Chubby Behemoth - Chalupa Bust

Episode Date: June 26, 2022

Social Commentary. Gym Teacher. Do You Have Napkin. Richarson, Becerril, Pysher.   Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   Extra episodes at https://www.patreon.com/chubbybehemoth

Hi, everybody. It's Chubby Behemoth. Please and thank you. It's a special episode because we have 15 dudes in the room. Them boys. We had a fun show tonight in Trinidad. Kind of. Wink. It sucked. What are you going to do? I blame the talent. I booked him on the show. It's Pat Richardson. You guys know him. He has a stupid voice. No, I don't.

Also, Andreas Pestero coming down from D-Town, Calo. You're welcome. Crushed it. Went up last. Close with the Uvalde joke. Talked about Uvalde and didn't get shot at

or booed off stage people like you did it yeah they fucking carried me on their shoulders that must have been tough like more shootings uh patrick and i talked about in the car we were surprised that you would bring it up but you did a good job because you had to like talk about being a parent so that you you're not just some like douche comic you know weighing in with no real like stakes or whatever. And then also the silliness. Don't give him a toy, Becker. He was playing with a fucking wister that was happy on mic.

And I just told him this doesn't make noise. Is that John Goodman style French? It is John Goodman. But I gave it to him because it's the quietest thing it doesn't squeak as soon as i made him switch chairs his visor was laughing into the mic he sits down and starts just you can't open the jar open shut he's not wrong podcasts are a lot like therapy and like if you're fidgeting with something you're more likely to open up and i fidget while yeah yeah constantly um but you

just can't give him a john goodman style fred flintstone action figure and i'm not it looks like you without a beard this won't talk if you play with it but yeah i i spoke about a school shooting through a parent's eyes and uh everyone thought i was done for having a kid but i knew the long time it finally worked yeah yeah like andreas don't come in here don't come in here i don't see the bit it's not funny and i And I was like, no, no, just wait. I'm going to get a half an applause break. It's all from Jeremy. So it's fine.

I want to hear about the dating scene in Trinidad. I would love to hear about the dating scene in Trinidad. It's not fun. I sure becker. Your hand, your chapped hands make me think that it's rough out there. It's just callous. It's just callous. It's not chapped. Have you ever heard of shower lotion? What's shower lotion?

A product Nivea makes now that's pretty great. It's tough to jack it in the shower. I don't jack with the shower lotion, but I am super dry since I moved here, so I do use shower lotion because it's great for not being greasy. And not jacking. Does anybody jack off standing up? It's like absolute shit.

That's in your 20s. 20s? It seems like a teenager. Your legs got treed up. I'm sorry, you weren't using your legs as a 16-year-old, just doing other shit. Yeah, well, I did, but I just didn't whack him into a tree. So, yeah.

Oh, I thought you were talking about the size of my legs, not me fucking it up on a tree. Yeah, I'm saying you had an additional set of injuries that happened to your legs that would make standing up in J-ing oh, less cool in your 20s. I don't know the last time I stood up and jacked It's been a while I feel young then

I was forced into standing up to have sex Like two weeks ago And it was the worst night of having sex I've had I think in my life Because I was mad about it the whole time Were you in a park? Were you in the woods? No we were like next to a hot tub

And it wasn't in the hot tub? I refused to do a hot tub because I made that mistake before. Yeah, it's bad. What does it do? And standing was better? No, it's like anti-loop. Like when you're in that salt water shit that they use instead of chlorine, it's like worse than normal water.

I think I've only like dry, I guess it'd be wet humped. I've only wet humped. I like to think there was like an old man waiting to get into the hot tub and he's like, you guys done yet? And you're just fucking next to it. He's like, get out of here. I mean, I could get in there. You guys aren't in the

hot tub. You're next to it. No, we did find out the next day that her sister for sure caught us. Oh. Like came back down to get snacks. Who wants rice crispy treat? Oh, God. Last door that we were there.

And yeah, the next day, because she was super drunk. So the next day when we were talking about it, she's like, yeah, I don't know why I demanded that. I was like, I don't either. We were two and a half feet from the couch and I kept bringing it up. And you kept shooting it down with very angry looks. An outside couch? No, we were like right next to the sliding glass door where the hot tub

is and it was terrible. We're like the same height so it was... Yeah, you had to dab that dog thing. Under and going up. Oh boy. Go dog. Like a dog pooping. You hit it just right though

where you're like, it's not even like a thrust. It's like all ass and ankles. And you're just looking at them for acceptance of it. You're mostly looking at the back of them. Am I a good boy? I wish just once in my life I'd come really fast. I'm trying not to sweat on you. I'm trying to stay hard

yeah it's gotta be hard to date here when you have to compete with the guy that choose and then spits into the urinal the guy that's uh still a trump person it seems like you guys should shine big and bright it seems like that that i've also like had more than chick where I was like, huh, what about her? And then seeing the dude she was with and been like, not at all. I'm not interested anymore. She's... That's not fair, is it? Yeah, it's slim pickings. Would you fuck a racist?

I thought you meant the guy was dopey looking. No. So are you. You're her type. No, not like looking. Known things. Coming in with a guy that's wearing like a blue lives matter shirt or the thin blue line shirt the flag or the punisher tattoos

or any of the stuff where it's like man some people are just apolitical though I'm just like seriously I don't know some people just don't care I wouldn't judge you for fucking a racist chick no I never have I would I absolutely would more important would't judge you for fucking a racist chick. No, I never have. I would. I absolutely would.

More important, would you judge me for fucking a racist chick? No. I don't see parties. I quit talking to a friend growing up. Wouldn't it be so fun to just fuck the shit out of a racist chick? This is a... Which race do they hate, though?

It doesn't matter. Who cares? They're idiots for being racist. Yeah, they hate though? It doesn't matter Who cares they're idiots for being racist Yeah they hate Asians Me and Sam and Bobby were on the road a few years back And we were going to stay At this girl's house that had come to the show And she was pretty

She was like a hair stylist She seemed cool And then she was racist And we were like, all right, we're still going to stay at her house. Bobby, you should probably still fuck her. What made her

racist? She said some shit. I don't know why I'm being I feel like I'm being racist devil's advocate. Yeah, you're horned up for the details. What did she say? Did she say it?

I don't think she said it, but she did. I remember we talked about the term moon crickets, which is an old racist term. And she used it and it was like, yeah, you know, like, you ever heard that? Is that what Ben got the bit from? Or did he just also run into an old man? No, I think, you know, like, you ever heard that? Is that what Ben got the bit from, or did he just also run into an old man? No, I think, I mean, it was just a term that was used

It's a very racist term from, like, the early 1900s. For who? For black folk. Why? Where's it come from? I think it was from, like, the moon. It was that slaves could, like, play music at night, and so they'd play

a fiddle or something. It's racist. Damn, Pinocchio's racist. It sucks. She threw it out there and it was like, yikes. Are we going to follow you to your place in our car or what and so yeah but he uh bobby did not bang her how do you how do you bring up an old racist

term i don't know we were talking we were in the south i don't know we were talking about something like i saw a dumb enough term though that i could see someone who like didn't know what it meant all the way thinking it was like kind of funny to throw out in front of a couple of comics and she thought i also used i of funny to throw out in front of a couple of comics that she thought were really funny. I also used to have it in a joke. It was my It was my I forgot.

I forgot. It was social commentary. It was about how there were, there are, it's crazy that there are these racist uh sports mascots like to have a redskins uh mascot is crazy the braves like we don't do that with other races i think it's just because there are so few native americans now that we're like able to get away with it like there aren't enough of them left that could like protest DC

or whatever and so I said like I have a feeling that if in the Super Bowl what was it the San Francisco Zipperheads played the Baltimore Moon Crickets there would be some rioting going on did you wear a fedora

when you were saying this shit yeah dude he brandished the knife going on. Did you wear a fedora? You wouldn't say this shit. God, did he brandish the knife? I was manic. No, I was... I don't know. I thought that it was... I don't want to say poignant. That sounds dumb as hell. But I was trying to make a point, and

that point was... Everyone should be allowed to say whatever they want. His point was Everyone should be allowed to say Whatever they want The point was we shouldn't be doing Any of it Yeah the point was that it's fucked up The ones that we do have And I was saying these other two

Where it's like this would also be bad I don't know it's like a lot of jokes I used to do I stopped doing them because It was like who is this really for I'm not like getting paid To like speak who is this really for? I'm not getting paid to speak truth to power, so maybe I should shut up. I stopped doing a lot of jokes.

You do that joke and you get two drink tickets and you're like, yeah. I'm changing the world. Look at me. And then they tell you, only Wells. And you're like, okay. So, yeah. I'm an Antifa super soldier That was

Yeah that was a long time ago I don't do that joke I save it for the pod I just say all my old jokes on the podcast And it's new content And they're funny because The people that listen For the most part know me they know sam r.i.p sam he got his dick bitten off by a dolphin and he bled out in the water and uh identifying as a

dolphin I should have said sea lion because he's on the Pacific coast. But I went with dolphin because that's what happened. People were surprised that there was a dolphin right off of the coast of Northern California where Sam is.

That's a brave dolphin. Sam thought he could be friends with it. I'm sorry for that one, guys. I really liked it. I just took the time to stand out because I'm going to have to give it a fresh air tomorrow. Nah, it's gone tonight. No, it's not. This is

not getting posted at 2am. Is this the free one or the Patreon? I have to decide when I hear a vote. That's what I mean. It's a race. So we gotta be better than Sam? You have to be, well, one's gonna walk the line

harder than the other one, I guess. Who's on Sam's? Some Gweez and some Gwo. Chris Durant used to be a big old guo, and now he's, you know, dabbles in gui-guo-ism. Can I hit this friend, Flintstone? Play with your guy.

The point of that is not mentioning it anymore. It's a quiet time. Sometimes the quiet toys are the loudest. It'sest loud outfit for sure what else were we talking about oh we were talking about not banging racists that's a good call

so how many racists are in Trinidad then you guys are like I can't do this there's one guy in a red pickup truck that just drives up and down my street a lot of mornings with his Confederate flag and his don't try to be flagged. Colorado wasn't even in the Confederacy. I know. All right. Does he?

No. You should make your own flag on your car that says Colorado wasn't in the Confederacy. Well, I just like, you know, being next to him and any of the old hot rodders that can hear the music that I play in my car. Look at me like I'm a big old, you know? Yeah. This guy gets it. Yeah. No, they don't look at me like that. They look at me like, what is this kid? I don't understand any of this. He's got a Jew fro that's black music, but a cool car. I hate this person. Is that a beastie boy?

See the one that survived the plane crash? What's the new Tupac? Whoa. Have you had success? New Tupac. I've done all right. You're doing all right and turned out right now? I've done okay.

Since you lost the tooth? Even better. He's doing better. That's what I mean. These chicks are down for a kind of dirt McGirt that makes me go, it'd hurt my feelings if you lost it. After seeing what you're into. What are you doing?

Why is he naked? Why is he so thin? I haven't taken his clothes off in 30 years. You don't know how to flip guys. Is there a dong down there? No. It's flat itself. The Rosie O'Donnell one had the dong.

He's flat as hell. The Rosie O'Donnell one had the dog. It'd be funny if cavemen or at some point in human development, there was just a person that had no dick yet. How did they reproduce? Nobody knows. And it came out like

sweat. It came out your pores. By, it came out your pores. Yeah. By where the dick would eventually be. Supreting it through glands. Patrick, you don't have a dick. How do you? I don't cum.

I don't cum at all. Oh, yeah? You just edge? I edge. Are you on a flexor, too? I am on a flexor, actually. I or actually i am on effects and it's real that like you can it's not the getting hard part it's the just the coming part but isn't that good because you can bang no for me i'm on two one i'm on well buterin which makes you low but the first

time i came after i got on well buterin it was like one of the best busts of my life so they kind of like even each other out for me i can last longer which has been nice but i can still go but i guess there is a point where you are supposed to come and have it be over and if that doesn't happen then it's not ideal for anybody. It's called being a woman during sex. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, that. And if you're fucking for too long. No one wants to fuck for more than 20 minutes.

Yeah, we're in our 30s now. Women are not excited by that at all. 15 minutes. I'm talking 15 minutes, maybe. Yeah, you don't want to hit them with that opiate, Dick. No. And still, most of the time, it's five by myself. So that's what makes it take longer. Oh, oh yeah you don't want that to go forever the numbers aren't as good anymore no it's like it takes

so long to beat off now that it's really like man i gotta like quit wasting time just be like oh shit i got 10 minutes yeah you just have to tense up it's what are you gonna do with the other seven i can make myself calm. You just got to tense up. All right. Let's all practice. You got to scare yourself. It's a really weird pep talk. Don't be scared to come, guys. Guys are tense up when they come.

And women are relaxed when they come. Yeah, this is a sex talk. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone wants to hear the opinions of five men on how to have sex I wish the listeners could see him laying on the floor

speaking to all of us above him in chairs peeling off Fred Flintstone's clothes fondling John Goodman's Fred Flintstone toy anybody want to hit this Fred I like how flexible he is John Goodman's Fred Flintstone toy. Anybody want to hit this Fred? I like how flexible he is. Yeah, Lon wants a toy.

He's 30 years old. He's too skinny. I mean, about. No, because I was alive. How old are you? 31. Yeah. Okay.

What year did it come out? 94? 93 maybe. So it's almost 30. Okay, yeah. What do you got to think? It's 28 years old. Yeah, you know?

He's got a... Sorry, I don't remember if I was a curve 10 or 6 when I got this toy. Looks like he should be jacking it with this one hand. He came with a brontosaurus rib. Oh, okay. That's what I call my dick. And I think a, like, some kind of cell phone looking thing. A cell phone looking thing?

Well, yeah, because it was a weird movie. It was a great movie. They predicted cell phones? Is that the first? Cell phone. Was he in the sequel? Aren't there two of them? I'm sorry.

Viva Rock Vegas. No, he's not. The second one is the dad from that British guy who plays the Shlubby American in sitcoms from that era. I don't remember. God damn it. I'm going to figure out who it is. Look it up.

Go to the web. Viva Rock Vegas. Yep. I said that. I remembered that. Nice. That's a British guy? He is.

That fat dude. Well, I'm almost black right No Mark Addy Oh weird Don't even know who that is Does he look anything like John Goodman Oh

You know that guy Yeah And he plays an American Shlub in most things I couldn't name anything He's super British He's British Yeah

British as fuck And he plays an American Shlub So good Pyshaw you look British Thank you What's the show he's british yeah he plays an american show yeah that sitcom still standing with that chick that was hot in the 80s jamie gertz oh shit yeah yeah it was him and jamie gertz as the parents and they were like hip cool parents and their kids were all dorks. Fun. Yeah. Tell a heroin story to the still standing.

Talk about how you sold your friend's dead body to a necrophilia. I did not do that. Oh, damn it. That would have been really cool. I bet that would have made us good money. Somebody was saying how we need to get Becker a microphone

because one of the few times he's talked, he said verbal gold, which was, I miss heroin more than any of my friends that it killed. Yeah, I do. That was sick. It's a good one. I mean, it's great. Yeah, often I miss it more than them. That's great.

Yeah. Often I miss it more than them. Man, the trick to basing heroin with cocaine is lemon juice. So if you're going to make speed balls, you make them ahead of time. You base them out of lemon juice and you rub it into a paste and then you can do whole sheets of aluminum and store little pieces of aluminum wherever you want. And then you can hoof it as you go you just unroll the aluminum so you can have it in your school books be taking hits in the middle of class you can have it in your wallet you can have it in your front pocket back pocket side pocket get some cargo pants on go wild when lemon juice is on a speedball, you can do speedballs anytime.

That's a fun trick. I remember the other day because I saw somebody basing something with lemon juice on TV and I was like, oh, yeah. You got hard. Holy shit. I just forgot doing it. I have a question. Yeah. I thought heroin was supposed to rock.

Like, it's like the best. Why do you need what? Just what's the coke for then? Just to you awake um i don't know how to explain it you ever like had a cigarette right after you smoked a bowl and it made you even more high yeah yeah the cocaine just makes the heroin hit harder okay there's like not really a coke effect you read a cherry slurpee yeah you read a cherry slurpee with the blue Slurpee also? That's not allowed. You're not supposed to do that.

You're a bitch. Heroin works weird, too, though. Like, you can take a hit of heroin and be way too fucked. You can take too big of a hit. Like, we can do a dab right now. A dab of H? That's what it is. It's dabbing.

It's just we were using foil because they didn't make dab rigs, and that's why I don't have my eyesight. It's just we were using foil because they didn't make dab rigs and that's why I don't have my eyesight. Because the surface that they put on aluminum and tin foil fucked up my liver and my eyes. I'm over here. But, god damn it. I don't remember what we were talking about.

So if you did a giant hit of heroin that really almost knotted you out and then you got 40 minutes later you're like guys i'm like fucking coming to you like does anybody have anything i'd be like smoke the cigarette as fast as you can and about halfway through it you'd be like which like tobacco can't do that to you it does something weird in your system where it reactivates the fucking heroin so there's weird ways to keep the alkaline of that opiate going and cocaine

works really well so instead of being really high for 15 minutes you're really high for like 45 minutes yeah i mean it's just like your analogy was like having the cherry slurpee and the blue one isn't it just like having the cherry slurpee and cocaine no it's like having a cherry slurpee in a camelback instead of a tiny little slurpee cup. It's like that. It's like making the thing you wanted last way longer than it was supposed to. Also, the cherry slurpee blue slurpee thing was a joke.

It was like having that and cocaine. Start poking holes in it. It was a jumping off point. That made me want to do coke and heroin at the same time. No, Patrick, no. I would never do it. Yeah, don't start that. Yeah, Andre's wants a Slurpee.

Do you know 7-Eleven? I know everything's closed right now, but what about 7-Eleven? There's no 7-Eleven. We don't even have one. You heard it here, folks. Trinidad doesn't even have a 24-7 convenience store. No, we do. We do.

It's a shell station, but it's at the last exit in town it's a three and a half five and a half like the second or third night i lived here i ran out of cigarettes at like because they everything's still closed even a little earlier when i first moved here and i ran out of cigarettes at dark like it wasn't even that late it was like dusk and i had to i was driving around the gas stations blown away that nothing was open and finally there was a cop parked in one of the gas station parking lots and i pulled up and was like me friend and uh he was like what do you need i was like hey man where the do i have to go to get cigarettes and he was like oh

do you know where the Walmart is? Yeah. He's like, the gas station across the street is the only thing open after 10 p.m. in this town. Dang. Do they have snacks? They do have a lot of shit, actually. Will you drive us to the gas station? If you guys do a good job in the second half of the podcast.

Okay, all right. What do you want to know? I will tell you everything. I love stogie. All right, get out of here. No, I'm going to do it. Oh, right here. Anyone else is welcome to it,

but it'll make you feel better about it. I have stogie. I just want a puff of it. Do you want me to hand this to you? He didn't mean an actual cigar. That is funny that he has two of them right there. He doesn't want a blast, a Cohiba. A Camacho.

Hector Macho Camacho. He was a boxer. Man, I wish I was more into wrestling. He was a boxer. Camacho. What a weird thing to want. No, just like all my cool friends that are nerds are into wrestling, and it's, I don't know.

This means you got laid instead. No, I fell in that weird time frame where it wasn't cool. And, like, by the time I was getting laid was, like, when it became cool again, but I wasn't an eight-year-old boy, so it doesn't. I got into wrestling in the least cool way possible. I got into it through a collectible trading card game called Raw Deal. You are correct.

It was sick. I wish I had the cards, though. Do you know what that game is? You've stumped Lung. It's sick. I wish I had the cards. I'm going to check what Mitch Jones' knowledge base of this is. Raw Deal.

I couldn't call in. It had a cool game mechanic That I haven't seen done in any other card game And it was based on like the raw Yeah you were a superstar and then your deck was all their Like moves and shit That's it So what if you didn't have their moves in your cards

I mean You'd have to get them So you were collecting cards in hopes that you had Let me get a pile driver in this bitch. Well, like every wrestler had their own starter deck and you get like three of their moves in the starter deck. But then there was like better ones that you had to get through boosters.

Was one of them like a kick to the butt or back rake? You had to pick face or heel and then you could only have like face cards or heel cards in your deck. What was this from? It was just a a i don't know what the company was called when was probably tops it was like i was in like middle school so like 2000 who'd you play with two three four how did you feel to get picked on by the dnd

i was playing youtube so who did you have? Who was your starter? I used the Hurricane I love the Hurricane Stand back There's a Hurricane Also a boxer Also a Bob Dylan song

About a boxer Also a drink Also a drink Also a hockey too Stop a drink. Also a hockey team. Stop saying things that hurricanes are. God damn it. Yeah, nobody said the

actual thing. Also a lady every time. Aren't they named after women? No. I don't think so, right? I think they changed it up like... God damn it I hate this fucking generation

no I vaguely remember being like a news story for a morning that they were like we're gonna quit just naming hurricanes after women hurricanes it's bad for misogyny okay it makes guys hate women more the storm attack

bitch took my house. She took everything. I woke up and everything was gone. The dog. The truck. The walls. It was just him on a bed. He's like, what the fuck?

Fucking Irma. Yeah, the hurricane takes his boat. He's like, cat fight. Because the boat's a lady too. Easy, ladies. There's enough of me to go around. The fuck just crutches them? Damn, I'm stupid.

Yeah, fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Well, yeah yeah Trinidad best town or greatest town I'm having fun I truly enjoy it because I run into people that I've met multiple times

even though I've only been here like three and I was like I got a feeling you're a core member of this community yep yeah there's a bunch of like uh hill people like that don't leave the house like you don't see them so yeah you do it does feel like this is a town of like 200 people because that's who you see and then there's like these random characters where it's like oh i wonder what their story is and it's probably that like

they inherited their grandparents house and are on disability so they don't have to like go anywhere except for like safeway once a month to get more diapers and like new rubber sheets and then they just go back to you know piss in the bed every night and uh sam dude sam's gonna retire down here so you can property tax here is so cheap if you had a house that you bought here more than 15 years ago, you'd need a couple hundred dollars a year. A couple hundred dollars? Oh, just to pay that. Just to live.

All you need is food and wheat and you can grow all that shit. A couple cans of gasoline to huff now and then. Hanging out in the garage. We live right by the second biggest elk herd in the country. Just go hunting.

You can take a couple. Nobody's going to notice. We saw like three or four dead deer. We should take one on the way back home. Let's just drag it. We're going to put it on the hood. We're just going to drag the whole thing back. Why would you put it on the hood?

To let me know. It was intentional. I'm just going to fucking drag the whole thing back. Why would you put it on the hood? To let me know. To let people know. It was intentional. You're going to have Patrick drive, not going to be able to see. That's fine. You ever seen a fucking dead elk on a Kia? I thought you were going to say Tommywood. Oh, yeah.

Just go five miles an hour so it doesn't fall off. No straps. Hazards are on. Or you guys are naked because you used all your clothes to tie it to the car. No around. You wish. Wait, speaking of being in the car, have you guys ever

road jacked it? I have once. You ever blast? I heard you did. It never crossed my mind that that was an option. Because your dick's Normally in the back seat Yeah for sure It's in the kids chair

You know Yeah But yeah no It was the first time Sam's done it He said he used to do it All the time He's the best at it

He's the best at everything He's always done everything First and better Than you could ever dream of Yeah He brings his vents on In his car And he just shoots out of the vents, come everywhere.

But yeah, that was the first time I did it. It was pretty cool. What was the second time? He just started the only time. He just started the only time. Yeah. You're like, I told Patrick, don't look at me. I did it in high school.

I think I did it like right when I got my license once. What? Yeah, I went and got McDonald's. How do you think you hit that tree? And the idea of McDonald's just got you going. What? You were like, it doesn't get better than this. I know, yeah.

Driving by myself in a car to McDonald's after this Taco Bell. A little slurpee or two. And then you're like, oh, hello. Shotgun. Physic in Taco Hut. You're like, I got to do this. In between your orders. And that completes my Taco Bell order.

I'd also like some pizza. Taco Bell order. I'd also like some pizza. Can you put taco sauce on the pizza? Do it yourself, sir. Okay. Do you have napkins? Yeah, I busted in my chalupa. That is so dangerous.

You barely knew what you were doing behind the wheel and then you whip it out. I was in Greeley. I knew those streets like the back of my dick. Pysher? I live in a town smaller than this. I only drove from 17 to 19, so there was a short period of

time. You start seizing and you're like, you're going to take my license away. I better grip it and rip it and make a memory. 17 to 19, no seizures or what? I didn't have seizures until I was 19. That's when they took it and really ruined

my masturbation schedule. The DMV took my license away, but I jacked on Thursday. Damn. You haven't driven? Have you driven at all? Yeah, a couple times.

You get drunk and you're like, fuck it. No. Someone else is sick and you need to or someone else has COVID and you need to run to the store. That sort of situation. They make you drive even though you shouldn't.

Someone volunteered. You're in a situation where you'd rather seize on a car in traffic and stay at the house. That's the patriot, right? Yeah, no, totally. Also, it's fun to drive.

It's the only thing I like. It's also fun to jack off. And it's fun to do bowling. It's like the only thing I like it's also fun to jack off and it's fun to do bowling it's like heroin and cocaine yeah you think you're going to fall asleep at the wheel I have fallen asleep it's called a lunge

I miss road jacking more than any of my dead friends I kill them all. I hit them with my coffee. I got one. Lund rolls the car. Everyone's dead. He's still jacking. It's the vinegar strokes.

He can't stop. Sneezing has to be more dangerous than jacking. Oh, for sure. Sneezing is supposed to be the most dangerous thing you can do. Every time I sneeze, I'll do it. What about this? What about this? When you sneeze, your brain does a thing where, like,

you're not reacting to what you're doing anymore. Is it more dangerous than closing your eyes for 20 minutes? Why would you do that? To feel alive. I'm sick of this shit and yeah I gotta you know it's illegal to be on your phone

so you gotta be risky mental jerk I used to drive on the drive to Seattle with my headlights off in the middle of the night so that I could really speed what?

well there's no lights so that nobody the cops that were parked couldn't see you coming oh my god and then you pass how did you see anything? Because your eyes adjust real quick, and you're not in town.

So once you get out of 70 and start going through all the fucking back roads until you hit fucking what in Idaho, that goddamn shithole town. Boise. Boise. That's like the first major Like group of lights you hit I guess if you go a certain way You can hit Salt Lake City But yeah

You can see fine And then the cops can't see you coming Your car's not lit So until you fucking pass And go on 135 Unless they're looking at the road Right when you do it They're not gonna see you coming

Or going You know that you've like Whizzed by a cop And they didn't Yeah Whoa I would jack it after that I'd be like, fuck you pig

You didn't even see my ass Yeah, I've also done it And then hit construction so bad In the middle of nowhere That it ate up all the time I had saved And I could have just driven fucking speed limit At the same time I was doing like 135 And it still took 21 hours to get to Seattle I'd saved and I could have just driven fucking speed limit. You could have just had the headlights on. It still took 21 hours to get to Seattle.

Dang old. Yeah. Man, we gotta let Becker talk more, I guess. I made it to Corona, California in seven and a half hours once. From where? That means something to someone. What the fuck?

I have no idea where that is in california but it's like california south of la damn which way is that makes sense how long have i driven regular people it's like time it's 11 12 shaved off five yeah we we blew up the motor on that car we bought a my buddy he's the god it's definitely a page he bought he bought and he bought a brand new subaru race car the day he talked me into quitting my job that morning to go on the trip because he was like i bought a race car we could drive that's like okay i quit bye guys i quit my job at a convenience store and uh it's not very convenient for the customers yeah we were i was like it was like my summer

after i got sober when i was living at my parents house in between years in boulder and uh yeah we had it pinned at like 156 157 for i don't know all of utah a good portion of nevada and then we got pulled over pulling into vegas on the way home going like 136 and i was doing a hit of heroin in the passenger seat and we get pulled over and his family's like big in the rodeo and the rodeo's big in vegas and we got pulled over and the cop like saw his name on the idea was just like calm down this whoa set us on our way and i had like sheets of foil up my fucking shorts and like a pen with just coated in fucking heroin up this this leg and i'm just sitting in the car like yeah because when you're freebasing off a fucking oh yeah yeah

empty yeah so i was terrified my cop just let us go like it was nothing and then also he didn't mention to me at like any point or i was so fucked up i wasn't internalizing it that like the rodeo was a big deal in vegas so like we're pulling in and i'm fucked up and all fucked up on adrenaline from getting pulled over so i'm all heroin up and adrenaline up which is not a cool combo natural speedball yeah except not it sucks it gives you like post cum brain where your brain's just like no good but also sad and anxious and weird yeah it's sad when you come it's complicated for you to no but you know where you start like ah man this sucks sometimes there's regret yeah even with a jo sometimes mostly with the jail hardly ever when i'm with a chick am i like oh no yeah it's

usually when i'm like man it's two in the afternoon i have to have the rest of the day this is a weird choice and then you just don't wash your hands. Let's finish that. I deserve this. Yeah, I gotta have this on my hands. Yeah, he was like, what hotel do you want to go to? And I was like, I don't, what the fuck do you mean, man? I don't care. I'm so mad you just got us pulled over in a city. Fucking idiot.

We got away with this whole trip driving like assholes in the middle of nowhere. And you were speeding like that in the city. He was like, okay, but where do you want to stay i was like i don't care then we walked in the hotel and he gave him his id and they were like oh yeah here and just like saw us up to the penthouse whoa which hotel did you go to which casino is working out we went to the mgm one night and then the one with the roller is it it Paris or New York, New York? That has the roller coaster. Yeah.

New York, New York has one. The Sahara has one. I think it was New York, New York, New York, New York looks like the city, New York,

the roller. Dude, I was, you were fucked up. There's a picture of me on the roller coaster that has been deleted from Facebook. Cause one of our gal friends, we met there.

We met like a group of three girls in Vegas on the way way home had the picture on facebook but it was us on the roller coaster i'm so high on heroin everyone else is like screaming and i'm just like staring straight ahead pale white not like sick looking but just looking like i'm watching something on youtube while everyone else is having a riot because i'm just so high. I'm like, this is cool. This is a neat little trip y'all got here. Wow. Becker's interesting. Very fascinating.

You should have his own episodes where he just recants. Recant isn't the right word. What's recant mean? That's right. You have it. Recant? Recant is to Take something back. Yeah, that's right. You have it. Recant? Recant?

Recant is to take something back. Okay. Yeah. You recant your statement. It means strike it from the record, your honor. Yeah. I didn't touch her. So that's not the right word.

When she was dead, she was alive. She was into it. No necro here. I'm a neophiliac, not a neccrophiliac i could have fucked some dead bodies at that funeral home if i was a sicko what that's weird i worked at a funeral home what the fuck i always thought you made that up no i really did what'd you do there how'd you get that job from my girl no i'm the i'm my girl from my girl i'm the girl that dies from bees well that's macaulay coquette oh yeah i i haven't seen that movie don't miss

have you really not seen that movie i think i have it's been a long time don't watch the second one the tar pits suck there's a tar pit yeah yeah they go There's the ring The ring falls in there What? Alright, Andre There's the ring She goes to stay with her uncle Shit got weird after Best friend boyfriend died

I didn't know What's it called? My Girl 2 T-O-O She's my girl too That's the uncle's perspective Oh no What'd you do at the funeral home? T-O-O. She's my girl, too. That's the uncle's perspective. Oh, no.

What'd you do at the funeral home? Did you hose off the dead bodies? Asking his genitals? Yeah. I wouldn't leave no trace. Was it your parents' funeral home? No, my friend worked there. I was in college in Greeley. You were a cryptkeeper.

Yeah, kind of. I mostly did removals, so I would be on call, and I'd have to build cryptkeeper. Yeah, kind of. I mostly did removals, so I would be on call and I'd have to build... He was on tickle patrol. His tickle their feet makes you... People wouldn't pay up and so you'd have to remove them from the

graveyard? Yeah, they stopped paying their rent and their graves and I had to go dig them up. Yeah. At the corner or at their house? A lot of old folks homes. So they just skipped going to the corner? Sometimes if it's an old person.

You have a closing on the ice for them? It just wasn't worth the energy to check. Yeah. Why would they need to go to the corner? I don't know. for like general knowledge of death well if it's an old person it's like oh i wonder what killed them yeah that's why still says died of old age when i can't kill you i don't something has to stop i was drunken in college i just they just told me where to take the body. So you never diddled any of them on? No. I had to dress

them sometimes. Like that Fred Flintstone? Yeah. You're off the clock. You did get that back on very well. You ever see like a giant hog or anything?

Or you were like regular dead hogs? Right anything? Or you were like, regular bed hogs. Right. But none that were like, make you take your sunglasses off. Meow. Okay. Cause of death.

Probably banging too much with that cool dick. You never saw them all purple and distended. My sister's a doctor. And she said when they worked on cadavers, that the dicks were like huge and purple. I don't remember ever seeing that. They probably had bodies that were dead longer. I don't remember.

Yeah. Is there anything that you don't want to think about that you would like to share? I did. There was one day I went in at like two in the morning by myself and did a funeral home. Free samples? You wheeze the juice. Cherry and raspberry. Sherm.

Dude tried to sell me Sherm stick in Reno. Dude tried to give me the hookup in Reno. Reno's weird, man. Sherm. I was like, no thank you. I'm going to try to play blackjack until I get kicked out for being 20.

Hell yeah. I'm going to try Sherm. What were we talking about? Two in the morning, you went in there. The radio was on and they were playing. You got two fingers deep. Yeah. 2 a.m., the radio was on. Just were playing You got two fingers deep and what? Yeah.

Just in the guy's mouth. Making him talk. You're the coolest, Patrick. Do we talk about this on here? No. Yeah, but that's fine. Why? Is this reminding you of the story you have or

like i remember talking about this and riffing about me like making them all dance on the strings it was on your podcast yeah my better cooler funnier podcast oh yeah yeah copos patrick podcast um it's called i Don't Know How to Use Saws. Yeah, there was just a dead baby in there. I saw a dead baby. That was kind of a bummer. In the person or in the morgue? Just in the morgue.

In the person? Well, if a pregnant lady died. Do they just use the regular fridge or do they use the long one? And then they were like oh no surprise baby i didn't know i was pregnant because i was dead it was i like gotta see him put the like embalm them and the embalming fluids like dyed orange and it like kind of brings them back to life once the fluid goes into their veins yeah yeah that was the third time we've been doing lincoln park a lot too we gotta blast the the third most famous evanescence song because that dude i told you guys after i left the triggers game a few weeks ago i was walking across town home and i was like was like, I like my little town.

This was a good day. And then somebody was at the car wash vacuuming their car and just blasting the third most popular Evanescence song. And I was like, holy shit. It's pretty good. It's not the slow one. Do you know how it goes? Bring Me to Life. And then the slow one.

And then the third one. I can't wait for you to start singing it. It's not Evanescence. No, it is. I just had it in the car. Dude, that's fucking Billy Joel. Well, you played it earlier, and we're like, oh, this just sounds like a Lincoln Park song.

It sounded like Lincoln Park. Forfeit the game. And then we started listening to Lincoln. No, we got there. Put it on. The pace is too fast. Going under? Put it on. The pace is too fast. Going under. Oh, yeah.

That sounds good. Yeah. It's okay. I mean, it's not today. There's got to be that mashup somewhere, right? They were cranking it. And I was like, even more proud. They were jerking off in their car to have lessons.

The fourth most popular one's called Call Me When You're sober oh yeah they want a little country i mean it was still it's his exact same structure they're like hey it ain't broke it brought us to the top why can't it do it again yeah I'm fucking drunk gonna beat you up you stupid bitch

you stupid bitch is that what it's called yeah yeah does everything it's their thing no it does everything oh it does everything but but rock butt rock I don't know where you got that from it might be how it was named I think he's just right isn't the original butt rock like ACDC isn't it

I've heard other people refer to pretty much anything that's on KBPI is butt rock that makes sense yeah people refer to Butt Rock. Pretty much anything that's on KBPI is Butt Rock. Okay, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, if Uncle Nasty shined down. Yeah.

Have you ever stared down the barrel of a.45? I think they're on tour with Stained right now and Aaron Lewis

is real still into Trump. Is that the Stained guy? Yeah. Damn. Oh, don't meet your heroes, folks. Oh, man.

I gotta stop shaving my head now. Are you going to watch those hearings? About what? January 6th? I love you, man. I don't care. Why would you watch hearings? You hear hearings.

You watch watching. You see scenes. They're so good. There's shit going on that I wouldn't know that I thought was going to happen. Is the big Braveheart style guy just in his Braveheart clothes?

They're not really after him he's already locked up yeah after trump he's straight up getting pounded like trump's daughter's testifying against him there's no evidence though which he has a different daughter no that daughter ivanka yeah he does he does have a different daughter that's two yeah Kushner's Kushner's wife is his other daughter hot no yeah and she doesn't look like Barron's like'9 out of nowhere What the fuck He's like a little He's a little He's a little 14 year old

And then all of a sudden he's just like Where do my arms go What if It turned out like Terminator Where Baron Trump Ended up being John Connor And saved all of us That'd be crazy I'd take it It's a tall order Barron Trump ended up being John Connor and he saved all of us. Whoa.

I'd take it. Kills his own dad. It's a tall order. Well, you should check out my fan fiction. Substack. I'm going to watch you while you're driving. Yeah. The two of you, Pysher and Andreas, had a podcast.

You guys don't do it anymore? We did 100 episodes and got out yeah we did a hundred had a bunch of famous people on there I really hated the entire time being on it why you guys were mean to him

no we were mean to Dave Grohl and Sean Jordan didn't like that Sean Jordan loves Foo Fighters. Sean Jordan hates hate unless it's the bloods. He hates bloods. Because he's a crip. Whoa. You don't know this? No. Sean Jordan

is a Montana, Wyoming. South Dakota. South Dakota crip. Jesus. Whoop, whoop. It's just a j, Wyoming. South Dakota. South Dakota Crip. Jesus. Whoop, whoop. It's just a juggle. Oh, a recent festival. Oh, you guys didn't have Dave Grohl on. You were just shit-talking him? Yeah.

I was like, you guys are mean to Dave Grohl's face. It was right after their drummer died. Making a flinch. What was your guys' question every episode? Should have been Dave. It should have been Dave, yeah. Instead of Dave Grohl,

you know. Instead of Kurt Cobain, we would take Dave Grohl, basically, but instead of Kurt Cobain, who would you pick? I love that because I fucking hate that.

I've been, I was saying the drummer for the longest time. So, you know. Mission accomplished. That's why you stopped doing the pod yeah yeah the death pool came true i just kept on manifesting every year i had my fucking cork board with my uh with my fucking with the calendar what are they called deadpool no vision board vision board vision board and it's just some fucking long fuck with the

drum set you don't have any pictures of bob newhart up in your house do you no good oh fellas let's go around the circle and say what snacks we're gonna get at the 7-eleven so we're not going to the bar we're not oh i don't know i thought it was gonna be closed i got like five boxes of mac and cheese i was ready to crack and get a slider of White Castle stylings. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? I couldn't tell. No, it was like, gentlemen, we can continue to drink. I got like five boxes of mac and cheese. I'll make it home.

I got spirals, shells, and normal. Can I cook them all at the same time? Yeah, for sure. That does sound pretty sick. I'm going to eat one of those nacho hot dogs. How many of those are gone? No. I only got to eat one of those nacho hot dogs. How many of those do you have? I only have two of those left. Oh, it is.

You can have one of the hot dogs if you come very close. No. It's over. How long have you been not drinking? I'm drinking for almost six years. Almost six years and you get broken by a nacho filled hot dog my shoes holding the hot dog up and i i bring my mouth close to it and the

pores of the heart i only just have white bread so oh hell yeah that sounds good off the wagon for a nacho hot dog sam would kill him oh yeah, he's not here. I get wasted, take my shirt off. Everybody loves it. Jake said he would break edge if you did. So I'm trying to have a good time. I did say that, huh?

Wait, I forgot. When you were talking about fucking, I was like, Becker, people don't want to hear about you fucking. They want to hear about you eating. And earlier you did a Becker. I had four Big Macs and two spicy, crispy chicken sandwiches. The fancy ones?

The fancy ones. The $6 ones? They are big. 23? No. Did you use the app? Oh, you just went to the drive-thru. It was fucking hardcore style.

I was very mad that it was raining so hard between when I locked the front door and walked out the back door. Did you get any fries? I didn't feel safe going to Burger King. No. I'm going to say $40. You just got sandwiches. Yeah, just sandwiches. So, eight sandwiches.

I thought you got six Big Macs and two chickens. Four Big Macs and two chickens. Four Big Macs and two chickens? With tax. $38. $44. $84. It was two chickens. Four Big Macs and two chickens. With tax. 38. 44. 84. It was like 37 something.

It was like 38. Yeah. No fries? I made 45. You don't think that was enough? No fries. Well, it's not about the enough part. It's about the like.

Get some in there. The balance of things. No, again, like, yeah. I just like fries are one of those things that's just like into the hole at the very least they're palate cleansers you can no wonder you can eat so many big macs they all just taste after a while you're just chewing there's no enjoyment no i enjoy it you taste it it's pleasure and you're just chewing there's no enjoyment no i enjoy it you taste it it's pleasure and pain i love it there's no pain i feel fine i had i had taco bell

uh on friday or thursday night megan and i went up to denver we stayed in the dtc and i was like oh shit we're by that in and out but it's like still busy 24 7 so like it was fucked so i couldn't go and i was all mad and then i was uh on i-25 i saw uh you know that there was a five guys coming up i was like all right fuck that i'm gonna do that but then they were like all closed like all six of them there were a bunch of them near me and they were all closed yeah and it was like 8 30 yeah it was like early and so i was like super pissed i see a taco bell i was like all right i. It was early. I was super pissed. I see a Taco Bell. I was like, all right, I'm going to fuck up this Taco Bell. I only spent $13,

but I got five things. You fucked up. You could have gotten two boxes and a potato taco for $13. The box is up to $7 right now. It's fucking inflation. It's really fucking fine, dude.

In the app, you can make your own box. I'm going to start slapping the... Wait, what? In the Taco Bell app, you can make your own box. With whatever? No, there's just options. I'm just going to slap I did that stickers on Taco Bell. Now I get people pissed.

Do it on the sold out of Mexican pizza sites. Oh, dude, yeah. Yeah. It's Biden's father's own Mexican pizza, god damn it. Mexicans taking all our pizzas. Hey, hey, hey, whoa, hey, check. I have like four slices right now. I want to know what you got.

Were they big items? Just potato tacos? They were pretty big. So like they have the Fiesta veggie burrito now. And it's like $2, but it's big. It's thick. And there's like a bunch of shit in it. It's like this.

It's like hikers dick. Either a Hulu or a YouTube. It looked good. It's good. It's got like guac and beans, cheese, a bunch of ingredients. Like they used to have the seven layer, but they don't anymore. This one has all, I think all of that stuff. And then

also like little tortilla crispies. Everything but meat. No meat. Two bucks. And then they also have like a new crispy chicken taco. Those were good. You can do avocado ranch or chipotle sauce on there and i did chipotle nice i got two of those two of the fiesta burritos

and a crunchwrap supreme it was way too much damn i pounded it oh also the woman so i get those five things you only need three things from taco bell no you always have to get at least four or five things you have to feel like shit at the end. You need to get one more than you want. You should. Just in case. It depends, I guess. Just in case.

Going for tacos. You want that. You want to feel bad. Yeah. You want to feel like you just came. That's what I got from this. I wanted to immediately go to bed. I was mad about In-N-Out.

I was pissed because I went all the way down there and it was fucking so packed. Then I left and went and got snacks from the gas station. You had snacks? You had snacks for after dinner. In-N-Out was going to be

just burgers and fries and a shake. I wanted something else for later. When I went back to In- to in and out it was still you know it was like 15 minutes later so it was still just crazy there i am covered in cheeto dust the woman i talk about the i asked for fire sauce the woman gave me 90 packets of sauce it was so stupid you must It must have looked nice. I had five things. It must have looked nice. She thought you were cute.

Yes. It was ridiculous that she would give me... You should see. I brought them home because I didn't want to throw them away. I always feel bad about wasting stuff. So I'm like, oh, I have to use these now for the next two years. Just eat and scramble eggs with fire sauce. Everything.

Oh, shit. That sounds that sounds good spice it up that's how i live my life i swear i swear by it every time i go to taco bell i i can tell how much they were into me by how many hot sauce tacos I get. Same as if I get charged for guacamole at Chipotle. Same fucking thing. Wait, the potatoes are back? Yeah. They've had the spicy potato taco the whole time.

Add potato to a black bean quesarito. That shit's fire. That's like a $5 thing, though. I haven't had a Taco Bell like twice in the last 17 years. I don't think I've ever asked for substitutions on anything. I was so sick all the time when I was in high school

and I know their qualities. It was the heroin. Yeah. Or the cocaine. Now it's like the healthiest fast food on the market. No shit? Yeah. I get the vegetarian stuff yeah it's all showing it with oats instead of soy like they've been written up as like having amazing business

practices around how they fix their image i really do enjoy you going up there just 17 year old years old just being like look i've had heroin and then you feel better yeah where's your survey like i don't have a gas reaction right now i should be sick from burping but your food's so gross i still know i need that's how bad it is yeah you said uh you want to go to burger king what would you have ordered at burger king i was going to burger King to get 10 junior Whoppers. That's why I'm also here. Why don't you just get five regular Whoppers? Because it's not the same veggie to meat to bread ratio.

You're thinking about the Reese's conversation then. The Reese's conversation? Oh, yeah. Like a mini cup versus a regular cup. So everyone has a specific ratio of peanut butter and chocolate. It's how good they like. Everyone likes Reese's. They just don't realize. People say, I don't like Reese's. It's like, no, no, you don't like Reese's cups. and chocolate. Everyone likes Reese's. They just don't realize.

People say, I don't like Reese's. No, you don't like Reese's cups. You might be a Pieces man. You might be a Minis man. I'm a Minis guy. Yeah. Okay. I'm a Sparrow.

I'm a, what are they called? A retard. I'm a big cop retard. And the price changes. They haven't really hit the cheapo menus as hard as they've hit. The Whopper is like $7.49. The Junior Whopper is... You can get three Junior Whoppers.

That's one and a half regular Whoppers. So nine, ten. Yes, exactly. That pro is really coming into play right now. Let's go back to it. Let's go back. Andreas with the Antisemitic award for the podcast yeah so I was gonna

get all those and then it was raining much harder and my windshield wipers act up so I didn't want to risk like being I didn't want to die for burger change what an old man thing to say yeah there you are

ready to get my fucking whoppers junior whoppers and then the fucking rain yeah the fucking rain the rain made my hip act I literally was locking the front door and looked outside like alright it's not raining that hard and then walked through the building after flicking the lights and went out back like what the fuck happened

I walked the length of one building so when you ate your mcdonald's earlier do you like go do you eat the same things first or you alternate back and forth i go bite for bite no i go big mac chicken sandwich big mac chicken sandwich big mac big mac nice everyone has their way i like to alternate if i can when you're talking about bite for bite you're opening book two all of it's insane that's a little weirder isn't a little weirder so eating eight sandwiches alone yes yeah i'm not saying that's cool. Andreas!

What the fuck? Double fisting sandwiches? I don't know. Different flavors, no less? It's not even the double fisting, because if they were like made by me, and they were put together well, I would double fist them and go bite for bite. But when they're like...

A teenager assembled McDonald's sandwich that you got at 10 o'clock at night or in the rain when you're the only customer is like... One of my patties wasn't on the bun. I had to open it up and grab it out of the box and put it on the sandwich.

That's how you know they were mad you pulled up when they weren't busy and ordered four Big Macs that they had to fucking griddle eight burgers real fast. You just made me think of uh you're talking about the gas station that's open is right next to the wendy's dude i went to the wendy's here once and i swear to god both of the employees i interact with wanted to fucking kill me because i ordered food from them i couldn't believe it yeah the dude the dude was

on the intercom and he sounded so pissed and I got like two sandwiches or whatever and he was like you fuck you. Just fuming, I could tell. And then I pull up hoping that it's not him because I don't want to have to fight a fucking 16 year old.

And it was this woman, a young girl, and she was also just shitty. And I was like, what happened in here? People screaming at the Wendy's folks. They broke up. Yeah. It was crazy.

It wasn't slammed. It wasn't like noon. You know, it wasn't lunch rush. Like nobody else was there. There was a long time. They went like 60 days where they had like five employees. Oh, boy. So it might have been during that time when they all

like hated their fucking job they were there too much yeah is that a work-life balance know a lot about fast food or because trinidad's small that you know that it's because trinidad's small that i know that it was in the paper wendy's employees total dicks there's a coke remix machine there's one kid that works there the bookstore and he tells all the hot guys he likes my car so he'll talk to me like oh yeah you came by the other way like yeah thanks for reminding me about all that wendy's like he's like don't order don't order a frosty when on thursdays because that's when Zach's there and he'll fucking put his dick animals all up in it.

He did mention to me after we got comfortable that they think it's funny at the store that I'll order like $30 worth of food and then like give them my free Frosty thing to get a free Frosty. He's like, that's hilarious that you'll get a dollar free Frosty after spending $30 on food.

I'm like, yeah, I buy it. What are you supposed to do? I buy it ahead of time. It's like three bucks for a year's worth of Frosties. That's how you gotta play that. You got chocolate or vanilla? Dog, they got strawberry now. What? Yeah, they just introduced strawberry. And they got that hot honey chicken

sandwich with those chicken chips. Dave is probably rolling in his grave right now. It's so good. What'd you get before? The strawberry one just came out what would you what'd you chocolate chocolate yeah nice yep anyway this has been a hell of an hour and 10 minutes worth of pod uh thank you guys for doing the pod you guys want to plug anything patrick you already mentioned your stupid fucking podcast post about it on reddit more Everybody loves it when you're like, why don't you listen to this other podcast?

It's like Sam and Nathan, but different. Because something happened that... I know. It's fine. That's the most I've ever wanted to click on anything on Reddit. I wanted to see... Was that picture of Kobos you posted during him talking about being...

No, he just looks sad in that so i posted he looks sad and like kind of like why the fuck are you taking my picture right now so i guess yeah if you're not like a dog in a kennel if you're not on reddit there's a kobos patrick podcast where kobos talks about uh sam's graduation party where our friend bonzo in the middle of the night got up and started trying to fuck Cobas' butt. He rammed him. He grabbed him and he rammed him.

Cobas said he was having a he thought he was having a sex dream and then he's like, wait a minute, I'm receiving. And then he walked out. What the fuck did I do? I'm catching. Hell no, dude. Hell no. All right. So listen to that one episode.

The Cobos Patrick podcast. Pysher. Watch me on the Trinidad Triggers live stream. Play for minor league baseball. That's not actually mine. I thought they said no. And now they said yes. Because they're not there all the time.

Becker, you got nothing. You have no one. Yeah. You're standing up. Yeah. Once every couple of months. Not with any regularity. It's cool being in a town with nothing to poke on.

You can catch up on your reading. Yeah. Lose a tooth. You can play with your guys. Yeah. Make a fight. That's not a guy. That's a cigar.

Whoa, it's the end of Dr. Strangelove. Yee-haw! I got Fred Flintstone riding a stogie. Andreas? I got nothing. You got nothing. You're going to... How are you going to have nothing?

Because I do nothing. He does comedy. He got interviewed by Bernie Sanders. Yeah. That was cool. Actually, never mind. Pipe him up. Pipe. Actually, a lot of people on the list of this would probably hate that. Big bad basketball on Instagram.

Nice. Yeah, like I said, I told you guys. That was up front. I was like, I have nothing. And then you guys were like, no, no, you got something. You've got a lot of cool stuff. You have an Instagram. I have an Instagram. I have a telephone number. I have an email. I have an address. I got all sorts of stuff. I have a telephone number. I have an email. Yeah. I have an address. I got all sorts of things.

I have a social security number. I thought they were cool stuff. I forgot about the Bernie thing. Yeah, because it was just, who cares? Bernie used you. People that thought you were interesting. Bernie retweets people all the time. But he quoted you.

He quoted me. He did. And you talked to him. I did talk to him. That was weird. What was the quote? Was it something serious or something? No, it ruled. I said something pretty tight.

It was very pro-labor. Fuck yeah. Yeah. If you guys don't like people getting paid a livable wage, don't listen to what I said. No, Patrick made it sound like we have a bunch of people who are anti-union.

You always say that. No. We have all these stocks. Yeah, you do. We love our Nazi fans.