Chubby Behemoth - Ya'll Got Ice Cream?

Episode Date: August 2, 2026

SEE THE BOYS LIVE - https://www.samtallent.com/   PATREON EPISODES: https://www.Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth     This week Lund and Becker are together in the church. Nathan remembers getting the plate switch-a-roo, will need more to keep him from Lucy's, and tried a new sandwich shop that he was told was always there. Jake saw a cat get rocked, has been clocking the town ambulances, and realized his child brain made Beth a goblin smusho.     00:00 Group Watch Party 01:43 My Three Gerbils 04:09 Cool Belt 07:28 We All Click 09:26 Too Hot 11:17 Ate Some Other Animals Guts 14:01 Mass Hysteria Type Stuff 16:30 It Said 92 18:19 Sleep Apnea 21:41 If It Works It Works 23:01 Stay With Dog And Beth Sometimes 25:30 Thinks They're Manhunters 27:42 Little Plastic Bullshits 30:44 No Tortillas 32:11 Locked In A Room That's Just Candy 33:52 200 Feet From The Club 35:58 Love And Sandwiches 40:53 I Knew It 42:26 And One Behind His Ear 45:22 Thirteen Bucks 48:01 Pulling In Behind You 50:15 Like A Good Boy 52:39 Full NPC 54:04 Underpass Guys 56:19 Why I Like Wrestling Now     Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   MORE WIDE WORLD: @SamTallent   Pre-Order Sam's New Book - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0593978897/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3I4LOBQ02YIGW&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.k5eCApJdjwVfn7hSelWi5VdRMlVrzKa4zf68ficcjcg.tZZOiI0nB0n3kkWiGAbidMQy5yUS_MkvmEIaXp-LXjo&dib_tag=se&keywords=sam+tallent+brut&qid=1769522903&sprefix=sam+tallent+,aps,181&sr=8-1&dplnkId=90401c83-a6a0-4ad4-999e-ece570a5d320&nodl=1

Hmm. Well, hello again, chubby behemoth listener or listeners, if you're having a group watch party slash orgy. It's me and Becker, and we've left a throne empty for our fallen king, Sam T. No, he's not dead. He's at a wedding or something. Yeah. And apparently he doesn't have time. He couldn't possibly tear himself away from the festivities. So he got me in the Beckman, sweating it out. It's hot at Beckers. It's hot in here. Yeah. But downstairs, the basement presents logistical challenges as far as plugging in. So we're up here, sweating. I'm not sweating yet, but I will be soon. Yeah, it's not, it's, well, coming from my house, this is a pleasure. What is it, like 70 or something in here? It said 83 and then 84 on the thermostat.

Well, it feels cooler than my house. Might be comparable to your place. But these fans, are somewhat helpful. And I've got the AC on for tomorrow for the Patreon. Yeah. So Patreon is going to be music related. A couple people asked about me or Becker doing a music episode. Sam did one. Was that a year ago?

Yeah, I think he's done two and it's been, yeah, at least over a year. So yeah, there was a singular voice begging for a music episode with me. me and Jake, so we're going to do that tomorrow, talk about some songs that we like. Today, it'll be later today. Oh, right. Yes. I'm going to put this out in the morning. Okay.

Yeah. Later today on the Patreon. Hopefully my dick and or balls remain in my shorts. These are short. My three gerbils, I like to call them. I was going to call it a ferret and two gerbils, but it's really three gerbils. It's not. If his side of the frame goes black, just know it's out.

yours went out came out that one time yeah was that up here no no we were at the broadmore i think okay i think it was when we were recording in sam's room at the broadmore it might have been the week before i think it was i think it was not there it might have been yeah the stop before anyway yeah don't be on don't be on ball watch no that sucked It sucked so bad to have to watch the whole video that closely, just staring at my own crotch. Does it peek out? I know it peaked out.

I tried to get Pat to join us today or tomorrow, but he said he's at his lady's place. Yeah, he's getting laid in it. He's 69ing the day and night away. Yeah. But no, he said that the internet is bad at his lady's place, and I believed him. Him and Sam, just lying to me.

just lying to get out of homework, I guess, you would call it. I believe him. Yeah, you're a pure trusting spirit. Pat wouldn't lie about internet. It's sacred to him. He would like to join us, I would imagine. But, yeah, he's 69ing. Hopefully it's 69 in the apartment or house.

They can be doing it on the street. 85. God, I'm so sick of summer. Yeah, this is bad. The dumpest is hooking me up with an AC. I'm picking it up on Wednesday. Oh, is that who reached out? Yeah, and he lives right by Mike.

Oh, cool. Which is nuts, because no one lives up there. Yeah, except for all those people. Yeah. Nobody we know, yeah, it's a lot of... It's a lot of parents. Retirees. Yeah.

People scared of the city, as opposed to people who say, bring it on. Yeah, huge shout out to the dumpest. I'm very excited to see you on Wednesday. I'm going to see Spider-Man on Wednesday. It's going to be a big day. You're going to get it. Oh, just get it from him.

Keep it at mics. Yeah. And then be gone. Leave it in my car and then be gone for the rest of the summer. Two weeks. Install it just before fall. I have a feeling with this El Nino. It's going to be hot all the way through September.

God. Yeah. Hopefully more random rain like we've had. The rain has been nice. It's been a fucking lifesaver. Yeah. I also got this cool belt at Walmart that holds an ice pack. Whoa.

So I keep falling asleep in my chair in that, but I'm scared to wear it to bed, even though it heats up too quick, because I think I'll get hypothermia. Oh, God. Because I also hug an ice pack when I go to bed at night now. He got ice packs on your gerbils. I put one under my head, one on my head, and I hug one. And that's my whole move lately. But yeah, I can't. I also can't wait just to be back in air conditioning when we get to Nashville.

We could eat hot chicken and then immediately go to air conditioning. I don't know if Sam will let us eat hot chicken. I'm eating hot chicken. He can fight me. He's too skinny now. I'll break him. Have you gone to either of the original spots? No.

I did raise with, or no, princes. Princes and Patty B's, right? I think those are the two. But yeah, princes, I went there with Ben Bryant and Derek Strupe. And it was very good, but I'm pretty sure that they switched our plates. It's because, like, Ben and I got medium and Derek got mild, but they, they must have flipped them because we, Ben and I were dying. Yeah.

And Derek was like, this is pretty good. And, yeah. It's hot. Yeah. I would like to have it again. It's special. It's going to rule. One of them is supposed to be right by the club.

Sam can watch us eat it. Very. No, he's not a big fan. Well, that's fine. He has a lot of things he's a fan of. We'll be able to find those. There'll be a tendon shop or... Yeah, you can have some hot tendon.

Some place that sells hats without bills. I'd like to take him to a place where whatever you order, it gets thrown in your face. And I would order for him, and I would say, let's get you the hot oil bowl. It's just oil. Or, like, in prison, I think you get hot water and oil and then throw it into somebody's So I'm going to do a prison type thing. I'm going to say, welcome to Nashville. Sam T.

I'm going to throw oil in his face. And they're going to kick me out because they're like, hey, the staff are supposed to be the ones that throw the oil or whatever you order. And I'll be like, hey, I figured I could figure it out. I waited long enough. I nailed it. Yeah, I did a good job. Are you guys hiring? It's not too bad in here, which is nice.

No, the fans really doing a lot. The fans kind of sound weird. Hopefully they don't... They're not picking up. It won't matter, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Clean out real easy if they are. These are so much...

These microphones are better than the podcast ones for... Oh, yeah. Random noises and shit. For fucking everything. The one thing worse about these is if one of us has been smoking or has the sniffles. These pick it up crystal fucking clear. Gotcha. Yeah.

Wait, what do you mean the smoking? Coughing or... No, just like if we have the dry mouth. Gotcha. Not today. Thanks to the soda water, I'll be burping instead of dry mouth. I watched. I was editing the new NWO.

There's another episode of Nathan's Watchalong orgy up on Patreon right now. Yeah. But I was listening to that and thinking about like, it's funny because I can tell you haven't like been horsing or hitting any like weed right before we were. record like we normally do because we all click for like the first couple minutes of every pod and then as soon as I was done I put on uh Drew Carey and Dietrich Bader put out a bunch of like basically DVD extras for the release of the Drew Carey show but they did it on YouTube. Whoa. And Drew has maybe the worst cotton mouth I've ever ever recorded. Especially considering they're on like professional recording equipment. Yeah. So he's just,

screen. I'm laughing him. He's got dentures probably. And it made me laugh because I was like I had just thought

about it so it occurred to me really quick like oh he's doing it bad. They definitely clean this audio up on top of it

being good equipment so Drew Carey's just the most stone man alive for this 40 minutes sit down. I believe it. It rules.

Dietrich Bader is so bald it made me feel so old. Not me. I wondered if and the ladies in Detroit for Sam and

Emily's weekend. They were very concerned. I was not super concerned about the hair growing back. But you don't want to get too cocky and then it is gone.

No, but it's back. It's crazy to think, though, that, like, you cut it, so now it's gone. Yeah,

that was, Sophie was trying to act like that's how it worked. It's like, your whole thing is like skin and follicles. Yeah. How the body is a

wonderland or whatever. Yeah. She was just trying to be in your head. Fear monger. Yeah. Bullie. Yeah. I do want to give Ray

a thank you mostly today. Oh yeah, what happened today? Dude, so I was on like, I got up early because it was cold last night and I slept like a real person for the first time since we were in the hotel room five days ago. And I woke up at 7.45 like,

man, it's pretty bright out. I wonder what time it is and looked at the clock. Holy shit. How am I well rested? But I went on my walk early and then went home and got a drink, took a break, went back out on my third lap around town because I do four to do the 20 miles. I'm walking down. It's the one that goes into Linden on the bridge.

You know when you come out coming this way, you can like bang a right or stay going up Linden to go up the hill past Hollywood Bar. Yeah, the Hollywood Bar is on Johnson, I think. and then after that is Frost. Yeah, I think Lyndon's name ends there. So I must have been on frost. Oh, past that, it's something. Yeah, but like, so coming out of the underpass, if you go right, I was on that long street that goes like over to the main road to get over to Burger King and shit.

Mm-hmm. And as I was walking, I like saw something in the road, and I thought it was another dead animal because there's been a bunch of dead animals around. I think it's been too hot for a lot of the little squirrels. birds and stuff. Yeah. Megan tried to save a squirrel a couple weeks ago, and it didn't make it. She put it in a little box and it didn't with some food and water and a little phone.

That was, you know, that's what I said, you know, in case if you need to get a hold of somebody. A little note, you know, explaining how to use the phone. But LLTV. But yeah, it didn't make it. Poor guy. Yeah. So I was like staring at it already. Like, oh man, that's, what is that?

Like a little raccoon. And then as I'm staring at it, Suburban's going on the street. And I was like, oh, that Suburban's going to hit that thing. And then it did. And it flew up in the fucking air, like higher than the Suburban and landed. And like, while it was in the air, I could see it while it was like spayed out, like, oh, shit, that's a cat. And so I, like, yelled at them like, you hit a fucking cat. And they just kept going.

I also don't know what it would have changed if they stopped. Yeah, it's kind of their responsibility to stop and see what happened or whatever. Yeah. So I go over to the cat and it's like fine. It's moving around. What was it doing before it got hit? Just kicking it? Yeah.

Laying on like one little shady spot on the street. And it seemed like mostly fine, but it was bitching a lot. And it was really friendly with me. So I was like, maybe it's not. not Farrow, maybe it belongs to one of these couple of houses, because across the streets I had, like, Good Samaritan Hospital. So there were only a couple of houses

nearby. And so I, like, tried to knock on the door and ring the doorbell, and nobody came out. So I hung out with the cat for, like, 20 minutes, because it just, like, didn't want to leave. My ankles are quippy and, like, touched. And I didn't know what to do, so I was like, all right, man, I'm going to go get water. I'll be

back in an hour. If you're still here, I will have some water for years. And I went, did the rest my lap came back, didn't see him, was like, hey dude, he like came running out immediately, gave him the little bit of water I had, and it was hot, so he wasn't into it, but he was drinking out of a

kayak that was laying in one of the yards. And then I, like, picked him up because he was being so friendly to, like, look him over and see if I could feel like a chip in the neck or the back, see if there was, like, even worth having him scanned. And his guts were, like, kind of coming out

of his butt. Oh, God. So I hit Ray up because she's a cat freak and was like, hey, do you want another cat? Her dad was a cat. And she was like, oh, what? Why? I was like, I just saw one get hit by a car and I think it's okay, but it should probably go to a vet. Unless it ate some other animal's guts and is pooping them out real slow. It was like climbed a tree while I was hanging out with it and was moving around and play with a branch with me.

Cats are also like crazy and we'll deal with pain like right up until it kills them. and Mitch very little a lot of the time. So like Ray came over and looked it over and we hung out with it for like another 15, 20 minutes and finally it was like, you walk past her every day, just keep an eye on it. But now I'm all, I was handling the cat too much. I'm so fucking allergic.

Oh, yeah. Megan is too. She said we would probably have, she would have been into the idea of having a cat if she weren't so allergic because it is nice to have different energies, cats, dogs. living together mass of stereotype type stuff.

Yeah. I like having a cat or two around because they're not as needy. You know, you can say hey and check in on them or whatever and then they come to you when they want something. But the dogs, I guess Beanie sometimes acts like a cat and stays away from us, but not really. It would be nice to have them up just like up here too if they wanted to eat bugs or something. Yeah. Keeping it clean in here. Yeah.

There's like a thousand dead flies upstairs, and I don't know why. I'm guessing it's just hot. And they get up there and they like get in and then don't get out of the top part. And it's, there's a bunch of sun that comes in. So it's a little extra hot or stuffy. I guess that's, you know, all the warm air is going up that way. So I got a weird feeling there's going to be a lot of available homes and down soon. The ambulances have been very fucking busy.

Very busy because I live across the street from the... You're crazy how much more I've seen. You're clocking a bunch of them. I've noticed a few more. It's been crazy. It's old people. For fucking sure. Forgetting that they have AC or...

Or they're old enough that like 85, 87 doesn't feel crazy. But then like 97 when the house just keeps heating up is enough to like, make an old lady with paper skin stroke out? Yeah, shit. Yeah. That, I mean, yeah. Unless there's been a bunch of like suicides or homicides. No, I've already seen two houses getting cleaned out.

There was like a state sale, garage sale this morning that I saw one of them where an ambulance was on one of my like afternoon walks. And I was like, damn, that's quick turnaround. Good for them. You got to pay for that funeral. But Jesus Christ. So yeah, now I want to try to sell the dead body. Tell all the old guys with cool trucks in town. Like, hey, if you die, I have dips, tell your wife.

Yeah. Let's get a picture shaking hands. Shit, that is freaky. And it makes me think of Sophie's husband Mel shared that. Did you see that story at his grandmas? Yes. That was very funny. In Colorado Springs, his grandma, I think,

is Korean. Yeah, I believe that's... Full Korean, I think, from Korea. And Mel and Sophie, you can hear just, like, telling her that it's very hot in her house, and she's like, I like it. And the thermostat said 92. Yeah. Which is me in my house, like, crying on the floor, laying there in just my boxers with two fans blowing on me in different directions.

Yeah. Or Gogert, frozen Gogart in your Peehole. I was, well, I want to go. But that's what I mean. And these old folks with like no blood or fat left. Yeah, they don't mind the heat because they hate being cold. And they're cold blooded now. But then, yeah, but then the heat can, yeah, they can like it too much.

Yeah. They're in a fucking clay tandoori oven. I remember every time we went over to my great grandma's house, it was like an immediate march to the thermostat for my mom to be like, Grandma, you can't fucking do this. My grandpa liked it hot and his bed was on the. main floor and then my grandma liked it cold. She also had a soft bed and my grandpa had a very firm bed that I didn't appreciate until I got older.

I think I slept in it once when I visited like in high school and I didn't hate it. But as a kid, I slept upstairs. What the fuck is this? Soft bed, cold. Yeah, I can appreciate a firm mattress now, but the heat was tough. But yeah, they were separate, separate entities, separate. they want a completely different sleeping situations. A new crazy study came out that said men sleep better with their partner and women sleep worse,

like measurably. But they do think it's like probably because the amount of men that have sleep apnea now. The women save them. The women are being bothered by the men. Oh, yeah, yeah. By the men. They sleep worse. Yeah.

So like at the end of the whole thing I was reading like, this is kind of fascinating. At the very end, like the last page was them. being like, we're also not sure if this is just like endemic fatness or like genealogy. Fat boy summer. But it is measurable that like all of the men got better sleep when they were with their partner and all of the women got slightly worse sleep when they were with their partner. Snoring or like Megan used to say when I, especially when I would come home after drinking just pawing at her for sex.

Like, eh, come here like honking her boob. Moving around. Also, maybe the ladies scared the man will kill her for. for whatever reason, because he lost all their money or because he's cheating. They were positing. He's trying to get away with something. Weird stuff like that where they're like,

some of it might be that like women were the caretakers. And so like they'd have to be the one vigilant if something was coming at night and yada, yada. And then at the very end it was like, or C-PAPs. It's probably a fat thing. Yeah, it could be the noise from the CPAPs. Either, yeah, either the untreated apnea or the machine

after treatment. Even a guy who's not snoring bad, but like, herka jerks once in a while. Right. And, you know, is big enough to move the mattress? Yeah.

Yeah, I will say, I think I've said it before, but a huge thing for Megan and me was separate blankets. Yeah. Not separate beds, but separate sheet bedding, yes.

Because it's just weird to expect to share that when you want to kind of get comfortable, toss and turn a little, find your sweet spot, you're hot, she's cold, vice versa. It all solves itself if you have separate blankets. And we did that long ago, and I'm sure that's a no duh for a lot of people. But maybe some of you are like, holy shit, because, yeah, it almost feels funny or like it doesn't lend itself to making the bed if you have two blankets, whatever.

I mean, you can figure it out. Yeah. It is nice to not worry about because like I'm always after Megan goes to bed I'm going into the kitchen for a snack. I'm going to the bathroom. Yeah. So I don't want to. Yeah, if you get out of bed, it's already potentially going to wake her up. But yeah, if you're like messing with getting in and out of a blanket that you're sharing, then it's more likely you're going to that I'm going to wake her up.

It's also a really clear light green light for my dumbstone ass at night when Diz would go into the. bedroom and just like not bust out her blanket and i was like oh i'm gonna get late she's not getting in her separate bedding yeah yeah i don't know if that's if everybody does it or not but it is nice one less thing to just kind of mess with with with with you while you're trying to sleep yeah toss and turn throw the blanket off you're not fucking up somebody else's sleep yeah uh and you know separate? I don't know. I read an article a few years back about separate houses and how that some people, if you have a different enough schedule or whatever, or you're just both picky and specific with what you want and where you want it, then if it works, it works. I mean, I wouldn't like

sleeping separate. I think that that would be tough separate houses. And my great depression, and fucking farmer brain would hate two rents. Yeah, that's also a huge luxury to be able to be like. Right. It's not like everybody can do that. No, my parents did it because they had the 24-hour phone line and it rang mostly at night when people were fucking up. That's when people fuck up at night. Yeah, they take turns answering calls to be like, my boy just drank too much.

Can you help me out, sir? So, like, yeah, I think when I was like seven or eight, they like split rooms, and it was immediately them being like, thank God we did this. This is the best thing we've ever done. So we're not both constantly not getting fucking sleep. You're not both on call and waking up to the one phone call. So it was always somebody's turn, but yeah, you'd still wake up to the fucking phone. But yeah, that's still same house.

Yeah, but they were like across the hall. way. Your mom would stay with dog and Beth sometimes, right? Never. God, I can't. Was it Beth? I can't imagine. Is that her name?

I can't imagine what their fucking house was like. I don't know why I even know that. Beth was a legend. I didn't, yeah, but like I didn't watch that show. I don't, I didn't care about them at all. I didn't care that they were Colorado people or whatever. That's a weird phenomenon. But I'm surprised I, that I knew her name was, I guess if you got them like that.

Yeah. Then some part of my brain is like, we should probably remember her name just in case. I saw a clip of him on YouTube recently and like let it play to be like, oh man, I really haven't seen any of this in like 25 years. And immediately I was like, man, my child brain made her much more of a goblin smusho in my head. Oh, yeah, yeah. In my head, she was so much grosser and so much shorter than she was in real life. Yeah. Yeah.

Because I think little me was just like so grossed out by this woman who had more tit than body. You thought she was like a bleach blonde willow from Willow. And I think it was that she was like. With a couple of. That much shorter than my mom. But that was enough for child me to be like, my mom's a tiny. That's the tiniest person around. She's even tinier.

Yeah. Because my mom's like Kim-sized. Yeah. Which is small, yeah. Yeah. So for anybody to be smaller at all. For real, I thought she was going to come up to dogs like way. waste. I don't know. I had such a fucked up image in my mind.

D. Doc. Yes. But it made me laugh immediately because I do kind of remember her like as tall as she was out. Yes. And maybe maybe that was parodies or. That's my memory of drawing. Like the Pueblo County basement when she'd watch us while my mom used the typewriter. I like the idea of her wanting something from a cupboard and instead of dog getting it for her because she's like in consistent that she get it herself, but he picks her up and like puts her up, like that's better than here you go baby. She still needs him. Yeah. But she's getting it. I guess that's like that meme where you don't see you that somebody's helping you. You know what I'm talking about? Being dog makes the even better. It's just a little bit of a mohawk, fohawk, mullet hanging out in the back. Was the show

mostly in Hawaii? A lot of it was in Hawaii. Okay. Not in the springs. A lot of it. A lot of was in the springs. Yeah, it was like almost didn't even split. Okay. Because the guy he worked for is a notorious, I shouldn't say his name, but he's a notoriously crooked man who was like, like an early adopter to why like bail bond should be illegal now. Because he was, he was 100% about like, oh, so you have like a gang that'll help you hide and you're definitely running. Cool. Does your grandma have a house worth as much as the bond?

Let's do this right now. very much like your grandma's house. Damn. It's like all those people he was sending dog to catch, he planned on them running, which is an insane way to do business. Sure. Yeah.

That's also why Sam in his head thinks my parents were manhunters. Right. Because the only way he's ever seen it, the only way white trash operates it now is to bait people into running so you can take all their shit and give them back to the jail. Ugh.

Yeah. Yeah, that's fucked up. Which was like worst case scenario. My parents let people keep their shit. shit that they like legally had where they would get a house where it was like oh what are we going to do kick an 85 year old lady out of her fucking house

right yeah or are we just going to have her sign the deed over whenever she finally dies then we can make some money back I don't I don't know if it'll help I'm going to put lights on real quick just in case it is getting darker outside but yeah I do think the dog show is a big part of Sam being like

no they were manhunters like that's not all bailed that was almost no bail bondsman in the 90s and now it's every bail it was a bad practice yeah and then yeah of course reality TV wants the action of it and then if you in the profit once you show shitty people where there's profit hiding and anything they will exploit it because when I was also when I was a little kid there were 13 bondsmen in the state there's 13 across from county in Denver yeah yeah there's fucking like 300 in Denver.

God. So there's just a ton of these people. There's not enough innocent, well-to-do criminals going around for them to all even operate the right way anymore. Yeah. Yeah, I hate thinking about all the redundancy in shitty avenues for money, like shitty businesses or like the amount of companies that make little plastic bullshits. I don't want there to be one, but I don't want there to be a billy, like so many cranking out crap and then us just gobbling it up.

And I don't know how you solve that except for people realizing that it sucks and not doing it themselves. There's not a top down decree that makes sense. There's maybe the better business bureau being able to close down, but then that can get weird. And somebody's going to get shot for trying to shut down. some guys like at home plastic bullshit factory. And it'll turn like Yelp reviewers into people that think they're actual cops. Yeah. Because that's a big part of looking for food on the road is when it's like, this place is 3.7 stars out of 2,000 reviews and you click on it.

And like all the two star reviews are white ladies with their picture there. Oh yeah. The food took 20 minutes. You're missing out on some really good stuff. if you're avoiding places based off of a negative review or two. Unless they have a one star, a two star review, it's almost worth checking and like reading it to see what kind of psycho gave them that. Well, yeah, and just trusting any one review or I guess some of the reviewers are normal people, but a lot of them, I think, get off on being judge, jury executioner. Yeah.

And there's some amount of clout. Maybe you can follow people for their reviews. So then if you make it your thing, ugh, fuck you. Yeah, that sucks. The worst thing I can imagine is somebody like fine tooth combing your fucking place where you get your burrito. Yeah. And being mad because they waited too long or the fucking fajitas were too overdone today and not appreciating. Like, well, everybody else here seems happy.

And I'm probably being a asshole right now. I was going to say Lucy's, I think it was still habaneros, but the Mexican place that I, Megan and I love, had like cockroaches. Yeah. And I didn't care. The food was always so good. Cockroaches happened.

Unless it's in the burrito. Yeah. In my burrito. I don't care if it was in yours. If it's in mine, maybe I would stop going for a little bit. They also weren't in the food. No, they were in the restaurant, right? Yeah, they caught them.

And they're literally next to the river under and underpass, and they had water bugs. That's crazy. Yeah. No, it's worth it for me to go there no matter what. They would have to, like, kill me. Yeah, I'd have to get violently ill, which I had at Hoban arrows, and I still went back because it was the shit. I will say that Megan said that Leslie got Lucy's got fajitas and that there were no tortillas, which, is insane. Because it's like the other part. Like it's the meat and veggies and then the tortillas.

So you forgot half. And then the vegetables, she said, were insane. It wasn't bell peppers and onions. It was like broccoli and carrot. Oh my God. So that is funny to me. They also just straight up basket fry the fajitas now when they, I watched them do it for one of my words. And it was good. It was delicious. But I was like, I'm already being a asshole eating them like. griddled with a little bit of oil. Just drowned in oil. I probably don't. This is probably the least healthy meal I've had all week.

Yeah, I mean, I thought fajitas to go is kind of funny to me. Yeah. Like, the whole point is that plate. I get the fajita burrito. Okay. I load it with that shit. Yeah, which is, I've gotten before. It's good.

Yeah. But yeah, the fajita thing, it's kind of a at the restaurant experience. You want to sizzle, whatever. The sizzle the noise. But it is funny to imagine that it was, like Chinese stir-fry vegetables for your fajitas. And doing it to Leslie, who's going to hold a grudge for the rest of her life.

She'll never go back. She'll probably never order there again. And she's probably a pretty good customer because I know she likes ordering their food to work. Yeah. Well, Megan and I eat there about once a week, so hopefully we're doing our part. I haven't been there in a couple of months

because I'm trying to be good when I'm home because I've been really bad when we've been on the road. Yeah, well, Which is funny because you're not walking either. No, it should be bad here. Double whammy. But there's so many options on the road to eat. Yeah, we'll get locked in a room that's just candy bars.

Like we did all of last weekend, where I'm sure I ate an extra 4 to 5,000 calories every night in just candy. It was fucking nuts. I don't think you went that hard. I don't know. Maybe after I went to bed. I ate a lot of candy between the green room and then what I brought home every night. yeah but

but we didn't have the wine chicken it was pretty healthy but yeah when we're out like Nashville's gonna be tough Nashville's got a lot of good food Alabama's got great soul food I forgot about Alabama I was more Southern cooking Florida Florida Florida's fine but I'm not like

looking forward to anything Get a whole Marlin Filet Full of fucking worms and shit now Why screw worm They over

fished them all so now they're all like immature and not smoking yeah i don't know i don't remember the exact reason but i've seen more than one famous chef be like one thing i would never eat again is swordfish or marlin uh they're they're fucked yeah over fished you said so the yeah because swordfish ruled it was like steak it's a totally different thing sam might be eating some piece of shit swordfish right now yep getting i hope it's not that good. I hope he sits on the toilet tonight and goes, oh, what have I done?

Oh, no. My gut. My gut biome. I'm going to hit him up and be like, since you didn't have time to come here, can you go 200 feet from the club and get me like two pounds of Kiwi Turkish delight? Oh, fuck, yeah.

Wait, the place is down there. It's literally 200 feet from the club. Yeah. He's got to bring you some. It's right there. We won't, we'll just be in Tampa. And Naples, they don't, they might not have Turkish delight. Nobody has that Turkish delight.

That shit's crazy. Well, yeah, see if he can be torn away from the wedding festivities. I literally didn't think it until today. And I was like, oh, I'm seeing it right after. This is brilliant. Yeah, he's not, is he not going home, but before Nashville? No, he's got one more thing between now and when we see him. is Monday, Tuesday

or spoken for, I think, or maybe Tuesday Wednesday. Okay. Go to samtallant.com, I'm sure it's advertised on there. Yeah, I can't remember. He updated all the dates. Or he was telling people

to go to punchup. Live, too. He was, and then he quit. Okay. So I switched it back, but then he linked PunchUp and his Instagram. So I don't know which one's the right one. They both have the same tickets.

Punchup only had stuff through, like, Tampa. So, yeah, I guess samtallant.com has all the dates. Maybe some of the ticket links aren't connected or something, but will be. But yeah, punchup. Live, you can also get tickets. So, uh, but yeah, if I were you, I would stay far away. No. Just kidding. No, it's going to be fun. I'm going to Florida and then going back to Florida in a month with Baker. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The world of Disney. Yeah. Orlando. Yeah, he started making dinner reservations and shit. We're going to some Michelin recommended Spanish place.

Oh, yeah. I, after bumming a few sigs from you when we were together, when I was in Denver, we would have had time for Ambargesa Don Julio. Traffic wasn't bad. Did you get out of there pretty good? Well, yeah, like I-70 was just was slow. Well, I headed north on 27. 270 because I usually get the fuck out of there as quick as I can because if I get stuck on 70,

I get like weirdly angry. No, it was hell. It took me like an hour and 20 minutes to get to mics. And that was one of my first thoughts was like, thank God if we had driven all the way to federal, he definitely would have made it back in time. Oh, never mind. Okay. I was thinking it was on East Colfax.

So it would have been out of the way. Yeah, I mean, I was downtown at like 540. and so I had like almost two hours to kill. He's probably got an hour. Did you go to NADC? No, because I just want, I want something lighter. So I went to Ike's love and sandwiches. Have you ever had that?

Uh-uh. There's a bunch of them in California. There's some in Arizona. And I'm guessing it's new to Denver. But it's in Riders Square. Yeah. Right next to Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. Okay, cool.

It was the Starbucks. I know that it was because I used to go down there so much, and I would see maybe I went in there a couple times. I know exactly what you're talking about. It was a Starbucks. But I saw that they had Dutch crunch bread, and I hadn't had that or thought about it since college. There was a sandwich place on campus that had Dutch crunch bread. And I remembered liking it. Do you know about it?

Yeah, it sounds so good right now. I don't know why it's not more of a thing except it's probably annoying to make or time intensive or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Because Megan said that you put rice flour into like the top part of the loaf and it like crystallizes a little bit. It's like a little sweet. I never knew how they did it.

I thought it was just sugar. There's sugar. There's sugar that's a part of it too. But not like a crazy amount, I don't think, because it is still savory. But I remembered liking it good enough in college. So I went there. I asked the dude working. He's a younger guy.

I was like, hey man, do you know how long this has been here? This is new, right? And he was like, no, I think it's been here since I was like 10 or something. So how old are you, 16? Yeah. So I'm like, in my head, I'm like, well, no, that's, that he's definitely, he can't be right. If he would have said it's been here for like four years. That Starbucks was still there when they did shut down.

Okay. So yeah, I wasn't positive about that either. But I, and like I said, you know, I haven't lived in Denver. since 2021, since 2020. So I would have accepted a lot of answers, but it's been here forever was not acceptable. And so I go, well, wasn't it a Starbucks? And immediately, no hesitation, no like, I'm not sure, you know?

He just goes, no, that's up the street. And I wanted to be like, bro, yes, there is another Starbucks. I'm not thinking about that other. There used to be one kiddie corner, motherfucker. They had them everywhere right here. There were nine of them between like Lawrence Larimer 15, 16, 17. It was bananas. There were several, yeah.

But instead of, you know, I realize this is definitely a who cares situation for him. And you're talking to a child who does truly believe it's been forever. For him more so than me, like I barely care. He's at work so he shouldn't care at all. He doesn't care. But like, it was so funny to me that he just was so. confident and shut shut it down any kind of like conversation about it but uh the the and i will say the sandwich ruled it was very tasty oh ikes uh they and and they like the dutch crunch bread is

advertised i think it's a big part of their deal okay so uh yeah and and the dude it's like they do halal chicken so i don't know if dude is muslim or just uh trying to be there be an option for any and and there were so many locations in in california it makes me oh and the first one was in san francisco so he's california guy maybe you know whether he's muslim or not new muslim people wanted to hook them up everyone can eat halal chicken dude and it was awesome i got halal chicken it had uh wasabi mayo and terriaki and it was a mess but it was really good fuck yeah so i would uh like to go there again um and get something that was wasn't as crazy wet to see about the bread a little more.

Yeah. But yeah, it was really good, but it was so funny. Oh, because then I go to thick skin at Comedy Works, and I ask Ed Bell, do you know about Ike's love and sandwiches? That hasn't been there that long, right? And he was like, and I told him right next to Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. And he goes, yeah, no, that was a Starbucks. And I was like, I knew it.

Motherfucker. Yeah, I knew it. I knew that this guy was full of shit. But like I said, I wasn't mad. It was just like funny that I was pretty sure. And I did the thing where I just wanted, just in case I was wrong, I was like asking instead of telling him like, no, this was a Starbucks. And it just was funny that he like leapt on the vagueness or the opportunity to also be like,

yeah, I'm not really sure, but I think it's been here for a few years. He just, no. Not at all. I'm the alpha here. Hey, why don't you get your sandwich and sit down? Hey, listen, son, I know every spot in this square that's ever served snacks, okay? You want me to tell you what they got a rocket fizz right now? Oh, yeah, I went into rocket fizz.

No, raspberry mars bars. Oh, yeah, I didn't think about those. I thought about, Kim said she has been getting, I don't know if it's from a candy store in Boulder City or what, but she asked if I had had banana sour straws, and I have not, and she said they're really good, but Evan doesn't like them. Drew just brought those up in the green room the other night, and acting like they'd been around forever, and that was a me being like, I've been eating shit candy my whole life,

and I've never seen banana sour straws. Oh, yeah, so I looked for those, and they didn't have them, and then I thought about, Megan and I used to get taffy all the time, but I didn't do it, and this dude came in that I, like, I stuck around to keep an eye on him because the two women working I was like they don't want to deal with this fucking guy but he came in

no shirt like shirt on his shoulder backpack cigarette in his mouth and I think one behind his ear but not lit no not lit but like a younger dude looked like maybe he was a street kid or something and he immediately was like hey y'all got ice cream and they were like

no you're there's ice cream down the street and he didn't leave so it's like you don't even want ice cream you're just asking weird questions, I guess. Starting conversation the worst way possible. Yeah, well, and also they have every candy there is. So ask them about candy or candy and soda. Yeah.

They have a ton of soda too. And so he like, after they, he said they don't have ice cream. He went to the sodas and I just wanted to stick around in case he tried to do something stupid or just wouldn't leave or something. But somehow he ended up seeming okay. Like he came in so hot. It was like, man, he's going to be a problem. This is a psycho. But then I think he got a soda.

Like, I ended up, uh, oh, also I, I ended up going outside because, uh, I realized they don't know me. And I walked in and like was in there for a long time looking at stuff without buying anything. So now you're just watching a man vigilantly. Yeah. So they could have been like, oh good, two psychos. We're being cased. Yeah, they're fucking Bonnie and Clyde. they're about to tell us to reach for the sky or whatever so that we can steal all the

all the Kit Katz. But yeah, I realized I didn't need to be in there adding to the tension. So I went outside and just stayed out there a little for like a minute. And I saw him go to the register and I was like, oh, okay, I guess he isn't completely unhinged. But there was also a couple in there. So I figured if anything went down one or both of the couple. could help these two women with this dude.

Yeah, shove a gogert in his behole. Yeah. Oh, but so I was downtown early. I get the sandwich. I went down to the creek. For old time's sake, nobody was down there.

There's people jogging and riding bikes, but no comic smoking weed like hippie man would always do. Fuck yeah. Also, the river was so low. It's sad when it's like nothing. but it's just like trash in a non-moving river. So I didn't stay down there very long.

And then I was like, oh, it wasn't super hot. So I was like, I'll walk a few blocks. And I wanted Sigs. And I saw a smoke shop. So I got a pack of Marlboro Reds and a lighter. The fucking cigarettes were $13, which I already knew you said something or something. Somebody mentioned that Marlboro's were like 13. I think they got him in Denver.

I can't remember who would have mentioned it. It's fucking crazy how much they are. Yeah. And I had a stupid interaction with the guy because I said, how much are Marlboro Reds? And he said 13. And I was like, ugh. And then I go, fuck it. And he thought I meant, fuck that.

I'm not going to pay. And I meant, fuck it. I'll get him. Yeah, I'll go for it. So he like started to walk away from. And I was like, no, no, I meant fuck it. like give them to me. And so I had a couple.

I've had a couple since. They're okay. They go quick. It was funny because I didn't remember them going as quick. No, they go quicker now. Okay. And you'll get ones that burn bad. Yeah.

The filler hasn't been chopped up all the way. Okay. They're just not as good. Yeah, it's almost like somebody's been getting rid of all the regulatory agencies. Yeah. Yeah. that the hundreds are the move because American spirits are too slow they fuck my ears up I like can't it's but the hundreds the whole thing's a milkshake the hundreds I've had with you

camel hundreds have been good they're a little bit I've had less problems with them than the Marlboro but I still have a gross cigarette once in a while where I'm like what the fuck just make packs like that then we'd all quit but they're terrible but the Marlboro's I get on the road once in a while. It's just like four in a row were gross. They just didn't even taste right. They were off. The filler, like a big trunk burned, charred falls off, fucking burn yourself with a cigarette, like some kind of drunk. It sucks. Yeah, that that kind of makes sense because a couple have been fine, but, uh, or tasted better than others, I think. Yeah. So it's whatever. It's that. It's too bad. It's a combination.

of them trying to figure out that fire safe thing from the Obama era. And then I think also just being like, fuck it, nobody's watching anymore. And like we talked about, cigarette sales are up. So I think they're also having to fulfill a demand that they haven't had to do in a little while. Right.

Yeah. They're working double time. But how was thick skin? And also, how late were you there? I left between 9 and 930. Nice. I think the show was 730 to 9. I probably left at 930, 940.

Nice, yeah, because I left at 930 because I fell asleep at mics. Oh, drove home. Yeah, he had like a work meeting and I just sat in the chair while he was on his computer trying not to make noise and I passed out. For a minute, like just watching YouTube on my phone. And then when I got up, I got high for a little while. But when I was on the road, I was like, oh, I bet Nathan's like right in front of me. and as I was pulling over to Carl's Jr. and Pueblo, I like started cracking up at the idea of me pulling in behind you.

Or passing me and I'm road jacking. That would be nuts. With the dome light on for, no, because I'm, because that's part of it. I also thought you might have people seeing me. Gone up first and headed home because I almost texted you at one point. Like, it's our last night to speed. Have fun. I got my warning letter.

Oh, shit. I did. From the construction area and. Right. I have not. I guess I've had to slow down the last few times I went through there because of other cars. Yeah. Yeah. So maybe I won't get one. But yeah. And they they let you know that there's going to be cameras. Yeah. There's the little icon on signs or whatever, a picture of a camera. I guess. I think it's annoying when they enforce that shit when there's not people working. Texas police just used those flock cameras to chase down a lady for getting an abortion. Oh my God. It's like not even real crime. They're not even going, they're not even trying to like solve shit with it immediately.

Their first shit is like, how do we fuck with nonviolent offenders that we hate? Yeah. Well, and everybody that supports it can be shocked when there's overreach. When it gets used on their friends and family. Yeah. I ran a stop sign. I can't, well, this is, this is ridiculous. I didn't run it.

was just in the middle of the intersection before I stopped, like, all the old fucks here in their trucks that stopped, like, blocking one of the lanes. After they hit a cat. Dude, just run it. You've already run it. Just keep fucking. Yeah, that drives me crazy. I had to make a truck stop in a crosswalk today because I was standing waiting for the crosswalk on Main Street.

We ordered sandwiches from Tees Me, Treat Me. Nice. And I'm waiting as, like, four cars go by. and it's like, well, fuck me, I guess. Yeah. You know, I'm not waiting in the middle of the road by my car because everybody stops for those people. Yeah. Whether they want you to or not. And then, yeah, I'm waiting at like a good boy in the crosswalk.

Three or four cars just go right by. So I went and made sure that the truck that was coming the other way, I was like, you weren't going to stop either. You thought I was going to stop in the middle of the street and let you go? Let you continue. It's crazy. But the sandwiches were good. Yeah. Tees me, treat me rules.

Not bad. Also, we got Twisted Pig, and they were taking a break. And I was like, God damn it. They were like, what's up? And I go, ah, just blowing it. I've come here. This is like the third time I've come here when you take your break. And I kind of knew after the first time that it was a thing that you do.

Yeah. but we came anyway, and Eric was like, I'll make you food. It was very nice of them. Yeah. And everything was great there, too. Fuck you. So despite the lack of a bunch of good places here, there are a few spots that are pretty damn solid, and I'm grateful for them.

There's supposed to be a new spot up at the golf course, too. Yeah, Grandpa Charlie's. I haven't been. No, like at the golf course, like Tina's lunchback or something. Oh, okay, I don't know about it. Sandwiches and breakfast and diner food. Okay. Hopefully it's good. Hopefully they have an AI flyer coming soon that says every menu item plus things like good food, good friends, good eats, good food, good food, good food, great oldies, good food.

It's always three things. One of them's relax or enjoy or whatever. Yeah, and then like several mission statements. Yes. Yep. You have to expand the picture because for some reason it's made it like scrollable. Several of the pizza ones like that.

I had a lady today. I laughed in the media. It was like, you have to remember to tell Lund this. And this is when I still thought it might be all three of us. That went full NPC on my ass. But like engaged me like an NPC

and it was weird. I laughed at her while we were talking. She pulled up in her like blue truck and it's a really little old lady. She like rolled down her window and like waved at me like that and I like popped out my headphones like hey what's going on she's like well I see walking all the time

I was like yep she's like you're a good walker and I just started laughing because I was like what the fuck am I even supposed to do with that what an insane thing to say to a human they call you Larry Walker and then she was like all right bye and took the left going

in front of the church down off San Juan and I was just like oh I saw real life MPC I've never seen that old truck in town I've never seen that old lady That was a fake person. Just put here to fucking make me forget where I was going. It was the weirdest, just like sweet old lady, but not like, you're going really faster.

How far do you go or nothing? Just you're a real good white. It was all directed at me with nothing expected back. We see you walking. Keep it up. It was nuts. I guess, yeah, there are so few people that walk around town that you stand out because you either live on the street or you.

you're the guy that salutes every car. Yeah. The old veteran. He started hanging out under the underpass with the underpass guys. Have you seen that whole phenomenon that's going on this summer? I don't know if it's the heat or if it's like a slightly more upscale homeless that we're attracting now. But there's a bunch of guys who hang out from fucking dawn till dusk under the overpass behind Lucy's. Hmm.

Or I guess it's the one over from the one behind Lucy's. And they sit there in their lawn chairs with their dogs and the doors open on their jeeps and trucks. And it's like five, 55 to 75 year old men. And they just sit there and like chill all day. But they're all like, they all make me look like I don't have a tan. Damn. They're the tannest, leatheriest men I've ever seen. But they're in the shade.

They hang out in the shade all day. So I don't know if they're out of their homes and just like, we're all retired. Do you want to hang out and just drink a six-pack underneath the overpass? There is like people coming and going. So there's people watching. Salute guy will go hang out. with him for like an hour because I've already been like next time he and I cross paths are going the same way where we walk together for like a couple hundred feet I need to ask him like what's going

on with the fucking underpass dudes yeah I'm curious nobody's the cops aren't fucking with them so I'm suspicious that it's just a group of old guys that are like I ain't buying no fucking AC life can complain all she wants I'll be down at the over overpass yeah I haven't clocked them when I when I go to lucies or anything there's always just people sitting in their vehicle or something and it's like, all right, I guess you're waiting to score or the Amtrak people can get into the shade or something? I've also noticed that Lucy's a couple times I've been in there that people will come in an order and then go back to their car, which I don't think I ever saw at Habaneros.

Yeah. So that's like a weird new habit for town to have picked up. I've clocked that before on my own. Like, do these people all know the people on Lucy's and the food's going to come out to their car? Yeah, I mean, it is... I just don't want to wait inside with my white ass or like, what's going on? It is small in there, but I usually wait in there. Yeah, you got it.

Salsa bar. What are we? A minute left, but we also have ads, so we're probably good. Cool. Well, let's shout out the Patreon, of course. Later today. Patreon.com slash chubby behemoth. Five bucks a month gets you four additional episodes.

At least. Plus, Nathan. watch long orgy. Yeah, I'm going to keep doing that. That's been fun. Easy enough to watch wrestling and grab a mic. So I'm happy to keep doing that. I have a couple of the next matches in mind,

but feel free to leave suggestions for additional matches. It's why I like wrestling now. Lund explains everything the same way explains it to me in a hotel room, with the same excitement, rules. Well, yeah, and it's fun to have it be the background to whatever I want to talk about, which is wrestling related for the most part. But yeah, explaining some stuff more so, I'm not going to call all the moves. I'm not going to do an impression of JR and or the king. But yeah, I've enjoyed it and I'm excited. There's only a million matches that I can watch. Yeah. So,

So yeah, easy enough. I'll keep doing that. It fucking rocks. Like we said earlier, go check out samtallant.com and or punchup. Live slash samtalent, I think. You can get tickets in either spot will be in Nashville, Tuscaloosa, Naples, Florida, tamper at side splitters. That's all August. I'll be in Reno, August 28th and 29th.

and I'll be sharing show information, hopefully in the next week or so, waiting to hear back from the showrunners. If you have Hash in Nashville. Hashville. Hit us up. Hit me up on Instagram. Don't hit up Sam. He doesn't want it.

Also, even though he's not here, you're the fixing. Pre-order Brute because fuck Mr. Beast. Yeah, Brute coming out September 22nd. Links at the bottom of the description. It'll take you right to Amazon. Sam doesn't benefit from it coming from anybody. If you can get it from a local bookseller, that's Topps. But if not, the Amazon link will let you pre-order right now.

And I finally read it, and it's, no, it's great. I'm very excited for it to come out. It's everything he could dream of, an official release. Running the light was very fun because of the organic, word of mouth, slow build, whatever. Yeah. But he, as a little cherubic little boy, he dreamed of a real, release in the airport, in the fucking bookstores, whatever. It's going to rule.

So, yeah, I'm very excited for him to change, hopefully for the better, for him to become a better person instead of a monster. He turns into J.K. Rowling right away. No, the book will have you J.K. Howling in parts. But it's not really that funny. If you want a bunch of laughs, check out running the light. If you want something that's really good. but brute is going to be incredible.

Everybody's going to be like, you didn't really write that, right? And he'll be like, I'll never tell. But yeah, I'm excited for him. Yeah, pre-order it. And yeah, go to the Patreon and listen to those episodes too. Or else. Bye.