Chubby Behemoth - Whacking It To Lambchop

Episode Date: February 17, 2025

SPONSORS: HIMS - Support the show and start your free Hims visit today. Head to https://www.hims.com/CHUBBY   FACTOR - Support the show and get 50% off your first Factor box, plus free shipping. Use code CHUBBY50OFF at https://www.factormeals.com/CHUBBY50OFF   BONUS EPISODES: https://www.Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth   This week the boys are in Rosemont IL. Sam got a cool new haircut, took his dick hostage, and had a lady feeding him candy. Nathan doesn’t want to be leashed, isn’t really floating, and sometimes wants his chunks whipped. You can’t overdose on dinner. That’s that knowledge.   Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   Mutiny Coffee: [e-mail]

Check. Chuck. Yo, yo, hey, yo, hey, hey, hey, whoa, hey, hey, hey. So we have to take it kind of easy in here because the hotel manager came over and told us that the residents of this extended stay near the Chicago airport actually voted to outlaw laughing. So we have to, it said that it reminds them of better times. Uh, when laughter doesn't belong here. Yeah. Laughter holds no quarter here.

We came here because laughter wasn't enough. That's how a lot of the guys feel laughter couldn't save them. That's what, that's how it started. You know, the first thing she did was laugh, you know, Oh, how they laugh. Oh, how they laughed, you know, when she was working at that Barnes and Noble in Logan Square. Sarah! Yeah, she had those cool glasses that he just loved, because Lisa Loeb was at the top of the VH1 charts. Edna! Yeah, so he walked up and he said, Edna, hey, I've never seen that name besides on grandmothers.

And she said, I hear that all the time. Well, he wanted to hear that voice for the rest of his life And then cut to 22 years later She's throwing his bobblehead doll collection out of a moving car window That was Carl you're stramski He's been eating dog medication just to feel something less bad Now I'll know she's she doesn't know she doesn't want to come back. I'll know that it's over if she destroys Mark Grace.

She takes Mark from me. Is this Mark Grace? No, with a bat. Yep. Signed by Ryan Sandberg. This is a bleak place. And there was police here earlier, oh yeah Yeah, just when some guy thought I couldn't get any fucking worse When we walked past the one cop was explaining what was going to happen when the other cops got theirs

Yeah, they were waiting for more. Oh, no, I actually thought to myself Well, there's two of them. So the guy just hasn't paid rent, you know for it's been ten days or whatever They it's right in the fucking name extended stay It's not extended leave Where else am I gonna go? Huh? She changed locks. She got the cabin in the settlement That was my bug out plan She got the the cabin but she didn't get the lean to. Hold on I have a text message. Oh fuck. She got the fucking lean to. Where am I supposed to go? My trucks not big enough. It hurts my ankles. Yeah these dudes are losers. We're surrounded by losers, man. I would assume.

We didn't have much evidence. We haven't run into too many people. The cars don't move much. No where to go. Well, you got a Target and a subway and a great clip, so you don't have to drive much to get what you need. You got a smoke shop where you can buy overpriced cigarettes and a great clip where you can get award-winning haircuts like this.

Hello, everyone. It's me, the Thumb. Smoke Shop where you can buy overpriced cigarettes and a great clips where you can get award-winning haircuts like this Hello everyone. It's me the thumb Welcome to my seminar. I look like I'm transitioning either way No one sure but they know the sports bra is involved probably Becker's isn't bad Becker's looks great. I turned up pretty good. I Need to wash it and see what it does. Dude. Probably fall out. I got butt fucked so bad in there.

You look funny. I look like Travis Thickel. That's what I said on stage. You said it on stage? Yeah, uh huh. They liked everything but that. Oh yeah, that was fine, that was fair. Yeah, it was too contrived.

They probably thought that you meant to say Bickel and have a lisp, had a lisp, had a stroke. Yeah, well I did say great lips when I started telling them the story. I figured I didn't hear the first time you said it, but I heard the follow up that you downloaded the app. Yeah, a lot. It was spread them great. That was good. Yeah. No, I mean, sometimes I take that red bull and I sip it and then I pound a little before I go

on and then my mouth is just moving too fast for all the riffs. It's one thing when you're like repeating things but when you're just like going off the dome you know spitting that knowledge as we call it. Yeah no so I did say that up there and they were like okay so I guess it's not all made up Travis Thickel. What's the rain gonna come? But we went over there I got the great clips app because they told us hey if you're gonna come to great clips we need your phone number and date of birth. I said okay this used to be a real lot more anonymous. Great clips used to be like a truck stop bathroom. Cash only. Yeah it's cash only. No one knew your name. You put your head

through the hole. Someone cut it. cash only no one knew your name. You put your head through the hole someone cut it You never saw their face. Everybody's name tag had quotation marks around the name because it was a pseudonym, right? Yeah, then you give a fake name. Hi, I'm Pierre. Yeah, and I'm Yolanda. Sit down Stop talking take your glasses off. He won't see your head until I'm done with it So yeah, we get in there and there's two just fucking aged crones just muttering. Yeah, sit down. They were haggard. Yeah, they were babushkas. They were women who had strong forearms and very small feet. Becker sits down, he's like, I know what I'm doing. I'm like, I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do, dude. What should I do? You like, I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do dude. What should I do?

You said I don't know maybe do a three. Yeah three or two would be good on you. I said, alright man So I'm I'm like, well, maybe I'll come up with a better plan. But no these two fucking women It's like one they're just both gonna butcher me, you know, I can't communicate to them how hot I was in 2004 Right, you know, they'll never understand. Yeah. They're not going to know fat Mark Hoppus. They're not going to get that reference. Uh, you know, so we sit down and I'm like, all right, I'm just going to take the bullet. First chair comes open. I go sit down. The lady's like, and I'm like, uh, yeah, I mean, I guess all over and she's like so as soon as I fucking get that cape on fucking swinging dick, suave, seat walks out of the back, one of the smoothest

operators and all of greater rose bond. I mean dude was a stud. His hair was perfect. His glasses were perfect. He was four foot ten. He was a compact hair cutting machine and I was like no she was a compact hair cutting machine and I was like no no fuck. No Becker gets the good guy. I got the good guy. Yeah. He's like, Oh, why don't you pop down in the chair? Smooth Ricky, I'm gonna make you nice and slick and you were like, I want to fade and he's like, I know what you need and I'm about to lay it on you. I was like, Oh fuck. We know. Meanwhile, the ladies

over there is like, do you want straight or curve on back? And I was like, I don't know, and she's like, I'll do both. And I was like, very good. Fantastic. You couldn't even acknowledge that that was the worst thing she could have said was both? I don't know, dude. I'm 37 years old and I don't know how to ask for a haircut.

That both thing was nuts though, cause she literally said this when he said, I don't know. She went for a haircut that both thing was nuts though cuz she yeah She could literally said this when he said I don't know she went like this with these little baby hairs And then looked at him in the face and went I do both Dude up until I was like 28. I literally would tell her I want the little boy haircut That's what I would say cuz that's what my mom always called it I'd be like the tickle move was so weird though Like she couldn't see your hair. Yeah, she was running around in there. I think she found something she ate Yeah, so I don't get a see I just take my glasses off then I hear clippers come on Becker's getting a

Fucking haircut. I'm getting shorn and dined. Yeah I mean you probably could have 69. Yeah. Yeah that guy. I don't knoworn. He's getting wine and dined. Yeah. I mean, he probably could have 69. Yeah. Yeah, that guy, I don't know. He was married to one of them. He was married to the other one who wasn't cutting my hair. And then all that I understood the lady say was the man's wife greeted him, welcome back from lunch.

And mine went, I think he was cheating. And then they all laughed. Yeah, they're having fun in there. Yeah, well I wasn't. I take my glasses off. The next thing I know I put them back on. Well, they're having fun in there. Yeah. Well, I wasn't I take my glasses off the next thing I know I have fun instead of doing a good job. They have fun. You leave happy You don't see your haircut till you get to your mirror at home Ideally and it's too late. I was like, oh good. My head matches my penis fantastic

Meanwhile Becker show them what you got. I got a decent haircut. He never showed me the back For the best. Yeah, he did straight and curved nice. Yeah both. He actually carved a penis into the back of your head It says white socks forever Yeah, he was great. But yeah, it is scary sitting down and taking your glasses off and just being like Let me see it that blur is shorter. It says, listen to mud vein. You look like Bobby thick pen. You look like pig pen. You look like shit. You have a bunch of dirt on you. Do you want dirt in your hair, sir? You're like, yeah, thank you. Sure. Like an exfoliate cost extra. Oh yeah. No, fine. Yeah. She just put dirt in your hair cost extra. Oh yeah, no fine. Yeah,

she just put dirt in your hair. Yeah, it wasn't even mud. Most haircuts involve a spritz of water like a spray bottle. Mine was fucking dry. Yeah, she never put an ounce of water on my head. Huh? Yeah. Meanwhile, you're getting fucking lubed up over there, spritz and blow dry. Yeah, he took your fucking head to water world and then I'm just over there just getting just raw, just carving scabs. I was like you like it. They paid her in hair. I mean she was for sure making fucking potions with whatever she collected off my head.

God damn it. And I buy paid for your haircut. You know, thank you very much. I didn't want to. I've made the reservation for both of us and then I had to pay together because the computer started smoking Oh, yeah, I realized that's what was going on Yeah, and I was just over there like looking at what the fuck she did to me. Meanwhile, I'm watching you over there You know, you're about to go to the red carpet for coolest hair for a bald guy And I'm like, oh, yeah, I'd love to pay for this twice, sure. Guts wasn't there.

I can vent while you have no idea. I knew to stay away because I think I talked years ago about Grey Clips and Denver South Broadway. I went there, I said, who gives a shit? I was at the lowest point in my life. No, I knew, I just didn't care. I thought I wasn't going to care enough to not get a haircut. It was right there. So I go. It was so bad. It was laughably bad. I could have excused so many

outcomes, you know, but instead, you know, just, it was so funny when she stopped, when she said, ah, we're finished. I was like, okay. I couldn't believe it. It was just lopsided and it was just funny. It obviously looked like it needed more. There wasn't a big line. She wasn't like, oh, I'm really in the shit here. Sorry to say. Tickets appearing. She's ripping them down.

Yeah. Top people with eight, eight singles. Just like, I'm, I'm, I demand to go to the front of the line. Your website was down and no, was like please take any amount more time and fix this But no, I just laughed and got out of there went about my day I'm not done. I just thought it was funny and it was it was it looked funny, but it was short So I knew in like four days it was gonna grow grow out enough that it would, it would be just a fun memory. Oh, how we laughed me and Julia. It was, I

told the lady, I was, she was like, I didn't go. I wanted to, I didn't want to have to be like, no, I didn't have to dive in, dive in between the back of your head and the clippers. And you're like, what happened? happened I'm like I just saved your ass you're gonna hit your bonus you're our Vita sub bonus yeah I have to now do this I don't know if people could tell during the patreon episode but I could not get comfortable and then I was like oh just sit in the front it sucked it felt like I was being tortured you sat back further I did that in the last one and it sucks. You want to switch me? No, it might be fun. This is good. I could sit. But if you put your tailbone against the back

of the couch, then you can go feet straight out. Like you're on a log. This is going to work the way you think it does. It's a fucking mystery. It's crazy over here. There's some weird void. It's liminal. This is a liminal space. I'm both alive and dead right now. Yeah, that's what you said last night right before I went on stage. I think I'm dead. Yeah. No, I said, who cares? You're like, how were they? And I was like, I don't know, man. This is nuts. This is fucking meaningless. What are we doing? And you were like, all right. I was ready to laugh. this is fucking meaningless. What are we doing? And you were like, all right.

Yeah. Yesterday was weird. I felt weird. Couldn't really describe it. Like, what are we even fucking doing? What's the point of any of this? I'm like, okay, I'm going to get a haircut tomorrow. I said, why would you, who cares? It's going to grow after you're dead anyway. Isn't that crazy? It's going to grow after you're dead anyway. Isn't that crazy? Mine's still growing. Yeah. How's your hair doing? Like oh, just in case we're not dead, I should probably keep doing my job in case his ears keep getting colder. I told the

lady I was like yeah, I'm going bald, so I don't know what to do. I guess a three all over and she went oh yes, like she's heard this so many times. I man coming to terms with it and she was like, Oh, you have not had haircut in a long time. And I said, No, it grows fast. I had a haircut in December and she was like, who cut your hair? And I was like, one of my sister's friends. She gave me a stylish cut and she went start eating my hair. I mean, look, great clips was a step up for me. I used to get my hair cut at Walmart super centers. That was my go-to when I lived in Vegas. Oh I was gonna say

for Collins no dude I mean I've had my hair cut at Walmart's in multiple cities nation one yeah it was always like eight dollars. It was woman who didn't speak any English. She would like rub you down because she came from a culture where they brought good luck. You know, she'd like scalp massage. Yeah, I went to the one in Windsor, Colorado all the time. Got my haircut. Windsor.

I've never done a Walmart haircut. Yeah, because you guys are vain. You're precious, I don't care. I've done many great clips, haircuts, and been mad about almost everything. Then why weren't you in the system, Becker? Why did I have to register if you're? Because they put me in as Jake T

Jakey T. They thought I was a talent. They thought we were a gay couple today. Did they really? Yeah, I think that explains things Okay, cuz I did stand behind you until you look great as he cut your hair Which that was my first inkling that you hated George because you were also You were a blur to me with my glasses off too. So you just looked skinny with short hair in the mirror. And then you- Someone was holding up unleavened bread dough behind you. And then you asked, you can't see your hair when they're cutting it either, huh? And I was like, oh, he's not happy.

Why would I be happy, Becker? Look what they did to your boy. Get ready for a surprise. Yeah, Becker, where do you get a load of me? Oh, you almost killed me last night, dude. So yeah, you have this like whole existential thing and then feel weird. The sec is the sets make me feel even weirder. Yeah. I was just like, all right, I guess I'm riding this train. Yeah.

And then my alive or dead, right? It my alive or dead, at my alive or dead Right it yeah, it was crazy. Yeah, Alex the club manager said yeah when you went on stage He just went on like a four-minute nihilistic spiel and I really felt for him. I was like yeah, we talked this morning He's okay, but we after the shows we eat a couple of these bang. What are they called bang daddy? Dang, baby dang baby gummies. Yeah. Shout out to our very good friend whose name will not be mentioned But yeah, you hooked this up with some gummies. I ate that before the merch line. I go out there shake everyone's hand Come back. I'm like, so dude what happened? What was your deal? And you're like, I don't know man like it's felt disconnected

It's like it's like I was floating over the crowd and I went, what? And you went, well, not physically almost dumped my bag. My fucking brain spread open and my soul flew out of it and became pure light. I left so hard. Well, yeah, it's like, no shit. You didn't float over the crowd. Really giggling about me just closing the site with check this out. And then I just watch this go into the watch this go into this go into the go into the

sky for like six feet. Go over the crowd like floating above them looking at them like, huh? Pretty good, huh? Aerilingus. Yeah, you're up there wearing it for 24 minutes knowing you can fly. Listen, I don't like you and you don't like me. But watch this. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm And then I have to follow that. You flow over the crowd. Yeah, and I'm like, what's going on out there?

It's like a stunned silence. I walk out there, people are like. Oh yeah. What does it mean? Yeah, we hated him, but he's gone. Why can he fly? What the fuck? Can I fly?

He's not even funny. Why can he then fly? He was jumping off their chairs, landing on the ground like, ah, he could fly. I can't. I want my money back. I hurt myself. I'm not paying for this. No refunds. I thought I could fly to Becker has to come out and just like kind of like gently like pull you down. You used to land in the back of the room and you're like, all right, walk outside.

You drop a string out of your back pocket to beckon me. Yeah, I buy. All right. Well, I go up there. I'm like, Hey, Rosemont, huh? It was a weird place. Everyone's like, everything is weird. Nothing is the same as before the man flew. We know nothing for sure.

Yeah, that was, it was a weird thing for me to say. Check this out. It was weird for me to say it not physically. Yeah. And then, yeah, immediately everybody's dying laughing. Oh yeah. Whoops. Yeah.

Well, you said it seriously as if I thought you were levitating. What I meant to say was that it wasn't so intense that I, I said I felt disembodied and you thought that meant that I felt an out of body experience where my, you're watching your consciousness was up above my body watching me Yeah, and I was like no not like that. It wasn't that serious. Thank God. Yeah No, I mean I get it man. Sometimes my belly sometimes you get away from it Remember this Wow, that's what Becker saw in the mirror when he looked at my head one's got oh he is this is a nightmare well sit be water boarded just dump

water on my mouth and nose make me think I'm drowning it's insane have you been sleeping okay and it's pretty rough that is weird great the first night I slept great cuz I was high and tired last Uh-huh. Last night you're hired Yeah last night I was sick. So I don't know if it was the bad or me just not feeling good I was there once I got it all out of me. I slept really hard for three hours. You bearfed Yeah a bunch you were and you almost you went that way first and say I was like get out I'm jerking it No, that didn't happen. I went and you heard the rescue rangers theme song. Chippendale, you're like you're jacking it to what?

Get out. A little airplane. I like a little airplane. Lamb chop just ended. The hands do it for you. Whacking it to lamb chop. The extended stay near the airport nothing would riot Everything's wrong. What what happened? I was gonna go into your room, but I thought you knew better I thought I just had to like crap and didn't feel good. Well, we established protocol. I was like, oh no

I'm gonna hurl and I threw on a shirt in my shoes Sockless and like scuttled over to the lobby bathroom and then did damage. Anybody lobby bathroom. Did anybody see you go in or out? Uh, that breakfast had already started. So people were grabbing the, yeah. Don't eat the omelet.

Yeah, it was bad. They cleaned like the stalls on either side of me and left me alone in there. They didn't even say, are you okay? They just cleaned the rest of the bathroom. They come out to the manager, they're like, there's a couple of guys throwing up in the second stall. It sounds like they're having a tough time in there.

They're having a vomit battle. You come out, you're like, the card on the buffet isn't a typo. It is sausage gravy. It's snout sausage. It's dog food. Oh, yeah, you can only you can use my bathroom if you've been doing good one and two. Well, I was thinking one and bad you have to use lunch three and four are over here. Because you don't have to do them as much so I like that

Yeah, if you have to I'll take I'll take the brunt. I feel like people have been doing three a lot this weekend I haven't three. Yeah, you are wait. I thought three was puke. No, no, no three is jazzing Yeah, jazzers says four is puke four is puke. I've been three. I'm on the springiest bed ever You guys would just hear cartoon back off noises if I was out here I can't hear anything you do in here, and I'm grateful for it. I can hear one somehow though Despite there being a room between ours Your twin like connection this red did first time the first time I ever heard anyone do that I hadn't started jerking off, and I was like I don't get it was everyone laughing. Oh doing the sound. Yeah, actually masturbating. Yeah

No, I didn't someone didn't jerk off in front of all of us and I like what was like hell. Yeah, dude It is Elizabeth hilarious. No, I My upbringing was devoid of sex crimes Just regular on yeah, it's normal crimes look yeah, I'm wearing my jacket everybody. Oh Yeah, show him the jacket big chance in this jacket Give them a spin show the back the back it of the jacket It's a nice dark green It looks like you're in the Navy it's it's caped on the chest

It's case It looks nice. I don't know. I'm surprised you bought it, but it is nice. And then you freaked out about wearing a button-up car heart like it was like you were a class trader. Yeah, I know it was weird like you sold out. Yeah, it was very funny. I'm going through is this heaven or hell and you are like does this jacket look make me look like a nerd? Yes, the jacket make me look like I feel cool because I do feel cool, but I can't let them know that you know What's funny is with the haircut and that jacket you look like a new recruit. Oh basic training shit, man. I'm a cadet Yeah, you're a grunt. Whoa. Oh, yeah, is the Jake an old term for police or a jail?

Jake is an old term for police. He's a cop. He's an individual cop? It was a term for a break on a big truck by seizing the brakes. Jake break. So then I think that was where- I'd like to take a Jake break. Why don't we talk? Hey-o. No, I thought he biffed that.

As he's talking about great lips and whatever. He had another, what was the other one? Stumble? I don't remember. Is that something wrong? Somebody made fun of you? I don't remember that something wrong somebody made funny Yeah, I don't know. It's pure light up there tonight. It was great. I'm glad well The only reason we didn't go out before that was that there weren't seats. Yeah Friday or Saturday, so it was nice to go out there and watch you You know the thing that got the big laugh that I think you were talking about

Where I asked that take your dick hostage was one of oh So funny think you were talking about where I asked that take your dick hostage was one of oh god so funny because there was a cop it's not that much that we were out of his jurisdiction oh yeah there wasn't a lot of blood he pulled a fake gun on you after you had done the yeah be nice if I had a gun up here he did one to you and you're like oh yeah what if we both had him and then you like decided that what if I took my dick? Yeah, well, I mean that's how you could have a shootout you take a hostage But he would have no shot of ever hitting my penis and not hitting my entire body and head and torso Like I'll blow his heads off

What'd you think the thing was the lady in the crowd? I said do you like drugs ma'amam? And she went, he greens out. And I went, my undies brown out. And everyone was like, oh yeah, brown out. I need to have a button. You called her a bitch and then apologized because you called the other woman a bitch and everybody loved it.

This was a different crowd. I said, nice try, bitch. And everybody was like, oh. And you knew. So you're like, yeah and you knew so you're like sorry for you're lovely. Well I mean last night might have been one of my favorite things I've ever done. There was a man in the front row you know an aged man looked like Adam Cain Hall and his father. Johnny H. Johnny H. Not as long of hair. And the man was sitting up there and he was with a woman who looked like the Iron Maiden logos girlfriend

Yeah, she looked like 1981 yeah, it was you had a boner All the way up folded over some kind of cheetah top big dangly earrings Skeletor-esque face She looked like what was the name of that fucking show on Adult Swim? Murder Jail or Planet Prison or Super Jail? Super Jail. She looked like a Super Jail character. Yeah, she kind of looked like that little bad guy in the Masters of the Universe movie.

He had white, like gelled up weird long hair. Yes. She kind of looked like him. She looked like a puppet master puppet too. Yeah, she was fucked. She kind of looked like him. She looked like a puppet master puppet too. Yeah, she was fucked. She was wrecked. But obviously had been, she was probably very pretty.

Probably had a good time down there at Purdue because I do, oh that was fucked too. Do you know about that? I heard about that, yeah. Yeah, so the guy, I say, what do you do, dipshit? You know, some of my patented crowd work. And he's like, I am a professor of criminal justice at Wright College, and I went right college never heard of that And he went you know you probably couldn't get in and I saw red I

Got so fucking seen you wish to know that I spent 25 minutes Just badgering this motherfucker much to the joy of everyone else there He was loving it too. Except for his cop brethren tried to step in. Well, so this happens later on. This evolves naturally. The woman. So, you know, I'm using all my vocabulary words being like, you don't know what the fuck that means. Do you? Anyone heard of this? Jagoffs fake school? What do you teach their date rape? You know, no, I didn't say that. I did say a lot of very next time. Yes, he'll be back big fan. Actually, he bought a

shirt. He did. So he's going to put it onto his target. Yeah, at the at the shooting range. Stop resisting. Take this hostage. Call me a big pig pig who's the pig now paying going any last words that'll do big doing the hard one in the dick yeah so the big the big ending the big dismount is it's The big ending, the big dismount is it's revealed that his lover, the woman, Skeletris, has a martini glass full of gummy bears and peanut M&Ms.

And I'm like, you know, have some fun with that. She also had a glass of wine and a hot chocolate. I was like, make up your mind, you know? Damn, yeah, she's all over the place. Nuts, right? So I'm like, you know, I make fun of her and she was like, well, do you want a candy? I was like, yeah I want a candy and she handed me a peanut M&M and I popped it in my mouth and I went I got your bitch feeding me candy

And Literal like real applause break every comic loves to call one person clapping four times. Oh applause break. Oh watch out. No this was an applause break because it, I don't, were you in there? I was in there. Yes. It was everybody right? Everybody loved it. And we just heard the last line in the green room. You were in the green room. Yeah. We heard that and then the applause was so funny. The amount was so much. Where it was like man everybody loved him calling that woman a bitch. That's art That's art and then as soon as the X we had no idea what happened it was just like I got your bitch feed me candy and then

the biggest eruption of applause It was weird in the green room like what just happened out there what kind of weird Alchemy is he pulling? Everyone was scared. Everyone texted their family. It made me think, god damn, I probably would have been out there watching if I could have. Yeah, it was so tight. Knew that you were loose.

Yeah. You were loose. Yeah, they were so tight. They were packed in. Anger might be the best fuel for me on stage. Or if I do good. Well, yeah Just competitive and I like I like when we both really bring it it's hard to do it every time you do it literally 99 out of a hundred have to you bring it. Yeah, you have that on your own

But if I really have a good a good set a good time, then you're just like, all right. And then you do like a seven 20 windmill. Yeah. I walk up the stairs onto the stage on my hands. I say, who's ready to get fucked? You leave it all. Yeah. But you say, you thought that was good. You're not going to remember. Your brains are mine. Yeah, I do all my tricks. I go up there with a strobe light. I just hold it in front of all of them. I say, your memory's gone.

Men in black. What about black men in? I'm like, where, man? Just go right into it. White men are out. Yeah. White men are out. Black men are in. No. So yeah, when I'm pissed up there, dude,

I really can tap in. That dude really got your ass. It was so stupid. Also, it's revealed it's a community college, and that makes me even more mad. You know? Yeah. I could have gone to Dartmouth when he got cut.

I said that on stage. He got cut. And I wasn't embarrassed. He gets cut by his lady, right lady right cuz Purdue everybody knows Purdue so that was crazy Cuz I said did anyone else go any bullshit schools anyone go to Purdue and his wife said right I went to Purdue and I was like no I create reality The hosts Joe Ames's dad really liked that.

Yeah. Was it Chris and Annette? I don't remember Annette being involved. I can't remember Joe's parents names, but they were great. Was he like a fisherman? Why was there Annette? No. Come see me in Vancouver next weekend.

Me too. St. Louis, I'll be there the 27th, Marion, Illinois after that and then Rolling in to old Indianapolis followed by DC in Cleveland. Oh, yeah, I don't have my phone. You gotta wait neither do you? Where's your phone? I don't know. What do you fucking care? Reads bro. Yeah. Well luckily days and ad reads Plugging in there you grab luckily dates and ad reads and oh it might add roots. I'm plugging out in there Yeah, grab mine dating and ad read. We're not anymore. It's illegal stupid So is laughing at the residents in laughter died along with my kid

Please don't remind me of my son. I miss him every day. I should have locked up my gun That's what I get for being scared of my neighbors What Netflix is going up four bucks anyway Every two weeks Netflix is like hey, sorry, we have to charge you more money. It's like, oh good. It's the same shit though. Do you still have a bunch of crap? Yes we do, Nathan.

Well the worst one is when it's like, hey. You can keep watching Detroiters, but it's going to cost you. Hey, Paramount Plus is charging you for your yearly subscription. I'm like, what? Because I wanted to see what the Yellowstone hype was about. Okay. Yeah. And I forgot about it and then it gouged me Did you watch any of it? No, it sucked. I tried it. I grew up out West You might as well watch Matlock. I'm a lioness guy. Just shut up.

Oh yeah, Matlock. Becker's jerking it to Matlock. Yeah, and you know sometimes when you're jerking it you need a little buddy in there to help you. From the outside or the inside. Life is stressful enough without worrying about your performance in the sack. Kid Rock had a little friend who kept him hard. Remember? Vern Troyer. I wish. No, it was the other dwarf.

Joe C. Joe C. Three foot nine with a ten foot dick. Joe A and B failed. They went rogue. He's a third attempt. Yeah. They had to put him down in the lab.

The other two were feral. But yeah, you can get a new helper in the bedroom with HIMS ED. HIMS provides access to a bunch of doctor trusted ED treatments. I get hard while I'm reading it. That'd be sick. They've got chewable. Oh hello Detroit's back. My wife, my wife trust. She has two huge treatments. She lets me have one. I need to get hard left one and a right one. Yeah. Hell yeah. Her ears are sexy. It's her nostrils are huge, but yeah hims has chewable hard men chew it up man. You know what? Just because you want your dick to be hard doesn't mean your medicine has to be Gum on them chewable you suck on on Becker's been taking them recreationally

Yeah, put them on your tongue and then go down on your lady Oh, or if you're a guy you go down on a guy and you put the Hems into his dick Yeah, like in the urethra and it gets super hard Chop it up works his dick yeah like in the urethra and then it gets super hard shop works blow the powder in the penis. No, there's no why is mine bite back also have by agress i alice it keeps eating my wife's e iud is it see alice see alice no it's kai alice. No, I said sialis there at psycho there is the Alice. No, it's kialis. No, I said sialis. They're a psycho. They're a

doom. They are dro and their generic versions for up to ninety five percent off. Do you want the they lives version of dick pills? They got it. Put the sunglasses on, see the truth, see your dick rock hard, get your dick so big that you can project they live on the side of it like an old building. O get your dick so big that you can project they live on the side of it like an old building Obey your dick Everything's done online. I love it online man. That's where all the truth lies

So there's no need for an awkward doctor's appointment. Hey doctor my dick sucks. I knew when you walked in And he goes lose weight and it's like it's not just. It's me thinking about whether I'm alive or dead. And he goes, I'm not that kind of doctor. And he's like, but if I had to bet you're not alive. Nurse, get in here and laugh at this guy's dick problems. That's why I went to school. What, did you drink all the blood that's supposed to go to your dick, stupid?

It's not red, red wine. You got popcorn in your red, red popcorn in the wine softens it up for lime and the coconut that's right sing about this Bella Fonte you can join the hundreds of thousands of broke dick bastards I mean, trusted Hims subscribers and let them find the ED option that works for you. They're going to love it because I'm going to say the next part verbatim. Start your free online visit today at hims.com slash chubby. That's h i m s dot com slash chubby for your personalized ed treatment options. Hims.com slash chubby.

The products mentioned are chewable Compounded products which are not proved by or verified for safety or effectiveness by the FDA Prescriptions require an online consultation with a health care provider who will determine if appropriate restrictions apply see website for details and important safety information Subscription required price varies based on product and subscription plan. Hims. Oh my spilkes. Hims. Suck it. Hims. I'm getting kicked out of the extended stay in like 45 minutes.

So get down there and get going. You know what helps if you, when, what helps your dick get hard and stay hard is eating well. And it doesn't have to take up your whole goddamn day. There's another one? Factor! Bodum! Factor! I got some ED medicine for ya!

Factor! It's called protein. Factor is hard all the time, you. Factor is called protein. The factor is hard all the time. Factor gets hard. Suspension bridge doesn't let up. Hail before factors factor. Everybody loves it. Factor has meals. You can get him him's man we're like doing really well sick man pop them doesn't make you less of a man or a woman just take ladies you get hard to him ladies hims to go on brush your shoulders off what about hers we have to talk about fucking factor you heat them and you eat them in just two minutes stupid you can

get back to looking at the wall two minutes leaves 58 more for you to carve a whole of carve a tally in the wall only 23 more to go until it's the awakening. Everything arrives fresh, shut up, everything arrives fresh and fully prepared. It's perfect for any busy lifestyle. A lot of people in here need Factor because they have to spend the rest of the day applying for jobs. They don't know how to use the computer. They have to go in person and every single place says you have to apply online and he goes, I don't know what that means. I'm not allowed at the library anymore. I'm here now Let me put on an apron and get to scrubbing They won't let me use the computer in the lobby anymore

I downloaded pictures of Heidi Klum new part of the settlement was that I can't ever touch a computer again So let me get back there a POS doesn't count. I can use a point of sale. I can use a cash register. And my ex wife called me a POS in court. So fuck, I can't work your goddamn fancy till I just save up money to get that judge's address. Whoa, back to to get that judge's address. Shit. Whoa. Fact or. Pig pig spew up your fact or factors, good.

You like this is the guy talking. Hey, I'm a face of factor. I'm the face and gut of factor. Hey, I'm the face of Factor. I'm the face and gut of Factor. Hey, you have little tubes. Factor can't help with your tiny tubes, but they do have tube talk. His ear tubes, him and Luchin were like, we have tiny tubes. God didn't want us to breathe, but we do it anyway. Factor Factor has literally 40 options to choose from each week. It's as easy as

selecting your favorites and waiting for them to show up on your doorstep. I have so many favorites, man. Oh yeah, you get the chunks, you get the whipped chunks. Sometimes you want them chunky, sometimes you want them whipped. All I know is I don't want to put my teeth in to eat this shit. The curry coconut chicken was really good. I had that one recently. There you go. Oh yeah, they're fantastic.

And whether you want, you're on a keto diet, want to up your protein or you're watching your calories, there's something for everyone. My favorite is the taco delight. It's sick man. It's really good. I like the whipped chunks. Did I mention those? Did I mention the come with a real bull whip like the chunks in the air baby? That sound that sound is you breaking the speed of light. You can taste the sound. And they're ready in the speed of light. It's you breaking the speed of yum.

Two minutes. Just whip them right into my mouth, bitch. Ha ha ha ha. The meals are top tier and the convenience is incredible. God, I love convenience. Eat smart with Factor. Get started at factormeals.com slash chubby 50 off and use code chubby 50 off to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. That's code chubby

50 off. You get hired for the Factor one? Shut up at FactorMeals.com slash chubby 50 off to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. Eat it. Fat time. Have your own personal fat time. Factor presents fat time. You know, Factor makes you a perfect little meal, but if you have four of them, it's fat time. And she can't quit. Overdose on dinner. Quit Factor.

She can't tell you you've had enough anymore. It's not illegal to overdose on whipped chunks. Oh man, good thing I'm cramping all over. I'm cramped. My chunks are whipped and my rocks, my shocks are rocked.

I'm just a head. Look, I'm just a gut and a head. That's how you are. That's how to get ahead. The algorithm doesn't have the space in its computing to know what it's seeing right now. Sex. They're going to be like, is that a person? Sex or is that a horse? What is that?

Oh dude, speaking of mutants, Lund refused to be in my new promo video for Google Part 2. Oh yeah, it was crazy. But I decided while I'm going through it, while I'm wondering what's real, what's a dream. You're like, hey, I got an idea for another ghoul video. You come out on a leash, you're not barking. That would be, that would give me too much respect for myself. I want you grunting like a pig

and gnashing your teeth, snarling, spitting. Yeah. On a leash though. On a leash that you hold. I'm not just your boss. Not just your friend. Well, I'm the fucking master. I wanted I gave you the option to not be on all fours and do more of like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. After. Yeah after the first After round of rewrites came in your first pitch was that I'm less than human Abominable better than better than dirt equal to mud

And then I'm like no and you're like, alright, what about this you're now some type of troglodytes So you don't have to be on all fours. You're just like, yeah, you're just like a crazy, like almost man. Yeah, you're like a third ancestor of man. You're a missing link. Still, I'm upright. Right, yeah, yeah. So I'll give you that dignity.

The only awareness you have is like feed, fuck, forest. But like towards the end of my life, I think once, what am I? Right. And that is just like, but like towards the end of my life, I think once what am I? Right. And that is just like, yeah, a small step towards who we are now towards Mark Twain and Mark Anthony. Yeah. You shot that down. And I was like, no, thanks.

I was like, come on, just do your, do your Google. Well, the original thing was funny enough, which was oh this time I'll be cool. Should I tell them or should they find out it'll find out two months on America's most wanted Yeah, they'll see it on ID Google to all right. Well, yeah, you had an idea it was funny and then just like it's just like when we do our try to come up with our opening at the high plains Comedy Festival you just It's just like when we do our, try to come up with our opening at the High Plains Comedy Festival.

You just think that anything and everything is possible. If we, if we laugh hard enough, then we can put together just magic. Everyone was laughing really hard at the idea of you as a, as a subterranean pig creature out there just slavering. Of course. It's funny. Fighting at people people funny to imagine when I'm yanking at you as I'm going goo funny to laugh about it in the green room

yeah but it's funnier online forever to surprise everybody live with it would have been very upsetting that's what's funny about it no like not just funny confusing and then they're like, that was weird. I gotta do a promo video. I know it's embarrassing. Yeah, it's like disconcerting. Yeah, it's the same. It's not what you want.

It's as close as we're gonna get to you levitating and hovering over the crowd. It's like, hey guys, real quick, just say, Joe's gonna act like he's bringing me back on. Don't worry, it's nothing crazy. We're gonna have a good time. All right, I'll see you guys in a minute. Be right back. And then just like hey who's

ready for their headliner ladies and gentlemen ghoul and then I have the sound guy Frankenstein no even better I had Becker look up pig slaughterhouse noises yeah it was like a PETA video gotta be a variety of noises and it ruined my YouTube account. So yeah, yeah. His algorithms cook because I wanted to have slaughterhouse noises with monster trucks and that was going to be ghouls soundtrack. And then, you know, everyone's like, okay, I guess ghoul. And then you would come to the curtain and you're just fucking, you know, you have a bunch of blood packs in just drooling blood. You've made the artistic choice to go out bottomless.

Everyone can see directly into your hole as you crawl by. Yeah. And everyone's like, wait, what? What the fuck is this? And I have a drill. I'm like, cool. Everyone's like, yeah, I want them scared. I'm scared and confused.

That's how you want to get into their car. Yeah. just take that energy and then get in an accident for sure pretty much Yeah It's what I'm looking for. I want them to die confused die questioning That's what we should all be aiming for I have to blow my nose to god. That's the I laughed so hard. I felt crazy Nice. I know I look crazy, but I felt it inside. Where are we at? We're at 48. Hmm.

That's nice. Yeah. Uh, we had some amazing burgers today. It's a small cheval. Yeah. That rocked my shocks. Yeah, that was really good. Uh, we had that long ago.

Downtown, I guess stop shaving constantly shaving Shave the shave the top of your head finish the job I think it might look okay in a week. I think it looks cool now. It almost looks cool I know I look really skinny in all my photos and my head heads really svelte. Did you want negative sideburns? She said you never have sideburns and you're like I usually do They're kind of like the last thing I have or sideburns. So I really like it if

Grimy. Grimy? You look like Frank Grimes. Grimy Grimes? Yeah. Oh shit. Loved being called Grimy. Yeah. Yeah, you look nuts. You look like Kevin Spacey in Seven. Mm-hmm. So that's cool, I guess. That's good.

Yeah. I'm going to see my wife for Valentine's Day tomorrow. I think once you wash it and it's all going one direction, it'll look a little better too. Why would I wash it? There's nothing there. I'm going to waste shampoo in 2025. The tariffs, Becker. You just do hot water so it relaxes.

Hot water burn baby. Yes. It's gonna, you're going to need, uh, what? Scalp on. Head on goes directly on the head. Scalp on goes directly on the scalp. I've been getting dander too. Hope this raise this gets rid of my dander.

That's a fair response. You've been stressed about something. I was stressed about this weekend, but luckily the good people of Rosemont came and packed it out. We had a very nice time. Chicago. Undefeated kind of Chicago. Yeah.

It still counts. Yeah. Chicago Chicago. How about woman? Oh, you were on stage last night. Woman comes into the green room holding her purse. She's pretty drunk. She's pretty, she's like, Oh my God, you guys were so funny. And Alex is in there, the manager. So he's, and he's like, you can't be in here.

And she goes, it's fine. I'm from Chicago. Okay. And then what, uh, he like probably reiterates you have to leave. And she said, what she said, fuck you nerd. Whoa. Yeah. I don't know if she said, fuck you, but she definitely said, okay, nerd. It was okay. Nerd. She hit him with a nerd. She called him a nerd and it was very much in the tone of like, I'm a hot chick and you're a fucking nerd. He's a father of two. Yeah. He's a homeowner, a taxpayer. And then as he walked her out to kick her out, she would have been gone.

He gets out to the lobby and they're kicking a 12 top out for doing cocaine in the bathroom. Whoa. During Lundset? Yeah. No way. So they're getting kicked out. He realizes like, I got to go deal with this bigger problem. She got saved by a 12-12 person cyclone there was a fucking suitcase of cold ones on the way out the door. Yeah, damn

Yuck. I didn't know I didn't notice that they do a really good job Yeah, the Alex said that they the 12 were a problem during my set and I didn't really notice Yeah, because you were not there. Oh yeah, I was floating. Yeah. You were astral projecting into a safer place. I wasn't above. You were at a Cici's Pizza buffet in your mind. I wasn't above myself, I was in the wall.

Yeah. It was like, you know, first person but where you zoom out once. You were like Kitty Pryde. The camera was like right behind and above Yeah, you were first person bombing. It's me but You said that the cop was out of his jurisdiction. You go. I'm wearing a bomb vest under this. Yeah, I can't do shit about it He was cool cop. Yeah the opposite of the other guy. Yes. I was like, yeah, you know you shoot him, right?

other guys. Yeah. I was like, yeah, you know, you shoot him, right? And he's like, gotta love me. Oh yeah. We didn't even tell it. So last night after I say that to that guy, you know, uh, yeah, you're, I got your bitch feeding me candy. And everybody loves that. He reveals, he reveals that, um, he's a, he's a 35 year veteran of, uh, the Chicago police department, Clone Wars. Right. Yeah. And when he says that, there's a black guy in the front row as well. This guy's over here, black guy's over here. I say to the black guy, I'll keep you safe. And I step human shield between the black guy. And that's when people in the back, a guy yells, back the blue. Another guy yells, that's my brother. And I yelled, what, that's your brother?

He's like, CPD. You know, and I was like, okay. And he's like, I got his back. And I was like, why you guys shoot your guns in the air? Everyone just shoot the ceiling, everyone laughs. I'm not gonna be like, yeah man, hell yeah, cops. Cool, it's cool. And he's like, yeah cool cool and he's

like yeah there's like I got his back no matter what and I was like so you just like have a guy's back blindly while threatening violence that sounds like gang behavior everyone's like oh that's that knowledge you know everyone stood up and crossed their arms put their backs back to back like this everyone spun their hats around put their backs back to back like this. Everyone's spun their hats around. That's that knowledge. Is that a specific commercial or something? You have a strong vision.

Just like me on a leash. Drooling and eating poop. Eating my own vomit. Eating my own scabs. I mean you do that already. Yeah, I did when I was a kid. Eat your scabs. I'll pop a scab every down that now. What are you gonna do? Makes you stronger. Yeah, iron helps us play. I don't get haircuts is because

it weakens. Yes, but yeah, some of you I think I think I tap dance through that. What could have been a minefield, rather gracefully, by just saying everyone shoot your guns in the air. You hadn't said, pig. No. No, I probably did say pig in the penis bit. Later.

Later in the set. I don't know, last night was chaos. I had 25 minutes being in front of a guy who said I couldn't go to shit school. You probably didn't get to that. Did like three bits last night. And then when we filmed the promo at the end for the new ghoul thing the fattest squad in the world came barreling out of that green room. It was Luchin, it was Byron Graham, it was Jason

Melton, Lund was involved of course, Becker was their little Slim Jim Phantom on drums. Yeah but it was just like, that's what Alex said. It was funny when everyone came out of the green room last night and you had two fat guys following you on stage because Byron and Melton went up there to film from behind. Yeah, it's your best angle. A real thick crew. Can't wait.

Hopefully it'll get people up to Vancouver. Love Vancouver, I'm excited. Or I haven't been up there since I fell in love with a blue haired girl in a drum circle in like 2007. Oh, let's find her. I bet she's dead. She was living outside. She liked huffing gas.

Me and Bonzo were underage. We drove up there hanging out, bought some weed and the gas lamp, went downtown. New Year's Eve. Met this girl. Wrist it all. Me and Bonzo weed in the gas lamp went downtown New Year's Eve Met this girl wrist it all Me and Bonzo slept in the car her hair was blue now her skin is blue. She's in the Pacific Ocean Yeah, they never found they're not gonna find her. Yeah. She's inside of a whale. She's getting Pinocchio'd You know what would have been cool is if we could have gotten a divorce a to have his headlights on, on his Camaro. Yeah, that would have been sick.

We could have looked cool. Yeah, okay, why don't you go out and tinker under the hood for a while? Flash those brights in here. No, he's not, he's drinking. He's playing Starship really loud though. We can't, we hear it through the wall, but we have light.

They're playing around the corners, you see that? Oh, the casino, Jefferson Starship, yeah. Really? Oh yeah, they're gonna play Jane for sure. They have to. They have to, they have to play it twice. they're gonna play Jane for sure they have to play it twice they're gonna do a medley of their hit they're playing the super bowl if you polled people in the parking lot my dad always says that about one hit wonders I like that a lot they gotta play a medley of their hit

I was like Tonic's coming to town he's like what are they gonna do a medley of their hit I've heard it probably 30,000 times in my life, and I just said it, and you laughed really hard. So shout out Dave T. Yeah, but he read it in a mad magazine when he was dodging the draft. He was learning how to kiss his buddy so he could lie at the office.

I'm not gonna die in Nixon's war. I gotta stay behind. I gotta see Fog Hat play a medley of their hit. Whoa, that's good. I can't wait to say that forever. The epiphany moment. Hey, give me another kiss. I'm saying cool shit now.

Get over here, little Donnie Wilson. See how little you are. We're playing the hit. I'm just a hit. Factor. Ah, how we left. It might've been the hardest I left that year was us doing the Factor read in Japan. Yeah.

Yeah. I gotta say this dude, I remember listening to Comtown in like 2016 and they went to like Australia and Japan and I was like, maybe I'll be on a podcast that goes to Springfield, Missouri or something, and here we are. We've traveled around, seen some shit. Fuck you, Australia.

Whoa. Are you gonna come over and do the UK with me? I think so. Sick. I think I should. Yeah, those tickets are on sale, by the way. Glasgow, London, and Manchester. Get those tickets on on sale by the way. Glasgow, London, and Manchester, get those tickets on samtalent.com. My website's back.

Yeah, I was able to fuckin' get that Somali pirate. Enough goats. So, that's a victory. Buy a shirt, buy a Wide World shirt, a Sam Talon shirt. Join the Becker. Wide World Patreon and ChubbyVemoth, the wide world Patreon. This project is to keep a roof over y'all's head. I know.

And Becker is, I've been out here with him. He's putting on a brave face, but, uh, he spent about 40 minutes in my room this morning vomiting and I wasn't pissed. I didn't yell at him or throw anything at him He pretended to stay asleep. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I was completely new and afraid Woke up to a man working up his buffet trembling. Yeah, he was straight bompo in there and I was like, ah, I had a boner That nothing to do with you. I wet dreamed earlier this week Stay tuned.

Let's leave on a cliffhanger. We can explore that I think. I mean I'm not. Yeah we have two minutes left. Yeah that was embarrassing. Mystery wet dream because you woke up and you had come. I woke up someone come. I hope it was me. You had you had blasted and you didn't remember the wet dream. I didn't remember shit. I don't remember the why or the who or the how. I do remember the goo. Yeah. I just woke up caked and I was like, what the fuck? That seems so crazy to me.

I don't know, man, because, uh, almost every time I had one, probably every time you your act It's like you're half lucid dreaming and then you if you were able to come before you fully are thinking about how you're Dreaming and wake up yourself. Yeah, you blast and you remember you're like, oh man Yeah, feel guilty if it was like an axe or whatever some rando that you know But sometimes it's Anna Nicole Smith and you're like, hey, who cares? I'm kidding, she belongs to everybody. What?

Nothing. I did, I think I know the cause. There was a very sultry, flirtatious balloon artist in the green room at the Dr. Phil Live show. Yeah. And I think that she brainwar in and then you fucked a balloon. She, yeah, I think the dream was, it was very squeaky. I remember Thompson hotel has bedsprings. Yeah. I think she was the culprit. Becker also noticed some things going on there.

Yeah. It was her head Be Becker's body. Oh God. She was puking. Oh God. She was puking and like, ugh, it's fine. It's not cause I smoke. It's not weed. And then you woke up and you were covered. Yeah.

My dick was like hurting. Get us outta here. Yeah. Wake up, stupid. So we, we say all that to say, please join the Patreon so we can help Becker with some medical procedures that are looming. He needs tubes. $5 a week. That's all it takes. This week's episode was a slam dunk. We're on a real heater boys. $5 a month. I think this is, oh yeah, $5 a month. $ dollars a week would be nuts.

If that happened, I bet you'd probably get something in the mail. You would think. So don't do that. Put that money towards something real. I'm gonna be coming to Trinidad this week. Yeah, church. Allegedly.

Yep. But yeah, Vancouver, D.C., Cleveland, Marion, Illinois, St. Louis, Indianapolis, Toledo. It's all coming your way. We love you guys. Stay up. Thank you. Stay strong. And remember you're not dead.

Not yet. It's just Rosemont.