Chubby Behemoth - Making Slime

Episode Date: August 13, 2022

Queef Stone. Kirbying. Matt Cobos and Patrick Richardson.   Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   Extra episodes at https://www.patreon.com/chubbybehemoth

All right. Are we ready? Somebody do a big clap in front of the cameras that the mic can hear. It's going to be your fucking ass. It's going to be the sound of my palm bouncing off your giant yum-yum hole. It's like paddle you. We're booking our fucking podcast

with not one but another chode. How much are we getting paid for this? Oh, yeah? You want to talk about debt so pat i almost killed you and i was totally unjustified in it the other day when you hit me up and you were like hey man um i took off two days of work for those shows and i was hoping to make a little bit more money and i had like a whole fucking text message ready to go and then i realized i didn't venmo you more money yeah i was just asking for the money that you said you're right yeah yeah you thought he wanted a little sugar i thought he wanted more money on top of the money that i hadn't paid him yet yeah that's awesome i was

gonna be like i bought your fucking food patrick all right i kept you from puking in your sleep what the fuck what more do you want from me and Then I realized that I didn't give him any money yet. Yeah, Lund did that to me too. I'm just forgettable. Oh, yeah. I said I would suck Patrick's dick if I had talked to him about doing Ratio, and then he sent me a screenshot

where we did kind of leave it as a possible booking. Yeah, I said I'll put a hold on the headlining spot this date just let me know i was like cool i'll never forget this yeah i immediately forgot so i have to s patrick's d i don't know if you want it on the pod or behind a paywall what's your grip strength behind a brick wall because you're to have to push back a bunch of flesh to dig it out. I'll push his belly back with my head. Yeah, that's right. Forehead. That's what the ladies do.

You put your nose in his belly button. You don't want your nose in there. You do not want your nose in there. That's why Patrick was boned up when you came over, dude. He was dreaming about Nate sucking his dick. Yeah, he was dreaming about his belly button being a little buttercup and that there was a bunch of hummingbirds

floating around him and they came to suckle and feed. And then I came in and I was like, you booked yourself and Kobos on the pod, huh? Yeah. Good work. You were so fucking pissed. Yeah. Because I assumed you were going to be late because you're dumb as hell. Yeah. I figured you were going to show up and have to shit for 30 minutes because you're, you know, a miracle. Because I assumed you were going to be late because you're dumb as hell. And I figured you were going to show up and have to

shit for 30 minutes because you're, you know, a miracle. Because I pooped once 10 years ago. God forbid. God, let it go. Let's do a ratio recap. It sucked. It was not very fun. It was not the

best ratio, that's for sure. I thought you guys started off well, and then a couple comics didn't do great. And then Gabby Gutierrez-Reed did well. M.K. Paulson was very funny. You couldn't follow him? I thought I could. I did my

stuff, and they were like, I told them I was 40, and they were like, gross. You're going gonna die soon they're like this guy's not tall or gay this guy's not tall he's not gay he looks like he was in the sun all day he's all fried up

I don't know what happened but it was not their fault their opening was fun was it? it was the sound is dumb as hell they were mean to the neighbor they liked it though Was it? It was. The sound is dumb as hell. They were mean to the neighbor.

It's fun. They liked it, though. Yeah, of course the crowd does because they're wicked little non-binary bitches. You almost said Jews. What? You almost said wicked little Jews. No, I didn't. No, no, no.

I don't think that's true. Yeah, that's not true at all. Maybe not. Do your shitty pod no one listens to on your shitty pod no one listens to all right i love your post it's like we're gonna have one i know it's been seven weeks so kobo's patrick army just maintain the faith don't worry kobo's out opening for Queef man. Queef man. Oh, queef. Is that Mike Stanley? Yeah. That's our Stanley impression. Oh, queef.

Shout out to Micro Mike Stanley in Steamboat. Yeah, yeah, Kyle. Yeah. Did you hear about that? No, there was a little shorter Mike Stanley. There was a guy with a flat cap on who was also bald and Kyle. Yeah. Did you hear about that? No, there was a little shorter Mike Stanley. There was a guy with, like, a flat cap on who was also bald and buff. Dude. And he came up to Pat and was like, I'm little Mike Stanley.

No way. And he just owned it. It was awesome. Yeah, and it was like Pat was in the fucking combine, because he put up, like, a 4.340 to run over to me and tell me that. There was smoke behind him. behind him listen to this thing i think he tried to pass it off like he said that about him yeah like he was like look at look at this guy he's little mike stanley and i was like nice pat sick riff and then he was like no he said

that no stolen humor i thought the best part about it was that he loved that he was a little Mike Stanley That was the funniest part It's incredible dude Yeah he just runs over to you and he's like Queef queef Yeah Micro queef Oh queef

Friend we're queefing Yeah That's what friends do He was the charmander to Mike Stanley's Charizard Yeah and someone shows him the Queefstone. Oh, it smells terrible. Yeah. It's so hard.

Where has it been? I've been queefing on it. Yeah. You guys film your pod, huh? Yeah. How many YouTubes you got? I think the most that we've gotten is, what, like 20? 20 views?

Yeah. On YouTube? Yeah. I don't know. I stopped uploading them to YouTube. Spotify podcast. What, do you put them now, LiveLeak? Spotify.

You guys getting the algorithm of people getting their heads cut off? Yeah. It's comparable. When me and Kobo start riffing, oh, it's comparable when we cobo start riffing oh it's also comfortable it's like when it's like those beheading videos it really is killing a marine yeah no spotify can't look away but then you do yeah spotify killing with a gay slur that was perfect we got to do that song in our pod next time Yeah yeah

And Pat will be like I thought of this And then after we're done No Sam thought of that I like to do Some of those that kiss babies Are the same that eat pussy That's the one I like

Whoa That's pretty good You ever think about that? No No I think of funny things. I don't do either. In relevant music. Like?

I've been thinking about a lot of funny words to songs. What do you got? The last one you did was bad. What was it? I can't remember. Was it Everybody Grogu? Everybody Grogu. Everybody Grogu.

I wasn't thinking of that. That one also is rough. Oh, yeah. We've been thinking of some good ones, too. Yeah, dude. Bust into me. Yeah, baby. And I'll bust into you.

Dave Matthews? Yeah. All right. That's pretty good. What about crap into me? You fetish. You open your mouth. Dude, imagine getting in like a three-point stance.

Pack up your skirt a little more and show your lunch to me. In a brown cream. Imagine like putting your forehead on the ground and like your butt up. And you sit on my butt and poop into it. God, what a nightmare. Holy shit. Not cool.

Yeah. Or you lay on your back and you do the position where you try to suck your own dick, where you throw your legs over your head. Yeah, the bicycle. And I'm nude from the pants, the waist down. And then you come over and press your warm three hour drive. Keep a shirt on? Oh, yeah.

Shirt on. It's my request. Shirt on, please. I don't want my tattoos to show. And then you can deny it's you. I hate that, like the fucking porn where they blur their faces, but they have these super distinct tattoos. What porno are you watching?

I'm an amateur, man. Asian? Whoa. Just like amateur stuff. They don't blur their faces. Oh, Asian, they blur the genitals. Yeah, exactly. Which is perfect.

I don't want to see that shit. I want to see the details of a dick. Yeah, then, they blow their genitals. Yeah, exactly. Which is perfect. I don't want to see that shit. I don't want to see the details of a dick. Yeah, then you just see Bush and pixels. Yeah, that's great. That sucks. It's like I'm playing Super Nintendo. Yeah. Well, it looks like Mario is going into that cave a bunch of times.

Yeah, I'm playing... Yeah. Underwater level, watch out. Yeah. No, no, no. That wood pipe is short and pink. that wood pipe is short and pink I'm not over you sitting on my ass and dumping into it

as I'm like spreading it you have to be gaped you probably have to do what the popper so that your butthole loosens well no I think I'm doing kegels to pinch your lobe for you you're just pulling it think I'm doing Kegels to pinch your lobe for you. Oh. You're just pulling it out?

Yeah. I'm eating it. Sandworm, Cenobite. I'm pulling it like taffy. Yeah. I'm slurping it up like a noodle. It's reverse docking. Yeah, I don't like that. Butt docking. Let's not do that. You know what I want to talk about?

Let's cross that off the list. Yeah, let's take that off the list. I have some. Uh-oh. Yeah, let's take that off the show notes. We've covered asshole is mouth. And now, on to the most damning evidence, Kobos. And I do want to thank you guys both for being here. All right? I know that we've been blasting you.

Get a close-up of that receipt. We blast out of love. Yes. So here we have... Lunn produced this. I kept it. I figured somebody would say, no way.

I didn't want that. I'm going to read. This is a Taco Bell receipt. Timestamp 1223 AM.m. this morning. 8-11. So this is. What? 8-11.

That's August 11th. The date. Yeah. Fucker. Well, I don't know. Whoa. I didn't know that was necessary, but. Are you okay?

Who cares what... 8-11. All right. I ate 11 things almost. You ate seven things. Yeah. I thought the hot sauce was a thing. Nope.

Seven things. No. You had two Fiesta veggie burritos, two spicy potato soft tacos, two cheesy gordita crunch, and then just a playful one black bean crunch wrap. One coquettish black bean crunch wrap. Those are pretty big. I'm nasty, but I want to be real bad. No, here's the thing.

Because that's what I need at 12.30 a.m. Is 9,000 calories. $22 worth of Taco Bell. Yes. Listen, so I told you there was one caveat, which is that I only wanted one of the cheesy gordita crunch. I got two. Because you're in training.

Because I actually would have stopped at the five things. If you had any self-control. Two fiesta burritos, two potato tacos, one crunch wrap supreme. So that's your starting five. I would have done that. It was vegetarian. And that's your starting five. I would have done that. It was vegetarian. Yeah. And so I was feeling healthy.

And then they have these little crispy chicken tacos. You're feeling healthy, dude. You spent $22 in tacos. No, no, no. With the five, I would have been like, hey, vegetarian, it doesn't count. Right. I'm going to live forever.

Live moss forever. But then they have these new chicken tacos. They're also small, and I tried to get two, and they didn't have them. Tried to get two. They didn't have them. So then I tried to throw the gordita. Did they give you substitutions? They were like, well, these are comparable.

No, no. It was just shut down. We could shit in a sock and make tea out of it. I had to try to get, God forbid I only get the five things. I had to get something else. I went with the cheesy gordita crunch. They gave me two. I ate it all.

I haven't eaten yet today because why would I? I should never eat again. How bad did you do last night? How bad did you bomb that you drove all the way to Inglewood so there were no fucking viewers of what you did? No, no, no. He just kept driving. Yeah, you drove from Five Points.

You hopped on the highway. I'm staying right by there. You got Warren Zevon on. I'm on a quest. It was pretty bad. They were not loving me. They didn't give me the MK love. Yeah.

Do we do need to get a new sound system up in there? It's god awful. Do anything, really. My shit's like wordplay and shit. Imagine being big and gay. Wouldn't that be nuts? I wish all of you people in the audience were dicks. Giant penises.

And then the crowd's like, Quiff, quiff, quiff. Quiff. Quiff-tacious. Quiff, quiff, quiff. Quiff, quiff, quiff. Quiff. Quiff. Quiff-tacious. Quafferry. Quafferry. Quiff-a-bunga.

Spit it, drink it, and spit it out. It's empty. That should have been a spit take. Oh, you're fake drinking. I'll spit take the yerba. Damn, I just know that you must have had a tough time if you drove to a different county to get Taco Bell. I just said I'm staying down there. So no.

At the Taco Bell. Near the Taco Bell. He's using a nacho cheese bag as a pillow. You're like, I know this is a bed and breakfast, and technically it's after midnight, so can I have my breakfast now? They have Taco Bell breakfast now. It's healthy.

I'll have to check it out. Sounds pretty good. I mean, you guys were there. How bad did Lund do? I mean, it's... I've seen him do better. It was a dumb show. I ate shit up top.

They hated me. They love Kobos and Corey. They hated me. I don't think they hated you. I don't know what it was. It wasn't a long show. They hated you because they thought that you were Patrick. I don't think they hated you. I don't know what it was. It wasn't a long show. Yeah, they hated you because they thought that you were Patrick. I'm too old.

I was also mean. I said that I also ran a show with my three best friends, a free show every Wednesday. It also sucked. I tried to shit on them, and I wonder if the crowd thought that I was being mean. I don't know. That's dumb.

No, they were just super low energy. That's dumb. MK is so high energy that he drags them with him. And then you're just not. Straight to hell. He's like a flame on stage. Yeah, totally. A lot of kinetic.

Totally. No, Patrick. It's not what we do on this podcast. We're inclusive. Sometimes you do. You were insinuating, and then he... I was not. Yes, you were.

No, I've been accused of anti-semitism I said the man's like a flame yeah you guys I'm not you were just talking about his stage presence yes he's like Simon Gibson-esque

yeah sure he is he's not gay Simon right I mean he probably is I don't think he is I think he's just fucking cramming his whole body inside of wet holes

is that what bisexual is I mean Simon's what whole body yeah I like birth play I like to be crammed somewhere and pushed out'd like to be crammed somewhere. And pushed out. I want to be crammed but not jammed.

Can you do that for me? Crammed and then squeezed. Queef, queef, queef. I want to be queefed out. I sell fake umbilical cords on Etsy to further make the experience better. They're all slimy. What do you use for the slime?

Calm. Oh, you make your own slime. I used to do that when I was in Vegas. Oh, that's fun. It was either make slime or fucking put my head in the oven. Dude, I was making my own slime. Did you scrape it off a seat that you sat in? No, no.

A plastic seat seat you can make it out of elmer's glue and like borax and shit yeah and i remember like being in vegas like oh my god i hate it here and just like going to walmart and wandering around i saw a slime making kit and i was like okay yeah somehow googled how to make slime no what were you doing with the slime i would make it and I would play with it. Yeah. And it would get all dirty and there'd be hair in it. It's so funny.

It's insane. It's like your doctor wife comes home and you're just playing with slime. You write a chapter of your book and then you're like, oh, time to play with slime. Slime time live. Yeah. Slime time. I'm like standing under a bucket and I'm like, oh, Emmy, welcome home. It'd be a real bummer

if you pressed that button over there. What should we have for dinner? I don't know. What sounds good? Slime. I'm slimed. I've been standing here for three hours. My feet are asleep. She's like, I'm going to bed.

Yeah. Oh, no, baby, don't get in bed yet. No, no. There's more slime. Kenan and Keller in bed. Yeah. Like, you want to get slime for real? What's up, my slime?

Yeah, we're just making slime and, like, sitting in a hot house. Looking at Gordy. Is it slime o'clock yet yet it's slime o'clock somewhere gordy's reading the paper smoking a pipe slime gordy yeah i mean gordy i would like leave it and he would get it and eat it and throw up and i'm gonna be like what's the matter with gordy And I'd be like, he didn't eat some slime your 30-year-old husband made. Because he's so fucking lonely. Holy shit.

You and Gordy watch Nickelodeon? No, we didn't have TV there. Damn. It's too hot for TV. It's too hot for TV, yeah. It's not just on Girls Gone Wild. It's not just Jerry Springer DVDs. No.

It's me in Las Vegas. Balls stuck to my leg. Balls stuck to one leg. Slime stuck to the other. I don't know which one's which. I cram both of them in my wife's pussy when she gets home. She's gained 40 pounds. She gained 40

pounds when we hit Vegas. She's like, I'm gross. And I was like, i love all of this her tits got like so big and she'd be like i'm horrible and i'm like god bless this mess fo show i'm working on a new recipe baby i'm pre-sliming yeah dude i'm sliming it just can't be contained. Oh, man. Can you quit cleaning up your experiments with socks and leaving them in the bathroom?

Oh, yeah. No problem. Slimer. I spilled food coloring all over the counter because I was making slime. And then I got, like, distracted with something, and she came home, and she was like, what's this giant stain? And I was like, oh, I was making slime. That was when I was outed as, like, a slime guy.

You weren't telling her about it? No, dude. It was really sad. Keeping your slime kid a secret. We didn't have a lot of money, so I'm blowing so much money on clear Elmer's glue, the good kind, so you can color it and shit.

Keeping it behind a bookshelf. You pull a book, and the bookshelf opens, and you grab a torch, and you have to go down the stairs. Laboratory. Beakers of slime. Butts and burners.

Fucking little lab coat down there. In Samuel's laboratory. I forgot all about that. Yeah, you haven't talked about it. No, it was fucking sad. I've been back in town for four years in Colorado. My man was into crafts. I was.

And I remember being at fucking, I think it was a Blick art supply store because I heard that there was some cool new glue there that made the slime. Extra slimy? You were on the slime forum. I was literally watching YouTube videos made for babies. And I'd be like, interesting. Purple slime? You're getting excited about purple slime.

Seltzer water, huh? Google Gaga indeed. Yes. Very good. I remember there was this nine-year-old girl and we were both staring at the same thing. I so bad wanted to talk to her about

the ins and outs of slime craft. But I was like, I can't talk to a girl in public and be like, hey, do you make slime? Me too. How thick is your slime? Yeah. What viscosity do you like? Do you ever take your shoes off and step in it on the linoleum?

I do that. I was smushing slime between my toes. My wife's fucking hogging out. It was crazy. Yeah, it was bad dude. It's fucked you up dude. I couldn't leave the house until midnight to like walk my dog. I would I would either make slime and right all

day or would make slime right all day go out bomb at a very bad show come home. My wife's face is in the trough. She's like, I'm gross. I'm like, I want to fucking Simon Gibson you right now. I want you to get so big that I can

put my entire body inside of you. And then you just like Stanley me out. Queer. Are you ever sleeping and like Kel will queef and you wake up and you're like mike bed wake up mike's here it happens every night

cal queefs and it just says queef? Yeah. Like Stanley? A little hat pops out. I remember one time Emily came home and I had figured out if you put the slime, because usually, remember when you used to buy slime? Yeah. Remember? And it would come in a little cup? Yeah. And if you put your thumb in it, it goes like.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. But if you put it in a bigger vessel and you do that, you could change the tone of the slime. So Emily comes home from like her first year of med school, just completely fucking cored out. You know, it's really hard. And she's like, oh, I have to study for six hours.

And I was like, but first, check this out. And I brought her to the fucking living room where we never hung out. And I had two different like buckets set up. And I was like. You're like, finally, it's ready yeah you just did two notes yeah exactly like waiting for her to be like very good i'm so wet i'm wet for you check out my new closer yeah you get on the computer it's like my husband is turning back into a fifth grader she's googling stuff like that

I'm the asshole for hating my idiot husband she posts on reddit slime guy me parenthesis 25F and my husband parenthesis 33M. Slimer.

I'm married to Slimer. Help. He has this thing where he wants me to call him Slimer, and then you can only get hard if I look aghast and there's a cigarette dangling on me. Ghostbusters 1 reference, Dan Aykroyd. One of the best

takes ever. Yeah, fuck. It's funny enough to be a Patreon, Ghostbusters 1 referenced Dan Aykroyd One of the best takes ever Yeah dude Yeah fuck It's funny enough to be a Patreon Because I'm talking about the slime You're that self-conscious I mean dude I get really self-conscious about dorky shit that I do Like I didn't tell anyone I played Magic the Gathering forever Because I like remember being a kid

And being like you know made fun of by other jocks And they'd be like oh you're going out with your Friday night friends? You know? I'm like, I don't play anymore. Yeah, queer. Queer Fridays with the boys. Make some slime. Assume the position. Be my toilet.

They pants me and shove me over and poop in my butt. Oh, I'm so full. The fat one. Oh, I just ate $22 worth of Taco Bell. The last guy is a fat guy. He has diarrhea.

Diarrhea's on your ass. Oh, quit. Wiping somebody else's shit off your ass. Well, no, you don't have to wipe Based on the system I made, remember? Because I'm intaking it Yeah, dude It's like a Mario villain You're the captain now

Right, exactly, I'm Kirby-ing them It's pink, it's bald-ish There's a face drawn on my butt I went out to New Mexico For the Honky Tonk Hodgepodge pink. It's baldest. There's a face drawn on my butt. I went out to New Mexico for the Honky Tonk Hodgepodge that Kurt and Suzanne put together from the dad lounge

and formerly of the high dive. And I showed up Saturday. You know, people were there Friday and they camped. I showed up Saturday and there were like eight porta potties and I picked the wrong one. I showed up Saturday. And there were like eight porta-potties. And I picked the wrong one. I had a fucking nicotine pouch in.

And I step inside, walk this way. And the toilet was full. There was so much shit. Brimmed up? Almost to the very top. And you know how much space there is between the blue goo, the slime. You mean my life's work? You're trying to figure out

how you can get a hold of a pristine porta potty so you can just have the blue slime without any shit and piss in it. Beautiful mind. Beautiful slime. The heist. I'm going to need a crew. Top guys.

But yeah, it was so bad I immediately had to get out of there. I spit out the pouch. You pouch plopped in the poo goo? No, no, when I came out. I couldn't even be, I couldn't be in there. So I got out of there. You couldn't be in there because you couldn't fit or because of?

Because of the poo, man. Too much poo. Like if I would have, if I would have tried to dump on top of that pot, and I wasn't trying to dump, I was trying to pee. I was holding off the poo. If I would have tried to dump on top of that pot, and I wasn't trying to dump. I was trying to pee. I was holding off the poo. Oh, it would have been fun to piss on all that shit. What? No way. If there's a single nugget,

if there's a little nugget in the toilet, I flush that before I sit. I can't dump or piss on top of other people's grump. Do you sit and piss? I will if I'm a house guest. Nice. You're Sinbad? Yes.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Is that his bed? No, he was in a house guest, right? Yeah. Oh. It was him and Phil, the late Phil. It was him and Ben Margera's dad.

And Uncle Vito. Oh, Sinbad, don't do that to me. Come on, Sinbad. I got to work in the morning Come on Don't poop on my poop Sinbad Oh my god We're gonna poop on Phil's poop

I can't do bam We're gonna poop on the old man Yeah he always He was always like down in here Scared Scared Sco. Scared. Scared Scooby-Doo. Scared Shaggy.

There's a snake over there. Do you guys remember when that guy was hid in the porta potty to watch people pee and shit? He wasn't there to watch. He was there to get used. Yeah. He was getting slimed on. He was just trying to get pink eyes so he could get out of work the next day. He's like, this guy keeps coming in at 12.23 every night.

It's right before shutting down the kitchen. He orders like seven things. I just can't fucking do it anymore. Don't. I'm not the bad guy. I'm not hurting anybody. You were just making slime. I didn't drive drunk to that Taco Bell.

I was sober. I haven't had Gaco in a bit making slime. I didn't drive drunk to that Taco Bell. I was sober. I haven't had Gakko in a bit, dude. I fucking used to love it. We were just talking about that last night. There's one like three blocks away from me. Man, the restraint that you're showing. Oh, you eat it every day? No.

Yeah, you do. Because you're on a budget. I'd say at least once a week, though. Yeah. For sure, at least once a week. You do the ground beef sometimes ground queef sometimes ground queer it's not good i like a black bean quesarito add potato that's a good one yeah you've talked about that before it's my move i'll get that tonight i'll get four of those

tonight they're like five dollars you said you couldn't go to dinner with me because you're going to dinner with your fucking sister this is isn't dinner. This is once the kid, once my nephew's asleep. Yeah, that's when I sign the covenant. That's when I sneak out in the dark of night. Uncle Lundy has to go out and do community service, little Eli. You come back, you're like, oh, quiff. Why? Quiff, quiff.

Because I'm so full of queefs they do give out little newsy caps at the inglewood taco bell little queefarito what about a newsy cap made out of a crunch wrap supreme that would be pretty cool I remember

I went to my wife's family reunion where i'm going this weekend and they have it once a week every every year i remember being there and they have this like at the time like this seven-year-old like little autistic boy named ryan is in the family and i remember his mom being like finally he's downstairs making slime and i get a break and i was like i wonder if uh the kayaks are open i fucking went out the door and went downstairs and making slime with this little boy trying to catch him up on snow i was learning i was learning from him because the kids are on the yeah exactly

he was using like dish soap and shit like all new shit it's all brand new yeah steve jobs a slime yeah yeah steve globs you steal it you steal it from him his recipe you get rich they use it in porta potties it absorbs all the piss put a lot of hard-working perverts out of work. Yeah. They rebel. It bounces them out if they try to jump into the porta-potty. It just bounces them out.

Yeah. Hey, don't bring slime to the shows, by the way. It sounds like you want slime. No. You're on stage and you're going to see your... Instead of like... So many comics are always trying to make it obvious that they want

coke after the show. But you're doing that with slime. You guys getting crazy after this? I'm trying to keep my nose clean. But if you have any slime... I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding though, obviously. I don't have any slime... I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding, though, obviously. I don't want any slime.

Looking at cameras that are not there. Looking at the kids in the audience. It's my Netflix taping. Sam's addicted to slime. He asked for slime during his Netflix taping. Your Netflix taping is all ages. I get pushed out in a baby carriage

filled with slime. I'm wearing a bonnet. There's like a bottle and it's just full of slime. Grave, grave. Jesus. Sam Talent presents the Mike Stanley experience the rider is just slime different colored slime

no it's not even slime it's different the raw components of slime making because it's not really about the slime it's about the journey yeah

it's not about the end process yeah it's not about about the slime for you. It's about the journey. It's not about the end process. It's not about... I mean, this was like some dark night of the soul shit. I was so lonely out there. I went from hanging out with fucking Lumbo over here every day, just living the dream, losing to Kidney Boy and Catan,

to fucking... Kidney Boy? Yeah. Corey Chodes. He has too many? Corey Chodes. Oh, you're talking about Uris. No, Uris is big. Kidney big cory would get so stoned a lot of times he forgot

what game we're playing he'd be like whoa yahtzee and it's like dude there's two dice grab a wheat card and he's like uh cream of wheat i can go for some cream of wheat yeah stop getting so high right before we play a game that you're not super familiar with. Right. He's like, hi, I've already been here. Should I say goodbye now? Get a kidney already. God, you're delirious. My girlfriend's right. We weren't allowed to talk about his girlfriend.

The Catan was like an escape from Facebook. He didn't have his phone in his hand. From the Cataniac. She's right. We should kill you guys. Yeah. You are the enemy, Sam. Yeah.

One time I tried to make enough slime to layer. Jesus, dude. What? We got to move on from slime. Okay, never mind. I mean, unless there's a bunch of nine-year-olds that have tuned into the pod, I think we should maybe talk about adult stuff. I mean, if we're filming, this will help us get in the algorithm.

It's like those creeps who make horny off-brand Spider-Man tapes so they get a million views from brain-dead three-year-olds. Oh, wait. Yeah, the kids watching YouTube on their iPad. Do you have to fart? No. Uh-oh. Oh, yeah.

What's the shirt exactly? they know this shirt what have you pictures of you it's a legendary rock aware shirt dang beautiful this is what Sam made fun of me for I wish you had your shirt from the wedding rehearsal his shirt was so much dumber than this one. This one was fun, vibrant. I like how the dry... Screams Brooklyn. Like the dried shirt.

The instructions that dry it are printed all over it. I think that's cool. And his brain's going. This is pretty cool. He thinks that kind of stuff's cool. I looked it up. Meanwhile, Sam had a camo shirt on, camo button up. Yeah, dude, you're right.

I looked nuts compared to you. You out there in your fucking, I just miscarried pants. You're wearing brown and light brown to a wedding celebration where Kevin and Mera wanted people to wear fun, flashy colors. Yeah. So I understood the assignment. You did not. Don't say I understood the assignment. Oh, yeah.

That's a thing. That's what Pat says. Yeah, it sounds like I'm co-opting. That's news speak. He gets from 4chan. That's what Zoomers say. What are you? I'm a millennial.

Generation Destination XL. I'm always at DXL. There's a fucking Hawaiian restaurant right next to it. Dude, I know. Yeah, we should go out there. Let's just call that whole mall the final destination. There's a GameStop, like a WingStop, an L&L, and a Fat Guy. There should just be a store called Stop.

Patrick's Corner. I love treating myself to a nice little button up T-shirt and some fucking chicken katsu. If they had a fucking slime store up there, I'd buy a condo. Slime stop. Yeah. Game stop. Wing stop. Slime stop.

There's a Build-A-Bear in a slime store right there. Dude. How do you guys feel about Build-A-Bear? Never did it. Never will. Never thought about it. Not a pedophile. Don't care. Oh, but you love slime. Yeah, I like creating with my hands.

You get to create with your hands a Build-A-Bear maybe? No, you don't. You tell them what to make. I've never been there. Yeah, I like creating with my hands. You get to create with your hands and build a bear, maybe? No, you don't. You tell them what to make. I've never been there. See, you know all about it. Build a bear, cover it in slime. Yeah.

Perfect. The bear looks just like me. It's perfect. Yeah, if only I had this much slime to just be completely engulfed. I just want to get shrunken down so I can be slimed. Honey, I slimed the kids. It's ten minutes long. Yeah.

I'm rock hard. They call me Pingo Jones because I'm like, ding, ding, ding. I did. Ding, ding. I did go into your room. Bingo.

Yeah. I didn't think it was weird when I went into your room in Steamboat and you were masturbating to Flubber yeah I mean Robin just gets me going yeah Robin Quivers is in that movie Robin to Robin

yeah Batman and Robin the cradle so you guys smell toast right yeah my roommate's cooking thank god you're dying you think of slime too much you fucking rewire your brain dude So you guys smell toast, right? Yeah, my roommate's cooking. Okay. Thank God. You're dying. Well, you think of slime too much, you fucking rewire your brain, dude.

Did you ever touch the slime with your hog? I was going to say that. And then Lum was like, quit talking about the slime. Oh, was that what was coming up? Well, I made a bunch of slime. And it was enough slime that I could like, it was like half of the bathtub. Like, not like the whole thing was full, but like half of like the...

The deep end. Yeah, exactly. And I sat in it. That sounds awesome. And then I for sure like sat like with my legs out. You just lived up? Yeah, not the mama did.

Listening to 96 Bitter Beans. I mean, dude, my wife would leave at 6 a.m. She'd come home at 8 p.m. She had to study for four hours, bed at midnight, go back to school. That was med school. And there was me, just a box of Borax and a dream. She was scared about you passing out

in a bathtub full of slime and browning. I knew this was going to happen. I have to get a new laptop, baby. This one's all sticky. From what? I don't know. I think Gordy's using it. He's trying to look up dog porn.

You know that dog jizz. It's all weird. Yeah, it's all goopy, and there's like sparkles in it. When I was doing that, he was making clear slime, putting fucking glitter in it and shit. You're like, why didn't you talk about this? I tried to stop you. I tried to stop you and we went back to it.

You can't help yourself. I want to thank all the West Virginians who came out to Morgantown. Fucking could have put that show out easy could have just released that as a special i loved you all that was sick at the end i was like i want to thank you west in the crowd yelled by god virginia and i was like okay carry me out of here yeah what's up from i don't know they say west by god It's like a thing they say. Yeah, West Virginia is sick, dude. Shout out to that little weird kid, Joe, who I was like, are you a homosexual, Joe?

And he was like, no. You outed him in a small town? Well, no, not at all. He came down from Pittsburgh with Lorenzo, who, when I say a guy named Lorenzo from Pittsburgh came down, what do you guys envision? Chinese kid. The lesion guy. Talks fast.

Listen slow. No, he's a redhead with type 2 diabetes. Gigantic? No. Normal, just sick. Bad kidneys. Lorenzo and Joe came down and they were talking about being gay. And I was like, you one of these homosexuals, Joe? And he was like, no.

Yeah, those kids rule. They bought me a pretzel from Sheetz that had cheese inside of it. It was fucking sick. Finally, something cool we've talked about. Yeah, I know. Edible slime. Yeah, dude. It's orange slime. You're playing withible slime. Yeah, dude. Orange slime.

You're playing with it. Eat it, Sam. Hold on. Everybody shut up. You put some of it in a vial and put it in your pocket. Test this later. Yeah, I was drinking fucking twisted tea out of a bag and eating gas station pretzels. I got the whole Morgantown experience in.

Sounds nice. Yeah, it was sick anybody disappointed i wasn't there yeah that was that joe kid he says a london maniac oh that was i sent you a picture of him yes yeah so he was gay yeah he was i think he's a gay kid yeah only for me i'm his type yeah type two lorenzo's type two damn it yeah i don't think they're dating there's friends trying to steal your humor no yeah but yeah that kid he was really funny it's like i'm a london maniac he's like sam you suck i wish london was here yeah they came over all nervous and they're like we love the pod dude like it's the highlight of our week. I'm a Lundamaniac, though.

You're nagging me right off the go? You got some slime in your pocket? There's a shirt on that says, Where's Lund? And on the back, it's a Taco Bell receipt. Dude, I talk to Lund people out there on the road, and it's weird because they're always sober. And they're like,

Yeah, it's cool Lund's sober. I'm like, yeah, it is cool. I'm proud of him.'s weird because they're always sober you know and they're like yeah it's cool unsober i'm like yeah it is cool i'm proud of him hell yeah they're connecting i mean you're not food sober but no i'm not a role model yeah you mean you do you're a good model of how to roll around because he's so big and fat style or hedgehog style yes do you guys know about logger hedgehog no oh shit it's two different ways to roll modes of locomotion oh yeah i can either go arms above your head oh like a log yeah or you tuck into a ball like a hedgehog that makes sense either way you're getting around you're saving money no uh very few emissions a couple of queefs here and there. That's your only carbon footprint? Yeah, it's not bad. Hit the gas, man.

We're late. Queefs! It's better for the environment, but it smells horrible. Oh, yeah. It stinks, but he's saving us all. Here's what the future smells like. Where was that where you were getting around that way? Austin.

Yeah. Jim Dillon's house. Lund's just logger head jogging around a mansion. Leaving a little slime. Yeah. A little trail of slime. A snail trail. Yes, nearly.

Collecting little crumbs and things Slime line I wish you made slime That would rule We'd finally have a reason for this friendship to be so strong Even more You give me a reason to slime You give me a reason to slime

That band Slime Yeah, Slime Instead of Sublime, it's just Slime Get the ub out Stick that ub That band Slime. Yeah, Slime. Instead of Sublime, it's just Slime. Get the Ub out. Stick to that Ub. Put it in Chubb. And then they made UB40.

Greasy texted me. Oh, yeah, that's the UB. Greasy texted me last night, and he's like, I'm going to do it. Don't do ratio tomorrow the time has come batter up he showed up to ratio the other day and he had a bike and a helmet and i was like dude that's pretty cool that uh your lift driver let you put the bike on the car to get over here i bet he was so pissed he was like yeah yeah i i didn't ride this bike over here yeah i'm not all sweaty yeah dude oh poor creasy dude oh that got

me good his car got took yeah again he said it's been twice now. Does he leave the door wide open when he gets out? Well, he's in such a rush to get into Little Caesars to get that hot and ready. It's not even in park doors open car still running. It's this or the grave. I'm

gonna do it. He doesn't talk that way anymore he's gotten a lot better that was his old hour that's why I joked he's totally normal I was on a date and I ran into Creasy and his girlfriend

in Boree the other night they were having a nice little time where'd you take this date? poor Sarah we were walking to get ice cream They were having a nice little time. Where'd you take this date? Poor Sarah. We were walking to get ice cream. Talk about slime. Yeah, right outside Ratio. We can't do two conversations at once.

Sorry, ours is funny. I want to know where he ate. We just got ice cream. Just ice cream. That's what you had for dinner on a date? We didn't have dinner. We just had ice cream. That's what you had for dinner on a date? We didn't have dinner. We just had ice cream. You went in dreamy? You came out creamy? You told her, eat beforehand and we'll get

ice cream, but no food. She was like, I'm lactose intolerant. I said, shut up. We're getting ice cream. Yeah, you're getting hot fudge. We're going to cone then bone, dude. Yeah, cone and bone. What? Cone then bone dude Yeah cone and bone What? Cone then bone Did she get her forehead sweaty?

You know what I mean? Stinky? Did she get lint on her forehead? Did her nose get stuck in my deep button? Pat can only go with girls Who have flat noses So they don't get lost in there Dude my button has smelled gnarly before Sometimes I get in there,

and you got like a little furry friend you pull out, and he's all wet and he stinks. You ever do this one when you wake up and pee in the morning, you pull out all your lint and then drop it into your pee stream, and it shoots into the toilet? No. That's pretty good. That's cool.

You should try it. Sometimes you miss, but it's really satisfying when it goes into the toilet. It's a fun little game. It's good to have a routine in the morning. Yeah, it's a fun little game you get to play. It's like I put on the coffee, peel out your pingo. Drop it in your string.

Drop it in your mace wingo. Everybody grow grew. That was the kind of fun we were having in the mountains. Dude, that was the best. What was that supposed to be? Everybody wants to. That song? Oh, yeah.

I don't remember that. Yeah, it's from like 1983. All right. Yeah. I was in high school. Yeah. I was getting laid. To that song.

Hey, everybody do the grow grew. You're like, what if Yoda was a the grow groove. You're like, what if Yoda was a baby? They're like, shut up. That's blasphemy. Hedgehog or log? Pick one. I've been doing

all this shit for 40 years. I'm a little guigua. I'm a little grow grooveua. I'm a little grogu. There's a painting of you above a Taco Bell somewhere. 1931. It says do not serve. Yeah.

This man eats farts. Could you do that? Could you like fart into a 44 ounce big gulp and put a lid on it real quick i could see you pulling that off for sure where there's a will there's a way baby you know about those little buttons on the top pop up those little plastic wet they do a promotion and it's the hot sauce packets, but it's just little farts. Little blonde farts.

The gross jelly beans. That was Harry Potter. Oh, yeah. The gross jelly beans. Oh, yeah, yeah. Queef. Queef flavored. Hey, are you a sexless adult?

Mom, what's a queef? We've got jelly beans for you. This one tastes like queef. Queef. Jelly smellies. Yeah. Oh, boy. Oh, yeah, we have to do our ad read.

Okay. Hey, you guys enjoy summer fun, right? I'm always having fun in the summer. You know, we only have so many summers left. This beautiful weather we've been experiencing here, being residents of the centennial state, the greatest state in the damn union. Kala, by God, Rado.

Yeah. I know that when I'm out there making slime in the sun, it's tough for me to stay dry. And that's where 7-Strong Brand shirts come in. Oh, they're still a sponsor. I guess. We haven't seen a dime.

I don't know if anyone's bought any of their stuff. We haven't been tagged in any kind of stuff. But if you go to the number 7, that's the one after 6 before the one that looks like Patrick. Okay. I'll take it. All the way to the bank. These shirts won't blow the bank. They're cheap. I have a couple in my car.

I'm not going to go get them, but they're for you. I have two in the car for you. 2X? No, 3X. I don't need 3X. I do. You're gross. You're incredibly gross. I'm glad that everyone can see how gross you are now. I'm slimy and compact.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, he slides into a 2X. I fit the overhead bin. You're like Patrick's pud. Slimy and compact. Pat's dick, if you open it up, there's a mirror in there so we can see how gross he looks. Keep it up. But seven, the number seven dash strong.com get their shirts put in promotion

chubby the number five chubby five at checkout you're saving five percent damn that's five percent off of a shirt that it's a couple bucks it's it's two or three dollars it's not even tax yeah it's crazy i mean if you spend a thousand dollars you're saving 50 bucks pretty good it's not even taxed the more shirts you buy the more you save

you gotta keep that in mind you gotta fill that cart with everyone are you reading it right? 5% it's 5% You got to fill that cart with everyone. Are you reading it right? Five percent? It's five percent. Chubby five.

It's not chubby 15. That's for sure. No. It's a chubby five, which is what my wife used to come home to when she was in med school. I'd be waiting. Fucking slime dripping off my rock hard cup. Maybe tonight. She's like, nope. All right. Back to the baby, but hold on.

You have two different vessels. So yeah, if you want to experiment on your wife's holes, go to 7-strong.com, put in chubby five at checkout, and save $2,000, you're saving $100, all right? I mean, that's nothing to laugh at. That's pretty sweet. You can't scoff at that.

That might cover shipping. That's a strong deal, 7-strong. Let's say you buy two shirts. It's probably $170, all right? That's almost $7. I love these shirts. I wear them all the time, and you should wear them too. What a deal.

You're just saving tons of money. Oh, yeah. I have so much money I can afford to buy more slime implements. They pay him. I'd like to get a human skull and fill it with slime. That would look cool. That'd be sick. It's like bulging out of the eye sockets.

Yeah, dude. What about if that pineapple had slime coming out of it? Way cooler. That's the cool thing about everything is you can imagine what it would look like with slime in it or on it. Now you're kind of getting me on your side with the slime stuff. You're kind of proselytizing to me, and I'm liking it. I mean, it got me through a very difficult, lonely time. Lunn wasn't calling.

You weren't born. I don't like talking on the phone. Well, you couldn't figure out how the buttons work. You're used to this one. Hello? Connect me to Indiana 4. Oh, I'm worried. Lunn answers the phone.

Ahoy, hoy. Like Mr. Burns, because he's an old, gross bitch. I'll be there in a week. I'm going to hedgehog over there. Everybody hedgehog. Yes, you have to hedgehog over there. Everybody hedgehog. You have to hedgehog over the Rockies. Log style doesn't cut it.

Too much surface area. Lumberjacks do. Everybody. Slimey. Slime on your hump. Don't talk about his hump. There's no hump. I know you guys are going to be talking

in the comments what's up with pat's hump when i bend over i do have a hump i know what you're talking about yeah yeah emily's very mean of you emily's pointed it out before my hump she wants to help you my posture she wants to get you like a girdle or a harness. She wants to hang you from the ceiling. Yeah. Hit you with a stick. Like a big country ham. Let the mold keep the innards cool. No, I'm good.

No, dude, you're still hunched over. No, I'm not. Yeah, you are. There you go. Head back. That's good, man. Attention. That's good.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. I mean, luckily i have great posture you look like sasquatch dude cool remember when we were walking remember when we were walking in the woods up to that temple yeah i do like a couple of sasquatches could you see or was your vision so blurry from lack of oxygen i was having to walk along the way you acted like yeah i was you beat me there i was recording oh i lapped your ass i already went in the temple by the time you got up there and you're like i was shooting video along the way i need my ranch dressing inhaler 10 deeds.

The pepper's stuck in the inhaler. I have to blow it out. Not cool, dude. Yeah, I know. It isn't cool to not tell someone you have dangerous asthma when they take you on a hike. That isn't cool. I don't have dangerous asthma. Yeah, you do.

Mild asthma. You looked like Grimace. I was not purple. You were perped out. No, I wasn't. Yeah. I was not perped. You were perped out. No, I wasn't. Yeah. I was not perped. You were the grape ape. And then we heard that guy yell,

Maga! Yeah. Really? And then gunshots. Oh, damn. Yeah. It was a real Midsummer X vibe. No, we were just talking about how scary it'd be while we were walking up there if we just

heard a guy yell, Maga! And just start shooting up all these Hindu people, these Buddhist people. There was a wedding going on. Yeah, it was weird. Yeah, it was a lovely place. Check it out. Red Feather Lakes right there

in beautiful northern Colorado. You can get there from Denver through Kremlin. What'd you fuck up? You don't go 50 miles out of the way like Sam. He's having an episode. No. I'm making fun of you. Oh, my God.

I was so mad. You drove from there to Denver instead of Fort Collins. Listen to Kobo's Patrick Podcast bonus episode X2 where you can hear that happen exactly at the end of the episode. That's so funny. It was just me pouting and telling Patrick this isn't your fault. It wasn't his fault. He didn't blow it that time.

So many other times he blew it on that trip. You guys were just riffing too hard. I was having fun with him somehow. Somehow. That's what I get. He was pumping his inhaler into his mouth at the same time yeah he's kind of like slime yeah he's like if a guy was slime he's got the hump i've been trying to say that yeah uh yeah shout out to louisville that was great i had so much fun in louisville

i was i experienced a manic episode after louisville i went full lund in the tree i had a six hour drive by myself and me and mop and we're hanging out late into the night drinking beers making slime and like slime and as everyone everyone listened to the episode r.i.p ping pong jeff so i were i inquire i did saturday night a bunch of people came who were at the friday show and they saw the first show, and then six of those people were like, we're going to stay for the second show. So they'd seen three shows.

So I had to improvise three separate hours for this crowd, completely different, and it was fucking sick. When we got back to the place we were staying at, the Possum's house, Danny was like, man, I've been watching comedy for a long time. I ain't never seen nothing like that in my many years on this beautiful blue marble, man. You're really on the cutting edge of something brand new, and it's just

an honor to serve alongside you in the giggle mines. So I go to bed, and I wake up, and we have breakfast, and he's like, I just want to reiterate what I said last night. Oochie-boochie, mama want a woochie, you know? So I leave him. I drop him off at his parents house

where he grew up which was not just a bucket of mud believe it or not he grew up in a home windows yeah yeah and i have to drive six hours by myself so like the first two hours are me just this like avalanche of gratitude where i'm like yeah i should be proud of myself i have integrity in everything i do and i try really hard and I leave it on the field, and yeah, no one else could have improvised three separate hours for that crowd, so I'm just like losing it, feeling good about me, and then there's four hours of just exhaustion

as my brain tries to fucking fan off the flames of my own ego, and I get to West Virginia, and I don't say anything for like two hours. I'm just like, I didn't say any words aloud all day. What were you saying in the car? Oh, I was talking backward. My tongue was fucking cleaning my own belly button. Rage, laugh, loss, naff, nerp.

Yeah, yeah. I was talking to myself in the car, dude. Listening to the Minutemen and listening to Double Nichols. I was like really going through something. And it wasn't like epiphanous. It was just like, you know, my chemicals were wrong from drinking booze for three days with mopping. And I got to West Virginia and I was like, I don't know if I can do this.

I'm like, I'm a fraud. I'm terrible. Oh, it went all the way. All the way around. The Kirby shat in his own ass on this one. And I got on stage and I did an hour 10 and West by God had me. But fuck, your brain's a dangerous vessel. Yeah.

What goes up must come down. Yeah. Yeah. Mania really exhausts me when I experience it. That's why I try not to dream of the sword anymore. Try not to what? Dream of the sword. Yeah.

Try and avoid the sword. Yeah. You got to walk away from the glint of the blade. Yeah. Yeah. That comes next. That's for wherever we go from here is when you harness the sword and you're ready. But down here as a mortal, you can't comprehend or you can't take that load into your own butt without some spillage.

Yeah. Leave it alone. Stop trying to download Sublime albums. Jesus Christ. Stop trying to download music on... Why do you still have

Kaza? Dude, it's the only place you can get some of Soldier Boy stuff. You got Seinfeld episodes off Kaza? It's like, just watch Netflix.

You know what'd be cool? Slime felt. slime felt. Grammar gets stuck on the door handle. Jerry! Slime all over the place, Jerry. I slimed. Queefed.

I queefed and it was slime. I've got a gig. I've been shitting in George's ass, Jerry. He loves it. I don't love it, Kramer. I've been reading this one wrong. He goes to walk out, he slips, he's slime. The slime factory's open 24 hours, shit.

I can't sleep. There's slime coming to the window. The slime Nazi's working in there. No slime for you. Jerry, smell this perfume. What's it smell like? It's a new line of slime, Elaine. It's Peterman.

I'm Jay Peterman. I shouldn't have worn the slimy shirt. Damn, this thing's got legs. I've got nine seasons of Slimefeld ready to be written. written you should do a video of you performing songs with different jars of slime that's what the patreon's missing yeah so hey uh this was our first foray into video podcasting i found it fun this is the crossover event of the summer everyone's been begging for uh this was this was a lot like that momentous day when we went on chicken and the nuggets I found it fun. This is the crossover event of the summer everyone's been begging for. This was a lot like that momentous day when we went on Chicken and the Nuggets.

Remember that? People are still talking about that. Also, whoever made that poll of who would win in a fight on the Chubb Reddit, I want to sincerely thank you for not listing a certain small member of the Chubby Behemoth catalog on there. Little Noah? Is that who you're talking about? We're talking about someone else. I'm doing the pose

Sam always does in pictures. He's been drinking. No, no, he doesn't point. He does the hand out. Like Jim Morrison. It's Elvis. Elvis used to do... he'd do like a. This one.

He'd do I Love You? No, it's like. He'd do Superfly? He would do like something like that. The one that I like is this. Where it's like your palsied. Ninja Turtle? Yeah.

Speaking of Elvis, help me and Kobos get to Elvis Festival so we can make some hot video content. Come on, this is our podcast. That's the one plug they get. That's the one plug they get. That's the one plug they get. Venmo Cobos Patrick podcast at Giraffe Fights. Help us get to Elvis Festival. It's going to be fun, dude. Tickets are expensive.

When is it? The 27th is when we're going to go. It's the one we're doing the live podcast from there. Yeah, we're already there. You guys are on stage and we're just slumming it down in the crowd trying to get video content. We're going to keep you out. I'm going to dress up like dead Elvis and glue a little toilet to my ass. Yeah, that'll go over well.

They're going to hate it. You're going to get your ass beat. I know. But I'm going to be with Alec. Alec will be there, and Alec's going to be such a fucking hot Elvis. You guys are going to be slumming it, and we're going to be sliming it. All right, Elvis Fest, who's ready for slime? Quave, quave, quave.

Put on my green slime shoes. You ain't nothing but a slime dog. Sliming all the time. You ain't nothing but a slime dog. Slime dog millionaire. He Do I know the word slime now? Slime dog millionaire. He gets an answer wrong, he gets slime. Slime, slime, slime, slime.

But hey, check out the Chubby Behemoth Patreon. Patreon.com slash Chubby Behemoth. We are cooking on there. Lots of cool stuff happening. That's why you get the full picture, right? Like the free episodes. Yeah, that's half the story.

Right. But we are doubling up, talking pretty much twice a week. Yeah. Sharing our innermost thoughts and fears. We're the fucking capital of Ireland because we're doubling. That's right. Yeah. We did three episodes a week for like six months.

It was crazy. Yeah. And then we pumped the brakes. Patreon.com slash Shaggy Behemoth. Join that so I can get my operation. You want a pouch to keep slime in? I want to have a slime dispenser installed. Kangaroo pouches have a little slime.

They do. There's nutrients or something that's slimy. It's pretty good. You guys all knew that? No, there's Taco Bell in there. You guys all knew that? All, there's Taco Bell in there. Everyone knows about the slime in the pouch. I knew it was like ambiotic, right?

Is it? Ambiotic. All slime. Embryonic. Join our Patreon, please. Embryonic. I think we're going to start figuring out how to do these video episodes all the time. Yeah, we might as well.

That's what people want. They want to see us for some reason. They want to look at us. And I don't get it. I feel like my voice is the strongest of my projections.

You have piercing brown eyes. You want to drink it in. They're not brown. Really? No. I thought they were because you're full of shit. I have to poop.

I got Taco Bell inside of me. Yeah, you better go pull the pin on that butt grenade hey i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna assume the position and that'll be the patreon content yeah watch lun shit into my hole which hole you guys decide there's different tiers Yeah. Like and subscribe to the pod. Join the Patreon. They have a podcast. Elvis Fest. It's called Who Cares? Yeah. Cobos didn't get a plug. No, it's fine. Cobos Patrick Podcast.

You're supposed to be on my side. You think you dipshits have a listener who doesn't also listen to this? You guys think you've tapped into some new demographic that we haven't been fucking holding down and cramming? No, actually, a lot of the comments on our ratings, they mention that they found us through you guys.

Yeah. What the hell? That's what I do is I put on the ute. I up the rhythm. We're just in the extended universe. For the real freaks that don't get enough of you guys. It's you guys. It's Noah.

It's Becker. Yeah. These are all like our sidekicks. These are all the NPCs in the game we're playing. No, we're players. Yeah, perfect. Yeah, you're a player. Yeah.

I'm a player. You're playable. You're Play-Doh. Yeah. We're just pimps-doh hose down you got your own band name on your thigh that's weird it's it was a bar in chicago it's a bar it's a bar in chicago i got that in chicago it's my favorite before jeez you gotta plug everywhere you go mexican lady would pay me in malorty y'all last call i heard this fucking story on that car ride. Yeah, it was blackout.

Yeah, it was blackout the whole time. Do you want to... I'm dizzy. Dizzy Gillespie. You were dizzy the whole time. You couldn't stop being dizzy. Gillespie. You kept spinning around and then complaining about how dizzy you were.

I'm dizzy. Why am I so dizzy? I'm whirling away. Look how whirly I am. Little Mike Stanley paid me in change and I ate it. He paid me in tapas. Ooh, those tapas were good. Yeah.

Join the Patreon. Good night. Bye. Oh, hold on. Oh, boy. Did we do the plug for the thing? What. Oh, hold on. Oh, boy. Did we do the plug for the thing? What? Oh, yeah.

I'm going to Alaska. You're coming to Hilarities with me, right? Yeah, Cleveland and Cincinnati. It's an Ohio September for us. Yeah, Cleveland the first weekend of September, then High Plains, and then Cincinnati go bananas that last weekend. It's like 15th, 16th, 17th, 18th, I think. It's Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Crazy. A long time. And then the Comedy Fort, the 23rd and 24th. I don't care if Mark Maron's in Fort Collins the 23rd. He blew me off for dinner in Louisville because he didn't want to hang out with Moppin. All right? That's funny. Yeah.

Does he not? Oh, that doesn't matter. No, I'm kidding. There't there's nothing about mopping me and mopping got fucking stranded in a graveyard trying to see mom and all these grave and then we laughed then we laughed at a widow's name for like 20 minutes we talked about it on the phone i'll show you nice yeah they're doing a live chubby behemoth kobo's patrick podcast is opening up for them. Look out for that. It's going to be at Red Rocks. In the parking lot.

In a porta potty.