Chubby Behemoth - Fudge Isn’t About Nutrition

Episode Date: March 16, 2025

SPONSORS: FACTOR - Support the show and get 50% off your 1st Factor box, plus free shipping. Use code FACTORPODCAST at https://www.factormeals.com/FACTORPODCAST   HIMS - Support the show and start your free online Hims visit today. Head to https://www.hims.com/chubby   BONUS EPISODES: https://www.Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth   This week the boys are in Cleveland! Sam taught everyone a Jerry Lee Lewis fact, didn’t like Nathan keeping his room number a secret, and didn’t even biff. Nathan wonders about freeing up some space on the body, doesn’t think he wants to be scattered or sprinkled, and learned all about Doc Pomus at the Rock And Roll Hall of Fame.   Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   Mutiny Coffee: [e-mail]

It's kind of the way that it goes we recording fucking away she goes recording So guys if you're watching this I'm gonna be eating chocolate mousse for the entire podcast We were in Hilarious Hilarity's Comedy Club, and they hooked us up and they gave us What looks to be almost a bathtub amount of mousse? Don't be jealous. I got what I want. I also got a mousse. Yeah. Well, that's also mine. It's not Oh, you're gonna do what you want I'm gonna eat that mousse. Oh, I'm sorry. What are you rocky? Yeah Bullwinkle. Thank you. Thank you. Hey, I'm joining me

So yeah, I'll be eating mousse while we're potting That's not insane. Is it better or worse than the lemon cake? Oh, based on that noise, I'm going with better. Better, yes. I don't know if that's even true, though. The lemon cake last time was crispy on the bottom. There was a mylar reaction going on.

It gave you a little crispy crunch. It didn't happen this time Yeah, I figured you would eat the mousse and not talk as much but you're trying to have it all Like Liz lemon dude, how about that Liz lemon? She did at the end she did. She's from not Cleveland. Uh, Pennsylvania. Chicago. In the show.

In the show she's from. Liz Lemon's a fictional character. Pennsylvania. Here's the thing about me, my feet stink everybody. I know it, Lund has been told, Becker is well aware. Yeah, I clocked that you were wearing the same socks as yesterday earlier. And the day before. Wow.

I like to get three out of one. What the fuck? If I go on the road for the weekend, one pair of pants, three socks. Three pairs? Two pairs? One back. One's for pleasuring myself. No. It's a bamboo sock. I bring it with me.

It's completely starched. I'm kidding. I don't do that. I could. You should. You'd be less of a bitch. You'd be less uptight. I've been a nasty little slut all weekend. I've been showing everyone my rump on stage saying, look at this. You'll never have it. I like teasing people. Tease comedy is cool. You'll never have it. And then you're getting off on them not being able to get it. I said something tonight I was like yeah you know I was a kid and you know I used to take drugs when I was a kid and some guy said when was that yesterday and I said it fucking feels like it brother. Fucking blink of an eye. It's all gone. That's what I said. Enjoy it young people. It'll be gone tomorrow. Everyone was, it's all gone. That's what I said. Enjoy it young people, enjoy this.

It'll be gone tomorrow. Everyone was like, it's St. Patrick's Day, we're just trying to have a couple laughs. I'm like, you'll have nothing I don't give you. We're just trying to get blotto. We're trying to get blotto. And well, I was gonna rhyme. My grandpa used to say.

A fun thing. You can say. No you can't. Oh, it's the free one. It's the free one the free one. Yeah, let's be um, let's be real good. That's blind item it Certain slur has fallen out of favor. I mean it's a technical term Hey, what are you scientists is such a race for slow down I Called it Emily dr. Mangala Hey, what are you scientists in such a race for? Slow down. I called it. Emily, Dr. Mangala. Via text and that was fun. You know, they're both doctors. There's a brotherhood of doctors. It's not just the good ones. You got to take the good with the bad.

Mangala was bad. He was a bad doctor. I like when they tried to make women into doctors. The sisterhood of the traveling forceps. That was cool Mangala tried in one of his craziest experiments was tried to try to make a woman into a doctor He wasn't able to do it because it was 1942 or whatever But eventually we were able to figure it out and next thing you know your wife Yeah, actual doctor technically next thing you know my balls are in a goddamn Gucci purse who bought that for you tits looks real good in those high heels I put you in be funny if she listen was the one that she does take your balls off yeah like she's on the clock she's at

she's at the hospital you know you get in a car accident a couple blocks away. So you show up in the ambulance. It's like this man needs a test. This man needs a testicle testicle locks to me. I can't say test test. Electomy test elect to me. Testalicious. And she says, all right. Teste-lectomy. Let me remove these, these huevos. And it's, and she pulls the sheet down.

She's like, I don't know why the sheet was up and it's you. She's like, oh my God, I can't operate on this man. He's my husband. These balls are already mine. I don't like them. You know what? We don't need to remove them, but I'm going to get rid of them anyway. So he can go back on the teacups without having a quote squishing axi. Yeah. Yeah. I would, I, Emmy would love to operate on me. Yeah. No, for sure. My wife,

she was just given carte blanche to do whatever she wanted. Cut open, look around. Oh, she'd get in there. She'd be like, huh, so this is why he's like this. And she'd look into the camera and go, you're probably wondering how I got here. Just covered in my husband's intestines and his adipose tissue. Because I love him, I call it that. You might call it fat, blub.

I'm in my bubby's blub. You guys are gonna stop watching TV. What, it's Black Lotus. Who cares? Magic the Gathering. No spoilers. Oh yeah. I thought that you were gifted some magic the Gathering books, but they're not the card game.

No. They're just literal like lore, mystic lore. Yeah, it's like they make all these like, hey, are you too afraid to actually read the protocols of the articles of Zion because if so here's a magazine that's adjacent to that so there's all these like heavy mystical magazines they did in the 60s and 70s which are pretty much anti-semitic but they don't come out and say it oh yeah and I say I think these are all right well I'm glad you talked

to that kid for 45 minutes. He's a good guy. Who gave them to you. No, no, I just, I don't think that these might be those, but I do know that there's those magazines out there. You know what I'm talking about, Becker. Yes, very much so. It's like you would buy them at a gun show

along with a snuff video. See if Mutiny was interested. Get the fuck out of here. Come on, man, we got enough of these. We don't want Dr. Mangal's zine. We don't want boxes of these we can't get rid of. We don't want we don't want dr. Mangalore's zine. Yeah boxes these we can't get rid of we don't want gerbils musings I Would rather have a gerbils musings

like this Gerbils had a music review podcast like you're trying to start he was a big fan of misfits in action Yeah, he really loved screwdriver and judge Judge you come the judge here come to judge of misfits in action. Yeah, he really loves screwdriver and judge. Judge, here come the judge. Here come the judge, here come the fudge. That's what they say when I walk into Dairy Queen. Why? Because I'm carrying a big box of fudge.

Can you put some soft serve on this? It's my niece's birthday. She's like, it's not. And I'm like, shut the fuck up. Just shut up for once in your short life. Yes, and. Cause they don't have enough to satisfy you. I mean, I don't like their fudge.

It's made with pecans. Fudge isn't about nutrition. Get your nuts out of my fucking fudge. Get them in my purse. It's still America. All right. Put them in my wife's bag. She's the ball collector. My wife just removed my testicles and it wasn't necessary.

I brought my own fudge. Okay? So why don't you look the other way like you've been doing all day with the goddamn caramel machine. I see your mouth. It's glistening. Would it be insane? You don't want to have kids. You are sick of your balls, you know, getting twisted and turned every which way. Getting all the attention. Getting in the way. You're jealous of freaking yow. When you walk into a party, people don't say, hey, it's Nathan.

They say, the balls are back. Oh, good. The balls are here. Here come the sack. New Year's Eve. I have double vision. Are we playing volleyball? Is Dick Clark here? Because Dick Penis isn't. You have no dick. You're sick of your balls so you get them removed. Sick of it all. And then you just get tea. You just get shots of tea. They do the balls work but you can wear tight pants again. And you can be nude on wicker without getting torn. I don't know, has it been done? Is what I'm... I think if you remove them after purity we don't have to worry about the hormones anyway. I don't think your balls produce a ton of testosterone after the initial growing. You can take your own testicles off with a rubber band. You can

just wither yourself. Yeah. Your testicles will slowly die on the vine. That's clean? Come off clean? Well you have to snip them. But yeah, you can kill them off. I'd like if they just fell off. I think they would eventually just fall off. You're just walking through the grocery store wearing basketball shorts. You just hear, thump thump. You're like, oh Creech! We're buying that jet ski baby, I can ride again! Hey, let's get that riding lawnmower, mama. I talked about it a long time ago, but Matt Markman is a comic who used to work.

Markman. He used to work as like a physician, or no, not physician, pharmacist tech, or like a pharmacist, you know, worked in a pharmacy at a spa in Henderson, Nevada, where my parents' house, like right by my parents' place, just this wasn't Wynko or whatever, but he said he saw awful things because people are just animals, you know, and the pharmacy's in a big chain grocery store.

So just everybody's coming in there and blowing it. And he saw a woman, giant woman in a moo moo walk down an Isle at the grocery store and as she shuffled along she just like wiggled her But or like shook her moo moo on one side of it and a turd rolled out. Oh And she's kept moving She had to go yell at markman for fucking up her pills Yeah, those are for my back and my front and my sides. Everything hurts.

I just shit in aisle four. You don't think I need some Percocet? You don't think I've earned it? I don't have to go to pharmacist dickhead school for eight years like you. You know, if someone's dumping in aisle four, I think I need some pills. I've never done that. Famously, obviously, I pissed at a Lumineers concert, but that's about as far as I famously It was covered on the news

You're currently pissing on the ground as we speak. No, this is hot lemonade. I boiled it before I got here. It burnt my mouth. I'm bleeding. Something's wrong. I'm bleeding. My wife cut my nads off. Let me have this. Come on. I'm a white man in America. I've got nothing anymore. Who even cares? Do you honestly care? Oh yeah, are you mad that the Rockies are going to have to stink like shit while trampling my piss?

What else is new? Am I the only one here? I go up on stage, I steal the microphone. I'm like, hey sorry Wes, we'll get back to you in a minute. Thanks for the tickets. Who else is pissed? Like not us we're having the time of our lives it's a night of magic and music. I'm like no who's pissing on the ground? Not a single one of us. I'm like I don't know what to do. There are bathrooms everywhere. We all go to the bathroom. Oh do ya? Is it lonely? Up in heaven looking down on hell? One, two, three, four. I don't know any of the words.

Like, hey, we're gonna have Sam Talon sing our favorite song. You just start scatting. Yeah. Yes one's called by you blow up Yeah, you think that the Luminators did hey, yeah, like was that you guys I Love rockin Like you know any of our songs? I'm like, I love the night sweat. Yeah, I think he listens. Nice. Shout out Wes. Yeah, no, it was so fun. And you ruined it by pissing in front of

really young girls and their dads. Hey man, guess what? Is it rock and roll or not? That was my fucking question today at the Hall of Fame. How about today? I couldn't smoke in there. Is that rock and roll? No smoking? Come on. They didn today? I couldn't smoke in there. Is that rock and roll? No smoking?

Come on. They didn't even have a needle exchange. Yeah. That's a good point. That's more rock and roll to share. That's right, yeah, the Janis Joplin exhibit was great. Dude. Come smell the rug she died on.

That's funny. What about this? I'll forget this. There's so many, there's too much stuff basically. I set it on stage. I meant it. It was very funny. I closed with that. All the fapes. While looking like that.

I was off my, I was off my dockers. You need to do a favor. You need to go look into that camera right there. Oh man. Yeah, crawl up there. What's up everybody? Say the T-Spy. They can't see. I'm going to zoom in fucking 20%. Can you crawl up there on all fours like you're attacking?

So stay centered Whoa, dude come over into the middle. So this is our best friend. This is my boss Lund Holy shit, he looks like a jobber Look you're doing Your flat backing for Jim Brunzel. No, no, oh god. Oh no. They can't see you do the worm. There he is. Yeah, so this is your favorite guy now everyone. When you say you love Lun, this is who you love. So yeah, he did not have this at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, or they would have put him in there, I think. Yeah.

They'd have been like, oh, Fat Lemmy is here. Yeah. Hey, David Cassidy, what's poppin'? We, we joked about me doing this forever. And then I got a haircut from Shannon Norman, our comedian friend, and barber. That's great, yep. And confidant.

And you said. All your hair's on the ground in my room still. That's great. Yep. And confidant. And you said... All your hair is on the ground in my room still. It's right there. Yeah. Catch your breath. I should probably flush it. I said you wrap it up in a sheet and you throw it away and you're like, I could never. The working man. Solidarity. It's like, let's throw away the sheet.

Does that make more sense? Yes. Yeah. Then making someone clean your hair out of a sheet? They're willing to throw these sheets away over like stains people eating chocolate in bed. I get charged for all the time They're always throwing away my sheets you get charged for It's worth it to do whatever you want in bed. Oh, I thought you're saying they're throwing away. They do they come they see they call me charge They say like horse give birth in your bed. How did blood get all over this bed?

And then they oh, that's it.'s that's dry that's somehow more disturbing uh blood in my bed oh yeah before I forget though I look okay the rock and roll hall vain talked about too much stuff I'll bet your pick you probably have a little something that you picked and you bled a little That's for me not for them. You did. I picked you with my best friend. That's right. We picked God picked us. Now you're Stonewall Jacksoning. Maybe. I was thinking Ambrose Burnsuts. I am gonna leave it because I like the jokes that I have. Yeah, yeah. No, Sid Vicious almost certainly, I don't know, I wasn't there, almost certainly kills his girlfriend Nancy. Nancy Wiles, our friend.

No, it's like Nancy's Spongin? Spongin, yeah. Spongin. And then the next day fights somebody's brother, like Patti Smith's brother or somebody's brother, like assaults them. So he's just like wilding out and then dies that night. Mysteriously. And some say the heroin did it.

He gets cremated and somebody sprinkled him onto Nancy's like grave. They stole his remains and sprinkled on the grave. Who's they, the sex pistols? I think it was the dead boys. Nice, they were trying to mangle the two of them to come back to life as one undead rocker. It could have been the pagans as well.

Just seemed crazy, it's like, here you go Nancy, remember the guy that killed you? He's here to say hello. Now you got him as Danford for the rest of your life. Who cares? Sprinkle him. I don't know if I want to be scattered or sprinkled. You are gonna be jimmied. We're gonna make you into jimmies. We're gonna eat you. Some people snort their friends.

What are jimmies? Jimmy sprinkles. Sprinkles. I call them jimmies. You can't call them that anymore. It is a racist term. Sprinkles. Sprinkles. I call them jimmies. You can't call them that anymore. It is a racist term. Oh, jimmies. Yeah.

They're gonna take this from us too? Yes, they called them that because they were all dark brown and it was short for Jim Crow. It was jimmies, yeah. This is one of your boldest lies. I'm looking it up for you. You have to put my foot in your mouth if you're lying.

Okay. Oh God. Yeah, that was dangerous game. We're raising the stakes here on the podcast I'm looking it up for you. You have to put my foot in your mouth if you're lying. Okay. Oh god Yeah, that was dangerous game raising the stakes here on the podcast everyone and Shit guests at Shannon Norman raised a 20 ounce steak to his mouth and ate it tonight on the guest set tab And Sam brought it up to me When he paid me he's like hey Shannon and a steak Tiny rod-shaped bits

Because of their brown color The apparently false etymology of Jimmy's having been named after Jim Crowe's let us some consider that use of the term Jimmy's referred to Yeah, it's false. It says false right there. It's still not supposed to say it says false etymology. It's not a good thing I'm gonna measure your skull and see how you feel that bullshit in there I'm gonna squeeze you like my little you're getting into phrenology, huh? Ben into it stupid Mangala so Becker Becker a new addition to the road posse. Mm-hmm. You're being helpful out there good What do you mean? Well, I'm being fine. I don't know helpful. I didn't say fun. You said helpful. Is it helpful? Yeah, I'm glad I'm being helpful. Yeah, you know, we had fun yesterday. No, you say fun. You said helpful. I said helpful. I'm glad I'm being helpful. You're not fun.

We had fun yesterday. No, you're fun. We had fun today too. Yeah, we got pants. What, you hated today? You signed things. No, today was fun. I was just salt dead for half the day.

Oh my God, I did get wrecked by the dim sum. The dim sum really put me into a portal to sleepy time. We didn't say dimsum. We didn't have dimsum. We had dim most. Yes. Nice. Lemme. Time we didn't say dims. We didn't have dim somewhere dim most yes Let me the joke police are here Man how is there a better club the similarities? I mean what the hell

Many you're as good summer as good, but I think it's kind of there's a big tie when it just because there's only they made me wear it there's only so much when I went down the slide that's a trail that's joke the yeah the top tier where they pretty much do everything right make you feel special and welcome the only difference in quality is like you know crowds but they can't control that except they can and they do the best clubs part of it is they kick out people I mean before they're the worst the late show on st. pats yeah we were putting our fucking face in the beehive dude yeah did you hear a lot of people there were people just like yelling shit at you I mean they were throwing him out left and right yeah yeah they were in Cobra Kai style ignored most of them lecon style yeah I mean it wasn't that bad because they would get on them quick.

I mean Scott was over there with his thumping stick. They kicked two people out. They had a cop there. Yeah. They had a cop on the premises and he came in and like removed three people. And some guy said, you can't arrest us all. The revolution is written in my head. You're the one that says that. You can't arrest us all. He was wearing my shirt. It said on there. He's like, read it. I kept saying Kelsey would say that. Did she hit you with the slur at all? No. She just said, when we shook hands, N word. And that was good enough. Yeah. I definitely because her when I went on stage She came up there and my arm around her

Whisper it to her Guamba time I started to fly away. Yeah, why were we saying that? Uh, we weren't you were Why were we saying that? We weren't, you were. He said it a bunch at the Hall of Fame. I'm Jerry Lewis, baby. I'm the killer. I was so stoked when we walked into the Sun Records room. I wanted to see the killer so bad. Barely a fucking note about the killer.

They had his piano that he smashed the shit out of. They had a couple of pieces of clothing. No one has ever been more rock and roll than Jerry Lewis. They had like eight or nine things. Yes. And they were mostly trivial other than the piano. He shot a gun at Elvis's gate. He probably killed seven people, confirmed two.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Betted his cousin. Now that's not rock and roll. Who, like later it came out though. She was 13. That's rhythm and blues, baby. Yeah, and she's seemingly like the adult in the relationship

because he was mentally not full capacity. Like at 13 she took over the finances. Really? Oh yeah like when they interviewed her for that Mike Judge thing it was like oh fuck this is darker than I thought it was. Because he just wanted to play his guitar. Yeah. It was actually a piano. He thought he was a guitar player. It was like a marriage of convenience. Yeah. The state was like, you gotta do something. It's weird. I know you're just a girl, but hell, we see those hips. You're gonna raise this man-child. Yeah, he was the best. He really, I mean, as far as like embodying what it is to rhythm and blues, it was also funny, they know the story. No they don't.

How are we gonna tell the story tastefully? It's the free one. I know. I know. I'm just reminding you. Not like I'm gonna blast a hard one on the Patreon either. Don't get your hopes up that there's slurs over there. They're saving up their money. Man, I can't wait to hear them slurs. They're gonna say the whole Jerry Lee Lewis story.

Wow. He just, what? He had a killer set. No, he had, it was a coin flip where like he had to go before Little Richard and he was pissed about it so he like went up there, crushes, lights his piano on fire, you know. He was the first guy to ever do the robot. He invented the robot that night. Yep, he asked them for the first time if they were in fact ready to rock. And everyone was like, I think I am hell fire. It was like when I have a real good set

and you get furious, that never has happened. Yeah, and then you walk off the stage and much like Jerry Lee Lewis, you walk up to me as little Richard. I'm wearing my robe, my pompadour's up. Oh, good golly. Oh, Lundoo in his fuckin' Hall of Fame riffs at the end. Nice. You were pissed.

No, I said wop-op-a-loo-bop-a-lop-a-loo. Yeah, but he walks on. That's one tootie-frooty. As he walks off stage, he walks up to Jerry Lewis. Or Jerry Lewis. Walks up to Little Richard. And he went, Oh, nice lady. Yeah.

Follow that spittle kiss. Yeah, exactly. Follow that dew up. That's what he said. No, I mean, I'm just quoting history. And you know what? Those who don't study it are doomed to repeat it into a microphone on the podcast. Yes, it was very good.

I also liked when you read the stuff about early rock and roll, they'd be like, and the Chantelle's big hit, Baby, Will You Be My Lover went number one. And then one of the Chantels went on to become Jerry Big Rod Reeves and his, his single 10 inch pipe of doom. Despite not being able to be played on the radio in 1951 did go platinum. Yeah. Like the early rock and roll was horny. Yeah. It'd be like, Oh, and then there was little mama Zippo and her patented song, lay back and take it till you gag. I mean, they just had like these songs that were so publicly horny. Oh, and then there was walk around Thompson and he said grass on the field. Who cares? Give me that slit. And yes, the war was on and no one was ready.

Johnny come marching home to suck my off. Yeah, that was fun. Yeah, we saw an eighth of the museum because we gave up after the first section. Yeah, we saw the whole, I think we saw almost the whole museum, but we didn't see the Hall of Fame. We didn't see the current inductees. We saw the hall of the only people who were included. We saw a bunch of bands that are not included in the Hall of Fame. It took us a minute. Yeah, I mean we saw they had 88 fingers Louie yeah I keep looking at it

and I just picked at it oh man they're gonna throw these sheets away to bled in my bed no I'm not just burnt burn up god you're like a trade-style pizza got burn out hey if you want to get burn up why don't you come out and see us next week in Colorado Springs at a hookah bar on March 20th. It's going to be good. It's going to be great. It's my brother-in-law's birthday. Come educate yourself about fungus and mescaline.

Mescaline? Mm-hmm. Whoa. Yep. There's a lot of pokers and a lot of fires. And also, they're just educate yourself. These men aren't proprietors of these things They're just on the cutting edge of education. They're scientists. Yes rogue scientists and they're in the bush going crazy

Jansacock's gonna be there Guys gonna go up there and then hit us he's gonna hit me me with the follow that. Hey, gravy train. What's Wadland down? Yeah, he's gonna say some crazy **** Hey, are you stumped up? Cuz I know I'm about to grub the tub. Old mad lives over there. I'm about to adjective this noun. Alright, Owsley. Keep talking. I'm verbing it up. Yeah. Not giving a pejorative. I got a synonym for that ass and it's your face. And then Toledo next weekend. We're playing it, we're doing all the hits man.

Yeah. Hey if you're a Detroit Metro listener, I'm gonna be in Ann Arbor with Nathan Lund. He's gonna be hosting a Q&A for my big release. I need everyone to get behind it yet again. It's only $18 this time by running the light yet again. March 25th available in all bookstores pre-order it now 18 big ones to get the new intro from Doug Stanhope as well as a preview of my next novel brute Are you saying what's it look like it looks like this right here? That's right Shane Gillis said you'd never expect this abomination of a man to write such beautiful prose But Sam Talon has done it Wow

What a book see us at literati the 25th and Ann Arbor the 27th at the Post and see Nathan Lund in Detroit at the Independent the 26th of March. The big man's coming to Motown and guess what? We're gonna need some Motown to fit your ass. Pat will be there too. Yeah. It's gonna be too many people, too many friends. Too many friends.

I'm not sharing a bed. You don't have to, you get to though. One of you sleeping in Susu's bed. That's my bed, I slept in there first. The little one? Oh no. That's where I jacked. Shut up. Shut up. I fucked Eli. You think that's the same? You think that's the same? Holy cow. You think I should respond to that with just, hey, who cares? Oh my God. I'm kidding. Yeah, no shit. He got me. He's strong. I'm kidding. Obviously that's a nasty thing to say. I'm sorry. How about that? You ever heard that from me? 2025 is already off to a busy start. Shut up. Oh, ad-read. Hey, remember when I jerked off in your house in the dark at night, nobody else was in there.

In my niece's bed. It wasn't in your little tiny bed. I was heightening and exploring man that's a yes and for the ages yeah that should be in the hall it is put it over there right next to mustard plug no one come on it's broken yeah it's great joking man fuck my nephew please any young man uh it's one man any young man any any Henny Youngman. Henny Youngman. Henny Little Boy. Take my life to daycare. You just plugged a lot of our dates.

We're busy. 2025. Already off to a busy start. Can't be stopped. I'll be at Powell's on the 29th. You don't have time to worry about your nutrition. You need Factor. Oh my god. I need Factor. Like you need a hole in the head. Your mouth. To enjoy Factor. Yeah my god. I need factor like you need a hole in the head your mouth

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That's code factor podcast at factor meals comm slash factor podcast to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box Are you prepping for the apocalypse that you think a certain race is bringing back to work? How's you ready? Do we have another one? Yeah, let me read it Let Becker read it. No, yeah, you're up. They really hate that. I know we'll riff on it. It'll be great He doesn't know how to read. He doesn't like to read he does Braille He's gonna touch whatever he knows. When your car breaks down, you take it to the mechanic. Oh, so this one's not for you.

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Hey, if you got a broke dick, maybe take it to the garage and see if the fellas do it for you. You know what I mean? Those guys are down there with their rags, jacking up those things, the oil spilling everywhere. Shit, who knows? Making things work. Maybe not soft, maybe you're just gay. You ever think about that?

Maybe just into different stuff. You're not even gay, you're just like trees or the wind. The Statue of Liberty. It turned on by the wind. The E the wind. The Statue of Liberty. Get turned on by the wind. The Eiffel Tower. Statue of Liberty. Oh yeah, man, that big roller coaster they shut down but you still got a key because your uncle worked there? Big banana split.

Oh my God. With a cherry on top. Bob's big boy statue. Oh. Well if the statue doesn't work for you, Hims provides. It's gonna work, it always works. It's the only thing that works.

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That's like the only thing that I'm really into. Is it Bo Bridges? No, he's just like, he's in stuff, but he's not a big Hollywood. Oh mega star It's a Herman Munster What is the only way you can get hard is to go into your childhood bedroom and watch starski and hutch on DVD Which bent Stiller yeah, of course Ben Stiller. Yes. Yes, Lou it the may do that get hard They don't do that. That's that's not what they do. They have a huge range I can do Becker a huge range of doctor trusted ED treatments like chewable hard mints Viagra

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you're going to hims.com, that's their website. If you are coming to terms or living with multiple sclerosis, highms.org is the other one. So make sure you go there. I thought you were gonna plug hers. What? Hims other brand hers. I'm gonna plug her on Tuesday. Nice.

Yes. Hell yeah. Yes, I told her, boob it up. Get it ready now. I said, I'm bringing you some hair. Yeah. I have lunge hair. You refused some help from Shannon. You're like, I'm gonna ride this out.

Well yeah, cause you have to get to the big recreation next week. What? Reenactment. Civil war. Some say it was civil, but they weren't there, man. Some of us never came home from Tupelo. Speaking of Tuesday, you're going home that handsome tomorrow? Oh, yeah, and Megan doesn't know that I did this.

She might see your... Did you put it on Instagram? She might see it. You are going to wear her like a mask. Yeah. You're gonna say, slip and slide, mama. Oh, I doubt it. Come on. She's not gonna be stoked. She's gonna be super stoked. You're bringing home a handsome buzz

song. She's walking into it. You know what you need to do? You need to walk in. Guess what? My dick still doesn't work. Shaving off some of my chin hair isn't gonna unfuck that. Cause you're saying hi to MS. Yeah I've got MS. I have live a BDs not diabetes Good Shannon did that You're doing someone's bits of the pod. I like that. We were just talking about him. He's a good guy great Made you look good. You need to walk in tomorrow look nice Here's what you do on your way down you stop and you buy two volleyball's and a like a broomstick and you spray paint them all black and

two volleyballs and a, like a broomstick, and you spray paint them all black, and then you glue them together, and you walk in, and you're wearing a one-piece singlet, and you push, you just push that barbell over your head, and you go, hello, my lady, I'm hungry. Wouldn't that be fun? Yeah, old-timey. You gotta stick with me, kid.

Oh, isn't it, It's so crazy when people Do the effect of being in black and white in real life. There's like some type of Body paint that you can do that makes you dramatic. Yeah Makes you look like you're black and white. It's fucking crazy using Vanta black. It's neat. Mm-hmm It is very cool Women are doing cool stuff people are doing if I if I was single and I was just like walking down the street or I was At a bar after a show. I'm hanging out somewhere trying to get it. Mm-hmm cuz my dick works again Yeah, I bought a new dick Hymns.com get a new dick. They send it in the mail

They got a size that's right for you and your partner. Yeah, it's like Zeni Optical. They send you a bunch. I saw somebody who was black and white. I'd be like, whoa, hubba hubba. Oh, and Harley Quinn? Yeah. Somebody who was fucking, looked like they were in a fucking talkie.

That'd be sick. Talkie. Yeah, after the Nickelodeon, putting a quarter in the slot. Come up and see me sometime. I'd go up and see. Dude, if you were single, and I'm glad you're not, you'd be picking up so much Road Strange. Hopefully I'll never be single again.

It'd be nuts, dude. It would be insane. No, it would. Yeah, it would. It would. But it's like, who cares? I'd much rather dick around with y'all and then go home To my lovely wife. I would rather dick around with us. Yeah, dude

Okay, then get then either learn stuff about some rando or blowing us off this weekend. Shut up At the Hall of Fame I went the wrong way. I didn't know where I was going. You guys didn't say hey this way You were doing a funny bit and then you're gonna come back around Horseshoe and that you guys had seen a lot of that stuff and we were gonna keep it moving What's the biggest Hall of Fame in Cleveland? It was it was a real I thought we were in severance all of a sudden It was just like fucking hallway after hallway. Yeah, Dan severin on your ass, bro It's gonna shoot on that room No, but yeah, I just I just wanted to make sure you like us

because we like you a lot. Yeah, I wanted to take a little nap and that's all I did. And I didn't tell you my room number right away and you spiraled and you're like, have we ever even been friends? I mean, call me honey baked because I was fucking spiral cut. It sucked.

I was telling, I texted you for a thing. I was like, Becker, what's happening? Fix this, Becker, my little fixer. Yes. He didn't fix it. He couldn't fix it. He wanted to sleep. Can't fix stupid.

I'll tell you that right now. Then guess what? We hung out so much after that. Yeah, you know, we're still hanging out. Yes. Because we signed that contract with Spotify. We're fucked. Everything's ruined.

No, everything's good. Oh. Yeah, everything's good. That's good. No, everything's good. Oh. Yeah, everything's good. That's good. I'm happy about it. Yeah. Becker, you like it? I'm loving it.

Becker, you're new to the road. How is it going? Pretty good. You haven't been out hunting any strange. No. That disappoints us. I don't feel great all the time, and it seems like a lot of effort

when I'd rather spend any extra energy I have on eating sweets or food. Why don't you put some sweets right in that gal? Here. This is whipped cream. Show me how you would do it. No! Pretend one's the girl. This is the sticky room. I don't really want to get all whipped creamed up while I'm holding the equipment, but thank you. You got jelly over there?

I got some jelly for later. Jelly. You guys clear out of here. You're gonna fuck the ramekin? Fuck I wish. Whoa, they gave us jelly with the mousse. I couldn't see the bottom of this thing. Is it fudge? Oh.

More chocolate? Let me judge. Chocolate for the mousse. Raspberry? It's raspberry. Yeah. Oh my god, excuse me guys. There's probably some of that for you too.

Oh yeah. Ugh. I'm sober. That got somebody hard hymns style. Hey here's the thing about hymns. You gotta use it. Yeah. You've fucking ripped your little Rudolph since day one.

You've just been crushing that thing You don't respond to human touch anymore. They stole your foreskin. They stole your history Well, we were just talking about how that's not a thing anymore, what's that they they won't steal the baby foreskin no more Most most people now recognize its mutilation My wife won't most people I don't think that's true Most people get circumcised not in only in America. Yeah, and it's like the numbers are dropping rapidly These European guys are wearing their fucking turtlenecks on and off the court. They wonder why they go so long Cuz they weren't robbed

They tied it all. They took the whole thing. They tied it off. Becker, I think Sam, our server this evening, liked you. She brought you two corn dogs. She did bring me two corn dogs. And then she watched you eat them. She did? Yes. Weird. I know. That's very weird.

She said she liked the way you dunk it. I'll bet she didn't watch you. I know she didn't watch me. She's not a psycho. Because you were watching her. No. You fucking pervert. She's not a psycho. Get her on the Discord. No one would watch me eat a corn dog. By the way, we have ExpressVPN coming on next week, so that's big news for guys like you. I have not been able to keep that joke inside of me. I've been waiting to say it. I couldn't even wait until they came on to give us money, but yes It'll be big for our Texas listeners. Oh, yeah

They get back to stump fucking You don't have to try to remember the time you got laid in 2004 no, yeah I'm going down to hang out with a horny guy in Texas tomorrow. God. He's as horny as all of us put together He's our captain planet of being horny. I know Yeah, we anal Jack's like five times a day and even without that he's been it's been covered Yeah, he's don't need to give his jack-off schedule anymore. I can do it. Yeah I'm gonna go down there see him that'll ever slap his barrel. You almost canceled. I'm gonna bother Tommy Pope. I did almost cancel and

I should have. My flight leaves in oh five hours? Yeah. Great I'll get lots of sleep I'm gonna be so funny tomorrow. I'm gonna be so funny on your show Brent. I'll be like whoa I never thought of it that way. It's a panel show too so I can't just mail it in. I can't go up and be like, hook them horns. You know, I do all my Austin stuff. Austin Powers. Being gay is wrong. It's a crime. That's not Austin stuff.

Austin Powers. A new Austin. Yep. And then you're going, you're doing two shows tomorrow. And then I'm going to Toledo and and that's all I'm doing yes. Yes Holy Toledo yeah, we're gonna make that joke We're actually in a very iceberg, Ohio, and then I'm not I'm not even doing Toledo and the next weekend I'm not even doing Portland. I'm doing Vancouver, Washington, which is across the border from Portland right so everything is fucking upside down

I haven't talked about this yet So make sure if you're in Portland. This is my only date up there this year I fucking did I tell you guys about this one I sent them a hilarious video because it's at the RV RV style event center is the name of the place Or hold on let me make sure we fucking double-check because I got in trouble for this already. What do you mean? Hold on. I'll tell you mean? Uh, hold on I'll tell you all about it, bro You got in trouble cuz you biffed it. No, I didn't even biff

So I sent them a great video Very funny. They said I love everything about it. I said something about like oh, it's the RV event center Make sure you come out, you know, it's where all the RVs have their quinceaneras. Come on down. See the RVs get married It's funny 60 second video By the way, who fucking cares? All right. I'm doing a show at an RV hall. You're welcome. All right, that's not really even a thing I love everything about it and the play on the RVs only thing is the name of the venue is wrong It's the RV in style convention center. I

said You want another one or you think this is fine and they said I get what you're saying I think that's a good idea but unfortunately the marketing team asked if I get a correct one sorry dude appreciate you I said well I'm sure the marketing team is much funnier than me so guys I will be at the RV in style convention center. You know what's in style is getting it right the first time Oh is it yeah, that's in this year mistakes. There's your second chances to try again the first time. That's what they do Put that on a shirt. I don't know if that works come on put that on off-white trying in the first time

Yeah, okay, because there's no there's no do-overs there's just first chances okay look man i don't know if i need to be fact-checked at 1 15 all right i love you you know i love you but uh come out and see that show at the rv don't holiday no i don't have to get it right in style arena. Come on down to the NBA inside stuff RV hall. Hey if you Google are you an RV if you Google RV style comedy show Guess what the SEO has been maximized I think it'll pop in track it down if you search RV in or RV style or RV Sam Talon, it's got my last name wrong RV styling and profiling. Yeah. Anyway, monster truck rally. Hook in micro suit warehouse RV party center. You're just powering down in real time.

The RV dome. Come on down to the RV Dome. The end credits are rolling. You can hear it malfunction. How much more do we have? Twelve minutes. Oh my god. There's blood in my bed. Ah, some shouldn't. Why do you eat, let me eat all that mousse. Get out of there. I saddled my balls when I turned around. Oh shoot. I married Emily and it really hurt. You gotta get them off. Yeah, you gotta get them gone. You're not using them. Oh, you should be out slamming gash. I should, I thought about it last night. Yeah, I remember you said, tomorrow's St. Patrick's Day, you know what that means, easy pickings.

That's what you said. And you said, I'm not gonna wear any green because I like the pinches. I didn't get pinched once. Get all puffed up. Me neither, I didn't get pinched once at all. That's just Monday, I think just another man's Monday St. Patrick's Day you can pinch to hell st. Pat's if you conceive a baby on st. Pat's throw it back

He's not gonna be okay. You walked that back on stage. Just told told somebody if if they had a Got a baby got somebody pregnant on this weekend yeah throw it there no if you drive it you're driving back to Youngstown throw it over the bridge throw it into the water then you're like I'm sorry yeah I apologize cuz I next stop hell I blasted a lady because I said something about that's the only oh when I mentioned the nature boy Rick Flair was adopted should have called himself the nurture boy that would have been more accurate I say that's the only time I used my bachelor's degree in psychology your parents were right, college is worth it, kind of, eventually. Tell the joke.

And this woman goes, not really. And I didn't like that. So I said, not really. I was like, I heard that. That's cool. Sorry, I'm not, whatever you are, an esthetician. You pop pimples for $11.25 an hour. That's cool. You said that?

Yeah. Oh man. And then I said, I'm sorry. I was like, unless I was dead on, that'd be cool. But yeah, I got her ass. Good man, they need to be remembered. She didn't say anything after that, maybe I was right on. You might've nailed it.

Yeah, Becker kept telling women in the merch line, women's day was last weekend, let me see them. That's over now. Yeah, it's over. over back to the it's back to business is you dudes boys dudes doing stuff how about that Kelsey Rosen she's a ball of fun yeah she was great so glad she did this I wish she was around next weekend yeah me too instead of Pat Ier my them packets in on Sunday Okay, so it's not even a big deal for you sweet

But I'll be back. I yeah, I know Terminator 2 You're the t69 thousand I Cried today at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Oh, yeah, Kelsey hugged me and you went what about me? I wanted a hug too. Yeah, I know and I was like Pretenders made me cry Yeah, that was nice. Yeah, it's nice. You know, I'm just a guy like you You gotta remember that guys Just a man who had a mom

And then fucking Obama took her away. Put her in that cage down in Guantanamo, because she sent a couple text messages. Come on. Light treason? Give her back, Obama. Let my mom out. Guess what? If you're down there playing the Aquabats to try and freak her out,

she loves that shit. Because that's her boy's music. She's only getting stronger because she's thinking of me. Do you want to tell them what she told you that your mom said? Oh I think I have yeah. Yeah so the pretenders Chrissy Hine from Akron, my mom from Cleveland, she saw the pretenders a bunch as a kid. James Gang played her prom. She, we play, we are dance the father, the mother son dance at my wedding. Father daughter, father daughter. Do do do do. Oh, the calling has began outside. What

happened out there? Is something get hit by a car? All that jaywalking. Somebody's bound to get blasted. Fan boat, smush somebody. Yeah, she, we just, we danced to I'll Stand By You by the Pretenders and the whole time she was crying and she would just look up from crying and look at me and go, don't fuck this up. She's fucking perfect, Sam. Don't you fuck this up. It was that for five minutes. It's a long song. Yeah. Everyone's doing body shots during. They're all at the bar. Everybody's like oh yeah they picked a long song. Oh Sam's mom's hands are pretty below the equator honking my rump. We have to dance like this. I don't get hard. Leave room for Jesus.

My dad comes over and he's like, who are you fucking dancing with, Betts? Who is this son of a bitch? He started drinking again at my wedding. Who is this motherfucker? I used to know a low down dirty cum sucker that looked like you. I called him Sam. He was my, oh, hey buddy. Hey, it's your big day. I'm so proud of you. You called him Sam. He was like, oh, hey, buddy. Hey, it's your big day.

I'm so proud of you. All right, I'll let you guys get to it. Hey, you know what? I'll go dance with Sophie. We'll do our own thing. You know what? I'll let you guys get to it. Hey, buddy.

Oh, fuck. Dad, you reek like gin. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, you're a good boy. I'm like, oh, you're a good boy. I'm like, oh, you're a good boy. I'm like, oh, you're a good boy. I'm like, oh, you're a good boy.

I'm like, oh, you're a good boy. I'm like, oh, you're a good boy. I'm like, oh, you're a good boy. I'm like, oh, you're a good boy. I'm like, oh, you're a good boy. You guys can't do it. Hey buddy. Dad, you reek like gin. Happy birthday pal. Hey, who's this little lady? Dave, it's Emily. Hey, I'm gonna call you right on. That's where you are. What's your sign? Dad! Get him out of here! Sophie comes up with a gun. Oh, that's what you are. What's your sign dad?

Sophie comes up with a gun. She's like, all right pop. Let's take you behind the barn Those were the days my mom was alive and dancing and not dead and dancing. I was hoping somebody was gonna end up in the lake. Nobody fell in. We were all right there. Somebody could have fallen in, it would have been hilarious. Instead, no, just beautiful moment after beautiful moment. God damn it. You gotta join the Patreon. moment mm-hmm Get a wedding to find the patreon

Please oh yeah, we did a big Q&A on the page around the patreon We're gonna be putting that out sometime probably in the next month or so yeah, you gotta get on there We got to the hard-hitting questions with Becker. Yeah, how much frosting is too much frosting? Donatello or Raphael? Which one do you wanna see in a bikini more? Yeah, which one? Why did one just have a stick when everyone else had pointed metal weapons and no Choco?

Which one did you want to end up with April? Oh, Donatello. Because you just want her to be happy. Donatello. He's the only adult. Leonardo's a needy child. Mikey, of course. Party animal. Surf's up ninja. He's a only adult. Yeah. Leonardo's a needy child. Yep. Mikey, of course. Party animal.

Surf's up ninja. He's a party dude. Michelangelo's a party dude. Yeah. And Raphael, no one can love him because he can't love himself. Yeah, he's so angry. He's got borderline personality disorder because of what Splinter did. Yeah, he was more hands on with him.

His little paws scurrying all over his little turtle body. Raphael was a big toe when Splinter was in there. Oh yeah, I like that. That's why they call it the foot clamp. Because they were also diddled by Splinter and that's why they want to kill the turtles. Yeah, Splinter was tough. That's why he had to become a rat man.

He did flee Japan and run away and became a construction worker in New York A lot of guys fled Japan give up all of his life Huh? It's weird. Yeah, don't think about splinter too much. He was diddling. Is he still alive? Another man raised his daughter Yeah, cuz the state intervened mmm they said hey rap man you can't be raising this human girl damn follow the money Becker what was the name of that little short guy that wrote if like a bunch of big songs for Elvis or whatever like Frankie Pumo or POM US yeah Doc Pumice. Dude. Look him up. Treat yourselves, guys. I think he just said like, hey, that's you. And I was like, oh, man. He was like, Greg the hammer Valentine.

Yeah, he was smushed and then had like the high pants of the that was the style of the day. Oh, yeah. He was. But he just looked and he was like, oh, he had had polio. So he had crutches and a wheelchair. Like he was all messed up. Doc, promise. He was smushed by polio. Yes. But he wrote like several big old songs.

And then it was funny that you were like, yeah, they told him, he can't get out on stage, kid. Come on, buddy, you know better. You gotta stay in the wings. Yeah, come back here. We'll put an earpiece in Elvis. You sing to him. Yeah. All right. Hey, I'll give you a one chance to do what Elvis does out there without hurting yourself. If you can move at all. Hey, we got you a job, Doc Pumice. You're the hood ornament.

He was very funny. Yeah. Maybe one of the highlights, I I guess for me was that picture of him. I liked that I was really tickled for the hopeless records exhibit and then I also liked seeing Handsome dick manitoba. I like seeing that dictators record because they're often overlooked as the birthplace or the you know, one of the proto punks It's one of the fights the picture is so funny look up the cover of the dictators first album It's just a guy with an afro who's not buff going like this in the locker room. Oh Yeah, that was funny. I was surprised there wasn't a stacks area There would be I mean, I think there was a couple of artists opposite the wall of Motown But not like they had for the other big presses of the time

It was also five stories tall and we didn't go upstairs. That's true, yeah. So that could have had something to do with it. We got a little snapshot. Yeah, we got everything we needed. It was enough. Yeah. Enough for me. They have the misfits jackets in there from when they reunited in 2016.

Yeah, because when I saw it at first, I was like, wow, that was an intricate jacket. And then I looked at the date and was like odd thing to be donated already Yeah, Jerry only was like I'm gonna do whatever I want to You're not the only fucking ferret in this dish. Well, check this out Then you just wore like something Madonna wore but with a skull on it. I also like did you notice there was one Dress that was just hung in the air Yeah, and everything else was visible at eye level and Pink's dress is hung to where no one has to see it.

Yeah, it was actually fly paper. Covered it in honey. What? I didn't notice. Yeah. Did they like hit it? It's like 15 feet in the air. And the only reason I saw a placard for it was like, there's no dress.

Why'd they put it up there? And then finally saw it and was like, oh, that sucks. Because Pink was in like a famous performance where she Would dangle from like she would sing from the bike. Oh Okay, I think I'm dressed that she wore you're thinking of Eddie Vedder. I think you would climb stuff No, I'm thinking of cousin Eddie they kind of sound similar Eddie Vedder and pink were kind of the same I'm actually thinking of Ed vocal rose but not Eddie. Okay, yeah. He was busy with Plank.

One D or two. Dude, I was, I didn't get a laugh tonight on stage, but I'm still so tickled by the guy walking around the fucking... Where's my phone? I think you're sitting on it. No, I've been there before. Oh, it's gonna stink. Check your own ass. Hello? Other thigh? No, no, no. It's gonna stink check your own ass

Well, there's just a guy walking around the fucking rock and roll Hall of Fame just Not looking at anything phone out I'll get to this later. I'll get to this on the drive back to Dayton. I Don't want your mother to know I saw this Yeah, I did not clock anybody doing that. I wish I had. Just the fattest little fucking Guigui. I did. And his bored daughter just, oh yeah,

that'll be cool later when I look it up on my phone screen. I can pause it. I can read it when I want to. I watched a tourist be so rude to Lun that his life flashed in front of my eyes. Oh yeah. I thought I was gonna kill a guy. There was a maniac walking around with a camera.

Awesome. He hates that. And Nathan's standing there. Just remember it. Taking in all the stuff at the appropriate speed. He's not taking forever. Yeah, he was looking at a hole. This maniac walks up behind one, leans behind him

like he's going to say something sexy, like get the camera in front of Nathan to take a picture. Wrap around photo? Then walks and does it to the next person. What? Then walks and does it to the next person. Then walks and does it to this little lady. Oh, and I watched from behind and was like, London might break this kid's knees. This might be it for him.

This might be all she wrote. Is that why the scat part of Freak on a Leash came on? Go! Put his head through a go-go's exhibit. This is the only vacation I want. It's a prison. That's nuts. It was one of the more socially unaware things I've seen in a long time. Was he that punk rocker from Britain?

No. Because that guy was like up everyone's ass too. I talked to him. I know. And I thought he was not British maybe. Australian? No, I thought maybe he was like trying to get away with a fake accent the first couple times I heard him. Really? Big Green Day fan. That's fun. But who knows? Mm-hmm. I didn't hear him talk very much but no

this was like a younger guy. Yeah. Probably like 22 or something, 25. He wrapped around for a photo. I don't know how bad it was over lunge shoulder But also he was just like this far from your back to do it It was a fucking insane. Oh move. I didn't clock how Weird it was it was weird and I was like, alright Holy shit, but then I almost kind of thought like yeah do that and get the fuck out of here So I can like read this thing. Mm-hmm. But yeah, no, if I had been, if there had been more people there

and I had been in a like more annoyed overall by the, by the, oh, too much stuff, it was, it was kind of hot. Yeah. I might've blasted him, but it took like a second. It just blew my mind. I didn't say anything and I didn't really care, yeah. But I was having a decent time, I think was part of it. Yeah. Yeah, we're good. It was the continuation of it where I could see

Again that might have been enough to be like hey already in a hurry you gotta rush is on the third floor So why don't you why don't you get out of here? Why don't you sticks it to me brother? Give me just give give me a sec. Give me the beat boy. There's a million things on this fucking wall I want to read about some of them you could maybe take a second and then you see these thing a picture of Doc Pumice And you're like hey, I get it It's my favorite part, too No, I think he's in past like Doc P wasn't it it might have been in front of the grunge stuff And I was like oh, do you not know about Nirvana? So you got to get a picture over at the Seattle

either Nirvana? So you got to get a picture over at the Seattle or What are you a big happening guy? What do you fucking care about over here the breeders you're trying to upskirt deal What's the deal? I'll tell you the deal come see me at the aforementioned shows Toledo Vancouver come on out to see me in Omaha Kentucky I'm coming to Kentucky, Iowa City, samtalent.com. And then also obviously the UK. Those UK dates are gonna be great. Glasgow, London, Manchester.

Big book event at the Social London on May 19th. Lund confirmed, bought his flight there. We'll see how he does when he's there, if he comes home or not. And then Australia. I'm also doing Amsterdam. There's various Amsterdam dates while I'm over there. I'm going to do a Parrish show. Yeah. But also, hey. My Spilkes.

Yeah. May 1st, actually. I'm doing a big show at Soho House for my birthday in Amsterdam. That rules. I'm going to be so high. I'm going to be so fucking high. It's going to be crazy. Australia. We're coming down there. New Zealand as well. I think we're adding a second show in New Zealand already. Tickets are doing well. Whoa. Auckland man tuning fork. What up? It fits 14 people so it makes sense that we're doing to Also, if you're in Australia and you got an email about them

Sorry that burp was heinous. You got an email about them getting rid of the meet-and-greet They charged you for a VIP meet-and-greet and I said that's fucked I'll meet and greet them for free So I'm still gonna be out there afterward shaking hands taking pictures seeing who's got them Australia style Down under yeah, who's got them down under who's got them up top down under The name of the tour. So yeah, they did that without asking me So that's the reason that you got that email. Your tickets are still good, I think. And

I'll be out there no matter what. Yeah. Join the Patreon. Please. For us, for little Becky here, little Beckworth, and of course the meat man, man Mountain Rock. Salutations. Max Payne. The one known as Lone, the one known as Becker, the one known as Becker Jr. Time to watch Red Eye. Yeah. The movie, not the old Gutfeld show. Goodbye, we love you. Watch the WB. Patreon.com slash show me behemoth. For all your show me behemoth, Patreon needs...