Chubby Behemoth - Pain Below

Episode Date: September 13, 2022

Chris Charpentier. Rob Gleeson. Steven Agyei. Bacco. Live at High Plains Comedy Fest '22   Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   Extra episodes at https://www.patreon.com/chubbybehemoth

Hey everybody! Welcome to Chubby Behemoth with sand talent, Nathan Lund! Let's ripple, everyone. Let's ripple. On horn. It's viral. On horn. Inspiring. Great stuff. Hey, thank you all so much for being here. I'm Sam Talent, of course.

I'm also Sam Talent. We're one person now. We are. And before we get into it, we want to thank our sponsor, 7-Strong.com. 7 Strong brand, the strongest brand there is. I dare you to rip this shirt off my body. You can't. No. Not just for fat guys anymore. 7-strong.com 7 Strong brand, the strongest brand there is. I dare you to rip this shirt off my body. You can't.

No. Not just for fat guys anymore. Allegedly. 7-Strong offers sizes from large to 4XL for the ample-bodied man or woman in your life. This is two 4XL shirts sewn together. They're stapled together in the back. So the website, of course, the number 7-strong.com

Great SEO on their part. We've never seen a dime from them, but we're wearing their shirts because they fit somehow. Free shirts. We're wearing them Patrick Richardson style which is where you tuck it in with no belt, and you button the top button,

and you sweat a bunch. And both of our pants, of course, no boundaries from Walmart. Women's maternity pants. You don't have to be a pregnant person to wear them, but it would probably help if you were. How are your thighs? Slightly chafed.

Thank you, No Boundaries. That's Becker over there. Give it up for Becker. Hi, everybody. You guys listen to the podcast? Well, this is proof Becker is not an African-American. Same voice. He's been, I don't want to say accused

of that. That sounds wrong, but a lot of people have suggested people thought I was Steve. Who? People on Reddit thought I was Steve on the post for the show. Steve AJ? You mean notorious hot piece of ass

Steve AJ? You mean the show. Steve AJ? Yeah. You mean notorious hot piece of ass Steve AJ? Yeah. You mean the blackest man alive? They thought you slipped up and accidentally exposed the real me.

No! What? That's a real theory on Reddit. How dumb are our fans? Don't call it a theory on Reddit. It's a theory.

No, it's not. We have a bunch of snacks over here for Becker provided by Noma, I'm assuming. Noma and Chad. Noma and Chad, thank you for the snacks.

Becker will be eating those without chewing. What are they? I got sour, soda, strawberry, slime liquor. I'm not a big reader.

It's slime. Sam, don't touch the slime. It's soda, not slime. I got gummy turtles. Oh, wow. You know how much I love turtles and gummy pizza. It looks real dope. Yeah, you're gonna get sick. It's gonna be great.

That's half the fun of the pod, is how much poison can Becker take in, whether it's fentanyl or gummies. He's got a problem. Does anybody have fentanyl? Somebody teased me earlier and now I'm all excited. No one teased you. I was talking about testing cocaine, and your eyes lit up.

You said fentanyl. Yeah, I did. I was there testing for fentanyl, and you thought someone had a big bag of fentanyl. I was hoping patches. Yes, yes you were. Patches. Hey! But before we get going, Nathan, I got a surprise for you.

What's that? Me and Ripple have been working on this for a bit. Hit it, Ripple. That was Send the Pain Below by Shazam. I was trying to think of what the hell it was supposed to be. We blew all the Patreon money on getting Ripple the sheet music for that. Ripple, can you just play the part that's just like suffocating one more time?

You can see the video now. Yep. You had a guy across the hall from you blasting Chevelle out of his hotel room. Yes, I did. First thing, when I checked in on Thursday, me and Carlos were staying together. Lowest dog up there in the crow's nest.

Let's hear it for him. We're in room 1529 at the Hyatt Place. And the guy across the hall checked in with his three children and immediately started blasting Chevelle. And I thought, this is the weekend for magic. Was it the hits

or was he doing whole albums? If it wasn't the hits, I wouldn't have known it was Chevelle. I'm curious, did he take the kids and he's on the run? I don't know. Did he play Send the Pain he's on the run? I don't know. Did he play Send the Pain Below

and drown those kids? It did sound like a bathtub was brimming. You know all the deep cuts for Chevelle. I listen to Chevelle. You're not a guy. I've seen him at least two times, three times.

You can't remember how many times you've seen Chabelle. He used to drink a lot. Yeah, I've known him forever. I still keep learning more. We're going to bring out our first guest, everyone. This was an unannounced guest, but he's coming over. Where'd the turtles go, Becker? They're so good.

Jesus. You crushed that whole bag already? Yeah, I'm going to save the bag so I can find more. This is, this is Sharpentier, by the way. All right, everybody. It's me, Crush Sharpent here, the podcast man of America. Suck it. Ripple was so eager to get back on stage, he didn't wait for your intro at all.

That's okay. That's all right. Good stuff, Ripple. It was a good intro. Yeah, those braids have cut off a lot of air from his brain. I know. Sharpie, we're overjoyed that you could make it. Get out of here I'm happy I'm here

I'm wearing my mom's sweatshirt Because I didn't pack right And it keeps riding up Your mom has a big city drug sweatshirt? No, no, no That's your t-shirt and then sweatshirt Oh, nice Yeah, I can tell it's your mom

Because there's a lot of tit room You have four layers Sharpie's mom's got it I should have gotten real fat like us. You have been bulking. I'm trying as hard as I can. How's that going?

Good. Seems well. Yeah, I'm eating a ton. Eating a ton, getting fat, hurting all the time. Having a hard time putting on socks and stuff. Hey, man. Starting to breathe heavy all the time. It's pretty fun.

You're singing my song. Yeah. Welcome to the choir. Heartburn in the morning. Oh, yeah. Heartburn in the evening. Heartburn at suppertime. When pizza's on a bagel, you've got four years to live.

Remember that hot jingle? Is this my water? No. Sure. Hell yeah. Yeah. I thought we were going to neg him. Oh, I figured he could have one, but not both.

Okay. I'm having a Coca-Cola because I was drinking until 4 a.m. last night. Oh, yeah. And I reek. It's coming out of me. Oh, my God. What were you drinking? Huh?

Brews? Whatever I get my hands on. Yeah. Yep. I had horchata with rum in it. Fentanyl patch? Ooh. Which bar is that at?

Badgers. Yeah. It's fun to watch Becker perform. It's hard to be funny in E! I've done it. I'm trying to get rid of all of this so I can be done with it. And it's really good. Usually we talk into the mic, Becker.

That looks gross as fuck. That's really good. That's gross. When he opened the box, it was steaming, and I don't know why. Gummies are not supposed to be out of the oven. What Tokyo vending machine did you get that out of? And did it come with used pay-ins? Go check the calories.

Is it all or anything? It's very funky. It says pizza. There's nothing pizza related. There's a fried egg on top. Yeah, there's a fried egg on top. Yeah, but it looks like there's pizza slices hiding. The crust is bananas.

Did you have your hopes up that it was going to be savory gummies? No, but I thought it would be like those gummy burgers where it looked like pizza bits inside. You were duped by gummies? I was duped. I got duped. I think I'll get you back on some opiate so your brain starts working again.

I agree. Legalize it. Yeah, where's that parade? Rob! We had all these needle exchanges. Give me something to put in there. Maybe it's a hot syringe and a hotter bath. Oh. I'm already getting gummed up.

Are you going to talk or eat the gummies? You're going to choke. Yeah, you're already choking, but in a showbiz way. Sharpie, now you, uh, I just heard you got engaged. I'm fully engorged. Yes! Sharpie's engaged, everyone.

Off the market. Thank you. That's right, it happened. Took the big leap. Which of course means, who's gonna save Bobby? He's the last one in the fine gentleman's club. He's incredibly alone. Confirmed bachelor.

He can't get laid in Portland. No. He can't get laid as a motorcycle lawyer. But here we are, just drowning in poo. Sharpie, I've met your betrothed. Is she my betrothed before we get... before we wed? Yeah.

Yeah, I do. What's the word mean? Betrothed means to be married to. Is that right? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Anybody? That's what I thought.

We're in a fucking... We're in a bookstore. Somebody find a dictionary. Yeah. We can wait. I bet we don't have it. No. Did you say they're right behind us?

That's funny. Carlos. Oh. All right. Or just use your goddamn phone. Why are we looking for a book? Yeah, we won the war. Look at your phone.

Yeah, we never have to read again. She's over there, by the way. You want to put your hand in the air? That's her. That's the one marrying our sweet little prince. Even smaller than Sharpie. We didn't think it would happen. If you're out there and you want to come in, come on in.

Come on in. Quit lurking. Yeah, there's some empty seats up front. Yeah, believe it or not. You got to sit next to Mike Kane. Yeah, Bobby. Come on in. Bring your pompadour-shaped skull.

You feed me gummies with edibles in them. Very good, Becker. Nice job, buddy. Wow. You're earning your check this week, huh? Oh, I'm so sweaty. I walked in here today, and this was very embarrassing. Becker, you were with me for this, and thank God Lund wasn't. Oh, yeah. Me and Ripple and. I walked in here today, and this was very embarrassing. Becker, you were with me for this.

Thank God Lund wasn't. Oh, yeah. Me and Ripple and Becker walked in. I don't know if you guys are familiar with the worldwide comedic sensation David Borey. You guys know this? You know about him? Borey, the best man at my wedding. I've known him since I was 14.

That's 21 years of friendship. I walked in, and there was a you know, a handsome man reading comic books over there, and I said, Boree! And the man looked up. No, just another portly black film. That's how I

started my festival today. Was by you know racism. Blowing it. Blowing it. Yeah, I mean I call it learning. I call it getting better. You know?

I don't know. No one's going to defend me but myself. That's a good spin. Positive spin. I also thought it was boring before you said something. Why did you laugh so hard after I said it? It was when he turned and I saw the beard and how your gait changed and you just kept walking. Oh, yeah. I was walking up to the high five.

Boree. Not Boree. Pardon that. My God, what have I done? Yeah. I thought maybe I didn't see where Boree actually was the way you just continued on for a split second before you were like, oh, Becker. Yeah.

I didn't go, oh, Becker. What a naughty cat I am. Ooh, I made a whoopsie, Becky. Ooh, did you see me be racist? Ooh. That was fun. I wasn't racist. I was excited.

Puts drills and holes in the paddle. I've been bad. I don't want the wind to catch it. Take me. Yeah, so if that guy's here, I'm sorry. All right? What about Lori?

Are you going to apologize to him? He doesn't know. He'll never find out. Correct? All right. We got a drug transaction going on in the front. All right. Nice.

Cool key, fellas. It's not cocaine. I'm kidding. It's not fentanyl either, Becker. Keep it in your pants. Yeah, it's rock hard, which doesn't make sense. He's fucking pingo. If you guys are doing cocaine in here, that's cool, but please share it with Kyle Pogue, alright?

Pogue, stand up, show him what you look like. That guy, he's looking... He looks like he... Pogue looks like he was conceived in a haunted hot rod. The dagula itself. Inside of a stand-up bass case. Kyle Pogue, everybody.

He's great. That's really all we got so far. What was... I hate to call back to this but what exactly was the reason of pointing out my fiance to everybody oh I just wanted everyone to know she's taken

don't even think about it Gleason you're married remember yeah come on it keeps falling off during the festival and I keep finding it for Rob

oh where's my ring I left it in that sailor Yeah, it keeps falling off during the festival. Yeah. And I keep finding it for Rob. Oh, where's my ring? I left it in that sailor. He's laughing like he's seen people do. Rob. Rob Gleason will be up here in a bit, as will Steve and AJ. It was just a great time.

Chris, I know you're busy today. Yeah, man, I have another thing to do. Yeah, you have to go pollinate a bunch of flowers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a little bumblebee of a man. That was the joke. I'm tiny. I'm a tiny little tank. Yeah.

Well, I appreciate you having me on and not really talking to me about anything. No, no, no. Okay, great. Sorry. I have a question for you. Oh, yeah, hit me. Who's going to be your best man? ooooh so

nobody in this room it's not Corey Healy? well it's kind of between Corey Healy my brothers I have a couple family members Ditchit and Dangle

the Sharpeteer Bros Uchi and Muchi Yeah, I have a couple family members. Dipshit and Dangle. The Sharpeteer Bros. Moochie and Moochie. They put a lot of pressure on because I was the best man at both of their weddings. What am I supposed to do? Not return the favor? Well, I don't know. Maybe honor the covenant you signed with us? That's true. Blood is thicker than blood.

You know how many times I've clipped you onto your belly after too much of that speed powder? Just as many times. That's you. That's what you look like. That was me. Yeah. I've turned a new leaf.

If you guys see Sharpie tonight with his jaw grinding up what you think is walnuts, but there's no nuts in there, he got a good bag of molly. I'm just doing fine. That's what's going on. No, but we did the math. You have two brothers. I have two brothers. You have me and Lund. That's true.

You have Bobby. That's true. You have probably some rehab friend that you text. Yeah, kind of. Will McMillan be in here? No, the guy who jumped off a building and broke everything and then moved in to my parents.

This guy, long story short, long story short, a guy tried to commit suicide and then he lived with my parents and drew all these really sad pictures like I'm going to commit suicide and left them around the house and it freaked my parents out.

I'm jumping out of a plane this time. Yeah, I don't think he's going to be there. Okay. What about Matthew Martella? He'll be there. Yeah, so Martella's for sure involved. Young, hot, short. Mark Lee is in the running. Mark Lee? Yeah, man. He left America. No. He lives in Colorado.

Oh. I thought he went to Hawaii. That's part of America. Well done. Alright. Ren, how many bridesmaids are you gonna have? So many. So many? Does that mean six? There's six, there's room for the ones who matter.

Well, she has three sisters. Sick. Are they single? That's right off the bat. You're married. Not this weekend. Me and Rob have been fucking in port-a-potties not anymore no no

not anymore alright Becker are you getting a phone call? my butt does keep vibrating is it? yeah maybe you should answer well

vamp one I got nothing you're not even hungover Who is it, Becker? It's a special surprise Oh, shit Oh, a special surprise How intriguing

That's gross Okay Well, Chris We've loved having you I liked being here Thank you Anything you want to plug? These people are

Rabidest consumers of content Well, yeah I have a couple things to plug. If you guys want to leave right now and go to the podcast, I'm going to do that. What the hell? You asked? Okay, fine.

No, I'm doing Nick Toon and Friends at 7pm. If you guys would like to come to that and see me do some stand-up comedy, where I'll talk about being engorged, fully engorged, my beautiful fiance, and other very stupid things. Are you going to do Adam's podcast right now? Yeah.

It's crazy how he booked himself in the cool venue. Well, he does run the festival. Yes, he does. But he doesn't run this city. You run it from four columns? I need to be hosed off. You do smell gross. I reek.

And his shirt is made of old trash bags. And it's just bacon in the goods. That's a good sponsorship tag. Yes, it is. Okay, I really do have to go, though. You guys have been wonderful. Thank you for having me. Thank you for having me.

I'm planned. I really like sitting and hanging out with my friends. Thank you. Thank you. Great job last night. Thanks. Could have used more fake blood, I think, but hey, you were wearing a nice shirt. I was nervous.

He was nervous. It was mint-flavored, was it not? I think we should take a minute. We should take a minute now. Mint-flavored blood. Oh, yeah, that's good was it not? I think we should take a minute. Mint-flavored wood. Oh, yeah, that's good. All right, have fun with your real friends. Thank you. Have fun sucking out his dick.

Yeah. Have fun with Orbital turning his good ear towards you so he can hear you. Because he's 150 years old. Unless you do a lot of metal. Yeah. But not the good stuff. Not Chevelle. No.

I think we should take a moment and mention our new sponsor. Oh, yeah, yeah. Rick DeSimone's Bullshit Hot Sauce. Brand new sponsor. You ever think to yourself, man, it's really hard to find a two-ounce bottle of hot sauce

for 12 bucks. Well, worry no more because we've got no, his is really good. You know, a lot of it is complete garbage out there. It's just some guy who's desperately clinging on to something. Ripple what?

Whoa. What? Oh, where's the bell? Oh no! Oh no! What the hell? Baco, what the hell, Baco? Baco, what? It's Baco, bitch! What?

What happened? What the fuck? No! Shoot in the sky! Baco, stop bringing the snow! Baco, stop bringing the snow! Baco, stop bringing the snow! Baco, stop bringing the snow!

Baco, stop bringing the snow! Baco, stop bringing the snow! Baco, stop bringing the snow! Baco, stop bringing the snow! Baco, stop bringing the snow! Baco, stop bringing the snow! Baco, stop bringing the snow! Baco, stop bringing the snow! Baco, stop bringing the snow! Baco, kids! What? What happened? Baco, no! Baco, stop bringing the snow!

These are your friends, Baco! Note the orange tips. Anybody with a history of experiencing gun violence. These are fake guns. Oh good, you put it down. So he can grab have another one. Grab his third one. Bucko!

From what realm have you come? We dreamed him into reality. I can't believe this! Well, surely though, I mean this is... No, Bucko! He's this is... No, Baco! He's your friend. He's your...

What the... Wait, what? Baco? Baco? What? You guys, Baco made it. Baco! Baco!

Baco, it's okay! I know you want the gutters to run red with the blood of the innocent, but... Baco, is this... gutters to run red with the blood of the innocent, but... God, who's this man? Oh, God, he's here! Brocco, that's Carlos! He's one of the good ones! Yeah, what's that? He threatened all the white people, and then actually pulled the trigger

on Mexican-American Carlos Madrid. I don't know if that's a good one. I was like, hey, Paco, no. Okay. But if you're here, Becker, that means... Who's this motherfucker? We really did it. Paco's real.

The actual Paco. Paco, stop. Stop brandishing your weapon. The actual Baco. Baco! Stop! Stop brandishing your weapon. That's not a funny joke to do in 2022. Most of these people lost someone in a skating rink firing or you know,

synagogue shooting. Maybe not our demo, but you know. No, he's cool. He's so angry, but I don't know what we expect from Bako god of hell the fifth ninja turtle they kicked him out

of the comic books he doesn't get any royalties but he was with those guys he got oh wow I didn't know you knew tricks. Behind the shell. Oh, no.

Hey, he did it. Paco's real. Paco says, remember, kids, smoke filtered cigarettes. Paco says, remember kids, smoke filtered cigarettes so you can live longer through this walking nightmare of this existence remember kids, holotips are none alright

Paco reigns alright Paco, well, do you have anything you want to plug? to plug us full of holes I wish you didn't shoot at Carlos oh, he's fine he's from Albuquerque Do you have anything you want to plug? To plug us full of holes. Yeah. I wish you didn't shoot at Carlos. Oh, he's fine. He's from Albuquerque. Yeah, he's used to it.

All he knows is gun violence. Well, this is the best $600 we've ever spent. It's a hefty appearance to be true. And he's not talking because that would be $1,000. Yes. hundred dollars we've ever spent. That's the appearance we need to report it. And he's not talking because that would be a thousand dollars. Bako's in it for the money. Bako! What's the recoil on that shotgun?

You can shoot it one handed. He's mutant strength. Oh, you're right. I'm the idiot. He's grown from ooze. Stop trying to pick apart Baco. Hey, where did I hit Baco? How do you know where I hit him? I'm trying to defend.

Much like you defend the streets. Baco's on our side. I mean, he's going to hopefully kill Hancock before his term is up. Yeah. Whoa. Am I allowed to say that? No, there's already an Antifa flag in here.

They're for sure monitoring us. Oh, yeah, hell yeah. I stand with capital. Phase one begins tonight. Meet Bako down at City Park. No narcs. All right, Bako. Round of applause for Bako, everybody.

I can't believe he's real. I can't believe how much he pointed the guns at the fans of the podcast. I got a little scared. It's not a good joke to do. I saw the orange tits, but I still got a little nervous. We debated for so long about getting a real AR-15 in here and having the firing pin removed so it would be street legal. And I was big on the side of that but luckily i was talked down yeah imagine how cool that would have been though if he clicked that thing at you up

there carlos put you with a fucking red dot right on your forehead that would have been great i know we were also worried that baka would be outside with the gun waiting to come in and the cops would come up and shoot him because he's not technically white. And then, I mean, that would be great for the podcast. That'd be big news for us. Yeah, CNN. Yeah, CNN.

O-A-N. Opie and Anthony. Oh, boy. Well, Baco lives and that's great You know who else lives though? Our guests, everyone Let's hear it for them Known them since the very beginning Rob Gleason, Milwaukee's favorite, everyone

From Conan, Rob Gleason And of course Not too much And of course, everyone Steven A.J., everyone Steven A.J., everyone. Stephen A.J. And Ripple, getting involved. Last night at Faded, Stephen,

you were introduced as you've seen him on BoJack Horseman. Yeah, I was... the neighbor. You played a few people. Let's try this. But you were heard on both. Let's start this over.

Hey, Yippo, can you play them off and then back off? Let's try this again. You know, this is why we hate you. Yeah, we really do. I'm with the movement. We're so overjoyed to have the both of you because you represent opposite ends of the spectrum

of comedy and socioeconomic status and marriage status. Yeah. Uh-huh. Damn. Sexuality. Oh, yeah. Because Steve's, like, marriage status. Yeah. Uh-huh. Damn. Sexuality. Oh, yeah. Because Steve's, like,

violently straight. Steve's, like, dangerously straight. Violently? Well, yeah. I wouldn't have chosen violently, but... Violently is...

What is violently straight? I don't... Well, I'm just saying, like, you would fight for your rights to fuck only chicks. You beat the pussy up. I do like to knock some dust out of the corners

if I can. Dust to be knocked? I'm here for it. And Gleason, of course, you're like Blade. You walk in both worlds. The Upside Down as well. You painted Demogorgon. What happened to that beat?

Upside Down. From Nope? Stranger Things. I don't know. Weren't you on Stranger Things? You played the Porcupine? Yeah, that's right

Well, thank you for having us I don't know if it was a good decision so far I don't know about that Steve and I are probably the Top of Your range of guests? Oh, yeah. I think we're the top. And a turtle.

And a fucking short person. Whole fest full of people. Couldn't have chosen anybody. You gave a lot of time to the short person. You gave them a lot of time. We did, yeah. We have you guys for the next three and a half hours.

That sounds great. They want that. Oh, yeah. They signed a contract. They can't leave. Perfect. There's a turtle with a shotgun out there. Yes, there is.

Yeah, he's outside. He's on the prowl. Did he pull the gun on you, Steve? Yeah, real hard and critical, that guy. Can I tell you something? Steve and I were standing out there, and we saw this portly black guy, and I was like, Steve, that's probably the guy

that Sam thought was Dave Ward. Yes. No, I swear to God, there's a guy out there. Steve, am I insane? No, you look a lot like him. You're not insane. Thank you. You are.

You've known him your whole life. What are you talking about? Don't let him off the hook I saw him and I was like Oh god what happened I don't know I figured you said something and regretted it Or fell or your ass crack came out Of your tucked in shirt

It's impossible it's 7-strong grand That's their guarantee Hey bad guy Your butt crack will never be seen again Thanks to our shirts 7-strong grand. That's their guarantee. Hey, bad guy. Your butt crack will never be seen again. Thanks to our shirts. Yeah, I mean... You looked a lot like from behind. Well, I should have known because he was looking at comic books.

Or he doesn't play that. No. I thought he was trying to diversify. Spread his wings. I think he leans in his lane. Yo, he leans. You see the shoes? What? Someone save me.

What does that mean, he leans in his lane? Yeah, he knows what he does. He stays in his lane. He leans into it. This would be a great podcast. Steve explaining slang to Rob. That'd be very good. So beat the pussy up.

Here's an actual word. It means buy the. And when you say get the dust off, what do you mean? You know, you're really reaching in there. And on your tippy toes, slow stroking. You know what I mean?

You're done. He talked about the corners of a vagina, which made me think about Stephen's dick standing in the corner of a room like the end of the Blair Witch Project? Or like his dick's in time out and he has to look at the wall. His dick's a Roomba. Yes.

Every corner will be clean. Have you found a vagina that has like a square rhombus inside of it? Oh man, I see a pussy that goes around the corner. Where the fudge is made? No, not that corner. The other corner. Yes. I could write this whole weekend off after that.

Yeah. Thank you for setting me up for that scene. I know you're drinking a Coke, too. Why? You're hoping somebody will play a joke. No. Oh, too. Why? You're hoping somebody will play a joke. No. Oh, one. Your other favorite childhood joke.

No. So, Rob, were any of you guys outside last night? At the after party right here? Yeah, of course. Were you out there when that kid Seth from Albuquerque was asking everyone to go shoot his guns off in the alley? I missed that. Oh, yeah. Hold on, let me guess. Kevin was there.

It was not an African American. No. I know it probably must not have been a Latino. I don't know. What is the word? What are we? Hispanic? I was going to say Latino, Hispanic, what is the one that's safe? This is the one you're worried about?

After all the insane inflammatory shit you DM'd me at 4.30 in the morning? Knowing the proper nomenclature for the Hispanic population of America? Hey, that's what I care about. I don't get to talk about the other shit. I say

Miss Carnals. La gente. Carlos says, Chicano, right? Chicano's better than Latino or Hispanic. Yeah. Hispanic is if you are an Italian explorer looking for spices. You go with Hispanic. Latino is if you're

running for mayor or city council. And then mestizo is what I say, because no one knows what it means. Do you? Yeah, I think it means half Indian, half Mexican. Wait, you think it means that? Is mestizo a real word?

Carlos? Thank you, Carlos. Thank God Vaca didn't shoot you. It sounds like something you... It's a style at Outback Steakhouse. Let me take that mestizo style. Yeah. It's crusted at Outback Steakhouse. Let me take that Mestizo style. Yeah. Sounds like crusty rub. It's crusted in used bullets.

Yeah. Besserelle, are we wrong? You're with the movement. You're wrong. Okay. You want to educate us, or... I don't know. You guys are just wrong.

Okay. Oh, we're wrong. Tune into Andreas' podcast to find out how we fucked up. Yeah. Oh, so there was the so he was a Latino gentleman. He was from Albuquerque. He was actually from Juarez, where he came up from Albuquerque. And he was like, you know, he wasn't.

What was he doing? He was dancing. Yeah, he took his big hat off. No, he was talking to me, and I was using my very good Spanish, and we were engaging, and his girlfriend Jade was loving it. Kevin O'Brien was there for this. And then it ended with him being like, I got a bunch of guns in my car. It's parked in the alley.

Do you want to go fire them into the air? And me, I wanted to. Of course I wanted to, but also I didn't want this drifter up from Juarez to have my prints on his pistol. Touch them all. Right, yes. So I said no, I apologized

profusely that I wasn't going to go blast rounds in the alley. Lo siento, lo siento. Of course you have to use your fucking third grade Spanish. Of course I had to be inclusive to someone. Yeah, that's what it is. What? What do you think of this?

I think he's just trying to be respectful. When a guy tells you he has guns in his trunk, you give him a little respect. Gracias. Gracias, but no gracias. You use the usted form. I did? You have a Glock in your trunk?

Usted. That is when you use it. That is when you use it. I've never known when to use it unless you're talking to a king. That's correct. It's a king or a Glock in the trunk. Or Seth.

Yeah. Seth with a big gold chain and a bunch of fucking hot pistols in the car. Did anyone, Kevin, did you see if anyone shot the guns? I wanted to, but you didn't tell me which way they went. Jesus Christ, Kevin. I didn't know which way, and you go,

don't come, but I want to fire some guns at this guy. No, Kevin. I didn't hear any gunshots. I don't think it happened. No, I don't think he did. Yeah, because no one could speak the correct Spanish to him. But one brave man was out there. No, he wanted somebody who's the familiar, but he wanted to hear two.

No, he didn't want to hear two. He was looking to make a connection. All right. I think if a bunch of comedians fired guns in an alley last night with a random New Mexican, the festival would probably be done today. Hey, Karen, we need 16 grand in bail.

There's other people in here. You're making me pay by the pound. It sucks. I had a briar I didn't know about. So I will not see you guys tomorrow. I have a fucking open warrant in Las Vegas. You do. For what?

I didn't pay a fucking... I didn't register my car when I moved there in the state. And I got pulled over. And I never paid it, of course. Because, you know, song right for song right. And then... Come and take it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yo tengo mi liberdade, you know. See? Anyway, so yeah, I got called the other day and they were like, hey, this is Las Vegas and I was like, yeah, right. And they were like, no, this is your fucking case file, you have an open warrant. Will you please send us a thousand dollars?

And I was like, well, I'm not falling for this one again. But no, they were real and I didn't pay it and now I just have a fucking warrant in Las Vegas. Nevada. Not New Mexico. The one where you're from.

Your old stomp grounds. So what are you going to do if you ever have to go back there? What if you get a gig in Las Vegas? Well, I'm doing Skank Fest. But there's no rules or law at Skank Fest so I think it's like an autonomous zone. It's like the open water. It's like international water. Yeah, yeah.

It's like where the North Korean border meets the South Korean border. The DMZ. The DMZ. Well, that's great. Do you want to explain DMZ to Steve? Yeah, I do. This is the demilitarized zone, so there's a read-upon strip between the two countries. It's like the tank, Steve.

It's like the tank. Well, you can't fuck the tank. the tank, Steve. You can't fuck the tank. Very good, Steve. You can't lick the tank. You can't go along the tank. If you try to fuck the tank, you're going to break your rule. And your rule is how you fuck. Guys, guys with the rule,

you know the rule. I don't know the rule. You don't have any rule. So now we're going to go the other way. rule. I don't know the rule. You don't have any rule. So now we're going to go the other way. So the rule is the thing that grows off your... Your dick. It's your dick. Your dick is the rule, man.

The tip? Nah, it's the tip. The rule, you mean like... Your dick, yep. Like a ruler? Nah, man, I call it a rule, man. A rule, alright. So you don't know where to go with the bit? You just put more stank on it?

Have you seen any of these, Tanner? I have, and I love it. Yeah, I don't know, guys. What are we doing? Have you already discussed the fact that... Did you guys have a plan? No! He's brought on two more funny cars.

Has Sam ever had a plan? Yeah. Has there ever been a plan? No. Never. Don't go get pulled over in Las Vegas. That should be part of the plan. You can't fly.

You got to drive in, huh? No. You're not going to fly in. They're not going to be waiting with fucking guns at the airport. Who was it that called you? Was it like a state trooper? Was it like the DMV?

This seems like a DMV thing. You just didn't pay registration. It was the courts of, it was, what, Cliff County? What? Clark. Clark County. Clark County. Yeah. I lived there for two years.

My wife was dancing. They're coming to you. It was whichever between Siegfried and Roy, whichever one is alive is the DA. That's right. Yeah. You have to pay the fine. But I don't have the money. You cannot pay me. You have to send the letter. What if I pay you in fudge?

You have to bring back my partner, Roy and or Siegfried, whichever one passed away. Wait, is this the tiger? And see. So, that's a little riffing. We know that's why y'all listen. It's for hot goofs like that.

And also so Becker can tell you how many fucking quesadillas he ate instead of having relationships with friends. Yeah. I also want to know about the back titties. Oh, yeah. Steve, you posited this the other day. Yeah, yeah. You said you've seen them, right? Yeah,

girl with titties on the backside. Okay, but with nipples, not just fat tits. Nah, I'm talking breasts. Okay. How did you find that, Steve? I live a very unbusy life.

I do as well, but I haven't hit that corner yet. Well, he's hitting all the corners. He's hitting all the corners you'll never know about. I know, I can't reach. Steve has sent me some DMs that I've chunked to. I'm the guy. I wish I could sell porno videos back in high school again.

No, I don't know what you mean. This is what I'm going to do. I'm going to start an OnlyFans. But it's just like I can send you a link to some wild shit that I saw. Yeah. You want to see the wild shit Steve fucking lives with? I don't know

if you do. I have seen it. And I've had to apologize to a lot of people after viewing it. If you're going to open a DM from Steve, you should be on a public Wi-Fi. You should be using a VPN just in case you didn't do your

due diligence. Also somewhere no one can look over your shoulder. Oh, yeah. Don't open it on the bus. Everybody's just going, what is that yeah so take your laptop into the bathroom of a starbucks close and lock the door and then go to his own they hate it when you take your computer into the bathroom they don't like it they really don't like it and i'm just working on a novel

you've got me interested both of you now, what's a weird place, a strange place you've jacked? I carjacked on the way from Denver to Trinidad a month ago while driving, and I'm curious if you guys jacked it in a similar, like, elevator that gets stuck. Like a dog cage? The get stuck part's what stopped Steve from agreeing with the elevator. He said get stuck and then he was gone. Oh yeah, you... Yeah, it wasn't stuck.

It was a broken elevator. It was an in-service elevator. I've jerked in some strange places. Let's hear it. Here's the first one, it was quick. On the way back from Boulder to Denver

when I was in college driving. I had a stick shift too so I gave him fourth gear. I'm fucking risking it all. I was horny as a motherfucker. You know, when it's... It was time.

If I wasn't going to pull over and jerk off, that would have been, I feel like, too risky at 1 a.m. Did you ever confuse the stick shift with your penis? Were you ever like, ah, ah. No, why is it... Hit the clutch.

Now my dick doesn't have a ball on top of it. Very good. I was testing it. What do you do with the ejaculate? You just leave it in your pants? All over his belly. No, no, I was wearing shorts. Cleaning up is my favorite part of jerking off.

The shorts? The shorts are... It's a very tidy gun. part of jerking off. The shorts The shorts are Jesus Christ. It's a very tidy gun. I run a tight ship. I feel like

Rob comes in a napkin and like folds it. I feel like I'm a bird. I'm making one of those

things, you know. American flag. Salute to bird. He either does that or he jerks off at his wife's coffee and watches her drink it. And he's even harder. Yeah, that's not almond milk. I love those nanny cams.

We don't even have kids, but I have nanny cams everywhere. Why do you keep buying nanny cams? We're going to have kids at some point. So what is your answer? A car? I have a weird place. So when I was younger, we used to mow this lady's lawn. Is that code?

Who's we? You and the boys? You know, you mow lawns for money. I forgot you grew up in 1952. Oh, you to mow the lawn for money. I forgot you grew up in 1952. Oh, you never mowed the lawn for money? Must be nice to be white. I never got paid for it, Steve. You stole the lawnmower.

You just had to mow. I had to mow my grandpa's lawn all the time. Not your grandpa's. He was a hero, Steve. Was he? Yeah. I believe it. He was in the Korean War, the forgotten tragedy.

Dang. What was your grandpa's name? My grandfather was in World War II. Which side? Anyway. The one black Nazi? That's right, that movie. The One Black Nazi.

He teaches them how to dance. Starring Don Cheadle. Another one, Don? He's in the concentration camp teaching them how to fucking harmonize. He sets up their skulls and does a sick drum solo. Anyway,

it could be Hotel Franklin. Yeah, Rob knows a lot about that side of the war. I do? Oh, yeah. Go ahead. So, I mowed this lady's lawn. She was a bigger lady.

She used to wear this sundress. It was the first time I saw a pilsner in public. Like, it's real flesh. She used to wear this. She would help and the first time I saw a pussy. Real flesh. She was helping pull weeds and shit. Hanging out, mowing. She bends over to pull weeds. She would just bend at the waist.

I look over and man, I saw the pussy. 11 years old. Now that I look back, there was something going on. It was very red. But that was the first time I seen it. I didn't know.

It's always fucking horny, so I go in the back when she put the lawnmower back in the shed and I just jerked off. In her yard? Yeah. You jerked under the sun in a woman's yard? No, in the shed.

Not in the shed, just next to it. Oh. Hand on the shed, 12-year-old AJ. Oh, I didn't put hand on my tippy toes. Why was it so red, Steve? That was your first dalliance for the white lady. I didn't ask her.

Excuse me, man, why is your pussy so red? I thought that's what it was supposed to be. He's like, well, young man, it's a long story. Did you have the audacity to still charge her after that? Did you still go up to her and be like, hey, $25. She knew what it was. She gave me my money every week. That's great.

That's the mold along. These are the free markets you're fighting so hard to defend, Robert. That's correct. Did you ever drug off there again? No. Do you think you could do it now as an adult? Oh, yeah. Man, if I need to go, I will.

This is mental. Every time you hear a lawnmower, you're just like, Oh! No! Anytime you see someone pulling weeds, just reaching down. Take out that weed slowly. I'm jacking off right now.

Mind freak. That'd be awesome if you could do it without using anything. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Chris Angel. Didn't you used to be able could do it without using anything. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Chris Angel. Didn't you used to be able to do it without touching? Oh, yes. He's trying to do it again.

Yeah, somebody get him a PlayStation controller. I have a beautiful mind. Somebody crumble up some Fritos. That gets you hard on the mind. I get it. Yeah, very good. Rob, what do you got? Where have you jacked it? Rob, you've had 17 top. I get it. Yeah, very good. Rob, what do you got? What have you jacked in?

Rob, you've had 17 minutes to think about this. Yeah. You've had 17 minutes to make something up. I would, the craziest one, maybe not even that crazy. I'd be curious if someone else had done this. Fucking flight got canceled, canceled again, sitting in an airport for like eight hours and I just went into the family restroom

at an airport. You have to go to the family restroom. Show a little respect. Go to the family restroom. Get on that changing table, put your legs back. Just wait for someone

to come in with a fresh diaper. I came out of it and it's such a great place, space to clean up, a sink, nice, a towel, you know, not the floor. It's luxurious. Luxurious. Yep. I enjoyed the cleanup and then came out And it's such a great place, space to clean up, a sink, nice, a pair of towels.

It's luxurious. Luxurious. Enjoyed the cleanup and then came out and turned out there's some lady with a kid who shit his diaper waiting to get in. Oh, sorry! You're smoking a cigarette? Yeah. Do not go in there! If I'm not in a bathrobe, somehow I'm just not wearing a bathrobe.

Glass of wine. It's all yours. It smells like a bunch of trees are in bloom in there. The only place better than that at the airport is the United Lounge bathroom because there's a shower in there. Oh, wow. A true road dog. You're going to the shower? Yeah.

Pussy. It's true. Shame onussy. It's cool. What's that? Yeah, there's a bunch of bottles. Shame on you. No, shame on you. You're sex shaming. Water's terrible.

You got to jerk off out of the shower. You're kick shaming someone? Listen, you got to jerk off out of the shower. What do you have against the shower? My penis is not in the shower. My body is. And I blast onto the floor. Onto the floor.

Oh, okay. That's different. Yeah. I'm choking. How about on an airplane? No. Yeah, dog. Yeah.

Whoa, who said it? Oh. K.O.B. Heaven. Jacking it in the sky. I was 20. What are you going to do? That's pretty old.

Not jerk off in the plane. Yeah. Most of us did that. I can't sit down in there. Yeah Most of us did that. I can't sit down in there. Yeah, it's a hover. I've never dumped on a plane. You never dumped?

I've dumped, but in chunks. Come on, look at me. Come on. It's like looking in a mirror. Except my vision is good. Anyone else ever get an erection when you land? Oh, yeah. I wake up with one all the time.

Is that like a pressurization thing? Something's going on. Ladies, if you're sat next to a stranger on a plane and he nods off, he might wake up with an erection. Yeah. And the pressure needs to be drained. It's the cabin or something. It's the best. It's the hardest I've ever been. Yeah. And the pressure needs to be drained. It's the cabin or something. It's the best.

It's the hardest I've ever been. Unbelievable. I know. I wish my wife was waiting on the jet bridge for me with a bunch of candles lit

and I could be like, see, it still does it. Let me in there. Wow, the ground too, huh? Dude, have you never experienced this? No. Oh, dude.

It's crazy. It's profound. It's profound. It's pretty profound. Yeah. That's why I only fly in shorts. It's like a 15-year-old TARDIS. It is rock. Every time?

Not every time. I never know when. Yeah. What the hell? You can't predict it. It's why I like the middle seat. I like the middle seat because I'm a masochist. I like to inflict pain.

Yeah. Anyone else experience this? Whoopsie. Andrea, sadism or masochism, what's he talking about? You know what I'm saying? Huh?

No, he's zoned out. He's all perked up. Yeah. I think he was falling in love with Rob. You're just staring at Rob. Wait a second, you don't have a gun in your trunk, do you? It's his. In the two-tenths.

I'm so sorry, Andre. You just assumed I was the other Mexican from last night? Yeah. Hey, look, I've been there with the whole Bori situation earlier. I know what that feels like. Feels good. Feels power. Feels like you're

God's right hand Charlie. Anybody else? Any of the other guys out in the audience getting hard when the plane lands? Hiker for sure. Long hair Randy over there. I feel like the women in the room should know it's not something they're trying to do.

It's not like, I think it's just a reaction. It's a press... I think it's just... It's like a reaction. It's a pressurization situation. You sound like you're defending yourself. I am, I am. I don't want them to think I'm like sitting in the middle seat

trying to get... Your Honor, I... Waiting for the turbulence. Give me a blanket, quick. Where's the weirdest place you got heart then, Steve? Becker, getting involved. Becker, off the bench. I want to know Steve's answer, because I bet weird shit turns Steve on.

Probably your mom's house. Whoa! Oh my God! Your mom's pussy is bad. I bet. And I got hard there. It was weird. And then it's wild and out. Steve, you do that. Where's Nick?

You kind of exude sex. You like give off sex. Do you disagree? I compared you to give off sex. I would never say that to him. I mean as a compliment. Sure. Steve, you exude sex. Yeah.

You're just like cool and confident. It's either you or Hiker is the horniest guys I know. Fair. It'd have to be you over Hiker. I learn new weird stuff to think about every time I'm around you. They're thoughts I would have never had on my own. Like fat titties. Last time I saw you

I think there was a discussion of where to put Liquids that were new that you were obsessed with What? You wanted to pee in a lady No, I did not want to pee in a lady This bitch asked me to pee in her In her This was back when I was talking

Now it came up because other people are peeing the pee pee again. Oh yeah, there's a big pissing at people renaissance. This is the golden age of pissing inside of women. It must be. I don't know why people are peeing. What is the pee pee? How do you pee when you're hard? I don't know.

It's what a lot of people are doing at the showers at the United Club. They're finding a woman at the United Club. Or just a willing, short man. You had him on earlier. Did you do it or no? Did I pee in her? No, I couldn't. You were at my house.

I would have pissed in her at her house. That's a very valid point. Yeah, that's a very valid point. They're not covering this territory at the Adam-Caten-Holland show. We're on the cutting edge of sex positivity and race relations over here.

Yeah, what new stuff are you working on? There's no thought that's been distracting you the whole weekend, other than back titties. What new stuff am I working on? Like comedy? No. What gross thoughts are you having lately that you could teach my brain new things? titties what new stuff am i working on like yeah with like comedy or no no god no what gross thoughts are you having lately that you could teach my brain new things you thought becker

was like you got any new bits you're working on i was like what are we doing here you guys were in a new bit since last time peeing and people was involved there was what was that 70 yeah um it was you and fuck what was the name of that secret gay guy that used to bang Pryor Paul Mooney Marlon Brando if I could remember Paul Mooney

imagine a world where I remember the name Paul Mooney anyway yeah I don't know it just comes when I think about it I don't just have It just comes when I'm thinking about it. I don't just have a Rolodex. I need to tell these people about this or this. I just remember when the moment...

Fine. Back to what he's all due for the week. This is where we don't let Becker run the interview. We have like eight minutes left, too, by the way. Eight minutes left of what? For the full episode. I'll tell you the thing that I've been thinking about a lot. What's that? Popcorn?

I would love to be a popcorn. You look like you're thinking of popcorn all the time. I hear they're putting cheese on it. If you put nutritional yeast on popcorn, it's a fun afternoon. Hey, go to that spice rack. You can

sprinkle anything on it. Paprika? Cumin? Mmm. That's what I'm doing on the plane. No, I was thinking about... Cumin, it's a coming joke. Take it away, Rob. I was thinking about pegging. I was thinking about pegging.

I feel like it's really in the zeitgeist. It wasn't two years ago. Two years ago, it was cool. Now everyone wants to get pegged. Now it's not that cool. Not everybody, Rob. Not everyone is stoked on the idea of being fucked in the ass.

Straight blasted. But Rob, like I said, you were gay for a while and then you got successful and you were like, just kidding. You got that coding credit and you're like, got you, bitch! I'm out!

I suck 23 dicks to get here! I would suck 23 more. The 23rd was Andy Richter. Yeah. The 21 through 22. 21 through 22. 21 and 22. I'm not good at sequentialism. So Rob, you're all about pegging.

I'm sure, yeah, but I'm also saying I think it's a thing that more people are doing now, but two years ago it was very taboo. Two years ago. I feel like. During quarantine? There's not COVID safe. People are dying out there.

But don't you go to a lot of parties where people are fucking with masks on anyway? I do. Yeah, you're like a big Eyes Wide Shut guy. You go to mass sex parties? I've talked about this with Rob. Rob has a very nice job, and he's very open sexually. And I told him that he could live the wildest most erotic fucking life if he wanted to

yeah and you you've restrained yourself from living there some yeah I mean not restrained myself

do you want to get married I'm in a committed relationship right right you're married so you do things together yeah and it's not for tax purposes love

yeah it's not because her dad owns the firm That's right That's right Yeah What is these sex problems I want to know more about that

They're all over Steve And you get a plus one So now who exudes sex I get that Yeah you can invite someone You can invite someone But they gotta be cool They gotta be

They gotta be cool They have to be open-minded. Cool meaning like... They have to have a leather jacket. You're not allowed to say, Ew! That thing is pissing in each other! That gross lady.

All new lines, but not Sam's. Yeah, we're not... We're just not all fours and people are fucking on our backs. It's a living. I heard the tape. Rob, tell us more about your pegging situation. There is no situation.

You were just asking for what kinky things are on people's minds. That's on my mind. Yeah. Are you looking for that in your life, Robert? I don't need to look for it. I got it. Oh, good. Good.

Thank you, Kevin O'Brien. Exaggerated reactions. A pearl clutching. Oh, no. He's satisfied in his marriage. Gross. I love it. I wish I was...

I wish I had a hole back there. What? Yeah, it's why you keep throwing up this way. You have to go to the dump every two weeks. Yeah, my butthole is like a flightless bird. It migrates very slowly every year. Further south? Yeah.

Now it's just on the tip of my dick. I poop out of my dick. That's what I'm trying to delicately say. If you brought your girlfriend here, I'm really sorry. This wasn't the day-day deal for her. Well, we have... I've always said this.

We have the best female audience in show business. I believe it. I've always said that. Our Patreon is insane. It's like half chicks. Really? Oh yeah. I believe it.

And then half babes. 100% dat bitches. Shut up. What? I'm inclusive. This is me shooting the gun in the alley. I feel like the Patreon's mostly Baco Truthers

They're praying to Baco And you'll all know their names soon enough Their favorite quote is Don't go to school tomorrow Is Badger still here? We're stealing everything from Badger. No, we're not.

We look just like him right now. Fat Dick Richardson? Boys, you got anything you want to plug to our ardent and dangerous fan base? They have money.

They love to spend it. They love it. They love to give it to me. Then I give it to Nathan. Then he gives some to Becker. I give some to Becker. Yeah. Then I don it to Nathan. Then he gives some to Becker. Then I don't get a goddamn dime. Because I'm selfless.

I don't ever talk about it. I just do it in silence. I have nothing to plug that isn't already plugged. So I'm good. You're sitting on a plug right now. You have a plug inside of you. Steve? I'm looking to plug.

So if anybody's got something I can plug, I'll be here all night. I won't, actually. Where are you going? Plug your show in Fort Collins tonight. Nobody's going to. Come on. This is not even going to come out. Nobody's going to drive up to Fort Collins.

Very good point. Yes. Maybe think about things in the future you might want people to know about instead of things in four hours. I wasn't going to say that. Yeah. Hey, Rob. Think that went through kid show business. Jesus Christ. Take the cock ring off So that your brain can work

God damn it It's hard to get through airport security With those eyes I'm going to be peeing at somebody At some point in the future Check out my Instagram for that coming up I'll put dates on there

Where I'll be pissing at people in different cities. This has gotten out of control. I don't have any dates. Neither of us have a lot going on. If a comic doesn't have something to plug, that's a fucking bad sign. I have something to plug. I'll be shooting a Glock in the alley tonight.

I'll be putting a barrel of a gun inside of Rob's holes. I wanted to play too. Take the firing pin. Oh, what? Really, Steve? After all the wild shit you said? I have one misfired and you... What time did we start this? said? I have one misfire and you... Yes, so

what time did we start this? We promised we'd get out of here on time. We're at an hour and two. Anyone out there have any questions for our panel? This is the industry panel.

If anybody wants to dump them out or whip it out, this is your chance. Come on up here and scratch that itch. Are you really soliciting for fiends and cause? Yeah, why not? Did you guys switch brains? Did you really?

Oh, what a cad. Anyone have any questions out there? Concerns? Iker, are you hard right now? Do you want to show it off? If you guys join our Patreon, I'll be posting a fun photo of me and Hiker. Well, me and someone whose face is not in the photo,

but his head is still in there, if you know what I mean. Hiker, I have that picture. I know. I was looking through my phone recently and there's just me kneeling in the 715 bathroom. I think you were there that night.

You were at 715? I mean, I've been to 715 drinking yet. Well, I was kneeling and someone had taken a photo on my phone of me kneeling next to someone's flaccid penis. And I'm doing this. I'm on, like, one knee. Like, it's like, you know when you're in the football picture,

you're holding the helmet? Yeah, but instead it was someone's penis. And I was like, whose penis is this? And then I saw their shoes, and I was like, oh, it's fucking Hacker. No one's wearing hiking boots like the Hikeman. And I'm going to be posting that picture on the Patreon. And you can see the legendary staff

that has made many people move away. That's not a good representation. You said you saw it yesterday. I saw it yesterday in the bathroom at the Skylark. We're not looking at each other. We're looking at hikers. You can learn a thing or two.

Look at hikers, Big? Oh, yeah. Okay. That's the playbook. I just gave it to you. All right. Look at hikers rule? Yes.

Who learned? Who learned? Who learned? Hiker, if you want to come up and stand on this empty seat and just show everyone, I don't think anyone would be too bummed. Or Mitch. Oh yeah, we're curious about Mitch's too.

Mitch's is like Sasquatch. Nobody's ever seen it. It's blurry in every photograph. Where is Mitch? Eating a whole chicken? Spit out the bones, Mitch Right next to Mike Green's bed Oh, nice

Jeff Cohen just walked in Jeff Cohen's here, too Oh, Jesus Christ Oh, man, it's a hog party I have a photo of his dick, too All of us do How do you have photos of everybody's dick? I'm the puppet master

Yeah, it's called ammo Yeah It's called ammo. Yeah. It's called blackmail, but they're all white. It's weird. Do you feel left out? Are you going to send them one of yours?

Yeah, see? Let me get some. There you go. You're disappointed. Does he have a picture of your dick? I bet he does. No.

I'll never tell. Becker sold his dick for heroin in 2010. No dick. Yep. Not very much heroin. Doesn't miss it. That's probably it. We love you all.

Thank you so much for supporting this podcast. Thank you, guys. Thank you to Carlos up there. He filmed it. Join our fucking Patreon so we can buy more domestic hair and turtle suits we can take back tonight.

Our guest today, of course, Stephen A.J., my very good friend. Another very good friend of mine, Robert Gleason right there my work associate Becker and my main hog daddy Nathan Lund

everyone the number 7 dash strong dot com we're live promo code Chevy 5 to get 5% off on a $53 shirt. And what's the hot sauce? I don't fucking know. Alright, that'll be coming later.

Yeah. We're blowing it already. Ah.