Chubby Behemoth - No Hotel No Ride

Episode Date: May 3, 2026

SEE THE BOYS LIVE - https://punchup.live/samtallent     Sponsors: Hims - Support the show & get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care with HIMS @ http://hims.com/CHUBBY     Rocket Money - Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster at http://RocketMoney.com/CHUBBY     PATREON EPISODES: https://www.Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth     This week the boys are coming together remotely. Sam tell us about a boat comedians confusion and disbelief, remembers meeting with the Mr. Belvedere producers, and asks Becker about getting a sweet ride. Nathan reminds us that zyn is for listening, wants to see the ship clips, and doesn't want to get caught in-between.     00:00 This Moment 01:55 Farewell Tour 03:13 Strange Rabbit Puppet 06:25 Got Surprised 08:32 The Least Revered 11:41 Some Comics Sing For The Closer 14:03 Like That Mermaid 18:11 Weaponizes It 20:21 A Boyish Nurse 23:32 Get 'Im 27:25 They Got A Magnet 28:57 Traditionally Attractive Comics 31:12 Giant Waste Of Time 34:25 Dog With A Blog 37:30 Covered Up 39:55 Keep It Up Boys 41:20 Exposed Manhole 44:23 Perfect Balance 47:11 It's On Their Gloves 51:14 Men Have To Work 53:14 Enjoying The Ownership 55:25 This Is On Me Folks 56:45 Longmont Potion Castle 59:40 Denver Used To Be Cool 01:03:09 New Linen Pants     Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   MORE WIDE WORLD: @SamTallent   Pre-Order Sam's New Book - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0593978897/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3I4LOBQ02YIGW&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.k5eCApJdjwVfn7hSelWi5VdRMlVrzKa4zf68ficcjcg.tZZOiI0nB0n3kkWiGAbidMQy5yUS_MkvmEIaXp-LXjo&dib_tag=se&keywords=sam+tallent+brut&qid=1769522903&sprefix=sam+tallent+,aps,181&sr=8-1&dplnkId=90401c83-a6a0-4ad4-999e-ece570a5d320&nodl=1

Who is it, Lund? It's a person that exists in the past. And all that we have right now is this moment and the moment that comes after. This is the one and only chubby behemoth podcast. Yeah. Woo. We made it. Before the pod started, Becker demanded for me half of $1,000, $500.

He said, if you and Lund want to keep your fat boy shit show on the tracks, I'm going to need $500. And then he said, Lund, for the Patreon to keep going, he has a similar proposition for you, but instead of extortion, it's something he calls sexstortion. So I don't know what that's going to look like, but I'm going to guess it's probably wearing a Raphael mask. Good luck with that. Yep. A lot of Raphael mask and Eskimo kisses. He said he couldn't get to me because I'm too far away.

But getting to you is like getting to me. So good luck. He wants to hurt you. Yeah, he wants to hurt you even more than killing you, torturing you, is to torture me, instill fear in you that I'll be gone forever. It might not be tortured. You might love it. I'm not sure. You're at an age where different smells go from shit to flowers.

So let's see. In my recent past, oh, I was going to say he needs half a thousand dollars because he's getting double. haircuts now. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Front and back. He's addicted to haircuts.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. King swoop. Stay golden, Becker. Did you get it straightened? No, I just took a shower. I went on a walk this morning. Did you get your hair straightened?

Tell us the truth. No. The bald shit is like straightening because it's thin. And it's just not the same. But all this shit is still Grandpa Monster. Huh. It's just wet. My hair has figured itself out.

everything's fine on my end. Well, I'm not far behind you. The guy who cut my hair last week even said he's like, you might have one or two more haircuts in you. And I was like, oh, what? He's calling it. The farewell tour. Your kiss in 87. While he was doing it, he's like, do you want me to leave this like a lot?

And I was like, no, I don't need to do a comb over. I'm just going to brush my hair. You need to do a comb over, actually. For my 10-year anniversary party, you have to show up combed. All the way over. You can go back. You can go big and back. Yeah.

Like, remember girls in 2006 when they'd wear like six camisoles and they'd have that weird like hump forehead hair? Yes. Yeah. Just glistening, stretching their forehead. Brittany Lemoyne. What a babe. She had stupid hair. But at the time it was very cool.

And then she like received breasts for Christmas or something and we all couldn't figure it out senior year. The last half of senior year, it was like, what is going? on when he left the comb over and like popped it over i looked like the dad from alf i looked like willie yeah it sucked well you went from alf to alf's dad which is good yeah human yeah no one looks like the uh the strange rabbit puppet puppet that bobcat goldthwaite did the voice of on that show on c w remember that dude gregg the bunny yeah Greg the bunny yes lund you're Greg the Bunny. Dude, Greg the Bunny is where I initially got like

crazy sexually awoken by Sarah Silverman. No, Sarah Silverman's so fucking hot on that show. It's ridiculous. I wouldn't know. I wasn't allowed to watch Nicky or UPN. It's Eugene Levy. It was a great show.

It wasn't a great show. Oh, I'm thinking of a different show. They did two versions of it. They did one for IFC where they like mocked movies. and they did one on Fox that went to CW that was like a real world where puppets existed with humans and they were producing a show, but all the puppets were degenerates. It was anything goes fuckfest. It was the first X-rated TV show on network. It was huge.

Yeah. What was the one with Nikki Cox? That was Greg the buddy. No, nobody could see it except for the dad. There wasn't that Pupperson was tiny. Is that the show? Oh, there is another one. One with a rabbit where no one can see it but the dad.

I remember what you're talking about. That's Nicky Khan. Two rival rabbit shows? Yeah. On TV TV television? They were similar. That was back when they did that with everything. Remember that comedian who had a headband whose name was like Super Greg or something?

Yeah. Remember him? Who was that? Yeah, but I can't place it. He was like the top of show business for three years in the 90s because God was dead. and no one was watching. Yeah. I'm thinking of Unhappily Ever After.

Ah, yes. Yes. Yes. Oh, they're saying that... That one's Knessin, though, right. The kid gets a schizophrenic disorder. Or was... Kinnison couldn't have been both.

Uh, that's Bobcat. Yeah, that... Or Bobcat. This one is Bobcat. The other one, I think, was just a weird puppet guy, all of the Alf creator. And I think that other one with Greg the Buddy, that one, was voiced by this guy's Super Gregg, or whatever his fucking name, was yeah i would believe this

Greg the bunny is eugene levy Seth green fat 90s comedian with headbands yeah Sarah silverman plays the boss and she's always in like a crazy tailored power suit looking hot as hell Greg the bunny was voiced by

Dan Milano huh but that's not who you're thinking of Sarah Silverman nude no you don't have an answer for that Siri then what am I paying for Siri X for it. Why am I? I have triple X

Siri for some reason. Get to it, Grock. Oh, do you have big news you wanted to share on the pot, Sam? I have a note written down that I'm going to lose in a minute. You're going to lose it? What's on the timer? No, my screen will lock and I had open a screen with the email for this

Anna lady, and I'm closing it because we're doing fine. Let's see the lady email. Put it up on the screen. No. Yeah, I have big news. I don't know. I'm worried that I can't really tell the story without looking like a monster. Because the reason this story is fun, I think Nathan Lund is also going to be mega pingo for this story.

I hope. I don't want to build it up too much, but I don't know how to really tell it. Do you want it on the free one? Yeah, the free one's fine. My wife was, yeah, you're not sorry. You don't have any repentance. You leaned closer so we could see your... I leaned closer to fart.

And what? You got surprised? And a burp came out. You have fucking flagelline Alzheimer's. You farted and burped at the same time. Yeah. And I had to puke right before we started. Me too.

You have three days to live. You have three days. This is the ring. Why did you puke? I don't know. I had my protein shake with a little bit of oat milk creamer. in it. Oh, yeah. And my stomach hurt and I pute. I think my sinus is really. Your body rejects it. It's been 75 for like a week and it's 30

fucking degrees this morning. So I think my sinus is just gagged. Joe List has the same thing as you. Joe List has MS. No. What? What? Yeah. What? Or not Joe List. Joe Gray. My brain's fucked. Joe List has all. I would never bring up Joe Gray on the podcast. I think we did. to pretend like he was a bouncer at your sex party, I think. I love Joe Gray. Joe List has the ear thing? Yeah, Joe List has the crystal disorder. Oh, fuck.

Yeah. Is he doing okay? No, no, he's actually been upside down for three days. Oh, no. Yeah. Fuck. I listened to Tuesdays, and he was talking about having ear crystal disorder. Damn.

Yeah, we're like, the doctor, like, laid him on his back and lifted his legs up, and he was like, ah, ha. He might want to get tubes. He's had tubes. Yeah. Him and Norman both had tubes. As kids. So on cruise ships, where my wife was.

All right. She was at sea with six spirited women enjoying David Bore's Petro's Bachelorette party. Now, on these cruise ships, Nathan, there are a variety of performers, right? and the least revered amongst your cruise ship entertainment cadre are the comedians. Is that fair to say? I mean, yeah, there's more pomp to a magic act. If you can sing, even cover songs, if you do them well, people love it. Some comedians sing songs for their closer, you know.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. A little bit of everything. And look, there's a line when I was a young man, obviously cruise ships had this negative connotation wherein that's the graveyard. That's like the last hope for your old road dogs that the industry besmirched. In my book, famously, his big aspiration is to be on the cruise ships, which is, which denotes where he is in show business. Retirement home. But now as I get older, there's a lot of great comics on these boats, Phil Prow. Alice Hall, Nora.

That's changed in the last like 15 years because younger comics have been offered that gig. But like you said, yeah, funny comics have been on ships. I think they started to want a better comic, I think, on the cruises. Sure. I think that's very true. And Black Lewis Johnson is one of the best comics ever. Ever. And riffing too.

And so on a ship, he's just soaking in every morsel of material of ammo that he needs to then obliterate that crowd with their own selfishness and greed and lack of fashion. Like, he's just cat, I would love to go on a cruise and watch Lewis once a night for a week. That'd be nuts. That'd be great. I'm sure he's killing people. Mm-hmm. Or he's phoning it in and singing. Maybe he doesn't give a shit now. He always gave it. He always gave a shit. He always wanted to crush hard. He'd come into the fucking squire in like a trench coat like Raphael going to the movies. You'd be like, I think that's Lou. Like I remember so many times not seeing him until he was crushing on stage. And it was like, where the fuck was he? Yeah, agreed. He would be like an old man kind of lurking. And then you'd be like, oh, fuck. This dude who barely talked.

is now the funniest man alive. Man, yeah, he could get in there and whip him into a frenzy. And then he'd leave because he was married and wasn't looking to like hang out. Right. Yeah, he was he was good at just come in, win the fucking bar tab bail. So he's the man. And there's many comedians on these boats that are very good. And then there's some other comics who were on these boats.

I receive a text from Emily. I'm in Montreal. She's in Mexico. There's like a three hour time to her. So at the end of the night, she would text me like, hey, safe, back in the room, love you. I'm long asleep. So I wake up one morning to a text from my wife that says, do you know who Spencer James is? Oh, dude, I called it.

I called it. Did you call it? When you said some comics sing for their clothes, I was like, holy shit, was Spencer on this fucking cruise? And I almost said, you know, some guys just work really hard at comedy for 40 years. and, you know, they just kind of want to retire and be at C and see the world. Then some guys win the World Series of Comedy and then nothing else happens. And so I get a text from Emily that says, do you know who Spencer James is? I want to say my exact response.

You said, you don't? Yeah, I was like, who doesn't? You mean empressario? The kid? I said, she said, do you know Spencer James at 4 a.m. I wake up at 11 a.m. the next morning, I say, God is real. All caps. God is real. She says, L.O.L. I said, is he the boat comedian?

And she said, yes. He's a captain. Yeah, no, he's the head of, he's the head of, he's a doctor on the boat. I said, I've disliked him extremely for 18. years. He did the World Series of Medicine and now he's a doctor. Cruz. I said, did you see his act? So Emmy calls me and she tells me this little story.

My wife's on the boat. Every night, the girls have organized theme nights. So this night it happens to be under the sea is the theme. My wife is... Yes, under the sea word. Yes, under the sea word and there's no room. They're all served. They're all stuffed under there. They're serving more roles than that place in Missouri where they throw the rolls at you. I mean, they are they are body rocking, you know?

It's a quake. It's earthquake and typhoon and typhoons got the night off. So it's just a montage of women twerking. My wife is wearing a red gown and she has a red wig on and she looks like, she looks like that mermaid that we can't say the name of for legal purposes. but a very famous mermaid from an animated film. It's from a German fairy tale. You can say it.

Do you know Ariel Elias? Well, my wife is Ariel, the mermaid. Yeah. Hey, everyone, if you want to see me do stand-up comedy, this is Sam, by the way, in case you're an audio only, or one of those shovel victims who watches, I will be at, well, I bet that's sold out. I'll be in Buffalo, New York.

I'll be in Buffalo, New York, the 7th, 8th, and 9th. London Becker won't be there, so those will be good shows to see. And if you want the full... If you want Sam Alder yourself. If you want the full throttle, wicked friction experience, come see me at Rosemont with London Becker. Yeah. Zany's Rosemont, the 14th, 15th, 16th. And the 18th and 19th, I'll be downtown at Zany, Chicago.

Now, guys, if you were considering going to either of those shows, just please buy the tickets now because they do this weird thing there where they wait for all of the shows to be at 80% sold before they add the late shows. And that's annoying. So just please buy your tickets. Madison, be there the next weekend. I'll be doing a bunch of bar stool stuff while I'm up in Chicago. Grand Rapids, Austin, Syracuse, Tulsa, Oklahoma City, Nashville,

Naples, Tampa, Virginia Beach. That's me through August. Get your tickets. You can go to samtallent.com again now, or you can go to PunchUp Live, Sam Talent. Pre-order Brute, please. Pre-order Brute, because I got something to show, y'all. The link is in the description for everybody watching or listening. It's on all apps.

Check this out, you pig fucks. Yeah. There it is, man. That's the real deal, Holyfield right there. This is the book. Brute. It's beautiful. It's perfect.

God, I can't wait for you guys to see it. Especially you, Lund. I think you're going to like the nice surprise in here for you. Check this out. Center foam. They printed a nude. Oh. For the parts, I made him do full page black.

Yeah, I like that. Yeah, dude, it's hard as hell. It's a great book. I'm so proud of it. I'm so proud of it. Yesterday that Emily and I opened him up and I was like just laughing. She says, what's so funny? And I said, I am so proud of myself.

Look at that. You're holding my dream come true in your hand. This is insane. And she was like, all right. And then she's texting someone. And I'm like, who are you texting? And she's like, this guy named Spencer. He's really funny.

and then I jump through the window. Well, yeah, you didn't have this exact, the first book, you didn't have the big publisher. You had a lot of uncertainty and the hope that people would buy it and that it would get momentum or whatever. So that was very disjointed and scary, I'm sure, and then it paid off. This is like the dream where you have.

this whole, you know, team helping you and, and you, yeah, and you, now you just get to be excited about what happens with it with this whole, you know, mechanism to help you. Hopefully this will be the biggest year of my life and it will move things in a trajectory from here between this and then hopefully like writing the screenplay and then this other other thing that I'm writing. I just really, hopefully we can, we can really start scraping the big cream this year. But until then, guys, you know, we got to keep the lights on here. Join the Patreon. Please.

Really good stuff. Hilarious shit. You guys love this pod. Just give us an extra five bucks. It's so good. And it's a $1.25 for an extra hour of hilarious shit every week from your two favorite guys and lines. Less than a can of soda. Yeah, less than a can

of soda. So get in there, boys. And girls. And the genderless view. so she looks like a fucking knockout and my wife's very attractive but sometimes she weaponizes it and it's shock it so

my sister is also done up to the nines she's uh now we're talking yeah my sister's dressed up like one of those puffer fish that'll kill you if you taste it and so Emily goes up to the bar and there's a guy standing there

it's packed you know it's the nightclub at the bar on the boat. And she's trying to get a drink. And the guy says something to her. And my wife says, you know, something mean, I'm sure, knowing her. What, stupid? Speak up, idiot. Hey.

My wife says, loser says what? Just kept me the white wine. Pardon me, gay one? Toad. Yeah, I need a gallon of rum. Did you not hear me? Two straws. I'm sharing it. So a guy says something to her, and she's, you know, they're talking.

And he's like, I can't get a drink either. And I work on this damn boat. And she says, what do you do? And the man says, I'm a comedian. I'm the comedian on the ship. Life changer. Some call me the life changer. Yeah.

What am I? I'm the ascended finger of God is what I am. The dream weaver. Yeah. What am I living my dream at sea? So she says, oh, you're a stand-up. Do you know Sam Talent? Spencer says, yeah, I know Sam Talent.

She says, oh, cool, I'm married to him. And Emily says, Spencer goes, have a nice cruise. What? No, you're not. You're not. You're not married to Sam. And she says, yeah, yeah. Shut the fuck up.

Right, yeah. You, a siren singing me to the shore. Yeah, exactly. He takes out his glass eye, blows on it, pops a bit. He says, Sam's married to like a nurse or something. Oh, my God. And Emily, that's the worst thing you could say to my fucking wife. To a plain, to a very plain looking, to a boyish, boyish nurse.

Yes, exactly. Yeah. He's married to like, like, like, You know, what fuck? I can never remember her name. Spanky from the little rascals. Yeah. He's married to like a little toad woman.

He's married to like Tilda Switten type, right? Who like is an anesthesiologist. Emily says, no he's not. He's married to a doctor and it's me. So she's pissed now. Which is the worst thing that could happen. Throws the wig at him. the horseshoe came out

god it's so crazy how every time he jokes on the zin they're not for talking the tins should say not for talking yeah for thinking it's time to it's time to listen not for plotting no dunking no dunking on anyone

when you've got a zin in and look dude there but for the grace of God go I obviously. So like I feel I feel bad telling this story. Not really well. He'll be fine. I made $30,000 on those ships last year. Oh, come on.

I'm farting. Oh yeah, I was going to say if people, if people don't remember Spencer, he's the guy from the chicken wing story. Yes. On the road. Oh, the friars off. I'd love chicken wings. And then like the guy finally begrudgingly makes them.

He takes a bite. Oh, they're spicy. And then he doesn't eat them. Yeah. And made you, made you sleep in the tub. Made me sleep in the tub. Same, same weekend? Yeah, same weekend.

Yeah. Green River, Wyoming had to sleep in the tub. So that he could get laid. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I also had to, I've, I told Emily. Because when Emily, like, says, who is this guy? I say, remember the chicken wing story, Emmy?

A guy who made me sleep in the tub? And she was like, oh my God, for real. And also, he made me split gas on those runs. That's the big issue with him. Look, when you're making 25 a set. I'm making 50. He's probably making 300 to 400. I'm 19.

He's, you know, 27. So he's a crafty veteran of the road. He knows the rules. I'm not supposed to pay half gas. And I'm also not supposed to pay for meals. And whenever young comics, I pay for their gas, like I was, you know, in Montreal, all I pay for Jacob Silva's gas and he's like oh you don't have to do that I'm like yes I do there's nothing altruistic about this I don't enjoy this I'm not showing you what a good guy I am

I'm pissed this sucks and these are the fucking rules and I'm following them and that's also why I bought your multiple breakfasts Jacob all right so no I'm kidding he's just a piece of he's a larger fellow so Emily says he's married to a doctor and it's me and he says no it's it's not you Sam like, no, no. And Sophie, or Emily says, Sophie, you know, and then, you know, fucking. Get him. Yeah.

Exactly. Hey, I'm going to call my thumper over. First of all, if Emily's on the pitcher's mound and you have to call in the reliever, you don't want to see Sophie coming out of the bullpen. No. That's like, fuck. Especially black lady cruise ship energy Sophie. All right.

She has like a gray weave in. She looks like storm. It was insane. Whoa. Yeah. It was crazy. Holy shit. So she calls Sophie over and Sophie's like,

who do I need to kill? You know, or whatever? And Emily's like, do you have your ID on you? Sophie pulls out her ID and says, this is Sam's sister Sophie. Sophie, how do I know your brother? And Sophie says,

you're married to him and Spencer says no no no so he still refuses to believe I'm a I'm a cruise ship comic so I know what I'm talking about yeah yeah I know Sam he's not married to you you're not yeah he's really nailing it so far so he's like oh yeah I wonder what's what's Sam up to and my sister says you know what my brother's up to So he's like, oh, yeah, yeah. He's like, he's like doing the road, right? Didn't he write a book? And Sophie's like, yeah, he wrote a book.

His next one comes out in September. Random House picked it up. And Spencer's like, all okay. And Emily's like, yeah, we bought a house in Detroit. I'm out there. I'm doing medicine. And he's like, no, Sam lives in Denver. And you live in Detroit.

So like, this isn't adding up. Oh, my God. he's so smart he's such a sleuth well what's going on here is he doesn't want to admit that it's 2000 it's 2011 and sam lives in denver and i'm killing it and everybody's jealous of me i'm the best to ever do it i'm represented by those two old guys

that produced mr mr belvedere yeah they were the guys he told belvedere who's sam rep by oh c a who were they We got sweeps coming up and numbers are down. So we need something big. But it can't be in the show because, you know, we've already written the show. We don't have time to rewrite the show.

We need something behind the scenes. And we, hey, we know what you're working with down there. It's time to fall on your sword. And sit on your sack. Yeah. Those guys. Dude, those guys were crazy. I thought they were the kingmakers.

Remember the guy's name son was Rick, right? Rick was the old guy. They were both. It was Rick and Michael. God. Yeah, they would have these like meetings, Becker, where it would be like me, Rob Gleason, Lund, Spencer James, and they'd be like, here's how you boys are going to break into show business.

And it was like, no, no, no, literally. It would be at Sam's number three. I went to a couple lunches with like four people at Sam's number three. Troy Walker. And they were like, yeah, yeah, we understand show business. We can get you guys on the Comcast channel. And we were like, really? So I feel like there was there was sometimes I think where they were full of themselves and other times.

Maybe early on they were talking some shit. And then it's, I remember them saying, look, we're just trying to help you guys. We don't, we know some people. But we, but we're not like connected or whatever. I made fucking Mr. Belvedere or whatever. They didn't say anything to Belvedere. They just pushed his balls under his. See, they set him up.

Yeah. They got a magnet and they held it underneath his butt. So that way his, the metal in his zipper would pull backward along with his balls. And that's how they switched his sack. Bob Euker's there feeding him cheese. You've heard that story. No. Yucer telling Norm about being on Belvedere.

He's like, yeah, so fucking Belvedere, you know, they got this crap services table there. Belvedere walks up and I'd say, yeah, you had any of these mozzarella mozzarella balls, Belvedere? And he's like, oh, those are fucking good. So I keep, uh, every, every time I see an old Belvedere, I feed him a mozzarella ball and he's eating num, he's popping them, man. He's loving them. So a couple weeks later, I get a called into the production office and they say,

you got to quit fucking feeding Belvedere cheese. He's getting fat. He's eating too much fucking mozzarella. So there's also that story. And so Spencer's like, yeah, Sam lives in a, he, lives in Denver and Emily's like, I know everything. I know everything about show business. I read the tree. Yeah, yeah. I have a variety right here. And Sam's name isn't in it. So they showed him their two driver's licenses. Yes, yes, yes. And also, if you're going to try and

impress the boat comedian and lie about being married to any comedian, as Emily pointed out later, there's a lot more traditionally attractive and or successful comics to lie about. So why would Emily, who's dressed like the queen of the sea, be like, oh yeah, I'm married to Sam Talent.

Known Thumb skull. You know that? You know, remember that white guy whose hair is either there or not? Yeah, yeah. That's who I'm married to. Sweet piece of ass,

Sam Talent. She has no benefit to gain by lying about being married to me. So he's like, so he like comes to terms with it and he's like you're so pretty and emily's like okay and he just keeps saying you're so pretty good for sam good for sam you're so pretty that's what emily's like all right this guy's fucking weird leaves him be uh and then i wake up to do you know spencer james and i get to do the math of not only is he on the boat, but my wife, who's dressed like a beautiful mermaid,

got to absolutely weaponize her sexiness and crush him. And that's the funny thing, is like, I don't dislike any comedians, except for the ones from 2006 to 2010, who, you know, butt fucked me over very small sums of money in the mountain time zone. So it couldn't have happened to a better guy. as far as I was Yeah, you walked away stunned He's like, it just doesn't make sense I was there, I saw him

He used to say that our shit was too alt And we had to have like a big musical closer Because he used to close on singing a rascal flat song That's peak comedy He would sing a sincere rascal flat song as his closer That's gross He had it all He was a triple threat

He had it all, now it's gone. Well, like we were saying, I would imagine that gig is pretty good. Yes. And I'm sure he got better at stand-up, unless he doesn't care. I'm not sure. But he cares. Yeah. But he did, yeah, the World Series of Comedy, everybody knew it was a giant waste of time,

except for the people that would do it. Jeff Cohen does it every year as if it's helped him at all. Right. The most delusional amongst us are the ones who are signing up for the World Series of comedy satellite events in Pueblo. Yeah. God, that's so perfect that it was Spencer. But did they watch his act?

No, of course not. They were having fun. That sucks. I wish we could have more intel. His clips are online. You can see all of his clips. From the ships, though? I want to see the ship stuff.

I think it's ship clips. That's the name of his Instagram. Ship clips. The ship mentor. the ship mentor and it's me captain ahad can you imagine if somebody said to him yeah we're excited to watch you the last the last cruise ship we went on uh louis johnson was the comic and he was so funny and then spencer's like he's like can you hold my drink and then he just jumps overboard he pukes oh god i'm sick you looked fine yeah i don't know it's going around yeah uh

Fuck, dude, that's so funny. I know. I didn't mean to build it up too much, but... Of all the people who would understand how much this moment meant to me, it's you, Nathan Lund. I've got something to say, Sam. If something's been off in the bedroom today... Jesus. Oh, man.

What? That puts a damper on what I was going to say, which is that Emily told me something... Something has been off in the... bedroom. Oh, yeah? Yeah, she can't get Spencer off of her mind. Oh, God. For your issue. We have fun on here, but let's not go crazy. She fucked up. Hymns is here to help, Sam. Hymns is here to help fix your marriage and bring her back. Oh, good. It's not going to throw that way. She's going to throw the wig away. Hems helps you get personalized prescription treatment options for ED with trusted generics that cost 95% less than brand names.

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important safety instruction and information whoa fuck yeah man that is and that's funny too because I was looking at IMDB a couple days ago. And, oh, because we watched Ready or Not, too. So I looked up the actor that plays the sister of the main character because she looked familiar. She's in a bunch of stuff, but I didn't know who she was. But she was on Dog with a Blog. And that was like a kid show that was on for like three years. But I helped Rob Gleason read for the part of Dog, the Dog with a blog.

We went to a recording student. in Denver and I fed you know I read with him I read the lines of the other characters or whatever and he was great I don't know who the guy was that got it but Rossineo nailed it no some guy but Phil Lamar so I text I text Rob was always reading for black guy roles and wondering wondering why he didn't get him yeah so I I texted him I said is this oh and I I tried to fuck with him I said is this hey is this Rob. And I thought usually I tell somebody who I am so that they know so that they if if it's their number, they know it's me. They get back to me. But I wanted to fuck with him. So I just said,

Hey, is this Rob? And I wondered if he was squirming. If he saw the 303 area. Oh, and I told Megan, I was like, this is perfect because either he has my number so he knows it's me because we're actually friends. Or he doesn't have it. And therefore he deserves to squirm and wonder who with the 303 area code is texting him right uh but instead but he he passed a fit friendship test because he said uh yes i know who this is it's eugene kenny yes and i said that's right can you open for me and carney and for some reason instead of saying 75 a show i said two shows pays 450 no hotel and after the fact i was like i looked like a fucking like i forgot where i came from yeah as i said anything close to that for opening.

Uh-huh. The no hotel was obviously funny. But then he hit, he hit me back. Must work clean. Shows at noon. Yeah. Um, we have to sleep in the car.

We get to. I said, or he said, uh, I'm busy that week already opening for Paul, Paul Berlucci. Paying. Beng 150. No hotel, no ride. Which is also, that was always clutch.

There were like three of us that had a car. So we were, we were always teaming up. But yeah, Rob, Rob said he'll be around. In Chicago. We'll all hang out in Chicago, yes. Yeah, yeah. He has beautiful children now. He sends me pictures of his kids.

They're awesome. I didn't know that. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, dude, Paul Berlushe. Remember him and his shiny pants? We thought he was going to be at top of the pops. No, we didn't. Dude, yes.

I was younger than you and I wasn't as crafty. Remember, I thought you invented storytelling comedy? Like, I didn't know shit about. Fuck. Yes. So yeah, I remember Paul Berluschet with his like faux hawk and his technologically advanced pants. And I was like, fuck.

Where do I get cool pants? I already have an act, but that's not helping. Paul surfaced. I saw Paul recently. He came to a show. At a show. Yeah. And he was in the meet and greet.

I was like, he has, he has his old timey microphone tattoo covered up like it was a prison swastika. And it's still a windmill for some reason. he got the microphone turned into a swastika because he was sick of having to explain that he did comedy for three years it's less embarrassing got the it's a better conversation starter than oh i did comedy for five years and i got a microphone tattoo because it was my whole thing i got the microphone that elvis used at sun studios in 1963 tattooed on my leg i'll never see this microphone in real life, but it looks classier than a sure 58. So I have to fucking forgot about that tattoo.

I have to go for the Ella Fitzgerald. I remember when it was all shiny. He was on stage and it was all shiny. It was like fresh. And he was at Comedy Works and it was like, you know, the plastic wrap on it. Oh, it was on his forearm. It was on his forearm. Yeah.

And he, uh, and he like had a bad set at Comedy Works on a new talent night. And he had a microphone tattoo and me and Roger were in the back laughing so hard. It looks like it's long. leaves for the rest of the weekend. Oh, shit. Fuck, man. Those are the days. PBS.

PBS, I guess we thought he kind of had something because he had a good look and he was young and hungry. Yeah, he burned out. I wonder if he had kids or anything. Like Rob. I don't know. I think he's super happy.

I mean, Rob, like, you know, I think he still does corporates and stuff and like, you know, has a million dollars because of his great job in Chicago and his beautiful family. So, anyway. Oh, fuck. I mean, I was excited, and that is funny, between me Dishing with Rob and you getting into it via your wife and sister with Spencer, that is a blast from the past fucking 2009 and shit. You text Rob, you're like, hey, it's Lund. He's like, oh, I know.

How's Chella? Like, right away. Yeah. Yeah, that was, that was very. I told Megan that whole deal. Oh, wait, no, I didn't. I told her about, yeah, just his sexual journey. He's been everything to everyone.

He's figured it out. It was funny, too, because, like, him and Troy were best friends. I don't know if I've said this on the pod before, but yeah, then Rob, like, came out. Rob was, like, really bad at girls. And I was like, oh, okay. Well, so he comes out to me, and I was like, oh, dude, I just thought you were, like, bad at talking to women. But then immediately, I'm like, oh, you're gay. Huh.

And you've been hanging out with Troy Walker all the time. who's also had his lumps with the ladies. So that I just was like, oh, wait. Does that mean Troy Walker's gay too? Like, it was this whole. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, guys, that was some fun Etsy.

That got you going. Yeah, then I started telling everyone. I was like, well, I can't tell anyone Rob's gay, because I promise, but I can say that Troy's gay. No, I never. I never did that. I like gay guys. Keep it up, boys. Beckard, your vibrating egg just go into your butt?

Yeah, they're still checking on the shit on the recording. They're listening. No, but they're monitoring it. They wanted to make sure that I was in there twice. Monitoring the situation. Oh, I had a funny encounter in Trinidad. It was dumb, but it was funny. I forgot to mention it yesterday when we tried to get going.

So I live on a dead end street, you know, so sometimes people will mistakenly come this way and realize they can't get through. Thinking it's a great place to commit suicide alone. Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes people just want to die in the shadow of the God, the God that forsake them. The shadow of the cross on their body. Sometimes makes the chalk out. Sometimes they want to eat lunch while looking at a cross. Right. And so there's also a little alley. Some of them are learning their lowercase letters, too, and they're just checking it off. One in the wild.

There's a little alley that some cars come in and out of as well. And so I dropped Megan off at work and I'm coming home. I turn onto my street. And there's a car pretty much in the middle of the road. Stopped. And I'm like, well, what the hell? And then they, I guess, try to get out of my way by, they turn. as if they're going to go into that alley. So I think, oh, they're going into the alley. And also the road, the street is very fucked up. The middle of the street, there's a giant exposed manhole. It's super uneven. So like I have to kind of go all the way to the right or all the way to the left of the street to clear this, you know, fucked up middle area. So I go to the left and go pretty much right behind this car as I think it's going.

going into the alley, but it stops and I think was going to throw it in reverse to back out and leave. And I shoot right by it as if I can't be bothered to wait. Sure. I've been in a car with you. Yeah. Well, that's what, but I didn't, I wasn't doing it on purpose. I'm not the local guy who's like, figure it out. I just. Locals only. I think that he's going or is a woman. I think she's going into down the alley. So I'm just going behind her. And luckily, you know, she didn't throw it. She wasn't reversed. She wasn't backing up already because she might have hit me.

And so I go into the church parking lot and park. And I see that this woman has come around the corner, you know, around the front of the church in her car to see me, I guess. And I wondered if she was like, what the fuck's your problem? She didn't say anything. She's holding a wet newborn. She's like, this baby needs to be baptized. It doesn't have long. I just I looked like a psycho for sure.

And I was glad that she didn't yell anything because I, I had no, I had no justification. I have to shit. I'm shitting. I'm currently shitting my pants. I live in here and shit in the church. And God, it would have been so bad if she would have hit me. And then we're like out there just fucking exchanging insurance. Yeah.

So yeah, that's the big news out of T-town. It was funny. You said something funny happened. me in Trinidad and it's like, well, yes, of course. Where else would it have happened? When is the last time you left Trinidad? I haven't seen you in forever. It's very strange.

Yeah, I thought about it the other day. It's been, it's been nice to be home, but I do, I like, I want like a perfect balance. I want to be gone like two weekends a month if it's five to five weekend month. I want to be gone one point five weekends a month. If it's a four weekend, you know, like I wish that it was more predictable. and not all or nothing because this is nothing and then I feel like I'm not

like I haven't done anything with my life ever and then we get on the road and it's like yeah this is doing my thing I really need to fucking be done with these jokes because I'm sick of telling like I don't miss doing the act when I did the show that Becker was at I told the New Orleans shirt joke

to get off stage and that was the only joke I did other than vote Jew no matter who the APEC thing. Because I didn't want, like the town hasn't seen my jokes a bunch, but I'm sick of telling them. So I wanted to be able to riff a little bit. And that went well, but.

Yeah, I ruled. I got to get, I got to figure out how to do another special and then start over. Yeah, I got to get this. So I can feel something again. Well, yeah, we keep talking about it. We should try to figure it out. But we can't, we can't do the same place. So we can't do the same weekend.

I know. And it would be weird if we have the same crew. So we got to figure that out. And it'll be easy enough to try to do something different. Or, bro, I don't know. We could do the same place if we did like a split. Like if it was like a half hour a line and a half hour of me. No, no.

I need I need to do 45. I got to get rid of all of this stuff. It needs the term. But yeah. Well, they need the people need. me to do 45 they need more of me they saw soups on they're like yeah that was a nice appetizer there was literally soup now we need salad and an entree right what's what's the special going to be called like roast beef rock soft I like rocks soft yeah I don't know I haven't I haven't uh that's not for sure

becker anything going on on your end two haircuts no just one I only got one haircut and then And not really. Just getting ready to go to L.A. I'm leaving after we're done recording to go to Denver because I need to be at the airport at 5 in the morning. Frank Miller did the Ninja Turtles recently. That probably excited you. Yeah, Frank, what did he do a cover though, right? Yeah, it's the first time he's ever drawn the turtles.

Yeah, but yeah, it was a cover. I wanted it to be more. Frank Miller's getting weird in his old age. Why are you going out there? I can't remember. I tried to connect with you. And this is what I get. Car museums.

I'm going to the Peterson and the Nethercutt and the NHRA. And then we're going to go see Nick Kroll and friends tomorrow night. Oh. What is he doing? Perpeturing the genocide? His family is the one. Isn't it Kroll Industries that make all the bombs they're dropping on the kids over there? No, they do like...

Look it up. Look up what old Kroll's been up to. I have. That's why I have an answer for this. They do like accounting forensics for those people. They work for those people, but they're not making anything. Okay. So the blood's on their hands.

Making money. Yeah. It's on their wallet. Their job is to like find missing money for those people. So they can buy more river poisoning agents. Yeah. Make sure there's no leak in the like cobalt mines in Congo financially. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, hey. No one's asked to be born into what family they're born into. That's what I always say. Yeah. And it should be good. Shows with the Largo always fucking rule. Yeah.

I haven't been. I would give anything to watch the two of you do. We've been doing stand-up for 40 years combined, and neither of us have been there. We're not big L.A. guys. We're so out, yeah. Hey, Lund. It probably doesn't apply to you. But did tax season stress you out?

No, it doesn't. Really? That's awesome. No, it's easy, breezy. I just throw the, I just throw, I get the letter in the mail and I throw it away. Well, I had helicopters circling my house for 12 days. They were calling it Detroit's own Ruby Ridge standoff. And you know what would have helped me out to deal with that?

It would have been Rocket Money. Rocket Money is the best way to manage your money year round. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money helps you set financial goals and stay on budget by giving you personalized insights on your spending. See all your subscriptions in one place and cancel with just a few clicks. Becker, you're a man of subscriptions. You enjoy content.

Oh, yeah. And without mentioning any specific subscriptions or brands, how would Rocket Money have been useful to you? It did help me. It figured, well, it messed me up. I was paying double subscriptions because I was covering one of my parents as a gift. gift and then when I signed up and used to it. The Dog the Bounty Hunter Channel. It showed me that I was paying for two of them and I was like, God damn it, you dumb stoner.

You signed up for one and then forgot. That must have been like seven years ago. So you've just been paying all this money. And I canceled it. But then I got a call from my mom who was like, hey, nothing's working. Hey, the Spice Channel's gone. We want to watch the rest of our crime drama that we like and it won't open. And then I was a dick and I was like, did you follow the note I wrote you about how to sign

into apps and she was like no i ate it nothing's working and then i looked and was like oh that's right that was a gift but i thought it was a sheet of blotter it caught it right away i mean that that's one of the many ways they can help i would have loved if uh if i used their service and so or anyone would have just said hey you have to give uh 40 percent of all this money you've made back to the government and i would have been oh really well hell maybe we won't do wide world new zealand for two weeks. Okay, that's, at least at least that paid off when everyone loves it. Rocket Money's dashboard makes it simple to manage checking, savings, loan, and investment accounts with a clear view of your finances on one screen. Verbatim. I always say that when I mean it. Let Rocket

Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at RocketMoney.com slash chubby. That's rocketmoney.com slash chubby. Rocketmoney.com slash chubby. Rocketmoney.com slash chubby. hell i'm trapped in the loop again everyone's like i don't doing netflix is a joke and i i you know i say my classic line like men have to work they don't go to parties but it's like what am i gonna do go compete with everyone in stand up for you know ticket sales on on may 7th on a wednesday and netflix is a joke is a fucking wild mess anyway some yeah three weeks long and fucking covers the entire city and it's not like it's not like it's not like at most common festivals where you can just like walk three blocks and that's where all the shows are it doesn't it just

seems like a hassle it's definitely it's like a festival for industry people it's weird and i'll tell you what me turning it down for the last three years or whatever has definitely been a better move because now it's like i've i've choked l.a so long that when i finally make a play out there we can probably do a cool spot. Hell yeah. Dinis also really cool. Dude, dude, I am stoked for you, Becker. Who are you hanging with? My buddy Matt is going with me to do the big car thing. We got a special invitation to go to the vault at the Peterson Museum where they keep all the cars that aren't on display. Dude, you know what I could get you into, too, Becker? You follow that page Outlaw Archive on Instagram? I don't think so. This dude's like on the four.

forefront of chronicling and gathering up the ephemera of motorcycle gangs, outlaw motorcycle gangs. So he has like, you know, sunny bargers chopper and like, uh, you know, he has like all of the artifacts and he's always begging me because he's a kill Tony fan for sure. And he's like, come, come see it. So maybe I get you in there. Fuck. Yeah, dude. I'll hit you up about this.

This guy's shit looks dope. It's really cool. And I think that he's a, uh, a dangerous problematic outlaw type. himself so everybody's fun to hang out with. Fuck, yeah. Becker, here's a question for you. Human trafficker. Yeah.

What? Okay. You know me. Uh-huh. You know my interest level in cars and my interest level in maintaining those cars. Uh-huh. And giving a shit about a car if it's old and decrepit. What do you think the likelihood of me enjoying the ownership of a 1980 Buoy-U.

Electra would be. Oh, is it a two-door or a four-door? I would like a two-door, I think. I got to double check if 80 was already front-wheel drive. I don't know if they switched in 77 or 84. Living here in Motown, I've been seeing the same Jet Black Buick Electra, like when I'm out and about. And it looks sick, dude.

It looks so cool. Oh, dude, no, that's still a good year. That's still when it was the Malibu classic. That's a fucking car, man. That's a real deal fucking car. Frame on. Well, then follow-up question. I figured out what I want for my birthday, you guys.

I'd like you guys to buy me a 1980 Buick electric. I'll keep an eye out. They're not going for a ton of money anymore. But Buick just announced a new sports car. So the interest is going to go up quite a bit. in bea in these old ones are yeah buick's already like the biggest american company in the world because they sell in china and japan asia like the main continent they sell cars like fuck if you want to get laid you want to be seen in a buick which is hilarious to me well the the the buick electric that's in

china looks like a goddamn battle bot like yeah they they they sold the name or whatever over there and it's they it's like a ladybug with wheels there was a weird window where china was so desperate to get mobilized at like the beginning of their crazy fast industrial revolution like 20 years ago that they told manufacturers like, hey, if you come set up a factory here, we'll let you operate it, and we'll never get involved. And no one believed them. And GM was so fucking desperate for cash that they built a Buick plant there. Because they were like, worst case scenario, the Chinese take Buick and we can just kill it.

Who cares? Well, this is on me, folks. I do apologize. I rolled down the window on this conversation. They were so successful. Now the crank fell off. China turned the program off. So they leave Beulet alone.

A lot of people are turning this program off right now. Yeah. They're the only independent car manufacturer in China. Now, you said there was a weird window. And when I was a little boy before speech classes, that's how I pronounced the film Rear Window. So I understand. Wheel Window.

Weo window. Sammy, come on in and say your favorite movie, baby. We're also going to a bunch of nice restaurants And we're also going to Universal Studios one night for Fan Fest And we're going to eat like 4,000 milligrams a piece And solve a mystery with Scooby-Doo Yeah, you're doing a psychedelic make-a-wish I understand vacation

Yeah, psychedelic attescent It's going to be nuts Nice, you can use that Yeah That's cool I'm happy for you and your friend Matt Yeah I haven't been to L.A. in a long time

I'm going out there for Boris Bachel party in June nice yeah mm fuck yeah well I'm going to Longmont on Saturday yeah potion castle you're gonna make prank calls what the hell is that you don't know about Longmont Potient Castle no he's a dude who me and Clay were pretty sure was this dude who was in a one-man base project called Spellcaster and he would show up to like lost lounge and open for us and it would just be like eight I get like a huge base cabinet and he would just do like rhythms kind of like sun but i'm not i'm not i'm not can't confirm that but that was our hypothesis he made prank phone calls uh and his project was called

longmont potion castle and he's like one of the most famous like prank phone call guys but he would also so he wouldn't just like call and say funny stuff he would call and then use like proto early voice modulation stuff and like loops and like he would have like strange sound and stuff. So it was like getting called by like, by a nightmare. Exactly. Exactly. But yeah, you're going on to bono. That makes me think Harrison's brother was a big,

weird experimental musician. What was he, Mr. Pac-Man? Mr. Pac-Man, yeah. That shit was cool. Megan said she and her cousin used to see him at Monkey Mania. Oh, yeah. And that he was, oh, I think, I think Harrison, I think when Megan met Harrison,

and she somehow figured that out. Or when they figured it out, she showed that she was, she was much more excited to hear about Harrison's brother than anything we were doing with Mile High sci-fi. Yeah, yeah. One time at Barbard, Mr. Pac-Ban, Mr. Pac-Ban got on a pool table and had his friend put a pool cue in his butt. Whoa. Like during a show. That was sad.

It's music. Yeah. He didn't give a fuck. No, it was nuts. Huh. Yeah, Mr. Pac-Ban. name. She was going to Monkey Mania?

I think she said, yeah. She and her cousin partied when they were like 15. They were getting in wherever they wanted because they looked older and they would get all dolled up and smoke cigs and fucking talk shit and get in to wherever. God, I hope I didn't bang your wife at Monkey Mania in like 2006. You were nine or whatever. Not in 2006. That was nine inches.

She was older. So she was probably not going there anymore. She probably would have loved to abed the young Turk then. I don't think she wanted Sasquatch. She didn't want Hulk Hogan. They don't know what they want until they got it. I think she probably wanted sad gaunt boys. Oh, for sure.

Yeah, yeah. A bunch of Andrew Polks. Getting poked by Polk. Monkey Mania was cool. it was the one in the warehouse next to Jesus saves and it was like there was a band called clinging to the trees of a forest fire who operated out of there and they were heavy duty brutal doom

Denver used to be and I'm sure it is still cool but I just don't know where the young people are throwing their heavy rock and roll shows they got priced out and it's all it's all fucking work from home douchebags who want to go to a theme bar and it's not all that because there's still a bunch of people that are still there making it work. But it was easy for us to live there when we were figuring our shit out.

And now, I don't know how. Yeah, when it was just Omaha. When you didn't have to spend a bunch of money to live so you could have any job and then make time for your passion. Yeah. Now it's a bunch of people who either already have money or they have a good job so they're not fully committed to developing what they're trying to develop. Now they're starting like pedal slash axe throwing bars. Yeah. Maybe they figure it out.

but it's got to be harder, yeah, to be out all the time and focused when rent is so expensive and you don't have a lot of options so you can't improve, you know, you can't find a better place so you cling to the shithole that you're in. Yeah. And it all seems like it would be a lot more stressful to be a young comic. And there's less cool spaces because the rent went up for them and a lot of the venue. They can't risk it on anything. There's no warehouse that's leftover.

You can't. Right. you can't get into a cool venue to play and then graduate to the better venue. Yeah, because they're all live nation. That place that went in. That all sucks. What the fuck was that hippie joint? John Do's Mudhut?

Electric Leroy's? No. The Crimson Saint? Not the weather vein. It was something cafe. They closed. The main vein. Mercury.

Mercury. Mercury. Mercury closed. The people that took over have already gone under in like three and a half months, four months. Where are dirt bags going to do Kickstarter weddings? I mean... Yeah, like they're not competing with other hippie dirtbags. You'd think they'd have enough of a niche to stay afloat.

Yeah, where are they going to hold all the rim job funerals as the brewery cafes closed? Hey, you better thank Kurt for that hat. He's pissed. Oh, well, how about this? I may or may not be on a kill Tony coming out on Monday. Let's see what hat I'm wearing. Oh, good.

Yeah, I told him maybe... Well, he's not... Yeah, and then it's always great to be associated with killed Tony. For a gift you receive. Well, you say thank you. You didn't say thank you. That's not how cowboys. You left him on red.

How cowboys do it. He said it's sent and then you. I blocked it. You defriended him, yeah. Unfriended. I couldn't come up with it. That's all right. That's good.

Yeah, he wants a low respect. He wants a thank you. Don't move to Trinidad. Send him a half. Thank you. Send him a hat that says thank you on it. I'm going to send him a hat that says Lund. He's got a hat or two that says Lund and he doesn't wear him, probably because they're too big for his little head. I'm going to text him right now.

That's not what I was saying. Hey, Lund says you're really butt-heard about a lack of him. No, no. I don't want to get caught in between. Hey, buddy, really sorry. one says you've been crying for weeks because I didn't suck your dick for the free hat made of corduroy no I'm gonna send it to him right now I said hey buddy got that hat where thank you very much I'm loving it period nothing like corduroy on a crisp Michigan day well yeah you don't have much time before that turns into a death sentence

corduroy hat in Michigan summer it's not gonna end well for you well I'll tell you what the The problem's going to be for y'all is when you see me in my new linen pants where you can see every vein on that thing of mine. What? Oh, yeah. I've been flopping it around in linen. It's crazy. I look like Kevin Neeland. It's nuts.

He was always out? Kevin Neeland's got a piece, bro. Yeah, and he'd wear thin pants. Yeah, like hippie pants. Yeah. What on weeds? On weeds on S&L. Like, I've heard somebody call it.

him out about it on a podcast once and he was just like, yeah, I know what I was doing. It's by penis, Conan. He's trying to like wrestle John Levitts on AEW or something. God. I've seen him tweet about trying to, whoa, somebody's at the door. That was the police. They took you away.

They don't know. Nobody knows what I do down here. Creech does. And the dogs who are trying to figure out how to take their own lives. she's not around she over there what are you looking at no i was acting like i was looking at her okay i'm getting robbed two guys walked behind me with a couch yeah put that anywhere the door slams mama's helping them carry the couch out she's having a seizure on the couch bini smoking crystal meth sucking off the robbers for more meth it's getting bleak

down yeah well guys when am i when am i gonna see you shit my birthday is of course may second so uh i'll be in long mont yeah doing the gypsy cabaret yeah that's probably yeah we'll see if i get paid today this will probably come out on your birthday really yeah i don't have any time to edit between now and saturday morning wow okay all right well he's going to l a stupid yeah what if becker gets like a holding deal somebody's going to tell him to hold this and then the cops are going to show up and bust him becker becker comes back with like a Netflix special they gave me a huge budget and i want you guys to like help me write it

i'll give you guys 50 bucks a joke yeah that's gonna get outside man i got i planted a bunch of lilac yesterday and i got to go finish the job before i leave for a week is it nice there it's fucking cold here today yeah It's really nice, man. It rained like through the night, so the ground's all soft. I planted a bunch of shit the last two days. Nice. Yeah.

I'm hoping we get any moisture. There's been so many cloudy days when nothing falls. And today and tomorrow, it would be really nice if we got any rain, snow. I don't give a shit. Just give us something so that the summer isn't just, I mean, it's already fires everywhere. everywhere so we really can't shut up i had that with the winter here but now it's like this is the reason you live here is these next four to five months yeah all right well i guess uh that's the beanie alarm you got to get over there thank you guys we love you it's quick time