Chubby Behemoth - His Own Haha Hand

Episode Date: February 22, 2026

SEE THE BOYS LIVE - https://punchup.live/samtallent     Sponsors: HIMS - Support the show & get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care with HIMS @ http://hims.com/CHUBBY     Ridge - One thing to pack, five ways to power! Get 10% @ Ridge with code CHUBBY at https://www.Ridge.com/CHUBBY #Ridgepod #sponsored #ad     Chubbies - Chubbies is here to help keep you comfy & looking good year-round. Get 20% off with code chubby at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/chubby #chubbiespod     PATREON EPISODES: https://www.Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth     This week the boys are all together in Albuquerque. Sam loves city planning now, teaches the fellas about a drinking game he used to play, and has updates about his new roommate. Nathan has been trying a new name for New Mexico, was reminded of the old days post show smokedowns, and doesn't understand having Vh1 but not MTV.     00:00 Poker Coverage 02:26 I Am The Barrel 03:31 He's Been Rotating 05:15 Bunch Of Flips 07:20 Right Next To It 09:21 The Real Wild Card 12:07 Albuquerque Legends 15:07 Here Was The Game 18:15 This One Has Potential 21:35 He Reeks All The Time 23:10 Tent Peg Bundy 24:52 Doing The Peewee 27:53 I Put It In The Dryer 30:51 Snow Poison 32:23 New Addiction 33:49 Delta Is Riding High 36:27 Same Kabuki Theater 39:36 Y2K 41:55 Harry And Tonto 44:04 Doesn't Have The Same Ring To It 45:43 Flashback 47:58 Wasn't Going Down 50:37 Carlos Teaches ABQ Slang 53:37 Feeling A Little Chubbie 57:58 Kinked It 59:29 I Live Next Door 01:02:03 Historically 01:04:30 My God 01:06:56 Always Had Vh1     Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   MORE WIDE WORLD: @SamTallent   Pre-Order Sam's New Book - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0593978897/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3I4LOBQ02YIGW&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.k5eCApJdjwVfn7hSelWi5VdRMlVrzKa4zf68ficcjcg.tZZOiI0nB0n3kkWiGAbidMQy5yUS_MkvmEIaXp-LXjo&dib_tag=se&keywords=sam+tallent+brut&qid=1769522903&sprefix=sam+tallent+,aps,181&sr=8-1&dplnkId=90401c83-a6a0-4ad4-999e-ece570a5d320&nodl=1

Have sex in the car while eating stuff. What are you talking to this part? Yeah. It is kind of unsettling that people have like a whole, that's a whole type of media now that totally missed me that I have nothing to do with. It's just watching people do other that do. I mean, I watch sports, I guess. I didn't watch people eat or play Fortnite.

I watched poker coverage. Yeah. I liked, yeah, I was hooked on poker for a while. Yeah. When it was first on ESPN, I was watching it a lot and playing it a lot. I've watched people play magic like online, you know? So I guess there are, but just that that is a whole, like the way that YouTube is for people now. I mean, I only use YouTube, but it's mostly to listen to a very boring history podcast now.

City planning podcast. City planning. If you ever find yourself watching a city council meeting, please tell somebody so that we can get you the help you need. Because that would be crazy. No, it's not that kind of stuff. It's not city council. It's like, why design is a better way to put it. City planning.

Why people developing. Why Philadelphia looks the way it does. Why Rochester like, you know. Honks. No, I'm not. I was going to say failed, but we had a good time in Rochester. We did. Dude, so helium was like, you know, like they're playing ball hard, the comedy clubs in Philly.

and we got helium Philly in October. Oh, yeah, they were doing the David Spade receptionist to you. And you are? Yeah. And I would know you from. And you sell how many? Sold out here seven times. I've only been here seven times.

So, hi. I'd like to do business for you. So anyway, my agent, I was like, yeah, yeah. And I'd like to do Buffalo too. And he was like, hold on. You want Buffalo? And I was like, yeah, I want Buffalo. You know, I like to work.

And he's like, this is great. I'm going to tell him. I'll give you Sam. I'll give you Sam. All right. I'll give you Sam and Buffalo. Sam will do Buffalo. They're going to love it.

But we want that October date at Philly Helium. And they were like, all right, he'll do Buffalo. That's wild. Yeah, I know. My agent was like, this is huge. I can dangle it. Oh, wait, we didn't do Buffalo, so I have not done Buffalo. We did a ratchet.

We ate wings in Buffalo. We did. We went to the anchor bar and crushed a bunch of joints. Yeah. Dude. And they were bombed. They were so good. And it was pride?

There was a parade? Yeah. And parking sucked. Remember? We were like all stressed about parking. And we had to wait for parking for like three minutes. So of course you were like, let's just drive back to Detroit. You know?

I've had enough of this. Just kill me. Throw me over the falls. I don't need a barrel or nothing. I am the barrel. I'm my own barrel I'm the barrel of a gun I'm my own crang

I'm cranging myself Yeah cranging yourself Is sing your own D This sucks being in the middle This is my first time Scoot forward just to smidge Forward Yeah it was pinching

You don't have to go that much It was just pinching the courts It looks like he's being interrogated I like what Becker has to sit forward But I want Why don't you let getting Becker's bad one No no no I have to be in the chair

I'm just How about this Saying it's weird You get in the chair, Becker, lung it's in my bed. I should rotate slowly like the stratosphere, the restaurant on top of the stratosphere. I'll just, it's almost imperceptible until I'm like 180 degrees. And then you're like, oh, shit, he's been rotating the whole time. You're the fattest sphere.

AKA the sphere. Yeah. You think the sphere's pissed? Right. Battle of the spheres. Strato or land sphere. Yeah, did they do that math in their heads when they opened up? I don't think so.

They're getting fucked already. Yeah, they're bleeding money. Bleeding money. Are you jerking off? No, I'm fixing my sock. Yeah, I've heard that before. How are they bleeding money? It looks cool.

They got people aren't buying tickets. Yeah, people aren't buying tickets. People aren't developing shows for it. People don't want to sit in a sphere and go like this. It's too much. Yeah. The artist's commitment is huge because you've got to have the visuals prepared for it in there. You have to be spherical.

The cost of that is through the roof. One run or whatever. It's only like Fat Joe or John Popper at this point. Yeah. The other Mama Cass is dead. So yeah. I think it's fucked. I think your heart is small.

Now that Mama Cass died 50 years ago. The sphere is reeling. Who's going to touch every wall? John Panette had committed for like a year of. of shows at the sphere and then he died. Yeah, because Louis canceled. In 2002 or whatever. Panette.

Yeah. I think once a year you say. Sorry, sorry, I'm a thousand miles away. Watching John Panette, front row. It's so funny to go on stage and try to take in everybody at hyenas. And you see Mike Long, who I haven't run into, talk to in forever. Oh, if you saw the, there was an early promo video that a listener put together to a Pantera song and it had a bunch of different footage of you and I on stage or whatever,

but it starts with me doing moonsaults back trying to do it backflips. It's in my private folder that I have to unlock with my face. Yeah, that's in, that was in Mike Long's place in Albuquerque when we did that tour in 2011, I guess, 2012. Yeah. Jesus, that was the Clayton, New Mexico to Albuquerque tour. Yeah, and you did a bunch of flips. Mike Long was like, yeah, man, you know, I haven't drank in however long. How long do you say six years?

Yeah. I was like, yeah, we used to go crazy. We used to tie it on. And he was like, yeah, one time I remember I had like a 90 milligram morphine and I was scared to eat it. And I was carrying it in my wallet. And you were like, what? You don't want it. And you ate it.

And we'd been drinking for hours. Yeah. Not that. Not that. Not that. I don't know. He said it was like a 90. That sounds amazing. Yeah.

But that can't be the same as like an oxy 30 or 60. They usually give out morphine in two or four milligram pills. So a 90 would be. Maybe his nine then? For a bear. He said 90. Uh-oh. Yeah, that would be nuts.

Yeah. It would look like a sweet tart. Yeah, it couldn't have been 90, right? Yeah, that'd be a fucking big horseball. Because also like, even if I was wasted, I wouldn't have eaten a 90 milligram opium. You did. Whatever. You weren't going to die.

They might have made 19s. I forgot. I wasn't going to die. It's crazy to go from the guy who eats a weird pill from a dude who defined himself by owning shiricans. That was who he was. He had nunchucks.

He had shiricans. He had swords. We used to be able to go over there and actually like rattle sabers, dude. Yeah. And you could smoke weed on his roof and he could just party. He lived above the Holocaust Memorial.

He lived right next to it. Damn. And so, yeah, after we had. And like he said, when we stayed at his place, he was like at the hospital because he was dealing with like a weird heart thing. By the way, we're in Albuquerque, New Mexico. We are, allegedly. I'm going to go to Zoro Ranch on Sunday and be like, let me in. Eric Andre, let me in.

I'm going to make my own meme. They're going to put you in the chair and impregnate you. That was a big, Zorro, the gay blade. Where's George Hamilton? They're going to put an Epstein baby in you. He was a final experiment. Yeah. He's perfect.

I'm my own crank. Give me 20 of them. No. They can put two babies in you at once. Octo, Octo dad. Octopop. We partied at Mike's place.

He was like in the ICU. You're carrying Prince Andrews. His heart popped. He hit me with a car and then the car was totaled. The car was red. He was pissed. We partied at his place, and then the next morning we're all bleary-eyed, and we go to load up the van, and we were like the Holocaust Museum.

And then kids came out, like young kids, and we looked like we, I mean, I'll bet most of those kids were scared of us, and then like two of them were like, fuck, yeah. Like, they didn't know what we were up to, but they liked it. Because we've reeked of sigs and weed. Yeah, I looked insane, of course. Our hair and makeup were all a mess. overalls, Sam? I don't know, but I remember on that trip,

I was shoeless a lot, just chilling. Coveralls. If not. Flannel. Hair up in the air. Dude. Flannel. Yeah, Mike Long.

Mike Long. When Chris Getther did his, I can't spend any money, but have to, like, get across the country thing. Yeah. Mike Long and Jason Green, another. Jason Green.

Shout out Jason Green. Shout out. Who was the Reefs? real wild guard. Stephen Hunt. Oh, fuck. Stephen Haha Hunt.

Always leave him wanting more. Well, yeah, we both were like, wanting more ADA access. Oh, yeah. He needed an, well, no, he didn't want an ADA. He needed a public D. He dumped his crippled girlfriend

down the stairs twice. Because the first time didn't kill her. He told him to. Oh. What? He loaded her back in and re went back up? No. Oh, twice in one day. Oh, no. That's my understanding is he did it twice. I understood earlier when you said twice to be like he tried once it didn't work. No, I don't think it was separate occasions. I think that he pushed her down the stairs and it didn't work. So we like towed her back up the stairs and then had to go get the wheelchair. It was like, all right, take two babs. And then dumped her once more so he could get her fucking social security or whatever. This time we're going to film it. And his name was Stephen Ha Ha Ha Hunt.

And this is all alleged. You and him both with your Facebook names. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably by his own hand, by his own ha ha ha hand. Ha ha, hand. There was no manhunt for ha ha hunt. Hey, comedy consumer. It's me, Sam Talent.

Make sure you pre-order Brute on Amazon. And I'll be in Springfield, Missouri, at the no longer Blue Room Comedy Club, followed by Cicepidst Brewing, which are pretty much sold out. So if you want to go to Minneapolis, get your tickets because that room is tiny, and I will be doing a good job in there. Maybe we'll have a Sunday. I don't know. I like to go home. Laugh Boston for fucking St. Pat's. What a hell?

Did not do that math. Whoa. Laugh Boston. I didn't know until you just said it. St. Pat's, bro. Hey, man. Shut up. Hey, if anyone's going to do it, it's the dog.

All right. So I can handle that. Please get those tickets. I have to sell that out. So many great dates. coming up. We got San Francisco. We got Crystal Bay. We got Loonies, bro. Loonies. Doing Loonies in March, Carlos. All right. So you can come on down. And also join the Patreon. Why not do that? That's a cool thing. Yeah, man. Patreon.com slash chubby behemoth. So many good episodes just waiting

for you, dripping. Sam Talent live stream. Sam Talent YouTube every Wednesday. I'll be in Boston. I'll be at Loonies. I'll be in at the Springfield Comedy Club. I believe it. is what they're calling it. Excited for that. And not Sisyphus, I don't think. No, I'm going to bring Pat to Sisyphus. Good. That'll be fun.

Damn. There were so many Albuquerque legends. Well, yeah, we came here. A lot. Oh, I thought about Ann saw a post for the first time in a while from Genevieve, who was doing Comedians Power Hour down here. And those are like the first time we were coming down here. Oh, my God.

Was the do comedians power hour at her house. We. Yeah, before there was much of anything else. I got. Any other shows? Fucked up. I won. Dude, I took so much pride in being like a 10-time power hour champion.

Yeah. Throughout my tenure on there. Nobody could bring it like you did. And it was home cooking. Yeah, because Bobby's sisters were only owns in the crowd. So it was all 13 of them. The whole gap. The Wrangola Bakers does.

All those chopped huzz. You know what chopped huss means? No. Like ugly ho. Really? Yeah, because yesterday I did Hive Minds live stream, and of course people were saying choppedunk-unk-unk-so-chop. That's bad, though, right?

Yeah, it's not good. For sure. It's bad. Chop means busted. Yeah, it means busted. Gross. Yeah. Fell down the ugly tree, hit every branch.

Damn. Yeah, human narwhal. Cringe. Gross. No, not cringe. Like, onk still means wisdom. Like, you have wisdom, but you're chopped. Chopped means old.

Gross. Anyway. Okay. So, yeah, we would come down here and do a... Stinky. Genovese show. Yeah. And I feel like it was in the air.

Kennedy. I feel like it could have been an anything goes sexual free-for-all after those shows. Well, I mean, yeah, we were really... Were you on to something? Were you doing a power hour? Were you doing a shot every minute? A beer, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, it's always beer. Yeah, otherwise. But we wouldn't... A shot a minute... Or no, it was a double shot every two minutes. Okay. So that you didn't have as many breaks and the set. Yes.

It was often just a cup of beer. Yeah. It was a full cup of beer. You and I definitely... We gave them a show. Yes. You popped the marks, man. I'm pretty sure down here we, like, had a beer that didn't count, but at the beginning.

We like, yeah, we... I would drink your beer when it was you... I was not. I was not scared. of drinking too many beers Well it wasn't that much beer It was like maybe 10 beers No it wasn't 10 ounces

So that's five Yeah but it was Brett Hiker doling it out Right But there's only so much sweet He didn't have his shock glass You know Yeah He didn't have his beakers

In his magnifying glass He can't measure by sight He's a chimera Yeah Yeah man we God that was fun Damn That was so long ago

Getting wasted Wasted Wasted There was Lamp shade on the head, nude. Power hours were fucked.

God, that was rough freshman year at college when we were all thinking that was fun. We were so beyond power. We just used to play here. Here was the game. You get a handle of whatever was cheap and you'd swig it and then

it'd be like eight of you and here and then you had to take a swig here, take a swig and the bottle would be gone to like five minutes a handle and then you would start like drinking beers. But yeah, here. we just got us fucked up.

I went up to Boulder to, like, tour up there. I went to a party with my friend, Vincentville Vic Sanchezo, Nick Salazar, a couple more kids who, they weren't at all going to college up there. They were just served. They knew I was going to Boulder and then I had a room that could crash in.

And then a couple more fucking deadbeats who were up there that we knew. And man, we rolled into those parties and we're just like, this is what you guys think is cool? This is how you party? Yeah. Now, granted, we were despicable.

individuals. Yeah. That was the same time when fucking we pulled the fire alarm in the frat house, you know. Very good. Yeah. Smashed up the Conoco sign. Just bad boy behavior. It was sick because you could always go stay at Heather Harris's apartment and she was the

hottest girl ever. So anyway, yeah, I never had much truck for power hour. When you guys were like 19, too. Are you talking about when you were young? I was 18 years old. Yeah, when you were touring. But part of why we loved it is the. that it was like seven beers and you'd just be fucked.

Yeah. If you sat down and did the hour and we put on like a playlist where the music changed every minute. And it was like, man, for six bucks, I'm tore up. I think my relationship with alcohol was like much more profound and awful by the time I got to college than a lot of other. I mean, obviously a lot of kids been drinking high school and shit. But like the way we did it was like, yeah, of course I'll drink ever clear mixed with some. need a light out of a gas can. Yeah.

I was the only person not drinking like that in my group of friends because I wanted to make money all night. But man, drinking at power hour, then afterward, you just had this like feeling of being the visiting Viking. Would people, because I mean, obviously with Coke, everybody at the party knows you have it. They're coming to you every two seconds. H wasn't like that, wasn't it?

They weren't coming every two seconds. The weed they would. You sold a lot of weed. Yeah. But not blow. Not the. The heroin and the pills was mostly people like before the party or at the very beginning of the party around. Yeah, they'd come up and be like, hey, Jake, is Dr. Wu in?

But weed was like if I got drunk, I'd give out a bunch of fronted 20 bags at three in the morning. I don't know who said that, but it was funny. But I'd give out a bunch of 20 bags and then forget if I was drinking. I had no idea to load me money. Can you hear me, Dr. Wu? Yes. Oh, it was Deadwood, too. I thought it was just an Asian guy, but the Deadwood.

I think that's a steely dance song. Yeah. Can you hear me, Dr. Wu? Are you here? Are you high? Are you an ordinary guy? Can you? I've for sure sung Dr. Wu on the podcast before.

Someone thinks they just entered some kind of time spiral out there. It's listening. We're also joined by Albuquerque legend. Carlos, everyone. I remember him from the legendary Skangfish episode. where Becker said one sentence. I keep making faces at him. Oh, and then he yelled, Sam yelled at you.

The whole episode was me pretending to be mad at Becker. Mad. Because I knew I had to carry because they were fucking little beat up. Yeah. And that was the episode where I said, who's we, white man? Yeah. And then I laughed at that for eight minutes. And then that was the episode.

That was a fun episode. That was a fun episode. but this one has potential. So far so good. Well, Pat moved in. Yeah. Have you? What was that noise?

I thought that was one of Pat's many. Yeah, yeah. Foot. Furt. Did you watch the footage of him arriving at your place for the first night? Oh, yeah. Did you check their camera? I don't think so.

Oh. You never looked to see. if you spotted your nude friend entering the home. Oh, shit. I forgot all about that. Yeah, Pat got bedbugs in Des Moines and then had to strip nude on the side of the house while Emmy stood there shaking her head

and saying, where's your penis? Where's your penis, buddy? Did you forget your penis at home? Like your passport? Tell your mom to mail your penis. So, yeah, Pat was like, Oh, can I come in and take shower? And Emmy was like,

gave him a big hose down hit him with a flame thrower yeah so no he then he had to wear some clothes that I had which was just a purple sweatsuit so he was grimaced and after driving that distance he disassociated and just felt like a purple blob he said he was sitting on my couch look at himself on the yellow couch

and he was all purple and he like lost any kind of semblance of what the hell am I doing Life. Yeah. I mean, like, I have bed bugs, so I'm purple now? I thought, when Emily said there's a purple blob on the couch, I didn't know what he was wearing. Right. You thought, why, yeah, well, I was like, why was he so bit up that he was, his skin was purple?

It was cold and he got bit up. And earlier was acting like, I'm not sure if it was bugs or not, then shows up to swollen. Yeah, head to toe, pub. Puss. Puss Richardson. More pus than man. Patrick Puss. I've been jealous every time I see him or Emily or you post about the three of you in that home.

You could be right there, bro. In Foxwood Hills or wherever the hell you live. Gated community. There's a guard. There's a dog. The guard dog has a little guard cat. The dog has a laser on its head. Kind of like the sharks.

The dog is in ice, so he's got federal immunity. He's in case to nice. Can bite whoever he wants and ask questions later. You know what really funny thing about everything going on? Obviously. A lot of a laugh riot. Well, a lot of good stuff in there. Obviously this Trump situation, you know, he's the president.

He's my president. And so like obviously there's all the things that are in. in the files, maybe not in the files. Who knows, you know? But the fact that he reeks all the time is so fucking funny. Like, the president being, uh, you know, a dangerous, uh, predator, that's one thing. But the fact that he smells all the time. I hadn't, I hadn't caught any of this yet.

He's been reported as stinking repeatedly. You don't know about this? No. Oh, he reeks constantly. And that's all over the files? There's various photos. No, no. So, this is just well known.

Like there was, there was, Putin's around him. He literally is like, there was a, like a PA or something on the apprentice that said something a few years back. He's diped. And he said he stinks. He shits himself. He's diapered. And then pictures have been, you know, his first term, pictures where it looked like he was wearing a diaper when he's golfing or whatever. I have seen him look like he's in a diaper. Right. So that's a cool look. Don't get me wrong. People were, people thought that he had abused. And maybe the apprentice guy said that he had abused. And maybe the apprentice guy said that he had abused. a lot of Adderall. And he eats McDonald's all the time.

Right. And so it was like incontinent. But then recently there was this person victim. What? Is that not true? I don't know. But this person, they're fucking, if you say a word about ice on Reddit, they send your shit off to the FBI now.

Yeah. So like, I don't know if this one that you're about to say, are you talking about the tent peg? Yeah. Ten peg Bundy. That's the name of the episode. Ten Peg Bundy. King Kong Peg Bundy.

Anyway. Anyway. Well, yeah. So there's a lot of potential for just some real crazy shit in the files that happened. Didn't happen. But he reeks all the time. Damn. But yeah.

Smells like poop. Like poop. Yes. And he's the president. Shit and poop. There's world, you know, dump, load, crap. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Oh, Carlos. In the old. Oval office. Yeah. Real quick. There was a noise that sounded like he filled his bag. Yeah. Time to go.

Yeah. Oh, bus is leaving. Oh, sorry. Sorry, guys. That wasn't Trump shitting his pants. Also, yeah. We just dropped a bunch of chili in a kitty pool.

I hope nobody sues us. That's the clam chatter bath that we take at 5 o'clock. I hope nobody sues us when they're done covering up their pedophilia and murder or whatever. I hope they don't listen to this with their lawyer and like, get them. I just have no faith in any of the amendments right now. Oh, I guess you are saying with Reddit, yeah, Reddit's being shitting. It's like there's no rules anymore.

No. Everything's out the window. Out back. There's no conduct order. It's out back out there. Allegedly Trump got a tent pole put in his ass and they kicked it in there, allegedly. Whoa. Yeah.

And so that. That'll make you incontinent. That'll make. Hard to get happy. after that way. So yeah, hopefully. You see that picture of Prince Andrew when he got taken out of the police department

yesterday or whatever? Is that you? Did you see this one? He's in the back of a police car like this. Oh yeah, yeah. What the fuck? Literally that might be the biggest what the fuck in the history of man.

Like what's going to happen to me any waking moment? Is this police driver going to take me to a field and like kill me am i dead right now he looked like that picture that carlos took of sharpie upstairs at high flames yeah i'm doing the doing the peeway in dude yeah like you on dmt and still frame and then sharpie was like don't want anyone see that and i showed everyone right away i was like you want to see the funniest picture ever i showed my sister and sharpie was like like, oh, man, that's a bummer.

It's like, what the fuck? You were eating lint because you thought it was more molly. Yeah, shut up. Those were the days. Yeah, and now Sharpie's a judge. Right? Don Alamosa County. You're, yeah, you're on the right track.

Let's keep it vague. Keep them guessing. at a chewy bar before I sat down. ED doesn't mean your love life is over. Hey, I have ED now after what Becker just said. Well, Hymns is here to help. Get personalized prescription treatment options for ED. Hems offers trusted generics that costs 95% less than brand names.

Hymns also has in-house products. Try their hard mints and sex RX plus climax control. And the mints aren't physically hard. They're not like they melt in your mouth. Yeah, you can chew them. You chew them and then your dick, gack, gack, yeah, put them under your tongue. A lot of people were worried how hard are the mints. I have soft teeth.

I have cavities. You can gum them. If you're a pop-pop out there listening to a podcast that's not in your demo, don't worry. Get the mints, get hard, trouble your nurse. With 100% online access to personalized treatment plans, Hymns brings expert care right to you. To get simple online access to personalized affordable care for ED, hair loss, weight loss, and more, Visit hymns.com slash chubby. That's hymns.com slash chubby. For your free online visit, hymns.com slash chubby, actual price will depend on product and subscription plan. Featured products

include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. See website for details, restrictions, and important safety information. Actual price will depend on product and subscription plan. So yeah, Pat's in my house. It's been a nonstop laugh riot. Hell yeah. It's actually been a lot of quiet dedication. I've been trying to lead by example over there.

I don't want to boss them around or be like get to work. But, you know, like he's editing Elena Banfield special. And he was like, yeah, I just want to get it done. And I was like, well, what's preventing you from finishing it tomorrow? He was like, you know, when he thought about it, like fucking he got to go to the Garfield combined. Gotta go to the penis store. He had to run it through the rock.

Try to get a new penis. My mom can't find mine. I thought it was a bed bug, but it was my penis. And I put it in the dryer. Oh yeah, did he go to a laundromat and burn all of his shit or whatever? He went there. But like did he wash and dry two or three times? No, he saw something that was like, who cares?

He went to who cares.com and asked about bedbugs. Carlos, put a pin in a pat, but. Dude, guess what Susanna's been saying? Who cares? Oh, I started... All the time. Whoa. Can I say something about the book?

Yeah, sure. Page two. Oh, good. Yeah. Oh, good. I guess we don't know if... Oh, very good. That could be Polk and not me.

No, it's a lot of people. But yeah, fucking Susanna, uh, she, you know, I run, I go to her house. I surprise her. She's got her own place now. I hear her go, Sammy. She runs in, goes, you know, catches herself. Chris me a hug, punches me in the stomach, you know, classic.

And then I'm like, oh, you're obsessed with me. You were so excited. Ha, ha, ha. And she's like, I don't care about you. Who cares about anything? Now she gets it. Yeah. And then.

She follows me on threads. And I laugh really hard. And I say, oh, my friend Nathan says, who cares? So then I do this thing where I mop her, I mop the floor with her. She's on her back. I grab her feet. We mop with her hair. I'm mopping her through the house and she's going, who cares?

Who cares? And I'm looking down at my knees on the ground, being a mop, going, who cares? Who cares? It was so bizarre. But, yeah. So Pat's on the couch. We're doing work. We've been hanging out in the salarium.

I saw you guys smoking dope in the salarium. Yeah. We've been taking turns being the highest one in the house. Nice. Yeah. Like on a schedule or just letting it happen? Pat the other day woke up and just immediately came downstairs at like two in the afternoon or whatever.

158. Yeah. My baby takes the morning train. Yeah. He works. All right. So he comes down at noon and he just, I'm like, what's up, dude? And he's like, hey man, I was like, do you just wake up?

And he went, yeah. How'd you sleep? Oh, great. I slept great. Walks over, grabs the puff go, loads up a dab. Hasn't said a hundred words yet. Blass it. Whoa.

And I was like, whoa. What's going on? He's like, oh, nothing. just that good job. Yeah. So he got hired right away. I don't do that. But we walked to the, dude, we walked to the goddamn grocery store the other day.

And it was all foggy. It was this like fern golly primordial. It was beautiful. It was so ethereal. So we walk over there. Like ice or snow on the trees and stuff? So here's what it was. Because that can really look.

If it was sparkly frost. It looked like we were in a cloud. Completely. It looked like it was ghost seeping out of the ground. right. Whoa, whoa. So I'm like, that was fucking sick. We're out there, we're having a hoot and holler.

Next day I'd go do the hive mine thing and fucking the boys are like, how about that fog the other day? And I was like, yeah, that was awesome. And they're like, no, no, the snow melted too fast because there was a temperature swing and it released a bunch of deadly gas. Oh, no. Snow poison. What the fuck?

What? That's a thing? Snow poises. Yeah. What the fuck. Yeah. The curse has been. awakened. Yeah, that's what they told me. So they were like, yeah, we had like worst air quality

than Mumbai for two days. And I was like, yeah, I was out there in it, loving every minute of it. The longest walk I've done to the grocery store. Damn. Yeah. I'm trying to introduce Pat to some cool people. I take them to my coffee shop and introduce them to all the, you know, people who've surpassed gender who work there. They beat it. Yeah. Three years clean on gender. I got six I got six weeks He's getting stuff done I'm getting stuff done

I was getting stuff done Then What happened Oh yeah You got a new addiction I succumbed You dove head first I've succumbed to my

My ultimate passion Which is wasting time Yeah I love I love city planning and there's a game called Cities Skylines. And I downloaded it yesterday. And I didn't have... This is the first thing I've ever downloaded on my computer.

I didn't have Steam. I had to get Steam. Yeah. So anyway, Pat moves in the house. I had to download MTGA Arena for the live stream. We're doing every Wednesday. Me and Pat, live stream. We're all types of fun guests.

That'll be a fun thing. See, I'm telling you, too. So yeah, so now I have this game called City Skyline. So yesterday, you know, 7 o'clock. Oh, got it up. I got it. Get it going. Brand new.

2 a.m. I say, oh, I should probably pack. Run down pack. Got to bed at 5. Because I said, hey, I can sleep on the plane tomorrow. Sleep on the plane. I'm sure I have to wake up at 9.30. Have seven hours on flights tomorrow.

sleep. Oh. Guess what I did on the plane? Played City Skyline. Made your city? Yes.

And watched indigenous films. Yeah. I watched a bunch of Indian movies today. It was crazy. Like short films? Well?

No, dude, Delta for some reason is riding, riding high for the wind talkers. So we got, I watched a war pony, was the name of one, which was a classic, like, gritty,

very, very bleak, of course. Anything based in the reservation is going to be tough. And this one was set in Ogalala, which is, who, yeah. Watch out.

We've been there, right? Oh, baby. Ogalala. Oklahoma? I know. Nebraska. Oh, that's right. We've gone through there.

And then I watched another one about a lady who was getting, she's pregnant, she was getting beaten by her boyfriend, she runs outside, and then it's 90 minutes of her trying to get checked into a halfway house by another lady, and they're both Native American. That was another laugh a minute. Delta. Meanwhile,

Some idiot over here put their sewage pump up river of their water pump. So a bunch of people got sick. I don't want to say who it was. Well, let's just say that old town we had to put in a mortuary. I had to put a crematorium into my nice little village because I killed a bunch of people with shit water. Now I want to start over? No, because I already somehow sunk about 12 hours of my life into this thing. It's insane.

I love city building. I didn't look at it much, but I never got into any of those other games. Oh, my God. This is perfect. Like Sims. Yeah, I never really played Sims. Or Civilization. I know a lot of people liked that.

Civ. Civilization was fun. I never played that either. I played a lot of risk on my phone. World domination. Civilization was a lot like fleshed out risk. Yeah, but in Civilization, you couldn't put a promenade in the show. shopping sector.

No, you'd play it for four hours and beat the game. Yeah. You didn't really have much say in matters. You were like, diplomacy, swords. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was the right amount to like, you'd get bored. It would curb the addiction.

Don't play it. It'll be a little, I'll give you guys updates on how things are going. How many mass shootings have you had? None, because the police department just moved in. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Now, if I get 12 more citizens. then you can have parks

I can have parks and that's where the games really begin is when Sam T can integrate all of the lovely parks I want to have a Japanese situation listen to this I'm flying from a connect in Salt Lake I'm flying down here

I get pumped up it's awesome sitting across the aisle from this lady who has this fucking tote bag that's from the goddamn kabuki theater that me and Emily fell asleep at in Tokyo whoa yeah so I'm sitting there and she has hand tattoos and is wearing a

bandana. She's probably like 45. I know. But yeah, she's like a cool, she's a sweet spot. She's a son of anarchy

type gal. And, like hand tattoos, big glasses, you know? Yeah. I bet she was a hoot. Yep.

She's some leopard print stuff at home. I bet she gave a lot of head at placebo shows. Whoa. Damn. exactly who she was. Yeah.

So I'm like, I want to say something about the Kabuki thing, but I've been gaming across from her for two hours, and I asked for more gummies. Yeah. So I don't want to bother her. But anyway, we're waiting for our bags that come out. And I say, you know, your tote bag, I fell asleep at a show there.

Because Kabuki's not for me. And she went, you fell asleep at a Kabuki show? and walked away. Whoa. Yeah, you didn't have to say you fell asleep. Well, I did. I thought I was being funny.

Like, I fell asleep in there. You know, I guess Kabuki's not for me. I'm trying to be self-effacing because I think she hates me. You fell asleep in a Kabuki show? Walked away. And she didn't walk far enough.

She went to wait for our baggage still. She called you chop. Well, she was fucking chopped too. Yeah. Yeah. I bet, uh, she had some LCD loads dropped on her sound system.

That, I mean, I just was trying to be mean and it didn't work. But that's how I feel about the matter. Yeah, what happened? Were you guys tired and it was long? Or was it just, it was boring and the show? Oh, dude, we were just exhausted.

I mean, it was like, we had jammed packed Tokyo in and we're having like, you know, just like ultimate thrill ride. And then it was the first time we like sat down in the daytime. And it was so quiet and like calm in the. there. Yeah. And there's just a lot of... A pan flute or whatever.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Every now and then a gong, Yokozuna's theme music. Yeah, exactly. And we were just in there, just... Out. Probably, I mean, if it was Singapore, we would have got caned for this behavior. Right. It was very rude.

We dishonored their... I don't want to say their only indigenous theater, but they're most famous. Yeah. Yeah. Whoops. Damn. Did they have to wake you up? They didn't have to, but they loved it.

Did you guys wake up on your own? Did you have to wake Emmy up to leave? Well, I'll tell you what. The gong didn't start by my head. When I fell asleep, that gong was on the other side of the stage. Also, my feet weren't bound. So it sounds like they had some fun. Man.

I was talking about being at Tauz Pueblo for Y2K. What did you guys do for? white UK. Got laid. Whoa. For real? I don't remember. I definitely wasn't freaked out.

I would think maybe drank at a friend's house. I don't remember. But I wasn't super scared. Say goodbye and au revoir to the tangled mess of cords in your bag. Keep all your devices powered

on the go with the Ridge Power Bank. I'll take it from here. I don't have the copy, but So shut up. I got my bag. I got this motherfucker. Let me see if I can read it. Let me tell if I can see how one with it have.

You can charge your phone right on top of it and it has a magnet and there's a little stand that pops out so you can charge right there on your tray table on the plane popped out. It's got the little prongs that pop off so you can also charge a USBC and a lightning cable while you're charging your phone on top of it. It's unstoppable, dude. Hell yeah. I rocked this thing for fucking five hours today and by the end of it, I still had 30,

5% battery left on the charger itself. Do you have it? Yeah. Nearby. Show it off. The Ridge Power Bank holds up to three full phone charges and powers your devices fast. Like you said, 5 and 1 power bank lets you charge anything you need at any time. MagSafe wireless charging, lightning, and USBC cables.

Ridge has got you covered. Too close. Way too close. Okay. No, you didn't know. Show it off for real. Available in Olive Green, Base Camp Orange. and Matt Black.

I went to high school with Matt Black. Sorry. What were you going to say, favorite skater? Ah, shit. Anyway, the Ridge Power Bank comes with free shipping and a 99-day risk-free trial. It's the last power bank you'll ever need. One thing to pack, five ways to power. You can find Ridge's Power Bank at Best Buy or Chubby Behemoth fans can get 10% off at Ridge.com

by using Code Chubby at checkout. Just head to Ridge.com. Use Code Chubby, and you're all set. after your purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them Chubby Behemoth sent you. I'm giving him his gifts this year. Nice. Yeah, good call.

I was at my grandma's house watching a weird... Weird science. No, me and my grandpa watched a movie and it really pissed him off. Showgirls? It was, no, it was Gene Hackman, I think, and he has an orange cat, and it, like, has no point. It's just about, like, this old man in his hat. It was called, like, art. in something?

I'm not sure. Art and Frank or art and... Your grandparents drugged you so you'd fall asleep and they could do it. No, my parents went to go like party their ass off in San Francisco. They wanted to welcome the apocalypse. Whoa. So my grandma and grandpa watched us and my grandpa like didn't do much with any of the grandkids. So it's like one of my few memories of doing something with that grandfather.

And he like, it came on and they like did a thing where they like announced the movie coming on next back when they'd do that where they'd like, coming up next, such and such with Gene Hackman directed by so-and-so. And my grandpa was like, I like Gene Hackman. And I was like, Gene Hackman rocks. And he was like nodded at me and just like left it on, turned up the volume. Yeah. And Gene Hackman has brought generations of men together.

It brought us together because at the end he was just like, we'll never get that fucking time back. And then my sister came down and was like, Grandma says the ball's about to drop in New York and he was like, oh, good. We can go watch something with a fucking ending. We went upstairs and he just like explained to my grandma how we had just gotten fucked downstairs.

Your grandpa liked to swear a lot. Oh, yeah. Oh, boy. I hope the computers take us all. Especially that Gene Hackman. A hardware store employee from Chicago from back then. Yeah, he loved swearing. Gene Hackman has one of the best line reads in the history of film,

Rail Tennen bombs. He's upset. he goes, all right, all right. He says all right twice. It's perfect. Dead. Dead and eaten by his cat. Yeah.

Eating by his own head. Jesus Christ. He was his own crang to death. Poor. Not far from here. New Mexico. Did you have something to do with that, Carlos? No.

You know what hasn't been working down here is calling it Jew Mexico? Jew York, 10 out of 10. Perfect. But Jew Mexico? It doesn't have the same ring to it. I tried that in Boston. Jew England kind of worked. Jew Orleans.

Whoa, hey, now we're talking. Oh, hey, sorry, Becker. What the hell are you doing? Are we good? Yeah, we're okay right now, but you're also probably out of frame. You're going for a walk? Start playing Siv. You're cold?

Yeah. All right. All right, well, just say that instead of being all coy. I thought it would be a clipback. Why don't you be the real McCoy and give us the truth? I'm doing my fan. I've got no way. It is satch.

Oh yeah, you got a bunch of clothes? Was that true? Yep. Yeah, the good people at Stone Day Pier in Albuquerque, who I met at Rogan's Club, and we smoked a bunch of rosen. They brought me a bunch of shirts and weed. Now, here's the thing. Just really wanted the wood.

weed. Yeah. You know? Every time. Yeah. Yeah. I don't mean. I clearly wear three things.

Nothing's making the rotation. It's a denim shirt. It's one of these pairs of pants. Stupid hat. Occasionally. Cool hat sometimes. Either way, I'm the bug man. But, yeah, I don't need the shirts, but they gave me a bunch of killer weed.

And that's exciting. Fuck, yeah. I'm not going to share it with any of you guys. You already shared with us. Fuck. Yep. You forgot because it's good weed. Dude, after the show, the second show, when you went outside, it was too much to have, like, it was like a flashback to a decade ago to have like, after the show, there's still dudes out front smoking weed.

We smoke with them. There's 18 people, but I can't do it anymore. I used to love it. But my first thought was, I don't want to get sick. And I don't want to. So I don't want to share whatever with all 22 of you. so I bailed. Yeah.

You guys thought I went home. I thought you just went, yeah. I went downstairs. Which is not an insane assumption that you would just walk back to the hotel. No. But it's like, hey, walked back to hotel. I would have, I would have said something if I had left. And I didn't want to go.

You just went inside. No, if I would have left. I didn't leave. I went downstairs. I thought we were going back in there. No. To dick around a little bit. But no.

But yeah, I was like, that's, that was a funny memory, core memory of just like, like after the show everybody sticks around a little bit. I mean, not a little bit, lurking until the sun came up. Just hoping someone's like, hey, I got three beers back at my house. Come on, eight guys. Well, yeah, you, yeah, there were different times when we would not want to go home. And that's also an idea. Home was just, yeah, for later.

Home was where the furious woman was. Right. So you wanted to, yeah, see what you could get into. don't let the party die don't let the party die that Tim Robbins yeah and I also did

stinky so we're just we're just taking his stuff I mean that's a cool pod we can just do the hits from are you gaming right no one games unless I'm gaming this light was a great idea

yeah yeah it hurts to look over there it does hurt to look but it's helping a lot is it yeah you gotta have light on my lips have been chaps for about six hours.

Yeah, mine are chapped today. Let's go to Burkinos, man. Get some guanto. We gotta go get something. What's guanto? I don't know, man. Nothing. Carlos, can you translate that nonsense?

May up. I'm leaning in, dude, man. Oh, yeah. Was it true that did you were able to crack the woman that was right up front in the late show to the right? Oh, a lesbian, Latina? Maybe. I don't know.

She wasn't going down on a woman when I was up there. Well, she was either a lesbian Latina or a man. Or wearing a hat. Or a modern man. Or just a gal that could whoop both of our asses, but it doesn't mean that she's gay. I think if that lady had a dick by her face, she would take it off and hit you over the head with it. She'd say, you so stupid. Why are you being foolish?

Yeah, she loved me. Okay. Yeah. And Josh, the host was like, yeah, yeah, no, she didn't smile at all. And I was like, the woman who was a problem because she was so into the show. What are you talking about? She was saving it for you. Oh, I don't know, dude.

But she was like, bowed, bowed it. I would say shit. And she'd be like, oh. Yeah. Like, she loved it. I said the thing about the auto blow. And she's like, I have one. And that's when I was like, fuck, are you a trans man?

What's going on over here? And I just plowed through. Yeah, you didn't explore. No, I literally just went, take a load off your chin. Yeah, Josh Fournier, who lives down here, very funny, said that he, that he, she like had not cracked a smile. And that that would have been for Josh, Zach, the guest set, me. I, or no, she showed up during my set. So she didn't laugh at me or like the beginning of you.

Anyway. We're talking. I'm glad you got her. I'm glad you got her. And then she's right here. In the aisle. Yeah. She was Druski's type.

She's like manspreading. Yeah, yeah. Man's explaining my jokes. Yeah. She was a homie's figurine. She'd be a problem at a family party, you know? She'd like to get down. She was like a, she had to be shushed for being so into the show.

For smiling too loud. Yeah, it's like we had different realities. Well, yeah, I figure she showed up when I'm up there. Who's this fucker? She's late. For some reason, maybe she's, you know, had to deal with some bullshit, so she's annoyed. I didn't see her, like, stone, like giving me the evil eye. But, yeah, Forne was obsessed.

And also, I think there was, like, a light on her. So it was just perfect that she shows up late, didn't enjoy herself. But I didn't see what she was up to. And that table reacted when I said, wide world. So I would imagine, yeah. You want to hear some dumb Albuquerque shit that Carlos said earlier? Yeah, yeah. Carlos, come over here.

Tell us that shit you said about if someone's going to exit a vehicle. Oh, about being down? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's just like a known thing that I grew up with is when you get out of a vehicle, you ask the other person, are you getting down? Why wouldn't they get out of the car in the first place, though? I don't know. It's just, you're just asking.

So you get out and you're expecting them to get out. and then you say, are you getting down? That's even more insane than the way I understood it. Well, I guess it's... Albuquerque slang has an element of not making sense in it. Oh, yeah, totally. Yeah. It's like the oldest part of America.

Of course, your language has iterated upon itself. Yeah, I don't know where that comes from, but it's just a thing where a lot of people... I've said it in other occasions in other parts of the U.S., and people are like just look at me like I'm... From Albuquerque. Yeah. Yeah.

Simple. Well, get down doesn't make any sense to me. It's like getting down, getting that. I don't know. It's interesting. It's interesting little bit of slang. It's just like my parents said it.

Everybody says it. Yeah. Right. And I also like that you call. They say it all right. Yeah. I think they can. And it's like,

I don't think that's really cool. No, I'm kidding. Well, you're saying it's weird that they say down instead of out. Are you getting out of the car? No. No.

No. No. So why are they saying anything? getting down. First of all, are you going to get out of the car? I thought it was more of a matter of when Carlos and Ray go to the gas station or something. What?

What's going on? He's fucking with me. Great stuff. Yeah. And he's going to run in to get, uh, you know, a Gatorade and, hey, are you going to come in? Or do you want to be? Maybe it's, are you going to get down? You're going to get out.

Yeah. Down and out. But Carlos calls Albuquerquee town, which I like, because my grandma did that. I said that on stage too. I was like my grandma would call Albuquerque town, but she also called Santa Fe and Raton and Tiles Town, so I never had any idea what she was talking about. It's a universal experience here in Albuquerque.

One of the slept-on places, a heavy-duty place. It's very pretty down here. It's beautiful. The people until midnight are some of the chillest, coolest, funnest, calmest people. And then when that moon comes out, boy, howdy. Los Lobos of Albuquerque. Yeah.

Head on a swivel. Yeah, you have a couple fucking Michelotas. You feel like, you know, getting down. Going down, going out. Well, and what's weird is laying down. In Detroit, there's dangerous parts that you don't go to after dark because they're in the middle of nowhere.

Central Ave is one of the scariest places in modern America, and that's where all the action is on the weekends. Hey, Sam. Hey, Lund. I'm feeling a little chubes. Well, I got some shorts that are going to make you feel all right, because chubbies is here to make every day feel like vacation. Nice.

That's right. And, well, you know what? I'm in Acapulco right now up top here. Yeah. I'm in Thailand and it's none of your business. I'm there all by myself for six weeks. Nobody knows. Yeah.

And guess what? I'm wearing nothing but chubbies. Everybody thinks you're sick, but you're having the time of your life. Never felt more alive. I'm letting the rickshaw drivers sit in the back. Chubby's original shorts are back. Built with quick drawing, anti-microbial fabric. They'll make that tie heat nothing but fun.

They're wrinkle resistant and insanely comfortable. And if you spill some tomium soup on them, don't worry. It'll splash right off. Designed for days at the beach and at the brothel. No. And on the couch, Chubby shorts are a great addition to your wardrobe. What do I have to say about chubbies? Everything.

Their pants are badass. They have cool zippers in there that keeps your stuff hidden. I really, really, really enjoy that fucking flannel that I didn't get my hands on ever. It's pretty cool. Yeah, we have very soft. The shorts are barren on the best. I like their 5 inch. I like the ones that have the belt loop on them.

Those are the best shorts in the business. These Sky Comfort Hoodies. I'm a big fan of this hoodie. Oh, look at you. Company man. Yeah. Nice. I didn't get the, yeah.

Hey, Chubbies, you have my address. Foxwood's Hills. Yeah. You'll be comfy and look great all year long, man, in their stuff. Polos, hoodies, jackets, stretch pants. I love the stretch pants. It's a who cares for sure. No matter what, you're going to look like a baller.

You're not going to look chopped at all. You know what's cool about their stretch pants to is you don't have to wear them up over your gut. The way that they cut them, like they're 30. I'm like a 42-30. I guess 40, 30 now. And they're like a double X-L situation, but the pants you don't have to pull up over your belly. They fit really well around your waist if you're a fat guy.

Yeah. Anyway, I am. They co-lap with the NFL and Team USA. Pick up a shirt for the big gamer, a hoodie for the Winter Olympics. For a limited time, Chubby is giving Chubby Behemoth fans 20% off with the promo code Chubby at chubbyshorts.com. That's 20% off your order with code Chubby, C-H-U-B-B-Y. give your thighs of the VIP treatment they deserve with Chubbies.

Make sure to support the show and tell them Chubby Behemia sent you to Chubbies. Chubbies, Chubbies. I was going to do that too. Chubby, chubby, chubbies, chubbies. Yeah, a lot of... It's just a bizarre. A lot of driving around, seeing who's doing what. And then, yeah, just kind of hoping for anything

out of the boring routine of driving around and going home. But we never chill in the weird, sketchy parts of town, is what I'm saying, typically when we go somewhere. But back in the day, when we... to do shows it like Blackburn, stay at Mike Longs. We were on Central between gold and whatever all fucking night long. Yeah. Being wasted.

Being young. Blowing weed smoke. Like, we're lucky we didn't get in trouble. You told that the-beat-up. The story of you got a fucking problem. Yeah, yeah. I was here late at night. I opened with it, too.

And of all of the people to say that to, you were so big. You're so imposing. Yeah, yeah. But they didn't, that person didn't give a fuck. They were by themselves. I'm also guess what. I'm also guess what I mean. Yeah.

I'm a, that was me and you. Happy go lucky guy. That dude didn't care that we were both coming at him. That guy took that bus from prison. Like he took the 15 from Supermax and got off and saw two chumbo-wumboes and were like,

guess what? Yeah, we were dicking around. What? What? What, mister? What do you want? You want a high five? You got a lollipop for me?

God, and I thought, I thought maybe. Maybe he was not going to let it go. Yeah. Well, was going to just turn around and follow us and then like bonk us, bonk our heads together. Just throw us on top of the bus.

You're right up there. Pick up the bus. Hit us with it. Guess what? You're a bus. He was huge. Yeah. He could have had us.

He was bigger than you. At the same time. His dick could have filled both of it once. He could have kinked it, shoved in the lump, and then got you with the tip on the side. God. Yeah, man.

That sucks. I can't believe he did that. People do that. I forgot that he did all that. Bummer. Yeah, that was a joke of mine for a while. You were so unaware of what he meant with his guess what. I couldn't believe how.

I think you weren't paying attention. We were stoned and you were thinking about whatever hot dog we were going to eat. We were going to Steve's. And I was like, dude. Dude, that was not a how do you, how do. Yeah. You were like, you were like, pissed. Afterward.

Well, I thought you got, I thought you were going to get us killed. I thought he was going to smash us into one person. I had no words. I was going to be your crang. Just my head's right there. I'm like, this sucks. Hey, Dick. Now great, now I'm wearing you like a hat.

Fantastic. I wanted to be in your butt today. I wanted my head in your cheeks. This is exactly what I wanted. Guess what? This sucks, Mr. Guess what? Somebody does care.

Me. Who cares? This is not a who cares type of deal. I don't care about Sam Talent. That's what you would say. Oh, that's funny to hear. It kind of hurt. No, because I was also yelling.

You're obsessed with me. You love me. You texted me. I love you all the time. We're always texting. Sophie has hit. She could be one of the best ever to you're obsessed with me.

I said hello twice. I live next door. You're obsessed. I made eye contact. You're going over to Sophie. Hey, I am Sam's friend. Hey, hey, Mrs. Talent. Sorry, Miss Talent.

I hope. Me saying all that? Being upset. You're like Eddie Haskell. She was right. A lot of times I was staring over there through the window. And she would catch me and I wouldn't like hide or anything. I would just feel like.

Yeah. Just your arm starts moving underneath. the frame. No, no. You're pounding. No, no. And then Mel comes into frame and he's also pounding, staring back at you. And Sophie's stoked.

Sophie just turns into pure light. It was weird that the late show was not rowdier. Didn't you think, or did they get rowdy for you? Dude, I... Well, last night... Get them. After tucking in Emily, I see an email. from my agent's assistant being like, hey, hyenas wants 100 tickets per show, like to give away

to paper it. So I'm like, fantastic, go crazy. So I was worried that all those rooms were papered, but Nate said they only gave away like 60 tickets total for both shows. So that was a relief. Because I walked in there and I was like, it's sold out both shows. This is all papered. This is going to suck.

Yeah. But no, they only gave away 20 for the first show. I just I just thought they would be potentially chatty. But especially it's a very full room. Right, right. Hell. Free tickets so you drink more. Don't care.

Go a little crazier. Who care? I don't care about Sam Talent. I just had to show up in the fucking reflexology center. Yeah, dude. What the hell? And they're like selling candles upstairs or something? Oh, yeah.

It's a song separate. It's a matcha coffee place that smells like a, cold stone creamery. Is anyone hungry anymore? Yeah. You are right now. Yeah. Lund? Yeah. I didn't really eat today. I had a

burrito. Crales wants to get down. Hienas and it wasn't, it was just okay. Waffle House. The guys from Dallas Josh and Zach said they went to Ohos Locos and it's like Mexican

style hooters, which I did not know about. Is that been? Is it open? I'll bet it's not open now. You love those kind of girls, Lund. That's like your whole thing. Crazy eyes? You said that early.

Having them Latinas? Latina? Historically, you have noticed. When and where? Hold on. I'm not casting aspersions. You saw Chi Chi-Chi's Christ. Where?

In a pancake? Your mom made? Come on, folks. I didn't say nothing. Oh, sure. No. Lund would never objectify a co-worker. But no, I'm not besmirching.

You have noticed some big pairs on some ladies that I might have missed. Because they're Latina like you? Because they look like my aunt Charlotte. You're face blind to them. They're all purple blobs. I didn't get it. I was like, you don't appreciate a beautiful woman of any color? What, like the 35-year-old woman with glasses?

You mean Aunt Charlotte? Okay. Yeah. That's, well, yeah, let's... The whole Mormon side of my Mexican family that's like super weird. And, uh, yeah. I really am kind of blind to, uh, to them sometimes.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, I will... Because I remember the lady who wouldn't let me have an Arnold Palmer. God. Yeah. What a terrible religion.

I could have, I could have just black tea if I wanted. And that was already bad enough. Mixing them? Yeah, mixing them together. It's too decade. It was fucking weird is what it was. And I was like, this party sucks.

Alchemy. Yeah. The witchcraft. Oh, dude, you met him at, you met him at my dad's 70th birthday party. Those super old Mexican ladies. They were like twins. Those ladies were Mormons?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa. I smoked weed with them. No, you smoked weed with their son, the Jack Mormon who teaches art at the kid school in Denver. Okay. Yeah. So he was their kid and he got out and was like,

I don't practice Santorea. Arnold Palmer's for everybody. This is definitely a who cares type of thing. Yeah. Damn. Yeah, you got a good eye. I'm very good at spotting them on black women. My God, I, I, I, I, there was so much BET on cut as a youth, you know, like BT uncut. I really got...

Lorenzo's oil. I got out of the car. Lorenzo's oil had a crazy sex scene, I believe. Oh, dude. Tip drill was just like up against the porno. Yeah, for sure. You know what I'm talking about?

Whoa. Hold on. No, I just haven't thought about it forever, but my God. Yeah, that was just... That was cool. Me recently is that girl in the Limpisket music video,

like the skater girl, who flashes her sports bra Nice, I got you Oh, dude Like dressed up like Fred Durst Yeah, dressed Is Fred Durst? Yeah,

and I remember Frank and off I got it's a kid Yeah You had the internet Like you weren't You wanted for nothing What, you think I ran to the computer

Every time I got hard? No, I would wait 80 pounds Going up those stairs Yeah, no, it's just I guess also Also, it's not even like it's not like you need the best stuff when you're young.

It's whatever. Yeah, it's whatever. No, dude, it's literally like, whoa, this is on PBS at 1am on their weird music thing. Roll and roll. Like, I probably came before the song was over. Oh, yeah, PBS used to play that weird alt music thing in the middle of the night. Dude, that's the first place I ever saw. Eminem was on there.

I think that's the first place I saw it from the crypt was on there. I remember that. Marilyn Manson, I think that's the first time. I saw Maryland Manson. Yes, for sure. Spacehog. Not the box, right? Dude.

Could you request them? No, dude. It was just like PBS showing like, it was like a college radio station, but on PBS. Yeah. It was on like 1 a.m. sometimes. And they put a weird blue tint on all the videos. And that was their aesthetic. Was there like, yeah, it was so.

It was very, it was very MTV, but on PBS. Man. It was sick. Wow. I hadn't thought about that. Oh, dude. What were you crank in a time? I just, I just,

remember, like, it was weird because we'd be like 13 years old and smoking weed giggling and watching some dumb thing on monkeys. And then all of a sudden it would be. Real big fish. Music none of us had heard that was all kind of good. Cool. It was all cool music, dude. Yeah.

And that it stuck out that they did a weird thing where they died it all blue because then some of those songs would blow up and we'd see them on MTV either. So like that was, I had VH1. Yeah. What do you mean? What do you mean? What do I mean? How did you have one and not the other?

We didn't, we had, so we had like a weird rural cable situation where you got whatever channels were being carried in that district that like month or quarter. So sometimes we would have like, we would have, it wasn't turnic classic music, it was the movie channel. Yeah. And there was nudity on there. Every now and then we'd have showtime. We would have Disney channel every now and then. We'd have like animal planet every now and then, but we always had VH1.

So we'd get glimpses of like MTV when it came through. but man we had VH1 dude there was a time of my life when I thought like 10,000 maniacs was the shit yeah you were jacking it to Amy Grand yeah Lisa Loeb oh my god Toad

What's that song Is a Y And standing on the wire And days go by So far cry to hide Into the fire Remember that?

Oh, Johnny came home Yeah, Johnny came home. Dude, Johnny came home? Yeah. You know what I'm talking about, Carlos. That was your graduation song. Dude, that song was huge, bro. Who was that?

In my house. Damn. I don't think I can remember who did that. I remember my dad being like Natalie Merschen is not cool. say it. You gotta pump the break. Natalie and Bruglio, she's all right.

I could see that being very important to Dave, that you understood that this is bullshit. Yeah, like, dude, this, we have VH1, I'm sorry. Yeah. Wow. But VH1 was sick because it had,

I love the 90s, I love the 80s, I love the 70s, and it had all the out behind the music. So when I went to improv, level one, when I was 18, there was all these old people,

and I was making jokes about, like, Leif Garrett. They were like, whoa. Dr. Woo. They also had like that Galaughanakis talk show that he had for a brief minute. It wasn't even good.

No. I was a kid that was perfect for it. Yep. Yeah, that was like try hard Gallifanacus. And I like try hard. I like trying hard and sincerity. But he was like trying so hard to be weird. Before he was like, before he figured out how to do between two ferns.

Yeah, before he was comfortable doing it in front of a camera. It was like Tom Green ask honestly. Yeah. It was like Conan meets Tom Green with a very snide snark. to it that I found unpleasant. As a 12 year old or whatever. As a little cunt. As a little

Lord Fauntleroy. Is that right? What is that like a bowl cut or a? Lord Fauntleroy. Is that a haircut? Or that's the kind of hair. Marquod. Yeah.

Font LaRoy was a font laur. Like a. Or long? But it was like long. Like a Prince Charming? I think it's the weird, tilted... The hat.

The tilting... It's the omish. It's the tilted bolt cut. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Nope, I didn't have a bolt cut. I just had penis head. My hair grew that way.

Where are we out on this, Becker? We're about telling where you're going to be. Well, we'll do that with the plugs. Thank you guys so much for listening. We love you. Goodbye.