Chubby Behemoth - Propeller Time

Episode Date: November 30, 2025

SEE THE BOYS LIVE - https://www.samtallent.com/     Sponsors:   CashApp - Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/g0yurtz9 #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Cash App Green, overdraft coverage, borrow, cash back offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.     IndaCloud - If you're 21 or older, get 40% OFF your first order + free shipping @ IndaCloud with code CHUBBY at https://inda.shop/CHUBBY #indacloudpod     Factor - Eat smart @ http://factormeals.com/chubby50off & use code chubby50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 year.     Harry's - Get the Harry's Plus Trial Set for only $10 at https://www.Harrys.com/CHUBBY #Harry'sPod     PATREON EPISODES: https://www.Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth     This week the boys are all together in Denver! Sam is sadly unable to experience certain joys, would do it to save a dogs life, and had to run inside to get Sophie. Nathan imagines different ways to be split, got new slacks, and had a nice stoned charcuterie Thanksgiving.     00:00 Coldest Place You Can Go 01:37 December Is Canceled 03:34 In That Well For So Long 05:06 What's Your Locomotion? 07:04 Explained The Whole Thing 09:31 Fake Shit 10:52 The Ice Cave 12:53 It Should Be Illegal 17:26 Reaction In Real Time 19:28 Cold Wind At Night 20:45 Good Old Fashioned Fun 23:53 Silver Fox 25:01 Three Guys In My Life 27:03 Stop Being A Phony 29:17 Over A Sofa 30:16 Chugged Party Salsa 34:18 Thanksgiving 35:54 Dragon On It 37:54 Instead Of Clapping 39:10 Evil Hippie Energy 40:38 Hair Brings Sickness 42:06 Ambitious But Fun 43:42 Stinky Cheese And Salami 45:32 Thought You Were The Best At It 49:09 I Was Brave 52:20 Fighting Chance 55:00 So Jolly 56:23 We'll Call Him Jupiter 59:43 On My Birthday 01:01:50 That Was Really Bad     Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth

Keep track of time because I don't have either one of my normal clock's visible. It's 406. We're going. Yeah. So 436, we're done, right? I wish. The Grinch lives in my... Should we even have this on if it's just going to blow cold air on us?

Yeah, I let it record for a while, so I'd be able to get rid of it. Cool. Yeah, you're FDR? Yeah, we're here in fucking Deer Lodge, Nineveh. It's terrible. Why do you have Nineveh on the brain? Because it's the coldest place you can go. And this place is super cold, too.

Where is it? it's all the way up in Canada Nineveh. Yeah. You probably still call it like a yellow hat. But I call it Nunavut. That makes me think, I thought it was in the Bible. Nunavut? Sounds biblical.

It could be. I mean, a lot of indigenous cultures predate the Bible, I would say. World tradition. Yeah. Used to be, tribes would go down on each other. That was an oral tradition. Just out under the big old sky. There's no light pollution.

from electricity yet just going down by moonlight everyone was bald for a while because rats are reading their hair they're just glistening yeah they're just out there in the moonlight just going down on each other they were 60-90 yeah just like eggs trying to re-enter

the womb these are bad but I'm drinking they're really bad they're thick and they're sweet and they make you more thirsty my lips are bleeding I've been chapped and cold since I arrived here in Denver Colorado. And while I've been gone, the Grinch moved into my house. What did she say? No presents this year? Yeah. She said, hey, December's canceled. Not even Christmas. We're going straight to 26th when I get back. Right. And it's not happy New Year because we're not going to

January 1st. No. We're going to January 4th. Right. There's no New Year celebration. There's no kiss at midnight. No champagne, no espresso, no prosceco. Straight back to work. No, it's whatever. She's, I wanted to we're going to frankenmouth we're taking little sous up to frankenmuth which is like it's the christmas destination in michigan it's between two hellholes it's between bay city and flint but in between those two festering post capital failures there's like santa lives there we're going to deliver susu to santa nice but i wanted to stay at these cool little hotels that are built in old box cars in the woods whoa i know i know No, and instead the Grinch was like, that's stupid, we're going to drive home.

Okay. Who's going to drive home? She is? Me. They're going to be all hogged out on eggnog. Yep. Maybe she drives. Maybe I'll let Susu drive.

Seuss, take the wheel. Make Hannah drive without her glasses and with a cool buzz. This is my niece driving. Meanwhile, I'm greened out in the people. passenger seat he's topless mooting everyone it's Christmas

they can't why would she be she's topless to get you guys while she's mooning the rest of the cars it's like a double dip I think it's because

she's wearing like a jumpsuit so she had to dump them if she wanted to press ham I don't know it's my fantasy my niece is driving the car I she's all fucked up on fudge she's like nodding on

I had a laugh driving here because I was with Megan's family and I hadn't seen her brother and my sister-in-law and their kid because baby Fay has been sick. Baby Fay. Well, she was in that well, they didn't know. Or else she wouldn't have been in there that long. They checked in the well first, but they didn't see her. I mean, she won hide and seek.

Parents won that. But, yeah, they finally came over, and then I had to come here, and I wanted to come here. But I just wish there were two of me, and then I laughed at the idea of whether I would be split right down the middle or at the waist and all the challenges. Because down the middle, you get a normal sized person from the top, you know, height-wise. And a hand and a hand and a leg and a ball. An eye. An eye for seeing the cute little child. In my case, the left side would have the penis.

A mouth for smiling. But just horrifying, you know, the whole way down. You can see everything in there. Yeah, you're innards. Are you cauterized? Is that how you see it? Yeah, I'm not flopping out. I'm spilling out.

Obviously, that'd be ridiculous. I like the idea of it's like a glass case. Like in the cell. Yeah, like in the cell. When that horse, you didn't see that. It's too scary, right? I've seen there. Did you watch the cell?

That was the last scary movie he ever watched was the self. That horse getting separated was insane. So that would be me. Yeah, you see it. But it's, I'm alive. I'm thriving. But then. How do you move?

What's your locomotion? I didn't get that far. I guess a chair. Yeah, are you breakdance walking? I imagine it just looks like normal walking, but. No, he still has to obey gravity. Why? What do you mean why?

We're bifurcating in with glass. I know, that's enough. Okay. Magical realism needs some rules. Gumby. But yeah, I did picture you a bloody mess going north to south, but then when you described the other way, I pictured you like a little sausage knot. Right.

I want you the other way. I want you caught latitudinally across the equator you because then you're just on your stumps. What, the top half? Yeah, I want the top half to be my guy. The top half is here, dicking around, but the bottom half barely counts. Top half's down there. Fucking tying people's shoes together.

We get you a skateboard. You learn how to do sick tricks. You're like a bulldog that can skate. skateboard. That's what I envision. Yeah. And you're just down here and like I doesn't fade at my croix on top of your head. The bulldog boy. No. And then you get the bottom half and you're like,

hey, it's a living. And I'm like, no, it's not. Kill me. I get the butt. I don't want the butt and balls. Yeah, no. Your feet, your butt and balls. At least you couldn't itch. That's right. You'd have to itch for me. Becker? You get a new job, sir. It'd just be nudging me. Yeah. Hitch him.

Right, I can't talk. I'm sentient. Like, I'm in both places. Yeah. You're just shitting all the time. I can't talk or convey, but I am there. Yeah, that was getting me on the drive over. Yeah.

With all these dickheads on the road that I want to kill. No, the only way you could do it that I'd still want to chill with you is if it was your top half and I just had that guy. And the bottoms with Creech, you know, just like pounding her all the time. She loves it. She's going down on it. Yeah. Uh-huh. It's feet are pulling her hair.

There's no gut in the way. No gut in the way. There's no gut on her head. It's literally a sex toy. She just has your lower. She doesn't have to feed it. It's not eating any dog food. It's not shirtless.

It's not shirtless in picking. This would be perfect for her. Ron, I explained the whole thing to Ron, because I was pretty sure I had seen him. You handed out pamphlets at Thanksgiving. You're like, hi, I have a presentation for everyone? But I said, have you ever, if you're feeding the dogs, who gives a shit, sometimes you rinse it off, sometimes you eat it and he was like yeah and I was like Ron

and how many feet does Ron have that is that has little to nothing come on man that's not a point for you yes it is bro what is saying that the man that has exonerated you by showing similar behavior oh because he had an amputation

because he's eating so much dog food he's like the bottom half of a guy trying to have it all trying to be a good husband and friend. He's not a star witness in the case. That's all I'm saying. He doesn't have as many feet as he came into the world with

because of toxic masculinity, really. He worked himself footless. I'm willing to see that maybe... It wasn't a dog food infection. It wasn't not a dog food infection. Me and Ron, tough guys. Real men.

Getting skateboards in your 50s so you can get around better. Well, mine. Dump gobbets. Mine is to be everything for everyone. Right. His was, well, his was also because he was trying to provide for his G.D. fam.

I would have to go in fourths, I think, in order to really achieve what I need to do as a person. Huh. Yeah. Yeah, your leg would almost be like a little guy. Pretty much. Well, I wouldn't do it that way, though. It wouldn't be equal force. I'd be cut like this, so head and arm.

Head and arm task. Yeah, exactly. So I could still, like, hold a microphone and talk. So you can still sell. Yes. And then there's just kind of like pretty much from here to here over with an arm and a leg. Oh. So, yeah, I got this whole, like, probably, I don't know.

Two, and then. That'd be three-fifths. And then Dick Ball's leg. Hi, I'm Dick Ball's Leg. Right. Emily keeps that. She, I'm sure that's quadrant four of four. She would love that. That's last.

pick and then foot and I'd give that to a wrong nipple and arm give a foot to Ron so he could raise some hell out there oh yeah he also we were talking about movies and shit he saw train

dreams or whatever and then a commercial for avatar the new avatar came on he's like you watch any of those I was like no I haven't I didn't think that people loved them but they do and there's going to be more of them so I figure yeah I'll watch them at some point he goes I don't I don't like watching any movies where there's a bunch of fake shit

in. I mean, I was like, all right. That was a fun revelation. That's every movie. No fantasy. Right. Except for trade dreams. Wars. War movies, train dreams, like serious, uh, biopics. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, I guess that's one way to watch movies is to have it all be real ass. I mean, that's kind of how I approach novels, honestly. So like, I kind of get that in a way. But I do like special effects and stuff. I'm no, you know, I'm not an idiot.

But like you like Stephen King, I would imagine he wouldn't care for Stephen King because there's not evil clowns in the sewers. There's just turds. Tirds are scary enough. Tirds and rats? And rats. You got a mean clown from outer space or a bunch of turds and rats? I mean, tampon.

Oh, something's bugging my eye. Shit. Uh-oh. See? If you were a half man, this wouldn't be a problem. Your eye would be at Creates' house right now. I don't know what's going on with it. So you've been trying to be a good husband instead of coming to work.

I've been sleeping with my wife instead of freezing in here in the ice cave. We'd be so much warmer if you were here on the couch with me. Sharon one blanket, back where in the middle? It would not be cuddling. It would be better. You couldn't stop telling the green room how heterosexual you are last night. Oh yeah, you left. That's not fair.

I said that I was sadly unable to experience the joys of homosexuality. You made it sound like our buddy Eric had a disease and that you were glad that you didn't have the same affliction. Do you want to tell some of the stories that Eric had? Because he was really speed running being gay. For a guy who was horny and in the military when we knew him to come in wearing tech pants that he bought in a parking lot for a tuna sandwich.

Those pants, those patchwork pants. Oh, my God. Amazing technical or dream pants. They're the kind of pants that are built for spinning around. Yeah. Yeah, okay. With the dervish special. With the ribbon on a stick.

Yes, there's some kind of fire hoop. What is that? That's like an Olympic event, isn't it? Eric said, I've been going to a lot of festivals, and I said, yes, I saw the pants. Yeah. No, the Xchel was the brand that used to make those weird corduroy patchwork pants. I don't know, dude. Probably that they weren't super, they weren't technical, but they were ridiculous.

They're patches and they're made of the same textile as those pants that make women's butts look really big. yeah you know the ones that flow and really they also make bong carrying bags out of that i don't know becker i don't know uh wait that's like a hemp i think bong bag the bong bag is always hemp it feels like the rucks they make those burlap ones but they also made the like i'm cool and i like playing with devil sticks war this is probably more your territory yeah because i uh used to turn those people upside down until the pills fell out of their pockets and i just took their money. But yeah, no, he did go from, yeah, the first time I kissed the guy, and I was like,

this is the only story we'll get. And then it was the first time I blew a guy and it was like, whoa. Yeah. And then you were like, I'm so straight. It should be illegal or whatever. I'm like, all right, Sam. That's cool. That's not fair.

I'm the straightest man of all time. I know this is a funny. Okay. It was a funny comment. Well, what were you trying to say? I'm jealous. That is the truth. You were not saying I'm jealous of your openness or your curiosity.

because I am so straight that I couldn't imagine doing that. It's effectively what I said. I said I envy this, your ability. Your anus in your anus. Yes. Your ability to suck and fuck because that doesn't interest me at all. You know? My wife has always said I'm the most boring straight guy there is.

If Cash App could add the perfect discount to its card for you, based on your favorite places to spend money, what would it be? Jan Sucococ. I wasn't even I was chomping on these nuts but cash app love cash app answer the question

what was it could you repeat the question is helix alive I don't want to talk about it next point where are they the family wants closure you can pay for funeral expenses on cash app you can buy gloves and rope

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Half off kids' pants. Whoa. From downtown. Headshot. You won't from StarCraft. You must construct an original pilot. It doesn't. The brood feed.

So much for a straight ad read. I broke my own rule. You broke your own ass, dude. That was like a Michael Jackson joke. Yeah, of course. I haven't thought about that joke in 30 years. Well, I bet you wish that your drug rugs were cheaper. 30% off haircuts would maybe get you into the door.

Rugs and haircuts. Now you're speaking of my language. Okay, well. Maybe the dispensary, 50% off or whatever. Boom. Yeah, exactly. Things that I buy. I'm trying to think it's not good.

I don't, I, these were all gifted. Read the app. Stargraft. I like Steam. I buy video games on Steam sometimes. Okay. You know, 30%. All right.

Let me tell you, let me tell you, let me have another pistachio. Maybe some pistachios. Buy one, get one on pistachios. Yeah, I buy it. But somebody else buys the one and then you get the free one. I like it. I think what you guys are doing here. Mel told me a story about an evil hippie.

There's a lot of employees. We'll talk about it later. Cash app. Every hippie accepts Cash App. Let me tell you this. Cash App just released a new status program for the way people actually spend called Cash App Green. We've talked about Cash App Green. All the time.

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Bank partners, prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, member FDIC, Cash App Green, overdraft coverage, borrow, cashback offers, and promotion. provided by Cash app, a block ink brand. Visit Cash.app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. And we're back. Becker, make a note of that right there. So anyway, we are in the green room and, you know, our buddy Eric, who's telling us about... Eric Slobin on Knob.

He literally removed a penis from a vagina to slurp it. While he had three available vaginas that he could be busying himself with. Now, Becker, your reaction in real time was also kind of mine. that's all you know it's perplexing you certainly weren't jealous i wasn't jealous in any way of that no no no no that uh adventurous nature i am jealous of the fact that he can do that because i as a person who's alive for this brief flicker of an aunt's timeline i will never know what that's like half the population has a penis and i'm never going to honk it or squeeze it or rub it till it yellows. You know what I mean?

Ronnie's never going to white. And that's a bummer because that is like a whole thing you could do. That's more people that could love you. Yes. Love me. More physical, you know, like if I could just be like, hey, Emmy, I have zero jealousy. We're all going to go get banged out. You know, we're going to go lay in a pile. That'd be a better situation than being like, you know, just a straight guy who's classically married. Still pretty good, though. It's great. It's fine. But it's better to be. be in a five on five like he was and being so horny that he was like I'm going to suck that thing out and gorp it maybe for a couple years but I mean it sounds like the lady doth

protest too much but I don't want to be labeled a homophobe because I'm not I wasn't trying to say that you're a homophob that you hate it just that you still have a very immature kind of ew gross you used to say that on stage how your gay friends would tell you what they were up to and you would go oh brutal yeah yes for sure because Because, yeah, you just don't have that. The X's and O's are a bit tough. You know, the playbook itself is hard to read sometimes. That doesn't mean I think that it should be banned or burnt.

I know. Okay, yes. I wasn't trying to make it sound like that. No, no. You're a good guy. I was at the diner that's right by the Pepsi bottling plant on Brighton. You know that little diner? Do you ever go there?

Shit, sunset diner or something. It's small. It was for like third shift people. But now it's thriving because that's a neighborhood, like every shit hole in Denver. But anyway, hold on, I am expecting a call from Jansukuk. Why? So we're there. Is he coming here?

It's me, it's Mel. It's my dad. It's Sophie. We're hanging out. We're having fun. The lady, the server, you know, she's fun. My dad says he's going to go to Tucson for three weeks. I say go to Key West.

She says, yeah, what are you stupid? Like, that's great. You know, blah, blah, blah. And then. What's in Tucson? I don't know. He was like, I'm going to go to Tucson for three weeks with Madge. And I was like, no, you're not.

You're not doing that. If you do that, you're going to come back and you're going to go into a safe house because you don't want to do that. You fool. Go to Key West. Is that her idea? Is that Madge? G. Madge's idea.

Tucson? Just what? Dry and hot? I don't know. You know, old people like the desert. Cold wind at night. They're lizards effectively. They lay outside.

They eat bugs. Their brittle skin turns into a carapace. They have to keep wetting it down. So, you know, my sister's friend Josh came to the shows he's an old friend love him dearly

shout out Josh but he might be the gayest man alive so if he brings up some of Josh's antics as he's jet sitting around the gay world you know

he has a bunch of money he's cool and me and Mel are accused of reacting jet sitting in a similar way that you're accusing me the nose of a jet yes he's sitting on it

and spinning it it's called propeller time it's fucking a helicopter Spin me. Yeah. That's why he hangs out at the Air Force base. The boys know how to work a blade.

So anyway, Sophie's like, you guys, you know, you're gross now. And we're like, yeah, it's gross, you know. You know, it should be illegal. We're having fun. We're making my dad laugh. And then my dad goes like this. And there's fucking old gay couple,

like three booths back. Oh, no. And we're goofing and rocking. And Sophie's setting us up and we're whacking dingers. It's just good old-fashioned fun. But then very loudly we have to go, but of course we're joking about this. I love, love. I wish I was gay. It would be cool to be a gay guy. Wish I could sit on some stuff. I'd love to sit on some things. Mel at one point said, the best old guys are old gay guys. Nice job, Mel. It's a little on the nose, but sure. I

I'd love to buy the breakfast of a gay couple. I wish an elderly gay couple would come over and receive their due praise. So, yeah, you can't have fun that loud in public. Or you may know, maybe. Who knows? In a free society, you could. Could you see their faces? No, not without going like this.

Yeah. But my dad went. They could. Maybe they weren't gay guys. When I walked out, I clocked them and they seemed like. Were they sitting on the one side? No. Of the boot?

They were sitting on one. lap one jet almost sitting on the other one's head egg style anyway being gay's cool i'll go on the record but you would i don't have it never god would you wouldn't even like make out with a dude for 15 seconds for anything i don't think i don't think you could i would do it i don't like the i wouldn't do it for a sexual way i wouldn't be compelled you know i wouldn't be driven to make that move. I would do it, you know. You would let a nuclear bomb drop before you would get

fingered by the guy while you made out. I would make out with a guy if it saved a dog's life. Now, come on, you don't care about dogs. I would, if it saved any life, if it moved the needle in a positive way, any way, if he was a dying

man and he's like, I've got 30 seconds to bust, you know, I'd fucking take off my hat and, you know, Pray before the altar of compassion. No, you would. I would, too. Wait, a stranger?

If I was in, let's say, let's say. Or your third favorite gay guy. Let's say I'm at a resort. Okay. I'm at a resort with my family. Six shows. Six shows. Tickets are available.

A guy comes to the show. You know, he's sitting in a wheelchair. Silver Fox. His wife comes up to me and says, hey, my husband's going to die at midnight, and it's his dying wish. Oh, he's not even gay. That's your caveat.

gay he's gay his dying wish is for me to jerk him off no no what about mouth mouth he's he's a he's a donate in his name blue balls you know I'll send flowers goes to the grave with blue ball I'll jerk the guy off if it's his dying wish I think mouth is a bit much it is it's a bit much to ask I mean does everyone know about it like every gay guy's busy it has to be me I think that'd be a Becker job I think that'd be the tool The tool

The tool helps sell shirts And upload podcasts I don't know if it involves Here's a load you can up Oh I mean what do you think? What do you think? You think you're going to blow a guy?

No, I've said I've said the gayest I have ever felt There's like been three guys in my life where it's like, oh, it'd be cool if I, like, made out with that guy. Uh-huh. And it's very fleeting. And, yeah, it is, anything else is, I'm, I used to be grossed out by it. Like, if I saw gay porn or whatever, it's like, oh, no.

Or, like, the idea of, like, being pounded is like, it seems so foreign. And foreign can feel weird in an uncomfortable way, and then it almost feels bad. Panic. Panic leads to pain. But the more I would think about it or talk to gay people or hear. about their lives, it's like, oh, yeah, it's like anything else, but we don't want that. I have no actual palpable

revulsion to... Or that something's wrong with them, but yeah, no, I've never thought, man, I'd love to jack that guy's cack until it blacks. And I'll say this. I have, for sure, specifically in the more cosmopolitan areas of this world, seeing people on the street, because you know I'm attracted to androgyny for sure. I have I've seen people on the street all the time

and I'm like holy shit that's a hot chick and then I'm like oh that's a dude and I don't feel any kind of shame or like you know I'm not mad about it I just kind of like oh okay and then move on that shit happens to me all the time New York Paris airports yeah I mean constantly

and as as male beauty standards have kind of bifurcated you know from the man in the woods that loves bacon and whiskey to like now like men have males like skin routines and they're allowed to glisten like I'm getting trick trick tricked and it's okay I'm not like oh fuck you hot and bothered yeah I'm like huh but not really bothered not bothered but definitely like the needle moves and then you're like huh or like if it when a dude is like being super complimentary flirty it can kind of be nice where it's like you like I don't hey Jancycock

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That's Sam Talent saying that. Yeah, this is legit from Sam T. I got all the heck out of these bad boys. And I just had some of these sent to a morning person in West Virginia, and they provided a lot of comfort to them in a very awful trying time. It's IndyCloud's biggest sale of the year And it's live all month long That's I-N-D-C-L-O-D-O-D-C-O-D-C-O-D-C-O-C-O-D-C-O-C-O-D-C-O-C-B-E-E-B-E-E-W-E-B-E-E-L-E-E-B-E-E-L-E-E-L-E-ROWs. So when you get around a man who kind of has a woman's energy

that is refreshing, because we hang out in so many, like, you know, Brahma-P-PITs. Dude, bros. Yeah. Jan Suckech. I could see bending Jan Suckech over a sofa. Nope. When's he going to get here? He's getting excited. Yeah, let's get him in here.

Our friend Brad one time in high school, we like, pretended like we were going to butt fuck him and scared him throughout the night. He didn't leave? No, I mean, we told him that we took a bunch of ecstasy and we were really horny. Okay. Then there was chicks coming over, and then the chicks didn't come over. And then me and Jay and Cicock slowly were like, man, Brad, you've been working out, you know? Like, just slowly kind of like tightening the glove around him and thought that we were going to fuck him. Yeah, that's pretty good.

It's fun, fun 16-year-old prank. What about, was Chris White there? Chris White was not there, but Chris White came to the shows. You were gone? Yeah, I don't know. Oh, it was Wednesday, right? Yeah, second show. It was Wednesday.

Chris White. At the end of the merch line. Chris White, you know about this guy. He was the first one to have pubs. Oh, yeah. Oh, hell yeah. I've told the story on the pod about seeing Chris White change in like third grade. He had pubs.

They were all like, holy fuck. And he, I thought, I asked him last night, I was he? Because I had forgotten about the interaction I had with him. But the way he reacted to Sam saying that was not like a big laugh or surprise. He almost didn't sell it at all. And I was like, huh. And then we talked for like another 30 seconds. I had, you know, Brent had gotten us food.

So I wanted to go eat. So I was like, sorry, I got to go. And then I asked him last night, I was like, he's, was he fucked up? Or was, is he like just not super reactive, expressive? And he said, yeah, he's always been like, not stoic, but just a little. A slow affect. A little delay or just not super emotive. Not emotive.

Vocal. But big delay. Like Bobby. Bobby doesn't always talk. No, no, no. But when you crack him, you get him hard. And then Chris White would bray like a mule. Okay.

Yeah. He was cool. He was the kid also that chugged a Pace Picante, like party salsa. Nice. Yeah. That's not nice. The big one? Yeah, because like, oh, no.

I think we were, it was the summer between 8th and 9th grade. We were in a trailer. This was a fun night. I'm sure I've told this story. I don't remember a jug of pace. Andy, there was a bunch of kids there. Some of them got into government jobs. but we had some weed

and Chris White couldn't smoke weed because he had to take a piss test for like an NAU baseball tournament I told you he threw like 73 miles per hour in eighth grade or something I can't remember it was crazy he was the best natural athlete that I saw through middle school

Joe Jackson yes and just had a man's body going into fifth grade like but anyway he couldn't smoke weed and we were calling him a lot of fun names we were being very understanding for sure so he was like well you guys are pussies and then to prove his masculinity

he chugged the Pace Picante salsa which inspired another young man named Chad to have to one up that act of brazen wit and just like pure dominance by going up the hill and we were hanging out in a trailer like you know like a mobile

oh yeah the kinds you would drag behind the classic white ones and he fucking ran down the hill and ran through the wall of the trailer like put his shawl, David Bory was there I think Alex Nichols was there we could ask him about it tonight

yeah he put his body through the trailer wall. That's awesome I think I've heard Bory tell that story on AFE arguing that RVs aren't built as well as everybody else assumed they were I can be there yeah oh do they get ripped up

It gets windy and they snap in half. It's the worst thing you can spend money on. Yeah, and a 13-year-old who could deadlift 600 pounds can really put a hurt on that thing. I mean, Chad was fucking yoked. Do you go out the other side or no? No, like through the wall like half in. Damn. You know, like, oh, God, and then like.

Nightmare. Fuck. He stuck and then he's like, give me the base. No, there's only the one. Oh, and he took his shirt off. And throughout high school, after that, we always remembered him that we don't let Munchy take his shirt off because he put a fucking hole in the wall. So then at parties, like when Monsie was fucked up, he'd pop his shirt off and then, you know, do just property damage. Revocable damage to like some single mom's apartment.

Oh, fuck. Yeah, good stuff. How was Thanksgiving boys? Becker. Mine was good. I was, I had surgery the day. before, so I was taking it real easy. You had a head replacement.

Got cut in half. Yep, ate a bunch of food. You had polio installed. He actually did it. I stole the idea. Acting like it was my thing. But yeah. That's why the blanket.

Shout out to Meat Canyon for making Becker's puppet legs. We appreciate that. You guys did wonderful. Yeah, it was great. I had great food. There was an apple pie involved that was maybe my favorite apple pie. Damn.

And so I'm excited about that. I don't know what was different about it. Did mom make it? No, my friend Josh made it. Josh, of course. Yeah, you've got to ask him about it. Yeah, I feel like it's a different variety of apples because it was still just cinnamon, sugar, and butter,

but it was so fucking good. I also had felt like shit for several days, so I might have just really enjoyed it. I mean, you're patting your tummy like you're pregnant. I'm thinking about that pot. Sure, yeah. They usually start patting my body when I, think about a fun memory as well yeah who was just who was just touching themselves oh anchor

anchor he was like joe as he's like telling us about his sexual ex boys he's got a his girlfriend or whatever is is paramour you called her yeah paramour yeah he's like regaling us and then they're all handsy she's like touching the back of his neck as he's like telling us you know these like just lascivious gay stories right she said she would really love a a tattooed dick. Because you knew a guy with a dragon on his cock? Yeah,

White Power Mike, RIP. He had to join up. He went to prison in 15. He went to Canyon City at 15. Damn. Join AB. Yeah, and he got out and gave me my toe tattoos

and 303 in the Colorado tattoo. What the fuck did he go to Canyon City for? It was bad stuff. He was from like Bennett or something. Wow. Yeah. He didn't. He wasn't given a lot of cards.

No. He got out at like 28 and he had the mind of a child and lived at Mouthouse and gave us all tattoos. Wow. He gave me my toe tattoos. I had to tap out.

He called me a pussy. And I was like, I let it power through. He called you a race traitor. Called me a race traitor. I'm a misogynist. Yeah. I had to burn all the pictures of my grandma.

We kept in the house. I'm kidding. Okay. He was a nice man. He had to do what he had to do to survive in the men's world. If you're in a supermax as a child. Oh, it was fucked up.

But anyway, we got out, he gave us tattoos. died. But his penis had a dragon on it. How did he die? Do you know? Yeah. For sure, no.

Well? It wasn't taffy poisoning. He didn't drown in a bouncy house, you know? So he had a dragon cock, so this lady shared with you, she wanted to get a... She thought that sounded real cool. If she had a cock, she'd get a dragon tattooed on it. Oh, okay. Her fingers were all tattooed up.

I posited the idea, okay, ma'am, you and I meet at a bar, you come back to my place. You're kind of nervous. You know, you're a little drunk, I'm a stranger. We're about to have sex. I pull out my dragon penis. You automatically are like sharing your location with your mom and your sister. You know,

you're scared. She was stoked. She was like, I would love it. And I was like, yeah, I know. I know. I saw the pants, ma'am. Eric's alive, yeah. Eric's getting a dragon dick tattoo right now. Yeah. Eric's hard right now in snapping instead of laughing.

Yeah. That was the gayest thing he's done. Snapping. Was he doing that? Yes, dude. Not in the green room. Yes, in the green room. Oh, I didn't notice.

Oh, God. I don't like when people do that. To punctuate? It's like, instead of clapping, it is like a response that's mostly spoken word or poetry. Oh, like applause style, like jazz. Okay, gotcha. Yeah, he's like he's a hep cat trying to swing.

Wow. I know. I mean, I love the guy. It's cool to a. evolve and change, and I don't begrudge any of these iterations of him. But when your buddy starts snapping and wearing tech pants, you know,

maybe... Yeah, he's... Yeah, he's been for a whole magic carpet ride. Maybe I did become... Yeah. Yeah. MDMA and Raves, but sober raves got into, like, enjoyed or enjoy sober raves, so maybe not drinking

as much as... Or maybe just separating the drugs from the dancing? Anyway. Here's what it is. Five ways. I think I figured out what's going on. He wanted to suck a dick, but it did have pussy residue on it. And he was looking at three vaginas as he did it.

Right. That was an important part of the story. He wanted the Js. He snapped into the J and then it snapped back. They echoed. Ripple in time. Since I was like 12, when confronted with evil hippie energy, which he was exuding a little bit of. You stomp it.

I became Jock. Yes. Dome Cold Stunners. 100%. I wanted to put him in the, you know. Razors edge. Outsiders edge would have been better, honestly. You know, a little stinkier, not razors.

But, yeah, so that's why I probably became a lot more like, well, I love women. My wife. Yes. My wife's so gay that I'm straight enough for both of us. Yes, I have to be straight in the relationship. You like androgyny, but you also are trying to get there. I'm not trying to get there. there. I'm literally dressed like,

you know. Look at that high cross. This is the, this is, it's because I can do this now. I have hip mobility. Yeah, that looks cool as shit. Look how cool I look. Look at how long and lean I am. Look at me. Chode style. Yes. Uh-huh. You've got an extra button. Yeah, meanwhile, I'm elegant, you know.

I don't, I don't think I'm going to ever achieve any kind of androgyny. I'm going to keep dressing like this, like I, you know, Sell deer jerky. Like, my hand should be callous, but they're smooth. The art teacher stuff's all very funny. But you can't do it with every shirt that you have.

Well, I'm going to start wearing all the shirts. All the time. You got to do that one. Mm-hmm. Stop buying razors from the dollar store. Get a barbershop quality shave at home with Harry's Plus. You love the movie Barbershop, right? It's my favorite.

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And a travel cover to protect your blades on the go Just head to harries.com slash C-H-U-B-B-Y After you purchase, I'll ask you where you heard about them Support the show And tell them Jansacock sent you I think I should probably record this one dude I think this hour has lost its luster to me Because it's just like bulletproof

I've been thinking the same thing We should both record Yeah, Brent Gill was like thought one night would well one weekend which would be ambitious but fun yeah so maybe we do that brent my my oldest friend in stand-up old brentkel was like yeah it's kind of crazy he's like you should probably be done with it because it's like so fast and so joke dense yeah you got he's like are you getting off on how good it is and i'm like ah not really i'm just like kind of hiding behind it because it's easier to have a bunch of jokes than to try and create magic

every fucking night. I've been looking through it for clips for you. And it's just like, this is all material. Yeah, it's honestly, I'm being lazy by having a good hour. Yeah. I'm so bad at stand-up. Oh, yeah? I mean, just like the, how it works, like for some reason I got to make it fucking harder

on myself all the time so I don't get bored because of some undiagnosed ADHD that I have. So I don't wind up, you know, having five on five. and getting removed from Applebee's like some friends of art who probably Eric and Brent Gill right now yeah Brent

yeah Brent's next to the couple also a very horny person yes and then yeah the two of us just like yeah I sleep in a big bed with my wife so Thanksgiving though Lund

oh yeah mine It was real nice. It was just Megan and me. She did not want to go to her family Thanksgiving, and so we didn't. And that was cool. We would have seen Jay and Mel and Fay, but Faye's been sick. So, yeah, we watched the dogs, our dogs, and Ron and Terry's dogs at their house and ate charcutory, stinky cheese and salami and crackers. You were kind of cheating on Santa. I was cheating on the pilgrims. No turkey or stuffing. We did have mashed potatoes with green chili, which her mom made the green chili. Dad makes mashed potatoes.

They're both very good. And they're doing a Jay and Mel and Megan and parents' Thanksgiving. They're doing turkey now. And they thought I could eat with them at 3.30. And I was like, nope, time to make the donuts. Are you going to have some turkey tomorrow for us? leftovers i could go home tomorrow and bring some back no i'm staying here tonight i'm going to be cold

i didn't bring my comfy pj pants because i ran out of room in the backpack no these are these are job interview pants oh i did get at the arc uh in arvada i got a pair of god it felt like every every uh pair of dress slacks that i looked at i was like somebody died in those and these They weren't buried in them, obviously, but they died in them, which is even worse. It was a very ambitious grave robber. Well, Arc, they need merch. So sometimes they graver up. Did you put your head in those pants?

Give them a whiff? No, no. You should probably wash them. Guess what, buddy, they are washed, dried, and in the guest bedroom right now. I'll probably wear them tonight and tomorrow. Because these and my fucking share Guevara shirt, I was eating Burger King on the drive home after Baltimore. and usually I've gotten good like I eat while driving

and I'm... I thought you were the best at it. Clean. Yes, I got good at it, but man... Hall of Fame stats. Fucking this Burger King... Eight places on the shirt, three on the pants.

The pants stuff kind of came out. I'm going to have to get a new share of Gavar's shirt because it is washed and dried and it's not... Damn. Not cleared for takeoff. If you don't get that shirt, you're not going to get any pussy at summer camp.

I don't want pussy. And I don't want Dick, I want to be left alone I want to want stranger things You should have to wife swap with Eric Anchor Wife swap Yeah, you have to live as anchor for a week I don't know how old Jill is I think I'm older than Anchor

So it might be fine for him And then weird for me I think Anchor's the same age as me maybe Because he just got his 20 years in the military He said He retired So he probably went to the military at 18 He's like 38

He did. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, he said something funny last night about how he had never been vulnerable or realized how how important it was on stage to be vulnerable. Yeah. And how Sam and I both can do that. And he just didn't do it long enough or whatever.

And I was like, the more I thought about it, I was like, yeah, he really was hard to root for as a random person because he was good looking in shape. military so he's like somewhat tough brave whatever it's super smart his jokes were very smart and and they were good so he was just yeah like where are you supposed to identify with him as also being like just a guy trying to figure shit out and make you laugh he was like yeah and it was like a negative and then it is funny how sometimes we have been able to have this little angle of like not being pitiful, but certainly vulnerable.

Well, no, you don't do it in a self-deprecating way. You do it and like, here are the facts of the situation at hand. Here's the rules of the game we're about to play. Yeah, you explain who you are in a not self-deprecating way or not pity way. I'd say a lot. He had that joke.

A tightrope walk of, we're good at this, but we certainly know that we're not, that we could get bullied by different types of people. well I also am trying to approach with a child's eye which is some more Japanese samurai bullshit the beginner's eye like try and stay excited about something like when you first fell in love with it sure

like you I haven't figured anything out I'm always trying to learn like blah blah blah that kind of shit but yeah Eric had that joke about getting in a philosophical argument with his girlfriend and I don't remember the whole setup but the punchline was well I think you're being a you're being a real fucking con right now yeah Yeah, that's all I remember as well.

K-A-N-T. Yeah, and I told him last night that I minored in philosophy, but he always knew way, like I didn't read about as many different philosophers as he would talk about on stage or mention. So, yeah, he would lose me, and I was like, yeah, I mean, how many people know what you're talking about, so they won't, they can't laugh, and then they feel stupid, so they're not going to like you.

So you had, an adult lunchable with your wife on Thanksgiving. Oh, yeah. I spent time with my family. Smoked a lot of weed. Me? No, she and I

got very high to where I had a little bit of a headache and kept wanting to go to sleep, but she was like, we have to watch at least some of the new season and it was just like, you know, the last episode of season four is like two and a half hours long. I was like, God damn it, I just want to lay down.

That sounds tough. It wasn't tough, but I was brave. Did you watch any of the new ones? We watched the first episode. Nice. And I'm two and a half hours of the last episode of season four and then an hour episode. Spooky scaries to tell in the dark? Yeah, it was like a, and we had to watch the episode before that as well.

So. Foreplay. No, just because that's where we were at before. Yeah. But yeah, no, it was good. It was nice and it was fun. I like that show a lot. Yeah.

Some of them don't look insane in season five, so that's good. I thought maybe they would all look 40. Yeah, just like me. They all look like me. And that's not the case. So that's a little bit of a relief. And it's the last one. I think that's good.

But, oh, so many. So that one episode in season four was two hours, 20 minutes. In season five, half of the episodes, the last four are over two hours each. It's crazy. It's so long. I don't know. There's probably a big old. story hopefully or they drag it out but I don't

I'll bet it's good they didn't want to they have they're trying to run out the script that they had in mind all this time maybe another season two they've turned all these half of the cast into huge stars so they're going to have to spend crazy money to get them back for a six everything's been delayed so it took 10 years to do five seasons I'm pissed about all this yeah why's all this money being put into this thing I've never watched her enjoyed

why don't they make stuff for cool guys like me It's for us. You like train dreams. I love train dreams. One battle after another and the brutalist. That whole movie was an hour and 40 minutes. Yeah, that's better. An episode of this program is two hours and 20 minutes.

It's a lot, yeah. But there are a lot of characters, and they do a good job with almost all of them. All right. Megan did, we did laugh at the idea that, like, Will just turns into nothing for, like, all of season four. He's just like, I'm here, too. He's always, like, crying about something. See the toothless kid? he's the weanest looking one he's got the bull cut he's very this is enough of becker and

lunch show corner Dustin has or the character his real name's like I don't know he's he's Italian it's like an Italian name Matarazo yeah Gaden or Galen I bet it is that he doesn't have collar bones and he doesn't have it he's like his teeth didn't grow correct yeah he's gumbed yeah but it's like because of the no collarbone yeah it's like a syndrome thing. It's weird. Wait, sorry. It's cool. I'd like to suck his dick. I'd like to sit on it. You want to go get Jan Sikok or should I?

I can go get him. Go get him. What time is it? 4.51. Nice. Becker is coming down. Well, we can just... Get the key, Becker. Now, I got some fun stories to tell you about Thanksgiving. No. That I spent with my family. Patreon.

TBD. I was in Thanksgiving. We have six ads. One of them's for the Navy. One of them's sort of ice. one of them's for crystal meth so i would read that ad over an ice ad well we have both really yeah there's no through line well as long as the immigration agents don't get on crystal meth i think there's a fighting chance but they're hopped up on speed out there rock and tina on the lightning rod the nazis were doing speed yeah they didn't win that's true they got yeah they didn't sleep well we also had meth on our side we

had cigarettes we had fighting powder yeah oh snooose yes or snuff so with the new year just around the corner finding time to cook can be tough what'd you say four we have four this week yeah oh i was like why are you getting in on this one right away not at all stump your groove hedge off no we just said goodbye to thanksgiving christmas is lapping at our heels and nipping at our taste buds and you know with all the craziness finding time to cook can be tough that's why we love factor love it they're the best yum yum factor offer a factor offers a wide selection of chef prepped meals for wide people sent straight to your door wide selection you fit through it you will be after factor wide mouth bass wide mouth ass wide ass white ass mouth but yeah you can

have a hot dinner ready to go in just two minutes I love the chutney. I love the turtle soup. I love the sprig of time in bathwater. I love the Jan Succox Hair, casidia. They have... From when he worked at Chevy's.

Oh, yeah. He slept in one for a while, too. Becker likes the legless offerings. I mean, check out factors for a variety of GLP1-friendly meals or enjoy global flavors with new meals inspired by Chinese Thai and Indian cuisine. Eat Smart at factorremeals.com slash chubby. 50 off. And use code Chubby 50 off to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. That's 365 meals for free. The most important M of the D. That's code Chubby 50 off at Factor Meals.com for 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year.

Get delicious, ready to eat meals delivered with Factor. Offer only valid for new Factor customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase. Get it. Madge is there. Madge is at Thanksgiving this year. In Leviers. In Leviers at Uncle Tom and Julie's. Here's the squad. I've gone the last few years.

You were missed. I wanted to go. Aunt Julie is dressed like a geisha. I should be in thirds. You should be in thirds. One third at your Thanksgiving. Just give us your head. Let's bring your head.

Nixon. You're quote so jolly as my aunt said. Oh, yeah. Yes. So Sophie. Mel Mel brings Miss Hazel

his 72 year old grandmother from Memphis Henry and his lady she brings Charlie

Charlie's her father we got dad and Madge the dudman and the Mudge

me of course and it's a hoot and a holler but Charlie is firing on Madge oh yeah

it was nuts this was great dude we talked about it last night we're out back and while

Eric was blowing a guy and getting a blow himself. Uh-huh. Yeah. While he was pulling out to come in a guy. For the experience of it all. Just saying he's experimenting. Anyway. It's cool to be gay.

Love is love. Get your friction addiction on. You know where I stand on the side of liberty and freedom for the love of God, all right? God. So Madge is out there and she's telling us about her daughter. Her daughter is in a, been cast in a Netflix show. That's good news. Sure.

And the writer of the Netflix show is someone named, we'll call him Jupiter, because his name was insane. Yeah. And he says that he's from right there in Lever's, Colorado. Lever's Colorado. So I say, well, you know who's a 26-year-old boy who grew up in Lever's Colorado, just like this 26-year-old Dave Jupiter, Henry Halversstadt? Let's get Henry out here.

So, you know, Henry, get out here, boy. Henry there's this kid Jupiter he's from Louviers he's 26 you know this kid and he's like no and I was like well maybe you didn't he's like well I've lived here my whole life and I knew all the four children

who were my age and none of them were of that name and she's like well maybe he had a different name and he's like what's the last name and she's like Smith and he's like well I can tell you the last name of every house in this town because there's 12 of them and none of them were ever Smith and then Charlie Henry's father-in-law says

yeah this kid's probably one of those psychopaths there's no Netflix show nothing's happening it's a lie he's probably lies to babes you know yeah

he's one of these psychopats that lies to babes out in California there's no Netflix show so I have to run inside to not laugh too hard at dad's girlfriend and I run up to Sophie and I say she's getting rocks

yeah she's just and she has to grin and bear it you know because she doesn't know this guy That's the second thing they've said to each other besides, hi, my name's Charlie. They're the two newbies. Uh-huh. They have to play by the rules.

So I run in to get Sophie. I'm like, Sophie, you've got to come see this. Madge is taking it. Madge is on fire and Charlie's pouring gas. So I run back out there. And on cue, I hear Madge say to my uncle Tom, who went to the Audubon Society. He's been a birdwatcher for his entire life. He says, Madge says, yeah, but I like bird watching too, Tom, you know.

And Charlie says, on cue. You know three birds. Tom knows all the birds. You know like three birds. It's a different thing. You're not into it like Tom. And Sophie almost falls down the stairs. Sophie like slips on the stair.

I have to hold her up. There's no snow. She's not even wasted yet. We've been there a half hour. It's just so funny that her knees buckle. Yeah, it was you on DMT. Got rocked. I haven't been on DMT.

Yeah. So Charlie, shout out Charlie. He's the man. Later on, it's revealed that he was there because he's in a tiff with his wife because he, quote, has no filter. And I was like, that is true. That was on display. Yeah. Miss Hazel gave a rocking 72-year-old black woman from Memphis prayer at the beginning of the meal.

They got everyone stamp in their feet. That was truly a special thing to witness. I'd never been privy to that. Yeah, it was a hoot and a holler. And then after dinner. Maybe the last year or what? Last year there. Why?

Oh, they're moving. Oh. To be closer to Annie and Sam and the baby. Okay. This was a fun phenomenon. Jan Succoq, you'll like this. Friend of the pod, Ryan Jansacock, has joined us in the back. Hello, Jansacock.

After dinner, Jan Sacock, it's like me, my dad, his girlfriend, Sophie Mel, my aunt, my uncle, Henry, and his lady. We're all there. and my aunt finds my grandpa Taylor, her dad finds her passport, his passports, brings him out.

And she's like, yeah, these are my dad's passports. He was really in the sky a lot. Opens up a random passport of the four. It says, oh, here he was in China. And he left on my birthday. And then we go through these passports and just timestamp all the times

he wasn't there for like his four. 40th wedding anniversary. He wasn't there for my mom's graduation from college. He wasn't there for my Aunt Julie's birthday for like 10 years in a row. Oh. And then she says, well, you know, he was tough, but, you know, he made us strong. And then my aunt sits down and starts to tell a story about my mom being brutally awful and cold to her when she was seven years old. And then we just go around the table telling stories of my mom being, you know, the opposite of emotions, just being a fucking cold.

robot in the face of like their children crying. Charlie's snapping at her. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, man. Sounds like she was a cool cat. She was a powerful woman, man. Charlie talks like he's protesting the Vietnam more. He talks like this. He's right.

He's internet. Right. Yeah, man. You don't know birds. You know three birds. You know three birds. Tom knows all the birds. It's a different thing, man. You know three birds, man. Only two of them are real. So we're all laughing at these awful stories of my mom just being incapable of humanity and madge is sitting there like what but she can't say a fucking word about my mom or we'll kill her you know so she has to hear all these awful stories about a woman that we miss very much

and it doesn't compute with like why we could possibly miss her you know right yeah uh-huh just mourn the woman she was a sassy old bro yeah yeah we're putting a lot of lipstick on the the skull that she was sometimes my dad's like yeah you remember that i'm i i remember that i'm i Brought up the story of my dad leaving me at the gas station in Elizabeth and immediately my dad is like Yeah, that was really bad and I was like yeah, but as an adult dude, I realized what the fuck I did to you Because I called home in the five minutes that you forgot about me and told mom that you forgot me And then you came while I was on the phone at the gas station counter and then we had to go home and he was like yeah she was she she she didn't talk to me for three months

whoa and then and then he says well you know it probably wasn't three months and on cue my my aunt and my uncle and me were all like no it was for sure probably three months like yeah uncle tom's like yeah remember when I was 17 I was supposed to give her a ride to work but my grandpa was in a car crash that morning so when I got to pick up your mom I was like hey do you mind driving? Like, I've been crying a lot and I'm really sad. And she was like, you made a promise to a friend. You will drive me to work, Tom. And that was 55 years ago. You know what I mean? Like my mom just has been blasting her loved ones since the beginning of time of mortum. So yeah, shout out to my mom, man. Love her dearly. Shout out to you, the listener, you know. Why don't you come see me in San Diego.

Why don't you come see me in Portland? I just added a show at Coastal Creative in St. Pete December 27th. Come see me in Cincinnati, Columbus, Ohio. And then next year in January, we need shows of strength. I'll be hitting you guys up. Portland Helium, Emerald City Comedy Club.

Winnipeg. No, Edmonton. We're coming back to Edmonton. Winnipeg. Winnipeg? Yeah, not Edmonton. Okay, Winnipeg, yeah. SamTalent.com. Actually, punchuplive. com. Oh, yeah. Punchuplive. Dot 88.

I was born 87. No, 88. I see. 14. Cisbus Brewing, December 26 and 27th, West River Comedy Club in Rapid City, January 3rd and 4th. Oh, Orlando. January 4th or 3rd. I'm doing some punk rock show there with Shaw Smith.

Oh, shit. Yeah. Join the Patreon. Yes. Patreon.com slash chubby behemoth. So many great episodes. Just waiting for you, glistening. Five bucks.

You love it. We're funny. uh becker you know yeah i'll be gone for two weeks going to rome going to italy might have might have a audience with the pope he's in a raffle to see the pope do mass yeah i'm trying to get my mom to shake hands with the pope shake hands with beef shake hands with beef i was i was waiting to say pope floats uh down how long were you waiting the green river as soon as he said okay meeting with the or meeting with the pope uh yeah but there was Those are all cool things you can do.

Like and subscribe. Yeah. Buy my book. Keep hub. Just 11 bucks on Amazon. Don't murder me in Minneapolis, please. Yeah. And if you're going to do that, just do it in Minneapolis.

Do it in San Diego, so we're together. No. Oh. No, no. Goodbye. Bye.