Chubby Behemoth - MANDY

Episode Date: February 4, 2023

Extra episodes at Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth   Everyone has lupus. I’m Brad. Live Laugh Lund.   Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth  

well well well if it isn't you the listener here again to just fucking suck and soak up all the humor juices that me and lunder about to blow out of every pore hole and wound gimme gimme gimme the humies feed my ears fill me up i'm driving a forklift on pain pills That's not allowed is it? They don't care Who's they? Big forklift? Yeah well The union

This is another episode of Chubby Behemoth And boy do I gotta tell you The boys are triumphant right now We got a pretty We're in a heater The two of us Me and my associate Lund We got a pretty, we're in a heater, the two of us. Me and my associate.

Lund. Yeah, we've had a good couple of weeks here. Right, Lund? What are you, oh, well, yeah, separately and now together, yeah. Yeah. You were in Japan. Yeah, my life isn't defined by you. You were in Japan. We covered that.

I was in America. I was big. Yeah. You by you. You were in Japan. We covered that. I was in America. I was big. Yeah. You were big. You were still huge. I was blowing up. Yeah. The toilet.

Yeah, I went to Chicago. Without you, it was weird. Yeah, do you know what to do? No. I was recording my special, and at the end of my set, I said, All right, you guys, stick around for Sam. He's great. Fuck.

You're going to love your headliner. God damn it. Wait, it's me. I'm the headliner. No, it was very fun. I didn't have the typical solo journey without you because I was in Chicago. So Byron Graham, Katie Hannon put me up, and Aaron Urist showed up and hung out.

Damn. Before he attended a funeral for a high school friend, I believe, that offed his own ass. Yay, DIY. That's his own D. Yeah. Made the bravest decision. Manned up.

Yeah. Checked out. Said, Said hey that'll do pig To himself in the mirror That was what the note said That'll do pig That'll do humanity It just says babe It's like we know

2001 Yeah no shit Everybody knows it Babe pig in the city and it's just falling down. Babe's had a tough one. He started shooting people with a sawed off. Babe fires back. Babe bites back.

Pigs bite, man. They do, yeah. God. You can carry a pig bat. They can crush bone. They'll eat a baby. That's a snatch. If you drop a baby in a pig pen, that thing is good as gone.

Bye-bye, baby. Yeah, it's a sweet treat. That's what fucking your cowardly friend should have done. Done a swan dive in a pig pen. It's a tour of a pig farm. All right, and this is where I leave you. Like, well, no, you got to go through the gift shop and then the parking lot's through those doors. Oh, no, I'm not leaving. Yeah, yeah in fact i'm becoming a part of the farm i'm i'm gonna uh donate

a human body i'll be fertilizer for the next round of grain i'm lunch i'm learned but yeah it was very cool to to have Uris there in the green room. Breathing all the air. Was there any room in the green room? This is a big green room. Oh, dude. It's that one in the middle, that conference room, right? Yes.

You did it at Lincoln Lodge. The Lincoln Lodge. In Chicago. In Chicago. Chicago. Yeah, there was the green room for the orange room, which is where we were, and then the blue room. The orange room is is where we were and then the blue room the orange room is where trump hangs out and the show that was gonna happen at our show started at 7 and then this other show

was at 7 40 and it was some like crazy variety show or like a play or something and the two guys as we're like setting up the cameras four by three people are meeting them and we're talking they're going over the show and just screaming bloody murder like freaking out pretending to be to to be killing people or something like there were sound effects i was like oh this is perfect yeah you. Yeah. Oh, good. Yeah, oh, good. You're just going to hear this. But then Chase from 4x3 was like, no, I'm not worried about it. It'll be fine. I was like, really?

Like, it's super loud. But he said it's not an issue. These newfangled cameras. Whoa, a showbiz producer lied to you? You think? Yeah, for sure. You're boned. It's just gonna sound

awful yeah it already sucks yes no i think it'll be okay the uh it'll be fine because there's all that room between yeah it was a big green room separating the two urist was in there absorbing most of the sound i had urist as a dampener he was soaked funener, sound dampener. Yeah. No, it was great to see him. And Rob Gleeson, Jason Melton, Noé Noel did a set. So you had Melton, you had Byron, you had Urist, you had Rob Gleeson. Yeah. Which one of these is not like the other? Rob Gleeson is probably secretly shredded due to his, you know, Jason Bateman-esque physique. Or no, Patrick Bateman. Excuse me psycho christian bale yeah christian bale uh yeah could be secretly shredded

i bet he has that v that points it where all the boys like to hang out the brad pitt fight club yeah sex muscles yeah check out my snooter yeah we should probably get some nudes from him. I would like to see. He might be one of those skinny guys who's all like, what did Sandhub used to say? What's the fish that the boy carries the eggs? Seahorse? Yeah, seahorse posture. He might be one of those guys that's kind of like, remember when they would do zoom-ins on Ren from Ren and Stimpy?

And he'd be all like, you that's kind of like like remember when they would do zoom-ins on ren from ren and stimpy and he'd be all like you know like bent back yeah yeah yeah like world war two like he's ren yeah he's ren like hogganoush when she was fleeing the woods just like an old polish woman gets like stooped she wasn't fleeing the woods she was fleeing the russians she was fleeing in the woods yes i think she was running from trees. She was scared of... She's not as dumb as you. She was scared of... Scared of trees. The owls!

Oh my god, I gotta get out of Ukraine. The owls are everywhere. The owl-menion genocide is upon us. Like, ah, that's not the problem. What the hell is this? The owls took one kid. Grandma. That's not a genocide.

Yeah. One kid does not a genocide make. If it was, I'd be at the Hague. Yes, it was very fun. I wish you could have been there. Where were you January 27th? I was in Santa Barbara.

SB. SB. Filming a Don't Tell comedy set. Oh. Yep. That was really fun. I was outside at like a Scientology center. They wouldn't tell us what the building was. It was clearly a Scientology center. It was immaculate. It was either a Christian science reading room or a Scientology center.

And I was like, what goes on in there? And they were like, so the cameras are going to be right here. I biffed it real hard. Why? Because the host was this guy, Brad. And he kept looking at me eventually I was like I was with Chris O'Connor and Joey Avery and I was like

what the fuck's this guy's deal? I was like what the hell he just keeps staring at me and smiling yeah and I finally went over and I was like hey man I'm Sam and he was like

oh Brad we did JFL together and I was like oh god and he's like yeah I didn't have long hair and I was like

he didn't really have long hair now he immediately tried to cover it wasn't down to his ass no no it's fine man I used to have a whole different head yeah

I used to be Cherokee you guys didn't hang out much or what you know what happened up there it's not like camp where you're bunking well he was also repped. And I was the unwashed pigs. You know, I was

unrepped. The gross patrol. These are the orphan kids. The charity cases. Yeah, the repped guys got to perform in the theater. We performed in the parking lot. You had to bark. Yeah. It was best in show. Yeah, you got

to do an obstacle course. It was like Nickelodeon's guts. The winner gets to do Kimmel. That's why Sharpie got Kimmel from JFL. They fired him out of a cannon. Squirrely, yeah. No, but that Brad guy, when we were at Montreal, we were at some after party afterward,

and I was feeling myself because I'm a nightmare, as I can be. And Brad was doing this bit where i was like feeling myself because i'm a nightmare you know as i can be and brad was doing this bit where he was like oh let's wrestle you know and he's like hey sam you want to wrestle and i said to brad he told me this lady i forgot he was like you want to wrestle and i was like brad i would fuck you up that was his fun montreal story about me you shut it brad i would fuck you up like in, in a room, like, Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee are right there. I just threatened to break him in half.

Ooh. Well, he was... Brad, we did Montreal together. Brutal. Yeah, effectively a brutal. I'm brutal Brad. Hey, I'm Sam. Ouch. Ooh, you gave me the introduction. I thought we wereal Brad. Hey, I'm Sam. Ouch. Oh, you gave me the introduction.

I thought we were making memories. Yeah. I've just been staring at you. I was repped. You were repped. I thought we were having a good time. You were dunked in poutine. Yeah, Chris O'Connor.

You know Chris O'Connor? He did too much fun back in the day yeah he does stuff island now um he was like a ball and you know he's just he's a guy from he's a philadelphia comic new york comic now they're like you know a little different than like the fun santa barbara vibe they were trying to give off so i was hanging out with him and joey and uh chris was like so blown away at the beauty of santa barbara because it's like just transcendently gorgeous it's one of those like weird beach towns you don't think of and it's like perfect yeah a little removed what is it two hours north of la

two hours north on the coast right so it's not as ridiculously packed crowded and not everybody can afford to live there it kind of was like santa fe but by the water is what it reminded me of oh pretty small no no like architecture wise and like vibe wise oh it was like a santa fe meets like you know san diego type thing like more of like an erudite clientele compared to like your fucking la jolla beach scum you know your your lords of dog town yeah surfers from point break. Yeah, yeah, you're extras from American History Extras. Huh? We're casting American History Extras.

Come on. Who wants to get curb stomped? Yeah, so who already has a swastika tattoo and who needs one? Does anybody have any curb stomping experience? Yeah. I thought about that the other day. I played Kirby's Dream Land. Brutal.

Put your mouth on the curb and then you do it because there's a gun to your head. And you're just like, oh, good. Or do you say, no, just blast me. Shoot me in the head. Yeah, don't stomp me. Don't tell your friends you curb stomped me. Just blast me. Give me a bullet.

Don't tell your friends. Hey, whatever you do, don't tell your friends. That'd be the worst that could happen. Don't have a new story to tell because of me. Just shoot me. Hey, don't let me be a fun... Yeah, I don't either. Don't let me be a fucking cocktail hour anecdote.

Yeah, the fatality. Come on. I remember seeing that movie in Alex Nichols' basement. We were like 11 or 12. Oh, fuck. I hate when... I didn't know it was coming. Right, but that is a tough one. You were so young. i hate when i didn't know it was coming right but oh that is

a tough one you were so young i hate when i think about what you saw yeah at such a young age yeah but anyway too but well yeah we all saw some shit yeah but i was a little i felt like a i mean i'm older than you yeah we know you won't shut up about it i I never tell anyone. You love it. No. Oh, yeah. So we're there. Chris O'Connor. And this Brad guy is like a positivity guy, you know? So he's telling us about the lineup. He's like kind of producing it.

And he's like, you know, we just want you to know, whatever happens, have fun. That's all that matters. You know, if it doesn't work out, we won't use the clip. But everyone kills on these things. There's the best crowd in all the world for Don't Tell. That's film here in santa barbara and we handpicked you to be here and he's like being the most positive shit and at one point chris o'connor says in front of everyone who's on the show he was like hey man can you shut up this bad guy's trying to make everyone feel so at home and so comfortable we're a family connor's like please shut up why

i don't know he was sick of it he's like he's hungover yeah he's a little eor s character from philly yeah just gloomy yeah the sun's bright i'm fucking sick of getting sand in my dick yeah the fucking fish was straight out of the water today. This Mai Tai is delightful. Just everybody shut up. Yeah, that was fun. And then we went to dinner. Sharpie drove up with his tiny girl.

You know, 210 pounds of human drove up. They're so little. They're sharp and teared. Little Renee. Oh god they're so she kind of talks like this no she does she's like an animated mouse situation yeah it's like high-pitched i'm not saying she has like you know a cleft palate or a couple extra chromosomes corby corby from boston corbin him. Oh, Corbin. I just told somebody about the... Oh, Kayvon was in Trinidad and I told him about how hard we laughed at the...

I said, I cracked up my own ass hard with the re-employment center and then I remembered Corbin. The character that people are dying to hear more from little Corby he's getting his own

podcast stay tuned Corby's Corner right after this episode switch over to Corby's Corner I can't believe you gave me so much rope on that one usually you cut me off when I do one of my wacky voices well I tried remember

I thought that we were done. Oh, yeah, he left. And I was like, oh, you got to go. And then you tried to bring him back. I had to shut it down. Yep. Yeah, Sharpie drove up. We got to hang out.

We all went to dinner afterward. And O'Connor went from this ball of a gray dour cloud to telling us about how he fell in love with this girl in Colorado and how he thinks about her all the time and how he like you know and then we start talking about how much we love simple things like riding bikes and flowers and it's like this is you?

just be this guy you've been living with Tommy Pope and Shane Gillis too long you gotta let your fucking love flag fly baby he was able to let his guard down yeah yeah philly and new york there's that thing where so many people it can't be silly yeah so many comics think that you have to bust balls and like just crush destroy which is fine yeah it's i mean they're very funny right these ghost comics are notoriously funny right but i'm saying yeah there's

almost like this weird standard that it doesn't need to be a thing and it doesn't need to be a thing all the time i hate when younger comics think that that's how everybody is because like no you don't have to be and if you are fine but if you are emulating that and think that that's what you're supposed to do right you're not being yourself you're being a version of something you've seen and trying to replicate that right it's inauthentic it's just tough you know not a good move in my book no and that's what stanhope always would say he's like there's new york guys they don't allow themselves to be silly they take themselves so seriously it's like it's our job to be clowns yeah yeah, yeah, have fun with that. He called me after the set tonight. Oh.

I talked to him for like 20 minutes while everyone was up here. Oh, that's who you were talking to? Yeah, yeah. I figured it was your damn wife. No, no, I told her, hey, take a pill. Take your medicine, go to bed. Take a pill, babe. Daddy's down in Birmingham making the money.

Take a pill, cha-cha. Hey, cha-cha. Put your tambon in backward. Call me making the money. Take a pill, cha-cha. Hey, cha-cha. Put your tambon in backward. Call me in the morning. So, tell me more about the Chicago situation, though. Chicago. Give me, like, the behind the scenes. Ate like a king.

Okay. Korean. Filipino. Filipino plays with a Michelin star. Whoa. It was crazy. You sure you didn't need a Michelin tire to Filipino gas station? I with a Michelin star. Whoa. It was crazy. You sure you didn't need a Michelin tire to Filipino gas station?

I got a fill up. I had a flat. No, I don't know. It was great. I was very nervous, which was weird because I don't get nervous before most shows because I have been doing it long enough. And usually you're not filming something important. So that was weird. I was waiting for my Uber, just blasting the elf bar. Oh, yeah.

Horn if you're honky. My heart was going so fast, and I was taking deep breaths, and I think the dude driving thought I was mad at his driving, but I was just trying trying to be calm you're breathing like juni i was gorked and uh that was funny like the last time i felt like that was probably when i hosted the show at the paramount theater for high plains oh yeah it was a lot of people or whatever like that that's the only thing that can get me nervous anymore is a big room. Big old place.

Also, you get one take at this. Yeah. Also, you're doing your act. I'd be nervous too. It's not that special. I'm putting out a mediocre. It's not as good as a special. I'm like a fat table. I'm mediocre.

Whoa. Mediocreson yeah anyway we've been talking to each other there was there was only the one show which i didn't worry about or think about until a few comics asked if there was like you're doing two shows or whatever because that's normal or maybe more common usually you take two cracks at it right yeah so i was like ah shit does that would that have made more sense or whatever and i was like nah i've been too late now and i'm just gonna do it you know yeah so uh yeah again, even though I was nervous, I wasn't, like, terrified because I've been doing so many shows with you that I knew what I wanted to do for the set. And I knew that it wasn't, like, going to be, like, live. Like, they're going to chop it up or whatever.

Yeah. Add in some laughs. Yeah. Pipe in some laughs. Some sound effects. From other shows. shows uh-oh lun's rolling around i'm going to hedgehog uh but yeah it was nice that it was a smaller room like it's seats 50 and it was full uh there there was a guy towards the end who uh you know i i was wearing my dog party shirt which is a conversation starter people like to say it out loud they like to ask what the hell oh yeah it is like you said you've heard me say dude i've heard they're a band people

they're a band from the band from sacramento at least a hundred times yeah it gets the people intrigued yeah and it's like who cares i'd never care about what somebody's shirt says no but well you're not staring at someone for a half hour yeah but still it's just funny but yeah towards the end so like there's six cameras in this tiny room it's been said a million times that it's a special recording but then this guy towards the end of my set just goes hey your shirt what's the story and luckily i was like stoked with how things were going because if i were in my own head and like not yeah not like satisfied up to that point it could have like oh my god i could have exploded it could have been a new faces of death just me eating a guy

against his will eating him alive just putting his arm in my mouth and just chewing like a pig just crushing his bones they're sweating you there sweating. You're bombing. Everyone's mad at you. The four by three guys are like calling their bank. This is the one that sank us. You're seeing stars. It could have been a whole other special. It could have been evidence. But no, for whatever reason, I said, it's a band.

End of story. And then I riffed for a while about a dog party and had fun with it. I would have voted for them. I said, yeah, voting third party. Dog party. And then you could do a cool robot dance move. Like, uh-oh, don't hurt him, Nate. Demi Lovato started playing

It would have been funny if you said that And then you did the lasso thing Where you pull yourself across the stage Everyone loses it No way Yeah You do the worm I did the worm

The stage explodes Everyone dies Yeah that was It was very fun I was happy, relieved afterwards. Hopefully, I think it'll look cool. And then did a couple shows the next night at the Lincoln launch. Yeah.

And it was cool to go back and not have all the weird pressure or whatever. Just be able to do a couple sets. I saw Chris Higgins. Yep. He did one of the shows that I did. So that was a very fun weekend. It snowed a lot. It was very cold.

But it's been snowing a lot in Colorado, so it was like, who cares? Yeah, and it's nothing new to me. And people came out because they... It's Chicago. Yeah, they come out. Those cold water cities, they don't give a fuck. They can't. What are you going to do? Live inside? We live's Chicago. Yeah, they come out. Those cold water cities, they don't give a fuck. They can't. What are you going to do?

Live inside? We live on the lake. We're coming out. So, yeah. I was very grateful for Christine Ferreira for helping me out. She does a lot of stuff at Lincoln Lodge. She got me in there. She hosted.

Oh, I was going to tell you because you're doing a podcast tomorrow. She... Sounds like you are, too, by the way. No. Yep. They were like, bring LaHunt. Oh, shit. Yeah. Well, I was going to tell you earlier that maybe it'll be very fun,

because I did a podcast, and I didn't know the guys beforehand, but it was going to be in the Lincoln Lodge. They have a little studio, and it was gonna be in the lincoln lodge they have a little studio and uh it was very fun it was called fuck you dad and it was me and uh two guys mark and nick and we had fun i didn't know what to about how much you hated rick uh kind of it was they definitely like talk about whatever but they have shared and and brought up like dad's stories of of their dads yeah uh so yeah i talked about dick penis yeah and uh god and it could have been called fuck you mom because my mom got some shit too for sure

yeah but uh it was a good time it was supposed to be a half hour i think we did 45 minutes because it was good you were just rolling man they were both funny you get the lun truck on the highway yeah it's doing 100 until it runs out of gas yeah it worked out uh i don't know if it's come out yet or not but um i'll have to try and share it track it down yeah yeah down I was happy with it share a regional podcast it's not regional man podcasts are wherever you are

I'm here right now with you laying in a tiny bed in one of those submarine quarters we're in a drawer yeah we're in a Japanese drawer there's eight dudes in here they're all blackout drunk they all passed out they're all shoving squid in a tramp what is it genki genki genki genki oh god yeah i forgot about that until that um

listener hit us up on instagram to let us know she shared that story on two different dates yeah yeah that's her tinder bio genki genki genki and yeah she was eating sushi on one of the dates i was like speaking of fish yeah speaking of uh the creatures of the sea do the octopus juni they're not just food oh you would like to i was uh i went last at that don't tell thing and uh you know it was a lot of like la like younger comics nervous than like me and o'connor and joey who's been doing it a while and i went up at the end and was just like crushing because you know that's the job it was a real good crowd at the office you know yeah but they were like losing it and then i of course was like yeah look at you guys you're loving it you know that's kind of

the thing is uh i'm not like most comedians. I like funny comedy. And they were like, ooh, why would you say that? Yeah, it came to a halt. Well, I mean, there's definitely like a... The mood changed. Oh, that was unnecessary. Why would you just... We know you're doing well.

We like you. Right. Yeah, that was fun. Yeah, you don't like LA. I mean, I just... There's something wrong with me. Something good's going on, and I'm like, how can I make this harder? How can I make it more difficult to like me in this moment where I'm the king of New Spain?

So that was a fun thing. Sharpie got thwacked, had to go to bed early. Oh, yeah, yeah, they tied it on. He got abso... No, little Renee didn't get drunk. Oh. We were all drinking. We had, like, fucking $500 dinner with, like, bottles of wine, like, scotch and stuff.

Whoa. And they kept bringing out the bottle of wine, because Renee's doing dry January. When they would pour it in the glass, they usually go to the woman, you know, first, let her taste the wine. Make sure it's not poison. Right, yeah, yeah woman, you know, first. Let her taste the wine. Make sure it's not poison. Right, yeah, yeah. Let her pass on first. We don't need you.

To the billiards hall, boys. She's dead. Who wants to go first? To the grab-ass emporium. Yeah. To Jimmy's beef jerky and firework hut. No skirts allowed. Drop trow.

She's dead so yeah i did the classic uh oh yeah no don't don't give her any she's got a problem she's not doing okay she's got about 12 days but the fucking i said you know that she's got a problem and the server was like i do do too. Oh, cool. We're all vaping in this very nice restaurant, just blasting it. Sharpie's doing bits, shaking his little butt. It's ridiculous. Did you get asked to not vape? No. You couldn't tell us what to do.

I guess. I would imagine it's illegal in California to vape inside. It's illegal in Colorado to vape inside. It's illegal in Colorado. Yeah. Okay. Besides like Missouri or probably Delaware. That's a godless place. Pensacola, you can smoke real cigs.

I know. I'll be there Saturday. You can blast in there. I'm doing like, I think, a homosexual club. Nice. Yeah. Nothing on top of Goth Swinger night God In the pit

Man I've told that story to people And they think it's made up Oh yeah No they looked like Extras They were like Hellraisers A bunch of pinheads

They were It was like a crow meet up They were in Rammstein Yeah Orgy Uh huh Little vein A couple mudvaniacs in there

yeah did we tell that story in the fun for sure no we must have i don't think so we did some show in pensacola at like a hampton inn like their bar and we walk in and they're like hey by the way it's goth swinger night. And we were like, okay, sure. And then sure as shit, just like freaks on the leash. Every leash, every kind of freak. They're all going to the bathroom. People are coming out with different color makeup on. They went from like, so yeah, we're in a pit. The show is in a recessed floor.

It's a weird setup. Yeah. All of the goth swingers were, like, over by the pool table. Like, I understand. Yeah, well, I think some of them, they got into the show. They did. I think at first they were standoffish, and then... Well, Wayman was on that show, right?

Wayman. Yeah, Wayman at first was like, hey, y'all, I'm monogamous. I'm dating my high school sweetheart, y'all. Goth? What's that? Seriously. Help. You guys trying to say golf?

You guys got lisps? Y'all saying gosh? Because you don't want to say God? I get it. He's the Lord. I believe in golf. It's his word, his name. Yahweh.

Yahwehman. Come on. Yeah, that felt like a fucking fever dream to be there it's like what are we doing yeah but yeah i think they got into the show and were nice afterwards we talked to some of them yep if they didn't have a ball gag in their mouth yeah if the if their uh if their master allowed them to speak then they were nice yeah they they let me put some sardines in one guy's bowl. That was fun. Pensacola. But yeah, Sharpie got like, he got hosed.

Very drunk. He's sucking down joints left and right. And then we go to leave, and he's like, oh no, where's the car? And Renee's like, I know where it leave, and he's like, oh, no, where's the car? And Renee's like, I know where it is. And he's like, we got to find it. And she's like, I know where it is, Chris. And he's like, no, no, no, we got to. And it just turned out that he was, like, fucking wasted and didn't want to go to the next bar.

Oh, he was tapping out. He was tapping out. With grace. With aplomb. Mm-hmm. That makes me think of Dan jones oh my god in trinidad yep got wasted and there were like six of us that went to a bar a little bit outside of town gino's and we were walking back to town it's like you know six blocks or whatever so and we

know where we're going me and aj finney are sober as a judge you guys run mushrooms judge reinhold i was on mushrooms for some of that i don't know if i was then but we're just like all right yeah we're gonna head back and dan is just so wasted he's just like oh man we gotta we do does anybody know where we're going right now? Does anybody have a clue of where we're headed? Are we in a car? I was like, what? Yes, man. We're going back to where we were. It's been a half hour, and we're just going back.

Also, the city is four blocks long. Yeah, we're on Main Street, so we're going to take Main Street back into town. And he's just, oh, man, we're fucked. It's like, no. Dan, hold my hand. We're going to get back there. Let me give you a piggyback ride. It's going to be 10 minutes, and we're going to be back there.

No, but really, where the hell are we going? Seriously, though, we're lost. We don't have any supplies. We're FUBAR. It's like, no, we don't need a military acronym right now. You're not in the shit. I mean, God bless him. He need a military acronym right now. You're not in the shit. I mean, God bless him. He's a fucking hero, dude.

He was literally in the shit hard. Well, yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's fun to make fun of a drunk guy who's our friend, but also, like, because whenever I do the fort, Dan will be there. You salute him every time you see him. I do, yeah. I take off my hat.

There goes my hero. Every time I do the fort, you know, he ties ties it on tight and he'll be like, thanks for doing it, man. I know you don't have to do this, but we really appreciate you coming down and doing our little club. And I'm like, what are you talking about? I love this room. It's a great comedy club. Right, yeah. I know this is fucking, this is just a real.

I know this is ball torture. I know this is a real goddamn pig fuck of a mess you've gotten yourself into, but goddammit if I don't appreciate the hell out of you. I know there's snipers in the towers and the pins are all pulled. I live a mile away, Dan. I live six blocks away, Dan. It's sold out yet again. Yes.

Oh, yeah. By the way, Northern Colorado people, or if you just want to be a good person and you live in Denver, drive on up February 15th for the Northern Colorado AIDS Project Presents Sam T and the Gang. The benefit show for AIDS. Nice. Yeah, I don't know if people have it anymore. Yeah, it's kind of taken a back seat. Yeah, it's like everyone's got lupus now.

Why did you say that tonight? Everyone has lupus. What was that? It's the new thing. You really have noticed that? I thought you were just riffing. I did riff that, but it's a true thought. Okay.

When you were a kid, no one had lupus. True or false? We didn't know anything. Answer the question. We didn't know it. How many people did you know with AIDS? Zero. I knew about it, though.

It was a thing that everyone was talking about. It was on the news. You know, Maury Povich was bug chasing. It was a cool thing. It was the brand new dance. No one had lupus. And now every third girlfriend you meet has lupus. You got a lot of girlfriends No, every guy you meet

Hey, my name's Bimpo And this is Squarba She's got lupus I'm Corbin, I have lupus We know Corbin Is lupus in the room with you right now? My lupus is talking to me Tell me to do things uh i don't know i mean mara had lupus yeah she was like the first one but also maggie may had it which broke the race barrier

yeah well i i don't know if there's a alarming uptick in lupus. I can't go ten minutes without someone coming up to me and saying, I have lupus. You think it's a false flag? I don't know. Is it like everyone has autism or everyone's a little gay now? It's true. Maybe we're just talking about it more.

There used to be a lupus stigma. Oh, yeah, I don't want to talk about lupus. Nobody wants to admit to getting bit by a tick and then not noticing until it's too late. You sound dumb. That's how you get it, right? I think so, yeah. Tick fight, running the high grass with shorts on? Yeah.

I think you're right. Yeah. I don't know if that's the only way that people get it. Yeah, I think a tick crawls in your people share needles you get lupus oh man i was really hitting i had rock bottom man i was in the woods patrick warburton bit me the tick nice all right new england comics crushing oh yeah you're not supposed to be silly. Huh?

Is that what you meant? No, no, New England Comics. This is not interesting at all, but New England Comics was a comic book store, and in order to get people's addresses to send them flyers and, like, advertisements for their comic book store, they published the tick. Oh. They were the ones who put out the tick,

and it was totally a way to get people's addresses in order to send them, like, mail published the tick. Oh. They were the ones who put out the tick. And it was totally a way to get people's addresses in order to send them mailers and stuff. And then the tick went on to be this massive thing. So anyway, there's a little fun fact. From Wizard1995. It was big? The tick? Yeah. Yeah, it was a phenomenon.

There's been multiple television shows. Yeah, but they weren't like hits oh they were massive hits they're huge in like Korea that's not true you can just say that about Korea or Japan everyone's like oh ah yes

big in Korea so you did that and then what did I do oh yeah I went to San Francisco the next day. I stayed in Japan Town, which was fun, because it was like being in old Japan. You were old stomping grounds. You're acting like you know everybody.

I was. I said, I got the gozaimasu to like three people, and they were like, What? I just assumed that they were first language Japanese. No, in fact. Filipino. Oh. The, in fact. Filipino.

Oh. The trickiest Asian. You blew it. You were biffing it. Yeah. One got a bowl of ramen. It was $20 somehow. I wanted to tell them.

I was like, this is eight bucks in Japan. It's the same chain that was in Japan. That's why I went there. It's $8 in Japan. It's better there. Yeah, but do you realize how insane it would be to tell them that their prices are different than in Japan? Like, why would they be the same? Why wouldn't they be the same?

It's the same ingredients, same cost. So I gotta fucking pick up the dime? Yeah. And I gotta tip, too? Oh, yeah. Someone brings me a bowl of soup. Do they tip in Japan? No.

I bet they do. Hell no. No, but they do the the thing where you like you have to pay a table fee often so it's like a buck 50 to like be allowed in the bar or whatever and they give you a free appetizer for it it's usually bonito flakes it's like shaved squid and emily's like this is gross and i'm like what'd you say oh yeah it's gross yeah i'm to throw this away in the bathroom. I go eat it. Yeah, that's wild. So it's not even really a tip. No, no.

Because you're getting something for it. Well, it's because people will go in and, like, have a beer for, like, an hour as opposed to, like, eating, you know, anyway. But, yeah, I went and did Sketch Fest over there in old San Francisco. You walk by somebody coming out of their house in San Francisco. Hey, buddy, how much is this? How much is this rent? They're like, well, my mortgage is $3,200 a month. In Japan, you can live in a nice place for like $900.

Yeah, sure. It's the size of your own coffin. What are you doing? You're just confused that things cost different amounts. San Francisco's nuts, man. We used to go there

and live like little street urchins. Oh, yeah. I was Big Bill. Oh, yeah? Yeah. From Oliver Twist. Oh.

Yeah, sorry. That was a great reference if you weren't an idiot sorry if you weren't dumber than shit dumb as hell if you weren't

Corbin IRL yeah we would go that's why I tried to tell the San Francisco comics cause it was cool like you know it was like Jane Harrison like uh

Cassine Bentley it was like waiting in line for Brainwash in like 2012 you know I got an open mic in San Francisco and it was just like Sean Keane,

Amy Miller, and we were just talking about how like when I would go out there with you guys or also ganky, ganky crepes. Ganky crepe. Oh, yeah. That was ganky. That was ganky. Whoa. What were they doing to those crepes? That's why they were so good. They put the

rape in crepe. Who does that? What were we eating? those crepes? That's why they were so good. They put the rape in crepes. Fuck. Who does that bit? What were we eating? Who does that bit? Dennis Miller. Dennis Leary did it next. Did it better, too.

But yeah, we would go and just eat fucking ribs and scrape up enough money to get a gram of weed and a couple 40 ounces and live like kings. Yeah, it was a good time we had it made we were all getting laid no one got paid no money yeah we weren't worried about fame or fortune it was just uh yeah we weren't worried about that at all you had your eyes on the prize you know what i mean that that was not to go get a bunch of does to party. Get a little pussy from a girl with yellow pants in the park.

Oh. Oh, yeah. That's specific. That was a nasty time. I'll bet you were gross. I did a nasty thing. I bet she hated it. She loved it.

She said, I'm living. I have lupus. I just got lupus. She's bouncing on you And then you see a tick on her knee But you don't say anything because you're close Because you don't want it to end And then she's like what's this

And you're like ah don't worry about it Let's go get some oldie You can't get any diseases from ticks It's not 2023 Where everyone's getting tick diseases All the time and won't shut up about it. Swear to God, once a day someone will tell me they have lupus or their girlfriend got lupus or their daughter's dating Lupe Piasco. It's everywhere you look.

Yeah, they're watching Lucas, they have lupus. Yeah, that was a fun time, man. We really made it work for us. yeah no that was a fun time man we really made it work for us now it's all views and my agent's up my ass and i gotta get another hour we don't have an agent no i know i was joking i know now we still do the same shit but in slightly cooler rooms and there's a little more money well now people come now people come. Now people come and they like you and they're like, I saw you in 2012.

You were begging my wife in a park. She was wearing yellow pants. Sadly, she passed away due to complications from lupus. But God rest her soul, she loved you. She loved getting it from you in the grass

while a bunch of chinese people watched and it was small and it stank it reeked even in a big open park you reeked like hell she said that you told her i don't wear socks was that my bit what might be, but at least it stinks. I think somebody said that and you liked it. Oh, okay. Somebody in a band, maybe? I don't remember. Denver band?

Maybe a Denver band that you worked with? I was like, that rules. That's mine now. I think you took it. Yeah. You're like, I'm going to bring this over to the comedy scene. Yeah. Everyone hated it.

And present it as my own. I can't remember who it would have been that you credited. It doesn't matter. They're probably dead from the movies. Let's think about it. Probably Reed Wolfe. Yeah. I went and did the punchline with

Jenny Yang. She was very nice. She was a very nice person. She was funny. But she was more of a TV person I think, very accomplished she was in that Jeremy Lin documentary 42 at the Garden I watched that

she has a nice career, she doesn't do stand-up much and all I do is stand-up so it was a little tough I really had a chip on my shoulder oh yeah, because you want to be the headliner well it's like they've had that happen before and you don't like it well they booked this in 2020 it was like the sketch fest dozen it's like 12 up and comers you know it's like then they canceled it in 2020 they canceled it in 2021 2022 they're still wearing masks and shit. It was like you at the airport. It was insane.

Everyone looked dumb as hell. Yeah, well, I told you this morning. That was this morning when we flew here. Very good. That was a long time ago. Yeah. Do you have lupus? No, I woke up at 530.

I'm getting loopy. Yeah, you're really itching it down there, too. I'm itching. You're going for it. I'm not smelling, but I'm itching. Yeah, you're not smelling. A lot of self-control. I'm getting loopy. Yeah, you're really itching it down there, too. I'm itching. You're going for it. I'm not smelling, but I'm itching. Yeah, you're not smelling. A lot of self-control. I'm itchy.

I'm itchy. I have seen, you know, flying often these last few months, I've seen the amount of people wearing masks plummet. It used to be almost everybody. Then when you didn't have to it was like 50 50 yeah and then yeah it's been like you were the only person on the airplane wearing a mask i was the only person at dia that gave a fuck yeah you were like there's like one in a hundred that we looked around and there was maybe one in an airport is wearing a mask there are a lot of you wearing

like your tiny a cup it looks like a little bralette because your face is so big beneath it. Yeah. Yeah. You look so stupid. And I'm also the guy hanging out with you. So I'm like, take it off.

It defeats the purpose if I'm the only one. Sorry, he has lupus. Yeah. I'm immunocompromised due to my lupus. Yeah. And everybody's like, shut up about it. Just shut up. Chris O'Connor, hey, shut up about lupus. Yeah. I'm immunocompromised due to my lupus. Yeah. And everybody's like, shut up about it.

Just shut up. Chris O'Connor, hey, shut up about lupus. God damn it. Yeah, that Brad guy trying to set the nicest table. Hey, can you just shut up? Like, Chris, you could walk away. It was awesome. He meant it.

Yes. He wasn't doing it for a laugh. No. He was annoyed. He was annoyed that this guy was like. With the showrunner that he booked him. Right. That's pretty cool.

Yep. It's cool to be nasty. Is he the one that loves... What is it? Retard Night? Yes. Yeah. Yes.

That was mine. And then you took it. We both said it a hundred times in Wyoming. And he loved it. That was such a bad show wyoming yeah what is it retard night night oh it was a specific you don't remember that oh that was when you were like that was that was right around the time you went to greeley we did that show with bukely and you were like wasted climbed a tree yeah you don't remember that i don't remember dude we did a show somewhere in shithole wyoming rollins probably something terrible and the whole thing was like whoever can say what is it retard night more gets 50 bucks

and i you were headlining with toby i remember. You headlined, and I went up first and said it like probably 12 times. And then you did like a, hey, hold my beer. And you said it like 60 times. No way. Yes, you said it so much. This is all fake. This is all truth. This is real.

And you were tanked. This is lupus all over again. Yeah, had to sigh up. Bullshit. You have an agenda. I don't remember. It's made up by people seeking attention. Any of this. Yeah, had to sigh up. Bullshit. You have an agenda. I don't remember. It's made up by people seeking attention. Any of this. Yeah, dude, you said it so

much. Nice. Yeah. And you got the 50 bucks. I don't think there was 50 bucks. Yes, there was. We weren't paid for that. That's what you like, as they were introducing you, you spun your hat around backward and put sunglasses on. And you're like, watch this, kid.

What is it? Retard night? after i already said how fun is yeah how fun was that for the crowd it's like what is this bullshit there was like you said what is it retard night 10 times for every crowd member there was like 12 people there interesting Interesting. Yep. You were kind of a wild guy. That was a couple of lifetimes ago. Yeah, yeah. That was 2018. That was old Sid. Mm-hmm. Old Sid comes out in Wyoming town.

Oh, yeah. Can we talk about that? What? So, hey, fans, we want you to weigh in here. What should Lund call his special? Oh, yeah. I can't decide. There's a lot of ideas.

There's a few. Yes. Finalists. Go ahead, you talk at the burp. A lot of people want soups on, which I think is fun, simple. I don't want to overthink it. But I also like Old Sid Rides Again, because it's a shout out to the James gang. Which your demographic loves. Uh-huh.

Which your demographic loves. Old dickheads. Dads. Yeah. I didn't tell the joke that involves a hobo named Old Sid. But then, it's like, that's part of the fun. More of an inside joke or whatever for the old heads. Yeah.

For the Lund guys. But yeah, you have a couple of thoughts. So I think Nathan Lund colon Lund. That's my favorite name. Nathan Lund. That sucks. Lund. You have to say it like that in your head for it to hit.

Nathan Lund. Lund. Lund. Or Live Laugh Lund is the complete slam dunk that everyone agrees should be the name of it. Yes, for sure. I mean, it's fun, but it just reminds me of so many times on Facebook in 2015. I would promote a show and people would just, and you would come in and comment like live, laugh,

land or something. And then it would just devolve into everybody using land as a pawn in like a song. But it was always wonderful wife. It was always lawn or London instead of love. And it's like, how many times are we going to do this? Whole lot of lawn,

lawn, the lawn, your baby. Yeah. So it's fun, but times are we gonna do this whole lot of lund lund lund you baby yeah uh so it's fun but just i don't know it just feels like i get like the wyoming days it's like long ago and maybe this needs to be maybe i should invoke lupus since that's the hot new trend live laugh lupus uh i should try and uh try and rile up the lupus community so that i can do benefit shows and whatnot so maybe just do an apology tour sorry for all the lupus you're a super spreader. You've been biting people. I'm masked, but I've also been itching and then shaking hands. You're so itchy. So there's a lot of tick transfer.

There's a lot of tick bites that are getting spread. I think soups on is fun. Yeah, it's fun. Yeah, if you're going to do one of those that isn't the good one you should do soups on you don't like old Sid rides again I think that's pretty funny it's a joke for you

and me it's for literally two people Bobby forgot Chris might remember it if he wasn't all wet brained it's funny when a

little guy gets drunk yeah his hands are so big yeah his massive like meaty mitts from like working with them all the time now yeah guy gets drunk. Yeah. His hands are so big. Yeah. His massive, like, meaty mitts from, like, working with them all the time now.

Yeah. And Rene's all little. He's like, he's like, the car's this way. He walks into the ocean. It's not. He gets on a boat.

It's not out there. Yeah, I think soup's on. I think it's decided right now. Weigh in, everyone. Hit up Lund's DMs and tell him why he's stupid. No, that's not allowed. God, speaking of stupid, how about that lady with the umbrella tonight? You loved that, didn't you?

Just give him a rinky dinky dink. Yeah. She was so... Well, you know what's funny about her? She came out swinging and blew it, and then immediately realized she blew it. Yeah, that was crazy. Self-awareness. Yeah, I didn't see that coming.

I didn't see her checking herself. Yeah. After wrecking herself. Yeah, she wrecked herself. Yeah. Her undies were stained. She was like, ah, sad. She called us joke whores

The joke whores are here That was rough And then we were talking apart from them And then she was like, how can we come talk to the joke whores? And she had an umbrella Because we were underneath Like a lattice work patio That wasn't complete coverage

Even though it was raining tonight In beautiful Birmingham Shout out to all the Lund guys who wouldn't quit telling me that that was fun yeah one guy i'm a long guy little boy el hombre de lond um so yeah so she comes over and she's like oh let me hold my umbrella and she has this umbrella and she just proceeds to hit me in the face with the umbrella two or three times immediately and then scream into my ear because we're now sharing an umbrella. So she's just like two seconds away.

I thought she was filming me because she had her phone in my face, but she was just too dumb to realize that she had two hands. Yeah, she forgot. She's like, so how do you know when you're supposed to be done? Like, you just keep going? How do you know when you're supposed to be done? Like, you just keep going? Or when do you, how do you know when to stop? You were telling jokes. And you were like, yes.

Yeah. And then you'd just keep telling them. You'd just, like, tell another joke. Yeah. And then you'd, like, look down. And then you'd just, like, tell another joke. And it was like, what are you doing, man? The show's got to end at some point.

I was like, what the fuck? Oh, yeah, you were loving it. Because usually you're the guy stuck with the dimwit you fucked me in madison well hold on let's get to the bottom of this okay because then i told her i was like well yeah we have a set amount of time we're supposed to do yeah so like i know i'm supposed to do like 45 to an hour so when that's up i get off off stage. And she goes, God damn it. I fucked up. She was like, I'm so fucking stupid. Yeah, it was crazy.

Yeah, she totally was like. And also, she folded up her umbrella. Oh, shit. God damn. What the fuck, Mandy? You did it again. It was wild, yeah. That's awesome.

She didn't double down. No. She didn't blather on. She wrecked herself, and then she checked herself. I'm so glad you saw that. She apologized. What the fuck am i doing no way mandy here we go again ah god damn it what am i talking about

how long have i been fucking talking why didn't any of you stop me? Yeah, that was a very surprising turn of events. I thought we were screwed. We were stuck with a lot more of like, what did you do? A hundred jokes? God damn. You're still up there.

Yeah, it's very confusing. But then, yeah, she straightened it out. Chris Ivey told me she's been coming to shows longer than he's been doing stand-up. So she's been going to shows for like 10 years and just thinking like, he just knows what he's done. He can just like feel it.

It's like a vibe. He can read it. it. It's like a vibe. He can read it. She made it sound like everybody knew that the show was supposed to be over. Yes. And that you were the only one that was just oblivious. I had no idea. And just fumble fucking around. Yeah.

Sucking your own dick up there. Everybody's like, well, shit, we were supposed to leave like 20 minutes ago. What the hell? I just had a beautiful mind. Walked my way into knowing I should stop talking. Oh, why did I? Oh, why did I... Oh, fuck. Oh, God damn it.

Jesus Christ. What the... Oh, man. But yeah, you really foisted me and Madison because we came upon that couple. And they were wasted at like 4 p.m. On New Year's Eve. It was New Year's Eve, but it was like 4. Because we were headed to Comedy on State and the first show was 5.

So it was early. And they're just wasted waiting for the elevator. I thought we talked about it, but I don't know if we did on the pod. But this couple, they asked us what we're doing and you said oh we're going to comedy on state and like she was like had been sleeping outside 30 years face yeah just like fucking marlboro light 100s and like mike's hard forever mike's scream mike's road hard and hung up wet yeah for years and years you can read this the bitch fell off like passed around by fog hat stir just regular yeah like she's the molly and molly hatchet

yeah and then the guy who like is glad that she lets him do whatever he wants to her that kind of thing yeah uh she had no fixed address. Where are you guys going? Oh, we're going to Comedy on State. Oh, who's performing? You say he is. Immediately, fuck me. That's right. Expertly.

And she zeroes in on me. I'm wearing my hoodie that says Image Brew. And she goes, oh oh you're the comedian Image Brew is that your name? Is that your stage name? And I was like yeah I said yes it is

Nice to meet you I'm Image I'm Image And she wasn't joking she was so oblivious she thought that that was a good stage name. brew it's earthquake also you're wearing your own merch image brew yeah you gotta do it why would somebody buy it if i'm not wearing it already gotta plant the seed man but yeah god she and then of right in my face and you're not being hyperbolic literally face to face yeah in nose in your mouth

in my face spearing spilling her beer on me she's like oh let me hear a joke we're not gonna make it over there i'm not long for this world i'm not allowed to leave yeah i'm not allowed to leave the hotel but don't let me hear a joke. I was like, I don't know. I can't think of any. She goes, well, you better. You're about to go to work. You better think of something sooner than later. I'm like, you're right in my face.

So that doesn't help. And then the guy's like, you're bothering him. Yeah, her comment. I was like, come on, honey. You're bothering him. You're bothering Mr. Brew. Yeah. He's like, hey, by the way, way i be big fan good to see you hey knock him better over there brew up a victory

just uh yeah similar but no it would have been funny if she would have image brew god damn that's not your name fuck that's the dumbest fucking shit anyone's ever said you stupid whore god damn it all right i'll i'll be in the toilet i'll be head down in the toilet i'll be fucking myself over here what else is new another l for tina god no wonder the kids don't answer every time you open your fucking mouth the dumbest shit you've ever heard. You surprise your own fucking ears with your stupid ass tongue. Happy New Year. Another year of dumb assery.

Ringing it in early, aren't you, Wingy? Both of them wearing Paul McCartney shirts, but they weren't going to a Paul McCartney show. No, I think that they met in the parking lot. They probably worked security for a Paul McCartney show. She was Paul McCartney's cousin, remember? That's what she said. As we all know, Paul McCartney's American family. I'm Paul McCartney's cousin.

I can't believe I fucking said that. No one believes that. What the hell? God. Oh, for two. God. Now when she meets people, she's like, I'm Image Brew's cousin. I'm at Image Brew.

You guys know Image Brew, right? I hadn't heard of him, but he looked pretty funny. He was waiting for the elevator. Him and his security guard. They were nice. They loved me. Couldn't get enough of me. We chopped it up.

They invited me on stage. I'm image. I buried him. Two encores. they added a show oh are you gonna sleep in this room are you gonna sleep in one of the beds we have too many options we have so many rooms there's there's 18 beds in here in this loft above uh saturn the show. The Star Party show.

Yeah, yeah. If you're ever in Birmingham, check it out. What was the name of that sweet kid who brought his friend Matt? Chirp? Chart? Cherith? The guy that said he was going to give you wine? No, that guy who said he was a Lundhead. Oh, I think his name's Witt.

Oh, yeah, Witt. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Witt, you're the man. Lund, where are you going to be? Trinidad. Oh, I'll be in Denver March 17th, St. Patrick's Day. I'm doing the coffee joint, which serves coffee.

And then I think they do, I don't know if you can smoke on stage or smoke inside or what they might be a public consumption lounge but that is St. Patrick's Day they don't serve alcohol which is perfect hopefully I don't get my teeth

kicked in by some blackout drunk asshole St. Patrick's Day is rough I know so hopefully this is like a respite kicked in by some blackout drunk asshole. I hope someone throws a skull at you. St. Patrick's Day is rough. I know. So hopefully this is like a respite from the craziness of the holiday. I'm somewhere stupid on St. Patrick's Day. I can't remember.

But hey, coming up, what's today? The second? Yeah. So the ninth is a week from today? It smells so bad. It stinks. And we're in this tiny cave. I know.

It's like I farted in both of our mouths. I'm not sleeping in here. Nobody will. They're just going to close it off. Yeah, they should seal it up with concrete. Woo, that's bad. Yikes. Wrap it up.

I will be... I'm going to really plug all my dates. I'm plugging all the way to December now. I'll be in Wichita, Kansas next Thursday, the 9th at Borges. And then I'll be in Tulsa and then Oklahoma City. The Rodeo Theater is one of them. And then, I don't remember. But yeah, Tulsa, Oklahoma City, go to my website.

And then I'll be in Fargo, North Dakota. Courtney Baca is featuring the last weekend of February. And then I'll be in Fargo, North Dakota Courtney Baca's featuring the last weekend of February and then I'll be in Grand Rapids at Amore hey, the first show sold out in Grand Rapids all you freaks really went crazy for it so buy your tickets at Amore

and then I'll be in Ann Arbor the 4th Toronto, the 10th and 11th oh, I'm at fucking Vegas, I'm doing D dirty at 12 30 on saint patrick's day oh my god what a nightmare ground zero for crazy for mandy's and fucking image bruise left and right real bad uh holy shit shows added providence rh, Rhode Island. March 23rd at Red Door. Two shows there. Come to that.

Burlington Comedy Club or Vermont Comedy Club in Burlington that weekend, the 24th, 25th. I'm at Burlington Coat Factory. I'll be trying on jackets. You're at Burlington Scroat Factory. I hear the floor model. Fuck, I should have said Scroat Factory.

God damn it god the one time idiot New Hartford, Connecticut the 26th of March that last Sunday and then hey

New York City it's not New Hartford it's just Hartford no it's New Hartford oh yeah it says you know anything

well I thought you were fucking up New Haven New Hartford you just mandied your own ass Concord fuck yeah I haven't even been there I've been to Boston and New Haven, New Hartford. You just mandied your own ass. Concord. Fuck. Yeah.

I haven't even been there. I've been to Boston and New York, and that's it for the whole Northeast. I act like I'm a goddamn history buff. That's him. You hear that slapping, which is him putting his face into just a boiled ham. I'm going to eat it. Union Hall, New York, March 30th. The first show is effectively sold out. We added a second show, early show, on March 30th.

So buy those tickets, too. And if that one sells out, we're going to do March 29th as well. But March 30th, buy your tickets from New York. I love you all very much. Lund, anything you want to say? Check out the Patreon. Oh, fuck yeah. Get on that fucking Patreon, you dipshits.

There's so much good stuff on there. You won't regret it. It is a hoot and a fucking holler. Also, I think we should get a Discord going on the Patreon. Oh, yeah? Let us know if that's a thing you guys want to engage in. We'll get on there. We can all say it in there.

It'll be fun. You can have screenshots. Yeah, I think a Discord might be fun to be able to talk to the freaks. We love you. Patreon.com slash ChevyBohemoth. Five bucks a month. Come on. Put some fucking cheddar in my pockets.

Come with it now. I'm coming out to Stone Cold. What? You have been. Bye-bye.