he's like maybe this makes me gay and we were like no dude like you just got yeah like fucking queen skank came up and tried to you in front of a bunch of juggalo adjacent human beings. Yeah. Why does he why does he think that makes him gay because he

got hard. No it was a girl who did it and he couldn't get hard. No he couldn't come. But also you know this kid has like fucking death grip dick because he's been jerking off to porn every day of his life.

Totally. Totally dude. Yeah. What do you think a blind man spank bank. It's more like a spank record like it's just sounds. Iank bank? It's more like a spank record? Like it's just sounds? Feelings?

It's braille. Yeah. It's braille. Next question. Yeah. What are you doing? The boobs were huge. Yeah.

Nice. She was wet. So it's just words. Yeah. They're just kidding. Their spank bank is words. Yeah. Her holes were agape Nice

Nice There were so many blind people At Skank Fest Dude It was crazy I know What is happening And also there was a girl there

In a wheelchair And she would get in the front of the line For all the shows Because she was in a wheelchair Okay And then as soon as she got in the room She'd be like up Like dancing to that To the damn comedy jam She was f faking it she was faking it to get in line

no but no one call her out then the last show i did are you garbage i was like you've been faking it all weekend a bunch of people were like yeah she has that's so funny it was crazy yeah that's so funny yeah dude. It's good for her, honestly. Dude, that's the most skank fest shit I can think of. To fake being in a wheelchair to get in first all the time. She's such a swindling carny. Yeah. It was smart.

Steve-O bombed a bunch. Steve-O did a crowd work show and the whole thing he was trying to do was like, Hey, all right, everyone, take your dicks out. Everyone was like, no. He was like, no, do it. Take your out dicks out. No, what? They were like, we don't was like, no. He was like, no, do it. Take your out dicks out. No, what? They were like, we don't want to, Steve-O.

He was like, do it. Come on. And then two guys stood up and pulled their dicks out. And he was like, all right, yeah. What? No one liked it. That is insane. And then he bent over and showed his butthole.

And then he still had like eight minutes he had to do. What? This was the first two minutes. Yeah. So after both those things, just walking around, he's like, what else? Yeah, exactly. still had like eight minutes he had to do like this was the first two minutes yeah so yeah so after both those things just walking around he's like what else yeah exactly you guys remember wild boys is anyone dating you guys meet on tinder yeah like we just saw your dick and your butthole steve-o yeah you gotta ramp up to this but i think he thought that everyone was gonna

fucking hang hog for steve-o yeah and they did not of course it's comedy nerds and they know he's not a comedian yeah exactly it sounds like there was a lot of hog showing at this though i saw more hog than i did female nip yeah that's for sure yeah yeah there was a lady walking around who had like long saggy ones which was cool yeah and like she had like a like a belly shirt on and you could just like see her nipple, but not any boob. It was like her fucking tits were pointing directly down. That's so funny. Yeah. It looked a lot like that guy's fake legs, honestly.

She like hangs them over over sand and they like draw those lines. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. She was doing Indian sand painting with her fucking pendulous breasts. Yeah. I saw like I saw Colm Tyrell's dick. Dude. Nice.

Yeah, I saw Steve-O's dick. What the fuck, dude? Well, I've seen Steve-O's dick. And the show that Steve-O did, the crowd work show, was like a great crowd work show. And Nick Vatterot was on it, like a bunch of great crowd work comics. And they had Joe DeRosa in the crowd with a microphone so he'd go around and like try and find interesting stuff in the crowd that you could riff on yeah that's great like uh this guy has an eyepatch or like this guy's from australia yeah so like while steve-o was like not getting

in to whip their dicks out like joe de rosa's in the crowd being like hey uh this guy's wearing a beret and steve-o was like shut up joe like being rude to jodorowska yeah it was crazy it was just it was like it was it was the craziest thing i've ever seen was that whole festival yeah dude yeah yeah shout out skank fest that's insane dude yeah it's so funny that vegas i i didn't think that even vegas would allow like like keep your dicks in your fucking pants. So the weird thing was is that where it took place was at the top of this, like, complex on Fremont Street. And there was, like, an axe-throwing bar and a Dick's Last Resort below.

Okay. And, like, not a lot going on. But then upstairs was just, like, crawling with goons and mutants. Okay. And it really felt like an autonomous zone because no one knew what we were doing up there. Yeah. Like, the owner of this place came i guess on friday uh tell told me this he was like yeah he came up here and he's like what the fuck's going on up here i've never seen this many people and he was just like walking around confused and he like walks into one room and

it's like annie letterman like you know like doing something crazy and then she walks to another room and it's like big jay singing Evanescence and he's like, what the fuck did I rent this thing out to? Can you imagine not knowing that you rented your building to Skankfest? That's incredible. They proudly didn't have insurance.

Luis Gomez said that a bunch. He's like, this is an uninsured event. Everyone was like, oh yeah. That's crazy, dude. What the fuck, dude? The escalators kept collapsing. bunch he's like this is an uninsured event everyone was like oh yeah yeah yeah dude the escalators kept collapsing yeah like the escalators like twice like fucking like the the stairs like caved in i did very good i did i didn't i quit taking the escalators after a while there's definitely some fat people there who like saw the escalators didn't work and just didn't go to Skank Fest.

Well, I flew in from fucking Boise, but... The moving sidewalk's not moving. I ain't moving. They walk up, they see it, and they turn around. They're like, two tickets. I got two tickets. We'll sell them for a heart attack grill gift card. Yeah, dude.

People kept trying to get this guy, H. Foley, who does Are You Garbage, to get on the heart attack grill scale. Is he a honker? Yeah, he's a big dude. And the first couple times he joked about it, the third time he was like, everybody shut up. That's such a fucking mean thing to say to a guy you don't

know. Fans would come up and be like, Foley, you got on the scale yet? And he'd be like, who taught you to say to a guy you don't know like fans would come up and be like foley you got on the scale yet and be like why do you what are you why what who taught you to talk to people this way and they were like oh i'm so sorry support the patreon that's fatty dude the fucking uh we were like goofing with the tables it was like the rb garbage guys me tommy pope and chris o'connor And we're like having a blast. We're laughing. And the pit boss is laughing. And then at some point he walks up and he points at me and Foley and he says, must be tough playing blackjack with them because they keep eating the chips.

And Foley was like, what are you doing, man? Like, we're fucking spending hundreds of dollars over here. You're going to come up and you're going to be mean to us? And the guy was like, all right. Just walked away. Like, fully. He's like, I'll take it from them, but I don't need it from you. That's so funny, dude.

People just, like, think they can be mean to people because they hear them take it on podcasts. Totally. Yeah. They think that, yeah, you listen to it enough and you think, like, you're friends with them. It's assumed familiarity. Yeah, totally. Totally. Parasocial relationship. Yeah, for sure. Yeah sure yeah dude nick mullen's five foot four that was

crazy yeah meeting him would be weird because i've listened to come town a lot and it'd just be like this is weird i feel like i know everything about you that's wild yeah yeah he was just here. He just sold out Comedy Works, too. Mullen did? Yeah. Mullen did? Mm-hmm. Are you sure? I don't even know that. I'm almost positive.

On Sunday, he had like a one-night Sunday. This Sunday? I think it was last Sunday. Okay. Huh. Yeah. There you go. Nice.

Yeah. Yeah, dude. Yeah, Mullen's like in a weird position because clubs just give him like cancellation dates like two weeks he'll just like get hit up like can you do like acme in minnesota this weekend and then he posts it and they sell out crazy because he just has that like he didn't he didn't have an agent until like earlier this year because i didn't realize the scope of cum town okay yeah yeah well it gets people to see the name and they're like, no. Right. Yeah, totally. And they have three million cummies or whatever their fucking fans are called.

They're not called that. They're for sure not called cummies, Cubos. No one admits to listening to Cumtown, so there aren't any Cumtown fans. Yeah. It's just Patrick and his friend Jack. Yeah, yeah, totally. Retard. Is Jack listening to this?

Is he busy printing on gilded blanks? He might listen to it. Who cares? Shut up, Jack. Jack, you bitch. Yeah, dude. Mag, you bitch. I'm going to see Jack in a little bit. I'm going to New York. Yeah, dude. That you bitch I'm gonna see Jack in a little bit I'm going to New York Yeah, dude

That's gonna be rad Yeah, it's gonna be fun Are you staying with Jack? Yeah Yes, I am Hell yeah You gonna meet Pizza Rat? I'm gonna meet Pizza Rat

I'm gonna teach him how to play drums I'm gonna get him a little drum set Sick And then we're gonna play jazz on the subway station Especially Pizza Rat was part of that team it was supposed to go space with me yeah yeah what happened to him he tested positive oh i forgot it happened during covid no no it was for drugs what drugs ketamine damn he was in a k-hole but it was actually because for to treat his ptsd oh respect. Yeah. Is he a vet?

Yeah. From all the backlash on the internet. Damn. The only vet I know that has to go to the vet. Thank you. That's the pod. Wind it down, boys. Let's sit in silence for the second half.

Yeah, dude. I was like stunned that it made sense. You shocked me into silence. God, I wish they would let us go into space. Just let us fucking normal dudes. Can you imagine us

floating around like detaching each other's air tubes and farting around and I'm like detaching them. I fucking got you, dude. Vaping in our helmets.

I think my body wouldn't be able to handle the G-force. Yeah, seeing your guys' helmets with floating elf bars in them, dude. Well, where else would we keep them? Yeah. Duck almost. You have to pull your arms in your shirt like a little kid. Or just spin it with your tongue until you grab it. I don't want to go to space so bad now.

Yeah, dude. What if you feel your balls floating? That'd be wild. I would love that. Like when you're in a warm pool. Yeah. They finally come out. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, nude in a hot tub, man. The fucking eggs are boiling. There's a pool in Vail? A hot tub? I don't know, dude. He told me to bring a swimsuit. Yeah.

And to tell you guys to bring swimsuits. You're going to get there and there's no body of water. And he's like, all right, get your swimsuits on. You're like, why? Yeah, and then he just like has a hose. And he's like. Like in Billy Madison. why yeah he just like has a hose and he's like like in billy madison stop it mister are you okay i don't even know you please that seems so fun is that norm uh no it's some some uh it's the other fat guy who was supposed to be arty i think

yeah but yeah it was a different fat guy yeah yeah yeah yeah it's so fun norm was a sidekick in that film yeah dude yep where's billy yeah dude yeah we're going up to fucking mark masters to do veil oh that's who you're going with i was wondering who you're going we're not going with him no we're going up to fucking Mark Masters to do Veil. Oh, that's who you're going with. I was wondering who you were going with. We're not going with him. No, we're going with Austin Black. Take a ride with him. I'm driving up there.

He lives there. Oh, he does? Yeah. I didn't fucking know that. Well, I don't think he wants anyone to know that. Yeah, yeah. I just want to find out his real name. Yeah, I mean, I don't want to.

Mark's a fine guy. He's just very very uh ambitious yeah yeah and tries very hard and like the show was sold out and he's like hey will you do an interview with the veil paper i was like but there's no tickets he's like yeah but it'd be good for the show it's like what yeah fuck i sat down and wrote out a bunch of like really good answers and the paper used like three of them oh of course of course dude yeah yeah yesterday i did an interview with this and i'm in savannah next weekend savannah georgia and i was on my bike because i was doing the interview and like halfway through it i was like by the way like i'm on my bike so i'm sorry i've been breathing heavy and she was like okay what a relief so i was just like so i started i did

improv first yeah i think this dude's fucking is this guy jerking off while he's talking about himself what a fucking king yeah she just starts fingers i was like are you riding your bike too He's like I'm riding a Sibian Em I think I just accidentally had phone sex Yeah fuck Emi Hey Emi Pat wanted to tell you that he's

Porky Pig I call her in the middle of surgery I'm Porky Pig. She's like, very good, Patrick. Tell her I did the accent. She accidentally hits speakerphone and drops it in the body. It just echoes through the rib cage. Look, I'm inside of someone.

Yeah, dude. You're Porky Pig. Just sew the phone up in there. She's got to want this. Porky Pig. That's so funny. Dude, it's funny, but I've heard it like... He didn't tell...

He wasn't like, hey he wasn't like hey is this funny or check this out he's just in there like i'm porky p just flipping through youtube videos yeah yeah well i do pretty much he's watching like two guys one hammer i'm porky b i just i'm just using the air fryer all the time you are and you're frying chicken in there despite us not eating any meat. Yeah, I asked, and you said it was cool. Because I didn't want to be rude, but maybe put some aluminum foil in there. I don't know how air fryers work.

Oh, yeah, you don't know anything, do you? Because you're Porky Pig. I'm just a cartoon pig. I don't know anything. From Honduras. Yeah. With a Mexican accent. Yeah. I don't know anything. From Honduras. Yeah. With a Mexican accent. Yeah.

I am Porky Pig. Dude, how about that McAfee? All those fucking people in Belize were just doing Jamaican voice. Yeah, though. Do you know about these Belesians? No. Yeah, they're like, oh, yeah, do the accent. Why do I have to do it?

Because I'm not good at it. Bumbeclot. They would say that on the news. What's up, Red Stripe Yeah, the news man It was like, oh, the Rastaman, I and I We're coming to you live from John McAfee's mansion, mate You know it's always fuck Babylon

Yeah Welcome to Belize, boy Yeah Like the weather today going to be a real rude mother Send it down to Joe, who the DJ man going to be a real rude mother. Send it down to Joe with a DJ man. Send it down to Porky Pig. What's up?

Hey, the Porky Man, tell us what's going on with the cricket team of Belize, man. The cricketeers are doing well in their division. Hey, I and I, thank you for weighing in the porky pig. John McAfee killed his neighbor, man. That shit was nuts.

Have you seen that documentary? No. About McAfee, you know much about him? Not a ton. He's an antivirus guy. He's nuts. He was nuts. I didn't know he was living in Belize. Dude, he was just on yachts drinking fucking handles of whiskey and doing bath salts.

Dude. And there was just an armory of guns. He's always had guns on him as he's doing bath salts with prostitutes. What the fuck? It's pretty sick. And he marries the prostitutes, too. I forgot that part. Yeah.

That's insane. And at the very end, one of the prostitutes is like, he's alive. Yeah. He gave me a call a the very end, one of the prostitutes is like, he's alive. Yeah. He gave me a call a couple weeks ago. What the fuck? He killed his dad when he was 17 and made it look like a suicide. Because his dad was tuning up his mommy. Yeah.

Holy shit. And then he did it again to his fucking neighbor. Yeah, because his neighbor poisoned his dogs. Holy fuck, dude. Yeah. He's wild stuff. This is insane. and that was the second while this documentary watched last night oh yeah we watched a fucking 40 minute documentary

about people doing rubik's cubes yeah yeah what yeah it was not. Dude. Did Pat get good at it right away just from watching? I wish. No. There's no cubes in the house. Yeah. We have a cube-free house. Dude. I mean, so it's like an autistic Asian dude and then like an Australian dude who's fairly

normal. And they have a friendship and they keep breaking each other's records or whatever. But at one point, like very early in the documentary and it set the bar impossibly high there was like a fucking 12 year old asian kid with big glasses and jimmy neutron hair okay and he just comes out of nowhere and he's wearing a shirt that says wild feminist i couldn't stop laughing yeah it's like three minutes of laughter we had to rewind yeah wild feminine just for a kid that young to be wearing that he was so young yeah like he didn't buy that shirt yeah you don't have to be a feminist yet yeah you're still allowed to be bad you don't have to be thinking about you're little boy. Yeah, you're still allowed to be bad. You don't have to be thinking about this.

You're in prime misogyny years. You're 12. You're Asian. Let it go. Have some fun. You got pompadour? Dude, yeah. You're homecoming.

Yeah. I don't want to be racist. He's American, dog. Misogyny lives here. Yeah. Yeah. Home Depot. Misogyny lives here.

Yeah, the wild feminist appeared. Little Pokemon. Did they play the opening riff to Bad to the Bone? No, they were playing some bullshit Rubik's Cube music. It was beeps and boops. We were

two minutes into the documentary and Pat was like, I'm going to go to bed. I was like, yeah, this kind of sucks. And then wild feminist showed up 38 minutes later. We were like, that wasn't that bad it was cute they were had such a cute friendship it was cute yeah because they were like this oh no the australian guy was a little older but the the autistic kid he looked up to him he was like 17 but he had like the mind of a child yeah yeah and he really looked up to him was that the asian kid yeah the asian kid yeah he had a man's body in the mind of a child okay why are

you looking at me in the shirt of a strong woman yeah i wonder what that's like patrick i don't know why don't you weigh in why don't you i bet that autistic kid was just laying in his bed playing with rickus Cubes going, I'm working. Calling his mom in. She's like, very good. It's good. She goes in the next room and cries. She comes in and he's listening to our podcast.

The dad just kept being like, I hope one day he's normal. Holy shit. He was saying some weird shit. His dad was trying to optimize his boy. Dude. He was talking about his son like he was an app. Yeah. You just accept him as he is. Jesus Christ.

He kept talking about his son's metadata. Well, they brought the kid home, and they were like, yeah. And then we got some tests, and it turns out he's incapable of love. So we came home, and we put him in his pod pod and threw him his Rubik's Cube. And then we went to the next room and we cried. Let him listen to Kimbo Slice Jr. Yeah. Uh-huh.

Yeah. And after about two hours of crying, we decided, well, we're going to cry now. But we still have to parent. It's like, yeah, no shit. Jesus. What else is there? Yeah. What are you going to do?

Abort him? Yeah. You can't take him to the fucking fire station. Yeah, dude. Yeah. It was nuts. It was insane, dude. It was crazy.

Asian parents are different. Well, yeah. They want them all to be fucking the smartest people on the planet. Yeah. Yeah. They're not all going to be. Yeah. Being happy, overrated.

Is being happy overrated? Is having fun overrated? No. Yeah, yeah. No. You're listening to Kobo's Patrick Podcast. Working hard is gay and having fun is cool. Yeah.

And saying retard is okay. Spray the R. You're going to love it. Kobo's Patrick Podcast. Spray the R. You're going to love it. Taste the retard. It's the R. You're going to love it. Taste the retard. It's the Skittles logo.

You guys should, you should co-op wild feminist kid and make him like a t-shirt. Totally. Wild artist. Can we send you shirts? Spray the R. Spray the R. Holy shit.

I love it. EA Sports. Spray the R. Yeah, dude. EA Sports. Spray the R. Yeah, dude. EA Sports. Hit your wife. Yeah, dude. EA Sports. I'm Porky Pig.

That was perfect. I'm Porky Pig. That's the last one you get. Okay. I will abide by that because you put me on two cool shows today and tomorrow. We have that nanny cam in your room, and if we hear you... What? Oh, I wasn't... What? No. I wasn't supposed to bring that up.

Oh, no. You've been seeing all the midnight McDonald's I've been eating? Why do you think they keep knocking on the door when they hear you crying in there? Yeah. We actually haven't been watching but we've been live streaming it. Sick. I've been getting a lot of... It's on livechodes.org. It's just a bunch of guys like you.

.corgi? It's on choderbait.org. It's just a bunch of guys like you..corgi? It's on choderbait.org. Yeah, choderbait. I thought you said.corgi. No, no. You're just really hungry. Yeah, I do eat corgis. If you're thinking of delicious dogs, you can stop.

I ate another corgi today. It's the big fat guy walking to the park and stealing corgis. I ate another corgi today. Yum, yum, yum, yum. Need one of them shorties. I don't like the legs, so I eat a corgi. Holy shit. In the space station with a floating corgi. S shit. In the space station

with a floating corgi. Sucking its dick. Wait, the corgi's sucking its own dick or we're sucking the corgi's dick? You're sucking the corgi's dick because we're not in space. You're Speedy Gonzalez. Or Mike James.

Yeah. The queso criminal Mike James. I can't wait to see that documentary. Give me all your craft singles. Nobody gets hurt. I'm sick of this powdery cheese. I want the good stuff. All right, I'm all stocked up on Velveeta.

Now all I need is some Rotel. Back to the outlaw camp. I want to make queso for the outlaw, Mike James Jr. Mike James Jr.? Yeah, it's his son. He sounds like a wide receiver. Finds like a map. Yeah.

The X. Oh, dude, at Skank Fest on Thursday night, they were like, we have a huge surprise guest. And the guest was Everlast. No, what? Yeah. And like I was watching the show with I think Tim Butterly and I was like, oh, wow, Everlast, huh? And then the crowd was like, no way. Everlast.

Yes. I can't no way! Everlast! Yes! I can't believe it's Everlast! They totally get me! What? I would swallow my pride, I would take an iron on the D6. You stupid piece of shit. What's the man? We've all seen the man at the liquor store begging for your change. Oh, Everclear. Yeah, dude. We don't know what it's insane. No. What's the man? We've all seen the man at the liquor store begging for your change.

Oh, Everclear. Yeah, dude. We don't know what it's like to be Porky P. Don't know what it's like. What it's like. We've all seen the man at the liquor store with a huge ass hog. Yeah. People were losing it for Everlast.

That's the kind of people who were there. That's insane. Adult men who were stoked unironically for everlast and also like i think most of his songs are uncle cracker like whenever i think of everlast i actually think of uncle cracker yeah yeah yeah totally dude i did a show recently and i was asking people in the crowd their karaoke song and this guy said oh usually uncle cracker and i could not get i kept going to him i couldn't stop thinking about uncle cracker but most of the crowd did not know who uncle cracker was yeah of course and i could but i it kept popping in my head what's the

uncle cracker song right and i'm singing talk you in at night and if you follow me i'll guarantee you don't need nobody else but me or something along those lines yeah i think that's right he also did a cover of dude if cracker was there they would have rioted yeah. They would have torn that place to the ground. Follow me, my whole crowd is white. Put this on as you beat your wife. Your kid's interracial, probably. And I know that because you're listening to me. Yeah. How's your job at the auto parts store?

Don't forget to leave the back door unlocked. Damn it. To unlock the back door. I saw your daughter. She's a whore. Dressed like a whore. Uncle Cracker. Kid Rock launched a lot of people.

Yeah, he launched that little midget guy. He actually ran the rocket launch when I went to space. Oh, yeah. He did. It's time to send mice. Yeah, I was in that. Yeah, I was in that. Remember, I was in the mice. Was it true that Speedy Gonzalez was being a hater?

He's like, I could go faster than this. Yeah, he did say that a lot. But I was so scared the whole time. I was just rubbing my rosary and blocking him out. You had your rosary hanging on the outside of your space suit it keeps floating off you have to keep grabbing it and pulling it down god keeps trying to take my rosary dude you did catechism in space is that what it's called catechism

what's catechism confirmation catechism cath What's catechism? Confirmation, catechism. Catholic shit? Catholic rituals. Oh, okay. Where you're a kid and they touch you? Yeah. Cool. Oh, yeah, dude. You trying to shake Odie? Yeah. Last night,

of course, I had a bunch of delicious vegan meal and then I was farting a lot while we watched those movies. And after I fart, I go, oh, no! Gets me every time. Oh, help! meal and then i was farting a lot while we watched those movies yeah and after i fart i go oh no it gets me every time oh hell it gets me every time i love doing that shit too i'm like oh no yeah oh god i wish i could cry in demand if you could rip a wet fart and then just like gently start sobbing we should make that a video. That's a good video. That's a video.

Yeah, a guy who's like, oh, whoops. Oh, stinky. Sorry. And then just like, just like tearing up. I'm so sorry. Don't tell anybody. I'm wet on. Don't tell anybody.

I'm wet on the top and the bottom. Oh, stop, stop. Oh, no. Keeps happening. I need to wipe my tears. I can't get up. Can I drop my pants off your balcony? Is this couch returnable?

Do you have a garbage disposal? Is your dog dead? This couch was a rental. We have to throw your dog away. I shit on him. You can't come back. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh, God. I'm so embarrassed. I'm so sorry. I'm going to lose my job, aren't I? Holy shit. You're going to take your kids away. Oh, God. I'm going to lose my apartment.

It's like a couple's dinner. Yeah. It's a kid's birthday party. Yeah. He just keeps farting. And then, like, one isn't wet, and he's like, oh, okay. All right.

That's better. Oh. We're back on track. Oh, no. Good God. Why? I knew I shouldn't have left the church. I never even wanted to be born. Why did you give me that queso, Mike?

I love to watch a man eat queso. I stole it, you eat it. Mike James, why do you keep showing off? So good. Why did you work so hard on the first part of your name? But your name's Mike James, the second part? I don't know. I was just born this way.

Yeah. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Is that better? Everybody calm down. It's not that big of a deal. It's okay. We've all been there. We've all popped a wet one and then started crying.

Hey, buddy, you want to wear my poncho? I would love that, Mike. Yeah, there we go. He puts the poncho on, and then you see he like, and then the poncho blows up in the back. Everybody sees his butt, his poopy butt. Oh, wait. Oh, God. When I put the poncho on, I forgot I took my pants off for some reason.

Now everyone can see how poopy my butt is. Oh, my God. Oh, God. He gets a shovel and starts digging. I'll be in here. I'll be in my house. I'm going to get deported. I'll be in my house I'm gonna get deported

That's good He dig his own grave Tonight on Dateline A man shit himself to death He's under a mound of dirt You just see the fucking It bubble up Like a lava flow.

Yeah, dude. Are you crying underground? Yeah, dude. Hold on, we gotta put a tube down there so you can breathe. And we're like, oh, it stinks so bad. Oh, my God. That's the origin story of that guy that sits at the bottom of the porta potty in Boulder

in the yoga festival. Yeah, dude. That's that guy's origin story. Yeah, dude. Yeah. He was shamed into living in the porta potties. Yeah. That sucks.

That guy ruled, though, dude. I guess I'm down here. It doesn't matter if I shit myself. Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah. Look at that shitty pussy. God damn, that at that shitty pussy. God damn, that's a shitty pussy.

He's smoking a cigar down there. Come climb down here, girl. That's a nice pussy. Jesus. Let me eat the pubes off that pussy. Holy shit. Yeah, dude. It's a go-to.

You ever seen that? And then Bo Diddley's like, get out of here. That's my territory. Was it Bo Diddley? No, it was not Bo Diddley. It was Chuck Berry. Oh, Chuck Berry. Yeah.

Racist. Shit. No, no. You can't tell me apart from him. Honest mistake. I don't know how Bo Diddley sounded. No, no. You can't tell me apart from him. Honest mistake. I was thinking. Not how Bo Diddley sounded. This is Bo Diddley.

Bo Diddley. Hell yeah. More like Chuck Dingleberry, you know, dude? Hell yeah. That's the part. I got to take off, guys. Yeah, dude. That's about it for me. Yeah.

Chuck Dingleberry is where I draw the line Porky Pig See it's only been an hour for you Yeah totally And you're over it Yeah dude That's only a current character So it's been multiple days

Yeah at least three days Since I got home from Skankfest I've heard Porky Pig Yeah It's me Eliza Thornberry Multiple days? Yeah, at least three days. Since I got home from Skank Fest, I've heard Porky Pig. Yeah. It's me, Eliza Thornberry. It's me, Justin Trudeau. What's up, fuckers? It's me, Blackface Trudeau.

Trudeau in blackface doing a Mexican accent is so funny. That's pretty much what Steven Seagal does. He wears Chinese clothes and then he talks with a black scent. He's insane. Yeah, dude. It's a living. It's a living. It's a motherfucking living.

Well, I mean, in the case that he's alive, yes. But I don't think he's making money off that. No, no, he owes millions of dollars to the Chinese government. So he has to make fake propaganda films. Does he really? Yeah. No way. He got in with, yeah, he's...

You don't remember? Oh, yeah. You don't remember that failed space flight that he was on? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Chival in space. Yeah. Where they sent him up there. He kept telling everybody, he's like,

I can't work with this equipment because none of it's written in Japanese. Right, yeah. And they're like, actually, man, I'm the queso criminal Mike James. I'm Steven Seagal, man. That's not bad.

That's pretty cool. I'm the queso motherfucker. This is how he sounds, right, man? Yeah. I'm Steven Seagal, brother. He's barred out. He's zanned up. We all just got to work on our kung fu.

And get robes that fit. It's tough finding a robe for a man with an executive cut like me. Now watch as I do one single karate kick and cash this check. Okay, nighttime for those. I'm trying to order some motherfucking sesame chicken. Hey, y'all, you got, what time does the kitchen close?

Oh, y'all close in ten minutes? Well, shit, I'll be in there in ten minutes. Just get them wontons. I love me some Panda Express, motherfucker. Yeah. Hey, y'all gonna throw all that shit out? Y'all just throw that shit out at the end of the night? Because if so, let me make you a funky deal.

Just put it in a bucket, motherfucker. Just put it in this bag. Put it in this pillowcase. And we'll trick-or-treat that funky shit. Put it in my kimono. Yeah. Hey, I'll take off this damn kimono. You fill it up with beef and broccoli.

Here's a signed copy of American Sniper. Hey, I know we're all having a good time, but for real, you just throw that shit Y'all take all that shit Home at the end of the night And what That's crazy Cause if y'all take it home

Where do I apply to work here Mr. Seagal You wanna work at this Panic's Well I'm just thinking I'm just thinking If you just throw All that shit

Dude I wish She had a fucking I'm thinking, if you just throw all this shit away. Dude, I wish you had a fucking... Holy shit. I used to work at the Sonic around the corner. At the end of the night, we had to throw away all the goddamn tater tots. It's like, I got to thinking, I got to mesmerizing. I got to using my mind's eye. And I thought, what the fuck is he doing with all that shit?

Over down that way at the Panda Express. So I turned in my rollerblades, and I went down to Panda Express. Him skating at Sonic. He's trying to use his fucking nunchucks as chopsticks. I know you said you want a honey mustard, but I ate all that shit. So we got ranch, and we got ketchup.

We mix them together, you got a funky little condiment, man. What the fuck do you know about ketchup? You Chinese, bitch. What the fuck do you know about ketchup? You Chinese, bitch. No, we have ice cream too. We eat all the motherfucking ice cream.

But for real, let's just be serious for a minute. You're telling me at the end of every fucking night, you just throw all this shit away. These bitches. So it that shit away. He's pissed. He's blown away. Thank you, guys. My name's Patrick Cobos. My co-host is Matthew Richardson.

Steven Seagal, of course, is here. Hey, y'all. It's me. Thanks for doing the pods, Steven. You're welcome. Any damn time I'm in town. Do you have anything to plug, Seagal? Yeah, man. I got a new movie coming out. Yeah, what's it about?

It's a documentary. Uh-huh. And it's called I Can't Fucking Believe. Every fucking night. Down there at that Panda Express. They just throw all that shit away. Bye. Bye.

Bye.