Chubby Behemoth - The Newt Gingrich
Episode Date: June 26, 2025SEE THE BOYS LIVE - https://www.samtallent.com/ Brisbane Tickets for June 28th - https://brisbanepowerhouse.org/events/sam-tallent/ SPONSORS: HIMS - Support the show and start your free online Hims vi...sit today at https://www.hims.com/CHUBBY SISYPHUS BREWING - Tell them Lund sent ya https://www.sisyphusbrewing.com/pages/events PATREON EPISODES: https://www.Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth This week Sam reveals he has beat his weight loss-donation challenge! Nathan tells us the one way he is like a MMA fighter, is just talking about a cool place that he likes, and has decided on his New Zealand wardrobe. Sam tells us his contingency plan if Pat forgets his CPAP, how the SeaDragon got his ass, and thinks it was probably the best picture. I’m putting one up with Tanntor. Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth Mutiny Coffee: mutinyonmainstreet@gmail.com
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I know exactly eight seconds from my rodeo days.
So that was exactly eight seconds right there.
Yeah.
I just imagined having my hand up in the chute, you know, just thinking about all those lights,
all the buckle bunnies gathered around.
Your little thin arm, tattooed thin arm looked like Pete Davidson's in like 2009.
Nice.
Yeah.
I'm incredibly skinny.
You look crazy.
Yeah, I know.
I mean, you could do this too, if you would put down the spoon and pick up
the spike.
I could, but I ate through it. That's the kind of the new, that's the cool thing, I
guess, more than losing weight on Monjaro or Ozempic is to keep eating whatever you
want. And that's like the bad boy. That's like a F you to doctors in
like a cool way.
Yeah, you have an obstinate defiant disorder towards staying alive. I like that.
Passive, passive suicide. The least concerning suicidal ideation in the DSM. I would like
to die. I'm not going to cause myself to die, but I'm not going to do a bunch of
upkeep or prevention or, Hey, I'm just rolling the dice.
I'm rolling the dice too much.
I put two bullets in the, uh, chambers before the Russian roulette.
Cause that's how I get off.
But you're not.
Go ahead, Becker.
I remember when you had big plans for a yard gym at the church. I remember a lot of the iterations.
Nobody said I was going to have a yard gym.
That's cool.
You said you were going to work out in the little yard outside of the gym and ride your
bike and get on Mujaro and get buff and skinny.
Yeah, I remember that too.
I don't remember a prison yard scenario where I have 30 dudes helping me get wrecked.
I remember it was working out maybe the sanctuary.
I think it was you solo because it was your ideation.
So yeah.
Remember you bought that like pop tent that says Lund's house and you were going to put
it over your bench press in your house wreck?
House of Swole.
House of pain.
Yeah.
I remember maybe trying to, yeah, getting buff.
Yes. I don't remember setting up an outdoor gym.
I remember also, I said earlier this year that if I didn't lose 50 pounds, I was going
to donate $10,000 to the American Nazi party.
Well, guess who doesn't have to donate any money?
Me.
So, Lund, it seems like you might want to put your money where your mouth is before
you're signing a check to Big Swat.
Put a needle where my butt is.
Believe it or not, I didn't want to have diarrhea for our big trip, for sure, at least half
of it on the toilet.
Is that why you quit a month ago?
No, I got screwy because I didn't bring it to see you in Europe.
You put the train off course.
I was doing good.
Right, right, right.
No, no, no.
I'm glad that I will take the fall for you because I do believe that you want to get
better.
I'll say it was my fault and that as soon as you get back from Australia, the one that
we all know and admire is going to be glistening and gleaming out in his yard, Jim.
Well, and I lost some weight thanks to that drug.
Did you find it?
I don't think so.
I think I'm still a little bit down.
People keep saying I'm looking slim.
Jordan Dahl said it.
I've told you.
He's not a liar.
I sit next to you in a bed and you're completely nude all the time and you are visibly smaller.
Yeah, but not as much as I should.
So just because the pounds aren't gone doesn't mean the inches haven Yeah, but not as much as I should have lost.
Not as much as I should have lost.
So yeah, you should be way down.
But down is good and up is bad.
Remember that, Becker.
I'm down with down.
I've gained a little bit of weight.
Yeah, well, stop walking 20 miles a day and you would keep some on.
When you said you gained weight, you went like this.
As if you thought that getting slightly taller in the frame would make me think
that you were up eight pounds of spinal weight. I forgot you get it in your,
your vertebra.
It was more that I've been sitting like a dick head and my chest was all
compressed.
Yeah. No, you have choked hump, but we all do.
Yeah. I've got it bad.
Not as bad as Pat.
No, his is permanent.
By the way, if Pat doesn't bring his CPAP to Australia and New Zealand,
he's going in the Indian ocean.
Sweet.
Yeah.
You're going to drown him.
Well, I'm going to put him in there.
That's all I'm saying.
It will be.
You keep him out there for a while.
I'm renting a boat.
We're going to shove him off.
We drive out after an hour and a half of just driving towards Antarctica.
I'm like, Pat, Pat, whoa, it looks like there's that buoy over there.
Is there a Pizza Hut on that buoy?
He's like, oh, that would be good.
There's a loaded bowl out there.
Look at that.
Yeah.
Oh, I love a pipe.
I love glass.
Yeah.
So then as he's leaning over the, over the boat, pants him, push him, drive away.
Uh, yeah.
Well, I mean, he'll, well, I don't know how well he'll be able to breathe after an hour and a half
at sea.
Yeah, on a boat, that'll tire him out. Just sitting there.
The boat. Not that way.
The wind is literally driving air into his mouth. He just has to sit there and filter
feed, like a baleen whale. And he's still like, I need a nap or two Mountain Dews.
I need three to four Mountain Dews or eight and a half hours of sleep.
Oh yeah. Did you read Dave Tease? He's dragging his mattress. That's what we're doing. We're
dragging his mattress, putting it in the living room or putting it in the hallway, whatever.
Out on the street. Yeah. on the street, in the car.
We have a huge van.
Oh, I bought the rugby tickets today.
Oh, shit.
Nice.
Which day?
The 18th?
Oh, the 13th.
Or sorry, the day after my Auckland show.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nice.
Yeah, yeah.
Hell yeah.
So it'll be good.
That'll be fun.
Thank you.
Yeah, that's exciting. The All Blacks.
Oh dude. You know what? No, no. So it's like we couldn't get All Blacks tickets because All
Blacks are the national team of New Zealand. I just learned. So when they go play international
rugby, they send the All Blacks. But in order to be an All Black, you need to be a member of the
two teams we're seeing play. So it's like the feeder system to the all blacks.
I'm sure that's sweet. Also sick.
Yeah, it'll be great, dude. I'm so excited to see you. Am I completely overwhelmed with
anxiety right now? Yes. Did I just have to self soothe in the most carnal way? Yes. Was
I a brute with my front tail moments before the pod?
Moments?
I didn't want to blow it up before we recorded, but I did the same thing.
Freaked out or jacked or both?
No, dude.
I look, the window is still open.
You guys are both on the till.
The tab is still open.
I went from this tab to this tab.
Well, you could go to the other tab and I would imagine, well, we could
probably sit in your glasses.
No, look, I no look i'll switch but
Yeah as long as you play it cool if we won't be able to tell what you're up to
Yeah, no i'm listening to you guys go ahead
Well i want laughing about i wanted to see if you guys read Dave T's Thank You, because he's still buzzing.
No, no.
He is still buzzing after that party.
That's how much of a rager it was.
That's how much he got laid.
Yeah, also he got some of the trifecta, so he is still buzzing for multiple reasons.
He fell nose first onto the secret sauce.
Yeah, someone's allergy medication got my dad high
for 72 hours.
He said he felt like he was in a blender.
What did he say?
I haven't read it.
Is it on the Evite thing?
Yeah.
Which is insane.
Did you see what I said to the Evite?
I don't know.
My RSVP said, sounds old and gay.
Pass.
Jesus.
And then a bunch of old people came up to me me and they're like, I didn't think you were
coming.
And I was like, what?
And they're like, well, we saw your RSVP.
It said you weren't coming.
And I was like, all right, good to see you, Ben Duke.
How are the horses doing?
Well, yeah, you-
Well, both kids live in Wyoming.
That tracks.
I mentioned that you did a good job getting, uh, talking to everybody,
pressing flesh.
He appalled Dave apologized for not spending a fitting amount of time with
each of you throughout the afternoon.
He's got a spreadsheet.
He's like, fuck, I fucked it.
It's a guy.
Yeah.
He had his Apple watch set.
Way too little.
Everyone had eight minutes.
Each lap was a different way too little time on the grand on the grand neices.
Fuck.
Uh, yeah. Yeah, way too little time on the grandk on the grandnep nieces fuck Yeah, he felt like he was in a fucking blender that'd be funny
He says it to everybody at the end
I'm sorry if I didn't talk to you guys enough I felt like I was in a fucking blender for the last four hours. Sorry
Yeah, he was whipped up and screwed for sure. It was great.
It was awesome. You guys did such a good job.
What about, we didn't do shit.
Becker had his purse full of drugs and blowtorches. Every photo of Becker that
was taken, he has a blowtorch in hand.
He was on the move.
Yeah. Mm-hmm. You look like the wolf.
He was spinning around. What about, can we get into yesterday? Your big adventure
yesterday. Is it time? There's eight things we can't talk about, so that's cool.
There's so many different things that we can't discuss.
I mean, I was in the blender all morning, dude. I had to, I had to, you know,
I'm trying to figure out a blender into masturbation joke, but-
Put your dick in a blender.
Your hand was a blender on your dick.
No.
My hand knows what it's doing.
There's no surprises going on.
You know, I'm 38, which means being my hand had been involved since I was about 37 years,
so we kind of know each other's moves.
It's a stocked into Malone situation.
You pureed your own dick.
I did.
I mean, I'd probably be better off in the long run.
Just be done with the whole thing.
No more pining, no more grunting, no more eating.
I'm going the opposite.
I've jacked like, so no porn for almost three weeks, but I've jacked it twice without porn.
This is an interesting, interesting development going on.
Huh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm like an MMA fighter in one way and that is, I don't even know if it was MMA.
You eat a bunch of food.
You blowed up after your fights, but you don't cut.
That's a fighter after.
No, I'm saying in the lead up.
I don't know if it's M.A.
and boxing.
I'll bet it is combat sports.
Uh huh.
Some of them don't.
Jizz.
Leading up to a fight.
So I'm man, I hope nobody tries to kick my ass because they're going to get it.
If that's the main thing.
I gave myself a medical treatment.
I pretty much Epi-Pen myself.
Yeah.
You only do it when your back is up against the wall and there's no
way out. You can't fuck your way out. Yeah. When it's that or, you know, second story
window, I'm doing that. I just like, I get good news and then like, I like, Oh, I spike.
And then my brain's like, well, remember it never works out. And then I'm like, Oh, it's
like, I like, yeah, literally, dude. So I get
like, I get the feeling of the good news. But then right away,
I'm like, lower than when I started. Wait, before go ahead.
Well, before I forget, because I will forget, there's a dude in
town, who just started working at mutiny. He is a server at a restaurant.
Megan and I went and ate there and he was great.
Not too long after, he asked about working at Mutiny and he got hired.
His name is Patrick Blazier and his brother played football with you.
With Megan hiring him, he goes, somehow, I don't know.
She must have said, my husband Nathan or something, or he knows me from being in town.
He says, yeah, to Megan in the last few days.
Yeah, so my brother played football with Sam, and Sam has talked about how big my brother's
cock is on the podcast several times.
I know this because my brother sends me the clips.
Who's this guy?
Is there a blazer?
I mean, there was Greg and there was Drew.
Drew, I recently saw.
I don't remember.
I think that Greg had a cool dick.
You played football with him.
Greg was a hell of a specimen.
Yeah, no, Greg was insane.
He was in a nose tackle, but he weighed 185 pounds.
He could bench press 600 pounds and squat 800 in high school.
He was just insane.
He had a special helmet because he had a huge head.
It was like-
The new Gingrich.
When he was in a four-point stance, he was probably 18 inches off the ground,
and then he could also literally lift a car off the ground.
So yeah, he was amazing, and he was an even better wrestler.
Sadly, he went to war and passed as a result of the war, but he was super funny, great
guy.
And I didn't know they had another brother because they were both adopted but
maybe someone has a different last name.
The only person I've talked about on here who has a huge dick was Dan Starkovich.
Dan Starkovich had a crazy monkey dick and I talked about it on... and by that I mean
like prehensile.
I don't mean like a simian.
It's like because theirs are like thin and they look kind of like... yeah, they look
like one of those worms from nightmares.
That's a monkey's dog.
But no, I mean that he could like, you know, like repel with it.
It was like a grappling hook.
Yeah.
And I talked about it on your mom's house.
And then he called me for the first time in like 12 years.
And he's like, Hey, heard you talked about my cock on that cigar pod.
And I was like, yeah, man.
I mean, maybe I don't remember why.
And he's like, well, because I'm the talk of the office. Sam like, yeah, man. Maybe I don't remember why. He's like, well, because
I'm the talk of the office. Sam Talent, Dan Starkovich. Hell of a pleasure to talk to
you.
Whoa.
Yeah. I don't know. They were both great guys. I saw Drew. He was in the Marines. I think
he's retired. He has a beautiful Asian wife. He's living. It's living, you know, it's the ramifications of a Chinese lifestyle.
So it's awesome. It's awesome to see it all work out. And he was also a big boy.
But he played football with them. All right. I mean, like Greg, Greg was the guy on one
on ones where you were like, oh, I'm going to pretend like a bug. A fucking hornet just
stung me so I don't have to go head-to-head with Greg blazer
Yeah
Because he's gonna make me look like a fool in front of all of the managers
Well, when did he die do you know is it been a while like like I think like 19 or 20 it was it was
There's a very sad situation
He was beloved by everyone who ever met the guy and then you know
War man war is hell All right situation. He was beloved by everyone who ever met the guy and then, you know, war, man. War as hell.
All right.
Literally, I'm not just saying that. He was beloved. Anyway, Patrick, if that's you, bro, shout out to your brothers. I saw Drew recently. He doesn't listen. He will get this clip from his
brother apparently, which might be, like you said, if there's only one. I told Megan, I was like,
he's definitely talked about somebody's hog.
Uh, I don't know if there's one guy many times.
Drew, Drew came to my shows in Hawaii and he has a beautiful bride and he was
wearing the coolest, like huge fat guy shirt.
And I was like, you're living.
And he's like, yeah, things are going well.
I was like, hell yeah, bro.
Uh, well, yeah.
Uh, hopefully he doesn't have a giant hog that's in Megan's face at work a few days a
week or else I'm going to have to step up my game. Like I said, I think they were adopted or it was
like a fraternal twin situation. So maybe they had an older brother, but anyway, I hope he whips
his cock out and humiliates your wife with it.
Jesus.
That's how he quits.
That's how he got hired.
He's like, he's going to have this.
His resume is on his-
And his CV.
Yeah.
He wrote the whole thing on his massive long cock.
The opposite of war, I would say, is Elitch Gardens with your family.
You haven't been there in a while.
I would say not the...
It's not war, but it does look like certain war zones.
It has a little Chechnya feel.
It has like a...
It feels like the warriors are fighting their way there.
Right.
Coney Island, New York City in the 70s is Elitch's now.
I mean, for anyone who says that Denver doesn't have people of color, go to Elitch's.
They're all there.
I'll tell you what, it is popping off at Elitch's.
Everyone says, oh, Denver's a whites only city.
It's like, you know, maybe.
But Elitch's, it is the future that bigots fear.
Go to federal, go to Aurora, which, you know, kind of Denver, but it is because everybody moved to one or both one or the other for the same reasons, I would say.
So count it.
What?
What don't you think?
Like people move, people want to move to Denver, but then they end up in Aurora because it's cheaper.
Right.
Or they, or they want to live in central Colorado because Denver is a nice place or the mountains are
pretty and then you end up in Aurora.
So it's the same shit.
It's not like you get drafted.
And also like where does Aurora start?
Like right past Monaco?
Yeah.
Right?
So like that's still a nice part of town.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Most of the best food is in Aurora or fucking federal.
For sure.
Did you meet Heather, kind of the brassy lady at my dad's party, redhead? She
was partying, she had cups, she was smoking cigs?
I don't think so.
She's married to my cousin James, one of the Padillas, the Mexican side. By the way, did
you see that old Mexican lady, Charlotte, my dad's first cousin?
No.
Well, she looks exactly like my grandma. I should have pointed her out to you guys so
you could have seen what my grandma looked
like.
But anyway, James is an art teacher right here by Mel and Sophie's house at the boy's
home for troubled youth.
He's the art teacher at the prison for kids.
That's pretty sick.
Baby jail.
Yeah, baby jail.
He's in there teaching him how to fingerprint
Finger paint make my fingerprint license plates
Making street signs, but with their own flair stop signs a triangle
That's kind of feeling that yeah, yes, that's cool. Yeah, I went to e-licence with my father I hadn't been there since I was kind of feeling that. Yeah, yeah. That's cool. But yeah, I went to Elish's with my father.
I hadn't been there since I was like... I don't think I went there in high school.
We had season passes when we were kids.
So we went there all the time.
But not since high school?
Forever?
You just didn't care?
I didn't go probably since I was 13 or 14.
Yeah.
I went, I think, when I was pretty new to Denver.
So like 2010 or something.
Dude, it rules. Becker, you go out as a kid?
Yeah, but same thing. I haven't been since I was like maybe freshman year, maybe me and
Geik when we were 14, but we never went when we were driving, which is insane.
Yeah, I know.
You're usually getting laid.
Yeah, getting high.
Yeah.
Cruising for chicks. Yeah. Getting high. Cruising for chicks. Well, and it was like an hour and a half to get there and park and an hour and a half
home.
Right. And when you're a kid, it's a major hassle and-
Yeah.
Yeah. But I mean, it was super easy because it's not a Six Flags property anymore.
Yeah. So they've lost all that Warner Brothers money.
They have no money. Everything's an off-brand. Nothing's named after anything you've heard
of.
Did they repaint the Joker coaster or is it still just green and purple?
No, it's green and purple, but it's called the half pipe.
Okay. Becker's gone. Becker's the Joker.
Becker, wow.
Becker sucked his own dick.
Wait, how'd you get those scars?
Yeah, no, Becker, it's called like the Half Pipe now.
Any ones that were branded have a stupid dumbass name now.
Damn.
It's like Mr. Hippo's Hop House or something, you know?
And it was like Bugs Bunny's Wild Ride.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But the Troika's Wild Ride. Yeah. Yeah. Damn.
But the Troika's still there.
Mind Eraser's still there.
Twister 2's still there.
All the hits.
Jesus, Twister 2 should have been torn down when we were kids.
It's made of wood, bro.
Yeah, and it's not been kept well in a dry climate for a long...
They moved it from the one location to another and didn't change any of the wood really.
No, dude.
They had a bunch of leftover wood.
It's a wooden roller coaster.
A bunch of leftover wood.
They're like, well, it looks fine.
So maybe this was an unnecessary lumber and we can use it elsewhere.
Yeah.
I don't know why they would have done that.
But I mean, the first twister was made of wood and that one was cool.
The Wildcat was wood as well, right?
I believe so.
Remember the Wildcat was like the baby roller coaster that was still cool to ride when you
were like 13 because it wasn't all the way for babies.
I think it might have been like iron rail with like wood shit all around it.
Maybe the structure underneath holding it up was wood But it was more modern than the twister
Why did I of course did not ride any of the roller coasters because I was sidelined for an hour and a half by the
sea dragon
Which is a baby ride? No, that's the worst ride you think so dude those get gnarly
They've always been gnarly. Yeah, I I think that one is
one that is sneaky or was sneaky. And then like when we were growing up and forward, everybody
knows that it's actually gnarly, potentially gnarly. I used to be scared of them and then
got into them when I guess when I got older or something, like I got over it. But I remember
I skipped that motherfucker.
The Sea Dragon is the Viking U-shaped boat that goes like a pendulum up and then swings
back down. So when you're at the up point, the further back you are in the car, the more
air you get, the more like G-force. And of course, me, Sophie, and Mel are in the furthest, most back car.
And that's a lot of meat.
So we're creating even more of a force on that thing.
And yeah, I was screaming.
I was in tears.
When I got off, I was sweating.
I literally, yeah.
And it was like, if we would've sat in the middle,
it wouldn't have been a big deal.
Because you don't get that like, ah!
Yeah, Fuck that.
Yeah.
You know?
So it ruined me.
And I immediately stumble off sweating in tears, green.
I'm the color of lunch shirt.
And I go and I sit on a bench.
You look like an alien.
Like hands, but I look like an alien.
I look like Taishan Prince.
And my fucking head is between my knees.
No. What's Sam Castle? Taishan Prince looks my fucking head is between my knees.
Sam Castle.
Taishan Prince looks like the Cloverfield monster.
No.
Are you thinking of Sam Castle?
Sam Cassell also alien shaped.
Very much alien.
Taishan, yeah, I guess.
Upside down triangle.
Also, Dirk Nowitzki looks like an Aryan.
He looks like one of those aliens.
There's many kinds of aliens.
Read a book.
But anyway, when I look up finally,
because they know to give me distance,
there's two 14 year old Latina Goths
wearing Morrissey hoodies in the shade,
staring at me, smiling, vaping, and I'm like fuck.
So I try to stand up to walk away,
and I'm staggered, so now I kind of collapse
into the booth.
Ever sitting for a minute?
Minute and a half, eyes closed.
Yeah, not enough time.
Well, I thought I didn't want to look like a huge pussy as my 70-year-old father gets
off the Tower of Doom for the second time.
So I'm staggered and then I have to collapse in the booth next to these Latinas and then
I can't get up because I think I'm going to puke and they just sat there watching me giggling in Spanish as I'm like, sweating uric acid and bile. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. So that wrecked me. And the only way I could recalibrate was literally an hour
and a half on the lazy river. I didn't get out of Lazy River for almost two hours.
Did you keep your shirt on?
I have a swim shirt now.
I was pretty sure. I couldn't remember if it was still goofy movie, long sleeve or something
different.
No, swim shirt, extra tough swim shirt, shout out extra tough, great shoes.
So yeah, Sophie said you got sick three times. Did you get rocked elsewhere? Was that the
first big concussion and then got your bell rung another couple of times and just puked
in your mouth or something?
No. I think she was talking about how I was rocked initially and then tried to get up
and then had to sit down again. And then we like walked over to get a turkey leg. And
after the turkey leg, I was also, oh wait, no, I had the turkey leg before I did the
Sea Dragon. Oh no. I got on the Sea Dragon fresh from turkey leg, dipped in nacho cheese with chalula. Yeah. Oh, and like a big old Coca-Cola. So yeah,
I mean, I just, I swallowed an IED. Loaded the cannon. Yeah. Yeah. I was, I was
Fallujah, man. Yeah, it was bad. You could have-
And I got in the Sea Dragon. From the back seat, completely vertical, you
would have blasted everybody in the back of the head with spew. Chalula and turkey.
I would have sprayed everybody. Yeah. And also I would have puked and then I would have blasted everybody in the back of the head with spew. I would have sprayed everybody.
Yeah.
And also I would have puked and then I would have row directly into my puke.
So I would have like spewed at the peak and then, oh!
And then come and gotten it.
Swallow it all.
Take it back in and hit him again.
Yeah.
Yeah, I skipped that bitch.
If I was Mr. Bean, that's how it would have gone.
What about, I remember, I think there was a good one there that was a, not an accordion,
but it was music themed.
Was it a big record player?
Like a jukebox?
Are you thinking of Tiësto's Wild Ride?
I don't know.
It was a pretty cool ride.
It wasn't a coaster, but it did spin as...
You spun in your seat as the whole arm went up and around in a circle.
Yeah.
They had to rebrand it again, so now it's the Marshall Tucker band's freak out spanner.
The say it and spray it express.
Are you talking about the mine shaft, the one where you get against the wall and it
spins?
Okay.
Are you talking about the Troika, which is the spider shaped thing that goes up and as it goes up it also spins you in your car. That sounds right
Yeah, the troika is cool. That's been there since we were kids. I mean spider in Russian
mmm, well, I
That's what I was told they would I could be wrong
rebranded that one since it wasn't a
Disney branded, uh, spider.
But I walked in there and was like slapped with deja vu from 25 years ago.
Cause that's like the first place I ever had fudge.
That's the first place I ever saw a lady's boobs, like IRL.
Um, that was like the first time I was ever in like Denver after dark was like Halloween
nights I think. That's like the first time I remember leaving Denver at night was Elitch's
because my grandpa used to get me and my sister and Joe Hatfield for some reason,
season passes. So we would go down there all the time. My dad had a season pass as well and we
were just haunting Elitch's and then when the fucking waterpark opened, it was
like, you would see just a wild pear anytime you were there in that wave pool. The ultimate
bikini ripper, of course, was the wave pool at Waterworld. That thing just, I mean-
Snatching tops.
If you could keep your top on in there. Oh, dude.
That half pipe at Waterworld.
I saw more boobs standing down the sidewalk from that half pipe.
Very good.
Oh, that was nuts.
That's why, see?
This goes in the win column for Becker.
Yeah.
That's good.
Damn.
Yeah, dude.
That half-
Oh, that was fucked.
That was crazy. And then it's like, where am I going to go be hard?
I'm wearing a tight swimsuit.
What do I do?
I'm wet.
I'm cold.
I have a belly full of dip and dots, but yet here I am.
You go to the dinosaur ride, so you were in the dark.
Oh my God.
And do what?
No, thank you.
This isn't good.
No, thanks.
It's time to not be walking around with a boner.
Yeah. Don't do that.
Well, I got something for you because you...
Hold on.
We're just talking, where do you go when you're hard?
Well, keep that up and I'll read this.
Stop blaming your job, your stress, and your needy girlfriend.
Needy in quotes.
It's time to get your dick fixed and hims ED can help.
I think you just-
Like this, ED hims, then you're like this,
you go, ah!
I think you just-
What's up, Mel?
Mel's here, I'm gonna, we're doing the pod, Mel.
You just fixed the-
We're actually talking about hims.
You just fixed a couple dicks.
You used that to fix your hair, didn't you, bro?
Ladies and gentlemen, this is my brother-in-law, Tramel, here.
He actually used him to fix his fucking hair, and I'm pissed that I didn't keep doing it.
No, no.
It's an effort.
Nothing's overnight, but I'm persistent.
We'll see.
Yeah.
That's a ringing endorsement for him.
Thank you, Mel.
Well, it's his same philosophy when it comes to sports betting is that you don't win it
all in one bet.
You have to fucking put in the work and you start low and you go slow and eventually you're
rich.
But yeah, MZD, I mean, he just walked by.
He's hot as hell. He's feeling himself. He came in holding his cock, I'm pretty sure I mean, he just walked by. He's hot as hell.
He's feeling himself.
He came in holding his cock, I'm pretty sure.
Dude, he's being humble.
I literally have seen his hairline come back and it's all because of hims and I was taking
hims, but then it was one thing I had to do, so I quit doing it.
Yeah, but it's actually worked for him and I'm not pissed at all.
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You're good.
Well, normally you're just really getting in the way, but then I got in your way.
No, it's okay.
I mean, I usually stomp all over the ad read, but I can kind of tell when you're getting
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Get some Hymns, man. Yeah, get your Hymns. Is that the only one we have?
Yeah, that's the only ad read that we have this week is for hymns
dick in a box. You get a new dick in the mail. It's a subscription service.
I forgot what's over here. You get a new yeah, check that out. Read that copy.
There's no way you're still into it. You jacked it. It's not like you're like, Oh,
yeah, I want some more.
It's more like-
In the what?
I was just reading the Wall Street Journal.
I love tabs open over here.
You're checking Ethereum.
Wait, that was the Ballskeet Journal.
Whoops.
Yeah, Elitches.
You guys have any questions about what Elitches is like now versus then?
No, you covered it all.
Becker, did you see the fucking funnel cake cake Mel said it was as good as it looked?
Yeah, that's what I was gonna ask the food looked better than it was when it was run by Six Flags
Um, I don't know if that's true. The pretzel was very dry. They had no mustard for the pretzel forks were hard to come by
But I'll say this dude, so the season pass is 80 bucks, a regular
ticket 70. For that $80, you have pretty much a pool membership right in the heart of Denver.
It's crazy. The lazy river, when you come around one of those bends, you just see all
of downtown. I forget that Elitch's is in the heart of downtown. It's so nice that it's there.
But I can't say the food was better.
I was also, we never ate when I went when I was a kid because like my dad was already
pissed.
He had to spend $20 on gas.
So yeah, we would always bring in turkey, Frito, cheese, and mayonnaise sandwiches.
I remember.
Oh yeah.
Because you know.
That stayed in my head for so long where you can't, it's like a scam for suckers
if you spend more money than the ticket in. My dad would act like, yeah, anything more
and it's like, what are you completely devoid of any logic or sense to want to eat something
cool at the water park? What are you insane? Eat your wet sandwich. We made it four hours ago. It's been hot. There's no ice pack. It's in the
sun. It could have been in the shade, but it wasn't.
Right. Yeah. Also, it's been crushed by the very hot Coca-Cola's that you're also going
to drink and not complain about. Because
it could have been water, but it's your birthday. So yeah, I got you a Coca-Cola. There you go.
Yeah. I mean, dude, also, how insane is it when you're a kid and your parents are like,
no, no, we brought lunch. And it's like, I know, but we didn't bring any push pops.
We didn't bring any slushies. There's all these like, it's 110 degrees.
We didn't get here in time to get an umbrella, so we're literally sitting on the ground against
the wall near the bathrooms because there's a little meager amount of shade. So it's like,
hey dad, can you fork seven so I can not have heat stroke? Would that be cool? Could you
cough up fucking seven bones?
Drink from the water fountain. It's 94 degrees.
No. Dad, it's the ice cream of the future. What are you not understanding? Astronauts
eat this. Don't you want your fat 10-year-old boy to be an astronaut? Don't you want me
to go to space, daddy? Or at least dream of a time that I could go to space? He's like,
my dad's white-knuckling it. Or even when I was a kid, he was probably half cocked, honestly. I think he was probably
driving back sudsy.
Also, the food, what back then it was like, what the fuck am I paying for? Their barbecue
was like Casa Bonita quality. And they had that in chicken tenders. And that was kind
of all they had. And the chicken tenders were like edible.
Some of the chicken tenders were mostly batter. Yeah. Waterlogged.
Because Joe's parents would give them like 30 bucks. Oh, dude, you could ride around on those
things like a raft. I also lucked out yesterday on the lazy river because I randomly found one of
those in the lazy river at Elitch's, they provide you with those ring floaties,
you know, the donut floats. But every now and then they have the attached double ring floaty.
So it is there a scraping coming through Becker? Yeah, it sounds like there's a TV on or something.
No, no, it's this fucking guy outside has been doing He's building the Berlin Wall. It's hard. It's like right outside of the guest room
Yeah, he's out there with a shovel just scraping dirt
Hitting the he's been out there since hitting me. It'll probably come out when I level it. It's barely audible. I just was
Spazzing out and making sure it wasn't well. No, I mean I've been I've been hearing it now for about 12 hours
It's four. Yeah, he's been out there.
But, you know, no one's going to have a flatter patio than Sophie and Mel.
Who's that?
Winnie the Pig.
This is you, Lump.
Looks like Winnie the Pooh and Piglet, too.
That's the child of Winnie and Piglet.
Yeah, this is not canon, but it is.
Little Wiglet.
Slash fiction.
Wiglet, yeah.
Yeah.
They tried to spin off with Wiglet.
Swing and a miss.
A-A-A-A-L.
Tigger was like, that's my thing.
They were like, we can't have Tigger involved at all.
We can't have Tigger and wiggle it.
We're begging for trouble.
Oh man.
Well, you know what I've been thinking about?
Sisyphus brewing.
I don't know.
That's pretty random, but you know, that's what's been on
my mind while you've been talking about roller coasters. Sisyphus Brewing, whether it's their
nationally recognized comedy club or the constantly rotating selection of craft beers, wide selection
of games and pinball machines.
Hold on. Hold on.
What?
What's going on here?
Nothing. I'm just talking about a cool place that I like kind of my elitches. You guys
talking about Sisyphus brewing in Minneapolis, Minnesota. That's right. You know about it.
It's world renowned. I filmed some of waiting for death to claim us there. Well, yeah. And
I'll tell you, tell you what it makes for a spot. That's fun for the whole family. Whether
you're doing, whether you're filming a special or
you just hit a home run in your little league game to get you into the championship. That's
Sisyphus Brewing, located in downtown Minneapolis near the Sculpture Garden. Stop on in, enjoy
a craft beer and tell them Lund sent you.
Wait a minute.
Sisyphus. You're not going to feel like you're rolling a boulder up a hill for the rest of
eternity when you're at Sisyphus Brewing. That's the funny part.
Did you just do an ad read for Sisyphus?
No. I just talked about a cool place that's near and dear to my heart. It's not weird.
Becker?
This is crazy.
Becker, is there an email that I missed?
No, I'm looking really hard.
Don't look really hard. You don't- there's nothing to find.
Well, what I'd like to find is who's getting paid for that ad read.
I'll tell you, it's not you, but the people that will come out to Sisyphus Brewing
are gonna be paid in memorable nights.
What? You're going rogue with independent ad reads?
Well, funny enough, coincidentally and and non sequentially.
Are you booked there? I will be there. You can see me live at Sisyphus Brewing in just a few short months when the leaves have fallen from the
trees and there's a nip in the air. That's when the cold Arctic winds bring old Lund
to town. So yeah, stay tuned. But yeah, I mean-
What do you mean stay tuned? Say the date! You don't have to wait until December 26th and 27th to go down to Sisyphus Brewing
and have a nice time.
They're going to be open.
You're doing Minneapolis at the end of December.
Yeah, that's when people really like to go explore the Midwest is end of December.
You get some presents, you open them, you're filled with joy. And then you go, uh, share that joy by sitting in a, in a brewery
and watching live comedy.
But I mean, all summer long, I mean, you could go and see a great show.
That's for sure.
You don't have to wait six months.
What?
How much, how much did they give you for that?
They gave me the opportunity to entertain the people of Minneapolis in the wake of a
terrible tragedy. They just lost two of their politicians, their political leaders. And
so you got to mourn and move on and laughter is the best medicine, right? After grief counseling.
That's also helpful.
I had a conversation with Clay Dehaun about that up there in Minnesota, what happened.
What did Clay have to say?
He has a different view from 10,000 feet, like you said.
I was like, you know, I was like, me and Clay were like kind of indoctrinated in the same
anarchist teachings when we were kids, you know, living in Ithaca and even before that.
And it was like, you know, some anarchist thinkers said that the assassination of politicians
was the only way to make the government listen. And then you see it IRL and you're like, oh,
four of them in their own homes? Like, I don't know, me and Clay were both like, yeah, it
kind of sucks, huh?
That's bad.
But when you're reading Bakunin and shit like that, when you're a kid, you're like, that's
the only way.
Make them fear you.
And then you're like, oh, God.
Sure.
Rhetoric in action.
Well, I also think there's so many people that don't want that, but my God, how long
are we supposed to wait?
And also out of all the people to take out, two representatives, local Minnesota lawmakers
that nobody's heard of, they're not nationally.
Yeah.
I mean, he was-
But he had a list.
That's lazy as hell.
They lived eight miles away, so he starts there.
It's like, I mean, Luigi fucking went to New
York for a big healthcare CEO who has- Yeah, but fight the war at home.
No, no, I'm saying maybe make a trip out of it.
Think global, act local. Go, don't live in Minneapolis and then kill
people there. Yeah, see ground zero before you do it.
Visit Minneapolis. Yeah, I get it.
From elsewhere. No.
Go to Sisyphus Brewing. There, I read the ad too elsewhere. No, uh, go to Sisyphus brewing there. I read
the ad too. So I would like some of the money. You're not a part of this. Sisyphus. Good.
Yeah, I know. And it's, you're not the only one. You're not the only one with big news.
Hey, also speaking of, oh shit, we haven't even talked about it. Here we go. What other,
what is this? Is there another one?
No.
The other day I was driving around and I was thinking, where can I get an easy, healthy
meal for me and my kids for a reasonable price?
And I passed a Del Taco.
And let me tell you, that Del Taco really sings.
Whether it's date night, you're trying to feed the kids after the big game, or just
a little lun time.
Del Taco.
Del Taco, illegal in Colorado.
They had to train everybody up there.
Like, listen, Colorado Del Tacos, you guys are sucking ass out there.
You need to take a breather.
Why were they getting work?
I mean, I wasn't hitting them super hard, but they needed to regroup.
You were hitting them as hard as anyone was hitting them.
That's for sure.
You kept a couple of lights on in there.
Oh, shout out Hassan in Raton letting me know they got Hello Panda at the Heirloom Market
right there in downtown Raton, New Mexico.
Hello Panda.
You said that in the group chat as if you said, hey, there's a cure for typhus.
There's a lifeline.
It was big news.
Then Becker said, oh cool.
Now we have to schedule some Arby's slash Hello Panda trips to Raton.
And I think I said, you don't have to.
That's not like a thing you have to do.
We do.
We're gonna.
It's the only place to get a Euro down here.
Oh yeah.
But before I forget, again, Sisyphus Brewing, the site of you almost being assassinated,
you would have been in the national spotlight like these reps.
Oh yeah.
I got like a death threat there.
That was also the show in Waiting for Death to Claim Us, available on Amazon Prime, where you see
us driving into Minnesota and we're listening to the radio and it's like, we're not allowed
to have gatherings over 250 people, because it was like March 16th or something of COVID.
I was like, yes, thank God I'm not a larger draw, because we didn't have 250.
Sisyphus doesn't fit 250. Well, they might have to in a few months because I'm building momentum six months out.
Yeah.
It's a great room.
I love those guys.
I love Sam and his partner.
I can't remember her name.
But yeah, SysFist does rule.
And y'all expect half of that money in the escrow account by five o'clock mountain.
What about this?
You had a big plan to go from-
Abnormal behavior.
To record a pod and you didn't do that because everybody got wasted.
I didn't because, well, my sister didn't but Mel and Emmy because here's the thing about
Elitches dude, $80, 80 bucks for the season pass, 18 bucks for the souvenir cup. After that, $3 refills
on your beers all year long, all summer long. So if you get that cup, that's a hundred bucks.
And now you can just go to the best bar in Denver where parking is free, or you can even
ride the bus there and get tanked on $3 cold ones next to the lazy river all
summer.
I mean, look, it doesn't matter how big the family is.
Doesn't matter if they're coming in from out of town.
If you're in Denver and you're looking for wholesome good times, Elitch Gardens right
there in the heart of downtown.
Check them out.
You worked out a deal at the front, at the entrance.
This is just an organic read like yours.
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah, yeah. It's just a normal thing that you say in conversation with your friends
on your podcast. This isn't monetized.
Not everything is, luckily.
Right. But no, so they got kind of thwacked out and then we wouldn't got green chili and
there was no hope to podcast.
It would have been good, I'll bet.
It would have been... No, I don't think it would have because everyone was like, oh my
God, why did we eat all that chili and turkey leg?
In half the tables on Monjaro, so we went to La Loma, dude, if you're ever in Denver,
bro, right there at Wynkoop and 16th.
Right across from the Brown Palace, which is a great place to stay. Not as expensive
as you'd think. Brown Palace. That's 1-800-BRO-WN-P-AL. Brown Pal.
I'm a Warwick guy.
Oh, Warwick's a great option. If you want to be near Cap Hill and uptown, Warwick, right
there at 17th and Grant. Yeah, a lot of parking. right next to the abandoned Wells Fargo.
Yeah, that's gone. But the Warwick stands tall. And I'm two for two when checking in at the Warwick Hotel with an Indian person laughing at my last name.
It crushes.
Oh, yeah. I remember the two times you and I checked in.
They didn't charge me for your service animal fee.
So I like the Warwick.
They also allowed dope smoking on their balconies.
I don't think they do.
I don't think they do.
They say they can, but they don't want you to.
They did a big push after Mason Vert fought it in court. They were like, we can allow
it here. That's one of our draws.
Also, if anyone out there is looking to buy a, if anyone's looking to buy an established neurotropic company in the state of Colorado,
hit me up because we're looking to move a company.
Yeah, yeah.
We want to sell the brand and start making Japanese chocolate.
That's what we want to do.
All right.
That's fine.
But yeah, we did.
We watched Companion instead, but go to La Loma, dude.
La Loma is excellent.
It's the best green chili I've had in Denver since, well, you know, it's different.
The condiment green chili is its own thing, obviously.
As far as a bowl of green chili stew, that really hasn't slapped that hard since fucking
City Grill or Capital Grill, whichever one it is across from the Capitol.
That place closed.
I used to love their green chili.
This is the closest I've had and I'll say what, it's even better than that was.
They make their own tortillas. They make their own flour tortillas in-house.
Bad ass. Has that been there forever? I haven't been there, I don't think.
No, no, no, no. It's where Cajun Cafe used to be, that Cajun restaurant.
It was my grandpa's favorite. It's the only place
that doesn't overcook their grits. That's what my mom's dad used to say. And that's
all he would say for the hour that we had lunch there. He would say that and he would
say, I should never quit smoking. All right, grandpa.
Becker, take that to heart. Are you leaving for Denver today to go to the hospital or
is that tomorrow?
No, I'm leaving at 5.30 in the morning.
You're getting your dick shortened. Is that right?
No, I got to go to Australia without having to buy a second seat.
They want to do a died CT scan to look at what's going on. And then I have to take my
car to the mechanic because I'm getting it fuel injected while we're gone
So that means the mechanics gonna have sex with your car while you're gone
No, it means it won't have a it'll operate on computers
So it'll know how to breathe at altitude in different weathers instead of running like shit the heat like it did for me and one
the other day
Just let Pete Hatfield fuck your car. He'd do it for free
Hey, you inject it with fuel and some other Denver.
He's going to cool inject it.
Shit all day tomorrow.
Yeah, you guys are both busy.
I'm not doing shit the next few days.
After I get a, after I clock out here, I'm fucking off.
Long weekend.
Oh dude, when I'm done here, I have a half hour. I pick up my sister, I go to the airport
and then I will be in Australia in 24 hours from right now. Oh God.
Crazy. Yeah. I guess I'm going to try to see if I can find a smaller bag that makes sense.
Why? Limited luggage space on the van.
Yeah. I mean, I think it's a five, I think it's a 13 passenger van or 12 passenger van. So I think we'll
probably have a little room, but yeah, be conscious when you're packing.
Lund, just bring one diaper. Yeah, yeah. Two bags. No, I mean, we can have two bags. Just
like if every one of us has a huge checked in 50 pound suitcase, that's not going to
work.
That's what I meant is is I have like two sized bags.
Yeah, and also like any, if we can all manage,
cause Emily's not gonna, Emily's bringing a giant suitcase
so she can bring all of her bras.
But we are.
No underwear so she can double up on bras.
Yeah, yeah, she wants to be padded.
But yeah, I don't wanna have to check any bags while we're there. Yeah padded push. That's Pat pat and pushed
You're not checking a bag
I'm not I'm not checking a bag. I only have carry-ons, but we can do check bag
I want to check my I don't like I hate having that roller bag in the head it too, dude
But even though it's three weeks, mine's a little bit one shot at laundry
You guys can do my laundry whenever you want get out there
No, we'll be fine. I mean we only have one outfit for Melbourne. We have to dress like the Simpsons there, but then uh
Everyone can put on their second pair of pants in New Zealand. I'm doing a lot of shorts and hoodies
Yeah, it's gonna be like 30. I think that's pretty insane.odies. Yeah, it's going to be like 30 degrees in New Zealand.
I think that's pretty insane.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll bet it is.
I'll bet you guys all think I'm insane all the way to the bank.
We do.
I mean, after the system is thing, I don't know what's going on.
We're shorts for our long hikes at night to look at stars and 30 degree weather and we
will film it and it'll be fun for everyone.
Yeah, I'm going on a long hike at night.
I'll see you there.
Can't wait.
We are. Yeah, I'll bet we are. I'm going to hike long hike at night. I'll see you there. Can't we are yeah, I'll bet we are
I'm gonna hike for a half hour out and back
No, I think oh
You're right. We should go to the other side of the world and then just lay down after 5 p.m. When it gets dark
Yeah, yeah, we should all just look at Twitter and threads
That's when I play Farkel
At card games.io
Yeah, there's ads but you you know, in exchange for access
to some of your favorite games, whether they be card games, Sudoku puzzles, Yahtzee, obviously
I'm getting all the Yats on.
All the widowers' favorites.
Cardgames.io. Are you still playing Solitaire? They have Solitaire. I moved on from Solitaire
forever ago, but if it still has its claws in you,
they've got it at cardgames.io. It's a website, it's an app, it's great. Get on there, get
your Farkel on. I don't even need Netflix anymore. I just play Farkel.
You're not going to Sisyphus.
Yes, I am.
You're going to freeze to death.
I'll be there.
I'm going to call in some favors in New Zealand.
You're gonna be a human rugby ball.
I'm gonna get you on the pitch.
Hey, Brisbane, get your fucking tickets.
What the hell?
Yeah.
Anymore?
Hold on.
Oh, God. I had like a big vegetable bowl after I took my shot for the week and
it's just sitting in there. Sophie was talking about her turds the other day. And like, I
haven't really talked about it, but I am like pretty constipated most of the time. And I
like mentioned that and she was like, Sam, I
am as well. Mel and Emily were like, enough. Sophie was like, you don't understand the
size of the things that come out. That's what she said. Because it's like, I'm literally
trying to pass a ball peen hammer over here. Oh, it's gnarly, dude. It's so gnarly.
See? Yeah. If my... That's annoying. Because yeah, I'm eating too much. I'm having diarrhea
and it's annoying, but constipation is even dumber and weirder.
Yeah.
So it's lose-lose.
Constipation is nothing because every time I dump, I lose 12 pounds. So twice a week,
I think I'm going to lose 12 pounds, but then twice a month I actually lose 12 pounds.
So it's perfect. I get my hopes up twice and then a third time I'm like,
here we go.
And then 90 minutes later, I'm like,
Emmy, you can unpause the movie.
And she's like, I finished it and started another one.
I'm like, well, do you want your husband to be hot
or do you want him to be regular?
Dude, oh shit, perfect.
Intro reminder.
The other thing that we've been laughing about that we can talk about that fucking Tyrese
Halliburton's girlfriend shares a post.
Oh baby.
God damn it.
This has been such a wonderful season.
I'm so sorry that it ended like this, but man, what a ride.
Just this nice, I don't know how long they've been together.
Tyrese Halliburts girlfriend, what is her fucking name?
It's like Jade, Jade Jones.
I mean, she's beautiful.
She's beautiful.
In her Instagram post to Tyrese, thanking him,
thanking the Pacers for a great season,
she has like 20 pictures of her with Tyrese, of her doing
her thing, whatever. One of the pictures- It's her and Brock Lesnar's daughter.
She wishes. One of the pictures, this woman is beautiful, classically pretty, makeup,
pretty makeup, you know, to the gills. She shares a picture,
like picture 10, you know, in this big post, with the opposite
of what she looks like in every way, like a friend who can't be happy about this picture being shared, not because she's ugly,
but because it's not a great picture of this woman.
And is there a great picture of her that exists though?
That's the issue.
She probably-
That was definitely the best picture.
There's no way-
I hope not.
There's no way.
Tyrese Halliburton's girlfriend is unaware
of the beauty disparity, not even the beauty,
the human to non-human disparity.
The value of two people.
This lady literally looks like a rock biter.
She looks like a Henson creation.
And then you have God's perfect angel next to her.
She has to be aware.
No one is that mean where they're like, okay, I'm putting one up with Tantor.
I'm throwing this up on the grid.
You pointed out that she doesn't have any teeth in the photo. Not only, okay. So not only,
cat mouth, Billy bet.
Not only is Tyrese is, uh, is Jade done up like,
you know, hours of time glowing. The lighting is hitting her.
I think they're at a game, but this friend has like no makeup on,
like gray, must've gone like her dad's in the hospital and then she, her at, I think they're at a game, but this friend has like no makeup on. Like gray skin,
like her dad's in the hospital and then she, Jade invites her to come to the second half of the
Pacers game. She, or her face is made of Wasps nests. That could also be true. She's smiling,
but her top teeth are not showing.
She didn't close her mouth all the way, but she smiled and you can just see top gum and
then like little bits of the top of her teeth.
So it's just awkward.
I think Jade is so busy and getting her brand on.
She's apologizing for shit like this constantly.
Her friends are like, I can't believe you shared that picture.
She's like, oh my God, I'm so sorry.
But she's like, you know, at the gym for the fourth time of the day or, you know, she's
got a photo shoot.
So she's so busy.
She's just like blowing it constantly.
And one of those times is, and there's a post that everybody is seeing because I don't follow
her.
I saw it because-
It's her in Thumper. She looks, hatchet face.
She looks like Thumper from the old,
was that, what was Thumper from?
Bambi.
Yeah, she looks like Thumper.
She doesn't look like Bambi.
Thumper has big rabbit teeth.
She doesn't have teeth, remember?
That's right.
She's a grub. That's true.
She looks like a grub.
He is gray.
She looks like a tremor from the movie Tremors.
She literally looks like she grub. He is gray. She looks like a tremor from the movie Tremors.
She literally looks like she was created in a rush for a high school product.
It makes no sense.
Yeah.
It looks like a make-a-wish.
Yeah.
It's like, why are you guys allowed in the same room?
Yeah.
It's like, how crazy was your glow up that you guys were once like friends or it's her
sister who's sick.
And I mean, I think that the person's probably sick in some way and we're being terrible.
I'm not trying to say, check out, it's funny how gross she is. I'm saying I'm laughing at how
crazy Jade is to have shared that picture. It's not fair. That woman looks, can look a lot more like nicer or healthier and it's just like
alive that she's generally alive yes you yeah you didn't run out of film that wasn't the
last shot on the disposable I'm saying that was the best one though that was for sure
the best one means Jade wasn't trying she look how cute we are look how cute we are she was onto the night one's like oh she likes it i mean it looks like she sleeps in a turtle cage this poor woman
they're on the kids like they're on the look at me they're on the kiss cam and the crowd
shakes her hand losing its mind they're like no kill it oh one check out the Patreon. That's an eight now. Nothing's more organic. Is that what
the face of Sisyphus brewing should be saying about a woman? Oh, I forgot. Also, what's
this fucking lighthouse? Right? How's the dude? Geez. We're there's so much stuff. Hold
on Brisbane. I'm there on Saturday and then Melbourne's coming up.
There's very few tickets for Melbourne, Sydney.
Auckland, second show added.
Come to that.
Perth.
Come to that one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're going to do okay down there.
We'll see you all over New Zealand.
Lund has some condiment related news.
The lighthouse ranch thing.
Yeah.
Last week I went up there to film some stuff.
They were like, I knew that there was going to be a live stream of a refrigerator for Lighthouse Ranch to promote Lighthouse Ranch. Oh, how
long's the live stream? When I show up, I'm like, Hey, is it like 24 hour live stream?
They go, it's seven days. They said it's seven days long. I said, what the fuck? I said,
why is it? And they said Lighthouse wanted it to be 30 days a month long live stream of a refrigerator
With giveaways with prizes with fun with me obviously coming and going something interesting happening now and then
But for some I'm trapped on screen with a unguarded fridge for a month
You sure it was a lighthouse's idea or was that your pitch? Those are my people.
Locked in with the fridge.
Yeah.
No, my people made that happen.
My agent is taking care of me, but, uh, no, I just shot for a day and they're
just going to, they're putting me in there randomly and there's other people involved.
There's like other social media accounts.
You son of a bitch.
What?
I heard you.
Oh, uh, you're breaking up. The shoot
was fine. You know, I did random dumb shit. Oh, I'm getting ready. Put, uh, put ranch
on my face. Like it was foundation. Uh, some stuff was more unhinged than others for sure.
Yeah. Where the fuck is that video? Ooh, I don't know. They didn't use that obviously
Yeah, but we shot a did
Me next to Jade is funny also on the shoot. I'm surprised. I haven't gotten destroyed They're probably deleting comments, but I look like hell
There was no hair and makeup and I looked like shit for a lot of those.
You're like wet and red in there.
I'm red.
You're humping the fridge.
I told Megan I looked red. She's like, you look great. She lied. Yeah, I look red. I'm
obviously huge.
Emi wouldn't lie to me. Megan lies to you?
I think she's just nice. She's pure of heart.
Emi would already have it. It'd be in five group chats. Look how red my husband is.
Look what they did to my boy.
He's red.
Yeah.
No, I was surprised.
Yeah.
They're like, Oh, Oh, I was supposed to do the conference.
Go down to Phoenix and sign some autographs.
That's not happening.
Lighthouse is bleeding money, but they keep, they keep expanding.
They've got different products.
Check them out.
The Caesar's.
Heavy house.
Check out the new and improved Caesar dressing.
Shut up.
It's also funny. I'm a ranch spokesman for five years. I get huge. Everybody's like,
yeah, good call. Keep hiring the guy that you're killing with your product.
Goodbye.