Chubby Behemoth - Bar Nund

Episode Date: April 17, 2026

SEE THE BOYS LIVE - https://punchup.live/samtallent     Sponsors: IndaCloud - If you're 21 or older, get 40% OFF your first order @ IndaCloud with code CHUBBY at https://inda.shop/CHUBBY #indacloudpod     Brunt - Get $10 Off at BRUNT with code CHUBBY at https://www.bruntworkwear.com/CHUBBY #Bruntpod     Harry's - Chubby Behemoth fans get the Harry's Plus Trial Set for only $10 at https://www.Harrys.com/CHUBBY #Harry'sPod     PATREON EPISODES: https://www.Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth     This week the boys are all together remotely. Sam wonders if he needs a Kachina, catches the fellas up on the new Love On The Spectrum, and blew out his battery. Nathan tells us about a cool dude looking for a ride, shares the story of a hero wad, and reminds Sam that he doesn't like being home alone. You're not going to get the deposit back.     00:00 Whopper Wednesday 02:43 Maybe If She's Bad 04:47 Why's The Dog Wearing Pants? 06:11 Private Club 08:12 Give You A Full Ride 09:40 Kachinas 11:58 No Salt On The Beans 13:19 Did We Leave The Burp In? 15:38 Wouldn't Admit To Being Blind 19:09 Two Q&A's 19:59 On Camera 22:03 As Far As Dog Ownership 23:52 Real Twitchy 25:24 Just Keith D 28:13 Sticky Da Funkstranaut 34:22 Faking It For Clout 36:43 Lice Outbreak 38:27 I Love Your Stream 39:13 She Went Somewhere 40:24 Super Seniored 44:08 Total Wad 46:20 Too Late Bro 49:38 You Both Leaned 52:21 The Fuse Is Broken 54:53 Ate Old Rice? 58:08 Wondered If You Were Scoring 01:01:19 That's For Pants 01:03:28 So Here's What's Up 01:05:53 Dudes Hugging Each other Retreat 01:10:13 That's What My Seminar Is Going To Be 01:11:59 The Sin Eater     Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   MORE WIDE WORLD: @SamTallent   Pre-Order Sam's New Book - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0593978897/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3I4LOBQ02YIGW&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.k5eCApJdjwVfn7hSelWi5VdRMlVrzKa4zf68ficcjcg.tZZOiI0nB0n3kkWiGAbidMQy5yUS_MkvmEIaXp-LXjo&dib_tag=se&keywords=sam+tallent+brut&qid=1769522903&sprefix=sam+tallent+,aps,181&sr=8-1&dplnkId=90401c83-a6a0-4ad4-999e-ece570a5d320&nodl=1

Kevin at a third time. Yeah, you got to change it up, man. Get some BK in your day? I only went because, I went to Burger King, BK, because it's Wopper Wednesday, and you can get a cheap Wopper. So I go and order.

So you were just trying to get a bargain. You didn't even care that it was Burger King. Well, I already went, you know, Megan's gone. She comes back tomorrow. I already had Taco Bell and McDonald's. But then I made the black bean, sweet potato tacos.

They were good. You're getting the cycle. Well, yeah, yeah. But I have one more night of freedom, Wopper Wednesday. So I go. Did you get a rental toilet? I know. I mean, I can use mine without judgment.

I could use both. But I get the, I get the, I got one impossible wopper and one regular wopper to only be a little bad. and I go to the window to pay and the lady working goes, hey, just so you know, I gave it to you. But you have to say Wopper Wednesday to get the deal. And I was like, okay, good thing you gave it to me. Because if you hadn't, it would have been fucking manslaughter Wednesday. That would have been you're falling down.

Can you imagine? shotgun. Yeah. Michael Douglasing them? Sir, that'll be 1940 and it's like, oh, it's 1940, all right? It's also 1776. That's 1940, and I'm Hitler. We're two seconds in.

I'm Hitler. But yeah. He's been Hitler for a long time. Luckily, she hooked it up. It was so ridiculous. I was like, why do you You saved the 60 cents? No, I mean, Woppers are like $12 each.

They're stupid. So the deal is good. The deal is $4. They are like $9. Yeah. We also pay like Hawaii prices in Trinidad and all the fast food for some reason. Yeah, you pay more door prices. Wendy's doesn't gouge as bad.

But McDonald's and Burger King are both. McDonald's is for sure Hawaii prices and Burger King is pretty high. Yeah, because Wendy's honors. It's commitment to the people. I literally, I'm getting Wendy's on Saturday when we go to Susanna's birthday. We're getting Wendy's. Hell yeah. Wendy's rules.

It's what I ate on the way to meet my little sister. Why do you already know that you're getting Wendy's? This is a special Wendy's? Susanna said she wanted Wendy's for her birthday. Spicy chicken? She's never had Wendy's. Oh, shit. Yeah.

Yeah, she's excited. Whoa. The little girl did her. that fucking rules what's that i mean hey i don't know i think i think when she says little girl dinner she's talking about how there's a little girl who's the logo for wendies yeah wendy i don't think they have a specific dinner just for little girls at wendies but you get to make one up though it's like a cup of chili some nuggets maybe a baked potato hey it's her birthday all right she doesn't have to eat wendy's chili i'm not letting her eat chili wendy's chili rules no

It's griddle scrapings. It's disgusting. Yeah, it's burgers that are more than seven minutes old, crumbled in. The later in the day you go, the more meaty and greasy it is. It's the best. Not on her birthday. No. Maybe she's bad. If she, like, raises hell at the water park and she needs to be punished.

If she doesn't say Wendy's Saturday. Yeah, exactly. You have to say good food at Wendy's, or else they give you bad food. What would you have done if you checked your receipt? Would you have just paid or would you have demanded? I would have known that it was too much. It's, it's insane. It didn't make any sense. Like, if anything, it's like you're, you give, if she would have given me my total, I would have said, it's Whopper Wednesday. And then she would have said, oh, there you go. Now you can get the deal. Yeah. I'd be like, oh, good. And it's a national ad campaign. Yeah. Yeah, it's everywhere.

It was on the fucking board. It was, you know, it's not a secret password. It's not a password the app gave you or something. No. It's like you guys are like gay guys in the 30s at a rest stop. It's Wapper Wednesday. Sure is. And they show you the glory hole.

God, I think Mama just shit her pants. So that's good. Why is the dog wearing pants? Megan's not here. So she's the replacement. You've been calling her Megan? You're going to slip up and call Mama Creech later in the pod, and we're going to know. God, that was crazy.

It's like she had an impossible Whopper and a regular Wopper. She stole my farts. It's Wopper Wednesday on the rug right now. Oh, God. In the church. That's terrible. Yeah, she just broke a commandment. a covenant yeah thou shall not take a wendy's on the on the rug i'm always a little scared

when we record at night and i come up here and have lights on up here because it's like it's a lot of lost souls wandering by and i don't want them to knock and be like what's going on in here is it is there free food is it well for wednesday in here hey i'm a human moth and uh now i'm inside your house i mean the stained glass looks cool. And when there's lights coming out, it's like, oh, something's going on. And it's not like it's a private club. But yeah, I closed the big gate.

So you'd really, you'd really have to be desperate to come knocking. You should start a private club in that church. There's a two-person club. And we're not looking for new members. With a bunch of people in there dancing to Cotton Eye Joe. I should do the home alone. Michael Jordan on a train set said it looks like everybody's getting laid. Oh, yeah, there's a, God, I just got scared because there's a dude.

I saw a guy post on Facebook about needing a ride to the weed to 420 in Taos from here. And he is a character. His Facebook name is, fuck, it's like, icky as fuck. his first name's Ikey last name A Z P-H-U-C-K

and he's looking for a ride To the worst 420 in the region Yeah I figured he was going to Denver He's going to What Farmington's not throwing A big 420 festival

Well he wants to be the bell of the ball He doesn't want to be a face in the crowd Like he would be in Denver Or the Springs Pueblo he's not allowed He's going to go to Tows He's going to show up with a Puffco and they're going to be like, stone him.

He's from the future. His last name is a swear word. Oh, yeah. And he posted in a big, not a Trinidad group, but like a ride share or like catching a ride or something. Hey, man, looking for a miracle down to 420 in Teetown. Yes, I'll answer the question. I will reek on the way there and on the way back. I'm going to smell terrible the whole ride.

And no, I'm not pitching on. gas unless you take crystals or crystal he's got the blue stuff or crystal he looked very young oh so in this in this uh facebook group where everybody is trying to just see if they can get a ride some people were offering rides uh not the worst thing in the world uh so many people commented on his his post with like why don't you just get a job it's like get the fuck out of here you're in the hey i need a ride group why would you you come in there with solutions which kind of rides are

legitimate or not I'm going to give you a full ride to the school of hard knocks get a job nobody wants to give your stank ass a ride no it's just crazy that he's just getting blasted

and then he's blasting right back these people they're like why would you try to get a why would you try to go to 420 when you should be getting a job and he's like shut the fuck we're here giving people rides.

That's the whole point of this group. Look, we're all dickheads who are on Facebook still. We all don't have cars in case every now and then again we do. So hey, take me to To Tohawks the same way you took that grandma to PetSmart and Walsenberg. We're both getting our fix.

You probably don't have to drive him back from Taos either. You probably just take him one way. He's not. He's just he's just co-capelli from there on. He's just trying to find, he said he wants to get a ride from here. to somewhere better and he's trying to get to taos and it's like all right yeah there's a bunch of better places between here and taos go to fucking maxwell have fun with the kachina dolls down there

yeah i don't know should i get a kachina in my nuts i've been thinking about getting one what is that a kachina doll it's they're like uh little spirit slash alien being models i don't know that is really weird What the fuck? He muted, but you can hear the crunching? Yeah, we can still hear you crunching. Are you coming through on your earpods and it just sounds really good? What? You're coming through on your computer and it just sounded great because you're in a quiet place.

Come on, Becker. What the hell? You changed your settings. We had it right before. I changed my settings. Yeah, we had it right before you did your earphones. I got a setting you can change, pal. Now I'm back.

I'm not crunch. That means every time I've eaten and muted my mic, They've heard me crunching. Yeah, a couple other times I just didn't think you were muting it. Yeah, I didn't notice before. Crunch. Sorry, everyone. I thought I was getting away with it.

I was trying to have some Thai food, trying to eat on the sly. I was looking enticed. I was still like, you know, involved in the conversation. Well, what's a Cochina? Cachina doll is a Hopi God. And they were action figures that were built so kids could. familiarize themselves with the gods in a physical form. Maybe gods is the wrong word.

Some kind of ony or spirit. I don't know. But they were all crazy colors, dude. And like some of them looked like black and white zebra stripes. There was polka chinas. There was scarlet and black kachinas. And they were just like every woman from 1995 until about 2002, probably previous to that 85 to 2000 had one in their southwest home yeah there they are I'm surprised my mom didn't

have four of them she probably thought they were evil right they were probably an abomination those look cool they were idolatry they're the personification of idolatry they're a doll that's a god that you play with and like make it sit down and have tea with zeus and the ninja turtles and sometimes you go to like a rich white lady's house and she'd have one that was like four feet tall yeah And you'd be like nine years old and it'd scare the shit out of you because they're pretty creepy looking. Oh, they're weird. And also like my grandma was a little cave Mexican. So she was always like, don't touch the kachina, Sam.

Don't touch the kachinas. She was worried that like a chucky thing would happen where they would suck me like my soul into the doll. Yeah. But you know, she was a simple woman. Well, she had her beliefs. she did and one of them was don't put any salt on the beans that was a big one i think that's fine no it sucked her beans were terrible my grandpa's green chili was better than my mexican grandma's red because i think salt was illegal when she grew up it was precious she was saving it

well guess what there was literal creeks and canyons full of it right where she grew up so if she wanted to go down there with a pickaxe we wouldn't have had to eat shit beans salt wednesday You have to say it. This little, yeah, hey, it's salt Wednesday. No, it's not Sam. Maybe next week. She was always, she was always like this. No, it's not Sam.

He's Thursday. Always smiling. Or asleep. Ow. She always looked dead when she'd fall asleep in a chair. Yeah, that looked. That looked freaky. All right, guys.

Hey. Okay. Hey, everybody. Did we leave the burpin? No. Yep. Hey, everyone, you can see me in Ottawa. We added a show on April 23rd.

I'll be in Baton Rouge, Louisiana on the 30th of April. I'll be in Lafayette on May 1st. Or it's the other way around. Lafayette and Baton Rouge. Sports drink, New Orleans. There's got to be no tickets left, I assume. That's May 3rd. And then Helium Comedy Club in Buffalo, New York, the 8th and 9th.

And I think the 7th as well. and then Zanies Rosemont, Thursday, 14, 15, 16. And then Zanies downtown, 18, 19. Those will sell out. That will happen. So get them if you want them. Comedy Club on State after that. And then Dr. Grins.

That's where I'll be all the way through May. And then I'll be in like Austin and some other places. Go to Punch Up Live. All right. That's where you got to get my tickets from now on, folks. My website is not real anymore. So go to punchup. dot live slash sam talent to get your tickets everyone thank you also join the patreon patreon

patreon.com slash chubby behemoth five bucks a month gets you access to all of our wonderful patreon episodes including those two Q&As that becker and I did that were good according to at least a couple people patreon. 296 hours 296 hours wow two hundred ninety six hours wow two weeks that's insane that's like 11 days you could listen to us talk that's like 127 hours you could get your hand stuck under a rock and be fine to it twice there's a truck driver who came to the shows this last weekend who's listened to it five times through whoa free and the patreon yeah yeah yeah I think it's it five times through uh cool guy hot black wife truck driver classic white

truck driver, hot black wife. Quite the duo, yeah. And you want to hear something scary? For the life of me, I can't remember where the fuck I was this weekend. I was in Charleston, South Carolina. That's where I met that young all. All those shows sold out. It was awesome,

bro. Yeah, it looks. They were all heaters. She was the one who wouldn't admit to being blind, so she would just drive us around blind for years and years. She wanted to be able to go to bingo whenever she wanted, so she refused to turn over her license.

Fuck. That's so scary. There's so many people that do that. Yeah, my great grandpa was blind, blind. Like, Dr. Verified had macular degeneration. That's what my grandma had. Yeah, and he still refused to give up his car. And he was the sweetest man who was never mean to anyone until, like, they started talking

about taking his car. And he was like, I'll fight you all and never let you back in my house. Fuck you. I'm driving the two blocks to the liquor store and the gas station to get my snacks and my beer and that's that's the only place i go you're not taking it away from me it's my only freedom and he did through that yeah he did that shit till he was like 96 i think like the last two or three years he didn't drive but becker i'm surprised you didn't step up and do some vigilante justice you know you know like defending the car i was i would have surprised you didn't step up and crack

his head open because he was jeopardizing the car safety it was a very rare Pontiac is called a w 38 i believe it was like the gentleman's GTO. I didn't know that. I was like nine. You in the car were on a first name basis. No, I just knew he had a big green Pontiac. I didn't know like what special models were like different motors really. I knew like cool paint job.

That man's got a bullfrog vroom, vroom, mommy. Yeah. Get your gun out. You're like. Yeah. When did you first fall in love with cars? When I was a kid, but like I fell in love with them the way like a normal person would now where you're like, oh, that one looks cool. I like that.

I didn't know like the motor designations or what rear. I wasn't like super nerdy. I didn't know what made different ones special. I just liked a pretty one or a brightly colored one or one with a lot of chrome. Never been in love with a car. Yeah, it's a weird thing. It's because my dad loved him. He put importance on it.

So my brain made it a thing that was like an important thing to memorize. Well, I mean, you pretty much grew up. You know, you know that Cheech and Chong, the Big Bam, boo album cover. Yeah. Yeah. It came with a big rolling paper in it. Yeah.

You were pretty much that rolling paper and the album was your mother's womb. Yeah, yeah. My first real memories are playing with smoke on the back of the couch and the big bay windows. Yeah. You've told us that before and it bummed me out then and it bums me out now. It was a great memory. I was playing with my mom.

No, you were playing with smoke as your mom got stone so she didn't have to listen to you anymore. No, she'd listen to me all day. Mom, I want to be a car. She's like rolling one up. Yeah, yeah, we all want to be cars, Becker. Who's Becker? You.

I learned a good chunk of what I know from her being stoned and being like, nah, see, Dodge made a crooked engine called a slant six. It's my nightmare. She'd tell me all about it. It's my nightmare. An old stoned woman telling me about cars. That would suck. She'd just talk to you about gardening. She, like, loves that you're into gardening.

She has some seeds set aside for you and wants to know if you want other things. What, like nudes? No, like black carrot seeds. Like a bunch of heirloom shit she has laying around. It said nudes, black carrot seeds. I know the code. Now, Lund, why don't you talk, huh? Well, Becker's feeling himself.

Becker's had to talk a lot more because we've been split up. What have you guys been up to? Walking a lot. I went over to his place for the part two of the Q&A. And that went well. Oh, you did two Q&A. And A's. Yeah.

Back to back. Double dipping. Wow. The Patreon should just be a Q&A as far as I'm concerned. What the fuck? It worked great. I think Lund making a veiled, uh, not very veiled remark about how they kept giving us dumb questions really inspired everyone to get it together. It was, it was a good grouping of questions.

Lund blasted them. He did. When we, when we were together in the Springs and we were going to do a Q&A, I guessed what some of the questions would be. was pretty mean about it. And then they understood the assignment. And there were a bunch of good ones that we didn't get to after part one. So we did part two. And that one also went well.

I just heard a bang like some big sound downstairs. And it's just me and the dog. So that's good. Oh, no. Yeah. Go investigate. No. I mean, it must have been.

Beanie, I think, probably made the noise. And then Carlos. Came upstairs. So, I mean, she's not. barking so what if it was becker how about it was her back i'm we're looking at becker i know what if becker set up some kind of holograms so you come over there and kill you on camera on camera yeah that'd be awesome it'd be a bad move i'm a little scared i don't want to see you killed i'm hoping it's not icky as fuck that'd be crazy yeah i summon him i need a ride oh was also a

funny because I looked through a few of the posts and it's exactly what you would imagine. It's a guy with face tattoos and a dog and a bindle. And one guy... He has a bindle. No, no, but like they...

Right. They say like one guy had a giant garbage bag. One guy had... Icky had like a pack and a wagon and some stuff. A wagon. Yeah. And so they're all like,

you know, hey, I got this. and this and I need to go to here. And one guy, he's not going anywhere because he wanted to go from like Colorado to Indiana. And he goes, I've got my pack and a dog.

The dog barks a lot. And he's shedding. So there's going to be a lot of hair. And he said he had money to pay for the person to drive to Indiana and get home. And it's like, dude, you got to figure something else out.

Take the trade. Take a spirit. What are you doing? You can go to Indianapolis on Frontier for like 80 bucks. He's got the shaggy dog, though. Hey, guess what? Set the dog free, literally or spiritually. The dog will be better off without you dragging it to Indiana. That was a bunch of the comments on Icky as fucks post too.

It's like people who can't unhouse people, homeless people shouldn't have dogs. It's like, all right, they don't have anything. And there's so many dogs that are in. shelters and or getting euthanized. And I used to think that... Let them earn it. I agree. I used to...

I'd rather... Yeah. Homeless dudes are better than most people as far as dog ownership. Yeah. Because they don't have anything else. Right. I'm sure some of them are bad. Those dogs love it.

Those dogs love living outside with an addict. No, but like the average dog owner I know is a single lady who locks her dog in their apartment for nine hours, then comes home for 40 minutes, then leaves for another three hours. You got to quit rewiring those ring cameras so you can see in. I don't like that you have this information on what the women are doing with their dogs. Yeah, it's it's fucked. They're just little prisoners. I agree.

I agree. I think that dogs should only belong to the unhoused community. I think anyone indoors should quit hoarding their dogs and open up their doors and let them lose. Do you think the dogs want to be downstairs right now while Lund's podcasting? They're down there scared. There's a man named Icky fart down there, fingering them. No, they're up here. Mama hasn't farted again, so that's good.

That's really good. Oh, Jesus. Oh, man. I forgot to be. I forgot to be chewing. Yeah. Which one's worse, folks? That was like,

The train was in my head. It's coming around the bend. Dude. Have you guys seen the new Love on the Spectrum? No. It's crazy. There's this kid named Logan on there. Real twitchy.

You know, he's a real like hand right here type guy. He's a face covering autist, classic. Real sweet, you know, they're all great guys. Are they American? Yeah. are Americans. Logan lives in Las Vegas actually, none. Nund. I was going to say Nathan and Lund, but I said

Nunn. Saves time. None. Bar Nund. We call him Nunned. Now I got to make new hats. None. The one known is nunned. Yeah, we should make nun hats. But anyway, so he's never been on a date

before, you know, for most of his life, he's been covering his face with a hoodie. And they set him up on a date that he wears a like prom-style tuxedo to. He looks pretty cool. It's all blue. But the chick who shows up is for sure one of the hottest autistic women in the history of boners. Because, yeah. I mean, and I'm not saying she's a 10 out of 10, but she's very much lovely and attractive.

And Logan, meanwhile, looks like an Ed, Ed, and Eddie type. and I can't believe it works. Half done. Well, dude, this season's crazy because they nuke him with her. And then there's a guy on there who's just Keith DeSooza. There's just a guy who's Keith D. It's, I mean, this is crazy. Dude, literally like, interesting.

Oh, everything he wears, every noise, his posture. I got to find the guy. Oh, yeah, I meant to. ask Emily what level of candy crush she's on because I saw a meme. She checked. Did you see that meme? Because of that. Okay.

Who won? The autistic woman's on level like 11,000. Emmy was on level 3,000. Okay. Now, yeah, but she did check when that lady said, I'm on level 10,381, a candy crush. Emmy was like, I need to check my phone. And then Yeah, she was

So hey, now is this Dylan from love on the spectrum Or is this Keith the Susa? Oh my God. Whoa. Holy shit. Whoa. It's crazy, dude. I mean, come on.

That's Keith D. Yeah. That's just Keith. Yeah. Keith's been eating a couple extra tacos. And he's always like, interesting. And he like bobbles around and wears a hat just like Keith. And I can't take it seriously because every time he comes on the screen, it's just chubby Keith.

Yeah, chubby, Chubby Kay. I mean, look, Keith has that outfit. That's how Keith sits. Yeah, that's great. He says stuff like Keith all the time. Sometimes I fart in that spot. That's what that quote was. I mean, this was Keith at my wedding.

Cowboy Keith? Rare Keith just dropped. So yeah, he's on there fumbling the bag with chicks left and right and being like, interesting. And we're dying. God, damn it. Stop.

But it's good down there. There's probably mice or something. No, she's acting like there's something to bark at it and there's not. Could be a guy. She has caught a couple of flies. I thought she was like, oh for a thousand trying to get these flies that are, you know,

getting in. She's like an outfielder. Basement, but I think she's gotten two. She definitely got one the other, like yesterday. And I was like, holy shit. And I think she got one before. But yeah, she's not good at it. Cats are...

Pulling her weight. Because cats are really good at that shit. Yeah, between their paws and their fucking... But yeah, she's not even two. So I'm surprised she's gotten any of them. I think they were both those big fat, slow flies. Yeah. Spectrum flies.

Well, hey, you know what else? You know what's good? Everybody is 420, you know? Tauce. Legalized. Go to Touse. Yeah. Get a ride with a sticky defunctrionaut.

Celebrate 420 this year with In the Cloud. In the Cloud has everything. Gummies, Vaps, a prey rolls, e dables, e. E zero calorie tiatsitsodaz. Indeclade is the fully legal online cannabis dispensary for you. Now you might notice I bailed on any kind of specific accent there. I feel like you picked one. No, it didn't sound like anything.

It was a new way to talk and that means it's okay. It was a white guy in Lafayette. Yeah. It was a man after getting his head slammed in a car door. Bojur City. I would like to endorse this product, but there's no one who can endorse this product more than Jake Becker. Becker.

I love this product. They make the beast gummies. The beast gummies are 500 milligrams apiece. Therefore, when you really need to get something done. Yeah, when the walks don't work. Yeah. The hoagies aren't long enough. Yeah, but you still need to go to sleep.

They'll put your ass in gear. And then the dope ropes, those, uh, uh, they're very similar to a nerds rope. They're kind of like a nerds rope-esque product. And they shouldn't, they shouldn't be able to sell them. They taste really good. They taste really good. And also they get you faded. I got a strawberry peanut colato one this time.

And I read that and was like, ew. And then I took one bite and was like, well, I'll be damned. Yeah. You just drew yourself a bath. Yeah. All these products from IndyCloud, they're federal illegal THC. Everything solds to EA certified and lab tested. If you're 21 or older and a new customer, go to Indicloud.com.

That's indecloud.com. Not dot com. And use code Chubby for 40% off your first order. 40%. That's Indicloud. com. Code Chubby for 40% off all month long. Shipped discreetly to your door.

Free shipping on orders over $50 and $30. and free gifts on qualifying orders. After your order, fill out the survey. Tell them Chubby B sent you. Enjoy responsibly. Thanks to Indicloud for sponsoring our 420. One of my dad's cousins had a cat in New Mexico and it would go after the lizards.

And it was quite the scene to see, dude. Oh, yeah, because they're fast. Right, but lizards can also climb up shit, but cats can jump really high and climb up stuff. So you'd have like a lizard like scurry up the wall. And then you'd see a cat like jump from off. bottom into refrigerator to like ceiling fan to get to the lizard. That was awesome.

Oh yeah, I was going to say, do you, do you think that the, the candy crush girl, is she prettier than this new lady that you said was a 10 with an asterisk? Well, kind of like a rodential 10. and it's just so that lady's definitely hotter than candy crush candy crush woman is like the celebrity she's the one who broke out she got out the gutter from love on the spectrum she's very pretty and i would imagine if you didn't talk to her i wouldn't say very pretty she's pretty she's just like a i mean i don't know if she registers is attractive to me all right we're talking about the candy crush girl yeah emily yeah she's always like she's like she's like she's like

always like this. She's like, oh. When she doesn't, when she's not doing that, then I would say you, you would be like, hey, what's up? And then. Hello, Sam. You have 4,314 freckles. Uh-huh.

And she's with, I don't find that lady hot. She's with a very plain looking dude. She's with a guy who talks like this. Yeah. He's the big, uh, that's how he talks. He's a goof. He's always, wearing a hat.

Yeah, that guy's fun. He's just kind of like a, you know, like a fat shlomo type guy. Oh, I love you. He's a schlamazel. Yeah, he's a Shlemiel. He's Austin Feffer Incorporated. Yeah.

I don't remember what her name is, but like, Morgan, I love when we're in the same room. She's, you know. Yeah, I love, I mean, that show, that show, all I do is just cry. But this year, it's been. kind of perverted because Keith is all there. So now I can't like enjoy his breakthroughs as much because it's just literally like,

I mean, oh, did you cry like I did when that Candy Crush girl sang the national anthem at that hockey game. She nailed it. I don't know. I haven't seen the end of the newest season. So I don't know if that's in there. I haven't seen that yet. I thought you're saying it's a new cast.

isn't it? Or is she on there? So the candy crush girl is the one who broke out. Yeah. But she comes back in the last episode for some reason. I don't remember why. Well, this was just online. So I would imagine it happened recently. Oh, yeah, no.

I watched the show. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know their lives off screen. I follow her in Baylon Dupree. Who's Baylon Dupree? Is that someone else who needs to ride the Toes? She has Tourette's. Bailin Dupree sounds like a great drag star.

Mm-hmm. Or like a, you know, roller rink girl. She broke out because she's got a show and she's got a rash. Oh, nice. And she's constantly stimming, you know, she's got all these ticks. So that's fun. But yeah. I'd like to be a tick on her.

I wish you guys had seen it because there's this guy James who's like the total dorkess, malarcus. He's like prototypical dwangus is what I said. the Pat yesterday. He's like a, oh, that's a very interesting. So he's always making noises, but he's got this young woman named Shelley, who's an Amazon executive, who has been diagnosed as an autist at 28. And I'm, me and Pat are kind of convinced that she's faking it for clout. Like she seems like kind of like, you know, like a true and on listening, like, like, Jet Neptune Center.

She seems like she's been like edge poisoned from Red Scare and now she's like dating James for the lulls. I don't know. That's not cool. Amazon employs a bunch of high functioning autist women.

She's always laughing at him. Like he's always doing crazy stuff and she's like like she's trying to maintain character. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I like to do it when it was pure, man. I like to do.

I like to before they got famous and they were just trying to find love. Not counting stacks. Everyone's moms are doing their hair now on the show and like wearing like crazy overalls. I don't like that. Bull work brand. They're just stealing yours, your thing. For sure. That would be better.

Back in the day, that's how they dress. Like season one, they're just like a dad would be in sweatpants. Moms in a spaghetti strap. They're exhausted because they have a, you know, a 37-year. old son who's never lived outside their house. They can't find, they can't find green Gatorade. So every window in the house

has been smashed. Yeah. Yeah, because someone touched their sonic cartridge and he knows what angle he left it at. Yeah, it was just, it's a lot of that. And now it's like, oh my, they go to, one of them goes to London with the boy and the girl. There's a

guy named Connor who's always quiet yelling. And he's my favorite guy on the show. Sounds like Pat. Sounds like Pat. Yeah, Pat doesn't like him because if you spot it, you got it. He thinks Connor's annoying.

Because he talks like this. I wish Pat was going to continue to live out there now that you have matching haircuts. Well, I didn't want to. There was a lice outbreak. No. He came back. Wait, no. Bedbugs and then lice for real?

No. Bed bugs and lice out. out. Yeah. We had an ardvark stay over the other day and he spread lice in the house. No, it was for the live stream. Pat said that if he got 400 bucks in the two hours donated, that he would shave his head. And we raised that money and he shaved his head. And I needed a haircut anyway. Yeah. You look nice. Pat looks tough. Pat looks like Ethan Suppley in American History. X. Yeah. Yeah, he truly looks like he's got to bounce other.

bouncers at a late night bar where they all go hang out when they're done bouncing. Yeah. He looks like one of like the the mid-level final fight bosses. Like a Zangeev type who's like move is he just like spins with his arms out like Bart and Lisa. Yeah. Yeah. That looks like he ate a ham off the ground in strength.

Has he shaved his head before? Yeah. Yeah. I guess he gets lice a lot. And I said, I said that when he gets back, because he's leaving on Friday, I was like, when you get home, you should tell your mom you've been activated. Yeah. You know, that you're the rain who needs to wash out the gutters.

He has all kinds of directives now. Yeah. I mean, he should like literally show up with like, you know, sharpie swastika on his hand and be like, mom. Detroit's crazy. Yeah. I miss you guys. I never thought I'd say that. Yeah, right?

it is funny how quickly we go from Jesus Christ if I have to fucking hear this guy piss one more time to my God it's been a week I never feel that way I wonder what Sam's doing I love listening to you piss I love your stream it sounds like this there's always little spurts and starts in there

oh yeah yeah Becker's stream is just all one blast it's like yeah it's all out it's like a skunk Chode style. There's not a lot of urethra that he has to navigate. Yeah.

There's no way Becker's a Chode. It's been funny to be here in the church alone. Megan went somewhere a year or two. No, not last year because we were here last year. I thought you were about to say she went somewhere and you didn't know where she was. Like right now. Right now. Yeah.

God knows where she's been. She doesn't tell me shit. No, she's in Tulsa. And I don't think she went anywhere last year to where I was here alone. But it's always funny when I'm the one that's home. But I've liked it. It's funny that she's in Tulsa. What's she doing over there?

She's on the Main Street board here. And there's a big conference of Main Street board members. So she went to a couple, went to a couple of, sessions, you know, guest speakers or whatever, with another woman that lives here and went to Black Wall Street. She said Tulsa was kind of a bummer. I thought I remembered it being kind of fun, but. Yeah, I like Tulsa, the Blue Dome District. Dude, did you see the video like an hour south of Tulsa?

There was a school shooter, a 20-year-old, went to his old junior high or high school, and the fucking principal went for the gun, got shot, but subdued the guy. So he's never going to pay for a fucking drink again. He can't move or else he won't. But yeah, he got shot. I don't know how bad. But I watched the video and he just fucking goes for the gun and gets it from this dickhead who was 20 who's like, oh, I know what I'll do.

People were mean to me when I was in high school four years ago. So I'll kill a bunch of random high schoolers that don't know who I am. What? He's super seniored? I get. Well, I mean, he was trying to repeat 11th grade. What? Was he Rodney Dangerfield? It's back to school. Back to school. It's personal. Super senior. Yeah. Dude, that's not. The only reason you go.

He tried a super siren. The principal was like, I don't know what that is. And he went for the car. The kid wasn't trying to Naruto run. away and the guy grabbed the fucking oh fuck I mean you know it's like any time

a 20 year old goes to a high school it's to be a loser in front of kids who thinks he's cool yeah there was a kid who was dating this chick name Becca in my high school and he was like 23 and he came and he would like pick her up and he's like you know

2002 two door like it was such I can't I don't know cars, Becker. I'm sorry, but it was an awful car. And he'd show up and like honk the horn and pick her up. And we were like, God, that guy's cool. Meanwhile, he was just assaulting a 15-year-old behind the Sonic every day.

Yeah. Yeah. Damn. And driving a bad car. Yeah. I mean, who's a bigger loser? The 20-year-old who is going to get pussy or the 20-year-old who goes in to shoot up a bunch of kids who didn't even go to school with him. What a loser.

You're not even in the school and you shoot them up. That sucks. I get it if you go there and they keep knocking your hat off. They fucking grab your backpack and they shake it around and you fall over. Maybe you get pants 12 times for Hanukkah and then they hit you with this every day and just whack you. Smacks in the back of the head everywhere you go. It's getting biffed. I understand that a boy can be driven to his limit.

but you graduate and then time passes and you're like oh fortnight doesn't give me the same love that it used to i'm gonna go back to that school and blow out a bunch of kids heads yeah i don't i don't think he i don't think he got anybody he also was trying to go for i think he said posted something about trying to do another columbine and it's like they they wanted triple digits and got you know 11 or whatever. This bitch wanted, you know, wanted to double Columbine and got zero, I think. They were also enrolled, you

Jagoff. They were enrolled at the school. You can't put your name in the same stat column if you aren't enrolled in that school. Like even if he did double up Columbine, there's an asterisk. He's not

going to the fucking All-Star game. He didn't go there. They were children. Your brain's almost formed and you can't get one some fucking loser principal spears you and then that guy's going to get pussy and now you have to go to jail forever he was also

a total wad he's probably 350 who was the principal oh nice man yeah and he just he just charges from like a classroom or something just boom gets him get some onto like a bench it almost looked like a pew or something

awesome Hugh Morris Brunt workwear is back and it's tough enough for any job site, keeping you comfortable all day long. The best part is Brunt lets you try your boots on the job. If they're not perfect, send them back for a full refund. That's a 100% risk-free trial. And I would imagine you are going to keep them because we all got pairs of their boots

and we were all stoked. They're great. They're comfortable. They're sturdy. You walk in them. You can walk in these boots. I got I got miles and miles all on the bottom of these things. Just the tread is not worn off.

They're sure-footed. They're comfy. They really, they made a good product. I would wear them even if they didn't sponsor us. When I think of a range of high-performance gear. What? Oh, yeah. Go ahead.

No, you do it. I forgot. Go ahead. Yeah, your highest self off of Indiclund. Oh, I was going to say, when I think of a work boot, I think of like heavy, kind of annoying. They're not. They're light, but they're sturdy. They're from the future.

They're not clodhoppers. They have a, Brunt has a full range of high performance gear from heavy duty work pants to weather resistant jackets. No matter what the job demands, Brunt has you covered. You work too hard to be. I just said jacket. Very good. You work too hard to be stuck in. uncomfortable boots.

So Brunt built something better. Boots that are insanely comfortable and built for any job site. For a limited time, Chubby behemoth fans get $10 off at Brunt when you use code chubby at checkout. Just head to bruntworkware.com. Use the code chubby and you're good to go. After you order the last square you heard about Brunt,

do us a favor and tell them chubby behemoth sent you. God, that makes me so mad. It's like, I want to be bigger than Columbine. Too late, bro. The window closed when you graduated from high school. They were both 18. Yeah, I'm sick of any of these, this random violence.

It's like, why don't you fucking pick any of the people, I mean, yourself included, you could just do that. But like, take it out on the people that directly harmed you, not randos at fucking ace hardware. It doesn't make sense. You're like, oh, I'm the Joker. It never. I'm glad that a lot of the.

more recent violence that has been talked about those warehouse fires and shit, they're targeted. There's a reason. It's not just fucking anarchy. I mean, and also, like, it would stand a reason that if you were going to commit an act of desperate terror, and obviously, God forbid you do it, especially while wearing one of your Lund hats or, you know, if you're, if you, if in the manifesto, you say I'm a beckerbacker. but I mean it's tax day why not why not do the world a favor if I'm just saying that there are places that actually like impact more people

so I don't know how to say this without without getting us flagged I'm just saying that hey man as a guy you paid his taxes today another year another awful butt fucking so I'm surprised you're able to sit down. Oh, I'm not. I'm kneeling. I'm on a prayer rug right now. It sucks. I had to have my bicycle seat

removed. I'm ruined. I'm always getting ruined by Uncle Sam. That's my name too. Come on. Let me have it on the arm because we have the same name. Yeah. So anyway, there's just, there's places. out there that do harm. Right. And like I said, instead of, instead of there just being these

random places that get shot up, it would be nice if some of these fucks just put any amount of thought into it. Yeah, do it like the game. What do you mean? You ever seen that movie The Game? I don't remember it. I don't think I thought. Sean Penn signs up Michael

Douglas for like some rich guy, like augmented reality thing. Right. You know? Like, why not just, That's my new thing, dude, is like, how can we just trick super rich people in to give me money? I'm rewatching Succession and all these people are just siphoning cash off of Kendall Roy, just telling him that he's cool and making him sound hip and with it. I can do that, man. We rewatch Succession.

That was, it was good. It was nice to be able to watch it all quickly instead of waiting for the gaps that occurred between the last couple seasons, especially. I think there were extended breaks. And that show like the name. The name sucks session reminds me of getting head. So I like it. No one's ever done that.

Josh has just showed up. Whoa. Just had a good fart off of my wooden chair. Oh, that was you. Okay. You both leaned at the same time. I could have been anybody. You blew on the pew.

I farted. No, I wish I was on a pew, but I'm just on a wood chair. I don't know why I'm in this wood one instead of a comfier one. Are your pants on? Are you bare ass? No, I have pants on. Actually, uh, today. Be bare ass.

Your old lady's not there. No. But, uh, I put these shorts on, these chubbies that are three X that I got on accident. They fell out. And they used to fit. until I wore them for like a few days, you know, and then they would fall off. But these, this is the first day I've put them on and they were loose right away. So I've been doing a better job of taking my medicine and I've worked out a little bit. So that was good. A little reminder

that God has a plan. I don't have a scale. So that's how you've been working out? I have 25 pound dumbbells and I've done a few bunch of sets of curls and shrugs. And then yesterday I did a couple sets of squats without weights. Just two sets of 25 squats. And I wanted to do more. But then I ended up talking to Sharpie and didn't get any more sets in. And I'm glad because today they're pretty sore. So I got to.

You're doing Hindu squats? Yeah, I did some hack squats. Nice. You're like the Iron Sheik. The night before I did my, the lighthouse commercial a few weeks ago, I did some crunches, some sit-ups, and that was ridiculous. I have no, I have no butt. So on the, on the hotel floor. You're scooting around like a dog.

I'm trying to get turds out of his ass. No, just like my lower back and butt were just so bony. I couldn't, I could barely, I ended up doing them in the bed so that I wasn't. It's a way to do locomotion around the room. He's just crunching around the room. Scooching. Scooch. Yeah, I was itching.

Oh, no. Luntz here. I'm just thinking about you, scooching around. I was scooching around New Zealand. Yeah, dude. Like a baby. That's great, bro. I'm glad you're using your body.

I've been, after, I was shamed for saying that I had an electric bicycle on Tim Butterlee's podcast. I blew out the battery. I put the the fucking fuse is broken, dude, so I don't have any electricity. So I've been riding that bicycle without the damn battery. And it's huge. It's like 800 pounds. It's like pulling an ox cart on top of it.

It's nuts. That's a good workout. Dude, so I've been doing that. And then drumming, bro. I'm a drummer again. I live to drum. I love it. I am behind the kit.

Thumping. My kids, I'm staring at it right now. I'll show it to you guys at the end of the episode. Nice. It's a little chode kit. I don't have any racktoms. It's a total chode master. I call it the Chodemaster 3000.

I sit back there. I say, it's like I'm getting into like a tank. I like to climb in it. Like there's a door chode master occupied. It is. It's a little. blob. Dude, we're all so fat and

Wide World. It's crazy. We were watching the Colorado Wide Worlds and how big we are, dude. David Bori at one point, David's less like 140 pounds.

At one point, he's at second base, and he's just a chunk. He's like, his hands are on his knees, and he looks like the AOL logo. It's insane. Damn.

He's just a black triangle at second base. What do you mean second base? We were at the Elizabeth ballpark. He's at the second base position. Oh, gotcha. Yeah. Beanie.

You thought he was honking someone? No, I just, I didn't have any context because I wasn't, I didn't go back to Elizabeth after Trinidad. Yeah, you blew it there. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it would have been weird to drive up and then drive home. But, and I would have if Bory wasn't already there. as like another guy, your other best friend. Could have gone to the paint mines. I know, which I've never, I've never gone,

and I would like to check them out. Well, guess what? You're not allowed. They're closed. Ow. I'm going to call them. I'll put you on the list. But yeah, it's been nice to feel like I'm down a few more pounds.

I re-uped on the dress. drug. Oh yeah, I had side effects for the first time in months. I had the diarrhea and like bad stomach cramps. So that was annoying. I don't know why they came out of nowhere. Do you think he just ate old rice? You could have just had old rice. No, no. It wasn't, uh, it was like when we were, when I was first on it and that was a constant thing. And I don't feel like I'd eaten too much either. So I don't know, but. Becker, you look like you're you're watching a beheading video on your screen. Why?

I don't know. Your eyes, I've been following your eyes. His active listening looked. Yeah, he's like. Yeah. Over the top. No, I'm just really high and my eyes are so fucking dry. And the back of my throat is dry.

I did. I walked pretty far today. It's like looking at a Siamese dog from behind. Oh yeah, I'm definitely sunburn. Yeah, burning man. I'm a red man as myself. I'm mostly tan. I also have bad light.

Oh, God, you are. You're pink. Not really. Oh, the blue from your microphone's making you look purple. It's tan. It's not pink. That's all right. Lund, you've got your classic hue.

Pale. Pale. Pale Lund. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I haven't. Haven't gotten burned in a while. I go outside, though. I'm out there.

People see me out there. Like, whoa. Hey, Lund! What's up, man? Lund! It's Nund! Fuck. Do you think you heard me?

You can just play drums for the rest of the podcast. No. Yeah. Show us the drums. I will at the end. I'm worried that the microphone is going to come unplugged. Oh, sure. Are you guys going to...

You saved my life the other day when I was like really not in a good place about my car being broken. And then for some reason when I told you what I had to do, you were like, everyone knows how to make a fan shroud. And it was while me and like a lifelong mechanic were trying to decide how to make a fan shroud. Yeah. And I had to like sit down on the ground in the garage to laugh. Well, I mean, you were like, yeah, man, my car, you know, it's on the fritz. So now I got to make a fan shroud. And I'm like, yeah, well, everyone knows how to make a fan shroud.

Yeah, I pictured you saying it and it fucking murdered me. But it really brought me out of like just really gritting my teeth and wanting to kill everybody. See, man, that's laughter. Yeah. Thank you. That's what we call it. We call it laughter. Yeah, what the fuck's a fan shroud?

It's a, it's a, it's a tunnel that goes from the fan like almost. to the engine so that the air is more directed instead of it just being like a big wide gap where you're like hoping the breeze goes the right way while you're also driving. My car kept overheating because it was pissing radiator fluid. It overheated the other day when I brought you the equipment one. Yeah. Oh wait. You pulled over in front of that trooper's place, right, or the sheriff's deputy.

I was like, why the fuck did you? Yeah. I was like, did you have to get stoned? Nope. Or I wondered if you were scoring. I was like, he's scoring H a block and a half away from my house and he knows I was leaving behind him. Yeah, I was like too pissed to ask anyone for help. Well, Beckers dating the sheriff's deputy.

Yeah, I saw that. And then I meant to text you and then didn't. I guess I figured. It was fine. I had to reprogram the computer and then thought that was it, but it was really that my radiator was pissing fluid

anytime you press the gas pedal. But when it was idling, you wouldn't know it being under the hood. So it took two of us being there, and then, yeah, I hit the gas pedal, and he was like, did you take a cap off of something?

I was like, no, he's like, well, I'm fucking wet. And then, yeah. Upgrade your shaving routine with the all new Harry's Plus razor. Harry's Plus pivoting system is made to reach every corner of your face.

My face. Nothing but angles. As you can see. Not easy to shave. Needed to use a belt sander to get in my crooks and crevices. Well, not anymore. Thanks to these German blades. It's Harry's heaviest razor handle ever.

Perfectly waited for more control. It's not slipping out of your hand. It's not whipping off into the stratus. Harry's. No, yeah, you're not going to be shaving and accidentally, you know, go up and cut off your eyelid. No. This is, this is all right here.

Listen, and listen, that's a nice man's noise. You know, like a little bit, like a little texture to it. But here, let. That's three days. That's three days right there, baby. I love Harry's. It's not H-A-I-R-Y. So don't think that these are bad razors and you're going to end up Harry.

It's just a dude. It's a guy's name. It's me. Harry carries raises. Harries even has their own line of shave gel, deodorant, body wash. With a risk-free trial, you've got to try Harry's today. For a limited time, chubby behemoth fans can get the Harry's Plus trial set for only $10 at harries.com slash chubby. This set includes the.

all new Harry's plus razor, one refined five blade cartridge, a two-ounce foaming shave gel, and a travel cover to protection blades on the go. Just head to harries.com slash shabby. After you purchase, they'll ask him where you heard about it. Support the show and tell them the Chicago Cubs. I'm surprised. I actually wanted you to do the first voice. Sorry about car talk, Sam.

Hey man, I just wanted to show everyone my cool hat that Kurt Gowdy sent me. That is a cool hat. Dad Lounge, baby. Yeah, that's a good one. He told me that he sent that out. I don't know how we got my address, but I appreciate it. He watched stuff. It's made a corduroy.

That's for pants. It's on a hat texture. Corderoy hat right here. It's a good texture. I know, Becker. It gets overheated. It doesn't breathe. It's good for like a nice spring day.

If it's chilly. Well, brother, I tell you what, I have butt-fucked myself yet again. What am I? The IRS? No. So I'm going, I was going to go to Montreal and have like, you know, a gay widower's holiday on my own. Uh-huh. And then, you know, I put some shows in there, you know, so I can wet my beak a little bit.

Sold them out. They're sold out. We added a second show in Ottawa. there's like 30 tickets left for that i guess i'm a huge hit in ottawa which i'll be honest with you i thought was a province i didn't know it was a city turns out it's the capital i always thought people said they were from ottawa they were talking about a province i didn't know that was a city i thought the ottawa senators were like you know new england patriots sure or uh you know washing no yeah washing no no

Carolina Panthers. Carolina Panthers. There you go. There you go. But anyway, so now that I'm home and I'm looking at like, oh, if I didn't have to go to Montreal, I could just be home until like April 29th. That'd be crazy. So now my dumb ass is flying into Montreal, driving to Ottawa, driving to Ottawa, doing two shows,

driving to Montreal the next day, doing the shows, and then I'm going to fly home. Because you have to fly to... That's what I'm going to do. You have to fly to Montreal instead of Ottawa, or what? No. You're just going to do the two-day stretch of the shows.

I'm just going to go do the shows and then come home. Well, I mean... That's insane. That sucks and it's insane, but it will be easier to wrangle you into our remote podcasting while that's going on that way. Well, so here's what's up.

I'm going dark. All right? No. Uh-huh. I'm a zebra without the stripes. There's going to be 96 hours of me in the wind. No one knows what's up. 96 hours is fine as long as we get ahead of it and have a plan.

All right. I thought that for some reason that was a week's worth. Anyway, no one's going to know who or what I am. I'll be surfacing though. So I might come home or you might find me. might, you know, appear to a soccer game in Brazil. Who knows? No, I'm going to come home. I think I just want to be home. But then I don't go to Montreal and sit around and be, be me. You should do the shows. I'm doing the shows. The shows are happening.

Okay. And Emily's also leaving town that weekend to go on a cruise. You don't like being home alone. Well, that's what I'm saying is like, Pat won't be. I don't like being home alone. You don't have a dog. Being home alone is scary. It just sucks. I'm home alone all the time.

It's the worst. Yeah, but I'm never home alone. Yeah, it's cool for like a day and a half. Sam and I are bad at it. I'm Rory. I'm bad at it, bro. I haven't enjoyed it take you four days. I haven't minded this

stretch, but I'm glad it's ending tomorrow. I can be. alone in America or the world and be totally fine. But for some reason, being in my own house without my wife, it's like being in a casket. There's nobody to yell at. There's nobody to blame

for your failures. I'm freaking out. Pat. I had a very honest conversation with my dad about my goals. He was like, oh, oh wow, buddy. That's good. It's good to have goals.

You can tell he thinks I'm insane. Did you tell him about the, I didn't know anything about your whole big dudes hugging each other retreat until I was on Reddit. Oh yeah. And everybody was telling me via Reddit about your, like the joke about Charlie Kirk being gone and you helping the youth. is real. I thought it was just a line in the act. No, it was a line in the act, but you say it over and over and over again.

Or on MSSP. Well, no. So, like, that's what I'm saying. It's like, in my act, I say that line about Charlie Kirk being dead. And, but leading up to that, I do that, like, whole thing about fingering, but I'm, like, talking to the young men. And now I'm talking to the young men even more throughout my act and, like, you know, telling themselves to give each other grace.

or whatever. So like, I don't know, dude. Then I have a three hour drive by myself from Houston to Austin. And the whole drive, I'm just losing it in the car thinking about like, you know, how to help people like service. Because it's Easter. I'm like, I'm not with my family. Like, like, where are my priorities? Like blah, blah, blah. So yeah. So I get to Tim's and I'm like, yeah, dude, we got to like help these dudes. Like, we got to help these dudes and like send them back better. And then the next day I'm on the same kick. So yeah, like, I think we're just trying to coordinate schedules now.

Like me, Butterly, Rainy, uh, Joe Liss, Matt McCusker, like a couple more people. My dad's going to do a symposium on grief. Like, yeah, dude. Yeah, I don't know, man.

I don't know. I don't know. I have three hour. I have three hour drives all the time. I just jack it. I just, his jacket twice out of a hundred the rest of them i just listen to chival i haven't put together fucking retreat i it's ambitious it's ambitious and i like it it was funny to not be with you all the time and then not not hear about it and then we're away from each other for a week and i'm on

redid and i'm like what wait what right and like the issue is is that the people that we most need to talk to were the people on Reddit calling me gay. And it's like, I get that. Yes, sincerity is cringe or whatever, but like, what if you just came and you tried it out and maybe you learn some stuff or you like it? But yeah, I don't know. It's really hard to coordinate everyone's schedules. It's hard to figure out like where we're going to do it. And it's also hard to like find a hotel that you can rent out that has conference rooms and stuff. Yeah. So yeah, Becker, you've got some homework. Yeah, man, I think it'd be good. It'd be good to get out there.

Yeah. Well, and it's just, God, it would be cool because it would be a bunch of sincere guys as opposed to almost every other similar thing, which is just a grift. It's, you know, there's a very specific outcome that is desired. And it's probably to sign up or to pay money. You pay money to go, then you pay more money to like stay in touch or join the network or whatever. And so it's just this fucking grift. But people are going to have to pay. Well, yeah, it's fine.

We have to rent an entire hotel and rooms. No, I know. I'm not saying that it's free and everybody can come. It's like, oh, yeah. Don't go to Sam Hyde's garage. Come here and it's free. You have to have. Yeah, cover costs.

But I'm saying like, you guys aren't doing this. Mike Rainey is so sincere. You know, and you guys aren't trying to fucking get one over on dudes. Mike is like available for people to hit him up about being sober. And like I did that too. When I was for sober, I got messages from people, comics in Denver mostly. But like, and I helped people. But Joe List does service.

Rainy's just like wide open and has a much bigger audience taking him up on that. So. Yeah. Yeah, that's all cool. It's not going to be like doing pushups in the mud and like, right. I mean, my whole thing. That's what my seminar is going to be. It's going to be all mud pushups and a 20 mile walk.

And then we're going to eat two feet of hoagie and then everybody goes to bed without talking. You just watch TV with that phone's on and you go the fuck to sleep and you deal with it. No, Becker. That's what we're trying to get through. I mean, those are all good coping skills, but like the part where you just have to deal with it is the part that we're going to try and work on. Yeah, I know. That's very funny, Becker. That was maybe the funniest you've been on the podcast ever.

Very good. Becker's going to impart wisdom like he did for David Rodriguez in Sacramento, which was, hey, man, do whatever you want. If it makes you happy, it's like, all right, Becker. You just turn this guy into a fucking Sam Hyde. Well, Lund, I haven't told you about my big experiment, which is the sin-eater 10. Do you know about this? No, I saw the phrase sin-eater on Reddit. I didn't know what it was.

And I was like, well, I'll get caught up eventually. I want to be the sin-eater. Oh, dude, I'm sorry. Like, I don't know. You don't have to apologize to me. This is all that anyone's been talking to me about. Became a whole different gun. Yeah.

Like, everyone's like, I'm getting so many great messages, like, so many killer DM. I'm really grateful to everyone. I appreciate you all. It's very early. And we have five people who make their living on the road who are all booked out for months at a time trying to figure out a weekend that would work. So just give us time. It's definitely like something we all want to do.

But yeah, the sin eater, dude. So you get like, I think you get a minute. I think you get 60 seconds to come in and you sit across the table from me. and you just tell me all of your shit, you know, like you scream at me like I'm your boss. You say all the things that you can't say to your wife or your kids. All this shit you can never say to your dad. You just fucking tell me everything and I swallow it up and I eat your sins. That's what I want.

I want the shit that you've never been able to say to another human being. You come in, you dump it on me. And I just, oh. And dude, like I'm kind of getting the sin eater treatment now because at the murder. line this last weekend. Everyone was coming up and being like, dude, I love the symposium idea. I really like, you know, think it would be good because and then they tell me all their shit. So I'm like, I'm getting dumped on a little bit and I really want to take it to the max. Like this is my Marina Abramovich like come into the room and you can do whatever you want to me, but just metaphysically.

So dump your shit on me. verb just verbiage of all of the hate that you have you can yell it at me and i'll swallow it all right a rage room but instead of breaking stuff you just sit down and tell you that you suck well it's like one thing to scream it into a pillow but i really think that if you can say the shit that you've never said aloud to someone like while looking them in the eye that's like very that can be a pivotal thing yeah and like a if you don't have like a bunch of best friends or like a girlfriend or a partner like you can't tell people this shit and you just kind of like carry it around if you reek yeah if you reek if you stink yeah that room like look dude that room is going to you're not going to get the deposit back

the symposium is going to have to change cities every year it's work's going to get out Yeah, we're doing Oklahoma City and then Harrisburg and then Fresno. We'll finally find a linoleum supposium. Oh, yeah. Soon we'll just be in Serbia, dude. No extradition treaty. Yeah, the room's going to be terrible smelling. It's going to be just, you know, just the smoke off of emersional fires.

It's going to be tough. Oh, God. Well, I love you guys. Goodbye.