Chubby Behemoth - The Newt Gingrich

Episode Date: June 26, 2025

SEE THE BOYS LIVE - https://www.samtallent.com/ Brisbane Tickets for June 28th - https://brisbanepowerhouse.org/events/sam-tallent/ SPONSORS: HIMS - Support the show and start your free online Hims vi...sit today at https://www.hims.com/CHUBBY SISYPHUS BREWING - Tell them Lund sent ya https://www.sisyphusbrewing.com/pages/events PATREON EPISODES: https://www.Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth This week Sam reveals he has beat his weight loss-donation challenge! Nathan tells us the one way he is like a MMA fighter, is just talking about a cool place that he likes, and has decided on his New Zealand wardrobe. Sam tells us his contingency plan if Pat forgets his CPAP, how the SeaDragon got his ass, and thinks it was probably the best picture. I’m putting one up with Tanntor. Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth Mutiny Coffee: mutinyonmainstreet@gmail.com

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 I know exactly eight seconds from my rodeo days. So that was exactly eight seconds right there. Yeah. I just imagined having my hand up in the chute, you know, just thinking about all those lights, all the buckle bunnies gathered around. Your little thin arm, tattooed thin arm looked like Pete Davidson's in like 2009. Nice. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:21 I'm incredibly skinny. You look crazy. Yeah, I know. I mean, you could do this too, if you would put down the spoon and pick up the spike. I could, but I ate through it. That's the kind of the new, that's the cool thing, I guess, more than losing weight on Monjaro or Ozempic is to keep eating whatever you want. And that's like the bad boy. That's like a F you to doctors in
Starting point is 00:00:46 like a cool way. Yeah, you have an obstinate defiant disorder towards staying alive. I like that. Passive, passive suicide. The least concerning suicidal ideation in the DSM. I would like to die. I'm not going to cause myself to die, but I'm not going to do a bunch of upkeep or prevention or, Hey, I'm just rolling the dice. I'm rolling the dice too much. I put two bullets in the, uh, chambers before the Russian roulette. Cause that's how I get off.
Starting point is 00:01:19 But you're not. Go ahead, Becker. I remember when you had big plans for a yard gym at the church. I remember a lot of the iterations. Nobody said I was going to have a yard gym. That's cool. You said you were going to work out in the little yard outside of the gym and ride your bike and get on Mujaro and get buff and skinny. Yeah, I remember that too.
Starting point is 00:01:40 I don't remember a prison yard scenario where I have 30 dudes helping me get wrecked. I remember it was working out maybe the sanctuary. I think it was you solo because it was your ideation. So yeah. Remember you bought that like pop tent that says Lund's house and you were going to put it over your bench press in your house wreck? House of Swole. House of pain.
Starting point is 00:02:01 Yeah. I remember maybe trying to, yeah, getting buff. Yes. I don't remember setting up an outdoor gym. I remember also, I said earlier this year that if I didn't lose 50 pounds, I was going to donate $10,000 to the American Nazi party. Well, guess who doesn't have to donate any money? Me. So, Lund, it seems like you might want to put your money where your mouth is before
Starting point is 00:02:23 you're signing a check to Big Swat. Put a needle where my butt is. Believe it or not, I didn't want to have diarrhea for our big trip, for sure, at least half of it on the toilet. Is that why you quit a month ago? No, I got screwy because I didn't bring it to see you in Europe. You put the train off course. I was doing good.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Right, right, right. No, no, no. I'm glad that I will take the fall for you because I do believe that you want to get better. I'll say it was my fault and that as soon as you get back from Australia, the one that we all know and admire is going to be glistening and gleaming out in his yard, Jim. Well, and I lost some weight thanks to that drug. Did you find it?
Starting point is 00:03:10 I don't think so. I think I'm still a little bit down. People keep saying I'm looking slim. Jordan Dahl said it. I've told you. He's not a liar. I sit next to you in a bed and you're completely nude all the time and you are visibly smaller. Yeah, but not as much as I should.
Starting point is 00:03:24 So just because the pounds aren't gone doesn't mean the inches haven Yeah, but not as much as I should have lost. Not as much as I should have lost. So yeah, you should be way down. But down is good and up is bad. Remember that, Becker. I'm down with down. I've gained a little bit of weight. Yeah, well, stop walking 20 miles a day and you would keep some on.
Starting point is 00:03:47 When you said you gained weight, you went like this. As if you thought that getting slightly taller in the frame would make me think that you were up eight pounds of spinal weight. I forgot you get it in your, your vertebra. It was more that I've been sitting like a dick head and my chest was all compressed. Yeah. No, you have choked hump, but we all do. Yeah. I've got it bad.
Starting point is 00:04:08 Not as bad as Pat. No, his is permanent. By the way, if Pat doesn't bring his CPAP to Australia and New Zealand, he's going in the Indian ocean. Sweet. Yeah. You're going to drown him. Well, I'm going to put him in there.
Starting point is 00:04:25 That's all I'm saying. It will be. You keep him out there for a while. I'm renting a boat. We're going to shove him off. We drive out after an hour and a half of just driving towards Antarctica. I'm like, Pat, Pat, whoa, it looks like there's that buoy over there. Is there a Pizza Hut on that buoy?
Starting point is 00:04:42 He's like, oh, that would be good. There's a loaded bowl out there. Look at that. Yeah. Oh, I love a pipe. I love glass. Yeah. So then as he's leaning over the, over the boat, pants him, push him, drive away.
Starting point is 00:05:01 Uh, yeah. Well, I mean, he'll, well, I don't know how well he'll be able to breathe after an hour and a half at sea. Yeah, on a boat, that'll tire him out. Just sitting there. The boat. Not that way. The wind is literally driving air into his mouth. He just has to sit there and filter feed, like a baleen whale. And he's still like, I need a nap or two Mountain Dews. I need three to four Mountain Dews or eight and a half hours of sleep.
Starting point is 00:05:34 Oh yeah. Did you read Dave Tease? He's dragging his mattress. That's what we're doing. We're dragging his mattress, putting it in the living room or putting it in the hallway, whatever. Out on the street. Yeah. on the street, in the car. We have a huge van. Oh, I bought the rugby tickets today. Oh, shit. Nice. Which day?
Starting point is 00:05:53 The 18th? Oh, the 13th. Or sorry, the day after my Auckland show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice. Yeah, yeah. Hell yeah. So it'll be good.
Starting point is 00:06:02 That'll be fun. Thank you. Yeah, that's exciting. The All Blacks. Oh dude. You know what? No, no. So it's like we couldn't get All Blacks tickets because All Blacks are the national team of New Zealand. I just learned. So when they go play international rugby, they send the All Blacks. But in order to be an All Black, you need to be a member of the two teams we're seeing play. So it's like the feeder system to the all blacks. I'm sure that's sweet. Also sick.
Starting point is 00:06:27 Yeah, it'll be great, dude. I'm so excited to see you. Am I completely overwhelmed with anxiety right now? Yes. Did I just have to self soothe in the most carnal way? Yes. Was I a brute with my front tail moments before the pod? Moments? I didn't want to blow it up before we recorded, but I did the same thing. Freaked out or jacked or both? No, dude. I look, the window is still open.
Starting point is 00:06:53 You guys are both on the till. The tab is still open. I went from this tab to this tab. Well, you could go to the other tab and I would imagine, well, we could probably sit in your glasses. No, look, I no look i'll switch but Yeah as long as you play it cool if we won't be able to tell what you're up to Yeah, no i'm listening to you guys go ahead
Starting point is 00:07:19 Well i want laughing about i wanted to see if you guys read Dave T's Thank You, because he's still buzzing. No, no. He is still buzzing after that party. That's how much of a rager it was. That's how much he got laid. Yeah, also he got some of the trifecta, so he is still buzzing for multiple reasons. He fell nose first onto the secret sauce. Yeah, someone's allergy medication got my dad high
Starting point is 00:07:46 for 72 hours. He said he felt like he was in a blender. What did he say? I haven't read it. Is it on the Evite thing? Yeah. Which is insane. Did you see what I said to the Evite?
Starting point is 00:07:58 I don't know. My RSVP said, sounds old and gay. Pass. Jesus. And then a bunch of old people came up to me me and they're like, I didn't think you were coming. And I was like, what? And they're like, well, we saw your RSVP.
Starting point is 00:08:10 It said you weren't coming. And I was like, all right, good to see you, Ben Duke. How are the horses doing? Well, yeah, you- Well, both kids live in Wyoming. That tracks. I mentioned that you did a good job getting, uh, talking to everybody, pressing flesh.
Starting point is 00:08:26 He appalled Dave apologized for not spending a fitting amount of time with each of you throughout the afternoon. He's got a spreadsheet. He's like, fuck, I fucked it. It's a guy. Yeah. He had his Apple watch set. Way too little.
Starting point is 00:08:37 Everyone had eight minutes. Each lap was a different way too little time on the grand on the grand neices. Fuck. Uh, yeah. Yeah, way too little time on the grandk on the grandnep nieces fuck Yeah, he felt like he was in a fucking blender that'd be funny He says it to everybody at the end I'm sorry if I didn't talk to you guys enough I felt like I was in a fucking blender for the last four hours. Sorry Yeah, he was whipped up and screwed for sure. It was great. It was awesome. You guys did such a good job.
Starting point is 00:09:08 What about, we didn't do shit. Becker had his purse full of drugs and blowtorches. Every photo of Becker that was taken, he has a blowtorch in hand. He was on the move. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You look like the wolf. He was spinning around. What about, can we get into yesterday? Your big adventure yesterday. Is it time? There's eight things we can't talk about, so that's cool. There's so many different things that we can't discuss.
Starting point is 00:09:36 I mean, I was in the blender all morning, dude. I had to, I had to, you know, I'm trying to figure out a blender into masturbation joke, but- Put your dick in a blender. Your hand was a blender on your dick. No. My hand knows what it's doing. There's no surprises going on. You know, I'm 38, which means being my hand had been involved since I was about 37 years,
Starting point is 00:10:04 so we kind of know each other's moves. It's a stocked into Malone situation. You pureed your own dick. I did. I mean, I'd probably be better off in the long run. Just be done with the whole thing. No more pining, no more grunting, no more eating. I'm going the opposite.
Starting point is 00:10:19 I've jacked like, so no porn for almost three weeks, but I've jacked it twice without porn. This is an interesting, interesting development going on. Huh? Yeah. Yeah. I'm like an MMA fighter in one way and that is, I don't even know if it was MMA. You eat a bunch of food. You blowed up after your fights, but you don't cut.
Starting point is 00:10:43 That's a fighter after. No, I'm saying in the lead up. I don't know if it's M.A. and boxing. I'll bet it is combat sports. Uh huh. Some of them don't. Jizz.
Starting point is 00:10:52 Leading up to a fight. So I'm man, I hope nobody tries to kick my ass because they're going to get it. If that's the main thing. I gave myself a medical treatment. I pretty much Epi-Pen myself. Yeah. You only do it when your back is up against the wall and there's no way out. You can't fuck your way out. Yeah. When it's that or, you know, second story
Starting point is 00:11:12 window, I'm doing that. I just like, I get good news and then like, I like, Oh, I spike. And then my brain's like, well, remember it never works out. And then I'm like, Oh, it's like, I like, yeah, literally, dude. So I get like, I get the feeling of the good news. But then right away, I'm like, lower than when I started. Wait, before go ahead. Well, before I forget, because I will forget, there's a dude in town, who just started working at mutiny. He is a server at a restaurant. Megan and I went and ate there and he was great.
Starting point is 00:11:49 Not too long after, he asked about working at Mutiny and he got hired. His name is Patrick Blazier and his brother played football with you. With Megan hiring him, he goes, somehow, I don't know. She must have said, my husband Nathan or something, or he knows me from being in town. He says, yeah, to Megan in the last few days. Yeah, so my brother played football with Sam, and Sam has talked about how big my brother's cock is on the podcast several times. I know this because my brother sends me the clips.
Starting point is 00:12:29 Who's this guy? Is there a blazer? I mean, there was Greg and there was Drew. Drew, I recently saw. I don't remember. I think that Greg had a cool dick. You played football with him. Greg was a hell of a specimen.
Starting point is 00:12:43 Yeah, no, Greg was insane. He was in a nose tackle, but he weighed 185 pounds. He could bench press 600 pounds and squat 800 in high school. He was just insane. He had a special helmet because he had a huge head. It was like- The new Gingrich. When he was in a four-point stance, he was probably 18 inches off the ground,
Starting point is 00:13:05 and then he could also literally lift a car off the ground. So yeah, he was amazing, and he was an even better wrestler. Sadly, he went to war and passed as a result of the war, but he was super funny, great guy. And I didn't know they had another brother because they were both adopted but maybe someone has a different last name. The only person I've talked about on here who has a huge dick was Dan Starkovich. Dan Starkovich had a crazy monkey dick and I talked about it on... and by that I mean
Starting point is 00:13:36 like prehensile. I don't mean like a simian. It's like because theirs are like thin and they look kind of like... yeah, they look like one of those worms from nightmares. That's a monkey's dog. But no, I mean that he could like, you know, like repel with it. It was like a grappling hook. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:52 And I talked about it on your mom's house. And then he called me for the first time in like 12 years. And he's like, Hey, heard you talked about my cock on that cigar pod. And I was like, yeah, man. I mean, maybe I don't remember why. And he's like, well, because I'm the talk of the office. Sam like, yeah, man. Maybe I don't remember why. He's like, well, because I'm the talk of the office. Sam Talent, Dan Starkovich. Hell of a pleasure to talk to you.
Starting point is 00:14:12 Whoa. Yeah. I don't know. They were both great guys. I saw Drew. He was in the Marines. I think he's retired. He has a beautiful Asian wife. He's living. It's living, you know, it's the ramifications of a Chinese lifestyle. So it's awesome. It's awesome to see it all work out. And he was also a big boy. But he played football with them. All right. I mean, like Greg, Greg was the guy on one on ones where you were like, oh, I'm going to pretend like a bug. A fucking hornet just stung me so I don't have to go head-to-head with Greg blazer Yeah
Starting point is 00:14:47 Because he's gonna make me look like a fool in front of all of the managers Well, when did he die do you know is it been a while like like I think like 19 or 20 it was it was There's a very sad situation He was beloved by everyone who ever met the guy and then you know War man war is hell All right situation. He was beloved by everyone who ever met the guy and then, you know, war, man. War as hell. All right. Literally, I'm not just saying that. He was beloved. Anyway, Patrick, if that's you, bro, shout out to your brothers. I saw Drew recently. He doesn't listen. He will get this clip from his brother apparently, which might be, like you said, if there's only one. I told Megan, I was like,
Starting point is 00:15:22 he's definitely talked about somebody's hog. Uh, I don't know if there's one guy many times. Drew, Drew came to my shows in Hawaii and he has a beautiful bride and he was wearing the coolest, like huge fat guy shirt. And I was like, you're living. And he's like, yeah, things are going well. I was like, hell yeah, bro. Uh, well, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:44 Uh, hopefully he doesn't have a giant hog that's in Megan's face at work a few days a week or else I'm going to have to step up my game. Like I said, I think they were adopted or it was like a fraternal twin situation. So maybe they had an older brother, but anyway, I hope he whips his cock out and humiliates your wife with it. Jesus. That's how he quits. That's how he got hired. He's like, he's going to have this.
Starting point is 00:16:10 His resume is on his- And his CV. Yeah. He wrote the whole thing on his massive long cock. The opposite of war, I would say, is Elitch Gardens with your family. You haven't been there in a while. I would say not the... It's not war, but it does look like certain war zones.
Starting point is 00:16:29 It has a little Chechnya feel. It has like a... It feels like the warriors are fighting their way there. Right. Coney Island, New York City in the 70s is Elitch's now. I mean, for anyone who says that Denver doesn't have people of color, go to Elitch's. They're all there. I'll tell you what, it is popping off at Elitch's.
Starting point is 00:16:51 Everyone says, oh, Denver's a whites only city. It's like, you know, maybe. But Elitch's, it is the future that bigots fear. Go to federal, go to Aurora, which, you know, kind of Denver, but it is because everybody moved to one or both one or the other for the same reasons, I would say. So count it. What? What don't you think? Like people move, people want to move to Denver, but then they end up in Aurora because it's cheaper.
Starting point is 00:17:19 Right. Or they, or they want to live in central Colorado because Denver is a nice place or the mountains are pretty and then you end up in Aurora. So it's the same shit. It's not like you get drafted. And also like where does Aurora start? Like right past Monaco? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:33 Right? So like that's still a nice part of town. Yeah. Yeah. Most of the best food is in Aurora or fucking federal. For sure. Did you meet Heather, kind of the brassy lady at my dad's party, redhead? She was partying, she had cups, she was smoking cigs?
Starting point is 00:17:50 I don't think so. She's married to my cousin James, one of the Padillas, the Mexican side. By the way, did you see that old Mexican lady, Charlotte, my dad's first cousin? No. Well, she looks exactly like my grandma. I should have pointed her out to you guys so you could have seen what my grandma looked like. But anyway, James is an art teacher right here by Mel and Sophie's house at the boy's
Starting point is 00:18:12 home for troubled youth. He's the art teacher at the prison for kids. That's pretty sick. Baby jail. Yeah, baby jail. He's in there teaching him how to fingerprint Finger paint make my fingerprint license plates Making street signs, but with their own flair stop signs a triangle
Starting point is 00:18:44 That's kind of feeling that yeah, yes, that's cool. Yeah, I went to e-licence with my father I hadn't been there since I was kind of feeling that. Yeah, yeah. That's cool. But yeah, I went to Elish's with my father. I hadn't been there since I was like... I don't think I went there in high school. We had season passes when we were kids. So we went there all the time. But not since high school? Forever? You just didn't care? I didn't go probably since I was 13 or 14.
Starting point is 00:19:00 Yeah. I went, I think, when I was pretty new to Denver. So like 2010 or something. Dude, it rules. Becker, you go out as a kid? Yeah, but same thing. I haven't been since I was like maybe freshman year, maybe me and Geik when we were 14, but we never went when we were driving, which is insane. Yeah, I know. You're usually getting laid.
Starting point is 00:19:22 Yeah, getting high. Yeah. Cruising for chicks. Yeah. Getting high. Cruising for chicks. Well, and it was like an hour and a half to get there and park and an hour and a half home. Right. And when you're a kid, it's a major hassle and- Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, it was super easy because it's not a Six Flags property anymore. Yeah. So they've lost all that Warner Brothers money.
Starting point is 00:19:43 They have no money. Everything's an off-brand. Nothing's named after anything you've heard of. Did they repaint the Joker coaster or is it still just green and purple? No, it's green and purple, but it's called the half pipe. Okay. Becker's gone. Becker's the Joker. Becker, wow. Becker sucked his own dick. Wait, how'd you get those scars?
Starting point is 00:20:06 Yeah, no, Becker, it's called like the Half Pipe now. Any ones that were branded have a stupid dumbass name now. Damn. It's like Mr. Hippo's Hop House or something, you know? And it was like Bugs Bunny's Wild Ride. Yeah. Yeah. But the Troika's Wild Ride. Yeah. Yeah. Damn.
Starting point is 00:20:25 But the Troika's still there. Mind Eraser's still there. Twister 2's still there. All the hits. Jesus, Twister 2 should have been torn down when we were kids. It's made of wood, bro. Yeah, and it's not been kept well in a dry climate for a long... They moved it from the one location to another and didn't change any of the wood really.
Starting point is 00:20:46 No, dude. They had a bunch of leftover wood. It's a wooden roller coaster. A bunch of leftover wood. They're like, well, it looks fine. So maybe this was an unnecessary lumber and we can use it elsewhere. Yeah. I don't know why they would have done that.
Starting point is 00:21:03 But I mean, the first twister was made of wood and that one was cool. The Wildcat was wood as well, right? I believe so. Remember the Wildcat was like the baby roller coaster that was still cool to ride when you were like 13 because it wasn't all the way for babies. I think it might have been like iron rail with like wood shit all around it. Maybe the structure underneath holding it up was wood But it was more modern than the twister Why did I of course did not ride any of the roller coasters because I was sidelined for an hour and a half by the
Starting point is 00:21:32 sea dragon Which is a baby ride? No, that's the worst ride you think so dude those get gnarly They've always been gnarly. Yeah, I I think that one is one that is sneaky or was sneaky. And then like when we were growing up and forward, everybody knows that it's actually gnarly, potentially gnarly. I used to be scared of them and then got into them when I guess when I got older or something, like I got over it. But I remember I skipped that motherfucker. The Sea Dragon is the Viking U-shaped boat that goes like a pendulum up and then swings
Starting point is 00:22:12 back down. So when you're at the up point, the further back you are in the car, the more air you get, the more like G-force. And of course, me, Sophie, and Mel are in the furthest, most back car. And that's a lot of meat. So we're creating even more of a force on that thing. And yeah, I was screaming. I was in tears. When I got off, I was sweating. I literally, yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:39 And it was like, if we would've sat in the middle, it wouldn't have been a big deal. Because you don't get that like, ah! Yeah, Fuck that. Yeah. You know? So it ruined me. And I immediately stumble off sweating in tears, green.
Starting point is 00:22:53 I'm the color of lunch shirt. And I go and I sit on a bench. You look like an alien. Like hands, but I look like an alien. I look like Taishan Prince. And my fucking head is between my knees. No. What's Sam Castle? Taishan Prince looks my fucking head is between my knees. Sam Castle.
Starting point is 00:23:06 Taishan Prince looks like the Cloverfield monster. No. Are you thinking of Sam Castle? Sam Cassell also alien shaped. Very much alien. Taishan, yeah, I guess. Upside down triangle. Also, Dirk Nowitzki looks like an Aryan.
Starting point is 00:23:19 He looks like one of those aliens. There's many kinds of aliens. Read a book. But anyway, when I look up finally, because they know to give me distance, there's two 14 year old Latina Goths wearing Morrissey hoodies in the shade, staring at me, smiling, vaping, and I'm like fuck.
Starting point is 00:23:36 So I try to stand up to walk away, and I'm staggered, so now I kind of collapse into the booth. Ever sitting for a minute? Minute and a half, eyes closed. Yeah, not enough time. Well, I thought I didn't want to look like a huge pussy as my 70-year-old father gets off the Tower of Doom for the second time.
Starting point is 00:23:55 So I'm staggered and then I have to collapse in the booth next to these Latinas and then I can't get up because I think I'm going to puke and they just sat there watching me giggling in Spanish as I'm like, sweating uric acid and bile. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that wrecked me. And the only way I could recalibrate was literally an hour and a half on the lazy river. I didn't get out of Lazy River for almost two hours. Did you keep your shirt on? I have a swim shirt now. I was pretty sure. I couldn't remember if it was still goofy movie, long sleeve or something different.
Starting point is 00:24:37 No, swim shirt, extra tough swim shirt, shout out extra tough, great shoes. So yeah, Sophie said you got sick three times. Did you get rocked elsewhere? Was that the first big concussion and then got your bell rung another couple of times and just puked in your mouth or something? No. I think she was talking about how I was rocked initially and then tried to get up and then had to sit down again. And then we like walked over to get a turkey leg. And after the turkey leg, I was also, oh wait, no, I had the turkey leg before I did the Sea Dragon. Oh no. I got on the Sea Dragon fresh from turkey leg, dipped in nacho cheese with chalula. Yeah. Oh, and like a big old Coca-Cola. So yeah,
Starting point is 00:25:28 I mean, I just, I swallowed an IED. Loaded the cannon. Yeah. Yeah. I was, I was Fallujah, man. Yeah, it was bad. You could have- And I got in the Sea Dragon. From the back seat, completely vertical, you would have blasted everybody in the back of the head with spew. Chalula and turkey. I would have sprayed everybody. Yeah. And also I would have puked and then I would have blasted everybody in the back of the head with spew. I would have sprayed everybody. Yeah. And also I would have puked and then I would have row directly into my puke. So I would have like spewed at the peak and then, oh!
Starting point is 00:25:54 And then come and gotten it. Swallow it all. Take it back in and hit him again. Yeah. Yeah, I skipped that bitch. If I was Mr. Bean, that's how it would have gone. What about, I remember, I think there was a good one there that was a, not an accordion, but it was music themed.
Starting point is 00:26:13 Was it a big record player? Like a jukebox? Are you thinking of Tiësto's Wild Ride? I don't know. It was a pretty cool ride. It wasn't a coaster, but it did spin as... You spun in your seat as the whole arm went up and around in a circle. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:31 They had to rebrand it again, so now it's the Marshall Tucker band's freak out spanner. The say it and spray it express. Are you talking about the mine shaft, the one where you get against the wall and it spins? Okay. Are you talking about the Troika, which is the spider shaped thing that goes up and as it goes up it also spins you in your car. That sounds right Yeah, the troika is cool. That's been there since we were kids. I mean spider in Russian mmm, well, I
Starting point is 00:26:58 That's what I was told they would I could be wrong rebranded that one since it wasn't a Disney branded, uh, spider. But I walked in there and was like slapped with deja vu from 25 years ago. Cause that's like the first place I ever had fudge. That's the first place I ever saw a lady's boobs, like IRL. Um, that was like the first time I was ever in like Denver after dark was like Halloween nights I think. That's like the first time I remember leaving Denver at night was Elitch's
Starting point is 00:27:33 because my grandpa used to get me and my sister and Joe Hatfield for some reason, season passes. So we would go down there all the time. My dad had a season pass as well and we were just haunting Elitch's and then when the fucking waterpark opened, it was like, you would see just a wild pear anytime you were there in that wave pool. The ultimate bikini ripper, of course, was the wave pool at Waterworld. That thing just, I mean- Snatching tops. If you could keep your top on in there. Oh, dude. That half pipe at Waterworld.
Starting point is 00:28:07 I saw more boobs standing down the sidewalk from that half pipe. Very good. Oh, that was nuts. That's why, see? This goes in the win column for Becker. Yeah. That's good. Damn.
Starting point is 00:28:21 Yeah, dude. That half- Oh, that was fucked. That was crazy. And then it's like, where am I going to go be hard? I'm wearing a tight swimsuit. What do I do? I'm wet. I'm cold.
Starting point is 00:28:31 I have a belly full of dip and dots, but yet here I am. You go to the dinosaur ride, so you were in the dark. Oh my God. And do what? No, thank you. This isn't good. No, thanks. It's time to not be walking around with a boner.
Starting point is 00:28:46 Yeah. Don't do that. Well, I got something for you because you... Hold on. We're just talking, where do you go when you're hard? Well, keep that up and I'll read this. Stop blaming your job, your stress, and your needy girlfriend. Needy in quotes. It's time to get your dick fixed and hims ED can help.
Starting point is 00:29:07 I think you just- Like this, ED hims, then you're like this, you go, ah! I think you just- What's up, Mel? Mel's here, I'm gonna, we're doing the pod, Mel. You just fixed the- We're actually talking about hims.
Starting point is 00:29:18 You just fixed a couple dicks. You used that to fix your hair, didn't you, bro? Ladies and gentlemen, this is my brother-in-law, Tramel, here. He actually used him to fix his fucking hair, and I'm pissed that I didn't keep doing it. No, no. It's an effort. Nothing's overnight, but I'm persistent. We'll see.
Starting point is 00:29:39 Yeah. That's a ringing endorsement for him. Thank you, Mel. Well, it's his same philosophy when it comes to sports betting is that you don't win it all in one bet. You have to fucking put in the work and you start low and you go slow and eventually you're rich. But yeah, MZD, I mean, he just walked by.
Starting point is 00:30:04 He's hot as hell. He's feeling himself. He came in holding his cock, I'm pretty sure I mean, he just walked by. He's hot as hell. He's feeling himself. He came in holding his cock, I'm pretty sure. Dude, he's being humble. I literally have seen his hairline come back and it's all because of hims and I was taking hims, but then it was one thing I had to do, so I quit doing it. Yeah, but it's actually worked for him and I'm not pissed at all. Well yeah.
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Starting point is 00:31:34 No, it's okay. I mean, I usually stomp all over the ad read, but I can kind of tell when you're getting to the legal part and I shut up. Yeah. Well, I should have shut up right there and I didn't, but time to get back on, to get things back on track. Start your free online visit today. That's right at hims.com slash chubby. That's hi ms.com slash chubby for your personalized ed treatment options. Hims.com slash chubby.
Starting point is 00:32:00 The featured products include compounded products, which are not approved nor verified for safety effectiveness or quality by the FDA. Prescription required. See website for details, restrictions and important safety information. Price varies based on product and subscription plan. Get some Hymns, man. Yeah, get your Hymns. Is that the only one we have? Yeah, that's the only ad read that we have this week is for hymns dick in a box. You get a new dick in the mail. It's a subscription service. I forgot what's over here. You get a new yeah, check that out. Read that copy. There's no way you're still into it. You jacked it. It's not like you're like, Oh,
Starting point is 00:32:43 yeah, I want some more. It's more like- In the what? I was just reading the Wall Street Journal. I love tabs open over here. You're checking Ethereum. Wait, that was the Ballskeet Journal. Whoops.
Starting point is 00:32:54 Yeah, Elitches. You guys have any questions about what Elitches is like now versus then? No, you covered it all. Becker, did you see the fucking funnel cake cake Mel said it was as good as it looked? Yeah, that's what I was gonna ask the food looked better than it was when it was run by Six Flags Um, I don't know if that's true. The pretzel was very dry. They had no mustard for the pretzel forks were hard to come by But I'll say this dude, so the season pass is 80 bucks, a regular ticket 70. For that $80, you have pretty much a pool membership right in the heart of Denver.
Starting point is 00:33:33 It's crazy. The lazy river, when you come around one of those bends, you just see all of downtown. I forget that Elitch's is in the heart of downtown. It's so nice that it's there. But I can't say the food was better. I was also, we never ate when I went when I was a kid because like my dad was already pissed. He had to spend $20 on gas. So yeah, we would always bring in turkey, Frito, cheese, and mayonnaise sandwiches. I remember.
Starting point is 00:34:01 Oh yeah. Because you know. That stayed in my head for so long where you can't, it's like a scam for suckers if you spend more money than the ticket in. My dad would act like, yeah, anything more and it's like, what are you completely devoid of any logic or sense to want to eat something cool at the water park? What are you insane? Eat your wet sandwich. We made it four hours ago. It's been hot. There's no ice pack. It's in the sun. It could have been in the shade, but it wasn't. Right. Yeah. Also, it's been crushed by the very hot Coca-Cola's that you're also going
Starting point is 00:34:43 to drink and not complain about. Because it could have been water, but it's your birthday. So yeah, I got you a Coca-Cola. There you go. Yeah. I mean, dude, also, how insane is it when you're a kid and your parents are like, no, no, we brought lunch. And it's like, I know, but we didn't bring any push pops. We didn't bring any slushies. There's all these like, it's 110 degrees. We didn't get here in time to get an umbrella, so we're literally sitting on the ground against the wall near the bathrooms because there's a little meager amount of shade. So it's like, hey dad, can you fork seven so I can not have heat stroke? Would that be cool? Could you
Starting point is 00:35:21 cough up fucking seven bones? Drink from the water fountain. It's 94 degrees. No. Dad, it's the ice cream of the future. What are you not understanding? Astronauts eat this. Don't you want your fat 10-year-old boy to be an astronaut? Don't you want me to go to space, daddy? Or at least dream of a time that I could go to space? He's like, my dad's white-knuckling it. Or even when I was a kid, he was probably half cocked, honestly. I think he was probably driving back sudsy. Also, the food, what back then it was like, what the fuck am I paying for? Their barbecue
Starting point is 00:35:55 was like Casa Bonita quality. And they had that in chicken tenders. And that was kind of all they had. And the chicken tenders were like edible. Some of the chicken tenders were mostly batter. Yeah. Waterlogged. Because Joe's parents would give them like 30 bucks. Oh, dude, you could ride around on those things like a raft. I also lucked out yesterday on the lazy river because I randomly found one of those in the lazy river at Elitch's, they provide you with those ring floaties, you know, the donut floats. But every now and then they have the attached double ring floaty. So it is there a scraping coming through Becker? Yeah, it sounds like there's a TV on or something.
Starting point is 00:36:39 No, no, it's this fucking guy outside has been doing He's building the Berlin Wall. It's hard. It's like right outside of the guest room Yeah, he's out there with a shovel just scraping dirt Hitting the he's been out there since hitting me. It'll probably come out when I level it. It's barely audible. I just was Spazzing out and making sure it wasn't well. No, I mean I've been I've been hearing it now for about 12 hours It's four. Yeah, he's been out there. But, you know, no one's going to have a flatter patio than Sophie and Mel. Who's that? Winnie the Pig.
Starting point is 00:37:19 This is you, Lump. Looks like Winnie the Pooh and Piglet, too. That's the child of Winnie and Piglet. Yeah, this is not canon, but it is. Little Wiglet. Slash fiction. Wiglet, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:33 They tried to spin off with Wiglet. Swing and a miss. A-A-A-A-L. Tigger was like, that's my thing. They were like, we can't have Tigger involved at all. We can't have Tigger and wiggle it. We're begging for trouble. Oh man.
Starting point is 00:37:56 Well, you know what I've been thinking about? Sisyphus brewing. I don't know. That's pretty random, but you know, that's what's been on my mind while you've been talking about roller coasters. Sisyphus Brewing, whether it's their nationally recognized comedy club or the constantly rotating selection of craft beers, wide selection of games and pinball machines. Hold on. Hold on.
Starting point is 00:38:20 What? What's going on here? Nothing. I'm just talking about a cool place that I like kind of my elitches. You guys talking about Sisyphus brewing in Minneapolis, Minnesota. That's right. You know about it. It's world renowned. I filmed some of waiting for death to claim us there. Well, yeah. And I'll tell you, tell you what it makes for a spot. That's fun for the whole family. Whether you're doing, whether you're filming a special or you just hit a home run in your little league game to get you into the championship. That's
Starting point is 00:38:50 Sisyphus Brewing, located in downtown Minneapolis near the Sculpture Garden. Stop on in, enjoy a craft beer and tell them Lund sent you. Wait a minute. Sisyphus. You're not going to feel like you're rolling a boulder up a hill for the rest of eternity when you're at Sisyphus Brewing. That's the funny part. Did you just do an ad read for Sisyphus? No. I just talked about a cool place that's near and dear to my heart. It's not weird. Becker?
Starting point is 00:39:20 This is crazy. Becker, is there an email that I missed? No, I'm looking really hard. Don't look really hard. You don't- there's nothing to find. Well, what I'd like to find is who's getting paid for that ad read. I'll tell you, it's not you, but the people that will come out to Sisyphus Brewing are gonna be paid in memorable nights. What? You're going rogue with independent ad reads?
Starting point is 00:39:56 Well, funny enough, coincidentally and and non sequentially. Are you booked there? I will be there. You can see me live at Sisyphus Brewing in just a few short months when the leaves have fallen from the trees and there's a nip in the air. That's when the cold Arctic winds bring old Lund to town. So yeah, stay tuned. But yeah, I mean- What do you mean stay tuned? Say the date! You don't have to wait until December 26th and 27th to go down to Sisyphus Brewing and have a nice time. They're going to be open. You're doing Minneapolis at the end of December.
Starting point is 00:40:33 Yeah, that's when people really like to go explore the Midwest is end of December. You get some presents, you open them, you're filled with joy. And then you go, uh, share that joy by sitting in a, in a brewery and watching live comedy. But I mean, all summer long, I mean, you could go and see a great show. That's for sure. You don't have to wait six months. What? How much, how much did they give you for that?
Starting point is 00:41:02 They gave me the opportunity to entertain the people of Minneapolis in the wake of a terrible tragedy. They just lost two of their politicians, their political leaders. And so you got to mourn and move on and laughter is the best medicine, right? After grief counseling. That's also helpful. I had a conversation with Clay Dehaun about that up there in Minnesota, what happened. What did Clay have to say? He has a different view from 10,000 feet, like you said. I was like, you know, I was like, me and Clay were like kind of indoctrinated in the same
Starting point is 00:41:40 anarchist teachings when we were kids, you know, living in Ithaca and even before that. And it was like, you know, some anarchist thinkers said that the assassination of politicians was the only way to make the government listen. And then you see it IRL and you're like, oh, four of them in their own homes? Like, I don't know, me and Clay were both like, yeah, it kind of sucks, huh? That's bad. But when you're reading Bakunin and shit like that, when you're a kid, you're like, that's the only way.
Starting point is 00:42:12 Make them fear you. And then you're like, oh, God. Sure. Rhetoric in action. Well, I also think there's so many people that don't want that, but my God, how long are we supposed to wait? And also out of all the people to take out, two representatives, local Minnesota lawmakers that nobody's heard of, they're not nationally.
Starting point is 00:42:36 Yeah. I mean, he was- But he had a list. That's lazy as hell. They lived eight miles away, so he starts there. It's like, I mean, Luigi fucking went to New York for a big healthcare CEO who has- Yeah, but fight the war at home. No, no, I'm saying maybe make a trip out of it.
Starting point is 00:42:53 Think global, act local. Go, don't live in Minneapolis and then kill people there. Yeah, see ground zero before you do it. Visit Minneapolis. Yeah, I get it. From elsewhere. No. Go to Sisyphus Brewing. There, I read the ad too elsewhere. No, uh, go to Sisyphus brewing there. I read the ad too. So I would like some of the money. You're not a part of this. Sisyphus. Good. Yeah, I know. And it's, you're not the only one. You're not the only one with big news. Hey, also speaking of, oh shit, we haven't even talked about it. Here we go. What other,
Starting point is 00:43:23 what is this? Is there another one? No. The other day I was driving around and I was thinking, where can I get an easy, healthy meal for me and my kids for a reasonable price? And I passed a Del Taco. And let me tell you, that Del Taco really sings. Whether it's date night, you're trying to feed the kids after the big game, or just a little lun time.
Starting point is 00:43:44 Del Taco. Del Taco, illegal in Colorado. They had to train everybody up there. Like, listen, Colorado Del Tacos, you guys are sucking ass out there. You need to take a breather. Why were they getting work? I mean, I wasn't hitting them super hard, but they needed to regroup. You were hitting them as hard as anyone was hitting them.
Starting point is 00:44:07 That's for sure. You kept a couple of lights on in there. Oh, shout out Hassan in Raton letting me know they got Hello Panda at the Heirloom Market right there in downtown Raton, New Mexico. Hello Panda. You said that in the group chat as if you said, hey, there's a cure for typhus. There's a lifeline. It was big news.
Starting point is 00:44:27 Then Becker said, oh cool. Now we have to schedule some Arby's slash Hello Panda trips to Raton. And I think I said, you don't have to. That's not like a thing you have to do. We do. We're gonna. It's the only place to get a Euro down here. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:45 But before I forget, again, Sisyphus Brewing, the site of you almost being assassinated, you would have been in the national spotlight like these reps. Oh yeah. I got like a death threat there. That was also the show in Waiting for Death to Claim Us, available on Amazon Prime, where you see us driving into Minnesota and we're listening to the radio and it's like, we're not allowed to have gatherings over 250 people, because it was like March 16th or something of COVID. I was like, yes, thank God I'm not a larger draw, because we didn't have 250.
Starting point is 00:45:20 Sisyphus doesn't fit 250. Well, they might have to in a few months because I'm building momentum six months out. Yeah. It's a great room. I love those guys. I love Sam and his partner. I can't remember her name. But yeah, SysFist does rule. And y'all expect half of that money in the escrow account by five o'clock mountain.
Starting point is 00:45:44 What about this? You had a big plan to go from- Abnormal behavior. To record a pod and you didn't do that because everybody got wasted. I didn't because, well, my sister didn't but Mel and Emmy because here's the thing about Elitches dude, $80, 80 bucks for the season pass, 18 bucks for the souvenir cup. After that, $3 refills on your beers all year long, all summer long. So if you get that cup, that's a hundred bucks. And now you can just go to the best bar in Denver where parking is free, or you can even
Starting point is 00:46:20 ride the bus there and get tanked on $3 cold ones next to the lazy river all summer. I mean, look, it doesn't matter how big the family is. Doesn't matter if they're coming in from out of town. If you're in Denver and you're looking for wholesome good times, Elitch Gardens right there in the heart of downtown. Check them out. You worked out a deal at the front, at the entrance.
Starting point is 00:46:41 This is just an organic read like yours. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, yeah. It's just a normal thing that you say in conversation with your friends on your podcast. This isn't monetized. Not everything is, luckily. Right. But no, so they got kind of thwacked out and then we wouldn't got green chili and there was no hope to podcast. It would have been good, I'll bet.
Starting point is 00:47:03 It would have been... No, I don't think it would have because everyone was like, oh my God, why did we eat all that chili and turkey leg? In half the tables on Monjaro, so we went to La Loma, dude, if you're ever in Denver, bro, right there at Wynkoop and 16th. Right across from the Brown Palace, which is a great place to stay. Not as expensive as you'd think. Brown Palace. That's 1-800-BRO-WN-P-AL. Brown Pal. I'm a Warwick guy. Oh, Warwick's a great option. If you want to be near Cap Hill and uptown, Warwick, right
Starting point is 00:47:38 there at 17th and Grant. Yeah, a lot of parking. right next to the abandoned Wells Fargo. Yeah, that's gone. But the Warwick stands tall. And I'm two for two when checking in at the Warwick Hotel with an Indian person laughing at my last name. It crushes. Oh, yeah. I remember the two times you and I checked in. They didn't charge me for your service animal fee. So I like the Warwick. They also allowed dope smoking on their balconies. I don't think they do.
Starting point is 00:48:09 I don't think they do. They say they can, but they don't want you to. They did a big push after Mason Vert fought it in court. They were like, we can allow it here. That's one of our draws. Also, if anyone out there is looking to buy a, if anyone's looking to buy an established neurotropic company in the state of Colorado, hit me up because we're looking to move a company. Yeah, yeah. We want to sell the brand and start making Japanese chocolate.
Starting point is 00:48:35 That's what we want to do. All right. That's fine. But yeah, we did. We watched Companion instead, but go to La Loma, dude. La Loma is excellent. It's the best green chili I've had in Denver since, well, you know, it's different. The condiment green chili is its own thing, obviously.
Starting point is 00:48:55 As far as a bowl of green chili stew, that really hasn't slapped that hard since fucking City Grill or Capital Grill, whichever one it is across from the Capitol. That place closed. I used to love their green chili. This is the closest I've had and I'll say what, it's even better than that was. They make their own tortillas. They make their own flour tortillas in-house. Bad ass. Has that been there forever? I haven't been there, I don't think. No, no, no, no. It's where Cajun Cafe used to be, that Cajun restaurant.
Starting point is 00:49:23 It was my grandpa's favorite. It's the only place that doesn't overcook their grits. That's what my mom's dad used to say. And that's all he would say for the hour that we had lunch there. He would say that and he would say, I should never quit smoking. All right, grandpa. Becker, take that to heart. Are you leaving for Denver today to go to the hospital or is that tomorrow? No, I'm leaving at 5.30 in the morning. You're getting your dick shortened. Is that right?
Starting point is 00:49:52 No, I got to go to Australia without having to buy a second seat. They want to do a died CT scan to look at what's going on. And then I have to take my car to the mechanic because I'm getting it fuel injected while we're gone So that means the mechanics gonna have sex with your car while you're gone No, it means it won't have a it'll operate on computers So it'll know how to breathe at altitude in different weathers instead of running like shit the heat like it did for me and one the other day Just let Pete Hatfield fuck your car. He'd do it for free
Starting point is 00:50:24 Hey, you inject it with fuel and some other Denver. He's going to cool inject it. Shit all day tomorrow. Yeah, you guys are both busy. I'm not doing shit the next few days. After I get a, after I clock out here, I'm fucking off. Long weekend. Oh dude, when I'm done here, I have a half hour. I pick up my sister, I go to the airport
Starting point is 00:50:48 and then I will be in Australia in 24 hours from right now. Oh God. Crazy. Yeah. I guess I'm going to try to see if I can find a smaller bag that makes sense. Why? Limited luggage space on the van. Yeah. I mean, I think it's a five, I think it's a 13 passenger van or 12 passenger van. So I think we'll probably have a little room, but yeah, be conscious when you're packing. Lund, just bring one diaper. Yeah, yeah. Two bags. No, I mean, we can have two bags. Just like if every one of us has a huge checked in 50 pound suitcase, that's not going to work.
Starting point is 00:51:24 That's what I meant is is I have like two sized bags. Yeah, and also like any, if we can all manage, cause Emily's not gonna, Emily's bringing a giant suitcase so she can bring all of her bras. But we are. No underwear so she can double up on bras. Yeah, yeah, she wants to be padded. But yeah, I don't wanna have to check any bags while we're there. Yeah padded push. That's Pat pat and pushed
Starting point is 00:51:49 You're not checking a bag I'm not I'm not checking a bag. I only have carry-ons, but we can do check bag I want to check my I don't like I hate having that roller bag in the head it too, dude But even though it's three weeks, mine's a little bit one shot at laundry You guys can do my laundry whenever you want get out there No, we'll be fine. I mean we only have one outfit for Melbourne. We have to dress like the Simpsons there, but then uh Everyone can put on their second pair of pants in New Zealand. I'm doing a lot of shorts and hoodies Yeah, it's gonna be like 30. I think that's pretty insane.odies. Yeah, it's going to be like 30 degrees in New Zealand.
Starting point is 00:52:25 I think that's pretty insane. Yeah. Yeah, I'll bet it is. I'll bet you guys all think I'm insane all the way to the bank. We do. I mean, after the system is thing, I don't know what's going on. We're shorts for our long hikes at night to look at stars and 30 degree weather and we will film it and it'll be fun for everyone.
Starting point is 00:52:40 Yeah, I'm going on a long hike at night. I'll see you there. Can't wait. We are. Yeah, I'll bet we are. I'm going to hike long hike at night. I'll see you there. Can't we are yeah, I'll bet we are I'm gonna hike for a half hour out and back No, I think oh You're right. We should go to the other side of the world and then just lay down after 5 p.m. When it gets dark Yeah, yeah, we should all just look at Twitter and threads
Starting point is 00:52:59 That's when I play Farkel At card games.io Yeah, there's ads but you you know, in exchange for access to some of your favorite games, whether they be card games, Sudoku puzzles, Yahtzee, obviously I'm getting all the Yats on. All the widowers' favorites. Cardgames.io. Are you still playing Solitaire? They have Solitaire. I moved on from Solitaire forever ago, but if it still has its claws in you,
Starting point is 00:53:25 they've got it at cardgames.io. It's a website, it's an app, it's great. Get on there, get your Farkel on. I don't even need Netflix anymore. I just play Farkel. You're not going to Sisyphus. Yes, I am. You're going to freeze to death. I'll be there. I'm going to call in some favors in New Zealand. You're gonna be a human rugby ball.
Starting point is 00:53:50 I'm gonna get you on the pitch. Hey, Brisbane, get your fucking tickets. What the hell? Yeah. Anymore? Hold on. Oh, God. I had like a big vegetable bowl after I took my shot for the week and it's just sitting in there. Sophie was talking about her turds the other day. And like, I
Starting point is 00:54:18 haven't really talked about it, but I am like pretty constipated most of the time. And I like mentioned that and she was like, Sam, I am as well. Mel and Emily were like, enough. Sophie was like, you don't understand the size of the things that come out. That's what she said. Because it's like, I'm literally trying to pass a ball peen hammer over here. Oh, it's gnarly, dude. It's so gnarly. See? Yeah. If my... That's annoying. Because yeah, I'm eating too much. I'm having diarrhea and it's annoying, but constipation is even dumber and weirder. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:52 So it's lose-lose. Constipation is nothing because every time I dump, I lose 12 pounds. So twice a week, I think I'm going to lose 12 pounds, but then twice a month I actually lose 12 pounds. So it's perfect. I get my hopes up twice and then a third time I'm like, here we go. And then 90 minutes later, I'm like, Emmy, you can unpause the movie. And she's like, I finished it and started another one.
Starting point is 00:55:17 I'm like, well, do you want your husband to be hot or do you want him to be regular? Dude, oh shit, perfect. Intro reminder. The other thing that we've been laughing about that we can talk about that fucking Tyrese Halliburton's girlfriend shares a post. Oh baby. God damn it.
Starting point is 00:55:39 This has been such a wonderful season. I'm so sorry that it ended like this, but man, what a ride. Just this nice, I don't know how long they've been together. Tyrese Halliburts girlfriend, what is her fucking name? It's like Jade, Jade Jones. I mean, she's beautiful. She's beautiful. In her Instagram post to Tyrese, thanking him,
Starting point is 00:56:00 thanking the Pacers for a great season, she has like 20 pictures of her with Tyrese, of her doing her thing, whatever. One of the pictures- It's her and Brock Lesnar's daughter. She wishes. One of the pictures, this woman is beautiful, classically pretty, makeup, pretty makeup, you know, to the gills. She shares a picture, like picture 10, you know, in this big post, with the opposite of what she looks like in every way, like a friend who can't be happy about this picture being shared, not because she's ugly, but because it's not a great picture of this woman.
Starting point is 00:56:43 And is there a great picture of her that exists though? That's the issue. She probably- That was definitely the best picture. There's no way- I hope not. There's no way. Tyrese Halliburton's girlfriend is unaware
Starting point is 00:56:54 of the beauty disparity, not even the beauty, the human to non-human disparity. The value of two people. This lady literally looks like a rock biter. She looks like a Henson creation. And then you have God's perfect angel next to her. She has to be aware. No one is that mean where they're like, okay, I'm putting one up with Tantor.
Starting point is 00:57:16 I'm throwing this up on the grid. You pointed out that she doesn't have any teeth in the photo. Not only, okay. So not only, cat mouth, Billy bet. Not only is Tyrese is, uh, is Jade done up like, you know, hours of time glowing. The lighting is hitting her. I think they're at a game, but this friend has like no makeup on, like gray, must've gone like her dad's in the hospital and then she, her at, I think they're at a game, but this friend has like no makeup on. Like gray skin, like her dad's in the hospital and then she, Jade invites her to come to the second half of the
Starting point is 00:57:51 Pacers game. She, or her face is made of Wasps nests. That could also be true. She's smiling, but her top teeth are not showing. She didn't close her mouth all the way, but she smiled and you can just see top gum and then like little bits of the top of her teeth. So it's just awkward. I think Jade is so busy and getting her brand on. She's apologizing for shit like this constantly. Her friends are like, I can't believe you shared that picture.
Starting point is 00:58:24 She's like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. But she's like, you know, at the gym for the fourth time of the day or, you know, she's got a photo shoot. So she's so busy. She's just like blowing it constantly. And one of those times is, and there's a post that everybody is seeing because I don't follow her. I saw it because-
Starting point is 00:58:43 It's her in Thumper. She looks, hatchet face. She looks like Thumper from the old, was that, what was Thumper from? Bambi. Yeah, she looks like Thumper. She doesn't look like Bambi. Thumper has big rabbit teeth. She doesn't have teeth, remember?
Starting point is 00:58:58 That's right. She's a grub. That's true. She looks like a grub. He is gray. She looks like a tremor from the movie Tremors. She literally looks like she grub. He is gray. She looks like a tremor from the movie Tremors. She literally looks like she was created in a rush for a high school product. It makes no sense.
Starting point is 00:59:12 Yeah. It looks like a make-a-wish. Yeah. It's like, why are you guys allowed in the same room? Yeah. It's like, how crazy was your glow up that you guys were once like friends or it's her sister who's sick. And I mean, I think that the person's probably sick in some way and we're being terrible.
Starting point is 00:59:31 I'm not trying to say, check out, it's funny how gross she is. I'm saying I'm laughing at how crazy Jade is to have shared that picture. It's not fair. That woman looks, can look a lot more like nicer or healthier and it's just like alive that she's generally alive yes you yeah you didn't run out of film that wasn't the last shot on the disposable I'm saying that was the best one though that was for sure the best one means Jade wasn't trying she look how cute we are look how cute we are she was onto the night one's like oh she likes it i mean it looks like she sleeps in a turtle cage this poor woman they're on the kids like they're on the look at me they're on the kiss cam and the crowd shakes her hand losing its mind they're like no kill it oh one check out the Patreon. That's an eight now. Nothing's more organic. Is that what the face of Sisyphus brewing should be saying about a woman? Oh, I forgot. Also, what's
Starting point is 01:00:36 this fucking lighthouse? Right? How's the dude? Geez. We're there's so much stuff. Hold on Brisbane. I'm there on Saturday and then Melbourne's coming up. There's very few tickets for Melbourne, Sydney. Auckland, second show added. Come to that. Perth. Come to that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:53 We're going to do okay down there. We'll see you all over New Zealand. Lund has some condiment related news. The lighthouse ranch thing. Yeah. Last week I went up there to film some stuff. They were like, I knew that there was going to be a live stream of a refrigerator for Lighthouse Ranch to promote Lighthouse Ranch. Oh, how long's the live stream? When I show up, I'm like, Hey, is it like 24 hour live stream?
Starting point is 01:01:14 They go, it's seven days. They said it's seven days long. I said, what the fuck? I said, why is it? And they said Lighthouse wanted it to be 30 days a month long live stream of a refrigerator With giveaways with prizes with fun with me obviously coming and going something interesting happening now and then But for some I'm trapped on screen with a unguarded fridge for a month You sure it was a lighthouse's idea or was that your pitch? Those are my people. Locked in with the fridge. Yeah. No, my people made that happen.
Starting point is 01:01:48 My agent is taking care of me, but, uh, no, I just shot for a day and they're just going to, they're putting me in there randomly and there's other people involved. There's like other social media accounts. You son of a bitch. What? I heard you. Oh, uh, you're breaking up. The shoot was fine. You know, I did random dumb shit. Oh, I'm getting ready. Put, uh, put ranch
Starting point is 01:02:15 on my face. Like it was foundation. Uh, some stuff was more unhinged than others for sure. Yeah. Where the fuck is that video? Ooh, I don't know. They didn't use that obviously Yeah, but we shot a did Me next to Jade is funny also on the shoot. I'm surprised. I haven't gotten destroyed They're probably deleting comments, but I look like hell There was no hair and makeup and I looked like shit for a lot of those. You're like wet and red in there. I'm red. You're humping the fridge.
Starting point is 01:02:50 I told Megan I looked red. She's like, you look great. She lied. Yeah, I look red. I'm obviously huge. Emi wouldn't lie to me. Megan lies to you? I think she's just nice. She's pure of heart. Emi would already have it. It'd be in five group chats. Look how red my husband is. Look what they did to my boy. He's red. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:09 No, I was surprised. Yeah. They're like, Oh, Oh, I was supposed to do the conference. Go down to Phoenix and sign some autographs. That's not happening. Lighthouse is bleeding money, but they keep, they keep expanding. They've got different products. Check them out.
Starting point is 01:03:23 The Caesar's. Heavy house. Check out the new and improved Caesar dressing. Shut up. It's also funny. I'm a ranch spokesman for five years. I get huge. Everybody's like, yeah, good call. Keep hiring the guy that you're killing with your product. Goodbye.

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