Chubby Behemoth - Letters To Rosie O’Donnell

Episode Date: April 27, 2025

SPONSORS: Factor - Support the show and get 50% off your first Factor box, plus free shipping. Use code CHUBBY50OFF at https://www.factormeals.com/CHUBBY50OFF   Hims - Support the show and start your free online Hims visit today. Head to https://www.hims.com/CHUBBY   BONUS EPISODES: https://www.Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth   This week the boys are in a van on their way to Omaha from Iowa City. Nathan would be the last one, tells the boys about a new wrestling crew, and realizes his Dad may have lied to the family. Sam is excited by short hair mullets, doesn’t know why he is so horny, and wants Casey’s Pizza to start a chipping program.   Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   Mutiny Coffee: [e-mail]

Everybody and welcome to what? Hey everyone welcome to can you repeat yourself? Hey, if you like background noise, this is the episode for you if you like background on What kind of vehicle we're in? Just listen the hum. Hey, why don't you drive instead of turning around and texting? drive instead of turning around and texting. Travis. Fuck. Today stinks. We'll figure it out. A lot of people said, hey, we don't like when there's a bunch of background noise, but a small and more vocal minority said, we love background noise. So for a long time, we've been catering the pod to the people who don't like any kind of loud you know it kind of sounds people have said it sounds

like you're inside of a tractor well some people like that and that's what we're doing today we're bringing you the sounds of tractors some people grew up on a farm they want to go back to that time yeah yeah oh So yeah, we're what I'm gonna long We are humming along In well, I guess I should shout out the sponsor and the driver Travis with Garner guns We love Garner guns. They're guns for non-racists Travis. That's good. Get that gun. Did you? You got the gun, right? Alright, nice.

Becker, hand it over. No, let's not brandish a weapon on the interstate. We're two minutes in already. This is a weapon. Microphone? Okay. This thing kills fascists. Yeah, our podcast probably made at least one fascist laugh hard enough to have an aneurysm, so that's good.

Yeah, who knows? Hopefully we're making everyone laugh, that's what I say. Not to an aneurysm though. No, I mean, hey, if you die laughing, good on ya. Yeah, that would be a good way out. Let us know. I will be occasionally miking myself as I blow my nose as loud as anyone ever has hey yeah I'm gonna do that off mic right now all right we're

like 15 minutes 20 minutes outside of Iowa City on our way to Omaha had a very fun show last night in a very unlikely we've been doing this long enough when we showed up to the basement long tables every light on you could imagine concrete floor weird layout white plastic chairs white plastic chairs uh buckets of beer i thought you know it could be good because you do this long enough and you realize that anything is possible some people just make shit work you know and sure enough we had a hell of a time we had fun I walked in thinking it was pin me pay me yeah I was like okay you want me to do how long so I'll do five less than that and then we all get out

of here yeah I don't have to go stand in the back and sell merch Travis knock it off Travis documenting we brought on a driver for this trip we've made it back and sell merch. Travis, knock it off. Travis, documenting. We've brought on a driver for this trip. We've made it. Cause no one in our crew knows how to drive at all. Yeah. So we brought in a professional. And Becker's not secretly jealous about it whatsoever. I'm not, I like doing this.

Yeah, but you'd love to be driving this 41 year old vehicle. Yeah, that would be exciting. Yeah. What's this thing called? The Widowmaker? The Bo-Vill. The Bo-Vill.

Bo-Vill. Bo-Nix. Quarterback. Yeah. I can hear most of the words you guys say. I was a little worried that the show, as opposed to being like bad, like quiet, was going to be a bloodbath, like drunken heckling, fight our way out.

But no, everybody had a really nice time. Also Sister Hazel is going to be there next weekend, I think. So that's fun. They had that one song, All For You. Yeah. Wonder if you will it all with you. That one, right? Yeah. Is that? That was Sister Hazel. If you knew it Yeah There's that

That was sister hazel hard to say what it is out seeing you wonder if I'll always be with you Well, I was incredibly hard. I can't do show you were horny. Yes, huh? I was up there thinking I could probably have anyone in this room, man or woman. That kind of carried over into my slumber. That was like cold medicine, I think. Yeah, for sure. You were stuffed up and chubbed up. You were funny, but I don't know if you were forced anyone in here to blow me.

Not forced, but- I wouldn't have to force anyone. I know. Yeah. I was getting really, really torqued up there. Yikes. I know. I was getting really, really torqued up there. Yikes. I know. I liked when they finally killed the lights for the last minute and a half of your set.

That was great. Well before the show started, there was all the lights on and then the host got up there, all the lights were still on and I was like, God damn it, here it is, hell gig. But then they turned most of the lights off. And I figured that would be everything they could turn off since they went and touched the light switches and dealt with it. But then no, at the very end of Sam said,

it got much darker. Yeah. God damn it. It was like seven minutes in heaven then I got off stage. Well, it's a new venue. They've only been there for 31 years. So they're still figuring it out, all the little kinks that come along with it. Before this we didn't have a floor yeah we did not have a floor in here for the first 10 years there was a pulley system

elaborate rope net system it was touch-and-go but yeah that now they are gonna have Sister Hazel and 31 years too late. John Caparulo. He was already there. It's pretty much if you liked VH1 in 1999, this is the venue for you. Bringing in everyone who, you know, Caparulo of course commented on I Love the 90s. Probably on Sister Hazel. Yeah. What the hell was that? I loved I Love the 90s. Probably along sister Hazel. Yeah. What the hell was that?

I loved I Love the 90s. I don't know what that was. It was like a trailer in the dirt. Travis, what was that that you had to take a photo of? What did you just take a picture of, sir? A planter. They had a planter on a tractor mounted vertically into the air. They had a planter on a tractor mounted vertically into the air, and had a planner on a tractor mounted vertically

into the air and our driver almost rolled the van. I love when a good planner comes together. Nice man, remember planners? Did you guys have to have planners in high school? What do you mean? The cheese puffs? Oh yes, yes, yes. No, no, they would like give you a planner,

like a daily planner. Yes. To try and teach you how to like organize your time. And it was the first thing that went in the trash. It wasn't even halfway through second period, day one, and you just heard them thumping in the can. And they were like, we are gonna be doing planner checks, and people are like, no, you're not.

School sucks, trust me. You're not doing shit that we don't want you to do. Kids rule. I don't know if you read the addendum, but kids rule. You will not replace us. Us kids. You're open to become you? No way.

Sexless apprentice? Yeah, I was on stage last night thinking, God, it'd be great to just get off stage, go out to the van. Just point at somebody. For real, dude. You're with me. Just go out there and get like, there was a girl there last night who had a weird like short-haired mullet, and I was like,

you are my birthright. Jeez. Oh, fuck. You wouldn't be the first. Obviously I would never do that, but man it'd be cool like now that I have some success You get off stage and be like oh right you well Doc Martens And you imagine yeah, cuz we've talked about how crazy it's been when we were single when we weren't a Big deal at all we were just funny and no money in in town right doing well in an open mic at 1 30 a.m. on Tuesday raining panties funny and you know

pursuing your dream was carry sandbags flash floods so yeah let alone this oh Oh, dude, just walk off stage. Hey cat eyeglasses on your back Walking past the merch booth like holding hands with some like oh, yeah walk out to the van Travis is in there Cranked thinking big like who's this guy? I'm like shut up. I'm gonna sell my shirt, but walking by the merch stand See you in eight minutes, fellas. Everyone's like. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Goo.

Every dude's like, goo. Yeah, I walk by, goo. Ha ha ha ha. That'd be awesome. Yeah. I can have whoever I want now. I can have you. No, you could not.

You for sure. No, I could. You could buy and sell me? Just saying I could have you. Ha ha ha. Hit me, baby. You have all fours. An apple in your mouth. No, I'd you could buy and sell me to say that I could have you Apple in your mouth. No, I'd be the last one. Yeah, you would be the holdup Only one left and you're and you can't have it and it drives you insane. You're the baby for lost profits

This is this Jesus the second bus of kids going by No, I can't I will fall over if I stand up right there Oh, I forgot you're saying out just streaking is sexual assault. That's not the America. I grew up in no, it's bullshit So what countries upside down that's the same as in school where you get in trouble for like talking or whatever They just really want to clamp down on on people when they're young get them into an office job Planners and get sucked dry. Here's your planner Yeah, they're gonna forget had a dream plan the rest of your life right now. You're 17 girls loved planners Yeah, oh my god. It's like I could name you ten girls whose whole identity was had the best planner Oh my god, it's like, I can name you 10 girls whose whole identity was, had the best planner.

But y'all got the same wood. Yeah, but then they would get in there with the gel sparkle pen. Okay. You know, really, some girls had like every half hour, there was a girl who had every half hour of her day, like written out every day. All right.

It's like, you're in class for an hour 15, four times a day. My planner would have had the same thing for about 20 minutes third period English class junior year get a boner yeah and then freak out wondering if it's gonna last until you have to get up and go to your next class yeah that sucks I mean I was that was me on stage last night I didn't care if everyone knew I had a boner that cold medicine is making me Randy yeah I have been well I don't want to tell you this care if everyone knew I had a boner. That cold medicine's making me randy. Yeah.

I have been, well, I don't want to tell you this. Oh, well. Since I've been taking that cold medicine, I have been eating more and... Cranking. Cranking. Oh, yep. Exploring your body.

I cranked once a day during this bout of illness. Well, Emily was also gone. Yeah, but I don't crank. I'll go a week without cranking, two weeks. Yeah. This time I was like hey my paws can still reach the cheese. Yeah I was tearing at my little root. That's interesting too because you don't you're fighting a cold so your body is kind of weakened or distracted so it is kind of weird but also I don't know sometimes when you don't feel good. Weakened or distracted I didn't have to sneak up on my body to play.

No, but like it's doing other stuff. So it's funny to also get horny, get hard, jack off. Yeah. Also when you're tired from being sick, it's funny to jack it. But I used to always try to beat a hangover by jacking it. And it's usually would help a little, but. It works for seven minutes and then you're laying there

and you're like, oh, I don't have any more socks. Did I sneeze in this or come in it? I can't remember. Oh, I made a pinata out of my belly button again. Great. What the hell? Great. Yeah.

Made a pinata out of your belly button. How so? I like to put a bunch of Hershey's kisses in there before I pleasure myself. Before I gratify myself. Slap the belly, it goes up and into your mouth. Little catapult. Yeah, I don't know. The only thing that's missing, I'm happily married, I'm monogamous, I'm cool with that.

But the only thing missing when you're married to someone is that you can't flirt with people and I loved flirting you can flirt No, you know this bad. No, this is this is what is true. I think is that almost everybody has a very like weird Version of view of flirting which is that it's supposed to lead to sex It doesn't have to at all if I flirt with someone they're gonna want to fuck me. Yeah, but you then you don't. I'm yellow uranium over here No, but then yes, then you don't and then you have that excitement No, you you both have an excitement like oh we could fuck right now But then you don't and that should be enough, but everybody wants to go all the way and then oh, what do we do now? I guess I have to kill my wife so that we can keep fucking it's insane. Everybody's so dramatic

You really just could flirt and have a nice little time if you could have any control, but no wife's there I'm not gonna be flirting with some I didn't say your wife is there psycho You're putting you're putting your wife into the situation now wedding and it's like oh Wife is there and you flirt then you're being that's weird Yeah, or that's how you get you get your rocks off is that you flirt and then she gets mad, but you're all playing a game We're all playing a game Emily and I are playing game everyone else is a pawn right yeah, we're house of cards get used Yeah, you're Kevin spacey. Oh for sure. She's Kevin Sorbo Yeah flirting with such a sweet treat, man. And if I turn my gaze upon someone, guess what?

They're gonna be bummed if they don't get my crumb. Also- That's the truth of the matter. If I don't blast them, they go home disappointed. Yeah, everybody's gotta have it. I can't imagine how awful it is. If you're a girl with a mullet, you better stay away from me would you

ever keep your shirt on or no you'd always get all the way naked doing sex yeah it's not what they want you should probably have your shirt on I think no way sure with Kevin Sorbo on it yeah so they could really get get where they need to be I should wear sure that says you're welcome you're welcome for this sweet rod we're passing a fart factory better be a fart factory yeah that's bad you guys better not be doing a startup fart factory in here very sick hello sharks got an idea for a fart factory let me finish and they don't let you finish you're're just out of there. Yeah. Trap door.

Ha ha ha. Catapult. Into the fart factory. You'll regret this. Ha ha ha. You're leaving money on the table. Maybe tonight I'll flirt a lot more. Yeah.

But then people are gonna be like, Sam's, Sam Talent's a flirt? He's at the merch table winking and calling people honey Also, there's a big difference between I'm assuming you're flirting is hey you want to get out of here and fuck cuz you're a caveman No, you pull it back. Then you're then you're just being like learning is like That's yeah, you don't have to touch anybody either Brush their bangs back poke them in the eye. Yeah Bring your patches girls I don't know is like awesome I was so good at flirting think of all the sweet tang that I pulled down

somehow yeah it wasn't from like you know doing a bunch of chin-ups it was definitely from making them feel like they were the only person who existed eye contact oh yes eye contact knowing when to touch Yeah Poking them in the ribs. That's a big one What's the really fucking lube up that butterball that everyone needs jab them and they're like what the hell you're like, I'm everything baby I'm everything there is Oh, yeah Wet-willing a girl that gets her pussy wet. I'm telling you listen to me. Okay legendary poon wrang wet. I'm telling you, listen to me. Okay. Legendary poon wrangler.

I don't know why I'm so horny. And then last night I had a horny dream. Did you wanna be in your own room so you could jack off? No, it's cause I was hacking up giant remwads. Yeah. That's right. No, I didn't play, I didn't gratify myself last night. Dude, I went right to bed.

I wanted to hang out a little longer and I was like, nope, it's time. And I went and laid down and I fell asleep pretty damn quick. Yeah. So nine hours. Yeah. And I woke up and I had to just pull the rip cord on my parachute. How about that? But then you had to hold it cause Travis was in there. Travis was in there doing god knows what in the shower. And then he like popped out and was like, hey, you need to pee? And I was like, you know what I need? Get you out of there.

Yeah. He had driver body, he said, so he had to clean himself. Also, could you see my new body through the crack in the window? No. The window was open in the shower and I didn't realize it until I was really rub-a-dub-dub. Yeah, we heard it slam and we thought that

maybe the smoke was blowing in or something. No, it was me being like, cause I saw that little boy in the yard next to us and I just kept thinking about like, oh, maybe a child is out there being ruined forever cause he can see my ass and penis. No, they had like a black plastic coated screen that was thrown a glare so you couldn't see anything.

Black hole sun. Yeah, I've gotten worried about that in the past and it's not the same. Because it's the color it says, Becker. Right. It's not the same looking in as looking out. Looking in, you have to have like the perfect angle, you have to be close up, whatever.

Yeah. And then looking out, yeah, it's a window and you're right by it so you can see everything out of it but you'd really have to be dangling it out out into the yard yeah for the neighbor to see oh so you're fine I'm good you're not gonna get in trouble and they just be able to see like waist up anyway no cuz I'm taller I wouldn't stood by it to see exactly where it would be and my balls and penis were clearly framed in the front and center yeah damn yeah oh yeah Travis 197 197 is the egg that's what you weigh my name is Al Magordo and I

weigh exactly 200 pounds oh all right There's another layer five foot tall 200 pounds on the dot Shoes on or off if you'd like to know more about Al he's on our most recent patreon episode Yes, he two artists really support each other live on the patreon You did on the listen back it went pretty good I was nothing but supportive well everybody was supportive he played along white cheer all right yeah don't point stuff out 197 white cheer I don't know I can't hear him I can't hear you I don't know I'm supposed to hear him pointing out white places. I gotta blow my nose again. Oh good. By the way, listener, I'm putting in this great performance with a 130 degree fever.

He's cooking. You wish. I don't wish. Do you feel better or worse today? Are you over it or are you in the thick of it? No, I feel marginally better for sure. He sounds better. Yesterday there was like my head was jammed and I just had this kind of underlying like fuck everyone who's near me. Yeah. I was kind of ill.

You have no idea just how generous I am with my patience and love. I'm a Christ-like figure back here. Oh yeah? Yeah, cause there's times when I'm sick and I wanna, you know, just rip your ear off and feed it to your nose, but I don't do it't do it well thank you you've never been mad at me so you don't understand what I'm perfect in every way I feel like I've gotten

better at it the more the more we've been out I don't I don't go nuts as much. I try. And most of when people talk about that stuff, it was literally when you would say, the only time I can record is 11.30 a.m. on a Wednesday, and I bartend a Tuesday night, and I have to bartend Wednesday afternoon. So I would get mad. Yeah.

And everyone's like, oh, Lun's a real piece of shit. Now I'm kinda backed into a corner. I said most most the time I had to chew my way out. He is No, I'm cool. Good guy. Good cool guy cool guy X. You'd always come to my house. I didn't go to your house You're knocking on my door. You wanted to suck me. I'm 11 years younger than you What do you think that is deference it wasn't yeah your place over. What do you think that is? Deference? It wasn't. Yeah, your place was Mr. Wilson. Your place smelled like farts. So you had to get out of there. You had dishes everywhere. My place didn't reek. You had to get out of there. Oh yeah, and she was studying so you guys would have stink clouds coming off of your place. Everybody would think that a water heater had exploded.

You think you and Creech when you were still both boozing smelt good. We smelled great How's smelt good? I did dishes I'm saying I did dishes You guys did not we did this you guys did him once a quarter I paid you a quarter once to do my dishes confused 197 oh That's the thing about Alma Gordo's he always weighs 200 pounds he's never 197 lose weight he can't gain weight like in the movie speed he'll die yeah so it's

like pee while he drinks no no it's some kind of like who while he eats it's not based in science or okay any kind of like laws of matter or energy or when the Sun comes up he has to be 200 Or else exactly 200 or else he or else his heart stops. Yeah Man look at all those wind turbines. They should get rid of those and focus on cows Why are they diversifying? I think coal would be good out here. This should try to find coal or shale Works for West Virginia, it's a lot of big ol wind energy Hey, by the way, there's a bunch of used tissues on the ground over there

Don't pick them up stuff that they're taffy. Don't pick them up. You're saying don't don't rummage around You'll take care of them when we get out. No, no Travis's wife will take care of them in two and a half weeks So do you think that anyone can hear what we're saying, Super Producer Becker? I think I'll be able to clean out the road noise. Really should have made our Patreon the free one, huh? Probably. Yeah. Not too late. Our quality level is pretty low as it is, so this won't be like, oh my god, it's usually so good. We've been doing better. Oh, I have to navigate Travis though.

Travis, I'll navigate you. We're going right on V18 road. That's about two and a half mile down. Becker wishes he had a V18 engine right now. Yeah. Anyone who was V18 last night could have got it from me. That's all I'm saying. By V18 you mean U18 as in under 18? I mean very 18. Oh. I mean if it's their 18th birthday I will slam them. I know that I'm anti horny or whatever. Yeah all the time except when you're horny. I mean it's crazy. Yeah when

you're horny you love it. Keep going. Keep going there numby. When I'm even a little horny you're horny. I mean, it's crazy. Yeah, when you're horny, you love it. Keep going, keep going there, nummy. When I'm even a little horny, you're disgusted. Oh, you specifically gross me out. I don't know why you get so mad. I like when he's horny. Yeah, I know, you hate when I'm horny. Yeah, because you shouldn't be telling us about that. I don't mind.

I know, because you're much more sexually awakened than me. No, I'm not. I just think if you're horny, you're hornyny tell me about it. Yeah, let's talk about it. Yeah, I am right now I appreciate and allowing and also We've talked about how we don't like when someone when a guy is always horny because it's boring. It's like alright Yeah, no shit. You want to get laid I get it. I want to get paid I don't want to I don't want to hear about it. But if Becker is like hey man man I'm really wanting it it's like alright well let's see what let's see what we can do you should only

bring it up though if you want me to hire you a prostitute that's the only time you tell me is you're horny okay got those the girls who came over and danced for Mel's bachelor party yeah it would've been fun if it was 1953 and we all just banged them and didn't tell our wives forever So those guys party they were you know, they were fucking Fresno sixes They were down to clown. Oh What about did you see what's gonna be at that first Avenue Club In like September is

Little person dancers. Strippers? Little strippers. Yeah. They do strippers in there? Well I think it's dancers they probably keep their clothes on. It's the same squad as the wrestlers. Yeah they wrestle or they strip. Yeah. And the flyer, the promo had their pictures and then their heights above it, and the tallest was like 4'11", and the shortest was like 2'3". I can tell you who Al Magordo would've liked. Like a mini-me, like 2'3". Yeah, 2'3' is bad.

What, is the 4'11' one bad? Pair her out and put her in a booster seat? The 4'11' one had some gigantos. That's the thing, is like, I would not be hard for them. Why not? I don't know they never done it for me They're just I have a certain brother-in-law who thinks the dwarves are very attractive. They're not just women. That's insane certain brother Yeah, no like one Blind, huh? Yeah, I

Thought it was always just that hotel thing. It's really funny when Sophie gets jealous when Mel's like, did you see that mission? She was so hot. And Sophie's like, oh my god, in front of your wife? And it's like, that woman was three foot tall. So you're really going to get jealous about this? We're going left on Second Street. That guy's going to jump, huh? What's that guy doing?

Second Street's coming up. Is that guy jerking? Or jumping. But it was also like a hill it wasn't like a big old drop off so I think he was just surveying his trucks or something. And that will be then you take you go left at the stop sign and it's right there. He was looking at the land. He just loves trains. Yeah it was funny looking though I don't know why he was standing there right off the road. I asked a good friend of ours last night if she had any

pictures of herself when she was pregnant. Oh yeah so that was yeah that was based out of horniness. No it wasn't it was being funny. It was probably a little bit of both. I was flirting and it worked. flirting and it worked you got late I got totally late I mean my wife's good friend coffee shop center ground park it literally anywhere and those those two spots were too big oh man you should work there if they took the L off the store. Come on. That's where you should work, Lund. They sell flags.

It's the flag store. So that was a really good one to go out on. Oh you know what you should do? Podcast is over. I'm pro Schultz. And we're back. And we're back and we're black we're not I have cream in mind yeah me too and some crystals sugar crystals I should have done that but that kid made me so pissed that we had to leave why cuz he was wouldn't say a fucking word for annoying yeah look at us like we were human beings.

I thought he didn't respond to you when you asked about the cold brew. Oh he didn't. He didn't. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I was like, I'm going to go get a snack next door. I don't want to deal with this. Oh dude, I wanted to spike that kid.

Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to put him on the train tracks and tie him down. I don't know. He did say, yes we have cold brew. And then I said Yeah, right. Yeah, he was definitely annoying Lee like Sedated or something or it's just like chill. I know you live in Brooklyn I will chill zone you've never seen for absolute rock and rolls behemoths walk in here

But give us the credit that we're due Alright I'm horny kid all right I'm horny kid yeah no I when I asked him do you guys have the cream and stuff out or do you guys do it he was like hey look at me hey Beavis Sandor butthead oh Travis is talking with his hands. So we tried to go to a Casey's Pizza buffet. Nothing in there besides sausage scab pie. Yeah.

Becker, you said it looked unedible no matter what. Yeah, it looked pretty bad. Yeah. The breakfast pizza can be a little fluffier, I think, than the sausage. It's got that biscuit crust. I don't know if it does, but... I don't think it has biscuit crust.

It claims to have biscuit crust, but what it does have is eggs on it and gravy. I love all that. It's got gravy, eggs, and cheese. Yeah, it's like the Walmart one. And then you grab that thing and you fucking eat it outside by your work truck. Then you throw on that high-vis vest and you get out there and you dig for shale. Fuck yeah. You said Casey's Pizza Buffet. That's not a thing, right?

I think I've said too much. Edit that out, Becker. Hello sharks. I mean, dude, you should have an open door policy where you... It should be like when you go. Oh Joe esh telling us when you go to the bath house in Pittsburgh It's like eight bucks for an hour or ten bucks for 24 hours of access So you should just be able to like get your hand stamped at Casey's pizza Yeah wristband. Yeah wristband

For $11 all you can house Casey's Yeah, cuz you would want to spread it out if you had a long drive, eight hour drive. You could maybe eat it three times. I mean if there was a thing where it's like you can chip me. If I live in Iowa, Nebraska, you put a chip in me and I can just walk into any Casey's for like 30 bucks a month and eat whenever I want. Guess what I'm doing? 30 bucks a month and eat whenever I want. Guess what I'm doing? Dying alone. I'll never be horny again. That'd be good.

Casey's membership, yeah. The cure to hornyness is a Casey's Pizza Buffet membership. Yeah, that was unfortunate. I was hoping for a slice. Now we gotta go to some Chinese, I don't know about this Chinese buffet. The more I think about it, the more it makes me wanna hearf my own squiff. I don't know about this Chinese buffet. The more I think about it, the more it makes me

wanna hearf my own Squiff. I don't think we're gonna have a bunch of different options right off the highway to get in and get out. That's the thing, is we've got a trucker, a real deal, honest to God, over the road trucker, driving this thing, and he knows where every Chinese buffet is. If there's a restaurant that you can spit at

from the highway, he knows where every Chinese buffet is. If there's a restaurant that you can spit at from the highway, he knows where it is. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just saying, it's mostly gonna be fast food or very random, sketchy choices. I mean, you guys wanna talk about what decisions you made last night, or do you wanna let that slide? I had three Cajun crunch chicken sandwiches at Wendy's

You ate three The size of the football they use in third to fifth grade. Yeah, and which is it was delicious It's a word. Let's say hey, how's your food? Everyone didn't look up from your rappers. No, I was hungry Really a clinical task you part took in last night. It was so good Oh, I like that new mustard sauce and them crunchy onions quite a bit. Yeah. Yeah, I had one and uh Dave's double which it was huge. Yeah, I don't think I I wasn't expecting that but it was good And you had a salad and some grapes. No, I didn't know Wendy's had grapes. They don't, they have carrots. I did two junior bacon cheese, classic.

Yeah, no, those are good. That's all you should order from Wendy's. They used to be crazy good, but I feel like everything got a little smaller and a little less delicious. I think my hands got bigger, that's all that happened. I think that Wendy's, obviously the price has gone up but dude my dad will be like

Hey, buddy What do you want to do today? I'm like, I don't know He's like you want to drive to Castle Rock and go to Wendy's and I'm like dude, whatever you want Hell yeah, my dad in his 70s his idea of a big outing is hitting Wendy's. What does he get? he gets the double he gets the The junior bacon cheeseburger and then they have a cheeseburger deluxe. Remember that? a big outing is hitting Wendy's. What does he get? He gets the double, he gets the the junior bacon cheeseburger and then they have a cheeseburger deluxe. Remember that? Yeah. He gets two of those and he gets a fry. Lettuce, tomato. Yeah. Onion. The lettuce and the mayonnaise

at Wendy's and the lettuce. Onions. They say lettuce? Yeah. Lettuce twice. Yeah. Freshest there is. They're mayo rules. Nice chunk. great mail. I saw a video of someone making mayonnaise in their home, but it I Wish I could delete it from my memory with the eggs and oil Yeah, just the amount of oil that goes into a jar of mayonnaise. Yes, truly fucked and scary. It's nuts Yeah, but Miracle Whip's the good one. Oh Miracle Whip's garbage. Oh shut up garbage from hell Miracle Whip's the good one Duke's up. Garbage from hell. Miracle Whip's the good one. Dukes is the good one. Go sit up front with Travis.

Coupis the good one. Hellman's is like the good nation wide. You say Coupis? Coupi. Oh yeah, Coupi mayonnaise. Yeah. No shit. Dukes is the best.

Dukes is fine. Miracle Whip is also good. Miracle Whip is a sandwich spread. Yeah, it's awesome. It's not even mayo. It's frosting for your sandwich. Yeah, it's-. It's not even mayo. It's frosting for your sandwich Complaining you when I like the new mustard it's like her it up. I can't remember if I Prefer Miracle Whip. I don't think I prefer it. I think I think it's okay

If you're making I get upset by it you're making a Carl butting sleeve of meat 50 cent Carl butting craft singles Carl butting sleeve of meat 50 cent Carl butting Kraft singles Pepper Miracle Whip Fritos white bread. That's the best sandwich that okay I'll give you that but like you don't want Miracle Whip on a nice Italian or the fried chicken sandwich we had or Anything where it's gonna make it tonight taste off one say that I'm putting Miracle Whip on Italians All I said was Miracle Whip is good. Yeah, and you went Balderdash! Yeah, but it's good. Treason! Epostate! It's good on bad food It's good if you're poor. Yeah Yeah, it is

It's frosted. You guys weren't poor. Yeah, but the same way like Mrs. Dash sucks Unless you're eating Dollar Ramen and then Mrs. Dash rules What's funny about my upbringing is that there were, I think four years where we were seriously desperately poor. And then the rest of it was just like normal. That's right. Yeah, me. But there was like four years where my dad got all his money stolen by Bill Huff and it got sober. And at that same time, while my mom was going back to school to become a landscape architect,

it was like my grandpa bringing over Bags of bread the church would give away on on Mondays. Yeah, and we had like We had all the bread in the world. It was everything Safeway couldn't sell So we had all this crazy bread and then we had like delicious tarts and donuts And my grandpa would just roll in Mondays after school and that's like God ate so much trash food. Yeah, really out of the trash fill up Monday sick Tuesday, Wednesday Yeah, my dad was working at Walmart on loading trucks overnight Like it was a weird four years my sister never really remembers it but I do that's my sister doesn't remember us being broke at All well cuz then they sell her into prostitution no she's just three and a half years younger

than me so she was like five by the time it was over so we should remember my sister like remembers the house but she doesn't remember like only eating hot dogs for four days because they were on sale at fucking Kmart yeah a lot of ramen and kidney beans for dinner. Yeah, so I went to my grandpa's so much for dinner It's also why I have an affinity for like liverwurst and all the like weird shit My mom would splurge on for herself because it was the only Not same shit. We had every day stuff that would be in the home My grandpa would sit down with a can of those little hot dogs.

Viennas? Yeah, Viennas. And you could smash them in between your fingers and there was like, with zero give, they would disintegrate. My grandpa would be like, ow, ow. I've never liked those.

I forgot about that weird time when we were desperate. Yeah. And I was writing letters to Rosie O'Donnell saying, I never liked those. I forgot about that weird time when we were desperate. Yeah. And I was writing letters to Rosie O'Donnell saying, we're poor, we need help. Aw. And my mom found the letters and was like, oh god, that must have nuked her, dude.

She never expressed to me how much that must have fucked her up to find the little letters her fat son wrote who said, my name's Sam and everyone says that I've got the best smile in the world Writing Rosie O'Donnell cuz I would see her like Looking people up. Yeah, they give a thousand dollars to a family in distress I was like my mom works hard and my dad sure knows how to make us smile My mom just finding these things and why did you still I failed my family you were planning on sending them eventually or what? One of them I was like mom. Can you mail this for me? And she was like, what is it?

I was like, I wrote Rosie O'Donnell a letter Yeah Yeah, and I thought I was doing the right thing. Oh my god that breaks my heart. I just broke my own heart What did she do? You could just tell she was pissed. Yeah. Or like deeply embarrassed and ashamed. Yeah. Yeah. That her son was like, I know how I can pitch in, I'll write to the TV and ask for money.

I used to call it the TV. I still call it TV. Yeah. Back when I was a kid, I'd be like, I want to watch TV. And she'd be like, you're my my son you gotta quit saying it that way she called me a hillbilly all the time and then she would hit me with Hank Hill are you gay boy and it's like mom this is not good for me I'm not sure yeah do I have to know do I have to decide right now yeah sure he's out are you a boy I didn't

want to like take my shirt off at a boy-girl pool party. You had a tough time for a few years there it sounds like and you had a tough time earlier when you were allegedly forced into the back of this van. I caught myself. You didn't catch yourself, you fell. I fell twice. You fell a couple times and then your response was I fell twice. You fell a couple times and then your response was, the biggest guy here, and I finished it for you, and I said, was forced into the back of the van by his friends?

You didn't pick that seat, huh? Yeah, you guys burnt me with cigarettes and whips and chains. Get back there. Throw me into my bell tower back here. Get back there, freak. I was doing a Sophie, where you think it's funny to be like, the biggest guy there is

in the back of the van And it's like I chose and also want to be back here and maybe pissed if I was sitting anywhere else What that was was you? You've you know you've lost your footing or whatever and had to grab my thigh you were mad about it And that's why I got mad no well I said what the hell because it was because it was surprising that you were having a tough time getting back here. My hand was on your ball back. I pretty much fell like this into your crotch.

Whoa! And you were like, Colin Sarnit? What the shit? But no, I wasn't mad. I was just like, what are you doing? Like figure it out. Yeah. But yeah, you and your sister and I'm sure your friends

would pounce on any weakness or whatever. And so you got defensive and tried to make it sound like you were forced back there by us. I was the martyr. That's the whole thing. That's why my sister and my mom, if that's our biggest issue is we wanna martyr ourselves. We wanna lay prostrate on the rock so you can walk across us and then be like are your feet dry

I bet they are Yeah, so I caught myself and I was like it was awesome. I was like yes indeed Yes, you're right everything you're about to say I had to work the body a little bit. No, it's good. You do the right thing Nice. It's nice to you know see progress and that was me evolving Like I said before I gotta blow my nose. I've been getting I've been better about not being pissed all the time. Although when you guys came over

I wasn't super stoked that one time and you could tell but uh It's I think it's just because it was like work and home life bleeding together where you guys come over and we have to pod or whatever it's like you mean one time I came to see your new house in the church and you were a total jag about it it wasn't a total jag me and Becker kept fucking Jim and Pamming from the opposite each other as you were huffing around your house you were like, I guess you guys are here, huh?

It's like yeah texted you last night and you're also yeah No, you were in the wind or whatever as if well nobody can really know when I'll show up But no, no, yeah, no, it was annoying you were annoying about like I guess we're potting, huh? It's like yeah drove an hour and a half both ways so we can pot You're like yeah good. Yeah, that was very confusing. It made me worried that you had a gas leak I Wish I would I'm excited for everybody to not hear this but It out they're gonna hear it. They're gonna hear it. They're gonna love it. Yeah, so I mean if anyone can fix the audio It's the whiz kid over here, Jake Becker

It'll get it'll get good enough to hear you know what you might want to do what? Put out the other one as the free one. It's already out doesn't matter Then they'll get this one on the patreon and they'll move that one over to free. Nah, why I think this is gonna be good Well, let me listen to it before any Don't worry about it. Well, I want this thing to be a rousing success as it continues to be. It's really good. It's fine.

But I'm saying, I don't think it's gonna. They're gonna love this. They all love the. I don't think you have to overthink it. Yeah. And like, I don't know, manipulate whatever. The last one we did in the rental, they loved it. Yeah, but it didn't sound like we were inside

of a prop plane in the rental. It did until I cleaned it up. No, this is an insane amount of chatter and background noise It's gonna clean up a lot better than you think I believe it Travis said it's not gonna be a big deal He's up there watching texting Palmer squares videos knock it off He's allowed to text. It's his job Right, I don't know I don't either you come from truckers I figured you would know the rules Oh, well, I mean my dad couldn't text and

It was the 80s and 90s, but yeah Fair enough. I forgot that part. Yeah, we were on I was gonna say we were on food stamps when we moved to Nevada for like six months cuz my dad I don't know I don't He's gone and I don't talk to my mom so I'll probably never know but I'm curious what happened because he worked for McKesson Drug Company which did you get, you don't order your Manjaro from the same place I do right? I ordered from like a reformed dollar general in Texas. Yeah but so you got syringes and wipes right?

Yeah yeah. The Santa, or. I don't wipe. What are they called? The call the alcohol wipes. Those are McKesson drug really So I saw those and I was like, oh shit, you know, but yeah, my dad worked for McKesson in Illinois When we decided to move to Henderson He thought that there was a McKesson out there that he could work at and we moved out there and it had closed And I'll never understand who fucked that up. You it was 94, so there's no like real internet far and wide, but there's phones, there's just the ability to know.

I don't know what the fuck happened. But like we drove, we moved. Also the McKesson in Chicago would be like, yeah, we set you up with a job at the one in Nevada that we talk to all the time. Your dad lied to your family. Your dad got fired for being drunk behind the wheel or Getting sucked off by a pro probably in the truck and then he's like, yeah, we're gonna move out to Nevada

There's a McKesson out there then he gets there and he's like what the heck this place is closed What are we gonna do might have killed a lot lizard in Chicago. So he had to bail. Yeah for sure It was really it didn't make sense. I mean that just sounds like a guy who got away with a lie because he could back in the day. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe I'll ask Kim if she knows anything because it was confusing.

I mean, there's no possible way he moved out there and loaded up his entire family and was like, there's a job waiting for us. And then he got there and was like, closed. Huh? Well, hey, what are you gonna do? Yeah, I don't know. You for sure turn around and go back to your old life if you're not expecting there.

They wanted to get out of, both my parents wanted to leave Chicago. You were listening to? We talked about it. Too much music? No, there was music in Nevada too. No, I remember the story. I remember how to drink out of a straw. Hey, focus up there. No, I'm looking at you. I'm back here in Nevada too. No, I remember the story. I remember how to drink out of a straw.

Hey, focus up there. No, I'm looking at you. I'm back here in the cage. You wouldn't last a minute back here. Against your will. Yeah, it sucks back here. Only one of us is strong. What are you looking at, Geppetto?

You got a new puppet? No, I'm looking at times and stuff and I was about to be like, does one of you want to pull up an ad read? Oh, so I think we're gonna have to put that ad read in the other episode that we put out for free. I'm positive we're not. Okay put that ad read in the other episode that we put out for free because positive We're not okay. Well, hey

That's fine. I'm just ahead. Yeah, it's gonna work No one can tell me no Wish that was the case There's actually two Two old favorites like I'm making 60 bucks this week We're gonna get more money from them. The numbers are through the roof. Yeah.

We're skyrocketing. Well, I'll tell you this. Grocery store runs can seriously break the bank. Is that where you shart at the grocery store? You gotta buy new undies? There's a run on diapers. Especially when you go in for a gallon of milk and leave with 17 bags of chips and king-sized candy bars oh they're describing you that is me that's

not me I think at home without I wanted you're the king said I go in too high well Elliot Woolsey's closer and a lot of other guys anyway Factor is here to make sure you're eating well without destroying the budget. Dude, if Factor was real, if it was the robot we've described, it would sound like this van. That's right. Yes. The meals are already prepared for you. So all you've got to do is throw them in the microwave or on the skillet for a quick two minutes. You have a fat core? Well, Factor is here for you. They've got calorie restricted options. Yeah, menu options like Calorie Smart, Protein Plus, Keto and more, whether you're trying to get shredded

or just want to save some time, Factor's got you covered. Also ladies, if you're trying to get absolutely caked up for beach season, they got a rump growing blend and I've been feeding it to Emmy and it's crazy. Just butt food? Oh, butt food, Yeah. I haven't seen her butthole in like three weeks. And usually I used to, you know, every morning I'd... very good. Everything's in order. I'm not horny enough to want to do anal with

anyone, that's for sure. Yeah. I don't like that. No thanks. God, how hard do you have to be? Only 13 year olds should be doing anal. They did it in this van that we're in. While Travis livestreamed it. But yeah, we are fans of Factor. It's good food, it's easy to make. You put it in your body, makes you strong. What are you dying about? Sam saying something stupid? Yeah, he listens to me and he laughs a lot.

I didn't hear it. I didn't hear it. Also, Factor isn't just dinners. You can add breakfasts, lunches, and snacks to your weekly box. What? You can get snacks in your box? Yep. Well, it's over for everyone. A little carrot, carrot stick in your vege. If anyone back or went back at the sandwich place to order a side of carrots? Yeah. Yeah. You gotta run all of your choices by us first. No. You represent a company. I like carrots. You're a part of a triad right here.

Well. I like carrots. Basically, you never have to cook again. I don't wanna cook. You don't have to. I'm tired of it, man. Get started at factormeals.com slash chubby50off and use code chubby50off to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box.

That's chubby50off at factormeals.com slash chubby50off for 50% off plus free shipping. Why can't they say get started as if it's a huge fucking process? Let's get started. It couldn't be easier to get factored. They call it get started because they're setting you up with a subscription plan

where you don't have to keep doing it. Well I know, but it's like, hey, make sure you get your birth certificate and social security number together as long as three pieces of mail and we're gonna be able to move your application for Factor along. Yeah, you get approved. Yeah, we gotta do a credit check. We gotta see how many teeth you have. Oh shit, well you know. I will say this real quick. Yeah, my dad loves the Factor. Yeah, you got an old, here's a fucking nice gift for your grandparents or whatever your mom and dad yeah what

factors like eight bucks a month I don't know oh no factor calm to find out more get it for your old people it's easy they love it they feel like they're fucking Gordon Ramsay in there this next ad is appropriate because you've been all horny when the mood is right But nothing else is him's is ready to help you don't need any right now, but maybe later Yeah, I have been so fucking hard. Yeah Manjaro I don't know no it's him of course I take him all the time Before I went on stage last night Brent Gill style yeah

hims gives men access to sexual health treatments that won't break the bank and will get you firing on all cylinders again dude sexual confidence is so thrilling yeah I've been going in there and just tearing it up there's a reason I haven't seen her hole it's closed for business it's like Caspernina. Invite only. No, it's a terrible thing to say. But yeah. Timbs gives men access to sexual health treatments that won't break the bank and will get you firing on all cylinders again. Sexual confidence.

I already said that. Just head to their website and fill out the intake form. I'm sorry. Sexual confidence is the name of my new special. I forgot. Get sexual confidence, guys. I wore the suit I got in Cleveland Go to their website fill out the intake form a medical provider will determine the best treatment for you You don't even need insurance and one low price covers everything from treatments to ongoing care And this intake form does also sign you up for the United States Marine Corps. Yeah put on a 72-hour hold Just kidding, Hims. Yeah. Start your free online visit today at hims.com slash chubby. That's h-i-m-s dot

com slash chubby for your personalized ED treatment options. Hims.com slash chubby. The featured products include compounded products which are not approved nor verified for safety, effectiveness, or quality by the FDA. Shut the fuck up. Prescription required. See website for details, effectiveness, or quality by the FDA. Shut the fuck up. Prescription required. See website for details, restrictions, and important safety information. Price varies based on product and subscription plan. You talk the whole time and then I have to talk. I have to say these parts and you make it fucking impossible.

Also you get the money from it so why don't you read the ads and then I'll interrupt you. If you knew how much money it was, you would be stoked that I got that amount of money. Because it's almost zero. It's like, I know that was that was me being annoyed because I don't want to read them. I just want to kick it with my friends. No, I'm just saying it's like. It's that's when it feels like work is when you're reading the copy.

Yeah. And then you get in there with a compounded. Oh, hey, I pound it till I come No, I do need to get my sexual confidence back. Yeah, I don't I don't miss it at all I really oh, yeah we were saying when when you're horny man like there it's two sides of a Fucking rock-hard coin because, having sex is fun. When you're single, it can be exciting to find somebody to bang. But also-

What if you're married to someone you love? I was, yes, yes, that's also good. But like, I don't know, I don't care as much. I like hanging out. They know. Oh, so I shouldn't talk about it. No, no, you guys talk then. You guys should talk.

We're almost to the Chinese buffet. Oh wait, we can't go there either because the control freak doesn't want to go anymore. We're going to the Chinese buffet. You want to go to a different place that doesn't... you don't know what it is but you want to go there instead. No, no, we're going to the Chinese buffet. We can't figure it out but it's a no for the Chinese buffet. It's... well it's no theater because it's a Japanese buffet. No, you're totally right and we should because it's a Japanese buffet and no age. No you're totally right and we should let's talk more about our sexual health. Becker? I don't even want to. I

was just trying to get into the conversation that you were starting again which is god I'm so horny and I have sexual confidence now. I don't. And I love it. I need to get it back all the way up. I don't miss it. But I'm gonna be losing all this weight next thing you know I'm gonna be horny again it's gonna suck yeah well or at least more confident you're gonna be compounding Megan's not gonna want me you're gonna have gone at her again hey get over here just like god damn it come on yeah when I was getting laid a lot I was the grossest person I ever was I had no confidence I was just getting lucky what about compounding interest? That's what I had on stage last night. Oh

God I could you did and I think I'm gonna barf every time gross not every time but lately you're sick What are you doing trying not to barf also enjoying is in hopefully puking on your own dick and balls That's what I that's Emily's job. The good money is on that's the worst kind of sick We're sitting on the toilet and have to try to puke between your legs because it's an emergency. Oh god Yeah, the ultimate Sophie's choice. Yeah, do I do I stand up and shit everywhere? Like what do I want to clean up more? Yeah shit on the wall or do I puke on my nats? Yeah. Yep.

I have, I've never had it really go south. I've always lucked out, but man, that is stressful. It's the worst. And if you have the bathtub right next to the toilet, it's a little bit less scary because you know, you would just puke over there, but there's not always a tub right there. No, it might turn out house the sinks too high to like do that box yeah I

definitely have been in a situation where you're like what's the name of that guy that people would tag like Norbert was here you know which is the nose coming over the wall yeah you're kill rowing the sink really oh I've dude yeah yeah cuz you're but shitting and you sink? And you're like, ugh! Really? Oh, dude, yeah. Because you're shitting and you have to puke? Yeah, it's the worst. I mean, because when I was a kid, what I would do is I would, during football season, I would drink like two of those giant

boxes of orange juice every day. Whoa. Because I thought orange juice was good for you. Ooh, Pontiac Ventura. Pussy wagon. Those are rare. They only made those. That's a 72. A beautiful mind over here. Yes. Wow. That thing was badass looking though. I would drink all this orange juice and then it would just ruin my stomach and I would have diarrhea and I'd have to puke. So there's a lot of situations. And back then when I was like, you know,

of diarrhea and I'd have to puke. So there's a lot of situations. And back then when I was like, you know, in playing shape, my thighs were big, but they weren't as bulbous. And I definitely could get through the little hole. Too much orange juice puke is rough. Oh dude, I mean you could disintegrate toilet paper with that stuff.

That's battery acid. Yeah, don't drink a lot of orange juice anymore because it is kind of a... Acidic. Are you going to enjoy it? Maybe going in, but then almost immediately it's like right here for two hours. Yeah, no thanks.

And now that I've had good orange juice, bad orange juice is such a disappointment. Oh yeah, yeah, most of it is garbage. Oh, and thanks to all the rolling back of regulations. It's gonna be literal battery acid in a few months Yeah, and we're gonna we're gonna smile we have to Self-checkout will force you to smile while you pay for garbage. Yeah, you're not smiling Yeah, there's a little little alarm goes off a cop shows up Hey, you better smile while you get fucked as your you're, you have to handle your produce with gloves on

so it doesn't eradicate your fucking fingers. But yes, you have to give a thumbs up. Hey, the pumped police are here to make sure you're absolutely stoked to the bone. That's the real deal in North Korea, right? Like they have to smile and love life and they get in trouble if they like show real emotion. I think at least- That's where we're going.

Yeah, at least if they're anywhere where they can be seen by the outside world. They can get turned in for not smiling or whatever. Oh my God. Here we come. I had a pretty good... I don't know if we can talk about it on here because of the current climate, but someone brought up Israel and Palestine the other day in New York. So it can go either way over there.

There's a lot of people who are stoked on both sides. And I like, when that happens, when it's a super heated debate, I like to go, well, wait, hold on, what's going on over there? Start from zero and catch me up. Well, I said, I want to figure out... How to profit from it. No, I want to figure out how to put this without getting censored or eradicated from YouTube. Let's pretend I have a friend named Jennifer, right?

And I don't use every syllable. I just sometimes use the first syllable when I talk to her. I'll be like, what's up, Jen? And she got a big old circle so I might think it's a zero could be an O and she got Jen got an O on her side yeah you know so I said what's going on over there and someone you know and I was like are they are they still talking about Jen's O? I didn't say that. How can I do this? Are you exhausted as I am with this?

I think it'll be fine. You think so? Yeah, it's gonna be in the last couple minutes of the hour long video. Okay, well I said, hey are they still doing that s***? And then someone went, well I had a block, you know, they were all pissed. And I was like, oh, well, sorry, what's the definition of s***? Am I wrong? And someone was like, wow, and they tried to explain it, and I was like, yeah, isn't that what's going on over there? And they were like, no, well, sorry, what's the definition of am I wrong? And someone was like, wow, and they tried to explain it.

And I was like, yeah, isn't that what's going on over there? And they were like, no, no, no, no. And I was like, oh, I just, hey, you know you're in a good position when you're coming up with new definitions for, when you're trying to work up clever fucking work arounds to make this okay, maybe everything's not right. Yeah, once you start backpedaling.

Yeah, once you're like, well,, you know depends on what you mean by Yeah, I'm like, well, I thought there was one definition for Anyway, I mean how long we supposed to pretend like nothing's bad Yeah, I Don't know they want to get into all that in the last two minutes of the episode. It was just a fun story where I was like oh wait so what is happening? Well that's what Socrates did wasn't it? He would kind of make you explain yourself. Yeah like I

want to hear you say it and then I'm gonna just obliterate you once I've set you up you know with your own words yeah I'm asking you questions you respond and then next thing you know your dick is in the dirt yeah Socrates is getting blown by a nine-year-old I just pwned you and how am I gonna celebrate winning this debate and it's fine yeah cuz it's it's of the time well actually his name was so I loved it Yeah, sucker of these yeah Suck her blue if you want to hear me not talk about any of this live on stage Why don't you come out to see me in London Glasgow and Manchester coming up soon? I'll be there too

Yeah, one will be there Australia. Good work tickets are flying Manchester London Glasgow, what's going on? We're about half sold in all those rooms let's move those tickies baby you're not coming to America but we're coming to you yeah we're gonna I wonder if we're gonna be well received over there I mean it's insane I think to just act like we all love it over here and everything that's going on is cool but haven't hasn't the issue been that forever we've been the man because we won world war two and everyone's been kind of mad about that

But now it's like we do suck and everyone's like really spiking the football rolling around in it Yeah, yeah, you know everybody's gonna make us flinch and laugh behind our back. Yeah for sure We'll probably get pants and table. This kind of yes Yeah, that's gonna happen to I think. I looked in the camera to see it. That's two. Yeah. Digital. Yeah.

Damn. Join the Patreon, of course. That's a good place to spend your money. It's five bucks. Shit. Twenty? Spend twenty over there a month. Some psychopath didn't know there was a Patreon, so please don't be that obtuse and check

it out. We started the Patreon pretty much right when we started the pod Yeah, or we did it pretty much. I think it's are we loaded. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Right 30,000 hours of content over there. No, I said we had up 300 hours of video between the two Patreon and free that's like four days. Yeah. Yeah Get over there. That's a lifetime. Yeah. But yes, almost five years worth of Patreon episodes waiting for you. Goodbye.