Chubby Behemoth - Bonus SwapCast! Fancy Lad Podcast s7ep3: Happy Dazed w/ Sam Tallent

Episode Date: October 19, 2025

Hey everyone! this is Sam on the Fancy Lad Podcast, these dudes rock and we wanted to share it with you. There is still going to be a new free episode and patreon coming tonight, it'll just be pretty late in the evening.  GHOUL! -Becker    Bigzo & Tom Tweak are BACK in the Fancy Lad Podcast studio with stand-up Sam Tallent to talk about millionaires, tight 5's, and the punk ethos. All this!

Hello, dearest podcast listener. It's me, Sam Talent. You're a begrudging, but loving leader. I'm coming to you live from my home here in Michigan. Becker's here with me. We had a great weekend of shows here. And next weekend we're in Vermont at the Vermont Comedy Club. That'll be cool. This is a little, we didn't know what to do with this. My friends at Fancy Lad were nice enough to have me on their podcast when I did Boston earlier this year. and they lost the video, so we've been debating what the move is. But we're just going to put it out here for free. Shout out to Bigzo and the boys over there at Fancy Lad. I've always been a big fan of their stuff since the old Coliseum videos. And me and Bigzo connected online, and he came out and did, well, he didn't do stand-up, but he did attend my stand-up show, and we hung out. And he's the man and look for more Sam Talent.

slash wide world slash fancy lad slash shabby behemoth co-labs in the future but here's just a fun little episode I did with the skateboard mutants and we have it a where Lund is getting the free episode this week with Rand Barnacloe so you have two free episodes and the Patreon's coming after the Broncos game East Coast time because I am not missing a goddamn snap but I love you guys and comes to me in Vermont and then Denver. God, come to those shows in Denver. And then next year, I have some real, we need to really spike the football, open the wound, put salt in their shows, some real gauntlets being thrown down with some certain comedy clubs. So I'll be asking everyone to activate. But until then, I'll see you at Magoobies as well. Magoobies. Love y'all.

Fancy Ladd, podcast, Fancy Ladd, podcast, gonna talk my friends, gonna share a thought, gonna have a laugh, that's what I thought. Fancy Lad, the Fancy podcast, Fancy Lad, Fancy Lad, Podcast. Yeah. And we are back. Oh, baby, we are back. But where the fuck are we right now? You know, I'd love to say that's a hotel somewhere in Cambridge, but. It's actually our beloved Fancy Ladd studio.

Oh, okay. No, I was just confused. I mean, it looks like the studio, but there's another person here, so that's why I was confused. I know, and quite frankly, I'd like to talk about how we're back for another five minutes, but I think we're on a time. We could. We could. I mean, this isn't the, and we are back podcast, though. I mean.

It could be. Can you guess who's back? Besides us? Back again? Is it shady? shade he's back yes yes yeah tell a friend yeah what who the fuck said that go ahead tell somebody as long as they're a friend all right so trusted ally i mean we just got to get to this because you know zbo's freaking out in the corner we got to introduce our very special guests oh yeah

sam talent guys glad to be here thank you big fan my god yeah not of the pod which hasn't come out in 2023 based on my research but damn it of the company it's That's fantastic. It's so crazy. I will let you know that we have diehard shooters out there for the pod. Awesome. There's only a few of them. Yeah. But they message me every week. When is it coming back? Right. When they, when they recharge their phone. Yeah. Yeah. When they go to the library and plug it in, that's the first text they sent. Yeah. Yeah. Well, hey, I want to be a writer for this podcast. And if it comes out by yearly, guess what? It's an honor to be the one guest this year. Yes, of course. Well, I did take some notes for you because you are a very special guest. Oh, well, thank you. I mean, I hope you don't mind. I'm just going to look at my mind.

I love when skateboarders do homework. I'm sure you guys love it. Exactly. Hold on one second. Okay. I mean, Bart Simpson always said homework was cool. So it says here that you dabble in something called black comedy. Yeah.

So how many Ice Cube movies have you been in? I was in, are we there yet? I played the van. I know if you remember. but they rode around in me. I thought I recognized me from that. Yeah. All right.

And then every now and then I would be like, would they do my face on the hood and I'd say, we're not there yet. They had that famous line where you're like, hunk, hunk. Yeah, where I say diesel only. Yeah. Yeah. And, um, okay.

And besides, can I, can I tell everyone what's going on? Because not only did old Nick here open up a book to do a site gag on the audio-only podcast. He also opened up his book, wrong way the first time and he didn't get to the drawing of a black cock that he had so he had to flip it over and start the bit from the top which i appreciate your commitment and and do you want to let them know yes what i've been doing since oh so now he is drawing what i'm assuming to be long coarse pubes on the scrotum those are pubies yeah those are pubies if i've ever seen

them and you have oh plenty brother plenty of times you see my face Listen, I don't know what everyone's talking about. I have literally just a list of detailed notes here. So it says you were born May 2nd, 1987. Is that right? I see it written right there. You're in the vignage of the shaft. Yeah, right.

Yep. And I'm a Torres, fellas. Oh, big dick, Torres. Not in these pants. Okay, and it says, okay, well, you know what, I'm going to, they get the gag, okay? They get the gag, okay? I didn't mean to bury the bad, but it was so delightful when he was upside down the first time. And then you just unfazed, flipped it over, and you're like, I still got it.

No one saw that. So my next question is it says you do blue comedy. Is that you just perform for a bunch of police officers? Yeah, of course. You got it back the blue. You got it back the blue. I mean, I saw all your bumper stickers yesterday at the show. You guys like the Punisher?

Oh, absolutely. Who doesn't, right? Yeah. And also, do you think that people should be reminded when to be respectful? I mean, sometimes they need to know. If there's one thing about fancy ladd, it's you guys love following the rules. I know that about you guys. Conformity is an obsession with us.

You know that. No, I was actually in the blue-collar comedy tour. Oh, were you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I played Larry the Cable guy for a while. Ah, yeah. Yeah. That's good.

It's cool, man. Yeah. And you could see where the bits going. No, no, no, please. Take me on this world of illusion. How many more drawings are in there? Let me see. Let me see.

Well, actually a lot, but they're mainly just drawings that my friend Eric did of cats and people skateboarding. Oh, nice, yeah. Very crudely. Look at that. Big Sharpie on those pages. Yeah. But this one I did special. I'm very flattered.

It's very lifelike. Yeah. It looks like a sad cock, like one who was in war. I was thinking, I was like, I don't think he wants me to draw an erect cock. No, no. That would be disrespectful. Ruin the bit. That'd be insane.

And my last. one was you do surreal comedy so what do you tell a bunch of jokes about dolly and feliney am i right people this is good stuff this is good stuff i mean you're no selling them but hey we're cooking exactly we had to break the ice somehow mm-hmm consider it broken having the legendary stand-up comedian sam tallant on the fancy lead podcast here in person tom right i appreciate you guys almost coming to my hotel room last night there was a lot of conversation about how best to facilitate this And you were nothing but generous and understanding. But I'm glad we got to do it in the real spot.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, this is good. I got to go to the compound this morning. Oh, nice. I'm old oven dropped me off and a souped up sieve who couldn't go over a speed bump. So it took an extra seven minutes to get from Brookline and Jamaica plane. But yeah, it was cool to see the house, you know. Did you go on the trampoline?

No, no, no. He wouldn't let me inside. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We got that big trampoline inside the kitchen. Right, yeah. I was wearing like a thin blue line shirt, too, though.

Oh, that makes sense. It was actually a fat blue line shirt when I wore it, but yeah You can have that Put that in your book, thank you. Thank you, I will Yeah Actually your friend Misha Yeah He was coming up to me at the show last night

He was asking me If I was touring with you Because he said that our body types are so similar He assumed that we were related So I didn't know if you should be insulted Or if I should be insulted Why would I be insulted You're a cool broad-bodied man

Exactly, that's what I'm saying power to the people You don't know what you and Southie meant to the fat lurkers out there, man What did Southie mean to them? Remember Southie from PJ Wonderful Horrible Life? Yeah, but he was a skinny guy. Who was the fat one in there? Remember the fat guy in the flat cap? Southie I would not call fat.

No, I mean, Schizo wasn't fat either. He wore a little scally cap occasionally. It wasn't Schizzo. I swear to God that Southie had some more pounded. on it. I think you think of Southie, but I'll take another look. I'll take another look. I mean, it's because he's beating everybody up that you probably assumed he was bigger. Yeah, he was like Mike Fullow. You better, you better pray he doesn't hear this. Otherwise, you're getting the ultimate wedgey. Look, Southie, you can flip me upside down

and dump me in a porta-potty, brother. It'd be an honor. There you know how much, you know how much accolades that would get me from four people from my past? I know. He should, he should go to Comic-cons and do that, honestly. He should. He might already be doing it. Yeah. But Speaking, I mean, you brought up PJ Ladd's Wonderful for Horrible Life, and we got to get into it. I mean, you mentioned somehow that PJ Ladd's Wonderful for Horrible Life inspired your first comedy special, which I'm just wanting to know how the hell is that even possible. So I grew up in a really small town and the skateboard kids, they put a skate park in our, in our like baseball diamond area when I was in eighth grade. So now there was a place in town where you could just go get weed in a town of like 800 people. It was a huge, huge advancement for scumbag technology.

Yeah, right. So, and in the town I grew up in, like, you had your hicks, you had your jocks, you had your skaters. But also, we've all known each other since kindergarten. So, like, we all came from, like, the same pod, but then in third grade when someone starts being a rodeo guy, and then another guy gets into Depeche mode in seventh grade, it's like, you want to call this guy gay, but you've been friends since you were in the same seed. So there was none of these, like, weird, like, you know, schisms, like, the parties we had in the field, everyone was there. But the people who's smoked weed were the skateboarders. Yeah. And I was smoking weed as, like, the president of the student council. So when I left our small town, I moved to Denver with Krusty and Bonzo, the skate rats. So, like, I was immersed in this world of PJ Ladd, jump off a building, like, uh, that, that, that fucking the Boston Massacre video, like I was telling him.

And then when you, the Coliseum thing switched over to Fancy Lad, it was like, I don't know, you guys have been in my lives for a long time, which is weird. Yeah. Because, I mean, no, no disrespect. You guys are a niche part of a niche. sport, you know, which is taking the world over. You're not Japanese, so you don't have a shot anymore. You know. That's right.

You should get on that Japanese game show Skos. Dude, if you on there, you'd set the record for longest time. I know. I was really disappointed the first time I saw Koso, I was like, God damn it, why didn't we just, why didn't we think of this? Of course, we don't have that Japanese game show money. You don't. I think I would actually die. I think Japan invested directly.

I think the nation of Japan shuts down those streets. They did a good job at it. It's amazing. I think I'd actually die. on that rail though that goes over the water I think dude that one where they're pushing on the dirty uh the gritty sidewalk that one would be the first challenge I think would be the widow maker

I'd eat shit immediately after rolling in that rolling with that drops down like two feet I would just break my fucking wrist right away I would just uh yeah instead of the Ollie up Ollie Gab I just cleverly like they're like oh no one's thought of doing that

I was just going around just pushing around it Yeah. He hasn't left the earth. With a CASO time of seven minutes. Yeah. Big Zo, ladies and gentlemen. I still have the slowest of the clap for you, too. They have to be respectful. Yeah.

Well, he gave his all to the sport that defines him. Like I said, it's just like the 999 challenge that was recently. And it's all about just showing up. That was cool. People just like he's showing face, you know. Right. I think I hit you up and said a, what, a tremendous achievement. Exactly.

Inhumanity. Yeah. I mean, it kind of is. I mean, it is. It's another thing that I was like, God damn it. All these ideas that people are putting out. It's like, I mean, I like hot dogs. I like beer.

Why didn't I think of that? I mean, we accidentally, I know we're getting off topic real quick, but we'll go back to the first. We can just be guys. We can just be dudes. Yeah. Guys being dudes. I mean, it's about time. There's a podcast with just a couple of guys being dudes.

I've been waiting so long. Yeah. For guys who look like me to talk about stuff I'm in. to you know but i just want to say real quick we accidentally you know went into a sort of rabbit hole at the bar after uh the 999 challenge where we started talking about uh i met a fellow t mer and so we started talking about there's a general conversation about like you know psychedelics in general let's say which is always a tough tough thing to go around with people especially people who haven't really you know done psychedelics but you see i mean transcendental

meditation? Exactly. Yeah, yeah. And I know if you were a trademark lawyer. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, Matt thought I was a bunch of bullshit. And so did my friend Yellow Nick. And I was like, you know what?

I just went to a hot dog eating contest where I had to drink nine beers, eat nine hot dogs, do nine tray flips. If you don't think that there's some sort of unbelievable thing that life is a miracle, then I'm sorry. Yeah. All right? If this whole thing isn't a fucking gift to unwrap? Yeah.

What more proof do you need? You think it means nothing or everything is a miracle. That's proof right there. Yeah. Okay? Yes, dude. So you pretty much, there was the sequel to the stranger is what you did out there. You created joy out of nothing.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you talking about the Albert Camus book? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that was the whole choice. Like, you either have, like, it's either a sandwich or suicide. Those are your choices in life.

And you had nine hot dog sandwiches. I thought it was because he got sun in his eyes. I got reread that one, short read, but. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you could give him a stranger after this. Exactly. That's where my head first went, I was like... I saw you fight through it.

It doesn't really make sense that he's talking about jerking Tomoff with my dead hand. I prefer the double stranger, which is you fall asleep on your hand and then jerk off a stranger. So he must be making a pretentious reference that none of our listeners are going to know about... Well, hey, you're devaluing their intelligence. I know, and I do that all the time. You should. That's what you're advancing. If you knew how sweaty and derange these,

motherfuckers where you would not be questioning Biggs out. I'm not at all. And also, I've come up in these communities. So I do know that there might be an education gap occasionally. But I've also met a lot of skateboarders who have totally ripped my brain open to some very esoteric parts of our history as human. So I've learned to not devalue anyone's intelligence because someone will blow your skirt up. If you give anyone 10 minutes, they'll rock your shocks, baby. Yeah. Yeah. I know. And I, you know, the crazy thing is that we I feel like there's such a similarity.

This is why I wanted to have you on the first place is because you came up in the vegan anarchist. I assumed vegan. Well, we just tossed that in there. We were fregans. Oh, yeah. A lot of quinoa, a lot of, like, stuffed peppers with, like, grains you find in the trash.

So, yeah, it was just whatever we get our hands on. Do you ever have a pizza shop that threw out whole pizzas in the trash? The only upper crust used to throw out full pies. We used to get the upper crust dumpster all. time from the Coolidge Corner Theater. Yeah. Best spot in town. Little Caesars, they don't lock their dumpsters a lot of the time.

So you can get a little Caesars at like 10.01, and you just get fresh, hot, and readdies. That sounds great. Fresh hot and readdies. Yeah. It's the ones that the guys aren't taken home. So it's probably like a sausage and mushroom. Yeah, yeah. Someone sat on them and took a TikTok.

Well, sometimes I usually have to pay more to get something to sit on my food before I eat it. Good point. So I'm making money. Yeah. Interesting. I got a pizza in the van you might want. Oh, perfect. Yeah.

but yeah yeah you were there for your band though and you know we uh i moved into the city and uh i mean there were a lot of house shows so it was there's a huge crossover but um yeah i was making uh skate videos with my buddy jake bison who uh you know i love jake bison i'm gonna say that on the air oh that's nice yeah i mean i i i also i mean i have less of a relationship with jake than you do but it's been nothing but good it's cool you have a native american friend it's true But he thinks I don't like him because this one time when I got a little bothered because I brought this Chinese food that had chicken

and they made me eat it outside. Because he's so free. Because it's a vegan anarchist. Oh, this was it like a punk house where they had rules? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, those punk houses were they're rules. You know, classic punk house rules. We love freedom and liberty

and we define our lives by it, but you bring any Burger King in this house. You're an enemy of man. You got to take that shit outside. Go eating the kennel. boy yeah yeah they just become like 1940s white homeowners in the south where they're like yeah you want to you want to eat that with my daughter yeah exactly yeah i hated that shit there's just so much hypocrisy all the time and it's like i just want to play like rock shows for genderless women

you know like let me let me in yeah let me into the squat stupid yeah i'll sleep on the ground like a dog love it yeah so there's a lot that was a fun free time um our my buddy bonzo was he would come with us and he would like film the whole thing he was our he was our he was our photography guy and I think having him there and then just you know traveling around meeting punk rockers young people it was so much fun right you know trying to sleep in someone's bed that was always the big goal yeah never made any money so it's like going up to a girl and being like hey yeah yeah yeah can I sleep in your bed nothing has to happen yeah and you're like wet because you just play drums for 40 minutes yeah yeah yeah I remember going talking to so many women in the denim the long sleeve denim shirt that I would wear on stage that I would have to take off and I'd put it back on it would still be wet and I'd go up to a girl and be like so you uh you like the gang of four cover you know that kind of thing yeah no no yeah no i didn't you smell like burger king babe we'll play damaged goods next time yeah but you know back to my notes here it says that you're influenced by the minute men yeah yeah they're all over me nice which um you know how like skate companies like shorties and dg k or like hip hop yeah yeah

Like, I've always considered... I didn't know Shorties was hip-up. I knew DGK. You didn't know shorties was hip-hop? You know, I think I had an assumption, but I didn't want to... Okay. You know? I mean, I was...

Yeah, it's not your business, but... I don't know. Yeah, I would assume... DJK made it pretty... Based up their video. DJK made it dirty ghetto kids. Mm-hmm. You know.

Yeah. They kind of made it pretty obvious. Yeah. But I always considered Fancy Ladd the sort of, you know, American indie 80s scene, like any... of the bands from our band could be your life. Yeah, yeah. You know, that's the sort of...

You guys are the beat happening of skateboarding. Exactly. Thank you so much. You know. I thought you would have gone with butthole surfers, but you know what? I don't like butthole surfers. You know what? It's crazy.

If you just cherry pick, just a one cherry pick greatest hits of your own, not what they would come up with. I think they're a fantastic band and you guys just got to ignore everything else. Well, like a cool guy gave me like a mixtape once and I was like, this band rules. And then I started buying Butthole Surfer records, and I was like, Jesus Christ. This is, there's a lot of, there's a lot of not rule stuff on the, you know. Exactly. Yeah.

But like I said, if you just, if you just go, you know, just on the surface, yeah, great band. I mean, my whole career was based on getting the van, our band could be your life. Like all those SST bands, it was just, that was what I built my entire ethos on. Yeah. And I'm still doing that, and I'm so happy. Like the night before last night, I did the O2 Arena. in London for like 20,000 people doing this Kill Tony show

and it was a panel and it was a complete nightmare it was so hard and just unpleasant and I was sitting there and I was like this is most comedian's dreams to like be in front of 20,000 people and like backstage

and I'm seeing all the accolades that Tony's getting and I was just like this is not this isn't the nutrition that I'm looking for this isn't what it is for me so to do that show last night in Cambridge was like that's where the juice is for me

and I'm not trying to be cool or humble for the skateboard guys It's like, I feel I can talk to you guys about this because we share a similar ethos. It's like, yeah, all those, like, you know, like when Black Flag played the fucking L.A., the big one in L.A., they all wanted to play. And Henry was like, that was better than anything that ever happened afterwards. It's like I feel like I want to be aware of those moments that are better than the things that other people aspire to. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah. There's a long, meandering way to say that. I know. Well, it's a tough one because, like, Black Flag, when they only prefer. performed to four people. They said, you know, we got to bring it because we have to give him black it's not our fault. These kids, you know, that other kids aren't cool enough to show up. So that's kind of how I feel about this podcast. Are you saying that because I've said it so many times that exact quote? No. Dude, that was my entire. I remember pulling up to places like I would drive

like eight hours from Denver to Omaha and there'd be like eight people at the show. Yeah. And like the guy I drove with who has a job and a wife would be like, this sucks. And I'd be like, eight people here. Yeah. Like we got to give him black flag. I would literally say they came to see black flag we have to give him black flag because of that story about henry driving from los angeles their first show was in oklahoma city they'd been practicing for two months yeah and then they get there and no one's there right and he's like ooh and chuck's like you bitch get up there and eat glass yeah and that's how i've always felt but that's why you're inspiring i always think to myself because i've been i've been dabbling yeah a little bit in the past year

i've been dabbling in uh open mics stand up and uh sometimes i think to myself well we're punks i don't know if there's ever going to be a time when you know i'll appeal to anything more than punks you know but i feel like you're a living example that you well yeah but i had to sell my soul to a certain degree yeah you know because i was doing these shows forever and it was great and there's people at that show last night in boston who've been coming to see me in the northeast there was people who drove in from fucking montreal for that show last night you know which is so flattering it's so cool but uh yeah i have to do some things that that I don't necessarily align with politically

in order to sell tickets to the mass market. But then you hope that you can then scrape the cream off the people who are just into comedy. And I'm scraping a lot of cream. And yeah, I'm just super grateful for how everything's going. Yeah. Because of a long time, it wasn't going that great, but I loved it still.

Yeah. And now there's like a check at the end of the night in a hotel room. That's what I'm saying. And so much, it's just nice to be rewarded. It's like, you know, a lot of comedians. I'll listen to, you know, a lot of interviews with comedians.

Who do you like? Who do you like? your favorite comics um he's a big bill cosby guy oh sure off stage right yeah yeah yeah you like him just his personal stuff yeah yeah yeah well let me just finish my first thought you're sorry yeah uh they they're always saying you know if i'd be doing this anyway if i wasn't making any money you know you just got to do it for like 20 years because you love it and that's how i feel about skateboarding but i am still not making any money and those people who are always saying about comedy are always millionaires right right right and i'm like it's pretty easy for you to say right

you'd still be doing it coincidentally if you didn't have all this money right and then your podcast also makes you 700 000 a month and then you have the ads on top of it so it's like oh yeah you're really fucking just doing this for love of the game right it's like no i don't know i'm not a millionaire i'd hang out with a lot of millionaires and a lot of them act like we're the truth tellers yeah like they're so lucky to have us now you see more like uh melvins who are just Thank you. Or endlessly. Yeah, yeah.

But they make a living off of it. Lightning bolts what I've based it all. Yeah, yeah. But they're not like, I don't think the Melvins are millionaires. I could be wrong. I think they made some money from like some video games they did. I just know a little bit about the Melvins because my friends band Mr. Flies has been opening for them. And he says that they're exactly what you want them to be.

That's perfect. They don't talk. And then they get up there and they tune their instruments for an hour and a half. and then everyone's very happy. Well, I mean, you know, as far as the classics go, you know, I still, Norm and Louis are always going to be my favorites. I could have died a happy man if, you know,

Norm just did one or two more seasons of Norm MacDonald Live. That was my favorite fucking shit. It was phenomenal. Yeah, but, I mean, I know it went into that Netflix show that had one season, but that wasn't the same. Didn't have the same juice behind it, you know? It didn't because they were having huge games. on.

Whereas in the past they had like Andy Dick and Super Dave and it was delightful. I was just fucking with him and then he's up there with like you know fuck he had that lady who

like raised a bunch of money for the Vietnam War who was like the ultra babe in 1973 and Norm's just fawning over her the old time and you can see Eget be like yeah

when are we gonna tell a joke you know so yeah I mean him shitting on EGit though is the best yeah he gets my newest adult good friend oh really yeah

I've become incredibly close with that Adam. Wow. And I text him a lot and I love him dearly. Yeah. And it's one of the biggest joys in my life. It's being friends with Adam Eagut, who's as funny as he was on that show just all the time. Yeah. Eaget and I were at a Christmas party recently and there was a big barbecue buffet. And it was a Joe Rogan's comedy club. And there was white bread. And I put a piece of white bread in my pocket right here in my suit coat. And we just stood by this bread station for three hours. Me and Egan, people would walk up like Ron White or Joe Rogan and he'd be

like, geez, Sam, you're fucking sweating like a pig. Why are you so nervous to talk to Joe? And I'd be like, I'm so sorry, and I'd take the piece of white bread out and dab my face and eat it. We did that for three hours. That's fantastic. He's the man. He's the best, dude. Love that. Yeah.

And then a kid stole that bit and did it in a different part of the party. Literally two rooms over, same bit, a piece of bread in the pocket, doing it for people. Unbelievable. A comedian doing this in a party full of comedians who'd already seen me and Eget do the bit at the buffet. Psycho, he wanted to be hurt. He wanted to be hurt. He wanted Joe Rogan to fucking call him out in front of everyone. Exactly.

He's not part of the five hundred. yeah crazy but yeah as far as the newer people i think i don't know i think dan soders really funny i saw i haven't performed yeah uh but you know it also bothers me a lot of these comedians on these podcasts i'll tell you please they're always like they're always like oh my god being a comedian so tough you know we got these new guys they ordered meals and then they they order appetizers they expect you to pay because you're a millionaire yeah i mean they ordered and they don't even eat the appetizer i'm like if you ordered the appetizer you bet you might well eat it i mean come on i'm paying for it yeah is this tuesdays with stories you're talking

about right now i i'm unfamiliar with that one that's your list the boston legend oh oh yeah yeah yeah no but i haven't performed too but i didn't know it's tuesdays with stories he's great yeah but yeah no a lot of uh i can't listen to people i know how much money they make per night at shows because i know that money like i can't listen to anyone complain anymore that's I'm saying. Yeah. But they'd have nothing else to... And then I have to go to dinner with them and hear them complain.

Like, I'm not just hearing it through a podcast. They're hearing it there when they're like, do you guys want to split this? And I'm like, you have $80 million. Yeah. What do you mean, split this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's my fucking card. I didn't drink any of the champagne or rum, but yeah, let's split it up.

Yeah. I came to dinner to spend $700 on a club sandwich. Yeah. Of course. We're all fucking rich. Yeah. It's crazy. That's why we only eat steaks, take ice baths and do sanas.

I'm not talking about anybody. in particular. And you have to train, dude. You have to train. Yeah, exactly. And look, Joe, I love Joe. I love Tony Inchol. These are my friends.

Right. But then they just, they lose touch that everyone they hang out with is not a super successful millionaire. It's like, hey, do you guys want to fucking fly private to the Super Bowl? Who's paying? Right. I don't have Super Bowl ticket.

They assume you have Super Bowl ticket. It's like, no. I'm going to watch it with my dad. Yeah. You know, I've got $800 on this game. It's the most money I've ever placed. on a bet yeah yeah 800 it's just in detroit oh dude that the city the city was so heartbroken yeah it was so tough because i live there and my wife and her family detroit lines fans i'm a denver

broncos fan the fact we made the playoffs the dream come true are you guys football fans no but i i've started betting on football oh yeah so that's helped me with our sponsor draft watch yeah exactly so that's helped me at least uh become familiar enough to i'll tell you what the pat's got a A fucking, he'll be playing offensive line for you guys for 20 years. That first round pick you guys got? Real good hands with that O lineman. He'll play center. He'll play guard.

Hey, skateboarders. Things have been tough since Brady's left, I'll tell you. Yeah, skateboarders, put down the spray paint can for a minute and listen. You guys got a Hall of Famer in the first round this year. Because you grew up as a football guy, too, you played football. I loved football. Yeah, everyone tried to recruit me as, speaking of our body types. Of course, bro.

Everyone tried to recruit me into the football team. And I was like, sorry, I'm actually a skater. And they're like, it's a damn shame. Right. Like, you are wasting your golden ticket, boy. They would look at you from your toes up to your face. Yeah, you better get out there and do bonelesses. Yeah.

I'd be like, why are you admiring my body, sir? Hey, don't talk. Just let me see what I couldn't have. Yeah. Yeah, no, I never. I had a skateboard. My mom bought me a skateboard. I tried to ride it.

I hurt myself. And I lied about how it broke. I thought I was three flipping over a trash can. And my friends, 25 years later, still bring it up at parties. They'll see a trash can. I'm like, hey, Sam, you want to three flip that? I'm like, shut up. It's crazy that you...

It was a pennyboard, too. But you still have just become enamored with the skateboard culture. Not an... Not become. This was just one of the things. This was like, there was punk rock, there was skateboard. There was just a lot of shit that you get exposed to as a youth. And you're like, well, I could hang out with the guys who, you know,

don't smoke weed and party and listen to misfits or I can hang out with these guys who want to raise hell I wanted to raise hell Yeah speaking of I just wanted to crack into that clown shoes beer real quick shout out to our sponsors

Oh that looks delicious Which one is that? Harpoon. This is rainbows are real Oh wait no yeah this is harpoon pale ale It's actually under the the father umbrella Of clown shoes So it still counts

You guys smoke weed? Yeah yeah go for it Yeah absolutely Yeah man So no it wasn't like And, like, you got to understand that as, as a fat youth who couldn't skate where my brother, the bull troll, he can skate and he's built like me. Yeah. Well, I was going to say, but what the hell?

I was out there trying to represent for the fat youth. That's why I respect you a lot, dude. That's what I'm saying. And I'm like, you know what? The big guys can do it too, y'all. Mm-hmm. No, I never, I never could. But I do, like, you know, big hungry out in the Bay area?

He's built like you, a big black guy. He can skate. No. He's the only, the only two big. guys i know and then that fucking canadian dude who was on the canadian team who's like 260 but he's like yoked he's all right he's talking about court cordel i think so russell or whatever he's on toy machine right i don't count that guy as pure muscle poser yeah he's he can't claim 260 pure muscle he doesn't have a body built by harpoon that's what i'm saying yeah no so there was just

there was no there was you know representation's important there was no big big people pushing around back in the day. I know. I got a lot of guff on that first video. I was a pussy. I didn't remember that. I was so scared. It hurt a lot to fall down.

That's reputation, man. You know, Sam T. King of the football field. Yeah, yeah. Out there, you know. I got, how to manual. I remember on the slap message boards.

I got a lot of guff for being overweight of that for with that first fans that video. And that was when I was at my skinniest. That's what hurt the most. Yeah, yeah. Skaters love the body shape. Did you have like jet black hair in that part? No,

no, that was more recently. But in the first one, I just had, it was just my natural hair. Yeah. But still, like I'm saying, I was literally at my skinniest. And everyone was like, this guy, thank God, this guy's pushing uphill. He needs to lose a lot of weight. Look at this whale. Fuck.

God damn. Well, I think you look great. Thank you. Thank you. He's been going to the gym. It's true. With the name of a deli near here, Jim? Mm-hmm.

What is it? The name of a deli? Yeah. Yeah. Give me the book. I got some men. I was going to say. Yeah, you can write some stuff down.

We use it for next. We use it for next episodes. You know what's good dude? Swimming. As a big man, it's really good on your joints. I'm sure you're all beat up from pushing Mongo out there. I have a switch mongo. It's true.

Yeah. I got something to tell you, Sam. I'm not a strong swimmer. I just recently learned how to swim a couple years ago, and I'm not a very strong swimmer. No, I got to get you in the water. Yeah, you got to because that's the only thing that's hold me back from applying to a survivor. Yeah. Kind of get you in there.

Right. I know. That's my seven stage. That's the only thing that's hold me back from applying to Survivor, Sam. Really? Yes, I'm not a strong swimmer, and I know a lot of challenges are in the water. I thought it was you couldn't leave the country due to the pending charges. Well, that too, and I can't go near a school yard, but we don't have to get into that.

Not after last time. Because of the earthquake. The girthquake. There was so much trepidation going into this just because I spent so much time. I mean, I wasn't posing. I had no pretense that I could skateboard after the initial three-flip trash can debacle that haunted me to this day. Right. I mean, I haven't seen Ryan Charlton in 30 years, but I remember Ryan Charlton.

People don't forget. No, they don't. He let me know that I did not three-flip that trash can. But, yeah, so, like, it's just, it's, there's this huge fear of being labeled a poser, you know, so I'm coming on here with just the purest intentions and the most admiration. That's great. Yes. Thank you. you know i think there's always a bit of imposter syndrome i don't know if it happens to you when

you're because you know stand up you got to do it yourself but when you end up doing it yourself in skateboarding you can't help but uh you know in the beginning have a bit of imposter syndrome like oh i'm only here because i'm turning myself pro you know et cetera et cetera you know you kind of i think everyone needs some sort of validation for me it was like turning yourself pro like that's the beauty of what it is it's like the whole DIY situation that before like red bull got involved in skateboarding and this is me just watching i remember like 303 boards giving a couple of my friends like when david rea's like first popped out of denver like i remember going to those parties and like that guy made it it didn't matter that he went on

to do all this stuff you know it's like that i don't know i think it's cool that you guys don't follow any rules yeah that's a big a lot of people all your young listeners who want to know how they become an artist like you are if you just do it we don't believe in them yeah yeah there's no artist there's just there's just hardworking people exactly it's just the doing and i believe that you know the doing is all there is it's all there is nothing else but doing it doesn't even matter what you do no i'm good i don't touch the devil's lettuce it's okay yeah yeah the devil's tear drop though i haven't heard that before oh yeah that's good yeah that bit uh what because i put out my last special last or yeah last year i put out my special and then the next weekend i had seven sold out shows in chicago but

I didn't have an act now because I burnt it all in the special, you know? I can't do those bits. So that thing, the LSD joke was like one of my oldest closers from like 2010. And I brought it back that first weekend and I forgot how much fun it is to do a funny face. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm doing that again and it's just a hoot. It's so ridiculous. Yeah, I love it.

And also, my demographics, they know exactly what that copy is. I was going to say, and I knew exactly. There's a lot of people who come to the shows on LSD or mushrooms and I can pinpoint them. And during the show, if there's a guy over here, when I do the thing where I turn and make the face, I fucking gun that guy so hard with the face. Yeah. And everyone else is laughing, and he's just like,

you know, like fucking being ripped in half. Yeah. It's so much fun to freak people out on drugs when they're in public. Yeah, your crowd work is impeccable. Thanks, man. I, you know. You should see my act. Yeah.

I couldn't, I'm not that quick with it. You know, I couldn't do that sort of crowd work. That's why I'm glad that you agreed to be on this scripted podcast today. And I appreciate you sending it over the pages. Because I woke up at seven. I flew in from London and I was like, I got to do the show, but I got to memorize this. Exactly. It's a long, and when I was writing this to bring it up in the podcast, it was, I was at least like 20 pages deep.

Well, here's the thing, dude, you sent those pages. I had them on the plane. I had it word for word. But then last night at fucking 3 a.m. When you faxed over the new edits, it's like, go to bed, bro. We're going to be okay. There's good stuff here. You don't know how important this is.

This could literally make or break the podcast. You know what we should do? We should cross-post this. We should put it out on my podcast to give you guys some more ears on yours. That would be awesome. And then there's a bunch of people who are always like, talk about being a poser. Talk about when you were a poser. And I'm like, I can't do that ever.

I'd rather be outed it as a pet of file or something. Well, that is the reason we wanted to bring you. Oh, I heard the doors lock. Chris Hanson's so nice. You do look different than you did online. I'll say that. That beard was not as full. I was going to say, take off the wig beard.

can you imagine like how bad that would be in your life you think you're going to bang a kid and get away with it and then no the highest of highs to the lowest of lows you're literally flying to the sun yeah then Hanson melts your wax weights and then you go to prison there forever about to enjoy these wine coolers and get laid and I crack one of these and now go into prison yeah that is art it was to find wine coolers in 2025 I had to buy these wine coolers and get laid to buy these from eBay. When the dude show up with flowers,

it's like, oh, so you're going to make out first before you rape the child? What the fuck? Yeah. Oh, yeah, those guys, dude,

I don't feel for him. Well, you know, we're judging, we're assuming a bunch. Maybe they were just planting the seed and then they were going to wait till they were

of legal age, and then they were going to enjoy a homosexual marriage. I think they call that grooming. Right, yeah. Fuck, he's right. Damn it. God damn it.

You would No, right? I said they call it grooming. You look pretty well groomed over there. That's not true. Well, you got nice hair. Oh, thank you. You have good nice hair.

I don't have no hair anymore. I didn't brush it. Thank you. Are you bleached or do you just go white? Well, no, I'm bleached, but I tried to die at white, but you could see a bit of yellow in there. But, yeah, I get a lot of Kiefer Sutherland Lost Boys, you know. Yeah, it was pretty platinum when you first did it. I feel like it's pretty white the first few days,

and then it just gets blonde. Yeah, it's tough to keep up. It's tough to keep up with that purple shampoo. Mostly you have to take showers to have that work. And that's an uphill battle. I showered this morning. Well, you didn't step inside the fans of that house. That's the thing.

No, no, no. I didn't have my hazmat suit. Yeah, exactly. I didn't have all my shots yet. So if you just want to take, it's like the last of us in the bathroom, just with all the spores around. So. The corners are all black?

Yeah, exactly. Dude, I lived in a punk house that fit. 16 of us lived in there, and there was one bathroom, and it was just like, oh, I mean, I've never, I've never known any real pain or atrocity, but I think that's the closest I've come is when I spun the chore wheel and got the drain duty. Oh, God. Oh, my God. I don't like that. The fucking, oh, I don't like that. Those water slugs that were in there.

Classic chore wheel. Yeah, classic chore wheel at punk house. At the punk house. 11 dudes pounding in one shower. Oh, geez. And then girl hair. Five, five heads of girl hair. Damn, damn.

So the pounding turned into slugs, huh? I mean, kind of hard not to jerk off. You know, there's girl hair in the drain, you know? Oh, I know. It's all you can eat, dude. Yeah, right? It's just linguine style. I know, well, you know, it's like these anarchists when I learned from them, you know,

they actually, you know, it's a misconception they want, they, that they want chaos. They actually just want order within their little sector and to be separated from everybody else, you know. They want a community where they can boss. people around exactly yeah exactly yeah and it's so weird dude because like i'm you know my politics are pretty much just like share what you have you know yeah and then i hang out with people who are like speaking at trump speeches right and then they're like well it's good and i'm like well yeah you know what's good that football's coming back right everyone right right right like i am still midwestern i was raised in a house where it's like get along you know your politics aren't

he he might not vote the same way but hell if your car broke down he'd change your tire like that kind of logic is how I exist. But it's so strange to hang out with people who... I think Norm was saying it about politics. He doesn't really talk about because he likes his comedy to be funny. Yeah. But also, like, that's the weird thing about Norm is he, like, became, I don't want to say devout, but like, I think... He was always really secretly religious.

Yeah. But it wasn't so much secret, but it was an odd dynamic where it's like, I never would have pinned you as a religious guy. Because you're so smart. Exactly. so many great works of fiction it's but that's why he liked the russian masters because they drove him back towards religion because they were all struggling with faith yeah but isn't that such a strange dichotomy in a guy who i grew up being like you are maybe the devil himself on earth right so like mischievous he's a hellraiser hellraiser yeah but then he still is hoping to go to have right

well well but i mean to thine own self be true you know that's what they say you know he bet on that he was going to live he bet on draft kings that he was going to live Damn. I know. That would have paid out huge. It would have been mega, dude. Yeah. I could have bought the fancy lead house. You could have.

I know. Instead, I need 30 bucks. Yeah. And if you want to still, if you want to ask, I don't know, one of your friends for like a point zero zero zero zero two percent of one. The 10 million? I saw that on the website, dude. That's very funny. Yeah.

Oh, for the company? Yeah. Yeah. Hey. Okay. Thank you. Tell them to buy it. Tim Robinson should buy your company.

He should. Let Tim take over. He's got 10 milth laying around. Yeah, I'm sure he's doing all right. You know, when he comes to Detroit, every comedian in the city, there's like a phone tree of like where he is and people are trying to bump into him. God, he's so funny. I know. He's so cool.

He's also one of my favorites. You know, another one of our favorites, Conan. Oh, God. O'Brien. He's the funniest person currently alive. Yeah, exactly. The best. Definitively, his stink is all over me.

That whole thing I did last night Where it was like the tequila What restaurant like that thing That's definitively Conan Yeah There's not a bigger stink Conan Fred Willard Norm MacDonald David Tell

These are the people Who stamp is on me And the Christopher guest movies But Conan dude My god You guys are You should be so proud To be from a place

I know where he's from And he was spotted In Cambridge on like fucking Saturday Really Was it Saturday Scribbler told us Oh right That people saw him on a He can't listen to scribbler

I know He does fucking lie Especially he sends you a note I can't fucking read this. It's all I scrolls. Scrolled up. One time Nick Vatterot did Conan, went back in the day.

Very funny guy, Nick Vatterat, and he did the five-minute set, and he was like, hey, I'm sorry, I, uh... Can I use my notes, and the crowd's like, yes, I'm so sorry, I'm so nervous. Giant scroll. Drops it, it rolls all the way out. Do you have a big drawing of a penis on it?

Oh, no. He didn't push it. He didn't push it to like old Bigzo. Yeah, yeah. All right, thank God. I still got something. He's got it. Dude, Conan, awesome.

I mean, you can't, nothing will stop. You're so, like, from what I understand of you, you're a brave person who doesn't give a shit about fuck. Like, why don't you go to an open mic and be bad at it for a while? Oh, you're talking about me or Conan? Yeah, you. Yeah, no, I, did you stand up? Yeah, Conan.

Hey, Conan. I'm throwing down the gauntlet here on the chubby behemoth, fancy lad, co-lab. I told you, that's literally what I do, but I just cannot find the time because I, A, have a beautiful lover Have a beautiful lover B, own a skateboard company C, work a job so I can pay rent Right

And D I have a bit of a pool addiction And E I like, you know Grandpa's cough messing over here Oh hey, who doesn't? Crack them, slurping them, dumping them Hot or cold

I'm ready to get bold Oh geez, these suds over here Don't get me started Oh, don't get him at all. Yeah, no, it's weird. If you met Rogan and you said you like playing pool, he would love you. Like, that's, if you ever be Rogan. And then he'd absolutely fucking smokey or ass.

Maybe I should go to Austin to do the Kill Tony. Dude. I think that could, I think that would be very big. Yeah. I think that'd be very big. Yeah. Yeah. Because the only reason that Rogan and I are friends is because the first time I ever met him,

I shook hands with him first of all, Tim Dillon and. introduced me, I shook hands with Joe Rogan the first time like this. Like he grabbed my whole hand and I put two fingers folded and he just crushed it and I was like, well, I'm done. It's over. I literally was like my comedy career is over. I fucked up the handshake with Rogan. Yeah. But I mentioned, I was like, have you ever read the color of money? Like the great pool novel by Walter Tevis? You've read the color of money? I've seen the film by Martin Scorsese. Dude, you need to read The Hustler. If you like Poole, one of the best novels ever. Well, about anything. Again, can I just watch the movie?

movie starring Paul Newman. Can, but you, like, actually like the Karam and the English. Yeah. You would actually know what they're talking about. Yeah, yeah. Because he gets minute in this book, like, about the words of the verbiage of pool. Okay. And I mentioned that to Rogan.

And now he thinks that I love playing pool. Yeah. Like, literally, the last text I sent him was a picture of Marianne Chouinette's pool table because I went to Versailles and saw her, like, table. Yep. And so now he just thinks I'm a big pool shark. Yeah. He's always trying to get me to play pool with him.

And I can't be like... Thinks you're a shooter. I don't. play pool. I'm not a stick man. Yeah. So now whenever, like, he's asked me to hang out a couple times and he always wants to play pool and I'm like, I feel like lie and be like, oh, I'm sorry. And I'm just sitting in my

hotel room being like, I could be playing pool with Joe Rogan. You're like, I played too much last night. I didn't bring my wrist guard, Joe. Yeah. I didn't bring my billiard specs. Right. I mean, I told you, I was trying to get you to come play pool at the studio. I appreciate that. I know, but I don't play pool.

And also, I flew from London. So I was like, I got to go to bed. Yeah. And boy, did I go to bed. Yeah, how was that? Let's talk about your sleep for a while. Yeah, let's talk about that. You know, we know your side sleep. We all, ask me how I slept.

How did you sleep? I made a couple mistakes. Oh, no. So Woody Allen joke. My dad's been telling my entire life. Oh, another one of Bigzo's favorite. He actually is one of my favorites. Yeah.

And again, not because of his movies. Yeah, I will say it's because of his movies. And it's not because of his insidious, you know, affair with his child insidious and incestuous yeah exactly you got both those that's a couple of bad synonyms to be carrying around exactly they don't sound too big on

illiteration to each other but I actually do I do love Woody Allen I'm sorry I'm not one of these people who's going to be like fuck you I'm very good at separating the art from the artist same yeah I never my girlfriend hates that too really yeah huh and I'm like

sorry I love his movies they're genius Everyone else does it, whether they admit it or not, because everyone still plays Michael Jackson at every wedding. What did Bowie do? He dated like 15-year-old girls. I mean, every kiss song is like, you're 16 and I'm about to fuck you. I love that one. I mean, you know, you're from Detroit.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. My friend Nathan has a joke where it's like 16 candles. Can we get a couple more candles on that cake? There you go. Oh, no, dude, you're totally right. Like a lot, like, dude, jail bait, my fucking Nugent? It's one of the hardest songs ever, but the message is not positive.

Yeah, it's surprising because everything else Ted Nugent's done has been very, you know, sound mind, you know? Can we disagree on one thing finally? Wouldn't that be great? I do, you know what? I like Ted because he rips on guitar. And also, he had one of the only beers he's ever had in his life with Anthony Bourdain. Really?

Dane wanted a cold one And Ted was like No one should ever drink alone And he had a cold one with Bourdain And it was the first beer He had like like 37 years Nice Yeah I thought that was a cool thing to do

As they were like you know Fucking blasting animals with big guns Yeah Bourdain's punk rocker I don't know I don't know Is it just because he wore Ramon's shirt or is it

He loved the television He was one of those guys He was like my favorite punk fan Is like Talking Heads type of guy New Wave guy I don't know I mean talking heads wasn't They were there in 78 77

Like they were They were at the punk club. They were doing it themselves. I mean, Mission of Burma? You know? Right. Legends. They were punk.

They were, they played shows with fucking SSD and stuff. Yeah. And got called every slur you could still say back when it was fun to have fun. From Boston, right? Yeah, yeah. Cambridge, I think. Yeah. Yeah.

But, uh... It's always back to Cambridge with this guy. Yeah. I think we were talking about... Okay, so we're... Kiss having sex with 16-year-olds. Oh, Bourdain being punk rock. I think so

I think that's fair to say He was so tortured God God You know that whole thing right He gets with Asia Argento She ruins his show For the last two seasons Makes him fire

Everyone that worked on the show Starts directing Says I was raped by Weinstein He was very public about it Dario's daughter I don't know Probably Dario Argento

I think you're probably correct And then she gets outed for banging a 16 year old boy and then he kills himself because he was like he was one of the most vocal like when Mario Battaglia got fucking busted for fucking every

waitress against their will like allegedly I don't remember the exact thing but like he was one of the dudes who was like really really quick on the me too thing and then he gets his the woman that he's been backing his outed for banging a 16 year old right and then he fucking kills himself

Quinn Tarantino should make his 10th film about that which would be funny because Harvey Weinstein has produced all of his movies. I know. And then he, maybe he has Harvey play himself. Exactly. Yes.

That would be so genius. Gentlemen, lock the doors. Quentin, we know, we know, we know Quentin's a listener. Quentin,

you are welcome, okay? A Q man. Yeah. Man, that guy's got a weird face, Ted, his face. I know.

It's like, it's like shrink wrap. It's like, it's like, it's like in Beetlejuice where they just stretch their face out different parts. You know?

It's like when you get weed sent to you in the mail and it's like, all the air sucked out of the plastic. Yeah. It's what his face looks like. Or it just looks like a living characterature, you know, of like someone with those features, just the drawing came to life. Yes, 100%.

He looks like a boardwalk animation. Yeah. Yeah. And Quentin, again, we know you're listening and we apologize. We don't want to. That's true. We don't want to be. He is one of those few fans of this podcast that we keep mentioning.

I understand. One of the diehards. You're behind the cue ball. I know. He's keeping the Patreon alive and we thank you, Quint. Oh, yeah. You guys have a Patreon? Yeah, I think there's, what was there?

Like, that we can't say how many members are on there. No, no, you don't want, you know, you don't want to flex on everyone. Yeah, yeah. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I love that you don't do video. Well, we did briefly.

We tried briefly because we were like, oh, this is going to be so much better to cut promos and this and that. And then we never did. And we were like, all right, let's just go back to audio. Yeah. There's also a lot of work to do video. Oh, dude, it sucks. As Bigzo was saying, like, both the bus, I mean, I recently quit my job. But before that.

What were you, a professional heshire? Yeah. Yeah. We, you know, both work all the fucking time and have all that other shit to do. So it was, you know, doing the audio one alone takes fucking hours. to edit and then when you added video to it also who's watching a podcast we had to people bitch so much about our pod that that's what i'm saying on your ears walking around or on while you're doing dishes big so big so loves watching sometimes i love watching them

dude he loves watching and i don't get that i do not sometimes which ones are you watching which ones must you see line uh sometimes i watch kill tony maybe you've heard of it yes i have that one's a good one to watch that one you should watch that's a different that's like a different With him being like it's the number one podcast, it's like this is a 12 camera television show with two trucks following it around. Right. Look, man, I'm proudy. I'm happy for you. But let's call a fucking spade of spade.

What are you doing? I mean, honestly, if Conan did video for his podcast, I would watch the full video. Doesn't he? Doesn't he doesn't Conan O'Brien? No, they put up clips. You're right. They record the whole thing. Yeah.

Yeah. So I still, I don't know. I like to see their facial expressions. It's like watching stand up. It's not just about the standup. it's like there's a presence of the person. Well, also, Conan's always like, you know, human squiggle body. I mean, yeah, you should be watching Kill Tony probably so you can, you know, see why they're

fat and gay. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you got to understand the jokes. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, I need to see what pathetic loser just went up on stage. Right, yeah, I want to see. And what's funny is you see literally their eyes, like you see their brains rip in half as their soul dies.

Yeah. As they, like, bomb on the biggest thing they could accidentally get allowed to do. Yeah. It's so fucking gnarly And the one in London dude The first time I saw it I didn't like it because I was like I just can't watch something

Where somebody's punching down Yeah yeah And then I watched more of it I was like wait no these people actually suck at comedy They're bad at comedy Yeah And I was like they knew what they were getting into And also like I'm all about respect

For comedians like if someone Like there's a lot of guys who's act I don't like But I respect how hard they work And what they've done to get there And the skill they put into it And how hard everyone else laughs at it Right

But man if you've been doing stand up for fucking Like there was a guy his first time ever doing stand-up was at the O2 arena. And it's like he bombs and he can't talk afterward. He can't do the interview because he just bombed in front of 20,000 people. And now he looks over and we have to be mean to him now. Yeah. It's like, it's just I don't respect someone.

I understand why they do it if you're a young comic and you want to go on Kill Tony and you get on. I would do the same thing if I was a young comic. Yeah. But it's also just like, God damn, how little do you respect this thing I've devoted my life to? Right. You know? Yeah. But anyway, I'm a million years old.

That's my old man take that I'm coming to terms with. Well, you know, my lady friend there, she was like, Sam's texting you to be on the podcast in person. She's like, are you guys like friends? And I'm like, no, we're not friends, but I think we have a mutual respect having both dedicated our entire lives to one thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know. There's a kinship, yeah. Yeah, I mean, dude, I just, I literally remember buying a, uh, going down to Zoomies. Do you guys have Zoomies out here?

Oh, yeah. Like the BC Surf and sports. Mm-hmm. Going to Zoomies at Park Meadows Mall and, uh, getting that fucking Boston Massacre video and then going to headed west and buying a six foot gravity bong in the same day. Oh, hell, yeah. And going back to my friend Kevin's house and just smoking swag out of this giant bong and watching Boston Massacre.

So yeah, it's like, I don't know. It's really cool, man. I was so stoked. My buddy Bonzo has, and Krusty. Bonzo and Krusty are not like... I got to meet these Bonzo and Krustis. You come to Denver, man. All for sure.

And you go to Elizabeth Park. The next episode of my travel show Wild World, wide world is in Elizabeth where I grew up and a lot of it's at the park. In Bonzo and Joe were there pushing around. God, I was so... Anyway, it's, I just... It's cool, man.

It's cool to be here at this one. This is like, you know, it's like if Baker hit me up, I'd be like... When Tim Robinson got that Baker board, I've never been so jealous of anything ever. Well, they don't know, but they don't know you, Trey flipped a trash bag on. I was going to say, you're not thinking. I've literally kept that secret my entire life.

You're not thinking Fancy Lad, Sam, Talent. Whoa! Zipzinger to represent the penny board, okay? You know what I need? I need one of those mountain boards you can ride on dirt roads with the big wheels. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the only skateboard I've ever rode successfully. He's one of those ones.

I think Abe has one still. Dude. Is that Orange Man? Yeah. Orange Man. Rips. That guy's cool. Oh, no.

You should meet him. He's a real dick. I just like the idea of Orange Man. Yeah, no, he's amazing. Dude, he's great. Let's do a board. Can we do a Bonzo board, though? And then we'll sell it on the next episode of Wide World.

We'll put an ad for it in the YouTube episode. The official Bonzo board. Yeah. Because I cannot put my friends would rip me half if i had my own pro skateboard if i my own deck they might rip you in half just for mentioning zoomies on this podcast quite frankly well i grew up in a tower that was the closest place to get my board waxed that i would have in my pocket but never ever open or use yeah closest place where i could just ask somebody to grip my board for me yeah yeah dude that's funny you say that yeah it's

funny because one time i was i was like lying about you know skateboarding or whatever i had a i had a band in high school called the mongrels and i remember we had a song called poser and it was like uh what was the fucking there's something about you know i hold i hold the i hold my board by the trucks because because i don't give a fuck i'm a poser or something i remember one time i was holding just i was holding a skateboard by the trucks and bonzo was like and he took it out of my hand and he switched it so i was holding it correctly and he was like no one saw you're good it was the two biggest pause and skateboarding the mall grab and the mongo push dude pushing mongo is ridiculous but it looks cool sometimes

dude i i agree some people make it look good and so big i will push mongo switch until i die yeah well that's i like it switch because it's it's clear indicator it's like hey everyone just so you know this is switch this is about to be switch yeah okay in case you didn't know harder i remember when i learned what switch was and i was like oh that's the way everyone gives the shit yeah he just did the same thing I always have to explain to everybody like I'm explaining to my mom

I'm like no it's like shooting a basketball with your left hand or like over your head it's like standing in front of the hoop and throwing it over your head like this I think it would something easy it would be like writing with your non-dominant hand

you know like imagine if you could write your name perfectly with both hands uh-huh that's like doing a good switch flip dude if there's like a heaven i'll be able to do a blunt slide you know what i mean like i i dude that's the or no is it a nose nose blunt that's the one dude yeah that's the coolest backside nose blunt there i say hardest ledge trick dare i say buttery gentlemen yeah yeah yeah dare i'm really i'm showing back for strength i don't want to use all the terms no we should be getting into skateboarding i mean this is a skateboard podcast

at the end of the day whoa dude oh yeah that's a that's a pal version that's why it's still crapped dude and then you guys have had southeastern a lot of yours still

he's had a guest trick in a lot of them yeah now he's got the dolly uh yeah did you guys have fucking did you give spanky on power suck yeah yeah he had a friend trick in there he was touring with America

And, yeah, he was cool enough to want to go skate the curb with me while somebody else grinded up the handrail at Brookside. Yeah, that is cool. Well, my buddy Whit Thomas is always skating with Tim Robinson. Whitmer, very funny, come on, comic. Yeah, we've had Whitman on the pot. You've had Whiton? Friend of the pod.

Yeah, friend of the pod. That guy was skating down in Alabama getting called every kind of gay. Really? Oh, my God. His friends, dude, there's some real swamp trolls. Yeah. Like, they were in some places where, like, skateboarding was. still, you know, a crime against not just the mall, but God in a way of life.

And they're down there with, like, pink hair. Yeah. Yeah, that guy rules. But I'm always seeing him. I like how we still got called gay in the South. Oh, my God. Orange man and I got called gay for wanting to split some barbecue. Yeah.

Split. Yeah, in Kentucky. Split plate? Yeah, yeah. If you're not ordering barbecue by the amount of poundage weight you want, you're, you deserve to be called any kind of slur. Yeah. Yeah.

Right. Not that gay's a slur. Gay's a good thing to be, damn it. Happy. Get out there. Yeah. Get out there and get it, boys. I mean, I kind of envy everyone who's gay that they're actually happy instead of me,

closet homosexual over here. Right, I know. God did pent up anger every day. You have to drink all the time. Yeah, just to deal with it. Yeah, I get it, man. I understand. God fucking do it.

I was hoping my dad was going to be gay after my mom died. No, he's not. He's horny for broads. Damn it. I know. You're like, it'd be cool if dad just brought home some hot guys to fuck. If my dad had, like, if he was dating a man, was my age and I just had a guy like to talk about you know contemporary issues to me

yeah yeah like a 70 year old woman who's nervous around me that'd be awesome yeah can he just be alone that was my big concern yeah he's gonna get reclusive and become like a you know like a bird house like a hermit yeah yeah bird houses are cool though yeah no but like he lives in a bit of a compound already and doesn't talk to anyone so like if he did just get lost in his grief that would have been tough but no he's like king of the grief groups oh that's good he's you know i was good a lot i was really yeah it's crazy and he listens i you know i love you dad yeah oh he'll be listening to this he's one of those those fateful patrons uh well that's the cool thing about my dad is he was like he uh when i moved to denver with bonzo and crusty and none of my jock friends

then Bonzo and Krusty just became family. Nice. So it didn't matter that they weren't doing anything besides living in Denver and like selling weed. He was like, come to Thanksgiving. Yeah. My parents are good people. Good people. Sounded.

You know, back to Orange Man. You know, we love Orange Man. Yeah. Who? Who is we? He's a friend of the podcast. Oh, he's a friend of the podcast. Yeah.

You got a mouse in your pocket. He's happy to see me. But, oh, God. romanticize his own origin story so bad he was talking about how he became orange man and how it was had to deal with him finding joy in his sobriety journey and i was like i've seen you drink like three michelob ultras in the entire time i've known you yeah so there's i mean i don't know how much of a journey it was you know it was more like a small step you know yeah now i know a lot of guys like that yeah that's kind of like the bisexual woman who kissed a girl once yeah you know you know

Right. It's like, are you really? Yeah. I mean, I get you get to claim it. Now no one can hate you. Right. And hey, if you're a lady out there, like my wife, who's gone down on a, you know, on a couple of bike riding pussies in her day, hey, hell yeah.

You fly the flag. There you go. But it's just the girl who's like, I had an invader Zim hoodie once. I'm bisexual. Yeah. I don't know. A lot of people died to earn that title. I know.

I know. I know. I got a rat tail. It's like, okay. Well, here's your parade. Slow down. Yeah. Did your lady have a fun time at the show last night?

She did. She really liked your quick improv, like we were saying. It's a big part. That's what I need to do. I need to make sure that when the guys bring the girls now, that the girls have fun too. Yeah. You got to get them coming back.

And you know, just real quick, I really enjoyed the second comedian, and I wanted to know his name. James Patterson. That was James Patterson? Oh, well, I thought he was great. Yeah, yeah. You're talking about the, like, the professorial one? The guy who was like, I want to kill my parents guy.

So there was Bree, and then there was Al, and they were dating. Yeah, not them. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, you like James. Yeah, James is cool. James fucked off. He was here, and then all of his friends got famous, and he moved, like, around, and then he moved to Key West.

He's just in Key West now when he's not traveling the world. But a real cool guy. You know, well-read. There's a show called All About Hemingway. Yeah. And it's really good. it should be bad, but it's really funny. Yeah, we were a little apprehensive about having you on the podcast because you had written a book.

Yeah, yeah. And we don't take too kindly to you book learners out there. I understand. I appreciate you guys, turning a blind eye. Looks like we got a college boy on our hands. I did. I graduated two years ago. Put those mitts away.

God. The listener thinks you picked up a honey-baked ham and slapped it against the ground. Yeah. Look at those things. Jesus Christ. Tear your soul out with these things. Is this well known that he has powerful hands? I think everyone probably just assumed that.

Yeah. It's not called Bigzo for no reason. It's not a video on here, but I don't want anybody to get any misconceptions, small penis, for the record. Yeah. You could crush a clay wheel with one of those. Clay wheel. Yeah, you see a lot of clay wheels around there. Well, I forgot, I lie online.

I'm actually 63 years old. Oh, okay. All right, that makes sense. Yeah, when me and the Bones Brigade were pushing on clay, it was crazy. We had to worry about all the skate gangs. We had the Jacks breathing down on the neck The daggers, God damn it My friend Luke, his dad was in a skate gang in San Francisco

Called Jacks And one time I was like, so you were in the Jacks And he's like, Jacks Like the Jacks was Yeah ridiculous Yeah Jacks I mean you kind of sat

I think you sound like a poser It's like you going up Oh so you like the Ramones Yeah it's like oh you like the Pixies Ramones I'm trying to have a conversation with a quiet man with a hand tattoo that I've known for a long time. And that was my opener. It was like, hey, Mr. Lock.

So you were in the Jacks. Jacks. And then he walked away. I was like, well, that was my chance of this year to talk to your dad, Luke. Yeah. Oh, bad. Well, you know, I'm sure you got a million other questions for us, quite frankly. I'm glad that you're here.

I'm glad you're here because you can ask us. Where do you guys order your products from? Do you guys build in America? Yeah. I'm not I'm not trying to put you on the spot I'm just interested in everyone's merch I'm a big merch guy well and you're kind of in the merch business yeah so we we do it through chat and skateboards

who their woodhouse and Maine went out of business so they outsourced to clutch distribution which I believe is all out of California okay all right yeah I mean you could have said you're from China I always want to know like unit prices on things that people are getting yeah because there's all these different ways to do merch I would never sell my own deck but Let's do the Bonzo deck

Well, yeah, the Bonzo See, I gotta know who Bonzo is first at all Before giving him a deck I think that's the only thing that's holding me back What if I said he had the he had the swaska covered up All right, you know If he covered it up, that's huge Yeah, yeah

So we don't have to deal with any sort Jason Jesse sort of No, no, no You know, sort of It gets kicked off converse years later I think Jason Jesse did it because HH and he's J.J.

Could be all because of alliteration. Yeah. Yeah. All this anti-Semitism could be because alliteration. Yeah. Dude, I was saying so much tough last night because I've been in Europe for 40 days where they're just like not at all pretending like it's not a genocide. Yeah.

You know? It's like I was fired up on stage last night. Yeah. Woo! Yeah, it was crazy. I hung out with this French guy a lot and he was like, you know. There's like people like sending mail bombs right now. It's pretty lit up. right now yeah so yeah I like to be an uncultured swine yeah yeah personally that's just how I've

lived my entire life you should go you should go over there I've been to London twice yeah yeah but go to Paris or something you haven't been out of the side of England oh yeah because I'm like I'm worried I'm like well I speak English right right they all speak and I can't understand him anyway when I go to England so I might as well go to Paris yeah no and then Paris you just walk in and you're like bonjour and they're like okay we don't have to do that I just hear that everywhere in Europe just hates Americans. They hate the Americans that they like walk around going like, Why can't I get a turkey sandwich?

Yeah. You know, like it's the dude in the shorts with the backpack who's frantic and being rude to his kids that they... Bros, probably. There's plenty of Americans over there that really don't actually want to be over there. For sure. You know, just like tourist-wise. Oh, yeah, they got dragged by their wife because last year they went to Daytona. God damn it.

Yeah, exactly. But no, you would be, you would be embraced over there. You're walking around in all black with your cool hair. Yeah, thank you. You know, your heavy eyes. Thank you. Big hands. I appreciate you noticing the heavy eyes.

Small penis. Yeah. You have eyes that make you be like, what have you seen? Exactly. This guy's been through some shit. Yeah. Did you, like, drive through a school earlier today? I drove through a school bus.

Yeah. It's just his allergies. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Oh, well, you're. You know, you're ruining the mystery, the allure. I mean, I don't know. Yeah, yeah.

Edit this. Edit this. No, no, I've seen, I've lived a thousand years of torment. It's true. I've seen it. I've seen it. Yep. And, uh, yeah, build's character.

I understand. No. That's why you're so big. You have the weight of the world on your shoulders. Exactly. From a young age. Yeah. So what's your excuse?

Oh, I ate a bunch of snacks. Oh, okay. I like snacks. I like freidos on my sandwiches. We do, hey, do you know what? I haven't tried that. We love snacks over here. What are some of your favorite snacks?

You know, recently, I've been getting back into gummies. Ooh. Because I quit drinking, and I just supplanted that with, like, different kind of gummy textures. You need the sugar, too. The sugar, of course. Yeah. But also, because I was just doing M&Ms, a lot of, like, peanut butter M&Ms. Yeah.

But the gummies, you can linger. And they have different, like, there's, like, a scale. There's, like, a one-three-five scale. And five is, like, the hardest one. And that's when you can kind of, like, put in, like, a dip and just kind of, like, suck on. for a while and I'm also trying to use less nicotine pouches so the gummies are kind of like this yeah that's that's where I'm at you like the coke bottle gummies so I was about to say that my my favorite flavor before I went to Europe this time was the coke bottle I love the coke bottle

which is just lemonade someone fucking ruined my brain and lemonade wasn't selling so it's like it's kind of a lemony flavor but it tricks you but now I'm into these green apple gummies that have like a little goo inside, like a gusher, but they're hard outside, so you really have to work your way to the core. Damn. I've been liking those. I think we can all agree the universally most hated

snack, gummy. I don't know if it counts as gummy, but circus peanut. Circus peanut is like a wartime vestige that we should have got rid of with Victory Gardens. It's insane that if anyone's ordering a circus peanut, you're like, all right, let's get you back to the home. Yeah, seriously. Yeah.

We went to a blockbuster once and we were getting snacks, or forecast me to get them with snacks. and I bought him a bag of circus peanuts. Oh, yeah. And he was like, circus peanuts. What the fuck? What the fuck? He was so mad.

I felt really bad because he was, like, actually really pissed. Well, based on the impression you both did, he doesn't have any teeth. So the circus peanuts are probably helpful so we can gum on him. What the fuck? He just can't open his mouth very wide. What the fuck? Why can't he open his mouth very wide? I don't know.

It's all his circus peanuts. Yeah, because someone's stuck. in full of peanut. Yell exit fork who doesn't actually sound like that. It's just an impression that's gone wild

over in the last 20-something years. I like that. But Narako, he told me when he quit drinking, he used to eat ice cream. And I was just wondering if it's true what all the,

uh, everybody tells, uh, everybody that if you quit drinking, you'll become a wild success. Is that true? Is that the only thing holding us back? I don't know,

dude. I mean, I know plenty of people who drink a lot and they're very successful. Exactly. So I don't think so. I, I only quit. because I was getting so fat.

Yeah. Being so fat, because I would have like 12 Miller lights a night whenever I did stand up. Yeah. So I had to divorce it from stand-up. Did it help at all with your set? Oh my God,

I'm so much better. Were you? Literally everything in my life has since I quit drinking, there has also been this occurring, this like meteoric rise. But why? I don't think there's any signs behind it, so we don't have to worry about it.

No, no, no, no. But why? I don't know. I think because I'm better on stage. So now a lot of people are coming for the first time because of these big platforms I've been on

and when they come the first time because I'm the guy from the internet I need them to come back again like the next time they're taking a chance this time I wanted to become a Sam Talent fan so I can't be hung over or have bad shows like

yeah it was sometimes on I remember one time I got off stage on the second show in Cincinnati and my buddy Nathan was like slurred a couple words I was like yeah yeah but you know never happens and he went it doesn't

and I was like oh fuck am I like not aware that I'm slurring when my best friend is, hmm, it doesn't happen, huh? That one was tough. Yeah. So, yeah, that's when I kind of was like, I'm going to see if I'm better. But I learned how to do it stoned and drunk,

and then I quit smoking weed, and then I quit drinking, and I started smoking weed again. So it's like I had to rewire my brain like twice to do stand-up. Yeah. Like the circuitry was designed on me being drunk in stone when I was 18, 19, starting out. And now it was, like, weird to kind of like solder these new pathways. But I think that it's good. I think I'm quicker, you know, I'm not, I'm not groggy, that kind of thing.

Yeah, no, I definitely, I mean, yeah, I don't think that, uh, anyone's going to argue that you're not quicker, I mean, when you're not drinking, but, yeah, and I'm also not going to say that you should, anyone should quit drinking, you know, I mean, well, I mean, we, you know, I mean, let's just look at, I don't know, Shane Gillis. I know, I know, but I think Shane drinks even more now because he's been annoyed at the voice of a generation. Yeah. There's an enormous amount of pressure.

He's got a piece of sponsor. Well, sure, but even before he got that money, he was still drinking the Bud Lights, you know? And I think I have so much empathy for Shane because it's like he's been, everyone has decided and well deserved. He's an amazing comedian. So creative, prolific. Yeah.

Good community. I've always said to Shane, I'm like, you're so punk rock. And he hates it. Yeah. So he literally like built a community of friends and brought them with him. And, you know, for some reason, he's like, uh, he's like, Neil Young. He appeals to both sides. I know. Yeah. Somehow he's found a way to do it, you know, where it's like, you could be

like broiest bro, punk is punk. Right. We all still love you. Yeah, of course. Yeah. I mean, Shane's appeal is from something very, very, like, I don't know. It's got to be molecular because I think everyone looks at him and they're like, you remind me of a guy I knew once who was super funny and I want to listen to you talk. Yeah. But now since like he is so funny, I think a lot of he's, I just hope he's, I want him to always chill. It's like, Shane, take some of his money and, like, take your parents on a trip. Like, enjoy it, bro. Yeah.

But he's so driven and he wants to kill God and I admire him for it. He wants to kill God. Well, you know what I mean. Like, he had that he got hurt in a public way, and now he wants to prove to everyone. Oh, right. He's trying to make the world flinch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's one of these.

Yeah. On the zeitgeist. I know. I know. Well, I hope his reign's good, you know. you know like louis says it doesn't always last forever so i know but yeah it seems like at the moment you can do no wrong season two of tires was great i haven't watched you i have it on the download on my phone i'm yeah well i can't wait i had to read all the fucking pages you sent yesterday

well you know this is an important podcast like i said this could literally make or break the company this is the only thing keeping the company alive right now is having you on this podcast we've invested a lot of money into it i understand and i appreciate that you got the cash yeah i didn't I mean, I know you guys, hey, we're a company, but I wasn't going to take a check from you guys. And I did, I told you, we have the teleprompters, so you didn't even have to remember the script. You could just be reading off of here. I forgot, who's the professional? Who's the broadcast professional?

Me or you? So, thanks for help. You know, Tom is the engineer of the Fancy Ladd podcast, right? Your name's Tom? Well, no, that's actually Vic. Do I, are, were you giving this to me, by the way? Or is, you should not. If this is a sacred relic, I mean, please, please, this is, this is a, take the 99 version.

Please keep that over there. Can I give them the 99 video? You don't have to at all. You don't have to give me a VHS. Just make it, one of them, one of them is burnt. That one's not. Do you have a VCR? I do have a VCR, but I would never open it.

You know what I mean? Oh, perfect. dude I'm not sure if you've seen the 99 video I'm gonna give this to Bonzo

again with the Bonzo Blanzo goes to Blitzkrieg Well that's the thing Is he's been my friend Since third grade He's the guy In both my specials Who's the camera guy

That's why they look That way Because of Bonzo Oh really And then also He's the camera guy In Wide World So

Nice Now I'm just constantly Making him Go across the world With me Yeah But you couldn't have him Be the camera guy

And the Chubby Bohemith I don't know The camera guy In the Chobo Behemath is my phone set up in front of a hotel television pointed at us. Because don't watch a podcast. Go outside.

I'm always yelling at these people. Go outside and listen to this in a park. Yeah. You know? It's sitting and watching me and my fat friend in our underwear in a hotel bed from like crotch level. But what else do you do on your downtime while you're at work? I mean, usually not film ourselves. Dude, I opened for Chrysher and arenas like a year ago.

And the amount of people walking around is waiting for something awesome to happen. with cameras is like everyone go to bed waiting for what christner to just come out with his shirt off yeah yeah they want christner to come out and be like fucking christner who wants to watch me eat 12 eggs everyone's like we do how are you cooking them yeah exactly poached poached poached oh you want to ask really hard about the word poach you want to see somebody that comes across as a poser you listen to that chris cole peerod bert christner podcast oh my goodness video oh yeah there's a video you're gonna love that what happened i just he's like i'm obsessed with skateboarding they didn't know is absolutely nothing about

skateboarding the entire time yeah it's like you guys know me i'm just obsessed like i he's like so like what's an ollie or like that's an example he doesn't say that verbatim but i know he's your best friend so i don't want to talk shit at him here on the podcast but I know not just best friend but like hero yeah exactly yeah I like I apprenticed yeah that's what you don't know you haven't gone to a level of stand up yet where like you have to get your like guild card hmm how would you say is your muse in a way no no I was his oh yeah I was his like young kind of like you know I brought something out of him yeah yeah so you had a romantic relationship and he never been shirtless yeah yeah but I saw I said you know what take that off

because I know how beautiful you are. Before I started doing stand-up, and I might do it for the... We're making a fancy lad TV show. Awesome. Yeah, it's going to be like a six-episode mini-series. I'm editing it now. That's great.

Yeah, thank you. Good for you. Thank you, yeah. A lot of debate where to put it up, but we decided to just put it up on Jankham and do it for free like we always do all this countless hours of work for nothing. Isn't that fun? It is.

Dude, it's crazy. Yeah. Like, I'm taking the whole crew to Australia and New Zealand to do a wide world. Yeah. And my dad does my taxes, and he's like, hey, buddy, how much money are you making off of Wide World? I'm like, zero. Yeah.

And he's like, you're spending a lot on it. Yeah. You got that right, Dad. Yeah. But for season two, I had this idea for season one, but never happened. But for season two, I wanted to go up just to the open mic where I usually do stand up here in JP, Yell Exit Midway Cafe. And just because, like, in the show, I'll be like watching.

Burt beforehand and then I go up and I take my shirt off and then I'm just really uncomfortable and I just cover my boobs and keep looking back at my shirt while awkwardly trying to do the worst stand-up you've ever heard yeah yep I'm loving it I'm loving it so that's an idea that's a little spoiler that may or may not be in season two you burnt the bit man damn I know well edit that out I'm gonna all this part I was gonna beep out that whole section it'll be fine yeah exactly bird's name and they won't know what the shirt thing is. Put it really loud, too.

So that's got to damage. Just replace a shirt with pants or something. I think that that's a very, but are you going to preface it? So at the open mic, you're going to be like, guys, you know, I'm kind of new to this. I'm going to be like, it's my first time. My first time. Yeah. But, you know, I've been watching a lot of the greats.

Yeah. Been watching a lot of stand up. I think I'm ready. Right. Boom. Shirt off. Shirt off. And then.

Toss it so confidently. No, you got to put it on the mic stand. Oh, okay. That's the move. Yeah. Yeah. And then throw the whole mic stand Well, I mean, if you've been watching Bert, you know

You know where the shirt goes Okay I mean, if you want people to watch this with any sense of versimilitude If you want to look like a poser, hell, go ahead I'd be like, well, I guess someone's not a true Diehard Burt fan like Sam Talented No, you know, it would be great You take the shirt off, you whip it into the crowd

And then you go through the whole like Yeah And you're like, can I get that back? And then someone won't give you your shirt back And you have to leave nude That's good And then your pants fall down as you're walking on stage And then I trip

And then I fart Yeah, exactly You have to fall with your ass up And you put a bunch of flour in your butt crack Before you go on stage so when you fart I haven't tried that That's good You haven't done that

No, I haven't heard of the flour in the butt crack Well, you're gonna be really sweaty What else is flour for? Yeah, I mean Wow, God Maybe baking or something I don't know Maybe baking

Fucking idiot Pretending to do cocaine with it I don't know That's actually a really cool idea That's pretty cool Yeah You could do that too That good.

Yeah. But the flour and the butt crack, I haven't heard of that, and I'm going to try it. I think it was in one of the jackasses. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, you should do flower butt crack. But you're going to be sweaty, so you're just going to have Nyoki. Like, it's not going to be, and then you're just going to have like a weird anal yeast infection.

Noki, uh, are you talking about the potato pasta? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right. I mean, that's kind of like it. That's like, I was confused. That's like an infinite food glitch, you know? It is.

You're making your own dog. Yeah, yeah. Around the corner, usually the fudge is made there. Right. I was confused because for a split second. Yeah. That was gold, guys. Sorry.

For a split second, I thought I was confusing with mochi. I thought you were talking about the gelatinous ice cream. The pounded. A little snack. Yeah, yeah. That that would come out of my asshole. And then I would eat it. I don't think that you're going to, well, maybe if you, if you, do you have a real, like, do you have no butt?

Are you just flat? I got a butt. Okay, because you have a plus, and you can found that mioki, that mioki. Yeah, you guys all have, like, some legs. Somehow, yeah, no, I'm built, like Matt Tomasello says, I'm built like a robot from the waist down. Yeah. And with an average Joe potato body plopped on top of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So from the waist down, I got a butt because it's pure muscle. It's like someone built a beautiful terrace, and then they just put, like, they went on lunch break, and the new guy came in. And it was like, I don't know what I'm doing. contractor was like, we're going to save money on the top house. Let's just put this mud up here. Yeah. Fuck it. We got a sturdy foundation.

I remember one time I saw my buddy garbage in like tidy whiteys and he was a big skateboarder and his fucking quads were like ripped. And I was like, oh yeah. That's how come you guys can do that. Yeah, tree trunk legs. I mean, I'm pushing around. I was the big jock. Yeah. I think I was literally wearing a letter jacket when I saw his thighs and I was like, oh, damn it.

You just take it off. Right. Give it to them. This is yours. Put it in the trash. I'm pushing around like 260 here. What do you expect? My legs are going to get fucking jacked.

I understand. And I wouldn't even think you were 260, but you're so densely marbled down below. I thought you'd be 230, but you got to meet down down. Yeah, thank you. Good for you. Thank you.

Originally, I wanted to do a, do you, are you familiar with the wetking ball? Yeah. I have the internet. Okay, good. I know how deep. You keep saying I'm a poser. I'm a poser.

I don't know how deep you're in on the scape. So I'm very, I, a lot of my feed is, my Instagram is mostly, there's a lot of skateboarding involved, but I don't want to come off as if I'm putting on airs. So I'm pulling back purposefully. But yeah, I know about the ball. Yeah, the ball. Before the ball blocked us on Instagram. No, you're blocked by the ball? Yeah, the ball blocked us. This whole thing is being too much for TV. I know. Yeah. Get why, get, I'm not, I'll say a million times while he blocked us because I think it's so stupid. Yeah. He was doing a podcast with Sam Hyde. Mm-hmm. I tell my roommate, because he said he always messages him on this, like, meme account. Yeah. He hits him up and says, can't wait to see you tomorrow and skate. And then the ball contacts me.

He says, stop telling people where I am. I'm there to work and then blocks me. No way. The ball. Huh. The ball. W.B. Warner, brother.

Yeah. Hello, my baby. Hello, my honey. Hello, my ragtime gal. Michigan J. Wecking ball. But before that, I proposed to the ball. Yeah.

He was actually going to be on the podcast a week before he blocked me. What? But I proposed to the ball that we do a video where it's like a game escape with the most jacked versus the most unjacked skater being myself. Yeah. Just as like unfit. And he was down. That'd be hilarious. I know.

It's good stuff. Not anymore. Not anymore. Apparently I can't. You're not going to be the bell of the ball. Tell him. Tell people where he is. Yeah.

Dude, Nick, Nick Rochefort, the other guy from Sam Hyde's pod? Oh, yeah, yeah. He's the best. So funny. Dude, it's so great. I want to go down to his store in Rhode Island just to see if he's there. His house is beautiful. When I did the connection in Rhode Island, he took me into his home.

And I met his beautiful daughters and his beautiful, normal wife. And his just, the house is like, they designed it all themselves in the woods, you know? Were you on the MD pod or something? No, I was not on there. a lemon party i don't know if you know ben avery they were also in town and they did the pod that week instead of me no i'd love to go on scuffed realtor sam hyde makes me scared sam's always been nice to me but he's wondering if he would scare you because he scares us that's why he's huge and jacked yeah yeah and like has a hyperactive mind that works in a lot of different ways right

he's only been nice to me but i've never been like at ease when i'm around sam hide yeah i've also admired his stuff forever yeah so guy's genius but yeah he is he is Because you don't know if, I mean, it's chaos. You don't know if you're going to end up being the troll, one getting trolled, you know? Yeah, like I don't like the idea of like maybe there's a prank going to happen. Yeah. You know, just being on edge that way. But Nick couldn't have been better.

Nick so he did our podcast, he was super funny. Yeah. He'd do your pod. You think? Why not? He's like me. He wants to look cool with youth culture, you know? Nice.

Yeah, yeah. I don't know if he knows much about skateboard. We're youth? Yeah. I think a lot of you still aspire to, you know, play Edward 40 hands while, you know, pushing around out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's the weird thing is, like, all the kids, they don't remember, like, the, I'm, I'm on thin ice here with myself. But I remember when, like, those Baker videos came out, you know, and then when Death Wish happened, it's like, oh, my God.

And they. So there's probably kids who are getting that from your shit now. There's probably, like, you know, young people who are. Right. well You know skateboarding doesn't seem like it's aspirational anymore

It's gotten so so technical And there's such like gifted athletes I know right I feel like my comedy's aspirational You're like that guy's just like a fat guy Who's up there being silly Yeah And I feel like that's you guys are

Well that's why Baker was inspiring Because they weren't afraid To show the the rawness of it Whether they You know I mean now they're all sober But you know Whether they influenced everybody

To be You know Fucking piss drunks Right exactly Like there was Johnny Knoxville was the coolest guy And then Dolan happened You know It's like that's how cool he was

We all wanted to be him Yeah I always thought Bam was cooler than Knoxville Well no because Knoxville had style With those high pants You know like I really admired He was like the only male fashion icon I remember ever having Yeah

Fashion icon Mm-hmm Yeah I guess Bam I mean he didn't really have fashion Until he went in the whole him Dark boy base Yeah, exactly.

When he started just dressing in hardogram merch. Yeah, exactly. He got like, whenever you start wearing leather bracelets, that's when you got to take your buddy aside and be like, come on. What are you doing? Everything okay. Yeah.

Just call whoever you hurt. Yeah. There was a guy named Brad Stewart, who was a comic in Omaha, and he used to wear leather bracelets. And like, I knew him forever, and I knew that he thought they were cool, and I never made fun of them. And then one time I was in Omaha, and finally, I made fun of him. And then I didn't see him, and he died.

Like the last thing I did. Damn, I was not expecting that. Yeah. Like six months later, he got a terrible cancer and died real quick. I thought you were going to be like, I made fun of him. Yeah. He turned his life around. Now he's the CEO of a company.

No, he's dead. Yeah. And Luigi shot him. Luigi got him. Luigi fucking got him. You think it was, you think it'd be Wario. Yeah. Exactly.

You know? No, no. I know. Or even Wa'a Luigi. I mean, come on. Well, what's his deal? I feel like he runs bank scams. I don't think Walaigi's a shooter.

What's the deal with Walao Luigi? See? You ready? Yeah, I'm ready to go up. Go back to the studio tonight. There doesn't need to be any punchline, right? No, no, no. Yeah, I could just say a question, right?

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and then go. And just wait to see if anybody answers. Uh-huh. You know what would be funny, dude, for your, uh, for the Kreiser bit. Yeah. If for some reason you have an earpiece in, just like an earbook, you know, like as if someone's feeding you lines.

Yeah, yeah. A little small detail as if you needed help with this. horrific set. Right. And then like while you're like crying and covering your breasts every now and then you just go. Yeah. And of course all the standard would be like, yeah, so men are like different than women. I don't know if anyone's noticed this.

Yeah. And I just keep going off on some sort of sexist. And that's what's cool about being new in comedy is you can do high concept stuff like that. Yep. And it's it's still like you don't. There's no risk. It's not the risk. It's not that.

it's so much like I know like you what you do comedy so long that you kind of know like how the parts of like you you you kind of see through the math of it you know but like when you're young in comedy you still do these big things without being like so you're telling me this is secretly a terrible idea no no no no no no no what I'm saying is you're still new in an art form and you can do things that after 20 years you're like I can't do that anymore you know I can't pretend like it's my first time and true like I can't you know yeah you can still get away with a lot of stuff yeah yeah that's true it's fun like i can't like bomb in an open mic anymore right because when i do an open mic everyone's like oh my god it's sam talent yeah i record him

right post it on instagram and then they or they or they can't bomb because they laugh just because like they're stoked i'm there and it's like well this wasn't i didn't get anything out of this visit to the open mic right you take it you're like born in the u s yeah they're doing the worm he's doing it yeah he's doing the born thing he did the water thing it's like kramer walking it He said, well, I've never done that set. Yeah, that's true. Michael Richards. Yeah.

But, you know, before the set. You were saying before that you wanted to, though, right? Oh, yeah, you were asking me some of my favorite stand-ups. Michael Richards. Not Kramer. Yeah. Not Kramer. Yeah.

And it's only one set. Yeah, it's just one says specifically that I really, really enjoyed. It's like when you get a good fish tape, you know, you're like, I wasn't at the show. But before that on the show, he was so popular whenever he would just burst in the door, everyone would just start cheering in the live audience. Yeah. And it ruined his life and then he had to be overtly racist in public. Because I think the rest of his life was just people being like, it's Kramer.

And he's like, I just want a bagel. And everyone wants them to be like, you know, like drop it or spill the coffee on his balls. Everyone's disappointed when he's not the wacky hijink machine. True. And I think he walked on stage that night at the laugh factory. And a lot of people were like, hey, it's Kramer. Yeah. And I think we saw the man's head sever and two in the devil pop.

I think if it was a little later, though, he could have just gone into the right conservative line. He could have been on Fighter and the Kid. Could have had a huge audience. Yeah, yeah. Well, the thing, too, is he had billions of dollars from being on Seinfeld syndication. Right. He doesn't even have to do comedy anymore.

Yeah, that's true. I know I'm from UHF, the classic, you know. Mm-hmm. But. Yep. And Fridays. Yeah, Friday. Yeah, exactly.

That's all I watch. when I came in. I heard you were watching Happy Days. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I ran out of Friday's episode. So it's like, what's another days? Well, it's tough to find those TVPs, too, you know?

Oh, absolutely. Well, it's the same thing with Happy Days is they just keep showing the same episodes over and over. Yeah. I think it's the music rights. Oh. Yeah. But I had a dream the other night that Fonzie was in. It wasn't Fonzie, but it was some old guy.

By the way. You call them Fonzie, not the Fons? No, I don't call them the Fons. So I'm on a second name basis with the guy. Yeah, nice. Sometimes call him Arthur, you know. Artie, if he's nasty. Yeah.

But what's the appeal with Happy Days, just the ultimate comfort show or something? Well, he had a great joke that I stepped on, but it's the next day after Friday. Right. Awesome. Awesome. Sorry, that didn't get that. Well, I mean, not just the next day, but Monday. Tuesday.

Right. Have you guys visited the statue in Milwaukee? No. No. Never been. Don't know if I've been to Milwaukee. Oh, it's a beautiful American city. Canals through the water?

You can ride bikes all. around it awesome i've been once i've been once that's where i first visited uh tim olson from the bees yeah you ever seen the bees videos you'd love them yeah i'll i'll send you some links you'd fucking love them yeah i want to ask you guys because this has been haunting me for a while and bonzo doesn't remember do you remember a skate video where there's it's like party footage be real party footage and it's the kid who's getting the haircut and he just keeps repeating i've never had a haircut in my entire life yeah enjoy bag of suck That's what it is?

Yeah. Bag of suck. Yeah. Dude. It's Caswell, Caswell Berry. Aswell Barrier. Bonus features.

It's the bonus features. It's the bonus features. See, that's why I've never had a haircut in my entire life, let alone a shaved head. Yep. Yeah. That's the quoth. And he just keeps saying, I've never had a haircut in my entire. I got to write this down.

He's like, at first he's like, I've never had a shaved head in my entire life. Yep. It's bag of suck. I've never had a haircut in my entire life, let alone a shave. head awesome thank you oh you're welcome it's been something we haven't been able to figure out for years and years hey pain is weakness leaving the body that's right i know but man if you put some weakness in oh oh baby oh sweet sweet weakness you got yourself stew going siren song oh that gumble yeah yeah exactly weakness and a little bit of a self-indulgent sadness a little shoe

gazing and you know what i have to applaud you because you are the first guest that we've had on where we've asked several times uh you know i'm sure you have a million questions about us and you didn't mention matt tomicello oh yeah and i i you know i just want to say kudos to you good sir well my my uh obviously so much of minutia and skateboarding that is and again again all my my entire fandom of skateboarding has been also also weed there's all these little glimpses of memories i have of like so that's why i'm asking all these very esoteric things Yeah. So you're in just a drug-induced stupor when you were taking in all the content. Of course, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or it was a lot of lurking. A lot of lurking at Denver Park.

Yep. Just, you know, hanging out, getting the roach of a joint. Because I, you know, no one's going to give me a joint. I'm just lurking. I'm the fat lurker. Yeah. Yeah. So there's a lot of that in my life, too. Yeah. Come to Denver. Come to Denver. I'll show you guys around Denver sometime or Detroit where I live. But if you're ever in Denver, I can tell you where to go. Do you know any of the Denver boys like William Spencer? Noel Boyt Sinclair? No. Any of those guys, they were all like on the Denver shop team. Right, 303. Was it 303?

I thought it was just the Denver shop. The Denver shop? The Denver shop. Interesting. Yeah, no, my only real involvement with actual Denver hardcore skateboarding was from like 2005 to 2009 or so when I was still lurking heavy. I don't know those guys. Angel Ramirez was, did you guys ever know about Angel?

The Foundation Rider? So Angel, no, so they're, I can't remember who he was with. I thought he was with. Anyway, he, like, he had a real tough time with Polly drug abuse, you know. But he was, like, the great hope for a while was Angel Ramirez. Was he on, was he on in, like, 2007 or eight? I think it was more like 2010. Could be.

I don't know. I know he got, he was on. Maybe, maybe before that. Maybe like 2000, 2000. Whenever that's life came out. Yeah. Well, no. That's life was before 2010.

That's life was like. Well, cataclysmic abyss was probably 2010. Yes. Yeah. It's so cool you guys can have these conversations. Yeah. This is great. Well, it's like almost all we can do.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's like if you're a music nerd, you're like, oh, yeah. I mean, bugging divo produced by Brian Eno coming out in 1977. Yeah, yeah. It's just like sticks in your head. Sure, sure, sure. Question, are we? No, man.

We are. about you know something like that man divo i when i lived in mouthhouse they really they got they got our hooks and we're eating a bunch of acid and listening to divo and we were like making the hats and it was like pretty weird time in my life yeah yeah this was like 2016 yeah you coined your own hat yeah yeah i love it thank you yeah the brimless the petite chapeau the brimless baseball cuff i don't know i'm showing it to the people like there's a video Yeah, exactly. That was, sorry.

I got old podcast, too. But yeah, this hat's cool, and I'm wearing these pants, and just allowing myself to be me. Yeah, that's great. And Carhart, because you do blue comedy. Exactly, yeah. Well, I also got to get to the fucking airport. I got some engines I have to work on.

I know. I'm a workman. That's true. Don't worry, I'll get you there really quick. Some guy was like, oh, you wear Carhart, huh? And I was like, yeah, he's like, workwear. And I was like, I'm at work. Yeah.

Like, at a merch line. I'm working. Yeah. What were you going to say? I was just saying I used to work at the airport, so, you know, I understand the blue-collar mentality. Were you involved in the Leufthansa heist? It was actually this thing around 2001. There's a couple of planes left from Boston.

Probably didn't hear about it. Yeah. No one really remembers either, so wouldn't worry. Was that the thing that, like, Seth Farland, McFarlane won't show enough of that? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that the guy from Ted 2? Right, right.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This time it's Ted. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Ted's back. Yeah. Son of Ted. Yeah.

I forgot they left from here. Yeah. Yeah. I think it should be like a plaque at a little bit airport. It's weird. It's weird how much you forget, you know? Like. It should be at the gate.

Yeah. Whatever, whatever they left from. Home of Flight 495. That's so funny. Yeah. Instead that. Now you got a bit. Instead, there's a bit for your act.

That's a great bit. Thank you. That's a really funny bit. Yeah, yeah. Instead, they just got a bunch of posters of all every single happy Madison production in the hallway. Do they really? Because Adam Sandler films in Massachusetts all the fucking time.

Oh, wow. They have other Boston movies too. Okay. But mainly it's Paul Bart, Mall Cobb, you know, zookeeper. A lot of Kevin James. That's so funny. Cubey Halloween. Dude, that's a good one.

I haven't seen it actually. It's fun. I watched it. it's funny he's it's just he's retarded again that's that guy yeah which he hasn't done recently right so he's just like and everyone else to be like well he's huby though yeah so we have to listen to him yeah it's good the throwback i can't wait for the new one coming out the happy happy gilmore too yeah yeah dude happy days gilmore too yeah uh yeah the crossover everybody finally you're not gonna be able to sleep i know if you thought your fonsie dreams were weird

We get the sandman in there Did you guys see Conan's Mark Twain? Oh yeah Oh dude What do you think of Sandman's thing that he did? Sandler for everyone not in the industry No we're sandheads Yeah we're sandheads

I'm talking about the listener Yeah Yeah I actually didn't see the beginning You saw me I came in late Oh that's true So you'll have to say what you thought of the sandman I mean I enjoyed it

I thought my favorite part was the was Nikki Glacers Yeah Because I had the interrupter I thought that was actually very good, especially because I was like, I don't know how good this Nikki Glaser thing's going to be. I didn't think she deserved to be there. Yeah, and then I was like, all right, I'm glad it's like a bit.

Right. Not that I really like her. I think she's great, but it was just kind of like. Right. There's so many other guests. Yeah, exactly. But then you forget that Nikki probably did Conan seven times. Yeah.

So, but yeah, the interruptor thing. And I thought that was kind of self-effacing on her behalf. Right. Everyone blamed her for taking herself very seriously after the brink. after the Brady thing. So, yeah, I thought that was cool. Yeah. Yeah.

It was just awesome. And how good he was at the end. Yeah. And just watching him, like, almost cry and laugh with his wife and daughter. Yeah. It was so much. It was very enjoyable. It was awesome.

Yeah. I like Will Forte. I'm a big McGruber guy. Yeah, dude. Come on. McGruber. So good. And also him on Tim and Eric.

Yeah. When he ate your own dog. I'm a demon. Dude, eat your own dog is the funniest thing. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Yep.

Wish those two boys would get back to comedy. But I mean, you know, Tim does the podcast. But you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah. I think Eric's... Yeah, he's got off the deep end. Yeah, don't look too deep into what Eric's... Yeah, just try to block out whatever Eric's doing.

Yeah, yeah, he's at his Bowie, period. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But, but yeah, Sam, thanks again for being on the podcast. Dude, this was so much fun. This was so much fun. I've been so nervous about it. I literally been nervous.

He should have been. Well, I don't want to look like a fucking poser, man. Yeah, luckily. I have that in me from being 13. It's one of these old wounds I have of not wanting to. to be outed, you know, but I just admire skateboarding so much. And it's like, you guys were in the streets. It was fun. I never, I never as a good boy playing football and wrestling and being in student counseling doing theater. I was never involved in anything where it was like at all

impeding anyone's day. Right. You know, but then you go hang out with your dumb friends and you guys are just getting into trouble. You guys are literally getting into trouble all the time. And I don't have that. I remember the first time my friend told the security guard at a mall to go fuck himself. And I was like, I'm going to be in the car. I have to go. I'm too scared. We're going to jail. He said, we're trespassing, you know?

Like, so it's just so much fun to be here talking to you guys. Because I think what you guys are doing is so much fun and it's cool and, you know, there's an integrity to it. You just haven't, you haven't lost what, I don't think you have lost the threat, you know? And that's good. So thank you for having me. I know. We're an old spirit in skateboarding, you know, that's, yeah, like you said, is lost with all

of its sportsmanship nowadays. There's skateboard tutors. My cousin's son has a skateboard tutor in Long Beach. Like, I don't know. It's so strange. In Paris, there's classes where they get women, and then there's like a young Hesher teaching him how to push. Yeah, we call him skateboard groomers.

Brooms, yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, you know, one last thing about Misha, though, that I thought was funny. He's the man up Ukraine. The only question you asked me is like, so music has groupies, comedy has chuckle fuckers. Yeah. What does skateboarding have?

Yeah. And I was like, I don't know, ramp tramps. Whoa, is that what they are? I guess that was the only term I was the only term. Yeah. That's great. Skate Park slut. Yeah.

Well, I think ramp tramps. Ram tramps. Yeah. Well, it's better. Hey, chuckle fuckers. Ramp. I know, that's a little. Right.

You know. Exactly. Where you like take someone's passport. You've seen it. Well, you know, I'm an admirer. But yeah, ramp tramp's great. And then there's buckle bunnies and rodeo. And then there's ring rats in wrestling, pro wrestling.

as ring rats yeah we get them all chuckle fuckers chuckle fuckers i love that term i had never heard of it before oh yeah yeah no i mean i never heard ramtrap yeah there you go different worlds that's a fucking shirt you can sell that's just babe just babes yeah yeah yeah some fucking heavy heavy titty babes out there some heavy cans out there people will buy it people love that shirt they love making bystandards horny un you know requested well we're the same age Do you remember the hookup shirts? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Just the horniest guy, Jeremy Klein, making those shirts. Dude, that was nuts. Yeah. That was so crazy. I, like, never. I had a hookup shirt, but I bought the one intention that didn't have tits. I was like, I can't wear this. I can't wear this.

I didn't buy one out of them. Because they didn't come in 3X. But, yeah, no, it was, I just remember being. Yeah. Oh, that's fantastic. I mean, he's still doing. I think he's still doing it. Hey, I remember scrubbing one out to one of those about a year ago.

Am I right? I remember, I mean last week Girls would wear them though It was one thing the art that was on there But the hookups and then baby doll So the high-wasted jinkos And there's a little, ooh, that's like burnt A little midrift?

Dude, a little midriff and a hookup shirt Some girl who fucking would do anything for silver chair Enormous DCs Double DECs Yeah Listen I got to go to the bathroom This talk is too much for me right now I can't

You can't? Oh yeah I mean, you showed me that drawing. What was I supposed to do? That was pretty early on, too. Yeah, thank you guys. He's been coming for two hours. Yeah, well, I'm tantric.

Yeah. Oh, cool. Yeah, well, you know, all five of our listeners, they're going to love this episode. Well, let's cross post. And Bonzo. Let's swap cast it. Yeah, let's do it. Do you want to put it out on Shubby B?

And we'll get more ears on yours. Yeah. That'd be great. Let's do it. Yeah, cool. We'll do that, man. All right. Well, we got to get you to get you to the airport.

Yeah, yeah, I've been home in 48 days. Oh, geez. Until next time, keep on rocking in a free world. Oh, shit. Uh, yeah.