Classic Audiobook Collection - Alice Sit-by-the-Fire by J. M. Barrie ~ Full Audiobook [drama]

Episode Date: January 9, 2024

Alice Sit-by-the-Fire by J. M. Barrie audiobook. Genre: drama In Alice Sit-by-the-Fire, J. M. Barrie brings the family home front into sharp, playful focus. Alice Gray returns to London after years a...broad, eager to reclaim her place as the heart of the household and to enjoy the comfortable routines she has imagined from afar. But home has changed: her children, especially the imaginative Amy, have developed their own loyalties, private dramas, and ideas about what a mother should be. When Alice tries to guide the family as if she were stepping back into a familiar role, she collides with misunderstandings, youthful romantic fantasies, and the influence of a smooth, well-meaning outsider whose presence upsets the domestic balance. As everyday conversations begin to resemble scenes from the melodramas Amy adores, Alice finds herself cast in parts she never auditioned for - jealous wife, neglected mother, comic villain - and must decide whether to fight the story her family is telling or rewrite it with honesty and warmth. By turns witty and tender, the novel explores motherhood, identity, and the thin line between performance and real feeling in the place we call home. For ad-free listening try our premium subscription Chapters (Approximate) (00:00:00) Chapter 1 (01:03:12) Chapter 2 (01:56:06) Chapter 3 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Act 1 of Alice Sit by the Fire by J. M. Barry Alice Sit by the Fire. Act 1 One would like to peep covertly into Amy's diary, Octavo, with the word Amy in gold letters wandering across the soft brown leather covers, as if it was a long word and, in Amy's opinion, rather a dear. To take such a liberty and allow the reader to look over our shoulders, as they often invite you to do in novels, which, however, are much more coquettish things in plays,
Starting point is 00:00:37 would be very helpful to us. We should learn at once what sort of girl Amy is, and why today finds her washing her hair. We should also get proof, or otherwise, that we are interpreting her all right, for it is our desire not to record our feelings about Amy, but merely Amy's feelings about herself. Not to tell what we think happened,
Starting point is 00:01:00 But what Amy thought happened? The book, to be sure, is padlocked, but we happen to know where it is kept. In the lower drawer of that hand-painted eskator. Some time in the night, Amy, waking up, wonders whether she did lock her diary and steals downstairs in white to make sure. On these occasions, she undoubtedly lingers among the pages,
Starting point is 00:01:23 rereading the peculiarly delightful bit she wrote yesterday, so we could peep over her shoulder, while the reader peeps over ours. Then why don't we do it? Is it because this would be a form of eavesdropping? And that we cannot be sure our hands are clean enough to turn the pages of a young girl's thoughts? It cannot be that.
Starting point is 00:01:43 Because the novel is to do it. It is because, in a play, we must tell nothing that is not revealed by the spoken words. You must find out all you want to know from them. There is no weather even in plays nowadays except in melodrama. The novelist can have 16 chapters about the hero's grandparents, but we cannot even say he had any unless he says it himself.
Starting point is 00:02:06 There can be no rummaging in the past for us to show what sort of people our characters are. We are allowed only to present them as they tow the mark, then the handkerchief falls, and off they go. So now we know why we must not spy into Amy's diary. Perhaps we have not always been such sticklers for the etiquette of the thing, but we are always sticklers on Thursdays, and this is a Thursday. As you are to be shown Amy's room,
Starting point is 00:02:34 we are permitted to describe it, though not to tell, which would be much more interesting, why a girl of 17 has, as her very own, the chief room of a house. The moment you open the door of this room, and please, you are not to look consciously at the esquitiers as if you know the diary was in it,
Starting point is 00:02:53 you are aware, though Amy may not be visible, that there is an uncommonly clever a girl in the house. The door does not always open easily, because attached there too is a curtain which frequently catches in it, and this curtain is hand-sown, extinct animals. Indeed, a gifted woman's touch is everywhere. If you are not hand-sown, you are almost certainly hand-painted, but incompletely, for Amy, in her pursuit of the arts, has often to drop one in order to keep pace with another. Some of the chairs have escaped as yet, but their time will come. The table cover and the curtains are of a lovely pink, perforated ingeniously with many tiny holes,
Starting point is 00:03:33 which, when you consider them against a dark background, gradually assume the appearance of something pictorial, such as a basket of odd flowers. The fender stool is in brown velvet, and there are words on it that invite you to sit down. Some of the letters of this message have been burned away. There are artistic white bookshelves hanging lopsidedly here and there, and they also have pink curtains, no larger than a doll's garments. These little curtains are for covering the parts where there are no books as yet. The pictures on the walls are mostly studies done at school, and include the well-known windmill and the equally popular old lady by the shore. Their frames are of fur cones, glued together, or of straws which have gone limp and droop like streaks of macaroni.
Starting point is 00:04:20 There is a cozy corner, also a milking stool, but no cow. The lampshades have had ribbons added to them, and from a distance look like ladies of the ballet. The flower pot also is in a skirt. Near the door is a large screen, such as people hide behind in the more ordinary sort of play. It will be interesting to see whether we can resist the temptation to hide someone behind it. A few common weeds rear their profane heads in this innocent garden. For instance, a cruet stand, a basket of cutlery, and a triangular dish of the kind in which the correct confined cheese. They have not strayed here. They live here. Indeed. This is, among other things, the dining-room of a modest little house in Brompton made beautiful, or nearly so, by a girl who has a soul above food, and conceals its accessories as far as possible from view, in drawers, even in the waste-paper basket.
Starting point is 00:05:16 Not a dish, not a spoon, not a fork is hand-painted, a sufficient indication of her contempt for them. Amy is present, but is not seen to the best advantage, for she has been washing her hair and is now drying it by the fire. Notable among her garments are a dressing jacket and a towel, and her head has bent so far back over the fire that we see her face nearly upside down. This is no position in which we can do justice to her undoubted facial charm. Seated near her is her brother Cosmo, a boy of 13, in naval uniform. Cosmo was a cadet at Osborne and properly proud of his station, but just now he looks proud of nothing. He is plunged in gloom. The cause of his woe is a telegram, which he is regarding from all points of the compass,
Starting point is 00:06:05 as if in hopes of making it send him better news. At last he gives expression to his feelings. All I can say, he sums up in the first words of the play, is that if father tries to kiss me, I shall kick him. if amy makes any reply the words arrive upside down and are unintelligible the maid announces miss dunbar then amy rises brings her head to the position in which they are usually carried and she in genevra look into each other's eyes they always do this when they meet though they meet several times a day and it is worth doing for what they see in those pellucid pools is love eternal thus they loved at school in their last two terms and thus they will love until the grave encloses them. These thoughts, and others even more beautiful,
Starting point is 00:06:57 are in their minds as they gaze at each other now. No man will ever be able to say Amy, or to say, Genevra, with such a trill as they are saying it. Genevra, my beloved. My Amy, my better self. My other me. There is something almost painful in love like this. Are you well, Genevra?
Starting point is 00:07:20 Quite well, Amy. Heavens, the joy of Amy, because Geneva is quite well. How did my Amy sleep? I had a good night. How happy is Geneva because Amy has had a good night? All this time they have been slowly approaching each other, drawn by a power stronger than themselves. Their intention is to kiss.
Starting point is 00:07:42 They do so. Cosmos snorts and betakes himself to some other room, his bedroom probably, where a man may be alone with Manish Thurbanes. things, his razor, for instance. The maidens do not resent his rudeness. They know that poor Cosmo's time will come, and they are glad to be alone, for they have much to say that it is for no other mortal ears. Some of it is sure to go into the diary. Indeed, if we were to put our ear to the drawer where the diary is, we could probably hear its little heart ticking in unison with theirs.
Starting point is 00:08:14 It is Geneva who speaks first. She is indeed the bolder of the two. She grips aim Amy's hand, and says quite firmly, Amy, shall we go to another tonight? This does not puzzle Amy. She is prepared for it. Her honest gray eyes even tell that she has wanted it. But now that it has come, she quails a little. Another theater?
Starting point is 00:08:37 She murmurs. Geneva, that would be five in one week. Geneva does not blanche. Yes. She says recklessly. But it is also only eight in seventeen years. isn't it? Says Amy, comforted.
Starting point is 00:08:54 And they have taught us so much, haven't they? Until Monday, dear, when we went to our first real play, we didn't know what life is. We were two raw, unbleached schoolgirls, Amy, absolutely unbleached. It is such a phrase as this that gives Geneva the moral ascendancy in their discussions. Of course.
Starting point is 00:09:16 Amy ventures, looking perhaps a little unbleached even now. Of course I had my diary, dear, and I do think that, even before Monday, there were things in it of a not totally ordinary kind. Nothing. Persist Genera cruelly. That necessitated your keeping it locked. No, I suppose not. Sadly enough.
Starting point is 00:09:40 You're quite right, Geneva. But we have made up for lost time. Every night since Monday, including the matinee, has been a revelation. She closes her eyes so that she may see the revelations more clearly. So does Genevra. Amy, that heart-gripping scene when the love-maddened woman visited the man in his chambers? She wasn't absolutely love-maddened, Geneva. She really loved her husband best all the time.
Starting point is 00:10:09 Not till the last act, darling. Please don't say it, Jenevra. She was most foolish, especially in the crape de sheen. But we know that she only went to the man's chambers to get back her letters. How I trembled for her then. I was strangely calm, says Genevra, the stony-hearted. Oh, Genevra, I had such a presentiment that the husband would call at those chambers while she was there, and he did. Genevra, you remember his knock upon the door? Surely you trembled then.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Genevric knits her lips triumphantly. Not even then, Amy. somehow I felt sure that in the nick of time her lady friend would step out from somewhere and say that the letters were hers. Nobly compromising herself, Genevra. Amy, how I love that bit where she says so unexpectedly, with noble self-renunciation, he is my affianced husband. Isn't it glorious? Strange, Janifra, that had happened in each play. That is because we always went to the thinking,
Starting point is 00:11:17 theaters, Amy. Real plays are always about a lady and two men, and alas, only one of them is her husband. That's life, you know. It is called the odd, odd triangle. Yes, I know. Appealingly. Genevra, I hope it wasn't wrong of me to go. A month ago, I was only a schoolgirl. We both were. Yes, but you are now an art student, in law jeans, with a latch key of your own. You have no one dependent on you, while I have a brother and sister too, to form. You must leave it to the Navy, dear, to form Cosmo, if it can. And as the sister is only a baby, time enough to form her when she can exit from a pram. I am in a mother's place for the time being, Genevra.
Starting point is 00:12:09 Even mothers go to thinking theaters. Whether mine does, Geneva, I don't even know. This is a very strange position I am in, awaiting the return from India of parents I have not seen since I was 12 years old. I don't even know if they will like the house. The rent is what they told me to give, but perhaps my scheme of decoration won't appeal to them. They may think my housekeeping has been defective and may not make allowance for my being so new at it. Geneva takes Amy in her arms. My honest Amy, if they are not both on their knees,
Starting point is 00:12:45 to you for the noble way in which you have striven to prepare this house for them. Darling, Ginevra, all I ask is to be allowed to do my duty. Listen, then, Amy, your duty is to be able to help your parents in every way when they return. Your mother, having been so long in India, can know little about life. How sweet, then, for you to be able to place your knowledge at her feet. I had thought of that, dearest. Then, Amy, it would be simply wrong. of us not to go to another theater tonight. I have three and nine pence, and so if you can scrape
Starting point is 00:13:20 together one and three pence—' Generous girl, it can't be. Why not, Amy? The return of Cosmo, handling the telegram more pugniciously than ever, provides the answer. Cosmo, show Miss Dunbar the telegram. Miss Dunbar reads, Boat arrived in Southampton this morning. A day earlier than they expected. Amy explains. It's the other bit I'm worrying about, Cosmo says darkly. The other bit proved to be,
Starting point is 00:13:54 Hope to reach our pets this afternoon, kisses from both to all, deliriously excited, mummy and dad. Now we see why Cosmo has been in distress. Pets, kisses, he cries. What can the telegraph people think? Surely. Amy says.
Starting point is 00:14:16 You want to kiss your mother. I'm going to kiss her. He replies stoutly. I mean to do it. It's father I'm worrying about, with his kisses to both from all. All I can say is that if father comes slovering over me,
Starting point is 00:14:36 I'll surprise him. Here, the outer door slams, and the three start to their feet as if Philippe had dawned. To Cosmo, the slams sounds uncommonly like a father's kiss. He immediately begins to rehearse the greeting which is meant to ward off the fatal blow. "'How are you, father? I'm glad to see you, father. It's a long journey from India. Won't you sit down?' Amy is the first to recover.
Starting point is 00:15:04 "'How silly of us,' she says. "'It is only nurse with the baby.' Presumably what we hear is a perambulator backing into its stall in the passage. Then nurse is distinctly heard in the adjoining room, and we may gather that this is, for the nonce, the nursery of the house, though to most occupants it would be the back dining-room. There is a door between the two rooms, and Cosmo, peeping through a chink in it, sounds to his fellow conspirators the all's well. Poor nurse! Amy says with a kind sigh.
Starting point is 00:15:36 I suppose I had better show her the telegram. She is sure to cry. She looks upon mother as a thief who has come to steal baby from her. "'Genevra wags her head to indicate that this is another slice of life. A nurse being called in is confronted with the telegram. She runs a gamut of emotion without words, implies that she is nobody and must submit, nods humbly, sets her teeth,
Starting point is 00:16:01 is both indignant and servile, and finally bursts into tears. Amy tries to comfort her, but gets this terrible answer. "'They'll be bringing a black woman to nurse her. "'A ya, yeah, they call them.' Amy signs to Geneva, and Geneva signs to Amy. These two souls perfectly understand each other, and the telegraphy means that it will be better for dear Geneva to retire for a time to dear Amy's sweet little bedroom.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Amy slips the diary into the hand of Geneva, who pops upstairs with it to read the latest installment. Nurse rambles on. I have had her for seventeen months. She was just two months old, the angel, when they sent her to England, and she has been mine ever since. The most of them has one look for their mammas and one look for their nurse, but she knew no better than to have both looks for me. She returns to the nursery, wailing.
Starting point is 00:16:57 My reign is over. Do you think Molly will chuck nurse for mother? Ask Cosmo, to whom this is a new thought. It is the way of children. The more experienced Amy tells him. Shabby little beasts, the man says. You mustn't say. that, Cosmo. But still,
Starting point is 00:17:17 it is hard on nurse. Of course. With swimming eyes. In a sense, it's hard on all of us. I mean to be expecting parents in these circumstances. There must be almost the same feeling of strangeness in the house as when it is
Starting point is 00:17:33 a baby that is expected. I suppose it is a bit like that, Cosmo says gloomily. He goes to her as the awfulness of this sinks into him. Great Scott, Amy. It can't be quite so bad as that. Amy, who is of a very affectionate nature, is glad to have the comfort of his hand. What do we really know about Mother Cosmo? She says darkly. They are perhaps a touching pair.
Starting point is 00:18:00 There are her letters, Amy? Can one know a person by letters? Does she know you, Cosmo, by your letters to her? Saying that your motto is, something attempted, something done to earn a night's repose, and so on. Well, I thought that would please her. Perhaps in her letter she says things just to please us. Cosmo wriggles. This is pretty low of you, damping a fellow when he is trying to make the best of it. All I want you to feel?
Starting point is 00:18:31 Amy says, getting closer to him. Is that as brother and sister? We are allies, you know, against the unknown. Yes, Amy. Cosmo says, and gets closer to him. her. This so encourages her that she hastens to call him dear. I want to say, dear, that I'm very sorry I used to shirk bowling to you. That's nothing. I know what girls are. Amy, it's all right. I really am fond of you.
Starting point is 00:19:01 I have tried to be a sort of mother to you, Cosmo. My socks and things. I know. Returning anxiously to the greater question. Amy, do we know anything of them at all? We know some cold facts, of course. We know that father is much older than mother. I can't understand why such an old chap should be so keen to kiss me. Mother is forty. Amy says in a low voice. I thought she was almost more than forty. Cosmo says in a still lower voice.
Starting point is 00:19:37 Amy shudders. Don't be so ungenerous, Cosmo. But she has to add. Of course we must be prepared to see her look older. Why? She will be rather yellow, coming from India, you know. They will both be a little yellow. They exchange forlorn glances. But Cosmo says manfully, We shan't be any the less fond of them for that, Amy.
Starting point is 00:20:02 No, indeed. They clasp hands on it, and Cosmo has an inspiration. Do you think we should have these yellow flowers in the room? They might feel, "'Eh?' "'How thoughtful of you, dear. I shall remove them at once. After all, Cosmo, we seem to know a good deal about them,
Starting point is 00:20:21 and then we know some other things by Heredity.' "'Heredity? That's drink, isn't it?' "'She who has been to so many theatres smiles at him.' "'No, you boy. It's something in a play. I mean that if we know ourselves, well, we know our parents also. From thinking of myself, Cosmo, I know my mother. In her youth, she was one who did not love easily,
Starting point is 00:20:48 but when she loved once, it was for I. A nature very difficult to understand, but profoundly interesting. I can feel her within me, as she was when she walked down the aisle on that strong arm, to honor and obey him henceforth for I. What cared they that they had to leave their native land? They were together for I. And so... Her face is flushed. Cosmo interrupts selfishly. What about Father?
Starting point is 00:21:19 Very nice. Unless you mention rupees to him. You see, the pensions of all Indian officers are paid in rupees, which means for every two shillings due to them, they only get one shilling fourpence. If you mention rupees to any one of them, he flares up like a burning paper. I know, I shall take care. But what would you say he was like by heredity?
Starting point is 00:21:46 Quiet, unassuming, yet of an intensely proud nature. One who, if he was deceived, would never face his fellow creatures, but would bow his head before the wind and die. A strong man. Do you mean, Amy, that he takes all that from me? I mean that is the sort of man my mind. Mother would love. Cosmo nods. Yes, but he is just as likely to kiss me as ever.
Starting point is 00:22:15 The return of Geneva makes him feel that this room is no place for him. I think, he says, I'll go and walk up and down outside and have a look at them as they're getting out of the cab. My plan, you see, is first to kiss mother. Then I've made up four things to say to father, and it's after I've said them that the awkward time will come. So, then I say, I wonder what is in the evening papers, and out I slip, and when I come back you will all have settled down to ordinary life, same as other people. That's my plan.
Starting point is 00:22:52 He goes off, not without hope, and Genevra shrugs her shoulders forgivingly. How strange boys are! She reflects. Have you any plan, Amy? Only this dear Jenevra to leap into my mother's arms. Dinephra lifts what can only be called a trouser leg, because that is what it is, though they are very seldom seen alone. What is this my busy bee is making? It's a gentleman's leg.
Starting point is 00:23:21 Amy explains, not without a sweet blush. You hand sew them and stretch them over a tin cylinder, and they are then used as umbrella stands. Art in the home says they are all the wrong. rage. Oh, Amy, boudoir gossip says they have quite gone out. Again, every art decoration I try goes out before I have time to finish it. She remembers the diary. Did my Genevra like my new page? Dearest, that is what I came down to speak about. You forgot to give me the key. Genevra, can you ever forgive me? Let us go up and read it together. With arms locked,
Starting point is 00:24:01 they seek the seclusion of Amy's bedroom. Cosmo rushes in to tell them that there is a suspicious-looking cab coming down the street, but finding the room empty, he departs again to reconnoiter. A cab draws up, a bell rings, and soon we hear the voice of Colonel Gray. He can talk coherently to Fanny. He can lend a hand in dumping down his luggage in the passage. He can select from a handful of silver wherewithal to pay his cabman. All impossible deeds to his Alice, who would drop the luggage on your tour,
Starting point is 00:24:31 toes and cast all the silver at your face rather than be kept another minute from her darlings. She has evidently cried just before we see her, and Fanny has made a heartless response, for it is a dejected Alice that appears in the doorway of the room. All out? She echoes woefully. Even, even baby? Yes, ma'am. The poor mother, who had entered the house like a whirlwind, subsides into a chair. Her arms fall empty by her side.
Starting point is 00:25:03 A moment ago she had six of them, a pair for each child. She cries a little. And when Alice cries, which is not often, for she is more given to laughter, her face screws up like Molly's rather than like Amy's. She is very unlike the sketch of her lately made by the united fancies of her son and daughter, and she will dance them round the room many times before they know her better. Amy will never be so pretty as her mother, Cosmo will never be so gay, and it will be years before either of them is as young.
Starting point is 00:25:33 but it is quite a minute before we suspect this. We must look the other way while the colonel dries her tears. He is quite a grizzled veteran, and is trying hard to pretend that, having done without his children for so many years, a few minutes more is no great matter. His adorable Alice is this man's one joke. Some of those furrows in his brow have come from trying to understand her.
Starting point is 00:25:57 He owes the agility of his mind to trying to keep up with her. The humorous twist in his mouth is a result of chuckling over her. She flutters across the room. Robert! She says, thrilling. I dare say my Amy painted that table. Yes, ma'am, she did. Says Fanny.
Starting point is 00:26:16 Robert, Amy's table. Yes, but keep cool, men sob. I suppose, ma'am, I'm to take my orders from you now. The hard-hearted Fanny inquires. I suppose so. Alice says, so timidly did she. Fannie is encouraged to be bold. The poem is,
Starting point is 00:26:37 it'll be a bit trying for her, just at first. Alice has taken it back. I hadn't thought of that, Robert. Robert thinks it is time to take command. Fiddledy-D. Bring your mistress a cup of tea, my girl. Yes, sir. Yes, the tea,
Starting point is 00:26:53 Cary, ma'am. I can't take the responsibility, but this is the key. Robert. Alice says, falteringly. I dared to break into Amy's caddy. She mightn't like it. I can wait. Rubbish. Give me the key. Even Fanny cannot but admire the colonel as he breaks into the caddy. That makes me feel I'm master of my own house already. Don't stare at me, girl, as if I was a housebreaker. I feel that is just what we both are.
Starting point is 00:27:25 His wife says, but as soon as they are alone, she cries. It's home. India done? Home. Home begun. He is as glad as she. Home, Mesa, and we've never had a real one before. Thank God I'm able to give it you at last. She darts impulsively from one object in the room to another. Look, these pictures! I'm sure they are all Amy's work. They are splendid. With perhaps a moment's misgiving, aren't they? I couldn't have done them. The colonel says guardedly. He considers the hand-painted curtains. She seemed to have stopped everything in the middle. Still, I couldn't have done them. I expect
Starting point is 00:28:09 this is what is called a cozy corner. But Alice has found something more precious. She utters little cries of rapture. What is it? Oh, Robert, a baby shoe. My baby. She presses it to her as if it were a dove. Then she is appalled. Robert, if I had met my baby coming along the street, I should have known her from other people's babies. Yes, you would. The colonel says hurriedly. Don't break down now. Just think, Alice, after today you will know your baby anywhere.
Starting point is 00:28:47 Oh, joy, joy, joy. Then the expression of her face changes to... Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. What is it now, Alice? Perhaps she won't like me. Impossible. Perhaps none of them will like me. "'My dear Alice, children always love their mother.
Starting point is 00:29:08 Whether they see much of her or not, it's an instinct.' "'Who told you that?' "'You goose it was yourself.' "'I've lost faith in it.' "'He thinks it wise to sound a warning note. "'Of course you must give them a little time.' "'Rober. Robert, not another minute. "'That's not the way people ever love me.
Starting point is 00:29:30 "'They mustn't think me over first or anything of that sort.' If they do, I'm lost. They must love me at once. A good many have done that. Robert says, surveying her quizzically as if she were one of Amy's incomplete works. You are not implying, Robert, that I ever. If I ever did, I always told you about it afterwards, didn't I?
Starting point is 00:29:56 And I certainly never did it until I was sure you were comfortable. You always wrap me up first. He admits. They were only boys, Robert. Poor lonely boys. What are you looking so solemn about, Robert? I was trying to picture you as you will be when you settle down. She is properly abashed. Not settled down yet? With a girl nearly grown up? And yet it's true. It's the tragedy of Alice Gray. She pulls his hair.
Starting point is 00:30:32 Oh, husband, when? "'Then shall I settle down.' "'I can tell you exactly. "'In a year from today, Alice, "'when I took you away to that hum-drumy Indian station, "'I was already quite a middle-aged bloke. "'I chuckled over your gaiety, "'but it gave me lumbago to try to be a gay with you.
Starting point is 00:30:52 "'Poor girl. "'You were like an only child who has to play alone, "'when for one month in the twelve we went to, "'to where the boys were. "'It was like turning you loose in a sweet-stuff shop.' "'Robert, darling, what nonsense you do talk.' "'He makes rather a wry face.' "'I didn't always like it, Memsal.
Starting point is 00:31:13 "'But I knew my dear and could trust her, "'and I often swore to myself when I was shaving. "'I won't ask her to settle down "'until I've given her a year in England. "'A year from today, you harem, scare him. "'By that time your daughter will be almost grown herself, "'and it wouldn't do to let her pass you.' "'Robert, here is an idea.
Starting point is 00:31:32 she and I shall come of age together. I promise, or I shall try to keep one day in front of her, like the school mistresses when they are teaching boys Latin. Dearest, you haven't been disappointed in me as a whole, have you? I haven't paid you for all your dear kindnesses to me in rupees, have I? His answer is of no consequence, for at this moment there arrives a direct message. from heaven. It comes by way of the nursery and is a child's cry. The heart of Alice Gray stops beating for several seconds. Then it says, the nurse appears, starts, and is at once on the defensive. Is it Mrs. Gray? Yes. Is my child in there? Yes, mom. Colonel, ready to catch her if she falls. Alice, be calm. May I go in, nurse? Nurse,
Starting point is 00:32:33 cold-heartedly. She is sleeping, ma'am, and I have made it a rule to let her wake up naturally. But I dare say it's a bad rule. Alice, her hands on her heart. I'm sure it's a good rule. I shan't wake her nurse. Colonel, showing the stuff he is made of. Dad, I will. It's the least she can do to let herself be wakened. Alice, admiring the effrontery of the man.
Starting point is 00:33:00 Don't interfere, Robert. Sleeping. Why? She cried out just now. That is why I came out, to see who was making so much noise. An implacable woman, this, and yet when she is alone with Molly, a very bundle of delight. I'm vexed when she cries. A dare say it's old-fashioned of me. Not being a ya-ya, I'm at a disadvantage. Alice, swelling. After all, she is my child.
Starting point is 00:33:32 Come along, Alice. I would prefer to go alone, dear. All right, but break it to her that I'm kicking my heels outside. Alice gets as far as the door. The nurse discharges the last duty. You won't touch her, ma'am. She doesn't like to be touched by strangers. Strangers?
Starting point is 00:33:53 Really? Nurse! It's quite true. She's an angel, if you have the right way with her. Robert, if I shouldn't have the right way with her. You. But the woman has scored again. Alice, willing to go on her knees. Nurse, what sort of a way does she like from strangers?
Starting point is 00:34:17 She's not fond of a canoodling way. Is she not? She departs to face her child, and the natural enemy follows her after giving Colonel Gray a moment in which to discharge her if he dares, that is if he wishes to see his baby wither and die. One may as well say here that Nurse weathered this and many another gale and remained in the house for many years to be its comfort and its curse.
Starting point is 00:34:42 Fanny, with the tea-tray, comes and goes without the colonels being aware of her presence. He merely knows that he has waved someone away. The fact is that the colonel is engrossed in a rather undignified pursuit. He is listening avidly at the nursery door, and is thus discovered by another member of the family who has entered cautiously. This is Master Cosmo, who, observing the tea tray, has the happy notion of interposing it between himself and his father's possible osculary intentions. He lifts the tray, and thus armed, introduces himself.
Starting point is 00:35:16 Hello, father. His father leaves the door and strides to him. Is it—it's Cosmo! Cosmo, with the tray well to the fore. I'm awfully glad to the door. to see you. It's a long way from India. Put that down, my boy. Let me get hold of you. Have some tea, father. Put it down.
Starting point is 00:35:38 Cosmo does so and prepares for the worst. The colonel takes both his hands. Let's have a look at you. So this is you. He whackles his head, well pleased, while Cosmo backs in a gentlemanly manner. Cosmo, implying that this first meeting is now an affair of the past. Has mother gone to lie down? Lie down? She's in there. Cosmo steals to the nursery door and softly closes it. Why did you do that?
Starting point is 00:36:07 I don't know. I thought it would be best. In a burst of candor, this is not the way I planned it, you see. Our meeting? So you've been planning it? My dear fellow, I was planning it too in my plan. He is certainly coming closer. Yes, I know. Now that's over. Our first meeting, I mean. Now we settle down. Not yet.
Starting point is 00:36:28 Come here, my boy. He draws him to a chair. He evidently thinks that a father and his boy of thirteen can sit in the same chair. Cosmo is burning to be nice to him, but of course there are limits. Look here, father. Of course, you see, ways change. I dare say they did it when you were a boy, but it isn't done now. What isn't done, you dear fellow?
Starting point is 00:36:53 Oh, well. And then taking it. taking both hands and saying, Dear fellow, it's gone out, you know. The Colonel chuckles in for bears. I'm uncommon, glad you told me, Cosmo. Not having been a father for so long, you see, I'm rather raw at it. Cosmo, relieved.
Starting point is 00:37:12 That's all right. You'll soon get the hang of it. If you could give me any other tips. Cosmo, becoming confidential. Well, there's my beastly name. Of course, you didn't mean any harm when you didn't mean any harm when you were. you christened me Cosmo, but I always find myself C. Gray, to make the fellows think I'm Charles. Do they call you that? Lord, no, they call me
Starting point is 00:37:38 Gray. And do you want me to call you Gray? Cosmo, magnanimously. No, I don't expect that, but I thought that before people, you know, you needn't call me anything. If you want to attract my attention, you could just say, HIST, like that. Right, you are. But she won't make your mother call you hist. Oh, no. Of course, women are different. You'll be very nice to her, Cosmo.
Starting point is 00:38:07 She had to pinch and save more than I should have allowed to be able to send you into the Navy. We are poor people, you know. I've been planning how to be nice to her. Good lad, good lad. Cosmo remembers his conversation with Amy and thoughtfully hides the yellow flowers behind a photograph. This may be called one of his plans for being nice to his mother.
Starting point is 00:38:29 You don't have your medals here, father. No, I don't carry them about, but your mother does, the goose. They're not a very grand one, Cosmo. Yes, they are. An awkward silence falls. The colonel has so much to say that he can only look it. He looks at so eloquently that Cosmo's fears return. He summons the plan to his help.
Starting point is 00:38:51 I wonder what is in the evening. papers. If you don't mind, I'll cut out and get one. Before he can cut out, however, Alice is in the room, the picture of distress. No wonder, for even we can hear the baby howling. My baby, Robert, listen, that is how I affect her. Cosmo cowers unseen. No, no, darling, it isn't you who made her cry. She is teething. It's her teeth, isn't it? He barks at the nurse, who emerges looking not altogether woeful. It's her teeth, woman. Nurse, taking this as a reflection on her charge.
Starting point is 00:39:28 She had her teeth long ago. Alice, the forlorn. The better to bite me with. Nurse, complacently. I don't understand it. She is usually the best tempered lamb, as you may see for yourself, sir. It is an intimation that the colonel is eager to accept. But after one step toward the nursery, he is true to Alice.
Starting point is 00:39:52 I decline to see her. I refuse to have anything to do with her until she becomes more reasonable frame of mind. The nurse retires, to convey possibly this ultimatum to her charge. Alice, in the noblest spirit of self-abnegation, Go, Robert. Perhaps she will like you better. She's a contemptible child.
Starting point is 00:40:15 But that nursery door does draw him strongly. He finds himself getting nearer and nearer to it. I'll show her. With a happy pretense that his object is merely to enforce discipline. The forgotten Cosmo pops up again. The Colonel introduces him with a gesture and darts off to his baby. My son! Cosmo, forgetting all plans.
Starting point is 00:40:38 Mother! She envelopes him in her arms, worshipping him and he likes it. Oh, Cosmo! How splendid you are! That's all right, mother. Say it again. That's all right. No, the other word. Mother
Starting point is 00:40:53 Again Mother When she has come too Are you better now He is my son And he is in uniform Cosmo Aware that allowances must be made
Starting point is 00:41:08 Yes, I know Are you glad to see your mother, Cosmo? Rather Will you have some tea No, no I feel I can do nothing For the rest of my life but hug my glorious boy.
Starting point is 00:41:24 Of course, I have my work. His work. Do the officers love you, Cosmo? Love me? I should think not. I should like to ask them all to come and stay with us. Great Scott, Mother. You can't do things like that.
Starting point is 00:41:42 Can't I? Are you very studious, Cosmo? My favorite authors are William Shakespeare and William Milton. They are garands, don't you think? I'm only a woman, you see, and I'm afraid they sometimes bore me, especially William Milton. Do they? Me too. Alice, on the verge of tears again. But not half so much as I bore my baby.
Starting point is 00:42:13 Cosmo, anxious to help her. What did you do to her? I couldn't help wanting to hold her in my arms, could I, Cosmo? No, of course you couldn't. He reflects. How did you take hold of her? I suppose in some clumsy way. Not like this, was it?
Starting point is 00:42:36 I dare say. You should have done it this way. He very kindly shows her how to carry a baby. Alice, with becoming humility. Thank you, Cosmo. He does not observe the gleam in her eye, and is in the high good humor that comes to any man when any woman asks him to show her how to do anything.
Starting point is 00:42:57 If you like, I'll show you with a cushion. You see, this, scoops it up, is wrong, but this... He does a little sleight of hand, is right. Another way is this, with their head hanging over your shoulder, and you holding on firmly to their legs. You wouldn't think it was comfortable, but... They like it. Alice, adoring him.
Starting point is 00:43:24 I see, Cosmo. She practices diligently with the cushion. First this way, then this. That's first class. It's just a knack. You'll soon pick it up. Alice, practicing on him instead of the cushion. You darling boy.
Starting point is 00:43:42 I think I hear a boy calling the evening papers. Alice, clinging to him. Don't go. There can be nothing. in the evening papers about what my boy thinks of his mother. Good Lord, no. He thinks quickly. You haven't seen Amy yet.
Starting point is 00:44:01 It isn't fair of Amy. She should have been here to take some of it off me. Cosmo, you don't mean that I bore you too. He is pained. It is now he who boldly encircles her. But his words, though well meant, are not so happy as his action. I love you, mum. mother, and I don't think you're so yellow.
Starting point is 00:44:24 Alice, the bell of many stations. Yellow? Her brain reels. Cosmo, do you think me plain? No, I don't. I'm not one of the kind who judge people by their looks. The soul, you know, is what I judge them by. Plain? Me?
Starting point is 00:44:45 Cosmo, the comforter. Of course, it's all right for girls to bother about people. being pretty. He lures her away from the subject. I can tell you a funny thing about that. We had theatricals at Osborne one night, and we played a thing called the Royal Boots. Alice, clapping her hands.
Starting point is 00:45:05 I played in that too, last year. You? Yes. Why shouldn't I? But we did it for fun. So did we. Cosmo, his views on the universe crumbling. You still like fun? Take care, Cosmo.
Starting point is 00:45:26 But you're our mother. Mustn't mothers have fun? Must they? I see. You had played the Dowager. No, I didn't. I played the girl in the Wellington boots. Cosmo, blinking.
Starting point is 00:45:43 Mother, I played the girl in the Wellington boots. Alice, happily. My son, this is. This art ring is closer together. Cosmo, who was not yet learned to leave well alone. But the reason I did it was that we were all boys. Were there no young ladies were you did it, mother? Cosmo.
Starting point is 00:46:06 She is not a tamed mother yet, and in sudden wrath she flips his face with her hand. He accepts it as a smack. The Colonel foolishly chooses this moment to make his return. He is in high good humor, and does not observe that two of his nearest relatives are glaring at each other. Colonel, purring offensively. It's all right now. Alice, she took to me at once. Oh, did she?
Starting point is 00:46:31 Gurgled at me, pulled my mustache. I hope you got on with our dear son as well. Isn't he a fine fellow? I have just been smacking his face. She sits down and weeps, while her son stands haughtily at attention. Colonel, with a groan, Hist, I think you had better go and get that evening paper. Cosmo departs with his flag flying, and the bewildered husband seeks enlightenment.
Starting point is 00:46:58 Smacked his face, but why, Alice? He infuriated me. He seemed such a good boy. No doubt he is. It must be very trying to have me for a mother. Perhaps you were too demonstrative? I dare say. A woman he doesn't know? No wonder I disgusted him. I can't make it out. Alice, objectively.
Starting point is 00:47:23 It's quite simple. He saw through me at once. So did baby. The Colonel flings up his hands. He hears whisperings outside the door. He peeps and returns excitedly. Alice, there's a girl there with Cosmo. Alice, on her feet with a cry.
Starting point is 00:47:39 Amy. Colonel, trembling. I suppose so. Alice, gripping him. Robert, if she doesn't love him. me, I shall die. She will, she will. But he has grown nervous.
Starting point is 00:47:55 Don't be too demonstrative, dearest. I shall try to be cold. Oh, Amy, love me. Amy comes, her hair up, and is at once in her father's arms. Then she wants to leap into the arms of the mother who craves for her. But Alice is afraid of being too demonstrative
Starting point is 00:48:14 and restrains herself. She presses Amy's hands only. you, Amy. How are you, dear? She ventures at last to kiss her. It is a great pleasure to you, father, me to see you again. Amy, damped. Thank you, mother. Of course I have been looking forward to this meeting very much also. Alice, shuddering. It is very sweet of you to say so. Oh, how cold. They are both thinking, while the colonel regards them uncomfortably. Amy turns to him. She knows already that there is safe harbberds there.
Starting point is 00:48:53 Would you have known me, father? I wonder. She's not like you, Alice. No, I used to be demonstrative, Amy. Were you? Oh, I grew out of it long ago. Amy, disappointed but sympathetic. The wear and tear of life. Alice, wincing.
Starting point is 00:49:14 No doubt. Amy, making conversation. Have you seen a lot? Yes. Amy, with pardonable curiosity. What did you think of him? He seemed a nice boy. Amy, hurt.
Starting point is 00:49:29 And baby? Yes, oh yes. Isn't she fat? Is she? The nurse's head intrudes. If you please, sir, I think baby wants you again. The colonel's face exudes complacency, but he has the grace to falter. What do you think, Alice?
Starting point is 00:49:50 Alice, broken under the blow. By all means, go. Won't you come also? Perhaps if I were with you? Alice, after giving him an annihilating look. No, I had quite a long time with her. The colonel tiptoes off to his babe with a countenance of foolish rapture
Starting point is 00:50:10 and mother and daughter are alone. Amy, wishing her father would come back. You can't have been very long with baby, mother. Quite long enough. Oh. Some seconds elapsed before she can speak again. You will have some tea, won't you? Thank you, dear.
Starting point is 00:50:29 They sit down to a chilly meal. Amy, merely a hostess. Both milk and sugar. Alice, merely a guest. No sugar. I hope you will like the house, mother. I'm sure you have chosen wisely. I see you are artistic.
Starting point is 00:50:47 The decoration is infinite. I haven't quite decided what this room is to be like yet. One never can tell. Amy, making conversation. Did you notice that there is a circular drive to the house? No, I didn't notice. That would be because the cab filled it, but you can see it if you are walking.
Starting point is 00:51:07 I shall look out for it. Grown desperate. Amy, have you nothing more important to say to me? Amy, faltering. You mean the keys? Here they are, all with labels on them. And here are the tradesman's books. They are all paid up to Wednesday. She sadly lets them go. They lie disregarded in her mother's lap. Is there nothing else? Amy, with a flash of pride.
Starting point is 00:51:38 Perhaps you have noticed that my hair is up? It so took me aback, Amy, when you came into the room. How long have you had it up? Amy, with large eyes Not very long. I began only today. Alice, imploringly. Dear, put it down again. You are not grown up.
Starting point is 00:52:00 Amy, almost sternly. I feel I am a woman now. Alice, object. A woman? You? Am I never to know my daughter as a girl? You were married before you were 18. Ah, but I had no mother, and even at that age I knew the world.
Starting point is 00:52:22 Amy, smiling sadly. Oh, mother, not so well as I know it. Alice sharply. What can you know of the world? Amy, shuddering. More, I hope, mother, than you will ever know. Alice alarmed. My child!
Starting point is 00:52:41 Seizing her. Amy, tell me what you know. No. Don't ask me, please. I have sworn not to talk of it. Sworn? To whom? To another. Alice, with a sinking, pounces on her daughter's engagement finger, but it is unadorned. Tell me, Amy, who is that other? Amy, bravely. It is our secret. Amy, I beg you. Amy, a heroic figure.
Starting point is 00:53:12 Dear mother, I am so sorry I must decline. You defy me. She takes hold of her daughter's shoulders. Amy, you drive me frantic. If you don't tell me at once, I shall insist on your father. Oh, you... It is not to be denied that she is shaking Amy when the Colonel once more intrudes.
Starting point is 00:53:34 Colonel, aghast. Good heavens, Alice, again. Amy, what does this mean? Amy, as she runs, insulted and in tears, from the room. It means, father. that I love you very much. Colonel Badgered. Won't you explain, Alice?
Starting point is 00:53:51 Robert, I am in terror about Amy. Why? Don't ask me, dear, not now. Not till I have spoken to her again. She clings to her husband. Robert, there can't be anything in it. If you mean anything wrong with our girl, there isn't Memsaab.
Starting point is 00:54:10 What great innocent eyes she has. Alice eagerly. Yes. yes hasn't she robert all's well with amy dear of course it is it was silly of me my amy and mine but she seems to me hard to understand with her head on his breast i begin to feel robert that i should have come back to my children long ago or i shouldn't have come back at all the colonel is endeavouring to soothe her when stephen rollo was shown in. He is very young, too young to be a villain, too round-faced, but he is all the villain we can provide for Amy. His entrance is less ostentatious than it might be if he knew of the role that has been assigned to him. He thinks indeed, sometimes with a sigh, that he is a very good
Starting point is 00:55:04 young man, and the Colonel and Alice, without the sigh, thinks so too. After warm greetings, Alice, I dare say you wish me at Jericho, but it's six months since I saw you, and I couldn't wait till tomorrow. Alice, giving him her cheek. I believe there's someone in this house glad to see me at last, and you may kiss me for that, Steve. Steve, who has found the cheek wet, you're not telling me they don't adore her. I can't understand it. But by all the gods of India, you know everyone has all. Always adored Alice.
Starting point is 00:55:43 That's why I take it so ill, Steve. Can I do anything? See here, if the house is upside down, and you would like to get rid of the Colonel for an hour or two, suppose he dines with me tonight. I'm dying to hear all the news of the Punjab since I left. Colonel, with an eye on the nursery door. No, Steve, I...
Starting point is 00:56:04 The fact is, I have an engagement. Alice, vindictively... He means he can't leave the baby. It has taken to him? Colonel, swaggering. Enormously. Alice, whimpering. They all have. He has stolen them from me.
Starting point is 00:56:23 He has taken up his permanent residence in the nursery. Poe, Fiddledi. I shall probably come round tonight to see you after dinner, Steve, and bring Memsaab with me. In the meantime. Alice, whose mind is still misgiving her about Amy? In the meantime, I've been a bit of her. I want to have a word with Steve alone, Robert. Very good.
Starting point is 00:56:46 Stealing towards a nursery. Then I shall pop in here again. How is the tea business prospering in London, Steve? Glad you left India? I don't have half the salary I had in India, but my health is better. How are rupees? Stop it. He is making a doll of his handkerchief for the further subjugation of Molly.
Starting point is 00:57:07 He sees his happy face in a looking-glass and is ashamed of it. Alice, I wish it was you they loved. Alice, with withering scorn, Oh, go back to your baby. As soon as the colonel has gone, she turns anxiously to Steve. Steve, tell me candidly what you think of my girl. But I have never set eyes on her.
Starting point is 00:57:31 Oh, I was hoping you knew her well. She goes sometimes to the Deans and the Rawlings, all our old Indian friends. So do I. but we never happen to be there at the same time. They speak of her, though. What do they say? They are enthusiastic, an ideal sweet girl.
Starting point is 00:57:53 Alice, relieved. I'm so glad. Now you can go, Steve. It's odd to think of the bell of the Punjab as a mother of a big girl. Don't, or I shall begin to think it's absurd myself. Surely the boy felt the spell. She shakes her head. But the boys always did.
Starting point is 00:58:15 They were older boys. I believe I was the only one you never flirted with. Alice, smiling. No one could flirt with you, Steve. Steve, pondering, I wonder why. The problem has troubled him occasionally for years. I wonder.
Starting point is 00:58:35 I suppose there's some sort of want in me. Perhaps that's it. No, it's because. because you were always such a good boy. Steve, wincing. I don't know. Sometimes, when I saw you all flirting, I wanted to do it too. But I could never think of how to begin.
Starting point is 00:58:55 I feel sure there's something pleasant about it. You are a dear old donkey, Steve. But I'm glad you came. It has made the place seem more like home. All these years I was looking forward to home and now I feel that perhaps it is the place I have left behind me. The joyous gurgling of Molly draws them to the nursery door, and there they are observed by Amy and Geneva who enter from the hall.
Starting point is 00:59:24 The screen is close to the two girls, and they have so often in the last week seen stage figures pop behind screens that, mechanically, as it were, they pop behind this one. Steve, who little knows that he is now entering on the gay career. Listen to the infant. Isn't it horrid of Robert to get on with her so well? Steve, say Robert's a brute. Steve, as he bids her good afternoon,
Starting point is 00:59:50 of course he is, a selfish beast. There's another kiss to you for saying so. The doomed woman presents her cheek again. And you'll come to me after dinner tonight, Alice? Here, I'll leave my card. I'm not half a mile from this street. I mayn't be able to get away. It will depend on whether my silly husband wants to stay with his wretch of a baby.
Starting point is 01:00:16 I'll see you to the door. Steve, you're much nicer than Robert. With these dreadful words, she and the libertine go. Amy and Geneva emerge white to the lips, or at least they feel as white as that. Amy, clinging to the screen for support, He kissed her. He called her Alice.
Starting point is 01:00:39 She is going to his house tonight, in assignation. They will be chambers, Amy. They are always chambers. And after dinner, he said, so he's stingy too. Here is his card. Mr. Stephen Rollo. I have heard of him. They said he was a nice man.
Starting point is 01:00:59 The address is Kensington West. That's the new name for West Kensington. My poor father. It would kill him. Ginevra, the mastermind He must never know Ginevra, what's to be done? Thank heaven we know exactly what to do.
Starting point is 01:01:17 It rests with you to save her. Amy, trembling. You mean I must go? To his chambers? At any cost. Evening dress? It is always evening dress. And don't be afraid of his man, dear.
Starting point is 01:01:34 They always have a man. Oh, Genevra. First try fascination. You remember how they fling back their cloak? Like this, dear. If that fails, threaten him. You must get back the letters. There are always letters. If father should suspect and follow, they usually do. Then you must sacrifice yourself for her. Does my dearest falter? Amy, pressing Jennifer's hand, I will do my duty. Oh, Jennifer, What things there will be to put in my diary tonight? End of Act 1
Starting point is 01:02:13 Act 2 of Aliceid by the Fire by J.M. Barry. This is a Lieberbox recording. All Lieberbox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visitliborbox.org. Act 2 Night has fallen, and Amy is probably. now in her bedroom, fully arrayed for her dreadful mission. She says goodbye to her diary, perhaps for I. She steals from the house, to a very different scene, which, if one were sufficiently
Starting point is 01:02:51 daring, would represent a man's chamber at midnight. There is no really valid excuse for shirking this scene, which is so popular that every theatre has it stowed away in readiness. It is capable of setting itself, should the stage-hands forget to do so. It should be a handsome, sombre room in oak and dark red, with sinister easy-chairs and couches, great curtains discreetly drawn, a door to enter by, a door to hide by, a carelessly strewn table on which to write a letter reluctantly to dictation. Another table exquisitely decorated for supper for two, champagne in an ice-bucket, many rows of books which on close examination will prove to be painted wood. The stage Lothario is not being really reading men.
Starting point is 01:03:38 The lamps shed a diffused light, and one of them is slightly odd in construction, because it is for knocking over presently in order to let the lady escape unobserved. Through this room moves occasionally the man's man, sleek, imperturbable, announcing the lady, the lady's husband, the woman friend who was trying to save them. He says little, but is responsible for all the arrangements going right. before the curtain rises he may be conceived trying the lamp and making sure that the lady will not stick in the door that is how it ought to be that is how amy has seen it several times in the past week and now that we come to the grapple we wish we could give you what you want for you do want it you have been used to it and you will feel that you are looking at a strange middle act without it but steve cannot have such a room as this he has only two hundred and fifty pounds a year including the legacy from his aunt Besides, though he is to be Lothario, in so far as we can manage it, he is not at present aware of this, and has made none of the necessary arrangements. If one of his lamps is knocked over, it will certainly explode, and there cannot be a secret door without its leaning into the adjoining house.
Starting point is 01:04:50 Theaters keep special kinds of architects to design their rooms. There is indeed a little cupboard where his crockery is kept, and if Amy is careful she might be able to squeeze in there. We cannot even make the hour midnight. It is 8.30, quite late enough for her to be out alone. Steve has just finished dinner in his comfortable lodgings. He is not even an evening dress, but he does wear a lounge jacket, which we devoutly hope will give him a rakish air to Amy's eyes. He would undoubtedly have put on evening dress if he had known she was coming.
Starting point is 01:05:22 His man, Richardson, is waiting on him. When we wrote that, we deliberated a long time. It has an air. and with a little low cunning, we could make you think to the very end that Richardson was a male. But if the play is acted and you go to see it, you would be disappointed. Steve, the wretched fellow, never had a man, and Richardson is only his landlady's slavy, aged about fifteen and wistful at the sight of food. We introduce her gazing at Steve's platter as if it were a fairy tale.
Starting point is 01:05:52 Steve has often caught her with this rapt expression on her face, and sometimes, as now, an engaging game ensues. Richardson, blinking. Are you finished, sir? To those who know the game, this means, are you ready to leave the other shop, the one sitting lonely and lovely
Starting point is 01:06:10 beneath the dish cover? Yes. In the game, this is merely a tantalizer. Richardson, almost sure that he is in the right mood and sending out a feeler. Then, am I to clear? No.
Starting point is 01:06:25 This is intended to puzzle her, but it is a move he has made so often that she understands its meaning at once. A Richardson, an entranced giggles. He he! Steve, vacating his seat. Sit down. Again. Sit down, and clear the enemy out of that dish.
Starting point is 01:06:45 By the enemy he means the other chop. What a name for a chop. Steve plays the part of Butler. He brings her a plate from the little cupboard. Dinner is served, madam. Richardson, who will probably be a great duchess someday. I don't mind if I does have a snack. She places herself at the table after what she conceives to be the manner of the gentile gluttonous.
Starting point is 01:07:10 Then she quakes a little. If Mrs. was to catch me. She knows that Mrs. is probably sitting downstairs with her arms folded, hopeful of the chop for herself. You tuck in, and I'll keep watch. He goes to the door to peer over the banisters. It is all part of the game. Richardson promptly tucks in with horrid relish. What makes you so good to me, sir?
Starting point is 01:07:34 A gentleman is always good to a lady. Richardson, preening. A lady? Go on. And when I found that, at my dinner hour, you were subject to growing pains. I remembered my own youth. Potatoes, madam. Richardson, neatly.
Starting point is 01:07:55 If quite convenient. The kindly young man surveys her for some time in silence while she has various happy adventures. Can I smoke, Richardson? Of course you can smoke. I've often seen you smoking. Steve, little aware of what an evening the sex is to give him. But have I your permission? You're at your tricks again. Have you forgotten already how I told you a true lady would answer?
Starting point is 01:08:22 I mind, but it makes me that shy. She has, however. a try at it. Ah, do smoke, Mr. Rolo. I loves the smell of it. Steve lights his pipe. No real villain smokes a pipe. Smoking is a blessed companion
Starting point is 01:08:40 to a lonely devil like myself. Yes, sir. Would you say devil to a real lady, sir? Steve, it may be hoped, is properly confused, but here the little idol of the chop is brought to a close by the tinkle of a bell. Richardson springs to attention. That will be the friends you're expecting.
Starting point is 01:09:03 I was only half expecting them, but I dare say you were right. Have you finished, Richardson? Thereabouts. Would a real lady lick the bone? In company, I mean? You know, I hardly think so. Then I'm finished. Steve, disappearing. Say I'll be back in a jiffy.
Starting point is 01:09:25 "'I need a brushing, Richardson.' "'Richardson, no longer in company, "'is about to hold a last friendly communion with the bone "'when there is a knock at the door, "'followed by the entrance of a mysterious lady. "'You could never guess who the lady is, "'so we may admit at once that it is Miss Amy Gray. "'Amy is an evening dress, her only evening dress,
Starting point is 01:09:47 "'and over it is the cloak, "'which she is presently to fling back with staggering effect. "'Just now her pale face is hiding behind the collar of it, for she is quaking inwardly, though strung up to a terrible ordeal. The room is not as she expected, but she knows that men are cunning. Amy frowning, Are these Mr. Rolo's chambers? The woman told me to knock at this door.
Starting point is 01:10:12 She remembers with a certain satisfaction that the woman had looked at her suspiciously. Richardson, the tray in her hand to give her confidence. Yes, ma'am. He will be down in a minute, ma'am. He's expecting you, ma'am. Expecting her, is he? Amy smiles the bitter smile of knowledge. We shall see. She looks about her.
Starting point is 01:10:35 Where is his man? Richardson, with the guilt of the chop on her conscience. What man? Amy, brushing the subterfuge aside. His man. They always have a man. Richardson, with spirit. He is a man himself. Come, girl.
Starting point is 01:10:55 Who waits on him? Me! Amy, rather daunted. No man? Very strange. Fortunately, she seized the two plates. Stop. Her eyes glisten.
Starting point is 01:11:10 Two persons have been dining here. Richardson begins to tremble. Why do you look so scared? Was the other a gentleman? Oh, ma'am! Amy triumphantly. It was not. But her.
Starting point is 01:11:25 triumph gives way to bewilderment, for she knows that when she left the house her mother was still in it. Then who can the visitor have been? Why are you trying to hide that plate? Was it a lady? Girl tell me was it a lady? Richardson, at bay. He, he calls her a lady? Amy, the obnitioned. But you know better. Of course I know she ain't a real lady. Another woman. and not even a lady. She has no mercy on the witness. Tell me, is this the first time she has dined here? Richardson, fixed by Amy's eye.
Starting point is 01:12:06 No, ma'am. I meant no harm, ma'am. I am not blaming you. Can you remember how often she has dined here? Well, can I remember? Three times last week. Three times in one week. Monstrous.
Starting point is 01:12:23 Richardson, with her gown to her eyes. Yes, ma'am. I see it now. Amy, considering and pouncing. Do you think she is an adventress? What's that? Does she smoke cigarettes? No, she don't. Amy, taken aback.
Starting point is 01:12:43 Not an adventress. She wishes Geneva was here to help her. She draws upon her stock of knowledge. Can she be secretly married to him? A wife of the past turned up to blackmail him? That's very common. Oh, ma'am, you are terrifying me. I wasn't talking to you.
Starting point is 01:13:03 You may go. Stop. How long had she been here before I came? She... Her... What are you speaking about? Come, I must know. The terrible admission refuses to pass Richardson's lips,
Starting point is 01:13:18 and of a sudden Amy has a dark suspicion. Has she gone? Is she here now? It was just a chop. What makes you so grudging of a chop? I don't care what they ate. Has she gone? Oh, ma'am! The little maid, bearing the dishes, backs to the door,
Starting point is 01:13:39 opens it with her foot and escapes from this terrible visitor. The drawn curtains attract Amy's eagle eye, and she looks behind them. There is no one there. She pulls open the door the cupboard, and says firmly, Come out. No one comes. She peeps into the cupboard and finds it's empty.
Starting point is 01:13:57 A cupboard and no one in it. How strange. She sits down almost in tears, wishing very much for the council of Geneva. Thus Steve finds her when he returns. I'm awfully glad, Alice, that you... He stops abruptly at the sight of a strange lady. As for Amy, the word Alice brings her to her feet. Sir?
Starting point is 01:14:21 A short term. remark but withering. I beg your pardon. I thought. The fact is that I expected. You see, you are a stranger to me. My name is Rolo. You're not calling on me, are you? Amy inclines her head in a way that Genefer and she have practiced. Then she flings back her cloak as suddenly as an expert may open an umbrella. Having done this, she awaits results. Steve, however, has no knowledge of how to play his part. He probably favors musical comedy. He says lamely
Starting point is 01:14:54 I still think there must be some mistake Amy in italics There is no mistake Then is there anything I can do for you? You can do so much Perhaps if you'll sit down Amy decides to humor him so far She would like to sit in the lovely stage way
Starting point is 01:15:15 When they know so precisely where the chair is That they can sit without a glance at it But she dare not though Genefer would have risked it. Steve is emboldened to say, By the way, you have not told me your name. Amy, nervously. If you please, do you mind my not telling it?
Starting point is 01:15:35 Oh, very well. First, he thinks there is something innocent about her request, and then he wonders if innocent is the right word. Well, your business, please. He demands, like the man of the world he hopes some day to be. Why are you not an evening dress? Steve, taken aback. Does that matter?
Starting point is 01:15:56 Amy, though it still worries her. I suppose not. Steve, with growing stiffness. Your business, if you will be so good. Amy advances upon him. She has been seated in any case as long as they ever do sit on the stage in the same chair. Stephen Rolo, the game is up. She likes this.
Starting point is 01:16:16 She will be able to go on now. Steve, recalling guiltily, or so she will describe it to Dinephra. What on earth? Amy, suffering from a determination from the mouth of phrases she has collected in five theaters. A chance discovery, Mr. Stephen Rolo, has betrayed your secret to me. Steve, awed. My secret? What is it? He rushes rapidly through a well-spent youth.
Starting point is 01:16:44 Amy, risking a good deal. It is this. That woman is your wife. What woman? The woman who dined with you here this evening. With me? This is useless. As I have already said, the game is up. Steve, glancing in a mirror to make sure he is still the same person.
Starting point is 01:17:04 You look, a nice girl, but dash it all. Whom can you be taking me for? Tell me some more about myself. Please desist. I know everything. And in a way I am sorry for you. All these years you have kept the marriage. is secret, for she is a horrid sort of woman, and now she has come back to blackmail you.
Starting point is 01:17:25 That, however, is not my affair. Steve, with unexpected power of irony. Oh, I wouldn't say that. I do say it, Mr. Stephen Rollo. I shall keep your secret. Ought you? On one condition, and one condition only, that you return to me the letters. The letters?
Starting point is 01:17:48 The letters. Steve walks the length of his room, regarding her sideways. Look here, honestly, I don't know what you're talking about. You know, I could be angry with you, but I feel sure you are sincere. Indeed, I am. Well, then, I assure you, on my word of honour, that no lady was dining with me this evening, and that I have no wife. Amy, blankly. No wife?
Starting point is 01:18:17 You are sure? Oh, think. I swear it. I am very sorry. She sinks dispiritedly into a chair. Sorry I have no wife. She nods through her tears. Don't cry.
Starting point is 01:18:33 How could my having a wife be a boon to you? Amy, plaintively. It would have put you in the hollow of my hands. Steve, idiotically. And they are nice hands, too. Amy, with a consciousness that he might once upon a time have been saved by a good woman. I suppose that is how you got round her. Steve, stamping his foot.
Starting point is 01:18:59 Haven't I told you that she doesn't exist? I don't mean her. I mean her. He decides that she is a little crazy. Steve soothingly. Come now, we won't go into that again. It was just a mistake. And now that it is all safe.
Starting point is 01:19:16 settled and done with, I'll tell you what we shall do. You will let me get you a cab. She shakes her head. I promise not to listen to the address, and after you have had a good night, you will see things differently. Amy, ashamed of her momentary weakness, and deciding not to enter it in the diary. You are very clever, Mr. Stephen Rollo, but I don't leave this house without the letters. Steve, groaning. I'll say your letters?
Starting point is 01:19:47 How dare you? They are the letters written to you, as you well know, by... Steve eagerly. Yes? By a certain lady. Spare me the pain if you are a gentleman, of having to mention her name. Steve, Sogely. Oh, all right.
Starting point is 01:20:07 She is to pass out of your life tonight. Tomorrow you go abroad for a long time. Steve, with excusable... warps. Oh, do I? Where am I going? We thought... We? A friend and I who have been talking it over. We thought of Africa, to shoot big game. Steve, humoring her, you must be very fond of this lady. I would die for her. Steve, feeling it he ought really to stick up a little for himself. After all, am I so dreadful? Why shouldn't she love me? A married woman!
Starting point is 01:20:44 Steve, gratified. Married? How can you play with me so, sir? She is my mother. Your mother? Fond of me? How dare you look so pleased? I'm not. I didn't mean to.
Starting point is 01:21:01 I say, I wish you would tell me who you are. As if you didn't know. Steve, in a dream. Fond of me? I can't believe it. Rather wistfully. How could she be? It was all your fault.
Starting point is 01:21:18 Such men is you, pitiless men. You made her love you. Steve, still elated. Do you think I'm that kind of man? Oh, sir, let her go. You are strong and she is weak. Think of her poor husband, and give me back the letters. On my word of honour.
Starting point is 01:21:38 Here arrives Richardson, so anxious to come that she is propelled into the room like a ball. "'What is it?' "'A gentleman downstairs, sir, wanting to see you.' "'Amy, saying the right thing at once. "'He must not find me here. My reputation.' "'I can guess who it is. Let me think.' "'He is really glad of the interruption.
Starting point is 01:22:00 "'See here. I'll keep him downstairs for a moment. "'Richardson, take this lady to the upper landing "'until I have brought him in, then show her out.' "'Oh, lower!' "'Amy, rooting herself to her. to the floor. The letters. Steve, as he goes,
Starting point is 01:22:18 Write to me, write to me, I must know more of this. Come quick, miss. Amy, fixing her. You are not deceiving me? You are sure it isn't a lady. Yes, miss. He said his name was Colonel Gray.
Starting point is 01:22:33 Genefer would have known that it must be the husband, but for the moment Amy is appalled. Amy, quivering. Can he suspect? Richardson, who has her own troubles. About the chop? If she should come while he is here. Come along, miss, what's the matter? I can't go away. I am not going. She darts into the cupboard. It is as if she heard Genevre cry. Amy, the cupboard. Richardson, tugging at the
Starting point is 01:23:03 closed door. Come out of that. I promise to put you on the upper landing. You can't go hiding in there, lady. Amy, peeping out. and I will. Let go the door. I came here expecting to have to hide. She closes the door as her father enters with Steve. The Colonel is chatting, but his host sees that Richardson is in distress. Steve, who thinks that the lady has been got rid of, What is it? Would you speak with me a minute, sir? Steve, pointedly. Go away. You have some work to do on the stair. Go and do it. I'm sorry, Colonel.
Starting point is 01:23:43 that you didn't bring Alice with you. She is coming on later. Good. I have come from Pal now. Wanted to look in at the club once more, so I had a chop there. Richardson, with the old sinking. A chap! She depart, with her worst suspicions confirmed.
Starting point is 01:24:02 Steve, as they pull their chairs nearer to the fire, Is Alice coming on from home? Yes, that's it. He stretches out his legs. Steve, home is the best club in the world. such jolly fellows, all the members. You haven't come here to talk about your confounded baby again, have you? Colonel, apologetically.
Starting point is 01:24:23 If you don't mind. I do mind. But if you feel you can stand it. You are my guest, so go ahead. She fell asleep, Steve, holding my finger. Which finger? This one. As Alice would say, soldiering done, baby begun.
Starting point is 01:24:42 Poor old. old chap. I have been through a good deal in my time, Steve, but that is the biggest thing I have ever done. Have a cigar? Brute. Thanks. Here Amy, who cannot hear when the door is closed, opens it slightly.
Starting point is 01:25:00 The Colonel is presently aware that Steve is silently smiling to himself. The Colonel makes a happy guess. Thinking of the Lady Steve? Steve, blandly. To tell the truth, I was thinking. of one? She seems to be a nice girl. She's not exactly a girl. Colonel, twinkling. Very fond of you, Steve? I have the best reasons for knowing that she is. We may conceive Amy's feelings, though we cannot see her. On my soul, Colonel, I think it is the most romantic affair I ever heard
Starting point is 01:25:35 of. I have waited long for a romance to come into my life, but by Javers, it has come at last. It has Great as Steve. Does her family like it? No, they are furious. But why? Steve, judiciously. A woman's secret, Colonel? Ah, the plot thickens. Do I know her? Not you.
Starting point is 01:26:00 I mustn't ask her name. Steve, with presence of mind, I have a very good reason for not telling you her name. So, and she's not exactly young? "'Twice your age, Steve?' "'Steve, with excusable heat. "'Not at all, but she is of the age when a woman knows her own mind, "'which makes the whole affair extraordinarily flattering.'
Starting point is 01:26:25 "'With undoubtedly a shudder of disgust, Amy closes the covered door. "'Stee continues to behave in the most gallant manner. "'You must not quiz me, Colonel, for her circumstances are such "'that her partiality for me puts her in a dangerous position, and I would go to the stake rather than give her away. Quite, sir. He makes obeisance to the beauty of the sentiment, and then proceeds to an examination of the hearth-rug.
Starting point is 01:26:51 What are you doing? Try to find out for myself whether she comes here. How can you find that out by crawling about my carpet? I am looking for hairpins. Triumphantly holding up a lady's glove. And I have found one. They have been too engrossed to hear the bell ring, but now voices are audible.
Starting point is 01:27:12 There is someone coming up. Perhaps it is she, Steve. No, that is Alice's voice. Catch, you scoundrel. And he tosses him the glove. Alice is shown in and is warmly acclaimed. She would not feel so much at ease if she knew who, hand on heart, has recognized her through the pantry keyhole.
Starting point is 01:27:35 Steve, as he makes Alice comfortable by the fire, How did you leave them at home? Alice, relapsing into gloom. All hating me. This man says that home is the most delightful club in the world. I am not a member. I have been blackballed by my own baby. Robert, I dined in state with Cosmo,
Starting point is 01:28:00 and he was so sulky that he ate his fish without salt rather than ask me to pass it. Where was Amy? Amy said she had a headache and went to bed. I spoke to her through the door before I came out, but she wouldn't answer. Why didn't you go in, Memsob? I did venture to think of it, but she had locked the door. Robert, I really am worried about Amy. She seems to me to behave oddly.
Starting point is 01:28:34 There can't be anything wrong? Of course not Alice, eh, Steve? Bless you, no. Alice, smiling. It's much Steve knows about women. I'm not so unattractive to women, Alice, as you think. Listen to him, Robert. What he means, my dear, is that you should see him with elderly ladies.
Starting point is 01:28:58 Steve, list of people who know you. Here, something happens to Amy's skirt. She has opened the door to hear. here, then an alarm shut it, leaving a fragment of skirt caught in the door. There, unseen, it bides its time. "'Don't be so sure that you know me, Alice.' "'Colonel, enjoying himself.' "'Let us tell her, Steve, I am dying to tell her.'
Starting point is 01:29:24 "'Steve, grandly. "'No, no.' "'We mustn't tell you, Alice, because it is a woman's secret, "'a poor, little fond, elderly woman. "'Our friend is very proud of his conquest. see how he is ruffling his feathers. I shouldn't wonder, you know, though you and I are in the way tonight. But Alice's attention is directed in another direction, to a little white object struggling in the clutches of a closed door at the back of the room. Steve turns to see what she
Starting point is 01:29:54 is looking at, and at the same moment the door opens efficiently to allow a pretty hand to obtrude, seize the kitten, or whatever it was, and softly reclosed the door. For one second, Alice did think might be a kitten, but she knows now that it is part of a woman's dress. As for Steve, thus suddenly acquainted with his secret visitor's whereabouts, his mouth opens wider than the door. He appeals mutely to Alice not to betray his strange secret to the colonel. Alice, with dancing eyes, May I look about me, Steve? I have been neglecting your room shamefully. Steve, alarmed, or he knows the woman. Don't get up, Alice. There is really nothing to see.
Starting point is 01:30:37 But she is already making the journey of the room and drawing nearer to the door. Alice, playing with him. I like your clock. It is my landladies. Nearly all the things are hers. Do come back to the fire. Don't mind me. What does this door lead into?
Starting point is 01:30:58 Only a cupboard. What do you keep in it? Merely crockery, that sort of thing. I should like to. see your crockery, Steve. Not one little bit of China? May I peep in? Colonel, who was placidly smoking, with his back to the scene of the drama, "'Don't mind her, Steve. She never could see a door without itching to open it.' Alice opens the door, and sees Amy standing there with her finger to her lips, just as they stood in all the five plays. Genefra could not have posed her better.
Starting point is 01:31:32 "'Well, have you found anything, Memsaab?' it has been the great shock of alice's life and she sways but she shuts the door before answering him alice with a terrible look at steve just the dark little cupboard steve not aware that it is her daughter who is in there wonders why the lighter aspect of the incident has ceased so suddenly to strike her she returns to the fire but not to her chair she puts her arms round the neck of her husband a great grief for him is welling up in her her breast. Colonel, so long used to her dear impulsive ways. Hello, we mustn't let on that we are fond of each other before company. Steve, meaning well, though he had better had held his tongue. I don't count. I'm such an old friend. Alice, slowly.
Starting point is 01:32:24 Such an old friend. Her husband sees that she is struggling with some emotion. Worrying about the children still, Alice. Alice, glad to you. to break down openly. Yes, yes, I can't help it, Robert. Colonel, petting her. There, there, you foolish woman, joy will come in the morning.
Starting point is 01:32:45 I never was sure of anything. Would you like me to take you home now? Home. But yes, I... Let us go home. Can we have a cab, Steve? I'll go down and whistle one. Alice, I'm awfully sorry that you...
Starting point is 01:33:00 That I... Please, a cab. But those... she is alone with her husband, now she does not know what she wants to say to him. She has a passionate desire that he should not learn who is behind that door. Colonel, pulling her toward him, I think it is about Amy that you worry most. Why should I, Robert?
Starting point is 01:33:22 Not a jot of reason. Say again, Robert, that everything is sure to come right just as we planned it would. Of course it will. Robert, there is something I want to say. you. You know how dear my children are to me, but Amy is the dearest of all. She is dearer to me, Robert, than you yourself. Very well, Mem, sob. Robert, dear, Amy has come to a time in her life when she is neither quite a girl nor quite a woman. There are dark places before us at that age through which we have to pick our way without much help.
Starting point is 01:34:04 I can conceive dead mothers haunting those places to watch how their child is to fare in them. Very frightened ghost, Robert. I have thought so long of how I was to be with an hail of my girl at this time, holding her hand. My Amy, my child. That is just how it is all to turn out, my Alice.
Starting point is 01:34:30 Alice, shivering. Yes, isn't it? Isn't it? You dear, excitable. Of course it is. Alice, like one defying him. But even though it were not, though I had come back too late, though my daughter had become a woman without a mother's guidance, though she were a bad woman. Alice?
Starting point is 01:34:54 Though some cur of a man. Robert, it wouldn't affect my love for her. I should love her more than ever. If all others turn from her, if you turn from her, Robert, how I should love her then. Alice, don't talk of such things. But she continues to talk of them,
Starting point is 01:35:15 for she sees that the door is ajar, and what she says now is really to comfort Amy. Every word of it is a kiss for Amy. Alice, smiling through her fears, I was only telling you that nothing can make any time, difference in my love for Amy. That was all. And of course, if she has ever been a little foolish, light-headed, at that age one often is. Why? A mother would soon put all that right. She would just
Starting point is 01:35:45 take her girl in her arms, and they would talk it over, and the poor child's troubles would vanish. Still for Amy's comfort. And do you think I should repeat any of Amy's confidences to you, Robert? Not a word, sir. She might be sure of that. A pretty way to treat her father, but you will never persuade me that there is any serious flaw in Amy. I'll never try, dear. As for this little tantrum of locking herself into her room, however, we must have it out with her. The first thing tomorrow. Not a bit of it. The first thing, the moment we get home. Alice, now up against the new danger.
Starting point is 01:36:28 You forget, dear, that she has gone to bed. We'll soon rout her out of bed. Robert, you forget that she is locked a door. Sulky little darling. I dare she is crying her eyes out for you already, but if it doesn't open that door pretty smartly, I'll force it. You wouldn't do that? Wouldn't I? Oh, yes, I would.
Starting point is 01:36:53 Thus Alice has another problem to meet when Steve returns from his successful quest for a cab. Thank you, Steve. You will excuse us running off, I know. Alice is all nerves tonight. Come along, dear.
Starting point is 01:37:07 Alice, signing to the puzzled Steve that he must somehow get the lady out of the house at once. There's no such dreadful hurry, is there? She is suddenly interested in some photographs on the wall. Are you in this group, Steve? Yes, it is an old school eleven.
Starting point is 01:37:25 Let us see if we can pick Steve out, Robert? Here he is, the one with the ball. Oh, no. That can't be Steve, surely. Isn't this one more like him? Come over here under the light. Steve has his moment at the door, but it is evident from his face
Starting point is 01:37:45 that the hidden one scorns his blandishments. So he signs to Elles. This is you, isn't it, Steve? Yes, the one with the bowl. I've found you at once. Now. Alice, your cloak. I feel so comfy where I am. One does hate to leave a fire, doesn't one.
Starting point is 01:38:05 She hums gaily a snatch of a song. The woman doesn't know her own mind. You remember. We danced to that once on my birthday at Simla. She shows him how they danced at Simla. Colonel, to Steve, who is indeed the more bewildered of the two. And a few minutes ago I assure you she was weeping on my shoulder. You were so nice to me that evening, Robert.
Starting point is 01:38:30 I gave you a dance. She whirls him gaily round. You flibbitty jibbet, you make me dizzy. Shall we sit out the rest of the dance? Not I. Come along, you unreasonable thing. Unreasonable? Robert, I have a reason. I want to see whether Amy will come.
Starting point is 01:38:51 Come? Come here? I didn't tell you before, Robert, because I had so little hope. But I called to her through the door that I was coming here to meet you and I said, I don't believe you have a headache, Amy.
Starting point is 01:39:07 I believe you have locked yourself in there because you hate the poor mother who loves you and I begged her to come with me. I said, if you won't come now, come after me and make me happy. But what an odd message, Alice, so unlike you. Was it? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:39:25 I always find it so hard, Robert, to be like myself. But, my dear, a young girl. She could have taken a cab. I gave her the address. Don't be so hard, Robert. I'm teaching you to dance. She is off with him again. Steve, the madcap. He falls into a chair, but sees the room still going round. It is Alice's chance. She pounces upon Amy's.
Starting point is 01:39:55 hand, whirls her out of the hiding place, and seems to greet her at the other door. Amy! Colonel, jumping up. Not really. Hello. I never for a moment. It was true then. Amy, you are a good little girl to come. Amy, to whom this is a not-unexpected step in the game. Dear father. Steve, to whom it is a very unexpected step indeed.
Starting point is 01:40:19 Amy, is this your daughter, Alice? Alice, wondering at the perfidy of the crew. I forgot that you don't know her, Steve. But if... If this is your daughter, you are the mother. The mother? Well, thought out, Steve. He is a mastermind, Alice. But...
Starting point is 01:40:41 But... Mercifully, Amy has not lost her head. She is here to save them all. Introduce me, father. He is a standard at our having such a big girl. Steve, thankfully... Yes, that's it. Amy, my old friend Steve Rolo, Steve, this is our rosebud.
Starting point is 01:41:02 Steve, blinking. How do you do? How do you do? But bless me, Amy, you are a swell. Amy, blushing. It is only evening dress. I bet she didn't dress for us, Alice. It's all done for Steve. Yes, for Steve.
Starting point is 01:41:20 But don't hang in me, chicken. Hang in your mother. Steve, why are you staring at Alice? We know why he is staring at Alice, but of course he is too gallant a gentleman to tell. Besides, his astonishment has dazed him. What's I? Alice, with her arms extended. Amy, don't be afraid of me. Amy, going into them contemptuously.
Starting point is 01:41:44 I'm not. Colonel, badgered. Then kiss and make it up. Amy bestows a cold kiss upon her mother. Alice weeps. This is. Too much. Just wait till I get you home. Are you both ready? It is then that Amy makes her first mistake.
Starting point is 01:42:05 The glove that the Colonel has tossed to Steve is lying on a chair, and she innocently begins to put it on. Her father stares at her. His wife does not know why. We are ready, Robert. Why don't you come? Robert, what is it? Colonel, darkening. Steve knows what it is. Amy doesn't as yet. The simple soul has given herself away so innocently that it's almost a shame to take notice of it. But I must, Steve. Come, man. It can't be difficult to explain. In this, Steve evidently differs from him. Robert, you frighten me.
Starting point is 01:42:44 Still tongue-tied, Steve? Before you came here, Alice, I found a lady's glove on the floor. That isn't our affair, Robert. Yes. I'll tell you why. Amy has just put on that glove. It isn't hers, dear. Do you deny that it is yours, Amy? Amy has no answer to this. Is it unreasonable, Steve, to ask you when my daughter,
Starting point is 01:43:08 with whom you profess to be unacquainted, gave you that token of her esteem? Steve, helpless. Alice? What has Alice to do with it? Amy, to the rescue. Nothing, nothing, I swear. Has there been something going to be?
Starting point is 01:43:25 on that I don't understand. Are you in it, Alice, as well as they? Why has Steve been staring at you so? Amy, knowing so well that she alone can put this matter right. Mother, don't answer. If I could see Alice alone for a moment, Colonel? Yes. No. Good heavens. What are you all concealing? Is Amy, my Amy, your elderly lady, Steve? Was that some tasteful little joke you were playing on your old friend, her father? Colonel, I... Amy, preparing for the great sacrifice. I forbid him to speak.
Starting point is 01:44:01 You forbid him? Robert, Robert, let me explain. Stephen... Mother, you must not. You dare not. Grandly. Let all fall on me. It is not true, father, that Mr. Rolo and I were strangers when you introduced us. Amy, Amy!
Starting point is 01:44:22 Amy, with a touch of the sublime. It is my glove, but it had a right to be here. He is my affiant husband. Perhaps, but it is an open question. Steve is the one who is most surprised to hear this. He seems to want to say something on the subject, but a look of entreaty from Alice silences him. Alice, did you hear her? Surely you don't mean, Robert, that you are not glad. Colonel, incredulous. Is that how you take it?
Starting point is 01:44:53 How I take it! I am overjoyed! Don't you see how splendid it is? Our old friend Steve? Colonel, glaring at him. Our old friend Steve! As for Amy, that pale-faced Lily, for the moment she stands disregarded. Never mind. Genephyra will yet do her justice. Oh, happy day! Brazenly, she takes Steve's two hands. "'He is to be our son.'
Starting point is 01:45:26 "'You are very clever, Alice, "'but do you really think that I believe "'that this is no shock to you... "'Oh, woman, why has this deception "'not struck you to the ground?' "'Deception? "'Amy, Steve, I do believe he thinks "'that this is as much a surprise to me
Starting point is 01:45:44 "'as it is to him. "'Why, Robert, I have known about it "'ever since I saw Amy alone this afternoon. "'She told me at once. Then in came Steve and he Is it as bad as that? As what, dear? That my wife must lie to me.
Starting point is 01:46:02 Oh, Robert. I am groping only, but I can see now that you felt that there was something wrong from the first. How did you find out? Robert, they are engaged to be married. It was foolish of them not to tell you. But, oh, my dear, leave it at that. Why did you ask Amy to follow us here?
Starting point is 01:46:25 So that we could all be together when we broke it to you, dear. Another lie. My shoulders are broad. Why shouldn't I have it to bear as well as you? There's nothing to bear but just a little folly. Folly, and neither are them able to say a word. Indeed they are very cold lovers. Amy's lip is curled at Steve. To make matters worse,
Starting point is 01:46:52 the cupboard door, which has so far had the decency to remain quiet, now presumes to have it say, it opens of itself a few inches, creaking guiltily. Three people are so startled that a new suspicion is aroused in the fourth. Alice, who can read his face so well, She wasn't there, Robert, she wasn't. My God, I understand it now. She didn't follow us. She hid there when I came. No, Robert, no. He goes into the cupboard and returns with something in his hand, which he gives to Amy. Your other glove, Amy.
Starting point is 01:47:32 I can't keep it from you any longer, Robert. I have done my best. She goes to Amy to protect her. But Amy is still my child. What a deceiver, Amy is thinking. Well, sir, still waiting at that interview with my wife before you can say anything? Steve, a desperate fellow. Yes. You will have every opportunity of explaining Steve, many opportunities.
Starting point is 01:48:00 But in the meantime, just now, please go, leave us alone. Stamping her foot. Go, please. Steve has had such an evening of it that he clings dizzily to the one amazing explanation, that Alice loves him not wisely but too well. "'Never will he betray her, never.' "'Steve, with a meaning that is lost on her, "'but is very evident to the other lady present.'
Starting point is 01:48:28 "'Anything you ask me to do, Alice, anything. "'I shall go upstairs only, so that if you want me—' "'Ah, go!' "'He goes, wondering whether he is a villain or a hero, "'which is perhaps a pleasurable state of mind. "'You are wondrous lenient to him. "'I shall have more to say. As for this girl, look at her standing there.
Starting point is 01:48:50 She seems rather proud of herself. It isn't really hardness, Robert. It is because she thinks that you are hard. Robert, dear, I want you to go away too, and leave Amy to me. Go home, Robert. We shall follow soon. Colonel, after a long pause, If you wish it.
Starting point is 01:49:13 Leave her to her mother. When he has gone, Amy leans across the top of it, share, sobbing her little heart away. Alice tries to take her, the whole of her, in her arms, but is rebuffed with a shudder. I wonder you can touch me. The more you ask of your mother, the more she has to give. It is my love you need, Amy, and you can draw upon it, and draw upon it. Pray, excuse me.
Starting point is 01:49:44 How can you be so hard? My child, I'm not saying. one harsh word to you. I am asking you only to hide your head upon your mother's breast. I decline. Take care, Amy, or I shall begin to believe that your father was right. What do you think would happen if I were to leave you to him? Poor father. Poor indeed with such a daughter. He has gone, mother. So do you really think you need to keep up this pretense before me? Amy, what you need is a whipping. You want to know what I need.
Starting point is 01:50:26 The agonized mother again tries to envelop her unnatural child. Amy, Amy, it was all Steve's fault. Amy, struggling as with a boa constrictor. You needn't expect me to believe that. No doubt you thought of the beginning that he was a gallant gentleman. Not at all. I knew he was depraved from the moment I set up. on him.
Starting point is 01:50:50 My Amy, then how? How? Genevra knew it too. She knew. We planned it together, to treat him in the same way as Sir Harry Pascal and Ralph Devereaux. Amy, you are not in your senses. You don't mean that there were others.
Starting point is 01:51:10 There was major, major, I forgot his name, but he was another. Alice, shaking her. Wretched girl. Leave, go. How did you get to know them? To know them? They are characters and plays. Alice bereft.
Starting point is 01:51:30 Characters in plays? Plays? We went to five last week. Wild hopes spring up in Alice's breast. Amy, tell me quickly. When did you see Steve for the first time? When you were saying goodbye to? to him this afternoon.
Starting point is 01:51:50 Can it be true? Perhaps we shouldn't have listened, but they always listen when there is a screen. Listened? What did you hear? Everything, Mother. We saw him kiss you and heard you make an assignation
Starting point is 01:52:05 to meet him here. I shall whip you directly, but go on, darling. You shan't whip me. Then, once more heroic, as in a flash, Genevra and I saw that there was only one way to save you. I must go to his chambers and force him to return the letters.
Starting point is 01:52:25 My letters? Of course. He behaved at first as they all do, pretended that he did not know what I was talking about. At that moment, a visitor. I knew at once that it must be the husband. It always is. It was. I hid. Again, a visitor. I knew it must be you. It was. Oh, the agony to me and there. I was wondering when he would begin to suspect, for I knew the time would come, and I stood ready to emerge and sacrifice myself to save you. As you've done, Amy? As I have done. Once more the arms go round her. I want none of that. Forgive me. A thought comes to Alice that enthralls her. Steve, does he know what you think about me?
Starting point is 01:53:18 I had to be open with him And Steve believes it He thinks that I I? Hell is grey Oh ecstasy You need not pretend What is to be done Though I abhor him
Starting point is 01:53:36 I must marry him for I Genevra is to be my only bridesmaid We are both to wear black You are sure you don't rather like him Amy Mother. Amy, weren't you terrified to come alone to the rooms of a man? You didn't even know? Some men.
Starting point is 01:53:59 I was not afraid. I am a soldier's daughter, and Geneva gave me this. She produces a tiny dagger. This is altogether too much for Alice. My darling. She does have the babe in her arms at last, and now Amy clings to her. This is very sweet to Alice, but she knows that if she tells Amy the truth at once, its first effect will be to make the dear one feel ridiculous.
Starting point is 01:54:26 How can Alice hurt her Amy so, Amy, who has such pride in having saved her? You do love me a little, Amy, don't you? Yes, yes. You don't think I have been really bad, dear? Oh, no, only foolish. Thank you, Amy. Amy, nestling still closer. What are we to do now, dear, dear mother?
Starting point is 01:54:53 Alice has a happy idea, but that, as the novelist say, deserves a chapter to itself. End of Act 2. Act 3 of Alice Sit by the Fire, by J.M. Barry. This is a Liebervox recording. All Liebervox recordings are in the public domain. For more information, or to volunteer, please visit Librebox.org.
Starting point is 01:55:29 Act 3 We are back in the room of the diary. The diary itself is not visible. It is tucked away in the drawer, taking a nap while it may, or it has much to chronicle before cock-crow. Cosmo also is asleep, on an ingenious arrangement of chairs.
Starting point is 01:55:49 Genevavera is sitting bolt upright, a book on her knee. but she is not reading it. She is seeing visions in which Amy plays a desperate part. The hour is late. Everyone ought to be in bed. Cosmo is perhaps dreaming that he is back at Osborne, or he calls out as if an answer to a summons
Starting point is 01:56:09 that he is up and nearly dressed. He then raises his head and surveys Genevra. Hello, you've been asleep. How like a man! I say, I thought you were the one who had stretched herself out and that I was sitting here very quiet, so as not to awaken you. Let us leave it at that. Huffy, aren't you? Have they not come back yet? Not they, and half-past eleven has struck. I oughtn't to stay any longer. As it is, I don't know what my landlady will say.
Starting point is 01:56:47 She means that she does know. I'll see you to your place whenever you like. My uniform will make it all right for you. You child, but I simply can't go till I know what has happened. Where, oh, where can they be? That's all right. Father told you he had a message from Mother saying that they had gone to the theatre. But why?
Starting point is 01:57:10 Yes, it seemed to bother him, too. The theatre. That is what she said. Here Cosmo takes up a commanding position on a hearth-rug. It could not be bettered unless with a cigar in the mouth. Look here, Miss Dunbar. It may be that I have a little crow to pick with Mother when she comes back, but I cannot allow anyone else to say a word against her. Comprone?
Starting point is 01:57:37 Geneva's reply is lost to the world, because at this moment Amy's sparkling eyes show round the door. How softly she must have crossed the little hall. Amy, at last! Shh! She speaks to one unseen. There are only Genevra and Cosmo here. Thus encouraged, Alice enters.
Starting point is 01:57:59 Despite her demeanor, they would see, if they knew her better, that she has been having a good time, and is in hopes that it is not ended yet. She comes in, as it were, under Amy's guidance. Genevra is introduced, and Alice then looks to Amy for instructions what to do next. Amy, encouragingly, Sit down, mother. Where shall I sit, dear?
Starting point is 01:58:24 Amy gives her the nicest chair in the room. Thank you, Amy. She is emboldened to address her son. Where is your father, Cosmo? Cosmo remembers his slap, and that he has sworn to converse with her no more. He indicates, however, that his father is in the room overhead. Alice meekly accepts the rebuff.
Starting point is 01:58:47 Shall I go to him, Amy? Amy, considerately. If you think you feel strong enough, mother. You have given me strength. I am so glad. She strokes her mother soothingly. What will you tell him? All, Amy.
Starting point is 01:59:05 All? All. Brave, mother. Who could not be brave with such a daughter? On reflection. And such a son. Helped by encouraging words from Amy, she to parse on her perilous enterprise. The two conspirators would now give a handsome competence to Cosmo to get him out of the room.
Starting point is 01:59:28 He knows it and sits down. I say, what is she going to tell father? Amy, with a despairing glance at Geneva. Oh, nothing. Genevaver, with a clever glance at Amy. Cosmo, you promised to see me home. Cosmo, the polite Righto.
Starting point is 01:59:49 But you haven't got your boots on. I won't be a minute. He pauses at the door. I say, I believe you're trying to get rid of me. Look here. I won't budge till you tell me what mother is speaking about to father. It is about the drawing-room curtains. Good Lord.
Starting point is 02:00:12 As soon as he has gone, they rushed each other. They don't embrace. They stop when their noses are an inch apart and then talk. This is the stageway for lovers. It is difficult to accomplish without rubbing noses, but they have both been practicing. Quick, Amy, did you get the letters? There are no letters. She never is so taken aback that her nose bobs. Otherwise, the two are absolutely motionless. She cleverly recovers herself. No letters. How unlike life.
Starting point is 02:00:45 You are quite sure? I have my mother's word for it. Is that enough? And you now have mine. Then it hadn't gone far. No, merely a painful indiscretion. But if father had known it, you know what husbands are. Yes, indeed. Did he follow her?
Starting point is 02:01:06 Amy nods. Did you hide? Amy nods again. Worse than that, Genevra. To deceive him, I had to pretend. that I was the woman. And now, Ginevra, can you guess? Here they have to leave off doing noses. On the stage, it can be done for ever so much longer, but only by those who are paid accordingly.
Starting point is 02:01:28 You don't mean... I think I do. But what do you mean? I mean, the great thing. Then it is yes. Ginevra, I am affiance to the man, Steve. Geneva could here quickly drink a glass of water if there was one of the room. Geneva, wandering round to her old friend. You seem the same, Amy, yet somehow different. Amy, rather complacently.
Starting point is 02:01:56 That is just how I feel. But I must not think of myself. They are overhead, Geneva. There is an awful scene taking place up there. She is telling father all. Confessing? Everything, in a noble attempt to save me from a widowed marriage. But I thought she was such a hard woman.
Starting point is 02:02:17 Not really. To the world, perhaps. But I have softened her. All she needed Geneva to bring out her finer qualities was a strong nature to lean upon. And she says that she has found it in me. At the theater and all the way home. Then you did go to the theater. Why? Amy, feeling that Geneva is very young. Need you ask? Oh, Genevra, to see if we would find a happy ending. It was Mother's idea. Which theater? I don't know, but the airing wife confessed all, in one of those Mussolines desois that are so fashionable this year. And Mother and I sat, clasping each other's hands, praying it might end happily, though we didn't see how it could. How awful for you! What did the husband do? He was very calm and white. He went out of the room for a moment and came back so white.
Starting point is 02:03:16 Then he sat down by the fire and nodded his head three times. I think I know now which theater it was. He asked her coldly, but always the perfect gentleman. Oh, that theater! He asked her whether he was to go or she. They must part? Yes. She went on her knees to him and said,
Starting point is 02:03:39 Are we never to meet again? And he replied huskily, never. Then she turned and went slowly towards the door. Ginevra, clutching her. Amy, was that the end? The audience sat still as death, listening for the awful click that brings the curtain down. Ginevra, shivering.
Starting point is 02:04:02 I seem to hear it. At that moment. Yes, yes? The door opened. And Genevra, their little child came in in her nightgown. Quick! She came trotting down the stairs. She was barefooted.
Starting point is 02:04:19 She took in the whole situation at a glance. And running to her father, she said, Daddy, if mother goes away, what is to become of me? Amy Galtzes and continues. And then she took a hand of each and drew them together till they fell on each other's breast. And then, oh, Genevra, Then, click, and the curtain fell.
Starting point is 02:04:44 Ginevra, when they were more composed. How old was the child? Five, she looked more. Ginevra, her brows knitted. Molly is under two, isn't she? She is not quite twenty months. She couldn't possibly do it. No, I thought of that.
Starting point is 02:05:03 But she couldn't, you know, even though she was held up. Mother couldn't help thinking the scene was a good omen, though. They both look at the ceiling again. Hell still they are. Perhaps she hasn't had the courage to tell. If so, I must go on with it. Geneva, feeling rather small beside Amy. Marry him?
Starting point is 02:05:28 Yes, I must dream, I weird. Is it Dree your weird, or Weird your Dree? I think they both do. She does not really care. Nobler thoughts are surging within her. Amy, why can't I make some sacrifice as well as you? Amy seems about to make a somewhat grudging reply, but the unexpected arrival of the man who was so strangely won her seals her lips.
Starting point is 02:05:55 You? With a depth of meaning. Oh, sir. Steve, the most nervous of the company. I felt I must come in. Miss Grey, I'm in the greatest of did. as the unhappy cause of all this trouble. You should have thought of that before.
Starting point is 02:06:13 It was dense of me not to understand sooner. Very dense. He looks at her with wistful eyes. Must I marry you, Miss Gray? Amy, curling her lip. Ah, that is what you are sorry for. Yes, horribly sorry. Not for myself.
Starting point is 02:06:32 To tell you the truth, I'd be precious glad to risk it. I think. Amy, with a glance at Geneva. You would? But very sorry for you. It seems such a shame to you, so young and attractive, and the little you know of me, so unfortunate. You mean you could never love me.
Starting point is 02:06:55 I don't mean that at all. Geneva? Indeed, Geneva feels that she has been obliterated quite long enough. Amy, introduce me. Mr. Stephen Rollo, Miss Dunbar. Miss Dunbar knows all. Geneva makes a movement that the cynical might describe as brushing Amy aside.
Starting point is 02:07:16 May I ask, Mr. Rollo, what are your views about woman? Really, I... Is she, in your opinion, her husband's equal, or is she his chattel? Honestly, I'm so beside myself. You evade the question. He means chattel, Genevra. Mr. Rol, Rennver. I am the friend till death of Amy Gray. Let that poor child go, sir, and I am prepared to take
Starting point is 02:07:43 her place beside you. Yes, at the altar's mouth. Ginevra. Genevra, making that movement again. Understand I can neither love nor honor you, at least at first, but I will obey you. Genevra, you take too much upon yourself. I will make a sacrifice. I will. You shall not. I feel that I understand this gentleman.
Starting point is 02:08:07 as no other woman can. It is my mission, Amy. The return of Alice is what prevents Steve seizing his hat and flying. It might not have had this effect had he seen the lady's face just before she opened the door. Alice, putting her hand to her poor heart, You have come here, Steve? Oh no, it is not possible. Steve, looking things unutterable, How could I help coming? Amy, to the rescue.
Starting point is 02:08:37 Mother, have you? Did you? I have told him all. The Colonel? Alice bows her bruised head. Amy, conducting her to a seat. Brave, brave. What has he decided? He hasn't decided yet. He's thinking out what it will be best to do. He knows? Then I am no longer. His unfinished sentence seems to refer to
Starting point is 02:09:07 Amy. Yes, sir. As he knows, you are, as far as I am concerned, now free. It's almost a pity. She turns to her Amy. At least, Amy, this makes you and me friends again. We have never quite been able to understand what this meant, but Amy knows, for she puts Jennifer's hand to her sweet lips. Alice, who somehow could do without Jennifer tonight. Cosmo is waiting for you, Miss Dunbar. to see you home. Ginevra, with the disquieting vision of her landlady, I must go.
Starting point is 02:09:44 She gives her hand in the coldest way to Mrs. Gray. Then, with a curtsy to Steve that he can surely never forget, Mr. Rallo, I am sure there is much good in you. Darling, Amy, I shall be round first thing in the morning. Now that she has gone, can we have a talk? Alice, looking down. Yes, Steve. Mother, what was that you called him?
Starting point is 02:10:11 Dear Amy, I forgot. Yes, Mr. Rallo. Then, Alice. This lady's name, if I am not greatly mistaken, is Mrs. Gray. Is it not so, mother? Yes, Amy. As you will, but it is most important that I say certain things to her at once. Oh, Mr. Rolo.
Starting point is 02:10:35 What do you think, dear? Amy, reflecting, If it had been clearly understood that this is goodbye, I consent. Please be as brief as possible. Somehow they think that she is moving to the door, but she crosses only to the other side of the room and sits down with a book.
Starting point is 02:10:55 One of them likes this very much. Steve, who is not the one, But I want to see her alone. Amy, the dearest of little Jane, jailers. That I am afraid I cannot permit. It is not that I have not perfect confidence in you, mother, but you must see I am acting wisely. Yes, Amy. Steve, two is Alice. What has come over you? You don't seem to be the same woman. That is just it. She is not. I see now only through Amy's eyes. They will not fail you, mother. Proceed, sir.
Starting point is 02:11:35 Steve has to make the best of it. You told him, then, about your feelings for me? Alice, studying the carpet. He knows now exactly what are my feelings for you. How did he take it? Need you ask? Poor old boy, I suppose he wishes me to stay away from your house now. Is it unreasonable?
Starting point is 02:12:02 No, of course not, but... Will it be... terribly hard to you, Mr. Rullo? It isn't that. You see, I'm fond of the Colonel. I really am, and it hurts me to think he thinks that I... It wasn't my fault, was it? Ungenerous. He quite understands that it was I who lost my head. Steve is much moved by the generosity of this. He lowers his voice.
Starting point is 02:12:32 Of course I blame myself now, but I assure you honestly. I had no idea of it until tonight. I'd thought you were only my friend. It dazed me, but as I ransacked my mind, many little things came back to me. I remembered what I hadn't noticed at the time. Louder, please. I remembered. Is this necessary?
Starting point is 02:12:57 Please, Amy, let me know what he remembered. I remembered that your voice was softer to me than when you were a different. addressing other men. Let me look long at you, Mr. Rallo. She looks long at him. Mother, enough. What more do you remember? It's strange to me now that I didn't understand your true meaning today
Starting point is 02:13:22 when you said I was the only man you couldn't flirt with. You meant that I aroused deeper feelings. How you know me? Not the best of you, mother. No, not the best, Amy. I can say that I never thought of myself as possessing dangerous qualities. I thought I was utterly unattractive to women. You must have known about your eyes.
Starting point is 02:13:50 My eyes? On my soul, I didn't. Amy wonders if this can be true. Alice rises. She feels that she cannot control herself much longer. Steve, If you don't go away at once, I shall scream. Steve, really unhappy. Is it as bad as that?
Starting point is 02:14:12 Amy, rising. You heard what Mrs. Gray said. This is very painful to her. Will you please say goodbye? In the novel circumstances, he does not quite know how this should be carried out. Alice, also shy. How shall we do it, Amy? On the brow?
Starting point is 02:14:32 No, mother. With the hand. They do it with the hand, and it is thus that the Colonel finds them. He would be unable to keep his countenance were it not for a warning look from Alice. Colonel, one of the men who have a genius for saying the right thing, Ha! I am going, Colonel. I'm very sorry that you... At the same time, I wish you to understand that the fault is entirely mine.
Starting point is 02:15:00 Colonel, guardedly, Amy, putting her arm round her mother who hugs it. Father, he came only to say goodbye. He is not a bad man, and mother has behaved magnificently. Colonel, cleverly. Ah. You must not, you shall not be cruel to her. Darling, Amy.
Starting point is 02:15:24 Colonel, truculently. Oh, mustn't I? We shall see about that. Come, come, Colonel. Colonel, doing better than might have been expected. Hold your tongue, sir. I know mother as no other person can know her. I begin to think that you have no proper appreciation of her father.
Starting point is 02:15:45 Dear, dear Amy. I dare say she has often suffered in the past. Oh, Amy, oh! By your, your callousness, your want of sympathy, your neglect. My beloved child. Alice. Tell her it isn't so. You hear what he says, my pet?
Starting point is 02:16:08 But you don't deny it. Deny it, woman. Robert, Robert. And please not to call my mother woman in my presence. I... I... I... He looks for help from Alice,
Starting point is 02:16:24 but she gives him only a twinkle of triumph. He barks. Child, go to your room. Amy, her worst fears returning. But what are you going to do? That is not your affair. I must say I don't see that. Thank you, Mr. Rollo.
Starting point is 02:16:42 Go to your room. She has to go, but not till she has given her mother a kiss that is a challenge to the world. Then, to the bewilderment of Steve, two human frames are rocked with laughter. Oh, Robert, look at him. He thinks I worship him.
Starting point is 02:17:02 Steve, you colossom. little puppy. A? What? Why? Steve, tell Robert about my boys being softer to you than to other men. Tell him, Steve, about your eyes. The unhappy youth gropes mentally and physically. Good heavens, was there nothing in it? My boy, I'll never let you hear the end of this. But if there's nothing in it, how could your daughter have thought? saw you kiss Alice here this afternoon, you scoundrel, and, as she thought, made an assignation with you. There, it all came out of that. She is a sentimental lady as are, Amy, and she's been too often to the theatre. Let me think. Here is a chair for that very purpose. Now, think
Starting point is 02:17:52 hard. But, but, then why did you pretend before her, Alice? Because she thinks that she has saved me, and it makes her so happy. Amy has a passionate desire to be of some use in this world she knows so well, and she already sees her sphere, Steve. It is to look after me. I am not to be her chaperone. It is she who is to be mine. I have submitted, you see.
Starting point is 02:18:22 Colonel, fidgeting. She seems to have quite given me up for you. Oh, yes, Robert, quite. Steve, gloomily. You will excuse my thinking only of myself. What an ass I've been. Is it a blow, Steve? It's a come down.
Starting point is 02:18:41 Ass, ass, ass. But I say, Alice, I'm awfully glad it's I who have been the ass and not you. I really am, Colonel. You see, the tragedy of my life is I'm such an extraordinarily ordinary sort of fellow that, though every man I know says some lady has loved him, then never in all my unromantic life was a woman who cared a Christmas card for me. It often makes me lonely, and so when I thought that such a glorious woman as you, Alice, I lost touch of earth altogether, but now I've fallen back on it with a whack.
Starting point is 02:19:23 But I'm glad, yes, I'm glad. You two kindest people, Steve Rolo has ever. ever known. Oh, I say good night. I suppose you can't overlook it, Alice. Oh, yes, you goose I can. We are both fond of you, Mr. Rollo. Come in, my boy, and make love to me as often as you feel lonely. I may still come to see you. I say, I'm awfully taken with your Amy. None of that, Steve. We can drop in on you on the fly, Steve.
Starting point is 02:19:59 to admire your orbs, but you mustn't come here, until Amy thinks it is safe for me. When he has gone, she adds, Until I think it is safe for Amy. When will that be? Not for some time. He isn't a bad sort, Steve. Oh, no, she might even do worse someday. But she is to be my little girl for a long time first.
Starting point is 02:20:27 This will give him a sort of glamour to her, you know. You are not really thinking, Robert, that my aim is to fall asleep tonight before she hears the whole true story. Could I sleep until she knows everything? Stupid of me. I am a little like Steve in one way, though. I don't understand why you have kept it up so long. It isn't the first time you have thought me as harem-scarum. It isn't. The sheer fun of it, really.
Starting point is 02:20:57 Robert went to my head, I suppose. And then, you see, the more Amy felt herself to be my protectress, the more she seemed to love me. I'm afraid I have a weakness for the shortcuts to being loved. I'm afraid you have. The one thing you didn't think of is that the more she loves you, the less she seems to have for me. How selfish of you, Robert. Or was that part of the There was no plan. There wasn't time for one. But you were certainly rather horrid, Robert. In the way you gloated over me when you saw them take to you, I've been gloating a little perhaps and taking them from you. Then? You are going a little too fast, my dear. I still have Cosmo and Molly. For the moment.
Starting point is 02:21:51 Woman! Remember, Amy said you must not call me that. He laughs as he takes her by the shoulders. Yes, shake me. I deserve it. You do indeed. And he shakes her with a ferocity that would have startled any sudden visitor. No wonder, then, that it is a shock to Cosmo, who comes blundering in. Alice is the first to see him, and she turns the advantage to one principled account.
Starting point is 02:22:20 Robert, don't hurt me. Oh, if Cosmo were to see you... Cosmo does see him. He says it in a terrible voice. Probably Cosmo has been to a theater or to himself. You hear, Cosmo. She starts back from her assailant. Colonel, feeling a little foolish.
Starting point is 02:22:43 I didn't hear you come in? No, I'm sure you didn't. No heroics, my boy. Take care, father. He stands between them, which makes her father suddenly grin. "'Laugh on, sir. "'I don't know what this rouse about, but—' "'Here his arm encircled an undeserving lady.
Starting point is 02:23:05 "'This lady is my mother, and I won't have her bullied. "'What's a father compared to a mother?' "'Cosmo, darling Cosmo.' "'Colonel, becoming alarmed. "'A boy, it was only a jest. "'Hallis, tell him it was only a jest. "'He says it was only a jest, Colin. You are a trump to shield him, mother.
Starting point is 02:23:30 He kisses her openly, conscious that he is a bit of a trump himself, in which view Alice most obviously concurs. Colonel, to his better half, You serpent. Sir, this language won't do. Colonel, exasperated. You go to bed, too. He has sent Amy to bed already. Try to love your father, Cosmo.
Starting point is 02:23:54 Placing many kisses on the spot where he had been. slapped. Try, for my sake, and try to get Amy and Molly to do it too. Sweetly to her husband. They will love you in time, Robert. At present they can think only of me. Darling, I'll come and see you in bed. I don't like to leave you with him. Go, my own. I promise to call out if I need you. On these terms, Cosmo depart. The long-suffering husband, arms folded, surveys his unworthy spouse. You are a hussy. I suppose I am.
Starting point is 02:24:37 Mind you, I am not going to stand Cosmo's thinking this of me. As if I would allow it for another hour. You won't see much of me to night, Robert. If I sleep at all, it will be in Amy's room. You'll be taking Molly from me tomorrow. I feel hopeful that Molly. too will soon be taking care of me. She goes to him in her conjuring way.
Starting point is 02:25:03 With so many chaperones, Robert, I ought to do well. Oh, my dear, don't think that I have learnt no lesson tonight. Colonel, smiling. Going to reform at last? Alice, the most serious of women. Yes, Robert, the Alice you have known, is come to an end. Tomorrow. If she is different tomorrow, I'll disown her.
Starting point is 02:25:29 It's summer done, autumn begun. Farewell, Summer. We don't know you anymore. My girl and I, like the little figures in the weatherhouse, when Amy comes out, Alice goes in. Alice sit by the fire henceforth. The moon is full tonight, Robert, but it isn't looking for me anymore.
Starting point is 02:25:52 Taxis, farewell. advanced four-wheelers. I had a beautiful husband once. Black as the raven was his hair. Stop it. Pretty, Robert. Farewell. Farewell, Alice, that was. It's all over, my dear. I always had a weakness for you, but now you must really go. Make way there for the old lady. Woman, you'll make me cry. Go to your abie. Robert. Go, go, go. Go! As he roars it, Amy peeps in anxiously.
Starting point is 02:26:29 She is in her nightgown, and her hair is down and her feet are bare, and she does not look so very much more than five. Alice is unable to resist the temptation. Must I go, Robert? Going away. Mother! Father, if mother goes away, what is to become of me? She draws them together until their hands clasp.
Starting point is 02:26:53 There is now a beatific. smile on her face. The curtain sees that its time has come. It clicks and falls. The end. End of Act 3. End of Alice Sit by the Fire. By J. M. Barry.

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