Chubby Behemoth - The Flappening

Episode Date: February 8, 2025

SPONSORS: Tushy - Support the show and get 10% off your 1st bidet order with promo code CHUBBY at https://www.hellotushy.com   Autoblow - Get 15% off your Autoblow order with the code CHUBBY15 at https://www.autoblow.com   BONUS EPISODES: https://www.Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth   This week everyone is at home. Becker got his head cranked. Sam has discovered the real world limitless drug, has 9 wings in the fridge, and introduces us to his friend Otto. Nathan tells us about an angry father, admits to bogarting a child’s PS5, and tells us his plan for when he becomes a mounjaro mutant.   Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   Mutiny Coffee: [e-mail]

I'm on Mexican the main level radio I'm on a Mexican whoa Really radio Who is that I? Think it was blondie It could have been the cherry-pop and daddy's it was like one of those flash in the pan bands, like rush or something. Maybe it was hair belly.

Fine. No, you know who it was? Wall of voodoo. It was Richie Valens. Chubby behemoth. Chubby behemoth. Yeah. Chubby behemoth.

So here we are. That's you on all the clips. That's you at the end of every clip. The Chubby Behemoth Podcast. You know, I don't watch the clips, but I'm glad people are enjoying them. I'm glad that our new guy who's making the clips is posting vertical videos on YouTube. That's for sure helping. Good work, Russ.

Yeah. That is what you're supposed to do. YouTube's for sure helping. Good work, Russ. Yeah. That is what you're supposed to do. YouTube's algorithm loves vertical videos. For shorts it does because so many people watch it on their shit, dude. I don't think he's posting it as a short. I think he is posting it as a video on our main feed. Shorts. And then YouTube comes in and says, hey, what are these groovy cats trying now? Maybe we'll give a fuck about them and pump them to the ears that need them. Oh

Cool. Someone filmed a vertical video on their Motorola razor. All right guys, we'll check back in in 18 months until then get effed Russell I want a Bible Editing suite that's what everything tells us to do he and I haven't conversed about it But that is what everything tells us to do. He and I haven't conversed about it, but that is what everything tells you to do. Becker's on team Russ. Yeah. Let Russ cook. Check in with him Becker. That's good communication.

I haven't talked to him. Says, we're in the kitchen. Jimmy Neutron, Jake Becker. He's cooking. He let him cook. You look like grownup Neutron Jake Becker he's cooking he let him cook look like grown-up neutron for sure Yeah, especially if you look at my office. It's really neutron. He looks just like that guy on the subway. Did you watch that clip? Love that That man's freaking out and he's like doing something for the views, you know, and he gets on his belly

screaming he could also just be he's doing something for the views and he gets on his belly and starts screaming. He could also just be wigging out. I don't know if it was being recorded for social media or if somebody was just like, this guy's lost it. No, he's gunning the camera the whole time and then he drops to his belly while looking directly into the eyes of the camera. Maybe a voyeur was trying to get like a Altman type film of just New York City, you know, people, the sights, the smells. And then that guy was over it because he doesn't want to live in someone else's movie. And he goes like, flops down and starts screaming like a howling slug. That could be it.

And this guy looked just like me, huh? He looks a lot like, yeah, it was pretty good. It's on the Chubb Reddit. I'll have to check that out. Yeah, Becker, why don't you start doing ridiculous outrage pranks? I? Should have filmed myself last week What do you do show black guy magic? No, I apparently got some peripheral vertigo Peripheral vertigo. Yeah, and I had like four days where I was walking around like I was the drunkest I've ever been and It was st was hell. It sucked so bad, dude.

And then they just gave me a bunch of weird drugs and laid me on a table upside down at the hospital and cranked my head for like six minutes. And then we're like, okay, stand up. And it was like 90% better. I'm still a little weird, but it's not like it was. Southern Colorado needs Emily back so bad. What kind of fucking old hack bonesaw man did you go see who was like, Oh, I know it'll fix you. Let's flip you upside down. No, I think that that's like what they do. They gave me like the printout of how to do

those exercises to move the crystals that are in your ear to give you balance. They said, hey, you got crystals in your ears, buddy. We got to flip that. Yeah. And now Legend of Zelda. There's crystals in your ears. Yeah. You have to find them. And now if it happens again, I got to take like a specific anti-nausea motion. Anti-gravity. You have to live upside down.

It's a motion sickness pill that affects the part of your ear where the crystal is. It's like, oh, Becker's sick again. You just go floating by. You're upside down. Your huge dick is flapping into your face. Dude, I ate shit on my walk because a car was coming up behind me and I looked over my shoulder to see what was going on. It felt like the angle of the road had changed, so I stepped in the wrong spot and ate shit. That was pretty funny. I just sat on the ground laughing at myself.

I ran into a lot of walls. So what, you were on the ground and you didn't do the laying on your belly and screaming like the man in the clip? No, I just sat there and laughed. Huh. Because I fell on my- He did a lot of hissing.

Subway guy was hissing. Hissing,ing. Yeah. He was like, I would have, if I would have been on that train, I would have been like, Hey, uh, maybe, maybe on the next train, buddy, why don't you wrap up this performance? Cause I don't want to deal with this shit. It would not have been stoked. If he got on that train and he's like, Hey, y'all ready for showtime? And then he drops to his belly and becomes the hissing cicada.

So, you have, you have vertigo, huh? Yeah, but it's, it's from like the crystal in the inner ear. It's not from any like weird condition. Well, we need to get a fucking traveling party together. We'll need a bard and an orc and probably an elf if we're going to get in there. We have to get the legend of Becker's inner ear crystal. Yeah. You have gout in your ears. Is that what you're telling us?

No, they were explaining it to me. I guess everybody has these little tiny crystals in your inner ear, like past your middle ear and it's like everything. I've never had crystals in there, but I have had white castle and they can like move. There's hall. They can disappear in there. It's like, it looks like a little seashell area and they can move in it. And if they get lodged in the wrong spot where they can't return it. It fucks with your like sense of balance. So they, so their medical treatment was to give you the snow globe treatment. Yeah, it was, it was nuts. Like they gave me the drugs and they were like, okay, you're just

going to sit here for like an hour and a half. We're going to let the drugs take effect. And I thought that was going to be the whole thing. And then a nurse and the doctor came back in and they were like, all right, boys. No, yeah. She was like, get out of bed, lay over here. And then when I like laid down to be comfortable, she was like, no, no, no, slide all the way towards me. So you like your shoulders are hanging off the bed. And I was like, all right. And then she just like grabbed my head and was like, we're gonna put you over here for like 30 seconds. And she'd hold me and she'd be like, all

right, now we're going like this. She just like flipped me around for several minutes and then was like, all right, get on your side and then put me on my side and then did a bunch more. And then was like, okay, stand up. And then looked at me like, is he going to stumble again or did this work? Like it seemed like it was like, I have no idea. This is a technique we have that works sometimes. It's like you were a baby deer. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You were placental. Becker, first of all, great act out. I love seeing the nurse's hands on your head. That was fun. Oh, and her breath stunk. She was like right in my face and it didn't stink. It smelled just like food.

Yeah. I'm sure you were blowing lavender fucking petals on her, old thick jack. But also- You were smoking two cigs while she was breathing in your face. I was like, this is gross. I'd been in the hospital that day for like seven hours, so I didn't smell like cigarettes anymore, but I bet I stunk because I also hadn't had any water or food. You usually reek, yeah.

So did any bit of you, due to what pornography has lied to us about, when you were on that table and she's like, scoot on down to me, big boy, we're going to flip you, did you get pingo at all? No. I was more just like, what's happening? And then she told me, she was like, we're doing these whatever they're called exercises. We're making it up as we go along. If we get the change out of the couch.

They gave me a printout with step-by-step dance moves of like what to do on the edge of my bed Otherwise, I would have kind of thought it was two nurses that were like let's go fuck with this guy There's nothing going on here tonight What are these dance moves Jacob? They're like it's the same thing She was doing with her hands But you like lay all the way back and hang your head off and then you have to go really hard one direction. For a little while. It's kind of like that.

And then once you like get it to the side, that's weird. You have to like return back to normal while trying to hold your head to the position it's in. So some real, uh, Annie, are you okay? Leaning up shit. And they want you to do the cranial Macarena. Yeah. To cure your whoopsie daisies. Yeah.

Dizzy sailor. It was nuts, but I went from feeling like wasted and like extra nauseous and just not with it for like four days to, she did this wild dance with my head on the table and then I stood up and was like, Whoa did this wild dance with my head on the table. And then I stood up and was like, Whoa, this is how'd you get to the appointment? Awesome. My buddy Mike took me. I drove up and it took you an hour and a half to get into the hospital because he kept going and walking into walls and bushes. He like walked with me and I was just like around in a way you could tell security

guards were keeping an eye on me. They were like, we think Ian Abramson's here. Yeah. I looked like I was about to walk up to the counter and be like, fuck you and your fucking bills. It was that energy. I was walking around with just wobbling. Give me my daughter back. Yeah. It looked like you had a bomb vest wrapped to your chest. Yeah.

Did you see this guy that tried to defend his daughter from the cops who were taking him, taking the daughter away and he got blasted? No. Oh yeah. He was posting on Twitter like right up until, yeah, he was armed in his house. He like got into it with his girlfriend, her wife, and she called the cops and was like, he can't, you got to get this, our kid away from this house. He got into it with his girlfriend, her wife, and she called the cops and was like, he can't, you gotta get our kid away from this guy. He's nuts.

And he was like, he filmed himself. He's like, this is for all the unborn kids that got murdered in Michigan this year. He was all fired up. Huh? Michigan, yeah. Was he in Michigan? Where?

Pretty sure. I think he was in Pleasant point I don't fuck yeah, I was gonna say where you live Yeah, thank you for not He was in Hampton Bay And I was worried because like there was this big fan who's usually at my show and he wasn't there tonight, so He did say on Wednesday. Hey, man. Hope I see you on Friday, but I won't if they don't give her back. Yeah.

Yeah. Same guy. Huh? Fuck. Yeah. He lived in pleasure. He was all fired up and he like, he took out a canine unit. So he, his right, his righteous ass was sent by God to kill a dog.

And then he like winged a cop or whatever. And then he got blown away. Well, I'm glad the cops. Okay. Yeah. He couldn't even kill a cop on his way out. Yeah. He's in the K9 unit.

He starts taking his teeth out. Guess what? Today, several women gave a kid some wings and life keeps on slipping into the future. Several Steve Miller band, several people, Nathan. gave a kid some wings and life keeps on slipping into the future. Steve Miller band, several people, Nathan, people with uterine blasted a kid out into, out into hell much like that guy got blown straight to the devil's doorstep. Yeah. Some dude ordered a winky face scrape job.

On the DL. Doctor wrote it on a piece of paper and then slid it across the table to the doctor. The doctor's like, we have to talk about this. This isn't a business deal. The guy takes the paper back, crosses it out, writes a different number. It's like, sir. All right. Okay. Playing hardball. All right.

Fair enough. Dude. I had this. This isn't your first time at the table. I see, sir. Becker, we've heard enough fromball. All right. Fair enough. Dude, I had to- This isn't your first time at the table, I see, sir. Becker, we've heard enough from you. Oh, wait, you had two things. Yeah. I was-

You had a second thing. I had to go there and do all my breathing shit, and the one nurse, we were sitting there. The power went down to the testing facility while we were there, so we had to sit and wait for everything to boot back up. When the lights came back up, you were completely nude. Lasered your clothes off. Yeah, you're like, how did this happen? This keeps happening to me.

I'm kind of dizzy. Want to flip me? The lasers completely obliterate the clothings. We're short staffed, we don't have any clean gowns, so you're going to have to waddle on out of here. Becker's like, I brought my own gown. He's wearing a ball gown. Hey, zip me up.

I know you, I danced with you once upon a dream. Cinderella. Wait, Sleeping Beauty. Fuck. But they had the gown. Yeah. They had me stop all my steroid inhalers and stuff. They've got me on for like a day. That's why your jaw looks less jacked.

Before the tests. When we were in there, she had to pop open this little flat chamber for it instead of the big plastic ones they give everybody. It's like a water bottle. While we were sitting there just killing time, I was like, those things are nice. It'd be cool if they'd give you an option to buy those because you could put them in things and take them with you places instead of having that giant piece of plastic. She was like, oh yeah, probably, and pulled open her phone and then was like, holy shit,

look, these are $222 for a box that's fucking 40. I was like, yeah, that's insane. Never mind. She was like, no. Then just went over to the box and grabbed 12 of them and handed them to me. These are inhalers? They're the chambers for it. I was just saying they're neat to have. We were making a small talk. I wasn't even saying, I need those in my life. That's drug seeking behavior. She fell for it.

She was just like, yeah, fuck these. That's insane that they charge us that for these things. And then at the end of it, when we were getting up to leave, she was like, so I'm not allowed to administer any drugs, but those are all your drugs you have to pay for that are on the table that you had to take during the test. And if like, once I turned my back, they all disappeared, that would be fine. What? See, this is what Elon's trying to fucking correct is shit like this. Oh yeah, my insurance doesn't cover those steroids anymore.

So she saved me like a bunch of money on shit I didn't need and then gave me a ton of shit I needed for free, which was huge. Did you get her number? No, she was like a very old woman. So what? She, you, I mean, tit for tat, stupid. You should have bent her over. You owe her.

She'd have been like, hey, are you dizzy? Because I'm going to flip you. But the worst part is, so I'm sitting in like the weird little chamber they had me do the breathing tests in because it's like- You're in a chamber? Yeah, they like pressurize it. Your life is bizarre. But you have to do these really hard breathing tests where they shut the shutter and then you still have to like try to breathe

Even though there's no way to push out or get in air because they're testing like lung function So and I still have the vertigo they sent me to those people after I was done with my two scheduled tests So I'm done with the test and she's telling me this about the free meds on the table and then she turns her back And I stand up and after doing the breathing tests I'm like blackout drunk motor skills like fucked couldn't move. So then the lady laughing like turns around has to like grab me by the arm like I'm an old lady being walked through the fucking retirement home and then like you out of here put all the shit in my jacket after explicitly being like I can't give these to you But if they disappeared she was like here you were so helpless here I'm even yeah

You can even help yourself Mike had to walk me the rest of the way to the parking garage because I was just a fucking Dizzy bitch and then we might guys really you're Angel and waiting huh? Yeah, he's a homie man. He's your officer and a gentleman Yeah, he wipes you he swipes you flips. Yeah, he hasn't had to wipe me yet, but he's gotten homie man. He takes care of me a lot. He's your officer and a gentleman. Yeah. He wipes you, he swipes you. He flips you. He hasn't had to wipe me yet, but he's gotten me to all my doctor appointments or like anything where they're gonna run tests

where I have to be drugged up. He's always fucking good to be there. He's a really good dude. Lund, I'm surprised you're not so tickled with Becker receiving the medical treatment of flipping him upside down. This is really making me smile. You covered it snowglobe style. That was great. Okay, yeah. They called the witch doctor. He told me what to do. He said, ooh, ee, ooh, ah, ah, ping,

ping, walla walla, ding, ding. This was actually used to cure vanilla ice's vertigo by Dr. Suge Knight. Used to call it the balcony treatment, but now we can do it inside. It turns out. Yeah, it was, it was the weirdest time I've ever had at a hospital. I was getting hooked up. I was a dizzy bitch the whole time. You were in Arkham asylum for a while. You were the calendar man. I'd be clay face. Lund would be, I don't know. Oh dude. It's like craving right now.

Yeah. He wasn't clay face, but I got to, I got to play some of the, the spider man too, when I was at Shelby's, it was everything I wanted it to be. I didn't want to go to bed, but I had to. I wanted to play that bitch all night. It's amazing. And so I'm hanging out with my friend Shelby. We've been friends since high school and her kids had gotten a PS5 for Christmas.

So they've only had it for like a month, right? And I forget that because Spider-Man 2 came out over a year ago or whatever. So once I start playing, I'm like, I'm like, oh man, I'm, I'm not going to give this up. I only have the one night, but after a while I was like, oh shit, they just got this, but I had to give up the paddle. How long were you playing before you sobered up for like a half hour? Cause I didn't die because I'm really good at it.

Cause I played the shit out of the first one. Right. So I'm not dying. Well, you're also just like swinging around probably. You're probably not fighting crime. I'm whipping them. I'm fighting crime. There was Axel Ballard involved.

That's good. You got those wings now? Uh, I mean the, the first, the first one's controls were sick. These are just like slightly better. The graphics slightly bit, but yeah, Sandman is the first the first ones controls were sick these are just like slightly better the graphics slightly bit but yeah Sandman is the first guy you fight and he's like 20 stories tall and it was incredible you played the shit out of it didn't you yeah but I like to forget so I can replay it man talk about replay value yeah yeah yeah I had you're just saying it, man. Yeah, I had to go to bed. I fucking went to bed pretty quick. Okay, Spider-Man, put a pineapple shirt on, you know?

Had a long day. Well I, speaking of wings, gentlemen, I must say that I am an optimized version of your hero, Sam Talent. Oh, yeah. This medicine that you're about to take, Lund, is the limitless drug. I'm seeing ones and zeros right now when I'm looking at the screen. Your neosporin. Becker, you're the one, Lund, you're the zero. But yeah, you need to get on this right now. I, Emmy just went to the roller rink because Mel's in town and he wanted to go roller skating for Black History Month

His quote not mine. So The house is empty right now and I know the code to the safe So I'm gonna take another little jab as soon as we're done here. I'm not gonna tell me Don't do that. You're gonna blow it. No, she's gonna come home. I'm going to be doing chin ups, dude. It's insane. Look at this shirt. Look at this shirt. I've had this shirt forever. Guess what size this shirt is.

Look how much room I have. A large. You're wasting away. This is a 16-month-year-old shirt. This was Guzana's. You're tiny. I'm little. I'm so small.

Here's some things. This medicine makes you say new stuff stuff too, stuff you never said. Here's something I said today when I got back. Oh, I forgot to eat today. It's 10.45 here. I forgot to eat today. That's not good though. You're supposed to eat on it.

Hey, guess what? You know who doesn't eat? Dead people. God. Okay. Think about that. Also, another thing I said the other day on Tuesday, one slice of pizza is fine for me. Did I finish the whole slice? No, I didn't. I couldn't. We ordered eight wings last night, eight for each of us. So 24 total. Guess how many wings I had? Five. Three. Five, Becker.

Five wings. There are nine wings in the fridge and I'm not, that's not all I can think about. I'm not going to show like a clip of me on silent so you guys think that you're talking to me still so I can go eat wings in the kitchen while we do the pod. Dude, Lund, this shit is going to rock your little cock, bud. My cock, it won't be little for long. Dude. I know that's the thing is like, I've lost 35 pounds since Monday.

Yes, I have. Look at my head. Look how skinny my face is. Look, I'm, I'm, this isn't even connected. I lost the skin that was right here. Look at that. I got the puppeteer. So yeah, I lost 35 pounds. For

every 30 pounds that you lose, you get an inch of cock. Bro, I've got a three inch cock right now. I'm here to tell you that that's not true. Yeah, not for you because you're a fucking loser, man. You didn't come back. I came back a little, but you don't continuously keep getting more cock as you lose weight. Well, guess what, Becker? You lost it all. I measured it on the wall today. All right?

So in- Like a toddler? Yeah. So I was like on my back and then we came over and marked it. So- Marking zero, dude. Over the line. So I'm just saying this, Becker, in about 10 days, I'm going to have like a nine inch

cock. I'm going to be 95 pounds. I'm going to be in a wheelbarrow. I'm not going to be allowed. You're going to be in a wheelchair. You can't eat eight wings, you pussy. I'm not going to be allowed shirtless at the beach because I might blow away like a human kite. I'm telling you, man, I'm going to be nothing. I'm a little guy. I'm just a little guy. Emmy's been saying it.

Chelsea's been saying it. Sophie got here and she went, Sam, there's something different about you. And I said, yeah, I lost 35 pounds. Have you been doing like crunches and stuff to start to get ahead in front of the skin? No, stupid. The flapping. I'm taking Manjaro. I don't have to do shit besides take my jab and sit in my shit.

You have to account for the skin wave that's going to come at you like a fucking tsunami. Yeah. I'm going to dye it green and become the two-lane mascot. That's a good joke. I'm going to go to Alabama games and I'm going to be completely red and I'm going to say roll tide and I'm going to slap my belly. It's going to start the wave. It sucks so bad when you pull your pants up and you move skin with it.

Hey man, it'll be better than moving 80 pounds of adipose tissue. Yeah. It feels weirder though. Hey, guess what I've only known the feel of? Uh, I think I just had diarrhea. I'm sorry. That's the feeling that I've had is, Oh no, that fart was really playing with fire. I don't have that anymore. Over the last five days, I've consumed a total of 850 calories. That's it. Yeah, I'm nothing dude. You okay? Oh Yeah, we're Wondering what's going on outside because since we moved in here

There's been like this flashing red light all pretty much every night and it was a running gag I would say oh the cops are here But we would laugh because I thought that it was like the neighbors had some weird Christmas light that flashed red lights. Didn't really care because you know, that's not my problem, but now tonight Megan's like, there's definitely, she went outside because you could tell that there were different lights going flashing outside. She goes out there.

She's like, yeah, there's like an ambulance and maybe a cop car. And it's like, okay. And it's like the same flashing red. It's like, has there been emergency services right outside every night? Are we in a fucking war zone? And we didn't know. It's very confusing. She just texted me to ask me to go see what the fuck's going on out there.

And I don't want to. I'm safe and here. That's progress. I'm protected by God. Yeah. to. I'm safe in here. That's the progress they want. I'm protected by God. Yeah. Yeah, I'm busy. Yeah. Talking to my friends.

So yeah, I don't, now I'm like, is there really been like something going on out there every night, but it's, it might not be right next door. Also, there's that Kit Carson park, which is a fun hangout for people with nothing to lose. So it could be that there's always like some old neighbor that's like, somebody just looked at me. They're at the park. It could be a mobile rave. Rave? Yeah, it could be a drive by phone party.

I go out there, everybody's got headphones on, just riving and humping and gesticulating. You come out, you're holding a fucking cross. Fuck. Oh no, that weird old guy with his parka, he's back. I think he's nude under there. Oh, he is. He's nude enough. Oh no.

At least it all stayed plugged in. He rented that laptop. He's such a clumsy ox. He needs to... Who is here, gunshots? I bet he says, oh good. I hope he says, oh good. Come on.

He will. You know it. Come on. He knows what the people want. Hit us with an oh good. He's gonna go check out the old house. He's gonna go check out the old house. He's gonna go check out the old house. He's gonna go check out the old house. He's gonna go check out the old house. He's gonna go check out the old house. He will. You know it. Come on. He knows what

the people want. Hit us with an oh good. He's gonna go check on something before he comes back to this situation. He's ripping a cross off the wall. I can't even find the cross. It was totally not worth it. I acted like I wasn't plugged in connected to several things. Yeah. I was like, I'll just pop up real quick. Fucking dumbass. I've got my trusty staff right here. This is from the pooter or where, remember I got this when we were at the Creek in Fort Collins. Oh yeah.

You brought that four hours away. Why wouldn't I? It's perfect. He's like Gandalf now. Dude, this London at church arc is insane. Oh, it's going to get fucking nuts, man. Yeah. You're letting your wife go out and deal with gunshots.

Meanwhile, you're in the basement dressed like a shaman. I'm not in the basement. He's upstairs. How many times do I have to tell you, you dumb bitch? I don't listen to you. I'm in the rectory. I think that in the basement upstairs. How many times do I have to tell you, you dumb bitch? I don't listen to you. I'm in the rectory. I think that's the thing. That might be a Catholic thing.

This is a Presbyterian bitch. I love a house that has a visible fire extinguisher. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. It's, oh, I'm sure it's super old. We bought a new one for the basement. That one's probably expired in 94 or whatever.

Yeah. We don't need to worry about up here though. We got down. All our shit is downstairs. Did you have to talk to the mayor about importing a new stick to town? I had to register this in. They had to meet the stick. They had to see me walk with it to make sure it

was actually helpful. I would love to bring it, except any walk that we go on, I'm going to be holding a dog on a leash so I can't also have this or else my hands will, I'll just get punched in the face by whoever comes at me. Why? Before I can, because I'm holding, because both my hands would be occupied. So I'm like wide open to attack. Well, yeah. What you do is you strap it to your back and a stick harness.

Yeah. Talk to the local Leathersmith, trade him a bushel of eggs or, you know, the cream off of your, your milk, and then have him make you a harness for that thing so you can brandish it. So that's at the ready. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I did hold onto this thing cause it's fucking, it floated right to me.

I mean, that's not an accident. I was in that water. I remember. This thing floats up. It could have floated up to anybody. It floated up to me. The stick chose you. Who saved who?

It's like an adopted dog. I remember, dude, that swimming hole was so much fun in Fort Collins. I miss that swimming hole. Yeah, it was a good spot in Fort Collins. I miss that swimming hole. Yeah, that's all I miss None of the people no no one Late night pizza. So yeah, you do have to eat like a certain amount of protein You can't just forget to eat food. You're gonna fuck it all up. Well, so there's another shot that I've been taking Of protein of liquid cocaine. Yeah You're going to fuck it all up. Well, so there's another shot that I've been taking, um, of protein.

Of liquid cocaine. Yeah. I've been doing, I've been micro dosing PCP. That's been helping. No, but yeah, you got to get on this shot, dude. It's nuts. I'm gonna, I think I want to stick to the original plan, which was take it on Mondays so that you have Monday, Tuesday. I gave up my Wednesday bartending shift, so.

Oh no. Buy a hat. I've got hats. I've got five flavors. Hat plug. Of hat. Well, you guys are just going to have to watch me be an asshole in Chicago, huh? Well, no, Becker.

I mean, I still get off watching people eat. It's great. Uh, I love watching a guy chew it up, smile, slug it down. I mean, we went to breakfast today for, at a Yermani restaurant when Sophie and Mel arrived and we had like, I posted a picture of the food. I had seven grains of rice and I was fucking stuffed, dude. Shut up. I'm serious. It rice and I was fucking stuffed, dude. Shut up. I'm serious. It's crazy how little you have to eat.

You had seven grains of rice in your mouth now. Well, I had five. I just, I put two in my mouth and I, so Emmy wouldn't yell at me. Well, luckily my hands are adjustable. So as you lose weight, you can just slide it on down to accommodate your tinier head. I'm going to start wearing a Lund hat on stage. Yeah. slide it on down to accommodate your tinier head. I'm gonna start wearing a Lund hat on stage.

Yeah, that'd be great. But you're already wearing a Lund hat. We'll both rock them. The first one was white on black, this one's black on white. I want the hat, I wanted to say Lund, but reversed like they have for cities. Like they have a Detroit hat where Detroit's backwards. I want to do a Lund hat.

Like backwards or upside down. I don't know if, if this is, uh, the streets aren't last. All right. That was black. This is Navy. Ooh, this is Lund's merch corner. Oh, we got to talk about how he was bit dizzy for a half hour. I should. Yeah, I wish it was half hour. That's Navy. You can go to Air Force and still rock the Navy hat.

Oh, wow. Made by our friend Leslie. She's gonna hopefully make a thousand of these. We're both gonna get rich. What's her cut of the hat? I'm not giving her much, I'll tell you that. How much are you selling the hats for? I think I'm going to do 20 at the live shows, 25 shipped. Okay, and you are very good at shipping stuff to people. Calling this the Derrick Rose. Oh nice, D Rose. What up man? Red, white and black. This is pretty good. We. What up, man? Shytown.

Yep. Red, white, and black. This is pretty good. This is a good one. We'll be in Shytown next weekend. Yeah. I'm going to bring some women. Becker's coming.

Yeah. Well, you know, you can't sell those hats at my shows, you know. Oh, you're Mitch Fatel and I'm Al Goodwin. You're going to block me from selling merch at your show. I'm going to wipe my ass with your wallet. How about that? I'm Al Goodwin. You're going to block me from selling merch at your shop. I'm going to wipe my ass with your wallet. How about that? And I'm going to die. You are because you're not, you're not on Monjaro.

That one's good. That's for all the women who look like you. You a Barbie girl in a Barbie world? I call this the butt, the shit man fart, the pink and black attack. It's white. I was surprised I could get these to fit. It's pink. But the dryer part, the net It's white. I was surprised I could get these to fit. But the trucker part, the netting's white.

Yeah. Huh? Nothing, man. I'm excited. I want to see how many of these shirts we sell out on the road. I want to see how many people want to wear a hat that says your last name. Dude, people want them. Yeah.

I wear them on stage. They're like, I want a little piece of Lund. You know how you can get an even little piece of Lund. You know how you can get an even bigger piece of me? Kill my ass. But if you're a coward and you just want a little taste, if you just want to break off a little piece of my heart, you can have a hat and it's almost like you own me. It's almost like you are God and I'm your slave. Now, were these, do they like mail a check to you or is it COD?

How does this work? Hit me up on Instagram or Facebook. You should be on Insta Ham. And I will work out the deets. One size fits most. I can actually get it on my dome with two, with two, uh, you know, holes, punch, well, what do you call it? I know you got two things back here. Yeah.

Tines that you blast tines. That's not it. That's on a fork. Stupid. You don't need a fork anymore. You're allergic to food now. You know what? I'm not allergic to food, but I am.

Oh, makes you sick. I am over eating. Maybe my next special I'm on stage. I'm 70 pounds. Yeah, I have to have like some kind of like mech suit to hold me up. Like a robo boy. My head's bobbling around. Like I'm upside down.

Like Becker. Yeah. Say it. Skin. I'm upside down like Becker. Yeah. Say it. I'm overeating. Do you guys get overeating? This is like one of the best jokes ever. Yeah, it's great. I like it a lot. Okay. Because Emmy was like, very good, moved along. Hated it. Yeah, hated it. What are you looking at?

Hat prices? Ad read in case. Are you on grail right now? To read an ad read. Okay. I just, I feel like, so you're just going to like smell my hot Italian beef and smile and nod while I def- to decimate the entire place. I'll eat two onion rings.

Okay. And I'll eat two onion rings. Okay. And I'll be very happy. And then, while you're eating your third Italian beef, I'll go to the bathroom and throw those up because food makes me ugly. Yeah. I thought about the fact that you guys were both going to be on the moon, Giaro, because I was going to propose that we all bring sport coats and eat at Gibson's. And then I was like, they're not going to want to do that.

They're all junked up now. Well, look, man, if you want to do like some kind of weird homoerotic dress up steak dinner, I'm not going to tell you no. We're going to have to go get it at two in the afternoon though. Yeah. I knew that. Well, we would have had to do that anyway, cause it's Valentine's Day weekend. Oh yeah. Yeah. Well, hey, we'll tell them we're a throuple and they have to let us sit down or they're hate criminals. Yeah. Well, hey, we'll tell them we're a throuple and they have to let us sit down or they're

hate criminals. Yeah. We don't have to follow your dress code. Now what's Gibsons? Gibsons is an old steakhouse that they have a location by the club. Oh, okay. Sick. Yeah.

I mean, the club is pretty much in O'Hare Airport, so I like that. Nice. Yeah. It's perfect. Now lunch, what else is perfect? Well, our timing is good because we were just talking about how your body is changing and you're taking a miracle drug that may or may not have disastrous consequences. Guess how many zins I've done since I started?

10 a day. No, I've been, this is, I've had one can. I bought a can when I got in. This is, and listen to this. There's plenty in there. I popped one in here because I wanted to be a little loose on the pod, but yeah. I'm like done with all of the trappings of, of deviancy and addiction. I haven't had any zins, I haven't had any water.

It's perfect. You're going to all of a sudden road rage or pick fights or something. No dude, I feel so good. I have this sense of empathy. Have you seen the substance? Have you seen the movie The Substance, Sam? Only parts.

I mean, it was tough to keep watching after I came. But I do think that this is kind of like the substance, but instead of making you a crazy monster, it makes you into the best version of yourself. And that'll last forever. You're on it for four days and you act like you're never going to die. Dude, I took it in the morning and then I went outside and I did a handstand, dude, in the yard. You hovered above the ground.

Yeah, he's floated. A foot and a half. No, but London, I'm very eager to hear your experience with it because it's fucking nuts, dude. Yeah. Well, you know, until that happens. Vector, you should get on it. Lose the last 90.

I've still been eating like a maniac and spending a lot of time on the toilet. And guys, our bowels might be a shit show, but the cleanup doesn't have to be. Oh no. Thank God. Who wrote this copy? The Tushy bidet. The Tushy bidet that you already know we love now comes in two new bidet seats, the Wave and the Oasis.

Man, the Oasis sounds wonderful. Well you think you're sitting on a toilet, but you're actually at a library with the children around you, so you got to be careful. You're actually on a water slide. Man, AI has gone too far. This whole VR situation making me think that when I'm dumping in my house, I'm not, and I'm actually dumping at the bowling alley right on the middle of the floor. Finally.

I'm actually in court. I have a cop's gun in my hand. The Oasis. What's the wave? Do you have to put a do-rag on it every night? Yeah, you have to have your cousin come over and set you up. Hey Tushy, just hose down my ass. All right. Quit putting on airs.

Fucking reverse water fountain. Wipe me. Front and rear wash options. You can clean up all of those hard to reach spots. You know we love Tushy, but days they get in there like swimwear. They flush you out. They make you feel pretty. I haven't had to use the toilet since Tuesday.

That's not how the body works. Haven't one or two, but I've been threeing like a champ. I fucking pinned up feeling it was nuts. Well, it was so funny to get, it was so funny to get the Manjaro right before watching the substance because it was like similar, you know, you open the box, there's the needles, there's the instructions. It was funny. We started it right after that shit came and I put the vial in the fridge. So I was loving it.

And remember you can reuse those needles, Lon. They say throw them away, you don't have to. I've been cleaning them with my Tushy bidet. Installing the Tushy takes about 10 minutes and is so easy that anyone can do it. Even old Vertigo Vin over there. It'd be easy for Becker to do if he was upside down. You could see it really well. Yeah. Get in there. Yeah. You're saving money. You're pulling your ankle. You're saving money.

You're saving toilet paper and you're saving your butt. It's a win all around. You're saving your marriage. You know what they don't mention? Your, your ass is wet. That's kind of fun. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, they leave that part out. That's a big selling part. It's like you're a guy to fucking, you know, you're going to the sprinkler. It's nice. Your butt just took a shower. mm-hmm you got a towel off your pit stink your crack doesn't have to brush your teeth not to she you're not pressing your teeth anymore I don't have to I don't eat I don't eat I don't eat I don't use zines. Yeah.

I could get a job as a Tushy, my mouth's so clean. Are they hiring? Hey, can I be a human bidet? Hey Tushy. Sam Talbot, Chubby Behemoth. I just wanted to ask, could I, could you shrink me down? I'm already losing a bunch of weight. Can you shrink me down and hide me in a toilet? Chuck Berry. Yeah. You have a head camera.

You have a GoPro strapped to your head. Uh, there's still time to get your ass right for life. It's not too late for a limited time. Our listeners get 10% off their first bidet order when you use code chubby at checkout. That's 10% off your first bidet order at hellotushy.com with code chubby. Tushy baby. Love it. Love that tushy product.

We do? Yeah. We're double dipping. Holy shit. I'll, should I read that one? It's no. Yeah. Okay. Do you want to read it? I have it pulled up

But okay read it you're good Well, you can just riff and talk about how you're perfect or whatever Dude, oh, this is what I'm excited for. So this this this applies as well. You're losing weight left and right eventually You're gonna be sucking yourself. You know what? This Valentine's day, give yourself the gift of an amazing blow job. I'm actually, I'm actually, here's a joke that I'm sure is on Twitter. I'm actually getting top surgery. I'm getting a rib removed so I can suck my own dick. Oh hell yeah.

Huh? There you go. Yeah, that's great. All right. Whatever. What's the fucking problem? The auto blow ultra. Oh yeah.

It's the world's best auto blow ultra? Oh, yeah Selling blowjob machine for a reason stupid. There's only one To make a little thing that sucks your dick god forbid you jack off it's like Tesla and Edison There's a crazy Austrian somewhere right now being like but I had it first Edison, there's a crazy Austrian somewhere right now being like, but I had it first. There's like a fucking, there's a Tesla coil behind him. And he's like, gentlemen, welcome to my presentation. Thank you for flying in from all the corners of the earth. Behind this curtain, curtain. There's a device that will change man's trajectory. Igor! Hit the transistor! There's, you know, there's a bunch of sparks are flying and he pulls the curtain back and it's just a device that sucks your dick. I call it the blowjob machine. No, it does not blow. It sucks. But not in the way the youths use it. You see, man has craved ejaculation as long as he's known the word.

But for too long, he has had to employ woman. Or for the more discerning, man. Or for some of our wealthier clients, the child. Well, I have good news, unless you are one of these perverts I allude to. The Otto Blow, invented by me, Otto Dick Suck. Otto Von Dick Suck. Centric inventor. Von Dick suck. All of the childhood bullying has led me to this very moment. It was not easy being a Von Dick suck in post Weimar Germany.

Whoa. What do you got? Well, there's like the window latch and it has like paint shipped off of it. And I swear it kind of looks like Jesus. Oh no. Get back to the blowjob machine. You can't see Jesus while you're reading copy for blowjobs. He's looking at me.

After you use the auto blow, you will see the face of God and you'll never see another one because this thing really cuts out the middle man if that's how you swing With over 500,000 sold Jesus Christ it does things that other toys for men just can't it listens It wants to know about World War II and what's going on in trucks. Oh yeah. It was, it's funny to imagine Otto von Dick suck like appearing in the room. You know, there's like a bolt of lightning that crashes and then he appears and everybody thinks his invention is time travel, but it was just like a magic trick.

It was an illusion. And then he just, it's the Dick sucking machine. They're like, yeah, that's pretty cool too. They're like, uh, look, man, I don't really want to invest in this. And he's like, yes, but hold on. Check the inside of your pants whoa i come indeed you did you come all of you come because of the work of me Otto von Dick suck now dare you put the shoe on your foot who will suck Otto

the shoe on your foot, who will suck Otto? Come forth and suck me. I'm Otto. Shit, man. I'm getting too hot for the poncho. Let's give them a four. Hold on. Okay. Oh yeah.

The autoblow ultra syncs with a free video library that has over 700 videos. So you can actually feel what you're seeing on screen. And some of them have people in them too. It's not all just pumpkin patch hijinks or it's not just no one knows what the watermelon's do. just no one knows what the watermelons do. There's an Oasis video where you think you're getting blown by a hot chick, but it's a hole in a tree trunk. Fuck! You're at a popular park.

God damn it. God damn it. Oh, oh, oh. Shit. Yeah, it's just a trucker. You're just like hitchhiking and you get picked up. Oh. How bad do you want to get to Fresno? Find out with the auto blow.

If you come, I pull over. 800 more miles This is why wide world to or wide world three took so long as pack got one of these in fucking November Yeah, I fell in love. He's been woodshedding. Yeah, he had to save up to buy it a ring Mom I'd like you to meet someone. This is my girlfriend, Otto. Pat, it's really nice of you to make a big thing out of it, but I've been giving your girlfriend a bath for weeks.

Oh, I thought it was self-cleaning. I wanted you to think that, buddy. Oh my God. Well, yeah, Pat could give a personal endorsement. Oh, this is where we're supposed to show off the device, Sam. Oh, shit, I have it upstairs. Okay, here it is, guys. The Auto Blow device.

This bad boy. This thing's got everything you need man yeah nice get in the comments Sam comes dust yeah he does but uh yeah this thing right here this is all you need man and it's got a real nice attachment right here I've been calling it the gork me tube I've been calling it the Gorkme tube. They're going to love this ad read. They... The Glorbometer.

No. So, to the audio listener, thank you for listening audio wise. I held up a vacuum cleaner. Here it is, guys. The Auto Blow AI ultra. And hey, they hooked me up. I've got the clear model. That's what you want.

You want to see how the sausage is made in real time. It sucks the Thetans right out of you. Yeah, it works. You're gonna love this. You'll be hanging out with Tom Cruise any day now. It works with all penis lengths and girths. So. It won't laugh at you and say, insert more penis. You won't say, Hey, did you bring any extra penis?

Bring enough penis for the rest of the class. Get the button out of the machine and insert a human penis. So here you go guys. This is a auto blow unboxing event of the century. So it looks like the thing that collects mucus, uh, in the hospital room, Becker, you were probably attached to one of these during your, one of your whoopsie daisy treatments. Yep. As you can see, I always put it back in the bag after I fuck this thing.

Sorry. After I make love to it. Sorry, after I make love to it. It is. It's sleek, it's sexy, it looks like you could make a protein shake in it. It's very easy to use too. Oh no. It's very easy to use. I just saw the mouth. I just saw the, yeah, the, ah, the mouth the mouth anus here's the beauty of it

it's it's not just a mouth it's a hole yeah so for you romantics out there no this is the thing this is probably good for it's breathing in there. It's a person. Help, get me out of here. In Boston, in Boston, they have that re-employment center. You can, you can choose to be turned into a garbage can or an auto blow. I was tricked by a gypsy. I'm the other half of the ambulance. So yeah, so I don't know about you guys, but when I grew up, my dad ran a small bank in

Kiowa and I have a strange fetish where I've always wanted to put my dick in one of those pneumatic tube devices at the drive through. And this provides that experience for me. It's cool. I'll show you guys how you use it. You just go, no. Yeah, I love it. You didn't have to move it because it moves. Yeah, you don't have to move it. Oh really? You don't have to move it. You just go, no. Yeah. You didn't have to move it because it moves. You don't.

Yeah. You don't have to move it. Oh really? You don't have to move it. Oh, there's an on switch. Fuck. I have been using this thing Amish style. I've been using it like an egg. I've been using it like that's that's an egg. If the egg tanga egg took the limitless drug for a month. That's a transformer. That's a fucking transformer that can blow you. A lot of people don't know that Bruce Banner actually had a tanga egg in his pocket when he got hulkified. So yeah, this is what happened. People always wonder, what's at the end of Omega Red's tentacles?

One of these bad boys. That's why Colossus kept them close. Why don't you guys talk while I try and not try and figure out? It's easy to use. It's intuitive. Well, yeah. You can even sync the device up with VR videos. Basically, whatever type of blowjob you're looking for, the AutoBlow is gonna deliver. Whatever legal type of blowjob, all right? All right, Catholic Cammie? It's all legal in your mind, I guess. Head to autoblow.com and use the code chubby15 to get 15% off your purchase.

That's autoblow.com code chubby15 for 15% off. Oh my God. Suck me beautiful. That thing's, you can go full Stiffler on that thing. USA, They got For American plugs. It's like it's like they live Yeah, it should just say suck Man if this thing looks like it could be fun I think you you put this in your wife and then you take the remote control and you can zap her whenever you want.

There's no wife in this. It's just you and the blow. Oh yeah, yeah. You can fucking cut her loose, man. You don't need to listen to her shit anymore. No more going to the farmer's market. You want to go apple picking? Guess what? I'm going to get fucked by this machine. How's that make you feel? How do you like them apples? Hey, honey, I know it's the I know it's the twins birthday, but I'm going to be in the den fucking the machine. Whatever makes you happy, honey. You know, Dwayne always supported my love for needle point and cross stitch. And I said, Hey, I need to get him a hobby. And the auto blow really

took a load off of me. Literally. Take a load off your chin, bitch. Auto blow. Fuck the machine. Come on. Fuck the machine. I'm not fucking the machine. What am I? Burke Richard's wife. Let's see that. Whoa. Save it for the stage. You psycho. The world's a stage when you're on Manjaro. I feel like if we lose all this weight, we get healthy. We have to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. That's what that means. Yeah. I'm probably going to get really good at climbing. Well, we're going to secrete, you know, a sticky substance. I think we're going to get mutant abilities.

So I would imagine, yeah, we got a climbing, but we don't want to be like night crawler disappear for a couple of seconds. Next thing you know, I'm in the buffet. I didn't pay away, but I can't eat anything because I'm tiny now. Yeah. I'll go into the art museum and steal Priceless art. I mean man. I love you, but you're not gonna be nightcrawler. Oh We know who you're gonna be I'm gonna be small. I've lost weight. I can be whoever I want. You're gonna be very small

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're gonna go full Canadian on us. You're gonna be puck. Yeah, you are alpha flights puck We've covered this now P, I'm Puck now. Puck was a little guy, so you're only going to become more Pucket. You're going to Puck yourself on this monjaro. Oh, be funny if you're, I really hope that it works for you, but it would be very funny if it backfires

and you gain like 70 pounds. That's the best way this can go. I get all bloated. Yeah. You're just retaining water. Your fingernails fall out. You can't itch anymore. You hate it. It's like this substance. Kill me. I fly too close to the sun.

Hands look good. Oh no, they're fucked. Because I because I forgot somehow it's, it's been consuming almost my every thought these fucking hands of mine what to do, but somehow I forgot that using, um, just about any butt wipe can cause them to get like dried out and react gloves in there. You could be a glove guy in your church home. No, I don't want to do that. But I'll ship this thing to you, man. What I am doing now, it's not a PS five.

Yeah. A PS seven is going to have an auto blow component. There's a, there's a, gonna be a PS, PS six and a half when I'm done with it. In about eight months. I've made the switch to a wet paper towel. I'm going to have to do those instead of the wipes. So yeah, I'm on the road to recovery. I'll be, hopefully I'll be nice and fucking intact for Chicago.

I hope so too. I'm doing bar stool, yak Tuesday and Wednesday and then coming to Denver for no specific reason and then flying back on Friday to Chicago. You can't talk about it at one? Becker knows why. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like you've already talked about it.

I've talked about it with you guys, not on the pod though. Let's just say that I'm going to flip Becker upside down and shake him. It will flip me upside down and shake me. I'm excited. Yeah, it'll be fun. But yeah, you can see me in Chicago. That'll be fun. Then Vancouver, and then a real weird run coming up.

St. Louis, Marion, Illinois, and then Indianapolis. I think one of the Indianapolis shows is almost sold out. So get those tickets. Come and see us in Cleveland, Washington, DC. It's going to be a kooky, kooky time. Somebody asked if I would be an indie. I will not. You've employed Patrick to get some more wide world footage or some amount of work done. We want to do a wide world Patreon bonus because he can't figure out what to do for them. It's not like these, our Patreon is bulletproof. We do an episode every week. Maybe every now and then,

you get a music episode from me. It's badass. It's at patreon.com slash chevy behemoth. And I heard honestly, that if you don't this I'm, I'm just getting this through the wire. I heard that if you don't join our Patreon, it means you have no penis. It means you have no penis and you're smooth down there and you're just a pair of balls and it looks like a cat's face. So yeah, you really should probably join that if you don't want your penis to fall off. Yeah. You got to buy an autoblow and you get a penis in order to enjoy the autoblow.

I know. And if you don't have a penis. Autoblow MK Ultra. Oh look, I'm jacking my dick right now. No, don't say that. I'm jacking it. We're wondering why YouTube hasn't smiled upon us. It's a man who's completely nude saying, I'm jacking it.

Also, how am I completely nude? Under there you're nude. We saw when you walked by. No I'm not. Ah, ah, put it away. I'm wearing a shirt. Huh. Now I'm not. Hold on, hold put it away. Wearing a shirt. Huh?

All right. Now I'm not. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Yes. Get the. Do it again.

Let's see it. Don't Jack it to me. I'm not Jacking it. Don't get sucked. I'm having sex. This is, this counts as losing your virginity. I'm having sex. I'm not an incel anymore, mama.

I'm doing it, mom. My girlfriend and I are getting sex. I'm not an incel anymore, mama. I'm doing it, mom. My girlfriend and I are getting married. Patrick, I use your girlfriend to clean the silverware. Mom, stop it. Yeah. Buy your tickets, but sell out Rosemont. Come on. Yeah.

I'll be in old bonus. I'll be in Chicago. I will be in Vancouver. Becker will be in Chicago. I will be in Vancouver. Becker will be in Chicago stumbling around. We're going to have to guide him everywhere he goes. Yeah. Yeah. Hopefully it doesn't happen again on the plane.

Cause I would suck. Whoa. When did you become a pilot? Where am I? Flip me. Flip me. Somebody is, Hey, is anyone a flipper on this plane? Do you mean a doctor? No, no, no. We need a flipper. I'm a dolphin. Nice, hilarious. We saw you, Mr. Dolphin. But no,

we need a man to flip this other man. I gotta go. What just happened? I don't know. You're gonna get tag teamed by the autoblow ultra and the vacuum? No, no, no. I'm gonna use the autoblow and the tushy and see which one is dirtier. Oh no, are you about to have your first bowel movement in days? No, I've been having great bowel movements, man. I got my ear pierced. It's awesome. Okay.

Yeah. I mean, dude, this shirt, literally for toddlers and I'm floating in it. It's not a 2X tall. No. That'd be crazy if you were rocking a big 2X. Well, in all sincerity, this is a 2XLXL not even a tall dude. Whoa. I know. And this is five days. Yeah you have to eat though. Remember to eat some stuff. I don't need to eat. You can be like in the in the Donald Duck cartoons when they're so poor they have to slice one bean.

Mm-hmm. But you can enjoy your bean. I have a few slices, save some for later, put some foil on the bean. I don't need food. I don't need beans. I don't need you guys. I've got Manjaro and the AutoBlow 5000. All right. So fuck off.

Maybe I'll see you. Pimps up, hoes down.