Chubby Behemoth - Bent Backwards

Episode Date: December 29, 2024

BONUS EPISODES: https://www.Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth   This week Patrick Richardson joins Nathan and Becker while Sam is in Japan for the holiday. It’s Pat’s birthday! Pat thinks the times he had COVID have made him dumber, has been having fun making Max a ghost, and is thinking a lot about building a giant robot. Nathan gets to be Pat sometimes, wants Pat to meet a vampire lady at the movies, and got too high to watch Joker 2. Pat misses his check ins on Dr. T’s day at work. Lund isn’t too happy about variable pricing.   Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   Mutiny Coffee: [e-mail]

All right. Now I sound good. Start it over. Let's start from the beginning. I ate 30 wings. Becker, how many wings have you eaten today? None. I haven't had... Have I had anything today?

I don't think I've had any food today. Okay. That's weird. No, I've been kind of mostly eating like one meal again, just because if it does make me feel shitty, it's easier for it to be once instead of like 11 a.m. for the rest of the day, feeling shitty. And it's still a toss up whether food is helps you or hurts you. Yeah, I mean, I've still definitely been doing better on the pills

But I've had more I've had a handful of rough days in the last month and it sucks hmm What are these pills if you are comfortable sharing? Yeah, I don't care they've got me on Ondin's Tetron, which is a Zofran. So it's like an anti-nausea for chemo patients and stuff like that. Don't you get to name this disease you have since like they can't figure it out. Don't you get to name it?

It's just gonna be long COVID. And then they put me on amitriptyline right before we went to Rome and they still got me on that. And it's like a nervous system, anti-anxiety weird thing that the GI doctor thought might help just like keep me asleep long enough that I don't wake up to puke. Like it'll help me fight through the sensation and that's helped a lot. That one's been huge. So in combination, they've been doing pretty good for the last couple months. Do you think it's linked to COVID?

They think, they think it's some kind of weird long COVID thing that's in my system. I go to like the immunologist next. Like two weeks. Damn. It's real. I'm pretty sure COVID made me dumber. I got it like three times and it definitely made me stupid.

Yeah. The brain fog, it affected my focus. I think. Yeah. You guys aren't good at anything anymore. I've been trying to edit this episode of wide world for 14 months and it's four months. It's just not coming together. No, it's not. It looks good. It does. I'm just supposed to do VO for the first episode of Colorado. Yeah.

Whoa. People have been shouting you out, dude. Uh, Sam and I talked about a woman, a couple of women being very upset with him. Sam's in Tokyo. We might as well explain. Yeah. And he was very confident that we would be able to record who cares. It's easy peasy. What's the time difference? 13 hours, who cares? That's literally nothing.

You'll be a little it'll be 11am your time midnight my time. We're both thriving. And it's like, okay, yeah, we'll see. And then and then he's like, dude, I'm in Tokyo. I'm not doing the fucking dude Podcasts I'm on vacation. I needed a vacation from this vacation and yeah, he's No, I figured we would hook up and so he's over there and We're over here

Yeah, to be fair. he's with his whole fucking family Yeah, it was a big will will they or won't they? will Japan let Mel in because Not only black I was more worried about also Korean Sam well, we oh because of mm-, because of the wide world feature of us in that certain bar, what we did over there. Yeah.

A Tokyo American club assassin is going to get him. Poof. Whoa. Holy shit. He gets shoved into a freaking bag and then a van. And he just frees him in the basement. And we don't hear from him. It's one of those little cave vans. And we don't hear from him.

It's one of those little K vans. So he's taking up the whole back. They would pork roast him. They'd put him on a steak and roast him. Oh, but yeah, the whole family I think is over there now. I think Mel's in there under a fake name. Pseudonym. Yeah, Johnny tsunami.

I can't remember what he went with something very American cartoon character. Johnny tsunami. What was it? Uh, Kevin earthquake. He was a brush more. Yeah. He was focused on his name's on- Mount Rushmore. His name's Mount Rushmore. A fun first name. Mount Rushmore.

Uh, Crubbered, I think, was in there. Is that what you're- I think he tried to go with David Crubbered. D.O. He wanted to be like, yeah, me and Emily, we're both D.Os. That's how we met. That's why we're over here. I've been trying to play Pokemon on my phone, like with an emulator.

I've been trying to play Pokemon on my phone, like with an emulator. I've been trying to play Pokemon on my phone, like with an emulator. I've been trying to play Pokemon on my phone, like with an emulator. I've been trying to play Pokemon on my phone, like with an emulator. I've been trying to play Pokemon on my phone, like with an emulator. I've been trying to play Pokemon on my phone, like with an emulator. I've been trying to play Pokemon on my phone, like with an emulator. I've been trying to play Pokemon on my phone, like with an emulator.

I've been trying to play Pokemon on my phone, like with an emulator. I've been trying to play Pokemon on my phone, like with an emulator. I've been trying to play Pokemon on my phone, like with an emulator. I've been trying to play Pokemon on my phone, like with an emulator. I've been trying to play Pokemon on my phone, like with an emulator. I've been trying to play Pokemon on my phone, like with an emulator. I've been trying to play Pokemon on and Emily, we're both DOs. That's how we met. That's why we're over here. I've been trying to play a Pokemon on my phone, like with an emulator, one of the OG ones. And it's just not as fun. The funnest part is coming up with names like gumbo and crubbered for your Pokemon. Uh, but yeah, you, you, uh, I didn't even, I forgot that it's your birthday.

I have it in my phone, but I hadn't gotten, I guess I got the notification and it came and went, you know, but thanks for doing this on your B day. I mean, I have a shitty, I have a shitty Christmas birthday. I'm used to just everyone being busy and not around. Yeah. You also probably got fucked on presents as a child. And my sister's is on Christmas. Whoa.

What is this? What is this phenomenon in your family? My mom's birthday is in March. And that's nine end of March. She likes to get it on her birthday is what he's saying. Yeah. Yeah. And a March plus nine. End of March. She likes to get it on her birthday is what he's saying. Yeah. Yeah. End of March plus nine.

Yeah. Nine months is a baby, baby time. I'm nine months after Valentine's Day. Generic. Boring. It is boring. It's hilarious if you know my very unromantic parents who hate each other, but.

It's the one time they, they, your mom feels contractually obligated. This is Valentine's day. My dad's enough chocolates in them. Parking brake broke and his car flew into the, the golf course. And that you inch and she had any accidentally fucked your mom and not how you were were conceived They like drunkenly told me once and my mom was like and then I had to like fuck him so he wouldn't go kill everyone She's and she was like I was pregnant like oh, that's cool. You were born out of sacrifice for the greater good yeah, and they'd just given up because they had like an sacrifice for the greater good. But yeah, and they'd just given up because they had like an astonishing amount of miscarriages and complicated births before me. So my mom was like, and then like six months after I

was like, fuck it, I'm done. I don't care. Got pregnant with your dumb ass. Oh, okay. Oh yeah. Your mom's parts were a real jungle gym, a real discovery zone. No child could, could escape intact. My mom's pussies in the SPN zone. Too many sharp edges in the ball pit. Yeah. I think it was like nine.

It was a lot. Whoa. Yeah. Damn. Oh, but yeah, shit. Shit. I went completely off track and I just got it back. Which was talking about Sam getting yelled at by those women. What did you yell that for? Because of talking about his wife being an abortion provider and then She one of them was like fuck you and it turns out because one of the women couldn't have children herself And so she didn't want to hear about abortion, which is insane. Obviously. Yeah

I had just wanted to say something based off of that. I think about a dude like oh People complimenting you about wide world Boy I think about a dude like, oh, people complimenting you about Wide World. Oh boy. Went through a little discovery zone play area myself. To get back to this fucking- Yeah, you seem fatigued mentally. Well, I'm stoned and I thought that it was something worth getting back to. So I was like, what was it?

And it was, yeah, just dude, people shouting you out for Wide World. So I was like, what was it? And it was, yeah, just dude, people shouting you out for wide world. Uh, so hurry up, but also do what you do. And you can't rush. I've jumped onto the second, it's in the balls and Sam's Tokyo hands. Tokyo court. Oh yeah. And then him, yeah, he gets arrested. He's like, that's my brother in law. And they're like, No, we're here for you. Because of your YouTube show wide world. Sanji is already like, say G has been in prison. So they lock, they lock them up next to a bearded. Gone.

Yeah, long. So it's been like, it's been eight months, but fingernails, long ass hair, rats living in his hair and beard. Mr. Caruso comes by, you know, and he's like, ah, Sam, welcome to your new home. Yeah, we finally meet. He's like, fucking Caruso's real. This season kind of has a Caruso too, Max.

Oh, yeah. It's been fun like turning him into a ghost. Max Ripple. Is he real? Find out on Wine World. No, uh, people, people love the editing. They're very excited because I also got to tell so many people that you know, we got in Colorado and Rome and Key West already like already shot and you just have to cut them up and sprinkle your

your magic dust on them. And it's exciting. People love them and more wide world. Yeah. I think they're going to like these new ones. People yelled that at me and humble more wide world. I kept saying it and I was like, shut up. I get it. I know.

I'm trying to do, do it on Instagram. We're figuring out a stream, how to streamline it to like, we got Joe and Bonzo working on it, like there. I think Joe's like organizing the Rome footage right now. A bunch of the, there was some auto feature of syncing audio and video that, that you were able to use for Rome, not Colorado. The tentacle. No, we bought those new mics and things, um, just before Key West. So that makes it so much easier.

It was just going to be. Okay. I also, yeah. Sinking everything up with time. Cool system. Yeah. And then I can just monitor all the lav mics on my phone with an app, which is really cool. I don't know if you listened to the episode where I talked about a guy asking if I was

... and saying that he loved Wide World Tokyo and then asking if I was a part of it, if I was in it. I was like, dude, all right, well, are you getting ahead? He was getting ahead the whole time, three episodes. He's getting blown and misses me completely. I think people just don't differentiate. Like they don't know who, sometimes I'm one, sometimes you're me. Oh yeah.

Well, I get to be you in Sam's joke about the blowjob machine. I'll tell you what, it's great to... God, Sam and I kept laughing about not only am I fat, gross, like he's always... He watches special or he's going to... Please watch the special or else he's going to blow his brains out. He's too fat to hang himself. So watch the special. It's not doing well at all. It sucks. I'm fat and now I have a complaint about a blowjob machine then I fall in love with it. And I check it. And he pays for it. But I bring a checked bag so that I have the blowjob machine and my CPAP machine because I'm so fat that I have CPAP machine and I'm so stupid that I

mix up the CPAP and the blowjob machine. Yeah. So yeah, it's like, what a great, what a great time. Yeah. I had that, I had that blow job joke. It was doing great. And then he just steals all the thunder and I was like, oh, he's going to like, let me use the CPAP part as a tag after this weekend.

Cause how else is he going to do this joke? But he just steals my whole joke. Yeah. And he didn't really steal my joke, but he stole the, he stole the subject of my joke. You let him take it. I would say more than him. I'm not actually mad.

You rolled over on your belly, showed him your belly. Excuse me. Yeah. And, and he, and he took it off. And now it's me. And then after the shows, I get to look at everybody and they get to be like, Oh, look at this dumb, fat idiot. You in wide world or what? Are you even in wide world, stupid? He just wants to create a fat, dumb guys that have sex machines. and also the CPAP narrative is totally out of control because I snore loud sometimes. I've tried to use that CPAP several times and there's no difference

in my sleep. I don't know. Sometimes it feels like it's acting. What? You wouldn't know. You're saying you didn't feel better because you slept better. Cause everyone all everyone's like, I changed my life. Yeah. I used to feel like a word straight. And it was like, no, I just wake up strangling myself with the cord, with the tube. Yeah. Sam said I was snoring a little bit, but it's not as cacophonous as yours.

Yeah, I'm allowed snoring. He said it was more cute, but he certainly wasn't into it. He woke me up to tell me I was snoring. And I was like, oh, thanks for the feedback, but I'll get right. I'll get right to work on fixing that. I did, I did a hundred crunches real quick. It's, I just want to focus on his sleep and not get once he starts getting bothered by it, it'll just snowball. It's just the sound of sleep. It's sawing logs.

Just a person sleeping. He wants a quiet, which is unfortunate for me because I like my tinnitus is so bad. I need something on and I don't want the TV when it's a hotel, uh, cable because of the commercials, but I ideally would have, uh, a podcast going in the dark room and he doesn't want shit. He wants night night. Uh, uh, everybody be quiet now. No humming, no whistling, no snapping along to a song in your head, a song in your heart.

When I share a room with Sam, I put my phone under my pillow on like one volume. Yeah. Sound transfers through the solid matter in your pillow better. So you'll be able to hear the show and Sam won't be able to hear it. As long as you let don't like sleep on your back. No, I'm usually stomach or side. Yeah. As long as you can get side in the mix and ear and jaw down on the pillow,

you'll be able to hear it. It works pretty great. He didn't know. I asked him, I was like the next day, like, do that bother you at all? And he's like, no, I couldn't hear shit. You're listening to broke down garage, weren't you? No. Yeah, I'm that guy. I'm the dude. Smelling your own farts. Well, I had to share a room with Donnie Townsend and he like just sits in the dark

drinking beer and listening to like live wean at full volume. Whoa. And I'm like, this isn't going to work, brother. He knows for art to see those crazy. No, it's for, uh, to, uh, on that thing. Say, all right, everybody's settled down. Just go see a movie. Just go see a movie. Who are you going with?

Um, I'm going by myself. I think one of the best things you can do, go to the movie by myself. I remember, I think Sam and I talked about it on a recent pod, the, the transition from being so concerned with everybody else's vision of you, opinion of you, you're terrified. Getting over that rules, and some people never get over it. And going to the movies by yourself, going to a concert by yourself are these things that some people would think are insane

because society deems things a group event, and then a solo event means you're a loser. You couldn't find a friend. You searched high and low. And what kind of psycho is judging you? Who are they? You're at a movie. Watch the movie, you fucking loser. Yeah. Yeah. Now, ideally you meet a vampire at Nosferatu, a hot vampire chick. She turns you all of a sudden you don't need sleep. You have twice as much time to edit.

Why? You're, you don't have to go outside during the day. You literally can't. Yeah. No, you could before and didn't want to. Now you can't. So it's perfect. The sad thing is my sleep schedule would change.

Not much. Yeah. You and Donnie would just be hanging out. The wean live. But that was the weekend that we were, we recorded the nightmare, bitch, the song from the catacombs in the hotel room, me, Donnie and Sam. Oh yeah.

And that's the hardest I've laughed in a long time. Coming up with the witches, the, the, the goblin's pants wet with stew. Human meat turned number two. Kik Holland just made a linoleum cut of Sam or that line. I don't know if it's supposed to be a picture of Sam or if it's just kind of a guy that Kik Holland does, but it was cool. Yeah, shout out to Nick Holland. He's a good bud. Is he Nick now? Did he get away from kick? I Think he's still kick on Instagram But hmm, I call him Nick IRL

Okay No, it's for ought to yeah, I want to watch that shit. Megan and I were going to watch the second Joker last night, but then I got not scared. I got very high in a way where I sometimes I get so high that I really don't want any violence or like fucked up shit. Gore, rape, like anything. I'm just like, I can't, I don't want that. You do that?

You get that high? Yeah, this is why I don't like horror movies or scary movies or like hardly ever watch a thriller. Yeah, I'm that level of high almost all the time. Where like, I just don't want that shit. I'm mad that there's not just like Will Ferrell comedies coming out from anybody anymore. I want mindless shit. Yeah, yeah. You have to go back in time.

Cause even, yeah, all of the, like all the big ones that are mindless are action and it's violence. Yeah. And it's not gore, but yeah, you're still like tanks and shit. Yeah. The military industrial complex, our tax dollars, uh, going to iron man's. I literally was trying to watch tenant the other day and I was too high. Oh yeah. Yeah. I want to be high to watch tenant, but you can't be too high because it was scary. It was scary. Just like the tone, not like all the violence, but like the, uh, like the Stopean tone of it just like made my stomach turn and I was like, I don't like this. Yeah.

Right now. How high are you going to be for Nosferatu? Um, I don't, I got off some antidepressants and my weed tolerance is like much lighter now. So I don't, I'm trying not to get too high because I can get really too high quickly now. Yeah. But when you're in a theater, it's so overwhelming. You can like let it roll over you. True.

I think that's true. I think it's different when there's other people around and I don't know. I can be pretty high, but I want to remember the movie too. Yeah. Well, I got to remember the movie too. Yeah Well, I got can't get so high that you black out I don't know Oh, you mean like you won't remember any of it because you were thinking about eight other things and not paying attention Yeah, you were high as fuck. Yeah. Well, I was gonna say Sam and I got high as fuck to watch smile to plenty of gore and

Like crazy mind fuck but it was awesome. So it just depends. I was Not that kind of high last night or else we would have watched Joker 2 I think we're gonna watch it tonight except Megan. I think it's sleeping watch strange darling instead. Oh Yeah Yeah, I want to have a much better time. I got well it's kind of fucked up. Yeah. What's it about? Um, like a murderer, a serial murderer chasing after a guy, a lady, but it's like all the time is all switched around like pulp fiction style. And it's really stylized. Oh shit.

Okay. A bunch of Dick Dale. What were you going to say, Becker? You got way too high and went to Arby's and they called the cops. I put on that Jason Bateman thriller on Netflix. Oh yeah. What's it called? that Jason Bateman thriller on Netflix. Yeah. Thinking like, uh, fuck it's some plain reference. Carry on.

It's called carry on carry on my wayward son. And I thought it was going to be like, like, cause they were like framed as like a Christmas thriller. So I was going to be like, this is going to be no more stressful than a diehard. I got like way too high and had to like pause it and do a couple of laps around the living room. It was like making me, it was making me really anxious. Hands on the head. Yeah. Watching it like literally on the edge of my seat, like not putting any of my thigh or back into the chair at all

I watched both the home alone. I watched both the home alones on Christmas and those are Christmas thrillers. Those movies are so good Fuck yeah Yeah Sam and I watched the first one When we were in another scoop I ain't driving Yeah, that's very funny. Also, yeah, I told Sam if he ate as much as like whatever he has during when he's watching the gangster movie, it's so much ice cream, he would have puked everywhere. Like he would have been so sick. But he also had whatever else I know he has like like gets pizza chips, but yeah, the ice cream.

It's like 12 scoops. There's that move. The movie, even filth angels with even filthier souls. The second one is so demented and evil. You got scared. It's crazy. You got some pre 9 11 pre Columbine, uh, comedy, uh, Christmas thriller movies for you.

That's some good stuff. Kids playing around with gun noises. What? That wouldn't be in a movie now. Him like playing that movie with the Tommy gun in it. That's some pre 9 11. No, they still wouldn't have a kid like pretending that the bit was as he's going to shoot up the pizza man.

Yeah, because then it would be too real. Like there'd be a lot less humor. He would get in Chicago. Yeah.'d be a lot less humor. He would get in Chicago. Yeah. In the burbs of Chicago. Yeah. Super nice. Chief Keefe would be the kid.

Now I want to see it. I would watch that. Did you see the second joker? No, I don't plan on it. Me neither. See, everybody hated it, but then I saw somebody say that it was actually good. So I was like, oh, oh, hello. So maybe it's good.

Who said it was good? I think, well, there was the backlash because people didn't know it was going to have musical numbers in it. I don't know if it counts as a musical, if there's songs the whole time, or if there's just a couple, but I think that really threw people, but it doesn't mean that it was poorly done. Didn't the guy just make it to piss off the studio and get out of his contract? Yeah.

Like a matrix four thing. He didn't want to do a second one at all. Actors on set were, people are quoted, Tim Dillon talked about it, how they were standing there filming the scene and he was like, what the fuck is going on? This is the worst thing that's ever been made. And one of the other character actors was like,

this is all I do and I can't understand what's happening right now. This is terrible. Ariel Fred, he got fingered situation. Huh? Yeah. Well, I thought that they set out to make a bad movie, what's happening right now. This is a real Freddie got fingered situation. Well, I thought that they set out to make a bad movie, but it ended up being good. And that they were mad. I don't think it's a good movie.

No. And when I want to fuck with Megan, I put it on as if, uh, oh yeah, we'll just throw this on. Let's put on something good that we've seen. It's like, uh, yeah, Freddie got fingered for sure. No, I've never been a Tom green guy. I respect the guy, but he's never really saying that my heart. Oh, I love Freddie got fingered. You're too young.

You've been zoomer pilled. Yeah, I'm the millennial zoomer. I think I freaked out. Listen, I think I freaked out some zoomers in Milwaukee because we took it was these like young white kids, white guys, there were like two or three of them, they looked like they were probably like 22 or whatever. We take a group picture and Sam says something like,

look at us, huh, this is pretty good. And I go, yeah, white guys, right? I said, we're back. And I said, something else like, finally, finally we're gonna start winning again. And it's like, I don't know, I like, finally, finally we're, we're going to start winning again. And it's like, I don't know. I guess if, if you didn't know me, but they had just seen my, that's obviously satire. I know, but they had, and they had just seen my act, which has nothing like that.

So I thought it was funny and they seemed a little scared. They need to watch. They need to get some media literacy. They need to watch. They need to get some media literacy. They need to watch starship troopers. A real satire film. We watched con air not a couple of nights ago. That was pretty solid. Yeah.

Ridiculous. It doesn't, uh, drag really. It's pretty, pretty good beats. Pretty decent pacing. Uh, I think that does a lot. What's it called? What's his name? Pretty, pretty good beats. Pretty decent pacing. Yeah. I think that does a lot. What's it called? What's his name?

Not Schumacher. I don't know. I don't know either. The other guy. That came out when I was young enough that I was unaware of anything other than like Nick Cage has long hair and this is crazy. I'm trying to watch all of David Lynch's movies before he dies. Is he on his deathbed?

I think he might be. Did he quit doing the weather report? I don't know. I don't even know if he quit blasting six. I highly doubt that. Oh yeah. I was wrong about. Oh, yeah, I was thinking maybe Michael Bay did it, but he did not.

Oh, it does kind of seem like a Bay flick, huh? Yes, just dude Simon West. I don't know who the fuck he is. Mr. West is Kanye's brother. You know, this freaking guy, Simon Birch directed Con Air. Plastic spit cup. Plastic spit cup. I can't stop saying that. Out of the three song seeds that you planted that one sprouting first. Yeah. Okay. The problem. I don't know if I, which one I liked the most of the three kissing somebody in the hospital and then plastic spit cup.

And then what was the plastic spit cup was just a different thing I've been doing. I had the ones in the video are kissing, kissing in the hospital, having three mean uncles and building a giant robot that flies you around by the hips and you might have sex with it. That's an ode to your blow job machine. Kind of. I'm obsessed with the idea of building a big robot that carries you around. I don't know why.

I think I'm a little autistic. It's what Elon's doing right now. Building robots that will fly us by holding us by the hips. To kill all the mutants. He's building big purple robots to kill all the mutants. It flies. building big purple robots to kill all the mutants. It flies. He the robot flies horizontally, but you're held vertically.

I'm a bug shield for him. And then he's getting, getting bent backwards because he's holding you around the waist and you're going 200 miles an hour. Folding backwards, getting scorpioned by the air. But I have a boner. He's steering with my boner. Standing on you with his arm reached around, steering with your boner is very, very good. His head's right behind your ass. So you're shitting in pain and fear.

Well, he runs on my shit. He fueled up all my shit. So he swallows it. Oh no. You have a little hole. Uh, yo, you attach. And he looks like yo yo ma. The Android is yo yo ma.

Yeah. It's like a 10 times. Tuxedo. Yeah. The cello strapped to his back. If his hand, if the hands are huge, the cello has to be nuts. Imagine what that thing sounds like. He flies with that in one hand and you in the other he's late to a gig.

You're getting bent to shit. I have to play as a Trevi fountain. You get, you get pickpocketed because you're bent backwards. You can't fucking stop the guy. I started just having to walk like that. Bent. It fixed my hump. Oh yeah. The hump is long gone.

Mm hmm. Ooh. Oh yeah. The hump is long gone. Mm hmm. Ooh, I had back problems like starting with those comedy work shows. I had like two weeks. Like my back was tweaked. That was hell. You were all fucked. You couldn't hang out. I couldn't understand how that would radicalize you to kill a CEO for sure.

Yeah. Oh yeah. Or dude, like weekly conversations with insurance and disability people that take in the runner hours each time. Yeah. Yeah. You're on your way. Mm hmm.

Yeah. You gotta take the power back, Becker. I sent you the ticket master headquarters. That's what you want gone. Ticket master. Ticket master imply that we're their ticket slaves. Whoa. I would say, think about that.

So we cancel them. Then we murk him. I assume it's a dude. But who knows lady ticket master ticket mistress. The ticket ticket dominatrix. Completely possible. So probably change their name to like, Hewlett to the pole in Xfinity.

Dude, wherever the fuel guy is, he's safe. What's the etymology of that? Did they just look for like a bunch of letters that no one could Google? Human fuel. It's gotta be. It is. It's like everything you need. It's meal replacement and powder form.

That's so gay. It's still a thing. Oh, you can still get it. You can still get it. They keep refining the recipe. I should send mine in and be like, look, if this shit were good, I would have eaten it by now. I would have made a shake or two, but guess what? I've got six pounds of it. I need to refresh or else I'm out or else I'm factor for life.

That's why I was asking if you remembered Reskin doing it because he like was telling me about it one night when me and him and Adrian were hanging out and he was really selling like, man, I feel so great. All the health benefits, this, that, and the other. And then finally I was like, what's it taste like? And just very quickly without an attitude adjustment at all. He was like, oh, it's really bad. Yeah.

And like rolled right through. I was like, so you drink it twice a day and that's 90% of your food and it tastes bad. Like you've just made peace with that. And he was like, just with my lifestyle, it's working really good. And I was like, yeah, I could never. Where's he get his serotonin from? I get mine from chicken wings. He, what he probably got into Jack and it or sex guy.

It's gotta go somewhere. I think video gaming. Oh somewhere. I think he was video gaming. Oh yeah, God, he was streaming. I did his stream and it was like, holy shit, what an overwhelming sensory experience. Yeah. So many little icons and messages and dings and bings and bongs.

I was like, what the fuck? It's kind of stand up for like cowards or shut ins, but it's also kind of like babysitting. God, I wish that woman who couldn't have kids would have stayed home. It was not stream. Yeah, that's it. Was it was nuts to be like, I can't have kids. So for a comedian to talk about his wife's journey, uh, her decision to provide abortions for adult women is redonkulous and frankly, I should sue

all of you and then she wanted a shot of tequila to calm her ass down before she drove home. Get out of here. She got a little half shot of tequila for the road. I hope that Nosferatu is at my screening of Nosferatu so I can really have a word with him about biting people's necks. Yeah, what the hell? I don't like the way you bite people's necks. Did you?

Oh yeah, before I forget, Sam, or so I was watching Dark Side. Before I forget that I am a human. I'm gonna forget. Fuck. Uh, fuck. Before I could stand, I was a full thing. Slipknot. Oh, slipknot. Yeah. No.

Fuck. Sam. What did I say? Sam. I said, Oh yeah, Sam. Mentally you're in the discovery zone. There's no survivors. You're in the ball pit.

God damn it. Discovery zone ruled. I don't think I ever believe some bounds. Was that what you weren't allowed? No, they were two different things. I think they had both in Vegas. Nice. Uh, I could be wrong though.

Was it, did one buy the other or did one turn into the other? No, they were competitors. I think insurance put them both out. What city was the abortion lady in? Kids were dying like crazy getting like seriously injured Abortion lady was in Milwaukee, west of Milwaukee Dom yeah but as she's

Complaining a Dude was like bro. That was the best shit ever. I came last night and I had to come back which is like Bro, that was the best shit ever. I came last night and I had to come back, which is like the two very different, well, beanie attack, beanie, very different responses to the same show. Normal comedy show response and psycho lady response. And yeah. How dare you, how dare Emily really, you know? Yeah.

Sam's just the messenger. Emily's the problem. I love men can't have kids. So why would Emily help other women do the exact opposite of what this lady would do if she were knocked up? She had a little bit bun in her oven. The last thing she would do is go to old doctor boot to the boot to the tits.

Emily would get home and I'd be like, how many babies did you kill today? M and she's just one. That's not enough. That's not a full day's work. I miss knowing how many babies were killed. How many less babies today? One less criminal out on the street. One less pickpocket at Trevi Fountain.

Well Yo-Yo Ma's a great diversion. A giant 10 times the size robotic yo yo ma. Yeah, that's a great distraction. No matter what the situation is. Mostly because his giant cello vibrates your body and stuns you. So you can't move. Huge hands, the cello even bigger. If you've never slept in yo yo ma's hands, you haven't slept. Just watches you sleep.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I was going to say this earlier. Sam fucking got me. I don't know if you saw his Instagram story, but Duddy got a taste of the strawberry fucking candy Yeah, they went to the grape store the sugar covered fruit stand and I'm watching Dave Enjoy a delicious treat but then Sam hits him hits me hits everyone one strawberry candy

Oh, but also, fuck. I remember it. I'm watching dark side of the ring. It's I'm, I'm autistic. I'm, I'm blasting Megan's sister in law's family. They can't make eye contact. They can't ask me about comedy, but I watched Dark Side of the Ring constantly. I've seen each episode a dozen times, but last night, it pays off because I'm watching the Ultimate Warrior one and

Eric Bischoff is talking about how the Ultimate Warrior, you know, changed his name to Warrior because Vince McMahon and WWF owned the name, the ultimate warrior. And so he couldn't go elsewhere and use that name. So he changed his name to warrior. So I fucking Photoshop the caption of Eric Bischoff saying that. And I make Eric Bischoff say that he changed his name to ghoul. Not not the ghoul. Not Sam the ghoul talent. He changed his name legally to ghoul. And I sent it to Sam. And it was one of those things

where it's like, I hope he likes this as much as I did. Because I was like, hold, you know, it took me like 10 minutes. Yeah, change these three screenshots. And I'm like, trying to make it look good. I'm like, good enough. You're a meme maker. I hope he I hope he get Yeah, I hope he gives a shit. And man, yeah, it was a great. It was a great response. He said today that he had been talking about me to Emily for 20 minutes and she was clearly over it. I would imagine a big part of that was either us being over there, our adventures

over there, how much better I am at being in Tokyo than everybody else that's over there with him right now. Or the meme, the B the Bishop thing, pretty good. The ghoul thing. I did not think that he was going to actually film that ghoul video and man, he loved it. And then he kept doing ghoul stuff on the way home on the way to the hotel. Where did it come from? Is it from an episode? I just know he literally, we had, he had these long sleeve shirts that that somebody super talented like made this that design of like I don't know if he calls it the Marauder but it's like a yeah, like a goblin you know warrior something.

Yes. Yeah. Like fucking Dio, like a Dio war, you know, Dio cover album cover. He had long sleeve of the sleeves of those, but he was running out. And so he wanted to make shirts of some kind and the, uh, to have, cause we, he, he ran out of most of the long sleeves, like Thursday and we were there Friday and Saturday as well. So the first night he comes up with, uh does some Packers logos for most of them, Sam T and then the Packers logo. And then he did like a couple of drawings, one of like a Santa looking guy,

one of like a hobo looking guy. And then the next night, or no, Friday night after selling some of those, he goes, I know what I'm gonna do for the next shirts.'m going to draw a ghoul. And I was like, okay. And he draws Sam, he says Sam T and then ghoul underneath the face. And I thought, oh, he's going to do a couple of those. Like he was super high. He had like the picture of the ghoul face in his mind, because he's stone and we're giggling or whatever And so I thought he'd do a couple like that and then move on to something else. Nope

Just ghoul all night Friday night and then Saturday's up early. It's not up early, but immediately starts making more ghoul shirts So how's he making them? he just bought he ordered a bunch of white shirts from Target and Mark paint markers and drew them up and and then did the video was like, Oh, AJ, after the show, we're going to do a video. And I was like, there's no way he won't want to do it. As soon as he got off stage. All right, we're going to do the thing. I was like, holy shit. It's still a thing. I'll see the version I made with the Lord of the Rings in the background.

No, damn it. I'll, uh, you don't check the group chat. You bastard. What do you mean? He's not in that group chat. Oh, you're not in the wide world. Oh, that's my bad. Fucking getting boxed out. I knew it. Well, we, my bad. Fucking getting boxed out. I knew it.

Well, we, I think you were removed for Key West so we wouldn't be bothering the shit out of you. That makes sense. Yeah. Okay. You gotta get me back in there. Well, my bad. I should have checked, but that makes sense.

Cause you've let us sort of feed it. Well, I'll send you the edit of Wide World. Yeah. Yeah, no, I don't, I wouldn't have wanted any of those. Where are you guys? I'm in the bathroom. I'm also in a bathroom. I made a tree in the park, my bathroom, that one's from Sam.

I'm getting more Turkish delight. Did you go as good? Oh yeah. That was. That was a bunch of Turkish delight. Sam got some the other day that was grapefruit and it looked really good. Becker spent what, three 10? No, it was more than that.

It was like every night we were there. I went like nine out of the 10 nights we were there. Not my Turkish ass being delighted. How much were you sharing? A lot. I was given, I was given away at least half of it. It was a part. I think I ate at least one each of those nights, probably. Yeah.

A chunk. Oh, we, we have the, we had the breakfast pizza at Walmart today. Brave. It's good. It's oh, but it's, but it's gotten you. That was what I thought got me at the beginning of this. It's what gave you long COVID. Yeah.

That was like the last thing I had. It's not that good. I started to have runs of really bad days. So I blamed that for awhile, but it wasn't that, that pizza rules. Pretty good, Pat. Maybe you give it a whirl, give it a whirl away. And the, in the Walmart deli. Yeah.

Yeah. It was not, it can't be the Walmart brand, but they have a couple of their other types of the, that brand of pizza and it's a biscuit crust sausage, egg, cheese. And the crust was pretty damn good. It was a little thick, little more gravy. You make a little extra gravy. I think you, you, you're good. Yeah. Yeah. You want a little more, a little more moisture, but the crust was good. It was fucking good. Oh, so this is a frozen pizza. It's a refrigerator.

It's in the deli. It's refrigerated. Yeah. Walmart market side. I haven't met a Walmart in a long time. Oh, you're boycotting. No. Do you have Trader Joe's up there in Greeley?

We know we don't. We have a spruce. Nice. Oh damn have a spruce. Nice. Oh damn. A spruce. You got a sprouts. I got a fucking Safeway because it's closest. Yeah that'll boy. We have a Walmart in the Safeway.

The Safeway is pretty cool. Good for everything but produce, but wildly more expensive than Walmart. The Safeway Bakery is pretty good. Dude, I'm not going to shoot a Walton. I'm going to shoot whoever came up with the search, the variable pricing, whatever they're calling it. Yeah. I didn't think about it that much today.

We went to Walmart, got that pizza. We got a couple of things. We're moving, so we just want a couple of things. She needs Megan needs stuff from Uteny. I didn't think about it that much this time. I think because I can't, I can't handle it. I will snap if every time I go to Walmart, I think about the fucking evil- The price changes? changes search. Yeah, they're all it's all digital. digital price tags, so that they can adjust them as needed.

According they say according to supply and demand. And the example is that when it's hot, you might pay more for ice cream. And it's like that's fucked up. Like, do you think that sounds like a normal thing to say when you're so massive? Just giant, you know, just this fortress of fucking groceries. And they're like, Yeah, sometimes you're going to pay a little more for stuff. And it's like, when will we pay less to and say, Well, we haven't figured that part out yet. But and it's just, it'll probably somehow make more waste. Rather than diminish waste. It'll make more waste. People will buy less if it's way more. Yeah. They've already

quadrupled the price of food in the last fucking five years. Yeah, it sucks. Fast food is not even worth it anymore. It's really not. It's insane that you can go to like a sit down restaurant for maybe three to $4 more. Yeah. And the quality isn't like even staying the same shitty. It just keeps getting worse and more expensive. Yeah.

The McRib that a couple of weeks ago made me want to mangi on. Made me want to start blasting. It was so bad. You know, like it's been bad. I know, I know it's straight up been bad, but the one that I had, I was just like, it made me, it wasn't, I wasn't even mad. I was, I was mad at myself. Who are you really fucking mad at right now?

That's usually who I get mad at after I eat fast food. Fool me once. Shame on you, McDonald's. Fool me 40 times in the last 15 years. You son of a bitch. Yeah, it all sucks. Not chosen McDonald's. That's just McRib.

40 McRibs. No, I haven't gone back. That's your guys's go to McDonald's that's just McRib 40 McRibs. No, I haven't gone back. What's your guys's go to McDonald's order? I have a little cheeseburgers and maybe a fancy Mc fancy chicken or two little kind of over the dollar McChickens. Cause they're just kind of nothing. So you got to get the fancy, right? But I don't want two of those.

Cause they're $7 each. So yeah, two double cheeseburgers, one fancy chicken. I haven't been there in over a year. I usually get three big max. Nice. Nice. I like to get a, I like to get a 10 piece nugget, maybe a double chain 34 piece nugs.

Or not. Yeah. If it's your birthday, get chicken wings on your birthday. Cause they cost $60. Yeah. Yeah. Wings are tough. They are.

Wings are not coming back. We're going to need something else. It's crazy. They used to like just fucking, you couldn't sell them back in the day. When? Like they were just like not that Buffalo bar started seasoning them instead of putting them in soup broth. Just proof that humans are dumb.

It's all about branding. Yeah. Big push sauce from chicken people. I'm like, we got to get rid of these wings. It's also a huge indictment of how sad Buffalo was in the seventies. Cause they were like, it's called out and I don't want to go anywhere. Let's just cook the soup bones. Five super bowls, no rings. Yeah. And then served it to their patrons and they were all like, this is fantastic. They were right. But just the sadness of doing that is really,

yeah, really desperate. Buffalo sauce. The flavor has been so bastardized. Like there's so many shitty Buffalo sauces now. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They overcomplicate them. I like, I want that vinegar better. You guys They overcomplicate them. I like creamy Louisiana better. You guys are different, but the same. Not so different after all. We have to meet in the middle. You can't go to wide right anymore for your perfect wings. Oh no. RIP. Yeah. RIP indeed. The new burger spot in town is pretty decent Lund.

What? Sanchez? Sanchez. Yeah. I had a burger there. They gave me the wrong burger, but it was still fucking great. So I had the wrong food and I still wasn't mad. That's dumb.

People are posting on Facebook, uh, early and often about their misadventures at Sanchez and say, God, just shut the fuck up, go there once a year. Like you're going to do. Yeah. And you don't have to comment about it. It took forever. Well, yeah, they've been open two days and it's a bunch of Trinidadians learning to work for the first time.

So it's a bunch of 12 year olds. Yeah, it really was. It was a bunch of 12 year olds. Yeah, it really was. It was a bunch of like 17 year old kids, I think. Like right past where you need parental permission to get a job. Not young enough. Not a girl, not yet a woman. There was a, I think the gal that was in there was older. I seen her around town, but there were a bunch of young fellas working in the kitchen and running orders

around. Yeah. Nine year olds on Healey's. Yeah. Tricycles little tricycle with your lemonade on there. Dressed like the saw puppet. People commenting, where is this? It sure would be nice if I could find, if I knew where this was and acting like it's a failure on the part of the restaurant. How big is it? There's two, it's as one street, isn't it? There's four streets. There's four streets in our town.

There's a dozen places. And also every flyer, you know, everybody does like the big flyer with all the info, with too much information. They're they're they're posting from the account you know the Facebook account that has all of the right information, but these people are all 80 or You know a paint based diet instead of fuel. They had a lot of Dutch boy as a little kid or The Dutch boy That didn't sound right. I think that was a paint.

I don't know. I think Dutch boy is a paint. Yeah. Little Dutch boy. Yeah. Bring me some little Dutch boy. I want a little butch boy. But yeah, no, they're all, they're all nuts.

Little Dutch boy. Maybe that's, was it a lead based paint? Oh yeah. Yeah. Dutch boy paints. Oh yeah. It's got all the lead. This little Dutch boy killed 19 people because of all the lead in the paint.

Uh, asbestos guy. Ooh. More of an asbestos guy. Ooh. Now, we have to say goodbye and thank you and happy birthday. Thank you. It's a pleasure. I love you. I love you all.

I love you. I love you too. You mentioned patrons. If this is the free one, might as well, right? Might as well be. We don't have an ad so no ad I said factor. I said Huell there was enough free advertising Little Dutch boy Dutch boy

I'm gonna have the Nosferatu people send you some money for the promo the kind the pros huff Dutch boy I'm gonna be watching the nuggets game on my phone in Nosferatu Come on, man. Not if there's anybody behind you. I don't care how low you turn the brightness down There's somebody behind you. You can't watch the nugs. No This nuggets game is a barn burner someone just texted me last night or the bronco calcium. I mean, oh, yeah might have gone to OT Kelsey was at the Nuggets game last night one lost to the calves was like 149 to 135 That's a crazy game to see live. Oh the Broncos games in OT shit. All right patreon.com

Chubby behemoth only five bucks a month gets you a free episodes. Thanks for listening to the free one Won't you fork over five bucks go to patreon? There's four years of episodes Patrick's on some of them Becker's on most of them getting in there getting involved RIP Sam T paramedics are working on him now. I just got a alert from TMZ. Bye everybody. Happy new year