Chubby Behemoth - Albert's Turkey w/ Zak Toscani

Episode Date: July 12, 2026

SEE THE BOYS LIVE - https://www.samtallent.com/     https://www.zaktoscani.com/     Sponsor: Cash App - Download Cash App today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/g0yurtz9 #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/en-us/card-agreement. Direct Deposit, Overdraft Coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http:///cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.     PATREON EPISODES: https://www.Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth     This week Zak Toscani joins Nathan and Becker in the church. Nathan showed a new friend his spider, tells the guys about when narcs tried to get into the old party house, and doesn't know how or when Beanie is dropping treats for him upstairs. Zak imagines a guy that puts his own spin on crucifix structures, tells the boys about a new imprisonment drug, and explains an amazing dollars for coins scam.     00:00 Coming Back Fast 01:55 Sad Peanuts 03:23 Giant Orb Weaver 05:10 Movie Night 06:48 Your Fear Still Holds 07:44 Wanna See A Big Spider? 08:46 What If This Was My Eyebrow 10:40 One Arm Just Swinging 11:28 What If We Teamed Up Bro? 14:27 Is He Undercover 18:21 This Is The Real Deal 20:17 Stretching Time 22:25 Time Loop 26:00 Jigs Casey 27:52 Big Christmas Parade 30:12 Thanksgiving In Albuquerque 35:00 Rats Mouth 39:04 Pork Futures 45:24 Don't Notice Them In Urinals Anymore 48:29 Rejection Of Vapes 50:59 Not Just 5 People 52:43 They Get A Bad Rap 54:43 The Social Aspect 57:41 Glad It Was Early 59:38 Showing Up Sunday Night 01:02:12 Zak Unleashed 01:07:16 There Were Hair And Makeup People     Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   MORE WIDE WORLD: @SamTallent   Pre-Order Sam's New Book - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0593978897/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3I4LOBQ02YIGW&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.k5eCApJdjwVfn7hSelWi5VdRMlVrzKa4zf68ficcjcg.tZZOiI0nB0n3kkWiGAbidMQy5yUS_MkvmEIaXp-LXjo&dib_tag=se&keywords=sam+tallent+brut&qid=1769522903&sprefix=sam+tallent+,aps,181&sr=8-1&dplnkId=90401c83-a6a0-4ad4-999e-ece570a5d320&nodl=1

I thought your shirt said halfway volcano. Oh, yeah. I was like, what the fuck's the half way? Yeah, man. It had a wrinkle in it that made it real fun. I'd rather have half a volcano, a full one. It's a lot of, that's a lot of smoke. I had to do that for, this is Shobie Behemoth, by the way.

My hair fell out. It's coming back fast, though. Yeah, it is coming back, which this feels like more of a fuck you to ball. Yeah. It's like, no, no, it's. It's for fun. Yeah. No, I have a hairline.

It's really nice. It's pretty good. Thanks for asking. Well, we clear cut, and then we have to replant. There was a fire. I had to do the bag for a get high show at Savage Henry, and it was very high. That's a big old bag. Why isn't it just a little guy?

For the little guys. You have to be the highest you've ever been, Volcano? every time. Well, I guess if you're in Eureka, it should be violently high. I was surprised it wasn't a meth volcano. Oh, God. It's so pretty there. Like, Megan and I did a big road trip because she had never seen the Redwoods. And we go there, it's the perfect weather, you know, hoodie and shorts, great breeze off the water, smells like the ocean, like everything's great. But underneath, there's just the skittering of very desperate folks who are. just surviving on the help of others and like fast food dumpsters.

Yeah. And it's, it sucks because you're out like, oh, man, this is great. And then you're just reminded of how tough people can have it. Right. And yeah, just talking to some of those people where you're just like, ooh, you're not going to, you're probably not going to end up in law school, are you? It's one of the only places where like parking my car in a hotel parking lot, I'm still like, yeah, I'm still not, still don't feel great about this.

No. No safety guaranteed at all. No. Everything's stolen. You can come out with one tire missing. Rims still on. Exactly. Yeah, yeah.

One windshield wiper. You're like, what? The car looked at the, looked at a person funny, so then the person beats up the car, like, punches it, breaks the windshield wipers. I just broke your finger. Yeah. A lot of, yeah. A lot of different.

disorders yeah on display a lot of and then like a really pretty house or whatever right

yeah people are walking around so much is just kind of like slumping yeah yeah it's a real

interesting crew they got out there if they're on the downers or tar then head down nah nah nah

sad peanuts but then also the skittering is the uppers yeah yeah Yeah, just fucking the spider people. Just like live in your attic.

If you left a window open, they set up, a person living in a man-made spider web situation. Yeah, yeah. I saw it in the park and I said, that guy who's got it all figured out. Absolutely. I started going spider style and webbing it up. I told you, yeah, it would have been funny

if you tried to crack that door for some air or something last night and saw the giant orb weaver because it's set up tough. Yeah, yeah. We don't use that door, so he got to get everything reinforced. Like, I pulled some of it away, but it was just like a vine.

Yeah, the main part is not in the doorframe. So, like, he was probably like, yeah, no, I knew that was going to happen. This is my first doorframe web. Yeah, yeah. So, but yeah, it is, it's cool. There was a woman before the show. We did a show in here last night was Zach Tuscany,

and it went well. Becker said we'd be. both could have been funnier, but he's critical. That's fair. That's fair. He's honest. That's why we like him. He's honest. I liked it a lot. I thought it was a great show. I was so tired from hiking that I can't remember.

You tagged one of your jokes, and I can't remember what it was, and I loved it so much. Me? Yeah. Yeah, I wish I knew, too. Was it the... Well, we're not going to be partying so much as you'll be leaving. That, yeah. I love that.

It was at the very end. He said something different at the end of one of his... existing jokes. Oh, different for a joke. I don't know. Yeah. I'll never know. I was dead.

Well, yeah, that was funny because, yeah, you're like, let's party. And then I immediately said, well, by party, you should get out of here. Yeah, yeah. It worked out great. I wanted people to smoke and hang out for a bit after. Right, but not like a... But not in here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because, like, yeah, we've only done a couple of things in here before we lived here and then since living here. This was the first comedy show. But other times, yeah, people will kind of stay in the pews. And it's like, all right, well, that was for the before show. Right, right. You can't just. We're not putting on a movie.

Right. There was a dude last night was pretty drunk. And he's like, how much would it cost to rent this thing out? And I was like, what? I don't know. The place I live? Right. Like, yeah.

I wouldn't, I wouldn't charge you, I don't think. What are you thinking? And he was like, oh, just like a movie, you know, movie night. And I was like, yeah, I get that. And I wanted to be like, that would be fun, but I don't want to do that. He's got a decent crew of, like, guys that ride bikes and play Frisbee golf. And I like them. But yeah, any commitment is a lot to be like, yes, we'll figure out a regular movie night.

Right. There will be people up here. Popcorn and candy, like all the stuff that you... Yeah, bring a bunch of trash. Yeah. And, yeah, I don't know. So it was kind of a very soft, yes. We're like, oh, fuck yeah, dude.

Yeah, that'd be crazy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the people where you're like, we're never going to hang out again. And they're like, dude. We're never going to die. We should like hang out. You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're going to be seeing a lot of each other. No, it was a fun show. I'm glad that you came down. Yeah, thanks for having me. We, I didn't know what, to expect crowd-wise, and we had like 40 people, which was great. I was a little worried about like seven people, like a bunch of people wanting to go, but then not. Because I do that every time.

I'm like, oh, I should go. I'm not going to. I'll feel a little bad. So, yeah, I thought maybe we were going to get a bunch of those. But no. Yeah, it'd be bad if they could all fit in one pew. Yeah. If it was seven people, you're like, you could all.

Right, right up front. I also thought it was funny that when they all sat. Like no one, same as a comedy show, no one sat in the front to pews, which is always interesting. I didn't notice that from the back, but that is pretty funny. Where it's like, I don't know if that's like they assume that if they're in the front, that a crowdwork will happen to them or they will be made fun of. I think that's the main thing, yeah. But the funny thing is like you leave this one empty. So then to us, that is the front row.

There is no one in front of you. So your fear still holds. Yeah, you could still get got. Unless you're hiding like weird legs, no legs. Right. Then the second row here, you would avoid some of the crowd work. We should have just like, as everyone said in the second pew, we just remove the first one. Yeah.

Just watch them be like, oh no, no. Oh, but I was going to say a woman was like checking out the front of the church before the show. And I was like, do you want to see a big spider? She was like, yeah. So I showed her. I thought you knew her. I thought you guys had like a spider relationship. No, I just thought it's a good one.

Yeah, yeah. If you want to see a big one. Because you said it to her like, well, I know you'll love this, Diane. Spider lady. Yeah, yeah. She was one of the handful that I did not know. Okay. But that was your test to see if you're cool.

She looked very nice and normal and I was happy to show her a spider. Guy with the 90% covered face tattoo. Yeah. I wasn't, I was welcoming, but I didn't. I thought maybe. he was a spider. He was made of spiders. Yeah, I haven't really seen him around anywhere. I haven't either. But he came with people that I like. So that was perfect where I was like, oh, just had a rough couple years looks like. Yeah.

And then if you regret it, what do you do? You'd go Orville Peck and wear like a fun lone ranger mask with a I can't imagine how hard that would hurt to get them removed from your face, like a laser burning your. No. They probably don't even like. recommend it so you don't we had one that was over his eyebrow like he didn't have an eyebrow I think he must have shaved it because it was like the design was the what if this was my eyebrow I don't have to worry about my eyebrows anymore because I just got one and done yeah it was the whole it was like green colors yeah almost all of his face nose it was I was so tired and high that when I first clocked him I was like you got to look away or you're going to stare too long you know you got to

right now. That was my internal dialogue. I was like, nope, don't do it. Don't check him out too much. He's going to get angry about this. Well, I mean, you don't get it to blend into a crowd. That's true.

I was exhausted. I was just kind of lear at him. Like Sophie, Sophie Cunningham just did that point. And I saw a meme where it was like a toddler who sees someone with a deformity at the supermarket. Yes, yeah, yeah. As someone's pulling them away.

No talking. Just somebody. There was a lady, we went to this water park just south of Denver with Megan's niece last weekend. And there was a woman with kids and half an arm, you know, lopped at the elbow. And my first thought was that meme. Like, what's going on over there? Just pointing at someone. Well, it's like, I mean, you, yeah, the only difference is as an adult you don't point, but you're still in your head.

In your head, you're like, whoa. Holy shit. Look at that. Yeah, control your face. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, in your head, yeah, you're like, you can look for another. Yeah, nod. Don't go from, like, squinting because you're stoned to, oh, whoa.

Yeah, when I first saw her, she was outside of the water park area with a big stroller. I think she had, like, two kids in, like, a bigger stroller. And there was, like, a little decline. And then I see that she's, you know, the one arm is just swinging. you can't help with the stroller at all. And I was like, oh shit, if that's a runaway stroller situation, that would suck. You're half bumping. Totally.

So you can't get going as quick. Yeah. And you're just like, help, my baby. Right. You stop it and then you see half an arm attached to it. Like, oh, that's how she lost it. One arm, two infants seems like a wild commitment. Yeah.

You have to pick a favorite every time. You can't hold them both. A lot of challenges, I'm sure. All right, which one gets the horse one? Which one gets the mule. Also, I liked that the tattoo guy, his buddy, had white dreads. They were like, listen, one of us can't have both face tattoos and white dreads. We got to split it.

They find each other in the light. Yeah, exactly. You sick of the weird looks. Like yin and yang. You know it, brother. Yeah. What if we teamed up, bro? My thing now when I see white people with dreads is I want to be like, are you from Valerian?

That game of throw, you know, where it's like everyone who has. blonde hairs from one part of that world. And there's no shampoo, so. Yeah. And it feels like the least mean thing. Gross. Yeah, I think that's still kind of mean, isn't it? Are you calling, you're calling them a nerd instead of an appropriator? Well, just like, I guess of the things that white dread elicits, you're like, oh, cool, fictional characters instead of like, look more yellow than blonde, if I got to be honest.

Or orange? Yeah. When it gets that. That's Simpson's yellow. Uh-huh. Yeah. It's like, oh, man. Yeah, he's, that dude, you would never in a million years guess.

He owns a head shop, smoke shop. Never would guess. And so you go in there and it's like, I'm going to buy something. Yeah, yeah. Oh, this is legit. Top-notch stuff. Nice guy. Yeah.

I've gone in twice in the last three months to buy the same thing. And both times, he was like, oh, let me look, man. and look around for a while and be like, I don't think I have it. And I'm like, you should check that drawer that's labeled as the thing. Both times. First time he pulled it open

and there was barely anything in there. He's like, I don't think I have the one you want, man. But I got to order more. I'll have them soon. I was like, all right. So then I went back in like six weeks later to be like, hey. And he was like, oh, I don't know.

And I was like, the drawer? He was like, oh, yeah. And then he opened it. It was like, oh, sorry. I really got to order. orders. Was it just like a little piece or something? It's a female,

a 30 degree. A girlfriend that you can smoke weed out of. It's a quartz nail for doing dabs. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. So he has had them at some point. You've gotten them from him, but then he ran out. Yeah, no.

And you haven't. But both times, you haven't been able to jog. Oh, I got to get right on that. The six weeks you weren't there. He was looking, but just at his pace. And both times was. like, I had like looking in the wrong drawers and he literally has like little white labels

on the drawers and from across the counter I was like it's the one that says the word I used when I asked. Yeah, yeah. Court sale right there. It's adorable. Just like, oh, good for you. You're keeping stereotypes alive. Yeah. This is part of the job. Yeah,

you gotta get too high or else people would be like you're a narque? Yeah, exactly. You know, I know exactly where that is and you're like, I don't trust this guy. This guy's on top of his headshot. game. Something else is going on. I was a little worried about a narque, a fed.

I told you, the guy that shows up to the church comedy show with a hat that has a cross on it, I was like, does he think it's Christian comedy? Right. Or is he undercover? Because like, I told you Sam and I lived at that punk house, mouth house. Yeah. They would have punk shows. And Denver police tried to get in there and bust them for something.

So, like, the first time they sent NARCs undercover, everybody clocked them right away because I think they were wearing Dropkick Murphy's shirts. And it was like, yeah, swinging a miss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, but, and they ended up, you know, they got shut down eventually for like something. Right. I don't remember if they weren't carding or whatever. They had beer underage kids or something. Right.

And they weren't carding. But, yeah, they clocked the, the NARCs right away. And I was like, huh. Like a brand new drop-kick Murphy's. Yeah, yeah. With the tag still on it or something? Yeah. from Target.

Yeah, baseball hat with a crucifix. I was like, huh. Yeah. Hopefully he's chill and doesn't try to proselytize. It was a crucifix where the, it wasn't like a T in the way that it's just a flat squared off T. It was like, they looked like nails, like nail bottoms at the, so it's kind of like it lists it's a more violent crucifixion where you're like, oh, so it's like your crucifix is sharp. I don't know what that denotes. It reminds you what it is.

Yeah. It's fucked up. How do you get the nails into the crucifix if the crucifix's nails? Right, right. Doesn't make sense. I guess, yeah, you'd have to pound it in the ground, so maybe it would need to be... That would be cool. Sharp at the bottom.

That would be helpful. You could kind of crack it in there. But the rest is not logical. It'd be hot as fuck. Not that you're supposed to be comfortable up there. Right, right. Just one guy making crucifix. Like, I'd do things a little.

I put my own spin on it. Yeah, you want a wood crucifix. Go to fucking Zedadaya. Right. Oh, anyone can cut a 90-degree angle, but I'm working with angles here. You go camping, you don't bring a bunch of flat pieces of wood

to drive into the ground to keep your tent safe. No. No, you have stakes. And the stakes are high. When I got to deal with Zetakaya and his traditional crucifix setup. So I'm thinking outside of the box.

I bet he thought he was being funny. Could have been. Yeah. Yeah. Or he's like, he's going somewhere by himself. So he's trying to like play it cool. So he's like, I'm going to a church. I'll put on the crucifix app.

But I'll swear a couple times so that people know him. Also kind of cool guy. Like in the back of his car, there's just hats for every denomination. Shit, which one? Which one? A snake's on it. Mormon would be, I don't know. Star David.

A liar. Yeah. Yamaca. Cap. Little brim for a yamaca type cap. Or it's like a hat with the cutout so you could put the yarmaca dome it kind of. Or the hilarious yarmacas you see little boys in New York wearing that have like Knicks, Yankees, Met shit. Oh, yeah.

Is that a lot? Oh, they do that, yeah. I used to. I didn't know you could have a branded Yamaka. I think they've let it slide. Your ad here. It says Godmill. Oh, yeah, yeah.

99 you have a got milk yamika it's kind of all about loopholes because they don't have hell yeah yeah yeah totally so like it's like all about thinking things through worse you can get from god as a guilt trip when you get you're in but i didn't really care for that if there were a hell you would be there yeah so take do with that what you will welcome everything you see is yours but i would like if you didn't use some of the nicest things for the first thousand years. Yeah, I remember, I said last night, I remember being a kid and being like, eternity, huh? Well, every school year feels like an eternity, but this is the real deal. Yeah. Just looking at each other and it's like, yeah, this is it. Like, it was so scary to me. Yeah. The lack of time, the lack of an end of anything,

even though that wasn't eternal punishment, damnation, it was eternal. And, you know, Yeah, yeah. I couldn't deal. So you just like... It just freaked me out. I just be like, what... It sucks to get a short amount of time here, and then you go to eternity, and then I guess you just like keep thinking about the time that you lived. Yeah.

You know? Yeah, just, yeah, going over past mistakes, regrets. Third grade, what does that even like? Fuck. Yeah, I didn't like any of that. And that was when I was young. And then, like, high school, I start having sex and smoking weed. And I'm like, fuck, is this going to do me in to where I'm in hell forever?

And then it's also like, how bad could it be? Like, you don't get used to it. Wouldn't you be able to adapt? You would definitely get used to it. But that's physical pain. If it's all like beyond the physical realm, then maybe it is just like torture forever. And I was like, that would suck. Yeah, yeah.

Is it worth it to jack it and get laid? Not really. Right. I mean, I didn't stop. No. It was a conundrum. where I wondered what the hell, how I was going to shake out.

Then I went to college and I was like, I think it's all made up. You see enough people doing it. You're like, well, at least I'll have some company in there. It'd be a lot of cool people hanging out. Yeah, exactly.

Commiserating. Oh, yeah, I would do some... Really hot. Rubbing elbows. Yeah, yeah. With some of the cooler folks in history. Yeah, you wouldn't... Or you would be alone.

I would think, what if you're just locked in a little box? Yeah. You're like, fuck, get me out. Like, even though you're not physical, you're still cramping up somehow. God damn it. I don't even know if this was like a real thing, but weren't they trying to develop a drug

that they could give you where it would feel, basically like the way I remember being proposed was basically like an alternative to jail where they would shoot you up with this stuff that would make you... Clostrophobia? Well, they would, that in real time you had only been drugged for five days,

but in your mind you've been there for like a, thousand years or something. I don't know. Like that they could somehow figure out a way of stretching time in your head. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's so scary. That's how you make super villains. Yeah.

Right people. Yeah. Fuck. But, and in the same way that I guess, you know, like when you, I, I only smoked Sativa once, not Sativa. Salvia. Salvia. In the way that Salvia would feel like you've been, or D&T would be like, you felt like

you felt like you've been gone for a long time. Salvia was terrible. Salvia was we... Did you work a job? Some people said they, like, worked a job for four years. I never had that. No. Mine were very short, crazy rides.

We, I can kind of... Mine was just intense in a way that I, I think my mind kind of, let's not go back there. But we were doing it in a big circle with a bunch of friends. And one of our friends, you could just... Because we all took turns. Like, we're all going to do it at the same time. Let one person do it so the rest of us could kind of like be there. and make sure you're not going to freak out.

Online, I remember it saying that everybody needed to kind of blast off separate. You didn't hit it once and pass it or else nobody would get the full effect. Yeah, no one's of a sober mind. It'd be like, don't, don't do that. That's a window or whatever. But our friend Saki, he did it and just immediately we knew like, oh shit. Because he just was like, he's fun. And looking at us, like he was going to kill us and we had to like hold him down.

I'm like, you're all right, man, you're all right, you're all right? Yep. Damn. But he felt like he was gone for a minute. And yeah, it's like, that stuff scares me. Yeah, it's fucked. You're like, I don't want that. I liked most of the couple trips that I had with it.

And then one was freaky because it was just a time loop of like 15 seconds where I knew I was on the couch next to my girlfriend. And my buddy came in to our apartment and like looked at me like, whoa. are you okay? And I'd be like, I think so. And then I'd look to my girlfriend. And then I would feel like I was going backwards on a ferse wheel. So I would like feel like I was getting jerked backwards. And I grabbed her thigh.

And then it would start over. And that happened like four times. And then I came down and I was like, I'm going to do it again. And everybody goes, no. Because to them I wasn't like talking. I was just like kind of looking around. And then maybe it was like a little scared looking or something because I didn't like the backwards it's jerk motion.

But I did want to try to go again and see if it would be better. I don't know. That was a weird time where you could just get it from white guy with jerks. Yeah, yeah. Just a head shop. A swap meat or whatever.

For like six months and then they're like, oh wait, we fucked up. Yeah. Yeah, you're like, this is legal? We have to get, yeah, right. Why did we crack down on weed when this thing was just under the radar? It's so much more, yeah.

And I remember there was a YouTube series of a guy being like how to drive on salvia or how to garden on salvia and he would be in his car and he'd be like all right so i'm in my car just gonna smoke this uh salvia and then we'll get going and he would smoke it and then we'd completely forget that he was in a that he was gonna try to drive and he just like i remember him like leaning back in the car seat and him being like out and then a cat jumped on the windshield and he was like uh-huh or the gardening one he's just like i'm teaching you how to garden and he smoked and then just laid down in the ground I didn't do anything for 15 minutes.

I think I remember that. Yeah. Old YouTube. I wonder if you can still get it. Savia? Sure. Yeah. Yeah.

It's not like it was all thrown in a fire. No, they were also selling it as incense. Yeah. Mm-hmm. After they made it illegal, you just had to, like, kind of know what you were doing. So I think everybody also gave up on it because it sucked. Maybe that's the guy in the glass shop.

Maybe that's what he's like. Oh, fuck. Like, it was six weeks for you, but for him it was like you had just left. And then you came back. He's like, oh, man, I told you. I need some time. Yeah, God, I barely turned around. And you're back.

And then you're back. And he's like, it's all happening again. Yeah, he felt like he went back. Yeah, yeah. Let me grab your thigh. God. I was telling him how we missed the carnival here. Did Carlos go?

I don't know. Yeah, that would have been fun. Because I told him they did it right. They had a Gravitron. There was a zipper. Over at the parking lot? At the fairgrounds? Yeah.

They did it. Or was it? They did a carnival. And I think it would have been at the old fairgrounds, the rodeo. Yeah. And I know the wind fucked with some of them. Like some of the rides were shut down for some of the time. Yeah.

Yeah, they didn't skimp. It would have been sad if they were like two, like the hit hit the thing with a hammer and the ring toss and that's it. Right. But it looked like they. They went for the mid-grade package, maybe diamond, not platinum or something. So hopefully next year I can try to do that. I mean, that's just Americana to me, yeah. Totally.

Getting fingered. Getting fingered on a fairs wheel. Fighting somebody with sticky cotton candy hands, you know, like I remember in college, we went, so I was in college in Reno and several of my close friends were from Lakeview, Oregon. And it was like three hours away. It was very southern Oregon. town. And they were, that was very Americana, you know, we went up there for homecoming weekend and everybody was stoked to see these like three dudes that went to college that made it out.

And they had a carnival like state fair thing that we went to. And our buddy, I can't remember his real name, but he had a character that he called himself named Jiggs Casey. And he went around shaking hands at the carnival and telling everybody, you know, I hope I have your vote. He was running for treasurer or whatever he made up. But Jiggyz, he was. Jigs Casey, yeah. Can I count on you in November? It was just such a funny way to interact with a bunch of people that he wasn't from there, but then like our buddies could kind of tell him who to like, yeah, go get that guy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's registered here. I'm running. Yeah. Yeah, registered? Yeah. I hope I can count on your vote. Jigs Casey.

And I can't remember. I think he had a couple platform stances that he would throw out there. They were ridiculous. Right, right. Like legalizing. beastiality. I don't remember. But it's some stupid shit. Free Pepsi for everybody. Right, yeah. Like everybody gets a car.

One car, we share it. We'll figure it out. Right, right, right. But we'll have a free car. You don't have to fill it up. Yeah, just whatever it was. Just stupid campaign promises that he would. And it was a fun way to spend the day at the carnival. Or, yeah, the state fair, I think. County Fair. Whatever it was. Yeah, that was. I sometimes I think about, Lakeview, Oregon, because I don't want to go all the way to Portland.

Portland's like Denver where it's like, yeah, it's cool, but I'm kind of over it. So something smaller. Like this is 8,000 people. Lakeview, maybe it's 20,000. Yeah. I keep eyeing like 20, 30,000 people, towns, like Las Vegas, New Mexico is like 25,000. I'm like... Done a house show there.

Oh, no shit. Yeah. I like it down there. It was cool. It was during Christmas time, too. well, it was end of November and they're like, we're having a big Christmas parade because the guy kind of lived in the downtown

so he's like, you might have to walk a little bit because it'll all be shut down. And I was kind of like, oh, all right, what's like a Christmas parade in Las Vegas, New Mexico? And it was all a bunch of low riders that had been Christmased out. And I was like, this fucking rules, man. Yeah, that's cool.

Yeah, there's just enough going on down there. New Mexico as a whole has been kind of, It was left behind until like TV, until Breaking Bad or whatever. Right. Helped the state get into that game of like Netflix productions. You know, TV and movies started shooting there. That has helped. But that's more south, like Las Vegas or over to Albuquerque, northern New Mexico didn't get as much of that.

So still just a lot of like people struggling. But some, a little bit of a bounce back with the weed. I'm sure weed has helped. with some people from Texas going there instead of coming all the way up here. But yet, it's so pretty. And people are really cool down there. Albuquerque can get a little weird because some of them definitely think you're supposed to be kind of hard. Yeah, yeah.

And fighting is better than nothing. Right, right, right. Something exciting, even if it could be awful for everyone involved, is better than the alternative, which is being bored again. So there is some of that tough guy stuff. but God, yeah, so many cool. It's funny that there's all the tough guy stuff and then hot air balloons. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, that's kind of how machismo's always worked. Like, I'm going to fuck you up, but first I got to listen to this Morrissey song. Right. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, my emotions are hopefully going to help me in this fight. And I'm crying while I'm hitting you in the face.

Yeah, yeah. I'm going through some shit, man. I've got to beat your ass quick. I got to go home and set up a slip and slide for my kids. Yeah. Yeah. I got to be feeling. filled with whimsy as a, as a ooh and awe at the hot air balloons. But after that, I'm going to wreck your

ass. I spent a Thanksgiving in, in Albuquerque, which was initially I had a friend that I, a co-worker that I knew from Portland that I'd moved down there. And she was always really cool. And I knew she lived there. So I had like, you know, obviously no one's going to book me on a Thanksgiving. Yeah. So I just had a free day. And she was like, oh, well, like, come over and we're going to have a big party and I was like, can I bring anything? And they're like, just bring a dessert. And, you know, obviously I'm staying in a hotel so I can't make a dessert. So I just went to Whole Foods and bought like a big fruit tart. And then, you know, had a couple hours to burn before I went over there. And then I got a text from her. And she was like, unfortunately, one of my friends has, you know, it was 22.

She was like, one of my friends has COVID. So we're just going to, we're just going to cancel it. And I was like, fuck, I'm just in Albuquerque on Thanksgiving. I have nothing to do. And then I was like, wait a minute, got that whole fruit tart in that, so I just crushed that whole fruit tart the whole day. It was awesome. Hell yeah, dude, that's a perfect day. Yeah. And I was telling my niece about it.

She kept thinking it was, she was like, you're in Albert's Turkey, New Mexico. And so now that's what I call it. Albert's turkey. Albert's turkey. Ah, that's very good. Right? I like that. Yeah, there's a club.

There's a hyenas there now. And Sam and I went, and it was very, you went, the three of us went down there. And it was like, dude, almost. almost all Latino crowd, but cool as hell, just down, excited. And it always felt tougher there with the other attempts at clubs or shows where a lot of the Mexican dudes wouldn't show up or if they did, they weren't really there to have fun. Right. Just kind of look at you funny, shake their heads.

And it would just be like, all right, sorry. This guy's stupid. Right. This guy's stupid. And you're like, I guess I'll take that. But that, I don't know, for whatever reason, that club, they got a bunch of people that were in there. even though it hadn't been there long, it was maybe a year. I guess people have been having fun.

Do they have one in Dallas, too, a hyenas? Okay. Yeah, and Fort Worth. There's also the guy from Breaking Bad has a comedy club. Casada, I think is his last name. Oh, is he a part of that? Yeah. He's like the, you know, he was the VA partner to Hank.

Okay. And I think he's from there, and I think he started a comedy club. And I've heard good things about it. They're like, yeah, that it was. Yeah. That room was a club. was a comedy club before it was called Kazatas. And it's like very big, weird, like a big stage,

uh, tall ceiling. Like, yeah, it's a little funky. And I, I don't know if he moved it or anything. Right.

But yeah, I haven't, haven't been in there. We did hyenas instead. And I keep thinking because I'm close. I'll try to go out that way for like a show or two. Right. But I haven't.

Uh, but yeah, it was nice to, because we used to go. That was like, You'd go to Albuquerque from Denver and hope for the best. It was like the closest big, other big city, big-ish. Hey, everybody, this particular episode of Chubby Behemoth is brought to you by Cash App.

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Visit Cash.app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. And I didn't know Raton does fucking hot air balloons I thought you had to go to Santa Fe or Albuquerque But Retone does it too Yeah they just somebody just went It's not as crazy Albuquerque does the biggest one in the world as well

Yeah which I don't even want That's that man I need like eight Ten I don't know So I'd like to do Raton Somebody like I read some random post That they had moved nearby And helped out

Like they heard if you just showed up with some gloves And we were down you'd probably be asked to like be on a crew and help and they they got to be a part of a crew does rat does rat just mean rat in Spanish they're just like rat it's rat New Mexico they go down there that's that's the first thing you see is a bunch of rats now I don't know why they mouse I think okay I think it's both is it because I always heard like Boca Raton is rat's mouth or something right yeah which may be just the shape of the town or something yeah some or the lake or something

looks like a mount yeah uh yeah rotone is it's interesting the trinidad is trinity holy trinity Catholic missionaries or whatever oh okay yeah but yeah rotone it's like what the missionaries just shit on the closest name it rat competition yeah yeah what Spanish for toilet name it that because who cares they're left to die it's all the it was like a plague community that was yeah just stay here we'll be back with medicine yeah check out the rats uh i haven't looked it up but yeah it is funny billy wayne davis kept ripping on it oh you called it rat huh it's like well none of us did right right we're in charge of it sorry my grandma was born here and so it's where i ended up but yeah it is it is funny i don't know if there's a cute story or not

but yeah that's our sister city and it's there's less go on on than there is here, which is insane. Right. Better produce. Yeah, we used to go down there and better Chinese food, but that went away because it was a husband and wife and the wife started seeing a cop. And so the dude's like, well, what am I supposed to do? Yeah, yeah.

Stay here and serve you and your new boyfriend, my food. So it went away and it was fucked up because we have two places here. They're both okay. But the one in Roton was good. Yeah. And now I don't go down there as much. Yep, we have our own Arby's now. Oh, yeah, that too.

Yeah, we don't have to, we don't need you anymore. He'd go down for the Arby's. Yep, it was the only place you could get a Euro in less than an hour and a half away. Yeah. Their Euros were good. They do a solid. They're pretty solid. Yeah, it's pretty good.

I like their, I feel like Arby's is one of the best desserts. If you like rat. If you like, they have a good rat, Euro. I think they're a pretty thin lamb. situation you got going on in just little strips. Interesting. This one has a tail on it. The spit has mouse traps in it.

The tail coming from the bottom of the euro. Oh, God. But their desserts do rule those Yeah, those turnovers. Egg rolls. Oh, you're talking Chinese food. No, I'm talking about Arby's. The peach cobbler egg rolls are fucking nuts.

I haven't had those. It's peach season. I bet they're serving them right now. I like that you're optimistic to think that Arby's is like, What's in season? No, it's not that. They try to capitalize on people knowing about it being in season.

Oh, I guess that does make sense because it's going to be cheaper. Yeah, Wendy's doesn't bring the strawberry frosty back in strawberry season because they're getting them cheaper. Right, right. They just, they're like, oh, yeah, people want strawberries. Well, I guess, yeah, the strawberries are interesting. Colorado, we think of, yeah, peaches because of on the western. Right. Western part of the state.

Yeah, those palisade peaches. There's a lot of peaches. There's a lot of peaches in particular. Yeah, they do some other stuff. Cherrys. We had good cherries, yeah. So, yeah, it is kind of a group think kind of thing. It's peach time.

Well, that's what I always heard about the McRib is that they only do it limited time because McDonald's only brings it back when pork prices are super low. That is true. Yeah, that has to do with pork futures. So it's like they make it like this, oh, it's limited edition. You never know when it's coming, but it's like someone did the research. Like, oh, every time pork prices are in the... You follow Nancy Pelosi's portfolio of...

Yeah, exactly. McRiv's coming. I mean, why can't you just be like, whatever she's investing in, I'll do that too? You can... There's people that track her. It's a matter of getting the information fast. Right.

Because by the time you know about it, it's already... But there are people who have built systems to, like, watch her trading. And there was a guy who made a shitload of money in one year by just doing literally everything she did on a smaller scale. there's I wish I had a mind I mean obviously that's it's a little different but the people that can think I remember meeting a guy who made he didn't make a ton of money but he was like there was a while where the US mint was trying to get rid of you dollars like dollar bills so they were doing a thing where they they would dollar for dollar if you sent in money they would they would mail you dollar coins huh so what he did was he just maxed out all of his credit cards

bought all the dollar coins when the dollar coins came just paid off all of his credit card bills but then he got all these bonuses for maxing out his shit like his credit level increased you get all the benefits you have from your card like oh yeah

you've earned all these miles now he was just doing that over and over again not realizing that the US men is losing money mailing thousands of dollars in coin Like whatever the weight is. Right. Heavier than what you sent. Yeah.

Damn. It was just like a little thing where you're like, oh, it's not even illegal. It's just being smart enough to be like, wait a minute, I could make this work for me. Yeah, there's a gap here.

Yeah, dollar for dollar. I'll just pay off my cards. Beansy. Beanie trying to drop another dues. Oh, I thought. A little communion wafer. See somebody looking in the window is going to be like,

can I look around in there? That would be awesome if we could get that on video. Or if you just didn't have a dog. What fuck was that? Yeah, no. I told Zach how Beanie likes to take shits up here, and I don't know when most of them have happened. Because if I come up here, it's for a couple minutes.

I check the door. Orb Weaver's still terrifying. That's locked. And then I go back down. And if she plays at all, if I chase around, whatever, like, it's a couple minutes, and then we're out of here. And then, like, two weeks later, I'll be walking, checking. And there's old, hard dog shit.

It's like, when? You found one this morning. She never, yeah, and then, yeah, this morning, there was one. And it's like, when? Maybe it was face tattoo. No, they were full. No, yeah, I have no idea when she could have done it. She gets to go outside so much.

It's not like. You just like desecrating gods house. Yeah. Yeah. Not that, devil dog. Not that long ago. Like last week, there must have been some, like, weird underground, like, drilling or I know they were pouring concrete. They're making a new exit.

I bet they were. doing foundation shit. Yeah. So there was like a weird rumble that she could pick up better than me or Megan and mama's just out of it so she didn't care. But Beanie like was so freaked out just downstairs like panting and pacing and just couldn't chill. And then I thought if maybe it's really shaking, you know, vibrating the floor and stuff. So we came up here and she was still kind of being weird, but less weird. And then she was finally chill on the pews. And so it was funny where it's like, well, God is, God is reaching out.

She's praying. But yeah, I think she just needed to get off of the ground because it was moving too much for her liking. Yeah. And it was weird to not just to kind of be aware of it. And they've been doing all kinds of shit over there. But this was just that one day. It hasn't happened again since. But it sucked too because it's like we didn't know how to chill her out.

Yeah. And it's not like going outside or on a walk or something could have helped because I'm sure it was weird. And probably if it all around here. It was probably a big diameter. Yeah. So yeah, I was glad it was just the one day. And I imagine they'll have to pour some more shit. So it'll happen again.

Maybe we go for a drive. Yeah. Try to get out of town for a little bit. Lay low. Go down to Las Vegas. Check out. They shot a lot of no country for old men. there, which is a fun fact for me.

So there will be blood was right around there too, right? No, no. They were both shooting in Texas when they were near each other. Oh, gotcha. But they shot like a couple of the coffee shops, a couple of the hotels or whatever. But like a few of them. Yeah. So they were probably there for a bit and maybe not as much as in Texas because Texas had another hotel or two.

And some of the, yeah, some of the, I think that the drugstore, I think, was in Texas. Oh, the one that he lights on fire, blows it up. Yeah. I think that was Texas. But yeah, a bunch of the other shit was in Las Vegas. Oh, interesting. I haven't checked it out. We've just like driven through there a couple times.

Right. And it's on like the main, most of it is on like the main drag. But yeah, I like it down there. It's pretty chill. There's an old painting of Howard Zinn, like a quote from Howard Zinn. That's in a parking lot. and I always like checking that out. Buy one of the spots where a lot of people eat the spick and span, I think.

It's like Johnny's spick and span. Isn't it? Something like that. I don't know. Yeah, I can't remember their name, but it's like a bakery and they do like good breakfast and lunch. Okay. Great red chili, green chili. And then, yeah, Howard Zinn quote across the way.

So, Howard. Yeah, there's a charm. Z-Y-N. Yeah, he's got a horseshoe in. The fucking settlers need to just chill. Yeah, exactly. Put in some tobacco and just, well, no, actually nicotine. No tobacco for the Zen man.

There is, I feel like the Zen stuff is going down because I don't see them in urinals as much anymore. Oh, just in general. Yeah, well, it's like people would take out their Zen pouch when it was done and they were just throw it in the year. You just, it felt like for a while anecdotally, I would just, because I don't chew tobacco, so I'd never be necessarily around it. but you'd be pissing and you'd be like, it's like six, yeah, what did you think I said? Yurtle.

Oh, in a yurtle. Everywhere you go, Zin's in the Yurtle. Yeah, Beck, I was like, all right. I was preparing to be like, I might be dumb. Yeah, yeah. What is a urinal? I might be unsalvighing it. And I was like, ah, context clues, urinal.

I'm just not hearing good. That is such a shitty. I've tried to course correct. Sam with his behavior because I'm like, dude, there's nothing you can do. And it's not just him. It's like every Zinn user thinks that when they are done with it, they should and will and can throw it. Yeah.

Get rid of it wherever you want. And it's like, brother, it's so easy to put it somewhere intentional. Uh-huh. Where it's not, where somebody isn't going to see it and be like, God damn it. Right. Like when I bartended at the Dan Lounge and be like, well, cool. You went by several garbage cans before deciding to spit it into this urinal. Right.

I have to now get a paper towel and get it out. Yeah, fuck you. Also, just the amount you see on, like, hallway carpets in hotels. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like elevator floors in hotels or, and it's like that's... It's... It's so fucking gross.

It's putting, like, a bag of spit. Well, and it also, because of, like, the saliva, it attaches. Yeah, it's like... Yeah, it's like a part. It's a part of the, it's a part of the wall or floor. Yeah, if it is able to dry on a hard surface. And yeah, a lot of times because I feel bad, I hate the idea of a humble hotel cleaning person,

having this room take three times as long because they have to pry them off. They have to hate them, yeah. Yeah. They hate Sam specifically. I usually will try to undo some of that shit. But yeah, it is interesting if maybe there's less of them, if they've cooled in popularity, probably not by a ton.

No. But noticeable. Right. Like they're not going anywhere. It's kind of like, yeah. A bunch of people probably didn't love them, but did them to try to get into it for that big initial push. Yes.

At its peak, everybody's trying them. It was kind of like the... I didn't like drinking at first either, so I'm going to keep doing it, but then that's over. So now you have less people... Yeah, you just have like the people who like them continuing to use them.

They're like an anti... I always think of it as like... There must have been... I'm not a smoker, tobacco-wise, so I can't speak from first any experience, but it feels like... There's a big rejection of vapes. Oh, yeah.

And vape culture. So it's like, Zins might have been like, oh, this is cooler than vaping. Oh, I'll still get a little buzz. And there's the... And cigarettes are bad. Chad guys that all look at nicotine as a neotropic. Right. And so they were all...

Which is true. Which is like, so like... Yeah, the military... Pilots are horseshoeing. Yeah. Right. Like that. And it works.

But then there's dude bros that are like, I got to put four zes in. and before I go power lift because it helps my dilation of a little bit. Right. Yeah, it's just, you know, smoke a cigarette. Ansin suck. They, like, irritate your throat in weird ways. They give him the hiccups. They make me feel like.

They mess with my breathing, yeah. Really? They give me hiccups almost every time. Or, like, yeah, if I haven't for a while. I kept trying to figure out if I liked him or not. And same with the vaping. There was a stretch where it was like, damn, this is pretty sweet. Because like, yeah, being able to do it inside without repercussion and, yeah, not having the stink of SIGs.

On a flight, it's great. But every other time it sucks. It makes my number. Like, I smoke everything. But those make me feel like I smoked like cigars wrong. Like, it really fucks my throat up. Yeah. Just dry and raspy.

So I think that's part of it is there's a lot of people that do that and now are addicted to nicotine. Right. This fucks my throat up. But the other day I was kind of drunk and I had a cigarette and I felt pretty good. Yeah. Because cigarette sales are through the fucking room. I didn't know that. They're the highest they've been in like since like the early 90s or late 80s.

That's funny. Yeah. When I was back in Cincinnati and when I lived there, it was like everyone would go to Kentucky because you could still smoke in bars. And then that, you know, got repealed maybe 10 years ago. That was like a big, that was like a big. 10 months ago. Yeah, it was like, that was a big, at least from like, you know, Cincinnati's right on the river. So you just crossed the river and you're in Kentucky.

And it was like so many people went and drank in Kentucky because you could just blow them in the bar. But that's now that's gone. But I would just go walk around, you know, downtown Cincinnati and just outside of every bar there's like, it's not just like five people smoking cigarettes. It would be 30 or 40 people. I've noticed as a smoker because it used to be like. when we were in a public situation and I'd go outside, it'd be me and four other guys who looked like me. And then like one mad single mom.

And we'd all be smoking outside of whatever downtown Denver thing there is now. And now when I go outside to smoke, there's shit loads of people younger than me. In the last year or a couple years? I'd say like the last four or five years I started to notice like, man, there's a lot of young kids smoking. That kind of sucks. And then all at once it was like,

I'm like a weird old guy. for being out here smoking. Yeah. Because this is all kids smoking. Well, that sounds like it was a... It's like a generational gap. Or like... Well, and they don't drink.

They don't drink. They all got on vapes. And then it was discovered that vapes are like infinitely worse for you. And the cancer it gives you is a worse death. So like if you're addicted, you might as well go to the Zins. Right. And Zins make everyone feel like shit. They're bad for your gums.

It's like the, I do think the addiction everybody keeps falling back on that is getting addicted to nicotine is like, the best way to do it is a toasty cigarette. Yeah. It's delicious. There's a reason we've been doing it so long. Yeah. So the Zins, the pouches and the vapes were because people weren't smoking, but it's the, now people might be smoking with a Zin in their mouth.

Yeah. I do that once in a lot. Okay. Is that like, do you, yeah. You're like, they react so well together. In Detroit for Sam and Emily's party, I had a handful of Sigs. and it is, I had a laugh when I was in line waiting for food with Dave, Borey's sister, or wife, and wife's sister, Alana and Naomi. Because Naomi hadn't, she's 25, she hadn't smoked until like the Bachelorette cruise.

Yeah. And so she tried it and she was like, oh, you know, like she had no idea. And I was like, yeah, they get a bad rap because some people act like there's no point. Right, right. Drinking, you get more fun, loose, you know, everything had, weed, you get more chill. Smoking, you don't have any of that. And I said, yeah, how wrong are they? Yeah, yeah.

I was like, tell that to the guy. Like, none of them, if you think that, you've never worked service industry. You've never had like a long shift that sucked, followed by a smoke on your break. Yeah, you've never been stressed and then lit a cigarette if you think cigarettes suck. Because it's pretty awesome. You're waking up on a beautiful morning and just like, going out on a porch at a hotel, a cigarette's money. When you're like ready to throttle someone at work and then you go outside, like, I'm

gonna go and then you have one, you're like, oh, like you get lighter from the wheels up. Yeah, it's beautiful. Well, I remember, like, right after college, me and a buddy went to Europe for like five or six weeks and he was a smoker, so he bought a carton for two cartons before he left. And I just remember being like, you know, we have fucking backpacks on and we're walking. Like, it was always like a, every time we got to a new city, it was always like we'd be there for three days. So the first day, we're all stressed because neither of us know what to do or where to go. And so we're both fighting like, you talk to someone.

You talk to someone. Anyway, he'd be blasted him. I'm like, man, I don't know how you. And he's like, every time I smoke, it's like a little boost energy. Oh, yeah. It is. And then it's beautiful when you're like trying to wind down. It helps with that too.

Yeah. It's fucking everything. Well, also, it's like, in the same way that like, when I. to us. Yeah. What you gotta do is dry a leaf. That's pretty simple. But like it's also the social aspect of like I'll have that with weed where sometimes

I'm like, I don't even really want to get stoned, but it's an excuse to leave. Yeah. For five minutes and then come back in. And psychologically, sometimes that's like enough. I've had times where I used to feel really overwhelmed by a lot of people. And it's, you know, my initial reaction would be like, well, get out of here. just go back home, get back into, like, laying in bed or whatever. But you go outside for five minutes and you just, it's enough time to kind of reset your shit and be like, you know what?

A lot of people I love in there. More than it being gross, I think that's why it'll never go back to being an indoor activity. Even though, like, smoking's going up, I think, like, everyone has realized, like, at any time I have, like, a little anxiety parachute. Right. On top of then having a cigarette while I'm anxious, I can just be like, oh, yeah, that is cool. I gotta go out of a cigarette. I'll be right back in five minutes. I would love to keep talking to you.

But I have to go outside. The temperature changes and you're getting fresh air and regulating your breathing and having a cigarette. And then you go back in just like, okay, I can do this for 40 more minutes. Yeah. It's actually healthy. I want to go talk to that guy actually, you know?

Yeah, it is nice to do the reset where you're like, yeah, I'm not going back to that circle. Right. Or if you go back in, yeah, I'm going to sit somewhere else. And it's not personal, really. It's just like circumstance or whatever in a way that is not there. If you stay inside and just go, cool, I'll be right back. Yeah.

You just sit somewhere else. Don't follow me. No, you don't go outside. Yeah. Oh, you just like. You're just join a different circle of people. Just stare at a wall for five minutes. I'll be right back.

Just look at the fridge. The worst is when I'll do that with weed room, like, oh, I'm going to go step outside and smoke and they're like, oh, let me come with you. And you're like, motherfucker. Yeah. That's the exact thing I was trying to avoid, man. A cigarette is, you can, if they don't smoke, you know, you're in the clear, unless they just, yeah, I'll join you.

Yeah, it's like, no, you're not allowed. You know what, I'll have one too. You're not supposed to. And in our age group, cigarettes aren't still overly popular. So it's still like if people are going to follow, I'm going to go from being overwhelmed by 15 people to having two guys outside with me who also probably is a lot of just want to kind of be like, yeah, a good party, right? Yeah, yeah.

And just stare off in the distance because they're all kind of, weed is sometimes somebody being like, oh, weed I can get in on. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, nobody's ever treating a cigarette like, uh, once, if people are really partying, they'll be a gal. Right. Can I bum one? I never do this.

I'm being naughty. You're like, sure. Yeah, the people that have it tied to like, I don't smoke, but when I drink a little bit, yeah, me. We need, I think the party can follow you when you're trying to get outside. Yeah. I smoked with you when you first got here. I'm glad it was early.

I got so high. And, oh, I was going to say, the coming back around to cigarettes for me was funny because it went from when I drank, sometimes it sounded good. A lot of times it didn't. But it was more likely if I was drinking to end up having one, bumming one. and then I quit drinking, so my weed smoking goes up for however amount of time. But then kind of quick, it went back down or like I stopped doing it out as much. So now I don't have weed or drinking.

And then Sigs are there where it's like, damn, got to tweak on something. I keep saying that. D says that in an always sunny episode when they go to the Grand Canyon. Got to tweak on something. So she's getting, she wants to drink energy drinks because everybody. else is drinking beer but she's driving got to tweak on something so yeah having having a sick in detroit i didn't i i i loved almost all of those people but it was kind of a lot to like and you how long do you talk to these people versus trying to talk to these people you don't know as well or

whatever and and getting too high does not help me with that as much as it used to and drinking drinking too was the lubricant but weed weed was was good for a while and then became more of a me and Megan at home or like, you know, me, Sam and Becker, but not every time. Not every time. Not every time. Yes. Yeah. Or, yeah, a more particular thing versus, yeah, literally with whoever, whenever, yes, which

was for a long time. Yeah, any comics outside of shows, non-comics, smoke weed with them. But yeah, I got away from that. So then, yeah, yeah, thanks, thanks, six. Thank you, R.J. Reynolds. You were there the whole time. You said, we'll be here whenever you go have your fun. We'll be here.

It was funny. We'll be okay without you. Meeting up with you guys in Detroit because obviously you guys had had the weekend together and I was just showing up at Sunday night. Yeah, we were there Friday and Saturday. So I was kind of like, what's everyone up to? I could just tell everyone was like at a long fucking weekend. We were at the lake that day.

Yeah, we just were on the boat and everything. So I just remember like walking up and be like, yo, what's over? I was like, oh, that's that, man. Yeah. Not in a bad way. It was just like, yeah, they've been. You know when someone's had a weekend. Yeah.

Oh, it's not. You guys were all just kind of... It was pretty perfect. But with that comes, yeah, the draining of the social battery. Totally. We're all 40s or close to it. So yeah, different. In a good way, though.

Yeah, yeah. Because I kept thinking, fuck. There's going to be a point where I hate all of these people. And I'll feel bad because they're literally my best friends. Right, right. But I'll still just be over it. My brain chemistry will have been depleted. eat it or whatever and I will snap

at someone that I love. But it didn't happen, I think because everybody's a little more chill, kind of similar. Right, right. Growing, getting older, not wanting to get as fucked up versus having a good time and like remembering it

outside of a couple of dumbasses. But for the most part, I was relieved by the general vibe. Or like Saturday, day. It felt like everybody got pretty drunk at the party during the day. So at Sam and Emily's I was like, they're going to want to crank the music up.

Everybody's going to start talking louder and louder. And I'm going to be in my head about like how pissed is the neighbor. Right, right. How annoyed am I going to be, you know, by the end of the night. But it didn't go like that. No, everybody went and like changed on the way there.

Everybody didn't show up in their wedding clothes like still trashed. Yeah. Like, let's keep going. Like it was... Yeah, it was really nice. Everybody showed up like an hour later and had cooled off a lot. A couple of people still hadn't, but they did while we were there. Some people...

And then had to, like, go to bed. Yeah. Like, had to leave because they were partied out. Yeah. That's a nice part if you get a little older. You're probably not going to have the same longevity. Right. Unless you're doing blow or whatever.

And there's no... There isn't the... Pressure to stay. Yeah. We're like, oh, someone's being a little... Little baby, you're going to go to bed. Yeah, like, I get it, man. That sounds pretty cool.

Yeah. Yeah, there is, yeah, better decisions being made. Mm-hmm. Well, we're about ready to say goodbye. Do you want to plug anything? You got anything coming up that you want to shout out to the folks? Yeah, I mean, I'm touring all the time, so Zachdiscani.com. Comics Unleashed.

Yes, comics unleashed. Sam and I often talk about comics unleashed, so check out your episode. Absolutely. Well, you've heard the question that David got on his, right? You and David talking about on that AFE is like my favorite thing recently. Is it true you've been speaking about other people's character? That was the segue into a joke about him wanting to share desserts with friends. We, yeah.

And they also like fucked him on the edit. Like there's several things. Oh, yeah. Because Byron went at him a little bit. Him and Byron had a little back and forth. About money. Because he was checking his, he was like, oh, your credit score can't be that good. And he was like, I don't know.

It was pretty good. and David even admits like, I got a little heated. Like, I earned that. Yeah, it used to be bad. Fuck you. Yeah. Fuck you, Byron. Yeah.

Byron was trying to like big man him and it didn't work. And then they edited it around that so it didn't look like he did it to him. I haven't caught that. But yeah, we talk about it a lot because it's on in the hotel room. And we are captivated at how weird it is. You know how the art form is one person standing up and trying to connect? What if we fucked that up completely? Completely.

What if we shoved four comics and then a host? And none of them know each other. They're sitting down. It's just such a weird. There is an audience, but you're not facing it. Yeah. Right. I remember feeling weird being like when he would pitch to you to go to your joke.

I was like, do I look at the other people or do I like? Play to the crowd. I would look to the crowd because that's normally what I'm supposed to do. But then you're like, it's a paid crowd, which good for them. They should be paid for just sitting there. but you're just looking around like, these people have nothing else to do. It's funny to me because it's just the pre-interview for any other late-night thing that's ever existed where they run it down, a fucking PA runs through it, tightens it up, and then gives you a script of what you said to him with a bunch of styrofoam words taken out. And instead he was like, how could I do that but lazier?

Yeah, yeah. I want to not think, no, or research these people in any way, shape, or form to play this game. So what if I just threw a, threw like a ball in the air for him to hit? Yeah. Yeah, it's fucking, because it's always been that fake. It's just everyone else was doing a performance.

Everyone else was being like, actors were good at it. Actors were good at it. Yeah. The host was better. The actor, actress was better at it. Or the comic. Or no, the comic didn't have to do it.

The comic would do their set. But even when he'd have a comic on and they'd take a, he would just be setting up an or him to tell the dumb joke he knew he was about. to do. It wasn't under the pretense like, all right, welcome back. Norm, you said you had a joke. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, it wasn't

that. It was, they tried to make it feel like you were talking to a human being. And Byron does the thing of like, I'm a Disney animatronic from the 60s. Yeah, he looks, yeah, he looks really weird in person. Like, too smooth of a human being. Yeah, he shouldn't be 65 and look 20. And he's sitting on a

stair, sitting on a chair with this. He's tall. I did not really ever notice which there's ways of doing that just make the leg longer but they didn't they just put like little blocks underneath the legs four little phone books

and then he's tiny so he doesn't want his legs dangling so then he has to sit on the absolute edge of the chair he does that weird yeah because I was right next to him I kept looking like oh that's why he's doing that I thought that was literally the only effort

he was making towards being like I'm listening dude I'm engaged and he would like had this thing of like when it was like clearly like a cut point or that he wanted to cut back in he'd be like applause applause applause applause applause applause he'd be like so anyway oh fuck sorry applause applause applause applause applause applause and then people would clap and then he pitch it again he would fuck up and they'd be like okay applause applause applause he still uses a loaded audience yeah yeah yeah

that's right and there's a pool table that is sitting there and I remember him being like oh we have to stop someone has to re-rack it And I guess, you know, that's smart that he's aware of, like, keeping it. But I'm also like, who's watching this being like, hey, wait a minute. Yeah. That was a pool game. If you think anybody's watching your show for continuity areas. Right. Yeah.

Or do you think people were earnestly playing pool in between the commercial? Like, I'll play. Also, I've seen them edit in continuity errors. I have for sure seen them. Like, do the one on him where he asked the comic like, so, Zach, I heard you've been driving a car. And then it'd go to you and it'd be like, yeah, my mother's party was crazy. Oh, it's not the joke. Oh, they didn't fucking get this right.

And then it'd be like three of them in a row where it was like, somebody doesn't care. Because there's at 2 o'clock in the morning and they get paid either way and there's going to be another one tomorrow. And they like, they like tagged me on the social, you know, when it was premiering or whatever. And I was like, I look like shit. And there were makeup and hair people. And just nobody said anything to me like, hey, maybe we should like. They were smoking. Yeah, they were like five.

The guy, the guy, because you get in the chair and they're all like, man, I think you are right. And I remember watching it. I was like, dude, I look like I got fucked by a witch or something. Like hair everywhere. And I was like, no, they're, when you have all those, when you have that bright of lights on you, and when some people are done up and most people on TV are done up, then you really look crazy. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you look like a ghost. If you don't have a little something. But yeah, who else was on with you? My, the only, um, the only guy I knew was. Ali Sultan. Okay. And then the other two. One guy was,

fuck, I can't remember his name, but he was right next to me in the chair. You guys are forever linked. Really cool dude. I liked him personally. But I was like, you know, I was like, oh, like, how did,

and he's like, dude, he was a comedian, stopped for like 15 years, and he had just started again. Started with comics unleashed. And yeah, that's why I was like,

dude, do you, he's like, I feel crazy right now. Like, I don't have the... He just didn't have the reps. And he was good, but like, it was just kind of crazy where I'm like, oh, what is the scouting for the show? Because if he hasn't done it for 15 years... You just like send an email or whatever and you might get a date.

Yeah, yeah. Well, to me, they just, yeah, they emailed me out of nowhere. I don't know if it was someone who had recommended me or what, but... Interesting. David was trying to get your ass. Yeah, exactly. David wanted to make fun of you. But yeah, this will probably come out tomorrow.

Do you want anything coming up? July 25th, I'm in Minneapolis at Sisyphus. Nice. I love Sisyphus. The 26th, I'm in Madison, Wisconsin and at Gamma Ray. Love Madison. August 2nd. I'm in Euclair at the Plus.

O'Clair. O'Clair. O'Clair. O'Clair. O'Clair. Aaron makeup didn't miss you. O'Claire. Oh, Claire.

Yeah. Mona me. All right. Well, check out the Patreon. Patreon. com slash chubby behemoth. $5 a month. You get a bunch of free episodes.

You get a bunch of additional episodes on top of the free ones, like the one you just watched. Thank you. Sam, we love you. Hopefully the police find you alive. Bye.