Chubby Behemoth - If It Lands On Stage I Have To Eat It

Episode Date: July 19, 2026

SEE THE BOYS LIVE - https://www.samtallent.com/     Sponsors: HIMS - Support the show & get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care with HIMS @ http://hims.com/CHUBBY     RIDGE - One thing to pack, five ways to power! Get 10% @ Ridge with code CHUBBY at https://www.Ridge.com/CHUBBY #Ridgepod #sponsored #ad     ZocDoc - Find & instantly book doctors appointments with ZocDoc @ http://ZocDoc.com/CHUBBY     PATREON EPISODES: https://www.Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth     This week the boys start off getting Sam to sit in frame. Sam went back to the human zoo, tells the guys about some fun bits he ran, and recaps his night at Shane's show this weekend. Nathan is in a race against time, wants to know who threatened Sam, and would be scared if he found that notebook.     00:00 From Back Here 02:02 In As Many Days 05:01 What Government Figure? 07:30 Back To The Sewer 09:54 You're Busy, I'm Not 12:28 Soft Silent Food 14:32 Stepped In Dog Poop 18:00 Blind Item 22:11 Reverse Benjamin Button 26:18 Thought It Was Overcast 29:02 Bottle Rocket 32:53 Running Around Doing Gags 34:50 Strange Clumpings 36:54 National Anthem 40:33 Lot L Is Where I Need To Go 45:22 Almost Perpetrated 48:45 Start To Finish 53:23 More Fun To Not Know 56:36 I Don't Mean Pouring Some OJ 59:41 Mustache And A Wig 01:01:59 Virtuoso On Display 01:05:10 You See Me Almost Every Weekend 01:07:51 Then It Was Time 01:10:31 The Funniest Thing That Happened All Night       Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   MORE WIDE WORLD: @SamTallent   Pre-Order Sam's New Book - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0593978897/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3I4LOBQ02YIGW&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.k5eCApJdjwVfn7hSelWi5VdRMlVrzKa4zf68ficcjcg.tZZOiI0nB0n3kkWiGAbidMQy5yUS_MkvmEIaXp-LXjo&dib_tag=se&keywords=sam+tallent+brut&qid=1769522903&sprefix=sam+tallent+,aps,181&sr=8-1&dplnkId=90401c83-a6a0-4ad4-999e-ece570a5d320&nodl=1

I'm going to bond from back here. Okay, well, then tip the screen down. Please. I don't want the video or the audio to be good. Yeah, but it just makes it so much easier to frame everyone. Yeah, but the mic is like really far away. Okay. It can't even reach the mic.

Yeah, but just do one of these. Very good. Is that better? No, it's worse. Okay, what if I sit up like right on the mic and I'm really loud? and you're going to see my eyebrows. Look, it's like... Just a head.

Just a forehead. Guess who's back in the basement? M.T. She wants it. She loves the pod. She can't wait for it to come out. She wants to hear it live. Yeah. She wants to hear a third of it. Completely obsessed with me and the podcast and, you know, the behind-the-scenes goss that, like, no one else gets. Yeah.

she's the deep throat on the Reddit and in the house nice that's what she wants aired yeah this is for sure the free one oral sex

Emmy's very generous in and out of the bourgeois and I love her and who's coughing I thought you made Emily cough laugh no no no she doesn't laugh anymore

she just waits. She's like Chuck Norris. She just analyzes. When something is, she's like joke world. Yeah, when something structurally sound, she's very good. Yeah. She doesn't laugh, but she wants to get like people's responses to how it made them laugh. Taking it all in, informing for future situations where she's going to need.

I'm finishing off my second two leader in as many days. Apparently, if I pop a two liter, I finish it. Whoa. So that's good. You think Emily's going to be mad at me? Well, you think I'm the one who's in trouble? Zero sugar. And I said my wife was good at Falaccio, and now you're guzzling two liters day by day?

Zero sugar. So. Oh, okay. All right. That's... Eatin ain't cheating. Also, they're so dumb. It's just Safeway.

It keeps doing like buy two 12 packs, get two free. and I don't want that many sodas in the house. So this time I was like, oh, the two-leaders. But it's a race against time. As soon as you open them, there's, you know, the clock starts. So, yeah, I chugged. You're playing Safeways pricing system. They want you powerless before.

They want you to chug. So you go back in demanding more. Nothing like a two-liter, man. I love a good two-liter. Oh, they're bad. They're bad. But if you're having a party, I do think a two-liter can really serve the purpose, especially if you're going on a picnic. You can pack one bottle, take it with you, you got some ice.

You don't even eat ice. He's passed it around. People's mouths are turning different colors. It's a good time. Yeah. Yeah. It just seemed like as soon as I opened the Dr. Pepper yesterday, it started to taste bad, flat. So I was like, yeah, I had to like up the intake.

Did any part of you when you, when you? made the purchase think you were pulling any wool over anyone's eyes or getting away with anything at all I did this at the self-checkout I said well I gotta drink it it can't go flat

if they let me out of here then they know you had two but one didn't make it home correct? Had what? You had two when you left the store but only one made it to the fridge. No because they don't say buy two two liters get three free or whatever stupid like i don't understand they they they charge too much but then they keep having these sick deals and it's like okay

how about you have them cost a normal amount of money and then we buy a normal amount no they have to get rid of the excess so they make price them down i don't know it doesn't matter threw up i want to know no i killed my fan it was picking up on the fucking mike so it's going to 97 degrees in here. That's going to happen to me, but in reverse. Fuck you. What? I'm so hot. I'm losing my

mind. No, I was thinking a fan's going to kill me. Oh, I thought you meant you were going to keep getting colder. Sorry. I read into that because of my desires. Yeah, no, I'm in the basement, man. It's fine down here. You know, the sun went away, but it's been a balmy 79.

Sam, I want to know what government figure threatened you to stop talking about big hash browns. It felt like that somebody showed you a gun and was like, hey, you got to tell Lund to knock it off. Stop digging. Yeah. They showed that they had a gun and then a spatula on their belt. That's all I needed to see.

Yeah, they were from the Browns Enforcement Division. I just think it was so, it made me wonder. They said, hey, we're from bed. We're going to put you to yours forever. It just seemed like, yeah, you were threatened. Or it was somebody that you liked. It wasn't just a random person. No, no.

I cannot tell you who it was specifically. You don't know. Your agent and their managers. They listened. My God, dude. I got the agents yesterday. The agents were out. They all came out of the woodwork.

And they were all walking around that stadium before it began, literally looking at all the seats and going like this. I busted my agent looking at all the seats before anyone came in, doing Mr. Burns, and then another agent who represents some big powerful people walked up and went like this and stroked his chin. And then put his arm around my agent and said something I couldn't hear and they both laughed. As if like, this is next where everyone's doing 80,000 seats. This is how we get our third yacht is 80,000 seats out of every client, every weekend.

we're going to put the WNBA out of business because we're going to need the arena space so we're going to do two a night. It was insane. Oh, my God. No, but I was aware of the fact that we have, we've crossed the hash brown bridge many a time, you know. And I'm guilty of it just as much as you.

Becker, you know, he'd eat drywall paste. He doesn't care. But then someone did say something, hey, can you tell Lund to shut the fuck up about hash browns? And I was like, well, I was aware of it during the conversation. So I will be conscious of it moving forward. No one did anything wrong. We were men of principle.

I just, I thought that it would unite us more, because I understand not everybody flies. So if we talk airplanes and people are like, dude, from your ivory tower, which seems insane. Right. I flew frontier to Philadelphia yesterday. It's felt like a human zoo. It's rough. It was crazy. You go from deltas, fucking Silver Spoon.

Hand holding. Back to the sewer. I'll be there next week. It was the compost that I was grown in. My mom would get me a frontier membership every year for Christmas. It was $60. And once a year they gave you a bag of peanuts and you had to eat them in the bathroom. It really didn't do much.

But it got me wet. with the, my beak wet with the blood of like, you know, status programs. So I love Frontier, but yeah, I just think that the hash brown thing, there's other things that we can be mad about eating. I mean, the two-liter thing, I don't think we were really done grooming that, that bush, but well, yeah, we can explore that more if you want. It's like I said, it didn't make sense to me to Becker's throwing up again. That time I choked on how to...

It's 100 fucking degrees in here. Everything's not working. It's too loud. Just go listen from the bathroom and run yourself a cold bath. I just took a cold shower for like 25 minutes before this to like try to help me not yell it imaginary people. You were edging for 25 minutes. No, I just stood there with it like going over my head and down my back and then I'd shift a little so the water would change where it was getting ice cold. Yeah, yeah.

And then I turn the other way once I got a tolerance up. Yeah, it was. You're in full duck mode. That's all I can do. I, you know I like to create a climate of creativity and, you know, just foster this idea, quit eating. But the hash brown thing, I'm sorry.

I didn't want to censor you. I understand how annoying that actually. Well, I'm just curious. I want whoever said something to message me because do you think that we should all just take it or that, it's insane to like bitch about it when nothing can be done like i'm just curious why it's also not a weekly thing it's not like i'm constantly getting hash browns it's that you listen probably multiple

times to each episode and so you're acting like i talked about it eight times a day but that's just your listening so that's not my fault it's because it's secretly their favorite episodes if you want to get a whole of lund just reach out direct 303 uh I know the rest, but I won't say it. Now you don't. And I know yours. So you should probably shut up because you probably don't know mine. And I do know yours.

I know. I just had it right there. More people are going to know, want to use yours than mine. And remember, you're busy. I'm not. So I won't even care. Yeah, you'll be doing people's weddings if I put your phone number out there. Oh, yeah.

Speaking of. You had an offer. Shout out. Ron, long time listener, got married and got dressed up real nice. Ron in Alaska. Oh, yeah. Ronnie T. I think he's still in.

I just sent Ronnie T. I just cleared out the whole fucking had to ship everything off ship station. I finally got back into my wicks. I was locked out after my old managers. So I had all these things I had to ship. And I couldn't get anyone's shit out of there. It was so infuriating. But I finally sent Ron something.

I sent a bunch of people's stuff. but I sweetened the pot for old Ron. Oh, good. Yeah, he just got hitched. Hope it makes it up there, buddy. Oh, yeah, nice. I said him a Coke mirror. One of the brute Coke mirrors

that Pink Bike Ralph made. Whoa, nice. All these weird people. I remember, I mean, Ron, I love you. And this isn't a story about you. But a guy who has a very similar job to yours once hit me up when they thought that the nuclear clock was hitting zero.

And I, like, woke up to, like, a man with his finger over the button, wearing one of the chains like he has one of the keys like around his neck at all time so he can just like rush to the chamber yeah and he sent me this long thing about how like it was one of the greatest joys of his life was like listening to me be funny like thank you so much you know because he thought the world was going to explode Jesus he wrote you and like Charles Barkley and shack he's like thank you for all the good times yeah and I went to high school I went to high school with this kid too or like elementary so he's like I've known you since we were children and like

making me laugh for years. So just like when I think of the things I'm grateful for, I think of you. I hadn't talked to this guy in forever. Damn. Yeah. Must have been, he must have had some time to think it over.

I don't think I was first on the list. When was that? Oh, it happens all the time. No, the, the clock's always hovering. But I'm saying, that was a particular time, right? Yeah, I don't remember what it was tied to. I like that.

Oh, yeah, you're at a children's birthday party. He's probably why you're making of that. It's a soft, silent food. I approve. I kept this because in a psychotic turn of events today, dude, I was so fucking pissed. I come from the airport and I go directly to Emmy. Come listen to this.

I tell you this. When I got to the party today, everyone was in the backyard I put my bag in the garage and then I went in the backyard and snuck in that sliding door and got a glass of water and went pee. I came out I walked down the stairs

the first person to greet me was Ila. Susanna wasn't there yet. She punched me directly in the penis. Directly in the penis. And that woman who was on the blanket with the beautiful little baby laying on its back she was like, oh my God, are you okay?

She got you right on the button. Right on the button. And this girl, you know, we have our issues. We have a longstanding beef because she's emulating Susu's antics. And it's not as charming because I wouldn't, you know, I wouldn't eat a gallon bucket of glass for this kid like I would for fucking Susu. So anyway, Susu's blood. I don't know, probably dirty.

It's a towel. So, this girl, Ila and Susanna take a wicked turn halfway through the party where now they're bringing me treats. And they blessed me with this and some juice boxes and some apple slices. So I assume they were poison. Sorry about your button. I'm sorry. No apology. I punched you in the button.

It was tied to nothing. It seemed sincere. So, of course, I distrusted them immediately because I thought they, like, put it in the toilet or, like, you know, someone, like, spit on it. Mm-hmm. Exactly. Can I tell that story that Hannah told us about Susu? You know the one I'm talking about? Yeah.

Dude. Sussu's in California for the last two weeks with her cousin Sadie. And Hannah comes upstairs. Hannah was out there for the first week. Hannah comes upstairs on the first day. And Susu's washing her leg, like in the sink. And Hannah's like, what happened? And Susu says, I stepped in dog poop.

And Hannah says, where? and they said on the balcony. Now there's no dog in this house. Okay. So then Hannah further explores, give Susu's butt a sniff. She's like, well, that's not dog shit. You know, I know what that is.

I know that batch. I have dog shit all over me. I'm covered in dog shit. This sucks. Mom, what the hell? So Sadie's in there too. And Hannah's like, what happened out there?

And they're like, we stepped in dog turds, both of us. And she's like, both of you? And they're like, yeah. So then she sees that Sadie and Susu's legs are both caked. They're frost. They're ding-dongs. They're frosted. Hannah says, quote, what the fuck happened is what she said to the girls.

And it was revealed that the two of them went outside, dumped on the balcony, just drop trow and both in unison dumped while holding hands holding hands singing sang a hymns who knows i mean this is the equivalent of children you know eating peyote they're we're watching them from earth as they fly away in this moment so they went out there and they shit on the balcony and then to get rid of it they picked up their own turds and threw them into the neighbor's yard Were they at an Airbnb? No. They were at Sadie's mom's house.

The neighbors, they threw it into the neighbor's yard. And then Hannah says that they must have got it all over because it was smeared all over the railing. It was like rubbed into the wood because they didn't have any toilet paper. So Hannah's like, what the fuck did you guys do? And they said, well, we had to go to the bathroom. but we couldn't get there in time. And Hannah says, you know, the parents are very rich. There's six fucking bathrooms in this house is what Hannah yells at these children.

An abundance of options. And they went with the balcony. And then chuck it. Whip it next door. With your bare hands. Spread it all over your legs first. I don't know, man. This wasn't their first time.

It seems like ritual magic. If something dark. And something that, like, you can't describe because you can't understand it with, like, speech. No. You don't understand it with, like, rhythm and blood. Well, and Susanna's not, like, racking up weird moves like that on her own.

So is this other child completely evil or what? Check their, check under their hairs. But, uh, Mark of the Beast. There was some, people brought back some gossip from out there. Well. Yeah. That's all say. Huh.

Mm-hmm. Blind item. This little girl is a, quote, bitch, says great aunt Suzanne, end quote. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Hey, everybody. Why don't you join our Patreon, you fucking jag? Huh?

We're tired of your shit, Slappy. Get in there. Go nuts. Be rude. be nasty, be one of the inside men and women. And yes, there may be a few genderless amongst them. That's not that what matters. All that matters is they give us five fucking dollars a month, which is $1.25 a week.

Is that right? $1.50 a week? I don't know. Yeah, $1.25 a week. And you get an extra episode of your favorite fucking podcast that keeps the, you know, the demons away, keeps you from self-harming, right? That's all you can ask from $5 a month, not a day, which you spend on crystal meth, the bus stop. Because you can't afford a fucking eight ball. You can't even afford a teanor.

You're getting little just little dribs and drabs. And it helps you work at the slaughterhouse. But you know what else helps you is that giant backlog of episodes. There's 1,200 episodes in there. Give or take them up. Yeah. I mean, I don't do the math, but you should. five bucks a month,

join it. Just join it, stupid. Love you. Tulsa, Oklahoma, this weekend, Oklahoma City is well on Sunday. Going to be down there at the Bricktown Comedy Club's

Lund will be in tow, as will the Beckman. Miami at Comedy Inn. I don't know if it's sold out already. They do like a weird secret system, but I'm at Comedy Inn, Miami, August 5th. And I'll be doing a show at Comedy Key West

on 7-11, the night before Tom Dustin's birthday, 731, I mean. On to Nashville. And then if you were worried about Huntsville, yes, Huntsville was canceled because I think a Christian comic is doing a three o'clock now. But we're moving it to Tuscaloosa. We're doing a show in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, that night, that Sunday. I don't know.

Search Sam Talent Tuscaloosa comedy. Richard Lockhart. Hit up Richard Lockhart directly. Sir Richard Lockhart joint. But Caleb Garrett will be there as Will O'Lund. and Beckman, I believe. Naples, Florida. I don't know where that is.

Tampa. Tamp down. Virginia Beach, Richmond, Milwaukee, Winnipeg, Cleveland, Indianapolis,

St. Louis, Kansas City, Levitt Town. Levittown's nervous about ticket sales. Levitt Town said, hey, can we get a promo post?

I said it's in November, right? They said, good point. Brooklyn. Where Brooklyn at? Somewhere in New York. Manchester, Connecticut, Denver, Philadelphia, Royal Oak, Michigan.

Get those tickets, everyone. I want to see you at your shows come out. Pre-order brute. Buy a hat off Too Big to Fail. Dot merch. Is that it? No, Too Big to Fail. Dot Press.

Too Big to Fail. Dot Press for Sam Talent Hats. Those look good. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, Joe, broke his foot off in that one. Yeah. I have shows in Reno, August 28th and 29th. I'll be sharing ticket information once I get that.

Should be soon. Also, just booked the Comedy Fort for Thursday, October 8th. So I can film Soup's on Two. More Soup. No, the title will be... This time, it's scalding. Something about hash browns. But yeah, one show.

So Fort Collins, Denver, Broomfield, Lafayette, Louisville. Get your tickets now for my special comedy taping October 8th. I'm very excited to be done with these jokes. These jokes are for you and they'll be waiting for you in Fort Collins. You know, it's easy to write off bedroom performance issues as just getting older. Sam, that's your go-to. I'm old. I'm old and I get horny as I get older.

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specialty LLC hymns is not affiliated with or endorsed by beatrice well hopefully susanna didn't bring any of that back with her Hopefully she leaves in California. She brought back a handstand because Sadie is a competitor above all. And they went to like gymnastics classes every day while she was there. And she brought over Lund a forward onto your hands and then arching scorpion back bend land. Whoa. Does that make sense?

Yes. So like you know, like your feet in the air. Yeah, you go to handstand and then you bend it over and your feet. plant right here and you're arching. Guess what? At this party, they had a little kitty pool and I said, Susanna, that's pretty good on land, but why don't you go lay it down

in there? She was just doing like insane wrestling. It's all wrestling. She just has wrestling moves. I see the whole thing. She's starting young. Mm-hmm. She'll have to work under a stupid name when she's a job

or like, do buy chocolate or something. but when she finally gets to take the hijab off and make some money, that'll be fucking sick. I got to figure out what match I'm going to watch next for my thing for the Patreon. Have you considered my butt in your face? I'll put you over. What is that? Apple juice?

Her apple sauce. I need to have something that's just mine. Purae. I can't give these people everything. This is apple, yellow carrot, peach, mango. Mm. Uh-oh. You're going to have a bad time.

I might have just zooted myself. That's a lot of other stuff to dilute the mango. Your tolerance has also grown a lot since the day you panicked on mango in a hotel room. Shit. It was an airport lounge. It's PCP in here, too. I knew that they tricked me. A thousand percent of,

your daily need for mango i don't need any mango and emmy she's always snacking on mangoes her whole thing is mango yeah mango rules she'll always text me on the road she'll say sammy and i know what that means and i say you ate too many mangoes and then she sent me a picture of like a three pound bag of mangoes it's been destroyed the dried ones from like natural grocers yeah those are easy to crush we had them on the boat they were on the boat those are and that was her being very generous that was she she shared them yeah yeah That was her head stash, man. She busted it out.

So I know kayaking has been important to you. Have you been able to, despite the air quality? Or has it been so bad that you can't do what you want to do? So it really came into my understanding. On Tuesday, I just thought it was overcast. And I was like, all right, NBD. And people were still. sunscreen on people were still finishing off their

July 4th meat hall yeah yeah I thought that the smokehouse was having a barn sale no I didn't I didn't I you know I wake up I have I do I had to write a fucking show Bible this week you know like something I'd never done before and didn't know how to do but I banged it out with like record speed and quality which was good but then I would just hop my bike as soon as I sent it off for more fucking notes that made me want to, you know, buy a bullet, rent a gun.

And I hopped on my bike and I wrote over there and there was no one at the beach. There was no one. And I was like, oh, well, this is quite exciting. And I was alone in there for like three hours, man. And it was overcast and I was reading. I'm reading this book called People Who Eat Darkness. It's like very enthralling. It's awesome.

So yeah, I was just out there. And I brought a little picnic too by myself. Two liter? I was sitting there and I was like, damn, no, not two liter, 24 ounces, moon miss, nothing to see here. Tall can. And I wish it was a red dog, man. Crack that, slurp it, toss it in the water. There was no bugs.

And I thought, this is nice. I'm not fighting any bugs away. Huh. It's the perfect day for Sam T. Maybe. Maybe it's because I smoked that joint and they don't like the smell of the weed. maybe that's why my throat hurts too. Huh.

Damn, I guess that was some pretty heady cush. So then I ride back home and I check the weather report to see if it's supposed to rain. And Detroit was at 500 air quality index. Yeah, it was fucked. That's the top of the charts. That might have only been because that's as high as it goes is what I've read. Yes, it can be worse than that. Yeah.

Detroit was here and then the needle broke off. The next day, Wednesday, I wake up, Detroit has the worst air quality in the world. In the world that day. I'm glad you're not completely fucked. That could have really, I don't know. Could have messed you up even worse. You can get sick. It's not going to be three hours that gets me.

Three hours of smoke. Come on, man. I'm motorhead. I'm the ace of spades. it's going to have to be a harpoon or like you know fucking bottle rocket it's going to be something crazy i hope yeah not just like dementia and then i get pushed down the stairs as emily's promised me mango dementia i'll hit you with a harpoon i told you she's just going to push me down the stairs yeah yeah she told you it happens to everyone no one'll find me at the bottom of the

stairs it's perfect she's everyone will believe me i'm a doctor you're a fat retard you're stoned all the time yeah you loved it down there that's what your drums were yeah you were excited to go play the drums yeah you were skipping down the stairs because you're also a gay man with your linen pants and your fishing shirts uh well yeah that sucks and it wasn't is it better now it's got to be like slightly better but not really yeah it was outside uh was like That party was like 40 minutes away. So yeah, I don't know. It wasn't bad.

And I'm hoping that we wrap this up nice and tidy. And then I can hopefully get to the lake by like 845 or 815 maybe. Yeah, we'll see. How long can you be on the water after sundown? I mean, it's international waters. They can't do anything. Can you see anything? I can touch.

I can touch 300 yards out. So I just walk out there. And then I just take my shorts off. and start flipping the bird at both sides. Canada, hello, here's my penis. Come and get it. I saw in that promo video in the kayak, one of the one of the promo videos,

you're smoking a heater. And I know that during a joint. Oh, wow. It was a joint. Everyone thought it was a sig because it was so well rolled. The old Sam T still got it. I thought I saw the filter. No, I'm Betsy Talent Sun.

I might have a crutch in there because it was for kayaking. Yeah. Okay. I still got it, man. I rolled it up. They call me the Cush. The what? Perfect.

The mic. Yes. That was a fun effect, though. Hopefully the recording kept that. Yeah. Cool. Cush King strikes again. All right.

I'm back. I see you. God damn it. I was it. That was hubris. That's where you got to play it. Cool. Yeah.

Yeah. I was curious. Because you had said that you had a sig or two during all the partying because everybody was smoking cigs, including me. I had like four puffs of cigarettes. I would light one up. Someone was like, where are those cigarettes? And I would grab one of the packs, you know, because I got all the packs for people. And I'd pull one out and I'd be like, can I get?

I just want to, don't want to have a drag. And I'd have a drag and I'd hand it off. I lit one up on the boat and pushed it maybe like two or three times because I was like, this is fun. I'll have a smoke on a boat. I'm wet. No, I didn't like it. I handed it off. Well, good.

Dave T. was the one who was, you know, crawling through the gutter, picking out snipes. Oh, I didn't, catch him doing that at all. It's puff and tough. You had said that you, I was worried that you, like, kept trying.

Because now when I go by smoker-friendly, I keep thinking, ooh, man, wouldn't mind a pack. That'd be okay. Yeah, not for me, man. Yeah, no, I keep not doing it. Not my bag. We went to Brooklyn Bowl after the Shane show.

I'll tell that story from the top because it was moving. Is that okay for this or should I be on the Patreon? No, no, it's fine. I mean, I'm not going to tell any stories at a school. But this was a fun bit to do last night. There's two bits. I was a bunch of bits. Because after party, everyone's fucking wasted.

So I'm just like running around doing gags. I'd walk up to people and I'd be like, hey man, sorry, the bar just made an announcement. They're out of your favorite drink. There's no more hot men's cocks. I apologize. Then I'd like walk away. I did it to Jason Kelsey. Whoa.

There was. Yeah, better to keep it moving than get trapped by somebody who's wasted and just like going through it or whatever. Take it out on you. Oh, I got punished left and right, man. I got trapped. I got sucked in. Yeah. There were some of like the gnarliest.

sucks there, you know? And they only get me once a year. So when they get me, they get me and they get in and they tell me about their projects and their aspirations. I'm trying to do bits. We were all on the tunnel yesterday for the show. Like we were where the players come out in the end zone corner. That's where we watched from.

And we kept leaning against the wall because I'd have to push like, you know, another 800 beers through every three minutes because the Philly Finale. Maddox for frothing. So whenever we'd hug the wall, there'd be a new cluster of people. And I would say, hey, I hope you're not allergic. And they'd say what? And I'd say, we're hanging out with wall nuts. That's the fun one. I kept doing it on both sides of the tunnel. What do you mean? Well, we'd all be leaning against the wall. So it's like me, Jodrosa, Nick Rochefort, like Chris O'Connor. And I'd be like, hey, hope you're not allergic. What do you mean? We're hanging out with wall nuts.

You're hanging around all these wall nuts and put my arm around someone. That's good. The weirdest part of last night's fever dream for me was the strange clumpings of people that I would find myself in. Like at one point, it's like me, Jamie Vernon and Devante Smith, like just, you know, talking about like where we like to go swimming, that kind of thing, just like middle age dude stuff. At one point it was, it was me, Steve Gerben. Bam Margera and his two weird women slash lovers.

I don't know. One's a keeper and one's her wife. And Phil, Shane's dad is there. And Bam Margera can't get over the fact that his dad's name, his dad's name is also Phil. And he keeps, it's crazy, man, that your name's Phil and my dad's Phil. And Shane's your son. And we're from, like, pretty close.

Like, what are the odds to that? Yikes. Phil Gillis is on his like 800th beer, you know? I don't know. A lot of Phil's out there. Get your fill. It was awesome. Right, because instead of there being a limited amount of space backstage,

Shane could have a thousand people be his guests, right? So then you're all just able to wander and you have like a giant backstage area, right? So like, yeah, but Shane is, you know, such a homie and such like a, he loves his friend so much that his green room was just the hang so Shane's in there pacing at like at six o'clock they started this like countdown from 120 on the TV on the wall and like Shane's just pacing over there while like you know his cousins are coming in dude it just he just kept getting barraged it was like every time the door opened it was just like you know a water gun of people he didn't want to talk to or need to talk to you before the biggest thing he's ever done.

Yeah. He's just like very graciously being like, oh, what's up? Uncle Ricky? Like, how's your knee? You know, like he made, it was, I can't say enough good things about him, the production yesterday. I only cried once. National anthem.

National anthem, man. No, no. No national anthem got me. I'll tell you what it was. I got to tell you the whole thing in chronological order. Okay. Because the whole lineup will blow your fucking mind. I get there and I'm in an Uber from the Sheridan Philadelphia airport.

My flight's delayed. So I go right from the airport, right to my hotel, drop my shit off. And then I'm like trying to get there by six to meet my manager for the first time ever in real life. Never met her. You know, she's currently a force in the sales of my life. it's like, I'm very, very happy that she's taking me. And finding a doctor sucks and take it to me. I'm married to one.

All right. And when we play hide and seek, she keeps me guessing for hours. I really. Becker, what's your face? And Lund's light went weird, but it's all good at corrected. Don't make any faces. Don't you make any faces at me, Becker. Why, are you jealous that I'm married to the doctor?

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Thanks, Zock, doc, for sponsoring this message. But I get dropped off. Like the Uber driver is like pissed because he didn't know anything was going on at Eagle Stadium. So he's like, what's what's going on, buddy? I don't know what to do. And I'm like, yeah, I don't know either, man. If you can just like drop me off by like L, like lot L is where I need to go. And he's like, oh, God.

And he's like, we see Q and it's like counting backward and he's pissed. So I just hop out at one point. And I'm not thinking because I'm bumming this dude out. So I hop out. But I do that I hop out in like the middle of a fucking tailgate. Like I'm in the parking lot. Everybody is the only, yeah, where everybody probably knows who you are. It's the only place on earth where I'm a legitimate celebrity.

Yeah, right. Like, no other population density knows my name. Yeah, dude. Your stats. It was so stupid. Like I hopped out and was like, all right, thanks, man. Then I'm just walking. And then immediately, is it Sam?

Sam, holy shit, it's Sam Talon. And then a bunch of people who were like, you know, They have those beer helmets on, but they're pony kegs. They're just animals. They're tailgating for a comedy show at a football stadium. So that took me about like 20 minutes to navigate through the parking lot. And at one point, one of the security guy, like some guy who works there, not even security, but like maintenance is like, holy shit, you're Sam Talent. And I'm like, dude, can you get me a fucking cart?

Like, I got to get out of here. So he's now. People are tearing. Radioing for a cart. I was scared, man. They're gnashing. Yeah. Like, I can't, I don't have it. I don't have that skill yet that like super famous people have. And I hope I never need to get it, you know, of like, hey, I'm in a hurry or fake phone call. As soon as someone wants a picture, I'm like, I'm trying to move. I'm like, walk with me. And they're like, no, no, wait for, wait for Jimmy. Jimmy's in a wheelchair. Monica's asleep in the truck, but we hit her with Narcan, so she'll be right out. So it's just, it's Philadelphia.

comedy drunks on me. They've been there since like 11. Yeah. It's six. So that was gnarly. That was more of the gnarlier. Like, I got to stay in the shadows, man. You're back in Paris with our known.

Yes. Why aren't you on tires? What was Howie Mandel like? Why was he rude to you? Stop, Rose. Stop rose! Oh, it's the other one. It's chasing me.

You look sick. You look like you're dying. Let me get a picture. Hey, you look weird. Give me a picture. You're gross. What's your fucking deal? Hey.

Why are you such a fag online? There's some of the best people that get caught by. I got dropped in the snake nest. I finally make it up there, and I'm relieved to see it will call Tom McCusker, Spud, and Tom's wife. And Lund, I got to tell you, something that really brought me joy is how many times yesterday I got to ask, where's Lund? Why isn't Lund here by people that you would never assume Tommy Pope, Chris O'Connor, Spud, of course, Billy McCusker. Like, so many, where's, Le Maire Lee, Sean Gardini, Drew Montefi. Montana, everybody. Where's Lund all night long?

It doesn't make any sense. I don't know, Shane. I met Shane twice. So what? I'm supposed to hang on you. You sneak me in. Of course. Yes. A hundred percent. They just assume that you would have barnacled yourself to me and made an appearance. I'm not a climber. If I lived in Philadelphia or Detroit, maybe, but yeah, I'm not going to see you in Philly, Sam, so that we can both be backstage in the way. Well, you would feel in the way for sure. Oh, man. Me and Devante Smith. Yeah, you and Jordan Milata. Dude, Jordan Milata bit a can of athletic brewing company beer in half last night at the bar. Who is that? Former Eagle.

You know Jordan Milata? Yeah, the left tackle from Australia that the Eagles, like, found in the rugby system and turned into like an all-world guy. He's dude, that motherfucker's got to be six foot 10. I mean, I don't know if I've ever been around a bigger man than him. It was really, all the NFL players were very cool. I think Bryce Harper was there. I didn't know like all the non-football players. Oh, dude, sorry.

I'm just gushing. But do you want to hear the best prank that was almost perpetrated last night? Yeah. Yes. Dude. Sacked up. On shame. No, but I, but no, but I, before Shane went up there as he was like walking by and everyone was dapping him, I went for this and then hit him with the fake sack tap. That was my contribution to his anxiety.

Literally as he's about to walk out there, I faked him out, which I thought was good. Yeah. He was spending a lot of time near me, Matt McCusker and Nick Rochefort as he was like pacing in the tunnel. And, uh, and he was, I don't know, man. It's weird. It's weird to see someone like, obviously we're. clowns and nothing's to be taken too seriously. But to see someone's game face, like, you know, like that mask of war that like he put on when they put on his promo video, like I saw his eyes change.

Like I saw like the lines and the contours of the flesh of his countenance. Like it was very much like a shark. Like it's time for business. Very impressive. As a jock, I was like, fuck yeah. Go get him,

baby. Um, and then I'll give you the lineup, but this was my favorite prank. Devante Smith is in there and the head coach of the Notre Dame fighting Irish football team. And they kind of look alike. All right. So, Kyla and Brian Six are there, who I haven't seen in a while.

And they're both always a load of fun. And, you know, Kyla's always telling me to stand up tall. Like, she's always trying to fix my posture because her dad was really tall. And he would always bend over to talk to people. And she's like, stand up tall. It's not your fault. It's like you fall. You can't fucking hear me.

You far away. So Sixer tells Big J. O'Kerson, Hey, man, you're wearing the Eagles jersey. Sorry, dude. Devante Smith and the head coach of Notre Dame

are in there. But the head coach of Notre Dame has more of a passing resemblance to Jalen Hertz. Big Jays is wearing a Jailen Hertz jersey. Beezer comes up and says, hey man, you're not going to go talk to him. You're wearing his jersey.

And points. it the head coach of Notre Dame. Notre Dame. I don't think it's Notre Dame. Notre Dame. Yes. Yes. Notre Dame. Yeah, I like to put some stink on it because it pisses off Shane. So, yes, Notre Dame.

And so he's a, so Big Jays, like, you know what? You're right. I can't be a pussy. And he's about to walk up to the fucking head coach of the Fighting Irish in front of all of his players, the guy's wife, Gillis, Gillis's dad, and be like, hey man, I'm wearing your jersey. I thought I'd come

say hi. You know, huge fan. I love you. Go birds. And then it would be revealed that he wasn't Jalen Hertz and he was a different black man. But the angels opened up and fucking I overheard Big Jays agent

run up to him and say Jason, good news. You got a call back on the cartoon. And then like took him aside and like totally interrupted and Beezer goes oh fuck who's that fucking guy? Fucking jago. off in the polo shirt you fucked me we had him we fucking had him

so that was a lot of fun damn yeah I know it would have been and I was the only one who was privy to it because I was just standing there okay you want to hear the lineup yeah okay here we go start to finish at 755 um bam margera is live projected from backstage and you can see it on all the big screens, you know, and Shane's in the middle in the round. So like, no one's up on stage right now. But on the big screen, it's like, all right, folks, I can't do the fucking Philly accent as I learned over and over again this weekend. Not for lack of trying. I tried it a bunch. I mean, and dude, I tried to explain to Emily why I was so tired today. Like, I got there at like six last night and had to fight through a throng.

And then immediately until like 2.30 a.m., it was either grab ass, dick taps, fake pantings, nickel, nipple twists, bits, goofs, gags. Was Chris from the blur in there? Yeah, he was there. Yeah, he was not sure. Bean dipping. Uh-huh. Or it was like heavy moments of like pride and like, you know, happiness for your friend and like just the moment that you're in. So it was very heavy. So at 755 he says, all right, you motherfuckers, like shut up, sit down, you know, no photography, no flashing. We're going to beat the shit out of you if any of you guys act up. Like we're all going to whip your ass, right, everyone. And then hits him with the first E-A-G-L-E-S. Crowd goes nuts. And then he says, all right, now here's Phil. Cuts to Shane's dad. Shane's dad is up there. And he's like,

Thank you everybody for coming. He's wasted. He's pink. Thank you everybody for coming. And here's the world premiere of the season three of Tires trailer. They show that on the big screen. Everyone loses it. Pretty cool so far.

You know, two celebrities and, you know, Van Margera. Then the Blue Angels fly over the stadium. Yeah, I saw photos. Four fighter jets fly over. And it's revealed that these fighter jets were from World War II and they've been restored and that one of them carried one of the bombs over that they used. So, anyway, fly over. And then on stage, who appears?

Jason Kelsey. Jason Kelsey's up there. hits them with the second EAG-L-E-S, a recurring theme throughout the evening. Everyone loses it. He chugs a beer. He's doing his best like Stone Cold Steve Austin. The fans love it. Everyone's fucking stoked.

Pretty awesome. All right. Now it's probably time for some comedy, right? Oh, this was a fun moment. Sorry, I'm dominating. I don't care at all. This is great. I got my two-liter story out and that's all I had.

Okay. Well, yeah. I mean, save it for the Patreon, the real juicy. stuff. So he, Jason Kelsey, goes off script because Shane's standing right next to me and Shane starts saying, oh, fuck, no.

He's riffing. Then No. Kelsey's doing Shane's credits. Like his bio. Yes. As if he's about to bring him on. Oh, yeah.

No. No one you can kind of feel that like the guy fucked up. He's in front of 77,000 people. He's flustered. He's wasted. He doesn't know what he's doing. He's not a comedian. Oh, fuck. He's going to bring me on. Like that kind of thing. Yeah. We felt it on like much smaller versions of that scale.

So he's like, he grabs his manager. He grabs Grace, his assistant. He's like, what do we got to fucking cut his mic or whatever. So now me and Rochefort are standing there kind of like oh no. Is he about to fuck up the entire show? Like, is Kelsey gone

rogue and we have to take him down? We we have to rush the stage. But no, he pivots after this very nice, sincere, like, you know, every credit about he's from, you know, right over there. He's from an hour away. Like, really sincere, like, means a lot to the city. And I know what it means to mean a lot to the city, right? Folks, like that kind of thing.

Very stirring. But no, instead of bringing on Shane, he brings on Meek Mill. Philadelphia legend Meek Mill comes out, plays Shane's favorite song. song, maybe two songs. It was hard to tell because I told everyone I was like, I don't want to know what the fuck's going on. I just want to be here. So what do you mail those two songs? Everyone's losing it. People were trying to tell you what was going to happen. You're like, no, no spoiler. Yeah. So yeah, literally like you'd get there and like, you know, Lewis J. Gomez is like, hey, have you heard about the lineup? And I'm like, I don't want to know what thing. Yeah. It's more more fun than going on. More fun to not know. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I thought that sounded funny like you were being weird. weird about it. No spoilers. Yeah, I was being cute. Um, another bit. No, no. I just thought it'd be more fun. I bought the ticket. I want to take the ride. I'm Mark two, man, you know? I love spectacle. I love, I love the grand scale. You wouldn't sat in the cheap seats by yourself. No, I did not enter any other positions where I'd be recognized at all for the rest of the night. Because, dude, like,

like for the two hours after people got in people got in at six like for that two hours whenever we'd pop out the green room it directly was in the tunnel and uh people were just standing at the mouth of the tunnel and as soon as i'd pop out they'd be like oh my god sam picture picture like every time someone would open the door they'd be like lamare oh my god i need a lamare photo before i die i promised my dad people are fucking flipping out you owe me the mare's brother was there and people were like, oh my God, it's LaMere's brother. Get over here. It was fan fest

for the ultimate freaks. It was truly a trippy, surreal sitch. So Meek Mill does his thing. And then Jason Kelsey pops back up and says, you know, keep it going from my man Meek, the freak. Makes it squeak all week. You know, he's doing the voice.

So you're saying it, but it was insane, right? Because Jason read off Shane's bio but then introduce like so he fucked up and just he had a piece of paper in hand and it seemed like maybe he was going to fuck it up bring up Shane to then

introduce meek which would have fucked up the whole flow yeah there was just this like hair raising feeling of like you know 20 years in the business and Shane I immediately knew what he was worried about and then was proven correct that he was like fuck he's going to bring me up there because there was a whole you know

series of events Did somebody, next up, shoot him with a, shoot Kelsey in the neck with a dart that said, introduce meek Mill? Or he just, of course, he must have figured it out on his own. I don't think they make a dart that could take down old Jason last night. That's all I'm saying. This man was made of wood and a couple of years will be in the Hall of Fame. But I don't think he has to worry about, you know, 40-yard dashes or any of that stuff for a while.

He was doing some 12-ounce curls. Let's put it that way. Hell of a bowler. I bowled with him for a bit in the evening. Hell of a bowler. Allegedly knew who I was and thought I was funny. That's my read. I think you're just being a generous party guy, whatever.

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So Meek Mill, Jason goes back up there, brings on Matt McCusker. Matt McCusker goes up there. Crowd goes wild. But I think that someone forgot to flip the knob on like, meek Mills vocal setting and the comedy vocal setting because McCusker for the first like four or five minutes it seemed like they were you know live correcting the sound um there was some feedback issues that got us all kind of you know no I wanted to say anything but we were all aware of it and then I walked out into the area with out of the tunnel and it did sound better and then with a disguise and he finally got his first big pop and then he was fine it was all good you wore a mustache a wig. Yeah, I went out there and I was on the bottom and Rochefort was on top and I had a periscope so I could see out the trench coat.

Yeah, it was me and Rochefort, we're up to no good lesson. Charles was there. Well, Charles was on the scene from MDE. That guy was really cool. But so McCusker really did like a, he did a really nice thing for the entire show. He followed Meek Mill. The sound was fucked up. And also, like, he's the first one doing stand-up at this after.

Literally world record setting event. Yeah, with the stadium music. I'm sure it was fucking pump up the volume or whatever. Like, everybody dance, not C&C Music Factory, like 110 decibels. Because it was the gap band. Yeah. Yeah, that's tough. To follow Meek Mill in Philadelphia in a football stadium.

And then, all right. everybody please take your seats stop stop twirling your shirt over your head that's a carolina like matt like matt mccusker's not like a huge animated act he's one of the most like you know laid back just swinging by the office like he has a phil palisal energy to him yeah that's tough but it's really really tough and also like kelsey's up there but he's not doing schick he's doing like let's go birds like fuck the giant I'm going to chug another beer. Yeah, does the worm.

Does the worm, hand me a baby. I'll punt it into the crowd. Fipes his ass with a commander's towel. Yeah, it just eats his own shirt. Everything getting the most reaction you can imagine because. Yeah, it's just primal. Mm-hmm. So, McCusker goes up, valiant effort.

Definitely doesn't, but like he had, he was, I was, dude, it was just like, you're watching him. My whole, my whole, like, I had to like pace around during McCusker because I was like, it's the audio, but he thinks he's bombing in front of the most people to ever see anyone do comedy. Like, this sucks for him. Like, I felt bad for him because it wasn't his fault and it was like the audio people, but they fixed it. He got off.

It was solid. But I'll tell you what, man, you want to talk about one of the best performances I've ever seen, anyone do stand up. Big J. O'Kerson was a virtuoso on display last night. That motherfucker got brought up by Jordan Milata and I think Bryce Harper. Because, you know, Kelsey was, I don't know. They were like, all right, Jason, good work out there.

Right. He's gas. He's gas. He did all his stuff. He's gas. He used all of the stuff. It's not like he can win the Super Bowl again. Yeah, this one's for John.

He played the hits. But man, Big Jay. Big Jay went out there. and like sat on that stool in front of 77,000 people and did his thing. And he was fucking killing within the first two sentences. And his opener was about being from Philly and how women in Philly in the 80s and 70s had huge bushes. And people are dying. And he talks about going to the pool as a kid and he would have goggles.

You know, so he could peep people's bushes underwater and how his friends would be like, you're fat. And they'd be like, all right, man, I'm going to go sit yoga style on the bottom of the pool in front of your mom's pussy for the next 20 minutes. And it's and I'm watching it. And I'm standing with Rochefort. And I tell him, I just keep saying, wow. Wow. And Rushford was there.

Yeah. I kept telling, I kept going up to fucking Jay and Joe de Roaston and be like, dude, all the stars are here. Fucking Rodney Pete's here. And they'd be like, really? And I'd be like, yeah, you're selling concessions. God, did you see Randall Cunningham? Yeah, he drove Shane. He was Shane's driver.

Yeah, everybody's just hanging out at the stadium. If they've played there at all, they still have a key. Oh, yeah. I mean, a lot of them live there. It was, hats off to Big J. And how long were these sets? I think Matt did 10 and Jay did like, it felt like 15. Right.

Matt may have done 15. Right. But it was like. And it wasn't like it wasn't impenetrable. Like he definitely, it was just an echo to it. And once that subsided, he did a very good job. And man, Big Jay. Like I've seen like the best cello player in the world.

Like I've seen some people do really like stuff really well. But man, I watched Jay just in the pocket in front of all those people. And he's the second person to ever do it in front of this many people. And also like the first guy, there was technical difficulty. that made it look scary and harrowing for a portion of it. Yeah. Shout out to Big J. I've seen a lot of comedians do really well in some bad circumstances.

But you know when you see like a bar hack like crush in Wyoming and you're like got to respect it? Imagine if that guy was like actually good in doing something admirable. Like that feeling you have in that moment, but it's like it's a victory that you're celebrating. Right. Instead of like for the art form. Not the loss. Instead of a car crash. Yeah. It was, I just have nothing. I haven't been that impressed with anyone doing stand-up in a long time.

You see me almost every weekend. I see you, you know, and I have that notebook and it's just filled up with checkmark after checkmark. Every time you get a laugh, I just put a check mark in there and I need to get a new notebook like in between shows sometimes. That would be insane. That would scare me if I found that notebook. It's like that, remember I have that piece of paper that where you signed your name, Sam Lund, a bunch of times. Oh, yeah. That was pretty freaky. Yeah, yeah. I still have that, I think.

It was funny. Yeah. Okay, so Big J, great job. Not great job, like an exceptional job. Crazy. As a professional, I really admired what he did. And then they're like, all right. It's time for Shane.

Dunk contest. That's when his face changes. Yes. It's a wet t-shirt contest followed by Joey Chestnut. I'll eat anything for 10 minutes. People are throwing batteries. If it lands on the stick. I have to eat it.

A shoe. Someone's wig. All right. He's not stoked about it. Like July 4th is normally, like, you know, he has the rest of the month. off, but is people signed him up for this without him really paying attention?

He's in the geek pit. He's not happy about it. There's baby chicks. People are throwing baby chicks up there. He's eating them all. It's like an iguana. Joe C. Someone chugs Josie up. He actually had a 10-foot dick, and Joey has to eat it all.

He has to eat the whole thing. Some of the dick is hanging off the stage. It doesn't count. Fuck you. We'll kill you. It's attached. My lotta's there, like threatening to rip him in half if he doesn't eat all of Josie's dick. Van Margera comes up and eats it.

It saves his career. He's bad. Oh, shit. So and then it was time. It was time. And old, old Seamus went up there. And, you know, it was the risen Christ.

100%. It was exactly what those people wanted and exactly what everyone wanted him to do. And he, he wailed. And it was, it was, oh, I was just so proud of him. Just so proud of him. And while he was up there, you know, I'm becoming emotional. And, you know, Joey Chestnuts making himself throw up. and I hate that I'm seeing how the sausage is made.

I thought he kept it in, but no, he expels it all. And then Shane does like a half hour or so, maybe a little more. And then he's like, all right, guys, all right. I'm going to do something else. And everyone's like, what? And he brought out Chappelle. And him and Chappelle, you know, rift for like 20 minutes, maybe a little more. And it was just Chappelle being like super sincere and like nice to Shane.

and then like Shane being like yeah all right thanks and then Chappelle Byron Allening Shane and being like do Trump and then he would do Trump and then Dave would say something very nice and then Shane would be like all right thanks man and then he'd be like all right do Trump again but do like Trump as J.D. Vance. All right. Yeah it was just a lot like pimpe your partner stuff but it was very cool and I going up to all of his Shane's old friends who were standing by me and saying just whisper in

their ear and be like you guys did open mics together. Think about that. Yeah. Think about that, Lund. Like imagine somehow in some bizarre universe, I'm up there, you open and we met it, you know, fucking whatever, wherever we met. I can't remember. It was very, it was very sweet. Yeah. We You met at Oriental Theater. Yeah, but no, it was just like... That's when you remember me was fat Charles Manson outside of the Oriental. Yeah. So that was very, very sweet, and it just felt like a big victory and a celebration.

And then, once they're done, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, 3-6 Mafia. Three-six Mafia came out and played all the hits and everyone lost their mind. And, yeah, it was... there was giant fireworks that exploded all over the sky that he paid millions of dollars for, I assume. He talked about it on his party. And Diplo DJed. And I think the funniest thing that happened all night was Diplow is out there DJing for a while.

And no one gives a shit. No one's listening. Everyone's, you know, pulling pud. And Shane goes on stage and takes the microphone and says, hey, everyone. This is Diplo in like points. And no one gave a shit. Not one single person cared at all that it was revealed that Diplow was the man behind the sunglasses spinning on the ones and twos. And that was probably the, that made me laugh so fucking hard.

I was standing with all the McCuskers actually. And when that happened, I fell out. And I tried to explain why it was funny. And they didn't laugh. But damn, it got me. Shane was trying to just give him, get him the pop, right? Yeah, to be nice to reveal, hey, by the way, this is Diplo. Like, that's pretty cool, right?

Right. Everyone, you know, Diplo, but no. No one pivoted from whatever they were doing to, no, not even a clap or a woo. Yeah. It was almost as if it was a prank or they were filming it. It couldn't have been more textbook hilarious, but didn't register with anyone else. Well, I'm wondering, like I get Meek Mill. He's from Philadelphia, but the rest of the choices are funny for Shane, for people who love Shane.

I'm guessing the, I'm guessing it was a pretty white crowd, right? So you have 3-6 mafia because they're, say, management or something? Like, I don't get it. No, no. Because Shane wore a ridiculous t-shirt on one of the old Matt and Shane. Yeah. It was the 36 green skull t-shirt. on flames,

flamed out, and he wore it on several episodes. And people made fun of him online, and it was revealed that it was 3-6, and he said that 3-6 is cool. I like 3-6, like, fuck you guys. Like, I'm glad I have the shirt. And then I think 3-6 reached out,

like, and commented on something, like, you're the man, we stand with you, like, white boy. Right, now that's- And then I think they built a relationship. And the big thing last night was, once 36 went on, I was, I was, you know, all the, everyone who was been working on this thing were all like women.

It was all the women who like, do, we're doing all the work all night. And they were like, all right. If Juicy Jay goes on, we did it. Juicy J goes on, we did it. And then Juicy J went on and they were like, fuck yeah. And they took their bras off and burn them. You know, they were just like, that was it. As long as JuC.J went on stage, they had no more fires to put out.

So hats off to Grace and Becky and Natalia and everyone involved. It was really, it was really a spectacular. It was a momentous occasion without hyperbole. Yeah. Yeah, it's cool you were there. I was glad to be there, man, goofing around, not blowing it. Was there some random, like, old comic or celebrity where it was like super funny that they were hanging out? Bam.

Yeah. Bam. Bam, Margera. Yeah. He looked very funny in that picture. He looks very small, just small. And I thought that he got big. or he's very small small again yeah he was really small and he didn't know how to like charge his phone

and his like his screen was all fucked up and he couldn't text and then they got him a new phone somehow like halfway through the show or it was his wife's and then that one was fucked up by the end of it too yeah so he's he's he's always dropping the ball oh bam well so yeah sorry this was a sam heavy episode but i just wanted to pay my respects to what was truly a big night and I felt really lucky to be there and to be so close to it. And when I left, I said goodbye to everyone. And man, a lot of really nice stuff being said. Shane like held me in the middle of the dance floor while Diplow was playing Cotinai Joe.

Yeah, it's just surreal. The whole thing's weird. But good for him. I'm glad I didn't have to work at all. Right. Yeah, for once. You just got to be a guy at a thing. Well, still with some amount of visibility, but yeah, but without the actual need to lock in or whatever to just be able to be a spectator.

That must have been nice. Crazy. You sure was. And you know what's going to be nice to seeing you guys again? Yeah, I'm excited. All right. I love you guys. I'm going to try and get to the damn.

pool or the lake i mean god's pool god's pool love you bye