Chubby Behemoth - Cush Jumbo

Episode Date: December 16, 2024

SPONSOR: Chubbies - Your Holiday wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off @chubbies with the code CHUBBY20 at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/CHUBBY20   BONUS EPISODES: https://www.Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth   This week the fellas have a movie idea. Nathan was surprised by his own asscrack, defends Pornhub to a Texan audience member, and isn’t sure if he should become a shroom guy. Sam wants Nathan to get a BBL, made a young man go full Ren, and has been going to an auction house. The boys discover a new fun name. If this movie pops off we’re all getting BBLs. The boys had a good nap together. Nathan tells us about the time he “ruined” a celebratory shirt.   Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   Mutiny Coffee: [e-mail]

Alright, me and Lunn just paused our emergency escape hatch designs. We figured out how him and I are getting out of the ghetto. We uh, we wrote a movie. No, we didn't. Oh, okay. Well, we pretty much wrote an entire movie. No. I think so.

We barely talked about the idea for a movie. You gave me- But that's not nothing. That's not nothing. It's good. We walked across the sky bridge the sun was hitting us very inspiring moment but yeah Lund gave me the first like idea of a movie and then about a hundred steps later we had it fully fleshed out and now Miramax is coming on board no yeah I told you not Harvey the other guy I got bad news for you the other guy. I got bad news for you. The other guy's bad, too. I

Can't think of his name Jed I think it was Jed Yeah, Harvey and Jed. Yeah the Weinstein Jed Weinstein And he's into guys like you though So we can really parlay this perfect. Yeah guys with their butt crack always out in my mouth where his money is guys with their butt crack always out in my mouth where his money is. Len was blown away that his butt was out. Yeah, I was barely bent over the sink after after watching movie. What's it called? The day of the fight.

The fight saw 20 minutes ago. We have more pressing things to worry about. Len went to the bathroom. He was washing his hands. I don't think the water was running, he was just trying to impress some people in there. That's your move to pretend to wash your hands, either I do or I don't. Yeah like if there is a heaven and I had to stand before St. Peter in judgment he's gonna be like you really wasted a lot of water down

there. It's probably my biggest sin. No no, I kind of like having the mystery. Who's over there? It's me. Confessional. It's me Sam T. Guess what I knew my butt crack was out. Did you? I kind of like having the mystery Guess what I knew my butt crack was out. Did you know I had no idea. Oh my god. It was flagrant I had no clue you were Andrew Schultz and those were your flagrant to I was like hey nice butt crack and then we're walking out and you're like was it really out? Yeah It's always out. I actually turned around in the bathroom mirrors like I have two faces My own butt crack I could see if you were lying or not. Yeah, like would you want us? It's like when you get a haircut I held up a mirror

That'd be a fun prank yeah, if you could give somebody a haircut and then have somehow have a butt in the hand mirror. Right, so they look in the back of their heads a butt or they just see it in their faces a butt. It's a butt. Yes. The back of their head looks like two butt cheeks. There's this guy named Jared who does AI and he just hit me up to see if I wanted to talk to him about it because he thinks that'd be fascinating and I think that he might be able

to make a mirror that programs your own butt into your face. Finally AI coming in handy. Yeah, doing what I needed to instead of fearing it. Now it's going to fear me. It's funny to see people discover it because if you don't know how to put the right terms in it just comes out very one note like the base base level of what it can do and it's funny to see like bars or comics using it because like you can make for like flyers and stuff yeah or just like oh look this. I went to Fiji and it's AI.

Hippie man's having fun with it. Is he? And I don't expect him to dial it in and make it look like really cool. Well yeah, I mean he marched against Nixon. He's 100 years old. He got his first computer in 2014. Yeah, and it was because the library was having a sale. He's catching up. A booker paid him in an old laptop. He got a day. He was like, what is this? Yeah, everyone hippie man right around 2018 was doing all those dudes. I'm getting Adele jokes And he didn't understand why people were laughing Because he wasn't doing it ironically but yeah, uh

Yeah, it's just funny to see I don't know. I just say that all this cuz Megan has kind of like been using not maybe mid-journey and You can really dial it in and do certain Styles or you can just you know with if you use a bunch of keywords then it can really You know pop more so you like know you have to know how to communicate with it. Yeah, huh? So we're meeting it in the middle. It's not coming to us. Talk to that guy. He'll fill you in. I haven't been experimenting with AI because I like to keep it pure. But yeah, I feel like I could have a lot of fun on there. It's just another way that I could be fucking burning the precious

hours of my life on AI. Blowing it. That's where we have to write this movie. The movie should be AI I mean we could probably put what I wrote down into AI and it would give us the bare bones and then you could just Like sit down with a big pot of coffee and one of those Giant bags of weed you're always flaunting and you could probably write it in 48 hours care wax. Oh, dude. Yeah, so In the last like I was like 10 days ago Megan mutiny held some type of like event where there were a couple of speakers who are all about what's mushrooms?

Mycopic? Mycopia? Mycology. Mycology, yeah. So there was like some type of like- That's also what I practice when I'm doing standup. Mycology. You're a doctor of mics. Some type of that's also what I practice when I'm doing stand-up Mike ology

Doctor of Mike's because I'm up there Hypothesizing and philosophize it hypnotizing Special my college I'm wearing a suit, but I don't have any collar on it. It's buttoned all the way up. Mycology. I have a fade. Toadstool hat. You're in the woods. I keep the Toad thing going. Toad guy. Yeah. Bonzo's like, he is the Toad guy. Yeah, yeah, Bonzo's like, he is the toad guy. He's the toad guy. But yeah, so yeah, whatever else went on with this event, I must have been with you and

I come home to a dining room table full of like six bags of shrooms. I was like, what? Whoa. She goes, yeah, we had an event. They gave us these shrooms. So now we have hella drugs. Are you going to be shroom people? I don't know I definitely have I've never blasted off and now that we have like so many I feel like I want to try to experiment with

The right amount like the sweet spot, but I also want to go further than that at least once I think you should eat seven grams. I Think if you're gonna do it, you should fucking do it and just become the truffle pig. You're the truffle pig. I'm the toad. We find our things. Those are our brands. I don't think I've ever had. I've read that like an eighth is you blast off and I would see it's a lot. I've never had an eighth. I've probably had half of an eighth. We just always used to eat eighths because that was the unit of measure, and if you bought drugs, you did them all. So we would all get eights and then just be like, you know, we're like fucking sixteen years

old. We'd get an ounce and split it between like six of us. So it was more than an eighth. God, I remember like clay used to go back to the trunk to get the secret stash and then he started going back to the trunk like earlier and earlier into the night. He was just always at the trunk old clay D. Mmm. Yeah, he was figuring it out Yeah, doing the work. He did the work. He did the emotional labor to put himself in the driver's seat to his rocket ship of the mind See, this is why we need to be writing it right now, dude. I've got the movie Rocketship of the mind. I kind of liked what I was working with and then you came in and you said what if what if your guys all over what if some guys

went to Humboldt and then it got crazy what if it was kooky and oaky and all together spooky and I was like okay well here's some beats maybe we should work out the parts of each beat and you were like, uh, I got a beat for you. And then you started slapping your crack. You know, your butt cracks always evident, right? No, it's not. It literally is bro. And I'm not saying it to be mean. I just feel like you should know this because everyone knows that your butts out.

Emily's always like, Oh, there it is. Whenever she walks by, she just points down at your butt crack. Yeah. Cause he's always walking by while I'm tying my shoes It's not fair. Yeah, right, dude. We got you that device. You don't need to tie your shoes anymore. You just slip them on Oh, yeah last night In the green room when you started talking about the blowjob machine and the CPAP. Yeah Chris is like

Hey, man, uh You ever had What did he say? He said that, Oh, culture scene. He's like, you ever taken culture scene? And I think he's alluding to you talking about my like sleep apnea. And I was like, Oh no, man, this is all made up. None of this is me. I mean, I snore, but I'm not doing anything about it. Our buddy, Pat is the real culprit and he doesn't, he doesn't, he never even got a CPAP and he was like, Oh, I'm talking about gout.

And I was like, Oh, I like don't care for the most part that you're doing that whole thing with me as the guy. But it was funny for him to like, I thought he wanted to like talk about sleep apnea and snoring. Yeah. And see perhaps and or blow job machines. And I wanted I was just like no that's not you're like hey nice nice guess that buddy want you clear it out. I'm a butt crack guy not the C. Pat blow job guy. Nothing's real.

Clay Cooley. Affleck. Clay Cooley. Is that Ben Affleck? It's just Ben Affleck. Clay Cooley. Whoa. Wait, uh, oh, the big name from the previews. It's my Instagram, like little note. I immediately put it in was from that live, uh, or the movie version of, uh, Macbeth. Yeah. Of the stage play Macbeth. What was it? Kush Jumbo. Oh yeah. Kush Jumbo was the lady's name. Kush Jumbo and introducing Kush Jumbo. Yeah. There's an African Irish American, not American. There's just a black lady from Ireland whose name is Kush Jumbo and she's in a, she's in a Macbeth with David Tennant. Yeah. Tenant. Cool. All right. but Kush Jumbo she's the star. How do you keep your how do you take your eyes off Kush Jumbo? Yeah, they're not gonna call her Lady Macbeth either. He's gonna be like

and my wife oh the blood of my wife is red. Your wife say her name, say her name, Macbeth. Kush Jumbo. We're in the back. Woo. I want some jumbo Kush over here. Oh, yeah. We ruined the play. They're filming it. They have like three hundred thousand dollars invested in this one performance.

And then we're in the back just. What about this? I need every shirt to be this long. I need big boy shirts and then the butt crack is killed one hundred percent dude. I need big. You haven't been. You haven't been in two X in years but yet of course that would solve all your problems. My butt cracks out every now and then no one can tell. is what I need I need to do squats. Yeah, I mean sure create a butt. Yeah, so that my pants stay up that would be sick What about this? What if you got a Brazilian butt lift you and I tried to hold on I think we figured out the real answer. Maybe when when if we get to theaters

If this movie pops off, we're all getting baby else. I want a Ukrainian but lift it is it's like it's almost like you don't have a but but you can't stay up. I want to I want a Turkish but let they just put a bunch of hair on your ass. You can't see the crack. It's kind of a it's a different problem, but it's slightly better than crack. It's a step up from crack.

Yeah, no, I do not like that my crack is out all the time. I don't like that. Well, it's because you wear those hilarious little shirts that like hit you. It's like you're trying to show off a tramp stamp all the time. Oh, this? Oh, hell yeah, fellas. Crazy story. You remember the song Crazy Game of Poker by OAR? Do you remember the Vinnie Paul vehicle Hell Yeah? Oh yeah that was a fun

surprise in the green room. Yeah they got a gold record. A band called Hell Yeah. Certified gold record for Vinnie Paul. You said he owns the Hyenas. Yeah dude when they paid me at Hyenas Fort Worth last time they took me upstairs because all of his guitars and gold records are up there. Okay yeah I forgot about that. So he has like I think he has minority ownership of all the Hyenas and that's why Mudflap and him were homies because Mudflap was always flapping over at Hinytown. I said Hinytown. This one's good too. Fort Worth, Hyenas is like real fun.

Last night both shows were quite fun. Yeah. Quite good. Quite drunk. The opposite of Friday and Springfield, which was a fucking nightmare. Oh, people were covered in coal dust and talc when they got there. The show started at six o'clock. It was terrible.

Yeah, no, that was truly insane. Last night, much more sane, eight o'clock for the early show. Yep, ten o'clock for the late show. They'll have you sell your merch outside when it's raining. But, you know, the same T fans, they're stout people. They're always dressed in layers. They're wearing beanies, even though it's Texas and it's still hot outside. Yeah, they wear their one hoodie for like probably a month at a time They think that it's okay to wash it once a month because they have like three undershirts that they switch up Right in those 30 days and it's like now dude it comes out Yeah, they have three undershirts ones an Ian Fy dance ones a Casey rocket the other ones a David Lucas and they wear them to the shows

Underneath whatever hoodie they're wearing of mine. A lot of babes last night. What the hell was that? Dallas. Dallas. Dallas is huge. Dallas is mega. There's a lot of chicks.

Yeah, there was a lady in a cowboy hat, probably in her 50s, who was fully dumped, and I came on stage, and she just grabbed her tits and started smushing them around. Oh, is that what she... Yeah, I was in the green room so I could hear you. Yeah, I mean, it was like... But I didn't stage and she just grabbed her tits and started smushing them around. Oh is that what she, yeah I was in the green room so I could hear you. Yeah I mean it was like. But I didn't know what she did with with him. You were like whoa jugs. If you're in the green room not seeing it you just hear me up there. I open the door. I have a telescope. You go you have like one of those pirate monocle like telescoping monocle. Yeah.

Ho ho gland ho nice. Yeah. No, she had him. She was dancing around. I had to tell her to knock it off because I was at work. Yeah, that was good. Yeah, but now she was smushing them her. She was there with the fucking yellow bastard. Yeah, that was a date. That was a client. You want to date? Fuck. I couldn't remember it last night, but I kept, I wanted to call him mega mine, but I was like, that's not it. What is it?

He was straight up yellow bastard. Yeah. Like he had encephalitis. He has a water head. He kind of looked like a, what's that guy's name? Not John Clayton, right? The ESPN guy looks like a total nerd. I think it's John Clayton. Oh, glasses nerd, but but yellow bastard is also apt. I mean his head looked like a damn ring pop bro. I could have been so mean to him. I held back because he was there with his lady of the night. Yeah, he's being good money.

Yeah, he doesn't need to be blasted. He's trying to blast her. There was the Latino lesbian table last night. They were the first date, right? First date. There was a first date and then she brought three of her friends. A man and a woman on a first date. And the woman brings two or three friends. Three friends.

I said, you brought the Olive Bitch planet? Yeah, that was awesome. They were nuts. They were like, chattering like it was before the movie trailers start. That's the only time you can talk. And then comedy show, I'm Up There, there was a guest set. So that means we're like a half hour into the show and there's like

What did she say? Oh fuck porn hub because I'm complaining about how every time I come to Texas I forget that like you can't you can't peel your grape You can't go to like the ten most popular porn sites because they have blocked their access due to Texas like because they have blocked their access due to Texas, like requiring a strict age verification process that Pornhub doesn't think is on them, it should be on. Yeah, you can't pretend you're gonna find something new in the search bar before you go back to your three favorites. My three girlfriends, as they call them.

There's just, there's so many sites. Hold on, you're jerking off in your room, and your wife's like, what are you doing in there? Like I'm cheating on you with my girlfriend. I'm on a date with my mistresses, my triplet mistresses. But yeah, I talk about how that's so annoying and this woman goes, fuck Pornhub. And I was like, why fuck Pornhub? She goes, because you can't, cause Texas blocked it. and I was like why fuck Pornhub? She goes because there you can't cuz Texas blocked it and I was like then

fuck Texas right what are you doing? Yeah it was insanity oh how about this early show? I often ask the crowd you know who has dogs and then I have a joke who has cats I have a joke who's got something weird just just in case you know I can riff on it. Someone's got a pelican. No no it's I wish that would be great. Yeah like oh you keep your your you know it's like a purse. A purse that talks. It's a living. You keys in your bird's mouth. You get in there. Yeah. It takes your kid to school. Yeah. You wash your baby in a pelican beak. Yeah, right. So many uses. A mobile sink. No, it's, I wish it would be, I'm always hoping it's something random and fun to talk about, but it's almost always a lizard. Oh, bearded dragon. Okay. Yeah. No, everybody has

those last night was crazy. It was the craziest time because I ask if anybody has any weird like exotic kind of pets first guy goes fish Like okay. No, I'm should know that's a that's your like your first pet is like a fish That's everybody has a fish or had one. Yeah, and then somebody goes a woman goes Plants and I was like, no Out of here. Yeah lady. You're scaring us And then rule of threes This woman who's already been annoying during the blonde woman right blonde woman or show had them drunk loud like under a light a spotlight somehow you know just so that she literally can feel like she's also on stage is is like loud and and talking

too much during the host Devin's that very funny Devin Clark and he talks like this great voice, amazing voice, hell of a voice. Hey, uh, glad he's gonna be back tonight, but yeah, he got annoyed with this woman, you know, and then she pipes in after fish and plants with a topper. She goes, I had a cockroach as a pet for three days. Yeah. Did I die on the flight here? Like truly maddening, like Aronofsky ask, like the room starts spinning. Yeah. Everything giant monster rips the roof of the club off and it's like picks me up and pops me in his mouth. Your lower back has a strange cryptic tattoo. My butt crack. Yeah.

Can talk. Wait, wait, wait, wait. This is an Aronofsky film. So the twist was the butt can talk. Who greenlit this? It's like malignant. Oh, you're much malignant for sure. My butt crack has a mind of its own. Yeah, it was, I could, and she was like being sincere, I think. Like obviously she was drunk, but I don't think

she wasn't like kidding. She had a cockroach when she was younger for three days. She had a bond with this cockroach. Yeah. Meanwhile it's like, just clean your apartment. Yeah, you said you didn't have a pet you just never cleaned your apartment sweep. Yeah, it was very funny. Mm-hmm Yeah, it was a wild start. She eventually left during my set But then maybe returned I don't know she was like mouthing off and I said something about like yeah, I get it You know, I wish I was a hot woman once. I'd like to be a hot woman once a month so that I could ruin everything and no one would tell me to shut up.

You should have threatened to smack her like I did in Springfield. Everybody loved it. You went nuclear. That was so funny. It was wild. That was like the biggest response I got. All these jokes that I think are great,

just almost nothing and then no that was Saturday so that those those were those were fun crowds but yeah that woman what she said something very like oh I told her something like you gotta shut up and she said like sex like flirty like you gonna make me and then I was like oh she's trying to be cute it'd be funny if I went and just smacked her hard and everybody's like yeah come on anyway I think we covered that yep you're taking a victory lap though remember though remember the Titans remember last night one of the lesbians was like I said oh the guy said the thing about you guys like being alive and they were like no and I was

like the Cowboys aren't gonna be bad forever and then the the just the classic prototypical Was like I said the other guy said the thing about you guys like being alive and they were like no and I was like The Cowboys aren't gonna be bad forever and then the just the classic prototypical Latino Latino lesbian is Like right up front on the right front. Yeah, they've been talking the whole fucking show Yeah, so it's like I'm I'm at my wits end. So she's like well, yeah Dak, you know, we pulled his hamstring It's gonna be okay. And And I was like, huh. And then the crowd starts laughing. And I was like, what? I'm not trying to be rude.

I mean, she does look like an expert in football. It's fun. Yeah. Yeah, luckily, they like left. Yeah, they left their own accord. A lot of self-aware, loud drunks after a while. They're like, you know what? I gotta get out of here. I can't believe I've been doing this the whole time and no one stopped me. No one's done anything. Well, yeah, I got to police my own ass, I guess.

I gotta be the bad guy. You know, it's gotta be done. You know, I figured literally anyone would intervene. They did warn me during the announcements that I'd only get one warning before they'd boot me out, but no one seems to give a shit at all. But young Julio was so gorked off of your pen. He forgot he was at work. He thought he was at a fucking Texas Rangers game. Oh man,io and Sam up front working at the club. Yeah Sam was like I got some weed for you man. I was like oh it's okay dude I have my weed pen and he's like oh really? So he hits it and then Julio comes a thumping over he's like oh can I hit a dude? I was like yeah so Julio rips it and as he's hitting it their boss Nicholas walks

in the room so Julio's eyes get all big and as soon as the boss passes he blows out this huge fucking blinker cloud and then runs into the bathroom bailed and went to the bathroom well he might have puked because I would have explained how red his and wet his eyes were he looked like Ren when Ren would there'd be like a close-up of Ren and he's just like vibrating with anger. He's like exploding. He had Ren's face and Stimpy's body. He was full Ren, dude. Yeah, man. He was gone. The rest of the night. I think, I think a lot of the time I, if I ever saw him, he was like looking at the wall. He was just a Roomba stuck in the corner. It was hilarious.

Yeah. Sam asked to hit it again later on that night and I offered it to Julio and he just gave me the wave. He policed his own ass. Everybody in Dallas blows it and then immediately tries to help. help everyone's policing their own ass tries to unblow it Lineman fucking got to run the ball, but then he got it I was full rent on Wednesday, dude after my show at the independent there in Detroit By the way, we're doing another one this Wednesday Detroit listeners. Everybody should go they're gonna love it. Oh my god

It's so much fun. You said almost everybody, or more than half of the room, has been to every show. Yeah. That's great. And also, they're only supposed to sell 65 tickets. But last week, they sold like 87. So it was just a throbbing gristle in there.

But, uh, oh, sorry. Fucking, so I put on the headliner, Alex, and then I go in the green room and I hit my pen really hard. Then I have to go get him off stage and bring the show down. I go up there and I was like, man, you know, I really make fun of you guys. Everyone here, I know I ride you pretty hard, but I fucking love you guys. I look forward to this fucking show all week, man. You know how cool that is to feel like you're part of a community and this is after me going up and doing like 50 minutes interstitially of just being like gross squad. That's you.

A lot of that kind of stuff. Yeah. And I'm just like man you guys are the fucking best. Merry Christmas everyone. Yeah you know every, every, and the Jewish equivalent, whatever. The Jewish one too. Yeah, yeah, you know, Walla Habibi baby to everybody and good night until next week. And then I get off and I hear one of the guys go, what the fuck happened, man? To you or to his buddy? I was rend man I was stimped in day boner juice God oh there's an auction house in Detroit and continue I've been down

there twice now what's down there and do they're auctioning off all these like widowers like belongings yeah like, like antiques. They have various cabinets They have a bunch of cool art. They have a bunch of just like, you know stuff around the house They had this little turtle lamp There's like a touch top turtle lamp made out of terracotta in the 50s And I was like whoa, I mean this is the kind of thing that we put in Susie's room and then even when she's older she's gonna have these glimpses of like Remember that turtle lamp in my aunt and uncle's house that was cool

he's my best friend yeah and Emily was like she'd break it okay she chew on it yeah she'd try and ride it around the house she'd fart on it it would explode Susanna called me fat guy the other day. Oh yeah, I hit you with a fat guy. We were tumbling around in the living room because she's taking gymnastics. She's doing all these flips and I was doing like backwards somersaults. And I was like, I like biffed it pretty hard and like hit my head and just laying on the mat, like right there on the blanket. And then Susanna was like, go, it's my turn.

And she tried to shove me and she was like, go fat guy. She said it like that I'm sure that someone she heard she must have heard someone say probably Beetlejuice say fat guy cuz she said it like that mm-hmm she also knows what discos are she kept inviting me to disco parties what we had to get dressed up for a disco party and then we like walked into the room and she's like this is a great disco and I like started to dance and she's like it's not a dancing party it's a disco. She doesn't know shit. She doesn't know anything. Thinks she knows. It's fucking four and a half doesn't know shit about fuck. I hope you didn't show her Saturday Night Fever

there's a rape scene. No no I showed her cruising though. I don't know what that is. You don't know cruising? I don't think so. Oh it's like I think it's Robert De Niro Al Pacino and they're like in the gay like cruising scene in the 80s Huh in New York. I don't even think I've heard of it. Yeah, it's great movie weird real pulpy film It's like gay bad guys. I think there's a murderer. I can't remember. It's like Warriors for guys like you It's probably gayer than cruising honestly It's probably gayer than cruising honestly. You know what's not gay at all is me and you taking naps together in this room. Spending our lives together. Yeah yesterday that was a good nap. You had a king bed upstairs.

You instead slept down here. You demanded it. I did not. Yes you did. You had a king bed upstairs. You instead slept down here. You demanded it. I did not. Yes, you did. You said come up. We'll take naps. You literally said that. No, I pressed the room. I pressed the room number for my floor and you were like, Oh, come on up. Come on. I can't sleep. If I know you're elsewhere, what if you're in trouble? Yeah, come on, get up there. What if you're being trafficked? No, I think you needed to be in here with me so that you could have a nice nap.

I did. It was like a two hour nap. Yeah, real late in the day too. The worst kind of nap. I keep thinking, well. Waking up, you go to bed when the sun's up, you go to bed, you wake up, the go to bed you wake up the sun's down Yeah, sometimes that fucks me up. It didn't yesterday

Yesterday I was I felt good even though I keep thinking about what Emily said which is that naps or when you sleep? It should be either be for less than 45 minutes or For like more than three hours. Whoa, she said that she did Something about how if you if you prevent yourself from going into REM sleep then you can get a little bit of a benefit of a nap more so than entering it briefly and then waking up. Huh? That's like more disorienting or something. Yeah. Well, we really hit the sweet spot of an hour and 45 minutes. Yeah But I yeah, I didn't feel groggy or weird. Yeah, you were fine. I was fucked. Did you feel crazy? I felt a bit crazy But then last night I couldn't go to bed. I had that thing where you're like Alright, I'm going to bed and then you like feel like the switch is like going down in your brain

And then all of a sudden every light turns on in your head and you're like, no you're not And you're just laying there being like how do I ever fall asleep before? Maybe I'll never fall asleep again. I don't think I'm ever gonna go to bed again hmm yeah I had to I had to use some websites that weren't pornhub that didn't work WNBA.com oh yeah I said last night that what's Caitlin Cook thinking people down here teens down here can't jack it because they don't have access to porn. And they don't have like memories that they can use. Oh, yeah.

So they just have to watch the WNBA. You end up having a thing for long arms. Watch the WA just squinting. I think I see a sports bra there. Hey, idiots, go to YouTube and just look at women's volleyball highlights. Those are on there. There's also just like old pornos on YouTube all the time.

No there's not. Yeah there are, they're called white coats. Like back before like porno was legal in America, they would make doctor movies. It was like instructional films for like how couples should make love. and they're just on YouTube nude yeah you nude sucking dicks banging what yeah it's crazy but it's in a white room with like somebody taking notes so it's yeah it's like a guy who just told

the classroom that if the bomb comes you hide under your desk kids he looks like what's that what was fucking Homer's enemy Grimbley Grimes yeah look like Frank Grimes being like and this is the vagina it's a tunnel of pleasure if you know what you're doing and this is the erect male penis huh yeah he flicks it mm-hmm huh yeah he flicks it mm-hmm he's ready boys the penis can go in one of the holes in the human body if the owner of said penis wants to go to heaven that is an argument for intelligent design the penis fits into any hole on the human human anatomy. Not the ears. A man, a plan, a canal. Yeah, well it's about, there's a palindrome about the Panama Canal. Right. Yeah. The man, I believe, maybe Teddy. It was Teddy Roosevelt. He loved Panama. He was a big band. We had fun last night watching that

Yacht Rock documentary. Great movie. Your dad would have been pingoed. Oh he would have loved it so much. He's got to watch that shit. Yeah. What are they done? Donald Fagan was all pissed about his music being called Yacht Rock. Do they like progressive rock? Prog rock? Was that Steely Dan? I don't know. I think of Tool. Prog rock is like Tool, but it's also I think Steely Dan. I think Floyd is prog rock? Yeah.

Or is that Psychedelia? Yeah, but I think they're considered prog rock too because it's... there's a lot of like math involved or whatever I don't know. I really I gotta tell you I don't have much of an affinity for Pink Floyd at all Oh, yeah. Yeah, and it's like I haven't really given it a fair shake Like I like that cigar song that one's good and I like the Sid Barrett stuff But like I just wrote it off as like the Grateful Dead it's like this is what hippies like hmm I can't like this I like AFI yeah yeah when when you took a call or whatever during the

trailers you missed the the fire inside about the young boss from Flint from Flint yes bro I live in Michigan I haven't seen billboards for that movie everywhere Oh, I'm saying you but you were you were not in there and I was watching the trailer. Yeah, and Then it's called the fire inside but like I was stoned. So like 30 seconds later I'm like was this was this called a fire inside because that's hilarious AFI She's listening to fucking God called in sick today while she's doing jump rope Halloween she likes the if I cover of Halloween better than the miss you know, there's a misfits version. Yeah Yeah that cracked me up dude, uh

Was I gonna say fuck Flint AFI What was I gonna say? Fuck, Flint, AFI, God. You took a call. Damn it. Oh, Henry! Oh yeah, oh yes! I forgot that that was the call.

This is why I took such an important call. I was curious why, I was like, man, Emily knew we were going into a movie, but she called like four times so that Sam would have to answer. No, Hammering Hank called me and he called me twice and he never calls me. So I was like, oh good, everyone's dead. If Henry's the one breaking the news that means some of the fucking phone chains work pretty low on the ranks. Somebody left the oven on since Thanksgiving and the house finally went up. Tom tried to light a smoke inside. Yeah, Julie busted Uncle Tommy smoking for the last time But no, yeah, so you were scared yeah, but he was listening to the patreon

By the way, the patreon is really good. You guys should go subscribe to it. Come on Not a bad idea Becker's actually being held in a cage right now We're not letting him out until we hit $7,000 a month. So if you like Becker put your money where your fucking mouth is you psychos We're Becker backers. Are you well, why don't you steal your mom's credit card and make it count? Steal your nurse's credit card. All right, stay your nurse's identity. Yeah bail Becker out of another fucking tight jam Alright, still your nurse's identity. Yeah bail Becker out of another fucking tight jam But yeah, he called me to tell me that he was listening to the episode where I was talking about getting cancelled from the

Morning announcements in high school and I couldn't remember what I said what derogatory term I said about the boys soccer team Turns out that I called them field fairies Yeah, which Henry said was probably the coolest thing you've ever done. Was he in school? No. Henry, it was born... He was 12 years younger than me. He was born on 9-11. So we don't celebrate his birthday.

I think he was born like right after 9-11. Like literally 2001? Yeah. I think, I know his birthday is in September and I think it was 2001. Whoa. Yeah. Maybe not. I know his birthday is in September, and I think it was 2001. Whoa. Yeah. Maybe not. I don't know.

9-11, baby. Yeah, that's a... There's a sash. A little fake cigar. Makes you think, what did my aunt and uncle know? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha little hanky. Little hanky. So yeah, Henry, thank you for that field fairies is what I said into a microphone that was cast into every school room in my high school. You know what? I'm a comedian who takes chances. My big, I didn't think about it when we were talking about high school and that story, but I just remembered my big thing as senior class president was I got my buddy Jacob to play the

national anthem on the guitar for like an assembly senior something yeah and God you would have thought that I wanted to bring in fucking Frank Zappa because they acted teachers you know whoever are all like so worried that you know the shop teacher who served in nom is gonna like freak out you have a flashback if they're yeah or like if there's any flourish of any kind and just goes he goes into the AP calculus class and kills most of the kids time Time to finish the job. He gets activated. Operation Dark Millennium. Operation Wood Chipper. But yeah, it was like such a concern.

Like God, you know, just reiterated over and over to me, to me and Jacob, like basically, if you have any fun with this, you won't be able to go to college. It was so serious. If you have any fun with this, don't come to school tomorrow. The teachers, the first teacher school shooting.

The first teacher school shooting. It would have been 99 or 2000, my senior year and Columbine was April, 1999. Yeah. We don't want the national anthem on the guitar to activate any Columbine-esque tribute. You are forbid from wailing, young man. No shredding, absolutely no. Don't take it for a walk. If you noodle at all with God as my witness. People are going to be yelling, make it funky now.

Don't heed that advice, young man. If there's any back to the future-esque Johnny B. Goodings, yeah, you're not going to be able to walk at graduation. It was so annoying. It was also, I've told this, but sophomore year, we hosted state. All the student councils come for the state oh really invention yeah we didn't do no junior year Rock and State in 98 really yeah oh it was cool more years so we host state it's this big deal Sammy loft why didn't we do that there's a yeah she

listens she's listening right now yeah Yeah. Hello, Sammy What are you wearing? Happy Thanksgiving? It was nice to see you. We'll always have London we We hosted state and there was a shirt, you know that said Rock and State 98 and everybody on student council signed it It was gonna go up I think into an Applebee's or a Chili's, you know that had local high school shit in it and I had the gall I had the fucking just a wild hair at my ass because everybody called me nasty Nate half-baked to come out like two years before of course I'm nasty Nate I go from Nate dog to nasty Nate you know

I don't want to ask me about it I have two I have two cool nicknames that can't be touched and I signed nasty Nate Lund on this shirt. And you would have thought I drew a swastika molesting a little kid because the leader of student council fucking reamed me, brought me in to shame me, says how, how of course this shirt will be destroyed. He said I can't go up at the Chili's or whatever. He puts on a welding mask and just torches it. Shop teacher thinks it's the American flag.

Yeah, goes to attack shop teachers just putting charcoal under his eyes. The guy says you're going we we're going to have to, I'm going to have to get everybody to sign a new shirt, which you will not be signing so that that can be in the hollowed halls of Applebee's. No way. They were pissed about nasty Nate to the point where they had a new shirt be signed. Oh yeah. No, it was, I was made to be, it was like in Game of Thrones I had to strip nude and walk through the halls. Yeah, they rang a bell and they said shame Shop teacher spit in my face. They didn't in case your head and gold they encased your head in queso

You're like, this is a punishment everybody's sack tap me Yeah, as I walked to the hall, crying, head dripping and she's crying. Everybody's spitting on me, smacking me, your friends walking behind you, playing a portable guitar. He's playing the national anthem, but no, by note, no stink. Don't don't don't don't don't. Such a, such a funny, stupid time pre-911 Yeah, back when boys could be boys Hank will never know a pre-911 world We did a student council retreat every year which was cool because mr McGee and mr. Lowe's would go on it with us and we would wander off to go smoke cigarettes so they never tattled

So we would go up to the mountains and we would all go and there was like a boys side of the house and a girls side of the house. And we would sit down and like, you know, make policy and stuff like that. It was very fun. And I remember one time there was this guy named Josh and another girl named Lindsay and they were first cousins.

And Lindsay was the student council president, I think my sophomore year. And Josh was like, I don't know, senior senior class he was just involved in senior class council and we got all these pizzas and Josh did this thing where he would take two slices and then stack them face down on each other and then eat two slices make them kiss make them kiss but then there was always there was never enough pizza for everyone because Josh was just fucking motoring through the pie. Take no prisoner style like I don't give a shit. I'm going to get mine and rain and I remember lindsey at one

point during a meeting was like josh josh. How about one at a time one at a time the pizzas for everyone? We didn't have enough pizza last night one at a time and he says, oh, Lindsey, everyone can see your nipples through your shirt. Yeah, and boy, we were like what of course we could see your nipples through a shirt. You know, we were all wearing jammies. We were all wearing jammies, but I remember like Mr McGee's head being like We were all wearing jammies, but I remember like Mr. McGee's head being like,

tread lightly McGee. Yeah. He just like, he nuked her in front of everyone who was supposed to respect her. We can all see your nipples through your shirt. I remember being like, God, this guy doesn't care who he hurts for that pizza. That's his first cousin. That's his mom's sister's daughter. He nuked her. Yeah. Yeah. Wait. This was the teacher. No, no, no. This was this was a student council president and her first cousin and they were in the same class and he just fucking torched the village and then ate his two pieces of pizza smashed together. Meanwhile, I've washed my hands like eight times that day because I've been

busted with, you know, Marlboro lights on my breath. Yeah, you have oranges. Oh dude, I didn't have the orange scam yet. You know what I do have is a great company who's here to tell us a little bit about themselves. Make an awesome first impression with chubbies chubbies. Yeah, we know about chubby. Awesome. I'm wearing chubbies right now bro. You love look at that. You know about Chubbies. Awesome. I'm wearing Chubbies right now, bro. You love them. Look at that. You paid for those. Look at that. I did. I bought these at the Chubby store and they didn't know that we had a code and it didn't work. But we do have a code. We do. Look at this. This good for the algorithm? Hey now. Hey now. Beach

ball style. Put some more air in that mattress, huh? Their flannel over shirt looks like flannel, but feels like fleece. Yeah, that's all Becker has in his cage. So it'll take you from picking out a Christmas tree to watching Hallmark movies on the couch. Or going to Frankenmuth with your little niece, which I've been pressured into. What's that? Frankenmuth is like the Christmas capital of Michigan. There's this place up there that's like the biggest Christmas store in America and they have like three different

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It's a nice thick flannel, but it also breathes and it feels really soft against your gross rash skin. Yeah. It covers the rashes. So only you know. Not the crack though. Only you know. It's not at all. Yeah.

So my crack will probably be able to fight up, fight its way out from underneath. But I thought you, they made you your own signature model of shirt, right? Where it splits like you're wearing a tail coat so everyone can see your crack. See, this is what I woke up to. What if somebody's next door? Somebody's up there doing work. Oh, good. They're hanging a painting and it's taken all day. But yeah, no, you got to get your hands on the on the flannel over shirt. Whether you're buying for yourself or giving a gift, Chubbies has what you need this winter. Check out their website for

their best deals of the year. Our friends at Chubbies are giving you need this winter check out their website for their best deals of the year our friends at Chubbies are giving listeners 20% off 20. Yes, right. That's huge. It's 1 5th with code Chubby 20 at checkout at Chubby's shorts calm That's 20% off your order with code Chubby 20 support the show and tell them we sent you this holiday season gift yourself and your loved ones Chubby's I Love them great company. Do you see what the name of the Navy offensive coordinator is? you this holiday season gift yourself and your loved ones Chubbies. I love them great company. Do you see what the name of the Navy offensive coordinator is? No, I was chronic. No, it wasn't shut up. No, it was drew chronic though. Drew cron. What if his name was Dan K chronic? Were you around when Brent Gill went by Dan K? Yes, it was very confusing.

Yeah, Brent the great on the radio. He was Dan Kay? Yes, it was very confusing. He was Brent the Great. And on the radio he was Dan Kay. I literally asked him, why is your name Dan Kay? He goes, dank. I did the exact same thing. I also asked him one time why he was Dan Kay. When I first went to Brent Gill's house to buy weed,

after my second open mic ever, in 2005, I walked into his apartment in Boulder and he has had a birth of the nation poster on his wall. What I was like so birth of a nation, huh, and he's like I know I know, but I'm a film major and it's like the first movie. yes I have it but it's

not for that reason and I was like you should you should consider taking it down is what I said you should really consider taking that down I had a pod poster that said youth of a nation that was somehow more embarrassing yeah you got even less pussy than okay a Brent was harder to- A.K.A Brent the Great. It was harder to explain. Yeah. I had, ugh. What?

In freshman year of college, I had a very, Spencer's Gifts, just one of the, just all the different shots. And it says something at the top, like what I really learned in school. I haven't even gone to school yet. I haven't gone to college yet, but I have a poster where there's like 40 shots on there and it says like the mind eraser is psychology or what just the oh my god. It's a wonder I got laid at all. It's crazy. You had so much sex early and you had a reverse bell curve. I, it was like that and system of a down, I think. Yeah.

Ollie Joe Prater's opener in his special that's online is him chugging a beer and then saying, that's everything I learned in college. Oh shit. That's his opener, yeah. Which went on to become your poster. You're doing a deep dive on Ollie Joe. I watch his special every now and then, just because it's like so bad. It's one of the only things I can appreciate ironically.

And then they have his friends popping out because I think it was made like posthumously, where they'd be like, Ollie was a wild man. There's a lot of women like wearing housecoats and sunglasses being like, I was in love with Ollie. He really knew how to treat a lady and he was fun. Oh God, he was fun. Letting another stick. Oh man, I almost forgot. I told you about my counter to

your saddest guy, Lyft driver, scratch ticket, hopeful. Yeah, the guy who said, I asked him what's your favorite hobby and he said oh scuba diving. I was like oh that's great and he's like yeah when I was 14 I went scuba diving I think about it every fucking day. It's 31 years ago that's his big hobby. It's his current hobby. Yeah. It's his answer to do you have any hobbies. Yeah. As you're trying to find like a glimmer of hope for him. Mm-hmm. Oh yeah scuba diving. Oh yeah How often do you do it? I did it once. Once, 14 years old. When I was a kid. Lake Superior, went down, saw some

carp and if I don't shut my eyes and think about scuba diving, I say I did not have a good day. Today was not a day worth living. Anyway, so you... If you could scratch scratchers while underwater, I'd be in heaven. Yeah, I mean in Davy Johns locker right now. I can't figure it out You always drop the quarter I'm always rubbing them against coral and people get mad at me good scratching them on the coral I won't be if I can't do this alive. I won't be if I can't do this. I will leave. It's more alive than I am. I'll tell you what. Yeah. I'm so I'm bartending in Trinidad and a woman comes in. It's like 10 20. We close at 11. She comes in by herself. She's done up kind of nice. She's probably in her

thirties. She's kind of pretty. Had them you said? Definitely had them. So yeah, she has a jacket on at first. And then one of those things where she has the jacket on. So I'm like, hi, what can I get you? She wants a mind eraser. I had a poster in my room when I was 15. I minored in mind erasers in college. It's my favorite roller coaster.

She asks if I can put on System of a down. I'm like, I love you. Like what's on your what's on your hand is like nothing. No, it's the Chicago flag from there. She fucking like while I'm doing something else, making her drink or something, she unzips her jacket. So the next time I see her, I'm just like, Whoa, all right. Friends and she her drink or something she unzips her jacket so the next time I see her I'm just like whoa all right. Hey! I didn't know you had friends. And she is... Do you have ID for you too? I'm talking about the twins. She is using voice to text so I can public yeah right in front of me like she's sitting like right where I need to do stuff behind the bar right where you can't keep from staring at. Well yeah no I'm trying to play it cool. Yeah. She is doing voice to text, so I keep thinking she's on the phone. She's not. She's just dictating to her fucking assistant the

saddest shit. Like I try not to hear people's conversations when they're not talking to me. And it's a weird thing, you know, where you kind of want to hear them ask for another drink or get your attention. Sure. But you don't want them to assume that you're like hanging on their every word. Cause then they check in with you. And then I'm always like, I, I wasn't really listening.

Sorry. But also I don't want to hear most of this shit. Hey, I don't care. Right. Now it's not my job to hear all this shit. But I do catch some of her texts and they're just so she's like trying to meet up with somebody. But she also says things like I heard her say it's not gonna be a good Christmas this year.

And I'm just like, shit, like what? And I'm curious, but I don't wanna ask. I have another half hour before I can kick everybody out. Yeah. And then I hear her say something like, yeah, I don't think I'm going to see the kids. It's like, why are you, who are you talking to? Why are you doing voice to text? Maybe she was trying to make herself look vulnerable.

So you would sweep in and white knight her. No, this means something. Uh, I don't know what it, what it, what it means, but yeah, no, it means shut up to some taken. Means, uh, would, but that's no, it means shut up to some taken means Wood, but that's not the point here ma'am. Talk to the eight ball Not today, bitch Then I show the ring meet me in the bathroom But yeah, I mean I that when I hear those two things I think man

I wonder what what else I missed out on. Yeah. Like, yeah, if I could afford a gun, I wouldn't have to worry about any of this shit anymore. Hey, my manifesto's in the drawer. Sometimes I wish my ex would just finish the job. It was crazy. I don't know what her deal is. I've never seen her before. I ID'd her, but I don't remember if she had Colorado or if she was from out of state. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what her fucking deal is, but I don't know if she had Colorado or if she was from out of state.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what her fucking deal is, but I don't know if I've seen the last one. Did you do the thing where you walk over and you're like, hey, yeah. Merry Christmas. You can get really like a tumbler full of gin. Hey. Gin with a sprig of holly in it. It tumbler full of gin. Hey.

Gin with a sprig of holly in it. It's from all of us. Chokes on it. What the fuck? This is poisonous I think. I'm allergic to mirth. Garland is allergic. Yeah, it was unfortunate.

It wasn't, I didn't get as much of a look at her whole life like you did with your guy. Oh yeah, we were trapped for 40 minutes. Yeah. Only person he's ever talked to before we were trapped for 40 minutes with our guy getting to this hotel Listening to Charlie Kirk on the radio, so I just keep hearing like the craziest shit Can you be in Hezbollah and Gaza? I guess if you have no allegiances to a flag Why would you to an ideology? It was definitely like oh man Come on like put on any music so that we don't have this like very specific divisive voice as he's like asking us

why we're in town. And then I thought you were gonna lie but did you not lie because we had already kind of talked about comedy enough. We've been talking about stand-up in the back. Yeah. Yeah. We were caught, we were stuck. We couldn't, we couldn't be brothers in town for a wedding or a shoe convention or whatever. I hope these khakis have dung fighting technology, because I am on the edge of something over here. That's why you checked the timer. Yeah, I really, I really got to make it count. We're almost there.

But it gets worse the closer that you know you are to being able to do it. Your butt's like, oh no, it's fine. Yeah, we'll just round up. I need another four and a half minutes. Dude, it's crazy sometimes how it's coming out as you're sitting on the toilet. Right. It's like, hey, not yet. Hey, buddy, why don't you hold on for another four seconds, please.

Laughing is like the worst thing you can do too. Oh yeah. So is getting your keys out to unlock your front door. There's been some times dude when I forget to shut the door I come in. You know I'm like I put the code in and then just like walk in shoes on run upstairs break through a window got the solution for that Emily's like wipe your feet she hears me go outside the next thing she knows I have the hose on don't open that door honey

you want to love me still you keep keep that door closed. Fuck, man. Well, I guess we should let you go. Well, hey, I'm going to let you know, everyone, that I'll be in Milwaukee next weekend with Lund at the Milwaukee Improv. Big room. Get some tickies for that. Hawaii. I'll be in Honolulu January 18th, rolling into Des Moines, Iowa the weekend after that. Pretty much my entire year is figured out. I'm coming over to the UK with Lund. Going to Australia next year in July. UK in May. Join the Patreon. Lund, what do you got? January 10th, I'm doing Lucha Libre and Laughs in Denver. Very excited. There's a new champion, Marlon Bishop. No, why Big Marlon? Marlon Bishop, former NFL player, I believe. He's a new champion Marlon Bishop. No way big Marlon. Marlon Bishop former NFL player I believe he's jacked. He played at Grand Valley State. He's huge. Yeah. He's so impressive. So I'm excited to see what he does on the top of

the mountain. Who's gonna be able to knock him off? Can't believe Cody. He's going up against Warhorse who's practically a superhero. Warhorse. He's a guy right mm-hmm awesome yeah rocks any roles good Heidi howitzer cleared to wrestle again so I think she'll make an appearance got all those candles I lit at the Vatican paid off but yeah I'm excited to be able to do a Luchally brand laughs not with you mm-hmm I'm hoping to do a show January 11th in Denver as well I'll share that as soon as you're going to do the naughty show finalized now. What you just hold me full not looking at me. It's not for you. It's for them. Yeah, I appreciate it. Sam Taylor dot com. Did you meet the guy last night with had the knob? Oh dude, Israel. Did you do the joke? Yeah,

of course. Oh yeah, he loved it. I I didn't hear that I went to shake his hand and he pulled out his knob Put her there and I like still tried to grab it and he pulled his hand away his nub away It's like hey, man, you want to play nub chicken with me motherfucker He had like a narrow like almost a one Terminator 2 Yes, the knife the sword chicken tender, bro, but at the end, instead of it coming to a nice point, it was just a little floppy. Yeah, it was a penis. Penis.

Penis nub. And I was like, whoa. And he stuck around. Oh, hell yeah. He left like four times. And I was like, oh man, I'm just rocked. And then he comes back in. Remember me?

It's a guy. Of course. Yeah, hey man. Please. There's women and children here. Families are trying to enjoy a holiday. Please beat it to imagine if people are coming in for a holiday clean show and they walk into our wood chipper. Yeah, that'd be nuts. Well, they don't say no. Oh, you're saying they assume Christmas parties come in this time of year. That's why at comedy

works. We have to be clean in December. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. His nub and he was like, yeah, you know, it's a multi-purpose, you know I like to put it in the two-minute warning give it the switcheroo Mimes taking his penis out of vagina and shoving his nub and what? Yeah, it's like they'll never see it coming It's like alright, it's real. Oh, yeah. He's a comic. Yeah, he's a comic. He makes people look at that for an hour Yeah, I thought that he's not deadlining. I thought he worked at the Ferris wheel, you know, he had real carny vibe He's a trash picker come to town to trade his wares pink Floyd fan. Yeah Thank you everyone. We're we did it an hour. Yeah, I need to go You have to get a new toilet after this go go to the fifth floor

Why don't you call down and say I need another room and then if they ask why say come up? Take my word