Chubby Behemoth - How Goes It Ham-Unit?

Episode Date: February 2, 2025

SPONSOR: MUD WTR - Support the show and get 43% off your MUD WTR order, plus free shipping and a rechargeable frother with code CHUBBY at https://www.mudwtr.com   BONUS EPISODES: https://www.Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth   This week Sam opens with a new song. Nathan self medicated in the worst way, had non-consensual chili, and has never been constipated . Sam is stoked about Ooze-A-Palooza, is sure the new google chip will butt fuck him, and admits Pissed Jeans made him want a motorcycle. His chombos were heavy. You can taste the grapes in the soil.   Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   Mutiny Coffee: [e-mail]

And I'm muting all my notifications. Don't try and call, don't go on AIM, don't look for me at the TV store. I won't be a blockbuster either. I'm just gonna go to Pizza Hut and enjoy the lunch buffet. It's the only place where they still know my name. Why don't we go to the roller rink and skate around and play metal slug? Then maybe we can rent a movie and go he's working overnight at fuck what's the name of that store oh shit it was oh anyway what was it it was like a it was like a big box store there was like

planet electronics or like space electricity store. It was it was everywhere, not circuit city. No, it was like a circuit city situation was like a best buy, but it had like an outer space theme and everyone in there had collarless shirts on and they'd come up and be like beep bar. The laser disks are over here shit. I don't know if we had one of those shit. You were really cooking. I was like into it. Yeah. Well, is this off of Cheshire cat? It was a lag wagon song.

Good. Yeah. Canaan's gonna play at his wedding. I don't know if you noticed, but I didn't immediately try to get in there and take it from you. I I was a bit like, are we recording? Oh, because I was waiting for you to be like, okay, that's stupid. We get it. You like to sing. No, no. So this is an interesting situation. I'm going to lay out what's going on and you tell me if I'm wrong. You're a bit, you're a little bit sluggish, woke up and you're also sick. A little slug like metal sluggish

metal slug is what they call my robot penis So you're yeah, you're a little bit sick because your brother-in-law gotcha no He had a bug from being at a convention for about a I had a bunch of people coughing and sneezing on my flight I've had a bunch of people coughing and sneezing on my flight. I've had a cold sore Busting out since like Tuesday, so I had something so you're not hitting my weed pen. Yeah. Yeah, that's really nice of you Thank you. You could use this one. That's almost dead. No, okay, very good carry on So yeah feeling a little off slept well last night, but

Still felt pretty tired even though we didn't walk around too much. We didn't do shit really two hot dogs should help Yeah, I mean you self-medicated in the worst way Nathan's famous hot dogs you're like, that's my name So surely this will be palliative So yes, we are here and you're a little bit under the weather I of course chipper singing my songs very vocal in the morning. Technically, we're all under the weather. You know what I mean? It's up there in the sky. Yeah. Weather's a phenomenon that is the roof of of our our house that God built us.

And then also, it's strange to be in Las Vegas without the masculine male imperative of go gamble, drink, fuck. Like we're just like two slugs in here. Well, it is funny. Cause like, even though I long ago might've felt weird about going to Vegas and not partying. When we go places, I know I don't want to spend a bunch of time, energy, money, walking around, getting lifts,

doing things. You have to be, you have to conserve your energy. If if you don't feel like shit you don't want to like get drained all day and then like have do okay on stage you want to bring it yeah so I think it's correct for us to mostly lay low do the pod eat lunch we have people are like what do you do on the road and it's like we're in the dojo we're doing sit-ups chin-ups we're going, we're going to have a new routine. We're grilling eel. We're going to have to try to combat the rapid skin accumulation with some leg lifts and some crunches and whatnot. I'm just

getting a big pair of garden sheers. I'm saying goodbye. Jesus, I'm going to bleed out on stage and you saw on or something wet vac. Oh yeah, suck it off to the side and then vacuum seal it. So you just have like a gut ponytail. It's literally a love handle and then Emily holds onto it as she pounds away at my butt. You know, you know what though I'm kidding. My wife doesn't bang me in the ass, but you know what's about to get us real bad last night we have a little Steve Steve Jobs Brent Gill, little Stevie Jobs, he wears the bandana. Steve Jobbers.

Hey Don, we gotta work on AI. Hey Don, me and the boys were talking. Quantum mechanics. Hey Don. It's the future I know you told me to whack Polly the Greek this weekend But I gotta go play with the boss and I know you're the boss in the crime underworld of

mafioso living But I gotta go play the tambourine in Jersey City. Yeah With Springsteen and the gang. I got to occasionally touch a keyboard and then clap for three and a half hours. I gotta go give a wet kiss to the boss after every couple of songs. I gotta say hey Bruce you still got it Bruce. He does too I think. Of course he does he's the absolute man. He doesn't get panned the way some... Rolling Stones too are loving them on tour. They're bringing it They're getting pumped full of all kinds of a dream to grow home

Yeah, dude, they got baby blood bags hanging from the ceiling like salami's and Rome. That's right. Yeah, it's fucked But yeah Brent Gil Gil Gil a month tech Tech nerd. Yeah, he worked at Apple for two years and he won't shut up That means he's he's mostly ones and zeros. He's become pure light and he's traveling to the stratosphere just tipping people off onto the coming doom of quantum mechanics. He only has 300 more payments on his mech suit. Yeah, exactly. He's paying it off very slowly. He's gonna be unstoppable. So he's here. He's popping

in. He does. He picks us up in a fucking Mustang convertible that we barely fit in somehow. He's he's not gonna he's gonna have to buy it or get the seats replaced because we've been eating chili dogs. So yeah, we roll over. We do our show at wise guys. Thank you for coming out to wise guys last night, everyone. I must say, shows I will not remember. They were fine. It's tough to compete here in Las Vegas. I mean, we're in town square,

which is a newly built pedestrian mall. And if I know one thing about people in Vegas, is they love going to pedestrian malls and shopping for house goods. It's all they know is just going somewhere and then wandering in and out of like seven stores. They really kind of maybe need something from one of them or two of them. Even not really anything. Not really. Yeah. They just want to get out of the house. Just go do something. If it's air conditioned, they'll go inside. There's a dinosaur like exhibit across the street, literally across the street from us. There's a place that I'm

eager to get into. Who's a Palooza, which is a slime based entertainment center. I heard after 10, it's all you can eat. So you said last night that at the dinosaur museum after 10 the dinosaurs are all topless Yeah, that was very funny. Yeah the first show he wrecks little arms little tits Big old thick thighs on that brontosaurus though. It's tits are fucking dragging on the ground. They're so big. Mm-hmm. Yeah Cavemen that was the first paintings. They did was between the breasts of a brontosaurus There's something down there that I like and I'm not saying I want to fuck that thing. There's something going on underneath that is pleasurable to my eye, to my mind's eye. It would have been a much cooler, for the sake of rock and

roll album covers, if dinosaurs and man actually existed at the same time. That pisses me off. I feel like when I was a kid, it was just like oh yeah, you know, mankind, two hundred years, the first car was a stegosaurus and they drove it to the work. That's flintstones flintstones. I thought I do yeah flintstones was a sigh opt to make us less whimsical. Yeah, it sucks man. I mean why didn't man? If God is real and there's a design for this, you don't put a dude with like fucking huge hair and a lady with the swing and lowest breast pre bra all pub on the back of a goddamn dino. It sucks. Like we should have known this whole thing was busted as soon as we fucking figured that out. That's when I quit voting. we fucking figure that out. That's when I quit voting. All right. So Brent Gil told us last night about Google's new Willow Quantum computer computing chip and how

it is literally a thousand, not even a hundred thousand times quicker, stronger, twenty seven zero, septillion, septillion, twenty septillion times faster computing than anything that's come before our current computers could do what this ship does in twenty seven with or sorry, twenty seven zeros worth of time. It would take yeah. Obviously we really locked on to what he was talking about. Well, I Yeah, obviously we really locked on to what he was talking about. Well, I I don't. I think part of the trouble with it is the scope is crazy, so and also

the guy telling us looks like a baby who has a little more on the thirty five year old baby who's driving a mustang around because he thinks it's legitimately cool, which it is convertible mustang on the strip. Come on, not bad. What am I dead? There's worse thing. If for sure I was about to like rag on it. I'm like no, that is definitively a cool thing to do for speed. Yeah, everybody's turning their heads going to woe bow. Yeah, just red gilded by a bunch of people go. Who's that like this and then they go Who's that like this and then they go throw up. Well, they go like that so

that they can't see well. They're take they're taking their glasses off, so it's more of a yeah. They inch them down and like okay now it's just like a fast car blur. It's like an eggs driving a car. That's fun. So gills in here telling us about this fucking chip man, it's going to change the world and how the magazine bends in a two sides. Me could end the world. He's talking about how you know the next thirty years are going to be the most exciting time to be alive. How

his grandfather was born in nineteen twenty and experienced the birth of the automobile and then he also said the stock market and I was like that that was that's been around for a while, but still Brent. I like how fired up you are, but all I can fucking think is I can't understand a word. He says all I know is the short version is you you you had him as you had a takeaway. Yeah, the short version is I'm going to get but fucked somehow. This whole thing is out to but fuck me. I am not pleased at everyone's going to just be like. Oh, this is cool man. Look, you can be in Dubai in ten seconds and it's like okay, but let's break it down to its core

elements. Wait, I'm getting but fucked. I don't know. He didn't say anything about it making planes fast. He took a magazine and he bent it in half and he said, look, they're kissing and I was like, okay, so that's time travel. And he's like, pretty much, I don't know. I do know that I'm about to get butt fucked by this thing. Hey, we made a little chip and what's it do? We spent two trillion dollars on this ship. It really does two things. It bends you over. Yeah. It fucks your box. Your butt. Google put out a video that's 15 minutes long explaining it and it's like so Google made a video saying hey we made this

thing that's going to butt fuck Sam talent. Save your money Google. I know you have to say anything. It's going to be terrible for me. Yeah. And you you don't think you're going to be unfucked in your butt and I live in a hole, so I think I'll be okay yeah they kind of recession proof but fuck proof when you guys started talking about crypto and he said it can hack all the letters it could well wasn't he saying it could make them obsolete by doing the work that those crypto specific cryptos are doing so much faster than then nobody wants the crypto. I don't know. I think he said that he can they can crack everyone's ledger keys and thereby take

money from you. If you own crypto holdings, so Elon Musk is about to buy the willow technology right and fuck everybody's butt with it, and he specifically mine. He's gonna go full Lex Luther. Yeah Somehow in Lex Luger. I mean the torture rack getting butt fuck Suck man. I don't know how we're under playing just the ramifications of this thing being specific to my butt being fucked That's all I'm that's all I got It holds it holds the secrets of the universe. Past, present and future. It's essentially God in a microchip. And its first words are going to be, where is Sam Danlis? I got to fuck its butt. He calls me an it. And it's like, he said that Google

proved like parallel realities. So it means in one of these realities I'm going on butt-fucked but in all the rest of them I'm getting butt-fucked or this is the only reality where this thing butt fucks me and every other one all the same talents are out there with their this fucking sanctity of their holes still intact getting paid yeah they're getting paid for doing the butt-fucking they're gonna work in some kind of like weird horrific human slaughterhouse If you really think about it if they wet their job is paid to butt fuck people yuck This one's bad for the algorithm

anyway Hey, maybe we maybe do me the favor if you're gonna butt fuck me Maybe fix it so YouTube doesn't get mad when I talk about it Yeah, where you help someone on your way to Island just paving the streets of your glory with my butt getting fucked Anyway, so yeah, that's all I took from that and I texted Ryan Janssen cock my scientist very late in the night And he said, Oh. He was up and at him.

Yeah. He was playing drums on his fucking bed. Yeah, he went from being asleep to he just sat up like a vampire, and then a little weird, like kind of bluish, reddish lens flipped over his eye, and then a helmet drops, and his hands pop up, and they're in some kind of split keyboard.

Just always ready at my Beckham call. I don't know what the fuck goes on in his weird little apartment. There's a, there's a specific text, text message ding that lets him know that it's from you and his eyes shoot open and then he hits a button on his headboard and then a claw picks him up and puts him into his Professor X chair. Yeah. Takes him to Cerebro.

Computer. Engage the mainframe. You hear him in your ear because of Cerebro and you're a mutant so he can just talk straight to you Sam. He has Patrick Stewart's voice Sam. Yeah, he talks like Janssen cocks Sam. What's dangling sugar? What's up Lex chugr? He talks. You think I talk insane? I've heard it's not. I think you influence each other much like we've influenced each other. But I talked to other living human

beings. He talks to me and Mel and he likes his lover. It's just this echo chamber of yeah you got a game game. If you want to flim flam it's like dude you're an edge. You've educated the school of minds. You know how like fucking binary code is written. I guess I do too. Anyway you don't. What do you mean. Once and zeros and you think that's it. It's pretty much the class. You got a one or zero one zero. What's up one zero one. Not too bad. I'm just dangling dangling over here how goes it ham unit I get from him or not so you had how did I was gonna ask how what he said about it oh what does he know about it? Oh, yeah

I think he just kind of said the other world is wide open. It could go a lot of different ways bro honcho. I Said hey, what's the deal with Willow the supercomputer? This is at 1 45 a.m. My time our 45 his time He said pretty wild quantum supercomputer. He said, pretty wild quantum super computer. He answered at 146, by the way. I don't put too much weight in their claims of the parallel universe computations. I said, sounds like it's going to butt fuck me. He said, you know it brother. Can I call you tomorrow? A.M. I am laying in bed and my chombos are heavy. I will blab for hours about this shit. It's the raddest donk. She's you weren't lying. That proves exactly what you said. What do I say? My those are heavy, which I think means I live in this. Yeah, we speak

Janssen guy. Get Janssen. Yeah. So anyway, awesome So anyway, he'll report back. He'll report back. He didn't call you though. No, because his trombos were heavy. I was supposed to call him in the morning. You were supposed to call him. Yeah, I'm not gonna call him. Okay. I get it. I got the gist. I could talk to him for an hour just to hear four words. You're getting buttfucked. four words, you're getting you understand. Yeah, I will see in and Brent was saying how it's weird that it isn't being talked about much. Yeah, it came out in December of twenty twenty four. It's right. So it's been a big sleep and human development ever. Probably it's been like a full month and you don't all the nerds are talking

about it. It's like it could probably fix all the nerds are talking about it looks like it could probably fix all the world's problems and nobody wants that nobody wants that because it doesn't make any money happiness don't make money complacency do remember that young hustlers when you're out there trying to get your tangs ready let them know Sam T told you to knowledge Sam T told you to knowledge. That was Detroit talk. Yeah yeah. Oh what was I gonna say? No it was I last night you went to bed you came up here went to bed after our big shows I'm out on the floor of the Luxor. It's interesting because much like the ones in Egypt also built by aliens. Hello. So how many how many times that joke been

told? I can't be the only one to crack that. 20 subtillion times. Probably yeah. Hey Willow, get to work. Write a more perfect Egypt Luxor comparison joke. But yeah so you go to bed you come up me. Much like the real pyramids, there's a dead 14 year old kid buried underneath here. Oh, 100%. I mean, the elevator smells like a fluvium. It's like the black bile pit underneath a pig farm in there every time we go in.

It'd be cool if the top of the Luxor, not this weekend, sometime in the, you know, a couple months from now, top of the Luxor just not this weekend. Sometime in the, you know, a couple of months from now, top of the Luxor just starts to shake and then the light at the top just explodes because the sewer main finally has had enough and it just shoots a geyser of shit like his vomit oil. Yep. Yup. Oil, Derek talks noxious gases blasted up into the sky yeah into the stratosphere and on top of the stratosphere and then it's just raining blood and shit yeah and they man all over jealous it's like that was my thing you said that people you were they were worried because we can't open the windows when I came into this

room it was it was muggy yeah it was a it was like the canopy layer of a rainforest and which I don't understand Well, it was you in here breathing through your mouth and masturbating into your egg 71 degrees on the thermostat Yeah the guy the you know maintenance had to come and unclog the sink and shower drain not because of me come on man it wasn't me it was on camera. Soon as I got here, those things were fucked and I think he did enough like blasted both with enough hot water that it really

changed how it felt in here because I wasn't sitting in here like this is great. We came back in and I was like what the fuck you were. I'm sure scared like oh good land has changed. You thought I had this set at eighty eighty one. Yeah, it was like you're trying to keep a grandma alive. It was bad. The son is closed, so I had to make it in here. Yeah, you had the shower blasting the heats crank to ninety nine. You're sweating in my bed because that's the sauna bed. Yeah, this is the cool off bed. Yeah, I get it

Full of ice packs. What were you gonna say? Oh just you were like, yeah People not being able to fucking kill themselves They'd rock the windows and it's like you can't kill yourself by jumping out a window at the Luxor You can just have a fun sled ride. They don't want they they don't know how they can charge people for that Right or else you could do it. I know how they do that. They take a chip. They put it in your butt when you check in every time they slide down. It scans you. It's fifty bucks per floor. These these two waters fifteen plus change. Yeah, I mean how about old really quick about two or

sorry for chili cheese dogs. Yeah, two of them against the wishes of the customer. Yeah, you just want to consensual chili. I just wanted cheese and onions. Yeah, you were trying to help the guys. The guys slaving back there. It's hard to listen to two people say slightly different things yeah without getting confused. Well, he was busy repeating french rise. Oh yeah, right. The french. We gotta move these fries. You want french fries? No thanks bro. No, no. But yeah, 36 bucks. Four times a markup. That should be a ten dollar meal. Annoying. 36. Am I gonna tip on that? No. Does that make me

an enemy of the working man? No. It makes me a defender of anti capitalism. To Starbucks, coffee's $22. Yeah, it sucks. I put 20 bucks in that Buffalo machine. I literally stepped outside this room and it was a $120 tax. Okay, you want to go outside? 120 bucks. Up front or you want to pay it in increments throughout your day I lost 200 bucks last night when me and Polk and old baby head were down there

Brent Gil. An old diaper butt. Yeah his head's a diaper butt. We were down there and I wanted to get a Mikala or no I wanted to get a Heineken Zero so I put 50 bucks in the machine at the bar. Dude the pros were out last night. Wait, but they didn't they didn't charge you for the beer or what? No, I'm charging for the beer if you're playing. Okay. I didn't know if that was completely gone or not I play some blackjack lose my money. Maybe seven clicks. We're laughing. I'm doing bits, you know, I'm playing correctly, but I'm doing bits Oh, I can't lose. I should double my bet. You know, if you double, you can't lose, right? Oh, maybe it's a double twice. Polk's eyes are anywhere but on me. He's scanning Andrew Polk, who specials on my YouTube. Funniest guy there is he's looking around like this,

just taking in all the sweet meat on display and a bunch of pros. You said yeah, all right. That's the sauna bed. Are you scared? I'm terrified. It sounded okay, but oh god, it's coming right over here. It's chili dog. Yeah, it smells like Nathan's famous.

I'll make you famous. That's what made Coney Island, Coney Island that smell. So yeah, we're down there that smell a lot of prostitutes. God, it's truly maybe the worst that she's dog smell. It's deepening. There's like a terroir to it. You can taste the grapes in the soil. in the soil. We might have to pause. No, come on. Keep talking about the pros. Okay, well there's toots down there. They're having a nice time. Toots. Yeah, I like that. And the Maytals. And I lose another 50 bucks rather quickly. Brent Gill's like, hey, can I hold some money? He's like winking at a girl. She's doing this. I'm like, no, Brent, follow me. So then we go to a different place and I

put a hundred bucks. I'm like, well, I'll put in a hundred straight up. I'll win it back quick. Video blackjack. That's gone. So I'm down there blue balled from the two to action. Uh, and they were looking good. Oh, were you crazy? Well, sometimes they're busted. The Luxor has been here for like twenty seven years now or something. Yeah, and these girls were born the day it was erected. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, I mean some of them, you know, they'd seen more sunsets than sunrises. Let's put it that way, but yeah, I mean I would have been I would figure out I would

have gladly bedded all of them. Yeah, there was one that was dressed like a librarian really the other way. He's like sixty five years old. He's drinking a tea. It's like hey lady, how much for the three of us. This wagons looking for a third wheel. You want to pull it and she was like my husband lives here. All right lady, this is a weird angle. Yeah, I can go with it.

I need an insurance. He can come too. Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure. We'll give you some protein shake. Come upstairs. Okay. I don't know where I live. Okay, lady, you're laying it on a little thick. Are you my son? Sure, whatever you need to get going on, I'm stuck. Oh, we should call the fire department. Now we already got two other dudes. We don't need any more dudes showing up. You're my husband. All right.

I had to put these in the elevator where they'll fill at home. Yeah. These pants are I think I didn't want to chili in my undies either. But here we are. So yeah. No we were down there was pretty bleak. I lost 200 bucks and then I came up here and Brent Gill told us about how we're all getting butt fucked. Yeah, I just didn't want to. I wanted the four of us to go straight to the room because I wanted us to be able to hang out without other people around. We'd been around a lot of people already. So we go in to the Luxor and there's, you know, classic just mid ass cover band, chick singer.

Yeah. She's playing the bass or whatever. Electric drummer. Kind of sucks, but it's okay. It's fine. And it's like, no, you know what? It's not fine. Yep. If you accept this, you'll... If you stand for the... What is it? If you won't stand for anything, you'll fall? It's not fine. Yeah, if you accept this you'll if you stand for them What is it if you won't stand for anything you'll fall for everything? Yeah And it was just I don't know. We talked about it earlier today cover bands. It's like it's a it's an accepted thing It's a form of entertainment. Most of them are gigging like here, especially you're just taking these gigs while you do your own thing Much like we'll take you, shitty gigs and hope for something better or whatever. But man, I don't have to like it. I don't have to love it.

I don't have to want some more of it. I just it, and I was already kind of tired. I like I said, I think I'm maybe getting sick or maybe I'm sick the whole time. Maybe the world's sick. I'm a symptom and a cure. I'm in the cure cover band that's called prep prep. I was like, you're sick. I'm sick. All right. I'm sick. Well, his jeans. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, yeah. So we go. Yeah, we go in now. No, man, that shit goes hard. So cool. Remember, we were listening to that and McCluskey. Those are the only two songs we listened to albums nuts. That whole album is good. There's another song

other than that and false. Jesse, that's fucking who dude. I'm going to tell you the truth bangers. I've never wanted a motorcycle, but there was that time when you, me and Bobby were hanging out a lot. You were still drinking. We were listening to a lot of piss jeans, a lot of McCluskey and the men. I was listening to that men album over and over again. I don't know them. I was like, dude, if I got a motorcycle, I could like be in San Diego by sunrise. I was looking on my phone for like motorcycles near me. What? Yeah, I know, know dude it's I for some reason this piss jeans thing just I got a headache I remember thinking like listening to

piss jeans on a motorcycle yeah it couldn't be stopped I'm fucking Christopher daughter you'd be going west hit San Diego right onto a boardwalk into the water yeah and parachute not slow into the air. Yeah, not even a parachute, just the motorcycle and your own fucking boner all the way to Guam, baby. Yeah, you just go around the world twice. Uh huh. Five hundred miles an hour. I thought that I mean, because Bobby had a motorcycle, Hank had a motorcycle. I was like, I could be a motor like hoops. I thought hoops was really cool. Like how can I be a cool guy?

I'll listen to rock and roll on a motorcycle, dude, what I was doing in Trinidad. I thought I was going to be Lorenzo Lamas, the renegade. Yeah, I know. I remember that that was going to wear leather bracelets, chaps in reverse, a lot of turquoise, your butts covered so Willow can't get you. Can't get my ears pierced again. Uh oh wait hey you know what uh you know what is helpful. Oh I'm gonna say this. St. Louis added February 27th. Chicago. Rosemont. Valentine's weekend zanies. Come out. I'll be

back there. He'll be there Chicago a real city where else there's somewhere else. I'm going Vancouver. Oh, yeah, Vancouver. Hey Vancouver get those tickets Those are actually selling pretty well Vancouver have you been there? I've never done stand-up there. You've been up me and bonzo drove up one time from Olympia, Washington on New Year's Eve We drove up we stayed in Seattle for a night and then went to Vancouver, went to Jimi Hendrix grave and blue weed hits on it. And then we went to Vancouver and I spent New Year's Eve. Vancouver was like the first city I went to that looked like I thought Japan did kind of like a Blade Runner thing where it's like all the same buildings and

there's like a weird like haze over the city. And we went to the gas lamp and we bought weed and like a legal weed bar that was like illegal and it was really scary and then we hung out in downtown Vancouver drinking Mississippi muds out of jugs we bought a case of Mississippi muds and We were drinking them and then we found this drum circle and I hate drum circles But there was a girl with like crazy blue hair who looked exactly like the Fifth Element girl And I remember being like I'm Mila Joe. Yeah, I was like, okay

So I guess I just live in Vancouver until this woman loves me It was like one of those moments where you see 30 years in the future and this woman is like you're holding your robot, baby Yeah, yeah I'm bleeding cuz Willow got me She's dead. Everything sucks. You don't know why your butt is bleeding. You're like, well, I'll deal with that later. Like a robot with like screwdriver hands. He's have to send my baby into space on a motorcycle. Last thing I do put

headphones on I was going to go with pentagram. Oh yeah, do now now now now now imagine ripping through the desert. You think I don't know that you think that's not why I go one twenty in the fucking impreza. It's good enough. Megan can't stop me from owning a car that goes fast. I roll the windows down all my shits flying out there. I don't give a fuck because I'm free. I wasn't I wasn't going 120 when I almost went under a semi. I'll tell you that it sucked. That was the opposite.

That's when you have to cool that part of your brain. You're like hey maybe you don't pass this truck today junior. Yeah you're talking about Mississippi mud but anyway I haven't been back to Vancouver since then so that'll be nice thanks for putting the button on that you were speaking of Mississippi mods which some people call coffee mud I mean these shorts are fucking your egg is filled with right now yeah but you know if coffee just isn't isn't hitting the same as it used to it's time for a change Mud water you want me to drink diarrhea is changing the game mud water is not diarrhea Packed with cacao chai. Yeah, definitely stop me just laugh off Mike

Compose yourself dick What do you want to say Something about drinking diarrhea You want to play in that sandbox a little longer? No, what if you drank diarrhea and got paid for it? It's like yeah, that'd be cool Sam. That'd be sick You'd be sick if you drink a bunch of diarrhea, but the money would Offset the fucking woes. Sorry, dude. No, I think I should. Why don't you go check it out? While I try to keep our sponsor mud water. No, it's not diarrhea.

It's packed with cacao, chai, lion's mane, chaga, reishi, cordyceps, turmeric and cinnamon. You're getting a smooth energy boost without those heart racing jitters. Yeah fuck coffee. I'm sick of it. I want, this is like robot coffee it sounds like, you'll alert and calm, but still be able to fall asleep at night It's the best of both worlds now. I do like that because even though I drink coffee almost every day If I have it after like 12 30 p.m. It can keep me up all night, and it's annoying so man Yeah, I may have to be a mud water guy moving forward motor motorcycles and mud water. That's our that's in our future and loose skin because we're not gonna do crunches. We're just gonna take monjaro and

Slam mud water until we're both 135 Just put some mud water powder into a mug mix it up with hot water and you're good to go Just put some mud water powder into a mug, mix it up with hot water and you're good to go. There are even caffeine free blends available if that's more your vibe. If you want to chug a bunch of mushrooms without having any caffeine in the mix. Oh Jesus Christ. Oh God. What the fuck.

Why is it all red. You got but you got butt fucked? Yeah, I did. Ready to make the switch to cleaner energy? Head to mudwtr.com and grab your starter kit today. Right now, Chubby Behemoth listeners get up to 43% off your entire order, plus free shipping and a free rechargeable frother when you use code CHUBBY. That's right, up to 43% off with code chubby at

MUD WTR calm that'll ask how you found them support the show and let them know we sent you Keep your energy natural and refreshing all year long with mud water because life's too short for anything less than clean delicious energy We who how are are you mud water? Let's just say if you want to make some mud water you can use the built-in undies on my chubby's pants liner. No I don't know if you remember 30 seconds ago mud water isn't diarrhea remember? Oh I know it's not diarrhea. Yeah yeah so I'm just gonna be laying like this. Mud water it was a good run. We had one ad read. We got your delicious product at our

home. Yes. You got two? I got two. Yeah. Maybe I'm supposed to get two. I own both. Oh, see, I am supposed to get two. I was confused until you said that you got two. Cause I got one box and then I got a note from the post office that was like, Hey, we tried to give you some mud water dip shit. Yeah. And you were like, why are you delivering me diarrhea I

already got it so I thought I needed I thought I needed just have the one so yeah I'm excited to check that shit out I like this angle because people are wondering if I'm nude off camera yeah waist down yeah your peen just two centimeters to the right of the camera. Yeah, yeah. God, you wish. Join the Patreon. Hey, by the way, I have a new string of weird shows at the end of February. St. Louis, a city winery, Marion, Illinois, at some strange convention center there. Because I needed what dates are these? February 27th, 28th, Marion,, Illinois and then March 1st white rabbit

Cabaret and Indianapolis two shows those tickets are moving very well. When are you in st. Louis the 27th of February? It's a Thursday City winery. You won't be there. No Patrick will be there me. Mm-hmm I can't wait for you and Patrick to get back together. No, yeah, that'll be fun. You can wipe his little tush Well someone I need someone to wipe mine right now. I gave myself a horse bath from the waist down in there. Yeah, so check that out. There's some mud water on the ground in there. Yeah, change your flight back to one AM. I don't want to

and then Vancouver, Washington, the one September 29th, this is confusing for our dumber listeners Yeah, you're gonna be in both Vancouver's two different times America non-america Vancouver, Washington is just Portland. So yeah, Portland March 29th I'm doing a reading at Powell's bookstore that day at 3 in the afternoon. It's the release of my book It's my first ever one of these I'm nervous I don't know what the hell I'm gonna say up there I'm probably gonna do crowd work for an hour hey what's your deal man but you read a lot of Burgess huh oh looks like you want me to sign a copy of mine comp they're not gonna do it yeah yeah yeah I got a lot of trouble hey what are you what

do you this guy looks like he reads 2666 every night what's that it's a book about killing women and Juarez who was it not Don DeLuo but I know hmm okay I haven't read that I remember seeing it on stuff yeah being like it's not 2666 crazy it was 2666 they would have already figured out a way for this chip not to butt fuck me Maybe that's it. Maybe this is a whisper of what's about to come Maybe I dumped in my own bed and sat in it for like five minutes It wasn't a lot, but it was enough to know better You know you were right that some came out a little bit nothing came out of me

were right that some came out a little bit. Nothing came out of me yesterday. Yeah, my undies looked bad. Oh God, I don't know what's happening. I never had like a oh shit that was bad, but something happened in them anyway. Yeah, you don't even have to get butt fucked these days. Yeah, to wreck your undies. One time I really wrecked my undies. I was like ten probably parker days in Douglas County Parker, Colorado was our little county festival there. Yeah, little festival carnival. It was in the parking lot of McDonald's. I think and what so it's just a little like one donkey. No, No, it was a whole thing. Okay. It was fun

It was a big parking lot. We went every year from when I was a child Those were my mom entered me in the blueberry pie eating contest um Bamba, yeah, it was exactly that I won like no one else cared I like ate the pie without chewing or blinking everyone was like, okay, it's a fundraiser. Let them have it chill out, buddy Yeah, so I did that there. And then one year I was in the- He ate the tins.

Yeah, he's eating the table. The crowd goes nuts. Yeah. Gool. Gool, boy. Boy, gool. They're like, it's just gool. It doesn't matter how old you are.

Not yet. Yeah. Gool. Lil' gool. L-I-O. Not yet. Yeah. Ghoul. Little ghoul. L-I-L. Ghoul. Little ghoul. Ghoul.

Oh, yeah. But I was in the teacups, and I shit my pants really bad with my cousin. Then she made fun of me the whole way back home. Whoa. And then one time, me and- Immediately had to leave, right? Yeah.

Ruined the night for everyone. I was 10. I was probably ate half of that was back when the Little Caesars had the Square pizza. It was called like the Sasquatch or the Bigfoot the Bigfoot that sounds familiar Yeah and I ate like half a Bigfoot that my aunt got for like eight people and I ate like half of it and then shit my Pants in the te tea cups and really ruined everything. It's bad when it's your aunt because she can't really be as mad as your mom

would, but she's also more mad because your mom would have more sympathy. Yeah, your mom sees some of the good in. She loves me for who I am. Yeah, my aunt theta. She really was a G about that. We need to cut our losses, maybe put them out in a field where he can't find his way home. We should probably plant him. He's mostly fertilizer from the waist down. This might be our new normal because Emily told me Monjaro carries with it some potential side effects. Like what? Constipation or diarrhea. Okay, so nothing changes?

Your regular life. Yeah, yeah. Not mine. I don't normally have diarrhea. That's good. I normally don't have constipation. I don't know if I've ever really been constipated. I've always tried to drink a decent amount of water and you know even when I drank a

lot of beer or whatever I feel like I never really got stopped up. Well yeah beer really clears you out too. No. Alcoholrates you. So sometimes it, I don't know. I used to get the dribbling shits from like yeah, I guess it can get well bush lights, get you a diary D but yeah, constipation sounds annoying, but yeah, we might, it might, it might oscillate between the two throughout the day. I don't, I don't know. Well, well done Willow. At least we'll be

together. Yeah, I'm this journey. We're gonna have, we need to get toilets installed side by side so I can be like, just ride that motherfucker out. You can, we can spot each other. Yeah, we're listening to forever my queen, but we're not on motorcycles. cycles. You know, we're on the toilet. Mine's a little sidecar toilet. There was an SNL commercial for, I can't remember what they called it, but the love toilet.

And you faced different directions so that you were kind of like, you turn your head and you're looking at each other. It was hilarious. But I like the idea of you're on the hog and I'm in the sidecar Yeah, it's a slightly smaller toilet And so I'm a little bit lower than you right and we're just attached by like a little porcelain So I also have a toilet on the motorcycle

This is not a lot of the motorcycle. It's not really a motorcycle sidecar But it is it's two toilets and mine is like the sidecar version of the little side toilet. So, but we're not in motion. No, we're not skipping across the Pacific. So it's like when I used Susanna's toilet, I pretended to use her toilet and she screamed, you're killing my toy. Is that what you're talking about?

She freaked out. Oh yeah. I didn't tell you that. That's my friend. Oh yeah. I don't remember that. Oh yeah. I was like pretending to use her little play toilet and she went you're killing my toy Damn yeah, but this is all to say

This is this is a 45 minute long hike. Yeah, but hey, we're about to say the egging leg. Oh, I was going to say, oh yeah, so also at Parker days, I think I was 16 and they let you they let you return. I had a disguise on six year. Oh it was a ten year band dressed like an old you had you would add enough. Hey it's been six years. Come on. A lot of the people that were there six years ago are dead. I was like Pete Rose in the baseball Hall of Fame. Let me in. I just shit one teacup.

Yeah the rest there are 12 more. It's great. Remember the blueberry pie? I ate the tins. I was the pig boy of 1998. They stuck a blue ribbon on me. But one time we got a bunch of what are they? They're morning glory seeds. We got them from Home Depot. And if you eat them, they have LSA in them and you trip. What? Yeah. So we got some morning glory seeds in packets from Home Depot.

We went there. It was for real? Mm-hmm, me and my buddy Alex Nichols ate them, or maybe I just ate them. There were so many of those bullshit urban legend things that I just kind of dismissed them. Yeah, no, this isn't like the nutmeg or the smoking banana peels.

Like there's LSA in morning glory seeds. Let's go get some. Well, hold on. Okay. This is a little warning to our. Yeah, don't don't just run out. Yeah, don't pause right now. Listen to the end. So we went also. I'm making it sound like it's hard for me to get a hold of LSD. I have like 50 hits at my house. Yeah, I just never do because I know it's a commitment. Yes. And I act like I'm too busy. I had some ibuprofen in a white bag and I put it in the drawer in our kitchen where you put stuff like that. Emily runs into

the living room one day and she says what are these white pills? And I was like I think they're like ibuprofen 600s? I don't know. And she was like well they're just in the drawer where Susanna can get them. And I was like, okay. And she was like, no, it's not okay. This is dangerous. You can't do this kind of stuff. And I was like, I'm sorry. I didn't know.

Susanna comes over the next day. We go up to her room, which I haven't been in in a while. In her room, on the bed is a hammer, and on the ground is a half-drank bottle of Hennessy. There's a half a drank bottle of Hennessy and a hammer in her room. Emmy was doing some work and having some sips. All right?

I, me and Hannah, Hannah's like, oh, okay, Susu. And I'm like, Hannah, the other day I had some ibuprofen in a bag in a drawer and Emily yelled at me, there's a hammer and a bottle of booze that's already been opened in your daughter's room. Is this more dangerous? Is this bad? Of course, Emily's like, who cares? She's a girl. What's she gonna do? Get drunk and hammer herself? Girls don't know how hammers work until they're women. Yeah, exactly. It's a claw hammer. She's gonna smell the Hennessy and realize it's not juice and right not gonna drink it Or if she's exactly like her mom and aunt she's gonna domed a whole bottle and get the party started. All right

Detroit guys back. Yeah. Well, it's in their blood Yeah, that's some sick smile coming at you. What up doe I say that now? It's fun What up? You can say what up doe everybody city? Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah What I probably shouldn't say it so much. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm saying it out of windows. I'm throwing it up. What up now? What about? What happened when Emily saw on her phone where you were at? Oh my god city Yeah, I was a I went to pick up my t-shirts from one custom city where I get all my cool shirts Which you can still buy on samtalent.com despite my website being ransomed by a crazy person. If you want to get my tour dates, go to Punch Up Live.

That's the easiest way to be kept abreast of where I'm going to be. Is it punchup.live? I don't know. Punch Up Live, Sam Talent, put that in. Also, just type in Sam Talent Wide World on YouTube the next time you're on there. It helps a lot. Just do that. Sam Talent Wide World. You don't have to watch it again. Just type it in. Type it in. Google me, bitch. Google me, bitch.

So yeah, I had to kill a half hour because my t-shirts went ready because, you know, the print shop runs on cool people time. So I have to go kill, so there's a Wendy's 15 minutes away. So I'm like, all right, cool. 15 in, 15 back. I'm gonna get my man Moe, a Frosty, it'll be nice. So I go and I get there and I'm in line at the Wendy's and Emily... You've walked there, right? No. You drove. This is, I drove, yeah. Okay. This is like near Hamtramck. The place where I get my t-shirts is like strip club row. So there's like dumps and trumps and like the night office and like the madam's glove, the gilded top hat. It's insane. It's like we're a bunch of Greeks, like the but fuckery. Yeah. It's like we're, it's like we're Sammy Davis Jr. performed.

So Emily calls me and she's like, hey, you got to get out of there. And I was like, she has my location. Yeah. We share our location. So I was like, I'm just grabbing a little Wendy's. And she's like, what do you mean? And I'm like, oh, I figured you didn't want me at Wendy's. She's like, no, you're at Eight Mile and Mound.

You're going to get killed. So I'm like, no. I ordered my Wendy's and drove away. But yeah, she was very scared. Lock your doors. No, I opened my door. and drove away but yeah she was very scared lock your doors no I know there are people were there people shuffling around obviously in need of help it was an impoverished part of an impoverished city for sure yeah yeah I mean or any like youths that you had to there were some active youth culture no no no you know there's a lot the it seems like the

youths in Detroit are getting back into the Eminem racing jacket type gear. There's a lot of really cool racing jackets I've seen. And then the tightest black pants. Not the white rapper Eminem. No, no, no. There was like, you know, just like your classic old 90s, Valvoline, Bush, racing jackets that were big in the culture. It's all so cool. Jeff Gordon. Yes, Dale Earnhardt Jr. Tony Stewart.

You got it. Fuck who else? Come on, Dale Shivani. No, that's not a guy. Manicotti? No. Tony Stewart. Jeff Gordon I already said. Kyle Bush. He counts I think. Yeah. There was another Bush I think. Dale Earnhardt. Kyle Petty. I think was Richard Petty's son. Yeah and Tom Pet Petty's lover. Yeah, the Betty boys. Manny Petty. Man. Great hands. You knew them coming because there was a radio friendly hook on the guitar blasting out of the speakers. You're like, Oh, the petties are coming. Yeah, it was like their engines warbled. It was great. Yeah. Uh, so yeah, that was, that was my adventure to Wendy's, but I brought Mo a frosty and he said, thanks for hooking it up you said how about it though he was like what I don't know what you've lived here for how long yeah live in the city yeah close enough you don't close it but a

world away this I'm in my back pocket by the way guys I'm not just deep in my own ass I know I realized that this looks bad making change anyway so yeah I get the morning glory seeds and then I forgot well of course you're in a fever dream what's the story of morning glory and this guy Cody Holt who was huge and was very nice to my grandmother and who passed away it's very sad he got us a bottle of Jaeger because he drank Jaeger and he got us a little pint of Jaeger. So me and Nichols smoke weed. We do. We drink Jaeger. I eat all the morning glory seeds and then we do a little bit of blow. Jesus, oh yeah, we're 16, 16 man. Yeah, summer between. That's

when you go off. We're about juniors, man. No one can tell us what to do. I just had my taste, taste, depth, death live life. Yeah it was like June of one of my 16th year I was driving. You got it right away right? Oh yeah. Like your license? Oh yeah. It seems so I'll that was when I felt old like one of the first times was when I started to hear about all these um like friends kids or just the the 16 year olds in general, we're not, get their license. We're not getting the license right away because who cares? What are you talking about? You give me rides or everything. What the fuck? It's like, I got cruise in USA and my computer, you don't need a car.

I'm driving a Palo Alto right now. I God, I hadn't thought about that in a while, but I really was like, what the fuck is that like? What does that I was old mean? Mm-hmm. I could never grasp It's the logic it goes against everything. I know about being a young person in America. Yeah It's like the same way like people saw Elvis on TV and they were like those hips are too much It's like you're not your license. That's the devil of your 16th birthday Yeah, or three months earlier if you you can get a farm license in rural, Colorado when you're like 14

Yeah, anyway, so we do all this shit and I get you do seven drugs. Yeah, you're 16 years old Oh god, well that was back in the prime of like hey, let's get ecstasy and blank So you get ecstasy and like then some kind of hallucinogen or whatever and And that was like we were trying to figure out the perfect mix with ecstasy. We didn't have any actually this nice, but we had the morning glory seeds. I get like super like cramps like, oh my God, oh my God. I go up here on the teacups. Yeah. And they're like, not again. It's the same carny. Yeah.

He starts hearing helicopters and like Creedence Clearwater. I went with mash. That's good too. All right. It's a different reference for a different generation. Suicide is painless. So I go and I throw up really bad by the porta potty and there's blood, there's blood in there.

Whoa. And it's revealed to me by some quick research the next day that those seeds are treated with like a DDT type chemical. Fuck. Yeah, so I just ate a bunch of weird chemicals on top of weird chemicals, on top of Yeager, on top of a little bit of blow, and whatever fucking carny food I was eating there.

So there's blood in it. So I tell Alex, and he's like, let's get out of here, his sister, God bless her, Katie Nichols, an angel on earth. God, I love her, I was obsessed with her. I wanted her so bad, but not as a lover, but as like a mommy, I loved her. Oh. Yeah, I was like, Katie Nichols wanted her so bad, but not as a lover, but as like a mommy I loved her. Oh, yeah I was like Katie Nichols is like everything that's good about the divine feminine like being like a child and she had huge ones Tall there it is. She wore hookup shirts. She loved jewel. She was the coolest girl ever

Smashing pumpkins were cool when she played it. Otherwise gay So she picks this up and she takes us back to Alex's house over there on Thunder Hill and I proceed all night to just throw up like the gnarliest white orange yellow bile in the toilet and it's so much stomach acid that I was taking pieces of toilet paper putting them in there and they were sizzling. Yeah dude, it was really bad. I thought I was going to die. You put a squirrel in there and pulled out by the tail and you pulled out a carcass, this bones. It's pretty much like a cartoon cauldron that

I created. Yeah. Yeah. There's like demon skulls. Skeletons are coming out and doing fun. There's a mailbox. You open its mouth. It says mail on Sunday. Yeah, it was. It was a fever dream burrows yeah and Alex tried to nurse me back to life with applesauce and pizza rolls applesauce was like oh got a little nurturing part to his psyche never we watched mall rats I remember thinking like I'm gonna die while watching mall rats tell my story and dude I quoted mall rats today cuz that guy was sitting on the escalator he was sitting on the escalator it was nuts it the escalator. It was nuts

It looked like he was like it made me wonder if he had just lost some money or something It looked like maybe he was just pouting upset or adult Yeah, maybe he had gone upstairs to his room the night before with the librarian woman and figured out it wasn't a ruse She was just dementia. Well, we wanted to last night hire a pro and say, hey, if you go up to our room, here's the key. Oh my God. That would have been so funny. Walk in. There's a guy in there. He's probably on his phone. If you just want to go up and bother him for like 10 minutes, we'll give you like $50. You don't have to do anything. It would have been very funny. You say that, but I think you're looking back. I was colored no I think you would have been like no okay thank you I wasn't like pissed last night I was just tired

yeah and I wanted all of us to come up here but then as we're like walking through the casino and we hear that band I was like man Polk and or Brent might want a beer or two yeah exactly and neither of them have lived in Vegas come to Vegas so like I mean I imagine there was some part of them have lived in Vegas come to Vegas. So like I met. I imagine there was some part of them that maybe wanted just to be around just for the randomness of being people are people watching pro stocking whatever checking out heavy dumpers. Yeah, they were so in abundance right. So I was like yeah, maybe they're not at the show. Yeah,

my God both shows, but no, if you would have, Oh, and it also would have been funny because you called and said, what, what, what a floor are we or what room number? And I was like, okay, you know, 40 50. And you were like, we got a little entertainment coming your way. If it w and then I, so I think you thought dwarf stripper. No, I thought they're coming up here Yeah, good. I wanted to hang out up here. They you know did whatever and now we'll kick it But if it would have been like a hot dumped Lady and I'm like a sock on the door and I'm like what the what and she's just like hey

How's it going? Your friend said that I should come hang out with you or whatever I'd be like what and it would have like really thrown me for a loop yeah and you know yeah it would have been funny I would have been even funnier if we're like yeah you just gotta go up there and like talk to him it'll be funny he's nice he's really he's happily married and then you're like all right and you just pull down your shorts and she's like whoa and you're like, alright and you just pull down your shorts Pounding it. She's like whoa, and you're like what I thought we were partying, baby Drink the lava lamp. You're like, let's do this. I have morning glory seeds

I didn't listen to this old episode time travel is as happened So I've heard it even though it hasn't happened yet somewhere in my brain knows I've heard that you order the morning glory seeds off of like a wholesaler and then you make a tea or a tincture with them and then you know there has to be like some bit of alchemy involved where you make the LSA more easily adaptable to your body. You never fucked with it other than that time. Never again. This was a bad time in Elbert County because not only were the kids dying from opiates and speed and eating eight balls of blow to avoid getting arrested they were also dying

in train tracks and in grain engulfments and random bird attacks when the vultures would come for their due no but it was also a time when like Deterra was going around so kids were like yeah Deterra don't do that one because it'll fucking scramble your egg completely kids were their brains were getting evaporated just destroyed By deter I don't think kids were like smoking it. I don't remember. I think that my friend drank the turrety he was the one who was like went from real cool high-achieving dude to like a real like Yeah, what I keep forgetting what you say. It's not for you. It's for us.

What is it though? I'm not going to tell you. What is it though? It's What Up Doe. This guy, Jacob Russell, on my show on Wednesday walked on stage and said it, and I was like, that's cool. That was the first thing he said. What up, Doe Detroit? And I was like, yes. Yes. Yeah, and it's like, he's saying it. Yeah, it's like he's saying it If you want to be real cool like the kids who say what up though once you get on that patreon, huh? Yeah, we've we started the patreon when we started the podcast

So if you haven't gone in there yet, you got a whole treasure trove of goodies waiting for you It's at a more wide world begging for more wide world. Yeah. Why don't you? You little baby fuck. Why don't you go shit your pants on the patreon? Yeah $5 a month you get access to all the episodes A lot of them are video at this point probably a year's worth or on video Oh, yeah, you can watch us the rest is our pants the rest is a the the first three years are a radio play Yeah, yeah, it's more the world from yesteryear the rest is our pan. The rest is the first three years are a radio play. Yeah, yeah, it's more of the world from yesteryear.

So yeah, good in there. Some of the best episodes are in there. That's not just me saying that it's for real. He's just saying it to the no one not lying. No, I'm not making shit up. You never would like you did about that teacher just because he was mean to you or whatever. Hey man, oh yeah, you had her prints were on the gun. You had four twinkies. You had two pairs of twinkies. He took one and you said, why did you fuck my butt? What are you willow the super computer? Mr Alan, I'm getting why did you now I have diarrhea. I diarrhea. It's there's proof in the pudding. Check my

shorts. Yeah. Anyway, see on there. Yes, join it's there's proof in the pudding check my shorts Yeah, anyway see on there yes join it it's good Sam Google Sam talent stand up live Punch-up live punch up December's okay real quick rundown of dates that have been added Detroit the seventh the independent two shows I'm home for the Super Bowl come see those Obviously Chicago Rosemont get those tickets and then the 27th is st. Louis the 28th is Marion, Illinois Indianapolis the first DC Cleveland

fucking Toledo Toledo All right Toledo and then a funny bone. Yeah Every funny bone keeps following me on Instagram. That's good because I know you're coming. They want to put doing all of them. Yeah. Twenty ninth Vancouver, Washington. That's Portland. Come to that. Casey, Houston, Lexington, Kentucky.

Hell, Omaha. Get your tickets because then I'm going to Europe for a month. Amsterdam coming over there. The UK, Glasgow, Manchester, for the love of God. London, Australia. I'm coming down there in July. Bringing along New Zealand. You're getting a taste of the WAD squad.

Lest we bother the poof. Yes. Goodbye. Bye. To take a shower.