Classic Audiobook Collection - Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis ~ Full Audiobook [drama]

Starting point is 00:00:00 Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. Chapter 1 Part 1 El Murgantry was drunk. He was eloquently drunk, lovingly and pugnaciously drunk. He leaned against the bar of the old home sample room, the most gilden and urbane saloon in Cato, Missouri, and requested the bartender to join him in

Starting point is 00:00:25 the good old summer time, the waltz of the day. blowing on a glass polishing it and glancing at elmer through its flashing rotundity the bartender remarked that he wasn't much of a hand at this hair-sing business But he smiled. No bartender would have done other than smile on Elmer, so inspired and full of gallantry and hell-raising was he, and so dominating with his beefy grin. All right, old socks, agreed Elmer, me and my roommate'll show you some singing as is singing. Meet roommate Jim Leverett's. Best roommate in the world. Wouldn't live with him if he wasn't. Best quarterback in Mill West? Meet roommate. The bartender again met Mr. Leffertz with protestations of distinguished pleasure.

Starting point is 00:01:22 Elmer and Jim Leffertz retired to a table to nourish the long, rich chocolate strain suitable to drunken melody. Actually, they sang very well. Jim had a resolute tenor, and as to Elmer Gantry, even more than his book, his thick black hair. air, his venturesome black eyes. You remembered that rousing berry tone? He was born to be a senator. He never said anything important, and he always said it sonorously. He could make good morning, same profound as Kant, welcoming as a brass band and uplifting as a cathedral organ. It was a cello, his voice, and in the enchantment of it, you did not hear his slang, his boasting, his smut and the dreadful violence which, at this period, he performed on singular's and pearls.

Starting point is 00:02:18 Luxuriously as a wayfarer, drinking cool beer, they caressed the phrases in linked sweetness long-drawn out. Strolling through the shady lane with your baby mine, you hold her hand and she holds yours, and that's a very good sign, that she's your tooth. "'Woo-se-wootsie in the good old summertime.' Elmer wept and blubbered. "'Let's go out and start a scrap. "'You've a little squirt, Jim. "'You get somebody to pick on you,

Starting point is 00:02:51 "'and I'll come along and knock his block off.' "'I'll show him,' his voice flared up. "'He was furious at the wrong about to be suffered. "'He arched his paws with a longing to grasp the non-existent scoundrel. "'By God, I'll knock the tar out of him.' Nobody can touch my roommate. Know who I am? Elmer Gantry.

Starting point is 00:03:14 That's for me. I'll show him. The bartender was shuffling toward them, amiably ready for homicide. Shut up, Hellcat. What you need is another drink. I'll get another drink, Suez Jim,

Starting point is 00:03:29 and Omer slid into tears, weeping over the ancient, tragic sorrows of one who he remembered as Jim Lephyrits. instantly, by some tricky sort of magic, there were two glasses in front of him. He tasted one, and murmured foolishly, excuse me, it was the chaser, the water. But they couldn't fool him, the whiskey would certainly be in that other Lil sawed-off glass. And it was.

Starting point is 00:03:58 He was right, as always. With a smirk of admiration, he sucked in the raw bourbon. It tickled his throat and made him feel powerful. and to peace with everyone save that fellow, he could not recall who, but it was someone who he would shortly chastised, and after that float into an elizium of benevolence. The bar-room was deliciously calming. The sour, invigorating stench of beer made him feel healthy. The bar was one long shimmer of beauty, glowing mahogging, exquisite marble rail, dazzling glasses, curiously shaped bottles of unknown liquors, piled with craftiness which made him very happy.

Starting point is 00:04:43 The light was dim, completely soothing, coming through fantastic windows, such as are found only in churches, saloons, jewelry shops, and other retreats from reality. On the brown plaster walls were sleek, naked girls. He turned from them. He was empty now of desire for women. That damned one, Nita just wants to get all she can out of you, and that's all, he grumbled. But there was an interesting affair beside him. A piece of newspaper sprang up, apparently by itself, and slid along the floor.

Starting point is 00:05:22 That was a very funny incident, and he laughed greatly. He was conscious of a voice which he had been hearing for centuries, echoing from a distant point of light and flashing through ever-widening quarters of a dream. We'll get kicked out of here, Hellcat. Come on. He floated up. It was exquisite. His legs moved by themselves without effort. They did a comic thing once. They got twisted, and the right leg leaped in front of the left, when, so far as he could make out, it should have been behind. He laughed, and rested he in.

Starting point is 00:06:00 someone's arm, an arm with no body attached to it, which had come out of the avicite to assist him. Then unknown, invisible blocks, miles of them, his head clearing, and he gave some announcement to a Jim Leveritz, who suddenly seemed to be with him, I got to lick that fellow. All right, all right, you might as well go and find a nice little fight and get it out of your system. Elmer was astonished. He was grieved. His mouth hung open, and he drooled with sorrow. But still he was to be allowed one charming fight, and he revived as he staggered industriously in search of it. Oh, he exalted. It was a great party. For the first time in weeks, he was relieved from the boredom of Terwilliger College. Part two.

Starting point is 00:06:58 Elmer Gantry, best known to classmates as Hellcat, had this autumn of 1902 been football captain and led the best team to Williger College had known in ten years. They had won the championship of East Middle Kansas Conference, which consisted of ten denominational colleges, all of them with buildings and presidents and chapel services and yells and colors, and a standard of scholarship equal to the best high schools. But since the last night of the football season, with a glorious bonfire in which the young gentleman had burned up nine tar barrels,

Starting point is 00:07:39 the sign of the Jew Taylor and the President's Tabicat, Elmer had been tortured by Borda. He regarded basketball and gymnasium antics as light-minded for a football gladiator. When he had come to college, he had supposed he would pick up learning, of cash value to a lawyer or doctor or insurance man. He had not known which he would become,

Starting point is 00:08:04 and in his senior year, age 22 this November, he was still doubtful. But this belief he found fallacious. What good would be in the courtroom or at the operating table to understand trigonometry, or to know, as last spring up to the examination on European In history, he remembered having known the date of Charlemagne. How much cash would it bring in to quote all that stuff?

Starting point is 00:08:36 What the Dickens was it now? All that rod about the role is too much around us early and soon, from that old fool, Wordsworth. Punk, that's what it was? Better be out in business. But still, if his mother claimed she was doing so well with her mills, business and wanting him to be a college graduate, he'd stick by it, a lot easier than pitching hay or carrying two-by-fours anyway. Despite his invaluable voice, Elmer had not

Starting point is 00:09:11 gone far out for debating, because of the irritating library grinding, nor had he taken to prayer and moral eloquence in the YMCA, for with all the force of his simple and valiant nature, he detested piety and admired brokenness and profanity. Once or twice in the class in public speaking, when he had repeated the splendors of other great thinkers, Donald Webster and Henry Ward Beecher and Chauncey M. DePue, he had known the intoxication of holding an audience with his voice as with his closed hand, holding it, shaking it, lifting it. The debating set urged him to join them,

Starting point is 00:09:59 but they were rabbit-faced and spettled young men, and he viewed as obscene the notion of digging statistics about immigration and products of San Domingo out of dusty-spotted books in the dusty-spotted library. He kept from flunking only because Jim Lefferts drove him to his books. Jim was less bored by college. He had relish for the flavor of scholarship. He liked you know things about people dead these thousand years,

Starting point is 00:10:32 and he liked doing canned miracles in chemistry. Elmer was astounded that so capable a drinker, a man so deft at handing a girl a swell spiel, and getting her going, should find entertainment in Roman chariots and the un-enterprising amours of sweet peas. But himself, no. Not on your life.

Starting point is 00:10:58 He'd get out and finish law school and never open another book. He had the juries along and hire some old coot to do the briefs. To keep him from absolutely breaking under the burden of hearing the professor's squeak, he did have the joy of loafing with Jim, illegally smoking the while.

Starting point is 00:11:20 He did have researches into the lovability of co-eds, and the baker's daughter he did revere becoming drunk and world-striding, but he could not afford liquor very often, and the co-eds were mostly ugly and earnest. It was lamentable to see this broad young man, who would have been so happy in the prize ring, the fish market or the stock exchange, poking through the cobwebbed corridors of Terwilliger.

Starting point is 00:11:52 Tith Terrilliger College, founded and preserved by the more zealous Baptists, is on the outskirts of Gritsmacher Springs, Kansas. The springs have dried up, and Gritsmockers have gone to Los Angeles to sell bungalows and delicatessen. It huddles on the prairie which is storm-racked in winter, frying and dusty in summer, lovely only in the grass-rustling spring or drowsy autumn. You could not be likely to mistake Terilliger College for an old folks' home,

Starting point is 00:12:28 because on the campus is a large rock painted with class numerals. Most of the faculty are ex-ministers. There is a men's dormitory, but Elmer Gantry and Jim Leffertz live together in the town, A mansion wants the prize of the Gitzmacher's themselves, a square brick bulk with a white cupola. The room was unchanged from the days of the original August Gritsmacher, a room heavy with a vast bed of carved black walnut, thick and perpetually dusty brocade curtains,

Starting point is 00:13:04 and black walnut chairs hung with scarves that dangled gilt balls. The windows were hard to open. there was about the place the anxious propriety and all the dead hopes of a second-hand furniture shop. In this museum Jim had a surprising and vigorous youthfulness. There was a hint of future flabbiness in Elmer's bulk, that there would never be anything flabby about Jim lovers. He was slim, six inches shorter than Elmer, but hard as ivory and as sleek. But he came from a prairie village, Jim had fastidiousness, a natural elegance. All the items of his wardrobe,

Starting point is 00:13:48 the ordinary suit, distinctly glossy at the elbows and the dark brown best suit, were ready-made with faltering buttons and scenes that betrayed rough ends of thread, but on him they were graceful. You felt that he would belong to any set in the world which he sufficiently admired. Those a romantic flair to his up.

Starting point is 00:14:12 turned overcoat-collar, the darned bottoms of his trousers did not suggest poverty, but a careless and amused ease. And his thoroughly commonplace ties hinted of clubs and regiments. His thin face was resolute. You saw only its youthful freshness first, then behind the brightness, a taut determination, and his brown eyes were amiably scornful. Jim Lefferts was Elmer's only friend, the only authentic friend he had ever had. Though Elmer was the athletic idol of the college, though his occult passion, his heavy good looks, caused the college girls to breathe quickly,

Starting point is 00:14:58 though his manly laughter was as fetching as his resonant speech, Elmer was never really light. He was supposed to be the most popular man in college, everyone believed that everyone else adored him, and none of them wanted to be with him. They were all a bit afraid, a bit uncomfortable, and more than a bit resentful. It was not merely that he was a shouter, a pounder on backs, and an overwhelming force, so that there was never any refuge of intimacy with him. It was because he was always demanding, except with him.

Starting point is 00:15:39 his widow mother, whom he vaguely worshipped, and with Jim Leffertz, Elmer assumed that he was the center of the universe, that the rest of the system was valuable only as it afforded him help and pleasure. He wanted everything. His first year, as the only freshman who was playing on the college football team, as a large and smiling man who was expected to become a favorite, he was elected president. In that office he was not much loved.

Starting point is 00:16:12 At class meetings he cut speakers short, gave the floor only to pretty girls, and lads who toady to him, and roared in the midst of the weightiest debates. Oh, come on, cut out this chewing the rag and let's get down to business. He collected the class fund by demanding subscriptions as arbitrary as a Catholic priest, assessing his parishioners for a new church phil never hold any office again not if i can help it muttered one eddie fizzlinger who though he was a meager and rusty-haired youth with procruiting teeth and an easy titter had attained power in the class by always being present at everything and by the piety and impressive intimacy of his prayers at the y m c a him that the manager of the Athletic Association should not be a member of any team. Elmer forced himself into the manager's ship in junior year by threatening not to play football

Starting point is 00:17:18 if he were not elected. He appointed Jim Leffers, chairman of the ticket committee, and between them, by only the very slightest doctrine of the books, they turned $40 to the best of all possible uses. At the beginning of senior year, Elmer announced that he desired to be president again. To elect anyone as class president twice was taboo. The ardent Eddie Fislinger, now president of the YMCA, and ready to bring his rare talents to the Baptist ministry, asserted after an enjoyable private prayer meeting in his room, that he was going to face Elmer and forbid him to run. "'Wawn, you don't dare,' observed a Judas, who three minutes before had been wrestling with God under Eddie's coaching. "'I don't, eh? Watch me. Why, everybody hates him,

Starting point is 00:18:18 the darn hog!' squeaked Eddie. By scurrying behind trees, he managed to come face-to-face with Elmer on the campus. He halted and spoke of football, quantitative chemistry, and the Arkansas, Spinster, who taught German. Elmer grunted. Desperly, his voice still shrill with desire to change the world. Eddie stammered, say, Hellcat, you hadn't thought to run for president again. Nobody's ever been president twice.

Starting point is 00:18:54 Well, somebody's going to be. Oh, gee, Elmer, don't run for it. Oh, come on. Of course all the fellows are crazy. about you, but nobody's ever been president-wise. They'll vote against you. Let me catch him, added. How can you stop it?

Starting point is 00:19:14 Honest, Ellen, Elkett. I'm just speaking for your own good. The voting's secret. You can't tell. Huh. The nominations aren't secret. Now, you go roll your hoops, fizzy, and let all the yellow coyotes

Starting point is 00:19:31 know that anybody, denomulates anybody except Uncle Elcat, who catch it right where the chicken caught the axe. See? And if they tell me they didn't know about this,

Starting point is 00:19:46 you get Mary Hail Columbia who are not telling them. Get me? If there's anything but a unanimous vote, you won't do any praying the rest of the year. Eddie remembered how Elmer and Jim had shown a freshman his place in society by removing all his clothes and leaving him five miles in the

Starting point is 00:20:10 country. Elmer was elected president of the senior class unanimously. He did not know that he was unpopular. He reasoned that men who seemed chilly to him were envious and afraid, and that gave him a feeling of greatness. Thus had happened that he had no friend save Jim Lefferts. Only Jim had enough will to bullying him into obedient admiration. Elmer swallowed ideas,

Starting point is 00:20:41 well, he was a maelstrom of prejudices. But Jim accurately examined every notion that came to him. Jim was selfish enough, but it was with the selfishness of a man who thinks and who is coldly unafraid of any destination to which his thoughts may lead him.

Starting point is 00:21:03 The little man threatened Elmer like a large damp dog, and Elmer licked his shoes and followed. He also knew that Jim, as a quarter, was far more the soul of the team than himself, as tackle and captain. A huge young man, Elmer Gantry, six-foot-one, thick, broad, big-handed, a large face, handsome as a great dain is handsome, and a swirl of black hair worn rather long. His eyes were friendly, his smile was friendly. Oh, he was always friendly enough, but he was merely astonished, when he found that you did not understand his importance and did not want to hand over everything he might desire. He was a baritone solo, turned into portly flesh. He was a gladiator, laughing at the comic distortion of his wounded opponent.

Starting point is 00:22:06 He could not understand men who shrieg from blood, who, like poetry or roses, who did not casually endeavor to seduce every possible seducible girl. In Sonora's arguments with Jim, he asserted that these fellows that study all the time

Starting point is 00:22:26 are just letting on like they're so doggone high and mighty to show off to these doggone profs that haven't got anything that lemonade in their veins. Part four. Chief adornment of their room

Starting point is 00:22:45 was the Eskritoir of the first Ritzmacher, which held their library. Elmer owned two volumes of Conan Doyle, one of E.P. Row, and a priceless copy of Only a Boy. Jim had investigated in an encyclopedia, which explained any known subject in ten lines, in a pick-with papers, and from some unknown source he had obtained a complete Swinburne, into which he was never known to have looked. But his pride was in the possession of Ingersoll's some mistakes of Moses, and pains the age of reason.

Starting point is 00:23:31 For Jim Lefferts was the college free thinker, the only man in Teruliger who doubted that Lot's wife had been changed into salt for once looking back at the town where, among the young married set, she had had so good a time. Who doubted that Methuselah lived to nine hundred and sixty-nine? They whispered of Jim all through the pious dens of Terwilliger. Elmer himself was frightened,

Starting point is 00:24:03 for after giving minutes and minutes of theological profundities, Elmer had concluded that there must be something to all this religious guff. if all these wise old birds believed it, and sometime a fellow had ought to settle down and cut out the hell-raison. Probably Jim would have been kicked out of college by the ministerial professors if he had not had so revered a way of asking questions when they wrestled with his infidelity that they had let go of him in nervous confusion. Even the President, the Reverend Dr. Willoughby Quarles, formerly pastor of the Rock of Ages Baptist Church of Moline, Illinois,

Starting point is 00:24:50 than whom no man had written more about the necessity of baptism by immersion, in fact, in every way a thoroughly than moon figure, even when Dr. Quarles tackled Jim and demanded, are you getting the best out of our instruction, young man? Do you believe with us not only in the plenary inspiration of the Bible, but also in its verbal inspiration, and that it is the only divine rule of faith and practice? Then Jim looked docile and said mildly, Oh, yes, Doctor, there's just one or two little things that have been worrying me, Doctor. I've taken them to the Lord in prayer, but he doesn't seem to, help me much. I'm sure you can. Now, why did Joshua need to have the sun stand still?

Starting point is 00:25:46 Of course, it happened. It says so right in scripture. But why did he need to when the Lord always helped those Jews anyway, and when Joshua could knock down the big walls just by having his people yell and blow trumpets? And if devils cause a lot of the diseases and they had to catch them out, Why isn't that good Baptist doctors today diagnosing devil possession instead of TB and things like that? Do people have devils? Young man, I'll give you an infallible rule. Never question the ways of the Lord. But why don't the doctors talk about having devils now?

Starting point is 00:26:32 I have no time for vain arguments that lead nowhere. if you would think a little less of your wonderful powers of reasoning, if you'd go humbly to God in prayer, and give him a chance you'd understand the true spiritual significance of all these things. But how about where Kane got his wife? Most respectfully, Jim said it, but Dr. Quarles, he had a chin-whisker and a boiled shirt, turned from him and snapped. I have no further time to give you, young man.

Starting point is 00:27:08 I've told you what to do. Good morning. That evening, Mrs. Quarles breathed, Oh, Willoughby, did you tend to that awful senior, that leverets, that's trying to spread out? Did you fire him? No, Blossomed President Quarles. Certainly not.

Starting point is 00:27:28 There was no need. I showed him how to look for spiritual guidance, and, did that freshman come in mow the lawn, the idea of him wanting fifteen cents an hour. Jim was hair hung and breezed shaken over the abyss of hell, and apparently enjoying it very much indeed, while his wickedness fascinated Elmer Gantry and terrified him. Part 5

Starting point is 00:27:57 That November Day of 1902, November of their senior year, year was greasy of sky, and slush-blotted the wooden sidewalks of Grithmacher springs. There is nothing to do in town, and their room was dizzying with the stench of the stove, first lighted now since spring. Jim was studying German, tilted back in an elegant position of ease, with his legs cocked up on the desk tablet of the espritoir. Elmerly across the bed, ascertaining whether the blood would run to his head if he lowered it over the side. It did, always.

Starting point is 00:28:41 Oh, God, let's get out and do something, he groaned. Nothing to do, useless, said Jim. Let's go over to Cato and see the girls and get drunk. As Kansas City was dry, by state prohibition, the nearest haven was at Cato, Missouri, 17 miles away. jim scratched his head with a corner of his book and approved well that's a worthy idea got any money on the twenty-eight where the hell would i get any money before the first hellcat you've got one of the deepest intellects i know you'll be a knockout at the law aside from neither of us having any money and me with a dutch quiz to-morrow it's a great project "'Oh, well,' sighed the ponderous Elmer, feebly as a sick kitten, and lay revolving in the tremendous inquiry.

Starting point is 00:29:42 It was Jim, who saved them from the lard-like weariness into which they were slipping. He had gone back to his book, but he placed it precisely and evenly on the desk and rose. "'I would like to see Nelly,' he sighed. "'Oh, man, I could give her a good time. little devil, darn these coeds here. The few that'll let you love them of, they hang around trying to catch you on the campus

Starting point is 00:30:10 and make you propose to him. Oh gee, and I got to see oneita, groaned Elmer. Hey, cannot talk about him, will you? I've got a palpitating heart right now, just thinking about wanting. Hellcat, I've got it. Go and borrow ten off this new instructor in chemistry and physics.

Starting point is 00:30:32 I've got a dollar sixty-four left, and that'll make it. Oh, but I don't know him. Sure, you poor fish, that's why I suggested him. Do the check-field to come, and I'll get another hour of this Dutch while you're stealing the ten from him. Now, the goobriously, you oughtn't talk like that. Well, if you're as good a thief as I think you are, will catch the 516 to Cato.

Starting point is 00:31:04 They were on the 516 for Cato. The train consisted of a day coach, a combined smoker and baggage car, and a rusty old engine and tender. The train swayed so on the rough tracks as it bumped through the droving night that Elmer and Jim were thrown against each other and gripped the arm of their seat.

Starting point is 00:31:26 The car staggered like a freighter in a gale, and tall raw farmers perpetually shuffling forward for a drink at the water-couver, stumbled across them or seized Jim's shoulder to steady themselves. To every surface of the old smoking car, to streaked windows and rusty ironwork and mud-smeared coconut matting, clung a sickening bitterness of cheap tobacco fumes, and whenever they touch the red plush of the seat, dust whisked up and the prints of their hands remained on the plush. The car was jammed.

Starting point is 00:32:06 Passengers come to sit on the arm of their seats to shout at friends across the aisle. But Elmer and Jam were unconscious of filth and smile and crowding. They sat silent, nervously intent, panting a little, their lips opened, their eyes veiled as they thought of Juanita and Nellie. The two girls, Juanita Klausel and Nellie Benton, were by no means professional daughters of joy. Juanita was cashier of the Cato lunch, quick eats. Nellie was assistant to a dressmaker. They were good girls, but excitable, and they found a little extra money useful for red slippers and nut-centered chocolates. Juanita, what a little darling, she understands a fellow's troubles, said Elmer,

Starting point is 00:32:58 as they balanced down the slushy steps at the grimy stone station of Cato. When Elmer, as a freshman, just arrived from the pool halls and Frame High School of Paris, Kansas, had begun to learn the decorum of Amor. He had been a boisterous lout who looked shamefaced, in the presence of gay ladies, who blundered against tables, who shouted and desired to let the world know how valiantly vicious he was being. He was still rather noisy and proud of wickedness when he was in a state of liquor, but in three and a quarter years of college he had learned how to approach girls. He was confident, he was easy, he was almost quiet,

Starting point is 00:33:46 he could look them in the eye with fondness and amusement. Juanita and Nellie lived with Nellie's widow aunt. She was a moral lady, but she knew how to keep out of the way, in three rooms over a corner grocery. They had just returned from work when Elmer and Jim stamped up the rickety outside wooden steps. Winita was lounging on a divan, which even a noble oriental red and white cover,

Starting point is 00:34:14 displaying a bearded wazir, three dancing ladies in chiffon trousers, and a nargile, and a moss, slightly larger than the nargile, could never cost you look like anything except a disguised bed. She was curled up, pinching her ankle with one tired and nervous hand, and reading a stimulating chapter of Laura Jane Libby. Her shirt waist was open at the throat, and down her slim stocking was a grievely. run. She was so Unwanita-like, an ash blonde, pale and lovely with an ill-restrained passion in her blue eyes. Nellie, a buxom, jolly child, dark as a jewist, was wearing a frowsy dressing-gown. She was making coffee and narrating her grievances against her employer, the pious dressmaker,

Starting point is 00:35:09 while Juanita paid no attention whatever. her. The young men crept into the room without knocking. You devils, sneaking in like this and us not dressed, yelped Nellie. Jim sidled up to her, dragged her plump hand away from the handle of the granite-ware coffee pot and giggled, but aren't you glad to see us?

Starting point is 00:35:34 Well, I don't know whether I am or not. Now, you quit. You behave, will you? Really did Elmer seem more deft than Jim lefferts. But now he was feeling his command over women, certain sorts of women. Silent yearning at Juanita, commending her with hot eyes, he sank on the temporary oriental couch, touched her pale hand with his broad fingertips and murmured. Why, you poor kid, you look so tired. I am, and you hadn't ought to have come here this afternoon. Nelsant threw a conneption fit the last time you were here.

Starting point is 00:36:16 "'Aray for Auntie!' "'But you're glad to see me?' she would not answer. "'Aren't you?' Bold eyes on hers that turned uneasily away, looked back, and sought the safety of the blank wall. "'Aren't you?' She would not answer. "'Wanita, and I've longed for you

Starting point is 00:36:41 something fierce ever since I saw you. His fingers touched her throat, but softly. Aren't you a little glad? As she turned her head, for a second she looked at him with embarrassed confession. She sharply whispered, no, don't. As he caught her hand, but she moved nearer to him, leaned against his shoulders. You're so big and strong, she sighed. But, golly, you don't. You don't. You don't. You're so big, you don't know how I need you. The president, old quarrels, quarrels is right, by golly. Remember I was telling you about him? He's laying for me because he thinks it was me and Jim that let the bats loose in the chapel. And I get so sick of that, gosh, all the week of Bible study, all about those holy old gazebos. And then when I think about you, my gosh, if you were just sitting on the other side of the stove from

Starting point is 00:37:41 me in my room here with your cute little red slippers cocked up on the nickel rail. Gee, how happy I would be. You don't think I'm just a bonehead, do you? Jim and Nellie were at the stage now of nudging each other and bawling. Hey, quit, will you? As they stood over the coffee. Say, you girls change your shirts and come on out, and we'll blow you to dinner. And maybe we'll dance a little, proclaimed Jim.

Starting point is 00:38:11 "'We can't,' said Nellie. "'Aunties soar as a pup because she was up late at a dance, "'life before last. "'We got to stay home. "'And you boys got to beat it before she comes in.' "'Oh, come on.' "'No, we can't.' "'Yeah, fat chance you girls staying home and knitting.

Starting point is 00:38:32 "'You've got some fellas coming in, "'and you want to get rid of us. "'That's the trouble.' "'It is not, Mr. James, "'and it wouldn't be any of your business if it was.' While Jim and Nellie squabbled, Elmer slipped his hand about Juanita's shoulder, slowly pressing her against him. He believed with terrible conviction that she was beautiful, that she was glorious,

Starting point is 00:38:58 that she was life. There was heaven in the softness of her curving shoulder, and her pale flesh was living soap. "'Come on in the other room,' he pleaded. "'Oh, not now,' he gripped her arm. "'Well, don't come in for a minute,' she fluttered. "'Allow to the others. I'm going to do my hair. "'Looks just terrible.'

Starting point is 00:39:25 She slipped into the room beyond. A certain mature self-reliance dropped from Elmer's face, and he was like a round-faced big baby, somewhat frightened. With efforts to appear careless, he fumbled about the room, and dusted a pink and gilt face with his large crumple handkerchief. He was near the inner door. He peeped at Gem and Nelly. They were holding hands while the coffee pot was so cheerfully boiling over.

Starting point is 00:39:57 Elmer's heart thumped. He slipped through the door and closed it, whimpering as in terror. Oh, Juanita! Part 6 They were gone, Elmer and Jim. before the return of Nellie's aunt. As they were not entertaining the girls, they dined on pork chops,

Starting point is 00:40:17 coffee, and apple pie at the McGinnis lunch. It has already been narrated that afterward, in the old home sample room, Elmer became philosophical and misogynistic as he reflected that Juanita was unworthy of his generous attention. It has been admitted that he became drunk and pugnacious. As he weavered through the side-werexed, sidewalk slush on Jim's arm. As his head cleared, his rage increased against the bully who was

Starting point is 00:40:47 about to be encouraged to insult his good friend and roommate. His shoulders straightened, his fists clenched, and he began to look for the scoundrel among the evening crowd of mechanics and coal miners. They came to the chief corner of the town. A little way down the street, beside the red brick wall of the Congress Hotel, someone was talking from the elevation of a box surrounded by a jering gang. What they picking on that fella that's talking for? They better let him alone, rejoiced Elmer, throwing off Jim's restraining hand, dashing down the side of the street and into the crowd. He was in that most blissful condition to which a powerful young man can obtain. Unrighteous violence and righteous cause. He pushed through the audience,

Starting point is 00:41:38 jabbed his elbow into the belly of a small weak man and guffawed at the cluck of distress. Then he came to a halt, unhappy and doubting. The heckled speaker was his chief detestation Eddie Fislinger, president of the Turtweller College YMCA, that rusty-haired gopher who had obscenely opposed his election as president. With two other seniors who were also in trading for the Baptist ministry, Eddie had come over to Cato to save a few souls. At least if they'd save no souls and they never had saved any in 17th Street meetings, they would have handy training for their future

Starting point is 00:42:21 jobs. Eddie was a rasping and insistent speaker who got results by hanging onto a subject and worrying it, but he had no great boldness, and now he was obviously afraid of his chief heckler, a large, blonde, pop-a-dored young baker who bolted in front of Eddie's Rostrum and asked questions. While Elmer stood listening, the baker demanded, What makes you think you know all about religion? I don't pretend to know all about religion, my friend, but I do know what a powerful influence it is for clean and noble living. And if you'll only be fair now, my friend,

Starting point is 00:42:59 and give me a chance to tell these other gentlemen what my experience of answers to prayer had been. You swell out of experience you've had by your looks. See here, there are others who may want to hear, though Elmer detested Eddie's sappiness. Though he might have liked to share drinks with the lively young Baker-Heller, there was no really good, unctuous violence to be had except by turning champion of religion.

Starting point is 00:43:27 The packed crowd excited him, and the pressure of rough bodies a smell of wet overcoats, the rumble of mob voices. It was all like a football lineup. "'He roared at the baker. Let the fellow speak. Give him a chance. Why don't you pick on somebody your own size, you big stiff?' At his elbow, Jim Leffert begged, "'Let's get out of this hellcat! Good Lord! You ain't going to help a gospel peddler?' Elmer pushed him away and thrust his chest out toward the baker who was cackling.

Starting point is 00:44:00 I suppose you're a Christer too. I would be if I was worthy. Elmer fully believed it for that delightful moment. These boys are classmates of mine. They're going to have a chance to speak. Eddie Fislinger bleated to his mates. Oh, fellas, Elm Gantry, saved. Even this alarming interpretation of his motives

Starting point is 00:44:25 could not keep Elmer now from a holy zeal of fighting. He thrust aside the one aged man who stood between him and the baker, bashing in the aged one's derby and making him telescope like a turtle-leck, and stood with his fist working like a connecting rod by his side. If he are looking for a crubble, the baker suggested, clumsily wobbling his huge bleached fist. Not me, observed Elmer, and struck once very judiciously, just at the point of the jaw. The baker shook like a skyscraper in an earthquake and caved to the ground. One of the baker's pals roared, Come on, we'll kill him, guys, and Elmer caught him on the left ear. It was a very cold ear, and his pal staggered extremely sick.

Starting point is 00:45:14 Elmer looked pleased, but he did not feel pleased. He was almost sober, and he realized that half a dozen young workmen were there about to rush him. though he had an excellent opinion of himself, he had seen too much football as played by denominational colleges with the Christian accompaniments of kneeling and gouging, to imagine that he could beat half a dozen workmen all at once. It is doubtful whether he would ever have been led to further association with the Lord, and Eddie Fizzlinger, had not Providence intervened in its characteristically mysterious way. the foremost of the attackers was just reaching for Elmer when the mob shouted, Look out, the cops! The police force of Cato, all three of them,

Starting point is 00:46:03 were wedging into the crowd. They were lanky, mustached men with cold eyes. What's all this row about? demanded the cheat. He was looking at Elmer, who was three inches taller than anyone else in the assembly. Some of these fellows tried to stop a peaceable religious assembly, while they tried to roughhouse the reverend here, and I was protecting him, Elmer said. That's right, Chief, regular outrage, complained Jim.

Starting point is 00:46:31 That's true, Chief, whistled Eddie Fistlinger from his box. Well, you fellas cut it out now. What the hell ought to be ashamed of yourselves bully-ragging a reverend. Go ahead, Reverend. The baker had come to and had been lifted to his feet. His expression indicated that he had been wronged, and that he wanted to do something about it, if he could only find out what had happened.

Starting point is 00:46:56 His eyes were wild, his hair was a muddy chaos, and his flat, flowery cheek was cut. He was too dizzy to realize that the chief of police was before him, and his fuming mind stuck to the belief that he was destroying all religion. Yeah, you're one of them wishy-washy preachers, too, he screamed at Elmer. Just as one of the lanky policemen reached out an arm of incredible, interval length and nipped him. The attention of the crown warmed Elver, and he expanded it.

Starting point is 00:47:27 He rubbed his mental hands in its blaze. Maybe I ain't a preacher. Maybe I'm not even a good Christian, he cried. Maybe I've done a whole lot of things I oughtn't to have done. But let me tell you, I respect religion. Oh, amen, praise the Lord, from Eddie Fizzlinger. And I don't suppose to let anybody interfere with it. What else have we got except religion?

Starting point is 00:47:50 to give us hope. Praise the Lord, oh, bless his name. Of ever leading decent lives, tell me that, will you? Just tell me that. Elmer was addressing the chief of police, who admitted, yeah, I guess that's right. Well, now, we'll let the meeting go on, and if any more of you fellas interrupt, this completed the chief's present ideas on religion and mob violence, he looked sternly at everybody within reach and stalked to the crowd to return to the police station. and resume his game of seven-up. Eddie was roaring into enchanted eloquence. Oh, my brethren, now you see the power of the Spirit of Christ

Starting point is 00:48:31 to stir up all that is noblest and best in us. You have heard the testimony of our brother here, brother-gantry, to the one and only way to righteousness. When you get home, I want each and every one of you to dig out the old book and turn to the Song of Solomon, where it tells about the love of the soul, Savior of the church. Turned to the Song of Solomon, the fourth chapter and the tenth verse, where it says, where Christ is talking about the church, and he says, Song of Solomon, the fourth chapter and

Starting point is 00:49:03 tenth verse, How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse, how much better is thy love than wine. O the unspeakable joy of finding the joys of salvation! You have heard our brother's testimony. We know him as a man of power. as a brother to all them that are oppressed, and now that he has had his eyes opened, and his ears unstop, and he sees the need of confession, and of humble surrender before the throne. Oh, this is a historic moment in the life of Helm, of Elmer Gantry. O brother, be not afraid. Come, step up here beside me, and give testimony. God, we better get out of here quick, panted Jim.

Starting point is 00:49:48 "'Gee, yes,' Elmer roared, and they edged back through the crowd, while any fizzlinger's piping, pursue them like an icy and penetrating rain. "'Don't be afraid to acknowledge the leading of Jesus. "'Are you boys going to show yourselves too cowardly, to risk the sneers of the ungodly?' "'Well, they were safely out of the crowd, walking with severe countenances "'and great rapidity back to the old home sample room. "'That was a dirty trick of Eddie's,' said Jim. "'God certainly was, trying to convert me right there before those muckers.

Starting point is 00:50:28 "'If I ever hear another yip out of Eddie, I'll knock his block off.' "'Snerve of him, trying to lead me up to any mourner's bench. "'Fat chance! "'I'll fix him. Come on, show a little speed,' asserted his brother to all of them that were oppressed. "'By the time for their late evening train, This sound of conversation of the bartender and the sound qualities of his bourbon had caused Elmer and Jim to forget Eddie Fizzlinger and the horrors of undressing religion in public. They were the more shocked, then, swaying in their seats in the smoker to see,

Starting point is 00:51:04 Eddie, standing by them, Bible and hand, backed by his two beaming partners in evangelism. Eddie bared his teeth, smiled all over his watery eyes, and caroled, "'Oh, brothers, you do not know how wonderful you were tonight. But, oh, boys, now you've taken the first step. Why do you put it off? Why do you hesitate? Why do you keep the Savior suffering as he waits for you, longs for you? He needs you, boys, with her splendid powers and intellects that we admire so.

Starting point is 00:51:36 This air, observed Jim Lephyrits, is getting too thick for me. I seem to smell a particular and a fish-like smell.' He slipped out of the seat and marched toward the forward car. Elmer sought to follow him, but Eddie had flopped into Jim's place and was blithely speaking on, while the other two hung over them with tender YMCA smiles. Very discomforting to Elmer's queasy stomach as the train bumped on. For all his brave words, Elmer had none of Jim's resolute contempt for the church. He was afraid of it.

Starting point is 00:52:13 It connoted his boyhood, his mother, drained by early widowhood and drudgery, finding her only emotion in hymns in the Bible, and weeping when he failed to study his Sunday school lesson. The church, full thirty dizzy feet up to its curiously carving rafters, and the preachers so overwhelming in their wallowing voices, so terrifying, in their pictures of little boys who stole the watermelons or indulged in biological, experiments behind Barnes, the all-oppressed moment of his second conversion at the age of 11th, when weeping with embarrassment and the prospect of losing so much fun, surrounded by Solomon, huskered adult faces, he had signed a pledge binding him to give up forever the joys of profanity,

Starting point is 00:53:05 alcohol, cards, dancing, and the theater. These clouds hung behind and over him for all his boldness, Eddie Fizzlinger, the human being he despised, he considered him a grasshopper, and with satisfaction considered stepping on him. But Eddie Fizzlinger, the gospeler, fortified with such a pebble-leather Bible bookmarks of a French silk and celluloid smirking from the pages, as his Sunday school teachers had wielded when they assured him that God was always creeping about to catch small boys in their secret thoughts. this armored eddy was an official and elmer listened to him uneasily never quite certain that he might not yet find himself a dreadful person leading a pure and borsome life in a clean frock coat and remember eddy was squealing how terribly dangerous it is to put off the hour of salvation watch therefore for you know not what hour your lord doth come it says suppose This train were wrecked tonight. The train, ungraciously, took that second to lurch on a curve.

Starting point is 00:54:20 You see? Where would you spend eternity, Hell, Cat? Do you think that any sporting around is fun enough to burn in hell for? I'll cut it out. I know all that stuff. There's a lot of arguments. You will, I get Jim to tell you what Bob Ingersoll said about hell. Yes, sure.

Starting point is 00:54:41 And you remember that on his deathbed, Ingersoll called his son to him and repented and begged his son to hurry and be saved and burn all his wicked writings. Well, thunder, I don't feel like talking religion tonight. Cut it out. But Eddie did feel like talking religion, very much as so. He waved his Bible enthusiastically and found ever so many uncomfortable texts. Elmer listened as little as possible, but he was too feeble to make threats. It was a golden relief when the train bumped to a stop at Gretzmacher Springs. The station was a greasy wooden box. The platform was thick with a slush under the kerosene lights.

Starting point is 00:55:25 But Jim was awaiting him, a refuge from confusing theological questions, and with a furious Gennite, to Eddie, he staggered off. Why didn't you make him shut his trap? demanded Jim. Why'd you take a sneak for him? I told him to shut up, and he shut up, and I snoozed all the way back, and, oh, my head, don't walk too fast. End of Chapter 1. Chapter 2 of Elmer Gantry.

Starting point is 00:55:56 This is the Libravox recording. All Libravox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Libravox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. L. Murgantry by Sinclair Lewis. Chapter 2, Part 1 For years, the state of sin, in which dwelt Elmer Gantry and Jim Lephyrtz, had produced

Starting point is 00:56:24 fascinated despair in the Christian hearts of Teruliger College. No revival, but had flung its sulfur-soaked arrows at them, usually in their absence. No prayer at the YMCA meetings had but worried over their staggered. Folly. Elmer had been known to wince when President, the Reverend Dr. Willoughby Quarles, was especially gifted with messages at Moines Chapel, but Jim had held him firm in the faith of unfaith. Now, Eddie Fislinger, like a prairie seraph, sped from room to room of the elect with the astounding news that Elmer had publicly professed religion and that he had endured

Starting point is 00:57:10 39 minutes of private adjuration on the train. Instantly started a holy plotting against the miserable sacrificial lamb, and all over Gritsmacher Springs, in the studies of ministerial professors, in the rooms of students, in the small prayer-meeting room behind the Chabell Auditorium, joyous souls conspired with the Lord against Elmer's serene and zealous sinning. Everywhere through the snowstorm you could hear murmurs of, There is more rejoicing over one sinner who repenteth.

Starting point is 00:57:49 Even collegians are not particularly esteemed for their piety, suspected of playing cards and secret smoking, were stirred to ecstasy, or it may have been sniggering. The football center, an unregenerate day's, a companion of Elmer and Jim, but now engaged to marry a large, sectified Swedish co-ed from Chinute, rose voluntarily in the YMCA, and promised God to help him win Elmer's favor.

Starting point is 00:58:21 The spirit waxed most fervent in the abode of Eddie Fizzlinger, who was now recognized as a future prophet likely, some day, to have, under his inspiration, one of the larger Baptist churches in Wichita, or even Kansas City. He organized an all-day and all-night prayer meeting on Elmer's behalf, and it was attended by the more ardent, even at the risk of receiving cuts and uncivilized remarks from instructors. On the bare floor of Eddie's room over Canute Halverstead's paint shop,

Starting point is 00:58:58 from three to sixteen young men knelt at a time, and no 1800 revival saw more successful for wrestling, with the Harris Satan. In fact, one man, suspected of Holy Ruler's sympathies, managed to have the jerks, and while they felt that this was scaring things rather further than the Lord and the Baptist Association would care to see, it added excitement to the praying at 3 o'clock in the morning,

Starting point is 00:59:28 particularly as they were all of them extraordinarily drunk, on coffee and eloquence. By morning they felt sure that they had persuaded God to attend, tend to Elmer, and though it is true that Elmer himself had slept quite soundly all night, unaware of the prayer meeting or of divine influences, it was but an example of the patience of the heavenly powers. And immediately after, those powers began to move. To Elmer's misery and Jim's still fury, their sacred room was invaded by hordes of men with uncombed locks on the foreheads, ecstasy in their eyes and Bibles under their arms.

Starting point is 01:00:11 Elmer was safe, nowhere. No sooner had he disposed of one disciple by the use of spirited and blasphemous arguments, patiently taught to him by Jim, then another would pop out from behind the tree and fall on him. But his boarding-house, Mother Metzger's, over on Beach Street, a YMCA-Durvish, crowed as he passed the bread to Elmer. Jeversidy, a kernel of wheat? It's wonderful. Think a wonderful, intricate thing like that created itself.

Starting point is 01:00:45 Somebody must have created it. Who? With God. Anybody that don't recognize God in nature and acknowledge Him in repentance is dumb. That's what he is. Instructors who had watched Elmer's entrance into classrooms with nervous fury

Starting point is 01:01:03 now smirked on him, and with tenderness heard the statement that he wasn't quite prepared to recite. The president himself stopped Elmer on the street and called him, my boy, and shook his hand with an affection which, Elmer anxiously assured himself he had certainly had done nothing to merit. He kept assuring Jim that he was in no danger. The Jim was alarmed, and Elmer himself more alarmed with each hour, each new group. each new greeting of we need you with us, old boy, the world needs you.

Starting point is 01:01:39 Jim did well to dread. Elmer had always been in danger of giving up his favorite diversions, not exactly giving them up, perhaps, but of sweating and agony after enjoying them. But for Jim, and his remarks about coeds who prayed in public and drew their hair back rebukingly from egg-like foreheads, one of these sirens of mortality

Starting point is 01:02:04 might have snared the easy-going pangenistic elmer by proximity. A dreadful young woman from Mexico, Missouri, used to coach him to tell his funny ideas about religion, and go off in nays of pious laughter while she showed,

Starting point is 01:02:24 oh, you're just too cute. You don't mean a word you say. You simply want to show off. She had a deceptive sidelong look which actually promised nothing whatever this side of the altar, and she might, but for Jim's struggles, have led Elmer into an engagement. The church and Sunday school at Elmer's village, Paris, Kansas, a settlement of 900 evangelical Germans and Vermonters, had nurtured in him a fear of religious machinery which he could never lose,

Starting point is 01:02:58 which restrained him from such reasonable acts as butchering Eddie Fizzlinger. That small, pasty-white Baptist church had been the center of all his emotions, aside from hell-raising, hunger, sleepiness, and love. And even these emotions were represented in the House of the Lord, in the way of tacks in pew cushions. Missionary suppers with chicken pie and angel's food cake, so-perific sermons and their proximity of flexible little girls in thin muslin. But the arts and the sentiments and the sentimentalities,

Starting point is 01:03:37 they were for Elmer perpetually associated only with the church, except for circus bands, for the July parades, and the singing of Columbia of the gym of the ocean, and jingle bells in school, all the music which the boy Elmer had ever heard was in church. The church provided his only oratory except for campaign speeches

Starting point is 01:04:03 by politicians ardent about Jefferson and the price of binding wine. It provided all his painting and sculpture, except for the portraits of Lincoln, Longfellow, and Emerson in the school building, and the two China statuettes of pink ladies with gilt-flower baskets which stood on his mother's bureau.

Starting point is 01:04:27 From the church came all his profounder philosophy, except the teacher's admonitions that little boys who let garter snakes loose in school were certain to be licked now and hanged later, and his mother's stream of opinions on hanging up his overcoat, wiping his feet, eating fried potatoes with his fingers, and taking the name of the Lord in vain. If he had sources of love,

Starting point is 01:04:54 literary inspiration outside the church. In McGuffey's reader, he encountered the boy who stood on the burning deck, and he had a very pretty knowledge of the Nick Carter series and the exploits of Cole Younger and the James boys. Yet here, too, the church had guided him. In Bible stories, in the words of the great hymns, in the anecdotes, which the various preachers quoted, he had his only knowledge of literature. The story of Little Lame Tom, who shamed the wicked, rich man that owned the handsome team of

Starting point is 01:05:31 Grays, and the pot-head that led him to Jesus. The ship's captain who in the storm took counsel with the orphaned, but righteous child of missionaries in Zumbara. The faithful dog, who saved his master

Starting point is 01:05:46 during a terrific conflagration, only sometimes it was a snowstorm or an attack by Indians, and roused them to give up horse-racing, drum, and playing the harmonica. How familiar they were, how thrilling, how explanatory to Elmer of the purposes of life, how preparatory for his future usefulness and charm. The church, the Sunday school, the evangelistic orgy, choir practice, raising the mortgage, the delights of funerals, the snickers in back pews in the other room at weddings,

Starting point is 01:06:24 They were as natural and inescapable a mold of manners to Elmer as Catholic processionals to a street gammon in Naples. The Baptist Church of Paris, Kansas, a thousand blurred but indestructible pictures. Hems! Elmer's voice was made for hymns. He rolled them out like a negro, the organ thunder of Nicaea, holy, holy, all the saints adore they. casting down their golden crowns around the classy sea, the splendid rumble of the doxology, throughout the lifeline, with this picture of a wreck pounded in the darkness by surf

Starting point is 01:07:07 which the prairie child imagined as a hundred feet high, onward Christian soldiers, to which you could without rebut stomp your feet. Sunday school picnics, lemonade and four-legged races, and they're right on a hay-rack singing, See Nelly Home. Sunday school text cards.

Starting point is 01:07:33 True, they were chiefly a medium of gambling, but as Elmer usually won the game, he was the first boy in Paris to own a genuine pair of loaded dice. He had plenty of them in his gallery, and they gave him taste for gaudy robes, for marble columns, and the purple-broidered palates of kings, which was later to be of value in quickly habituated himself to the more decorative homes of vice.

Starting point is 01:08:01 The three kings bearing caskets of ruby and sardonyx, King Zedekiah in golden scarlet, kneeling on a carpet of sapphire blue, while his men at arms came fleeing and blood-stained, red blood on glancing steel, with tidings of the bannered host of Nepikadnezer, great king of battering of Babylon. And all his life, Alma remembered in moments of ardor, during oratorials and huge churches, during sunset at sea, a black-bearded David, standing against raw red cliffs, a heroic figure and summoning to ambition, to power, to domination. Sunday School Christmas Eve. The acceleration of staying up and publicly till 9.30,

Starting point is 01:08:52 The tree, incredibly tall, also incredibly flammable, flashing with silver cords, with silver stars, with cotton batting snow. The two round stoves red hot, lights and lights and lights. Pails of candy, and for every child in this school a present, usually a book, very pleasant with colored pictures of lambs and volcanoes. The Santa Claus, he couldn't possibly be Lorenzo Nickerson, the house painter. So bearded was he, and red-shed and so witty in his comment on each child as it marched up for its present? The enchantment, sheer magic of the ladies' quartet, singing of shepherds who watched their flocks by knights,

Starting point is 01:09:45 brown secret hilltops under one fast star, and the devastating morning when the preacher himself who the Reverend Wilson Hinkley Skaggs caught Elmer matching for Sunday school contribution pennies on the front steps and led him up the aisle for all to giggle at with a sharp and not very clean ministerial thumbnail

Starting point is 01:10:12 gouging his earloat and the other passing preachers brother Organdy, Who got you to saw his wood-free? Brother Blunt, who sneaked behind barns to catch you on Halloween? Brother Engel, who was zealous, but young and actually human, and who made whistles from hollow branches for you. And the morning when Elmer concealed an alarm clock

Starting point is 01:10:40 behind the organ, and it went off magnificently, just as a superintendent, Dr. Prouty, the dentist, was whimpering, Now let us all be particularly quiet as Sister Holbrook leads us in prayer. And always the three chairs that stood behind the pulpit, the intimidating stiff chairs of yellow plush and carved oak borders, which, as he was un Easily sure, were waiting for the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghosts.

Starting point is 01:11:13 He had, in fact, got everything from the church, Sunday school, except perhaps any longing whatever for decency and kindness and reason. Part 2 Even had Elmer not known their church by habit, he would have been led to it by his mother. Aside from his friendship for Jim Lefferts, Elmer's only authentic affection was for his mother, and she was owned by the church. She was a small woman, energetic, nagging but kindly, once given to passionate caresses, and now to passionate prayer, and she had an unusual courage.

Starting point is 01:11:59 Early left the widow by Logan Gantry, dealer in feed, flower, lumber, and agricultural implements, a large and agreeable man to deaths and whiskey, she had supported herself and Elmer by sewing, trimming hats, baking bread and selling milk. She had her own millinery and dress-making shop now, narrow and dim, but proudly set right on Main Street, and she was able to give Elmer the $300 a year which, with his summer earnings in harvest field and lumberyard, was enough to support him in Terwilliger in 1902.

Starting point is 01:12:38 She had always wanted Elmer to be a preacher. She was jolly enough, and no fool about pennies in making change, but for a preacher standing up on a platform and a long-tailed coat, she had gaping awe. Elmer had since the age of sixteen been a member in good standing of the Baptist Church. He had been mostly satisfactorily immersed in the Cayusha River, large though Elmer was, the evangelist had been a powerful man who had not only ducked him, but in sacred enthusiasm had held him under, so that he came up sputtering

Starting point is 01:13:18 in a state of grace and muddiness. He had also been saved several times, and once when he had pneumonia, he had been esteemed by the pastor and all visiting ladies as rapidly growing in grace. But he had resisted his mother's desire that he become a preacher. He would have had to give up his entertaining vices, and with white-eyed and panting happiness, he was discovering more of them every year. Equally, he felt lumbering and shamed whenever he had to stand up before his tittering gang in Paris and appear pious. It was hard, even in college days, to withstand his mother. Though she came only to his shoulders, such was her bustling vigor, her swift shrewdness of talent, such the gallantry of her long care for him,

Starting point is 01:14:13 that he was afraid of her as he was afraid of Jim Leffert's scorn. He never dared honestly to confess his infidelity, but he grumbled, Oh, gee, ma, I don't know. Trouble is, fellas don't make much money preaching. Gee, there's no hurried, don't have to decide yet. And she knew now that he was likely to become a lawyer. Well, that wasn't so bad, she felt.

Starting point is 01:14:41 Someday he might go to Congress and reformed the whole nation into a pleasing likeness of Kansas. But if he could only become part of the mysteries that hovered about the communion table, she had talked him over with Eddie Fizzlinger, Eddie came from a town twelve miles from Paris, though it might be years before he was finally ordained as a minister, Eddie had by his home congregation been given a license to preach as early as his sophomore year in Terwilliger. And for a month, one summer, while Elmer was out in the harvest fields or the swimming pool or robbing orchard, Eddie had earnestly supplied the Baptist pulpit in Paris.

Starting point is 01:15:29 Mrs. Gantry consulted him, and Eddie instructed her with the dignity of 19. Oh yes, Brother Gantry was a fine young man, so strong. They all admired him, a little too much tempted by the vain gods of this world, but that was because he was young. Oh, yes, someday Elmer would settle down and be a fine Christian husband and father and businessman. But as to the ministry, no. Mrs. Gantry must not too greatly meddle with these mysteries. He was up to God.

Starting point is 01:16:04 A fellow had to have a call before he felt his vocation for the ministry. A real overwhelming, mysterious knock-down call, such as Eddie himself had ecstatically experienced, wouldn't even eat in a cabbage patch? No, not think of that. Their task was now to get over into a real state of grace, and that, Eddie assured her, looked to him like a good deal of a job. Undoubtedly, Eddie explained when,

Starting point is 01:16:34 when Elmer had been baptized at 16th, he had felt the invitation, and the burden of his sins had been lifted. But he had not, Eddie doubted, entirely experienced salvation. He was not really in a state of grace. He might almost be called unconverted. Eddie diagnosed the case completely with all the proper pathological terms. Whatever difficulties he may have had,

Starting point is 01:17:00 with philosophy, Latin, and calculus, There had never been a time since the age of 12 when Eddie Fislinger had had difficulty in understanding what the Lord God Almighty wanted, and why all through history he had acted thus with us. I should be the last to condemn athletics, said Eddie. We must have strong bodies to endure the burden and the sweat of carrying the gospel to the world. But at the same time, it seems to me that football tends to, to detract from religion. I'm a little afraid that just at present Elmer is not in a state of grace.

Starting point is 01:17:41 But, oh, sister, don't let us worry and prevail. Let us trust the Lord. I'll go to Elmer myself and see what I can do. That must have been the time, it certainly was during that vacation, between their sophomore and junior years, when Eddie walked out to the farm where Elmer was working, and looked at Elmer, bulky and hay-seedy in a sleeveless undershirt, and spoke reasonably of the weather and walked back again. Whenever Elmer was at home, though he tried affectionately to live out his mother's plan of life for him,

Starting point is 01:18:19 though without very much grumbling, he went to bed at 9.30, white-washed the hen house, and accompanying her to church. Yet Mrs. Gantry suspected that sometimes he drank beer, and doubted about Jonah, and uneasily Elmer heard her sobbing as she knelt by her high-swelling, white counterpained, old-fashioned bed. With alarmed, evangelistic zeal,

Starting point is 01:18:49 Jim Leffert's struggle to keep Elmer true to the faith, after his exposure to religion in defending Eddie. at Cato. He was, on the whole, rather more zealous and fatiguing than Eddie. Nights when Elmer longed to go to sleep, Jim argued. Mornings when Elmer should have been preparing his history, Jim read aloud from Ingersoll and Thomas Paine. How are you going to explain a thing like this?

Starting point is 01:19:18 How are you going to explain it? begged Jim. It says here in Deuteronomy that God chased these yids around in the desert for forty years, and their shoes didn't even wear out. That's what it says, right in the Bible. You believe a thing like that? And do you believe that Samson lost all his strength just because his gal cut off his hair? Or do you?

Starting point is 01:19:45 Think hair had anything to do with his strength? Jim raced up and down the stuffy room, kicking chairs, his norably bland eyes feverish, his forefinger shaken in wrath, while Elmer sat humped on the edge of the bed, his forehead in his hands, rather enjoying having his soul fought for. To prove that he was still a sound and free-thinking stalwart, Elmer went out with Jim one evening, and at considerable effort they carried off a small outhouse and placed it on the steps of the administration building.

Starting point is 01:20:21 Elmer almost forgot to worry after the affair of Eddie and Dr. Lefferts. Jim's father was a medical practitioner in an adjoining village. He was a plump, bearded, bookish, merry man, very proud of his atheism. It was he who had trained Jim in the faith and in his choice of liquor. He had sent Jim to this denominational college, partly because it was cheap, and partly because it tickled his humor to watch his son stir up the fretful complacency of the saints. He dropped in and found Elmer and Jim agitatedly awaiting the arrival of Eddie. Eddie said, well, Elmer, he said that he was coming up to see me,

Starting point is 01:21:11 and he'll haul out some more of these proofs that I'm going straight to hell. Gosh, doctor, I don't know what's got into me. you better examine me. I must have anemex or something. Why, at one time, if Eddie Fislinger had smiled at me, damn him. Think of him caring to smile at me. If he had said he was coming to my room, I'd have told him, like hell, you will, and I'd have kicked him in the shims. Dr. Lefferts purred in his beard, his eyes were bright. I'll give your friend Fizzlinger a run for his money. and for the inconsequential sake of the non-existent heaven, Jim, try not to look surprised when you find your respectable father being pious.

Starting point is 01:22:02 When Eddie arrived, he was introduced to a silkily cordial Dr. Leverts, who shook his hand with that lengthiness and painfulness common to politicians, salesman, and the godly. The doctor had rejoiced, "'Brother Fizzlinger, my boy here and Elmer, "'tell me that you've been trying to help them see the true Bible religion. "'I've been forsaking to.' "'It warms my soul to hear you say that, brother Fislinger.

Starting point is 01:22:34 "'You can't know what a grief it is to an old man tottering to the grave, "'to one whose only solace now is prayer in Bible reading.' "'Dr. Leverts had sat up till four hours. A. M. three nights ago, playing poker and discussing biology with his cronies, the probate judge and the English stock breeder. What a grief it is, to him that his only son, James Blaine Lefferts, is not a true believer. But perhaps you can do more than I can, brother Fislinger. They think I'm a fanatical old fogy. Now let me see. You're a real Bible believer? Oh, you? You're a real Bible believer? Oh, you? "'Yes,' Eddie looked triumphantly at Jim,

Starting point is 01:23:20 "'who was leaning against the table his hands in his pockets, "'as expressionless as wood. "'Elmer was curiously, hunched up in the Morris chair, "'his hands over his mouth. "'The doctor said approvingly, "'with that splendid, you believe every word of it, I hope, "'from cover to cover?' "'Oh, yes. What I always say is,

Starting point is 01:23:42 "'it's better to have the whole Bible "'than a Bible full of holes.' "'Why, that's a real thought, brother Fizzlinger. "'I must remember that to tell any of those "'alurged higher critics, if I ever meet any. "'Bibel whole, not Bible full of holes. "'Oh, that's a fine thought and cleverly expressed. "'You made it up?'

Starting point is 01:24:04 "'Well, not actually.' "'I see, I see. "'Well, that's splendid. "'Now, of course you believe in the pre-millennial coming, I mean the real, authentic, genuine, immediate bodily, pre-millennial coming of Jesus Christ? Oh, yes, sure. And the virgin birth? Oh, you bet.

Starting point is 01:24:29 That's splendid. Of course, there are doctors who question whether the virgin birth is quite in accordance with their experience of obstetrics. But I tell those fellows, look here. How do you know it's true? because it says so in the Bible, and if it weren't true, do you suppose it would say so in the Bible? That certainly shuts them up. They have precious little to say after that. By this time a really beautiful, bounteous fellowship was flowing between Eddie and the doctor, and they were looking with pity on the embarrassed faces of the two heretics left out in the cold.

Starting point is 01:25:09 Dr. Lefferts tickled his beard and crooned, and, of course, brother Fislinger, you believe in infant damnation. Eddie explained, no, that's not a Baptist doctrine. You, you, the good doctor choked, tugged at his collar, panted and well, it's not a Baptist doctrine. You don't believe in infant damnation? Why, no. Then God help the Baptist church and the Baptist doctrine.

Starting point is 01:25:38 God help us all in these unregenerate. days that we should be contaminated by such infidelity. Eddie sweat, while the doctor patted his plump hands and agonized, Look you hear, my brother, it's very simple. Are we not saved by our being washed in the blood of the lamb, and by that alone by his blessed sacrifice alone? Why, yes, but then either we are awashed white and saved, or else we are not washed and we are not saved.

Starting point is 01:26:12 That's the simple truth, and all weaklings and explanations and hymning and hoeing about this clear and beautiful truth are simply of the devil, brother, and at what moment does a human being, in all his inevitable sinfulness, become subject to baptism and salvation? At two months? At nine years? At sixteen? At forty-seven, at ninety-nine? No, the moment he is born. And so if he be not baptized, then he must burn in hell forever. What does it say in the good book? For there is none other name under heaven given among men whereby we must be saved. It may seem a little hard of God to try to fry the beautiful little babies,

Starting point is 01:27:03 but then think of the beautiful women whom he loves to roast there for edification of the saints. Oh, brother, brother, now I understand why Jimmy here and poor Elmer are lost to the faith. It's because professed Christians like you give them this emasculated religion. Why, it's fellows like you who break down the dike of true belief and open a channel for higher criticism and Sabalianism, and nymphomania and agnosticism, and heresy, and, Catholicism and Seventh-day Adventism, and all those horrible German inventions. Once you begin to doubt, the wicked work is done. Oh, Jim, Elmer, I told you to listen to our friend here,

Starting point is 01:27:56 but now that I find him practically a free thinker, the doctor staggered drew a chair, Eddie stood gaping it was the first time in his life that anyone had accused him of feebleness in the first. faith of under-strictness. He was smirkingly accustomed to being denounced as over-strict. He had almost as much satisfaction out of denouncing liquor as other collegians had out of drinking it. He had, partly from his teachers and partly right out of his own brain, any number of good answers to classmates who protested that he was old-fashioned,

Starting point is 01:28:34 in belaboring domino playing open communion, listening to Walt's music, wearing a galley, in the pulpit, taking a walk on Sunday, reading novels, transubstantiation, and those other devices of the devil called moving pictures. He could frighten almost any Laudician, but to be called shaky himself, to be called heretic and a slacker, for that inconceivable attack he had no retort. He looked at the agonized doctor. He looked at Jim in Elmer. who were obviously distressed at his fall from spiritual leadership, and he fled to secret prayer. He took his grief presently to President Quarles,

Starting point is 01:29:21 who explained everything perfectly. But this doctor quoted Scripture to prove his point, bleated Eddie. Don't forget, Brother Fizzlinger, that the devil can quote Scripture to his purpose. Eddie thought that was a very nice thought and very nicely expressed, and though he was not altogether sure that it was from the Bible, he put it away for future use in sermons.

Starting point is 01:29:47 But before he was sufficiently restored, to go after Elmer again, Christmas vacation had arrived. When Eddie had gone, Elmer laughed far more heartily than Jim or his father. It is true that he hadn't quite understood what it was all about. I sure, Eddie had said it right. Infant damnation wasn't a Baptist doctrine. It belonged to some of the Presbyterians, and everybody knew the Presbyterians had a lot of funny beliefs.

Starting point is 01:30:20 But the doctor certainly had done something to squelch Eddie, and Elmer felt safer than for many days. He continued to feel safe up till Christmas vacation. And then, someone, presumably Eddie had informed Eddie's mother of his new and promising Christian status. He himself had been careful to keep such compromising rumors out of his weekly letters home. Through all the vacation he was conscious that his mother was hovering closer to him than usual, that she was waiting to snatch at his soul if he showed weakening.

Starting point is 01:30:59 Their home pastor, the Reverend Mr. Aker, known in Paris as Reverend Aker, shook hands with him at the church door with approval as incriminating as the affection of his instructors at Terwilliger. Unsupported by Jim, aware that at any moment Eddie might pop in from his neighboring town and be accepted as an ally by Mrs. Gantry, he almost spent a vacation in which there was but little peace. To keep his morale up, he gave particularly earnest attention to bottle-pool, and to the daughter of a nearby farmer. But he was in dread, lest these be the last sad ashen days of his naturalness. It seemed menacing that Eddie should be on the same train back to college. Eddie was with another exponent of piety, and he said nothing to Elmer about the delights of hell. But he and his companion secretly giggled with a confidence more than dismaying.

Starting point is 01:32:07 Jim Liffords did not find in Elmer's face the conscious probity and steadfastness, which he had expected. End of Chapter 2 Chapter 3 of Elmer Gantry. 1 and 2. This is a Libravox recording. All Libravox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Libravox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis, Chapter 3, Part 1 and 2. Part 1. Early in January was the annual College YMCA Week of Prayer. It was a country-wide event, but in Terwillier College it was of special par that year

Starting point is 01:32:59 because they were privileged to have with them for three days, none other than Judson Roberts, State Secretary of the YMCA, and a man of great personality as well as officially. He was young, Mr. Roberts, only 34, but already been known throughout the land. He had always been known. He had been a member of a star, University of Chicago football team. He had played for City baseball and had been captain of the debating team, and at the same time he had commanded the YMCA. He had been known as the

Starting point is 01:33:36 praying fullback. He still cupped up his exercise. He was said to have boxed privily with Jim Jeffries, and he had mightily increased his praying. A very friendly leader he was, and mindful. hundreds of college men throughout Kansas called him Old Judd. Between prayer meetings at Terwilliger, Judson Roberts, set in a Bible history seminar room, at a long table under a bilious map of the Holy Land, and had private conferences with the men's students. A surprising number of them came edging in,

Starting point is 01:34:14 trembling with averted eyes to ask advice about a secret practice. and old Judd seemed amazingly able to guess their trouble before they got going. He was very manly and jolly. Well, now, old boy, I'll tell you terrible thing, all right. But I've met quite a few cases, and you just want to buck up and take it to the Lord in prayer. Remember that he is able to help unto the utmost. Now, the first thing you want to do is get rid of, I'm afraid that you have some pretty nasty pictures.

Starting point is 01:34:52 And maybe a juicy book isn't it away? No, haven't you, old boy? How could old Judd have guessed? What a quaker. That's right. I've got a swell plan, old boy. Make a study of missions, and think how clean and pure and manly

Starting point is 01:35:11 you'd want to be if you're going to carry the joys of Christianity to a lot of poor gazebos that are under the... evil spell of Buddhism, and a lot of those heathen religions. Would you want to be able to look them straight in the eye and shame them? Next thing to do is to get a lot of exercise. Get out and run like hell. And then cold baths, darn cold. They are now, rising with ever so manly a handshake,

Starting point is 01:35:43 now skip along and remember, with a tremendous and fetching virile laugh, just run like hell. Jim and Elmer heard old Judd in chapel. He was tremendous. He told them a jolly joke about a man who kissed a girl, yet he rose to feathered heights when he described the beatitude of real ungrudging prayer,

Starting point is 01:36:07 in which a man was big enough to be as a child. He made them tearful over the gentleness, with which he described the Christ's child, wandering lost by his parents, yet the next moment he had them stretching, with admiration as he arched his big shoulder muscles, and observed that he could knock the block off any sneering, sneaking, lying, beer-blooded bully, who should dare to come up to him in a meeting and try to throw a monkey wrench and to the machinery by dragging out a lot of contemptible, quibbling, atheistic, smart aleck, doubts. He really did. The young men glowed, used the terms, knock the black off, and throw a monkey wrench.

Starting point is 01:36:54 Oh, he was a Lulu, a real red-blooded, regular fella. Jim was coming down with the grip. He was unable to pump up even one good sneer. He sat folded up, his chin near his knees, and Elmer was allowed to swell with hero worship. Golly. He thought, he thought, he, he thought, he, he, thought he had some muscle, but that guy Judson Roberts, Zowie, he could put Elmer on the mat, seven falls out of five. What a football player, he must have been. Wee. This homeric worship, he tried to explain to Jim, back in their room, but Jim sneezed and went to bed. The rude bard was left without audience, and he was practically glad when Eddie Fizzlinger scratched at the door and edged in.

Starting point is 01:37:45 Don't want to bother you, fellas, but notice you were at old Judd's meeting this afternoon and say, You've got to come out and hear me again tomorrow evening. Big evening of the week. Say, honest Hellcat, don't you think Jud's a real humdinger? Yeah, I got to admit, he's a dandy fellow. Say, he certainly is, isn't he? He certainly is a dandy fellow, isn't he? Isn't he a peach?

Starting point is 01:38:16 Yes, he is. certainly a peach for a religious crank. Oh, now, hell cat. Don't go calling him names. You'll admit he looks like some football shark. Yeah, I guess he does it that. I like to have played with him. Wouldn't you like to meet him? Well, at this moment of danger, Jim reached his dizzy head to protest. He's a holy strike breaker, one of those thick necks. that was born husky and tries to make you think he made himself husky by prayer and fasting. I'd hate to take a chance on any poor little orphan nip of bourbon

Starting point is 01:38:57 wandering into old Judd's presence. Yeah, chest pounder. Why can't you hundred-pound shrimps be a big manly Christian like me? Together, they protested against this defilement of the hero, and Eddie admitted that he had ventured to praise Elmer to old John. Judd, that old Judd seemed enthralled, that old Judd was more than likely, so friendly a great man he was, to run in on Elmer this afternoon. Before Elmer could decide whether to be pleased or indignant, before the enfeeble gem could get up strength to decide for him, the door was hit by a mighty

Starting point is 01:39:40 and hectic wallop, and in-strode Judson Roberts, big as a grizzly, jolly as a spaniel. of pup and radiant as ten sons. He sat upon Elmer immediately. He had six other Dowling Thomas's, or suspected smokers, to dispose of before six o'clock. He was a very young giant with curly hair and a grin, and with a voice like a bulls of Bashan, whenever the strategy called for manliness. But with erring sisters, unless they were too erring, he could be as lolling as woodland violins. shaking in the perfumed breeze. Hello, Hellcat, he boomed. Shake hands.

Starting point is 01:40:25 Elmer had a playful custom of squeezing people's hands till they cracked. For the first time he had his life, his own Paul felt limp and burning. He rubbed it and looked simple. Been hearing a lot about you, Hellcat. And you, Jim? Laid out, Jim? Want me to try it out and get a dock? old Judd was sitting easily on the edge of Jim's bed, and in the light of that grin, even Jim Leveritz,

Starting point is 01:40:54 could not be very sour as he tried to sneer. No, thanks. Roberts turned to Elmer again and gloated. Well, old son, I've been hearing a lot about you. Gee, welligans, that must have been a great game you played against Thorvalson College. They tell me, when you hit that line, it gave like a sponge. and when you tackle that big long swede, he went down like he had been hit by lightning. Well, it wasn't a good game.

Starting point is 01:41:24 Of course, I read about it at the time. Did you, honest? Of course I wanted to hear more about it and meet you, Hellcat. So I've been asking the boys about you and say they certainly do give you a great hand. Wish I could have had you with me on my team at old you of shy. We needed a tackle like you. Elmer basked. Yes, sir, the boys all been telling me what a dandy fine fellow you are,

Starting point is 01:41:53 and what a corking athlete, and what an A-1 gentleman. They all say, there's just one trouble with you, Elmer, lad. Eh? They say you're a coward. Eh? Who says I'm a coward? Justin Roberts, swaggered across from the bed, stood with his hand on Elmer's shoulder. They all say it, Hell, Cat.

Starting point is 01:42:18 You see, it takes that sure enough died in the world brave man to bring big enough to give Jesus a shot at him and admit he's licked when he tries to fight God. It takes a man with guts to kneel down and admit his worthlessness when all the world is jeering at him. And you haven't got that kind of courage, Elmer. Oh, you think you're such a bit. big cuss. Old Judd swung him around. Old Judd's hand was crushing his shoulder. You think you're too

Starting point is 01:42:49 husky, too good to associate with the poor little sniveling gospel mongers, don't you? You could knock out any of them, couldn't you? Well, I am one of them. You want to knock me out? With one swifted jerk, Roberts had his coat off, stood with a striped silk shirt, revealing his hogshead torso. You bet, Hellcat, I'm willing to fight you for the glory of God. God needs you. Can you think of anything finer for a big husky fellow like you to spend his life bringing poor week six scared folks to happiness? Can't you see how the poor little skinny guys and all the kiddies would follow you and praise you and admire you,

Starting point is 01:43:38 you old son of a gun. Am I a little sneaking Christian? Can you lick me? You want to fight it out? No, gee, Mr. Roberts. Judson, you big chunk of cheese, old Judd. No, gee,

Starting point is 01:43:57 Judson, I guess you got me trimmed. I pack a pretty good wob, but I'm not going to take any chance on you. All right, old son. still think that all religious folks are crabs? No. And weaklings and pikers? No?

Starting point is 01:44:14 And liars? Oh, no. All right, old boy? Going to allow me to be a friend of yours if I don't butt in on your business? Oh, gee, well, sure. Then there's just one favor I want to ask. Will you come to our big meeting tomorrow night?

Starting point is 01:44:35 You don't have to do a thing. If you think we're four flushers, all right, that's your privilege. Only will you come and not decide we're all wrong beforehand, but really use that big, fine, incisive brain of yours and study us as we are? Will you come? Oh, yes, sure, you bet.

Starting point is 01:44:59 Fine, old boy, mighty proud to have you let me come button in here this informal way? Remember, if you honestly feel I'm using any undue influence on the boys, you come right after me and say so, and I'll be mighty proud of your trusting me to stand the gaff. So long, old Elm, so long, Jim, God bless you. So long, Judd, he was gone. A whirlwind that whisked the inconspicuous herb eddy fizzlinger out of it. the way. And then, Jim Leverett's spoke. For a time after Justin Roberts' curtain, Elmer stood glowing, tasting praise. He was conscious of Jim's eyes on his back, and he turned toward the bed defiantly. They stared in a tug-of-war. Elmer gave in with the furious,

Starting point is 01:45:58 Well, then, why didn't you say something while he was here? To him, talk to a curly wolf when he smells meat? Besides, he's intelligent that fellow. Well, I'm glad to hear you say that because, well, you see, I'll explain how I feel. Oh, no, you won't, sweetheart. You haven't got to the miracle pulling stage yet. Sure, he's intelligent.

Starting point is 01:46:27 I never seen a better exhibition of Bunko steering in my life. Sure. He's just crazy to have you come. come up and kick him in the ear, and tell him you decided you can't give your imprimatur. My what? To his show, and he's to quit and go back to Han carrying. Sure, he read all about your great game with Thorvilsen, sent off to New York to get that review of reviews and read more about it.

Starting point is 01:46:59 Eddie Fislinger never told him a word. He read about your tackling in the London Times, you bet. Didn't he say so? And he's a saved soul. He couldn't lie. And he just couldn't stand it if he didn't become a friend of yours. He can't know more than a couple of thousand college boys to spring that stuff on. You bet I believe in the old bearded Jew God.

Starting point is 01:47:26 Nobody but him could have made all the idiots that are in the world. Gee, Jim, honest. You don't understand yet. Oh, no, I don't, when he could be a decent prize-fighter and not have to go around with angle-worms like Eddie fizzlinger day after day. And thus till midnight, for all Jim's fevers. But Elmer was at Judson Roberts' meeting next evening, unprotected by Jim, remained at home in so vile a temper that Elmer had sent in a doctor and sneaked away from the room for the afternoon. Part 2. It was undoubtedly Eddie who wrote or telegraphed to Mrs. Gantry,

Starting point is 01:48:15 that she would do well to be present at the meeting. Paris was only 40 miles from Gritzmacher Springs. Elmer crept into his room at 6, still wistfully hoping to have Jim's sanction, still ready to insist that if he went to the meeting, he would be in no danger of conversion. He had walked miles through the slush worrying. He was ready now to give up the meeting, to give up Judson's friendship, if Jim would insist.

Starting point is 01:48:48 As he wavered in, Mrs. Gantry stood by Jim's lightning shot in bed. Why, Ma! What are you doing here? What's going wrong? Elmer panted. It was impossible to think of her taking a journey for anything less than a funeral. "'Cosely, "'can't I run up and see my two boys if I want to ail me? "'I declare, I believe you'd have killed Jim with all this nasty tobacco air "'if I hadn't come in and erred the place out.

Starting point is 01:49:21 "'I thought, Elmer Gantry, you weren't supposed to smoke in Tirwilliger. "'By the rules of the college, I thought. "'Young man, that you lived up to him. "'But never mind.' "'Un Easily, for Jim had never before, seen him demoted to childhood, as he always was in his mother's presence, Elmer grumbled. Ah, but honest, ma, what did you come up for? Well, I read about what a nice week of prayer you are going to have, and I thought, I'd just like to hear a real big bugs. I've got a vacation

Starting point is 01:49:59 coming, too. Now, don't you worry one might about me. I guess I can take care of myself after all these years? The first traveling I ever done with you, Jim, young man, the time I went to Cousin Edelaine's wedding. I just tucked you under one arm, and how you squalled the full way. Mercy, you like to hear the sound of your own voice then, just like you do now. And I tucked my old valise under the other, and off I went. Don't you worry one might about me. I'm only going to stay over the night, got a sail on remnants starting. going back on number seven tomorrow. I left my valise at that boarding house right across from the depot.

Starting point is 01:50:43 But there's one thing you might do if I taint too much trouble, Elmy. You know I've been up here at the college once before. I'd feel kind of funny, country bumpkin like me, going alone to that big meeting with all those smart people and everybody there, and I'd be glad if you could come along. Of course he'll go, Mrs. Gantry, said Jim. But before Elmer was carried away,

Starting point is 01:51:10 Jim had the chance to whisper, God, do be careful. Remember, I won't be there to protect you. Don't let him pick on you. Don't do one single doggone thing they want you to do, and then maybe you'll be safe. As he went out, Elmer looked back at Jim.

Starting point is 01:51:29 He was shakily sitting up in bed, his eyes imploring. End of chapter three, Parts of 1. 1 and 2. Chapter 3, Part 3 of Elmer Gantry. This is a Libravox recording. All Libravox recordings are in the public domain.

Starting point is 01:51:49 For more information or to volunteer, please visit Libravox.org. Read by William Jones, Beneath Springs, Florida. Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis, Part 3. The climactic meeting of the annual prayer week to be addressed by President Quarles, four ministers, and a rich trustee who was in the Pearl Button business with Judson Roberts as star solist

Starting point is 01:52:17 was not held at the YMCA but at the largest auditorium in town, the Baptist Church, with hundreds of town people joining the collegians. The church was a welter of Brownstone with Moorish arches and an immense star-shaped window, not yet filled with stained glass. Elmer hoped to be late enough to creep in inconspicuously,

Starting point is 01:52:43 but as his mother, and he straggled up to the Romanesque portico, students were still outside chattering. He was certain they were whispering, "'There he is, Hellcat Gandry. Say, is it really true? He's under conviction of sin?' i thought he cussed out the church more than anybody in colleagues meek though elmer had been under instruction by jim and threats by eddy and yearnings by his mother he was not normally given to humility and he looked at his critics defiantly i'll show em if they think i'm going to sneak in he swaggered down almost to the front pews to the joy of his mother who had been afraid that as usual he would hide in the rear handy to the door if the preacher should become personal

Starting point is 01:53:35 there was a great deal of decoration in the church which had been endowed by a zealous alumnist after making his strike in alaskan boarding-houses during the gold rush There were Egyptian pillars with gilded capitals. On the ceiling were gilt stars and clouds more woolen than woolly, and the walls were painted cheerily in three strata, green, watery blue, and khaki. It was an echoing and gaping church, and presently it was packed, the aisles full. Professors with stringed mustaches and dog-eared bibles, men students in sweaters or flannel shirts, earnest young women students in homemade muslin with modest ribbons,

Starting point is 01:54:20 over-smiling old megs of the town, venerable saints from the backcountry with beards which partly hid the fact that they wore colors without ties. Old women with billowing shoulders, irritated young married couples, with broods of babies who crawled, slid, bellowed, and stared with embarrassing wonder at bachelors. Five minutes later, Elmer would not have had a seat down front.

Starting point is 01:54:48 Now he could not escape. He was packed in between his mother and a wheezing fat man, and in the aisle beside his pew stood evangelical tailors and ardent schoolteachers. The congregation swung into, when the roll is called up younger, and Elmer gave up his frenzied but impractical plans for escape. His mother nested happily beside him, her hand proudly touching his sleeve, and he was stirred by the march in battle of the hymn, when the trumpet of the Lord shall sound, and time shall be no more,

Starting point is 01:55:29 and the morning breaks eternal, bright and fair. They stood for the singing of, shall we gather at the river? Elmer inarticulately began to feel his community, with these humble aspiring people his own prairie tribe this gaunt carpenter he gave a good fellow full of friendly greetings this farm-wife so courageous channelled by pioneer labor this classmate and admirable basketball player yet now chanting beatifically his head back his eyes closed his voice ringing elmer's own people Could he be traitor to them? Could he resist the current of their united belief and longing? Yes, we'll gather at the river, the beautiful, the beautiful river.

Starting point is 01:56:26 Gather with the saints at the river that flows by the throne of God. Could he endure to be away from them, in the chill void of Jim, efforts rationalizing on that day when they would be rejoicing in the warm morning sunshine by the river rolling to the imperishable throne. And his voice, he had merely muttered the words of the first hymn, boomed out ungrudgingly, soon our pilgrimage will cease, soon our happy hearts will quiver with the melody of peace. His mother stroked his sleeve. He remembered that she had maintained he was the best singer she had ever heard.

Starting point is 01:57:19 That Jim Lefferts had admitted, he certainly can make that hymn dope sound as if it meant something. He noted that people nearby looked about with pleasure when they heard his, Big Ben, dominate the cracked jangling. The preliminaries merely warmed up the audience for Judson Robert. O Judd was in form. He laughed, he shouted, he knelt and wept with real tears.

Starting point is 01:57:48 He loved everybody. He raced down into the audience and patted shoulders, and for the moment everybody felt that he was closer to them than their closest friends. Rejoiceth as a strong man to run a race was his text. Roberts was equally a competent athlete, and he really had skill in invoking pictures. He described the Chicago-Michigan game, and Elmer was lost in him.

Starting point is 01:58:19 With him lived the moments of the scrimmage, the long run with the ball, the bleachers rising to him. Robert Royce suffered. He was pleading. He was not talking, he said, to weak men who needed coddling into the kingdom, but to strong men,

Starting point is 01:58:38 to rejoicing men. men, two men brave in armor. There was another sort of race more accelerating than any game, and it led not merely, on a big board, but to make it of a new world. It led not to newspaper paragraphs, but to glory eternal. Dangerous, calling for strong men, ecstatic, brimming with thrills. The team, captained by Christ! No timid Jesus did he preach.

Starting point is 01:59:09 but the adventurer who had joy to associate with common men, with reckless fishermen, with captains and moors, who had dared to face the soldiers in the garden? Who had dared the Mermedons of Rome, and death itself? Come! Who was gallic? Who had the nerve? Who longed to live abundantly?

Starting point is 01:59:34 Let them come. They must confess their sins. They must repent. know their own weakness, save as they were reborn in Christ. But they must confess not in heaven-pilfering weakness, but in training for the battle under the wind-torn bannels of the mighty captain. Who would come? Who would come?

Starting point is 02:00:00 Who was for vision and the great adventure? He was among them, Judson Roberts, with his arms held out, his voice of bugle. Young men sobbed and knelt. A woman shrieked. People were elbowing the standards in the aisles and pushing forward to kneel in agonized happiness, and suddenly they were setting relentlessly

Starting point is 02:00:24 on a bewildered Elmer Gantry, who had been betrayed into forgetting himself, into longing to be one with Judson Roberts. His mother was ringing his hand begging, "'Oh, won't you come? "'Won you make your old mother happy? "'Let yourself know the joy of surrender to Jesus.' "'She was weeping, old eyes puckered,

Starting point is 02:00:50 "'and in her weeping was his every recollection of winter dawns "'when she had let him stay in bed "'and brought porridge to him across the icy floor. "'Winter evenings, when he had awakened to find her still stitching, and that confusing, intimidating hour in the abyss of his first memories when he had seen her shaken beside a coffin

Starting point is 02:01:15 that contained a cold monster in the shape of his father. The basketball player was patting his other arm begging, Dear old Hellcat, you've never let yourself be happy. You've been lonely.

Starting point is 02:01:34 Let yourself be happy with us. You know I'm no Mollicotter? Won't you know the happiness of salvation with us? A thread-thin old man, very dignified, a man with secret eyes that had known battles and mountain valleys was holding out his hands to Elmer, imploring with a humility utterly disconcerting. Oh, come, come with us. Don't stand there making Jesus big and big.

Starting point is 02:02:05 Don't leave the crass that died for us standing out in the cold begging. And somehow, flashing through the crowd, Judson Roberts was with Elmer, honoring him beyond all the multitude, appealing for his friendship. Judson Roberts, the gorgeous beseeching, Are you going to hurt me, Elmer? Are you going to let me go away miserable and, And beaten, old man? Are you going to betray me like Judas?

Starting point is 02:02:39 When I have offered you my Jesus As the most precious gift I can bring you? Are you going to slap me and defile me and hurt me? Come. Think of the joy of being rid of all those nasty little sins That you've felt so shamed of. Won't you come? Kneel with me.

Starting point is 02:03:02 Won't you? His mother shrieked "'Won't you, Elmer, with him and me, won't you make us happy? Won't you be big enough not to be afraid? See how we're all longing for you, praying for you?' "'Yes,' from around him, from strangers, "'help me to follow you, brother.

Starting point is 02:03:22 I'll go if you will.' Voices woven thick, dove white and terrifying black of mourning and lightning-colored flung around him, blinding him. His mother's pleading, Judson Roberts' tribute. An instant, he saw Jim Leffertz, and heard him insist,

Starting point is 02:03:45 "'Why, sure, of course, they believe it. They hypnotize himself, but don't let him hypnotize you.' He saw Jim's eyes that for him alone veiled their bright harshness and became lonely, asking for comradeship. He struggled with all the blubbering confusion of a small boy set on by his elders, frightened and overwhelmed.

Starting point is 02:04:11 He longed to be honest, to be true to Jim, to be true to himself and his own good, honest sins, and whatsoever penalties they might carry. Then the visions were all driven away by voices that closed over him like the surf. above an exhausted swimmer volitionless marvelling at the sight of himself as a pinioned giant he was being urged forward forced forward his mother on one arm and judson on the other a rhapsodic mob following bewildered miserable false to jim but as he came to the row kneeling in front of the first pew he had a thought that made everything all right yes he could have both he could keep judson and his mother yet retain jim's respect He had only to bring Jim also to Jesus.

Starting point is 02:05:13 Then all of them would be together in beatitude. Freed from misery by that revelation, he knelt, and suddenly his voice was noisy in confession, while the shouts of the audience, the ejaculations of Judson and his mother exalted him to hot self-approval, and made it seem splendidly right to yield to the mystic fervor.

Starting point is 02:05:37 He had but little to do, with what he said. The willing was not his but the mobs. The phrases were not his, but those of the emotional preachers and hysterical worshippers whom he had heard since babyhood. Quote, O God, oh, I have sin. My sins are heavy on me. I am unworthy of compassion. Oh, Jesus intercede for me. Oh, let thy blood that was shed for me be my salvation. Oh, God, I do truly repent. of my great sinning, and I do long for the everlasting peace of thy bosom." "'Cose quote. "'Oh, praise God from the multitude, and praise His holy name.

Starting point is 02:06:22 "'Thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God. "'Oh, hallelujah, brother, thank the dear loving God.' "'He was certain that he would never again want to guzzle, "'to follow loose women, to blaspheme. "'He knew the rapture of salvation, Yes, and of being the center of interests in the crowd. Others about him were beating their foreheads. Others were shrieking, Lord, be merciful!

Starting point is 02:06:52 And one woman, he remembered her as a strange repressed, mad-eyed special student who was not known to have any friends, was stretched out, a place to the crowd jerking, her limbs twitching, her hands clenched, panting rhythmically. But it was Elmer, the tallest of the converts, tall as Judson Roberts, whom all the students, and most of the town people found important, who found himself important. His mother was crying, Oh, this is the happiest hour of my life, dear, this makes up for everything. To be able to give her such delight.

Starting point is 02:07:34 Jetson was clawing, Elmer's hand, whooping, like to head you on the team at Chicago. but I'm a lot wider to have you with me on Christ's team. If you knew how proud I am. To be thus linked forever with Judson. Elmer's embarrassment was gliding into a robust self-satisfaction. Then the others were crowded on him, shaking his hand, congratulating him. The football center, the Latin professor, the town grocer, "'President quarrels, his chin-whisker, vibrant and his shaving upper lip, wriggling from side to side, was insisting,

Starting point is 02:08:17 "'Come, brother Elmer, stand up on the platform and say a few words to us. "'You must. We all need it. We're thrilled by your splendid example.' "'Illmer was not quite sure how he got through the converts up to the steps to the platform. he suspected afterward that Judson Roberts had done a good deal of trained pushing. He looked down, something of his panic returning, but they were sobbing with affection for him. The Elmer Cantry, who had for years, pretended that he really defined the whole college, had for those same years desired popularity.

Starting point is 02:08:59 He had it now. Popularity, almost love, almost reverence, overpoweringly his role as leading man. He was stirred to more flamboyant confession. Oh, for the first time, I know the peace of God. Nothing I have ever done has been right, because it didn't lead to the way and the truth. Here I thought I was a good church member,

Starting point is 02:09:28 but all the time I hadn't seen the real life. I'd never been willing to kneel down and confess me, myself a miserable sinner. But I'm kneeling now, and oh, the blessedness of humility. He wasn't to be quite accurate, kneeling at all. He was standing up very tall and broad, waving his hands, and though what he was experiencing may have been the blessedness of humility, it sounded like his announcements of an ability to lick anybody in any given saloon. But he was greeted with flaming hallelujahs, and he shouted on till he was rapturous and very sweaty. Come, come on to him now.

Starting point is 02:10:17 It was funny that I who have been such a great sinner could dare to give you his invitation. But he's almighty and shall prevail, and he giveth his sweet tidies through the mouths of babes and sucklings and the most unworthy, and lo! the strong shall be confounded and the weak exalted in his sight. It was all the myth reic phrasing, as familiar as good morning or how are you, to the audience, yet he must have put new violence into it, for instead of smiling at the recency of his ardour, looked at him gravely, and suddenly a miracle was beheld.

Starting point is 02:11:02 Ten minutes after his own experience, Elmer made his first conversion. A pimply youth, long known as a pool-roomed hout, leaped up, his greasy face-working, shrieked, oh, God, forgive me! But in frenzy through the crowd, ran to the mourners bench, lay with his mouth, frothing in convulsion. Then the hallelujahs rose till the drowned Elmer's accelerated, pleading. Then Judson Robert stood with his arm about Elmer,

Starting point is 02:11:34 Then Elmer's shoulders. Then Elmer's mother knelt with a light of paradise on her face, and they closed the meeting with a manic peeling of, Draw me near, blessed Lord, to thy precious bleeding side. Elmer felt himself victorious over life and king of righteousness, but it had been only the devoted the people who had come early and taken front seats, of whom he had been conscious in his transports. The students who had remained at the back of the church now were ordered outside the door in murmurous knots, and as Elmer and his mother passed them, they stared. They even chuckled, and he was suddenly cold. It was hard to give heed to his mother's

Starting point is 02:12:24 wails of joy all the way to her boarding house. Now don't you dare think of getting up early to see me off on the train, she insisted. All I have to do is just carry my little valise across the street. You'll need your sleep after all the stirring up you've had tonight. I was so proud. I've never known anybody to really rustle with the Lord like you did. Oh, Elmy, you'll stay true. You've made your old mother so happy. All my life I've sorrowed. I've waited. I've prayed and now I've sent ever sorrow again. Oh, will you stay true? He threw the last of his emotional reserve into a ringing, You bet I will, Ma, and kissed her good night. He had no emotion left, with which two-face walking alone in a cold and realistic night, down a street not of shining columns, but of

Starting point is 02:13:24 cottages, dumpy amid the bleak snow and unfriendly under the bitter stars. his plan of saving jim lefferts his vision of jim with reverent and beatific eyes turned to a vision of jim with extremely irate eyes and a lot to say with that vanishment his own glory vanished was i he wondered just a plain damn fool jim to warn me they hadn't had me if i lost my head now i suppose i can't ever even smoke again without going to hail. But he wanted a smoke right now. He had a smoke. It comforted him.

Starting point is 02:14:11 But little as he fretted on, there wasn't any fake about it. I really did repent all those darn fool sins, even smoking. I'm going to cut it out. I did feel the peace of God.

Starting point is 02:14:25 But can I keep up this speed? Christ, I can't do it. "'Never take a drink or anything? "'I wonder if the Holy Ghost really was there and getting after me. "'I did feel different. "'I did. "'Or was it just because Jutson and Ma' and all those Christers there were whooping it up?' "'Jud Roberts kidded me into it, with all his big brother's stuff,

Starting point is 02:14:53 "'probably pulls it everywhere he goes. "'Jim will claim I—oh, damn, Jim, too. I got some rights. None of this business, if I come out and do the fair square thing. And they did look up to me when I gave them the invitation. It went all fine and dandy. And that kid coming right up and getting saved, mighty few fellas ever pull off the conversion as soon after their own conversion as I did. Moody or none of them.

Starting point is 02:15:25 I bet it bust the record. Yes, sir. Maybe they're right. Maybe the Lord has got some great use for me, even if I ain't always been all I might have been. Some ways, but I was never mean or tough or anything like that, just had a good time. Now, Jim, what rights he got telling me where I head in? Trouble with him is he thinks he knows it all. I guess these wise old coots that have written all these books about the Bible, I guess they

Starting point is 02:16:00 know more than one smart alley Kansas agnostic? Yes, sir. The whole crowd turned to me like I was an All-American preacher. Wouldn't be so bad to be a preacher if you had a big church and a lot easier than digging out law cases

Starting point is 02:16:16 and having to put it over a jury and another lawyer may be smarter than you are. The crowd have to swallow what you tell them in a pulpit and no back talk or cross-examination allowed. For a second he snickered, but

Starting point is 02:16:32 Not nice to talk that way, Even if a fellow don't do what's right himself, No excuse for him sneering at fellows that do, like preachers. That's where Jim makes his mistake. Not worthy to be a preacher, But if Jim lever's things for one single solitary second That I'm afraid to be a preacher, Because he pulls a lot aguff,

Starting point is 02:16:58 i guess i know how i felt when i stood up and had all them folks hollering and rejoicing i guess i know whether i experienced salvation or not and i don't require any james blaine lefferts to tell me neither thus for an hour of dizzy tramping now colder with a doubt than with the prairie wind now winning back some of the exultation of a spiritual adventure but always knowing that he had to confess to an inexorable gem end of chapter three part three chapter three of elmer gantry Parts 4 to 8 This is a Libravox recording, and all Libravox recordings are in the public domain. For more information, or to volunteer, please visit Libravox.org. Read by William Jones, Vanita Springs, Florida. Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis.

Starting point is 02:18:05 Part 4 It was after one. Surely Jim would be asleep, and by next day there might be a miracle. morning always promises miracles he eased the door open holding it with a restraining hand there was a light on the wash-band beside jim's bed but it was a small kerosene lamp turned low he tiptoed in his tremendous feet squeaking jim suddenly set up turned up the wick he was red-nosed red-eyed and coughing he stared and unethed and unmoved he stared and unmoved and he stared and unmoved and, moving by the table, Elmer stared back. Jim spoke abruptly, you son of a sea-cock. You've gone and done it. You've been saved. You let them horn swallow you into being a Baptist witch-doctor.

Starting point is 02:19:00 I'm through. You can go to heaven. Oh, say now, Jim, listen. I've listened enough. I've got nothing more to say, and now you listen to me, said Jim, and he spoke with tongues for three minutes straight. Most of the night they struggled for the freedom of Elmer's soul, with Jim not quite losing, yet never winning. As Jim's face had hovered over the gospel meeting between him and the evangelist, blotting out the vision of the cross, so now the faces of his mother and Judson hung sorrowful, and misty before him, a veil across Jim's pleading. Elmer slept four hours and went out, staggering with weariness, to bring cinnamon buns, a weeny sandwich, and a tin pail of coffee for Jim's breakfast.

Starting point is 02:19:57 They were laboring wendily into new arguments, him a little more stubborn, Elmer ever more irritable, when no less a dignitary than President, the Reverend Dr. Willoughby, Chin-whiskers, glacial shirt, bulbous waistcoat, and all, plunged in under the fat, soft wing of the landlady. The president shook hands a number of times with everybody. He eyebrowsed the landlady out of the room and boomed in his throaty pulpit voice, with belly rumblings and long-grown R's and ls,

Starting point is 02:20:34 a voice very deep and alish, most holy and fitting to the temple which he created merely by his presence, rebuking to flippancy and chuckles, the imperial cynicism of the Jim Leffertes, a noise somewhere between the evening bells and the morning jackass. Oh, brother Elmer, that was a brave thing you did. I have never seen a braver.

Starting point is 02:21:01 For a great strong man of your gladiatorial powers to not be afraid to humble himself. And your example will do a great deal, deal of good, a great deal of good. And we must watch and hold it. You are to speak at the YMCA tonight, special meeting to reinforce the results of our wonderful prayer week.

Starting point is 02:21:25 Oh gee, President, I can't, Elmer groaned. Oh, yes, brother, you must. You must. It's already announced. If you'll go out within the next hour, you'll be gratified to say poster, announcing it all over the town. But I can't make a speech.

Starting point is 02:21:45 The Lord will give you the words if you give the goodwill. I myself shall call for you at a quarter to seven. God bless you. And he was gone. Elmer was completely frightened, completely unwilling, and swollen with delight that after long dark hours when Jim, an undergraduate, had used him dirtily and thwarty,

Starting point is 02:22:09 thrown the claws at his intellect, the president of Terwilliger College should have welcomed him to that starsh bosom as a fellow apostle. While Elmer was making up his mind to do what he had made of his mind to do, Jim crawled into bed and addressed the Lord in a low, poisonous tone. Elmer went out to see the postures. His name was in lovely, large letters. For an hour late in the afternoon after various classes in which everyone looked at him respectfully, Elmer tried to prepare his address for the YMCA

Starting point is 02:22:49 and affiliated lady-worshippers. Jim was sleeping with a snore like the snarl of a leopard. In his class in public speaking, a course designed to create Congress, bishops and sales managers, Elmer had had to produce discourses on taxation, the purpose of God in history, our friend the dog, and the glory of the American Constitution. But his monthly orations had not been too arduous. No one had grieved if he stole all his ideas and most of his phrasing from the encyclopedia. The most important part of preparation

Starting point is 02:23:32 had been the lubrication of his polished mahogany voice with throat lozenges after rather steady and totally forbidden smoking. He had learned nothing except the placing of his voice. It had never seemed momentous to impress the 19 students of oratory and the instructor, an unordained licensed preacher who had formerly been a tax assessor in Oklahoma. he had, in public speaking, never been a failure nor ever for one second interesting. Now, sweating very much, he perceived that he was expected to think, to articulate the curious desires whereby Elmer Gantry was slightly different from any other human

Starting point is 02:24:19 being, and to rivet together opinions which would not be floated on any tide of hallelujah. He tried to remember the sermons he had heard, but the preachers had been so easily convinced of their authority as prelates, so frightened with ponderous messages, while he himself, he was not at the moment certain whether he was a missionary who had to pass his surprising new light onto the multitude, or just a sinner who? Just a sinner!

Starting point is 02:24:51 For keeps, nothing else, damned if he had well shone old Jim. No, sir, nor well as on Juanita, who had stood for him and merely kidded him no matter how soused and rough and mouthy he might be. Her hug. The way she'd get rid of that Batinsky aunt of Nails, just to wink in him and give Auntie some song and dance or other and sent her out for Chow. God, if Juanita were only here, she'd give him the real dope. She'd advise him whether he ought to sell practical.

Starting point is 02:25:25 and the YM to go to hell, or grab this chance to show Eddie Fizzlinger and all those YM highbrows that he wasn't such a bonehead, oh no. Here Pregsy had said he was the whole cheese, gotten up to a big meeting for him, Pregsy quarrels and Wainita, Abernete, never get them two together. And Pregsy had called in, suppose it got to the newspaper. Oh, he had saved a tough kid just as good as Justin Roberts could do. Juanita, find skirts like her anyplace, but where would they find a guy that could start in and save souls right off the bat? Chuck all these fool thoughts.

Starting point is 02:26:14 Now the gym was asleep and figured out his spiel. What was that about sweating in the vineyard? Much they might rub it in, and no ginket ever had a worse time with that sneaking Eddie, poking him on one side, and Jim lambasting him on the other. Whatever happened, he had to show those yahoo's that he could do just as good. Hell, this wasn't buying the baby any shoes, this wasn't getting his spiel done, but what was the doggone thing to be about? Let's see now.

Starting point is 02:26:56 Gee, there was a bully thought. Tell him about his strong husky guy. The huskier he was, the more he could afford to admit that the power of the Holy Ghost had laid him out cold. No, hell, must have something new. Well, kind of new, anyway. He couldn't yell, hell, cut it out, "'Say converted, no matter how hard it was.

Starting point is 02:27:23 "'He wasn't afraid of Jim and old Jud. "'They were husky enough to—' "'No, sir. "'It wasn't old Judd. "'It was his mother. "'What did she think if she never saw him with Juanita?' "'Wanita, that sloppy brat, no modesty. "'Had to get down to brass tacks now.'

Starting point is 02:27:46 "'Elmer grasped the edge of his work-table, The top cracked, his strength pleased him. He put up his dingy red sweater, smoothed his huge biceps, and again tackled his apostolic labors. Let's see now. The fellows at the Y would expect him to say, I've had it. Nobody ever mounted to a darn, except as, what was it, as the inscrutable designs of Providence intended him to be.

Starting point is 02:28:19 Elmer was very busy, making vast and unformed scrolls in the ten-cent notebook hitherto devoted to German. He darted up, looking scholarly, and gathered his library about him. His Bible, given to him by his mother, his New Testament given by a Sunday school teacher, his textbooks in weekly Bible and church history, and one-fourteenth of a fourteen-volume set of great orations of the world, which, in a rare and alcoholic moment of bibliomania, he had purchased in Cato for 17 cents. He piled them and repiled them and tapped them with his fountain-pin.

Starting point is 02:29:05 His original stimulus had run out entirely. Well, he'd get help from the Bible. It was all inspired, every word, no matter what scoffers like Jim said, he'd take the first text he turned to and talk on that. He opened on, Now, therefore, Tath Nye, Governor beyond the river,

Starting point is 02:29:26 Shestar bonsai, and your companions, the aphorisites, which are now beyond the river, be ye far from thince, an injunction spirited, but not at present helpful. He returned to pulling his luxuriant hair and scratching,

Starting point is 02:29:43 "'Golly, must be something. "'The only way of putting it all over life "'was to understand those forces "'that the scientists, with their laboratories and everything, "'couldn't, savvy. "'Put to a real Christian, "'they were just as easy as rolling off a log. "'No, he hadn't taken any lab courses except chemistry one,

Starting point is 02:30:06 "'so he couldn't know where all these physicists "'and biologists were boobs. Elmer forlornly began to cross out the lovely scrolls he had made in his notebook. He was irritably conscious that Jim was awake and scoffing. Having quite a time being holy and informative, hellcat? Why don't you pinch your first simmon from the heathen? You won't be the first up-and-coming young Messiah to do it? Jim shied a thin book at him and sank again into infidel sleep.

Starting point is 02:30:41 Elmer picked up the book. It was a selection from the writings of Robert G. Ingersoll. Elmer was indignant. Take his speech from Ingersoll, that rotten old atheist that said, well, anyway, he criticized the Bible and everything. Fellow that couldn't believe the Bible, least he could do was not disturb the faith of others.

Starting point is 02:31:05 Darn rotten thing to do. Fat nerve of Jim to suggest he's pinching anything, from Ingersoll, he'd throw the book in the fire. But anything was better than going on straining his brain. He forgot his woes by drugging himself with heedless reading. He drowsed through page on page of Ingersoll's rhetoric and jesting. Suddenly, he set up, looked suspiciously over at the silence gym, and looked suspiciously at heaven.

Starting point is 02:31:40 He grunted, hesitated, and began rapidly to copy into the German book book from Ingersoll. Love is the only bow on life's dark cloud. It is the morning and the evening star. It shines upon the cradle of the babe, and it sheds its radiance upon the silent tomb. It is the mother of art, inspirer of poet, patriot and philosopher. It is the air and light of every heart, builder of every home, kinder than every fire on every hearth. It was the first to dream of immortality. It fills the world with melody, for music is the voice of love. Love is the magician, the enchanter, that changes worthless things to joy, and makes right royal kings and queens of common clay. It is the perfume of the wondrous flower,

Starting point is 02:32:41 the heart. And without that sacred passion, that divine swoon, we are less than beasts. But with it, earth is heaven, and we are gods. Only for a moment

Starting point is 02:32:55 while he was copying did he look doubtful. Then, rats. Chances are nobody here tonight has ever read Ingers again him. him. Besides, I'll kind of change it around. Part 5. When President Quarles called for him, Elmer's exhortation was outlined, but he had changed to his Sunday best blue serge, double-breasted suit, and sleeked his

Starting point is 02:33:24 hair. As I departed, Jim called Elmer back from the hall to whisper, "'Say, Hellcat, you won't forget to give credit to Inglesall and to me for tipping you off, will you?' "'You go to hell,' said Elm. "'Part Six. There was a sizable and extremely curious gathering at the YMCA all day the campus had debated. Did Hellcat really, sure enough, get saved? Is he going to cut out his hell-raising?'

Starting point is 02:33:57 Every man he knew was present, their gaping mouths dripping, question marks, grinning or downgo, their leers confused him and he was angry, had been introduced by Eddie Fizzlinger, president of the YMCA. He started coldly, stammering, but Ingersoll had provided the beginning of his discourse, and he warmed to give the splendor of his own voice. He saw the audience in the curving YMCA auditorium as a radiant cloud, and he began to boom confidently. He began to add to his outline impressive ideas which were altogether his own, except perhaps as he had heard them 30 or 40 times in serenance.

Starting point is 02:34:46 It sounded very well, considering. Certainly it compared well with the average mystical rhapsody of the pulpit. For all his slang, his cursing, his mauled plurals and singulars, Elmer had been compelled in college to read certain books, to hear certain lectures, all filled with flushed, florid polysyllables, with juicy sentiments about God, sunset, immoral improvement inherent in a daily view of the mountain scenery, angels, fishing for souls, fishing for fish,

Starting point is 02:35:21 Ideals, patriotism, democracy, purity, the error of providence in creating the female leg, courage, humility, justice, the agricultural methods of the Palestine, circa 4 AD, the beauty of domesticity, and the preacher's salaries. These blossoming words, these organ-like phrases, these profound notions had been rammed home till they stuck in his brain ready for use. but even to the schoolboy, worried faculty, who had done the ramming,

Starting point is 02:35:59 who ought to have seen the sources? It was still astonishing that after four years of brunting, Elmer Gantry should come out with these flourishes, which they took perfectly seriously, for they themselves had been nurtured in minute Baptist and Campbellite colleges. Not one of them considered that there could be anything comic

Starting point is 02:36:22 in the spectacle of a large young man divinely fitted for cool heaving, standing up and wallowing in thick, slippery words about love and the soul. They sat, young instructors not long from the farm, professors pale from years of napping in unaired pastoral studies, and looked at Elmer respectfully as he throbbed. It's awful hard for a fellow that's more used to bucking the line than talking publicly to express how he means. But sometimes, I guess maybe you should think about a lot of things,

Starting point is 02:37:00 even if you don't always express how you mean. And I want to, what I want to talk about is how if a fella looks down deep into things and is really square with God, and lets God fill his heart with higher aspirations, he sees that love is the one thing that can really, sure enough, lighten all of life's dark clouds. Yes, sir, just love. It's the morning and evening star.

Starting point is 02:37:30 It's even in the quiet tomb. I mean those that are around the quiet tomb, you find it even there. What is it that inspires all great men, all poets and patriots and philosophers? It's love, isn't it? What gave the world its first evidences of immortality? Love!

Starting point is 02:37:50 It fills the world with melody For what is music? What is music? What music is the voice of love? The great President Quarles leaned back And put on his spectacles Which gave a slight appearance Of learning to his chin-whiskered countenance

Starting point is 02:38:10 Otherwise, that of a small-town banker in 1850 He was the center of a row of a dozen initiates on the platform of the YMCA Auditorium, a shallow platform under a plaster half dome. The wall behind them was thick with diagrams, rather like anatomical charts, showing the winning of souls in Egypt, the amount spent on whiskey versus the amount spent on hymn books,

Starting point is 02:38:41 and the illustrated progress of a pilgrim from unclean speech through cigarette smoking and beer saloons to a lively situation, in which he beat his wife, who seemed to dislike it. Above was a large and enlightening motto, Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. The whole place had that damp straw odor characteristic of places of worship, but President Quarles did not, seemingly, suffer in it. All his life, he had lived in tabernacles and in rooms,

Starting point is 02:39:18 devoted to thin church periodicals and thick volumes of sermons. He had a slight constant snuffle, but his organism was apparently adapted now to existing without air. He beamed and rubbed his hands and looked with devout joy on Elmer's long, broad back, as Elmer snapped into it, ever sure of himself, as he bellowed at the audience, beating them, breaking through their interference, making a touchdown. What is it makes us different from the animals? The passion of love. Without it we are, in fact, we are nothing.

Starting point is 02:40:00 With it, earth is heaven, and we are, I mean to some extent, like God himself. Now that's what I wanted to explain about love, and here's how it applies. Probably, there's a whole lot of you like myself. Oh, I've been doing it. I'm not going to spare myself. I've been going along thinking I was too good, too big, too smart for divine love of the Savior. Say, you know, you ever stop to think how much you're handling yourself when you figure you can get along without divine intercession? Say, I suppose probably you're bigger than Moses, bigger than St. Paul,

Starting point is 02:40:40 bigger than Pasteur, that great scientist. President Quarles was exulting. It was a genuine conversion. But more than that, here's a true discovery. My discovery. Elmer is a born preacher once he lets himself go, and I can make him do it. O Lord, how mysterious are thy ways.

Starting point is 02:41:04 Thou hast chosen to change our young brother, not so much in prayer as in the mighty struggle for the Olympic field. "'I, thou, Lord, has produced a born preacher. "'Someday he'll be one of our leading prophets.' The audience clapped when Elmer hammered out his conclusion. "'And you, freshmen, will save a lot of the time that I wasted "'if you see right now, that until you know God, you know just nothing.' They clapped.

Starting point is 02:41:40 They made their faces to shine upon him. Eddie Fizzlinger won him by sighing, Old fella, you got me beat at my own game like you have at your own game. There is much handshaking. None of it was more ardent than that of his recent enemy, the Latin professor, who breathed, Where did you get all those fine ideas and metaphors about the divine love, Gantry? Oh, modestly, I can't hardly call him mine, Professor.

Starting point is 02:42:12 I just got them by praying. Part 7. Jetson Roberts. Ex-football star, state secretary of the YMCA, was on the train to Concordia, Kansas. In the vestibule, he had three puffs of an illegal cigarette and crushed it out. No, really, it wasn't so bad for him that Elmer Watts's name to get converted. Suppose there isn't anything to it. won't hurt him to cut out some of his bad habits for a while, anyway.

Starting point is 02:42:47 And how do we know? Maybe the Holy Ghost does come down. No more improbable than the electricity. I do wish I could get over this doubting. I forget it when I've got him going with evangelistic meeting, but when I watch a big butcher like him with that damn silly smirk on his jowls, I believe I'll go into the real estate business. I don't think I'm hurting these young fellas any,

Starting point is 02:43:14 but I do wish I could be honest. Oh, Lordy, Lordy, Lordy, I wish I had a good job selling real estate. Part 8 Elmer walked home firmly. Just what right, as Mr. James B. Leffertz got to tell me I mustn't use my ability to get a crowd going. And I certainly had him going.

Starting point is 02:43:39 I never knew I could spiel like that. Easy as feet ball. And Pregsy's saying I was a boring preacher, huh? Firmly and resentfully, he came into their room and slammed down his hat. It awoke Jim. How did it go over? Hand him out the gospel stuff? Did.

Starting point is 02:44:00 Elmer trumpeted. It went over as you put it. Quarkin. He got any objections. He lighted the largest lamp and turned it up full. is back to Jim. No answer. When he looked about, Jim seemed to sleep.

Starting point is 02:44:15 At seven next morning, he said forgivingly, rather patronizingly, I'll be gone till ten. Bring you back some breakfast? Jim answered. No, thanks. Those were his only words that morning. When Elmer came in at 10.30, Jim was gone. His possession's gone.

Starting point is 02:44:38 It was no great. moving three suitcases of clothes and an armful of books, there was a note on the table. I shall live at the college end the rest of the year. You can probably get Eddie Fizzlinger to live with you. You would enjoy that. It has been stimulating to watch you try to be an honest roughneck, but I think he would be almost too stimulating to watch you become a spiritual leader. Signed J.B.L. All of Elmer's raging did not make the room seem less lonely. End of Section 5.

Starting point is 02:45:19 Section 6 of Elmer Gantry. This is a Libravox recording. All Libravox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Libravox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 6, Chapter 4, Part 1. "'President Quarles urged him. "'Elmer would perhaps affect the whole world

Starting point is 02:45:47 "'if he became a minister. "'What glory for old Terwilliger "'and all the shrines of Gritzmacher Springs!' "'Eddy Fizzlinger urged him. "'Germony, you'd go way beyond me, "'I can see you president of the Baptist Convention.' "'Elmer still did not like Eddie, "'but he was making much now

Starting point is 02:46:10 of ignoring Jim Lefferts. They met on the street and bowed ferociously, and he had to have someone to play valet to his virtues. The ex-minister, dean of the college, urged him. Where would Elmer find a profession with a better social position than the ministry? Thousands listening to him invited to banquets and everything. So much easier than, well, not exactly. easier. All ministers worked arduously. Great sacrifices, constant demands on their sympathy,

Starting point is 02:46:47 heroic struggle against vice. But same time, elegant and superior work, surrounded by books, high thoughts, and the finest ladies in the city or country, as the case might be. And cheaper professional training than law, with scholarships and outside preaching, Elmer could get through the three years of Mitzpah Theological Seminary on almost nothing a year. What other plans had he for a career? Nothing to Evanan? Why, look like divine intervention certainly did. Let's call it settled.

Starting point is 02:47:28 Perhaps he could get Elmer a scholarship the very first year. His mother urged him. She wrote daily and she was longing, praying and sobbing. Elmer urged himself. He had no prospects except the chance of reading law in the dingy office of a cousin in Toluca, Kansas.

Starting point is 02:47:52 The only things he had against the ministry, now that he was delivered from Jim, were the low salaries in the fact that if ministers were caught drinking or flirting, it was very often hard on them. The salaries weren't so bad. He'd go to the top, of course, and maybe make eight or ten thousand. But the diversions.

Starting point is 02:48:15 He thought about it so much he made a hasty trip to Cato and came back temporarily cured forever of any desire for wickedness. The greatest urge was his memory of holding his audience, playing on them, to move people. Golly, he wanted to be addressing somebody on something right now and being applauded. By this time he was so rehearsed in his role of candidate for righteousness that it didn't bother him,

Starting point is 02:48:46 so long as no snickering Jim was present, to use the most embarrassing theological and moral terms in the presence of Eddie or the President, and without one grin he rolled out dramatic speeches about the duty of every man to lead every other man to Christ. and the historic position of the Baptist as the one true scriptural church practicing immersion as taught by Christ himself. He was persuaded. He saw himself as a white-browed and star-eyed young evangel, wearing a new frock coat standing up in a pulpit and causing hundreds of beautiful women

Starting point is 02:49:31 to weep with conviction and rush down to clasp his hand. But there was one barrier extremely serious. They all informed him that select though he was as sacred material, before he decided he must have a mystic experience known as a call. God himself must appear and call him to service, and conscious though Elmer was now of his own powers and the excellence of the church, he saw no more of God about the place than in his worst days of unregeneracy. He asked the President and the Dean if they had had a call.

Starting point is 02:50:17 Oh, yes, certainly. But they were vague about the practical tips as how to invite a call and recognize it when it came. He was reluctant to ask Eddie. Eddie would be only too profuse with tips and want to kneel down and pray with him and generally be rather damp and excitable and messy. The call did not come, not for weeks, with Easter past and no decision as to what he was going to do next year.

Starting point is 02:50:51 Part 2 Spring on the Prairie, High Spring, lilacs masked the speckled brick and stucco of the college buildings. Spirea made a flashing wall, and from the Kansas fields came soft airs and the whistle of metal arcs. Students loafed at their windows, calling down to friends. They played catch on the campus. They went bareheaded and wrote a great deal of poetry, and the Terwilliger baseball team defeated Foglequist College.

Starting point is 02:51:24 Still, Elmer did not receive his defined call. By day, plain catch, kicking up his heels, belaboring his acquaintances, singing the happiest days that ever were, we knew it owed to Williger. On a fence fondly believed to resemble the Yale fence, or tramping by himself through the minute forest of cottonwood and willow by Tunker Creek, he expanded with the expanding years and new happiness. The knights were unadulterated, hell. He felt guilty that he had no call,

Starting point is 02:52:00 and he went to the precedent about it in mid-May. Dr. Quarles was thoughtful and denounced, Brother Elmer, the last thing I'd ever want to do, in fairness to the spirit of the ministry, would be to create an illusion of a call, where there was none present. That would be like the pagan hallucinations worked on the poor suffering followers,

Starting point is 02:52:24 of Roman Catholicism. Whatever else he may be, a Baptist preacher must be free from illusions. He must found his work and on good scientific facts, the proven facts of the Bible, and substitutionary atonement, which even programmatically we know to be true,

Starting point is 02:52:46 because it works. No, no, but at the same time, I feel sure the voice of God is calling you? If you can but hear it, and I want to help you lift the veil of worldiness which still no

Starting point is 02:53:02 doubt deafens your inner ear, will you come to my house tomorrow evening? We'll take the matter to the Lord in prayer. It was all rather dreadful that kindly spring evening, with a breeze fresh in the branches of the sycamores.

Starting point is 02:53:20 President Quarles had shut the windows and drawn the blinds in his living room, an apartment filled with crayon portraits of Baptist worthies, red plush chairs, and leaded glass unit bookcases, containing the lay writings of the more poetic clergy. The president had gathered as assistants in prayer, the more aged and fundamentalist ex-pastors of the faculty, and the more milky and elicutionary of the YMCA leaders. headed by Eddie Fislinger. When Elmer entered, they were on their knees,

Starting point is 02:53:59 their arms on the seats of reverse chairs, their heads bowed, all praying aloud and together. They looked up at him like an old woman surveying the bride. He wanted to bolt. Then the president nabbed him, and had him down on his knees, suffering and embarrassed and wondering what the devil to pray. about. They took turns at telling God what he ought to do in the case of our so ardently and earnestly

Starting point is 02:54:28 seeking brother. Now will you lift your voice in prayer, brother Elmer? Just let yourself go. Remember we're all with you, all loving and helping you, grated the president. They crowded near him. The president put his stiff old arm about Elmer's shoulder. It felt like a dry bone, and the president a smell of kerosene. Eddie crowded up on the other side and nuzzled against him. The others crept in, patting him. It was horribly hot in that room, and they were so close, he felt as if he were tied down in a hospital ward. He looked up and saw the long, shaven face, the thin, tight lips of a minister whom he was now to emulate. He prickled with horror. But he tried to pray, you wailed, oh, blessed Lord, help me to, help me to.

Starting point is 02:55:25 He had an enormous idea. He sprang up, he cried, say, I think the spirit is beginning to work, went out and took a short walk, and kind of prayed by myself. Well, you stayed here and prayed for me. It might help. I don't think that would be the way, began the president, but the most aged faculty members suggested, "'Maybe it's the Lord's guidance.

Starting point is 02:55:52 "'We hadn't ought to interfere with the Lord's guidance, Brother Quarrels?' "'Well, that's so, that's so,' the President announced. "'You have your walk, brother Elmer, and pray hard, "'and we will stay here and besiege the throne of grace for you.' "'Elmer blundered out into the fresh, clean air. "'Whatever happened he was never going back. how he hated their soft, crawly, wet hands. He had notices of catching the last train to Cato and getting solacingly drunk.

Starting point is 02:56:28 No, he'd lose his degree, just a month off now, and be cramped later in appearing as a real high-class college-educated lawyer. Lose it, then. Anything would go back to their crawling, creepy hands, they're aged breathing by his ear. He'd get old of somebody, and say he felt sick and sent him back to tell Pregsy and sneak off to bed. Sench! He just wouldn't get his call, just pass it up by Gemini, and not have to go into the ministry.

Starting point is 02:57:04 But to lose the chance to stand before thousands and stir them by telling them about divine love and the evening and the morning star, if he could just stand it till he got through the theological seminary and was on the job, and if any any fizzlinger tried to come into his study and breathed down his neck, throw him out, by golly. He was conscious that he was leaning against a tree, tearing down twigs, and that facing him under a street lamp was

Starting point is 02:57:35 Jim Lefferts. You look sick, hellcat, said Jim. Elmer strove for dignity, then broke with a moaning, oh, I am. What did I ever get into this religious fix for? What they doing to you? Never mind. Don't tell me. You need a drink. My God, I do. I got a quart of first-rate corn whiskey from a moonshiner. I've dug up out here in the country, and my room's right in this block. Come on along. Through his first street, Elmer was quiet, bewildered, vaguely leaning on the gym, who was

Starting point is 02:58:17 would guide him away from this horror. But he was out of practice and drinking. And the whiskey took hold with speed, and by the middle of the second glass, he was boasting of his ecclesiastical eloquence. He was permitting Jim to know that never in Treweigar College had there appeared so promising an orator, that right now they were there praying for him, waiting for him,

Starting point is 02:58:42 the president and wool outfit. But with a slight return of apology, I suppose probably you think maybe I hadn't ought to go back to him. Jim was standing by the open window saying slowly, No, I think now you'd better go back. I've got some peppermints. They'll fix your breath more or less. Goodbye, hell, cat.

Starting point is 02:59:10 He had one even over old Jim. He was a match, of the world and only a very little bit drop. He stepped out high and heavy. Everything was extremely beautiful. How high the trees were. What a wonderful drugstore window with all those glossy new magazine colors.

Starting point is 02:59:31 That distant piano was magic. What exquisite young women the coeds. What lovable and sturdy men the students. He was at peace with everything. What a really good fellow he was. "'He had lost all his meannesses. "'How kind he had been to that poor, lonely sinner Jim Lefferts. "'Others might despair of Jim's soul.

Starting point is 02:59:55 "'He never would. "'Poor old Jim! "'His room had looked terrible, "'that narrow little room with the cot, "'all in disorder, a pair of shoes "'and a corn-com pipe lying on a pile of books. "'Poor Jim! "'He'd forgive him.

Starting point is 03:00:12 "'Go around and clean up the room for him. Not that Elmer had ever cleaned up their former room. Gee, what a lovely spring night. How corking those old boys were prexy and everybody to give up an evening and pray for him. Why was it he felt so fine? Of course. The call had come. God had come to him, though just spiritually, not corporeally,

Starting point is 03:00:41 so far as he remembered, it had come. he could go ahead and rule the world. He dashed into the president's house. He shouted from the door erect, while they knelt and looked up at him, Mousily. It's come! I feel it in everything. God just opened my eyes and made me feel what a wonderful world it is,

Starting point is 03:01:04 and it was just like I could hear his voice, saying, don't you want to love everybody and help them be happy? Do you want to just go, along being selfish, or have you got a longing to? To help everybody. He stopped. They had listened silently with interested grunts of,

Starting point is 03:01:25 Amen, brother. Honest, it was awful impressive. Somehow something has made me feel so much better than when I went away from here. I'm sure it was a real call. Don't you think so, President? Oh, I'm sure of it, the President ejaculated. getting up hastily and rubbing his knees. I feel that all is right with our brother,

Starting point is 03:01:51 that he has now this sacred moment heard the voice of God, and is entering upon the highest calling in the sight of God, the President observed to the dean, don't you feel it so? God be praised, said the dean, and looked at his watch. Part three. On their way home, they too alone, the oldest faculty member, said to the dean, Yes, it was a fine, gratifying moment, and,

Starting point is 03:02:23 slightly surprising. I'd hardly thought that young Gantry would go on being content with the mild blisses of salvation. Curious smell of peppermint he had about him. Well, I suppose he stopped at the drugstore during his walk and had a soft drink of some kind? Don't know, brother, said the dean. But I approve of these soft drinks, innocent in themselves,

Starting point is 03:02:50 but they might lead to carelessness in beverages. A man who drinks ginger ale, how are you going to impress on him, the terrible danger of drinking ale? Yes, yes, said the oldest faculty member. He was 68 to the dean's boyish 60. "'Say, brother, how do you feel about young Gantry, about his entering the ministry?' "'I know you did well in the pulpit before you came here, as I more or less did myself,

Starting point is 03:03:23 but if you were a boy of twenty-one or two, do you think you had become a preacher now, the way things are?' "'Why, brother?' grieved the dean. "'Certainly I would. What a question! What would become of all our work at Terwilliger, all our ideals in opposition to the heathenest large universities, if the ministry weren't the highest ideal. I know, I know. I just wonder sometimes,

Starting point is 03:03:50 all the new vocations that are coming up, medicines, advertising, world just going it. I tell you, Dean, in another 40 years, by 1943, mean it will be up in the air in flying machines, going maybe a hundred miles, an hour. My dear fellow, if the Lord had meant men to fly, he'd have given us wings.

Starting point is 03:04:16 But there are the prophecies in the book. Well, those refer purely to spiritual and symbolic flying. No, no, never does to oppose the clear purpose of the Bible, and I could dig you out a hundred texts that show unquestionably that the Lord intends us to stay right here on till that day when we shall be upraised in the body with him. Uh-huh. Maybe. Well, there's my corner.

Starting point is 03:04:48 Good night, brother. The dean came into his house. It was a small house. How did it go? Asked his wife. Splendid. Young Gantry seemed to feel an unmistakable divine call. Something struck him that just uplifted.

Starting point is 03:05:08 him. He's got a lot of power. Only... The dean irritably sat down in a cane-seated rocker, jerked off his shoes, grunted, threw on his slippers. Okay, hang it. I simply can't get myself to like him. Emma, tell me, if I were his age now, do you think I'd go into the ministry as things are today? Why, Henry, what in the world ever, makes you say a thing like that.

Starting point is 03:05:40 Of course you would. Why, if that weren't the case, what would our whole lives mean? All we've given up and everything. Oh, I know. I just get to thinking, sometimes I wonder if we've given up so much. Don't hurt even a preacher to face himself.

Starting point is 03:05:59 After all, those two years when I was in the carpet business, before I went to the seminary, I didn't do very well. maybe I wouldn't have made any more than I do now. But if I could, suppose I could have been a great chemist. Wouldn't that, mind you I'm just speculating as a student of psychology, wouldn't that conceivably be better than year after year of students with the same confounded problems over and over again,

Starting point is 03:06:29 and always so pleased and surprised and important about them? Or year after year again of standing in the pulpit and knowing your congregation won't remember what you've said seven minutes after you've said it. Why, Henry, I don't know what's gotten into you. I think you better do a little praying yourself instead of picking on this poor young gantry. Neither you nor I could ever have been happy except in a Baptist church or a real cover-to-cover Baptist college. The dean's wife finished darning the towels and went up to say good-night to her parents. They had lived with her since her father's retirement at 75

Starting point is 03:07:10 From his country, pastorate. He had been a missionary in Missouri before the Civil War. Her lips had been moving, her eyebrows working as she darned the towels. Her eyebrows were still creased as she came into their room And shrieked at her father's deafness. Time to go to bed, Papa, and you, Mama! They were nodding on either side of a radio. radiator unheated for months.

Starting point is 03:07:39 All right, Emmy, piped the ancient. Part four. Say, Papa, tell me, I've been thinking, if you're just a young man today, would you go into the ministry? Of course I would. What an idea. Most glorious vacation a young man could have a idea. Good night, Emmy.

Starting point is 03:08:03 But as his ancient wife silently removed her corsets, she complained, don't know as you would or not. If I was married to you, which ain't any too certain a second time, and if I had anything to say about it, which is certain, don't be foolish, of course I would. I don't know. Fifty years I had of it, and I never did get so. I wasn't just mad clear through when the ladies at the church came poking around, criticizing me for tidy I put on their chairs, and cooking something terrible if I had a bonnet or a shawl that was the least might tasty. I wasn't suitable for minister's wife. Dratum! And I always did like a bonnet with some nice bright colors. Oh, I've done a right smart of thinking about it. You always were a powerful preacher, but I've told you, you have. I never could make out how. If when you were in the pulpit, you really knew so much about all those high and mighty mysterious things. how it was when you got home you never knew enough,

Starting point is 03:09:10 and you never could learn enough to find the hammer, or to make a nice piece of cornbread, or add up a column of figures twice alike, or find Omer Amorgao on the map of Austria. Germany, woman, I'm sleepy, and all these years having to pretend to be so good when we were just common folk all the time. Ain't you glad you can just be simple folks now?

Starting point is 03:09:37 Well, maybe it is restful, but that's not saying I wouldn't do it over again. The old men ruminated a long while. I think I would. Anyway, no use discouraging these young people from entering the ministry. Somebody got to preach the gospel truth, ain't they? I suppose so. Oh, dear, 50 years since I married a preacher, and if I could still only be sure about the virgin birth.

Starting point is 03:10:04 Now don't you go explaining? laws the number of times you've explained it. I know it's true, it's in the Bible, if I could only believe it. But I would have liked to have had you try your hand at politics. If I could have been just once to a senator's house, to a banquet or something, just once, in a nice bright red dress with gold slippers, I'd have been willing to go back to alpaca and scrubbing floors and listening to you rehearsing your sermons.

Starting point is 03:10:35 not in the stable. To that old mare we had for so many years. Oh, laws, how long is it since she's been dead now? Must be, yes, it's 27 years. Why is it? That it's only in religion, that the things you've got to believe are again all experience. Now, drat it, don't you go and quote that, I believe because it is impossible, thing to me again? I believe because it's impossible? Huh, that's just like a minister. Oh dear, I hope I don't live long enough to lose my faith. Seems like the older I get, the less I'm excited over all these preachers that talk about hell, only they never saw it. Twenty-seven years, and we had that old horse so long before that, my, how she could kick, busted that buggy. And they were both asleep.

Starting point is 03:11:33 End of Section 6. Section 7 of Elmer Gantry. This is a Libravox recording. All Libravox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Libravox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 7, Chapter 5, Part 1. In the Cottonwood Grove by the Muddy River,

Starting point is 03:12:07 three miles west of Paris, Kansas, the godly were gathered with lunch baskets, linen dusters, and moist, unhappy babies for the all-day celebration. Brothers Elmer Gantry and Edward Fizzlinger had been licensed to preach before, but now they were to be ordained as full-fledged preachers, as Baptist ministers.

Starting point is 03:12:34 They had come home from distant Missing, Theological Seminary for ordination by their own Council of Churches, the Kajuska River Baptist Association. Both of them had another year to go out of the three-year seminary course, but by the more devout and rural brethren it is considered well to ordain the clerics early so that even before they attain infallible wisdom, they may fill backwoods pulpit, and during weekends do good works with divine authority. His vacation after college Elmer had spent on a farm.

Starting point is 03:13:17 During vacation, after his first year in seminary, he had been supervisor in a boy's camp. Now, after ordination, he was to supply at the smaller churches in his corner of Kansas. During his second year of seminary, he just finished, he had been more voluminously bored than ever at Terwilliger. Constantly he had thought of quitting, but after his journeys to the city of Monarch,

Starting point is 03:13:46 where he was in closer relation to fancy ladies and to bartenders than one would have desired in a holy clerk, he got a second wind in his resolve to lead a pure life, and so managed to keep on toward perfection, as symbolized by the degree of Bachelor of Divinity. But if he had been bored, he had acquired professional training. He was now able to face any audience and to discourse authoritatively

Starting point is 03:14:19 on any subject whatsoever for any given time to the second, without trembling and without any errors of speech beyond an infrequent ain't, or he don't. He had an elegant vocabulary. He knew 18 synonyms for sin. Half of them very long and impressive, and the others very short and explosive and minotory. Minotory being one of his own best words,

Starting point is 03:14:52 constantly useful in terrifying the as yet imaginary horde of sinners gathered before him. He was no longer embarrassed by using the most intimate language about God. Without grinning, he could ask a seven-year-old boy, don't you want to give up your vices? And without flinching, he could look a tobacco salesman in the eye and demand, have you ever knelt before the throne of grace? Whatever worldly expressions he might use in several conversations with the less sanctified theological students, such as Harry Zins,

Starting point is 03:15:35 who was the most confirmed atheist in the school, in public he never so much said doggone, and he had on tap for immediate and skilled use a number of such phrases as, Brother, I am willing to help you find religion. My whole life is a testimonial to my faith. To the inner eye there is no trouble, comprehending the three-fold nature of divinity.

Starting point is 03:16:04 We don't want any long-faced Christians in this church. The fellow that's been washed in the blood of the lamb is just so happy he goes around singing and hollering hallelujah all day long. And come now, all get together, and let's make this the biggest collection this church has ever seen. He could explain for ordination thoroughly, and he used the words baptizo and Athanasian. He would perhaps be less orchestral, less Palladian,

Starting point is 03:16:41 when he had been in practice for a year or two after graduation, and discovered that the hearts of men are vile, their habits low, and that they are unwilling to hand the control of all those habits over to the parson. But he would recover again, and he was a promise of what he might have been in 20 years as a $10,000 seer. He had grown broader. His glossy hair longer than Etterwilliger was blushed back from his heavy white brow. His nails were oftener clean, and his speech was jovian.

Starting point is 03:17:24 It was more sonorous, more measured and pontifical. He could and did. reveal his interest and knowledge of your secret moral diabetes merely by saying, How are we today, brother? And though he had almost flunked in Greek, his thesis on 16 ways of paying a church debt had won the $10 prize in practical theology. Part 2 He walked among the Cayusha,

Starting point is 03:18:02 Valley Communicants, beside his mother. She was a small-town businesswoman. She was not unduly wrinkled or shabby. Indeed, she wore a good little black hat and a new brown silk frock with a long gold chain. But she was inconspicuous beside his bulk and sober magnificent. He wore for the ceremony a new double-breasted suit of black, broadcloth and new black shoes. So did Eddie Fizzlinger, along with a funereal tie and a black, white felt hat like a Texas congressman's. But Elmer was more daring. Had he not understood that

Starting point is 03:18:50 he must show dignity, he would have indulged himself in the gaudiness for which he had a talent. he had compromised by buying a beautiful white-gray felt hat in Chicago on his way home, and he had ventured on a red-bordered gray silk handkerchief, which gave a pleasing touch of color to his silver chest. But he had left off for the day the large opal ring surrounded by almost gold serpents, for which he had lusted, and to which he had yielded in wood in liquor in the city of monarch. He walked as an army with banners.

Starting point is 03:19:35 He spoke like a trombone. He gestured widely with his large, blanched thick hand, and his mother, on his arm, looked up in ecstasy. He wafted her among the cloud, affable as a candidate for probate judgeship, and she was covered with the fringes of his glory. For the ordination, perhaps 200 Baptist laymen and laywomen, and at least 200 babies,

Starting point is 03:20:08 had come in from neighboring congregations by Buckbore Democrat wagon and buggy. It was 1905. There was as yet no Ford near than Fort Scott. They were honest, kindly, solid folk, Farmers and blacksmiths and cabalers, men with tanned-lined faces Were increased best suits, The women deep-bosomed or work shrivel in clean gingham.

Starting point is 03:20:40 There was one village banker, very chatty and democratic, In a new crash suit. They milled like cattle, in dust up to their shoelaces, and dust veiled them in the still heat under the dusty branches of the cottonwoods, from which floated shreds to catch and glisten on the rough fabric of their clothes. Six preachers had combined to assist the Paris parson in his ceremony, and one of them was no less than the Reverend Dr. Ingle come all the way from San Francisco. st joe where he was said to have a sunday school of six hundred as a young man very thin and eloquent in a frock-coat dr ingle had for six months preached in paris and mrs gantry remembered her as her favourite minister he had been so kind to her when she was ill had come in to read ben-hur aloud and tell stories to a chunky little ilmer given to hiding behind furniture and heaving vegetables at visitors well well so this is a little ted i used to know as a shaver

Starting point is 03:22:01 well you always were a good little manny and they tell me that now you're a consecrated young man that you're destined to do a great work for the lord dr ingle greeted elmer well thank you doctor pray for me It's an honor to have you come from your great church, said Elmer. Not a bit of trouble. On my way to Colorado. I've taken a cabin way up in the mountains there. Glorious for you. Sunsets painted by the Lord himself. My congregation have been so good as to give me two months' vacation.

Starting point is 03:22:42 Wish you could pop up there for a while, Brother Elmer? Well, I wish I could, doctor. but I have to try in my humble way to keep the fires burning around here. Mrs. Gantry was panting, to have her little boy discoursing with Dr. Ingle as though they were equals. To hear him talking like a preacher, just as natural, and someday, Elmer, with a famous church, with a cottage in Colorado for the summer,

Starting point is 03:23:16 married to a dear, pious little woman with half a dozen children, and herself invited to join them for the summer, all of them, kneeling in family prayers led by Elmer. Though it was true, Elmer declined to hold any family prayers just now, said he had too much of it in seminary all year. Too bad, but she'd keep our own. uncoaxing, and if he just would stop smoking as he had begged and besought him to do, well, perhaps if he didn't have a few naughtinesses left, he wouldn't hardly be her little boy anymore.

Starting point is 03:24:02 How she had had to scold once upon the time to get him to wash his hands and put on the nice red-wollen wristless she had knitted for him. No less satisfying to her was the way of the way of in which Elmer impressed all their neighbors. Charlie Wattley, the house painter, commander of the Ezra P. Nickerson Post of the G.A.R. of Paris, who had always pulled his white mustache and grunted when she had tried to explain Elmer's hidden powers of holiness, took her aside to admit,

Starting point is 03:24:38 You were right, sister. He makes a fine, upstanding, young man of God. They encountered that town problem Hank McViddle, the druggist. Elmer and he had been mates. Together they had stolen sugarcorn, drunk hard cider, and indulged in haemoe veneery. Hank was a small red man with a lascivious and knowing eye. It was certain that he had come today only to laugh at Elmer. They met face on, and Hank.

Starting point is 03:25:16 Hank observed. Morning, Mrs. Gantry. Well, Elmy, going to be a preacher, eh? I am, Hank. Like it? Hank was grinning and scratching his cheek with a freckled hand. Other unsanctified Parisians were listening. Elmer boomed. I do, Hank. I love it. I love the ways of the Lord, and I don't ever propose to put my foot into any others. I've tasted the fruit of evil. Hank? You know that. And there's nothing to it. What fun we had, Hank, was nothing to the peace and joy I feel now. I'm kind of sorry for you, my boy. He loomed over Hank, dropped his paw heavily on his shoulder. Why don't you try to get right with God? Maybe you'll be smarter than he is.

Starting point is 03:26:16 never claimed to be anything of the sort, snapped Hank. And in that testiness, Eddie triumphed. His mother exulted. She was sorry to see how few were congratulating Elmer Fizzlinger, who was also milling but motherless, inconspicuous, meek to the presiding clergy. Old Jukens, humble, gentle old farmer, inched up to murmur, like to shake your hand, brother Elma. Might a fine to see you chosen thus and put aside for the work of the Lord.

Starting point is 03:26:55 Jigity to think I remember you as knee-high to a grass hopper. I suppose you study a lot of awful learned books now. Well, they make us work good and hard, brother Jukens. They give us plenty of deep stuff. Hermannutics, Christomathy, periscopes, exegesis, homiletics, liturgics, Isogene, Isog, Greek and Hebrew and Aramaic, hymnology, and apologetics? Oh, good deal. Well, I should say so, worshipped old Jukens,

Starting point is 03:27:34 while Mrs. Gantry marveled to find Elmer even more profound than she had thought. And Elmer reflected proudly. that he really did know what all but a couple of the words meant. My sighed his mother. You're getting so educated, I hope to goodness pretty soon I won't hardly dare to talk to you. Oh, no. There'll never come a time when you and I won't be the best of pals or when I won't need the inspiration of your prayers, said Elmer Gantry,

Starting point is 03:28:10 melodiously with refined but manly laughter. Part 3. They were assembling on benches, wagon seats, and boxes for the ceremony of ordination. The pulpit was a wooden table with a huge Bible and a pitcher of lemonade. Behind it were seven rocking chairs for the clergy, and just in front, two hard wooden chairs for the candidates. The present local pastor, Brother Dinger, was a meager man, slow of speech and given to long prayers. He rapped on the table, we will now begin. Elmer looking handsome on a kitchen chair in front of the rows of flushed hot faces.

Starting point is 03:29:02 He stopped fretting that his shiny new black shoes were dust to gray. His heart pounded. was in for it. No escape. He was going to be a pastor. Last chance for Jim Lefferts, and Lord knew where Jim was. He couldn't. His shoulder muscles were rigid. Then they relaxed wearily, as though he had struggled to satiety and while Brother Dinger went on. Well, we'll start with the usual examination of our young brothers and the brethren have, they've been good enough to let me, in whose charge one of these young gentlemen brothers has always lived and made his home, to let me ask the questions.

Starting point is 03:29:59 Now, brother Gantry, do you believe fully and wholeheartedly in baptize, by immersion. Elmer was thinking, what a rotten pulpit voice the poor duck has. But aloud, he was rumbling. I believe, brother, that I've been taught

Starting point is 03:30:21 that possibly a man might be saved if he had just been baptized by sprinkling or pouring. But only if he were ignorant of the truth. Of course, immersion is the only scriptural way. If we're really going to be

Starting point is 03:30:38 like Christ, we must be buried with him in baptism. Well, that's fine, brother Gantry. Praise God. Now, brother Fizzlinger, do you believe in the final perseverance of the saints? Eddie's eager but cracked voice explaining on and on, somniferous as the locust in the blazing fields across the Cayusca River. There was no hierarchy in the Baptist Church, but only a free association of like-minded local churches, so there are no canonical forms of procedure, but only customs.

Starting point is 03:31:20 The ceremony of ordination is not a definite right. It may vary as the local associations will. An ordination is conferred not by any bishop, but by the general approval of the churches in an association. The questions were followed by the charge to the candidates, a tremendous discourse by the great Dr. Engel, in which he recommended study, light meals, and helping the sick by going and reading texts to them. Everyone joined then in a tremendous basket lunch

Starting point is 03:31:58 on long plank tables by the cool river, banana layer cake, donuts, fried, chicken, chocolate layer cake, scalloped potatoes, hermit cookies, coconut layer cake, pickled tomato preserves on plates which skidded about the table with coffee poured into

Starting point is 03:32:18 sarsiless cups from a vast tin pot, inevitably scalding at least one child who howled. There were hearty shouts of past a lemon pie, sister Schiff, and that was a fine discourse of Brother Ingalls. and, oh dear, I dropped my spoon and an ant got on it.

Starting point is 03:32:40 Well, I'll just wipe it on my apron. That was fine, the way Brother Gantry explained, how the Baptist Church has existed ever since the Bible days. Boys bathing, shrieking, splashing one another, boys get into the poison ivy. Boys becoming so infected with a poison ivy that they would turn spotting and begin to swell within seven hours,

Starting point is 03:33:07 Dr. Engel enthusiastically telling the other clergy of his trip to the Holy Land. Elmer lying about his fondness for the faculty of his theological seminary. Reassembled after lunch, Brother Tusker, minister of the largest congregation in the association, gave the charge to the churches. This was always the juiciest.

Starting point is 03:33:34 and most scandalous and delightful part of the ordination ceremony. In it, the clergy had a chance to get back at the parishners, who, as large contributors, as guaranteed saints, had all year been nagging them. Here there were these fine young men going into the ministry, said Brother Tasker. Well, it was up to them to help. Brother Gantrey and Brother Fizzlinger were leaping,

Starting point is 03:34:04 with the joy of sacrifice and learning. Then the churches gave him a chance and not make him spend all the time hot-footing it around as some older preachers had to do, raising their own salaries. Let folks quit criticizing, let them appreciate godly lives, and a quickening word once in a while

Starting point is 03:34:28 instead of ham-hammering their preachers all day long. and certain of the parties who criticized the preacher's wives for idleness. Funny, the way some of them seemed to have much time to gather around and notice things and spread scandal. T'wasn only the menfolks that the Savior was thinking of when they, them that were without sin, being the only folks that were qualified to heave any rocks. The other preachers leaned back on their chairs and tried to look casual. and hopeful that Brother Tasker was going to bear down even a little heavier on that matter of raising salaries. In his sermon and the concluding ordination prayer, Brother Knopplock of Markensville,

Starting point is 03:35:19 summed up for the benefit of Elmer Gantry, Eddie Fizzlinger and God, the history of the Baptist, the importance of missions, and the perils of not reading the Bible before, breakfast daily. Through his long prayer, the visiting pastor stood with their hands on the heads of Elmer and Eddie. There was a grotesque hitch at first. Most of the ministries were little men who could no more than reach up to Helmer's head. They stood strained and awkward and unecclesiastical, these shabby good men, before the restless audience. There was a giggle. Elmer had a dramatic flash. He knelt abruptly, and Eddie peering and awkward following him.

Starting point is 03:36:12 In the powdery gray dust, Elmer knelt, ignoring it on his head were the worn hands of three veteran preachers, and suddenly he was humble. For a moment, he was veritably being ordained to the priestly service of God. He had been only impatient till this instant. In the chapels at Mitzpah and Terwiligur, he had heard too many famous visiting pulpitiers to be impressed by the rustic eloquence of the Keuska Association. But he felt now their diffident tenderness,

Starting point is 03:36:54 their unlettered fervor, these poverty-twisted parsons who believe, patient in their bare and baking tabernacles, that they were saving the world, and who wistfully welcomed the youths that they themselves had been. For the first time in weeks, Elmer prayed not as an exhibition, but sincerely, passionately, savoring righteousness. Dear God, I'll get down to it, Not show off, but just think of thee.

Starting point is 03:37:33 Do good. God help me. Coolness fluttered the heavy dust-cake-leaves, and as the sighing crowd creaked up from their benches, Elmer Gantry stood confident, an ordained minister of the gospel. End of Section 7. Section 8 of Elmer Gantry

Starting point is 03:38:05 This is a Libravox recording All Libravox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer Please visit Libravox.org Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida Section 8 Chapter 6 Part 1

Starting point is 03:38:26 The State of Winnamek lies between Pittsburgh and Chicago and in Winniak, perhaps a hundred miles south of the city of Zenith is Babylon, a town which suggests New England more than the Middle West. Large elms shaded, there are white pillars beyond lilac bushes, and round about the town is a serenity unknown on the gusty prairies. Here is Mitzpah Theological Seminary of the northern, Baptist. There is a northern and southern convention of this distinguished denomination, because before the Civil War, the Northern Baptist proved by the Bible unanswerably

Starting point is 03:39:15 that slavery was wrong, and the Southern Baptists proved, by the Bible, irrefutably, that slavery was the will of God. The three buildings of the seminary are attractive, brick, with white cupolas, green blinds at the small-paned wide windows, but within they are bare, with hand-rubbings along the plaster walls, with portraits of missionaries and ragged volumes of sermons. The large structure is the dormitory Elizabeth J. Schmutz Hall, known to the less reverent as Smut Hall. Here lived Elmer Gantry, now ordained, but completing the last year of work for his Bachelor of Divinity degree,

Starting point is 03:40:09 a commodity of value, in bargaining with the larger churches. There were only 16 left now of his original class of 35. The others had dropped out for a rural preaching, life insurance, or a melancholy return to plowing. There was no one with whom he wanted. wanted to live, and he dwelt sulkily in a single room with a cot, a Bible, a portrait of his mother, and with a copy of, what a young man ought to know, concealed inside his one-starched pulpit shirt. He disliked most of his class. They were too rustic or too pious, too inquisitive about his monthly trips to the city of monarch, or simply too dull.

Starting point is 03:40:59 Elmer liked the company of what he regarded as intellectual people. He never understood what they were saying, but to hear them saying it made him feel superior. The group which you most frequented gathered in the room of Frank Schallard and Don Pickens, the large corner room on the second floor of Smut Hall. It was not an aesthetic room, though Frank Schallard might have come to admire pictures, great music, civilized furniture, he had been trained to regard them as worldly, and to contend himself with art which presented a message, to regard la miserab as superior because the bishop was a kind man, and the scarlet letter as a poor book, because the heroine was sinful, and the

Starting point is 03:41:52 author didn't mind. The walls were of old plaster, cracked and turned deathly gray, marked with the blood of mosquitoes and bedbugs slain in portentous battles long ago by theologians, now gone forth to bestow there, thus uplifted visions on a materialistic world. The bed was a skeleton of rusty iron bars, sagging in the center with a comforter which was not too clean. Trunks were in the corners,

Starting point is 03:42:24 and the wardrobe was now a row of hooks behind a caligal curtain. The grass matting was slowly dividing into separate strands, and under the study table it had been scuffed through to the cheap pine flooring. The only pictures were Frank's steel engravings of Roger Williams,

Starting point is 03:42:47 his framed in pansy-painted copy of Pippapassas, and Don Pickin's favorite, a country church by winter moonlight, with tinsel snow, which sparkled delightfully. The only untheological books were Frank's poets, Wordsworth Longfellow Tennis and Browning, in standard volumes, fine-printed and dismal.

Starting point is 03:43:11 And one really dangerous papist document is imitation of Christ, about which there was argument at least once a week. In this room, squatting on straight chairs, the trunks and the bed, only November evening in 1905 were five young men besides Elmer and Eddie Fizzlinger. Eddie did not really belong to the group, but he persisted in following Elmer, feeling that not even yet was everything quite right with the brother. A preacher has got to be just as husky and packed just as good a whop as a price fighter. He ought to be able to throw any rough neck that tries to interrupt his meeting, and still more,

Starting point is 03:44:02 Strength makes such a hit with the women in his congregation. Of course, I don't mean it in any wrong way, said Wallace Umstead. Wallace was a student instructor, head of the minute seminary gymnasium and director of physical culture. A young man who had a military mustache and who did brist. things on horizontal bars. He was a State University BA and graduate of a physical training school. He was going into YM.C. work when he should have a divinity degree, and he was fond of saying, oh, I'm still one of the boys, you know, even if I am a prof. That's right, agreed Elmer Gantry. Say, I had, I was holding a meeting at Grouton, Kansas last summer,

Starting point is 03:44:55 and there was a big boob that kept interrupting. So I just jumped down from the platform, went up to him, and he says, "'Say, Parson,' he says, "'Can you tell us what the Almighty wants us to do about prohibition, "'considering he told Paul to take some wine for his stomach's sake?' "'Well, I don't know as I can,' I says, "'but you want to remember he also commended us to cast out devils,

Starting point is 03:45:24 and I yanked that Yahoo out of his seat and threw him out on his ear and say the whole crowd, well, there weren't so awful many there, but they certainly did give him a ha-ha, you bet. And to be a husky makes a hit with the full congregation, men's as well as women, but there's more than one high-tone preacher that got his pulpit because the deacons felt he could lick him. Of course, praying and all that is all okay, but you've got to be practical. We're here to do good, but first you have to sense a job that you can do good in. Oh, you're a commercial, protested Eddie Fizzlinger, and Frank Schallard, good heavens, Gantry, is that all your religion means to you?

Starting point is 03:46:18 Besides, said Horace Corp, you have the wrong angle. It isn't mere brute force that appeals to women, to congregations. It's a beautiful voice. I don't interview you your book, Elmer. Besides, you're going to get fat. Like hell I am. But what I could do with that voice of yours, I'd have them all weeping, I'd read him poetry from the pulpit.

Starting point is 03:46:48 Horace Carp was the one high churchman in the seminary, He was a young man who resembled a water spaniel, who concealed saints' images, incense, and a long piece of scarlet brocade in his room, and who wore a purple velvet smoking jacket. He was always raging because his father, a wholesale plumber and pious, had threatened to kick him out if he went to an Episcopal seminary instead of a Baptist fortress. "'Yeah, you probably would read them poetry,' said Elmer. "'That's the trouble with you highfalutin guys. You think you can get people by a lot of poetry and junk.

Starting point is 03:47:34 What gets them and holds them and brings them to their pews every Sunday is the straight gospel, and it don't hurt one bit to scare them into being righteous with a good old-fashioned hell. You bet, providing you encourage them to keep their bodies in swell shape, too, condescended Wallace Umstead. Well, I don't want to talk as a prof. After all, I'm glad I can still remain just one of the boys, but you aren't going to develop a very big horsepower in your praying tomorrow morning if you don't get your sleep.

Starting point is 03:48:12 And me, to my little downy. Good night. At the closing of the door, Harry Zinzance the seminary iconoclastion. Wallace is probably the finest slice of tripe in my wide clerical experience. Thank God he's gone. Now we can be natural and talk dirty. And yet, complained Frank Schallard, you encourage him to stay and talk about his pet methods of exercise.

Starting point is 03:48:44 Don't you ever tell the truth, Harry? Well, never carelessly. Why, you idiot, I want Wallace to run and let the dean know what an earnest worker in the vineyard I am. Frank, you're a poor innocent. I suspect you actually believe some of the dope they teach us here. And yet you're a man of some reading. You're the only person in mitzpah, except myself,

Starting point is 03:49:13 who could appreciate a paragraph of Huxley. Lord, how I pity you when you get into the ministry? Of course, Fizzlinger here is a grocery clerk. Elmer is a ward politician. Horace is a dancing master. He was drowned beneath a surf of protest, not too jocco-send friendly. Harry Zinzance was older than the others,

Starting point is 03:49:39 32 at least. He was plump, almost completely bald and fond of sitting still, and he could look profoundly stupid. He was a man of ill-assorted but astonishing knowledge, and in the church ten miles from Mitzpah, which he had regularly supplied for two years, he was considered a man of humorless learning and bloodless piety. He was a complete and cheerful atheist, but he admitted it only to Elmer Gantry, and Horace Karp. Elmer regarded him as a sort of Jim Lefferts, but he was as different from Jim as pork fat from Crystal. He hid his giggling atheism.

Starting point is 03:50:29 Jim flourished his. He despised women. Jim had a disillusion pity for the Winita clausals of the world. He had an intellect. Jim had only cynical guesses. Zens interrupted their protests. So you're a bunch of erasmuses. You ought to know that there's no hypocrisy in what we teach and preach. We're a specially selected group of Parsifals, beautiful to the eye, and stirring to the ear and overflowing with knowledge of what God said to the Holy Ghost in camera at 916 last Wednesday morning. We're all just raring to go and preach the precious Baptist doctrine of get ducked or duck. We are wonders, we admit it.

Starting point is 03:51:25 And people actually sit and listen to us and don't choke. I suppose they're overwhelmed by our nerve. And we have to have nerve or we never dare to stand any pulpit again. we'd quit and pray god to forgive us for having stood up there and pretended that we represent god and that we can't explain what we ourselves say are the unexplainable mysteries but i still claim there are preachers who haven't our holiness why is it that the clergy are so given to sex crimes that's not true from eddie fizzlinger don't talk that way Don Pickens begged. Don was Frank's roommate, a slight youth,

Starting point is 03:52:14 so gentle, so affectioned, that even the raging lion of righteousness, Dean Trosper, was moved to spare him. Harry Zence patted his arm. Oh, you, Don, you'll always be a month, but if you don't believe it,

Starting point is 03:52:31 Fizzlinger, look at the statistics of the 5,000-odd crimes committed by clergymen. That is those who have got caught since the 80s, and note the percentage of sex offenses, rape, incest, bigamy, enticing young girls, oh, a lovely record. Elmer was yelling, oh, God, I do get so sick of you fellows yammering and arguing and discussing. All perfectly simple. Maybe we preachers aren't perfect,

Starting point is 03:53:04 don't pretend to be, but we do a lot of good. Well, that's right, said Eddie. Maybe it is true that the snares of sex are so dreadful that even ministers of the gospel are trapped. And the perfectly simple solution is continents. Just take it out in prayer and good hard exercise. Oh, sure, Eddie, you bet. What a help you're going to be to the young men in your church.

Starting point is 03:53:34 church, purred Harry Zens. Frank Shalard was meditating unhappily. Just why are we going to be preachers? Anyway, why are you, Harry, if you think we're all such liars? Oh, not liars, Frank, just practical, as Elmer put it. Me, it's easy. I'm not ambitious. I don't want money enough to hustle for it. I like to sit and read. I like intellectual acrobatics and no work, and you can have all that in the ministry.

Starting point is 03:54:10 Unless you're one of these chumps that get up big institutional outfits and work themselves to death for publicity. You certainly have a fine view of the ministry, growled Elmer. Well, all right. What's your fine high purpose in becoming a man of God, brother Gantry? "'Well, I—' "'Well, rats, it's perfectly clear. "'Pretures can do a lot of good, "'and give help, and explain religion.

Starting point is 03:54:42 "'I wish you'd explain it to me, "'especially I want to know "'to what extent our Christian symbols "'descended from indecent barbaric symbols. "'Oh, you make me tired.' "'Horris carp fluttered. "'Of course, none of you consecrated "'wind-jammers ever think of the

Starting point is 03:55:02 one raison d'est of the church, which is to add beauty to the barren lives of the common people. Yeah, it certainly must make the common people feel awfully common to hear Brother Gantry spiel about the heirs of superal saponarianism. I never preach about any such a godong thing, Elmer protested. I just give him a good, helpful sermon, with some joists. sprinkled in to make it interesting, and some stuff about the theater or something that'll startle them a little, and wake them up and help them to lead better and for daily lives. Oh, do you, dearie, said Zin, my error, I thought you probably gave him a lot of helpful hints

Starting point is 03:55:51 about the inaccessibilities tribute and the race sacramenti. Well, Frank, why did you become a theolog? I can't tell you when you put it sneeringly. I believe there are mystic experiences which you can follow only if you are truly set apart. Well, I know why I came here, said Don Pickens. My dad sent me. So did mine, complained Horace Carp. But what I can't understand is, why are any of us in an old Baptist

Starting point is 03:56:32 school. Horrible denomination. All these moldy barns of churches and people coughing illiterate hymns and long-winded preachers always springing a bright new idea like all the world needs to solve its problems is to get back to the gospel of Jesus Christ. The only church is the episcopal. Music, vestments, stately prayers, Lovely architecture, dignity, authority. Believe me, as soon as I can make the break, I'm going to switch over to the Episcopalians, and then I'll have a social position

Starting point is 03:57:15 and be able to marry a nice rich girl. No, you're wrong, said Zenz. The Baptist Church is the only denomination worthwhile, except possibly the Methodist. I'm glad to hear you say that, Marveled Eddie, because the Baptists and the Methodists have all the numbs skulls except that belong to the Catholic Church and the Hinn House sects. And so even you, Horace, can get away with being a prophet. There are some intelligent people in the Episcopal and congregational churches, and a few of the

Starting point is 03:57:55 Campbellite flocks, and they check up on you. Of course, all Presbyterians are half-wits. too, but they have a standard doctrine, and they can trap you into a heresy trial. But in the Baptist and Methodist Church's man, there's the birth for philosophers like me and who else like you, Eddie? All you have to do with Baptist and Methodist, as Father Karp suggests, if you agree with me about anything, I withdraw it, said Horace. All you have to do, said Zimel. is to get some sound and perfectly meaningless doctrine and keep repeating it. You won't bore the layman.

Starting point is 03:58:41 In fact, the only thing they resent is something that is new, so they have to work their brains. Oh no, Father Karp, the Episcopal pulpits for actors that aren't good enough to get on the stage, but the good old Baptist fold for realists. "'You make me tired, Harry,' complained Eddie. "'You must want to show off, that's all. "'You're a lot better Baptist than a lot better Christian than you let on to be,

Starting point is 03:59:12 "'and I can prove it. "'Folks won't go on listening to your sermons unless they carry conviction. "'No, sir. "'You can fool folks once or twice with a lot of swell-sounding words, "'but in the long run it's sincerity they love. look for? And one thing that makes me know you're on the right side is that you don't practice open communion. Golly, I feel that everything we baptist stand for is threatened by those darn so-called liberals that are beginning to practice open communion. Rats, grumbled Harry. Of all the

Starting point is 03:59:53 fool Baptist egotism, closed communion is the worst. Nobody. but people we consider saved to be allowed to take communion with us. Nobody can meet God unless we introduce them. Self-appointed guardians of the blood and body of Jesus Christ, fuchs, absolutely, from Horace Karp, and there is absolutely no scriptural basis for a closed communion. There certainly is, shrieked Eddie, "'F Frank, where's your Bible?'

Starting point is 04:00:30 "'A gee, I lifted inside. "'Where's yours, Don?' "'Well, I'll be switched. "'I had the darn thing right here just this evening,' "'lamented Don Perkins, after a search. "'Oh, I remember. "'I was killing a cockroach with it. "'It's on top of your wardrobe,' said Elmer.

Starting point is 04:00:51 "'Gee, honest, "'you oughtn't to kill cockroaches with a Bible,' mourned Eddie Fizzlinger. Now here's the Bible, good and straight for close communion. Harry, it says in 1st Corinthians 1127 and 29, whoever shall eat this bread, and drink this cup of the Lord unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and of the blood of the Lord,

Starting point is 04:01:19 for he that eateth and drinketh, unworthily eateth and drinketh, damnation to him, himself. And how can there be a worthy Christian unless he's been baptized by immersion? I do wonder sometimes, mused to Frank Sheldert, if we aren't rather impious, we baptists, to set ourselves up as the keepers of the gates of God, deciding just who is righteous and who is worthy to commune? But there's nothing else we can do, explained Eddie.

Starting point is 04:02:01 The Baptist Church being the only pure, scriptural church is the one real church of God, and we're not setting ourselves up, we're just following God's ordinances. A horse carp had been revealing in the popular mispice sport of looking up biblical, texts to prove a preconceived idea. I don't find anything here about Baptists, he said. Not about your doggone old Episcopalians either, darn snabs. And the preachers were in nightchurch from Eddie. You bet your life.

Starting point is 04:02:45 You find something that talks about bishops, and that means the episcopal bishops. The peeps and the Methodist and the uncanonical. bishops, rejoiced Horace. I'll bet you $2.67. Since I wind up as an Episcop of bishop, and believe me, I'll be high church as hell, all the candles I can get up on the altar. Harry Zense was speculating. I suppose it's unscientific to believe that because I happen to be a Baptist practitioner myself, and see that word-splitting, text-twisting, applause, hungry, job-hunting, mid-evil-minded second raiders, even the biggest Baptist leaders are.

Starting point is 04:03:38 Therefore, the Baptist Church is the worst of the lot. I don't suppose it's really any worse than the Presbyterian or the congregational or disciples or Lutheran or any other. But say you, Fizzlinger, ever occur to you, how dangerous it is, this Bible worship? You and I might have to quit preaching and go to work. You tell the mutton heads that the Bible contains absolutely everything necessary for salvation, don't you? Of course. Then what's the use of having any preachers? Any church that people stay home and read.

Starting point is 04:04:23 Read the Bible. Well, it says, the door was dashed open, and Brother Carcas entered. Brother Carcass was no youthful student. He was 43, heavy-handed, big-footed, and his voice was the voice of a great Dane. Born to the farm, he had been ordained a Baptist preacher for 20 years now. And up and down through the Dakotas, Nebraska, Arkansas, saw, he had bellowed in up creek tabernacles. His only formal education had been in country schools,

Starting point is 04:05:00 and of all books, save the Bible, revivalistic hymnals, a concordance handy for finding sermon texts, and a manual of poultry keeping. He was absolutely ignorant. He had never met a woman of the world, never drunk a glass of wine, never heard a bar of great music, and his neck was not free from the dust of the cornfields.

Starting point is 04:05:26 But it would have been a waste of pity, to sigh over Brother Carcass as a plucky poor student. He had no longing for further knowledge. He was certain he already had it all. He despised the faculty as book adulterated wobblers in the faith, He could out pray and out-holler and out-save the whole lot of them. He desired a mitzpah degree only because it would get him a better paid job, or as he put it, with the 1850 vocabulary which he found adequate for 1905,

Starting point is 04:06:10 because it would lead him to a wider field of usefulness. "'Say, don't you fellers ever do anything but sit around and argue and disgust and bellyache?' he shouted. "'My, lands, I can hear you rack it way down the hall. "'Be a lot better for you, young fellas, if you'd forget your smart aleck arguing "'and spend the evening on your knees in prayer. "'Oh, you're a fine lot of smart-educated swells. But you'll find where that rubbish gets you when you go out and have to wrestle with old Satan for unregenerate souls. What are you gas bags arguing about anyway?

Starting point is 04:07:01 Well, Harry says, well Eddie Fizzlinger, that there is nothing in the Bible that says Christians have to have a church or preachers. Huh? And him that thinks he's so educated? Where's a Bible? It was now in the hands of Elmer, who had been reading his favorite book, The Song of Solomon. Well, Brother Gantry,

Starting point is 04:07:26 glad to see there's one galute here. This got sense enough to stick to the old book and get himself right with God, instead of shooting off his face like some Pito Baptist. Now, look here, brother's ends. It says here in Hebrews, for say not, the assembling of yourselves together.

Starting point is 04:07:48 There, I guess that'll hold you. My dear brother in the Lord, said Harry, the only thing suggested there is an assembly like the Plymouth Brotherhood with no regular paid preachers. As I was explaining to Brother Fislinger, personally, I'm so ardent and admirer of the Bible that I'm thinking of starting a sect

Starting point is 04:08:17 where we all just sing a hymn together, then sit and read our Bibles all day long and not have any preachers getting between us and the all-sufficient word of God. I expect you to join, brother Carcas, unless you're one of these dirty higher critics that want to break down the Bible. Oh, you know,

Starting point is 04:08:43 make me tired, said Eddie. You make me tired always twisting the plain commands of scripture, said Brother Carcass, shutting the door waitily and from the outside. You all make me tired. My God, how you fellows can argue, said Elmer, chewing his Pittsburgh Stogie. The room was thick now with tobacco fumes, though in Mitzpah Seminary, smoking was frowned on, practically forbidden by custom, all of the consecrated companies, save Eddie Fizzlinger, were at it. And he rasped, this air is something terrible? Why, you fellas touch that vile weed, worms, and men are the only animals

Starting point is 04:09:35 who indulge in tobacco. I'm going to get out of here. There was strangely little complaint. Rid of Eddie, the others turned to their invariable topic, what they call sex. Frank Schallard and Don Pickens were virgins, timid and fascinated, respectful and urgent. Horace Karp had had one fumbling little green sick experience, and all three listened with nervous eagerness to the experiences of Elmer. and Harry Zinth.

Starting point is 04:10:16 Tonight, Elmer's mind reeked with it, and he who had been almost silent during the ecclese-ethical wrangling was voluble now. The youngsters panted as he chronicled his meetings with a willing choir singer

Starting point is 04:10:34 this summer past. Tell me, tell me, Fred had done, do girls, oh, nice girls, do they really ever, Go with a preacher, and aren't you ashamed to face them afterwards in church? Huh, observed his answer. Ashamed.

Starting point is 04:10:53 They worship you, declared Elmer. They stand by you the way no wife ever would, as long as they do fall for you. Why, this girl, oh, well, she's saying something elegant. He finished vaguely, reminiscently. Suddenly he was bored at treasurer. Reading the mysteries of sex with these moon calves. He lunged up. Gollin? said Frank.

Starting point is 04:11:23 Elmer posed at the door smirking. His hands on his hips. Oh, no, not at all. He looked at his watch. It was a watch which reminded you of Elmer himself. Large, thick, shiny, with a near gold case. I merely have a date with a girl. that's all.

Starting point is 04:11:46 Well, he was lying, but he had been roused by his own stories and would have given a year of life if his boast were true. He returned to his solitary room in a fever. God, if one neuter were only here, or Agatha, or even that little chamber made at Solomon Junction, what the Dickens was her name now? He longed. He sat motionless on the edge of his bed,

Starting point is 04:12:14 He clenched his fists. He groaned and gripped his knees. He sprang up to race about the room to return and sit dolorously entranced. Oh, God, I can't stand it, he moaned. He was inconceivably lonely. He had no friends. He had never had a friend since Jim Lefferts. Harry since despised his brains.

Starting point is 04:12:45 Frank Schellard despised his manners, and the rest of them he himself despised. He was bored by the droning seminary professors all day, the schoolboys arguing in the evening, and in the rush of prayer meetings, and in chapel meetings and special praise meetings, he was bored by hearing the same enthusiasts gamble in the same scriptural rejoicings. yes, I want to go and preach. Couldn't go back, just business or the farm. Missed the hymns, the bean boss, but I can't do it. God, I am so lonely. If Juanita was just here.

Starting point is 04:13:37 End of Section 8. Section 9 of Elmer Gantry. This is a Librevox recording. All Libravox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Librevox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 9, Chapter 7, Part 1 to 4. Part 1. The Reverend Jacob Trusper, D.D.P. H.D. L.D. Dean and Chief Executive of MISPA Theological Seminary, and Professor of Practical Theology and Homelletics was a hard-faced, active man with a large active voice.

Starting point is 04:14:22 His cheeks were gouged with two deep channels. His eyebrows were heavy. His hair, now gray and bristly, must once have been rusty, like Eddie Fislingers. He would have made an excellent top sergeant. He looked through the students and let them understand that he knew their sins and idlenesses before they confessed them.

Starting point is 04:14:48 Elmer was afraid of Dean Trosper. When he was summoned to the dean's office the morning after the spiritual conference in Frank Schallard's room, he was uneasy. He found Frank with the dean. God, Frank's been tattling about my doings with women. Brother Gantry, said the dean. Yes, sir.

Starting point is 04:15:13 I have an appointment which should give you experience and a little extra money. It's a country church down at the Schoenheim, 11 miles from here, on the spur line of the Ontario, Omaha, and Pittsburgh. You will hold regular Sunday morning services and Sunday school. If you are able to work up afternoon and evening services and prayer meetings, so much the better. The pay will be $10 a Sunday. If there's to be anything extra for extra work, well, that's up to you and your flock. I'd suggest that you go down there on a hand-de-car.

Starting point is 04:15:56 I'm sure you can get the section gang boss here to lend you one, as it's for the Lord's work, and the boss's brother does a lot of gardening here. I'm going to send Brother Shalard with you to conduct the Sunday school, and get some experience. He has a particularly earnest spirit, which it wouldn't entirely hurt you to emulate, Brother Gantry,

Starting point is 04:16:21 but he's somewhat shy in contact with sin-hardened common people. Now, boys, this is a small church, but never forget that it's priceless souls that I'm entrusting to your keeping, and who knows but that you may kindle there's such a fire as may someday illuminate all the world. Providing brother Gantry, you eliminate the worldly things

Starting point is 04:16:48 that I suspect you are indulging in. Elmer was delighted. It was his first real appointment. In Kansas this summer, he had merely filled other people's pulpits for two or three weeks at a time. He had shown him some of these fellows that had thought

Starting point is 04:17:06 he was just a mouth artist, show him how he could build up church membership, build up the collections, get them all going with his eloquence, and of course carry the message of salvation into darkened hearts. It would be mighty handy to have the extra ten a week, and maybe more if he could kid the Schoenheim deacons properly. His first church, his own, and Frank had to take his orders. Part two.

Starting point is 04:17:40 virginal days of 1905, suction gangs went out to work on the railway line, not by gasoline power, but by a hand car, a platform with two horizontal bars worked up and down like pump handles. On a hand car, Elmer and Frank

Starting point is 04:17:57 Sheldard set out for their first charge. They did not look particularly clerical as they sawed at the handles. It was a chilly November Sunday morning and they wore shabby great-coats. Elmer had a moth-eaten plush cap over his ears. Frank exhibited absurd earmuffs under a more absurd derby,

Starting point is 04:18:19 and both had borrowed red flannel mittens from the section gang. The morning was icily brilliant, apple orchards glistened in the frost, and among the rattling weed stalks by the wormfences, quail were whistling. Elmer felt his lungs free of livery dust as he pumped, He broadened his shoulders, rejoiced in sweating, felt that his ministry among real men and living life was begun. He pitied the pale Frank a little, and pumped the harder, and made Frank pump the harder, up and down, up and down, up and down. It was agony to the small of his back and shoulders, now growing soft, to labor on the upgrade,

Starting point is 04:19:05 where the shining rails toiled around the curves through the gravel cuts. But downhill, swooping toward the frosty meadows and the sound of cowbells in the morning sun, he whooped with acceleration and struck up a boisterous, There is power, power, wonder-working power, in the blood of the lamb. The Schoenheim Church was a densy brown box with a toy steeple, in a settlement consisting of the church, the station, a blacksmith shop, two stores and half a dozen houses. But at least thirty buggies were gathered along the rutty street

Starting point is 04:19:47 or in the carriage sheds behind the church. At least seventy people had come to inspect their new pastor, and they stood in gaping circles, staring between frosty damp mufflers and visored fur caps. "'I'm scared to death,' murmured Frank as they strode up the one street from the station. But Elmer felt healthy, proud, and expansive, his own church, small, but somehow, somehow different from these ordinary country meeting houses. Quite a nice-shaped steeple, not one of those shacks with no steeple at all. And his people waiting for him, their attention flowing into him and swelling him.

Starting point is 04:20:30 He threw open his overcoat, held it back with his hands imperially posed on his left hip, and let them see not only the black broadcloth suit bought this last summer for his ordination but something choice he had added since elegant white piping at the opening of his vest A red-faced, mustached man swaggered up to greet them. Brother Gantry, and Brother Shalard, I'm Barney Baines, one of the deacons, pleased to meet you. The Lord gave power to your message, some time since we had any preaching here, and I guess we're all pretty hungry for our spiritual food and the straight gospel. Being from Mitzpah, I guess there's no danger you boys believe in this open communion. Frank had begun to worry.

Starting point is 04:21:24 Well, what I feel is, when Elmer interrupted him with a very painful bunt to the side, and chanted in holy joy, "'Please to meet you, Brother Baines. Oh, Brother Shalder and I are absolutely sound on both immersion and close communion. We trust you will pray for us, brother, that the Holy Ghost may be present in this work today, and that all the brethren may rejoice in a great reawakening and a bountable harvest. Deacon Baines and all who heard him muttered,

Starting point is 04:21:59 Saint to Saint, he's pretty young yet, that he's got the right ID. I'm sure we're going to have a real rising preaching. Don't think much of brother shallered though, kind of a nice-looking young fella, but dumb in the head. Stends there like a bump on a log.

Starting point is 04:22:16 Well, he's good enough to teach the kids in Sunday school. Brother Gantry was shaking hands all around. His sanctifying ordination, or had been his summer of bouncing from pulpit to pulpit, had so elevated him that he could greet them as impressively and fraternally as a sewing machine agent. He shook hands with a good grip.

Starting point is 04:22:38 He looked at all the more aged sisters as though they were moved to give him a holy kiss. He said the right things about the weather and by luck or inspiration, it was to the most acidly devout man in Boone County that he quoted a homicidal text from Malachi. As he paraded down the aisle leading his flock, he panted, "'Got him already! I can do something to wake these hicks up, where gas bags like Frank or carp would just chew the rag. How could I have felt so down in the mouth and so carnal last week?

Starting point is 04:23:16 let me at that pulpit. They faced him in hard, straight pews, rugged heads seen against the brown wall, and pine double doors grained to mimic oak. They gratifyingly crowded the building and at the back stood shuffling young men with unshaven chins and pale blue neckties. He felt power over them

Starting point is 04:23:40 while he trolled out the chorus of the church in the wildwood. His text was from Proverbs, Hatredeth up strifes, but love covereth all sins. He seized the sides of the pulpit with his powerful hands, glared at the congregation, decided to look benevolent after all, and exploded. In the hustle and bustle of daily life,

Starting point is 04:24:07 I wonder how many of us stop to think that in all that is highest and best, we are ruled not even by our most up, and coming efforts, but by love? What is love? The divine love of which the great singer teaches us in Proverbs. It is the rainbow that comes after the dark cloud. It is the morning star, and it is

Starting point is 04:24:31 also the evening star, whose being, as you all so well know, the brightest stars we know. It shines upon the cradle of the little one, and when life has, Salas departed, to come no more, you find it still around the quiet tomb. What is it that inspires all great men, be they preachers or patriots, or great businessmen? What is it, my brethren, but love? Ah, it fills the world with melody, with such sacred melodies as we have great indulged in together, for what is music? What my friends is music?

Starting point is 04:25:13 What indeed is music, but the voice of love. He explained that hatred was low. However, for the benefit of the more leathery and zealous deacons down front, he permitted them to hate all Catholics, all persons, who failed to believe in hell and immersion, and all rich mortgage holders, wantoning in the betraying smiles of scarlet women, each of whom wore silk and in her jeweled hands,

Starting point is 04:25:43 held a ruby glass of perfidious wine. He closed, by lowering his voice to a maternal whisper and relating a totally imaginary, but most improving experience with a sinful old gentleman who on his bed of pain had admitted to Elmer's urging that he ought to repent immediately, but who put it off so long died amid his very, virtuous and grief-stricken daughters, and presumably went straight to the devil.

Starting point is 04:26:23 When Elmer had galloped down to the door to shake hands, with such as did not remain for Sabbath school, Sixteen several auditors said, in effect, Brother, that was the most helpful sermon, and elegantly expressed, and he wrung their hands with a boyish gratitude beautiful to see. Deacon Baines patted his shoulder, I never heard, so young a preacher hand out such a fine doctrine brother. Meet my daughter, Lulu. And there she was, the girl for whom he had been looking ever since he had come to Mispah.

Starting point is 04:27:01 Lulu Baines was a gray and white kitten with a pink ribbon. She had sat at the back of the church behind a stove, and he had not seen her. He looked down at her thirstily, his excitement at having played with her. his sermon to such applause was nothing besides his excitement over the fact that he would have her near him in his future clerical labors. Life was a promising and glowing thing as he held her hand and tried not to sound too insistently affectionate. Such a pleasure to meet you, Sister Lulu. Lulu was 19 or 20. She had had a diminutive class of 12-year-old boys and

Starting point is 04:27:45 the Sunday school. Elmer had intended to sneak out during Sunday school, leaving Frank Schallard responsible, and find a place where he could safely smoke a Pittsburgh Stogie, but in view of his new spiritual revelation, he hung about, being with holy approbation of the good work, and being manly and fraternal with the little boys in Lulu's class. If you want to go up and be big fellas, regular sure enough huskies, You just listen to what Miss Baines has to tell you about how Solomon built that wonderful, big old temple.

Starting point is 04:28:22 He crooned at them. And if they twisted and giggled in shyness, at least Lulu smiled at him. A gray and white kitten with sweet kitten eyes. Small, soft kitten, who purred, Oh, now, Brother Gentry, I'm just so scared and I don't hardly dare teach. Big eyes that took him into their depths. still he heard her lisping as the voice of the angels larks and whole orchestra of flutes he could not let her go at the end of sunday school he must hold her oh sister lulu come see me at the handcar frank and i brother shallard and i came down on the funniest, just laugh your head off.

Starting point is 04:29:08 As the section gang passed through Shonheim, at least ten times a week, hand-cars could have been no astounding novelty to Lulu, but she trotted beside him and stared prettily and caroled, oh, honest, did you come down here on that? Well, I never! She shook hands cheerfully with both of them. He thought jealously that she was as cordial to front,

Starting point is 04:29:34 Frank is to himself. He better watch out and not go fooling around my girl, Elmer rectified, as they pumped back toward Babylon. He did not congratulate Frank on having overcome his dread of stolid country audience. Frank had always lived in cities, or on having made Solomon's temple not merely a depressing object composed of substance called cubits, but an actual shrine in which dwelt

Starting point is 04:30:04 an active and terrifying God. Part 3 For two Sundays now, Elmer had striven to impress Lulu, not only as an affectionate young prophet, but as a desirable man. There were always too many people about. Only once did he have her alone. They walked half a mile then to call on a sick old woman.

Starting point is 04:30:29 On their way, Lulu had fluttered at him, gray and white kitten in a close bonnet of soft fuzzy gray which he wanted to stroke. I suppose you're just bored to death by my sermons, he fished. Oh, no, I think they're just wonderful. Do you? Honest? Honest, I do. He looked down at her childish face, till he had caught her eyes and then, jocularly. My, but this wind is making the little cheeks and the,

Starting point is 04:31:02 Cute lips awfully red. I guess maybe some fella must have been kissing them before church. Oh, no! She looked distressed, almost frightened. Whoa up, he counseled himself. You've got the wrong crack. I don't believe she's as much as a fusser as I thought she was. Really is kind of innocent.

Starting point is 04:31:25 Poor kid. Shame to get her all excited. Ah, thunder. Won't hurt her a bit to have some little educated. a love-making? He hastily removed any possible blots on his clerical reputation. Oh, I was joking. I just meant, be ashamed if as lovely girl as you weren't engaged.

Starting point is 04:31:47 I suppose you are engaged, of course. No, I liked a boy here awfully, but he went to Cleveland to work, and I guess he's kind of forgotten me. Oh, that is really too bad. Nothing could be stronger, more dependable, more comforting, than the pressure of his fingers on her arm. She looked grateful. And then she came to the sick room and heard Brother Gantry pray long, fervently, and with the choiceless words about death, not really mattering, nor really hurting, the old woman had cancer.

Starting point is 04:32:23 Then Lulu also looked worshipful. On their way back he made his final probe. But even if you aren't engaged, sister, "'I'll bet there's a lot of the young fellows here that are crazy about you.' "'Oh, no, honest, there aren't. Oh, I go round some with a second cousin of mine, Floyd Naylor. But, my, he's so slow. He's no fun.' "'The Reverend Mr. Gantry planned to provide fun.' "'Part four.'

Starting point is 04:32:59 Elmer and Frank had gone down on Saturday afternoon to decorate the church for the Thanksgiving service. To save the trip to Babylon and back, they were to spend Saturday night in the broad farmhouse of Deacon Baines and Lulu Baines and her spinster cousin, Miss Baldwin, were assisting in the decoration, in other words doing it. They were stringing pine boughs across the back of the hall and arranging a harvest feast of pumpkins yellow corn, velvety sumac, in front of the pulpit. while frank and the spinster cousin of the baineses discussed the artistic values of the pumpkins elmer hinted to lulu i want your advice lulu sister lulu don't you think in my sermon to-morrow it might be helpful to explain they stood side by side now how sweet were her little shoulders her soft pussy-cat cheeks he had to kiss them he had to he swayed toward her

Starting point is 04:34:03 damn frank in that bald and female why didn't they get out to explain that all these riches of the harvest priceless though they are in themselves and necessary for grub for the festival board yet they are but symbols and indications of the do sit down lulu you look a little tired of the deeper spiritual blessings which he also showers on us and not just at harvest time and this is a very important point Her hand dropped against his knee, lay so white on the drab pew. Her breasts were young and undrained under her plaid blouse. He had to touch her hand. His fingers crept toward it, touched it by accident, surely by accident, while she looked to devotion, and he intoned sublimity. A very important point indeed.

Starting point is 04:34:58 All the year round, we receive these greater inner blessings, and it is for them more than for any material gains, that we should lift our voices in Thanksgiving. Don't you think it might be valuable to all of us if I brought that out? Oh, yes, I think I do. I think that's a lovely thought. His arms tingled. He had to slip them around her.

Starting point is 04:35:25 Frank and Miss Baldwin had sat down, and they were in an intolerably long discussion as to what all of them. to be done about that terrible little cutler boy who said that he didn't believe that the ravens brought any bread and meat to Elijah, not if he knew anything about these old crows. Frank explained that he did not wish to rebuke honest doubt, but when this boy went and made a regular business of cutting up and asking foolish questions, Lulu, Elmer urged, skip back in the other room with me a second. There's something about the church work I want to ask you,

Starting point is 04:36:03 and I don't want them to hear. There were two rooms in the Schoenheim Church, the auditorium and a large closet for the storage of hymn books, mops, brooms, folding chairs, and communion cups. It was lighted by a dusty window. Sister Baines and I are going to look over the Sunday school lesson charts, Elmer called largely and brightly. The fact that she did not deny it

Starting point is 04:36:30 bound them together in secrecy. He sat on an upturned bucket. She perched on a step ladder. It was pleasant to be small in her presence and look up to her. What the something about church work, which he was going to ask her, was, he had no notion. But Elmer was a very ready talker in the presence of young women. He launched out.

Starting point is 04:36:55 I need your advice. I've never met anybody that combined common sense and spiritual values, like what you do. Oh my, you're just flattering me, brother Gantry. No, I'm not. Honest, I ain't. You don't appreciate yourself. That's because you've always lived in this little burg,

Starting point is 04:37:17 but if you were in Chicago, or someplace like that, believe me, they'd appreciate your wonderful sense of spiritual values and everything. Oh, Chicago, my, I'd be scared to death, Well, I'll have to take you there someday and show you the town. Guess folks would talk about their bad old preacher then. They both laughed heartily. But seriously, Lulu, what I want to know is, oh, what I wanted to ask you,

Starting point is 04:37:47 do you think I ought to come down here an old Wednesday prayer meeting? Well, why? I think that would be awfully nice. But you see, I'd have to come down on that old hand car. That's so, and you can't know how hard I got to study every evening at the seminary. Oh, yes, I can't imagine. They both sighed in sympathy, and he laid his hands on hers, and they sighed again, and he removed his hand almost prudishly.

Starting point is 04:38:21 But of course I wouldn't want to spare myself in any way. It's a pastor's privilege to spend himself for his congregation. yes that's so but on the other hand with the roads the way they are here especially in winter and all and most of the congregation living way out on farms and all hard farm to get in eh that's so the roads do get so bad yes i think you're right brother gantry oh lulu and here i've been calling you by your first name you're going to make me feel like i've been acting terrible if you rebuke me that way and don't call me ever but then you're the preacher and i'm just nobody oh yes you are oh no i'm not they laughed very much listen lulu honey, remember I'm really still a kid, just 25 this month, only about five or six older than you are. Now try calling me Elmer, and see how it sounds. Oh, my, I wouldn't dare.

Starting point is 04:39:28 Well, try it. Oh, I couldn't. Imagine. Frady Cat, I guess I am. Yes, you are. No, I'm not. I dare you. Well, Elmer then?

Starting point is 04:39:43 so there now and they laughed intimately and in the stress of their merriment he picked up her hand squeezed it rubbed it against his arm and he did not release it but it was only with the friendliest and least emphatic pressure that he held it while he crooned you aren't really scared of poor old elmer well yes i am a tiny bit but why oh you're so big and strong and dignified like you were lots older and you have such a little bit but why oh you're so big and strong and dignified like you were lots older and you have such a little bit a boom, boom, voice. My, I love to listen to it, but it scares me. I feel like you'd turn on me and say, you're bad, little girl, and then I'd have to fess. My,

Starting point is 04:40:25 and then you're so terribly educated, you know such long words, and you can explain all these things about the Bible that I can never understand. And of course you are a real ordained Baptist clergyman. Um,

Starting point is 04:40:42 uh, uh, but does that keep me from being a man, too? Yes, it does, sort of. Then there was no playfulness, but a grim urgency in his voice. Then you couldn't imagine me kissing you? Look at me, look at me, I tell you.

Starting point is 04:40:58 There, no, don't look away now. Why, you're blushing, you dear, poor darling kid, you can imagine me kissing. Well, I oughtn't do. Shamed? Yes, I am. Listen, dear. you think of me as so awfully grown up,

Starting point is 04:41:17 and of course I have to impress all these folks when I'm in the pulpit, but you can see through it, and I'm really just a big, bashful kid, and I need your help so. Did you know, dear, you remind me of my mother? End of Section 9. Section 10 of Elmer Gantry. This is the Liberbox recording,

Starting point is 04:41:43 all LibraVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Libravox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 10 Chapter 7, Part 529. Part 5. Frank Schallard turned on Elmer in their bedroom while they were washing for supper. Their first moment alone since Lulu and Miss Baldwin had

Starting point is 04:42:13 driven them to the Baines farm to spend the night before the Thanksgiving service. Look here, Gantry, Elmer, I don't think it looked well the way you took Miss Baines in the back room at the church and kept her there. Must have been half an hour, and when I came in you two jumped and looked guilty. Uh-huh, so our little friend, frankly, is a real rubber-necking old woman. It was a spacious dusky cavern under the eaves, the room where they were to stay that night. The pitcher on the black walnut wash stand was stippled in gold, riotous with nameless buds. Elmer stood glaring, his big forearms bare and driven, shaking his fingers over the carpet he reached for the towel. I am not a rubber neck, and you know it, Gantry.

Starting point is 04:43:10 But you're the preacher here, and it's a preacher here, and it's a man. our duty for the effect on others to avoid even the appearance of evil. Evil to him who thinks evil. Maybe you've heard that too. Oh yes, Elmer, I think perhaps I have. Suspicious, dirty-minded Puritan, that's what you are, seeing evil where there ain't any meant. People don't hate Puritans because they suspect unjustly but because they suspect only two darned justly. Look here now, Elmer. I don't want to be disagreeal.

Starting point is 04:43:50 Well, you are. But Miss Bain, she looks sort of cuddlesome and flirtatious. But I'm dead certain she's straight as can be, and I'm not going to stand back, and watch you try to make love to her. Well, smarty, suppose I want to marry her. Do you? You know so blame much

Starting point is 04:44:15 You ought to know without asking But do you? I haven't said I didn't Your rhetoric is too complicated for me I'll take it that you do mean to Well that's fine I'll announce your intentions to Deacon Baines You will like hell

Starting point is 04:44:35 Now you look here, Shalard I'm not going to have you poking your long nose into my business, and that's all there is to it, see? Well, yes, it would be if you were a layman, and I had no official connection with this outfit. I don't believe too much in going around being moral for other people, but you're the preacher here. You're an ordained minister, and I'm responsible with you for the welfare of this church, and I'm damned if I'm going to watch you seducing the first girl you get your big sweaty hands on.

Starting point is 04:45:16 Oh, don't go doubling up your fists. Of course you could lick me, but you won't, especially here in the deacon's house. Ruin you in the ministry. Great God, and you're the kind we affably let into the Baptist ministry? I was saying I don't propose to see you try to seduce. Now, by God, if you think you. think I'm going to stand, let me tell you right now, you've got the filthiest mind I ever heard of,

Starting point is 04:45:46 Shallard. Why you think, I intend for one single second to be anything but friendly and open, and aboveboard with Lulu, with Miss Baines, why, you fool, I was then there listening about how she was in love with a fellow, and he's gone off to Chicago and chucked her. And that was all. And why you should think. Oh, don't be so fat-headed, Gantry. You can't get away with sitting in my room in the seminary, boasting you and Zen's boasting about how many affairs you've had. Well, it's the last time I'll sit in your damned room. Spranded. Think what you want to, and go to the devil and be sure and run tattling to Pop Trusper and the rest of the faculty. Well, that's a good comeback.

Starting point is 04:46:39 Gantry, I may do just that, but this evening I'll just watch Lulu, watch Miss Baines, and you. Poor sweet kid that she is. Nice eyes. Uh-huh, young shallered, so you've been smelling around too. My God, Gantry, what a perfect specimen you are. Part 6 Deacon and Mrs. Baines, an angry face, generous. grasping, hoarsy, black-mustached man that he was, and she, a dumpling, managed to treat Frank and Elmer simultaneously as professors of the sacred mysteries, and as two hungry boys who were starved at Mitzpah and were going to catch up tonight.

Starting point is 04:47:28 Fried chicken, creamed, chipped beef, homemade sausages, pickles, and minced pie in what Elmer suspected, and gratefully suspected, the presence of unrighteous brandy, were the only part of the stout trencher work required of the young prophets. Mr. Baines roared every three minutes at the swollen and suffering Frank. Nonsense, brother, you haven't begun to eat yet. What's the matter with you? Pass up your plate for another helping. Miss Baldwin, the spinster, two other dey. Two other dey,

Starting point is 04:48:08 Eakins and their wives and a young man from a nearby farm, one Floyd Naylor, were present, and their clergy were also expected to be instructive. The theories were that they cared to talk of nothing save theology and the church, and second that such talk was somehow beneficial in the tricky business of enjoying your sleep and buggy riding and vittles, and still getting into heaven. "'Say, Brother Gantry,' said Mrs. Baines, "'what Baptist paper do you like best for home reading?' "'I tried the watchman examiner for a while,

Starting point is 04:48:50 "'but it don't seem, to me, it lambas'd the Camberites like it ought to, "'or gives the Catholics what for, "'like a real earnest Christian sheet ought to. "'I've started taking the word and way. "'Now there's a my mind. mighty, sound paper, that don't mince matters none, and written real elegant, just suits me. He tells you straight out from the shoulder that if you don't believe in the virgin birth and the resurrection, atonement, and immersion, then it don't make no difference about your so-called

Starting point is 04:49:29 good works and charity in all that, because you're doomed and bound to go straight to hell, and not no make-believe hell either, but a real, gosh, awful, terrible bed of sure enough coals. Yes, sir. Oh, look here now, Brother Baines. You don't mean to say, you think that the Lord Jesus isn't going to save one single solitary person who isn't an Orthodox Baptist? Well, I don't profess to know all these things myself, like I was a high-toned preacher, but the way I see it, oh yes, maybe if a fellow isn't ever had a chance to see the light, say he was brought up in a Methodist or a Mormon and never heard a real diet in the Will Baptist explained the complete truth, then maybe God might forgive him because he was ignorant. But one thing I do know absolute, all these advanced thinkers and higher critics are going to

Starting point is 04:50:41 the hottest pit of hell. What do you think about that, brother Gantry? Personally, I'm much inclined to agree with you, Elmer gloated, but anyway, we can safely leave it to the mercy of God to take care of wobblers and cowards, and gas bags like these alleged advanced thinkers, when they treacherously weaken our efforts at soul-savings out here in the field and go in for a lot of cussing and disgusting and fussing around with a lot of fool speculation, that don't do anybody, any practical good in the great work of bringing poor suffering, souls to peace, and then I'm too busy to waste my time on it. That's all.

Starting point is 04:51:30 And I wouldn't care one bit if they heard me and knew it. Fact, that's the only trouble with Brother Shalard here. I know he has the grace of God in his heart, but he will waste time worrying over a lot of doctrines when everything set down in Baptist tradition, and that's all you need to know. I want you to think about that, Frank. Elmer had recovered.

Starting point is 04:51:59 He enjoyed defying lightning, provided it was lightning no more dynamic than Frank was likely to furnish. He looked at Frank squarely. It was perhaps half an hour since they're talking a bedroom. Frank opened his mouth twice and closed it. Then it was too late. Deacon Baines was already overwhelming him with regeneration and mince pie. Part 7. lulu was at the other end of the table from elmer he was rather relieved he despised frank's weakness but he was nevertheless as with eddy fizzlinger sure what frank would do or say

Starting point is 04:52:46 and he determined to be cautious. Once or twice he glanced at Lulu intimately, but he kept all his conversation, which for Lulu's admiration, he tried to make learned yet virile, for Mr. Baines and the other deacons. There, he reflected, now shallard the damned fool, ought to see what I'm not trying to grab off the kid. If he makes any breaks about what are my intentions to her. I'll just be astonished and get Mr. Frank shallered in bed, curse him and his dirty, sneaking suspicions. But God, I've got to have her, said all the tumultuous smoky beans in the lowest layer of his mind, and he answered them only with an apprehensive, watch out, be careful.

Starting point is 04:53:41 Dean Trosper would bust you. Old Baines would grab his shotgun. Be careful. Wait. Not till an hour after supper. When the others were bending over the corn-popper, did he have the chance to whisper to her? Don't trust Shallard. Pretends to be a friend of mine.

Starting point is 04:54:04 Couldn't trust him with a plugged nickel. Got to tell you about him. Got to. Listen. Slip down after the others go up to bed. I'll be down here. must. Oh, I can't. Cousin Adeline Baldwin is sleeping with me. Well, pretend to get ready to go to bed, start and do your hair or something, and then come down to see if the fire is all right. Will you?

Starting point is 04:54:35 Maybe. Oh, you must, please, dear. Maybe, but I can't stay but just a second. most virtuously, almost ministerially. Oh, of course. They all set after supper in the sitting-room. The Bainsies prided themselves on having advanced so far socially that they did not spend the evenings in the kitchen, dining-room, always. The sitting-room had the homeliness of a New England farmhouse with hectically striped rag carpets, an amazing patent rocker with Corinthian knobs and brass dragons feet, crayon enlargement, a table piled with farm and fireside and modern Priscilla, and the enormous volume of pictures of the Chicago's World Fair. There was no fireplace, but the stove was a cheery monster of nickel and mica,

Starting point is 04:55:37 with a jolly brass crown more golden than gold, and around the glaring belly a chain of glass sapphires, glass emeralds, and hot glass rubies. Beside the stove's gorgeous cheerfulness, Elmer turned on his spiritual faucet and worked at being charming. Now don't you folks dare say one word about church affairs this evening? I'm not going to be a preacher. I'm just going to be a youngster and kick up my heels in the pasture

Starting point is 04:56:10 after that lovely supper, and I declared to goodness if I didn't know she was a strict mother in Zion, I'd make Mother Baines dance with me. Bet she could shake as pretty a pair of heels as any of those art dancers in the theater. And encircling that squashy and billowing waist, he thrice whirled her around while she blushed and giggled.

Starting point is 04:56:36 Why, the very I'd be! The others applauded with unsbaring plow-hearted hands, cracking the shy ears of Frank Shalard. Part 8 Always Frank had been known as an uncommonly amiable youth, but tonight he was sour as Alam. It was Elmer who told them stories of the Pioneer, Kansas he knew so well, from reading. it was Elmer who started them popping corn in the parlor stove after their first uneasiness at being human in the presence of men of God. During this festivity, when even the most decorous deacon chuckled and admonished Mr. Baines,

Starting point is 04:57:25 Hey, who are you shoveling there, Barney? Elmer was able to provide publicity and make his rendezvous with Lulu. More jolly than ever then, hence to like, shiny from buttered popcorn, he heard them to the parlor organ, on which Lulu operated with innocent glee and not much knowledge. Out of duty to the cloth, they had to begin singing blessed assurance, but presently he had them basking in, seeing Nellie home and old black Joe, all the while he was quivering with the promise of soft adventure to come. It only added to his rapture that the young neighboring farmer, Floyd Naylor,

Starting point is 04:58:12 kin of the Baines family, a tall young man, but awkward, was also mooning at Lulu, longing but shy. They wound up with Bulealand, played by Lulu, and his voice was very soothing, very touching and tender. Oh, Bulealand, sweet Buleleland, you little darling, as on the highest mount I stand, I wonder if I kind of look pathetic. Would she baby me?

Starting point is 04:58:44 I look away across the sea, oh, I'll be good, won't go too far, where the mansions are prepared for me, her wrist while she plays, like to kiss them, and view the shining glory shore, going to buy thunder to-night. My heaven, my home, forevermore,

Starting point is 04:59:04 I wonder if she'll come down the stairs and a rapper. I just wish I knew, said the wife of one of the deacons, a sentimental and lively lady, what you were thinking of while we sang, Brother Gantry? Why, I was thinking how happy we'll all be when we are purified and at rest in Buehola Land. My, I knew it was something religious. You sang so sort of happy and inspired?

Starting point is 04:59:34 "'Well, we must be going. "'It's been such a lovely evening, Sister Baines. "'We just don't know how to thank you and Brother Baines. "'Yes, and Brother Gantry, too, for such a fine time. "'Oh, and Brother Shalard, of course. "'Come on, Charlie.' "'Charlie, as well as the other deacons, "'had vanished into the kitchen after Brother Baines.

Starting point is 05:00:00 "'There was a hollow noise, as of a jug-mout. while the ladies and the clergy talking loudly looked tolerant. The men appeared at the door wiping their mouths with the hairy backs of their paws. Part 9. After the tremendous leave-taking to a yawning host, Elmer suggested, If it won't bother you and Sister Baines, I'm going to stay down here by the fire a few minutes

Starting point is 05:00:29 and complete my notes for my sermon tomorrow. And then I won't keep brink. brother shallered awake. Fine, fine. Aw. Excuse me, so sleepy. The house is yours, my boy. Brother, good night.

Starting point is 05:00:50 Good night, good night, brother, Baines. Good night, sister Baines. Good night, Sister Luloo. Night, Frank. The room was far more boisterous when he was left alone in it. It reeled and clamored. He paced, nervously smiting the palm of his left hand, stopping in fever to listen. Time crawling forever.

Starting point is 05:01:16 She would not come. Creep-mouse rustle on the stairs, reluctant tiptoe in the hall. His whole torso swelled with longing. He threw back his arms, fist down by his side, chin up, like the statue of Nathan Hale. But when she edged, in, he was enacting the kindly burly pastor, an elbow on the corner of the parlor organ, two fingers playing with his massy watch chain, his expression benevolent and amused. She was not in a dressing gown. She wore her blue frock unaltered, but she had let down her hair

Starting point is 05:01:59 and its pale silkiness shone round her throat. She looked at him, besiecese. She looked at him, Easingly. Instantly, he changed his pose and dashed at her with a little boy's cry. Oh, Lou, I can't tell you how Frank hurt me. What? What? Very naturally, as with unquestioning intimacy, he put his arm about her shoulder. Let his fingertips rejoice in her hair. Oh, it's terrible. Frank ought to know me. But what do you think he said?

Starting point is 05:02:36 Oh, he didn't dare come right out and say it, not to me, but he hinted around and insinuated and suggested that you and I were misbehaving there in the church when we were talking. And you remember what we were talking about? About my mother, and how beautiful and lovely she used to be and how much you're like her. Don't you think that's rotten of him? Oh, I do. I think it's just dreadful. I never did like him. In her sympathy, she had neglected to slip out from under his arm. Well, come sit down beside me here on the couch, dear. Oh, I mustn't, moving with him toward the couch. I've just got to get back upstairs, cousin Adeline, she's suspicious. We'll both go up right away,

Starting point is 05:03:33 but this thing upset me, so I wouldn't think a big clumsy like me could be so sensitive a chump, would you? He drew her close. She snuggled in beside him, unstuggling and sighing. Oh, I do understand, Elmer, and I think it's dandy. I mean, it's lovely, when a man can be so big and strong and still have fine feelings. but honest, I must go. Must go, dear. Now.

Starting point is 05:04:10 Yes, won't let you, lest you say it. Must go, dear. She had sprung up, but he held her hand, kissed her fingertips, looked up at her with plaintive affection. Poor boy, did I make it all well? She had snatched away her hand. she had swiftly kissed his temple and fled. He tramped the floor quite daft,

Starting point is 05:04:38 now soaringly triumphed and now blackly longing. Part nine. During their handcar returned to Babylon and the seminary, Elmer and Frank had little to say. Don't be such a grouch. Honest, I'm not trying to get funny with a little Lulu, Elmer grumbled, patting as he pumped the handcar. grotesque in cabin muffler.

Starting point is 05:05:05 All right, all right, forget it, said Frank. Elmer endured till Wednesday. For two days he had been hag-ridden by plans to capture Lulu. They had become so plain to him that he seemed to be living them as they slumped on the side of his cot. His fists clenched his eyes absent. In his dream he squandered a whole two dollars and a half for a livery rig for the evening and drove to Shonheim. He hitched it at that big oak a quarter of a mile from

Starting point is 05:05:40 the Baines farmhouse. In the moonlight, he would see the rounded and cratered lump of the oak trunk where limb had been cut off. He crept into the farmyard hid by the corn crib, cold but excited. She came to the door with a dishpan of water, stood sideways in the light, her gingham work dress molded to the curve from shoulder to breast. He whistled to her. She started, came toward him with doubtful feet, cried with gladness when she saw who it was. She could not stay with him till the work was done, but she insisted that he wait in the stable. There was a little. There was a little. There was a little. the warmth of the cows, their sweet order, and a scent of hay. He sat on a manger edge in the darkness, enraptured yet so ardent that he trembled as with fear. The barn door edged open, with a flash of moonlight, she came toward him, reluctant, fascinated. He did not stir. She moved entranced, straight into his arms. They set together on a pile of hay,

Starting point is 05:07:00 taught with passion, unspeaking, and his hand smoothed her ankle. And again, in his fancies, it was at the church that she yielded. For some reason not quite planned, he was there without Frank on a weekday evening, and she sat beside him on a pew. He could hear himself arguing,

Starting point is 05:07:27 that she was to trust him, that their love partook of the divine, even while he was fondling her. But suppose it were Deacon Baines, who came to his whistle, and found him sneaking in the barnyard. Suppose she declined to be romantic in cow barns, and just what excuse had he for spending an evening with her at church? But over and over, sitting on his own. his cot, lying half asleep with the covers clutched desperately. He lived his imaginings till he could not

Starting point is 05:08:04 endure it. Not till Wednesday morning did it occur to the Reverend Elmer Gantry, that he needed not to sneak in prowl, not necessarily, no matter what his custom had been, and that there was nothing to prevent his openly calling on her. Nor did he spend any two dollars and a half for a carry Despite his florid magnificence, he was really a very poor young man. He walked to Schoenheim, not in a vision now but in reality, starting at five in the afternoon, carrying a ham sandwich for his supper. Walked the railroad track, the cold highs echoing under his heavy tread. He arrived at eight.

Starting point is 05:08:51 He was certain that, coming so very late, his parents would not stay up to annoy him. for more than an hour. They were likely to ask him to remain for the night, and there would be no snooping cousin Adeline Baldwin about. Mr. Baines opened to his knock. Well, well, brother Gantry, what brings you down to this part of the world this time of night? Calm in, calm in.

Starting point is 05:09:20 I sort of thought I needed a good long walk, been studying too hard, and I took a chance on your letting me stop in and warm myself. Well, sir, by golly, brother, I'd been mad as a wet hen if you hadn't stopped. This is your house, and there's always an extra plate to slap on the table. Yes, sir. Had your supper? Sandwich? Enough.

Starting point is 05:09:48 Foolishness. We'll have the women folks fix you up something in two shakes. The woman and Lulu. They're still out in the kitchen. Lulu! Oh, I mustn't stop. So terribly far back to town and so late, shouldn't have walked so far.

Starting point is 05:10:07 You don't have to step your foot out of the house tonight, brother. You stay right here. When Lulu saw him, her tranced eyes said, And did you come all this way for me? She was more softly desirable than he had fancied, warmed and swollen with fried eggs and admiration, he sat with him in the parlor, narrating more or less possible incidents of his campaign

Starting point is 05:10:35 for the righteousness in Kansas, till Mr. Baines began to yawn. By golly, ten minutes after nine, don't know how it got to be so late. Ma, I guess it's about time to turn in. Elmer lunged gallantly. Well, you can go to bed, but we being young folks, we're going to sit up and tell each other our middle names. I'm no preacher on weekdays. I'm just a student by Jiminy.

Starting point is 05:11:05 Well, if you call this the weekday looks like a weeknight to me, brother. Everybody laughed. She was in his arms on the couch before her father had yawn and coughed up the stairs. She was in his arms, thimp, unreasoning at midnight. After long stillness in the chilling room, she set up hastily at two and figured her ruffled hair. Oh, I'm frightened, she whispered. He tried to pat her comfortably, but there was not much heart in him now. But it doesn't matter. When shall we be married?

Starting point is 05:11:43 She fluttered. And then there was no heart in him at all, but only a lump of terror. once or twice in his visions he had considered that there might be danger of having to marry her he had determined that marriage would cramp his style in advancement in the church and that anyway he didn't want to marry this brainless little fluffy chick who would be of no help in impressing rich parishioners but that caution he had utterly forgotten any motion and her question was authentically a surprise abominably a shock. Thus in a whirling thought, even while he mumbled, Well, I don't think we can decide yet. Ought to wait till I have time to look around after I graduate

Starting point is 05:12:38 and get settled in some good pesterate. Yes, perhaps we ought, she said meekly to her man, the best and most learned and strongest, and much the most interesting person. she had ever known. So you mustn't mention that to anybody, Lou. Not even your folks. They might not understand, like you do,

Starting point is 05:13:02 how hard it is for a preacher to get his first real church. Oh, yes, dear. Oh, kiss me. And he had to kiss her any number of times in that ghastly cold room before he could escape to his chamber. He sat on his bed an expression of sickness, complaining.

Starting point is 05:13:26 Hail! I oughtn't to have gone so far. I thought she'd resist more. Ah, it wasn't worth all this risk. Ah! She's a dumb as a cow, poor little thing. His charity made him feel beneficent again. Sorry for her, but good God,

Starting point is 05:13:47 she is so wishy-washy. Her fault, really, but... Ah, I was a fool. Well, fella has to stand right up and face his faults honestly. I do. I don't excuse myself. I'm not afraid to admit my faults and repent. So he was able to go to bed, admiring his own virtue and almost forgiving her.

Starting point is 05:14:15 End of Section 10. Section 1 of Elmer Gantry. This is a Libravox recording. All LibraVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Libravox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 11, Chapter 8, Part 1 The Ardor of Lulu,

Starting point is 05:14:48 the pride of having his own church at Sherinheim, the pleasure of watching Frank Schallard puff in agony over the hand car, all these did not make up to Elmer for his boredom in seminary classes from Monday to Friday. That boredom which all preachers save a few sporting country parsons, a few managers of factory-like institutional churches, must endure throughout their lives. Often he thought of resigning and going into business, since buttery words and an important manner would be as valuable in business as in the church,

Starting point is 05:15:31 the class to which he gave the most reverent attention was that of Mr. Ben T. Bondstock, professor of oratory and literature, an instructor in voice culture. Under him, Elmer had been learning an ever more golden yet steel-strong pulpit manner, learning not to split infinitives in public, learning that references to Dickens, Victor Hugo, James Whitcomb Riley, Josh Billings, and Michelangelo gave to a sermon a very tony Chicago heir. Elmer's eloquence increased

Starting point is 05:16:13 like an August pumpkin. He went into the woods to practice. one day a small boy came up behind him standing on a stump in a clearing and upon being greeted with i denounce the abomination of your lascivious and voluptuous abominations he fled yelping and never again was the same carefree youth in moments when he was certain that he really could continue with the easy but dull wife of the ministry Elmer gave heed to Dean Trusper's lectures in practical theology and in homiletics. Dr. Trasper told the aspiring holy clerks what to say when they called on the sick, how to avoid being compromised by choir singers, how to remember edifying or laugh-wrapping anecdotes by cataloging them, and how to prepare sermons when they had nothing to say, in what books they could find the best predigested sermon outlines, and, most useful of all,

Starting point is 05:17:28 how to raise money. Eddie Fislinger's notebook on the practical theology lectures, which Elmer viewed as Elmer's notebook also, before examinations, was crammed with such practical theology as pastoral visiting. No partiality. Don't neglect hired girls. Be cordial. Guard conversation. Pleasing manner and laugh and maybe one funny story, but no scandal or criticism of others. Stay only 15 to 30 minutes. Ask if like to pray with, not insist. Remark great opportunities during sickness. sorrow, marriage, ask jokingly why husband not oftener to church? The course in hymnology Elmer found tolerable. The courses in New Testament interpretation, church history, theology, missions, and comparative religions,

Starting point is 05:18:37 he stolidly endured and warmly cursed. Who the Dickens cared whether Andoniram Judson became. a Baptist by reading his Greek New Testament? While this fuss about a lot of prophecies and revelations, he wasn't going to preach that highbrow stuff, and expecting them to make something out of this fili-oque argument in theology? Foolish. The teachers of New Testament and church history were ministers whom admiring but bored metropolitan congregations had kicked upstairs. To both of them, polite deacons had said, we consider you essentially scholarly, brother, rather than pastoral. Very scholarly.

Starting point is 05:19:32 We're pulling wires to get you the high honor that's your due election to the chair in one of the Baptist seminaries. While they may pay a little less, you'll have much more of the honor you so richly deserve, and lots easier work, as you might say. The great ral savants had accepted, and they were spending the rest of their lives, reading 15th-hand opinions, taking pleasant naps, and drooling out to yawning students, the anemic and wordy bookishness which they called learning. But the worst of Elmer's annoyances were the courses given by Dr. Bruno Zech, professor of Greek, Hebrew, and Old Testament exegesis.

Starting point is 05:20:23 Bruno Zechlin was a Ph.D. of Bonn. An STD of Edinburgh, he was one of the dozen authentic scholars in all of the theological institutions of America. And, incidentally, he was a thorough failure. He lectured haltingly. He wrote obscurely. He could not talk to God. as though he knew him personally, and he could not be friendly with numskulls.

Starting point is 05:20:53 Mizpah Seminary belonged to the right wing of the Baptist. It represented what was 20 years later to be known as fundamentalism. And in Mizpah, Dr. Zekeland had been suspected of heresy. He also had a heathenish, tawny German beard, and he had been born not in Kansas, Ohio, but in a city ridiculously named Frankfurt. Elmer despised him, because of the beard, because he was enthusiastic about Hebrew syntax, because he had no useful tips for ambitious young professional prophets, and because he had seemed singularly to enjoy flunking Elmer in Greek.

Starting point is 05:21:46 which elmer was making up with a flinching courage piteous to behold but frank shallard loved dr zekelin him alone among the members of the faculty part two frank shallard's father was a baptist minister sweet-tempered bookish mildly liberal not unsuccessful his mother was a main-lying family he was a man-line family he was a man-line family he was a family, slightly run to seed. He was born in Harrisburg and reared in Pittsburgh, always under the shadow of the spires, in this case a kindly shadow and serene, though his father did labor long at family prayers and instruct his young to avoid all-worldly pollution, which included dancing, the theater, and the biddeness works of Ballzac. There was talk of sense. sending Frank to Brown University or Pennsylvania, but when he was 15, his father had a call to a large church in Cleveland, and it was the faculty of Oberlin College in Ohio, who interpreted and enriched for Frank the Christian testimony to be found in plautrus, Homer, calculus, basketball, and the history of the French Revolution. there was a good deal of the natural poet in him and is not too rarely the case with poets something of the reasoning and scientific mind but both imagination and reason had been submerged in a religion in which doubt

Starting point is 05:23:34 not only sinful, but much worse, in bad taste. The flare which might have turned to roses in singing, or to banners and bravado, or to pity of hopeless toilers, had been absorbed in the terrible majesty of the Jew Jehovah, the brooding mercy of our Lord, the tales of his birth-jeweled kings, and the shepherd's campfire,

Starting point is 05:24:02 the looming star and the baby, in the manger. Myths bright as enamel buds, and he was bemused by the mysteries of revelation, and Alice in Wonderland wearing a dragon's mask. Not only had he been swathed in theology, but all his experience had been in books instead of in the speech of toiling men. He had been a solitary in college, generous but fastidious, jarred by his classmates, belching, and sudden laughter. His reasoning had been introverted, turned from an examination of men as mammals, and devoted to a sorrow but sinful and aching souls that would not more readily seek the security of a mystic process known as conviction, repentance, and salvation,

Starting point is 05:25:01 which he was assured by the novelist and most literate men he had ever known, was guaranteed to cure all woe. His own experience did not absolutely confirm this. Even after he had been quite ecstatically saved, he found himself falling into deep still furies at the familiarities of hobbohoys, still peeping at the arching bodies of girls, but that he assured himself was merely because he hadn't gone on to perfection. There were doubts.

Starting point is 05:25:42 The Old Testament, God's habit of desiring the reeking slaughter of everyone who did not flatter him, seemed rather antisocial, and he wondered, whether all the wantoning and the song of Solomon did really refer to the loyalty between Christ and the church? It seemed unlike the sessions of Oberlin Chapel and the Miller Avenue Baptist Church of Cleveland, Ohio. Could Solomon just possibly refer to the relations between beings more mundane and frisky? Such qualities of reason as he had, Frank devoted not to examining the testimony, which is doubting, sniffed out, but to examining and banishing the doubt itself. He had it as an axiom that doubt was wicked, and he was able to enjoy considerable ingenuity in exercising it. he had a good deal of self-esteem and pleasure among the purple broidered ambiguities of religion that he would become a minister had always been assumed

Starting point is 05:26:59 he had no such definite and ecstatic call as came to elmer gantry but he had always known that he would go on nibbling at theories about the eucharist and pointing men the way to uncharted plateaus called righteousness, idealism, honesty, sacrifices, beauty, and salvation. Curly flaxen hair, clear skin, fine nose, set her eyes, straight back, Frank was a pleasant-looking young man at 23 in his senior year at Mizpah Seminary. He was the favorite of Dean Trosper, of the professor of New Testament interpretation. His marks were high, his manner was respectful, and his attendance was perfect. But his master among the faculty

Starting point is 05:27:55 was the stammering and stumbling, Bruno Zechlin, that bearded advocate of Hebrew syntax, that suspected victim of German beer and German rationalism, and Frank was the only story, of his generation whom Dr. Zekhlin chose as confidant. During Frank's first year in Miespah, Zeklin and he were merely polite to each other.

Starting point is 05:28:25 They watched each other and respected each other and remained aloof. Frank was diffident before Dr. Zeklin's learning, and in the end it was Zeklin who offered friendship. He was a lonely man. He was a bachelor, and he despised all of his colleagues whom he did not fear. Particularly, he disliked being called Brother Zekhlin by active long-legged brain preachers from the bush. At the beginning of Frank's second year in Miespa, he was worried, once in the Old Testament exegesis class, Professor Zacklin,

Starting point is 05:29:10 I wish you would explain an apparent biblical inconsistency to me. It says in John, someplace in the first chapter, I think it is, that no man hath seen God at any time. And then in Timothy, it states definitely about God, whom no man hath seen nor can see, And yet, in Exodus 24, Moses and more than 70 others did see him with pavement under his feet, and Isaiah and Amos say they saw him, and God especially arranged for Moses to see part of him. And there too, God told Moses that nobody could stand seeing his face and live,

Starting point is 05:30:06 But Jacob naturally wrestled with God and saw him face to face and did live. Honestly, Professor, I'm not trying to raise doubts, but there does seem to be an inconsistency there, and I wish I could find their proper explanation. Dr. Zecline looked at him with a curious, fuzzy brightness. What do you mean by a proper explanation? "'So we can explain these things to young people "'that might be bothered by them. "'Well, it's rather complicated.

Starting point is 05:30:49 "'If you'll come to my rooms after supper tonight, "'I'll try to make it clear.' "'But when Frank Shiley came calling, "'and Dr. Zaykling exaggerated when he spoke of his rooms, "'for he had only a book-lettered study, with an alcove bedroom in the house of an osteopath. He did not at all try to make it clear. He hinted about to discover Frank's opinion and smoking and gave him a cigar.

Starting point is 05:31:24 He encased himself in a musty armchair and queried, Do you ever feel a little doubt about the literal interpretation of our Old Testament, shallard? He sounded kind, very understanding. I don't know. Yes, I do. I don't like to call them doubts. Why not call them doubts? Doubting is a very healthy sign,

Starting point is 05:31:55 especially in the young. Don't you see that otherwise you'd simply be savallowing instructions whole and no infallible human instructor? Can't always be right, do you think? That began it. Began a talk always cautious, increasingly frank, which lasted till midnight. Dr. Zekylline lent him, with the adjuration not to let anyone else see them, reyndons Jesus, and coves the religion of a mature mind.

Starting point is 05:32:34 Frank came again to his room, and they walked, strolling, together through sweet apple orchards, unconscious even of the Indian summer pastures, in their concentration on the destiny of man and the grasping gods. Not for three months did Zichelin admit he was an agnostic, and not for another month that atheist would be a sounder name for him than agnostic. Before ever he had taken his theological doctorate, Zeklind had felt it was as impossible to take literally the myths of Christianity as to take literally the myths of Buddhism. But for many years he had rationalized his heresies. Those myths, he comforted himself, are symbols embodying the glory of God and the leadership of

Starting point is 05:33:35 Christ's genius. He had worked out a satisfying parable. The literalist, said he, asserts that a flag is something holy, something to die for, not symbolically, but in itself. The infidel at the other end of the scale maintains that the flag is a strip of wool or silk or cotton, with rather unathetic marks. printed on it, and of considerably less use, therefore, of less holiness and less romance than a shirt or a blanket. But to the unprejudiced thinker, like himself, it was a symbol,

Starting point is 05:34:23 sacred only by suggestion, but not the less sacred. After nearly two decades, he knew that he had been fooling himself, that he did not actually admire Jesus as the sole leader, that the teachings of Jesus were contradictory and borrowed from earlier rabbis, and that if the teachings of Christianity were adequate flags, symbols, philosophies for most of the bellowing preachers whom he met and detested, then perforce they must for him. be the flags, the symbols of the enemy. Yet he went on as a Baptist preacher as a teacher of ministerial cubs. He tried to explain it to Frank Schallard without seeming too shameful. First, he suggested, it was hard for any man, it was especially hard for a teacher of 65, to go back on the philosophy

Starting point is 05:35:29 he had taught all his life. It made that life seem to be that life seemed. too pitifully futile. And he did not love to tread theological labyrinths. And he admitted, as they plotted back through a winter twilight, he was afraid to come out with the truth

Starting point is 05:35:47 lest he, plain, lose his job. Man of learning he was, but too sorry a preacher to be accepted by a liberal religious society, too lumbering a writer for journalism, And outside the world of religious parasitism, his own phrase, he had no way of earning his living. If he were kicked out of MISPA, he would starve.

Starting point is 05:36:18 Saul, he said frankly, I would hate to see you go through all this, Frank. But what am I to do, Dr. Zeclian? Do you think I ought to get out of the church? Now, while there's time, you have lived in the church, you would probably be lonely without it, maybe you should stay in it, to destroy it. But you wouldn't want it destroyed, even if some details of dogma aren't true, even if all of him think to what a consolation for religion and the church are to weak humanity.

Starting point is 05:37:06 Are they? I wonder. Don't cheerful agnostics, who know they are going to die dead, worry much less than good Baptists, who worry lest their sons and cousins and sweethearts fell to get into Baptist heaven? Or, what is even worse, who wonder if they may not have guessed wrong?

Starting point is 05:37:29 If God may not be a Catholic, maybe, or a Mormon, or a Seventh-day Adventist instead of a Baptist, and then they'll go to hell themselves. Consolation, no. But stay in the church, till you want to get out. Frank stayed. Part 3.

Starting point is 05:37:53 By senior year, he had read many of Dr. Zechelin's bootlegged books. Davenfort's primitive traits in religious, revivals, which asserted that the shoutings and foamings and twitchings at revival meetings were no more sanctified than any other barbaric religious frenzies. Dodds and Sunderland on the origin of the Bible, which indicated that the Bible was no more holy and infallible than Homer. Nathaniel Schmidt's revolutionary life of Jesus, the prophet of Nazareth, and White's history of the warfare of science with theology,

Starting point is 05:38:40 which painted religion as the enemy, not the promoter of human progress. He was, indeed, in a Baptist seminary, a specimen of the young man ruined by godless education whom the Baptist periodicals love to paint. But he stayed. He clung to the church, It was his land, his patriotism, nebulously and quite impractically and altogether miserably,

Starting point is 05:39:11 he planned to give his life to a project called liberalizing the church from within. It was a relief, after his sophistries to have so lively an emotion as his sweet, clear, resounding hatred for, brother, Elmer Gantry. Part 4. Frank had always disliked Elmer's thickness, his glossiness, his smut, and his inability to understand the most elementary abstraction. But Frank was ordinarily no great hater.

Starting point is 05:39:55 And when they went off together to guard the flock at Shernheim, he almost liked Elmer, in his vigorous excitement, beautiful, earthy excitement of an athlete. Frank considered Lulu Baines a Bisk doll, and he would have cherished her like any ten-year-old in his Sunday school class. He saw Elmer's whole body Stephen as he looked at Lulu, and there was nothing he could do about it. He was afraid that if he spoke to Mr. Baines or even to Lulu,

Starting point is 05:40:34 in the explosion Elmer might have to marry her, and suddenly the Frank, who had always accepted the holy institution of matrimony, felt that for a colt-like lulu, any while kicking up of the heels, would be better than being hardest to Elmer's muddy plow. Frank's minister father and his mother went to California for Christmas time, and he spent the holiday with Dr. Zeklin. They too celebrated Christmas Eve

Starting point is 05:41:12 and a very radiant, well-contented, extremely German Vainacht's abint that was. Zeklin had procured a goose, bullied the osteopath's wife into cooking it, with sausages for stuffing and cranberry pancake to flank it. He brewed a punch, not at all, Baptist, it frothed and smelled divinely, and to Frank it brought visions. They sat in old chairs on either side of the round stove, gently waving their punch-glasses

Starting point is 05:41:49 and sang, Steele noct, Heiliegneacht, Alles shloft, Einsome Wacht, "'Nur the troute, "'hoch-heeliger par, "'holler knabre in lunkinging'-har. "'Slaf in himlicher, rue. "'Slaff in heimlicher, rue. "'Ah, yes,' the old man meditated, "'that is the Christ I still dream of.

Starting point is 05:42:29 the child of the shining hair, the dear German Christ's child, the beautiful fairy tale, and your dean trospers made Jesus into a monster that hates youth and laughter. Wein, wife, and gazing, der arme. How unlucky he was, that Christ, not to have the good trospers with him at the wedding feast, to explain that he must not turn the water into wine. I wonder if I am too old to start a little farm with a big vineyard and seven books. Part 5 Elmer Gantry was always very witty about Dr. Bruno Zechling.

Starting point is 05:43:22 Sometimes he called him old fuzzy. Sometimes he said, Koot ought to teach Hebrew, he looks like a page of Yidd himself. Elmer could toss off things like that. The applause of Eddie Fizzlinger, who was heard to say in the hallways and lavatories that Zechelin lacked spirituality, encouraged Elmer to create his masterpiece. Before exegesis class, he printed on the blackboard in a disguised hand, I am fuzzy Zechlin, the gazabo that knows more than God.

Starting point is 05:44:05 If Jake Trusper got into what I really think about inspiration of the scriptures, he had fired me out on my dirty Dutch neck. The assembling students, guffawed, even ponderous brother Carcass, the up creek Calvin. Dr. Zeklin trotted into the classroom, smiling. He read the blackboard inscription. He looked incredulous, then frightened, and peered at his class like an old dog, stoned by hoodlums. He turned and walked out to the laughter of brother Gantry and brother Carcass. It is not recorded how the incident came to Dean Trusper. He summoned Elmer.

Starting point is 05:44:57 suspect it was you who wrote that on the blackboard. Elmer considered lying, then blurted, Yes, I did, Dean. I tell you it's a shame. I don't pretend to have reached a state of Christian perfection, but I'm trying hard, and I think it's a shame. When a man on the faculty is trying to take away our faith by hints and sneers, that's how I feel.

Starting point is 05:45:29 Dean Trusper spoke snappishly. I don't think you need to worry about anybody suggesting new possibilities of sin to you, Brother Gantry, but there is some justification to what you say. Now, go, and sin no more. I still believe that someday you will grow up and turn your vitality into a means of grace, for many, possibly including yourself. Fadeldo? Dr. Bruno Zechling was abruptly retired at Easter.

Starting point is 05:46:12 He went to live with his niece. She was poor and liked bridge and did not want him. He made a little money by translating from the German. He died within two years. Elmer Gantry never knew who sent him 30 dimes wrapped in a tract about holiness, nor why. But he found the sentiments in the tract useful in a sermon, and the 30 dimes he spent for lively photographs of burlesque ladies.

Starting point is 05:46:50 End of Section 11, Chapter 8. Section 12 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. a Libravox recording. All Libravox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Libravox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 12, Chapter 9, Part 1. The relations of Brother Gantry and Brother Shalard were not ardent toward Christmas tide, even in the intimacy of pumping a hand car. Frank complained while they were laboring along the track after church at Shurnheim. Look here, Gantry.

Starting point is 05:47:36 Something's got to be done. I'm not satisfied about you and Lulu. I've caught you looking at each other, and I expect you've been talking to the dean about Dr. Zachlan. I'm afraid I've got to go to the Dane myself. You're not fit to have a pastorate. Elmer stopped pumping. glared, rubbed his mittened hands on his thighs and spoke steadily.

Starting point is 05:48:05 I've been waiting for this. I'm impulsive, sure. I make bad mistakes. Every red-blooded man does. But what about your, I don't know how far you've gone with your hellish doubts. I've been listening to the hedging way you answer questions in Sunday school, and I know you're beginning to wobble. Pretty soon you will be an out-and-out.

Starting point is 05:48:29 liberal God, plotting to weaken the Christian religion to steal away from the weak, groping souls their only hope is salvation. The worst murder that ever lived isn't a criminal like you. That isn't true. I'd die before I'd weaken the faith of anyone who needed it. Then you simply haven't got brains enough to see what you're doing. And there's no place for you in any Christian pulpit. It's me that ought to go to Pop Trosfer, complaining. Just a day, when that girl came to you worrying about her paws, giving up family prayers, you let on like it didn't matter much.

Starting point is 05:49:14 You may have started that poor young lady, on the doubt paved road that leads to everlasting hell. And all the way to Mispa, Frank worried and explained, and at Mitzvah Elmer graciously permitted him to resign his place at Shirenheim and advised him to repent and seek the direction of the Holy Spirit before he should ever attempt another pastorate. Elmer sat in his room flaming with his evangelistic triumph. He was so sincere about it that not for minutes did he reflect that Frank would no longer be an obstacle

Starting point is 05:49:56 to his relations with Lulu Baines. Part 2. A score of times before March, in her own house, in an appendant log barn, at the church, Elmer contrived to have meetings with Lulu. But he worried of her trusting babble. Even her admiration, since she always gushed the same things in the same way, began to irritate him. Her love-making was equally unimaginative.

Starting point is 05:50:29 She always kissed and expected to be kissed in a same way. Even before March, he had had enough, but she was so completely devoted to him that he wondered if he might not have to give up the Shurnheim Church to get rid of her. He felt injured. Nobody could ever say he was unkind to, girls or despise them the way Jim Lefferts used to. He had taught Lulu an awful lot, got her over her hic ideas, showed her how a person could be

Starting point is 05:51:07 religious and still have a good time if you just looked at it, right, and saw that while you ought to teach the highest ideals, nobody could be expected to always and exactly live up to them every day, especially when you were young. and hadn't he given her a bracelet that cost five good bucks? But she was such a darn fool. Never could understand that after a certain point a man wanted to quit love-making and plan his next day sermon, or bone up on his confounded Greek. Practically he felt resentfully she had deceived him.

Starting point is 05:51:51 Here he had thought that she was a nice, safe, unemotional little little. thing, whom it might be pleasant to tease, but who had let him alone when he had more serious matters to attend to. And then she had turned out passionate. She wanted to go on being kissed and kissed and kissed when he was sick of it. Her lips were always creeping around, touching his hand or his cheek when he wanted to talk. She sent him whining little notes at Mitzpah. Suppose somebody found one of them. Golly! She wrote to him that she was just living until their next meeting, trying to bother him and distract his attention when he had a man's work to do. She mooned up at him with her foolish, soft, mushy eyes all through his sermons, absolutely

Starting point is 05:52:44 spoiled his style. She was wearing him out, and he'd have to get rid of her. Hated to do it. Always had been nice to girls, to everybody, but it was for her sake just as much as his. He'd have to be mean to her and make her sore. Part 3. They were alone in the Shirenheim church after morning meeting. She had whispered to him at the door,

Starting point is 05:53:15 I've got something to tell you. He was frightened. He grumbled well. We oughtn't to be seen together so much, but slip back when the other folks are gone. He was sitting on the front pew in the deserted church, reading some hymns for want of better, and she crept behind him and kissed his ear. He jumped. Good Lord, don't go startling people like that, he snarled.

Starting point is 05:53:47 Well, what's all this you have to tell me? She was faltering, nearer to tears. I thought you'd like to hear it. I just wanted to creep close and say I loved you. Well, good heavens, you needn't act as though you were pregnant or something. Elmer! Too shocked in a rustic sense of propriety for resentment? Well, that's just about how you acted, making me wait here, and I've got to be back in town.

Starting point is 05:54:18 Important meeting. and me having to pump that handcar all alone. I do wish you wouldn't act like a ten-year-old kid all the time. Helmer! Oh, Elmer, Elmer, Elmer, that's all very well. I like to play around and be foolish and just as well as anybody, but all this, all the time. She fled round to the front of the pew and knelt by him.

Starting point is 05:54:49 her foolish hand on his knee, prattling in an imitation of baby talk, which infuriated him, Oh, Itham's such quass old bear, Isham's bad old bear, so quas with Lulukins. Lulikins, great John God. Why, Elmer Gantry?

Starting point is 05:55:13 It was the Sunday school teacher who was shopped now. She set up on her knees, Lulukins Of all the damned fool baby talk I ever heard, That takes the cake That's got them all beat, For God's sake, try to talk like a human being,

Starting point is 05:55:33 And don't go squatting there. Suppose someone came in, Are you deliberately trying to work to ruin me, Lululikins? She stood up, fists tight. What have I done? I didn't mean to hurry, you? Oh, I didn't, dearest. Please forgive me. I just came in to surprise you. Huh, you surprised me all right. Dear, please, I'm so sorry. Why, you call me Lululugans yourself.

Starting point is 05:56:08 I never did. She was silent. Besides, if I did, I was kidding. Patiently trying to puzzle it out, she sat beside him and, I don't know what I've done. I just don't know. Won't you please, oh, please explain, and give me a chance to make up for it? Oh, hell, he sprang up, hat in hand, groping for his overcoat, if you don't understand, I can't waste my time explaining, and was gone. Relieved, but not altogether proud. But by Tuesday he admired himself for his resolution. Tuesday evening came her apology. Not a very good note, blurry, doubtful of spelling, and as she had no notion what she was apologing about, not very lucid. He did not answer it. During his sermon the next Sunday, she looked up at him, waiting to smile, but he took care not to

Starting point is 05:57:16 catch her eye, while he was voluminously explaining the crime of Nada and Abihu, in putting strange fire in their censors, he was thinking with self-admiration, "'Poor little thing, I'm sorry for her, I really am.' He saw that she was loitering at the door behind her parents after the service, but he left half his congregation unhand-shaken and shriven, muttering to Deacon Baines, Sorry, got a hurry way, and fled toward the railroad tracks.

Starting point is 05:57:53 If you're going to act this way and deliberately persecute me, he raged, I'll just have to have a good talk with you, my fine young lady. He waited. This new Tuesday, for another note of apology. There was none, but on Thursday, when he was most innocently having a vanilla milkshake at Hornberry's drugstore near the seminary,

Starting point is 05:58:20 when he felt ever so good and benign and manly, with his mission's theme all finished and two fine five-cent cigars in his pocket, he saw her standing outside, peering in at him. He was alarmed. She looked not quite sane. Suppose she stole her father he groaned. He hated her. He swaggered out gallantly, and he did most,

Starting point is 05:58:50 magniloquently, the proper delight at encountering her here in town. Well, well, well, Lulu, this is such a pleasant surprise, and where's Papa? He and Ma are up at the doctor's office about Ma's eerie. I said I'd meet him at the Boston Bazaar, Elmer. Her voice was like stretched quivering wire. I've got to talk to you. You've got to. Walk down the street with me.

Starting point is 05:59:23 He saw that she had tried to rouge her cheeks. He was not customary in rural Midwest in 1906. She had done it badly. The spring was early. These first few days of March were soft, with buds and Elmer's side, that if she weren't such a tyrannical nagger, He might have felt romantic about her as they walked toward the courthouse lawn,

Starting point is 05:59:48 and the statue of General Sherman. He had expanded her education in boldness as well as vocabulary, and with only a little hesitation, a little bit of peering up at him, a little bit of trying to hook her fingers over his arm till he shook it free. She blurted, "'We've got to do something, because I think I'm going to have any, baby. Oh, good God, almighty hell, said the Reverend Elmigandri,

Starting point is 06:00:19 and I suppose you've gone squealing to your old man and the old woman. No, I haven't. She was quiet and dignified, dignified as a bedraggled gray kitten would be. Well, that's good, anyway. Well, I suppose I'll have to do something about it. Damn. He thought rapidly. From the ladies of joy, whom he knew in the city of monarch, he could obtain information.

Starting point is 06:00:49 But, you look here now, he snarled. It isn't possible. He faced her on the brick walk through the courthouse lawn under the cast-iron wings of the rusty justice. What are you trying to pull? God knows, I most certainly intend to stand up for you in every way, but I don't intend to be bamboozled, not by anybody. What makes you think you're pregnant? Please, please, dear, don't use that word. Huh, say, that's pretty good that is.

Starting point is 06:01:28 Come across now, what makes you think so? She could not look up at him. She looked away at the ground, and his virtuous indignation swooped down on her, as she stammered her reasons. Now no one had taught Rulu Bain's much physiology, and it was evident that she was making up what she considered sound symptoms.

Starting point is 06:01:52 She could only mumble again and again, while tears mucked her clumsy rouge, while her bent fingers tremble at her chin. Oh, yes, I feel so bad, oh, please, dear, don't make me go on explaining. He had enough of it. He gripped her shoulder, not tenderly. Lulu, you're lying.

Starting point is 06:02:16 You have a dirty, lying, deceitful heart. I wondered what it was about you that bothered me and kept me from marrying you. And now I know. Thank God I found out in time. You're lying. Oh, dear, I'm not. Oh, please.

Starting point is 06:02:35 Look here. I'm going to take you to a doctor's right now. get the truth. Oh, no, no, no, please, no, I can't. Why can't you? Oh, please. Uh-huh, and that's all you've got to say for yourself. Come here, look up at me. They must have hurt, his meaty fingers digging into her shoulder, but then he felt righteous. He felt like the Old Testament prophets, whom his sect admired, and he had found something about which he really could quarrel with her. She did not look up at him, for all his pinching. She merely wept hopelessly.

Starting point is 06:03:16 Then you were lying. Oh, I was. Oh, dearest, how can you hurt me like you do? He released his grip and looked polite. Oh, I don't mean hurting my shoulder. That doesn't matter. I mean hurting me, so cold to me. And I thought maybe if we were married,

Starting point is 06:03:39 I'd do everything to make you happy. I'd go wherever you did. I wouldn't mind if we had the tiniest little small house. And you, you, expect a minister of the gospel to share any house with a liar. Oh, you viper that, oh hell, I won't talk like a preacher. I don't suppose I have done altogether right, maybe. Though I noticed you were glad enough to sneak out and meet me places. But when a woman, a Christian, deliberately lies, and tries to deceive a man in his deepest feelings, that's too much, no matter what I did.

Starting point is 06:04:20 Don't you ever dare speak to me again, and if you tell your father about this and force me into marriage, I'll kill myself. Oh, I won't. Honest, I won't. I'll repent my own fault in bitter tears. And as for you, young woman, go and sin no more. He swung round, walked away from her, deaf to her whimperings. She desperately trod it after his giant strides for a while, then leaned against the trunk of a sycamore, while a passing grocery clerk snickered. She did not appear at church the next Sunday.

Starting point is 06:05:04 Elmer was so pleased that he thought of having another rendezvous with her. Part 4 Deacon Baines and his good wife had noticed how pale and absent-minded was their normally bouncing daughter. Just she's in love with that new preacher. Well, let's keep our hands off. Be a nice match for her. Never knew a young preacher that was so filled with the Papa. Talked like a house of fire, by golly, said the deacon as the young.

Starting point is 06:05:38 and stretched in the vast billowy old bed? Then Fred Naler came fretting to the deacon. Floyd was a kinsman of the family, a gangling man of 25, immensely strong, rather stupid, a poor farmer, and very loyal. For years he had buzzed around Lulu. It would be overdramatic to say that he had eaten his faithful heart out in lone reverence. but he had always considered Lulu the most beautiful, sparkling, and profound girl in the universe. Lulu considered him a stick, and Deacon Baines held in a version his opinions on alfalfa.

Starting point is 06:06:23 He was a familiar of the household, rather like a neighbor's dog. Floyd found Deacon Baines in the barnyard, mending a wiffle tree and grunted, say, Cousin Bernie, I'm kind of worried about Lulu. Oh, I guess she's in love with this new preacher. Can't tell. They might get hitched. Yeah, but is brother Gantry in love with her? Somehow I don't like that fella.

Starting point is 06:06:56 Right, you don't appreciate preachers. You never was in a real state of grace. Never did get reborn of the spirit proper. Like hell I didn't. Just got as reborn as you did. Preachers are all right, most of them, but this fellow, Gantry, say, here long about two months ago, I seen him and Lulu walking down the brick schoolhouse road,

Starting point is 06:07:24 and they was hugging and kissing like, oh, get out, and he was calling her sweetheart. huh sure it was there dead certain i was uh well fact is another fellow and me who was she now that don't make no difference anyway we was sitting right here under the maple this side of the schoolhouse in the shade but it was bright moonlight and lulu and this preacher come by near as I am to you, pretty near. Well, think I, I guess they're going to get engaged. Then I hung around the church once, twice after meeting, and one time I kind of peek in the window,

Starting point is 06:08:11 and I seen them right there in the front pew, hugging, like they sure ought to get married, whether or no. I didn't say anything, wanted to wait and see if he'd marry her. Now it ain't any of my business, Barney, but you know I always like Lulu, and strikes me we ought to know if this Bible walloper is going to play straight with her. Yes, maybe that's right. I'll have a talk with her. Baines had never been very observant of his daughter, but Floyd Neeler was not a lawyer, and it was with sharpened eyes that the deacon stumped into the house and found her. standing by the churn, her arms hanging lip. Say, uh, say, Lou, how's things going with you and brother Gantry?

Starting point is 06:09:05 Why, what do you mean? You too engage, going to be engaged? He going to marry you? Of course not. Been making love to you, ain't he? Oh, never. Never hugged you or kissed you? Never.

Starting point is 06:09:25 How far did he go? Oh, he didn't! Why are you being looking so kind of peaked lately? Oh, I just don't feel very well. Oh, I feel fine. It's just that the spring coming on, I guess. She dropped to the floor, and with her head against the churn, her thin fingers beating and hysterical tattoo on the floor,

Starting point is 06:09:51 she choked with weeping. There, there, Lulu. your daddy will do something about it. Florida was waiting in the farmyard. There were, in those parts and those days, not in frequent ceremonies known as shotgun weddings. Part 5. The Reverend Elmer Gantry was reading an illustrated pink periodical

Starting point is 06:10:17 devoted to prize fighters and chorus girls in his room at Elizabeth J. Schmutz Hall, late in afternoon, when two large men walked in without knocking. Why, good evening, Brother Baines, brother Naylor. This is a pleasant surprise. I was a... Did you ever see this horrible rag about actresses? An invention of the devil himself.

Starting point is 06:10:45 I was thinking of denouncing it next Sunday. I hope you never read it. Won't you sit down, gentlemen? Take this chair. I hope you've never read him, Brother Floyd, because the country, exploded deacon beings, I want you to take your footstep right now and turn him toward my house. You've been fooling with my daughter, and either you're going to marry her, or Floyd and me are going to take it out of your hide, and the way I feel just now, I don't much care which it is.

Starting point is 06:11:22 You mean to say that Lulu has been pretending? No, Lulu ain't saying nothing. God, I wonder if I ought to let the girl marry a fella like you. I got to protect her good name. And guess Floyd and me can see to it, you give her a square deal after the marriage. Now I've sent out word to invite all the neighbors to the house tonight for a little sociable. To tell him Lulu and you are engaged, and you're going to put on your Sunday go to meeting suit and come with us right now. You can't bully me into anything. Take that side of him, Floyd, and I'll get in the first lick. You get what's left. They ranged up beside him. They were shorter, less broad, but their faces were like tanned, hard leather. Their eyes were hard.

Starting point is 06:12:19 Wow, you're a big cuss, brother Gantry, but guess you don't get it. enough exercise no more. Pretty soft, considered Deacon Baines. His fist was dropping down, down to his knees, his shoulders sloped down, his fist was coming up, and Floyd had suddenly pinioned Elmer's arms.

Starting point is 06:12:39 I'll do it, all right, all right, Elmer shrieked. He'll find a way to break the engagement. Already he was recovering his poise. Now you fellows, listen to me. I'm in love with Lulu, and I intend to Ask her the moment I've finished here, less than three months now, and get my first church. And then you two butt in and try to spoil this romance.

Starting point is 06:13:05 Hmm, yes, I guess so, Bain's drone, inexpressible contempt in his dragging voice. You save all them pretty words for Lulu. You're going to be married the middle of May. That'll give time enough after the engagement, so the neighbors won't think there's anything wrong. Now get into them clothes, buggy waiting outside. We'll treat you right. If you use Lulu like you ought to and honey you're up and make her feel happy again,

Starting point is 06:13:38 maybe Floyd and I won't kill you the night of your wedding. We'll see. And we'll always treat you fine in public. Won't even laugh when we hear you preaching. Now get, hear me? While he dressed, Elmer was able to keep his face turned from them, able to compose himself, so that he could suddenly whirl on them with his handsomest,

Starting point is 06:14:05 his most manly and winning smile. Brother Baines, I want to thank Cousin Floyd and you. You're dead wrong about thinking I wouldn't have done right by Lulu. But I rejoice, sir, rejoice, that she is blessed by her. having such loyal relatives. That puzzle rather than captured them, but he fetched them complete with a jovial, and such husky ones. I'm pretty strong myself. Keep up my exercises, a lot more than you think, but I guess I wouldn't be one, two, three with you folks. Good thing for old Elmer, you never let loose that darn mule kick of your brother Baines. And you're right, no sort. No,

Starting point is 06:14:51 since putting off the wedding. May 15th will be fine. Now I want to ask you one thing. Let me have ten minutes alone with Lou before you make the announcement. I want to console her. Make her happy. Oh, you can tell if I keep faith the eagle eyes of a father will know. Well, my father's eagle eye ain't being working none too good lately, but I guess it'll be a right for you to see her. now will you shake hands please he was so big so radiant so confident they looked sheepish grinned like farmers flattered by a politician and shook hands there was a multitude at the baines also fried chicken and watermelon pickles the deacon brought lulu to elmere in the spare room and left her elmer was at ease on the sofa she stood before him trembling and red-eyed. Come, you poor child, he condescended.

Starting point is 06:15:57 She approached sobbing. Honestly, dear, I didn't tell Paul anything. I didn't ask him to do it. Oh, I don't want to if you don't. There, there, child, it's all right. I'm sure you'll make a fine wife. Sit down. And he permitted her to kiss his hand,

Starting point is 06:16:17 so that she became very happy and wept, tremendously, and went out to her father rejoicing. He considered, meanwhile, that ought to hold you, damn you, now I'll figure out some way of getting out of this mess. At the announcement of Lulu's engagement to a man of God, the crowd gave course and holy cheers. Elmer made quite a long speech, into which he brought all that holy writ,

Starting point is 06:16:46 had to say about the relations of the sexes, That is all he remembered, and that could be quoted in mixed company. Go on, brother, kiss her, they clambered, and he did heartily, so heartily, that he felt curious stirrings. He spent the night there, and was so full of holy affection, that when the family was asleep, he crept into Lulu's bedroom. She stirred on the pillow and whispered, Oh, my darling, and you forgave me. Oh, I do love you so, as he kissed her fragrant hair.

Starting point is 06:17:28 Part six. It was usual for the students of Mizpah to let Dean Trosperin know if they should become engaged. The dean recommended them for ministerial appointments, and the status of marriage made a difference. bachelors were more likely to become assistants in large city churches. Married men, particularly those whose wives had lively piety and knowledge of cooking, were usually sent to small churches of their own. The dean summoned Elmer to his gloomy house on the edge of the campus.

Starting point is 06:18:06 It was a house with smell of cabbage and wet ashes and demanded, gantry, just what is this? business about you and some girl at Sherenheim. Why, Dean, in her gratitude, I'm engaged to a fine young lady there, daughter of one of my deacons. Well, that's good. It's better to marry than to burn,

Starting point is 06:18:31 or at least, so it has stated in the scriptures. Now, I don't want any monkey business about this. A preacher must walk circumspectly. You must shun the very appearance of either I hope you will love and cherish her, and seems to me it would be well, not only to be engaged to her, but even to marry her, Thadeldo. Now what the depth did he mean by that, protested Percival, as he went home. Part 7. He had to work quickly. He had less than two months before the threatened marriage. If he could entangle Lulu with someone,

Starting point is 06:19:16 hmm, what about Floyd Naler? The fool-loat her? He spent as much time in Shurnheim as possible, not only with Lulu, but with Floyd. He played all his warm incandescence on Floyd, and turned that trusting drudge from enemy into admiring friend. One day, when Floyd and he were walking together to the hands, End car, Elmer purred.

Starting point is 06:19:44 Say, Floydy, some ways it's kind of a shame Lou's going to marry me and not you. You're so steady and hard-working and patient. I fly off the handle too easy. Oh, gosh, no, I ain't smart enough for her, Elmer. She ought to marry a fellow with a lot of book-orin like you, and it dresses swell so she can be in society and every, her thing. But I guess you liked her pretty well yourself, eh? You got to, sweetest girl in the whole world. You kind of liked her. Yeah, I guess I did. I, oh well, rats, I ain't good enough for her, God bless her.

Starting point is 06:20:30 Elmer spoke of Floyd as a future cousin and professed his fondness for him, his admiration of the young man's qualities and admirable singing. Floyd Naylor sang about as Floyd Naler would have some Elmer spoke of him as a future cousin and wanted to see a deal of him he praised Lulu and Floyd to each other and left them together as often as he could contrive

Starting point is 06:21:00 slipping back to watch them through the window but to his indignation they merely sat and talked then he had a week in Shernheim the whole week before Easter. The Baptists, said Shernheim, with their abhorrence of popery, did not make much of Easter as Easter. They called it the Festival of Christ's resurrection.

Starting point is 06:21:25 But they did like daily meetings during what the heretical world knew as Holy Week. Elmer stayed with the banxes and labored mightily both against sin and against getting married. Indeed he was so stirred and so eloquent that he led two sixteen-year-old girls out of their sins and converted the neighborhood object lesson, a patriarch who drank hard cider and had not been converted for two years. Elmer knew by now that though Floyd Neeler was not exactly a virgin, his achievements and his resolution were considerably less than his desires. and he set to work to improve that resolution.

Starting point is 06:22:12 He took Floyd off to the pasture, and after benignly admitting that perhaps a preacher oughtn't to talk of sex things, he narrated his amorous conquests until Floyd's eyes were hungrily bulging. Then, with giggling apologies, Elmer showed his collection of what he called art photographs. Floyd almost ate them. Elmer lent them to him. That was on a Thursday. At the same time, Elmer deprived Lulu all week of the caresses which she craved,

Starting point is 06:22:50 until she was desperate. On Friday, Elmer held morning meeting instead of evening meeting, and arranged that Lulu and Floyd should have a picnic supper in the Sycamore Grove near the Baines house. He suggested it in a jocund, idyllic way, and Lulu brightened. On their way to the grove with their baskets, she sighed to him as they walked behind Floyd. Oh, why have you been so cold to me?

Starting point is 06:23:19 Have I offended you again, dear? He let her have it brutally. Oh, don't be such a damned whiner. Can't you act as if you had some brains just for once? When they spread the picnic supper, she was barely keeping hold of her sobs. They finished supper in the dusk. They sat quietly, Floyd looking at her, wondering at her distress, peeping nervously at her pretty ankles. Say, I've got to go in and make some notes for my sermon tomorrow.

Starting point is 06:23:54 No, you two wait for me here. Nicer out here in the fresh air. Be back in about half an hour, said Elmer. He made much of noisily swaggering away through the brush. He crept back softly, stood behind a sycamore near them. He was proud of himself. It was working. Already Lulu was sobbing openly, while Floyd comforted her with,

Starting point is 06:24:23 What is it pretty? What is it there? Tell me. Elmer had moved nearer to her. Elmer could just see them. She rested her head on his cousinly's shoulder. Presently Floyd was kissing her tears away, and she seemed to be snuggling close to him. Elmer heard her muffled,

Starting point is 06:24:45 Oh, you oughtn't to kiss me. Elmer said, I should think of you as a sister, and I could kiss you. Oh, my God, Lulu, I do love you so terrible. Oh, we oughtn't. Then silence. elmer fled to the barnyard found deacon baines and demanded harshly come here i want you to see what floyd and lulu are doing put that lantern down i've got one of these electric dinguses here He had. He had brought it for this purpose. He also had a revolver in his pocket. When Elmer and the bewildered Mr. Bain burst upon them, saw them in the circle from the

Starting point is 06:25:30 electric flashlight, Lulu and Floyd were deep in a devastating kiss. There, bellowed, outraged Elmer, now you see why I hesitated to be engaged to that woman. I've suspected it all along. Oh, abomination! abomination, and she that committeth it shall be cut off. Floyd sprang up, a fighting hound. Elber could doubtless have handled him, but it was Deacon Baines, who with one maniac blow, knocked Floyd down.

Starting point is 06:26:05 The deacon turned to Elmer then, with the first tears he had known since boyhood. Forgive me and mine, brother, we have sinned against you. This woman shall suffer for. always. She'll never enter my house again. She'll by God Mary Floyd, and he's the shiftless damn fool farmer in ten counties. I'm going. I can't stand this. I'll send you another preacher. I'll never see any of you again, said Elmer. I don't blame you. Try to forgive us, brother.

Starting point is 06:26:43 The deacon was sobbing now. Dusty, painful sobbing. bewildered, sobs of anger. The last thing Elmer saw in the light of his electric torch was Lulu, huddled with shrunk shoulders, her face insane, with fear. End of Section 12, Chapter 9. Section 13 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. This is a Labor Vox recording. All Liebervox recordings are in the public domain.

Starting point is 06:27:19 For more information, or to find you. volunteer, please visit Libravox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 13, Chapter 10, Part 1 As he tramped back to Babylon that evening, Elmer did not enjoy his deliverance so much as he had expected, but he worked manfully at

Starting point is 06:27:44 recalling Lulu's repetitious chatter, her humorless ignorance, her pawing, her unambitious rusticity and all that he had escaped. To have her around gumming his life, never could jolly the congregation and help him, and suppose he were in a big town with a swell church. Gee, maybe he wasn't glad to be out of it. Besides, really better for her,

Starting point is 06:28:14 she and Floyd much better suited. He knew that Dean Trasper's one, sin was reading till late, and he came bursting into the Dean's house at the scandalous hour of eleven. In the last mile he had heroically put by his exhilaration and thrown himself into the state of a betrayed and desolate young man so successfully that he had made himself believe it. Oh, how wise you were about women, Dean, he lamented, terrible thing has happened. Her father and I have just found my girl in the arms of another man, a regular brewway down there. I can never go back, not even for Easter service, and her father

Starting point is 06:29:04 agrees with me. Can you ask him? Well, I am most awfully sorry to hear this, Brother Gantry. I didn't know you can feel so deeply. Shall we kneel in prayer and ask the Lord to come? "'I'll send brothers shallered down there for the Easter service. "'He knows the field.' "'On his knees, Elder told the Lord "'that he had been dealt with as no man before or since. "'The Dean approved his agonies very much. "'There, there, my boy, the Lord will enlighten your burden in his own good time.

Starting point is 06:29:43 "'Perhaps this will be a blessing in disguise. "'You're lucky to get rid of such a woman, and this will give you that humility, that deeper thirsting after righteousness, which I've always felt you lacked, despite your splendid pulpit voice. Now, I've got something to take your mind off your sorrows. There's quite a nice little chapel on the edge of monarch, where they're lacking an incumbent. I intended to send Brother Hudkins, you know him,

Starting point is 06:30:16 he's that old retired preacher that lives out by the brickyard, comes to classes now and then. I'd intended to send him down for the Easter service, but I'll send you instead, and in fact, if you see the committee, I imagine you can fix it to have this as a regator charge, at least until graduation. They pay fifteen a Sunday and your fare,

Starting point is 06:30:44 and being there in a city like Monarch, You can go on to the ministerial association and so on, stay over till Monday noon every week, and make fine contacts. And maybe you'll be in line for assistant in one of the big churches next summer. There's a morning train to Minarg at 1021, isn't it? You take that train tomorrow morning and go look up a lawyer named Eversley. He's got an office.

Starting point is 06:31:13 Where's his letter? His office is in the Royal Trust Company building. He's a deacon. I'll warrant him to be there tomorrow afternoon. Or anyway, leave word, and you can make your own arrangements. The Flowerdale Baptist Church, that's the name, and it's a real nice little modern plant with lovely folks. Now you go to your room and pray, and I'm sure you'll feel better. Part 2. It was an hilarious, Elmer Gantry, who took the 1021 train to Monarch, a city of perhaps 300,000. He said in the day coach planning his Easter discourse, Jiminy, his first sermon in a real city, might lead to anything. Better give him something red-hot and startling. Let's see.

Starting point is 06:32:11 You'd get away from this Christ is risen stuff. Mention it, of course. Just bring it in, but have some other thing. Let's see. Faith? Hope? Rependance? No, better go slow on that repentance idea. This Deacon Eversley, the lawyer, might be pretty well to do and get sore if you suggested he had anything to repent of. Let's see. Courage. Chastity. Love. That was it, love. And he was making notes rapidly right out of his own head on the back of an envelope.

Starting point is 06:32:53 Love, a rainbow, AM and P.M. Star, from cradle to tomb, inspires art, et cetera, music, voice of love, slam atheists, et cetera, who were not a priest of love? Guess you must be a newspaper, man, brother, a voice. Osce Sailed him. Elmer looked at his seat-mate, a little man with a whiskey nose and asterisks of laughter wrinkles around his eyes, a rather sportingly dressed little man with the red tie, which in 1906 was still thought rather the thing for socialists and drinkers. He could have a good time with such a little man, Elmer considered, a drummer. Would it be more fun, fun to be natural with him? Or to ask him if he was saved and watch him squirm.

Starting point is 06:33:50 Hell, he had have enough holy business in Monarch, so he turned on his best good fellow smile, and answered, Well, not exactly. Pretty warm for so early, eh? Yeah, it certainly is. Been in Babylon long? No, not very long. Fine town, lots of business.

Starting point is 06:34:13 You betcha. and some nice little dames there too. The little man snickered. There are, eh? Well, say, you better give me some addresses. I make that town once a month, and by golly, I ain't picked me out a skirt yet. But it's a good town.

Starting point is 06:34:33 There's lots of money there. Yes, sir, that's a fact. Good hustle in town. Quick turnover there, all right. Lots of money in Babylon. Though they do tell me, said the little man, there is one of those preacher factories there. Is that a fact? Yeah.

Starting point is 06:34:54 Say, brother, this will make you laugh. You know what I thought when I've seen you first, wearing that black suit and writing things down? I thought maybe you was a preacher yourself. God, he couldn't stand it, having to be so righteous every Sunday as you. Shernheim, Deacon Baines everlastingly asking these fool questions about predestination or some

Starting point is 06:35:21 doggone thing. Certainly had a vacation coming, and a sport like this fellow he'd look down on you if you said you were a preacher. The train was noisy. If any neighboring cock crowed three times, Elmer would not

Starting point is 06:35:37 hear it as he rumbled. Well, for the love of Mike. Though, in his most austere manner, this black suit happens to be mourning for one very dear to me. Oh, say, brother, now you got to excuse me, I'm always shooting my mouth off. Oh, that's all right. Well, let's shake, and I'll know you don't hold it against me. You bet. From the little man came in order of whiskey which stirred Elmer powerful. so long since he had a drink, nothing for two months except a few nips of hard cider which Lulu had dutifully stolen for him from her father's cask.

Starting point is 06:36:28 Well, what is your line, brother? said the little man. I'm in the shoe game. Well, that's a fine game, yes, sir. People do have to have shoes, no matter if they're hard up or not. My name's Addy's. Locus. Jesus, think of it. The folks named me Adney. Can you beat that? Ain't that one hell of a name for a fellow that likes to get cut out with the boys and have a good time? But you can just call me Ad. I'm traveling for the Pequot Farm Implement Company. Great organization, great bunch. Yes, sir. They're great folks to work for. And hit it up, say. The sales manager can drink more good liquor than any fella that's working for him. And believe me, there's some of us that ain't so slow ourselves. Yes, sir, this fool idea that a lot of these fly-by-night firms are hollering about how.

Starting point is 06:37:32 That in the long run, you don't get no more by drinking with the dealers. All damn foolishness. They say this fellow, Ford, that makes these automobiles, talks that way. Well, you mark my words. By 1910, he'll be out of business. That's what'll happen to him. You mark my words, yes, sir. They are a great concern, the Pequot Bunch. As a matter of fact, we're holding a sales conference in Monarch this week. Tis that a fact? Yes, sir, by golly, that's what we're doing. You know, read papers about how to get money out of a machinery dealer when he ain't got any money?

Starting point is 06:38:15 Hell of a lot of attention. Most of us boys will pay to that junk. We're going to have a good time and get in a little good earnest drinking. And you bet the sales manager will be right there with us. Say, brother, I didn't quite catch the name. Elmer Gantry is my name. Mighty glad to meet you. Mighty glad to know you, Elmer.

Starting point is 06:38:43 Say, Elmer, I've got some of the best bourbon you or anybody else ever laid your face to right here in my hip pocket. I suppose you being in a high-brow business, like the shoe business. You're just about faint if I was to offer you a little something to cure that call. I guess I would, all right? Yes, sir, I just about faint. Well, you're a pretty big fellow, and you ought to try to control yourself. "'I'll do my best, Ad, if you'll hold my hand.' "'You betcha I will.'

Starting point is 06:39:21 Ad brought out from his permanently sagging pocket of pint of Green River, and they drank together reverently. "'Say, jever hear the toast about the sailor?' inquired Elmer. He felt very happy, at home with the loved ones after a long and desolate wandering. Don't know as I ever did, shoot. Here's to the lass in every port, and here's to the port wine in every lass. But those tall thoughts don't matter sport, for God's sake, waiter, fill my glass. The little man wriggled.

Starting point is 06:40:00 Oh, yes, sir, I never did hear that one. Say, that's a knockout. By golly, that certainly is a knockout. Say, Elm. What you doing in Monarch? Want you to meet some of the boys? The Pequot Conference don't really start till Monday, but some of us boys thought we'd kind of get together today

Starting point is 06:40:22 and hold a little service of prayer and fasting before the rest of the glutes assemble. Like you to meet them. Best bunch of sports you ever saw. Let me tell you that. I'd like for you to meet him, and I'd like him to hear that toast. Here's to the Port Warnock. and every last. That's pretty cute, all right. What's you doing in Monarch? Can't you come around to the

Starting point is 06:40:47 Ishawanga Hotel and meet some of the boys when we get in? Well, Mr. Adlochus was not drunk. Not exactly drunk, but he had earnestly applied himself to the bourbon, and he was in a state of superb philanthropy. Elmer had taken enough to feel reasonable. He was hungry, too, not only for alcohol but for unsanctimonious companionship. I'll tell you, add, he said, nothing I'd like better, but I've got to meet a guy, important dealer, this afternoon, and he's dead set against all drinking. Fact, I certainly do appreciate your booze,

Starting point is 06:41:29 but don't nose I ought to have taken a single drop. Oh, hell, Elm, I've got some throat pistils that are absolutely guaranteed, To knock off the smell absolutely. One little drink wouldn't do us any harm. Certainly would like to have the boys hear that toast of yours. Well, I'll sneak in for a second, and maybe I can for together with you for a while late Sunday evening or Monday morning, but, oh, you ain't going to let me down, Ellen.

Starting point is 06:42:04 Well, I'll telephone this guy and fix it so as I don't have to see him till long about three o'clock. That's great. Part three. From the Ishawanga Hotel at noon, Elmer telephoned to the office of Mr. Eversley, the brightest light of the Flowerdale Baptist Church. But there was no answer.

Starting point is 06:42:28 Everybody in his office out to dinner. Well, I've done all I can till this afternoon, Elmer reflected virtuously, and joined the Pequot Crusade. in the Ishawanga bar, 11 men in a booth for eight, everyone talking at once, everyone's shouting,

Starting point is 06:42:47 say waiter, you ask that damn bartender if he's making the booze. Within 17 minutes, Elmer was calling all of the 11 by their first names, frequently by the wrong first names, and he contributed to their literary lore

Starting point is 06:43:03 by thrice reciting his toast and by telling the best story, he knew. They like him. In his joy of release from piety and the thread of life with Lulu, he flowered into vigor. Six several times the Pequot salesman said one to another, Now there's a fellow we ought to have with us in the firm, and the others nodded. He was inspired to give a burlesque sermon. I've got a great joke on ad, he thundered. No one. what he thought I was first, a preacher.

Starting point is 06:43:42 Say, that's a good one, they cackled. Well, at that, he ain't so far off. When I was a kid, I did think about being a preacher. Well, say now, listen, and see if I wouldn't have made a swell preacher. And while they gaped and giggled and admired, he rose solemnly, looked at them solemnly and boomed, "'Brethren and sisters, "'in the hustle and bustle of daily life,

Starting point is 06:44:11 "'you guys certainly do forget the higher and finer things. "'And what? "'And all the higher and finer things. "'In what and by what, are we a rule, "'excepting by love. "'What is love?' "'You stick around tonight and I'll show you,' "'shrieked Ed, Locus.

Starting point is 06:44:33 "'Ha, ha, ha. "'Shut up now, Ad. "'Hon us.' Listen, see if I couldn't have been a swell preacher, a knockout bet. Bet I could handle a big crowd well as any of them. Now listen. What is love? What is the divine love?

Starting point is 06:44:51 It is the rainbow repainting with its spangled colors, those dreary wastes, where of late the terrible tempest has wreaked its utmost fury. The rainbow with its tender promise of Circease, from the toils and travails and terrors of the awful storm. What is love? The divine love, I mean? Not the carnal, but the divine love, as exemplified in the church. What is?

Starting point is 06:45:22 Say, protested the most profane of the eleven. I don't think you ought to make fun of the church. I never go to church myself, but maybe I'd be a better fellow if I did, and I certainly do respect folks that go to church. church, and I send my kids to Sunday school, you goddamn betcha. Fell, I ain't making fun of the church, protested Elmer. Fell, he isn't making fun of the church, just kidding the preachers, asserted Adlochus.

Starting point is 06:45:52 Preachers are just ordinary guys like the rest of us. Sure, preachers can cuss and make love just like anybody else. I know. What they get away with pretending to be is, different, said Elmer lugubriously. Would make you gentlemen tired if you knew. Well, I don't think you had ought to make fun of the church. Fell, he ain't making fun of the church.

Starting point is 06:46:21 Sure, I ain't making fun of the church, but let me finish my sermon. Sure, let him finish his sermon. Now, where was I? What is love? It is the evening and the morning, Those vast illuminaries that as they ride the purple abysms of the holy firmament vouchsafed in their golden splendor the promise of higher and better things, that, well, say, you wise guys, would I make a great peter, or wouldn't I? The applause was such that the bartender came and looked at them funerily, and Elmer had to drink with each of them, that is, he drank with four of them.

Starting point is 06:47:08 But he was out of practice, and he had had no lunch. He turned veal white, sweat stood on his forehead, and in a double line of drops along his upper lip, while his eyes were suddenly vacant. And locust squealed, hey, look out, Elm's passing out. They got him up to Ad's room, one man supporting him on either side and one pushing behind,

Starting point is 06:47:35 just before he dropped insensible. And all that afternoon, when he should have met the Flowerdale Baptist Committee, he snored on Ad's bed, dressed safe for his shoes and coat. He came to at six, with Ad bending over him solicitous. "'God, I feel awful,' Elmer groaned.

Starting point is 06:47:58 "'Here, what you need's a drink.' "'Oh, Lord, I mustn't take any more,' said Elmer. "'Taking it?' His hand trembled so that Ed had to hold the glass to his mouth. He was conscious that he must call up the deacon Everesley at once. Two drinks later he felt better, and his hand was steady. The Pequot bunch began to come in, with a view to dinner.

Starting point is 06:48:25 He postponed his telephone call to Eversley till after dinner. He kept postponing it, and he found himself at ten on Easter morning with a perfectly strange young woman in a perfectly strange flat and heard Adlocus in the next room singing, How dry I am! Elmer did a good deal of repenting and groaning before his first drink of the morning.

Starting point is 06:48:53 after which he comforted himself. Golly, I never will get to that church now. Well, I'll tell the committee I was taken sick. Hey, Ed, how'd we ever get here? Can we get any breakfast in this dump? He had two bottles of beer, spoke graciously to the young lady in the kimono and red slippers, and filled himself altogether a fine fellow.

Starting point is 06:49:19 With Ed and such of the Eleven as were still alive, and a scattering of shrinking young ladies, he drove out to a dance hall on the lake Easter Sunday afternoon, and they returned to Monarch for lobster and Chakundity. But this ends it, to-morrow morning I'll get busy and see Eversley and fix things up, Elmer vowed. Part 4. In that era, long-distance telephoning was an unconsor. common event. But Everesley, deacon and lawyer, was a bustler. When the new preacher had not appeared by six on Saturday afternoon, Everisley telephoned to Babylon, waited while Dean Prosper was fetched to the Babylon Central, and spoke with considerable irritation about the

Starting point is 06:50:11 absence of the ecclesiastical hired hand. I'll send you brother, Hedkins, a very fine preacher, living here, here now, retired, he'll take the midnight train, said Dean Trosper. To Mr. Hudkins, the dean said, And look around, see if you can find anything of Brother Gantry. I'm worried about him. The poor boy was simply in agony over a most unfortunate private matter, apparently. Now Mr. Hudkins had for several years conducted a mission on South Clark Street in Chicago,

Starting point is 06:50:50 and he knew a good many unholy things. He had seen Elmer Gantry in classes at MISPA, when he had finished Easter morning services in Monarch, he not only went to the police and to the hospitals, but began a round of the hotel's restaurants and bars. Thus it came to pass that, while Elmer was merely washing lobster down with California claret, stopping now and then to kiss the blonde. beside him, and by request to repeat his toast that evening, he was being observed from the

Starting point is 06:51:27 cafe door by the Reverend Mr. Hedkins, in the enjoyable role of avenging angel. Part 5. When Elmer telephoned Everisly Monday morning to explain his sickness, the deacon snapped, or I got somebody else. but, well, say, Dean Trusper thought you in the committee might like to talk over a semi-permanent arrangement. Nope, nope, no. Returned to Babylon, Elmer went at once to the offices of the dean. One look at his expression was enough. The dean concluded two minutes of the most fluent description with,

Starting point is 06:52:12 The faculty committee met this morning, and you are fired. from Mitspa. Of course, are you remained an ordained Baptist minister? I could get your home association to cancel your credentials, but it would grieve them to know what sort of a lying monster they had sponsored. Also, I don't want misba mixed up in any such a scandal. But if I ever hear of you in any Baptist pulpit, I'll expose you. Now, I don't want to suppose you're bright enough to be a saloon keeper, but you ought to make a pretty good bartender. I'll leave your punishment to your midnight thoughts. Elmer whined, you hadn't ought, you ought not to talk to me like that. Doesn't it say in the Bible you ought to forgive 70 times seven? This is 80 times seven. Get out.

Starting point is 06:53:12 So the Reverend Mr. Gantry surprisingly ceased to be, for practical purposes, a reverent at all. He thought of fleeing to his mother, but he was ashamed. A flame to Lulu, but he could not dare. He heard that Eddie Fizzlinger had been yanked to Shernheim to marry Lulu and Floyd Naylor, a lonely grim affair by lamplight. They might have asked me anyway, grumbled Elmer as he packed. He went back to Monarch and friendliness of Adlocus.

Starting point is 06:53:49 He confessed that he had been a minister and was forgiven. By Friday that week, Elmer had become a traveling salesman for the Pequot Farm Implement Company. End of Section 13. Section 14 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. This is a Libre Vops report. All Librevox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Librevox.org.

Starting point is 06:54:21 Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 14, Chapter 11, Part 1 through 3. Part 1. Elmer Gantry was 28, and for two years he had been a traveling salesman for the Pequot Company, Harrow's and Rakes and Cornwall. planters, red plows and gilt-striped green wagons, cantalopes, and ordered lists. Offices glanced off from dim warehouses, shirt-sleeved dealers on high stools at high desks, the bar at the corner, stifling small hotels and lunchrooms, waiting for trains half the

Starting point is 06:55:05 night in foul boxes of junction stations, where the brown slatted benches were an agony. to his back. Trains, trains, trains, trains, trains and timetables, and joyous return to his headquarters in Denver. A drunk? A theater and services in a big church. He wore a checked suit, a brown derby, striped socks, the huge ring of gold serpents, and an obel which he had but long ago, flower-decked ties, and what he called fancy vests, garments of yellow with red spots, of green with white stripes, of silk or daring chamois.

Starting point is 06:55:52 He had a series of little loves, but none of them important enough to continue. He was not unsuccessful. He was a good talker, a magnificent hand-shaker. His word could often be depended on, and he remembered most of the price list and all of the new smutty stories. In the office at Denver, he was popular with the boys. He had one infallible stunt, a burlesque sermon.

Starting point is 06:56:22 It was known that he had studied to be a preacher, but had courageously decided that it was no occupation for a real two-fisted guy, and that he had told the profs where they got off. A promising and commendable fellow conceivably sales manager some day. Whatever his dissipations, Elmer continued enough exercise to keep his belly down and his shoulders up, he had been shocked by Deacon Baines' taunt that he was growing soft. And every morning in his hotel room he unhumorously did calisthenics for fifteen minutes, even in C. bold or boxed in YMCA gymnasiums, or in towns large enough, solemnly swam up and down tanks like a white porpoise.

Starting point is 06:57:15 He felt lusty and as strong as in Terwilliger days. Yet Elmer was not altogether happy. He appreciated being free of faculty rules, free of the guilt which in seminary days had followed his sprees at Monarch. three of the incomprehensible debates of Harry Zins and Frank Schallard. Yet, he missed leading the old hymns and the sound of his own voice, the sense of his own power as he held an audience by his sermon. Always on Sunday evenings, except when he had an engagement with a waitress or a chambermaid, he went to the evangelical church nearest his hotel. He enjoyed criticizing the sermon,

Starting point is 06:58:03 "'Golly, I could put it all over that poor boob. "'The straight gospel is all right. "'But if he had only snuck in a couple of literary allusions "'and lambasted the saloon-keepers more, "'he'd have had him all head up. "'He's saying as powerfully that despite a certain tobacco and whiskey order, "'the Parsons always shook hands with extra warmth "'and said they were glad to see you with us this evening,

Starting point is 06:58:33 Evening Brother? When he encountered really successful churches, his devotion to the business became a definite longing to return to preaching. He ached to step up, push the minister out of his pulpit, and take charge, instead of sitting back there unnoticed and unadmired, as though he were an ordinary layman. These chums would be astonished if they knew what I am, he reflected. after such an experience it was vexatious on monday morning to talk with a droning implement dealer about discounts on manure spreaders it was sickening to wait for the train time in a cuspidore filled hotel lobby when he might have been in a church office superior with books giving orders to pretty secretaries and being expansive and helpful to consulting sinners He was only partly solaced by being able to walk openly into a bar and shout, Straight ride, be y'all?

Starting point is 06:59:39 On Sunday evening in a western Kansas town, he ambled to a shabby little church and read on the placard outside, This morning, the meaning of redemption. This evening is dancing of the devil? First Baptist church, pastor, the Reverend Edward Fizzlinger, B-A-M-D. Oh, God, protested Elmer. Eddie Fizzlinger?

Starting point is 07:00:09 About the kind of bird he would land in. A lot he knows about the meaning of redemption or any other dogma, that human woodchuck. Or about dancing. If he had ever been with me in Denver and shaking a hoof at Billy Portoferro's place, he'd have something to hand out. Fizzlinger.

Starting point is 07:00:31 Must be the same guy. I'll sit down front and put his show on the fritz. Eddie Fizzlinger's church was an octagonal affair, with a pulpit in one angle, an arrangement which produced a fascinating, whether dizzy effect, reminiscent of the doctrine of predestination. The interior was of bright yellow hung with many placards. Get right with God. And where will you spend,

Starting point is 07:01:01 and the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. The Sunday stool register behind the pulpit communicated the tidings that the attendants today had been 41, as against the only 39 last week, and the collection 89 cents, as against only 77. The usher, a bricklayer in a clean car, was impressed by Elmer's checkered suit, and starched red-speckled shirt and took him to the front row. Eddie flushed most satisfactorily when he saw Elmer from the pulpit, started to bow, checked it, looked in the general direction of heaven, and tried to smile condescendingly. He was nervous at the beginning of his sermon, but apparently he determined that his attack on sin, which other two had been an academic routine with no relation to any of his

Starting point is 07:02:00 as appallingly virtuous flock might be made real. With his squirrel-toothed and touching earnestness, he looked down at Elmer and as good as told him to go to hell and be done with it. But he thought better of it, and concluded that God might be able to give Elmer Gantry another chance if Elmer stopped drinking, smoking, blaspheming, and wearing check suits. If he did not refer to Elmer by name, he certainly did by poisonous glances. Elmer was angry, then impressively innocent, and then bored.

Starting point is 07:02:44 He examined the church and counted the audience, 27, excluding Eddie and his wife. There was no question but that the young woman looking adoringly up from the front pew was Eddie's consort, she had the pitifully starved and home-tailored look of a preacher's wife. By the end of the sermon, Elmer was being sorry for Eddie. He sang the closing hymn, He's the lily of the valley, with a fine, unctuous grace, coming down powerfully on the jubilant hallelujah, and waited to shake hands with Eddie forgivingly.

Starting point is 07:03:23 Well, well, well, they both said. And what do you do? Doing in these parts, and Eddie, wait until everybody's gone, must have a good old-fashioned chin with you old fellow. As he walked with the fizzlingers to the parsonage a block away, and sat with him in the living room, Elmer wanted to be a preacher again, to take the job away from Eddie and do it expertly. Yet he was repulsed by the depressing, stizziness of Eddie's life. his own hotel bedrooms were drabby enough but they were free of nosy parishioners and they were as luxurious as this parlor with its rain-blossed ceiling bare pine floor sloping chairs and perpetual odor of diapers there were already in the two years of eddy's marriage two babies looking as though they were next door to having been conceived without sin and there was a perfectly blank face

Starting point is 07:04:26 sister-in-law who cared for the children during services. Elmer wanted to smoke, and for all his training in the eternal mysteries, he could not decide whether it would be more interesting to annoy Eddie by smoking or to win him by refraining. He smoked, and wished he hadn't. Eddie noticed it, and his reedy wife noticed it, and the sister-in-law gaped at it, and they labored at pretending they hadn't. Elmore felt large and sophisticated and prosperous in their presence, like a city broke her visiting a farmer cousin and wondering which of his tales of gilded towers would be simple enough for belief. Eddie gave him the news of Mizpah. Frank Shalard had a small church in a town called Catawba, the other end of the state of Winnemak from the seminary. There had been

Starting point is 07:05:25 some difficulty over his ordination, for he had been shaky about even so clear and proven of fact as the virgin birth. But his father, and Dean Trosper, had vouched for him, and Frank had been ordained. Harry Zinz had a large church in West Virginia mining town. Walus Umsted, the physical instructor, was doing fine. In the YMCA, Professor Bruno Zekyllen was dead, poor fellow. Whatever became a Horace carp, asked Elmer. Well, that is the strangest thing of all. Horace has gone into the Episcopal church,

Starting point is 07:06:07 like he always said he would. Well, well, is that a fact? Yes, sir, his father died just after he graduated, and he up and turned Episcopalian and took a year in general, and now they say he's doing pretty good, and he's a high church is all get out. Well, you seem to have a good thing of it here, Eddie. Nice church. Well, it isn't so big. But they're awful fine people, and everything's doing fine. I haven't increased the membership so much,

Starting point is 07:06:42 but what I'm trying to do is strengthen the present membership in the faith, and then, when I feel each of them is a center of inspiration. I'll be ready to start an evangelistic campaign, and you'll see that old church boom, yes sir, just double overnight. If they only weren't so slow about paying my salary and the mortgage, fine solid people really saved, but they are just a lest little bit tight with the money. If you could see the way my cook stove is broken,

Starting point is 07:07:18 and the sink needs painting. said Mrs. Fislinger, her chief utterance of the evening. Elmer felt choked and imprisoned. He escaped. At the door, Eddie held both his hands and begged, Oh, Alma, I'll never give up till I brought you back. I'm going to pray. I've seen you under conviction.

Starting point is 07:07:43 I know what you can do. Oh, fresh air, a defiant drink of rye, loud laughter, Taking the train, Elmer enjoyed it after this stuffiness. Already Eddie had lost such a devout fire as he had once shown in the YMCA. Already he was old, settled down without conceivable adventure, awaiting for death. Yet Elmer had said, Stardled, he recalled, that he was still a Baptist minister. for all of Trusper's opposition he could preach.

Starting point is 07:08:23 He felt with superstitious discomfort Eddie's incantation, I'll never give up till I've brought you back. And just to take Eddie's church and show what he could do with it, by God he'd bring those hicks to time and make him pay up. He flitted across the state to see his mother. His disgrace at Mitzpah had, she said, nearly killed her. With tremulous hope, she now heard him promise that maybe, when he had seen the world and settled down,

Starting point is 07:08:59 he might go back into the ministry. In a religious mood, which fortunately did not prevent his securing some telling credit information by oiling a bookkeeper with several drinks, he came to Salterville, Nebraska, an ugly, enterprising industrial town of 20,000. And in that religious mood, he noted the placards of a woman evangelist, one Sharon Falkiner, a prophetess of whom he had heard.

Starting point is 07:09:35 The clerk in the hotel, the farmers about the implement warehouse, said that Miss Falkner was holding union meetings in a tent with the support of most of the Protestant churches in town. They asserted that she was beautiful and eloquent, and that she took a number of assistance with her, that she was the biggest thing that ever hit this berg, that she was comparable to Moody, to Gypsy Smith, to Sam Jones, to Jay Wilbur Chapman, to this new baseball evangelist, Billy Sunday. Well, that's nonsense. No woman can preach the gospel,

Starting point is 07:10:19 declared Elmer, as an expert. But he went that evening to Miss Faulkner's meeting. The tent was enormous. It would seat three thousand people, and another thousand could be packed in standing room. It was nearly filled when Elmer arrived and elbowed his majority. majestic way forward. At the front of the tent was an extraordinary structure, altogether different

Starting point is 07:10:46 from the platform pulpit American flag arrangement of the stock evangelist. It was a pyramidal structure of white wood with gilded edges affording three platforms, one for the choir, one higher up for a row of seated local clergy, and at the top a small platform with a pulpit-shaped like a shell, and painted like a rainbow, swarming all over it were lilies, roses, and vines. Great snakes! Regular circus layout, just what you'd expect from a fool-woman evangelist, decided Elmer. The top platform was still unoccupied, presumably it was to set off the charms of Miss Sharon Falkiner. The mixed choir was their gowns and mortuary. The mixed choir was their gowns and mortally, board's chanted, shall we gather at the river?

Starting point is 07:11:45 A young man, slight, too good-looking, two arch of lip, wearing a priest's waistcoat and collar turned around, read from acts at a stand on the second platform. He was an oxonian, and it was almost the first time that Elmore had heard an Englishman read. Fah, Willie Boy! that's what he is. This outfit won't get very far. Too much skirts, no punch, no good old-fashioned gospel to draw the customers. Scoffed Elmer. A pause. Everyone waited. A little uneasy. Their eyes went to the top platform. Elmer gasped, coming from some refuge behind the platform, coming slowly,

Starting point is 07:12:34 her beautiful arms outstretched to them appeared a saint. She was young. Sharon Falconer, surely not thirty, stately, slender and tall, and in her long, slim face, her black eyes, her splendor of black hair, was rapture or boiling passion. The sleeves of her straight white robe, with its ruby velvet girdle, were slashed, and fell away from her arms as she drew everyone to her. God, prayed Elmer Gantry,

Starting point is 07:13:13 and that instant his planless life took on plan and resolute purpose. He was going to have Sharon Faulkner. Her voice was warm, a little husky, deliberately alive. Oh, my dear people, my dear people, I am not going to preach tonight. We are all so wary of nagging sermons about being nice and good. I am not going to tell you that your sinners, for which of us is not a sinner. I am not going to explain the scriptures.

Starting point is 07:13:50 We are all bored by tired old men explaining the Bible through their noses. No, we are going to find the golden scriptures written in our own heart. we are going to sing together, laugh together, rejoice together. Like a gathering of April Brooks, rejoice that in us is living the veritable spirit of the everlasting and redeeming Christ Jesus. Eller never knew what the words were, or the sense, if indeed anyone knew, it was all caressing music to him, and at the end, when she ran down, curving flower-breathed stairs to the lowest platform, and held out her arms, pleading with them to find peace and salvation, he was roused

Starting point is 07:14:43 to go forward with the converts, to kneel in the writhing row under the blessing of her extended hands. But he was lost in no mystical ecstasy. He was the critic, moved by the play, but aware, that he must get his copy in the newspaper. This is the outfit I've been looking for. Here's where I could go over great. I could beat that English preacher both ways from the ace. And Sharon? Oh, the darling.

Starting point is 07:15:18 She was coming along the road of converts and near converts, laying her shining hands on their heads. His shoulders quivered with consciousness of her nearness. when she reached him and invited him in that thrilling voice, Brother, won't you find happiness in Jesus? He did not bow lower, like the others. He did not sob, but looked straight up at her jauntily, seeking to hold her eyes while he crowed,

Starting point is 07:15:50 It's the happiness, just to have had your wondrous message, Sister Falconer. She glanced at him sharply. She turned blank and instantly passed on. He felt slapped. I'll show her yet. He stood aside as the crowd wavered out. He got into talk with the crisp young Englishman

Starting point is 07:16:15 who had read the scripture lesson, Cecil Iyleston, Sharon's first assistant. Mighty pleased to be here tonight, brother. "'Mumbled Elmer. "'I happen to be a Baptist preacher myself. "'Bountiful meeting. "'And you read the lesson most inspiringly?' "'C Cecil Isle Ishton rapidly took in Elmer's checked suit,

Starting point is 07:16:42 "'his fancy vest, and—' "'Oh, really? "'Splendid. "'So good of you, I'm sure. "'If you will excuse me?' "'Nor.' "'Nor.' Did it increase Elmer's affection to have Iylston leave him for one of the humblest of the adherents,

Starting point is 07:17:03 an old woman, in a broken and flapping straw hat? Elmer disposed of Cecil Iyleston. To hell with him, there's a fellow we'll get rid of. A man like me he gives the icy mitt, and then he goes the other extreme and slops all over some old dame that's probably saved already, that you, by golly, couldn't unsave with a carload of gin. That'll do you, my young friend, and you don't like my check suit either? Well, I certainly do buy my clothes just to please you all right.

Starting point is 07:17:50 He waited hoping for a chance at Sharon Falconer, and others were waiting. She waved her hand at all of them, waved her flaunting smile, rubbed her eyes and begged, Will you forgive me? I'm blind, tired, I must rest. She vanished into the mysteries behind the gaudy golden white pyramid. Even in her staggering world, her voice was not drab. It was filled with that twilight passion which had captured Elmer more than her beauty. Never did see a lady just like her, he reflected as he plowed back to his hotel.

Starting point is 07:18:38 Face kind of thin. Usually I like him, plumber. And yet, golly, I could fall for her as I never have for anybody in my life. "'So this darn Englishman didn't like my clothes? "'Looked as if he thought they were too sporty. "'Well, he can stick him in his ear. "'Anybody got any objection to my clothes?' "'The slumbering universe did not answer, "'and he was almost content. "'And at eight next morning,

Starting point is 07:19:15 "'Sauderville had an excellent clothing shop "'conducted by Messrs. Arab Zils, and Goldfarb, and at eight, Elmer was there, purchasing a chaste, double-breasted brown suit, and three rich but sober ties. By hounding Mr. Goldfarb, he had the alterations done by half-past nine, and at ten he was grandly snooping about the revival tent. He should have gone on to the next town this morning. Sherrod did not appear till eleven. to lecture the personal workers. But meanwhile, Elmer had thrust himself

Starting point is 07:19:55 into acquaintanceship with Art Nichols, a gaunt Yankee, once a barber, who played the cornet and French horn in the three-piece orchestra, which Sharon carried with her. Yes, pretty good game, this is, drone to Nichols, better than barberin and better than one-night stands.

Starting point is 07:20:20 Oh, I'm a real trooper, too. Play characters in tent shows. I was out three seasons with Tom shows. This is easier. No street parades, and I guess probably we do a lot of good, saving souls and so on. Only these religious folks do seem to scrap amongst themselves, more than the professionals.

Starting point is 07:20:48 Where do you go from here? We close in five days, then we grab the collection and pull out of here and make a jump to Lincoln, Nebraska. Open there in three days. Regular troopers jump. Two, don't even get a Pullman. Leave here on the day coach at 11 p.m. and get into Lincoln at one. Sunday night you leave, eh?

Starting point is 07:21:18 That's funny. I'll be on that train, going to Lincoln myself. Well, you can come hear us there. I always do Jerusalem the golden on the coronet at first meeting. Knocks them cold. They say it's all this gab that gets them going and drags in the sinners. But don't you believe it? It's the music.

Starting point is 07:21:47 Say, I can get more damn sinners we've been on a E-flat cornet, the nine gospel artists all shooting off their faces at once. I'll bet you can, Art. Say, Art. Of course, I'm a preacher myself, just in business temporarily, making arrangements for a new appointment.

Starting point is 07:22:12 Art looked like one who was about to not lend money, but I don't believe, all this bull about never having a good time. And of course, Paul said to Take a little wine for your stomach's sake, And this town is dry. But I'm going to a wet one between now and Saturday, And if I were to have a pint of rye in my jeans, eh?

Starting point is 07:22:42 Well, I'm awful fond of my stomach, Like to do something for its sake. "'What kind of a fellow is this Englishman? "'Seems to be Miss Falkiner's right-hand man. "'Oh, he's a pretty bright fella, "'but he don't seem to get along with us boys. "'She likes him? "'What does he call himself?'

Starting point is 07:23:08 "'Say So Aylston, his name is. "'Oh, Sharon liked him first-rate for a while, "'but wouldn't wonder if she was tired of his high-brow stuff now, and the way he never gets chummy. Well, I got to go speak to Miss Faulkner a second. Glad to have met you, Art. See you on the train Sunday evening. They had been talking at one of the dozen entrances of the gospel tent. Elmer had been watching Sharon Faulkner as she came briskly into the tent. She was no high priestess now in Grecian robe, but a businesswoman, in straw hat, gray suit, white shirt-waist,

Starting point is 07:23:57 linen cuffs, and collar. Only her blue bow and the jeweled cross on her watch-fob distinguished her from the women in offices. But Elmer, collecting every detail of her as a minor scoops-up nuggets, knew now that she was not flat-breasted, as in the loose, robe she might have been, she spoke to the personal workers, the young women who volunteered to hold cottage prayer meetings, and to go from house to house stirring up spiritual prospects. My dear friends, I'm very glad you're all praying, but there comes a time when you've got to add a little shoe leather. While you're longing for the kingdom, the devil. The devil does his longing nights and daytimes.

Starting point is 07:24:54 He hustles around seeing people talking to him. Are you ashamed to go right in and ask folks, to come to Christ? To come to our meetings anyway? I'm not at all pleased. Not at all, my dear young friends. My charts show that in the Southeast District only one house in three, in three has been visited.

Starting point is 07:25:23 This won't do. You've got to get over the idea that the services of the Lord is a nice game, like putting Easter lilies on the altar. Here there's only five days left, and you haven't yet waked up and got busy. And let's not have any silly nonsense about hesitating to hit people up for money pledges, and hitting them hard. We can't pay rent for this lot

Starting point is 07:25:54 and pay for lights and transportation and the wages of all this big crew I carry. On hot air. Now, you, you, pretty girl there with the red hair, my, I wish I had such hair. What have you done? Sure enough done in this past week. ten minutes she had them all crying, all aching to dash out and bring in souls and dollars.

Starting point is 07:26:27 She was leaving the tent when Elmer pounced on her, swaggering his hand out. Sister Faulkner, I want to congratulate you on your wonderful meetings. I'm a Baptist preacher, the Reverend Elmer Gantry. Yes, sharply. Where is your church? Why, just at the present I haven't exactly got a church. She inspected his ruddyness, his glossiness, the order of tobacco. Her brilliant eyes had played all over him, and she demanded,

Starting point is 07:27:08 What's the trouble this time? Booze or women? Why, that's absolutely untrue. I'm surprised you should speak like that, Sister Falconer. I'm in perfectly good standing. It's just I'm taking a little time off to engage in business in order to understand the workings of the lay mind before going on with my ministry.

Starting point is 07:27:37 Hmm. That's splendid. Well, you have my blessing, brother. Now if you will excuse me, I must go, and meet the committee. She tossed him an unsmiling smile and raced away. He felt soggy, lumbering, unspeakably stupid. But he swore, damn you, I'll catch you when you aren't all wrapped up in business and your own darn fool self-importance, and then I'll make you wake up, my girl.

Starting point is 07:28:14 He had to do nine days' work to visit nine towns, in five days. But he was back in Sautersville on Sunday evening, and he was on the 11 o'clock train for Lincoln in the new brown suit. His fancy for Sharon Falconer had grown into a trembling passion, the first authentic passion of his life. It was too late in the evening for a great farewell. But at least a hundred of the brethren and sisters were at the station singing, God be with you till we meet again, and shaking hands with Sharon Falconer. Elmer saw his coronet-wielding Yankee friend, Art Nichols, with the rest of the evangelistic crew. The aide Cecil Eil Eilston, the fat and sentimental tenor soloist, the girl pianist,

Starting point is 07:29:13 the violinist and the girls evangelist, and the director of personal work. That important assistant, the press agent, was in Lincoln making ready for the coming of the Lord. They looked like a sleepy theatrical troupe as they sat on their suitcases waiting for the train to come in, and like troopers, they were dismayingly different from their stage roles. The anemically pretty pianist, who for public uses dressed in seraphic silver robes, was now merely a small-town girl in wrinkled blue serge. The director of personal work, which had been none-like in linen, was bold in black, trimmed red, and more attentive to the amorous looks of the German violinist

Starting point is 07:30:11 than to the farewell hymns. The Reverend Cecil Aylston gave orders to the hotel baggagemen regarding their trunks, more like a quartermaster sergeant than like an Oxonian mystic. Sharon herself was imperial in white and the magnet for all of them. A fat Presbyterian pastor with whiskers buzzed about her, holding her arm with more than pious zeal. She smiled on him, to Elmer's rage. She smiled equally on the long, thin disciples of Christ preacher.

Starting point is 07:30:51 She shook hands fervently, and she was tender to each shout of praise God, sister. But her eyes were wearies, and Elmer saw that when she turned from her worshippers, her mouth drooped. Young she seemed then, tired and defenseless. "'Poor kid,' thought Elmer. The train flared and shrieked its way in, and the troop bustled with suitcases. "'Good-bye! God bless you! God speed the work!' shouted everyone. Everyone saved the congregational minister, who stood sulkily at the edge of the crowd, explaining to a parishioner,

Starting point is 07:31:37 and so she goes away with enough cash for herself after six weeks were to have run our whole church for two years. Elmer ranged up beside his musical friend Art Nichols, and as they humped up the steps of a day coach, he muttered, Art, Art, got your stomach medicine here? Great. Say, look, fix it so you sit with Sharon. Then pretty soon go out for a smoke. She didn't like smoking. You don't need to tell her what for. Go out so I can sit down and talk to her for a while. Important business. About a dandy new town for her evangelistic labors? Here, stick this in your pocket, and i'll dig up some more for you at lincoln now hustle and get in with her well i'll try so in the dark malodorous car hot with a late spring filled with women whose corsets creaked to their doful breathing with farmers who snored in shirt-sleeves elmer stood behind a seat in which a blur marked

Starting point is 07:33:04 the shoulders of Art Nichols, and a radiance showed the white presence of Sharon Falkiner. To Elmer, she seemed to kindle the universe. She was so precious every inch of her. He had not known that a human being could be precious like this, and magical. To be near her was ecstasy enough? Almost enough. She was silent. He heard only Art Nichols twanging. What do you think

Starting point is 07:33:43 about us using some of these nigger songs? Hand them a joke. Entered Rousey. Oh, let's not talk about it tonight. Presently from Art, guess I'll skip out on the platform and get a breath of air. And the sacred haunt

Starting point is 07:34:03 beside her was free. to the exalted Elmer. He slipped in, very nervous. She was slumped low in the seat, but she set up, peered at him in the dimness, and said with a grave courtesy, which shut him out more than any rudeness, I'm so sorry, but this place is taken.

Starting point is 07:34:28 Yes, I know, Sister Falkner, but the car is crowded, and I'll just sit down and rest myself while Brother Nichols is away. That is, if you'll let me. Don't know if you remember me. I met you at the tent in Saughtersville, Reverend Gantry. Oh, indifferently. Then quickly, oh yes, you're the Presbyterian preacher who is fired for drinking.

Starting point is 07:35:01 That's absolutely. He saw that she was watching him, and he realized that she was not being her saintly self, nor her efficient self, but a quite new, private, mocking self. Delightedly, he went on, Absolutely incorrect. I'm the Christian scientist that was fired for kissing the choir leader on Saturday. Oh, that really was careless of you. So you're really human? Me? Oh, good heavens, yes, too human.

Starting point is 07:35:40 And you get tired of it? Of what? Of being the great Miss Falconer, of not being able to go into a drugstore to buy a toothbrush without having the clerk holler. Praise God, we have some dandy two-bit brushes, hallelujah. Sharon giggled, tired. and his voice was lolling away of never daring to be tired.

Starting point is 07:36:10 Which same is what you are tonight, and of never having anybody to lean on? I suppose, my dear Reverend brother, that this is a generous offer to let me lean on you? No, I wouldn't have the nerve. I'm scared to death of you. You haven't only got your beauty. No, please let me tell you how a fellow preacher looks at you, and your wonderful platform present, but I kind of guess you've got brains.

Starting point is 07:36:50 No, I haven't. Not a brain all emotion and friendly. But people think of all the souls you've brought to repentance. That makes up for for everything, doesn't it? Oh, yes, I suppose it? Oh, of course it does. It's the only thing that counts. Only, tell me, what really did happen to you? Why did you get out of the church? Gravely, I was a senior in Misspah Theological Seminary, but I had a church of my own. I fell for a girl. I won't say she lured me on. After all, a man ought to face up to the consequences of his own foolishness, but she certainly did. Oh, it amused her to see a young preacher go mad over her, and she was so lovely. Quite a lot like you, only not so beautiful, not nearer, and she let on like she was mad about church work. That's what fooled me. Well, make a long story short, we were engaged to be married, and I thought of nothing but her and our life together, doing the work of the Lord.

Starting point is 07:38:17 when one evening I walked in and there she was in the arms of another fella. It broke me up so that I, oh, I tried, but I simply couldn't go on preaching. So I quit for a while. And I've done well in business, but now I'm ready to go back to the one job I've ever cared about. That's why I wanted to talk to you there at the tent. needed your woman's sympathy as well as your expertise, and you turned me down. Oh, I am so very sorry, her hand caressed his arm. Cecil Ayleston came up and looked at them with a lack of sanctity.

Starting point is 07:39:07 When they reached Lincoln, he was holding her hand and saying, you poor dear tired child and will you have breakfast with me where are you staying in lincoln now see here brother gantry elmer oh don't be ridiculous just because i'm so fagged out that it's nice to play at being a human being don't try to take advantage Sister Falconer, will you quit being a chump? I admire your genius, you wonderful work for God, but it's because you're too big to just be a professional gospel shatter every minute that I most admire you.

Starting point is 07:39:58 You know mighty good and well that you like to be simple and even slangy for a while. And you're too sleepy just now to know whether you like me or not. that's why i want us to meet at breakfast when the sleepiness is out of the wonderful eyes hmm it all sounds pretty honest except that last stuff you've certainly used that before do you know i like you you're so completely brazen so completely unscrupulous and so beatifically ignorant I've been with sanctimonious folks too much lately, and it's interesting to see that you honestly think you can captivate me. You funny thing! I'm staying at the Antlers Hotel in Lincoln.

Starting point is 07:40:59 No use, by the way. You're trying to get a room near my suite, because I have practically the whole floor engaged, and I'll meet you at breakfast. There at 9.30. Part 3. Though he did not sleep well, he was up early and at his toilet. He shaved, he touched up his bluff handsomenes with lilac water in Talcum, and he did his nails sitting in athletic underwear, awaiting his new suit, sent down for pressing.

Starting point is 07:41:37 The new purpose in a life recently, so dispirited, gave vitality to his bold eyes, and spring to his thick muscles as they strode through the golden marble lobby of the Antlers Hotel, and awaited Sharon at the restaurant door. She came down fresh, in white crash, bordered with blue. As they met, they left, admitting comradeship in folly. He took her arm. gaily led her through a flutter of waitresses excited over the coming of the celebrated lady of God, and ordered competently. I've got a great idea, said he.

Starting point is 07:42:27 I've got to beat it this afternoon, but I'll be back in Lincoln on Friday. And how did it be if you build me to address your meeting as a saved businessman, and I talked for half an hour or so on Friday evening about the good, hard, practical, dollars and cents value of Christ in commerce. Are you a good, talker? A knockout. Well, it might be a good idea. Yes, we'll do it.

Starting point is 07:43:04 By the way, what is your business? Hold-ups? I'm the crab. salesman of the Pequot Farm Implement Company, Sharon. And if you don't believe it, oh, I do. She shouldn't have. I'm sure you tell the truth often. Of course, we won't need to mention the fact that you're a preacher unless somebody insists on asking, How would this be as a topic? Getting the Goods with a Gideon Bible, say, that would be elegant. How I was in some hick town, horrible weather, slashing rain, and everything, dark skies, seemed like sun never would shine again.

Starting point is 07:44:00 feet all soaked from tramping through the streets, no sales, plum discouraged, sat in my room, forgotten to buy one of the worldly magazines I'd been accustomed to read, idly picked up a Gideon Bible, and read the parable of the talents. Found that same day you were in town,

Starting point is 07:44:27 went and got converted, Saw now, it wasn't just for money, but for the kingdom of Christ to heighten my influence as a Christian businessman, that I had to increase sales. That bucked up my self-confidence so that I increased sales to beat the band, and now I owe everything to your inspired powers. So it's a privilege to be able to testify and about how it's a privilege. It isn't the weak, skinny failure that's the fella to get saved, but it takes a really strong man to not be ashamed to surrender all for Jesus.

Starting point is 07:45:16 Why, I think that's fine, brother Elmer. I really do. And dwell a lot on being in your hotel room there. You took off your shoes and threw yourself down on the bed, feeling completely beaten. But you were so restless you got up and poked around the room and picked up the Gideon Bible. I'll feature it big and you'll make it strong, Elmer.

Starting point is 07:45:45 You won't let me down? Because I really will headline it in my announcements. I've persuaded you to come clear from Omaha. No, that's not far. clear from Denver for it. And if you do throw yourself into it and tear loose, it'll add greatly to the glory of God and the success of the meeting in winning souls.

Starting point is 07:46:15 You will? Dear, I'll slam it into him so hard, you'll want me in every town you go to. You bet. Be that as it may, Omer, here comes Cecil Aylstrom. You know my assistant? He looks so cross.

Starting point is 07:46:37 He is a deer, but he's so terribly highbrow and refined and everything. And he's always trying to nag me into being refined. But you'll love him. I will not. Anyway, I'll struggle against it. And they laughed. The Reverend Cesar. Aylstrom of the flaxen hair and the superior British complexion, glided to their table,

Starting point is 07:47:07 looked at Elmer with a blankness, more infuriating than a scowl, and sat down observing. I don't want to interlude, Miss Falconer, but you know the committee of clergy are awaiting you in the parlor. "'Oh, dear,' sighed Sharon, "'are they as terrible as usual here? "'Can't you go up and get the kneeling and praying done "'while I finish my scramble eggs? "'Have you told them they've got to double the amount of the pledges "'before this week is over,

Starting point is 07:47:47 "'or the souls that Lincoln can go right on being damned?' "'Ciesel was indicating Elmer, with an alarmed jerk of his head. Oh, don't worry about Elmer. He's one of us, going to speak for us Friday. Used to be a terribly famous preacher, but he's found a wider field in business. Reverend Aylstam, Reverend Gantre.

Starting point is 07:48:17 Now run along, Cecil, and keep him pious and busy. Any nice-looking young preachers in the committee? or are they all old stiffs? Aylston answered with a tight-lipped glare and flowed away. Dear Cecil, he is so useful to me. He's actually made me take to reading poetry and everything. If he just wouldn't be polite at breakfast time,

Starting point is 07:48:49 I wouldn't mind facing the wild beasts of Ephesus, but I can't stand starch with my eggs. Now, I must go up and join him. You'll have lunch with me? I will not, my dear young man. This endeth my being silly for this week. From this moment on, I'll be one of the anointed, and if you want me to like you, God help you,

Starting point is 07:49:22 if you come around looking pussycaddy while I'm manhandling the stiff-necked brethren in Christ. I'll see you Friday. I'll have dinner with you here before the meeting, and I can depend on you? Good. End of section 14, chapter 11, parts 1 through 3. Section 15 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair. Louis. This is a Librevox recording. All Librevox recordings are in the public domain. For more information, nor to Vaughan dear, please visit Librevox.org.

Starting point is 07:50:05 Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 15, Chapter 11, Part 4 through 6. Part 4 Cecil Aylston was a good deal of a mystic, a good deal of a mystic, a good deal of a ritualist, a bit of a rogue, something of a scholar, frequently a drunkard, more frequently an ascetic, always a gentleman, and always an adventurer. He was 32 now. At Winchester and New College, he had been known for sprinting, snobbishness, and Greek, and versification. He had taken orders, served as a curate in a peculiarly muddy and ancient and unlighted church in

Starting point is 07:50:53 the East End, and become fanatically Anglo-Catholic. While he was considering taking the three vows and entering a Church of England monastery, his vicar kicked him out, and no one was ever quite certain, whether it was because of his Romish tendencies, or the Navy's daughter whom he had got with child. He was ordered down to a bleak, square stone church in Cornwall, but he resigned and joined the plymouth brethren among whom in resounding galvanized iron chapels in the black country he had renown for denunciations of all the pleasant sins he came to liverpool for a series of meetings he wandered by the hoochison docks saw a liner ready for sea bought a steerage ticket took the passport which he had ready for a promised flight to rio with the wife of an evangelical merchant in coals, and without a word to the brethren or the ardent lady of the coals,

Starting point is 07:52:02 sailed sulkily off to America. In New York he sold neckties in a department store. He preached in a mission, he tutored the daughter of a great wholesale fish dealer, and wrote nimble and thoroughly irritating book reviews. He left town two hours ahead of the fish dealers eldest son, and turned up in Waco, Texas, teaching in a business college in Winona, Minnesota, preaching in a Nazarene Chapel in Carmel, California, writing poetry and real estate brochures,

Starting point is 07:52:39 and in mild city, Montana, as a summer supply, and a congregational pulpit. He was so quiet, so studious here, that the widow of a rancher picked him up and married him, She died. He lost the entire fortune in two days at Tijuana. He became extra pious after that, and was converted from time to time by Billy Sunday, Gypsy Smith, Beaterwolf, and several other embarrassed evangelists, who did not expect a convert so early in the campaign and had made no plans to utilize him. It was in Ishamming, Michigan, where he was conducting a shooting gallery, while he sought by mail a mastership in Broughton School. Then he heard, and was more than usually converted by Sharon Falconer.

Starting point is 07:53:36 He fell in love with her, and with contemptuous steady resolution, he told her so. At the moment, she was without a permanent man first assistant. She had just discharged a really useful, loud voice, United Brethren, for hinting two delighted sons of Belial that his relationships to her were at least brotherly. She took on the Reverend Cecil Iyleston. He loved her, terrifyingly. He was so devoted to her that he dropped his drinking, his spoking, and a tendency to forgery, which had recently been creeping up on him, and he did wonders for her.

Starting point is 07:54:21 She had been too emotional. He taught her to store it up and fling it all out in one overpowering catastrophic evening. She had been careless of grammar and given to vulgar barnyard illustrations. He taught her to endure sitting still and reading, reading Swinburne and Jowett, Potter and Jonathan Edwards, Newman and Sir Thomas Brown. He taught her to use her voice. to use her eyes, and in more private relations, to use her soul. She had been puzzled by him, annoyed by him, led meekly by him, and now she was weary of his

Starting point is 07:55:08 supercilious devotion. He was more devoted to her than to life, and for her he refused a really desirable widow who could have got him back into the Episcopal furs. and acquired for him the rich sort of church for which he longed after these months of sawdust and sweaty converts. Part 5 When Elmer descended from the train in Lincoln Friday afternoon, he stopped before a red and black poster announcing that Elmer Gantry was a power in the machinery world, that he was an eloquent and entertaining speaker, and that his address increasing sales with God and the Gideons would be a revelation of the new world of better business. Jiminy, said the power in the machinery world,

Starting point is 07:56:02 I'd rather see a sermon of mine advertise like that than sell ten million plows. He had a vision of Sharon Falconer in her suite in late afternoon, lonely and clinging in the faded golden light, clinging to him. But when he reached her room by telephone, she was curt. No, no, sorry, can't see you this afternoon. See you at dinner.

Starting point is 07:56:30 Quarter to six. He was so chastened that he was restrained and uncommenting when she came swooping into the dining room, a not-browed, efficient, raging Sharon. And then he found that she had brought Cecil Iyleston. Good evening. Sister, Brother Iylson, he boomed sedately. Evening, you ready to speak? Absolutely.

Starting point is 07:57:01 She lightened a little. That's good. Everything else has gone wrong, and these preachers here think I can travel an evangelistic crew on air. Give them fits about tightwad Christian businessmen, will you, Elmer? How they hate to loosen up. "'Cesel, kindly don't look at me as if I had bitten somebody, I haven't. "'Not yet.' Iylston ignored her. And the two men watched each other like a panther and a buffalo.

Starting point is 07:57:33 "'But a buffalo with a clean shave and ever so much scented hair tonic. "'Brother Isleston,' said Elmer, "'I noticed in the account of last evening's meeting that you spoke of Mary and the anointing with Spackenard. And you quoted these idols of the king by Tennyson. Or that's what the newspaper said. That's right. But do you think that's good stuff for evangelism?

Starting point is 07:58:04 All right for a regular church, especially with a high-class rich congregation. But in a soul-saving campaign? My dear Mr. Guntry. Miss Faulkner and I have decided that even in the most aggressive campaign, there is no need of vulgarizing our followers. Well, that isn't what I'd give them. And what, pray, would you give them? The good old-fashioned hell, that's what?

Starting point is 07:58:36 Elmer peeped at Sharon and felt that she was smiling with encouragement. Yes, sir, like the hymn says, the hell of our fathers is good enough for me. Quite so. I'm afraid it isn't good enough for me, and I don't know that Jesus fancied it particularly. Well, you can be dead sure of one thing. When he stayed with Mary and Martha and Lazarus,

Starting point is 07:59:03 he wouldn't loaf around drinking tea with him. Why not, my dear man? Don't you know that tea was first imported by care of Van Train from Ceylon to Syria in 627 BC? Uh, no, didn't know just when? Why, of course. You've merely forgotten it. You must have read it in your university days of the great Epicurean expedition of Thalazar,

Starting point is 07:59:34 when he took the eleven hundred camels. Stalistar, you remember? Oh, yes, I remember. his expedition, but I didn't know he brought in tea. Why, naturally, rather. A Miss Falconer, the impetuous Mr. Shoup, wants to sing just as I am for his solo tonight. Is there any way of preventing it? Idle bear it is a good, saved soul.

Starting point is 08:00:06 But just as he is, he is too fat. Won't you speak to him? Oh, I don't know. Let him sing it. He's brought in lots of souls on that, yawned Sharon. Mangey little soes. Oh, stop being so supercilious. When you get to heaven, Cecil, you'll complain of the way the seraphim's...

Starting point is 08:00:29 Oh, do shut up. I know it's seraphim. My tongue just slipped. You'll complain of the kind of corsets they wear. I'm not at all sure, but that you really do picture that sort of heaven. with corseted angels and yourself with a golden mansion on the celestial parkling? Cecil Isleston, don't you quarrel with me tonight? I feel vulgar. That's your favorite word. I do wish I could save some of the members of my own crew.

Starting point is 08:01:04 Elmer, do you think God went to Oxford? Sure. And you did, of course. did not, by golly. I went to a Hick College in Kansas, and I was born in a Hick town in Kansas. Me too, practically. Oh, I did come from a frighteningly old Virginia family, and I was born in what they called a mansion. But still, we were so poor that our pride was ridiculous. Tell me, did you split wood and pull mustard when you were a boy? Did I say, you bet I. did? They sat with their elbows on the table, swapping boasts of provincial poverty,

Starting point is 08:01:50 proclaiming kinship while Cecil looked frosty. Part 6 Elmer's speech at the evangelistic meeting was a cloudburst. It had structure as well as baritone, melody, choice words, fascinating anecdotes, select sentiment, chased point of view and resolute piety. Ilmer was later to explain to admirers of his public utterances that nothing was more important than structure. What, he put it to them,

Starting point is 08:02:27 would they think of an architect who was fancy about paint and clapboards, but didn't plan the house. And tonight's euphemisms were full of structure. In one part he admitted that despite his commercial success, he had fallen into sin before the hour when, restless in his hotel room, he had idly fingered over a Gideon Bible, and been struck by the parable of the talents. In part two, he revealed, by stimulating examples from his own experience, the cash value of Christianity. He pointed out that merchants often preferred a dependable man to a known crook.

Starting point is 08:03:09 hitherto he had perhaps been a shade too realistic. He felt that Sharon would never take him on in place of Cecil Ileston unless she perceived the poetry with which his soul was gushing. So in part three he explained that what had made Christianity no mere dream in ideal but a practical human solvent was love. He spoke very nicely of love, He said the love was the morning star, the evening star, the radiance upon the quiet tomb, the inspirer equally of patriots and bank presidents, and as for music, what was it but the very

Starting point is 08:03:54 voice of love? He had elevated his audience, thirteen hundred, they were, and respectful, to a height of idealism from which he made them swoop now, like eagles to a pool of food. tears. For, oh, my brothers and sisters, important though it is to be prudent in this world's affairs, it is the world to come that is alone important. And this reminds me, in closing, of a very sad incident which I recently witnessed. In business affairs, I had often had to deal with a very prominent man named Jim Levinwell. I can give his name now because he has passed to his eternal reward. Old Jim was the best of good fellows, but he had a fatal defect. He drank liquor.

Starting point is 08:04:50 He smoked tobacco. He gambled, and I'm sorry to say that he did not always keep his tongue clean. He took the name of God in vain. But Jim was very fond of. of his family, particularly of his little daughter. Well, she took sick. Oh, what a sad time that was to that household. How the stricken mother tiptoed into and out of the sick room, how the worried doctors came and went, speeding to aid her. As for the father, poor old Jim,

Starting point is 08:05:27 he was bowed with anguish as he leaned over that pathetic little bed. and his hair turned gray in a single night. There came the great crisis, and before the very eyes of the weeping father, that little form was stilled. And that sweet, pure, young soul, passed to its maker. Thief came to me sobbing,

Starting point is 08:05:59 and I put my arms around him as I would round a little child, "'Oh, God!' he sobbed, "'that I should have spent my life in wicked vices, "'and that the little one should have passed away, "'knowing her dad was a sinner.' "'Thinking to comfort him,' I said, "'Oh, man, it was God's will that she be taken.

Starting point is 08:06:24 "'You have done all that mortal man could do, "'the best of medical attention, the best of care. "'I shall never forget how scum, cornfully, he turned upon me. And you call yourself a Christian, he cried. Yes, she had medical attention, but one thing was lacking the one thing that would have saved her. I could not pray.

Starting point is 08:06:55 And that strong man knelt in anguish, and for all my training in, in trying to explain the ways of God to my fellow. fellow businessmen, there was nothing to say. It was too late. Oh, my brothers, my fellow businessman, are you going to put off repentance till it's too late? That's you of fair, you say. Is it? Is it?

Starting point is 08:07:27 Have you a right to inflict upon all that you hold nearest and dearest, the sole burden of your sins? Do you love your sins Better than that dear little son That bonnie daughter That loving brother, that fine old father? Do you want to punish them? Do you?

Starting point is 08:07:47 Don't you love someone more than you do your sins? If you do, stand up. Isn't there someone here Who wants to stand up and help a fellow businessman carry this gospel of great joy to the world? Won't you come? Won't you help me? Oh, come.

Starting point is 08:08:11 Come down, and let me shake your hand. And they came, dozens of them, weeping while he wept at his own goodness. They stood afterward in the secluded space behind the white and gold platforms, Sharon and Elmer, and she cried, Oh, it was beautiful. Honestly, I almost cried myself. Elmer, it was just fine. Didn't I get him? Didn't I get him? Didn't I get him? Didn't I? Say, Sharon, I'm so glad it went over

Starting point is 08:08:48 because it was your show, and I wanted to give you all I could. He moved toward her, his arms out, and for once he was not producing the false ardor of Amherst diplomacy. He was the small boy, seeking the praise of his mother. But she moved away from him, begging, not sardonically. No, please. But you do like me. Yes, I do. How much?

Starting point is 08:09:22 Not very much. I can't like anyone very much. much, but I do like you. Someday I might fall in love with you, a tiny bit. If you don't rush me too much, but only physically, no one proudly can touch my soul. Do you think that's decent? Isn't that sin?

Starting point is 08:09:50 She flamed at him. I can't sin. I am above sin. I am really and truly sanctify. Whatever I may choose to do, though it might be sin in one unsanctified. With me, God will turn it to his glory. I can kiss you like this, quickly she touched his cheek, yes, or passionately, terribly passionately, and it would only symbolize my complete union with Jesus.

Starting point is 08:10:20 I have told you a mystery. You can never understand, but you can serve me. Would you like to? Yes, I would, and I've never served anybody yet. Can I? Oh, kick out this tea-drinking Molly Cottle Cicel, and let me work with you. Don't you need arms like these about you, just now and then, defending you? Perhaps, but I'm not to be hurried.

Starting point is 08:10:56 I am I. It is I who choose. Yes, I guess probably it is, Sharon. I think you've plum hypnotized me or something. No, but perhaps I shall, if I ever care to, I can do anything I want to. God chose me to do his work. I am the reincarnation of Joan of Arc, of Catherine of Siena. I have visions. God talks to me.

Starting point is 08:11:29 I told you once that I haven't had the brains to rival the men evangelists. Lies! False modesty! They are God's message, but I am God's right hand. She chanted it with her head back, her eyes closed, and even while he quaked. My God, she's crazy. He did not care. He would give up all to follow her.

Starting point is 08:12:00 Numbingly, he told her so. But she sent him away. And he crept off in a humility he had never known. End of Section 15. Section 16 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. This is the Librevox recording. All Librevox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Librevox.org.

Starting point is 08:12:30 Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 16, Chapter 12, Part 1. Two more series of meetings Sharon Falkner held that summer, and at each of them, the Power in the Machinery World, appeared and chronicled his conversion. by the Gideon Bible and the eloquence of Sister Falconer. Sometimes he seemed very near her. The next time she would regard him with bleak china eyes. Once she turned on him with, You smoke, don't you?

Starting point is 08:13:12 Why, yes. I smelled it. I hate it. Will you stop it entirely? And drinking? Yes. I will. And he did.

Starting point is 08:13:29 It was an agony of restlessness and craving, but he never touched alcohol or tobacco again, and he really regretted that, in evenings thus made vacuous, he could not keep from an interest in waitresses. It was late in August, in a small Colorado city, after the second of his appearances as a saved financial title, that he implored Sharon as they entered the hotel together, "'Oh, let me come up to your room.

Starting point is 08:14:03 Please, I never have a chance to just sit and talk with you.' "'Very well. Come in half an hour. Don't phone, just come right up to sweet bee.' It was a half hour of palpitating of almost timorous expectancy. In every city where she held meetings, Sharon was invited to stay at the home of one of the elect. But she always refused. She had a long standard explanation that she could devote herself more fully to the prayer life if she had her own place. And day by day filled it more richly with the aura of spirituality.

Starting point is 08:14:51 Elmer wondered whether it wasn't the aura of Cecil Isleston, for which she had her sweet, but he tried to keep his aching imagination away from that. The half-hour was over. He swayed upstairs to Sweet Bee and knocked a distant, Come in, she was in the bedroom beyond. He inched into the stale hotel parlor wallpaper, with two-foot roses, a table with an atrocious knobby gilt face, two stiff chairs and a grudging settee arranged around the wall.

Starting point is 08:15:34 The lilies, which her disciples had sent her, were decaying in boxes in a washbowl, in a heap in the corner. Round a china cuspidore they faint rose petals. She sat awkwardly on the edge of one of the chairs. He dared not venture beyond the dusty brocade curtains which separated the two rooms, but his fancy ventured fast enough. She threw open the curtains and stood there, a flame blasting the faded apartment. She had discarded her white robe for a dressing gown of scarlet with sleeves of cloth of gold, gold and scarlet, riotous black hair, long.

Starting point is 08:16:21 white face. She slipped over to the settee and summoned him. Come! He diffidently dropped his arm about her, and her head was on his shoulder. His arm drew tighter, but, oh, don't make love to me, she sighed, not moving. You'll know it all right when I want you to. Just be nice and comforting tonight. But I can't always... I know. Perhaps you won't always have to. Perhaps... Oh, I need...

Starting point is 08:17:01 What I need tonight is some salve for my vanity. Have I ever said that I was a reincarnated Joan of Arc? I really do have to believe that sometimes. Of course, it's just insanity. Actually, I'm a very ignorant young woman. with a lot of misdirected energy and some tiny idealism. I preached elegant sermons for six weeks, but if I stayed in a town six weeks and one day,

Starting point is 08:17:35 I'd have to start the music box over again. I can talk my sermons beautifully, but Cecil wrote most of them for me, and the rest I cheerfully stole. Do you like Cecil? "'Oh, he is a nice, jealous, big, fat man.' "'She who that evening had been a disturbing organ note "'was lisping baby talk now.

Starting point is 08:18:06 "'Dammit, Sharon. Don't try to be a baby when I'm serious.' "'Damn't say, damn it!' Elmer. Don't say damn it!' "'Oh, I hate the little vices, smoking, swearing scandal, drinking just enough to be silly. I love the big ones, murder, less, cruelty, ambition. And Cecil? Is he one of the big vices that you love? Oh, he's a dear boy.

Starting point is 08:18:37 So sweet the way he takes himself so seriously? Yes, but he must make love like an ice cream cone. You might be surprised. "'There, there, the poor man is just longing to have me say something mean about Cecil. "'I'll be obliging. He's done a lot for me. He really knows something. He isn't a splendid cast-iron statue of ignorance like you or me.' "'Now you look here, Sharon. After all, I am a college graduate and practically a B.D. too.' "'That's what I said. Cecil really knows how to read, and he taught me to quit acting like a hired girl, bless him.

Starting point is 08:19:27 But, oh, I've learned everything he can teach me, and if I get any more of the highbrow in me, I'll lose touch with the common people, bless their dear, sweet honest souls. Chuck him, take me on. Oh, it isn't the money. You must know that, dear. In ten years, at 38, I can be sales manager of the Piquot, probably 10,000 a year, and maybe someday the president at 30,000. I'm not looking for a job, but oh, I'm crazy about you. Except for my mother, you're the only person I've ever adored.

Starting point is 08:20:13 I love you. Hear me? Damn it, yes, damn. I said, I worship you. Oh, Sharon, Sharon, Sharon, it wasn't really bunk when I told them all tonight how you had converted me. Because you did convert me. Will you let me serve you? And will you maybe marry me?

Starting point is 08:20:43 No, I don't think I'll ever marry exactly. perhaps I'll chuck Cecil, poor sweet lead, and take you on. I'll see. Anyhow, let me think. She shook off his encircling arm and sat brooding chin on hand. He sat at her feet spiritually, as well as physically. She beatified him with, in September. I'll have only four weeks of meetings,

Starting point is 08:21:17 at Vincent's, I'm going to take off all October before my winter work. You won't know me then. I'm Dandy speaking indoors in big halls. And I'm going down to our home, the old Falconer family place in Virginia. Peppy and ma'am are dead now, and I own it. Old plantation. Would you like to come down there with me? "'Just us two, for a fortnight in October?'

Starting point is 08:21:52 "'Would I? My God!' "'Could you get away?' "'If it cost me my job. "'Then I'll wire you when to come after I get there, "'Hanning Hall, Broughton, Virginia. "'Now I think I'd better go to bed, dear sweet dreams.' "'Can't I text you?' you into bed? No, dear, I might forget to be Sister Falconer. Good night. Her kiss was like a

Starting point is 08:22:29 swallow's flight, and he went out obediently, marvelling that Elmer Gantry could for once love so much that he did not insist on loving. Part 2. In New York, he had bought a suit of Irish homespun, heather cap. He looked bulky, but pleasantly pastoral, as he gaped romantically from the poland window at the fields of Virginia. "'Oh, Virginia, oh, Virginia, oh, Virginia,' he hummed happily, worn fences, negro cabins, gallant horses and rocky pastures, a longing to see the gentry who rode such horses, and ever the blue hills. was an older world than his baking Kansas, older than Miss Pa seminary, and he felt a desire to be part of this traditional age to which Sharon belonged. Then as the Miles which still separated

Starting point is 08:23:34 him from the town of Broughton crept back of him, he forgot the warm, tinted land in anticipation of her. He was recalling that she was the aristocrat. the more formidable here in the company of FFV friends, he was more than usually timid and more than usually proud of his conquest. For a moment at the station he thought that she had not come to meet him. Then he saw a girl standing by an old country buggy. She was young, veritably a girl, in middy blouse deep cut at the throat, pleated white skirt, white shoes.

Starting point is 08:24:20 Her red tamishandar was rakish. Her smile was a country grin as she waved to him. And the girl was Sister Falconer. Oh, God, you're adorable, he murmured to her, as he plumped down his suitcase, and she was fragrant and soft in his arms as he kissed her. No more, she whispered, you're supposed to be my cousin, and even very nice cousins don't kiss quite so intelligently.

Starting point is 08:24:54 As the carriage jerked across the hills, as the harness creaked and the white horse grunted, he held her hand lightly in butterfly ecstasy. He cried out at the sight of Hane Hall as they drove through the dark pines, among shabby grass pots, through the bare sloping lawn. It was out of a story-book, a brick-house, not very large, with tall white pillars, white coppola, and dormer windows with tiny panes, and across the lawn paraded a peacock in the sun. Out of a story-book, too, was the pair of old negroes who bowed to them from the porch and hastened down the steps. the butler with green tailcoat and white mustache, almost encircling his mouth,

Starting point is 08:25:47 and the mammy in green calico, with an enormous grin and a histrionic courtesy. "'They've always cared for me, since I was a tiny baby,' Sharon whispered. "'I do love them, I do love this dear old place. That's,' she hesitated then defiantly, "'that's why I brought you here.' the butler took his bag up and unpacked while elmer wondered about the old bedroom impressed softly happy the hall was a series of pale landscapes manor houses beyond avenues of elms the bed was a fore-poster the fireplace of white enameled posts and mantel and on the broad oak boards of the floor polished by generations of forgotten feet were hooked rugs of the wood of the wood were hooked rugs of the the days of Crennelin.

Starting point is 08:26:44 Golly, I'm so happy I've come home, sighed Elmer. When the butler was gone, Elmer drifted to the window, and, golly, he said again, he had not realized in the buggy that they had climbed so high. Beyond the rolling pastures and woods was the Shenandoah, glowing with afternoon. Shenandoah, he crooned. Suddenly he was kneeling at the window, and for the first time since he had forsaken Jim Lefferts and football and joyous rivalry,

Starting point is 08:27:20 his soul was free of all the wickedness which had daubed it, oratorical ambitions, emotional orgasm, dead sayings of dull seers, dogmas and piety. The golden white, King Dean River drew him, the sky uplifted him, and with outflung arms he prayed for deliverance from prayer. I found her. Sharon. Oh, I'm not going to go on with this evangelistic bunk, trapping idiots into holy monkey shines. No. By God, I'll be honest. I'll tuck her under my arm and go out and fight. business. Put it over. Build something big and laugh, not snivel and shake hands with church members. I'll do it. Then and there ended his rebellion. The vision of the beautiful river was

Starting point is 08:28:24 hidden from him by a fog of compromises. How could he keep away from the evangelistic drama if he was to have Sharon? And to have Sharon was the one purpose of life. She loved her meetings, and she would never leave them, and she would rule him. And he was exalted by his own oratory. Besides, there is a lot to all this religious stuff. We'd do good. Maybe we'd jolly him into emotions too much, but don't that wake folks up from the ruts? Of course it does.

Starting point is 08:29:05 So he put on a white truss. turtleneck sweater, and with a firm, complacent tread, he went down to join Sharon. She was waiting in the hall, so light and young in her middy blouse and red tamp. Let's not talk seriously. I'm not Sister Falconer. I'm Sharon today.

Starting point is 08:29:28 Gee, to think I've ever spoken to five thousand people. Come on, I'll race you up the hill. the wide lower hall traditionally hung with steel engravings and a chickamauga sword led from the front door under the balcony of the staircase to the garden at the back still bold with purple asters and golden zinias through the hall she fled through the garden past the stone sun-dial and over the long rough grass to the orchard on the sunny hill no ceremonious juno now but a nymph and he followed heavily graceless the pounding on inescapable thinking less of her fleeting and tenderness than of the fact that since he had stopped smoking his wind certainly was a lot better certainly was "'You can run,' she said as she stopped, panting by a walled garden with Espellier roses. "'You bet I can, and I'm a grand footballer, a bear cat at tackling my young friend.' He picked her up, while she kicked and grudgingly admired,

Starting point is 08:30:45 "'You're terribly strong!' But the day of Halcyon October Sun was too serene even for his colishness, and sedately they tramped up the hill swinging their joined hands sedately they talk ever so hard he tried to live up to the falconer family an old mansion and darky mammies of the world menacing perils of higher criticism and the genius of e o excel as a composer of sacred but snappy melodies part four while he dressed that is what he put on the brown suit and a superior new tie elmer worried this sure intimacy was too perfect something would interrupt it sarin had spoken vaguely of brothers of high-nosed ants and cousins of a cloud of falconer witnesses and the house was large enough to secrete along its quarters a horde of relatives Would he, at dinner, have to meet hostile relics? Who would stare at him and make him talk,

Starting point is 08:32:00 and put him down as a piece of truyliger provinciality? He could see the implications in their level faded eyes. He could see Sharon swayed by their scorn, and delivered from such uncertain fascination as his lustiness and boldness had cast over her? Damn, he said, I'm just as good as they are. He came reluctantly downstairs to the shabby, endearing drawing-room, with its what-not of curios, a Chinese slipper,

Starting point is 08:32:36 a stag carved a black walnut, a shell from Madagascar, with its jar of tried cat-tails, its excretoire and gate-legged table, and a friendly old couch before the white fireplace. The room, the whole spread of, house was full of whispers and creakings and dead suspicious eyes. There had been no whispers and no memories in the cottage at Paris, Kansas. Elmer stood wistful. A little beaten boy, his running away hour with the daughter of the manor house, ended too worshipping to resent losing the one thing he wanted.

Starting point is 08:33:18 Then she was at the door, extremely uneventure. sensualistic, pleasantly worldly in an evening frock of black satin and gold lace. He had not known people who wore evening frocks. She held out her hand gaily to him, but it was not gaily that he went to her, meekly rather, resolved that he would not disgrace her before the suspicious family. They came hand in hand into the dining-room, and he saw that the table was set for, two only. He almost giggled.

Starting point is 08:33:58 Thought maybe there'd be a lot of folks. But he was saved, and he did not bustle about her chair. He said gray, said length. Candles and mahogany, silver and old lace, roses in wedgewood, canvas-back, and the butler in bottle green. He sank into a still happiness, as she told riotous stories of evangelism, of her tenor soloist, the plump Adelbert Shoup,

Starting point is 08:34:27 who loved Crem de Coco, of the Swedish farmer's wife who got her husband prayed out of drinking, cursing, and snuff habits, then tried to get him prayed out of plain checkers, whereupon he went out and got marvellously pickled on brawl alcohol. I have never seen you so, quiet before, she said, you really can be nice. Happy? Terribly. The roof of the front porch had been turned into an outdoor terrace, and here, wrapped up against the cool evening,

Starting point is 08:35:06 they had their coffee and peppermints in long deck chairs. They were above the treetops, and as their eyes widened in the darkness, they could see the river by starlight. The hoot of a wandering aisle. Then the kind air, the whispering air, crept around him. Oh, my God, it is so sweet, so sweet, he sighed as he fumbled for her hand, and felt it slip confidently into his. Suddenly he was ruthless, tearing it all down. Too darn sweet for me, I guess, I'm a bum. I'm not so bad as a preacher, or I wouldn't be if I had the chance. But me, I'm no good. I have cut out the booze and tobacco for you. I really have, but I used to drink like a fish. Until I met you, I never thought any woman, except my mother was any good. I'm just a second-rate

Starting point is 08:36:14 traveling man. I come from Paris, Kansas, and I'm not even up to. that Hickburg, because they are hard-working and decent there, and I'm not even that. And you? You're not only a prophetess, which you sure are, the real thing, but you're a falconer, family, old servants, this big old house. Oh, it's no use. You're too big for me, just because I do love you terribly. Because I can't lie to you. He had put away her slim hand, but it came grieving back over his,

Starting point is 08:36:59 her fingers tracing the valleys between his knuckles while she murmured. You will be big. I'll make you. And perhaps I'm a prophetess, a little bit, but I'm also a good liar. You see, I'm not. I'm not a falconer. There isn't any. My name is Katie Jonas. I was born in Utica. My dad worked on a brickyard. I picked out the name Sharon Faulkner while I was a stenographer. I never saw this house

Starting point is 08:37:38 till two years ago. I never saw these old family servants till then. They worked for the folks that own the place, and even they weren't falconers, they had the aristocratic name of Sprug. Incidentally, this place isn't a quarter paid for. And yet, I'm not a liar. I'm not. I am Sharon Faulkner now. I've made her by prayer and by having a right to be her, and you're going to stop being

Starting point is 08:38:12 poor Elmer Gantry of Paris, Kansas. you're going to be the Reverend Dr. Gentry, the great Captain of Souls. Oh, I'm glad you don't come from anywhere in particular. Cecil Ileston? Oh, I guess he does love me, but I always feel he's laughing at me. Hang him. He notices the infinitives I split, and not the souls I save. But you? Oh, you will serve me, won't you? Forever. And there was

Starting point is 08:38:52 little said then, even the agreement that she was to get rid of Cecil, to make Elmer her permanent assistant, was reached in a few casual assents. He was certain that the steely film of her dominance was withdrawn.

Starting point is 08:39:09 Yet, when they went in, she said gaily that they must be early a bed, up early tomorrow, and that she would take ten pounds off him at tennis. When he whispered, Where is your room, sweet? She laughed with a chillingly impersonality. You'll never know, poor lamb!

Starting point is 08:39:35 Elmer the Bold, Elmer the Enterprising, went clumping off to his room, and solemnly he undressed, wistful. He stood by the window, his soul riding out on the darkness to incomprehensible destinations. He humped into bed and dropped towards sleep, too weary with fighting her resistance, to lie thinking of possible to-morrows. He heard a scratching noise. It seemed to him that it was the doorknob tournob turning. He set up, throbbing.

Starting point is 08:40:13 The sound was frightened away, but began again a faint grating, and the bottom of the door switched slowly on the carpet. The fan of pale light from the hall widened, and craning he could see her, but only as a ghost, a white film. He held out his arms desperately, and presently she stumbled against him. "'No, please,' hers was the voice of a sleep-walker. "'I just came in to say good-night and tuck you into bed. Such a bothered, unhappy child?

Starting point is 08:40:55 Into bed. I'll kiss you good-night and run.' His head burrowed into the pillow. Her hand touched his cheek lightly, yet through her fingers, he believed, flowed a current, which lulled him into slumber, a slumber momentarily but deep with contentment. With an effort, he said, You too, you need comforting.

Starting point is 08:41:21 Maybe you need bossing. When I get over being scared of you. No, I must take my loneliness alone. I'm different, whether it's cursed or blessed, but lonely, yes, lonely. He was sharply awake as, her fingers slipped up to his cheek across the temple into his swart hair. "'Your hair is so thick,' she said drowsily.

Starting point is 08:41:53 "'Your heart beats so, dear Sharon.' And suddenly, clutching his arm, she cried, "'Come, it is the call!' He was bewildered as he followed her, white in her nightgown trimmed at the throat with white fur, out of his room down the hall up a steep little stairway to her own apartments. The more bewildered to go from that genteel corridor with its forget-me-not wallpaper and stiff engravings of Virginia Worthies into a furnace of scarlet.

Starting point is 08:42:27 Her bedroom was as insane as an oriental cozy corner of 1895, a couch high on carbon ivory posts, covered with a mandarin, ivory posts, covered with a mandarin, and coat, unlighted brass lamps in the lightness of mosques and pagodas, gilt paper-machet armor on the walls, a wide dressing-table with a score of cosmetics in odd Parisian bottles, tall candlesticks, the twisted and flowered candles lighted, and over everything, a hint of incense.

Starting point is 08:43:05 She opened a closet, tossed a robe to him, and cried, for the service of the altar and vanished into a dressing-room beyond diffidently feeling rather like a fool he put on the rope it was of purple velvet embroidered with black symbols unknown to him the collar heavy with gold thread he was not quite sure what he was to do and he waited obediently she stood in the doorway posing while he gaped she was so tall and her hands at her side the backs up and the fingers arched moved like lilies on the bosom of a stream she was she was fantastic and a robe of deep crimson adorned with golden stars and crescents swastikas and tow-crosses her feet were in silver sandals and round her hair was a tiara of silver moons set with steel points that flickered in the candlelight. A mist of incense floated about her seemed to rise from her, and as she slowly raised her arms, he felt in school-boyish awe that she was, veritably, a priestess. Her voice was under the spell of the sleep-walker once more, as she sighed,

Starting point is 08:44:34 Come, it is the chapel. she marched to a door part hidden by the couch and led them into a room now he was no longer part amorous part inquisitive but all uneasy what hanky-panky of construction had been performed he never knew perhaps it was merely that the floor above his small room had been removed so that it stretched up two stories but in any one of the floor above his small room had been removed so that it stretched up two stories but in any case, there it was, a shrine bright as bedlam at the bottom, but seeming to rise through darkness through the sky. The walls were hung with black and velvet. There were no chairs, and the whole room focused on a wide altar. It was an altar of grotesque humor or madness, draped with Chinese fabrics, crimson, apricot, emerald, gold. There were two stages of pink marble. Able. Able. A Above the altar hung an immense crucifix with the Christ bleeding at nail wounds and pierced side,

Starting point is 08:45:45 and on the upper stage were plaster busts of the Virgin, St. Teresa, St. Catherine, a garish, sacred heart, a dolorous simulchrum of the dying St. Stephen, but crowded on the lower stages was a crazy rout of what Elmer called heathen idols. ape-headed gods crocodile-headed gods a god with three heads and a god with six arms a jade in ivory buddha and alabaster naked venus and in the centre of them all a beautiful hideous intimidating and alluring statuette of a silver goddess with a triple crown and a face as thin and long and passionate as that of Sharon Faulkiner. Here Sharon suddenly knelt, waving him to his knees as she cried, It is the hour, blessed virgin, Mother Hera, Mother Frigga, Mother Ishtar, Mother Isis, Dread Mother Astarte of the weaving arms. It is thy priestess. It is she who, after the blind centuries and the groping ears shall make it known to the world that ye are one, and that in me

Starting point is 08:47:15 are ye all revealed, and that in this revelation shall come peace and wisdom universal, the secret of the spheres and the pit of understanding. Ye who have leaned over me, and on my lips pressed your immortal fingers, take this, my brother, to your bosoms open his eyes release his pinion spirit make him as the gods that with me he may carry the revelation for which a thousand thousand grievous years the world has panted O rosy cross and mystic power of ivory, Hear my prayer. O sublime April crescent, Hear my prayer.

Starting point is 08:48:05 O sword of undaunted steel most excellent, Hear thou my prayer. O serpent with unfathomal eyes, Hear my prayer. Ye veiled ones and ye bright ones From caves forgotten, The peaks of the future, a clanging today, join in me. Lift up, receive him. Dread, nameless ones, yea, lift us then,

Starting point is 08:48:35 mystery on mystery, sphere above sphere, dominion on dominion to the very thrones. She picked up a Bible which lay by her on the long velvet cushion at the foot of the altar. She crammed into his hands and cried, Read, read, quickly. It was open at the song of Solomon, and bewildered, he chanted. How beautiful are thy feet

Starting point is 08:49:06 with shoes, O prince's daughter, the joints of thy thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning workman. Thy two breasts are like two young rows. Thy neck is as a power of ivory. the hair of thine head like purple the king is held in the galleries how fair and how pleasant art thou o love for delights she interrupted him her voice high and a little shrill oh mystical rose o lily most admirable o wondrous union o saint anna mother immaculate demeter mother beneficent laxhmi mother most shining behold, I am his, and he is yours, and ye are mine.

Starting point is 08:50:02 As he read on, his voice rose like a triumphant priest. I said I will go up to the palm tree. I will take hold of the boughs thereof. That verse he never finished, for she swayed sideways as she knelt before the altar and sank into his arms. Her lips parted. Part four. They sat on the hilltop, looking down on noon in the valley, sleepily talking till he roused with, Why won't you marry me? No, not for years anyway. I'm too old, thirty-two to your, what is it, twenty-eight or nine,

Starting point is 08:50:48 and I must be free for the service of our service of our own. Lord. You do know I mean that. I am really consecrated, no matter what I may seem to do. Sweet, of course I do. Oh, yes. But not to marry. It's good at times to be just human, but mostly I have to live like a saint. Besides, I do think men, converts come in better if they know I'm not. married. Damn it, listen. Do you love me a little? Yes, a little.

Starting point is 08:51:31 Oh, I'm as fond of you as I can be of anyone except Katie Jonas, dear child. She dropped her head on his shoulder casually now, in the bee-thrumming orchid aisle, and his arm tightened. That evening they sang gospel hymns together to the edification of the the old family servants, who began to call him a doctor. End of Section 16. Section 17 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. This is a Libravox recording.

Starting point is 08:52:08 All Libravox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Libravox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 17 Chapter 13 Part 1 Not until December did Sharon Falconer take Elmer on as assistant. When she discharged Cecil Iylundstrom,

Starting point is 08:52:35 he said, in a small, cold voice, this is the last time, my dear prophet and peddler, that I shall ever try to be decent. But it has known that for several months he tried to conduct a rescue mission in Buffalo. And if he was examined for insanity, it was because he was seen to sit for hours staring. He was killed in a gambling den in Juarez,

Starting point is 08:53:02 and when she heard of it, Sharon was very sorry. She spoke of going to fetch his body, but she was too busy with Holy Word. Elmer joined her at the beginning of the meetings in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. He opened the meetings for her, made announcements, offered prayer, preached when she was too weary, and led the singing when Adelbert Shute, the musical director, was indisposed. He developed a dozen sound sermons out of encyclopedias of exegesis, handbooks for evangelists, and manuals of sermon outlines.

Starting point is 08:53:41 He had a powerful discourse used in the For Men Only Service, on the strength and joy of complete chastity. He told how Jim Leffingwell saw the folly of pleasure at the deathbed of his daughter, and he had an uplifting address suitable to all occasions on love as the morning and the evening star. He helped Sharon, whereas Cecil had held her back, or so she said, While she kept her vocabulary of poetic terms, Elmer encouraged her in just the soapbox denunciation of sin, which had made Cecil shudder. Also, he spoke of Cecil as Osiric, which she found very funny indeed, and as Percy and Alzernon. He urged her to tackle the biggest towns, the most polite or rowdy audiences, and to advertise herself

Starting point is 08:54:43 not in the Wetkitten High Church phrases approved by Cecil, but in a manner befitting a circus, an Elks convention, or a new Messiah. Under Elmer's urging, she ventured for the first time into the larger cities. She descended on Minneapolis and, with his support of only church sects as the full gospel assembly, the Nazarenes, the Church of God, and the Wesleyan Methodists, she risked her savings in hiring and armory, and inserting two-column six-inch advertisements of herself.

Starting point is 08:55:20 Minneapolis was quite as enlivened as smaller places by Sharon's voice and eyes, by her Grecian robes, by her gold and white pyramidal altar, and the prophets were gratifying. Thereafter she sandwiched Indianapolis, Rochester, Atlanta, Seattle, the two Portland's, Pittsburgh in between smaller cities. For two years, life was a whirlwind to Elmer Gantry.

Starting point is 08:55:48 It was so frantic that he could never remember which town was which. Everything was a blur of hot sermons, riving converts, appeals for contributions, trains, denunciation of lazy personal workers, denunciations of Adelbert Shoup for getting drunk, firing of Adelbert Shoop, taking back of Adelbert Shub, when no other tenor so unctuously pious was to be found. Of one duty he was never weary, of standing around and being impressive, and very male for the benefit of ladies' seekers.

Starting point is 08:56:29 How tenderly he would take their hands and moan, won't you hear the dear Savior's voice calling, sister? And all of them? Spinsters with pathetic, dried girlishness, misunderstood wives, held fast to his hand, and were added to the carefully kept total of saved souls. Sharon saw to it that he dressed the part, double-breasted dark blue with a dashing tie in winter, and in summer white suits with white shoes. But however loudly the skirts rustled about him, so great was Sharon's intimidating charm that he was true to her. If he was a dervish figure these two years, she was a shooting star,

Starting point is 08:57:18 inspired in her preaching, passionate with him, then a naughty child who laughed and refused to be serious, even at the sermon hour, gallantly generous, then a tight-fisted virigo squabbling over ten cents for stamps, Always, in every high-colored mood, she was his religion and his reason for being. Part 2. When she attacked the larger towns and asked for the support of the richer churches, Sharon had to create several new methods in the trade of evangelism.

Starting point is 08:57:58 The churches were suspicious of women evangelists. Women might do very well in visiting this. sick, knitting for the heathen and giving Stroybury festivals, but they couldn't shout loud enough to scare the devil out of sinners. Indeed, all evangelists, men and women were under attack. Sound churchmen here and there were asking whether there was any peculiar spiritual value in frightening people into grovelling maniacs. They were publishing statistics which asserted that not 10% of the converts at emotional revival meetings remained church members. They were even so commercial as to inquire why a pastor,

Starting point is 08:58:45 with a salary of $2,000 a year, when he got it, should agonize over helping an evangelist to make $10,000, $40,000. All these dollars had to be answered. Elmer persuaded Sharon to discharge her former advanced agent. He had been a minister and contributor to the religious press till the unfortunate affair of the oil stock and hire a real press agent trained in newspaper work, circus advertising, and real estate promoting. It was Elmer and the press agent who worked up the new technique of risky but impressive defiance.

Starting point is 08:59:29 where the former advanced man had begged the ministers and wealthy laymen of the town to which sharon wanted to be invited to appreciate her spirituality and had set nervously about hotels the new salesman of salvation was brusque I can't waste my time and the Lord's time, waiting for you people, to make up your minds. Sister Falconer is especially interested in this city because she has been informed that there is a subterranean quickening here, such as would simply jam your churches with a grand new outpouring of the spirit, provided some real expert like her, came to set the fuss aright. But there are so many other towns begging for her services

Starting point is 09:00:24 that if you can't make up your minds immediately, we'll have to accept their appeals and pass you up. Sorry, can only wait till midnight tonight. Reserved my Pullman already. There were ever so many ecclesiastical bodies who answered that they didn't see why he waited till even midnight.

Starting point is 09:00:51 But if they were thus intimidated into signing the contract, an excellent contract drawn up by a devout Christian scientist's lawyer named Finkelstein, they were the more prepared to give spiritual and financial support to Sharon's labors when she did arrive. The new press agent was finally so impressed by the beauties of evangelism, as contrasted with his form.

Starting point is 09:01:18 circuses and real estate, that he was himself converted, and sometimes when he was in town with the troop, he sang in the choir and spoke to YMCA classes in journalism. But even Elmer's arguments could never get him to give up a sturdy, plotting devotion to poker. Part 3 The contract signed. The advanced man remembered his former newspaper. labors, and for a few days he became touchingly friendly with all the reporters in town.

Starting point is 09:01:55 There were late parties at his hotel. There was much sending of bell-hops for more bottles of Wilson and Whitehorse and Green River. The press agent admitted that he really did think that Miss Faulkner was the greatest woman since Sarah Bernhardt, and he let the boys have stories guaranteed hell exclusive. of her beauty, the glories of her family, her miraculous power of fetching sitters, or rain by prayer, and the rather vaguely dated time when, as a young girl, she had been recognized by Dwight Moody as his successor.

Starting point is 09:02:36 South of the Mason-Dixon line, her grandfather was merely Mr. Falconer, a bellicose and pious man, but far enough north he was, General Falconer of Old Virginia, preferably spelled that way, who had been the advisor and solace of General Robert E. Lee. The press agent also wrote the posters for the ministerial alliance, giving Satan a generous warning as to what was to happen to him. So when Sharon and the troop arrived, the newspapers were eager, the walls and shop windows were scarlet with placards, and the town was breathless. sometimes a thousand people gathered at the station for her arrival.

Starting point is 09:03:23 There were always a few infidels, particularly among the reporters, who had doubted her talents. But when they saw her in the train vestibule, in a long white coat, when she had stood there a second with her eyes closed, lost in prayer for this new community, when slowly she held out her white nervous hands in greeting, then the advanced agent's work was two-thirds done here,

Starting point is 09:03:51 and he could go on to whiten new fields for the harvest. But there was still plenty of discussion before Sharon was rid of the forces of selfishness and able to get done to the job of spreading light. Local committees were always stubborn. Local committees were always jealous. Local committees were always lazy, and local committees were always told these facts with vigor. The heart of the arguments was money.

Starting point is 09:04:22 Sharon was one of the first evangelists to depend for all her profit, not on a share of the contributions, nor on a weekly offering, but on the one night devoted entirely to a voluntary thank offering for her and her crew alone. It sounded unselfish, and it brought in more. Every devotee saved up for that occasion, and it proved easier to get one fifty-dollar donation than a dozen of a dollar each.

Starting point is 09:04:56 But to work up this loan offering to suitably thankful proportions, a good deal of loving and efficient preparation was needed, reminders given by the chief pastors, bankers, and other, holy persons of the town, the distribution of envelopes over which devotees were supposed to brood for the whole six weeks of the meetings and innumerable newspaper paragraphs about the self-sacrifice and heavy expense of the evangelists. It was over these innocent necessary precautions that the local committees always showed their meanness. They liked giving over only one contribution to the evangelist, but they wanted nothing said about it till they themselves

Starting point is 09:05:46 had been taken care of, till the rent of the hall or the cost of building a tabernacle, the heat, the lights, the advertising, and other expenses had been paid. Sharon would meet the committees, a score of clergymen, a score of their most respectable deacons, a few angular Sunday school superintendents, a few disappointing wives in a church parlor, and for the occasion she always wore the gray suit and an air of metropolitan firmness, and swung a pair of pincese with lenses made of window-glass. While in familiar words the local chairman was explaining to her that their expenses were heavy, She would smile as though she knew something they could not guess,

Starting point is 09:06:38 and then let fly at them breathlessly, I'm afraid there is some error here. I wonder if you are quite in the mood to forget all material things and really throw yourselves into the self-abnegating glory of a hot campaign for souls? I know all, you have to say. As a matter of fact, you've forgotten to mention your expenses for watchmen, extra hymn books, and hiring camp chairs. But you haven't got the experience to appreciate my expenses.

Starting point is 09:07:15 I have to maintain almost as great as staff, not only workers and musician, but all my other representatives whom you never see as though I had a factory. Besides them, I have my charities. There is, for example, the old lady's home which I keep up entirely. Oh, I shan't say anything about it, but if you could see those poor aged women turning to me with such anxious faces. Where that old lady's home was, Elmer never learned.

Starting point is 09:07:52 We came here without any guarantees. We depend wholly on the free will offering of the last day, and I'm afraid you are going to stress the local expenses so that people will not feel like giving on the last day even enough to pay the salaries of my assistance. I'm taking, if it were not that I abominate the pitiful and character-destroying vice of gambling, I'd say that I'm taking such a terrible gamble

Starting point is 09:08:26 that it frightens me. But there it is, and? While she was talking, Sharon was sizing up this new assortment of clergy. The cranks, the testy-mail old maids, the advertising and pushing demagogues, the commonplace pulpit holders, the straddling young liberals, the real mystics, the kindly fathers of their flocks, and the lovers of righteousness. She had picked out as her advocate the most sympathetic, and she launched her prayer oration straight at him.

Starting point is 09:09:03 Do you want to ruin me so that never again shall I be able to carry the message? To carry salvation to the desperate souls who are everywhere waiting for me, crying for my help? Is that your purpose? You, the elect, the people chosen to help me in the service of the dear Lord Jesus himself? Is that your purpose? Is it? Is it?

Starting point is 09:09:36 She began sobbing, which was Elmer's cue to jump up and have a wonderful new idea. He knew, did Elmer, that the dear brethren and sisters had no such purpose. they just wanted to be practical. Well, wouldn't it be a good notion for the committee to go to the well-to-do church members and explain the unparalleled situation? Tell them that this was the Lord's work, and that aside from the unquestioned spiritual benefits,

Starting point is 09:10:09 the revival would do so much good that crime would cease and taxes thus be lessened, that workmen would turn from agitation to higher things, and work more loyally at the same wages. If they got enough pledges from the rich for current expenses, those expenses would not have to be stressed at the meetings, and people would properly be coached to save up for the final thank-offering, not have to be nagged,

Starting point is 09:10:39 to give more than small coins at the nightly collections. There were other annoyances to discuss with the local committee? Why, Elmer would demand, hadn't they provided enough dressing rooms in the tabernacle? Sister Falconer needed privacy. Sometimes just before the meeting, she and he had to have important conferences. Why hadn't they provided more volunteer ushers? He must have them at once to train them, for it was the ushers, when properly coached, who could ease the struggling souls up to the altar for the

Starting point is 09:11:17 skilled finishing touches by the experts. Had they planned to invite big delegations from the local institutions? From Smith Brothers Catch-A-Factory? From the car shops? From the packing house? Oh, yes, they must plan to stir up these institutions. An evening would be dedicated to each of them. The representatives would be seated together,

Starting point is 09:11:43 and they'd have such a happy time singing their face. favorite hymns. By this time, the little dazed, the local committee were granting everything, and they looked almost convinced when Sharon wound up with a glad, ringing, All of you must look forward, and joyfully, to a sacrifice of time and money in these meetings. We have come here at great sacrifice, and we are here only to help you. The afternoon and evening sermons, those were the high points of the meetings, when Sharon cried out in a loud voice, her arms out to them, "'Surely the Lord is in this place, and I knew it's not.

Starting point is 09:12:32 And all our righteousness is as filthy rags. And we have sinned and come short of the glory of God. And, oh, for the man to arise in me, that the man I am may cease to be, and get right with God, and I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God into salvation. But before even these guaranteed appeals could reach wicked hearts, the audience had to be prepared for emotion, and to accomplish this, there was as much labor behind Sharon's eloquence as there is of wardrobes and scene-shifters and box offices

Starting point is 09:13:25 behind the frenzy of Lady Macbeth. Of this preparation, Elmer had a great part. He took charge as soon as she had trained him of the men-personal workers, leaving the girls to the director of personal work, a young woman who liked dancing and glass jewelry. but who was admirable at listening to the confessions of spinsters. His workers were bank-tellers, bookkeepers and wholesale groceries, shoe clerks, teachers of manual training, they canvassed shops, wholesale warehouses and factories, and held noon meetings in offices,

Starting point is 09:14:09 where they explained that the most proficient use of shorthand did not save one from the probability of hell. for Elmer explained that prospects were more likely to be converted if they came to the meetings with a fair amount of fear. When they were permitted, the workers were to go from desk to desk talking to each victim about the secret sins he was comfortably certain to have. and both men and women workers were to visit the humbler homes and offer to kneel and pray with the flowery and embarrassed wife the pipe-reathed and shoeless husband. All the statistics of the personal work, so many souls invited to come to the altar, so many addresses to workmen over their lunch bails, so many cottage prayers, with the length of each, were rather imaginatively entered by Elmer and the director of personal work on the

Starting point is 09:15:12 balance sheet, which Sharon used as a report after the meetings, and as a talking point for the sale of future meetings. Elmer met daily with Adelbert Schoop, that yearning an innocent tenor, who was in charge of music to select hymns. There were times when the audiences had to be lured into confidence by softly and tenderly Jesus is calling. Times when they were to feel brotherly and rustic with it's the old-time religion. He was good enough for Paul and Silas and and is good enough for me. And times when they had to be stirred by at the cross or onward Christian soldiers. Adelbert had ideas about what he called worship by melody,

Starting point is 09:16:05 but Elmer saw that the real purpose of singing was to lead the audience to a state of mind where they would do as they were told. He learned to pick out letters on the typewriter with two fingers, and he answered Sharon's mail, all of it that she let him see. He kept books for her in a ragged, sufficient manner, on checkbook stubs. He wrote the nightly story of her sermons, which the newspapers cut down and tucked in among stories of remarkable conversions.

Starting point is 09:16:37 He talked to local church pillars of so rich and moral that their own pastors were afraid of them, and he invented an aid to salvation, which to this day is used in the more evangelistic meetings, though it is credited to Adelbert Shoup. Adelbert was up to most of the current diversions. He urged the men and the women to sing against each other. At the tense moment when Sharon was calling for converts, Adelbert would skip down the aisle, fat but nimble, pink with coy smiles, tapping people on the shoulder,

Starting point is 09:17:17 singing the chorus of a song right among them, and often returning with three or four prisoners of the sword of the Lord, flapping his plump arms and caroling, They're coming, they're coming, which somehow started a stampede to the altar. Adelbert was, and his girlish enthusiasm, almost as good as Sharon or Elmer, at announcing,

Starting point is 09:17:43 Tonight you are all of you to be evangelists. Every one of you now. Shake hands with a person to your right and ask him if they're saved. He gloated over their embarrassment. He really was a man of parts. Nevertheless, it was Elmer, not Elbert, who invented the Hallelujah yell, remembering his college cheers, remembering how greatly it had encouraged him in

Starting point is 09:18:11 neighing the opposition tackle, or jabbing the rival senator's knee, some were observed to himself, why shouldn't we have yells in this game, too? He himself wrote the first one, known in history. Hallelujah, praise the Lord, how, how, how, how. Hallelujah, praise God, how, how, how. Altogether, I feel better, how, how, how, how, for the salvation of the nation.

Starting point is 09:18:42 Amen. That was a thing to be a thing. to hear. When Elmer led them, when he danced before them, swooned his big arms and bellowing, now again, two yards to gain, two yards for the Savior. Come on, boys and girls, it's our team. Going to let him down? Not on your life. Come on, then, you chip monks, and let me hear you knock the old roof off. How, how, how? Many a hesitating boy, a little sickened by the intense brooding femininity of Sharon's appeal was thus brought up to the platform to shake hands with Elmer and learn the benefits of religion. Part 5

Starting point is 09:19:28 The Gospel Coo could never consider their converts as human beings, like waiters or manicurist or breakmen, but they had in each of them a professional interest, as surgeons take in patience, critics in an author, Fisherman in Trout. They were obsessed by the Gaffer and Terre Haute, who got converted every single night during the meetings. He may have been insane. He may have been a plain drunk. But every evening he came in, looking at an oil,

Starting point is 09:20:01 and thoroughly backslid. Every evening he slowly spoke to his higher needs during the sermon, and when the call for converts came, he leapt up, shouted hallelujah, I found it, and galloped forward, elbowing the real and valuable prospects out of the aisle. The crew waited for him as campers for a mosquito. In Scranton, they had unusually exasperating patience. Scranton had been saved by a member of other evangelists before their arrival,

Starting point is 09:20:36 and had become almost anesthetic. ten nights they sweated over the audience without a single sinner coming forward and elmer had to go out and hire half a dozen convincing converts he found them in a mission near the river and explained that by giving a good example to the slothful they would be doing the work of god and that if the example was good enough he would give them five dollars a piece the missionary himself came in during the conference and offered to get converted for tin but he was so well known that elmer had to give him the tin to stay away his game of converts was very impressive but thereafter no member of evangelistic troop was safe the professional christians besieged the tent night and day they wanted to be saved again and when they were refused they offered to present new converts at $5 a piece, $3 a piece, $0.50 in a square meal. By this time, enough authentic and free enthusiasts were appearing, and though they were fervent they did not relish being saved in company with hobos, who smelled.

Starting point is 09:21:58 When the half-dozen cappers were thrown out bodily by Elmer and Art Nichols, they took to coming to the meetings and cat-calling, so they, that for the rest of the series they had to be paid a dollar and night eat to stay away. No, Elmer could not consider the converts even. Sometimes when he was out in the audiences, playing the bullying hero that Judson Roberts had once played with him, he looked up at the platform where a row of men under conviction knelt with their arms on chairs and their broad butts toward the crowd, and he wanted to snicker and wield a small plank. But five minutes after, he would be up there,

Starting point is 09:22:44 kneeling with a sewing machine agent, with the day after shakes his arm around the client's shoulders, pleading in the tones of a mother cow, Can't you surrender to Christ, brother? Don't you want to give up all the dreadful habits that are ruining you, keeping you back from success? Listen, God will help. you make good. And when you're lonely, old man, remember he's there, waiting to talk to.

Starting point is 09:23:14 Part 6 They generally, before the end of the meetings, worked up gratifying feeling. Often, young women knelt panting, their eyes blank, their lips wide with ecstasy. Sometimes, when Sharon was particularly fired, they actually had the phenomenon of the great revivals of 1800s. People twitched and jumped with the holy jerks. Old people under the Pentecostal inspiration, spoke in unknown tongues, completely unknown. Women stretched out senseless, their tongues dripping, and once occurred what connoisseurs regard as the highest example of religious inspiration. Four men and two women crawled about a pillar, barking like dogs, barking. the devil out of the tree. Sharon relished these miracles. They showed her talent. They were sound

Starting point is 09:24:12 manifestations of divine power. But sometimes they got the meetings a bad name, and Cynics prostrated her by talking of holy rollers. Because of this maliciousness and because of the excitement which she found in meetings, so favored by the Holy Ghost, Elmer had particularly to comfort her afterward. Part 7. All the members of the evangelistic crew planned effects to throw a brighter limelight on Sharon. There is feverish discussions of her costumes. Albert had planned the girdled white robe in which she appeared as pre-stice,

Starting point is 09:24:53 and he wanted her to wear it always. You are so queenly, he whimpered, but Elmer insisted on changes, on keeping the robe for crucial meetings, and Sharon went out for embroidery golden velvet frocks, and at meetings for businesswomen, smart white flannel suits. They assisted her also in the preparation of new sermons. Her message was delivered under a hypnotism of emotion without connection with her actual life.

Starting point is 09:25:29 Now Portia, now Ophelia, now Francesca, she drew men to her, did with them as she would. Or again, she saw herself as veritably the scourge of God. But however richly she could pour out passion, however flamingly, she used the most exotic words and the most complex sentiments. When someone had taught them to her, it was impossible for her to originate any sentiment, more profound than,

Starting point is 09:26:01 I'm unhappy. She read nothing, after Cecil Iylstrom's going, but the Bible and the advertisements of rival evangelists in the bulletin of the Moody Bible Institute. Lacking Cecil, it was a desperate and co-operative affair to furnish Sharon with fresh sermons as she grew tired of acting the old ones. Adelbert Shoup provided the poetry.

Starting point is 09:26:30 He was fond of poetry. He read Ellis Wheeler Wilcox, James Wickham Riley, and Thomas Moore. He was also a student of philosophy. He could understand Ralph Waldo trying perfectly, and he furnished for Sharon's sermons, both the couplets about home and little ones, and the philosophical points about willpower, thoughts are things, and love is beauty.

Starting point is 09:26:56 Beauty is love, love is all. The lady director of personal work had unexpected talent in making up anecdotes about the deathbeds of drunkards and agnostics. Lily Anderson, the pretty though anemic pianist, had once been a schoolteacher and had read a couple of books about scientists, so she was able to furnish data

Starting point is 09:27:20 with which Sharon absolutely confluded the rising fad of evolution. And Art Nichols, the coronetist, provided rude but moral main humor, stories about horse-trading cabbages and hard cider, very handy for cajoling skeptical businessmen. But Elmer, being trained theologically, had to weave all the elements, dogma, poetry, to the effect that God's palate held the sunsets wherever the world began. Confessions of the dismally damned and stories of main barns,

Starting point is 09:27:58 dances into one reing wool. And meanwhile, besides the Reverend Sister Falconer and the Reverend Mr. Gantry, thus cooperative, there were Sharon and Elmer and a crew of quite human people with grievances, traveling together, living together, not always in a state of happy innocence. End of Section 17. Section 18 of Elmer Gantry by Sinai. Claire Lewis. This is a Libravox recording. All Libravox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Libravox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 18, Chapter 14, Part 1

Starting point is 09:28:49 Sedate as a long-married couple, intimate and secure, were Elmer and Sharon on most days, and always he was devoted. It was Sharon who was incalculable. Sometimes she was a priestess and a looming disaster. Sometimes she was intimidating in grasping passion. Sometimes she was thin and writhing and anguished with chagrined doubt of herself. Sometimes she was pale and none alike and still. Sometimes she was a chilly businesswoman, and sometimes she was a little girl.

Starting point is 09:29:26 In the last quite authentic role, Elmer loved her fondly, except when she assumed it just as she was due to go out and hypnotize 3,000 people. He would beg her, Oh, come on now, Shara, please be good, please stop pouting, and go out and lambastom. She would stomp her foot while her face changed to a round childishness, No, don't want to go evangel. Want to be bad. Bad. Want to throw things. Want to go out and spank a bald man on the head. Tired of souls. Want to tell them all to go to hell. Oh, gee. Please, Shera. Gosh all fish hooks. They're waiting for you. Albert has sung that verse twice now. I don't care. Sing it again. Sing songs.

Starting point is 09:30:25 Losh songs, going to be bad. Going out and drop mice down Adelbert's fat neck, fat neck, fat holy neck. But suddenly, I wish I could. I wish they'd let me be bad. Oh, I get so tired, all of them reaching for me, sucking my blood, wanting me to give them the courage, they're too flabby to get for themselves. And a minute later, she was standing before the audience, rejoicing,

Starting point is 09:31:00 Oh, my beloved, the dear Lord has a message for you tonight. And in two hours, as they rode in a taxi to the hotel, she was sobbing on his breast. Hold me close. I'm so lonely and afraid and cold. Part two. Among his various relations to her, Elmer was Sharon's employee. and he resented the fact that she was making five times more than he of that money for which he had a reverent admiration. When they had first made plans, she had suggested, Dear, if it all works out properly, in three or four years, I want you to share the offerings with me.

Starting point is 09:31:47 But first, I must save a lot. I've got some vague plans to build a big sense, for our work, maybe with a magazine and a training school for evangelists. When that's paid for, you and I can make an agreement. But just now, how much have you been making as a traveling man? Oh, about 300 a month, about 3,500 a year? He was really fond of her. He was lying to the extent of only 500.

Starting point is 09:32:22 Then I'll start you in at 3,800, and in four or five years I hope it'll be 10,000, maybe twice as much. And she never, month after month, discussed salary again. It irritated him. He knew that she was making more than 20,000 a year, and that before long she would probably make 50,000. But he loved her so completely that he scarce thought of it oftener than three. three or four times a month. Part three. Sharon continued to house her troop in hotels for independence,

Starting point is 09:33:02 but an unfortunate misunderstanding came up. Elmer had stayed in her room, engaged in a business conference, so late that he accidentally fell asleep across the foot of her bed. So tired were they both that neither of them awoke till nine in the morning, when they were aroused by Adelbert Shoop, knocking and innocently skipping in. Sharon raised her head to see Adelbert giggling. How dare you come into my room without knocking, you sausage?

Starting point is 09:33:37 She raged. Have you no sense of modesty or decency? Beat it, potato! When Adelbert had gone, simpering out, Cheaping, honest, I won't say anything. Then Elmer fretted. Golly, do you think he'll blackmail us?

Starting point is 09:33:58 Oh, no. Adelbert adores me. Us girls must stick together. But it does bother me. Suppose it had been some other guest of the hotel. People misunderstand and criticize so. Tell you what let's do. Hereafter, in each town, let's hire a big house, furnished,

Starting point is 09:34:20 for the whole crew. Still be independent, but nobody around to talk about us. And probably we can get a dandy house quite cheap from some church member. That would be lovely. When we get sick of working so hard all the time, we could have a party just for ourselves and have a dance. I love to dance. Oh, of course, I roast dancing in my sermons, but I mean, when it's with people like us, that understand. It's not like with worldly people, where it would lead to evil. A party. Though Art Nichols would get drunk. Oh, let him. He works so hard. Now, you skip. Wait, aren't you going to kiss me good morning? They made sure of Adelbert's loyalty by flattering him, and the press agent had orders to find a spacious furnished house in the city to which they were going to

Starting point is 09:35:20 Next. Part 4. The renting of furnished houses for the Faulkner Evangelistic Party was a ripe cause for new quarrels with local committees, particularly after the party had left town. There were protests by the infuriated owners that the sacred workers must have been, as one deacon undertaker put it, simply raising the very deevil. He asserted that the furniture had been. been burned with cigarette stubbed, that whiskey had been spilled on the brugs, that chairs had been

Starting point is 09:35:57 broken, he claimed damages from the local committee. The local committee sent the claims on to Sharon. There was a deal of fervent correspondence, and the claims were never paid. Though usually it did not come out till the series of meetings was finished, so that there was no interference with saving the world, these arguments about the private affairs, of the evangelistic crew started most regrettable rumors. The ungodly committed loud scoffings, sweet repressed old maids, and wondered what might really have happened,

Starting point is 09:36:35 and speculated together in delightful horror as to whether there should have been anything worse than drinking going on. But always a majority of the faithful argued logically that sister Falconer and brother Gantry were righteous, therefore they could do nothing unrighteous, therefore the rumors were inspired by the devil, and spread by saloon-keepers and infidels, and in face of this persecution of the godly, the adherents were the more lyric in support of the Falconer party. The elder learned from the discussions of damages a pleasant way of reducing expenses.

Starting point is 09:37:16 At the end of their stay, they simply did not pay the rent for their house. They informed the local committee, after they had gone, that the committee had promised to provide living quarters, and that was all there was to it. There was a lot of correspondence. Part 5. One of Sharon's chief troubles was getting her crew to bed. Like most actors, they were high-strung after their show,

Starting point is 09:37:46 Some of them were too nervous to sleep Until they had read the Saturday evening post Others never could eat till after the meeting And till one o'clock they fried eggs and scrambled eggs and burnt toast And quarreled over the dishwashing Despite their enlightened public stand against the demon room Some of the performers had to brace up the nerves With an occasional wharf of whiskey

Starting point is 09:38:15 and there was dancing and asserted glee, though sometimes she exploded all over them, usually Sharon was amiably blind, and she had too many conferences with Elmer to give much heed to the parties. Lily Anderson, the pale pianist, protested. They might all, she said, go to bed early, so they could be up early. They ought, she said, to go oftener to the cottage prayer means. the others insisted that this was too much to expect of people exhausted by their daily three hours of work but she reminded them that they were doing the work of the lord and they ought to be willing to wear themselves out in such service they were they said but not to-night after days when art nichols the cornetist and adolph clebs the violinist had such heads at ten o'clock in the long morning that they had to take pick-me-ups, would come days when all of them, even Art and Adolf,

Starting point is 09:39:21 were hysterically religious. When quite privately they prayed and repented and raised their voices in ulyulating quivers of divine rapture, till Sharon said fiercely that she didn't know whether she preferred to be waked up by hell-raising or hallelujah's. Yet once she bought a traveling phonograph for them, and many records, half-hectic dances and half-hymns. Part 6 Though her presence nearly took away his need of other stimulants, of tobacco and alcohol, and most of his cursing, it was a year before Elmer was altogether secure from the thought of them.

Starting point is 09:40:06 But gradually saw himself certain of future power and applause as a clergyman, his ambition became more important than the tithelation of alcohol, and he felt very virtuous and pleased. Those were big days, rejoicing days, sunny days. He had everything. His girl, his work, his fame, his power over people. When they held meetings in Topeka, his mother came from Paris to hear them,

Starting point is 09:40:36 and she watched her son addressing 2,000 people. All the heavy graveyard doubt, which had rotted her after his exit from Misspah Seminary vanished. He felt now that he belonged. The gospel crew accepted him as their assistant foreman, as bolder and stronger and trickier than any, save Sharon, and they followed him like family dogs. He imagined a day when he would marry Sharon,

Starting point is 09:41:06 supersede her as a leader, letting her preach now and then as a feature, and become one of the great evangelists of the land. He belonged. When he encountered fellow evangelists, no matter how celebrated, he was pleased, but not awed. Didn't Sharon and he meet no less an evangelist than Dr. Howard Bangkok Bench? The great Baptist defender of the literal interpretation of the Bible?

Starting point is 09:41:36 President of the True Gospel Training School for Religious Workers? editor of the keeper of the vineyard, and author of Fool Errors of So-called Science? Didn't Dr. Bench treat Elmer like a son? Dr. Bench happened to be in Juliette, on his way to receive his sixth DD degree from Abner College, during Sharon's meetings there. He lunched with Sharon and Elmer.

Starting point is 09:42:05 Which hymns do you find the most effective when you make your appeal for converts, Dr. Bench? asked Elmer. Well, to tell you, Brother Gantry, said the authority, I think just as I am, and, Jesus, I am coming home, yet real folksy hearts like nothing else. Oh, I'm afraid I don't agree with you, protested Sharon. It seems to me. Of course you have four more experience and talent than I, Dr. Bench.

Starting point is 09:42:39 Not at all, my dear sister. said Dr. Bench with a leer, which sickened Elmer with jealousy. You are young, but all of us recognize your genius. Well, thank you very much, but, I mean, they're not lively enough. I feel we ought to use hymns with a swing to them, hymns that make you dance right up to the mourners bench. Dr. Bench stopped gulping his fried pork chops, and held up a flabby, white, holy hand.

Starting point is 09:43:11 oh sister falconer i hate to have you use the word dance regarding an evangelistic meeting what is the dance it is the gateway to hail how many innocent girls have found in the dance hall the allurement which leads to every nameless price two minutes of information about dancing given in the same words that sharon herself often used and dr bench wound up with a hearty so i rake over you not to speak of dancing to the mourners, Bench? I know, Dr. Bench, I know, but I mean, in the sacred senses of David dancing before the Lord. But I feel there was a different meeting to that. If you only knew the original Hebrew, the word should not be translated, danced, but was moved by the spirit. Really? I didn't know that.

Starting point is 09:44:11 I'll use that. They all looked learned. What methods, Dr. Bench? asked Elmer, do you find the most successful in forcing people to come to the altar when they resist the Holy Ghost? I always began by asking those interested in being prayed for to hold up their hands. Oh, I believe in having them stand up if they want prayer.

Starting point is 09:44:39 once you get a fellow to his feet, it's so much easier to coax him out into the aisle and down to the front. If he just holds his hand up, he may pull it down before you can spot him. We've trained our ushers to jump right in the minute anybody gets up and say, Now, brother, won't you come down in front and shake hands with Sister Falconer and make your stand for Jesus? No, said Dr. Bench. My experience is that there are many timid people who have to be laid gradually. To ask them to stand up is too big a step. But actually, we're probably both right.

Starting point is 09:45:21 My motto as a soul saver, if I may venture to apply such a lofty title to myself, is that one should use every method that in the vernacular will sell the goods. I guess that's right, said Elmer. "'Say, tell me, Dr. Bench, what do you do with converts after they come to the altar?' "'I always try to have a separate room for them. That gives you a real chance to deepen and enriching their new experience. They can't escape if you close the door, and there's no crowd to stare and embarrass them.' "'I can't see that,' said Sharon. I believe that if the people who come forward are making a stand for Christ,

Starting point is 09:46:10 they ought to be willing to face the crowd, and to make such an impression on the whole bunch of the unsaved, to see a lot of seekers at the mourners bench. You must admit, Brother Bench, Dr. Bench, I should say, that lots of people who just come up to revival for a good time are moved to conviction epidemically by seeing others shaken. "'No, I can't agree that that's so important as making a deeper impression on each convert, so that each goes out as an agent for you, as it were.

Starting point is 09:46:49 But everyone, to his own methods, I mean so long as the Lord is with us and behind us.' "'Say, Dr. Reinch,' said Elmer, "'how do you count your converts? Some of the preachers in this last town accused us of lying about the number. On what basis do you count them? Why, I count everyone, and may use a recording machine, that comes down to the front and shakes hands with me. What if some of them are merely old church members warned over?

Starting point is 09:47:24 Isn't it worth just as much to give new spiritual life to those who had it and lost it? Of course it is. That's what we think. And then we got criticized there in that fool town. We tried, that is, Sister Falconer here tried, a stunt which was new for me. We opened up some of the worst dives and blind tigers by name. We gave street numbers.

Starting point is 09:47:52 The attack created a howling sensation. People just jammed in, hoping we'd attack other places. I believe that's a good policy. We're going to try it here next week. It puts the fear of God into the wicked and slams over the revival. There's a danger in that sort of thing, though, said Dr. Bench. I don't advise it. Trouble is, in such an attack, you're liable to offend some of the leading church members,

Starting point is 09:48:24 the very folks that contribute the most cash to a revival. They're often the owners of buildings They get used by unscrupulous prisons for immortal purposes And while they of course regret such unfortunate use of their property If you attack such places by name, you're likely to lose their support Why, you might lose thousands of dollars It seems to me wiser and more Christian Just to attack vice in general

Starting point is 09:48:56 How much orchestra do you use Dr. Bench? asked Sharon. All I can get hold of. I'm carrying a pianist, a violinist, a drummer, and a cornetist, besides my soloist. But don't you find some people objecting to fiddling? Oh, yes, but I joll him out of it by saying, I don't believe in letting the devil monopolize all these art things,

Starting point is 09:49:25 said Dr. Bench. Besides, I find that a good tune, sort of a nice artistic slow, sad one, puts folks into a mood where they'll come across both with their hearts and their contributions. By the way, speaking of that, what luck have you folks had recently in raising money, and what method do you use? It's been pretty good with us, and I need a lot because I'm supporting an orphanage, said Sharon.

Starting point is 09:49:57 We're sticking to the idea of the, free will offering the last day. We can get more money than any town would be willing to guarantee beforehand. If the appeal for the free will offering is made strong enough, we usually have pretty fair results.

Starting point is 09:50:17 Well, yes, I use the same method, but I don't like the term free will offering, or thank offering. It's been used so much by merely second-rate evangelists woo, and I grieve to say there are such people, put their own gain before the service of the kingdom, and it's got a commercial sound. In making my own appeal for contributions, I use love offering. That's worth thinking over, Dr. Bench, sighed Sharon, but oh, how tragic it is,

Starting point is 09:50:53 that we, with our message of salvation, if the sad old world would but listen, We could solve all its sorrows and difficulties. Yet with this message ready, we have to be practical and raise money for our expenses and charities. Oh, the world doesn't appreciate evangelists. Think of what we could do for a resident minister. These preachers who talk about conducting their own revivals make me sick. They don't know the right technique. Conducting revivals is a profession.

Starting point is 09:51:29 must know all the tricks. With all modesty I figure that I know just what will bring in the converts. I'm sure you do, Sister Faulkner, from Bench, say, do you and Brother Gantry like union revivals? You bet your life we do, said Brother Gantry. We don't conduct a revival unless we can have the united support of all the evangelical preachers in town. I think you are mistaken, Brother Dantry, said Dr. Bench, I find that I have the most successful meetings with only a few churches, but all of them genuinely okay. With all the preachers joined together, you have to deal with a lot of these two-by-four hit preachers, with churches

Starting point is 09:52:19 about the size of woodsheds, and getting maybe 1,100 a year. And yet, they think they have the right to make suggestions. No, sir. I want to do business with the big town preachers that are used to doing things in a high-grade way and that don't kick if you take a decent size offering out of town. Yeah, there's something to be said for that, said Eleanor. That's what the happy-seeing evangelist, you know, Bill Buttle,

Starting point is 09:52:51 said to us one time. But I hope you don't like Brother Buttle, protested Dr. Bench. "'Oh, no. Anyway, Elle didn't like him,' said Sharon, which was a wifely slap at Elmer. Dr. Bench snorted. He's a scoundrel.

Starting point is 09:53:12 There's rumors about his wife's leaving him. Why is it that in such a high calling is ours there are so many rascals? Take Dr. Mortonby, calling himself a cover-to-cover literalist, and then his relations to young women, women who sing for him, I would shock you, Sister Falkner, if I told you what I suspect. Oh, I don't know. I haven't met him, but I hear dreadful things, Willed Sharon.

Starting point is 09:53:41 And Wesley Ziegler, they say he drinks, and an evangelist. Why, if any person connected with me were so much as to take one drink, out he goes. That's right, that's right. Isn't it dreadful? Morned Dr. Bench, and take this charlatan Edgar, Edgars, this obscene ex-gamberer with his disgusting slang, the hypocrite. Joyously, they pointed out that, this arrival artist in evangelism, was an ignoramus,

Starting point is 09:54:21 that a passer of bogus checks, the other doubtful about the doctrine of the pre-millennial coming. Joyously, they concluded that the only intelligent and moral evangelist in America were Dr. Bench, sister Falconer, and brother Gantry, and the lunch broke up in an orgy of Thanksgiving. There's the worst swell-headed and four-flusher in America, that bench, and he's shaky on Jonah, and I've heard he choose to baffle, and then pretending to be so swell and citified. Be careful of this.

Starting point is 09:55:00 him, said Sharon to Elmer afterward, and, oh, my dear, my dear. End of Section 18. Section 19 of Elmer Gantry. This is a Libravox recording. All Libervox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Libravox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 19, Chapter 15 Part 1 It was not her eloquence, but her healing of the sick, which raised Sharon to such imminence that she promised to become the most renowned evangelist in America.

Starting point is 09:55:45 People were tired of eloquence, and the whole evangelist business was limited, since even the most ardent were not likely to be saved more than three or four times, but they could be healed constantly, and of the same disease. Healing was later to become the chief feature of many evangelists, but in 1910 it was advertised chiefly by Christian scientists and the new thoughters. Sharon came to it by accident. She had regularly offered prayers for the sick, but only absent-mindedly.

Starting point is 09:56:22 When Elmer and she had been together for a year, during her meetings in Schenectady, a man led up his deaf wife and begged, Sharon to heal her. It amused Sharon to send out for some oil. It happened to be shotgun oil, but she properly consecrated it, to annoy the women's ears and to pray lustily for healing. The woman screamed, glory to God, I've got my hearing back. There was a sensation in the tabernacle, and everybody itched with desire to be relieved of whatever. ailed him. Elmer led the healed deaf woman aside and asked her name for the newspapers. It is true that she could not hear him, but he wrote out his questions, she wrote the answers, and he got an excellent story for the papers and an idea for their holy work. Why, he put it to

Starting point is 09:57:23 Sharon, shouldn't she make healing a regular feature? Oh, I don't know that I have any gift for it, consider Sharon. Sure you have. Aren't you psychic? Well, you bet. Go to it. We might pull off some healing services. I bet the collections would bust all records, and we'll have a distinct understanding with a local committee that we get all over a certain amount, besides the collection the last day. Well, we might try one. Of course the Lord may have blessed me with special gifts, that way, and to him be all the credit. Oh, let's stop in here and have an ice cream soda. I love banana splits. I hope nobody sees me. I feel like dancing tonight. Anyway, we'll talk over the possibility of healing. I'm going to take a hot bath the minute we get home with Losh bath salt.

Starting point is 09:58:23 Losh and Losh and Losh. The success was immense. She is a lot. She is a lot of. She is a loth salt. She is, alienated many evangelical pastors by divine healing, but she won all the readers of books about willpower, and her daily miracles were reported in the newspapers. And, or so it was reported, some of her patients remained cured. She murmured to Elmer, You know, maybe there really is something to this healing, and I get an enormous thrill out of it,

Starting point is 09:58:57 telling the lame to chuck the crutches, and that man last night, that cripple, he did feel a lot better. They decorated the altar now with crutches and walking sticks, all given by grateful patients, except such as Elmer had been compelled to buy, to make the exhibit inspiring from the start. Money gambled in. One grateful patient gave Sharon $5,000,

Starting point is 09:59:24 and Elmer and Sharon had their only quarrel, except for the occasional spats of temperament, With the increase in profits, he demanded a raise of salary, and she insisted that her charities took all she had. Yeah, I've heard a lot about him, said he, the old ladies' home and the orphanage and the who scalp for retired preachers. I suppose you carry him along with you on the road. Do you mean to insinuate my good friend that I...

Starting point is 09:59:54 They talk in a thoroughly spirited and domestic manner, and afterward she raised his salaries to 5,000 and kissed him. With the money so easily come by, Sharon burst out in hectic plans. She was going to buy a 10,000-acre farm for a Christian socialist colony and a university, and she went so far as to get a three-month option on 200 acres. She was going to have a great national daily paper

Starting point is 10:00:25 with crime news scandal and athletic omitted and a daily Bible session on the front page. She was going to organize a new crusade, an army of 10 million which would march through heathen countries and convert the entire world to Christianity in this generation. Oh, she did at last actually carry out one plan and create a headquarters for her summer meetings. At Klomtar, a resort on the New Jersey coast, she bought the pier on which Benno Hockenschmidt used to give grand opera. Though the investment was so large that even for the initial payment, it took almost every penny she had saved,

Starting point is 10:01:09 she calculated that she would make money because she would be absolute owner and not have to share contributions with local churches. And remaining in one spot, she would build up more prestige than by moving from place to place and having to advertise her virtues anew in every town. In a gay frenzy, she planned that if she was successful, she would keep the Clontar Pier for summer and build an old winter tabernacle in New York or Chicago.

Starting point is 10:01:42 She saw herself another Mary Baker Eddy, an Angie Besant, and a Catherine Tingley. Elmer Gantry was shocked when she hinted that, who knows, the next Messiah might be a boy. woman. And that woman might now be on earth, just realizing her divinity. The pier was an immense structure, built of cheap, knotty pine, painted in a hectic red with gold stripes. It was pleasant, however, on hot evenings. Round it ran a promenade out over the water, where once lovers had strolled between acts of the opera, and giving on the promenade were many

Starting point is 10:02:25 barn-like doors. Sharon christened it the waters of Jordan Tabernacle. Added more and redder paint, more golden gold, and erected an enormous revolving cross, lighted at night with

Starting point is 10:02:41 yellow and ruby electric bulbs. The whole gospel crew went to Cluntar in early June to make ready for the great opening on the evening of the 1st of July. They had to enlist volunteer ushers and personal workers, and Sharon and Albert Schoop had notions about a large

Starting point is 10:03:01 robed choir with three or four paid soloists. Elmer had less zeal than usual in helping her, because an unfortunate thing had gone and happened to Elmer. He saw that he really ought to be more friendly with Lily Anderson, the pianist. While he remained true to Sharon, he had cumulatively been feeling that it was sheer carelessness to let the pretty and aneming and virginal Lily be wasted. He had been driven to notice her through indignation at Art Nichols, the cornetist, for having the same idea. Elmer was fascinated by her unwakedness. While he was continuing to be devoted to Sharon, over her shoulder he was always looking at lily's pale sweetness, and his lips were moist.

Starting point is 10:03:57 Part 2. They set on the beach by moonlight, Sharon and Elmer, the night before the opening service. All of Clon Tar, with its miles of comfortable summer villas and gingerbed hotels, was excited over the tabernacle,

Starting point is 10:04:14 and the Chamber of Commerce had announced, we commend to the whole Jersey coast, this high-class spiritual feature, the latest edition of Dibornaecal, to the manifold attractions and points of interest at the snappiest of all summer colonies. A choir of 200 had been coaxed in, and some of them had been persuaded to buy their own robes and mortar boards. Near the sand-dune against with Sharon and Elmer, Lohle was the tabernacle, over which the electric cross turned solemnly, throwing its glare now on the rushing surf, now across the bleak sand.

Starting point is 10:04:53 "'And it's mine,' Sharon trembled. "'I've made it. "'Four thousand seats, "'and I guess it's the only Christian tabernacle "'built out over the water. "'Elmer, it almost scares me. "'So much responsibility, "'thousands of poor troubled souls

Starting point is 10:05:13 "'turning to me for help, "'and if I fail them, "'if I'm weak or tired or greedy, "'I'll be murdering their very souls. "'I almost wish I were back safe in Virginia. Her enchanted voice wove itself with the menace of the breakers,

Starting point is 10:05:31 feeble against the crash of broken waters, passionate in the low, while the great cross turned its unceasing light. And I'm ambitious, Elmer, I know it. I want the world, but I realize what an awful danger that is. But I never had anybody to train me. I'm just nobody.

Starting point is 10:05:55 I haven't any family, any education. I've had to do everything for myself, except what Cecil and you and another man or two have done, and maybe you. All came too late. When I was a kid, there was no one to tell me what a sense of honor was. But, oh, I've done things.

Starting point is 10:06:16 Little Katie Jonas of Railroad Avenue, little Katie with her red flannel skirt and torn stockings. fighting the whole Killarney Street gang and giving Pup Monaghan one on the nose by Jiminy and not five cents a year, even for candy. And now it's mine. That tabernacle there.

Starting point is 10:06:38 Look at it. That cross, that choir you can hear, practicing. While I am the Sharon Faulkner you read about, and tomorrow I become people reaching out to me, me healing them. No, it frightens me. It can't last. Make it last for me, Elmer.

Starting point is 10:06:59 Don't let them take it away from me. She was sobbing, her head on his lap, while he comforted her clumsily. He was slightly bored. She was heavy, and though he did like her, he wished she wouldn't go on telling that Katie Jonas Utica story. She rose to her knees, her arms out to him, her voice hysteric against the background of the serf.

Starting point is 10:07:28 I can't do it. But you, I'm a woman. I'm weak. I wonder if I oughtn't to stop thinking I'm such a marvel. If I oughtn't let you run things and just stand back and help you, ought I? He was overwhelmed by her good sense, but he cleared his throat and spoke judiciously. Well, now, I'll tell you, personally, I'd never have brought it up,

Starting point is 10:07:56 but since you speak of it yourself, I don't admit for a minute that I've got any more executive ability oratory than you have. Probably not half as much, and after all, you did start the show. I came in late, but same time, while a woman can put things over just as good, as a man, or better for a while, she's a woman, and she isn't built to carry on things like a man would. See how I mean? Would it be better for the kingdom if I forgot my ambition and followed you? Well, I didn't say it'd be better.

Starting point is 10:08:35 You've certainly done fine, honey. I haven't got any criticisms, but at the same time I do think we ought to think it over. She had remained still, a kneeling silver-stead. statue. Now she dropped her hands against his knees, crying, I can't give it up, I can't, must I? He was conscious that people were strolling near. He growled, save for heaven's sake, shah, don't holler and carry on like that. People might hear.

Starting point is 10:09:09 She sprang up, oh, you fool, you fool! And she ran from him along the sands through the rays of the revolving cross, into the shadow. He angrily rubbed his back against the sand-dune and grumbled, Damn, these women, all alike, even Sherry, always getting temperamental on you about nothing at all. Still, I did kind of go off half-cocked, considering she was just beginning to get the idea of letting me boss the show.

Starting point is 10:09:42 Oh, hell, I'll jolly her out of it. He took off his shoes, shook the, to stand out of them and rubbed his soul of one stocking foot slowly, agreeably, for he was conceiving a thought. If Sharon was going to pull stuff like this on him, he ought to teach her a lesson. Choir practice was over. Why not go back through the house and see what Lillie Anderson was doing?

Starting point is 10:10:11 There was a nice kid, and she admired him. She'd never dare bawl him out. Part 3 He tipped, Toad, to Lily's virgin door, and tapped lightly. Vesp, he dared not speak. Sharon's door, in the bulky old house they had taken in Clon Tar, was almost opposite. He tapped again, and when Lily came to the door in a kimono, he whispered, Shh, everybody asleep.

Starting point is 10:10:43 May I come in just a second? Something important to ask you. Lily was wondering, but obviously she felt a pallid excitement as he followed her into the room with its violet embroidery doilies. Lily, I've been worrying. Do you think Adelbert ought to have the choir start with a mighty fortress is there a god tomorrow, or something a little snappier? Get the crowd and then shoot in something impressive. Well, honestly, Mr. Gantry, I don't believe they could change the program now.

Starting point is 10:11:18 Oh, well, it doesn't matter. Sit down and tell me how the choir practice went tonight. I bet it went swell with you pounding the box. Oh, now, as she personally on the edge of the bed, you're just teasing me, Mr. Gantry. He sat beside her, chuckling bravely. I can't even get you to call me Elmer. Oh, I wouldn't dare, Mr. Gantry.

Starting point is 10:11:45 Miss Faulkiner would call me down. Well, you just let me know if anybody ever dares to try to call you down, Lily. Why, I don't know whether Sharon appreciates it or not, but the way you spiel the music gives as much power to our meetings as her sermons or anything else. Oh, no, you're just flattering me, Mr. Cantry. Oh, say, I have a trade last for you. Well, I, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, let's see. Oh, I remember. Oh, I remember, that Episcopalian preacher, the big, handsome one,

Starting point is 10:12:23 he said you ought to be on the stage. You had so much talent. Oh, go on. You're kidding me, Mr. Gantry? No, honest he did. Now, what's mine? Though I'd rather have you say something nice about me. Oh, now you're fishing.

Starting point is 10:12:41 Well, sure I am, with such a lovely fish as you. Oh, it's terrible the way you talk. laughter silvery peels several peals but i mean this great opera soloist that's down for our opening says you look so strong that she's scared of you oh she is is she are you huh are you tell me somehow her hand was inside his and he squeezed it while she looked away and blushed and at last breathed yes Kind of. He almost embraced her, but, oh, it was a mistake to rush things, and he went on in his professional tone. But to go back to Sharon and our labors, it's all right to be modest, but you ought to realize how enormously you're playing as to the spirituality of the meetings. I'm so glad you think so, but honest, to compare me to Miss Falconer for bringing souls to

Starting point is 10:13:48 Christ. Well, she's just the most wonderful person in the world. Well, that's right. You bet she is. Only I wish she felt like you do. I don't really think she cares so much for my plane. Well, she ought to. I'm not criticizing, you understand. She certainly is one of the greatest evangelists living. But just between you and I, she has one fault. She doesn't appreciate any of us. She thinks it's her that does the whole darn thing. As I say, I admire her, but by golly, it does make me sore sometimes to never have her appreciate your music. I mean the way it ought to be appreciated. See how I mean?

Starting point is 10:14:36 Oh, that is so nice of you, but I don't deserve, but I've always appreciated it. Don't you think, Lily? Oh, yes. indeed you have, and it's been such an encouragement. Oh, well, say I'm just tickled to death to have you and say that, Lily, a firmer pressure on her frail hand. Do you like to have me like your music? Oh, yes, but do you like to have me like you?

Starting point is 10:15:07 Oh, yes, of course. We're all working together, oh, like sister and brother. Lily, don't you think we're, we might ever be uh don't you think we could be just a little closer than sister and brother oh you're just being mean how could you ever like poor little me when you belong to sharon what do you mean me belong to sharon say i admire her tremendously but i'm absolutely free you can bet your life on that and just because i've always been kind of shy of you you have you have been such a kind of flower-like beauty, you might say, that no man, no, not the coarsest, would ever dare to ruffle it, and because I've stood back, sort of feeling like I was protecting you, maybe you think I haven't appreciated all your qualities? She swallowed.

Starting point is 10:16:07 Oh, Lily, all I ask you's for the chance now and then, whenever you're down in the mouth and all of us just feel like that, unless we think we're the whole cheese and absolutely own the gospel game, whenever you feel that way, let me have the privilege of telling you how greatly one fellow appreciates the loveliness that you scatter along the road.

Starting point is 10:16:33 Do you really feel that way? Well, maybe I can play the piano, but personally I'm nothing, nothing. It isn't true, it isn't true, dearest. Lily, it's so like your modesty not to appreciate what sunshine you bring into the hearts of all of us here, and how we cherish, the door shot open. In the doorway stood Sharon Falconer and a black and gold dressing gown. Both of you, said Sharon, are discharged, fired.

Starting point is 10:17:09 Now, don't ever let me see your faces again. You can stay tonight, but see to it that you're out of the house before breakfast. Oh, Miss Falconer, Lily wailed, thrusting away Elmer's hand. But Sharon was gone with the bang of the door. They rushed into the hall. They heard the key in her lock, and she ignored their wrappings. Lily clareed at Elmer. He heard her key also, and he stood alone in the hall.

Starting point is 10:17:43 Part 4 Not until one in the morning, sitting in flabby dejection, did he have his story shaped and watertight. It was a heroic spectacle that of the Reverend Elmer Gantry, climbing from the second-story balcony through the Sharon's window, tiptoeing across the room, plumping on his knees by her bed, and giving her a large, plashy kiss. I am not asleep, she observed, intones level as a steel rail, while she drew the comforter about her neck. In fact, I'm awake for the first time in two years, my young friend.

Starting point is 10:18:27 You can get out of here. I won't tell you all I've been thinking, but among others, you're an ungrateful dog that bit the hand that took you out of the slimy gutter. You're a liar, an ignoramus, a four-flusher, and a rotten preacher. By God, I'll—' But then she giggled, and his plan of action came back to him. He sat firmly on the edge of the bed, and calmly he remarked, Sharon, you're a good deal of a damn fool. You think I'm going to deny flirting with Lily? I won't take the trouble to deny it.

Starting point is 10:19:06 If you don't appreciate yourself, if you don't see that a man that's ever associated with you simply couldn't be interested in any other woman, then there's nothing I can say. My God, Sharah, you know what you are. I could no more be untrue to you than I could to my religion. As a matter of fact, want to know what I was saying to Lily, to Miss Anderson? I do not. "'Well, you're going to be. "'As I came up the hall,

Starting point is 10:19:40 "'her door was open and she asked me to come in. "'She had something to ask me. "'Well, it seems the poor young woman was wondering "'if her music was really up to your greatness. "'That's what she called it, "'especially now that the Jordan tabernacle "'will give you so much more power. "'She spoke of you as the greatest spiritual force in the world,

Starting point is 10:20:04 "'and she was wondering whether she was worth the, hmm, she did, eh? Well, she isn't, and she can stay fired. And you, my fine young liar, if you ever so much as, look at another wench again, I'll fire you for keeps. Oh, Elmer, how could you, beloved, when I've given you everything? Oh, lie, lie, go on line, tell me a good strong lie that I'll believe, and then kiss me. Part 5. Banners, banners, banners lifting along the rafters, banners on the walls of the tabernacle, banners moving to the air that sifted in from the restless, night of the opening of Waters of Jordan Tabernacle, night of the beginning of Sharon's crusade to conquer the world. The town of Clontar, and all the

Starting point is 10:21:07 the resorts nearby, felt there was something they did not quite understand, something marvelous, and by all means, to be witnessed. And from up and down the Jersey coast, by motor, by trolley, the religious had come. By the time the meeting began, all of the four thousand seats were filled, 500 people were standing, and outside waited a throng, hoping for miraculous entrance. The interior of the pier was barn-like, were shamelessly patched against the ravages of winter storms, but they were hectic with the flags of many nations, with immense posters, blood red on white, proclaiming that in the mysterious blood of the Messiah was redemption from all sorrow, that in his love was refuge in safety.

Starting point is 10:22:01 Sharon's pretentious, white, and gold pyramidal altar had been discarded. was using the stage draped with black velvet against which hung a large crystal cross, and the seats for the choir of 200 behind a golden pulpit were draped with white. A white wooden cross stood by the pulpit. It was a hot night, but through the doors along the pier, the cool breeze filtered in, and the sounds of waters, the sounds of wings, as the gulls were startled from the roosts, Everyone felt an exultation in the place, a coming of marvels. Before the meeting the gospel crew, backstage,

Starting point is 10:22:47 were excited as a theatrical company on a first night. They rushed with great rapidity, nowhere in particular, and tripped over each other and muttered, say, gee, gee! To the last Edelbert Shoup was giving needless instructions to the new pianist, who had been summoned by telegraph from, Philadelphia, Lily Anderson. She professed immense piety, but Elwyn noted

Starting point is 10:23:13 that she was a pretty fluffy thing with a warm eye. The choir was arriving, along with the first of the audience. They filtered down the aisle, chattering, feeling important. Naturally, as the end of the pier gave on open water, there was no stage

Starting point is 10:23:31 entrance at the back. There was only one door, through which members of opera castles had been wont to go out to the small rear platform for fresh air between acts. The platform was not connected with the promenade. It was to this door that Sharon led Elmer. Their dressing rooms were next to each other. She knocked.

Starting point is 10:23:57 He had been sitting with a Bible and an evening paper in his lap, reading one of them. He opened to find her flaming with exultation. A joyous girl in a dressing-gown over her chemise, seemingly she had forgotten her anger of the night. She cried, Come, see the stars! Defined the astonishment of the choir, who were filing into the chorus dressing-room to assume their white robes, she led him to the door out on the railed platform. The black waves glittered with lights, there was spaciousness, and a windy peace upon the waters. Look, it's so big, not like the cities where we've been shut up, she exalted, stars and the waves that come clear from Europe, Europe. Castles on Green Shore, I've never been, and I'm going, and there'll be great crowds at the ship to meet me asking for my power.

Starting point is 10:25:00 Look, his shooting star had left a scrawl of flame in the sky. Elmer, it's an omen for the glory that begins tonight. Oh, dearest, my dearest, don't ever hurt me again. His kiss promised it. His heart almost promised it. She was all human while they stood fronting the sea. But in half an hour after, when she came out in the robe of white satin and silver lace with a crimson cross on her breast,

Starting point is 10:25:35 She was prophetess only, and her white forehead was high, her eyes were strange with dreaming. Already the choir were chanting. They were starting with the doxology. And it gave Elmer a feeling of doubt. Surely doxology was the end of things, not the beginning. But he looked impassive. The brooding priest in frock-coat and white bow-tie. Portly and Funereal, as he moved magnificently through the choir, and held up his arms to commend silence for his prayer. He told them of Sister Falconer and her message, of their plans and desires at Clondar,

Starting point is 10:26:22 and asked for a minute of silent prayer for the power of the Holy Ghost to descend upon the tabernacle. He stood back, his chair was upstage beside the choir, as she was. Sharon floated forward, not human, a goddess, tears thick and lovely eyes as she perceived the throng that had come to hear her. My dear ones, it is not I who bring you anything, but you who in your faith bring me strength, she said shakily. Then her voice was strong again. She rose on the wave of drama.

Starting point is 10:27:03 Just now, looking across the sea to the end of the world, I saw an omen for all of us, a fiery line written by the hand of God, a glorious shooting star. Thus he apprised us of his coming and bade us be ready. Oh, are you ready? Are you ready? Will you be so ready when the great day comes? the congregation was stirred by her lyric earnestness. But outside, there were less devout souls. Two workmen had finished polishing the varnished wooden pillars as the audience began to come.

Starting point is 10:27:47 They slipped outside on the promenade along the pier and sat on the rail enjoying the coolness, slightly diverted, by hearing the sermon. Not a bad speeler of that woman, puts it all. "'all over this guy, Reverend Golding uptown,' said one of the workmen, "'lighting a cigarette, keeping it concealed in his palm as he smoked. "'The other tiptoed along the promenade to peer through the door, and returned mumbling. "'Yeah, and a swell looker.

Starting point is 10:28:18 "'Same time, though. "'Tell you how I feel about it. "'A woman's all right in their place, but it takes a real he-mail, "'to figure out this religious business.' She's pretty good at that. Yon the first workman, snapping away his cigarette. Say, let's beat it. How about a little glass of beer?

Starting point is 10:28:42 We can go along this platform and get out at the front, I guess. All right, you're right? The workman moved away. Dark figures between the sea and the doors that gave on the bright auditorium. The discarded cigarette nestled against the oily rags, which the worker and head dropped on the promenade, beside the flimsy walls of the tabernacle. A rag glowed round the edges, worm-like, then lit in circling flame. Sharon was chanting,

Starting point is 10:29:18 What could be more beautiful than a tabernacle like this set on the bosom of the rolling deep? Oh, think what the mighty tides have meant in holy writ. The face of the fernacle. of the waters on which moved the Spirit of Almighty God when the earth was but a whirling and chaotic darkness. Jesus baptized in the sweet waters of Jordan, Jesus walking on the waves, so could we today if we had but his faith. Oh, dear God, strengthen thou our unbelief,

Starting point is 10:29:54 give us faith like unto thine own. Now Elmer's sitting back listening, was moved as in his first adoration for her. He had become so tired of her poetizing that he almost admitted to himself that he was tired. But tonight he felt her strangeness again, and in it he was humble. He saw her straight back, shimmering in white satin.

Starting point is 10:30:22 He saw her superb arms as she stretched them out to these thousands, and in hot secret pride he gloated, that in this beauty, be held and worshipped of so many, belonged to him alone. Then he noticed something else. A third of the way back coming through one of the doors opening on the promenade was a curl of smoke. He startled, he almost rose.

Starting point is 10:30:52 He feared to rouse a panic and set with his brain a welter of terrified jelly till he heard the screams, Far, far! And he saw the whole audience and the choir leaping up, screaming, screaming, while the flimsy door jam

Starting point is 10:31:09 was alight and the flame rose fan like toward the rafters. Only Sharon was in his mind, Sharon standing like an ivory column against the terror. He rushed toward her. He could hear her wailing, "'Don't be afraid. Go out slowly.' She turned toward the choir as with wild white rose

Starting point is 10:31:34 They charged from their bank of seats. She clamored, Don't be afraid. We're in the temple of the Lord. He won't harm you. I believe. Have faith. I'll leave you safely through the flames. But they ignored her. Streamed past her, thrusting her aside.

Starting point is 10:31:54 He seized her arm. come here, Sherah, the door at the back we'll jump over and swim ashore. She seemed not to hear him. She thrust his hand away and went on demanding, her voice furious with mad sincerity, Who will trust the Lord of God of host? Now we'll try out our faith, who will follow me?

Starting point is 10:32:17 Since two-thirds of the auditorium was to the shoreward side of the fire, and since the wide doors to the promenade were many, most of the audience were getting safely out, save for a child crushed. A woman fainting and trampled, but toward the stage of the flames, driven by the sea wind, were beating up through the rafters. Most of the choir in the audience down front had escaped, but all who were now at the back were cut off. He grasped Sharon's arm again.

Starting point is 10:32:50 In a voice with abject fear, he shouted, for God's sake, beat it. We can't wait. She had an insane strength. She thrust him away so sharply that he fell against a chair, bruising his knee. Furious with pain, senseless with fear, he raged, you can go to hell, and galloped off, pushing aside the last of the hysterical choir. He looked back and saw her, quite alone, holding up the white wooden cross, which had stood by the pulpit, Marching steadily forward, a tall figure paled against the screen of flames. All of the choir, who had not got away, remembered, or guessed the small door at the back. So did Albert and Art Nichols, and all of them were jamming toward it.

Starting point is 10:33:43 That door opened inward, only it did not open, with a score of victims thrust against it. In howling panic, Elmer spraying a month. them, knocked them aside, struck down a girl who stood in his way, yanked opened the door and got through it. The last, the only one, to get through it. He never remembered leaving, but he found himself in the surf desperately swimming toward the shore, horribly cold, horribly bound by heavy clothes. He humped out of his coat. In the inside pocket was Lily Anderson's address, as she had given to him before going that morning. The sea, by night,

Starting point is 10:34:28 though what was glaring now with the flames from above, seemed infinite in its black sightlessness. The waves thrust him along the piles, their mossy slime was like the feel of serpents to his frantic hands, and the barnacles cut his palms. But he struggled out from beneath the pier, struggled toward the shore, and as he swim and panted more and more

Starting point is 10:34:52 was the sea blood-red about him. In blood he swam, blood that was icy cold and tumultuous and roaring in his ears. His knee struck sand, and he crawled ashore among a shrieking torn, sea-soaked crowd. Many had leapt from the rail of the promenade and were still fighting the surf, wheeling and beaten. Their wet and corpse-like heads were seen clearly in the glen. the pier was only a skeleton, a cage round a boiling of flame, with dots of figures still dropping from the promenade. Elmerin ran out a little into the surf and dragged in a woman who had already safely touched bottom. He had rescued at least thirty people who had already rescued themselves before the

Starting point is 10:35:46 reporters got to him and he had to stop and explain the cause of the fire, the cost of the the amount of insurance, the size of the audience, the number of souls revived by Miss Falconer during all her campaigns, and the fact that he had been saving both Miss Falconer and Adelbert Shoup when they had been crushed by a falling rafter. A hundred and eleven people died that night, including all of the gospel crew, save Elmer. It was Elmer himself who at dawn, found. Sharon's body lying on a floor beam. There were rags of white satin clinging to it, and in her charred hand was still the charred cross.

Starting point is 10:36:36 End of Section 19, Chapter 15. Section 20 of Elmer Gantry. This is a Libravox recording. All Libravox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Libravox.org, read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 20, Chapter 16, Part 1 Though to the commonplace and unspeculative eye, Mrs. Evans-Riddle was but a female blacksmith,

Starting point is 10:37:15 yet Mrs. Riddell and her followers knew, in a bland, smirking way, that she was instituting an era in which sickness, poverty, and folly would be ended forever. She was the proprietor of the Victory Thought Power Headquarters, New York. Not even in Los Angeles, was there a more important center of predigested philosophy

Starting point is 10:37:45 and pansy-painted ethics. She maintained a magazine filled with such starry thoughts as, all the worlds a road whereupon we are but fellow wayfarers. She held morning and Vesper services on Sunday at Eutropian Hall on 87th Street, and between moments of silent thought, she boxed with the inexplicable. She taught, or farmed out, classes in concentration, prosperity, love, metaphysics, oriental mysticism and the fourth dimension. She instructed small select circles,

Starting point is 10:38:28 how to keep one's husband, how to understand Sanskrit philosophy, without understanding either Sanskrit or philosophy, and how to become slim without giving up pastry. She healed all the diseases in the medical dictionary, and some which were not. and in personal consultations, at $10 a half hour, she explained to unapitizing elderly ladies

Starting point is 10:38:57 how they might rouse passion in a football hero. She had a staff, including a real Hindu Swami. Anyway, he was a real Hindu. But she was looking for a first assistant. The Reverend Elmer Gantry had failed, as an independent evangelist. He had been quite as noisy and threatening as the average evangelist. Two reasonably large gatherings,

Starting point is 10:39:29 he had stated that the judgment day was rather more likely to occur before 6 a.m. And he had told all the chronic anecdotes of the dying drunkard. But there was something wrong. He could not make it go. Sharon was with him, beckoning him, intolerably summoning him, intolerably rebuking him. Sometimes he worshipped her as the shadow of a dead god. Always he was humanly lonely for her, and her tantrums and her electric wrath and her abounding laughter. In pulpits he felt like an imposter, and in hotel bedrooms he is.

Starting point is 10:40:16 ached for her voice. Worst of all, he was expected everywhere to tell of her brave death in the cause of the Lord. He was very sick about it. Mrs. Evans Riddle invited him to join her. Elmer had no objection to the malted milk of new thought, but after Sharon,

Starting point is 10:40:41 Mrs. Riddle was too much. She shaved regularly. She smelled of cigar smoke, yet she had a knickering fancy for warm, masculine attentions. Elmer had to earn a living, and he had taken too much of the drug of oratory to be able to go back to the road as a traveling salesman. He shrugged when he had interviewed Mrs. Riddle. He told her that she would be an inspiration to be a young man like himself. He held her hand.

Starting point is 10:41:17 He went out and washed his hand, and determined that since he was to dwell in the large brownstone home, which was both her thought-power headquarters and her home, he would keep his door locked. The preparation for his labors was not too fatiguing. He read through six copies of Mrs. Riddles' magazine, and just as he had learned the trade terms of evangelism, so he learned the technologies of new thought,

Starting point is 10:41:52 the cosmic law of vibration. I affirm the living thought. He labored through a chapter of the essence of Oriental mysticism, occultism, and esotericism, and accompanied seven pages of the Bhagadvaa Gita, and thus was prepared to teach disciples how to wind love and prosperity. In actual practice, he had much less of treading the Himalayan Heights than of pleasing Mrs. Evans-Riddle.

Starting point is 10:42:28 Once she discovered that he had a small fancy for sitting up after midnight with her, she was rather sharp about his bringing in new chelas, As, out of Kim, she called paying customers. Occasionally, he took Sunday morning service for Mrs. Riddle at Eutropian Hall, when she was weary of curing rheumatism, or when she was suffering from rheumatism, and always he had to be at Eutropian to give spiritual assistance. She liked her have her hairy-armed stroke just before she went out to preach, and that was not too hard a task. Usually he could recover while she was out on the platform. She turned over to him the

Starting point is 10:43:16 personal consultations with spinsters, and he found it comic to watch their sharp noses quivering, their dry mouths wobbling. But his greatest interest was given to the prosperity classes. To one who had never made more than five thousand a year himself, he was inspiring to explain before dozens of Popeyeed and admiring morons how they could make 10,000, 50,000, a million a year.

Starting point is 10:43:48 And all this by the wonder power of suggestion, by aggressive personality, by the divine rhythm, in fact, by merely releasing the inner self-shine. It was fun.

Starting point is 10:44:05 It was an orgy of imagination, for him who had never faced any titan of success of larger dimensions than the chairman of a local evangelistic committee to instruct a 30-a-week bookkeeper how to stalk into Morgan's office, fix him with a penetrating eye of the initiate and borrow a hundred thousand on the spot.

Starting point is 10:44:32 But always, he longed for Sharon, with a sensation of impugnowness real as the faintness of hunger and long tramping. He saw his days with her as adventures, footloose, scented with fresh air. He hated himself for having ever glanced over his shoulder, and he determined to be a celibate all his life. In some ways he preferred new thought,

Starting point is 10:45:03 standard Protestantism. He was safer to play with. He had never been sure, but that there might be something to the doctrines he had preached as an evangelist. Perhaps God really had dictated every word of the Bible. Perhaps God had dictated every word of the Bible. Perhaps there really was a hell of burning sulfur. Perhaps the Holy Ghost really was hovering around watching him and reporting. But he knew what serenity.

Starting point is 10:45:38 that all of his new thoughts, his theosophical utterances, were pure and uncontaminated bunk. No one could deny his theories because none of his theories meant anything. It did not matter what he said so long as he kept them listening, and he enjoyed the buoyancy of power as he bespelled his classes with long, involved, fruity sentences, rhapsodic as perfume advertisements. How agreeable on bright winter afternoons, in the guilt and velvet elegance of the lecture hall, to look at smart women and moan,

Starting point is 10:46:23 and, oh, my beloved, can you not see, do you not perceive? Have not your earth-bound eyes ingathered the supremacy of the Rogers' quality, which each of us, by the inner contemplation, which is the all, however cloaked by the seeming, can consume mate and build loftily to higher aspiring spheres. Almost any Hindu word was useful. It seemed that the Hindus have hidden powers

Starting point is 10:46:57 which enable them to do whatever they want to, except possibly to get rid of the Mohammedans, the plague, and the Kobam. Soul breathing was also a good thing to talk about whenever he had nothing to say, and you could always keep an audience of satin-bosomed ladies through the last quarter-hour of lecturing by coming down hard on concentration. But with all these agreeable features, he hated Mrs. Riddle, and he suspected that she was, as he put it, holding out the coin on him.

Starting point is 10:47:35 him. He was to have a percentage of the profits, besides his thin salary of $2,500 a year. There never were any profits, and when he hinted that he would like to see her books, entirely out of admiration for the beauties of accountancy, she put him off. So he took reasonable measures of reprisal. He moved from her house. He began to to take for himself the patience, who came for personal consultations, and to meet them in the parlor of his new boarding house in Harlem. And when she was not present at his utopian hall meetings, he brought back to Victory Thought Power headquarters, only so much of the collection as, after prayer and meditation, and figuring on an envelope seemed suitable.

Starting point is 10:48:33 That did it. Mrs. Evans' riddle had a regrettable suspiciousness. She caused a marked $20 bill to be placed in the collection at Festbors a year before Elmer had gone to work for higher powers, and when he brought her the collection money minus the $20, she observed loudly with her grinning, swami-looking heathenish, and sultry across the room.

Starting point is 10:49:05 Gantry, you're a thief. You're fired. You have a contract, but you can sue and be damned. Jackson, a large Negro houseman appeared. Throw out this crook, will you? Part 3.

Starting point is 10:49:24 He felt dazed and homeless and poor, but he started out with prosperity classes of his own. He did very well at prosperity, except that he couldn't make a living out of it. He spent from month to four months in each city, he hired the ballroom at the second-best hotel for lectures, three evenings a week, and advertised himself in the newspapers as though he were a cigarette or brand soap. The world owes you a million dollars. Why don't you collect it? What brought millions to Rockefeller, Morgan, and Carnegie?

Starting point is 10:50:05 Willpower. It's within you. Learn to develop it. You can. The world mastering secrets of the Rosicrucians and Hindu sages revealed in 12 lessons by the renowned psychologist Elmer Gantry, Ph.D., D.D. P.S.D. Write our phone. concentration. The Bowers Motel, Maine, and Sycamore. His students were school teachers who wanted to own tea rooms,

Starting point is 10:50:40 clerks who wanted to be sales managers, clergymen who wanted to be newspaper men, and newspaper men who wanted to be real estate dealers, real estate dealers who wanted to be bishops, and widows who wanted to earn money without loss of elegance. He lectured to them in the most beautiful, beautiful language all out of Mrs. Riddle's magazine. He had a number of phrases, all stolen, and he made his disciples repeat them in chorus in the manner of all religions. Among the more

Starting point is 10:51:15 powerful incantations were, I can be whatever I will to be. I turn my open dyes on myself and possess whatever I desire. I am God's child, God created all good things, including wealth, and I will to inherit it. I am resolute. I am utterly resolute. I fear no man, whether in offices or elsewhere. Power is in me, encompassing you to my demands. Hold fast, O subconscious, the thought of prosperity. In the Divine Book of Achievements, my name is written in gold. I am thus the world's nobility, and now, this moment, I take possession of my kingdom. I am part of universal mind, and thus I summon to me my rightful universal power.

Starting point is 10:52:21 Daily, my subconscious shall tell me to not be content and go on working for someone else. They were all of them ready for a million a year, except their teacher. who was ready for bankruptcy. He got pupils enough, but the overhead was huge, and his pupils were poor. He had to hire the ballroom, pay for advertising. He had to appear gaudy with a suite in the hotel. Fresh linen and newly pressed morning coat.

Starting point is 10:52:57 He sat in $20 a day red plush suites, wondering, where would he get breakfast? He was so dismayed that he began to study himself. He determined, with the resoluteness of terror, to be loyal to any loves or associates he might have hereafter. To say in his prayers and sermons practically nothing, except that he believed. He yearned to go back to Mizpah seminary,

Starting point is 10:53:30 and to get Dean Trusper's forgiveness, take a degree and return to the baptist pulmet in however baron of village but first he must earn enough money to pay for a year in the seminary he had been in correspondence with the manager of the o'hurn house in zenith a city four hundred thousand in the state of winemac a hundred miles from mizpah this was in nineteen thirteen before the hotel Thornley was built, and Gil O'Hern with his new yellow-brick tavern was trying to take the fashionable business of Zenith away from the famous but decayed Grand Hotel. Intellectual ballroom lectures add to the smartness of a hotel almost as much as a great cocktail mixer, and Mr. O'Hurne had been moved by the prospects of the learned and magnetic Dr. Elmer Gantry.

Starting point is 10:54:39 Elmer could take the Oran offer on a guarantee and be sure of a living, but he'd needed money for a week or two before the fees should come in. From whom could he borrow? Didn't he remember reading in a MISPA alumni bulletin that Frank Schallard, who had served with him in the Rustic Church at Schoenheim? now had a church near Zenith? He dug out the bulletin and discovered that Frank was in Eureka, an industrial town of 40,000.

Starting point is 10:55:17 Elmer had enough money to take him to Eureka. All the way there, he warmed up the affection with which a borrower recalls an old acquaintance who is generous and a bit soft. End of Section 20 Section 21 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. This is a Librevox recording.

Starting point is 10:55:45 All LibraVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Libravox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 21. Chapter 17, Part 1 Frank Schallard had graduated from Mizpah Theological Seminary

Starting point is 10:56:06 and taken his first pulpit. And now that he was a minister, theoretically different from all ordinary people, he was wondering whether there was any value to the ministry whatsoever. Of what value were the doggerel hymns raggedly sung? What value in sermons,

Starting point is 10:56:26 when the congregation seemed not at all different from people who never heard sermons? Were all ministers and all churches, Frank wondered, merely superstitious survivals, merely fire insurance. Suppose there were such things as inspiring sermons. Suppose there could be such a curious office as minister, as professional good man,

Starting point is 10:56:50 such a thing as learning goodness just as one learned plumbing or dentistry? Even so, what training had he or his classmates or his professors, whose DD degrees did not protect them from indigestion and bad tempers, in the trade of professional goodness. He was supposed to cure an affliction called vice. But he had never encountered vice. He didn't know just what were the interesting things that people did when they were being vicious.

Starting point is 10:57:25 How long could a drinker listen to the counsel of one who had never been inside a saloon? He was supposed to bring peace to mankind. But what did he know of the forces which caused wars, personal or class or national? What of drugs, passion, criminal desire, of capitalism, banking, labor, wages, taxes, international struggles for trade, munitions, trust, ambitious soldiers? He was supposed to comfort the sick. But what did he know of sickness? How could he tell when he ought to pray and when he ought to recommend salts?

Starting point is 10:58:05 He was supposed to explain to troubled mankind the purposes of God Almighty, to chat with him and even advise him about his duties as regards rainfall and the church debt. But which God Almighty? Professor Bruno Zekyllen had introduced Frank to a hundred gods besides the Jewish Jehovah or Yave, who had been but a poor and rather surly relation of such serene aristocrats as Zeus. He was supposed to have undergone a mystic change

Starting point is 10:58:41 whereby it was possible to live without normal appetite. He was supposed to behold girls' ankles without interest and for light of amusement to be satisfied by reading church papers and shaking hands with deacons. But he found himself most uncomfortably interested in the flicker of ankles. He longed for the theater, and no repentance could keep him from reading novels, though his professors had exposed them as time-wasting and frivolous. What had he learned?

Starting point is 10:59:19 Enough Hebrew and Greek to be able to crawl through the Bible by using lexicons, so that, like all his classmates, once they were out of this seminary, he always read it in English. A good many of the more condemnatory text of the Bible, rather less than the average holy ruler carpenter evangelist, the theory that India and Africa have woes because they are not Christianized, but that Christianized Bangor and Des Moines have woes because the devil, a being obviously more potent than omnipotent God sneaks around counteracting the work of Baptist preachers. He had learned, in theory, the ways of raising money through church fairs.

Starting point is 11:00:07 He had learned what he was to say on pastoral visits. He had learned that Roger Williams, Adoniram Judson, Luther, Calvin, Jonathan Edwards, and George Washington were the greatest men in history, that Lincoln was given to fervent prayer at all crises, and that Ingersoll had called his non-existent son to his deathbed and bidden him become an Orthodox Christian. He had learned that the Pope at Rome was plotting to come to America and get hold of the government,

Starting point is 11:00:42 and was prevented only by the denunciations of the Baptist clergy with a little help from the Methodists and Presbyterians. that most crime was caused either by alcohol or by people leaving the Baptist fold for Unitarianism, and that clergymen ought not to wear red ties. He had learned how to assemble Jewish texts, Greek philosophy, and Middle Western evangelistic anecdotes, into a sermon, and he had learned that poverty is blessed, but that bankers make the best deacons. Otherwise, as he wretchedly examined his equipment, facing his career, Frank did not seem to have learned anything whatever.

Starting point is 11:01:30 From Elmer Gantry's relations to Lulu Baines, from Harry Zinze's almost Frank hint that he was an atheist, Frank perceived that a preacher can be a scoundrel or a hypocrite and still be accepted by his congregation. From the manners of Dean Trosper, who served his God with vinegar, he perceived that a man may be free of all the skilled sins, may follow every rule of the church, and still bring only fear to his flock.

Starting point is 11:02:04 Listening to the celebrated divines who visited the seminary and showed off to the infant prophets, he perceived that a man could make scholarly and violent sounds, and yet not say anything which remained in the mind for six minutes. He concluded, in fact, that if there was any value in churches and a ministry, of which he was not very certain, in any case there could be no value in himself as a minister. Yet he had been ordained.

Starting point is 11:02:38 He had taken a pulpit. It was doubtful whether he could have endured the necessary lying, had it not been for Dean Trusper's bullying and his father's confusing pleas. Frank's father was easy-going enough, but he had been a Baptist clergyman for so many years that the church was sacred to him. To have had his son deny it would have broken him. He would have been shocked to be told that he was advising Frank to lie,

Starting point is 11:03:09 but he explained that the answers to the ordination examination, were, after all, poetic symbols, sanctified by generations of loving usage, that they need not be taken literally. So, Frank Shattered, pupil of Bruno Zeklin said nervously to an examining cleric that, yes, he did believe that baptism by immersion was appointed by God himself as the only valid way of beginning a righteous life. that yes, unrepentant sinners would go to a literal hell. That, yes, these unrepentant sinners included all persons who did not go to evangelical churches if they had their chance. And that, yes, the maker of a universe with stars 100,000 light years apart,

Starting point is 11:04:05 was interested, furious, and very personal about it if a small boy played baseball on Sunday afternoon. Half an hour after the ordination and the somewhat comforting welcome by veterans of the ministry, he hated himself and ached to flee. But again, the traditional, not wanting to hurt his father, kept him from being honest. So he stayed in the church

Starting point is 11:04:34 and went on hurting his father for years instead of for a day. Part 2. It was a lonely and troubled young man, the Frank Shalard, who for his first pastorate, came to the Baptist Church at Catawba, a town of 1800, in the same state with Zenith and the Mizpah Seminary. The town liked him, and did not take him seriously. They said his sermons were real poetic. He admired him for being able to sit with old Mrs. Randall, who had been an invalid for 30 years, a bore for 60, and never ill a day in her life. They admired him for trying to start a boys' club, though they did not go so far in their support

Starting point is 11:05:23 as to contribute anything. They all called him reverend, and told him that he was amazingly sound in doctrine for one so unfortunately well-educated, and he stayed on in a vacuum. Frank felt well about his fifth sermon in Catawba, felt that he was done with hesitations. He had decided to ignore controversial theology, ignore all dogma, and concentrated on the leadership of Jesus. That was his topic. There in the chapel with his walls of glaring robin's egg blue, the eager-eyed, curly-haired boy,

Starting point is 11:06:05 his rather shrill voice, the wail of the violin as he gave his picture of Jesus, the kindly friend, the unfailing refuge, the gallant leader. He was certain that he had done well. He was thinking of it on Monday morning as he walked from his boarding house to the post office. He saw one limb staples, a jovial horse doctor who was known as the village atheist, sitting on a decayed carriage seat in front of the fashion livery barn. Doc Staples was a subscriber to the Truth Seeker. A periodical said to be infidel,

Starting point is 11:06:45 and he quoted Robert Ingersoll, Ed Howell, Colonel Waterson, Elpert Hubbard, and other writers who were rumored to believe that a Catholic was as good as a Methodist or Baptist. The dock lived alone, batching it, in a little yellow cottage, and Frank had heard that he sat up till all hours, eleven, and even later, plain cribbage in Mort Bloom's saloon. Frank disliked him, and did not know him. He was prepared to welcome honest inquiry,

Starting point is 11:07:24 but a fellow who was an avowed atheist. Why, Frank rage, he was a, They fool. Who made the flowers, the butterflies, the sunsets, the laughter of little children? Those things didn't just happen. Besides, why couldn't the men keep his doubts to himself and not to take from other people the religion which was their one comfort and strength in illness, sorrow, and want? A matter not of morality, but of reverence for other people's belief.

Starting point is 11:07:56 In fact, of good taste. This morning, as Frank scampered down Vermont Street, Lim Staples called to him, "'Fine day, Reverend, say, in a hurry?' "'Ah, no, not especially. Come, sit down, couple of questions I'm worried about.' Frank sat his neck prickling with embarrassment. "'Say, Reverend, old Ma Gherkins was telling me about your sermon yesterday.

Starting point is 11:08:26 you fear that no matter what kind of a creed a fellow's got, the one thing we can all bank on absolute is the teaching of Jesus? Why, yes, that's it roughly, doctor. And you feel that any sensible fellow will follow his teaching? Why, yes, certainly. And you feel that the churches, no matter what faults they may have, do hand out this truth of Jesus better than if we didn't have no churches at all? Well, certainly, otherwise, I wouldn't be in the church.

Starting point is 11:09:07 Then can you tell me why it is that nine-tenths of the really sure enough on the job of membership of the churches is made up of two classes? The plumb ignorant that are scared of hell and to swallow any fool's doctrine and second, the awful respectable folks that play the church so's to seem more respectable? Why is that? Why is it the high-class skilled workmen and the smart professional man usually snar at the church and don't go near it once a month? Why is it?

Starting point is 11:09:48 It isn't true. Perhaps that's why, Frank felt remnant. He looked across at the pile of rusty horseshoes and plowshares among the mullin weeds besides the blacksmith shop. He reflected that he could clean up this town be of power for good. Less snappishly, he explained. Naturally, I haven't any statistics about it, but the fact is that almost every intelligent and influential man in the country belongs to some church or other. Yeah, belongs. But does he go?

Starting point is 11:10:29 Frank plotted off, annoyed. He tried to restore himself by insisting that Doc Staples was a lout. Very amusing in the way he mingled rustic grammar with half-digested words from his adult reading. But he was jarred. He was the common man whom the church was supposed to convince. Frank remembered from his father's past How many theoretical church members seemed blithely able, month on month, to stay away from the sermonizing.

Starting point is 11:11:03 He remembered the merchants who impressively passed the contribution plate, yet afterward, in conversation with his father, seemed to have but vague notions of what sermons had been. He studied his own congregation. There they were. The stiff-colored village respectables and the simple, kindly, rustic mass who understood him only when he promised heaven as a reward for a life of monogamy and honest chicken raisin, or threaten them with hell for drinking hard cider. Katauba had its only urban feature, a furniture factory with unusually competent workmen, few of whom attended church. Now Frank Shalard had all his life been insulated from what he

Starting point is 11:11:56 gently despised as the working class? Maids at his father house, and the elderly devout and incompetent negroes who attended the furnace? Plumbers are electricians coming to the parsonage for repairs? Railway men,

Starting point is 11:12:12 to whom he tried to talk on journeys. Only these had he known, and always with unconscious superiority. Now, he timidly sought to get acquainted with the cabinet makers as they sat at lunch in their factory grounds. They accepted him good-naturedly, but he felt that they chuckled behind his back when he crept away. For the first time, he was ashamed of being a preacher, of being a Christian.

Starting point is 11:12:45 He longed to prove he was nevertheless a real man, and didn't know how to prove it. He found that all cabinet-makers save the king. Catholics laughed at the church and thanked the God in whom they did not believe, that they did not have to listen to sermons on Sunday mornings, when there were beautiful back porches to sit on, beautiful sporting news to read, beautiful beer to drink. Even the Catholics seemed rather doubtful about the power of purchased Mass to help their deceased relatives out of purgatory. Several of admitted that they merely did their Easter duty, went to confession and mass, but once a year. It occurred to him that he had never known how large a race of intelligent and independent

Starting point is 11:13:34 workmen there were in between the masters and the human truck horses. He had never known how casually these manual aristocrats despised the church and how they jeered at their leaders, officers of the AFL, who played safe by adhering to a valuable Christianity. He could not get away from his discoveries. They made him self-conscious as they went about the village streets, trying to look like a junior prophet and feeling like a masquerader. He might have left the ministry but for the Reverend Andrew Pendgilley, Pastor of the Catawba Methodist Church

Starting point is 11:14:18 Part 3 If you had cut and drew pengilly to the core You would have found him white clear through He was a type of clergyman favored in pious fiction Yet he actually did exist To every congregation he had served These 40 years

Starting point is 11:14:38 He had been a shepherd They had loved him, listened to him And underpaid him In 1906, when Frank came to Catawba, Mr. Pindigley was a frail, stooped veteran with silver hair, thin silver mustache, and a slow smile which embraced the world. Andrew Pindigley had gone into the Civil War as a drummer boy, slept blanketless and barefoot, and wounded in the frost of Tennessee mountains, and came out still a child, to clerk in a store and teach Sunday.

Starting point is 11:15:14 school. He had been converted at ten, but at twenty-five he was overpowered by the preaching of Osage Joe, the Indian evangelist, became a Methodist preacher, and never afterward doubted the peace of God. He was married a thirty to a passionate, singing girl with kind lips. He loved her so romantically, just to tuck the crazy quilt about here was poetry, and her cow-hide shoes were to him fairy slippers. He loved her so ungrudgingly that when she died in childbirth, within a year after their marriage,

Starting point is 11:15:54 he had nothing left for any other woman. He lived alone with the undiminished vision of her. Not the most scandal-mongering mother in Zion had ever hinted that Mr. Pingley looked damply upon the wittles in his fold. Little book learning had Andrew Pinn-Gilly in his youth, and to this day he knew nothing of biblical criticism, of the origin of religions, of the sociology which was beginning to absorb church leaders, but his Bible he knew and believed, word by word, and somehow he had drifted into the reading of

Starting point is 11:16:36 ecstatic books of mysticism. He was a mystic, complete, the world of plows, pavements and hatred was less to him than the world of angels, whose silver rose seemed to flash in the air about him as he meditated alone in his cottage. He was as ignorant of modern Sunday school methods as of single tax or Lithuanian finances, yet few Protestants had read more in the early fathers. On Frank Schallard's first day in Catawba, when he was unpacking his books in his room, At the residence of Deacon Halter, the druggist, the Reverend Mr. Pingilly was announced. Frank went down to the parlor, gilded cat-tails in a basket of stereoptican views, and his loneliness was warmed by Mr. Pingilly's enveloping smile, his drawing voice.

Starting point is 11:17:34 "'Welcome, brother. I am Ping-Gilly of the Methodist Church. I never was much of a hand at seeing any difference between the denomination, and I hope we'll be able to work together for the glory of God. I do hope so, and I hope you go fishing with me. I know, enthusiastically, a pound where there's some elegant piquor. Many evening they spent in Mr. Pindgilly's cottage, which was less littered and odorous than that of the village atheist Doc Limb Staples, only because the stalwart ladies of Mr. Pinn-Gilley's congregation vied in sweeping for him, dusting for him, disarranging his books, and hint-tracked sermon notes, and bullying him into the matter of rubbers and winter flannels.

Starting point is 11:18:29 They would not let him prepare his own meals. They made him endure the several boarding-houses in turn, but sometimes of an evening he would cook scrambled eggs for fraying, He had pride in his cooking. He had never tried anything but scrambled eggs. His living room was overpowering with portraits and carbon points. Though every local official board pled with him about it, he insisted on including Madonna's Cincicento,

Starting point is 11:19:01 Resurrection, St. Francis of Assisi, and even a sacred heart, with such Methodist worthies as the Leonidas hemline and the cloaked romantic Francis Asbury. In the bay window was a pyramid of wire shelves filled with geraniums. Mr. Pangelly was at earnest gardener, except during such weeks as he fell into dreams and forgot to weed in water. And through the winter he watched for the geranium leaves to whither enough so that he could pick them off and be able to feel busy.

Starting point is 11:19:36 All over the room with aged dog and ancient cat, Who detested each other, never ceased growling at each other, and at night slept curled together. In an antiquated and badly listed rocking chair, patted with calicole cushions, Frank listened to Mr. Pendgilly's ramblings. For a time they talked only of externals, gossip of their parishes, laughter at the man who went from church to church, fretting the respectable by shouting, hallelujah! Local chatter, not without wholesome and comforting malice.

Starting point is 11:20:13 Frank was at first afraid to bear his youthful hesitancies, to so serene an old saint, but at last he admitted his doubts. How, he demanded, would you reconcile a loving God with one who would strike down an ozah for the laudable act of trying to save the ark of the covenant from falling? Who would kill 42 children, and somewhat ludicrously, for shouting at Elisha, as any small boy in Kitabah today would shout? Was it reasonable?

Starting point is 11:20:49 And if it wasn't, if any part of the Bible was mythical, where to stop? How could we know if anything in the Bible was inspired? Mr. Pindgilly was not shocked, nor was he very agitated. His thin fingers together, far down in his plush chair, he mused. Yes, I'm told the higher critics ask these questions. I believe it bothers people, but I wonder if perhaps God hasn't put these stumbling blocks in the Bible as a test of our faith,

Starting point is 11:21:25 of our willingness to accept, with all our hearts and souls, a thing that may seem ridiculous to our minds. You see, our minds don't go far. Think, how much does an astronomer know about folks on Mars, if there are any folks there? Isn't it with our hearts, our faith, that we have to accept Jesus Christ and not with our historical charts? Don't we feel his influence on our lives?

Starting point is 11:21:58 Isn't it the biggest men that feel it the most? Maybe God wants to keep out of the ministry All the folks who are so stuck on their poor minds That they can't be humble And just accept the great overpowering truth of Christ's mercy Do you, when do you feel nearest to God When you're reading some awful smart book Criticizing the Bible

Starting point is 11:22:26 Or when you kneeled in prayer And your spirit just flows forth and you know that you're in communion with him? Oh, of course. Don't you think maybe he will explain these puzzling things in his own good time? And meanwhile, wouldn't you rather be a help to poor sick worried folks than write a cute little book finding fault? Oh, well, and has there ever been anything like the old book for bringing life?

Starting point is 11:23:01 lost souls home to happiness? Hasn't it worked? In Andrew Pingley's salicing presence, these seemed authentic arguments, actual revelations. Bruno Zeklin was far off and gray, and Frank was content. Equally, did Mr. Pingilly console him

Starting point is 11:23:23 about the intelligent workman who would have none of his church? The old man simply laughed. "'Good heavens, boy, what do you expect as a preacher? "'A whole world that's saved and nothing for you to do? "'Reckon you don't get much salary, "'but how do you expect to earn that much? "'These folks don't go to any Christian church, huh?

Starting point is 11:23:48 "'When the master started out, "'wouldn't anybody going to a Christian church. "'Go out and get them.' "'Which seemed disastrously, reasonable to the shamed Frank, and he went out to get him, and didn't do so, and continued in his ministry. He heard in theological seminary of the practice of the presence of God as a papist mystery. Now he encountered it.

Starting point is 11:24:19 Mr. Pinkilly taught him to kneel, his mind free of all worries, all prides, all hunger, his lips repeating, be thou visibly present with me, not as a charm, but that his ellipse might be soiled with more earthly phases, and when he had become strained and weary and exalted, to feel a something glowing and almost terrifying about him, and to experience thus he was certain the actual loving, proven nearness of the divinity. He began to call his mentor Father Pindylli, and the old man chided him only a little, presently did not chide him at all, though.

Starting point is 11:25:06 For all his innocence and his mysticism, Father Pindgilly was not a fool, nor weak. He spoke up partially to a loudmouth grocer, new come to town, who considered the patriarch a subject for what he called kidding, and who shouted, well, I'm getting tired watching you and your preachers to pray for rain, guess you don't believe this stuff much yourselves. He spoke to, O Miss Udell, the purity specialist of town, when she came to snuffle that Amy Dove was carrying on with the boys in the twilight. And I know how you like a scandal, sister, said he.

Starting point is 11:25:47 Maybe Tate Christian to deny you one, but I happen to know all about Amy. Now if you'd go out and help poor old crippled sister Eckstein do her washing, maybe you'd keep busy enough so as you can get along without your daily scandal. He had humor as well. Father Pendgilly, he could smile over the cranks in the congregation. He liked the village atheist, Doc Limb Staples, and he had him at the house, and that healed Frank's spirit to hear with what beatific. calm, Father Pindyli listened to the Doc's jibes about the penny-pinchers and the sinners in the church.

Starting point is 11:26:31 Then, said Father Pindgillet, you'll be surprised at this, but I must tell you that there's two, three sinners and you're full, too. Why, I've heard of even horse thieves that didn't belong to churches. That must prove something, I guess. Yes, sir, I admire to hear you tell about the kind-hearted atheist, after reading about the cannibals, who are remarkably little plagued with us Methodist and Baptist. Not in his garden only, but in the woods. Along the river, Father Pendelly found God in nature. He was insane about fishing, though indifferent to the catching of any actual fish.

Starting point is 11:27:16 Frank floated with him in a mossy scow in the placid backwater, under the willows, he heard the gurgle of water among the roots, and watched the circles from a leaping bass. The old man, his reddy face and silver mustache, shaded by a shocking hayfield straw hat, hummed. There's a wideness in God's mercy, like the wideness in the sea. When Father Pindigli mocked him, and you have to go to the books to find God, young man? Then Frank was content to follow him, to be his fellow preacher, to depend more on Pingli's long experience than on irritating questions, to take any explanation of the validity of the Bible, of the mission of the church, the leadership of Christ, which might satisfy this soldier of the

Starting point is 11:28:12 cross. Frank became more powerful as a preacher. He went from Catawba via pastorate's in two or three larger towns, to Eureka, a camp of forty thousand brisk industrialists, and here he was picked up and married by the Emil Bess. Part four, Bess Needham, later to be Bess Schallard, was remarkably like a rubin. She had the same cheerfulness, the same round-rudiness, and the same conviction that early-rising in chirping, fellow progenitiveness, and strict attention to food were the aims of existence. She had met Frank at a church social. She had pitied what she regarded as his underfed pallor,

Starting point is 11:29:01 and had directed her father, an amy low and competent dentist, to infright Frank Holmes for a real feed and bright music on the phonograph. She listened fondly to his talk. She had no notion what it was about, but she liked the sound of it. He was stirred by her sleek neck, her comfortable bosom, by the dimpled fingers, which stroked his hair before he knew that he longed for it. He was warned by her assertion that he put it all over, the Reverend Dr. Seeger, the older Baptist parson in Eureka, so she was able to marry him without a struggle,

Starting point is 11:29:43 and they had three children in the shortest possible time. She was an admirable wife and mother. She filled the hot water bottle for his bed. She cooked corn, beef, and cabbage perfectly. She was polite to the most exasperating parishioners. She saved money, and when he sat with fellow clerics companionably worrying about the sacramus, she listened to him, and him alone, with beaming motherliness.

Starting point is 11:30:10 He realized that with a wife and three children he could not consider leaving a church, and the moment he realized it, he began to feel trapped and to worry about his conscience all the more. Part 5 There was an Eureka with its steel mills, its briskness, its conflict between hard-fisted manufacturers and hard-headed socialists, nothing of the contemplation of Kataba, where thoughts seemed far off stars to gaze on throughout the mist. Here was a violent rush of ideas, and from this rose the preacher's liberal club,

Starting point is 11:30:51 toward which Frank was drawn before he had been in Eureka a fortnight. The ringleader of these liberals was Herman Castlebaum, the modernist rabbi, young handsome, black of eye and blacker of hair, full of laughter, regarded by the elect of the town as a shallow charlatan and a dangerous fellow, and actually the most scholarly man Frank had ever encountered, except for Bruno Zechlin. With him consorted a placidly atheistic, unitarian minister,

Starting point is 11:31:27 a Presbyterian who was orthodox on Sunday, and revolutionary on Monday, a wavering congregationalist and an Anglo-Catholic Episcopalian, who was enthusiastic about the beauties of the ritual and the mythric origin of the same. And Frank's fretting wearily started all over again. He re-read Harnik's What is Christianity? Sunderland's origin and nature of the Bible, James's varieties of religious experience, and Frasier's Golden Bough.

Starting point is 11:32:05 He was in the policing situation, where whatever he did was wrong. He could not content himself with the discussions of the liberal club. If you fellows believe that way, why don't you get out of the church? He kept demanding. Yet he could not leave them. Could not, therefore greatly succeeded among the Baptist brethren. His good wife, Bess, when he diffidently hinted of his doubts, protested,

Starting point is 11:32:36 You can't reach people just through their minds. Besides, they wouldn't understand you if you did come right out and tell them the truth as you see it. They aren't ready for it. His worst doubt was the doubt of himself, and in this quite undignified wavering he remained, envying equally Rabbi Kasselbaum's public scoffing at all religion, and the thundering certainties of the covertive

Starting point is 11:33:06 cover evangelicals, who each Sunday morning neatly pointed his conversation on the way to heaven, was himself tossed in a purgatory of self-despising doubt, where his every domestic virtue was cowardice. His every mystic aspiration a superstitious mockery, and his every desire, to be honest, a cruelty which he must spare best and his well-loved brood. He was in this mood, when the Reverend Elmer Gantry suddenly came, booming and confident, big and handsome and glossy, into his study, and explained that a Frank could let him have a hundred dollars, Elmer, and presumably the Lord, would be grateful and return the money within two weeks. The sight of Elmer as a fellow pastor was too much for Frank.

Starting point is 11:34:03 To get rid of him, he hishly gave Elmer the hundred he had saved up toward the payment of the last two obstetrical bills, and sat afterward at his desk, his head between his lax hands, praying, Oh, Lord, guide me. He leapt up. No, Elmer said the Lord had been guiding him. I'll take a chance on guiding myself.

Starting point is 11:34:28 I will. Again, weakly, but how can I hurt him? best. Hurt my dad. Hurt Father Pengelly. Oh, I'll go on. End of Section 21, Chapter 17. Section 22 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. This is the Libervox recording. All Librevox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Librevox.org. read by William Jones

Starting point is 11:35:03 Benita Springs, Florida Section 22 Chapter 18 Part 1 The Reverend Al Murgendry was writing letters He had no friends And the letters were all too

Starting point is 11:35:17 inquirers about his prosperity classes At a small oak desk in the lobby of the O'Hern House in Zenith His zenith classes here had gone not badly, not brilliantly. He had made enough to consider paying the hundred dollars back to Frank Shalard, though certainly not enough to do so. He was tired of this slippery job. He was

Starting point is 11:35:45 almost willing to return to farm implements, but he looked anything but discouraged in his morning coat, his wing collar and his dotted blue bow tie. Writing at the other half of the lobby desk was a little man with an enormous hooked nose, receding chin, and Byzantine bald head. He was in a brown business suit with a lively green tie, and he wore horn-rimmed spectacles. Vice-president of a bank, but started as a schoolteacher, Elmer decided. He was conscious that the man was watching him. A possible student? No, too old.

Starting point is 11:36:30 Elmer leaned back, full as his hands, looked as pontifical as possible, cleared his throat with a learned sound, and beamed. The little man kept glancing up, rat-like, but did not speak. "'Beautiful morning,' said Elmer. "'Yes, lovely. On mornings like this, all nature exemplifies the divine joy.' "'Oh, my goodness. No business for me. He's a preacher or an osteopath, Helmer lamented within. Is this?

Starting point is 11:37:07 This is Dr. Gantry, I believe. Why, yes, I'm sorry. I'm Bishop Tumus of the zenith area of the Methodist Church. I had the great pleasure of hearing one of your exordiums the other evening, Dr. Gantry. Elmer was hysterically thrilled. Bishop Wesley R. Tumis? For years he had heard of the bishop as one of the giants, one of the pulpit orators, one of the profound thinkers, exalted speakers, and inspired executives of the Methodist Church North. He had addressed 10,000 at Ocean Grove. He had spoken

Starting point is 11:37:50 in Yale Chapel. He had been a success in London. Elmer rose, and with a hen-shake, which must have been most painful, to the bishop, he glowed. Well, well, well, sir, this certainly is a mighty great pleasure, sir. It sure is. So you came and listened to me? Well, wish I had known that.

Starting point is 11:38:14 I'd have asked you to come up, sit on the platform. Bishop Tumus had risen also. He waved Elmer back into his chair, himself purchased like a keen little hawk, and trilled, No, no, not at all, not at all. I came only as a humble listener. I dare say I have, by chance and circumstance of age,

Starting point is 11:38:36 had more experience of Christian life and doctrine than you, and I can't pretend I exactly, in every way, agreed with you, you might say. But at the same time, that was a very impressive thought about the need of riches to carry on the work of the busy work-a-day world, as we have it at present, and the value of concentration in the silence, as well as in those happy moments of more articulate prayer. Yes, yes, I firmly believe that we ought to add to our Methodist practice

Starting point is 11:39:09 some of the great truths about the, alas, too often occulted and obstructed inner divine powers possessed in unconsciousness by each of us, as new thought has revealed them to us, and that we ought, most certainly, not to confine the church to, already perceived dogmas, but encourage it to grow. It stands to reason that really devout prayer and concentration should most materially affect both bodily health and financial welfare. Yes, yes. I was interested in what you had to say about it,

Starting point is 11:39:50 and the fact that I am going to address the Chamber of Commerce Luncheon this noon, along much of these same lines, and if you happen to be free, I should be very glad if... They went, Elmer and Bishop Tumas, and Elmer added to the bishop's observations a few thoughts, and the most caressing compliments, how about bishops in general? Bishop Wesley Artumis in particular? Pulpit Oratory and the beauties of prosperity. Everybody had a radiant time, except possibly the members of the Chamber of Commerce.

Starting point is 11:40:27 and after the luncheon elmere and the bishop walked off together my my i feel flattered that you should know so much about me i am after all a very humble servant of the methodist church of the lord that is and i should not have imagined that any slight local reputation i might have would have penetrated into the new thought world breathed the bishop oh i'm not a new thoughter i'm a temporarily conducting these courses, as a sort of psychological experiment, you might say. Fact is, I'm an ordained Baptist preacher, and of course, in seminary, your sermons were always held up to us as models. I'm afraid you flatter me, doctor. Not at all. In fact, they attracted me so that, despite my great reverence for the Baptist Church, I felt after reading your sermons there was more breadth and vigor in the Methodist Church.

Starting point is 11:41:27 and I've sometimes considered asking some Methodist leader, like yourself, about my joining your ministry. Is that a fact? Is that a fact? We could use you. Oh, I wonder if you couldn't come out to the house tomorrow night for supper, just a potluck with us. I should be most honored, Bishop. Alone in his room, Elmer exulted, That's the stunt. I'm sick of playing this lone game. Get in with a real big machine like Methodists.

Starting point is 11:42:04 Maybe have to start low down, but climb fast, be a bishop myself in ten years, with all their spondulics and big churches and big membership and everything to back me up. Me for it. O Lord, thou hast guided me. No, honest, I mean it. No more hell-raising, real religion, from now on. Ho Bish, you watch me hand you the old flattery. Part two. The Episcopal Palace. Beyond the sombre length of the drawing room, an alcove with growing arches and fantrecery, remains of the Cartusian Chapel, a dolorous crucifixion by a pupil of El Greco, this sky menacing and wind-driven behind the gaunt figure, of the dying god, mollian windows that still sparkled with the bearings of hard-riding bishops

Starting point is 11:43:04 long since ignoble dust. The refractory table, a stony expanse of ancient oak, set round with grudging monkey's chairs, and the library, on either side of the lofty fireplace, austerely shining rows of calf-bound wisdom, now dead, as were the bishops. the picture must be held in mind because it is so beautifully opposite to the residence of the rev dr wesley artumis bishop of the methodist area of zenith bishop tumus's abode was out in the section of zenith called devon woods near the junction of the chalusa and applesea rivers that development quite new in nineteen thirteen when elmer Gantry first saw it, much favored by the next to the best surgeons, lawyers, real estate dealers, and hardware salesmen.

Starting point is 11:44:05 It was a chubby, modern house, mostly in tapestry bricks, with very colored imitation tiles, a good deal of imitation and a half-timbering in the gables, and a screen porch with rocking chairs, much favored on summer evening by the episcopal but democratic person of doctors. tumus. The living room had built-in bookshelves with leaded glass, built-in seats with thin brown cushions, and a huge electrolier with shades of wrinkled glass in ruby, emerald, and watery blue. There were a great many chairs, club chairs, morse chairs, straight wooden chairs with burnt work bags and a great many tables so that progress through the room was apologetic. But the features of the room were the fireplace, the books, and the foreign curios.

Starting point is 11:45:07 The fireplace was an ingenious thing. Basically it was composed of rough-hewn blocks of green stone. Set in between the larger boulders were pebbles, pink and browned and earth-colored, which the good bishop had picked up all over the world. This pebble, the bishop would chirp, guiding you about the room, was from the shore of the Jordan, and this was a fragment from the great wall of China, and this he had stolen from a garden in Florence. They were by no means all the attractions of the fireplace, the mantle was of Cedar of Lebanon, genuine, bound with brass strips from a shipwrecked in the Black Sea, in 1902.

Starting point is 11:45:52 The bishop himself had bought the brass in Russia in 1904. The end irons were made from plowshares as used by the bishop himself when but an untutored farm lad, all unaware of coming glory in the cornfields of Illinois. The polker was, he assured you, a real whaling harpoon picked up surprisingly cheap at Nantucket. Its rude shaft was decorated with a pink bow.

Starting point is 11:46:26 This was not the doing of the bishop, but of his lady. Himself, he said, he preferred the frank crude heroic strength of the bare wood, but Mrs. Tumis felt it needed a touch, a brightening. Set in the rugged chimney of the fireplace was a plaque of smooth marble, on which was carved in artistic and currant. yielded letters, The virtue of the home is peace, the glory of the home is reverence.

Starting point is 11:46:58 The books were, as the bishop said, worth browsing over. There were naturally the Methodist discipline and the Methodist hymno, both handsomely bound, Roy, Crofty, and limp blue cap-skin with leather ties. There was an impressive collection of Bibles,

Starting point is 11:47:18 including a very ancient one, dated 1740, and one extra illustrated with all the Hoffman pictures and 160 other biblical scenes. And there were the necessary works of theological scholarship benefiting a bishop, Moody's sermons, far as life of Christ, flowers and beasties of the Holy Land, and in his steps by Charles Sheldon. The more workaday ministerial books were kept in the study. But the bishop was a man of the world, and his books fairly represented his tastes. He had a complete Dickens, a complete Walter Scott, Tennyson in the red-line edition,

Starting point is 11:48:05 bound in polished tree-calf with polished gilt edges, many of the better works of McCauley and Ruskin, and for lighter moments, novels by Mrs. Hummel. Humphrey Ward, Winston Churchill, and Elizabeth of the German Garden. It was in travel and nature study that he really triumphed. These were represented by not less than 50 volumes with such titles as How to Study the Birds, through Madagascar with Camp and Camera, My Summer in the Rockies, My Mission in Darkest Africa,

Starting point is 11:48:44 Pansies for Thoughts and London, from a bus. Nor had the bishop neglected history and economics. He possessed the Reverend Dr. Hawkins' complete history of the world, illustrated in 11 handsome volumes, a second-hand copy of Hadley's economics, and the solution of capitalism versus labor brotherly love. Yet not the fireplace, not the library, so much as the souvenirs of foreign travel

Starting point is 11:49:16 gave to the bishop's residence a flair beyond that of most houses in Devon Woods. The bishop and his lady were fond of travel. They had made six months' inspection of missions in Japan, Korea, China, India, Borneo, Java, and the Philippines, which gave the bishop an authoritative knowledge of all oriental governments, religions, psychology, commerce, and hotels. But besides that, six several summers they had gone to Europe, and usually on the more refined and exclusive tours.

Starting point is 11:49:54 Once they had spent three solid weeks, seen nothing but London, with side trips to Oxford, Canterbury, and Stratford. Once they had taken a four-dray walking trip in the T-roll, and once on a channeled steamer they had met a man, who, a Stuart said, was a... Lord. The living room reeked with these adventures. There weren't exactly so many curios. The bishop said he didn't believe in getting a lot of foreign furniture and stuff when we made the best in the world right here at home.

Starting point is 11:50:28 But as to pictures, the tumuses were devotees of photography, and they had brought back the whole world in shadow. Here was the temple of heaven at Peking, with the bishop standing in front of it. Here was the Great Pyramid with Mrs. Tumas in front of it. Here was the cathedral in Milan, with both of them in front of it. This had been snapped for them by an Italian guide, an obliging gentleman who had assured the bishop that he believed in prohibition.

Starting point is 11:51:03 Part 3 Into this room Elmer Gantry came with overpowering politeness. He bent almost as though he were going to kiss it Over the hand of Mrs. Tumas, who was a large lady with eyeglasses and modest sprightliness, and he murmured, if you could only know what a privilege this is. She blushed and looked at the bishop as if to say, This, my beloved, is a good egg. He shook hands reverently with the bishop, and boomed, how good it is of you to take in a homeless wanderer.

Starting point is 11:51:44 Nonsense. Nonsense, brother. It is a pleasure to make you at home. Before supper it served, perhaps you'd like to glance at one or two of the books and pictures and things that Mother and I have picked up in the many wanderings

Starting point is 11:51:58 to which we have been driven in carrying on the work. Now, this may interest you. This is a photograph of the House of Parliament, or Westminster, as it is also called in London, England, corresponding to our capital in Washington. Well, well, is that a fact? And here's another photo that might have some slight interest.

Starting point is 11:52:21 This is a scene very rarely photographed. In fact, it is so interesting that I sent it to the National Geographic magazine, and while they were unable to use it because of an overload of material, one of the editors wrote to me, I have the letter someplace, and he agreed with me that it was a very much. very unusual and interesting picture. It is taken right in front of the Sacri Cure, the famous church in Paris, up on the hill of Montmartyr, and if you examine it closely, you will see by the curious light that it was taken just before sunrise, and yet you see how bawly it came out.

Starting point is 11:53:03 The lady to the right there is Mrs. Tumis. Yes, sir, a real breath right out of of Paris. Well, say, that certainly is interesting, Paris, eh? But, oh, Dr. Gantry, a sadly wicked city. I do not speak of the vices of the French themselves, that is for them to settle with, their own consciousness, though I certainly do advocate the most active and widespread extension of our American Protestant missions there, as in all other European and countries which suffer under the blight and darkness of Catholicism.

Starting point is 11:53:46 But what saddens me is the thought, and I know whereof I speak, I myself have seen the regrettable, that what sadden you, Dr. Gantry, is the side of fine young Americans going over there and not profiting by the sermons in stones, the history to be read in those historical structures, but letting themselves be drawn into a life of heedless and hectic gaiety, if not indeed actual immorality. Oh, it gives one to think, Dr. Gantry. Yes, it certainly must.

Starting point is 11:54:22 By the way, Bishop, it isn't Dr. Gantry, it's Mr. Gantry, just plain reverent. But I thought in your circulars, Oh, that was a mistake on the part of the man who wrote them for me. I've talked to him good. Well, well, I admire you for speaking about it. It is none too easy for his poor, weak mortals to deny honors and titles, whether they are rightly or wrongly conferred upon us.

Starting point is 11:54:52 Well, I'm sure that it is but a question of time when you will wear the honor of a doctor of divinity degree, if I may, without a modesty, so refer to a handle which I myself happen to possess. Yes, indeed. deed, a man who combined strength with eloquence, charm of presence, and a fine, high-grade vocabulary as you do, it is but a question of time when, Wesley, dear, supper is served. Oh, very well, my dear. The ladies, Dr. Gantry,

Starting point is 11:55:27 Mr. Gantry, as you have already observed, they seem to have this strange notion that a household must be run on routine lines, and they don't hesitate, blah. Bless them to interrupt even an abstract discussion to bid us to come to the festal board when they feel it's time, and I, for one, make haste to obey, and, after supper there's a couple of other photographs that might interest you, and I do want you to take a peep at my books. I know a poor bishop has no right to yield to the lust for materially,

Starting point is 11:56:04 "'but I plead guilty to one vice, "'my inordinate love for owning fine items of literature. "'Yes, dear, we're coming at once. "'To Jure la femme, Mr. Gantry, always the ladies.' "'Are you, by the way, Mary?' "'Not yet, sir.' "'Well, well, you must take care of that. "'I tell you in the ministry there is always a vast,

Starting point is 11:56:33 though often coarse unfair amount of criticism of the unmarried preacher, which seriously cramps him. Yes, my dear, we are coming. There were rolls hidden in the cornucopia folded napkins, and supper began with a fruit cocktail of orange apple and canned pineapple. Well, said Elmer, with a courtly bow to Mrs. Tumas, I see I'm in high society, beginning with a cocktail. I tell you I just have to have my cocktail before they eats. It went over immensely. The bishop repeated it choking.

Starting point is 11:57:15 Part four. Elmer managed, during supper, to let them know that not only was he a theological seminary man, not only had he mastered psychology, Oriental occultism, and the methods of making millions, but also he had been general manager for the famous Miss Sharon Falconer. Whether Bishop Tumis was considering, I want this man, he's a comer, he'll be useful to me, is not known. But certainly he listened with zeal to Elmer, and cooed at him, and after supper, with not more than an hour of showing him the library and the momentos of far-off rulings, He took him off to the study,

Starting point is 11:58:03 away from Mrs. Tumas, who had been interrupting every quarter of an hour, with her own recollections of roast beef at Simpsons, prices of rooms on Bloomsbury Square, meals on the French wagon restaurant, the speed of French taxi cabs, and the view of the Eiffel Tower at sunset. The study was less ornate than the living room.

Starting point is 11:58:27 There was a business-like desk, a phonograph for dictation, a card catalog of possible contributors to funds, a steel filing cabinet, and the bishop's own typewriter. The books were strictly practical. Cruden's concordance, Smith's Dictionary of the Bible, an Atlas of Palestine, and the three published volumes of the bishop's own sermons. By glancing at these for not more than ten minutes, he could have an address ready for any occasion. The bishop sank into his golden oak revolving desk chair, pointed at his typewriter and sighed, from this horrid room, you can get a hint of how pressed I am by practical affairs. What I should like to do is to sit down quietly there at my beloved machine and produce some work

Starting point is 11:59:22 of pure beauty that would last forever. Where even the most urgent, Temporal affairs tend, perhaps to pass away. Of course, I have editorials in the advocate, and my sermons have been published. He looks sharply at Elmer. Oh, yes, of course, Bishop, I've read them. That's very kind of you, but what I've longed for all these years is sinfully worldly literary work. I've always fancied, perhaps vainly, that I have a talent. I've longed to do a book, in fact a novel.

Starting point is 12:00:01 I have rather an interesting plot. You see, this farm boy brought up in circumstances of want, with very little opportunity for education, he struggles hard for what book learning he attains, but there, in the green fields, in God's own pure meadows, surrounded by the leafy trees and the stars overhead at night, breathing this sweet open air of the pastures, He grows up a strong, pure, and reverent young man, And of course he goes up to the city. I had thought of having him enter the ministry,

Starting point is 12:00:38 But I don't want to make it autobiographical, So I shall have him enter a commercial line, But one of the more constructive branches of the great realm of business Say like banking. Well, he meets the daughter of his boss, She is a lovely young woman, but tempted by the manifold temptations of gaieties of the city, and I want to show how his influence guides her away from the broad paths that lead to destruction, and what a splendid effect he has, not only on her but on both sides of the mart of affairs.

Starting point is 12:01:15 Yes, I long to do that, but sitting here, just us too, when almost feels, as though it would be pleasant to smoke. Do you smoke? No, thanks be to God, Bishop. I can honestly say that for years I have never known the taste of nicotine or alcohol. God be praised. When I was younger,

Starting point is 12:01:43 being kind of, you might say, a vigorous fellow, I was led now and then into temptation. But the influence of Sister Falconer, Oh, there was a sanctified soul, like a nun, only strictly Protestant, of course. They so uplifted me that now I am free of all such desires. I am glad to hear that, brother, so glad to hear it. Now, Gantry, the other day you said something about having thought of coming into the Methodist fold. How seriously have you thought about it?

Starting point is 12:02:19 Very. I wish you would. I mean, of course, neither you nor I is necessary to the progress of that great Methodist church, which day by day is more destined to instruct and guide our beloved nation. But I mean, when I meet a fine young man like you, I like to think of what spiritual satisfaction

Starting point is 12:02:44 he could have in this institution. Now, the work you're doing at present is inspiring to many fine young men, but it is single-handed. It has no permanence. When you go, much of the good you have done dies because there is no institution like the living church to carry it on. You ought to be in one of the large denominations, and of these, I feel, for all my admiration of the Baptist, that the Methodist Church is in some ways the great exemplar. It is so broad-spirited and democratic, yet very powerful. It is the real church of the people. Yes, I rather believe you're right, Bishop. Since I talked with you, I've been thinking,

Starting point is 12:03:38 if the Methodist Church would want to accept me, what would I have to do? Would there be much red tape? Well, it would be a very simple matter. As you're already ordained, I could have the district conference, which meets next month at Sparta, recommend you to the annual conference for membership. I am sure, when the annual conference meets in spring of next year, a little less than a year from now, with your credits from Terwilliger and Misba, I could get you accepted by the conference, and your order is recognized.

Starting point is 12:04:15 Till then, I can have you accepted as a preacher on trial, and I have a church right now at Banjo Crossing that is in need of just such leadership as you could furnish. Banjo has only 900 people, but you understand you would be necessary for you to begin at the bottom. The brethren would be very properly jealous if I gave you a first-class appointment right at the first. But I am sure I could advance you rapidly. Yes, we must have you in the church. church. Great is the work for consecrated hands, and I'll bet a cookie. I live to see you a bishop yourself. Part 5. He couldn't, Elmer complained, back in the refuge of his hotel,

Starting point is 12:05:06 sink to a crossroads of 900 people, with a salary of perhaps $1,100. Not after the big tent and Sharon's throngs, not after sweets and morning coats, and being Dr. Gantry to broker's wives in ballrooms. But also he couldn't go on. He would never get to the top in the new thought business. He admitted that he hadn't quite the creative mind. He could never rise to such originality as, say, Mrs. Riddle's humorous oracle, don't be scared of upsetting folks,

Starting point is 12:05:43 because most of them are topsy-turvy anyway, and you'll only be putting them back on their feet. Fortunately, except in a few fashionable churches, it wasn't necessary to say anything original to succeed among the Baptist or Methodist. He would be happy in a regular pastorate. He was a professional. As an actor enjoyed grease paint and callboards

Starting point is 12:06:07 and stacks of scenery, So Elmer had the affection of familiarity for the details of his profession, hymn books, communion service, training the choir, watching the ladies' aid grow, the drama of coming from the mysteries backstage so unknown and fascinating to the audience, to the limelight of the waiting congregation, and his mother. He had not seen her for two years, but he retained the longing to solace her, and he knew that she was only bewildered over his new thought, Harlequinade. But

Starting point is 12:06:46 900 population? He held out for a fortnight, demanded a bigger church from Bishop Tumus, brought in all his little clippings about eloquence in company with Sharon, then the Zenith lectures closed, and he had ahead only the most speculative opportunities. Bishop Tumus grieved,

Starting point is 12:07:09 I am disappointed, brother, that you should think more of the size of the flock than of the great, great opportunities for good ahead of you. Elmer looked his most flushing, gallant boy's self. Oh, no, Bishop, you don't get me, honest. I just wanted to be able to use my training where it might be of the most value. But I'm eager to be guided by you.

Starting point is 12:07:40 Two months later, Elmer was on the train to Banjo Crossing, as pastor of the Methodist Church in that Amio village under the Sycamores. End of Section 22, Chapter 18. Section 23 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. This is a Librevox recording. All Libervox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Librevox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida.

Starting point is 12:08:15 Section 23 Chapter 18 Part 1 A Thursday in June 1913 The train wandered through orchard land and cornfields, two seedy day coaches and a baggage car. Hurry and efficiency had not yet been discovered on this branch line and it took five hours to travel the 120 miles from Zenith, to Banjo crossing. The Reverend Elmer Gantry was in a state of grace,

Starting point is 12:08:51 having resolved henceforth to be pure and humble and humanitarian. He was benevolent to all his traveling companions. He was mothering the world, whether the world liked it or not. But he did not insist on any outward distinction as a parson, a professional good man. He wore a quietly, modest gray sack suit, a modestly rich maroon tie.

Starting point is 12:09:20 Not just as a minister, but as a citizen, he told himself, it was his duty to make life breezier and brighter for his fellow wayfarers. The aged conductor knew most of his passengers by their first names, and they hailed him as Uncle Ben. But he resented strangers on their home train, when Elmer shouted, lovely day, brother. Uncle Ben looked at him as if to say, well, tain't my fault. But Elmer continued his Philadelphia violences, till the old man sent in the brakeman to collect

Starting point is 12:09:58 the tickets the rest of the way. As a traveling salesman who tried to borrow a match, Elmer roared, I don't smoke, brother, and I don't believe George Washington did either. His benignancies were received with so little gratitude that he almost wearied of good works, but when he carried an old woman's suitcase off the train, she fluttered at him with the admiration he deserved, and he was moved to pat children upon the head, to their terror,

Starting point is 12:10:30 and to explain crop rotation to an ancient who had been farming for 47 years. Anyway, he satisfied the day of the day, lust for humanitarianism, and he turned back the seat in front of his, stretched out his legs, looked sleepy, so that no one would crowd in beside him, and rejoiced in having taken up a life of holiness and authority. He glanced out at the patchy country with satisfaction. Rustic, yes, but simple, and the simple honest hearts of his congregation would yearn toward him as the bookkeepers could not be depended upon to do in prosperity classes. He pictured his hearty reception at Banjo Crossing.

Starting point is 12:11:17 He knew that his district superintendent, a district superintendent is a lieutenant bishop in the Methodist Church, formerly called a presiding elder, had written the hour of his coming to Mr. Nathaniel Benham of Banjo Crossing, and he knew that Mr. Benham, the leading trustee of the local church was the chief general merchant in the Banjo Valley. Yes, he would shake hands with all of his flock,

Starting point is 12:11:47 even the humblest at the station. He would look into their clear and trusting eyes and rejoice to be their shepherd, leading them on and upward for at least a year. Banjo crossing seemed very small as the train staggered into it. They were back porches and with wash-tubs and broken-down chairs. There were wooden sidewalks.

Starting point is 12:12:12 As Elmer pontifically descended at the Red Frame Station, as he looked for the reception and the holy glee, there wasn't any reception, and the only glee visible was on the puffy face of the station agent as he observed a city fella trying to show off. "'He, he, he. There ain't no bus,' giggled the agent. "'Guess you'll have to carry your own valises over to the hotel.' "'Where?' he meant it, Elmer, is Mr. Benham, Mr. Nathaniel Benham.'

Starting point is 12:12:48 "'On that? Ain't seen him today. "'Guess he'll find him at the store, about as usual, "'seeing if he can't do some farmer out of two cents on a batch of eggs. "'Pravelling man?' I am the new Methodist preacher. Oh, well, say, that of fact. Pleased to meet you. Wouldn't have thought of you were a preacher.

Starting point is 12:13:12 You look too well-fed. You're going to room at Mr. Pete Clark's, the widow-clerks. Leave your valises here, and I'll have my boy fetch him over. Well, good look, brother. Hope you won't have much trouble with your church. The last fellow did, but then, and he was kind of perniquity. Wasn't just plain folks.

Starting point is 12:13:37 Oh, I'm just plain folks and mighty happy, after their great cities to being among them, was Elmer's amiable greeting, but what he observed as he walked away was, I am like hail. Altogether depressed now, he expected to find the establishment of Brother Benham, a littered and squalid cross-road store,

Starting point is 12:13:59 but he came to a two-story brick structure with plate-glass windows and in the alley the half-dozen trucks, with which Mr. Benham supplied the farmers for 20 miles up and down the Banjo Valley. Respectful, Elmer walked through the broad aisles, passed the counters, trim as a small department store, and found Mr. Benham dictating letters. If in a small way Nathaniel Benham, had commercial genius. It did not show in his aspect. He wore a beard like a bath sponge, and in his voice was a righteous twang. Yes, he quacked. I'm Reverend Elmer Gantry, the new pastor. Benham rose not too nimbly and shook hands dryly. Oh yes, a presiding elder said you were

Starting point is 12:14:54 coming today. Glad you've come, brother, and I hope the blessings of the Lord will attend tend your labors. You're too bored at the widow Clark's. Anybody will show you where it is. Apparently, he had nothing else to say. A little bitterly, Elmer demanded, I'd like to look over the church. Have you a key? Now let's see. Brother James might have one. He's got the paint and carpenter shop right up here on Front Street. No, I guess he has it either. We got to a young fellow, just a boy, you might say, who's doing the janitorial work now, and I guess he'd have a key, but this being vacation, he's off fishing more than likely. Tell you, you might try brother Fitzer, the shoemaker, he might have a key.

Starting point is 12:15:47 You married? No, I've been engaged in evangelist work, so I've been denied the joys and solaces of domestic life. Where are you born? Kansas? Folks Christians? They certainly were. My mother was, she is, a real consecrated soul. Smoke or drank? Certainly not. Do any monkeying with this higher criticism? No, indeed. Ever go hunting? I, oh, well, yes. that's fine well glad you're with us brother sorry i'm busy save mother and i expect you for supper to-night six-thirty good look benham's smile his handshake were cordial enough but he was definitely giving dismissal and elmer went out in a fury alternating with despair to this to the condensation of a rustic storekeeper after the mounting gloating with despair to this to the condensation of a rustic storekeeper after the mounting gloating

Starting point is 12:16:56 with Sharon? He walked toward the house of the widow Clark, to which a loafer had directed him. He hated the shabby village, hated the chicken coops in the yards, the frowsy lawns, the old buggies staggering

Starting point is 12:17:13 by, the women with plump aprons and wet red arms, women who made his delights of amorous adventures seem revolting, and all the plodding yokels with their dead eyes and sagging jaws and sudden guffawing. Fall into this, and at 32, a failure.

Starting point is 12:17:38 As he waited on the stoop of the square, white, characterless house of the widow-clerc, he wanted to dash back to the station and take the first train anywhere. In that moment, he decided to return to farm implements, and the bleak, lonely freedom of the traveling man. Then the screen door was opened by a jolly, ring-lifted girl of 14 or 15 who caroled, Oh, is it Reverend Gantry? My, and I kept you waiting? I'm terribly sorry.

Starting point is 12:18:15 Ma's just sick, and she can't be here to welcome you, but she had to go over to Cousin Edda's. Cousin Edda busted her leg. Oh, please come in. My, I didn't guess we'd have a young preacher this time. She was charming in her excited innocence. After a faded provincial fashion, the square hall was stately, with its Civil War cromos. Elmer followed the child, Jane Clark, she was, up to his room. As she frisked before him, she displayed six inches of ankle above her clumsy shoes,

Starting point is 12:18:53 and Elmer was clutched by that familiar feeling, swifter than thought, more elaborate than the strategy of a whole war, which signified that here was the girl he was going to pursue. But as suddenly, almost wistfully, in his weary desire for peace and integrity, he begged himself, no, don't, not anymore, let the kid alone. Please be decent. Lord, give me decency and goodness.

Starting point is 12:19:23 the struggle was finished in the half-minute of ascending the stairs and he could shake hands casually say carelessly well i might be glad you are here to welcome me sister and i hope i may bring a blessing on this house he felt at home now warmed restored his chamber was agreeable turkey-red carpet stove a perfect shrine of polished nickel and in the bow-window and in the bow-window a deep armchair. On the four-poster bed was a crazy quilt, and pillow-shams embroidered with lambs and rabbits, and the motto, God bless our slumbers. This was going to be all right,

Starting point is 12:20:10 kind of like home, after those doggone hotels, he meditated. He was again ready to conquer Banjo Crossing, to conquer Methodism, and when his bags and trunk had come, he set out, before unpacking, to view his kingdom. Part 2. Bancho Crossing was not extensive, but to find the key to the First Methodist Church

Starting point is 12:20:37 was a Scotland yard melodrama. Brother Fitzger, the shoemaker, had lent it to Sister Anderson of the lady's aide, who had lent it to Mrs. Prischetsky, the scrub woman, who had lent it to Pussy Burns, president of the Eppworth League, who had lent it to Sister Fistcher consort of Brother Fistcher, so that Elmer captured it next door to the shoemaker's shop from which he had irritably set out. Each of them, brother Fristcher and sister Fristcher, Sister Prischetsky and Sister Byrne's sister Anderson, and most of the people from whom he had inquired directions along the way,

Starting point is 12:21:23 asked him the same questions. You, the new Methodist preacher, and not married, are you? And just come to town, and here you come from the city. Guess you're pretty glad to get away, aren't you? He hadn't much hope for his church building. He had not seen it yet.

Starting point is 12:21:46 He was hidden behind the school building, but he expected a hideous brown hawk with plank buttresses. he was delighted then proud as a worthy citizen elected mayor when he came to an agreeable little church covered with gray shingles crowned with a modest spire rimmed with cropped lawn and flower-beds excitedly he led himself in greeted by the stale tomb-like odor of all empty churches the interior was pleasant it would hold two hundred and ninety perhaps the pews were of a light yellow too glaring but the walls were of soft cream and in the chancel with a white arch graceful above it was a seemly white pulpit and a modest curtained choir loft he explored there was a goodish sunday-school room a basement with tables and a small kitchen it was all cheerful alive it suggested a chance of growth as a return to the auditorium he noted one good-colored memorial window and through the clear glass of the others the friendly maples looked at him he walked around the building suddenly he was overwhelmed and exalted with the mystic pride of ownership it was all his his own and as such it was all beautiful

Starting point is 12:23:15 what beautiful soft gray shingles what an exquisite spire what a glorious maple tree yes and what a fine cement walk what a fine new ash can what a handsome announcement board soon to be starred with his own name, his, to do with as he pleased, and, oh, he would do fine things, aspiring things, very important things. Never again with this new reason for going on living, would he care for Lord desires, for pride, for the adventure of women. Part 3 He entered the church again, he set proudly in each of the three chairs on the platform, which, as a boy he had believed to be reserved for the three persons of the Trinity. He stood up, leaned his arms on the pulpit, and to a worshipping throne, many standing, he boomed,

Starting point is 12:24:16 My brethren! He was in an ecstasy such as he had not known since his hours worth sharing. He would start again. Sad started again. He vowed. ever lie or cheat or boast. This town, it might be dull, but he would enliven it,

Starting point is 12:24:40 make it his own creation, lifted to his own present glory he would. Life opened before him, clean joyous, full of the superb chances of a Christian knighthood. Someday he would be a bishop. Yes, but even that was nothing compared with the fact that he had won

Starting point is 12:24:59 a victory over his lower nature. He knelt, and with his arms wide in supplication, he prayed, Lord thou hast stooped to my great unworthiness, and taken even me to thy kingdom. Who this moment hast shown me the abiding joy of righteousness, make me woe, and keep me pure in all things, our father. Thy will be done, amen. He stood by the pulpit, tears in his eyes, his meady hands clutching the cover of the great leather Bible till it cracked.

Starting point is 12:25:37 The door at the other end of the aisle was opening, and he saw a vision standing on the threshold in the June sun. He remembered afterward, from some forgotten literary adventure in college, a couplet which signified to him the young woman who was looking at him from the door, pale beyond porch and portal, crowned with calm leaves she stands.

Starting point is 12:26:06 She was younger than himself, yet she suggested a serene maturity, a gracious pride. She was slender, but her bosom was full, and some day she might be portly. Her face was lovely, her forehead, wide, her brown eyes trusting, and smoothed her chestnut hair.

Starting point is 12:26:27 She had taken off her rose-trimmed straw hat and was swinging it in her large graceful hands. Virginal, stately, kind, most generous. She came passively down the aisle, a hand out, crying, It's Reverend Gantry, isn't it? I'm so proud to be the first to welcome you here in the church. I'm Cleo Benham.

Starting point is 12:26:52 I lead the choir. Perhaps you've seen Papa? He's a trustee. He has the store. You sure. are the first to welcome me, Sister Benham, and it's a mighty great pleasure to meet you. Yes, your father was so nice as to invite me for supper tonight. They shook hands with ceremony and set beaming at each other in the front pew.

Starting point is 12:27:17 He informed her that he was certain there was going to be a great spiritual awakening here. And she told them what lovely people there were in the congregation in the village in the entire surrounding country. And her panting breast told him that she, the daughter of the village magnate, had instantly fallen in love with him. Part 4. Cleo Benham had spent three years

Starting point is 12:27:46 in the Spartan Women's College, specializing in piano, organ, French, English literature, strictly expurgated, and study of the Bible. returned to Banjo Crossing. She was a fervent church worker. She played the organ and rehearsed the choir. She was a superintendent of the juvenile departments in the Sunday school.

Starting point is 12:28:09 She decorated the church for Easter, for funerals, for the Halloween supper. She was 27, five years younger than Elmer. Though she was not very lively in summer evening front porch chatter, though on the few occasions when she sinned against the discipline and danced, she seemed a little heavy on her feet, though she had a corset of purity which was dismaying to the earthy young men of Banjo Crossing, yet she was handsome,

Starting point is 12:28:43 she was kind, and her father was reputed to be worth not a cent less than $75,000. So almost no eligible male in the vicinity, had hinted at proposing to her. Gently and compassionately, she had rejected them one by one. Marriage must, she felt, be a sacrament. She must be the helpmeet of someone who was doing a tremendous amount of good in the world. This good, she identified with medicine or preaching. Her friends assured her,

Starting point is 12:29:19 My, with your Bible training and your music and all, you'd make a perfect pastor's wife just dandy. You'd be such a help to him. But no detached preacher or doctor had happened along, and she had remained insulated, a little puzzled, hungry over the children of her friends, each year more passionately given to hymnody and agonized solitary prayer.

Starting point is 12:29:48 Now, with innocent boldness, she was exclaiming to Elmer, we were so afraid. The bishop would send us some pastor that was old and worn out. The people here are lovely, but they're kind of slow-going. They need somebody to wake them up. I'm so glad that he sent somebody that was young and attractive. Oh, I shouldn't have said that.

Starting point is 12:30:13 I was just thinking of the church, you understand. Her eyes said that she had not been just thinking of the church. She looked at her wristwatch, the first in Banjo crossing, and chanted, Why, my gracious, it's six o'clock. Would you like to walk home with me instead of going to Mrs. Clark's? You could wash up at Papa's. You can't lose me, exulted Elmer, hastily amending, as the slangy youngsters say. Yes, indeed, I should be very pleased to have the pleasure of walking home with you.

Starting point is 12:30:49 Under the elms, past the rose bushes, through dust emblazoned by the declining sun, he walked with his stately abbess. He knew that she was the sort of wife who would help him to capture a bishopric. He persuaded himself that, with all her virtue, she would eventually be interesting to kiss. He noted that they made a fine couple. He told himself that she was the first woman he had ever found. who was worthy of him. Then he remembered Sharon.

Starting point is 12:31:24 But the pain lasted only for a moment in the secure village piece in the gentle flow of Cleo's voice. Part 4. Once he was out of the sacred briskness of his store, Mr. Nathaniel Benham forgot discount and became an affable host. He said,

Starting point is 12:31:47 Well, well, brother, ever so many times, and shook hands profusely. Mrs. Benham, she was a large woman, rather handsome. She wore figured foolard and an apron over it. She had been helping in the kitchen. Mrs. Benham was equally cordial. I'll just bet you're hungry, brother, cried she. And he was, after a lunch of ham sandwich and coffee at a station room on the way down.

Starting point is 12:32:17 The Benham House was the proudest mansion in town. It was of yellow clapboards with white trim. It had a huge green porch and a little turret, a staircase window with a border of colored glass, and there was a real fireplace, though it was never used. In front of the house, to Elmer's admiration, was one of the three automobiles, which were all that were to be found in 1913 in Banjo Crossing.

Starting point is 12:32:47 it was a bright red beouac with brass trimming the benham supper was as replete with fried chicken and theological questions as elmer's first supper with deacon baines in shernheim but here was wealth for which elmer had a touching reverence and here was cleo lou louis baines had been a tempting mouthful cleo benham was of the race of queens To possess her, Elmer goaded, would in itself be an empire worth any battling, and yet he did not itch to get her in the corner and buss her, as he had Lulu. The slope of her proud shoulders did not make his fingers taught. After supper, on the screen porch pleasant by dusk, Mr. Benham demanded, What charges have you been holding, brother Gantry? Elmer modestly let him know how important he had been in the work of Sister Falconer.

Starting point is 12:33:54 He admitted his scholarly research at Mispah Seminary. He made quite enough of his success at Chernheim, and he let it be known that he had been practically assistant sales manager of the Piquot Farm Implement Company. Mr. Benham grunted with surprised admiration. Mrs. Benham-Gurgled, My, we're lucky to have a real high-class preacher for once. And Cleo? She leaned toward Elmer in a deep willow chair,

Starting point is 12:34:27 and her nearness was a charm. He walked back happily into June darkness. He felt neighborly when an unknown muttered. Even in Reverend? And all the way he saw Cleo, proud as Athena, yet pliant as gold-skinned Aphrodite. He had found his work, his mate, his future. Virtue he pointed out, certainly did pay.

Starting point is 12:34:59 In the Section 23, Chapter 19. Section 24 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. This is a Liberbox recording. All Lieberbox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Libravox.org, read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 24. Chapter 20, Part 1 through 6. Part 1

Starting point is 12:35:34 He had two days to prepare his first sermon, and unpack his trunk, his bags, and the books which he had purchased in Zenith. His possessions were not very consistent. He had a beautiful new morning coat, three excellent lounge suits, patent leather shoes, a noble derby, a flourishing top hat, but he had only two suits of underclothes, both ragged. His socks were black silk out at the toes. For a breast pocket display, he had silk handkerchiefs, but for use only cotton rags torn at the hem. He owned perfume, hair oil. talcum powder. His couplings were of solid gold, but for dressing-gown, he used his overcoat.

Starting point is 12:36:26 His livers were a frowsy pulp, and the watch which he carried on a gold and platinum chain was a one-dollar alarm clock. He had laid in a fruitful theological library. He had bought the 50 volumes of the Expositor's Bible source of ready-made sermons, secondhand for $13.75. He had the sermons of Spurgeon, Jefferson, Brooks, and J. Wilbur Chapman. He was willing to be guided by these masters and not insist on forcing his own ideas on the world. He had a very useful book by Bishop Abramon.

Starting point is 12:37:10 the very appearance of evil, advising young preachers to avoid sin. Elmer felt that this would be unusually useful in his new life. He had a dictionary. He liked to look at the colored plates depicting jewels, flags, plants, and aquatic birds. He had a Bible dictionary, a concordance, a history of the Methodist Church, a history of Protestant missions, commentaries on individual books of the Bible, an outline of theology,

Starting point is 12:37:45 and Dr. Argyles, the pastor and his flock, which told how to increase church collections, train choirs take exercise, placate deacons, and make pasteboard models of Solomon's Temple to lead the little ones to holiness in the Sunday school. In fact, he had had a sufficient,

Starting point is 12:38:07 library, God's artillery in black and light, as Bishop Tumis wittily dubbed it, to inform himself of any detail in the practice of a professional good man. He would be able to produce sermons which would be highly informative about the geography of Palestine, yet useful to such of his fold as might have a sneaking desire to read magazines on the Sabbath. guided, he could increase the church membership. He could give advice to errant youth. He could raise missionary funds so that the heathen in Calcutta and Peking might have the opportunity to become like the Reverend Elmer Gantry. Part 2. Though Cleo took him for a drive through the country, most of the time before Sunday he dedicated to refurbishing a sermon which he had

Starting point is 12:39:07 often and successfully used with Sharon. The text was from Romans 116, quote, For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God unto salvation to everyone that believeth, close quote. When he came up to the church on Sunday morning, tall and ample, grave and magnificent, his face fixed in a smile of friendliness, his morning coat bright in the sun, a Bible under his arm. Elmer was accelerated by the crowd filtering into the church. The street was filled with country buggies and a ford or two. As he went round to the back of the church, passing a knot at the door, they shouted cordially, good morning, brother, and fine day, Reverend. Clewell was waiting for him with the church choir, Miss Clough, schoolteacher,

Starting point is 12:40:06 Mrs. Diebel, wife of the implement dealer, Ed Perkins, Delivery Man for Mr. Benham, and Ray Fawcett, Buttermaker at the Creamery. Cleo held his hand and rejoiced, What a wonderful crowd there is this morning! I'm so glad! Together they peeped through the parlor door into the auditorium, and he almost put his arm around her firm waist, it would have seemed natural, very pleasant, and right and sweet.

Starting point is 12:40:35 When he marched out to the chancel, the church was full, a dozen standing, they all breathed with admiration. He learned later that the last pastor had had trouble with his false teeth and a fondness for whining. He led the same.

Starting point is 12:40:56 "'Come on now,' he laughed. "'You've got to welcome your new preacher. "'The best way is to put a lot of lung power into it "'and sing like the dickens. "'You can all make some kind of noise. "'Make a lot.' "'Himself he gave example, "'his deep voice rolling out in hymns

Starting point is 12:41:17 "'of which he had always been fond. "'I love to tell the story, "'and my faith looks up to thee.' He prayed briefly. He was weary of prayers, and which the priest ramblingly explained to God, that God really was God. This was, he said, his first day with the new flock. Let the Lord give him ways of showing them his love and his desire to serve them.

Starting point is 12:41:47 Before his sermon he looked from brother to brother. He loved them all that moment. They were his regiment, and he the colonel. his ship's crew and he the skipper his patience and he the loyal physician he began slowly his great voice swelling to triumphant certainty as he talked voice sureness presence training power he had them all never had he so well liked his robe never had he acted so well never had he known such sincerity of histrionic instinct he had solid doctrine for the older stalwarts with comforting positiveness he preached that the atonement was the one supreme fact in the world it rendered the most sickly and threadbare the equals of kings and millionaires it demanded of the successful that they make every act a recognition of the atonement for the young people he had plenty of anecdotes and he was not afraid to make him laugh while he did tell the gloomy incident of the boy who was drowned while fishing on sunday

Starting point is 12:43:06 He also gave them the humorous story of the lad who declared he wouldn't go to school. Because it said in the 23rd Psalm that the Lord made him lie down in green pastures, and he sure did prefer that to school. For all of them, that particularly for Cleo, sitting at the organ, her hands clasped in her lap, her eyes loyal, he winged into poetry. to preach the good news of the gospel ah that was not as the wicked pretended a weak sneveling sanctimonious thing it was the job for strong men and resolute women for this the methodist missionaries had faced the ferocious lion and the treacherous fever of the jungle the poisonous cold of the arctic the parching desert and the fields of battle Were we to be less heroic than they?

Starting point is 12:44:08 Here, now, in Banjo Crossing? There was no triumph of business so stirring, no despairing need of a sick friend so urgent as the call to tell blinded and perishing sinners of a necessity of repentance. Repentance, repentance, repentance, in the name of the Lord God. His superb voice trumpeted it, and in Cleo's eyes were inspired tears.

Starting point is 12:44:41 Beyond controversy, it was the best sermon ever heard in Banjo Crossing. And they told him so as he cheerily shook hands with him at the door. Enjoy your discord a lot, Reverend. And Cleo came to him, her two hands out, and he almost gist her. Part 3. Sunday School was held after morning services. Elmer determined that he was not going to attend Sunday school every week. Not on your life. Sneak in a nap before dinner. But this morning he was affable and expansively there,

Starting point is 12:45:21 encouraging the little ones by a bright short talk, in which he advised them to speak the truth, obey their fathers and mothers and give heed to the revelations of their teachers, such as Miss Mitty Lamb, the milliner, and Oscar Schultz, manager of the potato warehouse. Banjo Crossing had not yet touched the modern Sunday school methods, which in the larger churches in another ten years were to provide the pupils as elaborately as public schools, and to provide training classes for the teachers. but at least they had separated the children up to ten years from the older students and of this juvenile department cleo benham was superintendent

Starting point is 12:46:09 elmer watched her going from class to class he saw how naturally and affectionately the children talked to her she'd make a great wife and mother a great wife for a preacher a great wife for a bishop he noted. Section 4. Evening services at the Banjo Crossing Methodist Church had normally drawn less than 40 people. But there were a hundred tonight, when flumblingly Elmer broke away from the old-fashioned church practice and began what was later to become his famous lively Sunday evenings. He chose the brighter hymns, onward Christian soldiers, wonderful worlds of life, brightened the corners where you are, and the triumphant peon of, when the roll is called up yonder, I'll be there.

Starting point is 12:47:08 Instead of making them drone through many stanzas, he had them seeing one from each hymn. Then he startled them by shouting, Now I don't want any of you old fellows to be shocked, or say it isn't proper in church, because I'm going to get the spirit waken, and maybe get the old devil on the road, run. Remember, the Lord who made sunshine and the rejoicing hills

Starting point is 12:47:34 must have been behind the fellows that wrote the glad songs. So I want you all to pipe up good and lively with Dixie. Yes, sir. Then for the old fellows like me, we'll have a stanza of that magnificent old reassurance of righteousness, how firm of foundation. Well, they did look shocked. Some of them. But the youngsters, the boys and girls,

Starting point is 12:48:03 keeping an aseptic trist in the back of the pews, were delighted. He made them sing the chorus of Dixie over and over to all but one or two of the rheumatic saints looked cheerful. His text was from Galatians, but the fruit of the spirit is love, joy and peace. Don't you ever listen for one,

Starting point is 12:48:28 second, he commanded, to those wishy-washy fellows that carry water on both shoulders, that love to straddle the fence, that are scared of the sternness of the good old-time Methodist doctrine, and tell you that details don't mean anything, that dogmas and the discipline don't mean anything? They do. Justification means something. Baptism means something. It means something that the wicked and worldly stand for this horrible staking tobacco and this insane alcohol, which makes a man like a murderer,

Starting point is 12:49:07 but we Methodists keep ourselves pure and unspotted and undefiled. But tonight, on this first day of getting acquainted with you, brothers and sisters, I don't want to go into these details. I want to go down to the fundamental thing which details merely carry out, And that fundamental thing? What is it? What is it? What is it but Jesus Christ,

Starting point is 12:49:35 and His love for each and every one of us. Love, love, love. How beauteous the very word. Not carnal love, but the divine presence. What is love? Listen, it is the rainbow that stands out in all its glorious, many-colored hues, illuminating and making glad again the dark clouds of life.

Starting point is 12:50:02 It is the morning and evening star that in glad refulgence, there on the odd horizon, call nature's hearts to an uplifted, rejoicing in God's marvelous firmament. Round about the cradle of the babe, sleeping so quietly while o'er him hangs in almost agonized adoration, his loving mother, shines the miracle of love.

Starting point is 12:50:29 And at the last sad end, comforting the hearts that bear its immortal permanence, round even the quiet tomb, shines love. What is great art? And I am not speaking of ordinary pictures, but of those celebrated old masters with their great moral lessons. What is the mother of art? the inspiration of the poet, the patriot, the philosopher, and the great man of affairs,

Starting point is 12:51:02 be business man or statesman? Yes, what inspires their every effort save love. Oh, do you not sometimes hear, stealing o'er the plains at dawn, coming as it were from some far-distant secret place, a sound of melody? When our dear sister here plays the offeratory, Do you not seem sometimes to catch the distant rustle of the wings of cherubim? And what is music? Lovely, lovely music.

Starting point is 12:51:35 What is fair melody? Ah, music, tis the voice of love. Ah, tis the magician that makes royal kings out of plain folks like us. Tis the perfume of the wondrous flower. "'Tis the strength of the athlete, "'strong and mighty to endure "'mid the heat and the dust of the valorous conquest? "'Ah, love, love, love.

Starting point is 12:52:04 "'With out it, we are less than beasts. "'With it, earth is heaven, and we are the gods. "'Yes, that is what love, "'created by Christ Jesus, "'and conveyed through all the generations by his church, "'partically, it seems to me, by their great, broad, Democrat, liberal brotherhood of the Methodist Church? That is what it means to us.

Starting point is 12:52:30 I am reminded of an incident in my early youth while I was in the university. There was a young man in my class. I will not give you his name, except to say we call him Jim. A young man, pleasing to the eye, filled with every possibility for true deep Christian service. but alas, so beset with the boyish pride of mere intellect, of mere smart elegytism, that he was unwilling to humble himself before the source of all intellect and accept Jesus as his Savior. I was very fond of Jim.

Starting point is 12:53:13 In fact, I had been willing to go and room with him in the hope of bringing him to his senses and getting him to embrace salvation. But he was a man who had read books by folks like Ingersoll and Thomas Payne, fool, swell-headed folks that thought they knew more than Almighty God. He would quote their polluted and devil-inspired ravings instead of listening to the cool healing stream that cusses blessedly forth from the Holy Bible. Well, I argued and argued and argued. I guess that shows I was pretty young and foolish myself,

Starting point is 12:53:54 but one day I was inspired to something bigger and better than any arguments. I just said to Jim, all of a sudden, Jim, I said, Do you love your father? A fine old Christian gentleman his father was, too, a country doctor with that heroism, that self-sacrifice, that wide experience which the country doctor has. Do you love your old dad? I asked him. Naturally, Jim was awful fond of his father, and he was kind of hurt that I should have asked him. Sure, of course I do, he says.

Starting point is 12:54:37 Well, Jim, I says, does your father love you? "'Why, of course he does,' said Jim. "'Then look here, Jim,' I said. "'If your earthly father can love you, "'how much more must your father in heaven, "'who created all love, "'how much more must he care and yearn for you?' "'Well, sir, that knocked him right over.

Starting point is 12:55:04 "'He forgot all the smartly things he had been reading, "'he just looked at me, and I could see a tear quivering in the lad's eyes as he said, I see what you mean now, and I want to say, friend, that I'm going to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Master.

Starting point is 12:55:22 Oh, yes, yes, yes, how beautiful it is the golden glory of God's love. Do you not feel it? I mean that. I don't mean just a snuffling, lazy mechanical acceptance, but a passionate,

Starting point is 12:55:41 he had him it had been fun to watch the old fanatics who had objected to the singing of dixie come under his spell and admit his power he had preached straight at one of them after another he had conquered them all at the end they all shook hands even more warmly than in the morning cleo stood back hypnotized when he came to her she intoned her eyes unseen, O Reverend Gantry, this is the greatest day our old church has ever known. Did you like what I said of love? Oh, yes, yes.

Starting point is 12:56:27 She spoke his one asleep. She seemed not to know that he was holding her hand, softly. She walked out of the church beside him, unspeaking, and of her tranced holiness, he felt a little awe. Part 6. In his attention to business,

Starting point is 12:56:49 Elmer had not given special heed to the collections. It had not been carelessness, for he knew his technique as a professional good man, but the first day he felt he ought to establish himself as a spiritual leader. And when they all understood that, he would see to it that they paid suitably for the same. spiritual leadership.

Starting point is 12:57:13 Was not the laborer worthy of his heart? End of Section 24 of Elmer Gantry. Section 25 of Elmer Gantry. This is a Libervox recording. All LiberVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Librevox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida.

Starting point is 12:57:44 Section 25. Chapter 20 Part 7 through 12 Part 7 The reception to welcome Elmer was held the next Tuesday evening in the basement of the church. From 7.30 when they met till a quarter of 8, he was busy with prodigious amount of handshaking. They told him he was very eloquent, very spiritual. He could see Cleo's pride at their welcome. She had the chance to whisper,

Starting point is 12:58:18 Do you realize how much it means? Mostly they aren't anything like so welcoming to a new preacher. Oh, I am so glad. Brother Benham called them to order in the basement, and Sister Kilween sang the Holy City as a solo. It was pretty bad. Brother Benham, in a short, hesitating talk, said they had been delighted by Brother Gantry's sermons.

Starting point is 12:58:50 Brother Gantry, in a long and gushing talk, said that he was delighted by Brother Benham, the other Benham's, the rest of the congregation, Banjo Crossing, Banjo County, the United States of America, Bishop Tumas, and the Methodist Episcopal Church North, in all its departments. Cleo concluded the celebration

Starting point is 12:59:15 with a piano solo, and there was a great deal more of handshaking. It seemed to be the rule that whoever came or was pushed within reach of the pastor, no matter how many times during the evening, should attack his hand each time. And they had cake and homemade ice cream. It was very dull, and to Elmer, very grateful. He felt accepted, secure, and ready to begin his work, work. Part 8. He had plans for the Wednesday evening prayer meeting. He knew what a prayer meeting in Banjo Crossing would be like. They would drone a couple of hymns, and the faithful, half a dozen of them,

Starting point is 13:00:04 always using the same words, would pop up and mumble, oh, I'll thank the Lord that he has reveal himself to me and has shown me the air of my ways, and oh, that those who have not seen his light and whose hearts are heavy with sin may turn to him this evening while they still have life and breath, which they never did. And the sullenly unhappy woman in the faded jacket at the back would demand, I want the prayers of the congregation to save my husband from the sins of smoking and drinking. I may not, Kulmer meditated, be as swell as scholar as old Tumas, but I can invent a lot of stunts and everything to wake the church up and attract the crowds, and that's worth a whole lot more than all this yowling about the prophets and theology.

Starting point is 13:01:06 He began his stunts with that first prayer meeting. He suggested, I know that a lot of us want to give testimony, but sometimes it's hard to think of new ways of saying things, and let me suggest something new. Let's give our testimony by picking out hymns that express just how we feel about the dear Savior and his help. Then we can all join together in the gladsome testimony. It went over. That's a fine fellow, that new Methodist preacher, said the villagers that week.

Starting point is 13:01:47 They were shy enough and awkward and apparently indifferent, but in a friendly way they were spying on him, equally ready to praise him as a neighbor or snicker at him as a fool. Yes, they said, a fine fellow, and smarts a whip, and mighty elquin, and a real husky man. Looks you right straight in the eye. Only thing that bothers me, he's too good to stay here with us.

Starting point is 13:02:20 And if he is so good, why'd they ever send him here in the first place? What's it wrong with him? Boozer, do you think? Elmer, who knew his Paris, Kansas, his Gritsmocker Springs, had guessed that precisely the these would be the opinions, and he took care, as he hand shook his way from store to store,

Starting point is 13:02:48 house to explain that for years he had been out in the evangelistic field, and that by advice of his old and true friend, Bishop Tumis, he was taking this year in a small garden patch to set up for his labors to come. He was assiduous, but careful, in his pastoral calls on the women. He praised their gingerbread, Morris chairs, and souvenirs of Niagara, and their children's school exercise books. He became friendly, as friendly as he could be, to any male, with the village doctor, village homeopath, the lawyer,

Starting point is 13:03:31 the station agent, and all the staff at Benham's store. But he saw that if he was to be, take the position suitable to him in the realm of religion, he must study. He must gather several more ideas than ever so many new words to be put together for the enlightenment of the generation. Part 9. His duties at Banjo Crossing were not violent, and hour after hour in his quiet chamber at the residence of the widow Clark, he gave himself trustingly to scholarship. He continued his theological studies. He read all the sermons by Beecher, Brooks, and Chapman. He read three chapters of the Bible daily, and he got clear through the letter G in the Bible dictionary.

Starting point is 13:04:25 Especially, he studied the Methodist discipline. In preparation for his appearance before the annual conference board of examiners, as a candidate for full conference membership, full ministerhood. The discipline, which is a combination of Methodist prayer book and bylaws, was not always exciting. Elmer felt a lack of sermon material and spiritual quickening in the paragraph, the concurrent recommendation of two-thirds of all the members of the several annual conferences present and voting, and of two-thirds of all the members of the members,

Starting point is 13:05:07 of the lay electoral conferences present and voting, shall suffice to authorize the next ensuing general conference by a two-thirds vote to alter or amend any of the provisions of this Constitution, excepting Article 10, paragraph 1. And also, whenever such alteration or amendment shall have been first recommended by a general conference by two-thirds vote, then so soon as two-thirds of,

Starting point is 13:05:37 of all the members of the several annual conferences present in voting, and two-thirds of all the members of the lay electoral conferences present in voting shall have concurred therein. Such alteration or amendment shall take effect, and the result of the vote shall be announced by the general superintendents. He liked better from the articles of religion in the discipline, the offering of Christ once made is that perfect redemption, propitiation, and satisfaction for all the sins of the whole world,

Starting point is 13:06:15 both original and actual. And there is none other satisfaction for sin, but that alone. Wherefore, the sacrifice of masses in which it is commonly said that the priest doth offer Christ for the quick and the dead, to have remission of pain or guilt, is a blaspherson. FAMOUS Fable and Dangerous Deceit. He wasn't altogether certain what it meant, but it had such a fine, uplifting role. Blasphemous fable and dangerous deceit. Fine. He informed his edified congregation the next Sunday that the infallibility of the Pope was

Starting point is 13:07:00 a blasphemous fable and a dangerous deceit, and they almost jumped. he had much edification from these rules for a preacher's conduct in the discipline be serious let your motto be holiness to the lord avoid all lightness jesting and foolish talking converse sparingly and conduct yourself prudently with women tell everyone under your care what you think wrong in his conduct and temper and that lovingly and plainly, as soon as may be, else it will fester in your heart. As a general method of employing our time, we advise you, one, as often as possible, to rise at four, two, from four to five in the morning, and from five to six in the evening to meditate, pray, and read the scriptures with notes. Extirpate out of our church buying or selling goods, which have not

Starting point is 13:08:06 paid the duty laid upon them by government, extirpate bribery receiving anything directly or indirectly for voting at any election. Elmer became a model in all these departments, except perhaps avoiding lightness and jesting, conducting himself in complete prudence with women, telling everyone under his care what he thought wrong with him, that would have taken all his spare time, arising at four and extirpating sellers of smuggled goods. For his grades, to be examined by the annual conference, he wrote to Dean Prosper at Mitzpah.

Starting point is 13:08:53 He explained to the dean that he had seen a great new light, that he had worked with Sister Falconer, but that it had been the early influences of Dean Prosper, which, working somewhat slowly, had led him to his present perfection. He received the grades with a letter in which the dean observed, quote, I hope you will not overwork your new zeal for righteousness.

Starting point is 13:09:22 It might be hard on folks. I seem to recall a tendency in you to overdo a lot of things. a Baptist, let me congratulate the Methodist on having you. If you really do mean all you say about your present state of grace, well, don't let that keep you from going right on praying. There may still be virtues for you to acquire. Close quote. Well, by God, rage the misjudged saint, and oh, rats, that's the odds. Got the credentials. anyway, and he says I can get my B.D. by passing an examination. Trouble with old Trosper is he's one of those smart aleks to hell with him.

Starting point is 13:10:14 Part 10. Along with his theological and ecclesiastical researches, Elmer applied himself to more worldly literature. He borrowed books from Cleo and from the tiny village library, housed in the public school, and on his occasional trips to Sparta, the nearest sizable city. He even bought a volume or two when he could find good editions secondhand. He began with Browning. He had heard a lot about Browning. He had heard that he was a stylish poet and an inspiring thinker, but personally he did not find that he cared so much for Browning. There were so many lines that he had to read three or four times before they made sense,

Starting point is 13:11:02 and there was so much stuff about Italy in all those WAP countries. But Bronning did give him a number of new words for the notebook of polysyllables and phrases which he was to keep for years, and which was to secrete material for some of his most rotund public utterances. There has been preserved a page from it.

Starting point is 13:11:29 incinerate burn up Merovingian French tribe about AD 500 Remark Golgatha was seen of crucifixion Lay Hunt

Starting point is 13:11:47 Poet 1840 No good Lapin blue A flower Defeasance Making Knicks Chanson pronounced Shandong, French kind of song.

Starting point is 13:12:04 Remark, man worthwhile is a man who can smile when everything goes dead wrong. Sermon on man says that other planets inhabited, nicks, because Bible says zero of Christ trying to save them. Tennyson. Elmer found more elevating than Browning. He liked maud. She resembled Cleo, only not so friendly, and he delighted in the homicides and morality of idols of the king. He tried Fitzgerald's Omar, which had been recommended by his literary set at Terwilliger,

Starting point is 13:12:44 and he made a discovery which he thought of communicating through the press. He had heard it said that Omar was non-religious. But when he read, myself when young did eagerly frequent doctor and saint and heard great argument about it and about but evermore came out by the same door wherein I went

Starting point is 13:13:13 he perceived that in this quatrain Omar obviously meant that though teachers might do a full lot of arguing Omar himself stuck to his beliefs in Jesus In Dickens, Elmer had a revelation. He had not known that any literature published previous to the Saturday evening post could be so thrilling. He did not care so much for the humor. It seemed to him that Mr. Dickens was vulgar and almost immoral

Starting point is 13:13:47 when he got Pickwick drunk and caused Mantellini to contemplate suicide, but he loved the sentiment. When Paul Dombie died, Elmer could have wept. When Miss Nickleby protected her virtue against Sir Mulberry Hawk, Elmer would have liked to have been there, both as a parson and as an athlete, to save her from that accursed society man, so typical of his class in debauching youth and innocence. Yes, sir, you bet.

Starting point is 13:14:23 That's great, state. Duff, exalted Elmer. There is a writer that goes right down to the depths of human nature. Great stuff. I'll preach on him when I get these Hicks educated up to literary sermons. But his artistic pursuits could not be all play. He had to master philosophy as well. And he plunged into Carlisle and Albert Hubbard.

Starting point is 13:14:52 He terminated the first plunge, very icy, with haste. But in the biographies by Mr. Hubbard, at that time dominating America, Elmer found inspiration. He learned that Rockefeller had not come to be head of standard oil by chance, but by labor, genius, and early Baptist training. He learned that there are sermons in stones, edification in farmers, beatitude in bankers, and style in adjectives. Elmer, who had always lived as publicly as a sparrow, could not endure keeping his literary treasures to himself. But for once, Cleo Benham was not an adequate mate. He felt that she had read more of such bell letters as the message to Garcia than even himself.

Starting point is 13:15:49 So his companion in artistic adventure was Clyde Tippy, the reverend. Clyde Tippy, pastor of the United Brethren Church of Banjo Crossing. Clyde was not like Elmer educated. He had left high school after his second year, and since then he had only had one year in a United Brethren seminary. Elmer didn't think much, he decided, of all this associating with fellowshiping with a lot of rival preachers. It was his job, wasn't it, to get their parishioners away from them?

Starting point is 13:16:30 But it was an ecstasy to have for once a cleric to whom he could talk down. He called frequently on the Reverend Mr. Tippy, which, at the age of 26, Clyde occupied with his fat wife and four children. Mr. Tippy had pale blue eyes, and he wore a fourteen and a half collar, encircling a 13 neck. Clyde, Crowed Elmer, if you're going to reach the greatest number and not merely satisfy their spiritual needs, but give them a rich, full, joyous life, you've got to explain great literature to them.

Starting point is 13:17:14 Yes, maybe that's right. Haven't had time to read much, but I guess there's a lot of fine lessons to be learned out of literature, said the Reverend Mr. Tippy. Is there, say, listen to this from Longfellow, the poet. Life is real, life is earnest, and the grave is not its goal. And this, just get the dandy swing to it. Lives of great men all remind us we can make our lives sublime, and departing leave behind us,

Starting point is 13:17:50 footprints in the sands of time. I read that way back in school, reader, but I never had anybody to show me what it meant, like I'm going to do with my congregation. Just think. The grave is not its goal. Why say, Longfellow is just as much of a preacher as you or I are, eh? Yes, I guess so.

Starting point is 13:18:19 I'll have to read some of his poetry, Could you lend me the book? You bet I will, Clyde. Be a fine thing for you. A young preacher like you has got to remember, if you'll allow an older hand to say so, that our education isn't finished when we start preaching. We've got to go on enlarging our mental horizons.

Starting point is 13:18:43 See how I mean? Now I'm going to start you off reading David Copperfield. Say, that's full of fine passages. There is this scene where This David, he had an aunt that everybody thought she was simply an old crab. But the poor little fellow,

Starting point is 13:19:01 his father-in-law, I hope it won't shock you to hear a preacher say it, but he was an old son of a gun. That's what he was. And he treated David horribly, simply horribly, and David ran away and found his aunt's house.

Starting point is 13:19:19 And then it proved She was fine and dandy to him. Say, it'll just make the tears come to your eyes. The place where he finds her house, and she don't recognize him, and he tells her who he is, and then she kneels right down beside him and shows them how none of us are justified in thinking other folks are mean just because we don't understand them. You bet.

Starting point is 13:19:47 Yes, sir. David Copperfield, you should. sure can't go wrong reading that book. David Copperfield, I've heard the name. It's mighty nice of you to come and tell me about a brother. Oh, that's nothing, nothing at all. Mighty glad to help you in any way I can, Clyde. Homer's success, as a literary and moral evangel to Mr. Clyde Tippy,

Starting point is 13:20:14 sent him back to his excavations with new fervor. He would lead the world not only to virtue, but to beauty. considering everything longfell seemed the best news to carry to the surprised and waiting world and elmer managed to get through many pages solemnly marking the passages which he was willing to sanction and in which did not mention wine ah nothing is too late till the tired world shall cease to palpitate cato learned greek at a d Sophocles wrote his grand Oedipus, and Simonides bore off the prize of verse from his compeers when each had numbered more than four score years. Elmer did not, perhaps, know very much about Simonides, but with these instructive lines, he was able to decorate a sermon in each of the pulpits he was henceforth to hold.

Starting point is 13:21:18 He worked his way with equal triumph through James Russell Lowell, Whittier, and Ella Wheeler Wilcox. He gave up Kipling because he found that he really enjoyed reading Kipling and concluded that he could not be a good poet. But he was magnificent in discovering Robert Burns. Then he collided with Josiah Royce. Part 11 Bishop Wesley Artumus had suggested to Elmer

Starting point is 13:21:55 that he ought to read philosophy and he had recommended Royce He himself, he said, hadn't been able to give so much time to Royce as he would have liked, but he knew that here was a splendid field for any intellectual adventurer. So Elmer came back from Sparta

Starting point is 13:22:15 with the two volumes of Royce's The World and the Individual, and two new detective stories. He would skip pleasantly but beneficially through Royce, then pick up whatever ideas he might find in all these other philosophers he had heard mentioned, James Conten-Berson, and who was that fellow with a funny name? Spinoza!

Starting point is 13:22:44 He opened the first of the first of his name, first volume of Royce confidently and drew back in horror. He had a nice, long, free afternoon in which to become wise, he labored on, he read each sentence six times, his mouth drooped pathetically. It did not seem fair that a Christian knight who is willing to give his time to listening to people's ideas should be treated like this. He sighed and read the first paragraph again. He sighed and the book dropped into his lap. He looked around.

Starting point is 13:23:27 On the stand beside him was one of the detective stories. He reached for it. It began as all proper detective stories should begin, with the tap broom of the cat and fiddle in, on a stormy night, when gusts of rain beat against a small ancient casement, but within all was bright and warm. The turkey red curtains shone in the firelight, and the burnished candles of the beer pump, an hour later.

Starting point is 13:24:00 Elmer had reached the place where the Scotland Yard inspector was attacked from the furze bush by the maniac. He excitedly crossed his legs, and Royce fell to the fire, floor and lay there. But he kept at it. In less than three months, he had reached page 51 of the first volume of Royce, then he bogged down in a footnote. Start of footnote. The scholastic textbooks, namely as for instance the disputations of Suarez, employ our terms much as follows. Being ends, taken quite in the abstract, such writers said is a word that you will equally apply both to the what and to the that.

Starting point is 13:24:56 Thus if I speak of the being of a man, I may, according to this usage, mean either the ideal nature of a man, apart from man's existence, or the existence of a man. The term being is so far indifferent to both of the sharply sundered senses. In this sense, being may be viewed as of two sorts. As the what, it means the essence of things. Or the essay essensi. In this sense, by the being of a man, you mean simply the definition of what a man as an idea means.

Starting point is 13:25:37 as the that, being means the existent being or essay existenti. The essay existency of a man, or its existent being, would be what it would possess only if it existed. And so the scholastic writers in question always have to point out whether by the term ends or being, they in any particular passage are referring to the what or to the that, to the essay existenti or to the existenti. End of footnote. The Reverend Elmer Gantrey drew his breath, quietly closed the book and shouted,

Starting point is 13:26:20 Oh, shut up! He never again read any philosophy more abstruse than that of Wallace D. Wattles or Edward Bach. Part 12. He did not de-glect his not-degroose. very arduous duties. He went fishing, which gained him credit among the males. He procured a dog, also a sound manly thing to do. And though he occasionally kicked the dog in the country, he was clamorously affectionate with it in the town. He went up to Spartan now and then to buy

Starting point is 13:26:57 books, attend the movies, and sneak into theaters. And though he was tempted by other diversions even less approved by the Methodist discipline, he really did make an effort to keep from falling. By enthusiasm and brass, he raised most of the church debt and made agitation for a new carpet. He risked condemnation by having a coronet solo right in the church one Sunday evening. He kept himself from paying too much attention, except for Rodney. Licking Lee kissing her once or twice to the 14-year-old daughter of his landlady. He was, in fact, full of good works and clerical exemplariness. But the focus of his life now was Cleo Benham.

Starting point is 13:27:55 End of Section 25, Chapter 20. Section 26 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. This is a Libre Vox recording. All Libravox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Librevox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 26, Chapter 21, Part 1 With women, Elmer had always considered himself what he called a quick worker.

Starting point is 13:28:34 But the properties of the ministry, the delighted suspicion with which the gossips watched a preacher who went courting, hindered his progress with Cleo. He could not, like the young blades in town, walk with Cleo up the railroad tracks or through the willow-shaded pasture by Banjo River. He could hear ten thousand Methodist elders croaking, Avoid the very appearance of evil.

Starting point is 13:29:02 He knew that she was in love with him, had been, ever since she had foreseen him, a devout yet manly leader standing by the pulpit in the late light of summer afternoon. He was certain that she would surrender to him whenever he should demand it. He was certain that she had every desirable quality, and yet, Oh, somehow, she did not stir him. Was he afraid of being married and settled with monogamic? was a symbol that she needed awakening.

Starting point is 13:29:41 How could he awaken her when her father was always in the way? Whenever he called on her, old Benham insisted on staying in the parlor. He was, strictly outside of business hours, an amateur of religion, fond of talking about it, just as Elmer, shielded by the piano, was always ready to press Cleo's hand. Benham would lumber up and twang. Why do you think, brother, do you believe salvation comes by faith or works? Elmer made it all clear, muttering to himself, Well, you old devil, with that cutthroat store of yours,

Starting point is 13:30:21 you better get into heaven on faith, for God knows you'll never do it on works. And when Elmer was about to slip out to the kitchen with her to make lemonade, Benham held him by demanding, what do you think of John Wesley's doctrine of perfection? Oh, it's absolutely sound and proven, admitted Elmer, wondering what the devil Mr. Wesley's doctrine of perfection might be. It is impossible that the presence of the elder Benham's preventing too close a communication with Gleel

Starting point is 13:30:58 kept Elmer from understanding what it meant that he should not greatly have long to embrace her. He translated his lack of urgency into virtue, and went about assuring himself that he was indeed a reformed and perfected caricature. And so went home and hung about the kitchen, chattering with a little Jane Clark in pastoral jokiness. Even when he was alone with Creel,

Starting point is 13:31:27 when she drove him in the proud Benamotor for calls in the country, even while he was volubly telling himself how handsome she was he was never quite natural with her part two he called on an evening of late november and both her parents were out attending eastern star She looked dreary and red-eyed. He crowed benevolently while he stood at the parlor door. Why, Sister Cleo? What's the matter? You look kind of sad. Oh, it's nothing.

Starting point is 13:32:06 Come on now, tell me. I'll pray for you or beat somebody up, whichever you prefer. Oh, I don't think you ought to joke about. Anyway, it's really nothing. She was staring at the floor. He felt buoyant and dominating so delightfully stronger than she. He lifted her chin with his forefinger, demanding, Look up at me now.

Starting point is 13:32:33 In her naked eyes there was such a shameful, shameless longing for him that he was drawn. He could not but slip his arm around her, and she dropped her head on his shoulder, weeping. All her pride gone from her. now. He was so exalted by the realization of his own power that he took it for passion, and suddenly

Starting point is 13:32:56 he was kissing her, unconscious of the pale fineness of her skin, her flattering, yielding to him. Suddenly he was blurting, I've loved you, oh, terrible, ever since the first second I saw you. As she sat on his knee,

Starting point is 13:33:14 as she drooped against him unresisting, he was certain, that she was very beautiful, altogether desirable. The Benham's came home. Mrs. Benham to cry happily over the engagement, and Mr. Benham to indulge in a deal of cordial back-slapping, and such jests as, Well, my God, now I'm going to have a real live preacher in the family.

Starting point is 13:33:40 I guess I'll have to be so doggone honest that the store won't hardly pay. Part 3. His mother came on from Kansas for the wedding in January. Her happiness in seeing him in his pulpit, in seeing the beauty and purity of Cleo's father, was such that she forgot her long-dragging sorrow in his many disloyalties to the God she had given him, in his having deserted the Baptist sanctuary,

Starting point is 13:34:12 for the dubious the almost agnostic liberalisms of the Methodists. With his mother present, with Cleo going about roused to a rosy excitement, with Mrs. Benham mothering everybody and frantically cooking, with Mr. Benham taking him out to the back porch and presenting him with a check for $5,000, Elmer had the feeling of possessing a family, of being rooted and solid and secure. For the wedding there were scores of coconut cakes, and hundreds of orange blossoms, roses from a real city florist in Sparta,

Starting point is 13:34:53 new photographs for the family album, a tub of strictly temperance punch, and beautiful but modest lingerie for Cleo. It was tremendous. But Elman was a little saddened by the fact that there was no one whom he wanted for best man, no one who had been his friend since Jim Lefferts. He asked Ray Fawcett,

Starting point is 13:35:17 buttermaker at the creamery, and choir-singer in the church, and the village was flattered that out of the hundreds of intimates Elmer must have had in the great world outside, he should have chosen one of their own boys. They were married during a half-blizzard by the district superintendent. They took the train for Zenith to stop overnight on their way to Chicago. Not till he was on the train, the shouting in the rice showers, over, did Elmer gasped to himself, looking at Cleo's rather unchanging smile, Oh, good God, I've gone and tied myself up, and I never can have any fun again.

Starting point is 13:36:03 But he was very manly, gentlemanly, in fact, he concealed his distaste for her and entertained her with an account of the beauties of Longfellow. Part 4 Cleo looked tired, and toward the end of the journey in the winter evening, with the gale desolate, scarce to be listening to his observations on graded Sunday school lessons, the treatment of corns, his triumphs at Sister Falconer's meetings, and the inferiority of the Reverend Clyde Teppery. "'Well, you might pay a little attention to me anyway,' he snarled.

Starting point is 13:36:43 "'Oh, I'm sorry. I really was paying attention. I'm just tired. All the preparation for the wedding and everything. She looked at him, she said,ingly. Oh, Elmer, you must take care of me. I'm giving myself to you entirely.

Starting point is 13:36:59 Oh, completely. Huh? So you look at it as a sacrifice to marry me, do you? Oh, no. I didn't mean it that way. And I suppose you think I don't intend to take care of you? sure probably i'll stay out late at night and play cards and gamble and drink and run around after women of course i'm not a minister of the gospel i'm a saloon keeper oh dear dear dear oh my dearest i didn't mean to hurt you i just meant you are so strong and big and i'm oh of course i'm not a tiny little thing but i haven't got your strength

Starting point is 13:37:43 he enjoyed feeling injured but he was warning himself shut up you chump you'll never educate her to make love if you go bawling her out he magnanimously comforted oh i know of course you poor dear fool thing anyway your mother having this big wedding and all the eats and the relatives coming in and everything and with all this she still seemed distressed. But he patted her hand, and talked about the caddies they were going to furnish in Banjo crossing, and as he thought of the approaching zenith of their room at the O'Hern house, there was no necessity for a wool sweet as formerly, when he had had to impress the prosperity pupils,

Starting point is 13:38:36 he became more ardent, whispered to her, that she was beautiful, stroked her arm till she trembled. Part 5 The bell-boy had scarcely closed the door to room with its double bed, when he had seized her, torn off her overcoat with its snow-wet collar, and hurled it on the floor. He kissed her throat. When he had loosened his class, she retreated,

Starting point is 13:39:05 the back of her hand fearfully at her lips, her voice terrified as she begged, "'Oh, don't. Not now. I'm afraid.' "'That's damned a nonsense,' he raged, stalking her as she backed away. "'Oh, no, please!' "'Say what the devil do you think marriage is!' "'Oh, I've never heard you curse before.' "'My God, I wouldn't. If you didn't act so's it'd try the patience of a saint on a monument.'

Starting point is 13:39:34 He controlled himself. "'Now, no, now, I'm sorry. guess I'm kind of tired, too. There, there, little girl, didn't mean to scare you. Excuse me. Just showed I was crazy in love with you, don't you see? To his broad and apostolic smirk, she responded with a weak smile, and he sees her again, laid his thick hand on her breast.

Starting point is 13:40:02 Between his long embraces, though his anger at her limpness was growing, He sought to encourage her by shouting, Come on now, Cree, show some spunk. She did not forbid him again. She was merely a pale acquiescent, pale, save when she flushed happily as he made fun of the old-fashioned long-sleeved nightgown, which she timidly put on in the indifferent privacy of the bathroom.

Starting point is 13:40:33 Gee, you might as well wear a gunny sack, he roared, holding out his arms. She tried to look confident as she slowly moved toward him, and she did not succeed. "'Fella ought to be brutal for her own sake,' he told himself, and seized her shoulders. When he awoke beside her and found her crying, he really did have to speak up to her.

Starting point is 13:40:59 "'You look here now. The fact you're a preacher's wife doesn't keep you from being human. You're a fine one to teach brats in Sunday school, he said, and many other strong-spirited things. While she wept, her hair disordered around her meek face, which he hated. Part 6 The discovery that Cleo would never be a lively lover threw him the more into ambition when they had returned to Banjo crossing. Cleo, though she was unceasingly bewildered by him.

Starting point is 13:41:35 his furies, found something of happiness in furnishing their small house, arranging his books, admiring his pulpit eloquence, and in receiving, as the pastor's wife, homage even from her old friends. He was able to forget her, and all his thought went to his holy climbing. He was eager for the annual conference in the spring. He had to get on to a larger town, a larger church. He was bored by Banjo. crossing. The life of a small-town preacher, prevented from engaging even in the bucolic pleasures, is rather duller than that of a watchman at a railroad crossing.

Starting point is 13:42:19 Elmer hadn't actually enough to do. Though later in institutional churches, he was to be as hustling as any other businessman, now he had not over twenty hours a week of real activity. There were four meetings every Sunday if he attended Sunday school and the airport at the league as well as church. There was church meeting on Wednesday evening, choir practice on Friday, and the ladies' aid in the missionary society every fortnight or so, and perhaps once a fortnight a wedding, a funeral. Pestral calls took not over six hours a week,

Starting point is 13:42:59 with the aid of his reference books he could prepare his two sermons and five hours and on weeks when he felt lazy, or the fishing was good, that was three hours more than he actually took. In the austerities of the library, Elmer was indolent. But he did like to rush about, meet people, make his show of accomplishment. It wasn't possible to accomplish much in banjo. The good villagers were content with his Sunday and Wednesday meeting piety. but he did begin to write advertisements for his weekly services,

Starting point is 13:43:39 the inception of that salesmanship of salvation, which was to make him known and respected in every advertising club and forward-looking church in the country. The readers have notices to the effect that services would be held as usual in the Banjo Valley Pioneer or startled too fine among the Presbyterian Church, the Disciples Church, the United Brethren Church, the Baptist Church, this advertisement. Wake up, Mr. Devil. If old Satan were as lazy as some would-be Christians in this berg, we'd all be safe.

Starting point is 13:44:14 But he isn't. Come out next Sunday, 10.30 a.m. and hear a red-blooded sermon by Reverend Gantry on, Would Jesus play poker? At the M.E. Church. He improved his typewriting, and that was a fine thing to do. The Reverend Elmer Gantry's powerful nature had been cramped by the slow use of a pen. It needed the gallop of the keys, and from his typewriter were increasingly to come floods of new moral and social gospers. In February, he held two weeks of intensive evangelistic meetings. He had in a traveling missionary,

Starting point is 13:44:57 who wept, and his wife who sang, Neither of them, Elmer chuckled privately, could compare with himself, who had worked with the Sharon Falken. But they were now new to Banjo Crossing, and he saw to it that it was himself, who at the climax of hysteria charged down into the frightened mob and warned them that, unless they came up and knelt in subjection

Starting point is 13:45:23 they might be snatched to hell before breakfast, There were 12 additions to the church and five renewals of faith on the part of backsliders, and Elmer was able to have published in the Western Christian Advocate a note which carried his credit through all the circles of the saints. The church at Banjo Crossing has had a remarkable and stirring revival under Brother T.R. Feasels and sister Feasels, the singing evangelist, assisted by the local pastor Reverend Gantrey, who was himself formerly in evangelistic work as assistant to the late Sharon Fulton. A great outpouring of the spirit and far-reaching results were announced,

Starting point is 13:46:10 with many united with the church. He also, after letting his town know how much it added to his burdens, revived and every week for two weeks personally supervised a junior epith league, the juvenile department of that admirable association of young people whose purpose is it has itself announced to take the wreck out of recreation and make it re-creation he had a note from bishop tumus hinting that the bishop had most ratifying reports from the district superintendent about elmer's diligent and genuinely created efforts and hinting that at the coming annual conference elmer would be shifted to a considerably larger church. Fine, glowed Elmer. Gosh, I'll be glad to get away.

Starting point is 13:47:02 These roos here get as much out of high-class religion, like I give them, as a fleet of mules. Part 7 Ishuah Rogers was dead, and they were holding his funeral at the Methodist Church. As farmer, as storekeeper, as postmaster, he had lived all his 79 years, in banjo crossing old j f whittlesey was shaken by ishuah's death they had been boys together young men together neighbors on the farm and in his last years when ishua was nearly blind and living with his daughter j

Starting point is 13:47:40 j f whittlesey had come into town every day to spend hours sitting with him on the porch wrangling over blaine and over cleveland whittlesy hadn't another friend left alive to drive past jenny's now and not see old friend issua made the world empty he was in the front row at the church he could see his friend's face in the open coffin all of ishuah's meanness and fussiness and care was wiped out there was only the dumb nobility with which he had faced blizzard in august heat labor and sorrow only the heroic thing would have loved in him and he would not see issua again ever he listened to elmer who his eyes almost filled at the drama of a church full of people mourning their old friend lolled them with revelation's triumphant song these are they that come out of the great tribulation and they wash their robes and made them fly in the blood of the land. Therefore are they before the throne of God, and they serve him day and night in his temple,

Starting point is 13:48:59 and he that sitteth on the throne shall spread his tabernacle over them. They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more, neither shall the sun strike upon them nor any he. For the lamb that is in the midst of the throne shall be their shepherd, and shall guide them unto fountains of waters of life, and God shall wipe away every tear from their eyes. They sang, O God, our help in ages past, and Elmer led the singing while old Whittlesey tried to pipe up with them.

Starting point is 13:49:34 They filed past the coffin. When Friddlesy had his last moment's glimpse of Ischua's sunken face, his dry eyes were blind, and he staggered. Elmer caught him with his great, arms and whispered. He has gone to his salvation, to his great reward. Don't less sorrow for them. In Elmer's confident strength, old Whittlesey found reassurance.

Starting point is 13:50:06 He clung to him muttering, God bless you, brother, before he hobbled out. Part 8. You were wonderful at the funeral today. I've never seen you so sure of immortality. worshiped Cleo as they walked on. Yeah, but they didn't appreciate it, not even when I said about how this old fella was a sure enough hero.

Starting point is 13:50:34 We got to get on to some burg where I'll have a chance. Don't you think gods in Banjo crossing as much as in a city? Oh, now, Cleo, don't go and get religious on me. He simply can't understand how it takes it out of her fella to do a funeral rite and send them all home solace. Let me find God here, but you don't find the salaries. He was not angry with Cleo now, nor bullying. In these two months he had become indifferent to her,

Starting point is 13:51:08 indifferent enough to stop hating her and to admire her conduct of the Sunday school, her tactful handling of the good sisters of the church when they came snooping to the parsonage. I think I'll take a little walk, he muttered, when they reached home. He came to the widow Clark's house, where he had lived as bachelor. Jane was out in the yard, the march breeze molding her shirt about her, rosy face darker and eyes more soft as she saw the pastor hailing her, magnificently raising his head. She fluttered toward him.

Starting point is 13:51:49 "'You folks ever miss me? I guess you're glad to get rid of the old preacher that was always cluttering up the house. "'Well, we miss you awfully,' he felt his whole body yearning toward her. Hurriedly he left her and wished he hadn't left her, and hastened to get himself far from the danger to his respectability. He hated Cleo again now, in an injured puzzled way. I think I'll sneak up to Sparta this week, he fumed. Then, no, conference coming in ten days

Starting point is 13:52:27 can't take any chances till after that. Part 9 The annual conference held in Sparta late in March The high time of the year when the Methodist preachers of half a dozen districts were together for prayer and rejoicing, to hear the progress of the kingdom, and incidentally to learn whether

Starting point is 13:52:50 they were to have better jobs this coming year. The bishop presiding, Wesley R. Tumis, himself, with his district superintendent's grave and bustling. The preachers trying to look as though prospective higher salaries were unworthy of their attention. Between meetings, they milled about in the large auditorium of the Preston Memorial Methodist Church, visiting laymen and nearly 300 ministers.

Starting point is 13:53:20 veteran county parsons was scared and bespectacled rusty-coated and stute still serving two county churches or three or four driving their fifty miles a week content for reading with the scriptures and the weekly advocate new-fledged country preachers their large hands still calloused from plough-handle and reins content for learning with two years of high school content with the old testament for history and geology the preachers of the larger towns most of them are to recognize as clerics in their neat business suits and modest foreign hands frightfully cordial one to another perhaps a quarter of them known as modernists and given to reading popular manuals of biology and psychology the other three-quarters still devoted to banging the pulpit apropos of genesis but moving through these masses easily noticeable the inevitable successes the district superintendents the pastors of large city congregations the conceivable candidates for college presidencies mission boards boards of publication bishops they were not all of them leonine an actor like these staff officers no few were gaunt or small wiry spectacle and arthur that they were all admirable politicians, long in memory of names, quick to find flattering answers.

Starting point is 13:55:01 They believed that the Lord rules everything, but that it was only friendly to help him out, and that the enrollment of political allies helped almost as much as prayer, in becoming known as suitable material for lucrative pasturates. Among these leaders were the seven erolas. gloomy fellows viewing the progress of machine civilization with viliousness capable of drawing thousands of auditors by their spicy but chaste denunciations of burglary dancing and show windows filled with lingerie then did the renowned liberals creatures who filled city tabernacles of churches in university towns by showing that skipping whatever seemed to be unreasonable in the Bible did not interfere with considering it all divinely inspired, and that there are large moral lessons in the paintings of Lancier and Rosa Bonner.

Starting point is 13:56:05 Most notable among the aristocrats were a certain number of large, suave, deep-voiced, inescapably cordial clerical gentlemen, who would have looked well in Shakespearean productions or as floor-walkers, and with them was presently to be. found the Reverend Elmer Gantry. He was a newcomer. He was merely hoping to have the conference who recognized his credentials and accept him as a member, and he had only a tiny church. Yet from somewhere crept of the rumor that he was a man to be watched, to be enrolled in

Starting point is 13:56:43 one's own political machine, and he was called brother by a pastor whose sacred reading was said to be not less than ten thousand a year. They observed him, they conversed with him, not only on the sacraments but on automobiles, and the use of pledge envelopes, and as they felt the warmth of his handshake, as they heard the amial bim-bum of his voice, saw his manly eyes, uncroubled by doubts or scruples, and noted that he wore his morning clothes as well as any spiritual magnate among them. They greeted him, and sought him out and recognized him, recognized him as a future captain of the hosts of the Almighty.

Starting point is 13:57:27 Cleo's graciousness added to his prestige. For three whole days before bringing her up to the conference, Elmore had gone out of his way to soothe him. Flatter her and assure her that whatever misunderstandings they might have had, all was now a warm snugness of domestic bliss, so that she was eager, gently differential to the wise, of older pastors as she met them at receptions at hotels. Her obvious admiration of Elmer convinced the better clerical politicians of his domestic

Starting point is 13:58:05 safeness. And they knew that he had been sent for by the bishop. Oh, they knew it. Nothing that the bishop did in these critical days was not known. There were many among the middle-aged ministers who had become worried over prolonged stays in small towns, and who wanted to whisper to the bishop how well they would suit larger opportunities. The list of appointments had already been made out by the bishop in Wisconsin, yet surely it

Starting point is 13:58:34 could be changed a little, just a least a little bit, but they could not get near him. Most of the time the bishop was hidden away from them at the house of the president of the Winniac Wesleyan University. but he sent for Elmer, and even called him by his first name. "'You see, Elmer? I was right. The Methodist church just suits you,' and said the bishop, his eyes bright under his formidable brows, and I am to give you a larger church already. It wouldn't be cricket as the English say. Ha, ha, England! How you will enjoy going there sometime! You will find such a fruit,

Starting point is 13:59:18 source of the broadest type of sermons in travel, I know that you and your lovely bride I've had the pleasure of having appointed out to me, you will both know the joy and romance of travel one of these days. But as I was saying, I can give you a rather larger town this time, though it wouldn't be proper to tell you which one to read out the list of appointments to the conference. and in the near future, if you continue as you have in your studies and attention to the needs of your flot and in your excellence of daily living, which the district superintendent has noted, why, you'll be due for a much larger field of service. God bless you. Part 10 Elmer was examined by the conference and readily admitted to membership.

Starting point is 14:00:13 Among the questions from the discipline which he was able to answer with a hearty yes were these. Are you going on to perfection? Do you expect to be made perfect in love in this life? Are you earnestly striving after it? Are you resolved to devote yourself fully to God and His work? Have you considered the rules for a preacher, especially those relating to diligence,

Starting point is 14:00:39 to punctuality and to doing the work to which you are assigned? will you recommend fasting or diligence both by precept and example it was the conference member said one to another a pleasure to examine a candidate who could answer the questions with such ringing certainty celebrating his renunciations of all fleshy devices and pleasures by wolfing a steak fried onions fried potatoes born three cups of coffee and two slices of apple-pie with ice-cream elmer condescended to cleo i went through a whooping like to see any of the other boobes i was with in the seminary answer up like i did part eleven they listened to reports on collections for missions, on the creation of new schools and churches, they heard ever so many prayers. They were polite during what were known as inspirational addresses by the bishop and their Reverend Dr. S. Palmer shoots, but they were waiting for the moment when the bishop would read the

Starting point is 14:01:48 list of appointments. They looked as blank as they could, but their nails creased their palms as the bishop rose. They tried to be loyal to their army, but this lean person thought of the boy who was going to college. This worried, Phil Youngster thought of the operation for his wife. This aged campaigner, whose voice had been failing, wondered whether he would be kept on in his will-padded church. The bishop's snappy voice popped. Sparta District I'll be center.

Starting point is 14:02:27 Evans, Ardmore, Abraham Mundun, and Elmer listened with them, suddenly terrified. What did the bishop mean by a rather larger town? Some horrible hole with twelve hundred people? Then he startled and glowed, and his fellow priest nodded to him in congratulation, as the bishop read out Rudd-center, Elmer Gantor. for there were 4,900 people in Rudd Center. It was noted for good news and a large pop factory, and he was on his way to greatness,

Starting point is 14:03:08 to inspiring the world and becoming a bishop. End of Section 26, Chapter 21. Section 27 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. This is a Libervox recording. All Libervox recordings are in the public domain, For more information or to volunteer, please visit Libravox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 27

Starting point is 14:03:44 Chapter 22, Part 1 A year he spent in Rudd Center, three years in Vulcan, and two years in Sparta, as there were 4,100 people in Rudd Center, 47,000 in Vulcan and 129,000 in Sparta, it may seem that the Reverend El Morgantry was climbing swiftly in Christian influence and character. In Rudd's center, he passed his mitzpah final examination

Starting point is 14:04:17 and received his Bachelor of Divinity degree from the seminary. In Rudd's center, he discovered the art of joining, which was later to enable him to meet the more enterprise, and solid men of affairs, oculists and editors and manufacturers of bathtubs, and enlist their practical genius in his crusades for spirituality.

Starting point is 14:04:42 He joined the Masons, the Odd Fellows, and the Maccabees. He made the Memorial Day address to the G.A.R. And he made the speech welcoming the local representative home from Congress after having won the poker championship at the house. vulcan was marked aside from his labour for perfection by the birth of his two children nat in nineteen sixteen and bernice whom they called bunny in nineteen seventeen and by his ceasing to educate his wife in his ideals of amour.

Starting point is 14:05:21 It all blew of a month after the birth of a bunny. Elmer had, that evening, been addressing the Rod and Gun Club dinner. He had pointed out that our Lord must have been in favor of rods and guns, for, he said, I want you boys to notice that the master, when he picked out his first disciples, didn't select a, couple of stoop-shouldered, pigeon-toed, mollycoddles, but a pair of first-class fishermen. He was excited to intoxication by their laughter. Since Bunny's birth, he had been sleeping in a guest room.

Starting point is 14:06:01 But now, walking airily, he tiptoed into Cleo's room at eleven, with that look of self-conscious innocence which passionless wives instantly catch and dread. "'Well, you sweet thing, it sure went off great. "'They all liked my spiel. "'Why, you poor lonely girl! "'Shame you have to sleep all alone here, poor baby!' "'He said, stroking her shoulder as she sat propped against the pillows. "'Guess I'll have to come sleep here to-night.'

Starting point is 14:06:35 "'She breathed hard, tries it to look resolute. "'Oh, please, not yet.' "'Part one. "'What do you mean?' "'Please, I'm tired tonight. Just kiss me good-night and let me pop off to sleep.' "'Meaning my attentions aren't welcome to your majesty?' He paced the floor.

Starting point is 14:07:01 Young woman, it's about time for a showdown. I've hinted at this before, but I've been as charitable and long-suffering as I could. But by God, you've gotten away with too much, And then you try to pretend, Just kiss me good night. Sure. I'm going to be a monk.

Starting point is 14:07:22 I'm going to be one of these milk-and-water husbands that's perfectly content to hang around the house and not give one little yip if his wife don't care for his method of hugging. Well, believe me, young woman, you got another guest coming. And if you think that just because I'm a preacher, I'm a willy boy,

Starting point is 14:07:44 You don't even make the slightest, smallest effort to learn some passion, but just act like you had hard work putting up with me. Believe me, there's other women a lot better and prettier yet, and more religious, that haven't thought I was such a damn pest to have around. I'm not going to stand. Never even making the slightest effort? "'Oh, Elmer, I have. Honestly, I have. If you'd only been more tender and patient with me at the very first, I might have learned.' "'Rats! All damned nonsense! Trouble with you is you always were afraid to face hard facts. "'Well, I'm sick of it, young woman. You can go to the devil. This is the last time. Believe me!' He banged the door.

Starting point is 14:08:42 he had satisfaction in hearing her sob that night, and he kept his vow about staying away from her for almost a month. Presently he was keeping it altogether. It was a settled thing that they had separate bedrooms, and all the while he was almost as confused, as wistful as she was, and whenever he found a woman perished in her who was willing to comfort him, or whenever he was called on him, important but never explained affairs to Sparta,

Starting point is 14:09:17 he had no bold swagger of satisfaction, but a guilt, and uneasiness of sin, which displayed itself in increasingly furious condemnation of the same sin from his pulpit. Oh God, if I could only have gone with Sharon, I might have been a decent fellow, he mourned. in his sorrow sympathetic with the world.

Starting point is 14:09:45 But the day after, in a sanctuary, he would be salving that sorrow by raging, and these dance-hall proprietors, these tempters of lovely, innocent girls whose doors open to the pit of death and horror, they shall have reward. They shall burn in uttermost hell-burn, literally. Burn!

Starting point is 14:10:08 And for their suffering, we shall have but joy. that the Lord's justice has been resolutely done. Part 2. Something like statewide fame began to cling about the Reverend Elmer Gantry during his two years in Sparta, 1918 to 1920. In the spring of 18, he was one of the most courageous defenders of the Midwest against the imminent invasions of the Germans. He was a four-minute man.

Starting point is 14:10:40 He said violent things about atrocities and sold liberty bonds hugely. He threatened to leave Sparta to his wickedness while he went out to take care of our poor boys as a chaplain, and he might have done so had the war lasted another year. In Sparta, too, he crept from timidly sensational church advertisements to such blasts as might have shaken the devil himself. anyway they brought six hundred delightful sinners to church every sunday evening and after one sermon on the horrors of booze a saloon-keeper slightly intoxicated remarked whoop and put a fifty-dollar bill on the plate to this day with all the advance in intellectual advertising has there been seen a more arousing effort to sell salvation than Elmer's prose poem in the Sparta World Chronicle on a Saturday in December

Starting point is 14:11:47 1919? Would you like your mother to go bathing without stockings? Do you believe in old-fashioned womanhood that can love and love and still be the symbols of God's own righteousness, bringing a tear to the eye as one remembers the brooding tenderness? Would you like to see your own dear mammy? indulging in mixed bathing or dancing what the hell's own fool monkeys shine, the one step? Reverend Elmer Gantry will answer these questions and others next Sunday morning. Gantry shoots straight from the shoulder.

Starting point is 14:12:30 Poplar Avenue Methodist Church follow the crowd to the beautiful times at the beautiful church with the beautiful chimes. Part 3. While he was in Sparta, National Prohibition arrived with its high-colored opportunities for pulpit orators, and in Sparta he was inspired to his greatest political campaign. The obviously respectable candidate for mayor of Sparta was a Christian businessman, a Presbyterian who was a manufacturer of rubber overshoes. It is true that he was accused of owning the buildings in which were several of the worst brothels and blind tigers in the city, but it had amply been explained that the unfortunate gentleman had not been able to kick out his tenants, and that he gave practically all his receipts from the property to missionary work in China. His opponent was a man in every way objectionable to Elmer's principles, a Jew, a radical who criticized the churches for not paying taxes,

Starting point is 14:13:48 a sensational and publicity-seeking lawyer who took to cases of labor unions and Negroes without fee. When he consulted them, Elmer's official board agreed that the Presbyterian was the only man to support. They pointed out that the trouble with the radical Jew was that he was not only a radical, but a Jew. Yet Elmer was not satisfied. He had possibly less objection to the houses of ill fame, then one would have judged from his pulpit utterances, and he certainly approved the Presbyterian's position that,

Starting point is 14:14:28 we must not try dangerous experiments in government, but adhere courageous, to the proven merits and economies of the present administration. But talking with members of his congregation, Elmer found that the plain people, and the plain, the very plain people, did make up much of a large percentage of his flock, hated the Presbyterian, and had a surprised admiration for the Jew.

Starting point is 14:15:02 He's awful kind to poor folks, said they. Elmer had what he called a hunch. All the swells are going to support this guy McGarry. But darned if I don't think the Yid'll win, and anybody that roots for him will stand ace high after the election he reasoned. He came out boisterously for the Jew.

Starting point is 14:15:30 The newspaper squealed, and the Presbyterians bellowed, and the rabbis softly chuckled. Not only from his pulpit, but in scattered halls, Elmer campaigned and thundered. He was smeared once with rotten eggs and a hall near the red light district, and once an illicit booze dealer tried to punch his nose.

Starting point is 14:15:53 But that was a very happy time for Elmer. The booze dealer. A bulwress, angry man climbed up on the stage of the hall and swayed toward Elmer, waving with his fists, rumbling, You damn lying gospel shark, I'll show you. The forgotten star of the Terwilliger team

Starting point is 14:16:16 leaped into life. He was calm as in a scrimmage. He strode over calculatingly regarded the point of the bootleger's jaw and caught him on it exact. He saw the man slumping down. But he did not stand looking. He swung back to the reading stand and went on speaking.

Starting point is 14:16:41 The whole audience rose, clamorous with applause, and Elmer Gantry had for a second time become the most famous man in town. The newspapers admitted that he was affecting the campaign, and one of them swung to his support. He was so strong on virtue and the purity of womanhood, and the evils of liquor that to oppose him was to admit one's self a debauchee. At the business meeting of his church, there was a stirring squabble over his activities. When the leading trustee, a friend of the Presbyterian candidate,

Starting point is 14:17:21 declared that he was going to resign unless Elmer stopped. And an aged janitor shriek. And all the rest of us will resign unless. the Reverend keeps it up. There was gleeful and unseemly applause, and Elmer beamed. The campaign grew so bellicose that reporters came up from the Zenith newspapers, one of them the renowned Bill Kingdom of the Zenith Advocate Times. Elmer loved reporters.

Starting point is 14:17:54 They quoted him on everything from the Bible and the schools to the Armenian mandate. He was careful not to call them boy. but gentlemen, not to slap them too often on the back. He kept excellent cigars for them, and he always said, I'm afraid I can't talk to you as a preacher. I get too much of that on Sunday. I'm just speaking as an ordinary citizen

Starting point is 14:18:20 who longs to have a clean city in which to bring up his kiddies. Bill Kingdom almost liked him, and the story about the crusading parson, which he sent up to the zenith advocate times, the thunder of the whole state of Winnemak was run on the third page with a photograph of Elmer thrusting out his fists as if to crush all the sensualists and malefactors in the world.

Starting point is 14:18:50 Sparta papers reprinted the story and spoke of it with reverence. The Jew won the campaign, and immediately after this six, months before the annual conference of 1920, Bishop Tumas sent for Elmer. Part 4 At first I was afraid, said the bishop, you were making a great mistake in soiling yourself in the Sparta campaign. After all, it's our mission to preach the pure gospel and the saving blood of Jesus

Starting point is 14:19:27 and not do monkey with politics. but you being so successful that I can forgive you, and the time has come. At the next conference, I shall be able to offer you at least a church here in Zenith, and a very large one, but with problems that call for heroic energy. It's the old well-spring church down here on Stanley Avenue, corner of Dodgerworth, in what we call Old Town. It used to be the most fashionable and useful Methodist church in town, but the section has run down,

Starting point is 14:20:05 and the membership has declined from something like 1400 to about 800, and under the present pastor, you know him, old Serrier, fine noble Christian gentleman, a great soul, but a pretty rotten speaker. I don't guess they have more than a hundred or so at morning service. Shame, Ilner. We could shame to see this great institution meant for the

Starting point is 14:20:35 quickening of such vast multitudes of souls declining, and by thunder, not hardly giving us sent, permission. I wonder if you could revive it. Go look at Ova, and the neighborhood, and let me know

Starting point is 14:20:51 what you think, or whether you'd rather stay in Sparta. You'll get less salary at Wellspring than you're getting in Sparta. Four thousand, isn't it? But if you would build up the church, guess the official board will properly remunery your labors. A church in Zenith.

Starting point is 14:21:11 Ilmer would almost have taken it with no salary whatsoever. He could see his doctor of divinity degree in hand, his bishopry or college presidency, or fabulous pulpit in New York. He found the well-spirited, M. E. Church, a hideous greystone hulk with gravy-colored windows, and a tall spire ornamented with ten gargoyles and arct layers of tiles in distressing red and green. The neighborhood had been smart, but the brick mansions, once leisurely among lawns and gardens, were scabrous

Starting point is 14:21:53 and slovenly, turned into boarding-houses with delicatessen shops in the basements. gosh this section never will come back too many of the doggone hoi-poloa bunch of whops nobody for ten blocks it would put more than ten cents in the collection nothing do it i'm not going to run a soup kitchen and tell a bunch of dirty bombs to come to jesus not on your line But he saw a block from the church a new apartment house, and near it an excavation. Hmm, might come back in apartments at that. Mustn't jump too quick. Besides, these folks need a gospel just as much as the swell-headed plutes out on Royal Ridge, reflected the Reverend Mr. Gantry.

Starting point is 14:22:49 Through his old acquaintance, Gil O'Hern, of the O'Hern House, Elmer met a responsible contractor and inquired into the fruitlessness of the Wellspring Vineyard. Yes, they're dead certain to build a bunch of apartment houses and pretty good ones in that neighborhood these next few years. Be a big residential boom in Old Town. It's near enough in to be handy to the business. section and far enough from the Union Station so they haven't got any warehouses or wholesairs. Goodbye, Reverend.

Starting point is 14:23:31 Oh, I'm not buying. I'm just selling, selling the gospel, said the Reverend, and he went to inform Bishop Tumis that after prayer and meditation, he had been led to accept the pastorate of the Wellspring Church. So, at 39, Caesar had come to Rome, and Rome heard about it immediately. End of Section 27, Chapter 22. Section 28 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. This is a Librevox recording. All Librevox recordings are in the public domain.

Starting point is 14:24:18 For more information or to volunteer, please visit Librevox.org. read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 28, Chapter 23, Part 1 through 3. Part 1 He did not stand by the altar now, uplifting in a vow, that he would be good and reverent. He was like the new general manager of a factory as he bustled for the first time through the Wellspring Methodist Church, Zenith, and his first comment was, The plants run down, have to bug it up.

Starting point is 14:24:59 He was accompanied on his inspection by his staff, Miss Bundle, Church Secretary and Personal Secretary to himself, a decayed and plaintive lady, distressingly free of seductiveness, Miss Weeziger, the deaconess, given to fat and good works, and A. F. Cherry, organist and musical director, engaged only on part-time. He was disappointed that the church could not give him a pastoral assistant or a director of religious education.

Starting point is 14:25:35 He did have them soon enough and bossed them. Great. He found an auditorium which would hold 1,600 people, but which was offensively gloomy in its streaky windows, its brown plaster walls, its cast-iron pillars. The rear wall of the chancel was painted a lugubrious blue, scattered with stars which had ceased to twinkle, and the pulpit was of dark oak, crowned with a foolish tasseled, faded green velvet cushion.

Starting point is 14:26:09 The whole auditorium was heavy and forbidding, the stretch of empty brown-grained pews stared at him dolorously. Certainly must have been a swell church of cheerful Christians that made this layout. I'll have a new church here in five years, with some pep to it, and gothic fixing an up-to-date educational and entertainment plant, reflected the new priest. The Sunday school rooms were spacious enough, but dingy, scattered with torn hymn books,

Starting point is 14:26:44 the kitchen in the basement for church suppers had a rusty ancient stove and piles of chipped dishes. Elmer's own study and office was airless and looked out on the flivered, colored yard of a garage, and Mrs. Cherry said the organ was rather more than wheezy. Oh, well,

Starting point is 14:27:08 Elmer conferred with himself afterward, what do I care? Anyway, there's plenty of room for the crowds, and believe me, I'm the boy can drag him in. God, what a frump that bundle woman is. One of these days I'll have a smart girl's secretary, a good-looker. Well, hooray, ready for the big work,

Starting point is 14:27:30 I'll show this town what high-class preaching is. Not for three days did he chance to think that Cleo might also like to see the church. Part 2. Though there were nearly 400,000 people in Zenith, and only 900 in Banjo Crossing, Elmer's reception in the Zenith Church basement was remarkably like his reception in the Banjo basement.

Starting point is 14:28:01 There were the same rugged, hard-handed brothers, the same ample sisters, renowned for making donuts, the same brisk little men given to giggling and pious jests. There were the same homemade ice cream in homemade oratory. But there were five times as many people as at the Badger reception, and Elmer was ever a lover of quantity. And among the transplanted rustics were several prosperous professional men, several well-gowned women and some pretty girls

Starting point is 14:28:36 who looked as though they went to a dancing school, discipline or not. He felt cheerful and loving toward them, his, as he pointed out to them, fellow crusaders marching on resolutely to the achievement of the kingdom of God on earth. It was easy to discover which of the members present from the official board of the church

Starting point is 14:29:02 were most worth his attentions. Mr. Ernest Opflemus, one of the stewards, was the owner of the Jim of the Ocean Pie and Cake Corporation. He looked like a puffy and bewildered urchin, suddenly blown up to vast size. He was very rich, Miss Bundle whispered, and he did not know how to spend his money except on his wife's diamonds, and the cause of the Lord. Elmer paid court to Mr. Afflemas and his wife, who spoke, quite a little English. Not so rich, but even more important Elmer guessed, was

Starting point is 14:29:40 T.J. Rigg, the famous criminal lawyer, a trustee of Wellspring Church. Mr. Rigg was small, deep wrinkles, with amused and knowing eyes. He would be, Elmer felt him suddenly a good man with whom

Starting point is 14:29:56 to drink. His wife's face was that of a girl, round and smooth and blue-eyed, though she was fifty and more, and the laughter was lively. Those are the folks I can shoot straight with, decided Elmer, and he kept near them. Reg hinted,

Starting point is 14:30:17 Say, Reverend, why don't shoe and your good lady come up to my house after this, and we can loosen up and have a good laugh and get over this sewing circle business? I'd certainly like to, as he spoke, Elmer was considering that if he was really to loosen up, he could not have cleo about only i'm afraid my wife has a headache poor girl we'll just send her along home and i'll come with you after shake her hands a few thousand more times exactly ilmer was edified to find that mr rig had a limousine with a chauffeur one of the few in which ilmer had yet written he did not like to have his christian brother well he looked but the sight of the limousine made him less chummy with the rigs's and more respectful and unctuous and when they had dropped cluel at the hotel

Starting point is 14:31:18 elmer leaned gracefully back on the velvet seat waved his large hand poetically and breathed such a welcome the dear people gave me i am so grateful what a real outpouring of the spirit Look here, sniffed rig. You don't have to be pious with us. Ma and I are a couple of old dragoons. We like religion, like the good old hymns, takes us back to the hick town we came from, and we believe religion is a fine thing to keep people in order. They think of higher things instead of all these strikes and big wages,

Starting point is 14:32:01 and the kind of hell-raising that's thrown the industrial system all out of kilter. And I like a fine, upstanding preacher that can give a good show. So I'm willing to be a trustee, but we ain't pious, and any time you want to let down, and I reckon there must be times

Starting point is 14:32:22 when a big cuss like you must get pretty sick of listening to the sniveling sisterhood. You just come to us, and if you want to smoke or even throw in a little jolt of liquor, as I've been known to do. Why, we'll understand. How about it, Ma?

Starting point is 14:32:41 You bet, said Mrs. Reg, and I'll go down to the kitchen if cook isn't there, and I'll fry you up a couple of eggs, and if you don't tell the rest of the brethren, there's always a couple of bottles of beer on the eyes. Like one? Would I, cheered Ellen? You bet I would.

Starting point is 14:33:01 Only I cut out drinking. and smoking quite a few years ago. Oh, I had my share before then, but I'd stop, absolute, and I'd hate to break my record. But you go right ahead, and I want to say that it'll be a mighty big relief

Starting point is 14:33:18 to have some folks in the church that I can talk to without shocking them after death. Some of these holier-than-thou birds, Lord, they won't let a preacher be a human being. The Riggs house was large, rather faded, full of books which had been read, history, biography, travels. The smaller sitting-room with its log fire and large padded chairs looked comfortable, but Mrs. Rigg shouted, oh, let's do go out to the kitchen and shake up a Welsh rabbit.

Starting point is 14:33:52 I love to cook, and I don't dash till after the servants go to bed. So his first conference was T.J. Rigg, who became a little bit, who became a little bit of, the only authentic friend Elmer had known since Jim Leffertz, was held at the shiny, white enamel top table in the huge kitchen, with Mrs. Rigg stalking about, bringing them Welsh rabbit with celery, cold chicken, whatever she found in the icebox. I want your advice, Brother Rigg, said Elmer. I want to make my first sermon here something sin, well, something that'll make them sit up and listen. I don't have to get the subject in for the church ads till tomorrow. Now, what do you think of some

Starting point is 14:34:39 pacifism? Eh? I know what you think. Of course, during the war, I was just as patriotic as anybody. Four-minute men, and in another month, I'd have been in uniform. But honest, some of the churches are getting a lot of kicked out of hollering pacifism. Now, the war is all safely over. some of the biggest preachers in the country. But far as I've heard, nobody started here in Zenith yet, and that might make a big sensation. Well, yes, that's so, and of course it's perfectly all right to adopt pacifism,

Starting point is 14:35:20 as long as there is no chance for another war. Or do you think, you know, the congregation here, do you think a more dignified, and the kind of you might say, poetic, expository sermon would impress him more? Well, what about a good, vigorous, right out from the shoulder attack on vice? You know, booze and immorality-like short skirts by golly,

Starting point is 14:35:49 girl skirts getting shorter every year? Now that's what I'd vote for, said Rig. That's what gets them, nothing like a good, juicy vice sermon to bring in the crowds, yes, sir. Fearless attack on all this drink and this awful sex immorality that's getting so prevalent. Mr. Rigg meditatively mixed a highball,

Starting point is 14:36:15 keeping up life because next morning in court he had to defend a lady accused of running a badger game. You bet. Some folks say sermons like that are just sensational, them. But I always tell them. Once the preacher gets the folks into the church that way, and might as you appreciate how hard it is to do a good vice sermon, show them enough, and yet not make it too dirty once you get in the folks, then you can give them some good, solid, old-time religion, and show them salvation, and teach him to observe the laws and do an honest day's work for an honest day's pay, instead of clock-watching.

Starting point is 14:36:57 like my doggone clerks do. Yep, if you ask me, try the vice. Oh, say, Ma, do you think the Reverend would be shocked by that story about the chambermaid and the traveling man that Mark was telling us? Elmer was not shocked. In fact, he had another droll tale to tell himself. He went home at one.

Starting point is 14:37:26 I'll have to have a good time with those folks. He reflected, in the luxury of a taxi cab, only better be careful with old rig. He's a shrewd bird, and he's onto me. Now, what do you mean, indeedly? What do you mean by onto me? There's nothing to be on to. I refuse to drink, and a cigar, didn't I? I never cuss except when I lose my temper, do I?

Starting point is 14:37:55 I'm leading in absolutely Christian life, and now I'm pretty much. bringing a while of a lot more souls into churches at any of these pussy-foot-int-tened saints that are afraid to laugh and jolly people. Unto me nothing. Part 3. On Saturday morning on the page of religious advertisements in the Zenith newspaper, Elmer's first sermon was announced in a two-column spread, is dealing with the promising problem.

Starting point is 14:38:27 can strangers find haunts of vice in zenith? Well, they could, and with gratifying ease, said Elmer in his sermon, he said it before at least four hundred people, as against the hundred, who had normally been attending. He himself was a stranger in Zenith, and he had gone forth and had been appalled, aghast, bowed, in shocked horror at the amount of vice, and such interesting and attractive advice,

Starting point is 14:39:01 he had investigated Brown's Island, a brackety beach and dance floor and restaurant at South Zenith, and he had found mixed bathing. He described the ladies' legs, he described the too amiable young woman who had picked him up. He told of the waiter, too, though he denied that Braun's restaurant itself so liquor, I'd been willing to let him know where to get it, and where to find an all-night game of poker,

Starting point is 14:39:34 and mind you, playing poker for keeps, you understand, Alma explained. On Washington Avenue North, he had found two movies in which the dreadful, painted purveyors of putrescent vice, he meant it, movie actors, had on this screen dance suggestive steps which would bring blush of shame to the cheeks of any decent woman, and in which the same purveyors had taken drinks, which he assumed to be, the deadly cocktails. On his way to his hotel, after these movies, three ladies of the night had accosted him, right under the white way of lights, street-corner loafers, he had apparently been very chummy with them, had told them of blind pids of dope peddlers of strange letcheries.

Starting point is 14:40:29 That, he shouted, is what one stranger was able to find in your city, now my city, and will be loved. But could he find virtue so easily? Could he? Could he? Or just a lot of easy-going churches, lolly-gagging along, while the justy-god threatens the city with a fire, and devouring brimstone that distrowering,

Starting point is 14:40:53 proud Sodom and Gomorrah in their abominations. Listen, with the help of God Almighty, let us raise here in this church a standard of virtue that no stranger can help seem. We're lazy. We're not burning with a great fever of righteousness. On your knees, you slothful and pray God to forgive you and to aid you and me to form a brotherhood,

Starting point is 14:41:23 of helpful, joyous, fiercely righteous followers of every commandment of the Lord our God. The newspapers carried almost all of it. It had just happened that they were reporters present. It had just happened that Elmer had been calling up the Advocate Times on Saturday. It had just happened that he remembered he had met Bill Kingdom, the Advocates of Reporter, and Sparta. It had just happened that to help out good old Bill he had let him know there would be something stirring in the church

Starting point is 14:42:00 come Sunday. The next Saturday, Elmer advertised, Is there a real devil sneaking around with horns and hooves? And on Sunday there were 700 present. Within two months, Elmer was preaching ever more confidently and dramatically to larger crowds than were drawn by any other churches in zenith except four or five. But, oh, he's just a new sensation he can't last out, hasn't got the learning and staying power. Besides, Old Town is shot to pieces, said Elmer's fellow Vintners, particularly his annoyed fellow Methodists.

Starting point is 14:42:48 End of Section 28 of Elmer Gantry. Section 29 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. This is a Librevox recording. All LibraVos recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Librevox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 29, chapters 23, parts 4 through 7. part four pheo and he had found a gracious old house in old town to be had cheap because of the ragged neighborhood

Starting point is 14:43:34 he had hinted to her that since he was making such a spiritual sacrifice as to take a lower salary in coming to zenith her father as a zealous christian ought to help them out and if she should be unable to make her father perceive this elmer would regret have to be angry with her. She came back from a visit to Banjo Crossing with $2,000. Cleo had an instinct for agreeable furniture. For the old house with its white mahogany panelling, she got reproductions of early New England chairs and commodes and tables. There was a white-framed fireplace and a fine old crystal chandelier in the living room. some class we could entertain the bonpons here and believe me i'll soon be having a lot of em come to church sometimes i do wish though i'd gone out for the episcopal church

Starting point is 14:44:38 lots more class there and they don't be if a minister takes a little drink he said to go oh elmer how can you when methodism stands for oh god i do wish there's just once you wish that's just once you wish you would deliberately misunderstand me. Here I was just carrying on a philosophical discussion, and not speaking personal, and you go and... His house in order, he gave attention to clothes.

Starting point is 14:45:06 He dressed as calculating he as an actor. For the pulpit, he continued to wear morning goals. For his church steady, he chose offensively inoffensive lounge suits, gray and brown and striped blue, with linen collars

Starting point is 14:45:22 and quiet blue ties for dresses before slightly boisterous lunch clubs he went in for manly tweeds and manly soft collars along with his manly voice and manly chesty he combed his thick hair back from his strong square face and permitted it to hang main light just a bit over his collar but it was still too black to be altogether prophetic the two thousand was gone before they had to be altogether prophetic the two thousand was gone before they had to have been in Zenith a month. But it's all a good investment, he said. When I meet the big bugs, they'll see how I may have a dump of a church in a bum section, but I can put up as good in front as if I were preaching on Chickasaw Road. Part 5. If in Benchal Crossing, Elmer had been bored by inactivity, in Zenith he was almost exhausted

Starting point is 14:46:21 by the demands. Wellspring Church had been carrying on a score of institutional affairs, and Elmer doubled them, for nothing brought in more sympathy, publicity, and contributions. Rich old hyenas who never went to church would ooze out $100 or even $500 when you described the shawl mothers coming tearfully to the milk station. There were classes in manual training, in domestic science, in gymnastics, in birdsteady, for the poor boys and girls of old town. There were troops of Boy Scouts of Campfire girls. There were ladies' aid meetings, women's missionary society meetings, regular church suffers before a prayer meeting,

Starting point is 14:47:08 a Bible trading school for Sunday school teachers, a sewing society, nursing and free food for the sick and poor, half a dozen clubs of young men and women, half a dozen circles of matrons and a men's club with monthly dinners for which the pastor had to snare prominence figures without payment. The Sunday school was like a small university, and every day there were dozens of callers who asked the pastor for comfort, for advice, for money,

Starting point is 14:47:41 young men in temptation, widows wanting jobs, old widows wanting assurance of immortality, hobos wanting handouts and eloquent book agents. Where in Banjo, the villagers had been shy to expose their cancerous sorrows, in the city there were always lonely people who reveled in being a little twisted, a little curious, a little shameful, who yearned to talk about themselves and who expected the pastor to be forever interested. Elmer scarce had time to prepare his sermons, though he really did yearn now to make him original and eloquent.

Starting point is 14:48:25 He was no longer satisfied to depend upon his barrel. He wanted to increase his vocabulary. He was even willing to have new ideas lifted out of biology and biography and political editorials. He was out of the house daily at 8 in the morning, usually after, a breakfast in which he desired to know of Cleo, why the deuce she couldn't keep Ned and Bunny quiet while he read the papers? And he did not return till six,

Starting point is 14:48:56 burning with weariness. He had to study in the evening. He was always testy. His children were afraid of him, even when he boisterously decided to enact the kind parent for one evening and to ride them piggyback, whether or no they wanted to be ridden piggyback.

Starting point is 14:49:15 They feared God properly and kept his commandments, did not happen, Bunny, because their father so admirably prefigured God. When Cleoel was busy with meetings and clubs at the church, Elmer blamed her for neglecting the house. When she slackened her church work, he was able equally to blame her for not helping him professionally, and obviously it was because she had so badly arranged the home routine that he had never had time for morning family worship, and he made up for it by the violence of his grace before me, during which he glared at their children, if they stirred in their chairs, and always the telephone was ringing, not only in his office but at home in the evening. What should Miss Weiziger the deaconess do about this? old Miss Malley, who wanted a new night down.

Starting point is 14:50:15 Could the Reverend Gantry give a short talk on advertising and the church to the ad club next Tuesday noon? Could he address the Deticia Music and Literary Club on Religion and Poetry next Thursday at four? Just when he had a meeting with the official board? The church janitor wanted to start the furnace, but the coal hadn't been delivered. What advice could the Reverend Mr. Gantry give to a young man who wanted to go to college and had no money? From what book was that quotation about Cato learned Greek at 80, Suffolklaze, which he had used in last Sunday's sermon? Would Mr. Gantry be so kind and addressed the Lincoln School next Friday morning at 9.15?

Starting point is 14:51:04 The dear children would be so glad of any message he had to give them, and the regular speaker couldn't show up. Would it be all right for the girls' basketball team to use the basement tonight? Could the Reverend come out right now to the House of Ben T. Evers, 2616, Appleby Street, five miles away, because grandmother was very ill and needed consolation? What the diggance did the Reverend mean by saying, last Sunday that hellfire might be merely spiritual and figurative? Didn't he know that that was again Matthew 529,

Starting point is 14:51:44 quote, "'Thy whole body could be cast into hell?' close quote. "'Could he get the proof of the church bulletin' back to the printers right away?' "'Could the officers of the Southwith Circle of Women Meet in Mr. Gantry's study tomorrow?' Would Reverend Gantry speak at the Old Town Improvement Association banquet? did the reverend want to buy a second-hand motor-car in a one shape could the reverend ah god said the reverend and huh why no of course you couldn't answer him for me but at least you might try to keep from humming when i'm simply killing myself trying to take care of all these lame fools and sacrificing myself and everything and then the letters In response to every sermon he had messages informing him that he was the bright hope of evangelism

Starting point is 14:52:40 and that he was a cloven-hoof fiend, that he was a rousing orator and a human saxophone. One sermon on the delights of heaven, which he pictures as a perpetual summer afternoon at a lake resort, brought in the same mail four comments. I have got an idea for you very important, since hearing years of last Sunday evening, why don't you hold services every evening to tell people and so forth about heaven and danger of hell? We must hurry, hurry, hurry, the church in a bad way, and is up to us who have an infallible proofs of heaven and hell to hasten. Yes, we must rescue the perishing, make everywhere the call of the Lord. fill the churches and empty these damnable theaters.

Starting point is 14:53:33 Yours for his coming, James C. Wiggers, 2113A. McGrew Street. The writer is an honest and unwavering Christian, and I want to tell you, Gantry, that the only decent and helpful and enjoyable thing about your sermon last Sunday a.m. was your finally saying, let us pray. Only you should have said, let me pray. By your wibbly wobbly emphasis on heaven and your fear to emphasize the horrors of hell, you get people into an easygoing, self-satisfied frame of mind where they slip easily into sin. While pretending to be an earnest literal believer in every word of the scriptures,

Starting point is 14:54:17 you are an atheist, in sheep's clothing. I am a minister of the gospel, and nowhere of I speak. Yours, almond-juings straight. I heard your rotten, old-fashioned sermon last Sunday. You pretend to be liberal, but you are just a hide-bound conservative. Nobody believes in material heaven or hell anymore, and you make yourself ridiculous by talking about you. Wake up and study some modern dope.

Starting point is 14:54:49 A student. Dear brother, your lovely sermon last Sunday about heaven was the finest I have ever heard. quite an old lady, and not awful well, and in my ills and griefs, especially about my grandson who drinks, your wonderful words, give me such a comfort I cannot describe to you. Yours, admirably, Mrs. R. R. Gummery. And he was expected, save with the virulent anonymous letters to answer all of them, in his stuffy office facing a shelf of black-bound books dictating to the plaintive miss bundle never caught an address from all a single-spaced letters which should have been double-spaced

Starting point is 14:55:37 and who had a speed which seemed adequate until he discovered that she attained it by leaving out most of the verbs and adjectives part six whether or not he was irritable on weekdays Sundays were to his nervous family a hell of keeping out of his way, and for himself they had the strain of a theatrical first night. He was up at seven, looking over his sermon notes, preparing his talk to the Sunday school, and snarling at Cleo. Good Lord, you might have breakfast on time today, at least, and why in his name you can't get that furnace man here,

Starting point is 14:56:20 so I won't have to freeze while I'm doing my studying, he was at sunday school at quarter to ten and often he had to take the huge men's bible class and instruct it into more occult meanings of the bible out of his knowledge of the original hebrew and greek as denied to the morning church services began at eleven now that he had as many as a thousand in the audience as he peeped out of them from the study he had states right could he hold them what the deuce had he intended to say about communion. He couldn't remember a word of it. It was not easy to keep on urging the unsaved to come forward as though he really thought they would, and as though he cared a hang whether they did or not. It was not easy on communion Sundays when they knelt around the altar rail

Starting point is 14:57:16 to keep from laughing at the sanctimonious eyes and prim mouths of brethren, whom he knew to be crooks in private business. It was not easy to go on saying with proper conviction that whosoever looked on a woman to lust after her would go booming down to hell when there was a pretty and admiring girl in the front row. And it was hardest of all when he had done his proper job

Starting point is 14:57:44 when he was tired and wanted to let down to stand about after the sermon and be hands shaken by age spinster saints who expected him to listen without grinning while they quavered that he was a silver-plated angel and that they were just like him. To have to think up a new, bright, pious quip for each of them, to see large sporting males regarding him

Starting point is 14:58:13 the while as though he were an old woman in trousers. By the time he came home for some, Sunday lunch, he was looking for a chance to feel injured and unappreciated and pestered and put upon, and he usually found the chance. There were still a head of him, for the rest of the day, the Sunday evening service, often the airport league, sometimes special meetings at four. Whenever the children disturbed his Sunday afternoon nap, Elmer gave an impression of the prophets. Why, all he asked if not and bunny was that, as a Methodist ministered children, they should not be seen on the streets or in the parks on the Blessed Sabbath afternoon,

Starting point is 14:58:59 and that they should not be heard about the house. He told them often that they were committing an unacceptable sin by causing him to fall into bad tempers, unbecoming an man of God. but through all these labors and this lack of domestic sympathy he struggled successfully. Part 7 Elmer was as certainly as ever with the Bishop Tumis. When he had conferred early with the bishop and with the canny lawyer trustee T.J. Rigg as to what fellow clergyman in Zenith, it would be worth his while to know. Among the ministers outside the Methodist Church,

Starting point is 14:59:43 they recommended Dr. G. Prosper Edwards, the highly cultured pastor of the Pilgrim Congregational Church, Dr. John Jenison Drew, the active but sanctified leader of the Chatham Road Presbyterian Church, that Solid Baptist the Reverend Josea Jessup, and Willis Fortune Tate, who, though he was an Episcopalian, and very shaky, as regards liquor and health,

Starting point is 15:00:13 at one of the swabest and most expensive flots in town. And if one could endure the Christian scientists smirking, conviction that they alone had the truth, there was the celebrated leader of the first Christian science church, Mr. Irving Pillish. The Methodist ministers of Zenith, Elmer met and studied at their regular Monday morning meetings, in the funeral and wedding chapel of the central church. They look like a group of prosperous and active businessmen.

Starting point is 15:00:46 Only two of them ever wore clerical waistcoats, and of these only one comprised with the papacy and the heirs of Canterbury by turning his collar around. A few recent farmers, few stone masons, but most of them look like retail shops. The Reverend Mr. Chatterton, indulged in claret-coloured fancy socks silks handkerchiefs and an enormous emerald ring and gave a pleasant suggestion of rodville nor were they too sanctimonious they slapped one another's packs they used first names they shouted i hear you're grabbing all of the crowds in town you'll cuss and for the menlier and more successful of them it was quite the thing to use now and then a daring dam

Starting point is 15:01:38 it would to an innocent layman have been startling to see them sitting in rules like schoolboys to hear them listening not to addresses on credit and the routing of hardware but to short helpful talks on faith the balance was kept however by an adequate number of papers on trade subjects this sort of pews most soothing to the back the value of sending postcards reading where were you last sunday old scout we sure did miss you at the men's bible class the compared to values of a giant imitation thermometer a giant clock and a giant automobile speedometer as a register of the money coming in during special drives the question of gold and silver stars as rewards for sunday-school attendees the effectiveness of giving the children's savings banks in the likeness of a jolly little church to encourage them to save the pennies for christian work and the morality of violin solos nor were the assembled clergy too inhumanly unboatsful in their reports of increased attendance and collections elmer saw that the zenith district superintendent one fred orre could be neglected as a creeping and silent fellow who was all right at prayer and who seemed to lead in almost irritatingly pure life but who had no useful notions about increasing collections the methodist preachers whom he had to take seriously as rivals were four there was chester brown the ritualist of the new and autophagothic aspery church he was almost as bad they said as an episcopalian

Starting point is 15:03:27 he wore a clerical waistcoat buttoned up to his collar he had a rogued choir and the processional he rumoured once to have had candles on what was practically an altar he was to elmer distressingly literary and dramatic it was said that he had had candles on what was practically an altar he was said that he was said that he was said that he was said that he was He had literary gifts. His articles appeared not only in the advocate, but in the Christian century and the New Republic, rather whimsical essays, safely Christian, but frank about the church's sloth and wealth and blindness. He had been professor of English literature and church history and the Luccoq Church,

Starting point is 15:04:09 and he did such sermons on books as Elmer, with his exhausting knowledge of Longfellow and George Eliot, could never touch dr otto higgenloper of the central church was an even more distressing rival he was the most active institutional church of the whole state he had not only manual training and gymnastics but sacred pageants classes in painting never from the nude classes in french and boutique making and sex hygiene and bookkeeping and short story-writing He had clubs for railroad men, for stenographers, for bellboys, and after the church suppers that young people were encouraged to sit about in booths, to which the newspapers referred flippantly as courting corners. Dr. Hick and Ruper had come out hard for social services. He was in sympathy with the American Federation of Labor,

Starting point is 15:05:11 the IWW, the Socialists, the Communist and Nonpartisan League, which is more than they were with each other he held sunday evening lectures in the fall of war the minimum wage the need of clean milk and once a month he had an open forum to which were invited the most dangerous radical speakers who were allowed to say absolutely anything the right provided they did not curse refer to adultery or criticise the leadership of christ dr malin pats of the first methodist church seemed to elmer at first glance less difficult to oust he was fat pompous full of heavy rumbles of piety he had a stage parson ah my dear brother he boomed And how are we this morning, my dear doctor, and how is the lovely little wife? But Dr. Potts had the largest congregation of any church, of any denomination in Zenith. He was so respectable. He was so safe.

Starting point is 15:06:19 People knew where they were with him. He was adequately flowery of speech. He could do up a mountain a sunset, a burning of the martyrs, a reception of the same by the saints in heaven, as well as any preacher in town. But he never doubted nor let anyone else doubt that by attending the Methodist Church regularly and observing the rules of repentance, salvation, baptism, communion, and liberal giving,

Starting point is 15:06:47 everyone would have a minimum of cancer and tuberculosis and sin and unquestionably arrive in heaven. These three Elmer envied but respected. The one man he envied, and loathed. That was Philip McGarry of the Arbor Methodist Church. Philip McGarry, Ph.D., of the University of Chicago in economics and philosophy. Only everybody who liked him, layman or fellow Parsons, seemed to call him Phil, was at the age of

Starting point is 15:07:23 35, known through the whole American Methodist Church as an Enfant Terribal. The various sectional editions of the advocate admired him, but clucked, like doting and alarmed hens over his frequent improprieties. He was accused of every heresy. He never denied them, and the only dogma he was known to give out positively was the leadership of Jesus as to whose divinity he was indefinite. He was a stocky, smiling man, fond of both. boxing and even at a funeral incapable of breathing,

Starting point is 15:08:02 Ah, sister! He criticized everything. He criticized even bishops for being too fat, for being too ambitious, for gassing about charity during the knock-down and drag-out strike. He criticized, but amiably the social and institutional and generally philanthropic Dr. Otto Hickenlooper, with his clubs for the study of Karl Marx, and a Sunday afternoon reception for lonely traveling men.

Starting point is 15:08:32 You're too good a lad, Otto, said Dr. McGarry, and openly in the preacher's Monday meetings, you mean well, but you're one of these darned philanthropists. Nice word to use publicly, darned, meditated to shock, Reverend Elmer Gantry. All your stuff at Central Otto, said Dr. Marguerite, is paternal Isty. You hand out rations to the dear people and keep them obedient.

Starting point is 15:09:03 You talk about socialism and pacifism and say a lot of nice things about them, but you always explain that reforms come in due time, which means never, and then only through the kind supervision of Rockefeller and Henry Ford. And I always suspect that your activities have behind them the snaking purpose, of luring the poor chumps into religion, even into Methodism. The whole ministerial meeting broke into Yelps. Well, of course, that's the purpose. Well, if you kindly tell me why you stay in the Methodist Church

Starting point is 15:09:43 when you think it's so important to, just what are you a minister of the gospel seeking except religion? The meeting on such a morning was certain to stray from the consideration of using egg coal in church. to the question as to what, when they weren't. Before their congregations and on record, they really believed about the whole thing. That was a very dangerous and silly thing,

Starting point is 15:10:11 reflected Elmer Gantry. No telling where you'd get to if you went batting about about a lot of these fool problems. Preach the straightened, Bible, gospel, and make folks good, he demanded, and leave all the ticklish questions of theology and social service to the props.

Starting point is 15:10:32 Philip McGarry wound up his cheerful attack on Dr. Hickenlooper the first morning when Elmer disgustedly encountered him by insisting, You see, Otto, your reforms don't mean anything, or you wouldn't be able to hold onto as many prosperous money-grabbing parishners as you do. No risk of the working men in your church, turning dangerous. as long as you've got that tight-fisted Joe Hanley as one of your trustees. Thank Heaven. I haven't got a respectable person in my whole blooming flock. Yeah, that's where you give yourself away, McGarry.

Starting point is 15:11:14 Elmer chuckled inwardly. That's the first thing you said that's true. Philip McGarry's church was any part of the city incomparably more run down than Elmer's old town. it was called the arbor and it had in pioneer days been the vineyard sheltered village along the chalusa river from which had grown the modern zenith now it was all dives braveled wretched tenimus cheap jack-chops yet here mcgaree lived a bachelor seemingly well content counselling pickpockets and scrub women and giving on friday evenings a series of lectures packed by eager Jewish girls students, radical workmen, old cramps, and wistful rich girls coming in limousines down from the spacious gardens of Royal Ridge. I'll have trouble with that, McGarry, if we both stay in this town. Him and I will never get along together, thought Elmer.

Starting point is 15:12:20 Well, I'll keep away from him. I'll treat him with some of this Christian charity that he talked so darned. on much about, and can't understand the real meaning of. We'll just dismiss him and most of these other birds, but the big three, how'll I handle them? He could not, even if he should have a new church outdo Chester Brown in ecclesiastical elegance or literary messages. He could never touch Otto Hickenlooper in institutions and social service.

Starting point is 15:12:55 He could never beat Malin Pott. in appealing to the well-to-do respectibles. Yet he could beat them all together. Planning it delightfully at the minister's meetings on his way home by the fireplace tonight, he saw that each of these stars was so specialized that he neglected the good publicity bringing features of the others. Elmer Wood combined him,

Starting point is 15:13:25 the almost as elevating as Chester Brown, almost as institutional and meddling as Otto Hickenlooper, almost as solidly safe and moral as Malin Potts, and all three of them. In fact, every preacher in town, except one Presbyterian, were neglecting the, well, some people call it sensational, but that was just envy. The proper word, consider Elmer, was powerful,

Starting point is 15:13:54 or perhaps fearless or stimulating. All of them were neglecting a powerful, fearless, stimulating, and devil-challenging concentration on vice. Boo! Legs, society bridge. You bet. Not overdo it, of course, but the town would come to know that in the sermons

Starting point is 15:14:17 of the Reverend Emergantry, there would always be something spicy and yet improving. Oh, I can put it over the whole bunch. Elmer stretched his big arms in joyous vigor. I'll build a new church. I'll take the crowds away from all of them. I'll be the big preacher in Zenith.

Starting point is 15:14:40 And then? Chicago? New York? Bishopric? Whatever I want. Wee. End of Section 29 of Elmer Gantry. Section 30 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis.

Starting point is 15:15:07 This is a Libravox recording. All LibraVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Libravox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 30, Chapter 24, Part 1. It was during his inquiry about clerical allies and rivals, they were the same thing, that Elmer learned that two of his classmate at Mitzpah Seminary were stationed in Zenith.

Starting point is 15:15:44 Wallace Umstead, the MISPah student instructor in gymnastics, was now General Secretary of the Zenith YMCA. He's a boob, we can find. pass him up, Elmer decided. Husky, but no finesse in culture. No, that's wrong. Preacher can get a lot of publicity speaking at the Y, and get the fellows to join his church. So he called on Mr. Umstead, and that was a hearty and touching meeting between classmates. Two strong men come face to face, two fellow manly Christians. But Elmer was not pleased to learn of the presence of the second-classmate,

Starting point is 15:16:34 Frank Shaldered. He angrily recalled, Sure, the fellow that high-handed me and sneaked around and tried to spy on me when I was helping him learn the game at Shernan. He was glad to hear that Frank was in discreet. grace with the sounder and saner clergy of Zenith. He had left the Baptist Church. He was said that he had acted in a low manner as a common soldier in the Great War, and he had gone as pastor to a congregational church in Zenith. Not a God-fearing, wealthy congregational church like that of Dr. G. Prosper Edwards,

Starting point is 15:17:21 but one that was suspected of being as shaky and cowardly and misleading as any Unitarian fold. Elmer remembered that he still owed Frank the hundred dollars which he had borrowed to reach Zenith for the last of his prosperity lectures. He was furious to remember it. He couldn't pay it, not now, with a motor-car just bought and only half-paid for, but it was safe to make an enemy, this crank shallered, who might go around shooting his mouth off and telling a lot of stories? Not more than half of them true.

Starting point is 15:18:05 He groaned with martyrdom, made out a check for a hundred, it was one-half of his present bank balance, and sent it to Frank with a note, explaining that for years he had yearned to return the money, but he had lost Frank's address. Also, he would certainly call on his dear classmate just as soon as he got time. And that'll be about 16 years after the day of judgment, he snorted.

Starting point is 15:18:35 Part 2. Not all the tenderness, all the serene uprightness, all the mystic visions of Andrew Pingley, that village saint, had been able to keep Frank Shattered, satisfied with the Baptist ministry after his association with the questioning rabbi and the Unitarian ministers at Eureka. These liberals proved admirably the assertion of the Baptist fundamentalists that to tamper with biology and ethnology was to lose one's Baptist faith,

Starting point is 15:19:13 wherefore, state university education should be confined to algebra, agriculture, and Bible study. Early in 1917, when it was a question as to whether he would leave the Baptist church or be kicked out, Frank was caught by the drama of war, caught in his wavering by what seemed strength, and he resigned for all of Bess's bewildered protests. He sent her and the children back to her father and, enlisted as a private soldier. Chaplain? No.

Starting point is 15:19:54 He wanted for the first time to be normal and uninsulated. Through the war he was kept as a clerk in camp in America. He was industrious, quick, accurate, obedient. He rose to a sergeancy and learned to smoke. He loyally brought his captain home whenever he was drunk, and he read half a. hundred volumes of science, and all the time he hated. He hated the indignity of being herded with other men,

Starting point is 15:20:30 no longer a person of leisure and dignity and command, whose idiosyncancies were important to himself and to other people. But a cog. To be hammered brusquely, the moment it made any rattle of individuality. He hated the seeming, planlessness of the whole establishment. If this was a war to in war,

Starting point is 15:20:55 he heard nothing of it from any of his fellow soldiers or his officers. But he learned to be easy and common with common men. He learned not even to hear cursing. He learned to like large males more given to tobacco chewing than to bathing and innocent of all words longer than hell. He found him,

Starting point is 15:21:18 himself so devoted to the virtues of these common people that he wanted to do something for them. And in bewildered reflection he could think of no other way of doing something for them than to go on preaching. But not among the Baptists with their cast-iron minds, nor yet could he quite go over to the Unitarians. He still revered Jesus of Nazareth as the one path to justice and kindness, and he still, finding even as in childhood a magic in the stories of shepherds, keeping watch by night of the glorified mother beside the babe in the manger, he still had an unreasoned feeling that Jesus was of more than human birth and veritably the Christ. It seemed to him that the congregationalists were the freest among the more or less

Starting point is 15:22:22 trinitarian denominations. Each congregational church made its own law. The Baptists were supposed to, but they were ruled by a grim general opinion. After the war, he talked to the state superintendent of congregational church and a poor church, but not poor because it was ten. timid and lifeless, they would, said the superintendent, be glad to welcome him among the conrogationalists, and there was available just the flock Frank wanted, the Dorchester Church on the edge of Zenith, the parishioners were small shopkeepers and factory foremen, and skilled workmen and railwaymen, with a few stray music teachers and insurance agents. They were mostly poor, but they had the reputation of really wanting the truth from the pulpit.

Starting point is 15:23:21 When Elmer arrived, Frank had been at the Dorchester Church for two years, and he had been nearly happy. He found the grandeur among his fellow congregational pastors, such as G. Prosper Edwards, with his downtown plush-line cathedral, could be shocked almost as readily as. the Baptists by a suggestion that we didn't really quite know about the virgin birth. He found that the worthy butchers and haberdashers of his congregation did not radiate joy at a defense of Bolshevik Russia. He found that he was still not at all certain that he

Starting point is 15:24:09 was doing any good, aside from providing the drug of religious hope to Timorous folk. frightened of hellfire, and afraid to walk alone. But to be reasonably free to have, after army life, the fleecy comfort of a home with jolly Bess and the children, this was oasis, and for three years Frank halted in his fumbling for honesty. Even more than Bess, the friendship of Dr. Philip McGarry of the Arbor Methodist Church, kept Frank in the ministry. McGarry was three or four years younger than Frank,

Starting point is 15:24:55 but in his sturdy churfulness he seemed more mature. Frank had met him at the Ministerial Alliance's monthly meeting, and they had liked in each other a certain disdainful honesty. McGarry was not to be shocked by what biology did to Genesis, by the suggestion that certain Christian rights had been stolen from Mithraeic Colts? By Freudianism? By any social heresies?

Starting point is 15:25:25 Yet McGarry love the church as a comradly gathering of people alike hungry for something richer than daily selfishness. And this love, he passed on to Frank. But Frank still resented it that as a parson, he was considered not quite verily.

Starting point is 15:25:48 trial, that even clever people felt they must treat him with a special manner, that he was barred from knowing the real thoughts and sharing the real desires of normal humanity. And when he received Elmer's note of greeting, he groaned, oh Lord, I wonder if people ever classed me with a fellow-like gantry? He suggested to Bess, after a spirited account of Elmer's imminent qualities for spiritual and amorous leadership, I feel like sending his check back to him. Let's see it, said Bess, and placing the check in her stocking, she observed derisively. There's a new suit for Michael, and a lovely dinner for you and me, and a new lipstick and money in the back.

Starting point is 15:26:43 Cheers! I adore you, Reverend Shalard. I worship you. I adhere to you in all Christian fidelity. But let me tell you, my lad, it wouldn't hurt you one bit if you had some of Elmer's fast techniques in love-making. End of Section 30, Chapter 24. Section 31 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. This is a Libervox recording. All Libravox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Librevox.org.

Starting point is 15:27:32 Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 31, Chapter 25, Part 1 Elmer had, even in Zenith, to meet plenty of solemn and whiskery persons, whose only pleasure, aside from not doing agreeable things, was keeping others from doing them. But the general bleakness of his sect was changing, and he found in Wiltspring Church a young marriage set, who were nearly as cheerful as though they did not belong to a church.

Starting point is 15:28:07 This young marriage set, what was in good order, though the wives taught Sunday school and the husband's elegantly passed collection plates, swallowed the discipline with such friendly ease as a Catholic priest uses toward the latest bleeding Madonna. They lived largely in the

Starting point is 15:28:28 new apartment houses which were creeping into Old Town. They were not rich, but they had fords and phonographs and gin. They danced, and they were willing to dance even in the presence of the pastor.

Starting point is 15:28:44 They smelled an Elmer one of them, and though Cleo's presence stiffened them into uncomfortable propriety. When he dropped in on them alone, they shouted, Come on, Reverend, I bet you can shake a hoof as good as anybody. The wife says she's going to dance with you. You've got to get acquainted with these sins of the world

Starting point is 15:29:07 if you're going to make snappy sermons. He agreed, and he did dance with a pretty appearance of being shocked. He was light-footed still for all his weight. and there was electricity in his grasp as his hands curled about his partner's waist. Oh, my, reverend, if you hadn't been a preacher, you'd have been some dancing man. The women fluttered, and for all his caution he could not keep from looking into their fascinated eyes, noting the flutter of their bosoms and murmuring, Better remember I'm human, honey.

Starting point is 15:29:47 If I did cut loose, Zowie. and they admired him for it. Once, when, rather hungrily, he sniffed at the odors of alcohol and tobacco, the host-he ago say, I hope you don't smell anything on my breath, Reverend. Be fierce if you thought a good methodist like me could ever throw in a shot of liquor.

Starting point is 15:30:13 It's not my business to smell anything except on Sundays, said Elmer amiably, And, come on now, Sister Gilson, let's try and fox-trot again. My gracious, you talk about me smelling for liquor. Think of what would happen if Brother Epfulness knew his dear pastor was slipping in a little dance. Mustn't tell on me, folks. Well, you bet we won't, they said.

Starting point is 15:30:43 And not even the elderly pietists on whom he had called most often, became louder adherents of the Reverend Elmer Gantry, better advertisers of his sermons than those blades of the young married set. He acquired a habit of going to their parties. He was hungry for brisk companionship, and it was altogether depressing now to be with Cleo. She could never learn, not even after ten efforts a day, that she could not keep him from saying,

Starting point is 15:31:16 damn, by looking hurt and murmuring, Oh, Elmer, how can you? He told her, regarding the parties, that he was going out to call on parishioners, and he was not altogether lying. His ambition was more to him now than any exalted dissipation, and however often he yearned for the mechanical pianos

Starting point is 15:31:41 and the girls in pink kimonos, of whom he was so licorishly preached, He violently kept away from them. But the jelly wives of the young married set, particularly this Mrs. Gilson, Beryl Gilson, a girl of twenty-five, born for cuddling, she had a bleached and whining husband who was always quarreling with her in a weakly violent sputtering,

Starting point is 15:32:11 and she was obviously taken by Elmer's confident strength. He sat by her in cozy corners, and his arm was tense, but he won glory by keeping from embracing her. Also he wasn't so sure that he could win her. She was flighty, fond of triumphs, but cautious. A city girl used to many suitors, and if she did prove kind, she was a member of his church, and she was talkative.

Starting point is 15:32:43 She might go around hinting, After these meditations he would flee to the hospitality of T.J. Rigg, in whose cheerful sloven house he could relax safely, from whom he could get the facts about the private business careers of his more philanthropic contributors. But all the time, the attraction of Beryl Gilson, the vision of her dove-smooth shoulders, was churning him to insanity.

Starting point is 15:33:17 Part two. He had not noticed them during that Sunday morning sermon in the late autumn. Not noticed them among the admirers who came up afterward to shake hands. Then he was startled and croaked. So the current handshaker thought he was ill. Elmer had seen, loitering behind the others, his one-time forced fiancée Lulu Baines of Shernheim, and her rugged, vengeful cousin, Floyd Naylor.

Starting point is 15:33:51 They strayed up only when all the others were gone. When the affable ushers had stopped bouncing on victims and pump-handling them and patting their arms, as all ushers always do after church services, Elmoo wished the ushers were stained to protect him, but he was more afraid of scandal than of violence. He braced himself, feeding the great muscles surged along his back, then took quick decision and dashed toward Lulu and Floyd, yammering, well, well, well, Floyd shambled up not at all unfriendly and shook hands powerfully. "'Hulu and I just heard you were in town.

Starting point is 15:34:35 "'Don't go to church much, I guess, so we don't know. "'We're married.' "'While he shook hands with Lulu, much more tenderly, "'Elmer gave his benign blessing with, "'Well, well, mighty glad to hear it. "'Yep, been married. Gosh, must be fourteen years now. "'Got married just after we last seen you at Shurnaim. by divine inspiration elma was led to look as though he were wounded clear to the heart at the revived memory of that last unfortunate meeting

Starting point is 15:35:13 he folded his hands in front of his beautiful morning-coat and looked noble slightly milky and melancholy by but he was not milky he was staring hard enough he saw that though floyd was still as clumsily uncouth as ever Lulu, she must be 33 or 34 now, had taken on the city. She wore a simple, almost smart hat, a good tweed, topcoat, and she was really pretty. Her eyes were ingratiatingly soft, very inviting. She still smiled with a desire to be friendly to everyone. Inevitably she had grown plump, but she had not yet overdone it, and her white little paw was veritably that of a kitten. All this, Elmer noted, well, he looked injured but forgiving,

Starting point is 15:36:08 and while Floyd stammered, You see, Reverend, I guess you thought we played you a pretty dirty trick that night on the picnic at Dad's Baines when you came back and I was kind of hugging Lulu. Yes, Floyd, I was pretty hurt, but let's forget and forget. No, but listen. "'Grever? Golly, it was hard for me to come and explain to you. "'But now I've got going.

Starting point is 15:36:36 "'Lulu, and me, we weren't making love. "'No, sir. "'She was just feeling blue, and I was trying to cheer her up, honest. "'Then, when you got sore and skipped off, "'Pa Baines, he was so doggone mad, "'got out his shotgun and cussed and raised the old Ned, "'yes, sir. "'He simply raised.

Starting point is 15:36:59 to Cain, and he wouldn't give me no chance to explain, said I had to marry Lou. Well, I says, if you think that's any hardship, Floyd stopped to chuckle. Elmer was conscious that Lulu was studying him in awe, in admiration, in a palpitating resurgence of affection. If you think that's any hardship, I says, let me tell you right now, Uncle, I says, I've been crazy to Mary Lou ever since she was so high. Well, there was a lot of argument. Dad Bain says first we had to go in town and explain everything to you. But you was gone away next morning. And what with one thing and another? Well, here we are. And doing pretty good.

Starting point is 15:37:52 I own a garage out here on the edge of town. We got a nice flat and everything going fine. But Lul and I kind of felt maybe we ought to come around and explain when we heard you were here, and got two fine kids, both boys. Honestly, we never meant, we didn't, begged Lulu. Elmer Conte said, of course, I understand perfectly, sister Lulu. He shook hands with Floyd warmly and with Lulu more warmly, and I can't tell you how pleased I am that you were both so gallant and polite as to take the trouble to come and explain it to me. That was real courtesy when I had been such a silly idiot.

Starting point is 15:38:42 That night I suffered so over what I thought was your disloyalty that I didn't think I lived through the night. But come, shall we not talk of it again? All's understood now, and all's all right. hands all over again. And now that I've found you, two old friends like you, of course I'm still practically a stranger in Zenith. I'm not going to let you go. I'm going to come out and call on you. Do you belong to any church body here in Zenith? Well, no, not exactly, said Floyd. Can't I persuade you to come here sometime and perhaps think of joining later? Well, I'll tell you, Reverend, in the auto business, kind of against my religion.

Starting point is 15:39:31 At that. But you know how it is. In the auto business, we're awful busy on Sunday. Well, perhaps Lulu would like to come now and then. Sure, women ought to stick by the church. That's what I always say. Don't know just how we got out of the habit here in the city, and we've always talked about starting going again.

Starting point is 15:39:56 but, oh, we just kind of never got around to it, I guess. I hope, I hope, Brother Floyd, that our miscomprehension, yours and mine that evening, had nothing to do with your alienation from the church. Oh, that would be a pity. Yes, such a pity, but I could perhaps have a comprehension of it. He saw that Lulu wasn't missing one of his dulcet, and sinuous phrases, so different from Floyd's rustic blurting. She was pretty, just plump enough.

Starting point is 15:40:34 Cleo would be a fat old married Lulu. No, he had been right, small-town stuff, but awful nice to patch. Yes, I think I could understand it if you'd been offended, Floyd. What a young chump I was! Even if I was a preacher, to nod, not. to see the real situation. Really, it's you who must forgive me for my wooden-headedness, Floyd. A sheepishly, Floyd grunted.

Starting point is 15:41:08 Well, I did think you flew off the handle kind of easy, and I guess it did make me kind of sore, but it don't matter none now. Very interested, Lee, Elmer inquired of Floyd. And I'll bet Lulu was even angrier at me for my silliness. "'No, by gosh, she never would let me say a word against you, Reverend. "'Ha, ha, ha, ha. Look at her, by golly, if she ain't blushing. "'Well, sir, that's a good one on her, all right,' Elmer looked intently. "'Well, I'm glad everything's explained,' he said, anxiously.

Starting point is 15:41:50 "'Now, Sister Lulu, you must let me come out and explain about our fine, friendly neighborhood church here and the splendid work we're doing. I know that with two dear kitties, too was it splendid? With them and a fine husband to look after, you must be kept pretty busy, but perhaps you might find time to teach a Sunday school class. Or, anyway, you might like to come to our jolly church suppers on Wednesday now and then. I'll tell you about our work, and you can talk it over with Floyd and see what he thinks. What would be a good time to call on you, and what's your address, Lulu? Uh, how about, will tomorrow afternoon be about three do?

Starting point is 15:42:40 I wish I could come when Floyd's there, but all my evenings are so dreadfully taken up. Next afternoon at five minutes to three, the Reverend Elmer Gantry entered the chief and flimsy apartment house. in which lived Floyd and his Mrs. Naylor, impatiently kicked a baby carriage out of the way, panted a little as he skipped upstairs and stood glowing, looking at Lulu as she opened the door. All alone, said he, he almost whispered. Her eyes dropped before his.

Starting point is 15:43:17 Yes, the boys are in school. Oh, that's too bad. I'd hope to see them. As the door closed, as they stood in the inner hall, he broke out. Oh, Lulu, my darling, I thought I had lost you forever, and now I've found you again. Oh, forgive me for speaking like that. I shouldn't have. Forgive me. But if you know how I've thought of you, dreamed of you, waited for you all these years. No, I'm not allowed to talk like that. It's wicked.

Starting point is 15:43:54 "'But we're going to be friends, aren't we? "'Such dear, trusting, tender friends? "'Floyd and you and I?' "'Oh, yes,' she breathed, "'as she led him into the shabby sitting-room "'with its thrice-paneled cane-rockers, "'his couch covered with a knitted shawl, "'its department store of cronos of fruit and Versailles.

Starting point is 15:44:20 "'They stood recalling each other in the living room, he muttered huskly. Dear, it wouldn't be wrong for you to kiss me. Just once, would it? To let me know you really do forgive me. You see, now that we're like brother and sister. She kissed him shyly, fearfully, and she cried, Oh, my darling, it's been so long.

Starting point is 15:44:50 Her arms clung about his neck. invincible, unrestrained. When the boys came in from school and rang the clicker bell downstairs, the romantics were duly cordial to them. When the boys had gone out to play, she cried wildly, Oh, I know it's wrong, but I've always loved you so. He inquired, interestingly, do you feel wickeder because I'm a minister? No, I'm proud of it.

Starting point is 15:45:23 like as if you were different from other men, like you were somehow closer to God. I'm proud you're a preacher. Any woman would be. It's, you know, different. He kissed her. Oh, you darling, he said. Part three. They had to be careful.

Starting point is 15:45:47 Elmer had singularly little relish for having the horny-handed Floyd nailer come in some afternoon and find him with Lulu? Like many famous lovers in many ages, they found refuge in the church. Lulu was an admirable cook, and while in her new life in Zenith, she had never reached out for such urban opportunities as lectures or concerts or literary clubs, she had, by some obscure ambitiousness, some notion of a shop of her own, been stuards. to attend a cooking school and learn salads and pastry and canape's. Elmer was able to give her a weekly evening cooking class to teach at Wellspring

Starting point is 15:46:35 and even to get out of the trustees for her a salary of $5 a week. The cooking class was over at 10. By that time, the rest of the church was cleared, and Elmer had decided that Tuesday evening would be a disdemeanor. desirable time for reading in his church office. Cleo had so many small activities in the church, clubs, Epworth League, fancy work, but none on Tuesday evening. Before Lulu came stumbling through the quiet church basement,

Starting point is 15:47:12 the dark and musty corridor, before she tapped timidly at his door, he would be walking up and down. When he held out his arms, she flew into the room. She flew into them, unreasoning. He had a new contentment. I'm really not such a bad fellow. I don't go chasing after women. Oh, that fool woman in the hotel didn't count.

Starting point is 15:47:37 Not now that I've got Lulu. Beal never was married to me. She doesn't matter. I like to be good if I'd just been married to someone a little like Sharon. Oh, God, Sharon. Am I untrue to her? No. Dear Lulu, sweet kid, I owe something to her too.

Starting point is 15:48:02 I wonder if I could get to see her Saturday. A new contentment he had, and explosive success. End of Section 31, Chapter 25. Section 32 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. This is the Libre-Vox. recording, all Libravox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Librevox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 32, Chapter 26, Part 1 through 4. Part 1. In the autumn of his first year in Zenith,

Starting point is 15:48:51 Elmer started his famous lively Sunday evenings. Mornings, he announced he would give them all, solid religious meat to sustain them through the week, but Sunday evenings he would provide the best cream puffs. Christianity was a glad religion, and he was going to make it a lot gladder. There was a safe, conservative, sanguinary hymn or two at his lively Sunday evenings, and a short sermon about sunsets, authors, or gambling, but most of the time they were just happy, boys and girls together. He had them sing Old Langs-Eyne and Swanee River, with all the balladry which might have been considered unecclese-esical

Starting point is 15:49:38 if it had not been hallowed by the war. Tipperary, and there's a long, long trail, and pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and smile, smile, smile. He made the women sing in contest against the men. the young people against the old and the sinners against the Christians. That was lots of fun, because some of the most firmly saved brethren, like Elmer himself, pretended for a moment to be sinners. He made them whistle the chorus and hummed and speak it.

Starting point is 15:50:14 He made them sing it while they waved handkerchiefs, waved one hand, waved both hands. Other attractive features he provided. There was a ukulele solo by the champion yuke player from the University of Winniak. There was a song rendered by a sweet little girl of three perched up on the pulpit. There was a mouth organ contest between the celebrated harmonica quartet from the Higginbotham Casket factory and the best for harmonic from the B&E C railroad shops. Surprisingly won, according to the Higginbetham C, C, factory. to the vote of the congregation, by the enterprising and pleasing young men from the railroad.

Starting point is 15:51:01 When this was over, Elmer stepped forward and said, You would never in the world have guessed he was joking, unless you were near enough to catch the twinkle in his eyes. He said, Now perhaps some of you folks think the pieces the boys have played tonight like marching through Georgia and Mammy aren't quite proper for a method of. this church, but just let me show you how well our friend and brother Billy Hicks here can make the old math organ behave in a real high-brow religious hymn.

Starting point is 15:51:37 And Billy played, Ach du Libre Augustine. How they all laughed, even the serious old stewards. And when he had them in this humor, the Reverend Mr. Gantry was able to slam home, good and hard, some pretty straight truths, about the horrors of starting children straight for hell by letting them read the colored comics on Sunday morning. Once, to illustrate the evils of betting, he had them bet as to which of two frogs would jump first.

Starting point is 15:52:09 Once he had the representatives of an illustrious grape-juice company hand around sample glasses of his beverage to illustrate the superiority of soft drinks to the horrors of alcohol. And once he had up on the platform a sickening twisted motor car, in which three people had been killed at a railroad crossing. With this as an example, he showed his flock that motor speeding was but one symptom of the growing madness and rolliness and materialism of the age and that this madness could be cured only by returning to the simple old-time religion

Starting point is 15:52:51 preached at the Wellspring Methodist Church. The motor car got him seven columns of publicity, with pictures of himself the car and the killed motorists. In fact, there were a few of his new paths to righteousness, which did not get adequate respectful attention from the press. There was, perhaps, no preacher in Zenith, not even the liberal Unitarian minister or the powerful Catholic bishop, who was not fond of the young gentleman of the press.

Starting point is 15:53:25 The newspapers of Zenith were as likely to attack religion as they were to attack department stores. But of all the clerics, none was so hearty, so friendly, so brotherly, to the reporters as the Reverend Elmer Gantry. His rival Parsons were merely cordial to the sources of publicity when they called. Elmer did his own calling. Six months after his coming to Zenith, he began preparing a sermon on the making and mission of a great newspaper.

Starting point is 15:53:58 He informed the editors of his plan and had himself taken through the plants and introduced to the staffs of the Advocate Times, is sister the evening advocate, the press, the gazette, and the crier. Out of his visits, he managed to seize and hold the acquaintanceship of at least a dozen reporters, and he met the magnificent Colonel Rutherford Snow, owner of the advocate, a white-haired, blasphemous, religious, scoundrelly, old gentleman, whose social position in Zenith was as high as that of a bank president or corporation council, Elmer and the Colonel recognized in each other an enterprising boldness,

Starting point is 15:54:43 and the Colonel was so devoted to the Church, and its work in preserving the free and democratic American institutions, that he regularly gave to the Pilgrim Congregational Church more than a tenth of what he made out of patent medicine advertisements, cancer cures, rupture cures, and the notices of old Dr. Bly. The colonel was cordial to Elmer and gave orders that his sermons should be reported at least once a month, no matter how the rest of the clergy shouted for attention.

Starting point is 15:55:18 But somehow Elmer could not keep the friendship of Bill Kingdom, that particularly hard-boiled veteran reporter of the Advocate Times. He did everything he could. He called Bill by his first name, gave him a quarter cigar, and said, damn, but Bill looked uninterested when Elmer came around with the juiciest of stories about dance-alls. In grieved in righteous wrath, Elmer turned his charm on younger members of the advocate staff, who were still new enough to be pleased by the good fellowship of a preacher who could say, damn. Elmer was particularly benevolent with one Miss Coy,

Starting point is 15:56:02 sub-sister reporter for the Evening Gazette and an enthusiastic member of his church. She was worth a column a week. He always breathed at her after church. Lulu rage. It's hard enough to sit right here in the same pew with your wife and never be introduced to her, because you say it isn't safe. But when I see you holding hands with that cold, Coy, woman, it's a little too much.

Starting point is 15:56:35 But, he explained, that he considered Miss Coy a fool, that it made him sick to touch her, that he was nice to her, only because he had to get publicity. And Lou saw, it was all proper and truly noble of him, even when in the church bulletins, which he wrote each week for general distribution, he cheered, let's all congratulate Sister Coy, who so brilliantly represents the arts amongst us, with her splendid piece in the recent Gazette about the drunken woman who was saved by the Salvation Army.

Starting point is 15:57:13 Your pester felt the quick tears springing to his eyes as he read it, which is a tribute to Sister Coe's powers of expression, and he is always glad to fellowship with the Salvation Army as well as with all other branches of the true Protestant evangelical universal church. Wellspring is the home of liberality, so long as it does not weaken morality and the proven principles of Bible Christianity. Part 2. As important as the publicity to Elmer was the harassing drive of finance.

Starting point is 15:57:54 He had made one discovery superb. in its simple genius. The best way to get money was to ask for it, hard enough and often enough. To call on rich men, to set Sunday school classes in competition against one another, to see that every one received pledge envelopes, these were all useful, and he pursued them earnestly.

Starting point is 15:58:21 But none of them was so useful as to tell the congregation every Sunday what epical good wellspring and his pastor were doing, how much greater good they could do if they had more funds, and to demand their support now this minute. His official board was charmed to see the collections increasing even faster than the audience. They insisted that the bishop sent Elmer back to them for another year, indeed for many years, and they raised Elmer's salary to 4,300.

Starting point is 15:58:55 And in the autumn they let him have two subordinates. The Reverend Sidney Webster, B.A. B.D., as assistant pastor, and Mr. Henry Wink, B.A. as director of religious education. Mr. Webster had been secretary to Bishop Tumas, and it was likely that he would someday be secretary of one of the powerful church boards, the Board of Publications, the Board of Missions, the Board of Temperates and Morals. He was a man of 28. He had been an excellent basketball player in Boston University.

Starting point is 15:59:35 He was tight-mouthed as a New England president, efficient as a natting machine, and cold as the heart of a bureaucrat. If he loved God and humanity, in general with rigid devotion, he loved no human individual. If he hated sin, he was too contemptuous of any. actual sinner to hate him. He merely turned his frigid eye away and told him to go to hell. He had no vices. He was also competent. He could preach, get rid of beggars, be quietly devout in deathbed prayers, keep down church expenses, and explain about the Trinity. Henry Wink had a lisp, and he told little simpering stories, but he was admirable in the direction.

Starting point is 16:00:25 of the Sunday school. And the Epworth Leagues, with Mr. Webster and Mr. Wink, removing most of the church detail from him, Elmer became not less, but more occupied. He no longer merely invited the public, but galloped out and dragged it in. He no longer merely scolded sin.

Starting point is 16:00:49 He gratifyingly ended it. Part 3. When he had done, been in Zenith for a year and three-quarters, Elmer formed the Committee on Public Morals and conducted his raids on the Red Light District. It seemed to him that he was getting less publicity. Even his friend Colonel Rutherford Snow, owner of the Advocate Times, explained that just saying things couldn't go on being news. News was essentially a report of things done.

Starting point is 16:01:24 All right, I'll do things, by golly, now that I've got a Webster and wink to take care of the glad hand for the brethren, Elmeroud. He received an inspiration to the effect that all of a sudden, for reasons not defined, things have gotten so bad in zenith, immorality is so rampant in high places and low, threatening the morals of youth and the sanctity of do,

Starting point is 16:01:52 domesticity, that it is not enough for the ministry to stand back warning the malefactors, but a time now to come out of our dignified seclusion and personally wage open war on the forces of evil. He said these startling things in the pulpit. He said them in an interview. He said them in a letter to the most important clergymen in town, invited them to meet with him to form. a committee on public morals and make plans for open war. The devil must have been shaken.

Starting point is 16:02:31 Anyway, the newspaper said that the mere threat of the formation of the committee had caused a number of well-known crooks and women of bad reputation to leave town. Who these scoundrels were, the papers did not say. The committee was to be composed of the Reverend Elmer Gantry and the and Otto Hickenlooper, Methodists, G. Prosper Edwards, congregationalists, John Genison Drew, Presbyterian, Edmund St. Vincent Zahn, Lutheran,

Starting point is 16:03:07 James F. Gumer, disciples, Father Matthew Smeeseby, Catholic, Bernard Amos, Jewish, Josea Jessup Baptist, Willis Fortune Tate, Episcopalian and Irving Tillish, Christian Science Reader. With Wallace Umsted, the Y.M.C. a secretary for Moral layman and a lawyer, Mr. T.J. Rigg. They assembled at lunch in a private dining room at the palatial zenith athletic club, being clergymen and having to prove that they were also red-blooded, as they gathered before lunch in the lobby of the club, they were particularly boisterous in shouting to passing acquaintances, florists, and doctors,

Starting point is 16:03:57 and wholesale plumbers. To one George Babbitt, a real estate man, Dr. Drew, the Presbyterian, clamored, Hey, Georgie, got a flask along, lunching with a bunch of preachers, and I reckon they'll want a drink. There was great admiration on the part of Mr. Babbitt, and laughter among all the clergymen, except the Episcopal, Mr. Tate, and the Christian scientific, Mr. Tillish. The private dining room at the club was a thin red apartment with two pictures of young Indian maidens of Lithuanian origin

Starting point is 16:04:38 sitting in native costume, which gave free play to their legs under a rugged pindry against the background of extremely high mountains. In private dining room, A, beside them was a lunch of the Men's Furniture's Association addressed by S. Garrison Siegel of New York on the rented dress suit business and how to run it in a high-class way. The Incipient Committee on Public Morals set about a long, narrow table in bentwood chairs, in which they were always vainly trying to tilt back. Their table did not suggest debauchery and the demon rum. There were only chilly and naked-looking goblets of ice water.

Starting point is 16:05:28 They lunched gravely on consummate, celery, roast lamb, which was rather cold, mashed potatoes which were Arctic, Russell sprouts which were overstued, ice cream, which was served with very large cups of coffee, and no smoking afterwards. Elmer began. I don't know who is the oldest amongst us, but certainly no one in this room has had a more distinguished or more valuable term of Christian service than Dr. Edwards of Pilgrim Congregational.

Starting point is 16:06:05 And I know that you'll join me in asking him to say grace before meet. The table conversation was less cheerful than the blessing. They all detested one another. Everyone knew of some case in which each of the others had stolen or was said to have tried to steal some parishioners, to have corrupted his faith and appropriated his contributions. Dr. Hickenlooper and Dr. Drew had each advertised that he had the largest Sunday school in the city.

Starting point is 16:06:41 All of the Protestants wanted to throw ruinous questions about the Immaculate Conception at Father Semeesby, and Father Samesby, a smiling dark man of forty, had ready, in case they should attack the Catholic Church, the story of the aunt, who said to the elephant, move over, who do you think you're pushing? All of them, except Mr. Tillish, wanted to ask Mr. Tillish,

Starting point is 16:07:08 how he had been fooled by this charlatan, this Mary-Baker Eddie, and all of them, except the rabbi, I wanted to ask Rabbi Amos why the Jews were such numbskulls as not to join the Christian faith. They were dreadfully cordial. They kept their voices bland and smiled too often and never listened to one another. Elmer, aghast, saw that they would flee before making an organization if he did not draw them together. And what was the one thing in which they were all joyously interested?

Starting point is 16:07:45 Why, vice? He had began, the vice rampage now, instead of waiting till the business meeting after lunch. He pounded on the table and demanded, most of you have been in the zenith longer than myself. I admit ignorance. It is true that I have unearthed many dreadful, dreadful cases of secret sin. But you, gentlemen, you know the town so much better. Am I right? Are conditions as dreadful as I think, or do I exaggerate? All of them lighted up, and suddenly, looking upon Elmer as really a nice man, after all, they began happily to tell of their woeful discoveries, the blood-chilling incident of the father who found in the handbag of his sixteen-year-old daughter improper pictures.

Starting point is 16:08:40 the suspicion that at a dinner of war veterans at the Leroy house there had danced a young lady who wore no garments save slippers and a hat. Oh, I knew all about that dinner. I got the details from a man in my church. I'll tell you about it if you feel you ought to know, said Dr. Gomer. They all looked as though they decidedly felt that they ought to know. He went into details, very, and at the end, Dr. Jessop gulped.

Starting point is 16:09:14 Oh, that Leroy house is absolutely a din of iniquity. It ought to be pulled. It certainly ought to. I don't think I'm cool, shouted Dr. Zahn, the Lutheran. But if I had my way, I'd burn the proprietor of that joint at the state. All of them had incidents of shocking obscenity all over the place. all of them except Father Smeeseby, who sat back and smiled, the Episcopal Dr. Tate, who sat back and looked bored,

Starting point is 16:09:49 and Mr. Tillish, the healer, who sat back and looked chilly. In fact, it seemed as though, despite the efforts of themselves in thousands, of other inspired and highly trained Christian ministries, who had worked over it ever since its foundation, the city of Zenith was another Sodom. But the alarmed apostles did not appear to be so worried as they said they were. They listened with almost benign attention while Dr. Zahn, in his German accent, told of alarming crushes between the society girls,

Starting point is 16:10:27 whom he knew so well from dining once a year ago with his richest parishioner. they were all indeed absorbed in vice to a degree gratifying to Elmer, but at the time for doing something about it, for passing resolutions and appointing subcommittees and outlining programs, they drew back. Can't we all get together, pool our efforts, pleaded Elmer? Whatever our creedal differences, surely we stand alike in worshipping the same God

Starting point is 16:11:01 and advocating the same code of morals. I like to see this committee as a permanent organization, and finally when the time is ripe, think how it would joll the town, all of us getting ourselves appointed special police or deputy sheriffs and personally marching to these abominations, arresting the blood-guilty wretches, and putting them where they can do no harm.

Starting point is 16:11:29 Maybe leading our church members in the crucist, say, think of it. They did think of it, and they were alarmed. Father Smeeseby spoke, My church, gentlemen, probably has a more rigid theology than yours, but I don't think we're quite so alarmed by discovering the fact what seems to astonish you that sinners often sin. The Catholic Church may be harder to believe, but it's easier to live with.

Starting point is 16:12:01 My organization, said Mr. Tillish, could not think of joining in a wild witch hunt any more than we could in indiscriminate charity. For both the poverty-laden and the vicious, he made a little whistling between his beautiful but false teeth, and went on with frigid benignancy. For all such, the truth is clearly stated in science and health, and made public in all our meetings. the truth that both vice and poverty, like sickness are unreal, are errors to be got rid of by understanding that God is all in all, that disease, death, evil, sin, deny good, unipotent God life. Well, if these so-called sufferers do not care to take the truth when it is freely offered to them,

Starting point is 16:12:55 is that our fault? I understand your sympathy with the unfortunate, but you are not going to put out ignorance by fire. Golly, let me crawl too, chuckled Rabbi Amos. If you want to get a vice-crusating rabbi, get one out of these smart alec young liberals from the Cincinnati school, and they'll mostly have too much sympathy with the sinners to help you either. Anyway, my congregation is so horribly respectable that if their rabbi did anything but sit in his study and look and learn that kick him out.

Starting point is 16:13:37 And I, said Dr. Willis Fortunate of St. Colum's Episcopal, if you will permit me to say so, can regard such a project as our acting like policemen and dealing with these malefactors in person as nothing short of, vulgar as well as useless? I understand your high ideals, Dr. Gantry. Mr. Gantry. Mr. Gantry and I honor you for them and respect your energy, but I beg you to consider how the press and the ordinary laity with their incurably common and untrained minds would misunderstand. I'm afraid I must agree with Dr. Tate,

Starting point is 16:14:23 said the congregational Dr. G. Prosper Edwards, in the matter of the Pilgrim's Monument, disagreeing with Westminster Abbey. As for the others, they said they really must take time to think it over, and they all got away as hastily and cordially as they could. Elmer walked with his friend and pillar, Dr. T. J. Rigg, toward the dentist's office, in which even an ordained minister of God, would shortly take on strangely normal writhings and gurglings. They're a fine bunch of scared prophets.

Starting point is 16:15:00 I'd know a lot of apostolic ice cream cones, protested Mr. Rigg. Hard luck, brother Elmer. I'm sorry, it really is good stuff, this vice crusading? I don't suppose it makes the slightest difference in the amounts of vice, and I don't know that it ought to make any.

Starting point is 16:15:20 We got to give fellows that haven't our advantages some chance to let off. steam. But it does get the church a lot of attention. I'm mighty proud of the way we're building up Wellspring Church again. Kind of a hobby with me, but makes me indignant these spiritual cold storage eggs not supporting you. But as he looked up, he saw that Elmer was grinning. I'm not worried, T.J. In fact, I'm tickled to death. First place I've got. I was, I was grinned. I'm have scared him off the subject of vice. Before they get back to preaching about it,

Starting point is 16:16:01 I'll have the whole subject absolutely patented for our church. And now they won't have the nerve to intimidate me if I do this personal crusading stunt. Third, I can preach against him, and I will. You watch me. Oh, not mentioning any names, no comeback, but tell them how I pled with a gang of preachers, to take practical methods to end immorality, and they were all scared.

Starting point is 16:16:32 Well, fine, said the benevolent trustee. We'll let him know that Wellspring is the one church that's really following the gospel. We sure will. Now, listen, T.J., if you trustees will stand for the expense, I want to get a couple of good private detectives or something, and have them dig up a lot of real addresses. of places that are vicious. There must be some of them, and get some evidence.

Starting point is 16:17:02 Then I'll jump on the police for not having pinched these places. I'll say they're not so wide open that the police must know of them, and probably that's true, too. Man, a sensation. Run our disclosures every Sunday evening for a month. Make the chief of police try to answer us in the press. Good stuff. Well, I know a fellow. He was a government man, Prohibition Agent, and got fired for boozing and blackmail. He's not exactly a double-crosser, well, straighter than most Prohibition agents, but I think he could slip us some real addresses. I'll have him see you. Part 4

Starting point is 16:17:48 When from his pulpit, the Reverend Elman Gantry announced that the authorities of Zenith were deliberately conniving in protecting vice, and that he could give the addresses and ownership of 16 brawled, 11 blind tigers, and two agencies for selling cocaine and heroin, along with an obscene private burlesque show so dreadful that he could only hit at the nature of its program. When he attacked the chief of police and promised to give more detailed complaints next Sunday, then the town exploded.

Starting point is 16:18:32 There were front-page newspaper stories, yelping replies by the mayor and chief of police, replies from Elmer, interviews with everybody, and a full-page account of white slavery in Chicago. In clubs and offices, in church societies, and the back rooms of soft-dring stands, there was a blizzard of talk. Elmer had to be protected against hundreds of callers, telephoner's, letter-writers.

Starting point is 16:19:01 His assistant, Sidney Webster, and Miss Bundle, the secretary, could not keep the mob from him, and he hid out in T.J. Riggs house, accessible to no one, except to newspaper reporters who, for any Christian and brotherly reason, might care to see him. For the second Sunday evening of his Jeremiahd, the church was full half an hour before opening time, standing room was taken even to the back of the lobby, hundreds clamored at the closed doors. He gave the exact addresses, Eight dives, told what dreadful drinking of corn whiskey went on there,

Starting point is 16:19:42 and reported the number of policemen in a uniform who had been in the more attractive of these resorts during the past week. Despite all the police could do to help their friends close up for a time, it was necessary for them to arrest ten or fifteen of the hundred-odd criminals whom Elmer named. but the chief of police triumphed by announcing that it was impossible to find any of the others. All right, Elmer murmured to the chief, in the gentleness of a boxed newspaper interview in bold face type, if you'll make me a temporary lieutenant of police and give me a squad, I'll find and close five dives in one evening,

Starting point is 16:20:33 any evening save Sunday. I'll do it, and you can make your rage tomorrow, said the chief, in the official dignity of headlines. Mr. Rigg was a little alarmed. Think you're going too far, Elmer? he said. If you really antagonize any of the big wholesale bootleggers, they'll get us financially, and if you hit any one of the tough ones,

Starting point is 16:21:01 they're likely to bump you off. Darn dangerous. I know. I'm just going to pick out some of the smaller fellows that make their own booze and haven't got any police protection except slipping a five or ten to the cop on the beat. The newspapers will make him out regular homicidal gangsters to get a good story, and we'll have the credit without being foolish and taking risks. End of Section 32.

Starting point is 16:21:40 Section 33 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. This is a Liebervox recording. All Lieberbox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Libravox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 33, Chapter 26, Part 5 through 9. Part 5. At least a thousand people were trying to get near the central police station on the evening

Starting point is 16:22:11 when a dozen armed policemen marched down the steps of the station house and stood at attention, looking up at the door, awaiting their leader. He came out? The great Reverend Mr. Gantry and stood posing on the steps, while the policeman saluted, the crowd cheered or sneered, and the press cameras went off in a flurry of flashlight powder. He wore the gilt-enciled cap of a police lieutenant with a lugubrious frock coat and black trousers,

Starting point is 16:22:44 and under his arm he carried a Bible. Two patrol wagons clanged away, and all the women in the crowd, except certain professional ladies, who were grievously profane, gasped their admiration of this modern sovereigna rola. He had promised the mob at least one real house of prostitution. Part 6.

Starting point is 16:23:09 There were two amiable young females, who, tired of working in a rather nasty bread factory and of being unremunitably seduced by the large pale, puffy bakers on Sunday afternoons, had found it easier and much jollier to set up a small flat in a street near Elmer's church. They were fond of reading the magazines and dancing to the phonograph, and of going to church, usually Elmer's church.

Starting point is 16:23:40 If their relations to their gentlemen friends were more comforting than a preacher could suspect, after his experience of the sacred and chilly state of matrimony, they entertained only a few of these friends. Often they darned their socks, and almost always they praised Elmer's oratorio. One of the girls this evening was discoursing with a man who was later proved in court not to be her husband. The other was in the kitchen making a birthday cake for her niece and humming onward Christian soldiers. She was dazed by a rumbling or a clanging or shouting. In the street below, then mob sounds on the stairs, she fluttered into the living room to see their pretty, invitation mahogany door smashed in with a rifle butt.

Starting point is 16:24:35 Into the room crowded a dozen grinning policemen, followed to her modest shame by her adored family prophet, the Reverend Gantry. But it was not the cheerful, laughing Mr. Gantry, that she knew. He held out his arms in a horrible gesture of holiness and bald. Scarlet woman! Thy sins be upon thy head! "'No longer are you going to get away with leading poor, unfortunate young men,

Starting point is 16:25:05 "'into this sink and cesspool of iniquity. "'Surgeon, draw your revolver. "'These women are known to be up to every trick.' "'All right, sure. "'Look!' giggled the brick-faced police, Sergeant. "'All rats, this girl looks as dangerous as a goldfish. "'Oh, gantry!' "'Remarked Bill Kingdom of the advocate.

Starting point is 16:25:30 at times, he was two hours later to do an epic of the heroism of the Great Crusader. Let's see what the other girl's up to, snickered one of the policemen. They all laughed very much as they looked into the bedroom. Where a half-dressed girl and a man shrank by the window, their face is sick with shame. It was with her, ignoring Bill Kingdom's mutters of, oh, drop it. pig on somebody your own size, that Elmer, the vice-slayer, became really biblical. Only the instance of Bill Kingdom kept Lieutenant Gantry from making his men load the erring one into the patrol wagon in her chemise.

Starting point is 16:26:17 Then Elmer led them to a secret den where it was securely reported men were ruining their bodies and souls by guzzling the devil's brew of alcohol. Part 7. Mr. Oscar Hochlauf had been a saloon-keeper in the days before Prohibition, but when Prohibition came, he was a saloon-keeper. A very sound, old-fashioned, drowsy, agreeable resort was Oscar's place. None of the grander public houses had more artistic soap scrawls on the mirror behind the bar. None had spicier pickle-hering. Tonight, there were three men, before the bar. Amel Fisher, the carpenter, who had a mustache like an earmuff, his son Ben, whom Amo was training to drink wholesome beer instead of the whiskey and gin, which America was

Starting point is 16:27:14 forcing on the people, and old Daddy Sorensen, the Swedish tailor. They were discussing jazz. I came to America for liberty. I think Ben's son will go back to Germany for liberty, said Amos. When I was a young man here, four of us used to play every Saturday evening. Bach we played in Brahms' gut-vice. We played terrible, but we liked it, and we never made others listen. Now what this Reverend Gunther you read about is to an old-time predator. I guess maybe he was never born. That Gunthery fellow, he was blowed out of a saxophone.

Starting point is 16:28:00 "'Ah, this country's all right, pa,' said Ben. "'Sure, that's right,' said Oscar Hochloff, contentedly, while he sliced the foam off a glass of beer. "'The Americans, like when I knew them first, "'when there was Veil Nye and Eugene Field, they used to laugh. "'Now they get solemn. "'When they start laughing again, "'they roar their heads off at fellows like,

Starting point is 16:28:29 Ganty and almost all these preachers that try to tell everybody how they got to leave, and if the people laugh, oof, God help the preachers. Well, that's how it is. Say, did I tell you, Oscar, said the Swedish tailor, my grandson, William, he got a scholarship in the university. Oh, that's fine, they all agreed, slapping Daddy Sorensen on the back. As a dozen policemen, followed by a large and gloomy gentleman, armed with a Bible, burst in through the front and back doors, and the gloomy gentleman, pointing at the astounded Oscar bellowed, arrest that man, and hold all these other fellows.

Starting point is 16:29:18 To Oscar, then, into an audience increasing ten a second, I've got you. You're the kind that teaches young men to drink. It's you that start them on the road to every hellish vice to Camlington murder, with your hellish beverages, with your draught of the devil himself. Arrested for the first time in his life, bewildered, broken, feebly, leaning on the arm of two policemen, Oscar Hochelow straightened at this and screamed, and screamed, "'Dot's a damn delight. "'Always when you let me, I handle Eitelbaum's beer. "'The finest in the state, and since then I make my own beer.

Starting point is 16:30:06 "'It is good. It is honest. "'Hellish beverage! "'Dot you should judge a beer, that a pig should judge poetry. "'You are Christ that made vines. "'He would like my beer.' Elmer jumped forward with his great fists doubled. Only the sudden grip of the police sergeant kept him from striking down the blasphemer. He shrieked,

Starting point is 16:30:33 Take that foul mouth bum to the wagon. I'll see he gets the limit. And Bill Kingdom murmured to himself, Gallant preacher single-handed faces saloon full of desperate gunmen and rebukes them for taking the name of the Lord in vain. Oh, I'll get a swell story. Then I think I'll commit suicide. Part 8.

Starting point is 16:30:59 The attendant crowd and the policeman had whispered that from the careful way in which he followed instead of leading, it might be judged that the Reverend Lieutenant Gantry was afraid of the sinister criminals whom he was attacking. And it is true that Elmer had no large fancy for revolver duels. but he had not lost his delight in conflict. He was physically no coward, and they were all edified to see this when the raiders dashed into the resort of Nick Spoletti.

Starting point is 16:31:35 Nick, who conducted a bar in a basement, had been a prize fighter. He was cool and quick. He heard the crusaders coming and shouted to his customers, Beat it! Side door! I'll hold him back. He met the first of the police, at the bottom of the steps and dropped him with the crack of a bottle over his head. The necks tripped over the body, and the others halted peering, looking embarrassed, drawing revolvers.

Starting point is 16:32:04 But Elmer smelled battle. He forgot holiness. He dropped his Bible, thrust aside two policemen, and swung on Nick from the bottom step. Nick slashed at his head, but with a boxer's jerk of the neck, Elmer slid away from the punch and knocked out Nick with a deliberately murderous left. Golly, the persons got an awful wallop, run to the sergeant, and Bill Kingdom sighed, not so bad, and Elmer knew that he had won, that he would be the hero of Zenith, that he was now the Sir Lancelot as well as the William Jennings Bryan of the Methodist Church. Part 9 After two more raids, he was delivered at his home by patrol wagon,

Starting point is 16:32:57 and left with not entirely sardonic cheers by the policeman. Cleo rushed to meet him, crying, Oh, you're safe, oh, my dear, you're hurt. His cheek was slightly bleeding. In a passion of admiration for himself, so hot that it extended even to her, he clasped her, Kist her wetly and roared, "'It's nothing.

Starting point is 16:33:22 Oh, it went great. We rated five places, arrested 27 criminals, took them in every sort of horrible debauchery. Things I never dreamed could exist. You poor dear!' There was not enough audience with merely Cleo, and the maid, peering from the back of the hall.

Starting point is 16:33:43 "'Let's go and tell the kids, maybe they'll be proud of their dad.' He interrupted her. "'Dear, they're asleep.' "'Oh, I see. "'Sleep is more important to them "'than to know their father is a man who isn't afraid "'to back up his gospel with his very life.'

Starting point is 16:34:01 "'Oh, I didn't mean. "'I meant, yes, of course, you're right. "'It'll be a wonderful example and inspiration, "'but let me put on some stick and plaster on your cheek first.' "'By the time she had washed the cut and bounded and fussed over it, he had forgotten the children and their need of an heroic exemplar, as she had expected,

Starting point is 16:34:27 and he sat on the edge of the bathtub, telling her that he was an entire Trojan army. She was so worshipful, that he became almost amorous, until it seemed to him from her anxious patting on his arm, that she was trying to make him so. It anchored him, that she, so unappealing, should have the egotism to try to attract a man like himself. He went off to his own room, wishing that Lulu were here to rejoice in his splendor,

Starting point is 16:35:05 the beginning of his fame as the up-to-date John Wesley. End of Section 33, Chapter 26, Parts 5 through 9. Section 34 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. This is a Librevox recording. All LibreVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Librevox.org. Read by William Jones, the need of Springs, Florida. Section 34 Chapter 27 Part 1

Starting point is 16:35:46 Elmer, in court, got convictions of 16 out of the 27 fiends whom he had arrested, with an extra six months for Oscar Hochelof for resisting arrest and the use of abusive and profane language. The judge praised him, the mayor forgave him, the chief of police shook his hand and invited him to use a police squad at any time, and some of the younger reporters did not cover their mouths with their hands. Vice was ended in Zena. It was 30 days before any of the gay ladies were really back at work, though the gentlemanly jailers at the workhouse did let some of them out for an occasional night. Every Sunday evening now, people were turned from the door, of Elmer's church.

Starting point is 16:36:43 If they did not always have a sermon about vice, at least they enjoyed the saxophone solos and singing, there'll be a hot time in the old town tonight. And once they were entertained by a professional juggler, who wore, it was Elmer's own idea, a placard proclaiming that he stood for God's word, and who showed how easy it was to pick up weights symbolically labeled sin and sorrow, and ignorance and papestry.

Starting point is 16:37:13 The trustees were discussing the erection of a new and much larger church, a project for which Elmer himself had begun to prepare a year before, by reminding the trustees how many new apartment houses were replacing the run-down residences in Old Town. The trustees raised his salary to 5,000, and they increased the budget for institutional work. Elmer did not institute so many clubs for students of chiropractic and the art of motion picture acting, as did Dr. Otto Hicken looper of Central Methodist, but there was scarcely an hour, from nine in the morning till ten at night when some circle was not trying to do good to somebody, and even after ten there were often Elmer and Lulu Baines and Ehler conferring on cooking classes.

Starting point is 16:38:07 Elmer had seen the danger of his crusading publicity and his lively Sunday evenings the danger of being considered a clown instead of a great moral leader. I've got to figure out some way so as I keep dignified and yet keep folks interested, he meditated. The thing is sort of have other people do the monkey business. But me, I got to be upstage and not smile as much as I've been. doing, and just when the poor chumps think my Sunday evening is nothing but a vaudeville show, I'll suddenly soak them with a regular old-time, hell-fire, and damnation sermon,

Starting point is 16:38:50 or be poetic and that stuff. It worked reasonably. Though many of his arrival features in Zenith went on calling him clown and charlatan, and sensationalist, no one could fail to appreciate his lofty soul and his weighty scholarship once they had seen him stand in agonized silent prayer then level his long forefinger and in tone you have laughed now you have sung you have been merry but what came ye forth into the wilderness for to see merely laughter i want you to stop a moment now and and think just how long it is since you have realized that any night death may demand your souls, and that then, laughter or no laughter, unless you have found the peace of God, unless you have accepted Christ Jesus as your Savior,

Starting point is 16:39:52 you may with no chance of last-minute repentance be hurled into horrible and shrieking and appalling eternal torture. Elmer had become so distinguished that the Rotary Club he elected him to membership with zeal. The Rotary Club was an assemblage of accountants, tailors, osteopaths, university presidents, carpet manufacturers, advertising men, millinery dealers, ice dealers, piano salesmen, laundry men, and like leaders of public thought, who met weekly for the purposes of lunching together. listening to addresses by visiting actors and by lobbyists against the recognition of Russia, beholding vaudeville teams in eccentric dances and indulging in passionate rhapsodies about service and business ethics.

Starting point is 16:40:48 They asserted that their one desire in their several callings was not to make money, but only to serve and benefit a thing called the public. They were as earnest about this as was the Reverend Elmer Gantry about vice. He was extraordinarily at home among the Rotarians, equally happy in being a good fellow with such good fellows as these, and in making short speeches to the effect that Jesus Christ would be a Rotarian if he lived today. Lincoln would be a Rotarian today. William McKinley would be a Rotarian today.

Starting point is 16:41:29 All these men preached the principles of Rotary, one for all and all for one, mindfulness toward one's community and respect for God. It was a rule of this organization, which was merry and full of greetings in between inspirational addresses, that everyone should, at lunch, be called by his first name. They shouted at the Reverend Mr. Gantry as Elmer, or Elm, while he called his haberdasher Ike and beamed on his shoe-seller as Rudy.

Starting point is 16:42:05 A few years before, this intimacy might have led him into indiscretions, into speaking vulgarly or even desiring a drink. But he had learned his riddle of dignity now, and though he observed dandy day, Shorty, he was quick to follow it up unhesitatingly with a Orotund, I trust that you have been able to enjoy the beauty of the vernal foliage in the country this week. So Shorty and his pals went up and down informing the citizenry that Reverend Gantry was a good scout, a prince of a good fellow, but a mighty deep thinker, and a real

Starting point is 16:42:49 honest-to-god orator. When Elmer informed T.J. Rigg of the joys of Rotary, the lawyer, scratched his Chenon suggested, Fine. But look here, Brother Elmer, there's one thing you're neglecting. The really big boys with the long pockets. He got to know them. Many of

Starting point is 16:43:11 Methodists, they'll go out for Episcopalianism or Presbyterianism or Congregationalism or Christian Science. Or stay out of the church altogether. But that's no reason why we can't turn their

Starting point is 16:43:27 money Methodists. You wouldn't find that might a few of these Rotarians in a Tonawanda country club, into which I bought my way by blackmailing, you might say, a wheat speculator. But why, T.J.

Starting point is 16:43:46 Those Rotarians, why, there's a fellow in there, like Trey Runyon, the managing editor of the advocate, and Winn Grant, the realtor. Yeah, but the only owner of the advocate and the banker that's letting Wynne Grant run on till he bankrupts, and the corporation council that keeps them all out of jail,

Starting point is 16:44:08 you don't find those malefactors going to know lunch club and yipping about service. You find them sitting at small tables in the old reunion club and laughing themselves sick about service. And for golf, they go to Tonawanda. I couldn't get you into the Union Club. They wouldn't have any preacher that talks about vice. The kind of preacher that belongs to the Union talks about the new model Cadillac and how hard it is to get genuine Italian vermouth.

Starting point is 16:44:45 But the Tonawanda, they might let you in. For respectability. To prove that they couldn't have the gin they've got in their lockers, in their lockers. It was done, though it took six months and a deal of secret politics conducted by T.J. Rigg.

Starting point is 16:45:07 Wellspring Church, including the pastor of Wellspring, bloomed with pride, that Elmer had been so elevated socially as to be allowed to play golf with bankers. Only he couldn't play golf. While he never appeared on the links, with other players, Elmer took lessons from the Tonawanda professional,

Starting point is 16:45:31 three mornings a week, driving out in the smart new bewee, which he had bought and almost paid for. The professional was a traditionally small, and norrel, and sandy Scotchman from Indiana, and he was so traditionally rude that Elmer put on meekness. "'Port Brach, you do it's, you think there's a church?' "'Snap the professional.' "'Damn it.

Starting point is 16:46:01 "'I always forget, Scotty,' Quined Homer. "'Yes, it must be hard on you to have to train these preachers.' "'Pretures is nothing to me, and millionaires is nothing to me, "'but golf grounds is a lot,' grunted Scotty. "'He was a zealous Presbyterian, "'and to be picturesquely rude to question was as hard for him as it was to keep up the Scotch accent, which he had learned from a real Liverpool Irishman. Elmer was strong. He was placid when he was out of doors, and his eye was

Starting point is 16:46:38 quick. When he first appeared publicly at Tonawanda in a foursome with T.J. Reg and two most respectable doctors, he and his game were watched and commended. he dressed in the locker room, and did not appear to note the square bottle in use ten feet away, he was accepted as a man of the world. William Dolinger Stiles Member of the Tonawanda House Committee, President of the fabulous W.D. Stiles wholesale hardware company, the man who had introduced the bite-edge axe through all the land from Louisville to Detroit, and introduced white knickers to the Tonawanda Club.

Starting point is 16:47:25 This Baron, this Bishop of Business, actually introduced himself to Elmer and made him welcome. Glad to see you here, Dominique. Played much golf? No, I've only taken it up recently, but you bet I'm going to be a real fan from now on. Well, that's fine. tell you how I feel about a reverend. We fellows that have to stick to our desk and make decisions that guide the common people, you religiously and be commercially. It's a good thing for us and throw us for them to go out and get next to nature

Starting point is 16:48:08 and put ourselves in shape to tackle our complicated problems, as I said recently, and then after-dinner speech at the Chamber of Commerce Banquet, and keep a good sane outlook, so we won't be swept away by every breeze of fickle and changing public opinion, and so inevitably. In fact, said Mr. William Doolander-Styles, he liked to golf. Elmer tenderly agreed, yes, that's certainly a fact, certainly is a fact, be a good thing for a whole lot of preachers if they got out and exercised more, instead of always reading. Yes, I wish you'd tell my domine that. Not that I go to church, such a whole lot,

Starting point is 16:48:56 but I'm church treasurer and take kind of an interest. Dorchester Congregational Reverend Shalard. Oh, Frank Shalard! Why, I knew him in theological seminary. Fine, straight, intelligent fellow. Frank? Well, yes. but I don't like the way he's been carrying on,

Starting point is 16:49:21 and almost coming right out and defending, a whole lot of these crooked labor unions. That's why I don't ever hear his sermons, but I can't get the deacons to see it, and as I says, be better for him if he got out dour's more. Well, glad to meet you, Reverend. You must join one of our foresoms some day,

Starting point is 16:49:44 if you can stand a little cussing, maybe. "'Well, I'll try to, sir. Been mighty fine to have met you.' "'H' reflected Elmer. So Frank, the belly-achean highbrow, has got as rich a manned as Stiles in his fold, and Stiles doesn't like him. Wonder if Stiles would turn Methodist.

Starting point is 16:50:09 Wonder if he could be pinched off Frank? I'll ask Rig. But the charm of the place, the day, the impolite social position was such that Elmer turned from these purely religious broodings to more aesthetic thoughts. Rigg had driven home, Elmer sat by himself on the huge porch of the Tanawanda Club, a long gray country house on a hill sloping to the apple-seed river, with tawny fields of barley among orchards on the bank beyond. The golf course was scattered with men

Starting point is 16:50:48 in Harris tweeds, girls in short skirts, which fluttered about their legs. A man in white flannels drove up in a Rose Royce brodster, the only one in Zina there's yet, and Elmer felt ennobled by belonging to the same club with the Rose Royce. On the lawn before the porch,

Starting point is 16:51:10 men with English officer must fashes and pretty women in pale frocks were taking tea at tables under the striped garden umbrellas. Elmer knew none of them, actually, but a few by sight. Golly, I'll be right in with all these swells someday. Must work it careful, not be snooty, and not try to pick them up too quick. A group of weighty-looking men of fifty near him were conversing on the arts and public policy, as he listened, Elmer decided, Yep, Rigg was right.

Starting point is 16:51:48 Those are fine fellows at the Rotary Club. Fine, high-class, educated gentlemen, and certainly raking in the money. Mighty cute in business, but upholding the highest ideals. But they haven't got the class of these really big boys. In Trance, he gave heed to the magnates, a bond broker a mine-owner a lawyer a millionaire lumberman yes sir but the country at large doesn't understand is that the stabilization of sterling has a good effect on our trade with britain i told them that far from refusing to recognize the rights of labor i had myself come up from the ranks to some extent and i was doing all in my power to benefit them

Starting point is 16:52:42 but i certainly did refuse to listen to the cattlewalling of a lot of hired agitators from the so-called union and that if they didn't like the way i did thing yes it opened at seventy three fourteen but knowing what had happened to saris in common yes sir you can depend upon our peers era you certainly can elmer drew a thoughtful passionate shuddering breath at being so nearly in communion with the powers that govern zenith and thought for zenith that governed america and fought for it he longed to stay but he had had but he had the task unworthy of his powers of social decoration, of preparing a short, clever talk on missions among the Digger Indians. As he drove home, he rejoiced, someday I'll be able to put it over with the best of them socially. When I get to be a bishop, believe me, I'm not going to hang around jawing about Sunday school methods, I'll be entertaining the bontan senators and everybody. Cleo would look fine at a big dinner with the right dress if she wasn't so darn prettyish.

Starting point is 16:54:01 Oh, maybe she'll die before then. Hmm, I think I'll marry an Episcopalian. I wonder if I could get an Epistible bishopric if I switched to that nightshirt crowd. More class. No. No. Methodist bigger church, and don't guess the Episcopalians to stand any good red-blooded sermon on vice and all that. Part 2 The Gilfeather Chautauqua Corporation, which conducts week-long Chautauquas in small towns, had not been interested when Elmer had hinted three years ago that he had a message to the youth of America, one worth at least a hundred a week, and that he would be glad. to go right out to the youth and deliver it.

Starting point is 16:54:52 But when Elmer's demolition of all vice and zenith had made him celebrated and even gained him a paragraph or two as the crusading person in New York and Chicago, the Gilfeather Corporation had a new appreciation. They came to him, besieged him, offered him two hundred a week and headlines in the posters for a three-month tour. but elmer did not want to ask the trustees for a three-month leave he had a notion of a summer in europe a year or two from now that extended study of european culture first hand would be just the finishing polish to enable him to hold any pulpit in the country he did however fill in during the late august and early september as substitute for a gullfeather headliner the renowned J. Thurston-Wollett, M-D-O-D-N, who had delighted thousands, with his witty and instructive lecture,

Starting point is 16:55:59 Diet or Die, Nature, or Nix, until he had unfortunately been taken ill at Pauhasie, Iowa, from eating too many green cantalooves. Elmer had planned to spend August with his family in northern Michigan, planned it most uncomfortable, for while it was conceivable to endure Cleo in the city with his work his clubs and Louvre a month with no relief from her solemn, roving face, and cry-baby voice, would be trying even to a professional good man. He explained to her that duty called and departed with speed, stopping only long enough to get several books of inspirational essays from the public libelie. for aid in preparing his Chautauqua lecture. He was delighted with his coming adventure, money, fame, and new quarters,

Starting point is 16:56:58 crowds for whom he would not have to think up fresh personal experiences, and he might find a woman friend, who would understand him, and give to his own solid genius that lighter touch of the feminine. He was, he admitted, almost as tired of Lulu, as of Cleo. He pictured a Chitokwa lady pianist, or soprano, or ventriloquist,

Starting point is 16:57:25 or soloist on the musical saw. He pictured a surprised, thrilled, meeting in the amber light under the canvas roof, recognition between a kindred, fine, and lonely souls. And he found it, of course. Part 3.

Starting point is 16:57:45 Elmer's metaphysical lecture entitled, Whoa Up, Youth, with its counsel about abstinence, chastity, industry, and honesty, its heaven-vaulting poetic passage about love, the only bull on life's dark cloud, the morning and the evening star, and its anecdote of his fight to save a college mate named Jim from drink and atheism became one of the classics among Chautauqua masterpieces. And Elmer, better than anyone else among the talent, except perhaps the gentleman who played national anthems on water classes, a letish gentleman innocent of English,

Starting point is 16:58:28 sidesteped on the question of the KKK. The new Ku Klutz clan, an organization of the father's younger's brothers and employees of the men who had succeeded and become Rotarians, had just become a political difficult. or cult. Many of the most worthy Methodist and Baptist clergymen supported it and were supported by it.

Starting point is 16:58:54 And personally, Thelmer admired its principles to keep all foreigners, Jews, Catholics, and Negroes in their place, which was no place at all, and let the country be led by native Protestants, like the Elmer country. He perceived that in the cities there were prominent people, nice people, rich people, even among the methodists and baptists who felt that a man could be a jew and still an american citizen it seemed to him more truly american also a lot safer to avoid the problem so everywhere he took a message of reconciliation to the effect

Starting point is 16:59:35 regarding religious political and social organizations i defend the right of every man in our free america to organize with his fellows when and as he pleases for any purpose he pleases but i also defend the right of any other free american citizen to demand that such an organization shall not dictate his mode of thought or so long as it be moral is mode of conduct. That pleased both the KKK and the opponents of the KKK, and everybody admired Elmer's powers of thought. He came with a boom and a flash to the town of Blackfoot Creek, Indiana, and there the local committee permitted the Methodist minister, one Andrew Pingilley, to entertain his renowned brother priest. Part 4 Always a little lonely, lost in the ceaseless unfolding of his mysticism,

Starting point is 17:00:40 old Andrew Pendgilly had been the lonelier since Frank Schellard had left him. When he heard that the Reverend Elmer Gantry was coming, Mr. Pindgilly murmured to the local committee that it would be a pleasure to put up Mr. Gantry and save him from the Scurphy Village Hotel. He had read of Mr. Gantry, as an impressive orator, a courageous fighter against sin. Mr. Pindgilly sighed. Himself, somehow, he had never been able to find so very much sin about.

Starting point is 17:01:17 His fault. A silly old dreamer, he rejoiced that he, the Mousy village curé, was about to have here glorifying his cottage a St. Michael in dazzling armor. Part 5 After the evening Chautauqua, Elmer sat in Mr. Pengelly's hollow, and he was graciously condescending. You say, brother Pinn Giller, that you've heard of our work at Wellspring? But do we get so near the hearts of the weak and unfortunate as you hear? Oh, no.

Starting point is 17:01:56 Sometimes I think that my first pastor, in a town smaller than this, was in many ways more blessed than our tremendous to-do in the great city. And what is accomplished there is no credit to me. I have such splendid, such touch and loyal assistance. Mr. Webster, the assistant pastor, such a consecrated worker, and yet right on the job, and Mr. Wink, and Miss Wiesiger, the deaconess, and dear Miss Bundle, the secretary, such a faithful soul, so industrious. Oh, yes, I am singularly blessed.

Starting point is 17:02:37 But given these people who really do the work, we've been able to put over some pretty good things. Why, say, we've started the only class and show window dressing in any church in the United States, and I should suppose England and France. We've already seen the most wonderful results, not only in raising the salary of several of the fine men in our church, but increasing business throughout the city

Starting point is 17:03:06 and improving the appearance of show windows, and you know how much that adds to the beauty of the downtown streets. And the crowds do seem to be increasingly steady. We had over 1,100 present on my last Sunday evening in Zenith, and that in summer, and during the season we often have nearly, 1800 in an auditorium that's only supposed to seat 1600. And with all modesty, it's not my doing, but the methods were working up.

Starting point is 17:03:42 I think I may say that every man, woman, and child goes away happy, and yet with a message to sustain him through the week. You see, or of course I give them the straight old-time gospel in my sermon, I'm not the least bit afraid of talking right up to him and reminding them of the awful consequences of sin and ignorance and spiritual sloth. Yes, sir, no blinking the horrors of the old-time-proven hell. Not in any church I'm running, but also we make him get together, and their pastor is just one of their own chums, and we sing cheerful, comforting songs.

Starting point is 17:04:26 And do they like it? Say, it shows up in the collections. Well, Mr. Gantry, said Andrew Pinguilly, Why don't you believe in God? End of Section 34, Chapter 27. Section 35 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. This is a LibreVox recording. All Labor Vox recordings are in the public domain.

Starting point is 17:05:00 For more information, or to vaughan, volunteer, please visit Libravox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 35, Chapter 28, Part 1. His friendship with Dr. Philip McGarry of the Arbor Church was all, Frank Sheldred Felt, that kept him in the church. As to his round-a-little wife, Bess, and the three respectable children he had for them less passion than compassion, and he could, he supposed, make enough money somehow to care for

Starting point is 17:05:39 them. McGarry was not an extraordinary scholar, not especially eloquent, not remarkably virtuous, but in him there was kindness along with robust humor, the yearning for justice steeled by common sense, and just that quality of authentic good fellowship which the professional good fellows of zenith, whether preachers or shoe-sailsmen, blasphemed against by shouting and guffoying and back-slapping. Women trusted in his strength and his honor. Children were bold with him, men disclosed to him,

Starting point is 17:06:19 their veiled sorrows, and he was more nimble to help them than to be shocked. Frank worshipped him. Himself a bachelor, MacGerry had become an intimate of Frank. Frank's house, he knew where the ice-pig was kept, and were the thermos bottles for picnics. He was as likely as Frank to wash up after late suppers, and if he called, and the elder showers were not in, he slipped upstairs and was found there, scandalously, keeping the children awake by stories of his hunting in Montana and Arizona and Eschaton. It was thus when Frank and Best came home from prayer meeting one evening.

Starting point is 17:07:04 Philip McGarry's own prayer meetings were brief. A good many people said they were as artificial a form of religious as Elmergantries, lively Sunday evenings. But if McGarry did also have the habit of making people sing, smile, smile, smile on all public events, except possibly funerals, at least he was not so insistent. about their shouting it.

Starting point is 17:07:30 They drifted down to the parsonage living room, which Bess had made gay with chances, Frank's studious with portentous books of sociology. Frank sat deep in a chair smoking a pipe. He could never quite get over looking like a youngish college professor who smokes to show what a manly fellow he is. McGarry wondered about the room.

Starting point is 17:07:55 He had a way of pointing arguments by shaking objects of furniture, poker, vases, books, lamps, which was as dangerous as it looked. Oh, I was a rotten at prayer meeting tonight, Frank grumbled. Darn it, I can't seem to go on being interested in the fact that old Mrs. Beeson

Starting point is 17:08:17 finds God such a comfort in her trials. Mrs. Beesham's daughter-in-law doesn't find Mrs. Beesham any comfort in her trials. let me tell you, and yet I don't see how I can say to her, after she's been fluttering around among the angels and advertising how dead certain she is, that Jesus loves her. I haven't quite the nerve to say, Sister, you tight-fisted, poison-tongued, old hellcat,

Starting point is 17:08:48 Why, Frank, from best in placid piety, you go home and forget your popularity in heaven, and ask your son and his wife to forgive you for trying to make them your kind of saint with acidity for the spiritual stomach. Why, Frank, let him rave, Bess, said McCarrie. If a preacher didn't cuss his congregation out once in a while, nobody but St. John would ever be lasted,

Starting point is 17:09:17 and I'll bet he wasn't very good at weekly services and parish visiting. And, went on Frank, tomorrow I've got a funeral, that Henry Simp, weigh 280 pounds from the neck down, and three ounces from the neck up. Perfectly good Christian citizen, who believed that Warren G. Harding was the greatest man since George Washington. I'm sure he never beat his wife. Worthy communicant.

Starting point is 17:09:51 But when his wife came to hire me, she wept like the dickens when she talked about Henry's death. But I noticed from the window that when she went off down the street, she looked particularly cheerful. Yes, Henry was a bulwark of the nation, not to be sneered at by highbrows. And I'm dead certain from something she said that every year they've jipped the government out of every cent they could

Starting point is 17:10:20 on their income tax. and tomorrow I'm supposed to stand up there and tell his friends what a moral example and intellectual titan he was and how the poor little woman is simply broken by sorrow. Well, cheer up. From what I know of her, she'll be married again within six months and if I do a good job of priesting tomorrow,

Starting point is 17:10:44 maybe I'll get the fee. Oh, Lord, Phil, what a job, what a lying, compromising. job this being a minister. It was their hundredth argument over the question McGarry waved a pillow, discarded it for Bess's purse, while he tried to not look alarmed and shouted, it is not. And I heard a big New York preacher say one day, he knew how imperfect the ministry was, and how many second raiders get into it, and yet if he had a thousand lives, he'd want to be a minister of the gospel. to be a man showing the philosophy of jesus to mankind in every one of them and the church universal no matter what is failings is still the only institution in which we can work together to hand on the gospel

Starting point is 17:11:39 maybe it's your fault not the church's young frank if you're so scared of your people that you lie at funerals i don't buy geminy you do buy jimony you do buy jimmy "'My dear Phil, you don't know it. "'No, what you do, you hypnotize yourself "'until you're convinced that every dear departed "'was a model of some virtue. "'And then you rhapsodize about that. "'Well, probably he was. "'Of course.

Starting point is 17:12:14 "'Probably your burglar was a model of courage "'and your gambler, a model of kindness to everybody, "'except the people he robbed. but I don't like being hired to praise burglars and gamblers and respectable lone sharks and food hounds like Henry Semp, and encourage youngsters to accept their standards. And so keep on perpetuating this barbarous civilization for which we preachers are as responsible as the lawyers

Starting point is 17:12:44 or the politicians or the soldiers, or even the schoolmasters. No, sir. Oh, I am going to get out of the church. church, think of it. A preacher, getting religion, getting saved, getting honest, getting out. Then I know the joys of sanctification that you Methodies always talk about. Oh, you make me tired, Beth complained, not very aggressively. She looked at 41, like a plump and amiable girl of 20. Honestly, Phil, I do a delicious. you would show Frank where he's wrong.

Starting point is 17:13:25 I can't, and I've been trying these fifteen years. You have, my lamb. Honestly, Phil, can you make him see it? Said this. He's, of course, I do adore him, but of all the crybabies I ever met, he's the worst of all my children. He talks about going into charity work,

Starting point is 17:13:49 about getting a job with a labor bank or a labor paper, about lecturing, about trying to write. Can you make him see that he'd be just as discontented whatever he did? I'll bet you the labor leaders and radical agitators and the charity organization society people aren't as perfect little angels any more than preachers are. Heaven, I don't expect them to be. I can't expect to be content, Frank protested,

Starting point is 17:14:21 and isn't it a good thing to have a few people who are always yammering? Never get anywhere without. What a joke that a minister who's supposed to have such divine authority that he can threaten people with hell is also supposed to be such an office boy that he can be cussed out and fired if he dares to criticize capitalists or his fellow ministers. Anyway, dear Bess, it's rotten,

Starting point is 17:14:51 on you. I'd like to be a contented sort. I'd like to succeed, to be satisfied with being half honest, but I can't. You see, Phil, I was brought up to believe the Christian God wasn't a sacred and compromising public servant, but the creator, an advocate of the whole merciless truth, and I reckon that training spoiled me. I actually took my teachers seriously. Oh, tut, tut, Frank. Trouble with you is, Philip McGarry on, trouble with you is, you like arguing more than you do patiently working out the spiritual problems

Starting point is 17:15:34 of some poor, dumb, infinitely piteous human being that comes to you for help. And that doesn't care a hoot whether you advocate Zoroastorism or Seventh-day Adventism, so long as he feels that you love him and that you can bring him strength from our power higher than himself. I know that if you could lose your intellectual pride,

Starting point is 17:15:59 if you could forget you have to make a new world better in the creators. Right away tonight, you and Bernard Shaw and H.G. Wells, and H. L. Mangan and Sinclair Lewis. Lord, how that book of Lewis's Main Street did bore me as much of it as I read. it just ramble on forever, and all he could see was that some of the gopher prairie hicks didn't go to literary teas quite as often as he does.

Starting point is 17:16:32 That was all that he could see among those splendid heroic pioneers. Well, as I was saying, if instead of starting in where your congregation has left off, because they never had your chance, you could draw them along. with you. I try to, and let me tell you, young fella, I've got a few of them far enough along, so they're having the sense to leave me in my evangelical church, and go off to the Unitarians, or stay away from church altogether. Thus, best darling, depriving my wife and babes of a few more pennies. But seriously, Phil? A man always says, but seriously, when he feels the previous arguments haven't been so good yet.

Starting point is 17:17:24 Well, maybe. But anyway, what I mean to say is this. Of course my liberalism is all foolishness. Do you know why my people stand for it? They're not enough interested to realize what I'm saying. If I had a successor who was a fundamentalist, they'd like him just as well or better. And they'd go back a-whoopin' to the sacred hellfire that I've coached them out of.

Starting point is 17:17:49 they don't believe i mean it when i take a shot at the fear of eternal punishment and the whole magic and taboo system of worshipping the bible and the ministry and all the other skull decorated vestiges of horror there are in the so-called christianity they don't know it partly it's because they've been trained not to believe anything much they hear in sermons but also it's my fault I'm not aggressive. I ought to jump around like a lunatic or a popular evangelist and shout, Oh, do you understand? When I say that most of a religious opinion are bunk, why what I mean is they're bunk. I've never been violently enough in earnest to be beaten for the sake of the Lord, our God.

Starting point is 17:18:43 Not yet. Ha, there I've got you, Frank, tickles me to see you. you try to be the village, Aeasius, for the sake of the Lord. You just said, How often I've heard you say at parting, God bless you, and you meant it? Oh, no, you don't believe in Christ,

Starting point is 17:19:04 not any more than the Pope at Rome. I suppose that if I said, God damn you, that would also prove that I was a devout Christian. Oh, Phil, I can't understand how man is honest as you, that's really fond of helping people and of tolerating them, can stand being classed with a lot of your fellow preachers and not even kick about it. Think of your going on enduring being a fellow Methodist preacher

Starting point is 17:19:32 right in the same town with Elmer Gantry and not standing up in ministers' meetings and saying, either he gets out or I do. I know. You idiot, don't you suppose those of us that are halfway decent suffer from being classed with gantry, and that we hate him more than you do? But even if Elmer is rather on the swine side, what of it?

Starting point is 17:20:01 Would you condemn a fine aspiring institution, full of broad-gazed, earnest fellows, because one of them was a wash-out? One, just one. I admit that there aren't many, not very many, hogs like gantry in our church or any other, but let me give my loving fraternal opinions of a few others of your splendid Methodist fellows.

Starting point is 17:20:28 Bishop Tumus is a gas bag. Chester Brown, with his candles and chanting, he's merely an Episcopalian who would go over to the Episcopalian church if he weren't afraid he'd lose too much salary in starting again. Just as a good share of the Anglo-Catholic Episcopalians are merely Catholics, who would go over to Rome if they weren't afraid of losing social caste.

Starting point is 17:20:58 Otto Hickenlover with his institutions, the rich who are so moved by his charities, that they hand him money, and Otto gets praised for spending that money. Fine, vicious circle! And think of some poor young idiots. studying art, wasting his time and twisting his ideas at auto-strictly moral art classes, where the teacher has chosen more for his opinions on the sacraments than for his knowledge of composition. But, Frank, I've said, oh, and the sound, the scholarly, the well-balanced Dr. Mayhon Pots. Oh, he's a perfectly good man, and not a fanatic. Doesn't believe that evolution is a fiendish doctor, the only trouble with him, as with most famous preachers,

Starting point is 17:21:50 is that he hasn't the slightest notion what human beings are like. He's insulated, has been ever since he became a preacher. He goes to the deathbeds of prostitutes, but not very often, I'll bet, but he can't understand that perfectly decent husbands and wives often can't get along because of sexual incompatibility. Potts lives in a library. He gets ideas of human motives out of George Eliot and Margaret Deeland and his ideas of economics out of editorials in the advocate,

Starting point is 17:22:30 and his idea as to what he is really accomplishing out of the flattery of his lady's aid. He's a much worse criminal than Cantry. Imagine Elmer has some desire to be a good fellow and share his swag, but Dr. Potts wants to make over an entire world of living, greeting, sweating, loving, fighting human beings, into the likeness of Dr. Potts, taking his afternoon nap and snowing under a shelf of books about the doctrines of the anti-Nicine fathers. Golly, you usually.

Starting point is 17:23:11 simply love us, and I suppose you think I admire all these fellows? Why, they regard me as a heretic from the bishop down, said Philip McGarry, and yet you stay with them. Any other church better? Oh, no, don't think I give all my love to the Methodists. I take them only because they're our particular breed. My own congregationalists, the Baptists, who taught me that immersion is more important and social justice?

Starting point is 17:23:43 The Presbyterians are the Campbell-Life, the whole lot. Oh, I love them all about equally. And what about yourself? What about me? You know what I think about myself, a man too feeble to stand up in risk being called a crank or a vile atheist.

Starting point is 17:24:04 And about you, my young liberal friend, I was just saving you to the last in my exhibit of Methodist Parsons. You're the worst of the lot. Oh, now, Frank, yawned best. She was sleepy, how preachers did talk. Did plasters and authors and stockbrokers sit up half the night, disgusting their souls,

Starting point is 17:24:30 fretting as to whether plastering or authorship or stockbrokering was worthwhile? She yawned again, kissed Frank, patted Philip's cheek, and made exit with, You may be feeble, Frank, but you certainly can talk a strong, rugged young wife to death. Frank, usually to be cowed by her jocos' rumbling in Phil's friendly jabbs, was tonight a fire and unquenchable. Yes, you're the worst of all, Phil.

Starting point is 17:25:04 You do know something of human beings? You're not like old pots, who's always so informative about how much sin there is in the world and always so astonished when he meets an actual sinner. And you don't think it matters a hang, whether a seeker after decency gets ducked, otherwise bad-hart or not. And yet when you get up in a pulpit, from the way you wallow in prayer, people believe that you're just as chummy with the deity as pots or gantry.

Starting point is 17:25:38 Your liberalism never lasts you more than from my health. to the street car. You talk about the golden streets of heaven and the blessed peace of the hereafter, and yet you've admitted to me, time and again, that you haven't the slightest idea whether there is any personal life after death. You talk about redemption and the sacrament of the Lord's supper, and how God helps this nation to win a war and hits that other with a flood, and a lot more things that you don't believe privately at all. Oh, I know, thunder. But you yourself, you pray in church?

Starting point is 17:26:20 Not really. For over a year now I've never addressed a prayer to any definite deity. I say something like, Let us in meditation for getting the worries of daily life, join our spirits to a longing for the coming of perpetual peace. Something like that. Well, it sounds like a pretty, punk prayer to me, Frankie.

Starting point is 17:26:44 The only trouble with you is you feel you're called on to rewrite the Lord's prayer for him. Philip laughed gustily, and slapped Frank's shoulder. Damn it, don't be so jocular. I know it's a poor prayer. It's terrible.

Starting point is 17:27:00 Nebulous, meaningless, like a barker at a new thought side show. I don't mind you're disliking it, but I do mind you're trying to be humorous. Why is it that you lads who defend the church are so facetious when you really get down to discussing the roots of religion? I know, Frank, effect of too much preaching. But seriously, yes, I do say things in the pulpit that I don't mean literally.

Starting point is 17:27:33 But what of it? People understand these symbols. They've been brought up with them. They're comfortable with them. My object in preaching is to teach the art of living as far as I can, to encourage my people, and myself, to be kind, to be honest, to be claimed, to be courageous, to love God and their fellow men. And the whole experience of the church shows that those lessons can best be taught

Starting point is 17:28:04 through such really noble concepts as salvation and the presence of the Holy Ghost and heaven. and so on. Hmm, does it? Has the church ever tried anything else? And just what the dickets do you mean by being clean? And being honest and teaching the art of living. Lord how we preachers do love to use phrases that don't mean anything. But suppose you were perfectly right.

Starting point is 17:28:36 Nevertheless, by using the same theological slang as a gantry or a tumus or a pot, you unconsciously make everybody believe that you think and act like them too. Nonsense. Not that I'm particularly drawn by the charms of any of these fellow-seges. I'd rather be wrecked on a desert island with you, you old atheist, you darn old fool. But suppose they were as bad as you think. I still wouldn't feel it was my duty to foul my own nest, to make this grand old Methodist church

Starting point is 17:29:12 with his saints and heroes like Wesley and Asbury and Quayle and Cartwright and McDowell and McConnell why the tears almost came to my eyes when I think of men like that Look here Suppose you were at war in a famous regiment

Starting point is 17:29:30 Suppose a lot of your fellow soldiers Even the present commander of the regiment himself Were rotters, cowards Would you feel called on to desert or to fight all the harder to make up for their faults? Phil, next to the humorous ragging I spoke of and the use of stale phrases, the worst cancer in religious discussion is the use of the metaphor. The Protestant Church is not a regiment. You are not a soldier.

Starting point is 17:30:04 The soldier has to fight when and as he's told. You have absolute liberty outside of a few moral and doctrinal compulsions. Aha, now I've got you, my logical young friend. If we have that liberty, then why aren't you willing to stay in the church? Oh, Frank, Frank, you are such a fool. I know that you long for righteousness. Can't you see that you can get it best by staying in the church? liberalizing from within, instead of running away and leaving the people to the ministrations of the gantries.

Starting point is 17:30:47 I know. I've been thinking just that all these years. That's why I'm still a preacher, but I'm coming to believe that it's Tommy Trot. When I'm coming to think that the hell-howling old mossbacks corrupt the honest liberals a lot more than the liberals, like in the backwood's minds of the fundamentalists. What the Dickens is the church accomplishing, really? Why have a church at all? What has it for humanity that you won't find in worldly sources, schools, books, conversation?

Starting point is 17:31:29 It has this, Frank. It has the unique personality and teachings of Jesus Christ. And there is something in Jesus, there is something in the way he spoke, there is something in the feeling of a man when he suddenly has that inexpressible experience of knowing the master and his presence, which makes the Church of Jesus different from any other merely human institution or instrument whatsoever. Jesus is not simply greater and wiser than Socrates or Voltaire. He is entirely different.

Starting point is 17:32:02 anybody can interpret and teach Socrates or Voltaire, in schools or books or in conversation, but to interpret the personality and the teachings of Jesus requires an especially called chosen, trained, consecrated body of men, united in an especial institution, the church. Phil, it sounds so splendid, but just what were the personality, and the teachings of Jesus.

Starting point is 17:32:35 I'll admit, it's the heart of the controversy over the Christian religion. Aside from the fact that, of course, most people believe in a church because they were born to it. But the essential query is, did Jesus, if the biblical accounts of him are even half-accurate,

Starting point is 17:32:54 have a particular noble personality, and were his teachings particularly original and profound? You know it's almost important. possible to get people to read the Bible honestly. They've been so brought up to take the church interpretation of every word that they read into it whatever they've been taught to find there. It's been so with me, up to the last couple of years, but now I'm becoming a quarter-free,

Starting point is 17:33:22 and I'm appalled to see that I don't find Jesus and especially admirable character. He is picturesque, he tells Flindus. stories, he's a good fellow and fond of low company. In fact, the idea of Jesus, whom the bishops of his day cursed as a rounder and a wine-bibber, being chosen as the god of the prohibitionist is one of the funniest twists in history. But he's vain, he praises himself outrageously, he's fond of astonishing people by little magical tricks which we have been taught to revere as miracles. He is furious as a child in a tantrum when people don't recognize him as a great leader.

Starting point is 17:34:09 He loses his temper. He blasts the poor barren fig tree when it doesn't feed him. What minds people have? They hear preachers proving by the Bible the exact opposites, that the Roman Catholic Church is divinely ordained, and that it is against all divine ordinances, and it never occurs to them, that far from the Christian religion, or any other religion, being a blessing to humanity, it's produced such confusion in all thinking,

Starting point is 17:34:43 such second-hand viewing of actualities that only now are we beginning to ask what and why we are and what we can do with life. Just what are the teachings of Jesus, did he come to bring peace, or more war. He says both.

Starting point is 17:35:05 Did he approve earthly monarchies or rebel against them? He says both. Did he ever think of it, God himself, taken on human form to help the earth? Did he ever suggest sanitation, which would have saved Milium from plagues? And you can't say his failure there was because he was too lofty to consider,

Starting point is 17:35:29 mere sickness? On the contrary, he was awfully interested in it, always healing someone, providing they flattered his vanity enough. What did he teach? One place in the sermon on the mount he advises, let me get my Bible. Here it is. Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your father which is in heaven. And then five minutes, later he's saying, Take heed, that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them,

Starting point is 17:36:07 otherwise ye have no reward of your father, which is in heaven. Now that's an absolute contradiction in the one document, which is this charter of the whole Christian church. Oh, I know, you can reconcile them, Phil. That's the whole aim of the ministerial training, to teach us to reconcile contradictions by saying that one of them doesn't mean what it means,

Starting point is 17:36:35 and it's always a good stunt, to throw in, you would understand it if you only read it in the original Greek. There's just one thing that does stand out clearly uncontradicted in Jesus' teaching. He advocated a system of economics, whereby no one saved money or stored up wheat, or did anything but live like a tramp. If this teaching of his had been accepted, the world would have been starved in twenty years after his death.

Starting point is 17:37:08 No, wait, Phil, just one second, and then I'm through. He talked till dawn. Frank's last protest as they stood on the steps and the cold greenness was, my objection to the church isn't that the preachers are cruel, hypocritical, actually wicked, though some of them are. are that, too. Think of how many are arrested for selling fake stock, for seducing 14-year-old girls in the orphanage under their care, for arson, for murder. And it isn't so much that the church is in bondage to big business and doctrines as laid down by millionaires, though a lot of churches

Starting point is 17:37:50 are that, too. My chief objection is that 99% of sermons and Sunday school teachings are so agonizingly dull. End of Section 35, Chapter 28. Section 36 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. This is a Librevox recording. All LibreVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibreVox. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 36, Chapter 29, Part 1 through 6, Part 1. However impatient he was with Frank, Philip McGarry's last wish was to set Elmer Gantry, piously baying on Frank's trail. It was rather an accident. Philip sat next to Elmer at a dinner to discuss missionary funds, he remembered that Frank and Elmer had been classmates, and with a

Starting point is 17:39:00 sincerely affectionate, it's too bad the poor boy worries, though, over what are really matters of faith. He gave way to Elmer most of Frank's heresies. Now, in the bustle of raising funds to build a vast new church, Elmer had forgotten his notion of saving the renowned hardware impresario, Mr. William Drolinger Stiles, and his millions, from contamination by Frank's blasphemies. We could use old styles. And you could get some fine publicity by attacking Schallard's attempt to steal your Jesus and even hell away from us, said Elmer's confidant, Mr. T. J. Rigg, when he said, he was consulted.

Starting point is 17:39:47 Say, that's great. How liberalism leads to atheism. Fine. Wait till Mr. Frank Shalard opens his mouth and puts his foot in it again, said the Reverend Elmer Gantry. Say, I wonder how we could get a report of his sermons. The poor fish aren't important enough so as they very often report his junk in the newspapers.

Starting point is 17:40:13 I'll take care of that. I've got a girl in my office, good fast worker, that I'll have go and take down all his sermons. They'll just think she's practicing stenography. Well, by golly, that's one good use for sermons, ha, ha, ha, said Elmer. Yes, sir, by golly. Found at last, ha, ha, ha, ha, said Mr. T.J. Rig. In less than a month, Frank maddened the citizens of his. zenith by asserting in the pulpit, that though he was in favor of temperance, he was not for prohibition,

Starting point is 17:40:53 that the methods of the anti-saloon league were those of a lumber lobby. Elmer had his chance. He advertised that he would speak on fake preachers and who they are. In his sermon he said that Frank Schallard, by name, was a liar, a fool, and indebted. greet whom he had tried to help in seminary, a thief who was trying to steal Christ from an alien world. The newspapers were pleased and explicit. Elmer saw to it, T.J. Riggs arranged a foursome that he played golf with, William Drollinger, Stiles, that week. I was awfully sorry to hear Mr. Stiles, he said, to feel it by duty to jump on your pastor, Mr. Schallard last Sunday. But when a fellow stands up and makes fun of Jesus Christ, well, it's time to forget mercy.

Starting point is 17:41:55 I thought you were kind of hard on him. I didn't hear his sermon myself. I'm a church member, but it does seem like things pile up so at the office that I have to spend almost every Sunday morning there. But from what they've told me, he wasn't so wild. then you don't think Shalard is practically an atheist? Why, no. Nice, decent, fella. Mr. Stiles, do you realize that all over town people are wondering how a man like you can give his support to a man like Shalard?

Starting point is 17:42:34 Do you realize that not only the ministers but also laymen are saying that Shalard is secretly both an agnostic and a socialist, though he's afraid to come out and admit it. I hear it everywhere. People are afraid to tell you, Jiminy, but I'm kind of scared of you myself. Feel I've got a lot of nerve. Well, I ain't so fierce, said Mr. Stiles, very pleased. Any way I'd hate to have you think I was sneaking around Deming Schallard behind his back, Why don't you do this? You and some other Dorchester deacons have showered for lunch or dinner, and have me there and let me put a few questions to him.

Starting point is 17:43:21 I'll talk to the fellow straight. Do you feel you can afford to be known as tolerating an infidel in your church? Not you to make him come out from undercover and admit what he thinks. If I'm wrong, I'll apologize to you and to him, and you can call me all kinds of nosy, meddling, cranky, interfering fool you want to. Well, he seems kind of a nice fellow. Mr. Stiles was uncomfortable, but if you're right about his being really an infidel, don't knows how I could stand that. How'd it be if you and some of your deacons and shallard came and had dinner with me in a private room

Starting point is 17:44:04 at the Athletic Club next Friday evening? Well, all right. Part 2. Frank was so simple as to lose his temper when Elmer bullied him, broared at him, bulk at him, long enough with Frank's own deacons accepting Elmer as an authority. He was irritated out of all caution, and he screamed back at Elmer that he did not accept Jesus Christ as divine,

Starting point is 17:44:32 that he was not sure of a future life, that he wasn't even certain of a personal God. Mr. William Doolinger-Styles snapped. Then just say why, Mr. Shalard, don't you get out of the ministry before you're kicked out? Well, because I'm not sure yet. Though I do think... Our present churches are as absurd as a belief in witchcraft,

Starting point is 17:44:57 yet I believe there could be a church free of superstition. Helpful to the needy? And giving people that mystics something stronger than reason. that since of being uplifted in common worship of an unknowable power for good. Myself, I'd be lonely with nothing but bleak debating societies. I think, at least I still think, that for many souls, there is this need of worship, even a beautiful ceremonial, mystic needs of worship, unknowable power for good, words, words, words, words,

Starting point is 17:45:36 milk and water. That, when you have the glorious certain figure of Jesus Christ to worship and follow, bellowed Elmer, pardon me, gentlemen, for intruding, but it makes me, not as a preacher, but just as a humble and devout Christian, sick to my stomach to hear a fellow feel that he knows so blame much that he's able to throw out of the window the Christ that the whole civilized world has believed in for countless centuries, and try to replace him with a lot of gassy phrases. Excuse me, Mr. Stiles. But after all, religion is a serious business. And if we're going to call ourselves Christians at all, we have to bear testimony to the

Starting point is 17:46:24 proven fact of God. Forgive me. That's all right, Mr. Gantry. I know just how you feel, said Stiles. and while I'm no authority on religion, I feel the same way you do, and I guess these other gentlemen do too. Now, Shalard, you're entitled to your own views, but not in our pulpit. Why don't you just resign before we kick you out? You can't kick me out. It takes the whole church to do that.

Starting point is 17:46:59 The whole church will damn well do it. You watch them. said Deacon William Dullinger-Styles. Part four. What'd be going to do, dear? Bess said Wirily. I'll stand by you, of course, but let's be practical. Don't you think it would make less trouble

Starting point is 17:47:19 if you did resign? I've done nothing for which to resign. I've led a thoroughly decent life. I haven't lied or been indecent or stolen. I've preached imagination, happiness, justice, seeking for the truth. I'm no sage, heaven knows,

Starting point is 17:47:38 but I've given my people a knowledge that there are such things as ethnology and biology, that there are books like Ethan Fromm and Per Giro, and Tonobunge. And renunce Jesus. That there is nothing wicked in looking straight at life. Here, I said, practical. Oh, thunder, I don't know.

Starting point is 17:48:02 I think I didn't get a job. job in the charity organization society here. The general secretary happens to be pretty liberal. I hate to have us leave the church entirely. I'm sort of at home here. Why not see if they'd like to have you in the Unitarian Church? Too respectable. Scared. Same old sanctified phrases I'm trying to get rid of and won't ever quite get rid of. I'm afraid. Part five. A meeting of the church body had been called to decide on Frank's worthiness, and the members had been informed by Stiles that Frank was attacking all religion. Instantly, a number of adherents who had been quite unalarmed by what they themselves had heard in the pulpit,

Starting point is 17:48:53 perceived that Frank was a dangerous fellow and more than likely to injure omnipotent God. Before the meeting, one woman who remained fond of, of him fretted to Frank. Oh, can't you understand what a dreadful thing you're doing to question the divinity of Christ and all? I'm afraid you're going to hurt religion permanently. If you can open your eyes and see if you could only understand what my religion has meant to me in times of despair. I don't know what I would have done during my typhoid without that consolation. You're a bright, smart men when you let yourself be if you'd only go and have a good talk with Dr. G. Prosper Edwards. He's an older man than you, and he's a doctor of divinity, and he has such huge crowds at Pilgrim Church,

Starting point is 17:49:49 and I'm sure he would show you where you're wrong and make everything perfectly clear to you. Frank's sister, married now to an Akron lawyer, came to stay with them. They had been happy, Frank and she, in the tepid but amiable house of their minister-father. They had played at church with dolls and salt sellers for congregation. Books were always about them, natural to them, and at their father's table they had heard doctors, preachers, lawyers, politicians talk of high matters. The sister bubbled to best. You know, Frankie doesn't believe half of what he says. He just likes to show up. He's a real good Christian at heart. If he only knew it, why he was such a good Christian boy,

Starting point is 17:50:41 he led the B-Y-P-U. He couldn't even have drifted away from Kist into all this nonsense that nobody takes seriously, except a lot of long-haired dirty cranks, and he'll break his father's heart. I'm going to have to have a good talk with that young man and bring him to his senses. On the street, Frank met the great Dr. McTiger, pastor of the Royal Ridge Presbyterian Church.

Starting point is 17:51:11 Dr. McTiger had been born in Scotland, graduated in Edinburgh, and he, secretly, not too secretly, despised all American universities and seminaries and their alumni. He was a large, impatient, brusque man, renowned for the length of his sermons. I hear, young man, he shouted at Frank, that you have read one whole book on the pre-Christian mysteries and decided that our doctrines are secondhand and that you are now going to destroy the church. You should have more pity. With the loss of a profound intellect like yours, my young friend, I should doubt if the church can stagger on. It's a pity.

Starting point is 17:52:01 after discovering scholarship you didn't go on and get enough of that same scholarship to perceive that by the wondrous benefits of God's mercy, the early church was led to combine many alien factors in the one perfection of the Christian brotherhood. I don't know whether it's ignorance of the church history or lack of humor that chiefly distinguishes you, my young friend. Oh, and sin no more. From Andrew Hinkilly came a scrawled, shaky letter, begging Frank to stand true, and not deliver his appointed flock to the devil.

Starting point is 17:52:46 That hurt. Part 6 The first church business meeting did not settle the question of Frank's remaining. He was questioned about his doctrines, and he shocked them by being candid. But the men whom he had helped, the woman whom he had consoled in sickness, the fathers who had gone to him when their daughters had gotten into trouble, stood by him for all the threats of Stiles. A second meeting would have to be called before they took a vote. When Elmer read of this, he galloped to T.J. Rig.

Starting point is 17:53:24 Here's our chance, he gloated. If the first meeting had kicked Frank out, Stiles might have stayed with their church, though I do think he likes my brand of theology and my Republican politics. But why don't you go to him now, T.J., and hint around about his church has insulted him. All right, Elmer, another soul saved. Brother Stiles has still got the first dollar he ever earned, but maybe we can get ten cents of it away from him for the new church. on him being so much richer than I,

Starting point is 17:54:01 I hope you won't go to him for spiritual advice and inspiration instead of me. Well, you bet I won't, T.J. Nobody has ever accused Elmer of being disloyal to his friends. My only hope is that your guidance of this church has been of some value to you yourself. Well, yes, yes, in a way, I've had three Brother Methodist clients, from Wilspring come to me, to burglary and one forgery. But it's more that I just like to make the wheels go round. Mr. Rigg was saying an hour later to Mr. William Dolinger-Styles,

Starting point is 17:54:41 If you came and joined us, I know you'd like it. You've seen what a fine, upstanding two-fisted 100% e-man, Dr. Cantry is, absolutely sound about business, and would be a swell rebrand. to your church for not accepting your advice. We hate to invite you to come over to us. In fact, Dr. Gantry absolutely forbade me to see you, for fair that you'll think it was just because you're rich. For three days, Stiles shied.

Starting point is 17:55:20 Then he was led trembling up to the harness. Afterward, Dr. G. Prosper Edwards of Pilgrimbing, Congregational, said to his spouse, Why on earth, didn't we think of going right after Stiles and inviting him to join us? It was quite so simple, we never even thought of it. I really do feel quite cross. Why didn't you think of it?

Starting point is 17:55:49 End of Section 36. Section 37 of Elmer Gantry by St. Clair-Luus. This is a Libravox recording. All LibraVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Libravox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 37. Chapter 29, Part 7 through 12. Part 7. The second church meeting was postponed.

Starting point is 17:56:26 It looked to Elmer as though Frank would be able to stay on in Dorchester, congregational, and thus defy Elmer as the spiritual and moral leader of the city. Elmer acted fearlessly. In sermon after certain he spoke of that bunch of atheists out there at Dorchester. Frank's parishioners were alarmed. They were forced to explain. Only they were never quite sure what they were explaining. To customers, to neighbors, to fellow lodge members.

Starting point is 17:56:59 They felt disgraced. and so it was that a second meeting was called. Now Frank had fancied a spectacular resignation. He heard himself, standing before a startled audience proclaiming, I have decided that no one in this room, including your pastor, believed in the Christian religion. Not one of us would turn the other cheek. Not one of us would sell all that he has and give it to the poor.

Starting point is 17:57:27 Not one of us would give his coat. to someone who took his overcoat. Every one of us lays up all the treasure he can. We don't practice the Christian religion. We don't intend to practice it. Therefore, we don't believe in it. Therefore, I resign, and I advise you to quit lying and disband. He saw himself, then, tramping down the aisle among his gaping hearers,

Starting point is 17:57:59 and leaving the church forever. But I am too tired, too miserable, and why hurt the poor bewildered souls, and I am so tired. He stood up in the beginning of the second meeting and said gently, I had refused to resign. I still feel I have an honest right to an honest pulpit,

Starting point is 17:58:20 but I am setting brother against brother, I am not a cause, I am only a friend. I have loved you and the work, the sound of friends singing together, the happiness of meeting on leisurely Sunday mornings. This I give up. I resign, and I wish I could say, God be with you and bless you all. But the good Christians have taken God and made him into a menacing bully, and I cannot even say God bless you during this last moment,

Starting point is 17:58:54 in a life given altogether to religion, when I shall ever stand in a pulpit. Elmore Gantra, in his next sermon, said that he was so broad-minded that he would be willing to receive an infidel shattered into his church, providing he repented. Part 8. When he found that he liked the charity organization society and his work, in that bleak institution no better than his work in the church, Frank laughed.

Starting point is 17:59:27 As best said, a consistent malcontent. Well, I am consistent anyway, and to relieve not to be a preacher anymore, not to have to act sanctimonious, not to have men consider you an old woman in trousers, to be able to laugh without watching its effect. Frank was given charge at the C.OS of a lodging house, a woodyard at which hoboes worked for two hours daily to pay for lodging and breakfast and an employment bureau. He knew little about scientific charity, so he was shocked by the icy manner in which his subordinates, the aged virgin at the inquiry desk, the boss at the woodyard, the clerk at the lodging house,

Starting point is 18:00:16 the young lady, who asked the applicants about the religion, and vices, treated the shambling unfortunates as criminals who had deliberately committed the crime of poverty. They were as efficient and as tender as vermin exterminators.

Starting point is 18:00:36 In this acid perfection, Frank longed for the mystery that claims to even the dearest or politest tabernacle. He fell in the way of going often to the huge St. Dominic's Catholic Church of which the elegant Father de Pina was pastor,

Starting point is 18:00:56 with Father Matthew Smeeseby, the new sort of American State University-bred priest, as assistant pastor and liaison officer. St. Dominic's was for Zenith, an ancient edifice, and the coal smoke from the south Zenith factories had aged the greystone to a semblance of historic centuries. The interior, with its dim,

Starting point is 18:01:21 irregularity its lofty roof, the curious shrines, the mysterious door, at the top of a flight of stone steps, unloosed Frank's imagination. It touched him to see the people kneeling it. Any hour, he had never known a church to which the plain people came for prayer. Despite its dusky magnificence, they seemed to find in the church their home, and when he saw the golden, in crimson of solemn high mass blazing at the end of the dark aisle, with the crush of people visibly believing in the presence of God, he wondered if he had indeed found the worship he had fumblingly sought. He knew that you believe literally in purgatory, and the immaculate conception, the real presence and the authority of the hierarchy was impossible for him as to believe in

Starting point is 18:02:21 Zeus. But, E. Podrick, isn't it possible that the whole thing is so gorgeous a fairy tale, that to criticize it would be like trying to prove that Jack did not kill the giant? No sane priest would expect a man of some education to think that sane masses had any effect on souls in purgatory that expect them to take the whole thing as one takes a symphony. and oh, I am lonely for the fellowship of the church. He sought a consultation with Father Matthew Smeesey. He had met as fellow ministers at many dinners.

Starting point is 18:03:04 The good father sat at a Grand Rapids desk in a room altogether business-like, save for a carved Bavarian cupboard and a crucifix on the barren plester wall, Smeesby was a man of forty, a crisper philippe, MacGarie. You were an American university, man, weren't you, father? asked Frank. Yes, University of Indiana, played halfback. Then I should think I can talk to you.

Starting point is 18:03:33 It seems to me that so many of your priests are not merely foreign by birth, Poles, and white not, but they look down on American mores and want to mold us in their ideas and ways. but you tell me would it be conceivable for an i won't say an intelligent but at least reasonably well-read man like myself who finds it quite impossible to believe one word of your doctrines but who is also tremendously impressed by your ritual and the spirit of worship could such a man be received into the roman catholic church honestly with the understanding to him that you your dog ones are nothing but simple? Most certainly not. Don't you? You know any priests who love the church

Starting point is 18:04:27 that don't literally believe all the doctrines? I do not. I know no such person, Shallard. You can't understand the authority and resemblance of the church. You're not ready to. You think too much of your puerile powers of reasoning. You don't have enough.

Starting point is 18:04:48 divine humility to comprehend the ages of wisdom that have gone to building up this fortress, and you stand outside its walls, one pitifully lonely little figure, blowing the trumpet of your egotism, and demanding of this century, let me talk to your commander. I am graciously inclined to assist him, only he must understand that I think his granite walls are pasteboard, and I reserve the right to blow them down when I get tired of them. Man, if you were a prostitute or a murderer, and came to me saying, Can't I be saved?

Starting point is 18:05:32 I'd cry, yes, and give my life to helping you. But you're obsessed by a worse crime than murder, pride of intellect, and yet you haven't such an awfully overpowering intellect to be proud of him. up. And I'm not sure, but that's the worst crime of all. Good day, he added, as Frank ragingly opened the door, Go home and pray for simplicity. Go home and pray that I may be made like you. Pray to have your humility and your manners, said Frank. It was a fortnight later that for his own satisfaction, Frank sat down in a notebook

Starting point is 18:06:16 which he had always carried for sermon ideas, which he still carried for the sermons, they would never let him preach again, a conclusion. The Roman Catholic Church is superior to the militant Protestant Church. It does not compel you to give up your sense of beauty, your sense of humor,

Starting point is 18:06:35 or your pleasant vices. It merely requires you to give up your honesty, your reason, your heart, and soul. Part 9. frank had been with the charity organization society for three years and he had become assistant general secretary at the time of the dayton evolution trial it was at this time that the brisker conservative clergyman saw that their influence and oratory and incomes were threatened by any authentic learning A few of them were so intelligent as to know that not only was biology dangerous to their positions, but also history, which gave no very sanctified reputation to the Christian church.

Starting point is 18:07:27 Astronomy, which found no convenient heaven in the skies, and snickered politely at the notion of making the sun stand still in order to win a Jewish border skirmish. Psychology, which doubted these circumstances. superiority of a Baptist preacher, fresh from the farm to trained laboratory researchers, and all the other sciences of a modern university. They saw that a proper school should teach nothing but bookkeeping, agriculture, geometry, dead languages, and made deader by living out all the amusing

Starting point is 18:08:05 literature, and the Hebrew Bible, as interpreted by men superbly trained to ignore contradictions. Men technically called fundamentalists. This perception, the clergy and their most admired laymen, expressed in quick action. They formed half a dozen competent

Starting point is 18:08:25 and well-financed organizations to threaten rustic state legislators with political failure and bribed them with anxious clerical praise so that these backstreet and backwood solons would forbid the teacher,

Starting point is 18:08:41 in all state-supported schools and colleges of anything, which was not approved by the evangelist. It worked edifyingly. To oppose them, they were organized a few groups of scholars. One of these organizations asked Frank to speak for them. He was delighted to feel an audience before him again, and he got leave from the Zenith Charity Organization Society for a lecture tour.

Starting point is 18:09:12 He came excitedly and proudly to his first assignment in a roaring modern city in the southwest. He loved the town, really believed that he came to it with a message. He tasted the western air greedily, admired the buildings flashing up where, but yesterday had been prairie. He smiled from the hotel bus when he saw a poster which announced that the Reverend Frank Shalard

Starting point is 18:09:39 would speak on are the fundamentalist witch hunters at central labor hall, auspices of the League for Free Science. Boy, fighting again, I've found that religion I've been looking for. He peered out for other posters. They were all defaced. At his hotel was a note, typed, anonymous. Quote, we don't want you and your hellish atheism. We can think for ourselves without any important liberals, close quote.

Starting point is 18:10:15 If you enjoy life, you will better be out of this decent Christian city before evening. God help you if you aren't. We have enough mercy to give you warning, but enough of God's justice, to see you get yours right if you don't listen. Blasphemers, get what they ask for. We wonder if you would like the feeling of a black snake across your lion face. The committee. Frank had never known physical conflict more violent than boyhood wrestling.

Starting point is 18:10:55 His hand shook. He tried to sound defiant with, They can't scare me. His telephone and a voice. This is shallard. Well, this is a brother preacher speaking. Name don't matter. I just want to tip you off that you had better not speak tonight.

Starting point is 18:11:13 Some of the boys are pretty rough. Then Frank began to know the joy of anger. The whole of his lecture was half-filled when he looked across the ice-water pitcher on the speaker's table. At the front were the provincial intellectuals, most of them very eager, most of them dreadfully poor. A Jewish girl librarian with hungry eyes, a crippled tailor, a spectacle doctor sympathetic to radical disturbances, but too good a surgeon to be driven out of town.

Starting point is 18:11:48 There was a waste of empty seats, then, and at the back of the group of solid prosperous scowling burgers, with a Leonine man who was either an actor, a congressman, or a popular clergyman. this respectable group grumbled softly and hissed a little as Frank nervously began. America, he said, in its laughter at the monkey trial at Dayton, did not understand the veritable menace of the fundamentalists crusade. Outrageous! From the Leonine gentlemen. They were mild enough now,

Starting point is 18:12:27 but they spoke in the name of virtue, but give them rope, and there would be a new inquisition, a new hunting of witches. We might not live to see men burn to death for refusing to attend Protestant churches. Frank quoted the fundamentalists who asserted that evolutionists were literally murderers, because they killed Orthodox faith, and ought therefore to be lynched. William Jennings Bryan was his proposal that any American who took a drink outside the country should be exiled for life. Now that's how these men speak with so little power as yet,

Starting point is 18:13:08 Frank pleaded. Use your imaginations. Think how they would rule this nation and compel the more easy-going, half-liberal clergy, to work with them if they had the power. There were constant grunts of, That's a lie. They ought to shut him up from the back.

Starting point is 18:13:26 And now Frank saw, marching into the hall, A dozen tough young men, they stood ready for action, looking expectantly toward the line of prosperous Christian citizens. And you have, here in your own city, Frank continued, a minister of the gospel who enjoys bellowing that anyone who disagrees with him is a Judas. That's enough, cried someone in the back, and the young Tufts galloped down the aisle toward Frank,

Starting point is 18:13:59 their eyes hot with cruelty, teeth like a fighting dog's, hands working, he could feel them at his neck. They were met and held a moment by the sympathizers in the front. Frank saw the crippled tailor knocked down by a man who stepped on the body as he charged on. With a curious lassitude, more than with any fear, Frank sighed, Hang it, I've got to join the fight and get killed. He started down from the platform. The chairman seized his shoulders. No, don't.

Starting point is 18:14:34 You'll be getting beaten to death. We need you. Come here. Come here. This back door. Frank was thrust through a door into a half-lighted alley. A motor was waiting and, by it, two men. One of them cried, right in here, brother.

Starting point is 18:14:50 It was a large sedan. It seemed security, alive. But as Frank started to climb in, he noted that the man at the wheel, then looked closer at the others, the man at the wheel had no lips but only a bitter, dried line across his face, the face of an executioner. Of the other two, one was like an unreformed bartender, with curly mustache and a barber's lock. One was gone with insane eyes.

Starting point is 18:15:21 Who are you, fellows? he demanded. "'Shut your damn trap and get the hell in there,' said the bartender, pushing Frank into the back of the car so that he fell with his head on the cushion. The insane man scrambled in and a car was off. "'We told you to get out of town. We gave you your chance. By God, you'll learn something now. You goddamn atheist and probably a damn socialist or IWW2,' the seeming bar, bartender said, See this gun?

Starting point is 18:15:57 He stuck it into Frank's side most painfully. We may decide to let you live. If you keep your mouth shut and do what we tell you to, and again, we may not. You're going to have a nice ride with us. Just think what fun you're going to have when you get in the country alone, where it's nice and dark and quiet.

Starting point is 18:16:20 He placidly lifted his hands and gouged Frank's cheek with his strong fingernails. I won't stand it, screamed Frank. He rose struggling. He felt the gaunt fanatic's fingers, just two fingers, demon-strong, close on his neck, dig in with pain that made him sick. He felt the bartender's fist,

Starting point is 18:16:43 mashing his jaw. As he slumped it down, limp against the forward seat, half fainting, he heard the bartender chuckle. Ha ha, ha. That'll give the black. Blank, blank of a blank, some idea of the fun we'll have, watching him squirm by me. The gaunt one snapped. The boss said not to cuss. Cuss hell. I don't pretend to be any tin angel. I've done a lot of tough things. But by God, when a fellow pretending to be a minister

Starting point is 18:17:15 comes sneaking around trying to make fun of the Christian religion, the only chance us poor devils have to become decent again, then, by God, it's time to show, we've got some guts and appreciation. The pseudo-bartender spoke with the smugly, joyous tones of any crusader, given a chance to be fiendish for moral reason, and placidly, raising his leg,

Starting point is 18:17:42 he bought his heel down on Frank's instep. When the cloud of pain had cleared from his head, Frank set rigid. What would best in the kids do, if these men killed him. Would they beat him much before he died? The car left the highway, followed a country road that ran along a lane,

Starting point is 18:18:01 through what seemed to Frank to be a cornfield. It stopped by a large tree. Get out, snapped the gaunt man. Mechanically, his legs limp. Frank staggered out. He looked up at the moon. Is this the last time I'll ever see the moon? See the stars?

Starting point is 18:18:20 hear voices, never again to walk on a fresh morning? What are you going to do, he said, hated them too much to be afraid? Well, dearie, said the driver, with a drug so chocosity, you're going to take a little walk with us, back here in the fields of waves. Hail, said the bartender, let's hang him. Here's a swell tree. Use the towrope. No, from the ground. drunk man, just hurt him enough so he'll remember, and then he can go back and tell his atheist friend, it ain't healthy, for him to be in real Christian parts.

Starting point is 18:19:02 Move you, Frank walked in front of them, ghastly silent. They followed a path through the cornfield to a hollow. The crickets were noisily cheerful, the moon serene. "'This'll do,' snarled the gaunt one. Then to Frank, Now get ready to feel good. He set his pocket electric torch on a clod of earth. In this light, Frank saw him draw from his pocket a coiled black leather whip, a whip for mules.

Starting point is 18:19:34 Next time, said the gauntlet, slowly, next time you come back, y'all, we'll kill you. And any other yell a traitor in stinking and e'all. atheist like you. Tell them all that. This time we won't kill you. Not quite. Oh, quit talking and let's get

Starting point is 18:19:59 busy, said the bartender. All right. The bartender caught Frank's two arms behind, bending them back, almost breaking them, and suddenly with a pain appalling and unbelievable, the whip slashed across Frank's cheek,

Starting point is 18:20:16 cutting it, and instantly, it came Again, again, in a darkness of reeling pain. Part 10. Consciousness returned waveringly as dawn crawled over the cornfield, and the birds were derisive. Frank's only clear emotion was a longing to escape from this agony by death. His whole face reeked with pain. He could not understand why he could scarce see. When he fumblingly raised his hand, he discovered that he had His right eye was a pulp of blind flesh, and along his jaw he could feel the exposed bone.

Starting point is 18:20:57 He staggered along the path through the cornfield, stumbling over hammocks, lying there sobbing, muttering, bess! Oh, come, Bess! His strength lasted him just to the high road, and he sloped to earth, lay by the road like a drunken beggar. A motor was coming, but when the driver saw Frank's feebly uplifted arm, he sped on. Pretending to be hurt was a device of hold up me. Oh, God, won't anybody help me? Frank whispered.

Starting point is 18:21:32 And suddenly he was laughing. A choking, twisted laughter. Yes, I said it, Philip. God, I said, I suppose it proves that I'm a good Christian. He rocked and crawled. along the road to a cottage. There was a light, a farmer at early breakfast. At last, Frank wept. And when the farmer answered the knock, holding up a lamp, he looked once at Frank, then screamed and slammed the door. An hour later, a motorcycle policeman

Starting point is 18:22:07 found Frank in the ditch in half delirium. Another drunk, said the policeman, most cheerfully, snapping this support in place on his cycle. But as he stooped and saw Frank's half-hidden face, he whispered, Good God Almighty! Part 11. The doctor told him that though the right eye has gone completely, he might not entirely lose sight of the other for perhaps a year. Bess did not shriek when she saw him. She only stood with her hand shakily at her breast. She seemed to hesitate before kissing what had been his mouth. But she spoke cheerfully,

Starting point is 18:22:51 Don't you worry about a single thing. I'll get a job that'll keep us going. I've already seen the General Secretary at the C.OS. And isn't it nice that the kitties are old enough now to read aloud to you? To be read aloud to the rest of his life. Part 12 Elmer called and raged. This is the most outrageous thing I've ever heard of in my life, Frank.

Starting point is 18:23:19 Believe me, I'm going to give the fellows that did this to you the most horrible beating they ever got right from my pulpit. Even though it may hinder me in getting money for my new church, say, we're going to have a bang-up plant there, right up to date, cost over half a million dollars, seat over two thousand. But nobody can shut me up. i'm going to denounce those fiends in a way they'll never forget and that was the last elmer is known ever to have said on this subject privately or publicly end of section thirty seven section thirty eight of elmer gantry by sinclair lewis this is a libravox recording all liverbox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please to visit libravox

Starting point is 18:24:19 org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 38, Chapter 30, Part 1 The Reverend Elmer Gantry was in his oak and Spanish leather study at the Great New Wellspring Church. The building was of cheerful brick trimmed with limestone. It had gothic windows, a carillon in the square stone tower, dozens of Sunday school rooms, a gymnasium, a social room with a stage and a motion picture booth,

Starting point is 18:24:55 an electric range in the kitchen, and over at all a revolving electric cross and a debt. But the debt was being attacked. Elmer had kept on the professional church money razor whom he had employed during the campaign for the building fund. This financial crucial crusader was named Emmanuel Davitsky. He was said to be the descendant of a noble Polish Catholic family converted to Protestantism, and certainly he was a most enthusiastic Christian, except possibly at Passover Eve. He had raised money for Presbyterian churches, YMCA buildings, congregational colleges, and dozens of other holy purposes. He did merely, miracles with card indices of rich people, and he is said to have been the first ecclesiastical

Starting point is 18:25:54 go-getter to think of inviting Jews to contribute to Christian temples. Yes, Emmanuel would take care of the debt, and Elmer could give himself to purely spiritual matters. He set now in his study, dictating to misbundle. He was happy in the matter of that dowdy lady, because her brother, A steward of the church had recently died, and he could presently get rid of her without too much discord. To him was brought the card of Lauren Latimer Dodd, M-A-D-D-D-L-L-D, president of Abernathy College, an institution of Methodist learning.

Starting point is 18:26:42 Hmm, Elmer mused, I'll bet he's out raising money. Nothing doing. What the devil does he think we are? And aloud? Go out and bring Dr. Dodd right in, Miss Bundle, a great man, a wonderful educator, you know president of Abernathy College. Looking her admiration at a boss who had such distinguished callers, Mrs. Bundle bundled out. Dr. Dodd was a florid man with a voice, a Kiwanis pin, and a handshake. Well, well, well, brother Gantry, I've heard so much of your magnificent work here that I ventured to drop in and bother you for a minute. What a magnificent church you have created.

Starting point is 18:27:35 It must be a satisfaction, a pride. It's magnificent. Thanks, Doctor. Mighty pleased to meet you. Visiting Zenith? Well, I'm, as it were, on my rounds. Not a cent, you old pirate. Visiting the alumni, I presume.

Starting point is 18:27:59 In a way, the fact is I... Not a damn cent. My salary gets raised next. Was wondering if you would consent to my taking a little time at your service Sunday, evening, to call to attention of your magnificent congregation the great work and dire needs of Abernathy. We have such a group of earnest young men and women, and no few of boys going into the Methodist

Starting point is 18:28:30 ministry, but our endowment is so low, and what with the cost of the new athletic field? Though I am delighted to be able to say our friends have made it possible to create a real magnificent field with a fine cement stadium, but it has left us up against a heartbreaking deficit. Why, the entire chemistry department is housed in two rooms in what was a cow shed, and can't do it, Doctor, impossible. We haven't begun to pay for this church, be as much as my life is worth, to go to my people with a plea for one extra, sent. But possibly in two years from now, though frankly, and Elmer laughed brightly, I don't know why the people of Wellspring should contribute to a college which hasn't thought

Starting point is 18:29:29 enough of Wellspring's pastor to give him a doctor of divinity degree. The two holy clerks look squarely at each other with poker faces. Of course, "'Doctor?' said Elmer. "'I have been offered the degree a number of times by small, unimportant colleges, "'and I haven't cared to accept it. "'So you can see that this is in no way a hint that I would like such a degree, "'heaven forbid, but I do know it might please my congregation, "'make them feel Abernathy was their own college, in a way.'

Starting point is 18:30:10 "'Dr. Dodd remarked serenely, pardon me if I smile. You see, I had a double mission in coming to you. The second part was to ask you if you would honor Abanathie by accepting a doctor of divinity. They did not wink at each other. Elmer gloated to himself.

Starting point is 18:30:35 And I've heard it cost old Malon Pots $600 for his D.D. Oh, yes, Prexie, we'll begin to raise money for Abernathy in two years. We'll begin. Part 2 The Chapel of Abernathy College was full. In front were the gowned seniors, looking singularly like a row of armchairs covered with dust cloths. On the platform, with the President and the senior members of the faculty, were the celebrities whose achievers were to be acknowledged by honorary degrees. Besides, the Reverend Elmer Gantry,

Starting point is 18:31:18 these distinguished guests were there. The governor of the state, who had started as a divorce lawyer, but had reformed and enabled the public service corporations to steal all the water power in the state. Mr. B. D. Swenson, the automobile manufacturer, who had given most of the money for the Abernathy Football Stadium,

Starting point is 18:31:41 and the renowned Eva Eveleen Murphy, author, a lecturer, painter, musician, and authority on Floriculture, who is receiving a literary doctorate for having written Gravis the new Abernathy College song, We'll think of thee wheree'er we be on plain or mountain, town, or sea. Oh, let us sing how round us clings, dear Abernathy, thoughts of thee. President Dodd was facing Elmer, and shouting, and now we have the privilege of conferring the degree of Doctor of Divinity upon one than whom no man in our honoring neighbor states of Winniac has done more to inculcate sound and religious doctrine,

Starting point is 18:32:31 increase the power of the church, uphold high standards of eloquence and scholarship, and in his own life give such an example of earnestness, as is an inspiration to all of us. They cheered, and Elmer had become the Reverend Dr. Gantry. Part 3 It was a great relief at the Rotary Club. They had long felt uncomfortable in calling so weighty a presence, Elmer.

Starting point is 18:33:02 And now, with a pride of their own in his new dignity, they called him Doc. The church gave him a reception and raised his salary to $7,500. Part 4. The Reverend Dr. Gantry was the first clergyman in the state of Winniac, almost the first in the country,

Starting point is 18:33:26 to have his services broadcast by radio. He suggested it himself. At that time, the one broadcasting station in Zenith, that of the Silebe's Gum and Chicle Company, presented only jazz orchestras and retired sopranos to advertise the renowned Jolly Jack Gum. For $50 a week, Wellspring Church was able to use the radio Sunday mornings from 11 to 1230. Thus Elmer increased the number of his hearers from 2,000 to 10,000, and in another pair of years it would be 100,000.

Starting point is 18:34:10 eight thousand radio owners listening to elmer gantry a bootleggar in his flat coat off exposing his pink silk shirt his feet upon the table the house of a small-town doctor with the neighbors come in to listen the drugstore man his fat wife the bearded superintendent of schools mrs sherman reeves of royal ridge wife of one of the richest young young men in Zenith, listening in a black and gold dressing gown while she smoked a cigarette. The captain of a schooner out on Lake Michigan, hundreds of miles away, listening in his cabin. The wife of a farmer in an Indiana Valley, listening while her husband read the Sears Roebuck catalog and sniffed. A retired railway conductor, very feeble, very religious. A Catholic priest in a hospital chuckling a little.

Starting point is 18:35:17 A spinster schoolteacher mad with loneliness, worshipping Dr. Gantry's virile voice. Forty people gathered in a country church, too poor to have a pastor. A stock actor in his dressing room fagged with an all-night rehearsal. All of them, listening to the Reverend, Reverend Dr. Elmer Gantry, as he shouted, And I want to tell you that the fellow who is eaten by ambition

Starting point is 18:35:49 is putting the glories of this world before the glories of heaven. Oh, if I could only help you to understand that it is humility, that it is simple loving kindness, that it is tender loyalty, which alone make the heart glad. Now if you'll let me tell a story, it reminds me of two Irishmen named Mike and Pat. Part 5. For years, Omer had had a waking nightmare of seeing Jim Lefferts sitting before him in the audience, scoffing. It would be a dramatic encounter and terrible. He wasn't sure, but that Jim would speak up and by some magic kick him out of him.

Starting point is 18:36:39 the pulpit. But when, that Sunday morning, he saw Jim in the third row, he considered only, oh, Lord, there's Jim Lefferts. He's pretty grey. I suppose I'll have to be nice to him. Jim came up afterward to shake hands. He did not look cynical. He looked tired. And when he spoke in a flat prairie voice, Elmer felt urban, and urbane and superior. "'Hello, hell cat,' said Jim. "'Well, well, well, oh, Jim Lefferts, well, by Guy. "'Say it certainly is a mighty good pleasure to see you, my boy. "'What are you doing in this neck of the woods?'

Starting point is 18:37:28 "'Looking up a claim for a client. "'What are you doing now, Jim? "'I'm practicing law in Topeka.' "'Doing pretty well?' "'Oh, I can't complain. Oh, nothing extra special. I was in the state senate for a term, though. "'Oh, that's fine. That's fine. Say, how long are you going to be in town?' "'Oh, about three days. Say, I want to have you up to the house for dinner, but doggone it, Cleo, that's my wife. I'm married now. She's gone and got me all sewed up with a lot of dates.

Starting point is 18:38:05 You know how these women are. Me, I'd rather say, sit home and read. But sure got to see you again. Say, give me a ring, will you? At the house. Find it in the telephone book. Or at my study here in the church. Yeah, sure.

Starting point is 18:38:22 You bet. Well, glad to see you. You bet. Tickled to death to see you, old Jim. Elmer watched Jim plot away. Shoulders depressed. A man discouraged. And that, he rejoiced.

Starting point is 18:38:39 is the poor fish that tried to keep me from going into the ministry. He looked about his auditorium with the organ pipes of vast golden pyramid, with the Chubak Memorial Window vivid in ruby and gold and amethyst, and become a lawyer like him in a dirty, stinking little office, huh? And he actually made fun of me and tried to hold me back when I got a clear and definite call of God. Oh, I'll be good and busy when he calls up. You can bet on that.

Starting point is 18:39:17 But Jim did not telephone. On the third day, Elmer had a longing to see him, a longing to regain his friendship, but he did not know where Jim was staying. He could not reach him at the principal hotels. He never saw Jim Lefferts again, and within a week he had forgotten him, except as it was a relief to have lost his embarrassment before Jim's sneering,

Starting point is 18:39:44 the last bar between him and confident greatness. Part 6. It was in the summer of 1924 that Elmer was granted a three-month's leave, and for the first time Cleo and he visited Europe. He had heard the Reverend G. Prosper Edward say, I defied American clergymen into just two classes, those who could be invited to preach in a London church, and those who couldn't. Dr. Edwards is one of the first honorable cast, and Elmer had seen him pick up some great glory

Starting point is 18:40:24 from having sermonized in the city temple. The Zenith papers, even the national religious periodicals, hinted that when Dr. Edwards was in London, the entire population from King to navies had galloped to worship under him. And the conclusion was that Zenith and New York would be sensible to do likewise. Elmer thoughtfully saw to it that he should be invited also. He had Bishop Tumis right to his Wesleyan colleagues. He had Rigg and William Doolinger, Stiles,

Starting point is 18:41:01 right to their nonconformist business acquaintances in London, Any month before he sailed, he was bitten to address the celebrated Brompton Road Chapel, so that he went off in a glow, not only of adventure, but of message-bearing. Part 7 Dr. Elmore Gantry was walking the deck of the Scythia, a bright, confluent manly figure in a blue suit, a yachting cap, and white canvas shoes, swinging his arms and beaming pastorally on his fellow athletic maniacs. He stopped at the deck chairs of a little old couple,

Starting point is 18:41:45 a delicate blue-veined old lady and her husband with thin hands and a white beard. Well, you folks seem to be standing the trip pretty good for old folks, he roared. Well, yes, thank you very much. said the old lady. He patted her knee and boom. If there's anything I can do to make things nice and comfy for you, mother, you just holler. Don't be afraid to call on me.

Starting point is 18:42:14 I haven't advertised the fact. Kind of fun to travel what they call incognito. But fact is, I'm a minister of the gospel. Even if I am a husky guy, and it's my pleasure as well as my duty, to help folks any way I can. "'Say, you don't think it's just about the loveliest thing about this ocean-travelling, the way folks have the leisure to get together and exchange ideas?

Starting point is 18:42:41 Have you crossed before?' "'Oh, yes, but I don't think I shall ever again,' said the old lady. "'That's right, that's right. Tell you how I feel about it, Mother,' Jelmer patted her hand. We're Americans, and while it's a fine thing, do you go or bring her. or maybe once or twice, there's nothing so broadening this travel, is there? Still, in America, we've got a standard of decency and efficiency that these poor old U.N.P. and countries don't know anything about.

Starting point is 18:43:16 And in the long run, the good old USA is the place where you'll find your greatest happiness, especially for folks like us that aren't any blooming millionaires that can grab off a lot of castles and those kinds of things and have a raft of butlers, you bet. Well, just holler when I can be of any services to you. So long, folks, got to do my three miles. When he was gone, the little delicate old lady said to her husband, Fabian, if that swine ever speaks to me again, I shall jump overboard.

Starting point is 18:43:55 He's almost the most offensive object I have ever encountered. Dear, how many times have we crossed now? Oh, I've lost track. It was 110 two years ago. Not more? Darling, don't be so snooty. But isn't there a law that permits one to kill people who call you mother? Darling, the Duke calls you that.

Starting point is 18:44:25 I know he does. That's what I hate about him. Sweet, do you think fresh air is worth the penalty of being called mother? The next time this animal stops, he'll call you father. Only once, my dear. Part nine. Elmer considered, well, I've given those poor old birds some cheerfulness to go on with. By golly, there's nothing more important than to give people some happiness and faith to cheer them along life's dark pathway.

Starting point is 18:45:05 He was passing the veranda cafe. At a pale green table was a man who sat next to Elmer in the dining salon. With him were three men unknown, and each had a whiskey and soda in front of him. Well, I see you're keeping your strength up, Elmer said forgivingly. "'Sure, you betcha,' said his friend of the salon. "'You want to sit down and have a jolt with us?' Elmer said, and when the steward stood at ruddy British attention, he gave voice,

Starting point is 18:45:40 "'Well, of course, dean a preacher, I'm not a big husky athlete like you, boys, so all I can stand is just a ginger ale.' To the steward, do you keep anything like that, buddy, or have you only got hooch for the big strong men? When Elmer explained to the purser that he wouldn't be willing to act as chairman of the concert with the most perspiritory regret, the person said that the right Honorable Lionel Smith

Starting point is 18:46:12 had unfortunately already been invited to take the chair. Part 9 Cleo had not been more obnoxiously colorless than usual, but she had been seasick, and Omer saw that it had been an heir to bring her along. He had not talked to her an hour all the way. There had been so many interesting and broadening contacts, the men from China, who gave him enough ideas for a dozen missionary sermons, the professor from Higgins Presbyterian Institute,

Starting point is 18:46:48 who explained that no really up-to-date scientists except the pretty journalist lady who needed consolation. But now, alone with Cleo in the compartment of a train from Liverpool to London, Elmer made up for what she might have considered neglect by explaining the difficult aspects of a foreign country. Huh? English certainly are behind the times. Think of having these dingy coups instead of a Pullman car, so you can see your fellow passengers and get acquainted.

Starting point is 18:47:26 Just goes to show the way this country is still riddled with caste. Don't think so much of these towns. Kind of pretty. Cottages with vines and all that. But you don't get any feeling that they're up and coming and forward-looking, like Americanburgs. I tell you, there's one thing, and don't know as I've ever seen anybody bring this out,

Starting point is 18:47:50 I might make a sermon out of it. One of the big advantages of foreign travel is, it makes you a lot more satisfied with being an American. Here we are, coming into London, I guess. Certainly is smoky, isn't it? Well, by golly, so this is what they call a depot in London. Well, I don't think much of it. Just look at all those dinky little trains.

Starting point is 18:48:18 Why, say, an American engineer would be ashamed to take advantage of child-sized trains like them, and no marble anywhere in the depot. Part 10 The page who took their bags up to their room in the Savoy was a brisk and smiling boy with fabulous pink cheeks. Say, buddy, said the Reverend Dr. Gantry. What do you pull down here? "'Sorry, sir. I don't think I quite understand, sir.' "'What do you make? How much do they pay you?'

Starting point is 18:48:56 "'Oh, oh, they pay me very decently, sir. "'Is there anything else I can do, sir?' "'Thank you, sir.' When the page was gone, Elmer complained. "'Yeah, fine, friendly kid that bell-boy is, "'and can't hardly understand the English language.' "'Well, I'm glad we're seeing the old country. but if folks aren't going to be any friendlier than he is,

Starting point is 18:49:24 I see where we'll be mighty darn glad to get back. Why, say, if he had been at American bail-boy, he'd have jawed along for an hour, and I'd have learned something. Well, come on, come on, get your head on, and let's go out and give the town the once-over. They walked along the strand. "'Say,' Elmer said portentously, "'do you notice that?

Starting point is 18:49:51 "'The cops got straps under their chin.' "'Well, well, that certainly is different.' "'Yes, isn't it?' said Cleo. "'But I don't think much of this street. "'I always heard it was a famous one. "'But these stores—' "'Well, say, we've got a dozen streets in Zenith. "'Say nothing of New York.

Starting point is 18:50:15 They'd got better stores. No, get up and get to these foreigners. Certainly does make a fellow glad he's an American. They came after exploring Swan and Edgarus to St. James Palace. Now, said Elver knowingly, that certainly is an ancient sight. Wonder what it is? Some kind of a castle, I guess? To a passing policeman, say, excuse me, Captain,

Starting point is 18:50:45 But could you tell me what that brick building is? St. James Palace, sir. You're an American. The Prince of Wales lives there, sir. Is that a fact? Do you hear that, Cleo? Well, sir, that's certainly something to remember. Part 11.

Starting point is 18:51:07 When he regarded the meager audience at Brompton Road Chapel, Elmer had an inspiration. All the way over he had planned to be poetic in his first London sermon. He was going to say that it was the strong man, the knight in armor, who was most willing to humble himself before God, and to say also that love was the bow on life's dark cloud, and the morning and evening star both. But in a second of genius, he cast it away and reflected,

Starting point is 18:51:42 said, no, what they want is a good pioneering, rough-neck American, and that he was splendidly. Folks, he said, it's mighty nice of you to let a plain American come and bring his message to you, but I hope you don't expect any Oxford College man. All I've got to give you, and may the dear Lord help my feebleness in giving you even that, is the message that God reigns among the grim frontiersmen of America, in cabin and fraceless wild, even as he reigns here in your magnificent and towering city. It is true that just at the present moment, through no virtue of my own, I am the pastor of a church even larger than your beautiful chapel here.

Starting point is 18:52:36 But I long for the day when the general superintendent will send you. me back to my own beloved frontier, to, let me try in my humble way, to give you a picture of the work I knew as a youth, that you may see how closely the grace of God binds your world-compelling city to the humblest vastness. I was the pastor, as a youngster, ignorant of everything, save the fact that the one urgent duty of the preacher is to carry somewhere the good news of the world. the atonement, of the log chapel in the frontier settlement called Shirenheim. I came at nightfall, weary and hungered, and a poor circuit-writer to the house of Barney

Starting point is 18:53:25 Baines, a pioneer, living all alone in his log cabin. I introduced myself, I am Brother Gantry, the Wesleyan preacher, I said. Well, he stared at me a while looking his eyes. beneath his matted hair, and slowly he spoke. "'Brother,' he said, "'I ain't seen no strangers for nigh unto a year, "'and I am mighty pleased to see you.' "'You must have been awfully lonely, friend,' I said.

Starting point is 18:53:58 "'No, sir, not me,' he said. "'Well, how is that?' I said, "'because Jesus has been with me all the time.' Part 12 They almost applauded. They told him afterward that he was immense and invited him to address them whenever he returned to London. Wait, he reflected, till I get back to Zenith and tell old Potts and Hickenlooper that. As they rode to the hotel on the bus, Cleo sighed,

Starting point is 18:54:36 Oh, you were wonderful, but I never knew. knew you had such a wild time of it in your first pastor. Oh, well, it was nothing. A man that's a real man has to take rough with his mood. That's so. Part 13. He stood impatiently on a corner of the rue de lape while Cleo gaped into the window of a perfumer.

Starting point is 18:55:06 She was too well trained to dream of asking him to buy. expensive purview. He looked at the facades in the plosovindom. Not much class, too kind of plain, he'd cited. A little greasy man edged up to him, covertly sliding toward him a pack of postcards, and whispered,

Starting point is 18:55:29 Lovely cards, only two francs each. Oh, said Elmer intelligently, you speak English. sure all language then Elmer saw the topmost card and he was galvanized we jolly two francs apiece he seized the pack gloating but Cleo has suddenly upon him and he handed back the cards of roaring you get out of here or i'll call a cop trying to sell obscene pictures and to a minister of the gospel Cleo, these Europeans have dirty minds. Part 14. It was on the steamer home that he met and became intimate with J.E. North, the renowned vice-slayer, Executive Secretary of the National Association for the Purification of Art and the Press,

Starting point is 18:56:30 affectionally known throughout the evangelical word as the nap-pap. Mr. North was not a clergyman, though he was a warm Presbyterian layman, but no clergyman in the country had more furiously pursued wickedness, more craftily forced congressmen through threats in their home districts to see legislation in the same reasonable manner as himself. For several sessions of Congress, he had backed a bill for a federal censorship of all fiction, plays and moving pictures with a penitentiary sentence for any author mentioning adultery even by implication, ridiculing prohibition or making light of any Christian sect or minister.

Starting point is 18:57:21 The bill had always been defeated, but it was gaining more votes in every session. Mr. North was a tight-mouth, thin gentleman. He liked the earnestness, uprightness, and vigor of the Reverend Dr. Gantry, and all day they walked the deck or sat talking anywhere save in the smoking-room, where fools were befouling their intellects with beer. He gave Elmer an inside view of the great new role of organized opposition to immorality. He spoke intimately of leaders of their world, the executives of the anti-saloon league,

Starting point is 18:58:03 the Lord's Day Alliance, the Watchin Ward Society, the Methodist Board of Temperates, prohibition, and public morals, modern St. John's armed with card embassies. He invited Elmer to lecture for him. We need men like you, Dr. Gantry, said Mr. North, men with rigid standards of decency,

Starting point is 18:58:28 and yet with a, a physical power, which will indicate to the poor, misguided youth of this awful flask-toting age that morality is not less, but more virile than immorality. And I think your parishners will appreciate your being invited to address gatherings and places like New York and Chicago now and then. Oh, I'm not looking for appreciation. It's just that if I can do anything in my power to strike a blow at the forces of evil, said Elmer, I shall be most delighted to help you.

Starting point is 18:59:08 Do you suppose you could address the Detroit YMCA on October 4th? Well, it's my wife's birthday, and we've always made rather a holiday of it. We're proud of being an old-fashioned homie family, but I know that Cleo wouldn't want to stand in the wood. way of my doing anything I can to further the kingdom. Part 15. So Elmer came, though tardily, to the great idea which was to revolutionize his life and bring him eternal and splendid fame. That shabby Corsican artillery lieutenant and author Bonaparte, first conceiving that he might be the ruler of Europe, Darwin seen deemly

Starting point is 18:59:56 the scheme of evolution. Paolo, realizing that all of life was nothing but an irradiation of Francesca, Newton pondering on the falling apple, Paul of Tarsus comprehending

Starting point is 19:00:11 that a certain small Jewish sect might be the new religion of the doubting Greeks and Roman. Keats beginning to write the Eve of St. Agnes None of these men transformed by a great idea from mediocrity to genius, was more remarkable than Elmer Gantry

Starting point is 19:00:34 of Paris, Kansas, when he beheld the purpose for which the heavenly powers had been training on him. He was walking the deck, but only in the body, for his soul was soaring among the stars. He was walking the deck alone late at night, clenching his fists, and wanting to be, to shout as he saw it all clearly. He would combine in one association all the moral organizations in America, perhaps later in the entire world. He would be the executive of that combination, he would be the super president of the United States,

Starting point is 19:01:16 and someday the dictator of the world. Combine them all. The anti-saloon League, the WCTU and other organizations fighting alcohol, the NAPAP and the other vice societies doing such magnificent work in censoring immoral novels and paintings and motion pictures and plays, the anti-cigarette league,

Starting point is 19:01:42 the associations lobbying for anti-evolution laws in the state legislatures. The associations making so brave a fight against Sunday baseball, Sunday movies, Sunday golfing, Sunday motoring, and the other abominations whereby the Sabbath was desecrated, and the preacher's congregations and collections, were lessened. The fraternities opposing Romanism. The societies which gallantly wanted to make it a crime

Starting point is 19:02:18 to take the name of the Lord in vain, or to use the nine Saxon physiological monosyllables and all the rest. Combined the lot. They were pursuing the same purpose to make life conform to the ideals agreed upon by the principal Christian Protestant denominations. Divided, they were comparately feeble. United, they would represent 30 million Protestant churches, scores, they would have such a treasury and such a membership that they would no longer have to

Starting point is 19:02:56 coax Congress and the state legislatures into passing moral legislation, but in a quiet way they would merely state to the representatives of the people, what they wanted, and get it. And the head of this united organization would be the Warwick of America, the man behind the throne, the man who would send for presidents or whatever party and give orders. And that man, perhaps the most powerful man since the beginning of history, was going to be Elmer Gantry. Not even Napoleon or Alexander had been able to dictate what a whole nation should wear and eat and say and think.

Starting point is 19:03:46 That Elmer Gantry was about to do. A bishop? Me? A West, tumus? Hell, don't be silly, I'm going to be the emperor of America, maybe of the world. I'm glad I've got this idea so early, while I'm only 43. I'll do it, I'll do it, Elmer exulted. Now let's see, the first step is to kid this J.E. North along, and do whatever he wants me to, until it comes time to kick him out and get a church in New York so they'll know I'm a, my God,

Starting point is 19:04:26 and Jim Leverts try to keep me from becoming a preacher? Part 16 And I stood, Gilmore was explaining, in the pulpit of Wellspring Church, there on the Rue de la Pais in Paris, filled almost to an intolerable historical appreciation of those aged and historical structures, when suddenly up to me comes a man, obviously, of Frenchmen. Now, to me, of course, any man, who is a countryman of Joan of Arc,

Starting point is 19:05:00 and Marshall Fouche is a friend, so when this man said to me, Brother, would you like to have a good time tonight? I answered, though truth to tell, I did not like his look entirely, I said, brother, that depends entirely on what you mean by a good time. He spoke English. Well, he said, I can take you places where you can meet many pretty girls and have fine liquor to drink. Well, I had to laugh.

Starting point is 19:05:34 I think I was more sorry for him than anything else. I laid my hand on his shoulder, and I said, Brother, I'm afraid I can't go with you. I'm already dated up for a good time this evening. Well, how's that? he said. And what may you be going to do? I'm going, I said, back to my hotel to have dinner with my dear wife, and after that, I said, I'm going to do something that you may not regard as interesting, but which is my idea of a dandy time.

Starting point is 19:06:10 I'm going to read a couple of chapters of the Bible aloud and say my prayers and go to bed. And now, I said, I'll give you exactly three seconds to get out of here, and if you're in my sight after that, well, it'll be over you that I'll be saying the prayers. I see my time is nearly up, but before I close, I want to say a word on behalf of the nap-pap,

Starting point is 19:06:38 that great organization, the National Association for the Purification of Art and the Press. I am pleased to say that its executive secretary, my dear friend, Dr. J.E. North, will be with us next month, and I want you all to give him a rousing greeting. End of Section 38, Chapter 30. Section 39 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. This is a Laborvox recording. All LibraVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information, portovalenteer, please visit Libravox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 39, Chapter 31, Part 1

Starting point is 19:07:33 For over a year now, it had been murmured throughout the church world that no speaker was more useful to the Reform Organization than the Reverend Dr. Elmer Gantry of Zenith. His own church regretted losing his presence so often, but they were proud to hear of him speaking in New York, in Los Angeles, in Toronto. It was said that when Mr. J.E. North retired from the Napap because of the press of his private interests, he was the owner of Epsburg New York Times Cemetery, Dr. Gantry would be elected executive secretary of the Napap in his stead.

Starting point is 19:08:17 It was said that no one in America was a more relentless foe of so-called liberalism in theology and of misconduct in private life. It was said that Dr. Elmer Gantry had refused support for election as a bishop at the 1928 General Conference of the Methodist Church, North two years from now, and it was definitely known that he had refused the presidency of Swenson University in Nebraska. But it was also definitely known, alas, that he was likely to be invited to take the pastorate of the Yorkville Methodist Church in New York City, which included among its members Dr. Welke-Bannister, that resolute, cover-to-cover funding.

Starting point is 19:09:10 fundamentalist, who was also one of the most celebrated surgeons in the country. And Peter F. Durbar, the oil millionaire, and Jackie Oaks, the musical comedy clown. The bishop of the New York area was willing to give Dr. Gantry the appointment. But, well, there were contradictory stories. One version said that Dr. Gantry had not decided to take the Yorkville appointment. The other said that Yorkville, which meant Dr. Bannister, had not decided to take Dr. Gantry. Anyway, the well-spring flock hoped that their pastor, their spiritual guardian, their friend and brother, would not leave them. After he had discharged Miss Bundle, the church secretary, and that was a pleasant moment, she cried so ludicrously,

Starting point is 19:10:10 Elmer had to depend on a series of incapable girls, good methodists, but rotten stenographers. It almost made him laugh to think that while everybody supposed he was having such a splendid time with his new fame, he was actually running into horrible rock. This confounded J.E. North, with all his pretenses of friendship, kept delaying his resignation from the Napap. Dr. Wilkie Bannister, the conceited Chump, a fellow who thought he knew more about theology than a preacher, delayed in

Starting point is 19:10:52 advising the official board of the Yorkville Church to call Elmer, and his secretaries infuriated him. One of them was shocked when he said just of the least little small, damn. Nobody appreciated the troubles of a man destined to be the ruler of America? No one knew what he was sacrificing in his campaign for morality. And how tired he was of the rusty, unimaginative devotion of Lulu Baines. If she lisp, O Elmer, you are so strong, just once more he'd have to clout her.

Starting point is 19:11:35 Part two. In the queue of people who came up after the morning service to shake hands with the Reverend Dr. Gantry was a young woman whom the pastor noted with interest. She was at the end of the queue, and they talked without eavesdroppers. If a marquee of the 17th century could have been turned into a girl of perhaps 25, completely and ardently feminine, yet with the haughty head, the slim, hooked nose, the imperious eyes of Monsieur Le Marquis, that would have been the woman who held Elmer's hand and said,

Starting point is 19:12:18 "'May I tell you, Doctor, that you are the first person in my whole life who has given me a sense of reality in religion?' "'Sister, I am very grateful,' said the Reverend Dr. Gantry, while Elmer was saying within,

Starting point is 19:12:36 "'Say, here a kid I'd like to get acquainted with.' Dr. Gantry, aside from my tribute, which is quite genuine, I have a perfectly unscrupulous purpose in coming and speaking to you. My name is Hetty Hedower, Miss, unfortunately. I've had two years in the University of Wisconsin. I've been secretary of Mr. Lebenheim of the Tallahassee Life Insurance Company for the last year, but he's been transferred to Detroit. I'm really quite a good secretary, and I'm a Methodist, a member of Central, but I've been planning to switch to Wellspring.

Starting point is 19:13:19 Now what I'm getting at is, if you should happen to need a secretary in the next few months, I'm filling in as one of the hotel stenographers at the Thornleigh. They looked at each other, unswerving, comprehending. They shook hands again more firmly. "'Miss Dowler, you're my secretary right now,' said Elmer. "'It'll take about a week to arrange things. "'Thank you. May I drive you home? I'd love to have you.' Part four. Not even the nights when they work together, alone in a church,

Starting point is 19:14:01 or more thrilling than their swift mocking kisses between the calls of solemn parishners. To be able to dash across the steady and kiss her soft temple after a lugubrious widow had watered out, and to have her whimper, Darling, you are too wonderful with that awful old hen. Oh, you are so dear. That was life to him. He went often of an evening to Hetty Dollars Flat, a pleasant white and blue sweet, in one of the new apartment hotels with an absurd kitchenette and an electric refrigerator. She curled in long leopard-like lines on the damask couch while he marched up and down, rehearsing his sermon, and stopping for the applause of her kiss. Always he slipped down to the pantry at his house and telephone good-night to her before retiring,

Starting point is 19:15:02 and when she was kept on by illness, he telephoned her from his study every hour, or scrawled notes to her. That she liked best. Your letters are so dear and funny and sweet, she told him. So he wrote in his unformed script, "'Dearest little honey-con, bunnickens, "'Who is such a darling? I adore you. I haven't got another dog-gone thing to say, but I say that six hundred million trillion times,

Starting point is 19:15:39 Elmer. But, and he would never have let himself love her otherwise, for his ambition to become the chief moral director of the country was greater than even his delight in her. Hetty Dower was all this time a superb secretary. No dictation was too swift for her. She barely made errors. She made of a typed page a beautiful composition.

Starting point is 19:16:09 She noted down for him the telephone numbers of people who called during his absence, and she had a cool, sympathetic way of getting rid of the idiots who came to bother the Reverend Dr. Gantry with their unimportant woes. And she had such stimulating suggestions for sermons. In these many years, neither Cleo nor Lulu had ever made a sermon's suggestion worth anything but a groan. But Hetty? Why, it was she who outlined the sermon on the Folly of Fame, which caused such a sensation at Torelliurgy College when Elmer received his LLD. He got photographed, laying a wreath on the grave of the late President Willoughby Quarrels, and in general obtained publicity for himself and his dear old alma mater.

Starting point is 19:17:03 He felt somehow that Hetty was the reincarnation of Sharon. They were very different physically. Hetty was a slimmer, less tall, her thin, eager face hadn't the curious long lines of Sharon's, and very different were they mentally. Hetty, however, gaily affectionate, was never moody. never hysterical, yet there was the same rich excitement about life and the same devotion to their men, and there was the same impressive ability to handle people. If anything could have increased

Starting point is 19:17:43 T.J. Riggs' devotion to Elmer and the church, it was the way in which Hettie, instinctively understanding Riggs' importance, flattered him and jested with him and encouraged him to loaf in the church office, though he interrupted her work and made her stay longer at night. She carried out a harder, more important task. She encouraged William Dolinger Stiles. Who was never so friendly as Rigg? She told him that he was a Napoleon of finance. She almost went too far in her attentions to Stiles. She lunched with him alone. Elmer protested jealously, and she amiably agreed never to see Stiles again outside of the church. Part 5

Starting point is 19:18:36 That was a hard, rather miserable job, getting rid of the Lulu Baines, whom Hetty had made superfluous. On the Tuesday evening, after his first meeting with Hetty, when Lulu came cooing into his office, Elmer looked depressed, did not rise to welcome her. He sat at his desk, his chin moodily in his two hands. "'What is it, dear?' Lulu pleaded. "'Sit down. No, please. Don't kiss me. Sit down over there, dearest. We must have an earnest talk,' said the Reverend Dr. Gantry. She looked so small, so rustic, for all her new frock as she quivered in an ugly straight

Starting point is 19:19:22 chair. Lulu, I've got something dreadful to tell you. In spite of our carefulness, Cleo, Mrs. Gantry, is on to us. It simply broke my heart, but we must stop seeing each other privately. Indeed, oh, Elmer, Elmer, oh, my lover, please. You must be calm, dear. We must be brave and face this thing honestly. As I was saying, I'm not sure. but that it might be better with her horrible suspicions if you don't come to church here anymore. But what did she say? What did she say? I hate her. I hate your wife so. Oh, I won't be hysterical, but I hate her. What did she say? Well, last evening she just calmly said to me, you can imagine how surprised I was, like a bolt out of the blue. She said, my wife said, well, tomorrow I suppose you'll be meeting that person

Starting point is 19:20:29 that teaches cooking again and get home late as usual. Well, I stole for time, and I found out that she was actually thinking of putting detectives on us. Oh, my dear, my poor dear, I won't ever see you again. You mustn't be disgraced with your wonderful fame that I've been so proud. "'A-da-l-l-da. Can't you see it, isn't that? Hell, I'm a man. I can face the whole kitten caboodle of them, and tell them just where they get off. But it's you. Honestly, I'm afraid Floyd will kill you if he knows. Yes, I guess he would. I don't know as I care much. It would be easier than killing myself. Now you look here, young woman.

Starting point is 19:21:25 I'll have none of this idiotic suicide talk. He had sprung up. He was standing over her an impressive priestly figure. It's absolutely against every injunction of God who gave us our lives to use for his services and glory to even think of self-slaughter. Well, I could never have imagined that you could say such a wicked, wicked, wicked!

Starting point is 19:21:50 thing. She crawled out after a time, a little figure in a shabby topcoat over her proud new dress. She stood waiting for a trolley car, alone under an archlight, fingering her new beaded purse, which she loved, because in his generosity he had given it to her. From time to time she wiped her eyes and blew her nose, and all this time she was quite stupidly muttering, Oh, my dear, my dear, I think I made trouble for you. Oh, my dear, my very dear.

Starting point is 19:22:30 Her husband was glad to find, the year after, that she had, by some miracle, lost the ambitiousness, which had annoyed him, and that night after night she was willing to stay home and play cribbage. But he was angry and rather talkative over the fact that whenever he came home he would find her sitting blank-faced and idle, and that she had become so careless about her hair. But life is life, and he became used to her slopping around in a dressing-gown all day,

Starting point is 19:23:04 and sometimes smelling of gin. Part 6 By recommendation of J.E. North, it was Elmer who was chosen by the Sacred Sabbath League to lead the fight against Sunday motion pictures in Zenith. This will be fine training for you, Mr. North wrote to Elmer, in case the directors select you my successor in the Napap, training for the day when you will be laying down the law, not merely to a city council, but to congressmen and senators.

Starting point is 19:23:47 Elmer knew that the high lords of the Napap were watching, him, and that with spirit he led the fight against Sunday movies. The state of Winniac had the usual blue law to the effect that no paid labor, except, of course, that of ministers of the gospel, and whatever musicians, lecturers, educators, janitors, or other help, the ministers might choose to hire, might work on the Sabbath, and the usual blissful custom of ignoring that law. Elmer called on the sheriff of the county, a worried man whose training in criminology had been acquired in a harness shop and shook hands with him handsomely. Well, Reverend, it's real nice to have the pleasure of making your acquaintance, said the sheriff.

Starting point is 19:24:39 I've read a lot about you in the papers. Have a smoke. Elmer sat down impressively, leaning over a little, his elbow on the arm of the chair, is huge, fist clenched. Thanks, but I never touched tobacco, he said grimly. Now look here, Edelstein. Are you the sheriff of this county? Huh, I guess I am. Oh, you guess so, do you?

Starting point is 19:25:07 Well, then are you going to see that the state law against Sunday movies is obeyed? Oh, look here now, Reverend. Nobody wants me to enforce it. Nobody? Nobody. Only a couple of hundred thousand citizens and church members, bankers, lawyers, doctors, decent people, and only an equal number of wops and hunkies and yids and atheists and papers want you to let the Sabbath be desecrated. Now you look here, Edelstein, unless you pinch every last man, movie owners and operators and ushers,

Starting point is 19:25:46 and the whole kit and billing of them, that you are responsible, for this disgraceful and illegal traffic of Sunday movies. I'm going to call a giant mass meeting of all the good citizens in town, and I'm going to talk a lot less to him about the movie proprietors than I am about you. And it's one fine, fat, nice chance you'll have of being re-elected if 200,000 electors of this county and the solid, birds that take the trouble to vote, are out for your hide. Say, who do you think is running this country, the Methodist and Baptists and the Presbyterians?

Starting point is 19:26:35 Certainly. Say, you have a look here now. In fact, upon warrants sworn to by the Reverend Dr. Elmer Gandry, all persons connected with the profanation of the Sabbath by showing motion pictures were arrested for three Sundays in succession. After which the motion pictures went on as before, and Elmer received telegrams of esteem from the Sacred Sabbath League, J.E. North, Dr. Wilkie Bannister of the Yorkville Methodist Church of New York City, and a hundred of more prominent divines all over the land.

Starting point is 19:27:17 Part 7 Within 24 hours, Mr. J.E. North let Elmer know that he was really resigning in a month, and that the choice for his successor lay between Elmer and only two other holy men. And Dr. Wilkie Bannister wrote that the official board of the Yorkville Methodist Church, after watching Elmer's career for the last few months, was ready to persuade the bishop to offer him the pastorate. providing he should not be too much distracted by outside interests. It was fortunate that the headquarters of the NAPAP were in New York City and not,

Starting point is 19:28:00 as was the case with most benevolent lobbying organizations in Washington. Elmer wrote to Dr. Bannister and the other trustees of the Yorkville Church that while he would particularly be the Executive Secretary of the National Association for the Purification of Arden Press. And, oh, what a credit it would be to dear old Yorkville that their pastor would hold such a position. He would be able to leave all the actual work of the Napap to his able assistance,

Starting point is 19:28:33 and except for possibly a day of week, give all his energy and time and prayers to the work of guiding onward and upward, so far as might lie within his humble power, the flock of Yorkville. Elmer wrote to Mr. J.E. North and the trustees of the NAPAPAP that while he would particularly be the pastor of the Yorkville Methodist, and would it not be a splendid justification of their work that their executive secretary would be the new pastor of one of the

Starting point is 19:29:09 most important churches in New York City? Yet he would be able to leave all the actual work to his able assistance, and except, possibly, for sabbaths and an occasional wedding or funeral, give all his energy and time, to the work of guiding as far as might lie within his humble power, the epical work of the National Association for the Purification of Art and the Press. From both of these pious assemblies he had answers that they both were pleased by his exos, explanation, and that it would be a matter of only a few days. It was Hedy Dower who composed these letters, but Elmer made several changes in commas,

Starting point is 19:29:58 and helped by kissing her while she was typing. Part 8 It was too vexatious that at this climax of his life, Elmer's mother should have invited herself to come and stay with them. He was happy when he met her at the station, however pleasant it might be to impress the great of the world, Bishop Tumas, or J.E. North, or Dr. Wilkie Bannister, it had been from his first memory, the object of his life, to gain the commendation of his mother and of Paris, Kansas, the foundation of his existence, to be able to drive her in a new Rilly's Knight

Starting point is 19:30:41 sedan. To show her his new church, his extraordinary genteel home, Cleo in a new frock, was rapture. But when she had been with him for only two days, his mother got him aside and said stoutly, "'Will you sit down, and not to run around the room, my son, I want to talk to you.' "'That's splendid, but I'm awfully afraid I've got to make it short, because—' "'Helmer Gantry, will you hold your tongue and stop being such a wonderful success?' "'Elmer, my dear boy, I'm sure you don't mean to do wrong, but I don't like the way you're treating Cleo, and such a dear, sweet, bright devout girl.' "'What do you mean?'

Starting point is 19:31:30 "'I think you know what I mean.' "'Now you look here, mother. All right, I'll sit down and be quiet, but I certainly. do not know what you mean, the way I've always been a good husband to her, and stood for her total inability to be nice to be nice to the most important members of my congregation, and of all the chilly propositions you ever met. When I have folks here for dinner, even rig, the biggest man in the church, she hasn't got hardly a thing to say.

Starting point is 19:32:07 And when I come home from church, just absolutely tired out, and she meets me, does she meet me with a kiss and look jolly? She does nothing. She begins crabbing the minute I enter the house, about something I've done or haven't done, and of course it's natural. Oh, my boy, my little boy, my dear, all that I've got in this whole world. You were always so quick with excuses. When you stole pies or hung cats or lick the other boys, son, Cleo is suffering. You never pay any attention to her. Even when I'm here, you try to be nice to her to show off.

Starting point is 19:32:54 Elmer, who is this secretary of yours that you keep calling up all the while? The Reverend Dr. Gantry rose quietly and sonorously he spoke. My dear mater, I owe you everything, but at the same time when one of the greatest Methodist churches in the world and one of the greatest reform organizations in the world are begging for my presence, I don't know that I need to explain even to you, Ma, what I'm trying to do. I'm going up to my room. Yes, and that's another thing, having separate rooms, and pray that you may understand, say, Listen, ma, some day you may come to the White House and lunch with me and the President. But I mean, oh, ma'all, for God's sakes, quit picking on me like Cleo does all the time. And he did pray, by his bed he knelt, his forehead, gratefully. cool against the linen spread, mumbling,

Starting point is 19:34:07 Oh, dear God, I am trying to serve thee. Keep me from feeling I'm not doing right. And he sprang up. Hell, he said. These women want me to be a house dog. To hell with them. No, not with mother, but, oh, damn it, she'll understand when I'm the pastor of Yorkville.

Starting point is 19:34:31 Oh, God. Why can't Cleo die so I can marry Hetty? Two minutes later. He was murmuring to Hetty Dowler from the telephone instrument in the pantry, while the cook was rumbling and picking over the potatoes down in the basement. Dear, will you just say something nice to me? Anything. Anything.

Starting point is 19:35:00 End of Section 39, Chapter 31. Section 40 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. This is the Libervox recording. All LibraVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibraVox.org. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 40, Chapter 32, Part 1 Two evenings after Elmer's mother had almost alienated him,

Starting point is 19:35:37 he settled down in his study at home to prepare three or four sermons with the hope of being in bid by eleven. He was furious when the Lithuanian maid came in and said, "'Somebody on the phone, doctor.' But when he heard Hetty, the rugged edges went out of his voice. "'Hilmer?' Hetty going. "'Yes, yes, this is Dr. Gantry. "'Oh, you are so sweet and full. Funny and dignified.

Starting point is 19:36:10 Is the Lettish pot-whaloper listening? Yes. Listen, dear, will you do something for me? You bet. I'm so terribly lonely this evening. Is Wu working hard? I've got to get up some sermons. Listen, bring your little Bible dictionary along

Starting point is 19:36:33 and come at work at my place and let me smoke a cigarette and look at you. Wouldn't you like to, uh, dear, um, dearest? You bet. Be right along. He explained to Cleo and his mother that he had to go and cupboard an old lady in extremus. He accepted their congratulations for his martyrdom and hastened out. Part two.

Starting point is 19:37:01 Elmer was sitting beside Hetty on the damask couch, under the standard lamp stroking her hand and explaining how unjust his mother was, when the door of her suite opened gravely and a thin, twitching-faced, gimlet-eyed man walked in. Hetty sprang up, stood with a head on her frightened breast. "'What do you want here?' roared Elmer, as he rose also. "'Hush!' Hetty begged him. "'It's my husband.'

Starting point is 19:37:34 "'Your!' Elmer's cry was the bleat of a bitten sheep. "'You're? But you aren't married.' "'I am, hang it. Oscar, you get out of here. How dare you intrude like this?' Oscar walked slowly, appreciatively, into the zone of light. "'Well, I've caught you two with the goods,' he chuckled. "'What do you mean?' hit he raised. "'This is my boss, and he's come here to talk over some work.'

Starting point is 19:38:08 "'Yeah, I bet he has. This afternoon I bribed my way in here, and I've got all his letters to you.' "'You haven't!' Heddy dashed to her desk, stood in despair, looking at an empty drawer. Elmer booked over, Oscar. I've had enough of this. You give me those letters, and you get out of here, or I'll throw you out. Oscar negligently produced an automatic shut up, he said, almost affectionately. Now, Gendry, this ought to cost you about $50,000, but I don't suppose you can raise that much. But if I sue for alienation of Hetz's affections, that's the amount I'll sue for.

Starting point is 19:38:58 But if you want to settle out of court in a nice gentlemanly manner without acting rough, I'll let you off for 10,000. And there won't be the publicity. Oh, maybe that publicity wouldn't cook your Reverend Goose? If you think you can blackmail me, think? Hell, I know I can. I'll call on you in your church

Starting point is 19:39:24 at noon tomorrow. I won't be there. You better be now. If you're ready to compromise for 10,000 "'All right, no feeling, sir. "'If not, I'll have my lawyer, "'and he's Manny Silverhorn, "'the slickest shyster in town. "'File suit for alienation tomorrow afternoon

Starting point is 19:39:45 "'and make sure that the evening papers "'get out extras on it. "'By-bye, Hetty. "'By, Elmer, darling. "'Woh, Elmer! "'Naughty, naughty. "'You touch me, and I'll plug you so long.' "'Elmer gaped after the departing Oscar

Starting point is 19:40:03 He turned quickly and saw that head he was grinning. She hastily pulled down her mouth. My God, I believe you're in on this, he cried. Whatever, you big lummox, we've got the goods on you. Your letters will sound lovely in court. But don't ever think, for one minute, that workers as good as Oscar and I were wasting our time on a tan-horn preacher without ten bucks in the bank.

Starting point is 19:40:35 We were after William Dolinger Stiles. But he isn't a boob like you. He turned me down when I went to lunch with him and tried to date him up. So as we'd paid for this plant, we thought we might as well get our expenses and a little piece of change out of you. You short wait, and by God we will.

Starting point is 19:40:59 Now get out of here. I'm sick of hearing your... Blatting. No, I don't think you better hit me. I'll scurl be waiting outside the door. Sorry I won't be able to be at the church tomorrow. Don't worry about my things or my salary. I got him this afternoon. Part 3. At midnight, his mouth hanging open, Elmer was reing at the house of T.J. Rick. He rang and rang desperately. No answer. He stood outside. He stood outside. He, then and bawled, T.J., T.J. An upper window was open and an irritated voice, thick with sleepiness protested.

Starting point is 19:41:44 What do you want? Come down quick. It's me. Elmer Gantry. I need you bad. All right, I'll be right down. A grotesque little figure in an old-fashioned nightshirt puffing at a cigar, Rigg admitted him and let him to the library. "'T.J., they've got me.' "'Huh? The bootleggers?' "'No, hetty. You know, my secretary?

Starting point is 19:42:15 "'Oh, yeah, I see. Been pretty friendly with her?' Elmer told everything. "'All right,' said rig. "'I'll be there at twelve to meet Oscar with you. We'll stall for a time, and I'll do something. Don't worry, Elmer. And look here, Emma, don't you think that even a preacher ought to try to go straight? I've learned my lesson, T.J., I swear this is the last time I'll ever step out.

Starting point is 19:42:48 Even look at a girl. God, you've been a good friend to me, old man. Well, I like anything I'm connected with to go straight, pure egotism. You better have a drink. You need it. No? No. I'm going to hold on to that vow anyway. I guess it's all I've got. Oh, my God. And just this evening, I thought I was such a big, important guy, that nobody could touch. Hmm, I might make a sermon out of it. Then you probably will. Part four. The Chastened, and positively for the last time reformed, Elmer, lasted four.

Starting point is 19:43:32 for days. He was silent at the conference with Oscar Dowler, Oscar's lawyer, Manny Silverhorn, and T.J. Rig in the church study next noon. Rig and Silverman did the talking, and Elmer was dismayed to see how friendly and Jokos. Rigg was with Silverhorn, of whom he had spoken in most un-Methyst terms. "'Yop, you've got the goods on the doctor,' said Rigg. "'We admit it, and I agree that it's worth ten thousand, "'but you've got to give us a week to raise the money.' "'All right, T.J.

Starting point is 19:44:11 "'See you here in a week from today,' said Manny Silverhorn. "'I know. Better make it in your office too many snooping sisters around. "'All right.' "'Everyone shook hands profusely, "'except that Elmer did not shake hands with Oscar Dowler, who snickered, Why, Elmer, and as so closely related as it were. When they were gone, the broken Elmer whimpered,

Starting point is 19:44:41 But, T.J., I never in the world could raise ten thousand. Why, I haven't saved a thousand. Howells, Elmer, you don't suppose we're going to pay him any ten thousand, do you? It may cost you fifteen. which I'll lend you, 500 to Sweet and Hetty and maybe a thousand for detectives. Huh? At a quarter to two this morning, I was talking to Pete Reese of the Reese's detective agency, telling him to get busy.

Starting point is 19:45:17 We'll know a lot about the dollars in a few days, so don't worry. Part 5. Elmer was sufficiently consoled not to agonize that week. yet not so consoled but that he became a humble and tender christian to the embarrassed astonishment of his children he played with him every evening to cleo he was almost oxoious dearest he said i realize that i have oh it isn't entirely my fault i've been so absorbed in the work but the fact remains that i haven't given you enough attention and to-morrow evening i want you to go to a concert with me oh elmer she rejoiced and he sent her flowers once you see his mother exalted i knew you and cleo would be happier if i just pointed out a few things to you. After all, your old mother may be stupid and main street, but there's nobody like a mother to understand her own boy. And I knew that if I just spoke to you, even if you

Starting point is 19:46:27 are a doctor of divinity, you'd see things different. Yes, and it was your training that made me a Christian and a preacher. Oh, a man does owe so much to a pious mother, said Elmer. Part 6. Mani Silverhorn was one of those best ambulance chasers in Zenith. A hundred times he had made the streetcar company pay damages to people whom they had not damaged. A hundred times he had made motorists pay for injuring people whom they had not injured. But with all his talent, many had one misfortune he could get drunk. Now in general, when he was drunk, Manning was able to keep from talking about his legal cases. But this time he was drunk in the presence of Bill Kingdom, reporter for the advocate times,

Starting point is 19:47:26 and Mr. Kingdom was an even harder cross-exameter than Mr. Silverhorn. Bill had been speaking without affection of Dr. Gantry when Manney layered, "'Say, geez, Bill, your dock entry is going to get his. "'Oh, I got him where I want him, "'and maybe it won't cost him some money "'to be so popular with the ladies.' "'Bill looked rigorously uninterested. "'Ah, what are you trying to pull, Manning?

Starting point is 19:48:00 "'Don't be a fool. "'You haven't got anything on, Elmer, and you never will have. "'He's too smart for you. "'You haven't got enough brain. brains to get that guy, Manney? Me? I haven't got enough brains? Say, listen.

Starting point is 19:48:18 Yes, Manny was drunk. Even so, it was only after an hour of badgering Manny about his inferiority to Elmer in trickiness, an hour of Bill's harsh, yet dulcet flattery, an hour of Bill's rather novel willingness to buy drinks, that an infuriated Mani shrieked. All right, you get a stenographer.

Starting point is 19:48:41 That's a notary public, and I'll dictate it. And at two in the morning to an irritated but alert court reporter in his shambles of a hotel room, Manny Silverhorn dictated and signed a statement that unless the Reverend Dr. Elmer Gantry settle out of court, he would be sued, Emmanuel Silverhorn attorney, for $50,000 for having, by inexcusable intimacy with her alienated,

Starting point is 19:49:11 Hetty dollars' affections from her husband. End of Section 40, Chapter 32. Section 41 of Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis. This is a Librevox recording. All Liebervox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Librevox. Read by William Jones, Benita Springs, Florida. Section 41, Chapter 33, Part 1

Starting point is 19:49:49 When Mr. Manny Silverhorn awoke at ten with a head, he remembered that he had been talking, and with agitation he looked at the morning's advocate times. He was cheered to see that there was no trace of his indiscretion. But the next morning, morning, Mr. Silverhorn and the Reverend Dr. Gantry, at about the same moment, noticed on the front page of the Advocate Times the photostat of a document in which Emmanuel Silverhorn attorney asserted that unless Dr. Gantry settled out of court, he would be sued for alienation

Starting point is 19:50:30 of Affections by Mr. Oscar Dowler. Of whose wife, Dowler maintained, Dr. Gantry had taken criminal advantage. Part 2. It was not so much the clamor of the zenith reporters tracking him from his own house to that of T.J. Rigg and out to the country. It was not so much the sketches of his career and hence of his uncovered wickedness in every zenith paper morning and evening. It was not so much the thought that he had lost the respect of his congregation. What of a appalled him was the fact that the Associated Press spread the story through the country, and that he had telegrams from Dr. Wilkie Bannister of the Yorkful Methodist Church, and from the directors of the Napap to the effect,

Starting point is 19:51:26 Is this story true, until the matter is settled? Of course, we must delay action. Part 3. At the second conference, with Manny Silverhorn and Oscar Dowler, Hetty was present, along with Elmer and T.J. Rig, who was particularly amiable. They sat around Manny's offices, still hearing Oscar's opinion of Manning's indiscretion. Well, let's get things settled, Twain Griggs. Are we ready to talk business? I am, Snorlosser. What about it? Got the ten thou? into Manny's office, pushing aside the agitated office boy, came a large man with flat feet. "'Hello, Pete,' said Rigg affectionately.

Starting point is 19:52:17 "'Hello, Pete,' said Manny anxiously. "'Who the devil are you?' said Oscar Dowler. "'Oh, Oscar,' said Hattie. "'Already, Pete?' said T.J. Rigg. away, folks, this is Mr. Peter Reese of the Reese's detective agency. You see, Hetty, I figured that if you had

Starting point is 19:52:42 pulled this, your past record must be interesting. Is it, Pete? Oh, not especially about average, said Mr. Peter Reese. Now, Hetty, why did you leave Seattle at midnight on January

Starting point is 19:52:58 12, 1920? None of your business, shrieked Hetty. Ain't it? Well, it's some of the business of Arthur L. F. Morrissey there. He'd like to hear from you, said Mr. Reese, and know your present address and present name. Now, Hetty, what about the time you did time in New York for shoplifting? You go, oh, Hetty, don't use bad language. Remember there's a preacher present, tittered Mr. Rigg. Got enough?

Starting point is 19:53:34 "'Oh, I suppose so,' said Hetty Wearily. And for the moment, Elmer loved her again, and wanted to comfort her. "'Let's beat it, Oscar.' "'No, you don't. "'Not until you sign this,' said Mr. Rigg. "'If you do sign, you get two hundred bucks to get out of town on. "'Which will be before tomorrow, or God help you, if you don't sign, you go back to Seattle to stand trial.

Starting point is 19:54:07 All right, said Addie, and Mr. Rigg read his statement. Quote, I hereby voluntarily swear that all charges against the Reverend Dr. Elmer Gantry were made directly or by implication by myself and husband are false, wicked, and absolutely unfounded.

Starting point is 19:54:30 I was employed by Dr. Gantry as his secretary, His relations to me were always those of a gentleman and a Christian pastor. I wickedly concealed from him the fact that I was married to a man with a criminal record. The liquor interests, particularly certain distillers, who wished to injure Dr. Gantry as one of the greatest foes of the booze traffic, came to me and paid me to attack the character of Dr. Gantry, and in a moment which I shall never cease to regret, I assented and got my husband to help me

Starting point is 19:55:08 by forging letters purporting to come from Dr. Gantry. The reason why I am making this affection is this. I went to see Dr. Gantry, told him what I was going to do, and demanded money, planning to double-crossed my employers, the booze interest. Dr. Gantry said,

Starting point is 19:55:29 "'Sister, I am sorry you are going to do this wrong thing, "'not on my behalf, because it is a part of the Christian life to bear any crosses, "'but on behalf of your own soul. "'Do as seems best to you, sister, "'but before you go further, will you kneel and pray with me?' "'When I heard Dr. Gentry praying, "'I suddenly repented, and went home, "'and with my own hands typed this statement

Starting point is 19:55:59 which I swear to be the absolute truth. Close quote. When Hetty had signed, and her husband had signed a corroboration, Mani's Silverhorn observed, I think you've overdone it a little, T.J., too good to be true. Still, I suppose her idea was

Starting point is 19:56:19 that Hed is such a fool that she had slop over in her confession. That's the idea, Manning. Well, maybe you're really, rat. Now if you'll give me the $200 bucks, I'll see these two birds or out of town tonight, and maybe I'll give

Starting point is 19:56:37 them some of the $200. Maybe, said Mr. A. Maybe, said Mr. Silverhorn. God, cried on Gantry, and suddenly he was disgracing himself with tears. That was Saturday morning.

Starting point is 19:56:56 Part four. The afternoon paper had front-page stories reproducing Hetty's confession, joyfully announcing Elmer's innocence, recounting his labors for purity and assaulting the booze

Starting point is 19:57:11 interests, which had bribed this poor, weak, silly girl to attack Elmer. Before eight on Sunday morning, telegrams had come in from the Yorkfield Methodist Church and the Napap, congratulating Elmer, asserting that they had never doubted his

Starting point is 19:57:29 In a sense, and offering him the pastorate of Yorkville and the Executive Secretaryship of the Napat. Part 5. When the papers had first made charges against Elmer, Cleo has said furiously, Oh, what a wicked, wicked lie! Darling, you know I'll stand back of you. But his mother had cackled. Just how much of this story is true, Elmy. I'm getting kind of sick and tired of your carryings on. Now when he met them at Sunday breakfast, he held out the telegrams,

Starting point is 19:58:07 and the two women elbowed each other to read them. Oh, my dear, I am so glad and proud, cried Cleo, and Elmer's mother, she was an old woman and bent, very wretched she looked as she mumbled, Oh, forgive me, my boy, I've been as wicked as that dowler woman. Part six. But for all that, would his congregation believe him? If they jeered when he faced him, he would be ruined.

Starting point is 19:58:37 He would still lose the Yorkville pastorate and the Napap. Thus he fretted in a quarter hour before morning service, pacing his study and noting through the window, for once without satisfaction, that hundreds on hundreds were trying to get into the Cramed Outer-Py. His study was so quiet. Now he missed Hetty's presence. He knelt.

Starting point is 19:59:03 He did not so much prey as yearn, inarticulately. But this came out clearly. I've learned my lesson. I'll never look at a girl again. I'm going to be the head of all the moral agencies in the country. Nothing can stop me. Now I've got the nap-hap. I'm going to be all.

Starting point is 19:59:25 the things I want other folks to be. Never again. He stood at his study door watching the robed choir filing out to the auditorium chanting. He realized how he had come to love the details of his church. How if his people betrayed him now, he would miss it, the choir, the pulpit, the singing, the adoring faces. It had come. He could not. He could not. He could not. He could not. He could not put it off. He had to face them. Feebly, the Reverend Dr. Gantry, wavered through the door to the auditorium and exposed himself to 2,500 question marks. They rose and cheered, cheered, cheered, cheered. There's were the shining faces of friends. Without planning it, Elmer knelt on the platform, holding his hands out

Starting point is 20:00:24 sobbing, and with him, they all knelt and sobbed and prayed, while outside the locked glass door of the church, seeing the mob yield within, hundreds knelt on the steps of the church, on the sidewalk, all down the block. Oh, my friends, cried on, do you believe in my innocence, in the fiendishness of my accusers? reassure me with a hallelujah.

Starting point is 20:00:56 The church thundered with the triumphant, hallelujah. And in a sacred silence, Elmer prayed, O Lord, thou hast stooped from thy mighty throne and rescued thy servant from the assault of the mercenaries of Satan. Mostly we thank thee because thus we can go on doing thy work and thine alone, not less but more zealously shall we seek utter purity and the prayer life, and rejoice it in freedom from all temptations.

Starting point is 20:01:32 He turned to include the choir, and for the first time, he saw that there was a new singer, a girl with charming ankles and lively eyes, with whom he would certainly have to, become well acquainted. But the thought was so swift that it did not interrupt the peon of his prayer. Let me count this day, Lord,

Starting point is 20:02:01 as the beginning of a new and more vigorous life, as the beginning of a crusade for complete morality and the domination of the Christian church throughout all the land. Dear Lord, thy work is but begun. We shall yet make these reasons. we shall yet make these united states a moral nation end of section forty one chapter thirty three end of elmer gantry by sinclair lewis

Classic Audiobook Collection - Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis ~ Full Audiobook [drama]

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