Chubby Behemoth - Thought It Was A Job Interview

Episode Date: May 9, 2026

SEE THE BOYS LIVE - https://punchup.live/samtallent     Sponsors: Ridge - One thing to pack, five ways to power! Get 10% @ Ridge with code CHUBBY at https://www.Ridge.com/CHUBBY #Ridgepod #sponsored #ad     Harry's - Chubby Behemoth fans get the Harry's Plus Trial Set for only $10 at https://www.Harrys.com/CHUBBY #Harry'sPod     PATREON EPISODES: https://www.Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth     This week Patrick Richardson joins Nathan and Becker. Nathan tells Pat about a house show he's putting on, hips the guys to a new online idiot, and can't enjoy Mel Gibson movies anymore. Patrick is losing trust in the NBA, tells the boys about his time in Detroit, and didn't know a dinner was a date.     00:00 Back Up To 300 02:08 Weight Is Weird 06:18 Orphan Food 08:56 Just Eat Casey's 11:05 Randos Playing Pool 14:17 Live Shrek 17:16 Maybe It's Cope 19:26 Filming? 22:08 A Fix For Airport Outlets 24:14 He's A Little Worm 29:42 Will Chud Say It 32:41 The Hazard Of That Job 35:20 Thwarted Attempts 38:52 Italian Sausage Dip 41:43 Everyday Pizza 43:55 It Needed It 45:48 Business Dinner 48:17 Cell Phones On Belt Loops 50:39 Spraying It 52:44 Jessica Rabbit 54:47 I'm Moving There 01:00:26 Not Allowed On Ever     Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   MORE WIDE WORLD: @SamTallent   Pre-Order Sam's New Book - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0593978897/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3I4LOBQ02YIGW&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.k5eCApJdjwVfn7hSelWi5VdRMlVrzKa4zf68ficcjcg.tZZOiI0nB0n3kkWiGAbidMQy5yUS_MkvmEIaXp-LXjo&dib_tag=se&keywords=sam+tallent+brut&qid=1769522903&sprefix=sam+tallent+,aps,181&sr=8-1&dplnkId=90401c83-a6a0-4ad4-999e-ece570a5d320&nodl=1   Also Featuring Patrick Richardson and Jake Becker

I was telling Pat, I realize next week is episode 300. Oh, shit. Yeah. And I'm back up to 300 pounds. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. Man, that cut you sent us. We've lost so much weight as a group.

I know. Literally all of us. Everybody there has lost weight. I'm almost down to 300. Yeah, Bonzo included. And I never thought Bonzo carried any more weight, but you could see it. Like he had a little bit more weight on his face. I didn't notice Bonzo.

Yeah, this is the long awaited for a long time. People thought it was lost to time. Episode three of Wide World, Colorado. Yeah, we're back on track. We're back on track. Coming eventually soonish, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, not close.

No, we still have a bit of work. Sam has to do voiceover and then I have to do a couple things. But it's very close. Yeah. Then we can get to Rome. Yeah, I had some body dysmorphia watching some of that. I was like, what the fuck? I didn't realize how much bigger I was.

But I'm excited to get through that Rome footage. It looks pretty. We're all so sweaty in it. The trailer at the end made me tear up. all of you so much. I was also Mondo high at like 11 o'clock at night, but I was like, I miss all the boys. Yeah. It's easy to forget all the fun adventures we've had. Yeah. Yeah, there's Rome and then the separate, the two separate but equal road trips of Florida and Megan and I go into the the Humboldt Redwood, Northern California area. And then I just watched that,

Emily sent that clip of us at the Warriors game in New Zealand. That was cool. Up the laws. But yeah, New Zealand almost a year ago in a couple months. That will have been a year ago. That's insane. The time is fucked. Wade is weird.

Wade's fucked up. I'm two weeks. This is my second week off of the shot. I quit. You quit. Injecting myself. Yeah. I was sick of it. I just need to like ride my bike and do crunches and see what I can do without.

Because I don't, I don't know what else to do to have the shot do anything for me other than work out. But I just didn't want to keep paying for it. So yeah, I've lost some weight. I'm sure I'm down probably like 30 pounds from my, when I started. So that's not nothing. I just didn't get the results that Sam did. And that's okay. We're different people. Yeah. Sam gets everything. I get nothing. I have nothing. You live in a big church. You get to pray every day to Christ. God yells at me every day, every morning. Get up. How many levels is it?

Is it three levels? Yeah. Yeah, the upstairs doesn't have really anything in it. It was like a Sunday school area. So there were like a couple of tables or whatever. But now there's like a desk and that's it. And it's a cool, like it would be cool to use, but there's, nothing up there. I don't want to lug a bunch of shit up there. Yeah. And we have a bunch of space down

here. So just child ghosts. Just the basement. Yeah. There's child ghosts up there who've been essayed. Yeah, trauma bouncing off the walls. We have a concert tonight. It's the return of this dude who plays like classical acoustic guitar. He came through last year and a bunch of old people showed up. A bunch of old people showed up. No, upstairs in the sanctuary. Oh, really? So he's going to come back through in a few hours and play his seven guitars. Nice.

That he brought. Nylon string guitars. No, Dio. I didn't know you did house shows. This is the only thing. This will be the second thing since we moved in. Like before we lived here, there were a couple of comments. he shows. Billy Wayne Davis came through and then he did one like right before you guys moved in

right. Was that the last time he was there? I don't think it was right before but maybe a few months. I don't remember. Yeah. But he came through twice, I think. And that was fun. It was fun to be naughty and tell my jokes in a church without getting yelled at. But yeah, this was one of Megan's friends asked if her cousin could play his guitars and it went well last time I was out of town so I wasn't here but everybody liked it so they're doing it again nice hopefully hopefully none of the old people get rowdy or else I'll have to go up there in a sleeveless shirt it backs them hey no crowd surfing just point to the door get the fuck yeah he's just like Judd-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D.

Chud the builder shows up. I'm like, no way, bro. No way. Just old men crowd killing. To Flur de Lille. Flur-de-Lee. Whatever. You knew my man.

Yes, but because I just thought about Claire D'Loon, I think, is a different. I just know so much classical music that I get them all mixed up. Those are the two I know. Those are the only two I know. But yeah, hopefully we'll have a bunch of people show up and watch some classical guitar. The most exciting music in the world. No, he is good. He's very good.

No, those guys shred. What? Oh, yeah, I wanted to ask you about living in Detroit because you're back in Colorado. Yes, I'm back. What was, what were the highlights? How was it better? worse living with Sam and Emily again? Maybe compare the houses.

It was great. It was very fun. I miss them. I'm going on record saying they're bad cooks. That's my hot take. They make orphan food. They just put the worst, they put garbonzo beans and asparagus and

just a bunch of random shit into a pot. And then they act like I'm crazy when I'm like, this is gross. So that was a low. Also, there was toxic fog, which I didn't know about. It looked like Silent Hill video game, foggy for the first two weeks I was there. And then someone was like, oh, it's toxic. You shouldn't be outside for prolonged amounts of time because like chemicals from cars and things get lifted through the moisture into the fog.

And you're not supposed to breathe that in. So that was probably my favorite part of Michigan. And I got bedbugs on the way there. That's not Detroit's fault. That's not Michigan's fault. That's my fault for getting a $60 hotel in Altoona, Iowa. How bad was that? It sucked.

I walked in and no one's at the counter and I ring the bell and a guy comes out of the bathroom, like a Zoom or a young boy. No like shirt signifying that he works at the Super 8 or whatever. And he's like, I was trying to take a shit. And he's like mad at me for trying to check in. And that's when I should have not, I should have left right then. Yeah, yeah, I'll leave you to it then. Spend the extra $30.

Spend the extra $30. Get a $90 hotel room, everyone. It's not fucking worth it. he came out of a room he's like i was trying to take a shit you see that there's a shit on the bed you're like oh okay they do things a little different in al tuna i would prefer to have a shit on the bed than bed bugs in the bed if i'm being quite honest with you yeah it's easier to clean up but i used to uh i used to check for i guess we go to better hotel so it's not crazy to have stopped checking but i used to always check just in case like

when I first got into a room. I'm going to now. Yeah. So it's also a huge domestic disturbance in the room right next to me all night. I got a video of a woman, a woman just punching the shit out of a man in the parking lot. Oh. It was crazy. Reverso.

Well, he threw his phone at her face, too. Okay. It was pretty. Yeah. It was nuts. Fuck Iowa. I was kind of a sinister place. I ought to want around.

It's It's just bad Bad energy People just eat Casey's pizza And have diarrhea And they're in a bad mood Then they make it Your problem

Yeah exactly Give me bad bugs But their shows are cool Everyone was nice I love the Midwest Michigan's cool It was cool It was cool that black people

In the crowds At comedy shows That was fun Now I'm back to Doing shows in Denver to white people. For the white libs. Can he say that?

You were out there for two months? Yes. Three months? Two months. Two months. And are you going to, are you staying in Greeley for now? Yeah, I'm in Greeley still. Just kind of floating around.

Still saving money. Seeing a lady in Fort Collins. I've been Fort Collins a lot lately. Okay. Yeah. Well, I am excited for the finished product of the last Wide World, Colorado. Trinidad looked, I only got, I only watched like half. But it is an hour long at this moment.

I just blew it and was doing other stuff and then had like a half hour before we got in here. But it brought me back to doing Wide World. how fun it is and then how much you elevate the footage. And, yeah, Trinidad looked pretty and cool. The bar, the Dad Lounge looked very cool. Yeah. And so I liked all of that. Yeah, we did a show there.

Me and Bailey Pope and Zach Moss and a folk singer did a show at the Dad Lounge a few weeks ago, and that was fun. And then Orvidol, Andrew Orvidol, texted me and was like, hey, man, can I get on a show down there? And I was like, well, I don't run one, but you can come down here. And then he just didn't get back to me. He didn't want to produce it himself. He just wants to be. He didn't want to. No, I think, I mean, he said, if you have one or can we set one up?

And I said, we can set one up. And they didn't get back to me. So I don't know what his plan is, but I said, I'd be happy to put something to other, maybe at the church, you know, here at the church, if, uh, if he doesn't want to deal with Randos playing pool, which was annoying. It's like you spent $10 to watch a comedy show, but you still want to play pool and not watch the shit. Like you paid an extra $10 to play pool instead of going, we don't, there aren't a lot of other bars that have pool tables, but it's like, can you just cover the pool table during the comedy show? We could have. Yeah, we could have,

but then people get. I need my. And if they if they if they just like chill and like don't hit the balls as hard as they can, then it can work. But people are dumb about it. That one person seemed like they were trying to make a fucking point with how hard they were hitting everything on the table. Flying the cue off the table. It was on the back of the head. Nuts. It was like a five foot four woman and she was trying to break the cue ball every time she fucking hit anything.

It was nuts. I was sitting right behind him and watching it like, what the fuck are you doing? That's not even a strategy to the game. No. Yeah. People are crazy. Somebody, a dude, her boyfriend probably threw a phone at her right before that. She's probably from Altoona.

People react very weirdly sometimes, not down here, but just in general, to sometimes people that go to a comedy club will have some weird, like, jealousy that everybody, Everybody's watching you and then they do either they outright heckle because they want some attention or they just do weird shit like, you know, look at their phone. Even if they're up close, they just like don't pay attention and like cross their arms. And it really is like some weird power struggle or an attempt to like, yeah, like deal with these weird feelings of jealousy or like envy that they didn't ever like do pursue something that they wanted to pursue or like especially with comedy. they act like they could have they could have been really good at it but they didn't for whatever reason and then they're like weird about it take it out on you i don't know that's always boils down to insecurity anytime anybody does something like that it's they're insecure and that that is such a like

archetype at a comedy show the crossed arms like prove you're funny to me like what are you doing be the be what i think stand-up comedy is yeah i have a very specific definition of stand-up and you don't meet it, then you're a fraud. Yeah. Have you done a mic drop comedy club? Are there a few of them? There's, yeah, I think the original ones, San Diego. A club in downtown Detroit got bought by them and turned into one, but they have wacky.

All the stages are wacky. Like the one in Detroit has a big fake castle. I just shaved my head and was like, if I was painted green, you'd think this was like live Shrek on stage. It looks like a fan. It looks like Disney on ice. It's so weird. I don't know why. San Diego

was San Diego Allison Wonderland? Yeah, yeah. I haven't been there, but that's what I heard. Sam and I did that one. It was good. Yeah. It was a nice club. It's just feel bad for the people that work there because every comic can't help

themselves and is going to say something about the stupid background. I couldn't help it. I was like, I'm not going to do it. Everyone else has done it. I'm not going to say anything. And I did. I said I couldn't help it. I had to make fun of it.

It's crazy. I mean, I think that's, well, I mean, it's like anything. If you are going to make fun of it, you better come up with something good because you should assume that a bunch of the obvious things have been said. And you could say that Shrek thing. And it's better than a lot of other people because you had a shaved head because you're a big guy. So yeah, I don't know. It's okay. I forgive you. Thank you. Also, Sam, Sam makes fun of every stage room. No matter what is, no matter how normal or weird it is, he finds a way to blast it. So and a bunch of comics don't, I'm sure. Yeah. So it's. I like when the club is mad at him for doing. I think maybe Loonies, the guy was like, yeah. Be nice. He was asking. Don't blast the room. It's like, shut up, dude.

Are you kidding me? I sold this place out, loser. Right. We're all dead. We're all dead, buddy. It's comedy. It's not like people are going to be like, he's right. Let's get out of here.

Or just tear it down. They just start breaking everything. Let's fuck it up. You're going to hurt the wacky shit on the wall's feelings. Lori Callahan's headshot is crying. Oh, Lori Callahan's headshot is crying. Lori. Yeah, Bill Hicks, just frowning.

Mudflap when he looks like a fucking greaser. Al, 1979. Yeah, Al Goodwin. R-I. His eyes are bleeding. Is he the one that died? Yeah. Yeah.

Rest in peace to Al Goodwin. Yeah, he's doing all right. He's still getting books somehow. He's selling a bumper sticker or two in heaven. Still doing triple runs. How did you, I saw Noah, we did a show together in Longmont. Noah handled the Nuggets early exit well. Are you doing okay?

It was annoying for sure, but. Yeah, my, maybe it's cope, but I, the NBA is kind of seems like it's getting inshittified like everything else. Like there's been so much complaints by players about the refs after games in this playoffs. They're having like, I think the trust, they're losing the trust of the fans and the players. And Adam Silver is a ghoul and I hope he chokes on a lotka and dies. I heard he wants an AI team. He wants an expansion team. It's all AI. The W, then be AI. I wouldn't be surprised. If he could cut some costs, he would.

well and it did suck because it felt like the all the injuries during the regular season we were the nuggets were pretty much past them with like 12 games left and they went into the playoffs with a winning streak but they were still banged up to hell Aaron Gordon was banged up Peyton Watson didn't play so that all sucked and then it felt like they should have beaten the wolves because of the wolves big injuries but the nuggets were still all beat up Yokic, you know, missed time, but then had to play so hard to like, I think just to make sure that they, you know, had a good winning record. Yeah. In the second half of the season.

And so that all adds up to, yeah, just not being able to close out games or whatever. And I don't know. I hope they don't get rid of Jamal and Aaron Gordon and somebody else. I hope that they keep a lot of these people around Yokic and then just try to be healthy. It's hard that balance of like, well, I like these guys, but I also want the team to be good. And having Aaron Gordon and Watson out sucked because they play similar. They're both bigger guys that we need on the defensive end. So to have both of them out really sucked.

I was bummed, but I wasn't able to follow like the playoffs as much as usual. So I was a little more detached. Having sex, going out, driving. having gay sex with men in Detroit you're getting the place started when I got back oh okay like right when I got back for a little bit okay well I'm hoping that you can be a part of my show at the Comedy Works July 3rd did you see that yeah I would love to I would absolutely I want to see what you and Sam might think about me filming. I don't want to film at Comedy Works because people already have, and it's a weird setup.

Oh, you're not for like a special? I just could. And like Sam and I have talked about trying to both record something, film something, like this year, this summer. And I just don't know. No, well, we had talked about whether we should do that. Like a split and like a hardcore style split. Sam mentioned a split. Hot water music,

Alclan Trio type split is the first split I think of. But then that would be cool if we actually covered a couple of jokes. But I think like I think Dave Ross just did that with somebody. Maybe he and Caleb sign in. I don't know if they switched if they covered jokes. But I don't know. I don't know. We kind of left it at we.

couldn't or it'll be a lot to ask anybody to like film both of us in one place we wouldn't want them both to look the same so then we can't be in the same place and have the same like we can't have you film both edit both so we kind of left it but this was before uh i got asked about comedy works and then you know it's like you live here i guess bonzo doesn't but so it'd be easy enough to have you come down yeah you and joe Bonzo can suck it. I don't know. Joe's an excellent camera, man. We got a little time.

But I also just, you know, so many people have shot at Comedy Works recently. So I don't know if I also want to shoot there. But then it's like, hey, you know, I'm, it's not like I'm, I have all the options in the world. And I go with Comedy Works because it's been done before. I mean, it's also my home club. So that's, it's not like I have no connection to it other than it being good. So, yeah, I got a little time to figure it out and I'll see what you think, I guess. Yeah, keep you posted.

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This is something that we got a while back and it is nice. It works really well. It's nice when you're on the go. If you're in the car, you can use that. If you're in the airport and everybody's hogging the outlets like they like to do. A lot of them don't fucking work too. What's up with that? Yeah.

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yeah cool no no no one knew about it immediately like i talked to wendy via text a few days ago like She asked me if I can do the third. I said, of course, it's like right after my half my life doing stand-up anniversary, 22 of 44 years. Damn. So what a nice little kiss from the comedy gods on my birthday. And I didn't even think it was on the website because we had talked like two hours before. But it must have gotten put up. And Noah was like, hey, you're doing the comedy work, son. I was like, how often are you on this website you freak he's tapping wendy's phone it's not he's listed yet he's sitting at home monitoring her calls he's got israeli style surveillance on comedy works got a back

door yeah he's got a back door on every staff upper staff phone uh as long as it's a galaxy uh yeah he it was like on i i knew that i think he has said that he just like is always planning when he can sign up, when he can try to work with certain headliners. I get that to some extent, but the timing, you know, it was like he was hitting refresh over and over and then saw it as soon as it

came up. Yeah. He's not one to let you breathe. He doesn't let others breathe. He's a little worm. He's kind of a little worm. I hope he's doing well. I haven't seen him in a long time. We had a good time in Longmont. I drove him up there.

back and like I said he uh was moving on moving you know not dwelling on the nuggets loss he and jacob had already got season tickets for next year i was like yeah of course it'll be insane to be like i'm done yeah uh the ref referee stuff is very annoying and it and they're going to have to address it like soccer had didn't they go through all this a few years ago because flopping was so bad yeah i feel like they actually had to rein it in i don't know how They did that, but I think there was some kind of effort because people were so pissed. And playoff basketball is the best. Just don't ruin it.

Don't fucking influence, I don't know. I agree. And I've seen there's so much footage too now. It's not like you can get away with it like maybe you could long ago. Like everybody's seeing all of these blown calls from every angle. So they're going to quickly add up, especially when people are paying attention to which crews are worse than other crews or like which head officials are blowing it more than others. So like they've got to figure it out or else people will stop watching.

And blown calls are fine. It's it's an impossible sport to like get 100% right. Refing. I mean, all sports are kind of like that. But basketball, so bang, bang. But like the, the, just so many, the pacing is so, it makes it so hard to watch because it's just start and stop. Let them play. It's so annoying. And the challenge is I got to get all the commercials in there. And it's so tied to sports betting now that it all seems kind of like we've opened Pandora's box. And there's some shady stuff. I kind of stopped betting.

I've kind of been off the betting because it's just so everywhere now. I don't want. Yeah, I stopped. I don't miss it. I don't need to help redistribute the wealth to the 1% anymore. more than I already do by throwing my money away. Well, and that, I was mostly betting on football and it got annoying, but it still felt like, for the most part, like there wasn't any shenanigans.

And then with basketball, it was like, fuck you. Like some of the final scores or when players were pulled out of the games and stuff, it was like, all right, there's, like you said, when it's everywhere, how can they not also be aware of some of it. And then even if they're not directly benefiting, it's like how many of their friends could they hook up like with a simple couple of texts before like, I don't know. It's hard to just trust all of these people to just be on the up and up or refs. Fucking how much do refs get paid?

How much can they pad their fucking wallets if they are just a little bit in tune with like a couple other refs or whatever? I don't know. So that can all. And you used to be able to, I think you could trust. people a little bit more than in recent memory it just feels like everybody's just trying to get what they can there's like no rules there's not a ton of like i don't know uh i think a lot of people are just trying to get what they can yeah there's not as much thought about a big picture or yeah no one's comfortable so everybody's willing to fuck around whereas like in the 90s i'm sure all the refs could afford a nice house wherever the fuck they live janitors were buying homes yeah so now my janitor everyone molested me in a home

that he owned he wasn't renting my school janitor lived like five doors down from us but now everybody's just on the edge of like I mean fuck it like yeah yeah yeah it sucks it really sucks and there's the predictive

markets it used to be you just bet on like oh well wemby get over eight blocks or whatever now you can bet like will wemby eat Carl Anthony Towns hair or you can bet on any what kind of celebration The Builders say it

Yeah yeah Will jelly roll go to space I'm taking the over on Chud saying it every time What a psycho He's going to get his head blown off on His stream It's going to be crazy

Do you know about him Chud There's a guy I thought you were talking Lade You're getting slur The builder. He's this dude who just goes around. I think he lives in Tennessee.

So he's mostly been filming himself like downtown Nashville. And he'll like say it. He'll say it and spray it like to like a black bouncer, you know, and then like tell them not to chimp out. And so he's just like trying to trigger people in public while he's on streaming on his phone. So he's got all these people that are, you know, supporting him, egging him on. 12-year-olds.

And then he's 12-year-old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, a bunch of little chuds. And then, like, his whole thing that he says is freedom of speech, First Amendment. But he also has pepper spray and a pistol because Tennessee's open carry. So, like, he can have a gun on him, spray it, like, try to antagonize mostly black people. But if, like, if white people come up and try to challenge him, then he just calls him an N-lover or race-true. traitor you know just like oh yeah yeah yeah so he's just all about like rage baiting and and people

are really over it you know and so hopefully he stops i don't want him to get killed i want him to shut the fuck up and get a job like you don't that's such a weird way to live and then yeah and there have been a couple people that have found him uh when he isn't like trying to do his thing and there was a guy that was filming him and was like, I've got, you know, I have open carry too. And he called the cops. He was at a gas station. And he called the cops and like described the guy that was antagonizing him. And it's like, bro, that's all you do is like fire people up and piss people off.

And how that's like, and you know, he's literally acting like a free speech warrior. And it's like you are taking advantage of this thing and trying, you know. So it's just gross. Yeah. And it's very funny to me that his given. And the name that he goes by is Chud the builder. Yeah, he's reappropriate. That's our word for them, man.

That's fucked up. Right. Appropriating that. Yeah, I want to tweet, more like Chud the Builder. That keeps making me laugh. More like Chud the Bozo. It should be legal to shoot IRL streamers in the head. It should just be legal to kill them.

Yeah. It should be part of the hazard of that job. Yeah. The Constitution guy. and those guys. Yeah, the guy... Go ahead. They go to overseas,

like the overseas live streamers that just say racist shit to Japanese people. Those people should be shot, probably. Yeah. Probably. I was going to say something. Fuck.

Ah, Chud. It's gone. Fucking Chud took it. What about that Ben Ben, I think this guy. Did you see that clip of that that fucking dumbass? He's like some chud stand up and he's just being mean to this woman and she's just like she handles it well. She just stares at him the whole time. Yeah. I told Becker that. Yeah. He's losing it. He can't handle her just like looking at him. And so he yes, makes up a bunch of stuff. Acts like she wants him arrested. I told Becker last week that. I wanted to try and recreate that clip at the show in Longmont. I wore a very small white shirt, and I was all excited to try to, if everybody would have known about it, I probably could have set it up pretty quickly and just gotten a clip,

but none of the comics had seen it, because it had only been online for a few days, two or three days. So they didn't know what I was talking about. And then the crowd was mostly older whites. So I don't think, I don't know if they would have seen it either. So it would have been hard for the clip to come together with with nobody in the room kind of knowing what I was talking about. So I didn't go. I didn't try to do it.

And now, you know, I'm not going to do any shows until we go to Chicago on the 14th. So I think that will be too late to try to get a clip there. I saw someone, some stand up. I don't remember who it was. I saw a clip where they like cut the reaction shot of her into his clip. And that's funny. I wish I thought of that. She was reacting to his stand-up.

That was funny. I don't know. I think it all works out. Like, when you act like that, you draw in, like, the freakiest psychos on the internet. And they could turn on you at any minute. Kind of like the Trump thing where his, like, old followers are just trying to kill him all the time now. So I have to believe it'll work out. There's seven different people that are headed towards D.C.

or Mar-a-Lago. Yeah. I wonder how many assassination attempts there have been that we don't even know about. Oh, yeah. There's like four we know about.

Yeah, there was there's been a lot of people that have been like, none of, no Republicans tried to kill Obama. And it's like, bitch, I would imagine there were so many

thwarted attempts that news, like journalists just didn't see, didn't see the point in talking about it, or because that, you know, some of the some of these more liberal outlets maybe didn't want to give anybody ideas.

But for whatever reason, it wasn't in the news, but it doesn't mean that, come on, there weren't any Chud the Builders trying to fucking put together a plan. I'm sure. I just think they always. And I think that they would always, like there were those guys in, I wish it was Iowa. I don't think it was. I think there were like four dudes in Kansas that were intent on going and killing him. but then they always have to like Google how to kill a president or like they go to like a chat room and they're like hey are there any other patriots in here and then there's always like an FBI guy you know like that's got to be a giant part of counterterrorism is these agents online infiltrating you know just scanning for troublesome posts or people and then they just yeah they're like oh yeah don't don't worry I'll be there with the bombs and

the guns and then they get arrested. With that Kansas, that crew, one of them smacked around his old lady like the night before. That was it. I think they were already onto him, but then he also blew it because he like beat the shit out of his wife

or girlfriend and then she told the cops like they're going to try to kill. They're trying to go to D.C. He's just stressed out on account of killing the president tomorrow. I don't want to press any charges officer. Give him some slack. He was just pre-game and he was pre-gaming for his assassination attempts.

I actually think they, I might, I might be thinking about some guys that just wanted to do, not just, but it wasn't an Obama thing. I think they wanted to do something in their town or state, like they wanted to blow up a church or synagogue or something. And they just, they, yeah, they tried to talk too much shit, told too many people about it. and then it backfired because they couldn't just fucking make it happen like the Saudis. I mean, the Saudis fucking, they didn't start blabbing. They went to a strip club or whatever, but they didn't tell everybody what they were going to do.

No, they kept it pretty under wraps. Kept it close to the suicide vest. Nice. Save it for the July 3rd at Comedy Works downtown. Yeah, I feel like any chat room you go in now, it's just going to be FBI. CIA, Israel, Russia,

bots. That's what the internet is. It's just internet operations. Don't assume strangers are fucking who they say

they are. Why the fuck? You have no idea. Go outside and meet a friend. And don't try to assassinate anyone. I'm going to ride my bike. Unless it's a live show.

Especially me. Yeah. Oh, God. A big truck just went by. I wish you had enough motion for someone to want to kill you,

Lund. I think a couple people want to kill me, but I don't think they actually will. I ate right before this. Megan made a nice salad, but we also had a Detroit-style pizza, frozen pizza. And we made this Velvita, Rotel, tomato and green chili, and Italian sausage dip, and it's finally gone. Did you dip your pizza in the cheese dish dish? No. No?

No, not even the crust. No. But. Was it one of those? Finally, that dip is. Yeah. Nice. Yeah, those are good.

But I didn't have any salad. Oh, there it is. I kind of have like the avatar, the last airbender era from my bald spot. I look like a hang. It's a tree. Damn. You've got like a Christmas tree. It feels nice.

I look like I'm mad someone's talking. to my sister though you get my my sister said you gave her a hand gave him a fuck I can't even rip my hair my hair had on my power

my sister give you a hand job at sleep token did you go to the sleep token show did you go to the Melania Trump movie with my sister that's a fun date the Melania movie and sleep token who's that person I bet they're out there.

Sleep token is MAGA music. Fuck that band. I don't know. They're bad. And their name is just Roofies. The sleep token is just Rufies in my head. That's if you want entry to the sleep over, you need a sleep token. Otherwise, you're sleeping outside.

Yeah. You don't get any of the Detroit-style deep dish. Oh, fuck. There's a jet. here someone told me there's a jet's pizza are there jets pizzas in colorado do you guys know i don't think so there might be like one

i guess i think they're used i think maybe there used to be one in the springs oh there's one in denver one in boulder one in broomfield there's one in colorado springs and stets and hills too yeah that was it good i'm that's good

is it a detroit thing or all over it's a Detroit style they have a good Detroit style yeah those frozen ones it's hard to recreate because it's i think a big part of the Detroit style crust is the oven being at like 650 oh yeah so i go like 50 degrees over what the package says because i'm afraid to light the cardboard on fire but you got to like caramelize the cheese on the crust yeah Mm-hmm. Blast that thing. Most pizzas you want to blast.

Not the cauliflower crust. You got to be careful. Those are delicate. We get those more than the Detroit style. It's more of an everyday pizza, the cauliflower crust. They're pretty small. It's a small and light. You have it with a salad.

Yeah. And then you feel good. It's not like this. This fucking. Trying to get the cheese, sausage. dip out of the pan and the bowls that we've heated up in. It's like, oh, God, this is inside of me. Yeah.

I ate spackle. Yeah, it's not going to leave. It's a part of me now. I'm trying to be a good little boy until our trip next week. Chicago's a good place to indulge. It's like 11 days we're together, so 10 days. Damn. I know I'm going to go fucking animal style a couple of times.

Yeah, I went crazy. I was going to bring some cabbage soup. I forgot to tell you I ate a whole milk bar cake by myself in L.A. One of the nights. Yeah, they had that new carrot cake and I was going to share it. But then it was really good. How big was it? How big of a...

I mean... The cake. Like that big around and like that doll. Nice. Nice. Did you slice it as you ate it or did you just kind of take a fork to it as you went? I initially started with a knife and then decided that was just silly. That gave the illusion there would be sharing.

Yeah. Respect. I just ate a Popeye's chicken sandwich and I feel diarrhea coming. Nice. Is there Popeye's in Greeley or were you in Fort Collins? There's one. There's not one in Fort Collins, and there is one in Greeley. Oh, okay. So take that for Collins. Yeah.

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Oh, yeah, so you started seeing this woman before you left. So you had to do the long distance thing or what? Did you guys talk a lot? Yeah, we talked a lot most days. That's nice. So it's just a few months old, the relation. Yeah. But you guys knew each other for a while.

For years, yeah. You were friends. Yeah, that's nice. I like that. Yeah, it's really nice. When I lived with Sam and Fort Collins, I got dinner with her one time, and I thought it was like a business dinner. You brought your resume.

I brought a Rolodex. And an attach. Yeah, I had my phone on a belt clip. And she's like, I thought we were going to start dating then. And I was like, I'm so fucking stupid. Oh, man. But it worked out how it worked out. I'm happy.

Wait, but that was like a couple years ago? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Well, maybe it wasn't the right time, and now it is. No need to worry about that. No, I just thought it was funny.

Yeah, that you thought it was a job interview for some reason. Yeah. We were talking business and eating hamburgers. Fuck, I'm hungry now. No hamburgers for me. What other stuff have you guys? What other stuff have you guys been eating? I've been eating a lot of kuskous.

I like kuskous. Nice. What do you do with it? It's nice side. Had some salmon with some kuskous and some Greek yogurt and some spinach last night. It was really good. It almost sounds like orphan food. It's better.

than a big porridge of slop. Yeah. I can't imagine. I mean, I eat big bowls of bullshit, but it's, it like appeals to a human palate.

Yeah. They're just trying to get their nutrients. They're nutrient pill. They're like, we got to get our protein. Yeah. Emily has, Emily's gotten used to

vegan living for years. So within that, she can, enjoy it. But yeah, if you just are shoved a bowl of lentils and cabbage, it's hard to be like, yum. Yeah. Yeah, maybe I'm a little picky. I don't know. I don't remember. You're going to the gym? Yeah, I was going to the gym a lot in Detroit. I was working out with a bunch of old black guys that wore like big jean shorts and had cell phones on belt loops on the treadmill. Yeah. And I miss that. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things here. But it's not, it's not. It's not. It's.

sucks going to the gym in your hometown and you have to see like people you went to high school with every time you go to the gym. People that slurped you. People that I wish. I didn't get slurped in high school. Are you kidding me? I was playing U-Gi-Oh. Oh, okay.

So. I was a late bloomer. People called me Andy Milanakis in high school until my senior year. I didn't have a beard yet. Derogatory. Yeah. Not in a cool way. Yeah.

Shut out Earl's sweatshirt. Derogatory. If you catch that reference, you're my friend, listeners. I didn't get it. Internet rap beef. Yeah. Oh, okay. There was a rapper who said he wanted Chud the builder to try the shit that he's been doing in Memphis,

and it sounded like a threat. And it's like, all right, yeah. Does he go? Probably not. I pulled it up, it mostly looked like threats back to him. Like I didn't see any posts without it being like a reaction with like the headline making it clear. It was like come to my fucking town. Yeah.

Oh yeah. He's making a lot of enemies. Yeah. And then he acts like he's just that he's a patriot. It's so insane to have any of that thinking. Like, oh yeah, this is this is what the founding fathers meant. And it's like not to say that they weren't racist. but I think they were trying to lay out some freedoms versus being a fucking troll about it.

Mm-hmm. And triggering people. You trigger somebody with a musket, you better not miss because it's going to take you a 10 minutes to reload. Yeah. It's true. You had to be more careful with your shit talking and your aiming. You had to mean it. You had to act like you weren't going to shoot the guy.

You're like, no, no, no, I'm going to shoot this musket at somebody else. else. I'm going to watch the Patriot now. Oh, God. Yeah, Megan and I talk about how we can't really watch Braveheart or the Patriot because you don't want to watch Mel Gibson. He's a good actor, man. Yeah, but you just think about him on the side of the road, wasted, talking shit, being

an asshole. Him and Shud the building. Spraying it. Spring End. First Amendment style. Passion of the Christ to win with Shut the builder. That's coming. I think there's going to be another one with AI.

AI Gizo. People are dating AIs now. That's another thing that's happening. People are falling in love with with predictive models. God. So funny. They're falling in love with like Reddit comments

that have been coming. from the internet. It's so embarrassing. Did you watch that? Was it 60 Minutes thing? Like two weeks ago? About AI. About people dating AI. I think it was 60 minutes. It could have been some other fucking news magazine TV show. But dude, it was horribly sad because like half of them were dipshits that were just like, I don't know. It seems like it knows me.

And then the other half were sadder, who were guys who were like, I know I'm being manipulated. I sleep better. Better than nothing. My life's better. I have like something to do when I go home after work and it's just like getting jack off instructions from Claude. Yeah, but there's some like the guys who are just like buying into it, understanding like the Faustian deal

they're making is so much grosser than the dudes who are just like I don't know, it's like a real lady. I ask her questions and she tells me I'm pretty cool. And then the other dude is just like, yeah, I understand it's a language model and it's just repeating things at me, but it feels good. It's a living. I never thought there'd be like a new kind of thing that made me think Polly people were less weird. At least they're like interacting with other humans. People are going to be Polly with this shit.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm dating. Claude, Chad, G. Marilyn Monroe. Yeah. Sidney, Sweeney, Amy Winehouse. Jessica,

Jessica Rabbit. Well, wait now. Claude Lemieux. I'm in a relationship with Claude Lemieux. Red Arbock. And Tupac. Yeah, I'm helping, I'm helping Red Auerbach coach the Celtics to another victory.

To another championship. Then he, then he, Then he glorps me. 101-1-0-0. The young folks that are chatting with these bots is scary too because they don't. Like you're saying, the saddest adult knows or convinces themselves otherwise, but they, you know, they know. Yeah.

Now and then they can fucking remember that. But when you're young, I don't know. They don't. They're not handling it. it well. Especially when some of them tell you to kill themselves, yes. Because they're so trained to like continue the conversation and not so they're not going to like give you the truth or tell you to go outside. So they just kind of reinforce whatever you're thinking. Yeah. And if these people are sad and angry, then the replies I think kind of put foster that or yes,

yes, you're right. You know, you're you're told that you're correct and smart so that you keep engaging. That's so fucked, man. There has to be a reckoning. I just, I don't know how gross it's going to get before it, you know, or if it'll be too late and just a bunch of people will be lost and damaged. Shut out to China. They made it illegal for people to lose their jobs to AI. It's illegal to lose your job to AI in China.

So I'm moving there. Shish here. The noodles would be pretty cranking. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, let's get the Wuhan boys. Wide World Wuhan. I've thought about it. One of us would go to jail.

As cool as it be to go see all the crazy shit they're hiding in China, like beautiful natural wonders. Somebody's gonna fuck up. What? How? What do you mean? I don't know. We're eyesores.

We'd be laughing too loud in the sacred place. Somebody had fart in a hallway that echoed and they'd just be taken. I don't know. It's very not clear. how much like just being a tourist is okay or how much needs to be like very clear reverence to them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know about the government.

But I think most people are chill. I'm sure a lot of them hate Americans, but people are the same everywhere. I know that Megan told me that like a lot of TikTok a few years ago was people in China being like, wait, what? it really is like that over there in America because they thought they were getting a bunch of propaganda that was not based in reality. It was too extreme. Yeah, that they were really, that the Chinese government was having fun with some of the depictions of American life and that it was laughable.

And they were like, wait, for real. So like there was a lot of sympathy from regular like Chinese folks towards the plight of Americans. So that's. And meanwhile, you know, same thing with us where we. think it's really bad over there from top to bottom. And it's not. There's some actual good that is done. And then there is a trade. I mean, that's what we always talk about here is, should there be a tradeoff of security for giving up some freedoms? And people are mixed about that. And over there, it's like they actually do just kind of do it. And a lot of it is for the best

for a bunch of people. And then sometimes it is not fair. And then sometimes it is not fair. there's still, you know, like brutal crackdowns on minorities within Chinese culture. So like that's not. And the social score thing is crazy. I don't know how how that's going to be everywhere probably. I mean, like social media kind of already is that in a lot of ways. They're using it. So much more opportunity to do things if you have a following on Instagram.

That's kind of like just the social currency already or whatever it's called. Yeah, but they're already keeping people like off the subway because they have a low social score. They did a, they shot a snod out of their nose or something so they can't get on the train. Yeah. Or are you like working polite at your last purchase? Yeah. Yeah. And then you go to use your train pass.

And I watched them interviewing a young lady. And the translation was her just being like, I didn't even know what I did. And I queefed once. I thought I was alone. Yeah. And I didn't know how to get home. It's a long train. to my house and it's like

fuck damn yeah is that was that temporary no they've like they say just started rolling it out and I don't think they owe anybody an explanation but did they say like could that woman oh it did be able to ride the train in a week or a month or something if her

score increased like she had to like really be on her peas and cues she had to be pretty she was too ugly yeah if she ate chill and farted in public and her score went down another little notch or something. Like she still might not be allowed back.

Yeah. It's like a weird fluctuating score thing. I just imagined everybody like hears a phone go off and it lets them know that that person is like very low socially. So then they just smack her in the back of the head as she walks home. Shame. Everybody kicks her in the butt or smacks her in the back of the head. They're like shoves her.

Shame. Man, this stinks. that would be tough especially because we'd have so many people over here that would just be wrecked yeah any of that any of that stuff that's kind of hidden if it were brought to light be like ugh it would be too much we would not to know a bunch about people's like failings social failings they're they're tipping habits whether or not they say thank you yeah they put did they talk about i saw a clip where there was like at the train station they would would put pictures of people up on screens in China that showed like who was blowing it.

Whoa. It was like the chud of the week and it was like seven people's faces and names. Damn. Yeah. The local ranking. They were all getting pants. There's literally a black mirror episode of that. I mean, like pedophiles and rapists, maybe you should put up on the wall.

Another demographic that should be shot on site. Um, but I don't know. It's weird. People need to figure out what freedom even means. I don't, it's such a loaded word. For me, freedom is being able to afford to pay rent and having health care. Right. Not being able to say whatever the fuck I want to all the fucking time and being a little

cunt bitch to everyone in public. Right. Yeah, I got to be crazy if we were over there in China. Living it up wide style. I'm down too, but if that young lady got told no more train, we're not allowed on ever. Yeah, we'd be screwed. It'd be cool to get social scores and then see how they progress throughout the time. Oh, yeah.

We're there. I don't think. Who gets to come home. Dude, most of us would have to buy, like, new phones to enter with. You wouldn't want them scanning what you've done on your phone. These two YouTubers. These two YouTubers do this series. The first one was they drove from the bottom of Japan all the way to the top on motorcycles.

Nice. And then they just did China. And they did like the south of China all the way to Mongolia. And they didn't, they had no phones. So they like spent six weeks learning Chinese. And it was cool watching their Chinese progress through the whole two and a half weeks or whatever it took them. But it looked lovely. There were a few people that were like, fuck Americans.

but everyone seemed nice to them. I don't know. Maybe it's because they're like famous YouTubers. I don't know. No, I think they're not concerned with us. We're just a... Yeah, they have their own social media stars. Yeah, we're just a guy who owes them a bunch of money for a bag we got fronted.

Yeah. Yeah. They got too much going on. They have like whole ghost cities that they're trying to populate, but no one will fuck. Hmm. Like the panda. we're not so different from the animals do you want to

plug any shows Patrick before we say goodbye to our lovely audience Colost Patrick podcast follow me on Instagram at Patrick.piss be on the lookout for Wideworld we're back thank you for being patient how many death threats have you received

none everyone's been pretty cool that's good I think we kind of tried to let people know hey, like, Pat wants to do these, but he's in a weird space with him and you needed a break. Last year was a bad year for me. I'm in a much better place now. Now that you're getting slurped from Marvin the Mart. You're actually dating an AI of Marvin the Martian. I don't know if you knew that.

Patrick. Very nice. Come to space. Did he have a dog? He did. Yeah. I'm actually dating slow poke Rodriguez. Oh, no.

I'm slow poke Rodriguez. What are you doing? You're going too fast. That's the best Looney Tunes character. Yeah. Well, and you're back to doing ratio every Wednesday, correct? Yeah, yeah. Had a good one.

I asked the crowd if they had a vape. on Wednesday and knowing this traveling nurse in the crowd. She was like, I have an albuterol inhaler. So I hit her albuter all inhaler on stage. That was cool. There's a free show every Wednesday. Ratio Beer Works, Denver, Colorado on Lermer Street. Come on down.

Say out of me and Kobose. And Corey and Corey. Yeah, sure. I already mentioned July 3rd, but I might as well say it again. Comedy Works downtown. Tickets available. excited to not have to try to get people to come after Sam Talent comes to town and has six shows sell out. It's the night before the fourth.

So some people will not be in town. My birthday is July 23rd. Okay. MJ. And I was talking about celebrating my comedy anniversary, which is like end of June. So this will be kind of like a follow up to passing 22 years in stand-up. Yeah, so I'm excited. Hopefully people will come and spread the word and get tickets now so that I can enjoy the buildup as opposed to just being terrified.

Because last time, despite all of the Bronco night game, it fucking snowed. It was Thanksgiving weekend. It was maybe a little more than half full. So I was okay with that. But this time, I don't have as many excuses or factors against me. So I really hope that we can fill it up. If not sell it out, fill it up. If we get close, that would be great.

And maybe we shoot it. That is TBD. But what? Elena Banfield special is going to be out on Sam T's YouTube channel. Untouchable coming on June 7th. And you edited that, correct? Did you shoot it? I did not.

You edited. It's the worst word. It just keeps going. it a lot. I have to say it all the time. As an editor, yeah. I hate it. I edit it. Yeah, I'm excited for that. I'm, I'm sure Bamer is looking forward to that. And I'm glad you're able to be a part of that. Yeah. Help that come to life. It'll be a tough watch. I know that, but I trust that. I watched it about 400 times. It was your whole life. Yeah. But yes, I trust that it's very, right. I trust that it's got to be very, very, very funny along with being heavy and personal.

Yeah, it works on. And that's, oh yeah, June 7th. All right. Anything else? Becker? No, please go to our Patreon. Sam's going to be on it this week. So if you miss,

if you miss Sam right now, Sam, I will be putting up an episode probably pretty late on Sunday tomorrow with Sam on it on the Patreon. And hopefully we get that live stream going on his YouTube again. And it's been tough since we haven't been together. And he keeps forgetting he can't live stream from hotel Wi-Fi. So hopefully we can figure that out.

He really believes in Hotel Wi-Fi. We both know this. Yeah, he really thinks it should just work like home Wi-Fi. And we told them, you know, he thought that paying for it was a scam. And it's like, no, I think that's the only catch is that if you want it to work to any real degree, you have to pay. Yeah. So we'll probably take advantage of that. More going forward.

But yeah, hopefully we'll see in Chicago, either Zanis. Me and Sam and Becker, May 14th, 15th, 16th, I think, in Rosemont, and then 17th, 18th in Old Town, something like that. Samtallant.com. Patriot.com slash chubby behemoth. Yeah. And bye. Bye.