Classic Audiobook Collection - Grampa In Oz by Ruth Plumly Thompson ~ Full Audiobook [fantasy]

Episode Date: May 5, 2023

Grampa In Oz by Ruth Plumly Thompson audiobook. Genre: fantasy Another great book in the world of Oz, in which King Fumbo of Ragbad loses his head in a storm and Prince Tatters, accompanied by the wi...se and wonderful old soldier Grampa, sets off to find the king's head, a fortune, and a princess. With Bill, a live iron weathercock, they visit a Wizard's Garden and discover Urtha, a lovely girl made all of flowers -- and proceed to fall, swim, explode, sail, and fly above and below Oz and Ev. Grampa and Co. eventually meet Dorothy herself, traveling with a Forgetful Poet in search of the missing princess of Perhaps City who has been condemned to marry a monster! Ruth Plumly Thompson really hits her stride in this book, telling the OZ story with her own dash and style that will make you smile and outright laugh each chapter. The puns are continuous and those will make you groan! For ad-free listening try our premium subscription Chapters (Approximate) (00:00:00) Chapter 01 (00:15:23) Chapter 02 (00:26:54) Chapter 03 (00:41:49) Chapter 04 (00:53:59) Chapter 05 (01:05:51) Chapter 06 (01:23:44) Chapter 07 (01:34:33) Chapter 08 (01:49:44) Chapter 09 (02:08:01) Chapter 10 (02:28:29) Chapter 11 (02:41:02) Chapter 12 (02:57:19) Chapter 13 (03:13:03) Chapter 14 (03:27:36) Chapter 15 (03:48:35) Chapter 16 (03:56:23) Chapter 17 (04:10:26) Chapter 18 (04:23:42) Chapter 19 (04:38:36) Chapter 20 (04:45:53) Chapter 21 (04:51:58) Chapter 22 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Grandpa and Oz by Ruth Plumley Thompson. Preface. Dear Boys and Girls, This book is all about an old soldier called Grandpa, a young prince, a lost princess, and a weathercock named Bill. I might never have known a thing about them if Dorothy had not been mixed up in the story.
Starting point is 00:00:23 But if there is any excitement in Oz, that girl is bound to be right in the middle of it, and her adventures with Grandpa, Prince Tatters, and Bill are the most curious that have happened in a year of Oz days. Really? I hope the other boys and girls will like Grandpa as much as I do, says Dorothy. And I hope so too, for I'm awfully fond of the old soldier. I hear from Glenda that Mombie the Witch is up to some mischief, so I must hurry off to the Emerald City at once.
Starting point is 00:00:57 If it is true I'll tell you all about it. in the next story. Now please do write me some more of those jolly letters and tell me of any Oz news you may hear, will you? Meanwhile, lots of love, good wishes, and good times to you. Ruth Plumley Thompson, Philadelphia, July 1924. Chapter 1 A Rainy Day in Ragbad. King Fumbo of Ragbad shook in his carpet slippers. He had removed his red shoes, so he could not very well shake in them. My dear, quavered the king, flattening his nose against the crack pain. Will you just look out of this window and tell me what you see?
Starting point is 00:01:47 My dear was really the queen of Ragbad. Years ago, when she had first come to the old red castle on the hill, she had worn her crown every day, and was always addressed as your majesty. But as time passed and affairs in the kingdom had gone from bad to worse, my dear, like many another queen, had taken off her crown, put on her thimble, and become plain Mrs. So-and-so, and with all her sewing she had barely been able to keep the kingdom from falling to pieces. She was stitching a patch on the King's Thursday cloak at this very minute I am telling you about.
Starting point is 00:02:26 What now? gasped the poor lady and rushing to the window. She also pressed her nose to the pain. Do you see what I see? Choked King Fumbo clutching at her hand. I see a great cloud rolling over red mountain, panted Mrs. So-and-So. I see the red geese flying before the wind. I see—
Starting point is 00:02:50 Here she gave a great bounce and brushed past her husband. I see my best patch. square quilt blowing down the highway, moaned Mrs. So-and-so, sumbling across the room. Ruined nations, pluttered the king as the door slammed after his wife. Shut the bells, ring the windows, fetch prince tatters and call my red umbrella. Grandpa, Scroggles, where is every rag bad body? Grandpa, as it happened, was in the garden and Grandpa was an old soldier with a game leg
Starting point is 00:03:25 who had fought in 980 Ragbad battles and beaten everything, including the drum. Just now he was beating the carpet. Tatters, the young prince of Ragbad, was off on a picnick with the Red Smith, and Scroggles, the footman of all work about the castle, was mending a hole in the roof, so none of them heard the king's calls. Finally, seeing that no one was coming to carry out his commands, Fumbo began to carry them out himself. First he clutched his red beard and jumped clear out of his carpet slippers. Next he slammed the window on his thumb. With his thumb in his mouth he hurled himself upon the bell-rope, pulling it so violently
Starting point is 00:04:08 the cord broke and dropped him upon his back. Having failed to ring the bell, he wrung his hands, and well he might, for the room had grown darkest pitch, and the wind was howling down the chimney like a pack of hungry golly-walkers. I'll get my umbrella, muttered King Fumbo, scrambling to his feet. But just as he reached the door, ten thousand pounds of thunder
Starting point is 00:04:35 clapped the castle on the back, and so startled poor Fumbo that he fell through the door and all the way down ten flights of steps. And worse still, when he finally did pick himself up, instead of running into the throne room, he plunged out into the garden, and the storm broke right over his head,
Starting point is 00:04:55 broke with such flashing of lightning and crashing of thunder and lashing of treetops, that the king and such other luckless rag-baggians as were out were flung flat on their noses, and the ones who were indoors crept under beds and into the cupboards and wished they had been better than they had been. Even Grandpa, who was far and away the bravest man in the country, even Grandpa, after one look at the sky, rolled himself in the carpet he had been beating and lay trembling like a tobacco leaf.
Starting point is 00:05:27 This will certainly spoil the rag crop, sighed Grandpa dismally. And as he spoke right out in this frank fashion of the chief industry of Ragbad, I'd better tell you a bit more about the country itself, for I can see your nose curling with curiosity, and curly noses are not nearly so becoming as they used to be. To begin with, Ragbad is in a lot. Oz, a small patch of a kingdom way down in the southwestern corner of the quadling country. In the reign of Fumbo's father, it had been famous for its chintz and tapest trees.
Starting point is 00:06:05 Its red ginghams and calico vines, its cotton fields, and its fine linens and lawns. Indeed, at one time, all the dressed goods in Oz had been grown in the gardens of Ragbad. But when Fumbo came to the throne, he began to spend so far as well. much time reading, and so much money for books and tobacco, that he soon emptied the treasury and had no money to pay the chintz and gingham pickers, nor to send the lawns to the laundry. They were always slightly dusty from being trodden on. And one after another the workers of Ragbad had been forced to seek a living in other lands, so that now there were only 27 families left, and the cotton fields and calico bushes, the chint and tapestries, from lack of care and
Starting point is 00:06:53 cultivation, ran perfectly wild and yielded instead of fine bolts of material, nothing but shreds, tatters, and rag. The twenty-seven remaining rag baddians, including the Redsmith, the miller, the baker, and twenty-four rustic laborers, after a vain attempt to do the work of twenty-seven hundred, gave up in despair and became common rag-pickers. From these rags, which fortunately were still plentiful, Mrs. So-and-So and the good wives of Ragbad, made all the clothing worn in the kingdom,
Starting point is 00:07:28 besides countless rag-rugs, and the money obtained from the sale of these rugs was all that kept the little country from absolute and utter ruin. Of the splendid courtiers and servitors surrounding Fumbo's father, only three remained. For I regret to say that neither the servants nor the old nobility had been able to stand the hardships attendant upon poverty, and they had left in a body the first morning Mrs. So-and-so had served oatmeal without cream for breakfast.
Starting point is 00:08:00 The army, too, had deserted, and marched off to Jinksland, because the king could not buy them new uniforms, so that only three retainers were left in the old red castle on the hill. Hodge, the oldest and fattest of the wise men, had stayed because he was fond of his room in the tower, and of Mr. So-and-so's coffee. Scroggles, the second footman, had stayed because he had old-fashioned notions of his duty, and Grandpa, though long since discharged from act of service, had stuck to his posts like the gallant old soldier he was, and as there were no battles to fight, he tended the furnace, weeded the gardens and helped king, Fumbo and Mr. So-and-So bring up their son to as fine a young prince as any in Oz.
Starting point is 00:08:49 It was of Prince Tatters during all this bluster that Grandpa was thinking as he lay shivering under the carpet, and as soon as the thunder stopped hammering in his ears, he stuck out his head. The wind, after snatching off ten roofs, the wings from the red mill and shaking all the little cottages till their very chimneys shattered had rushed away over red mountain. It was still raining, but Grandpa, seeing that the worst was over, crawled out of the carpet and began to look for trouble. And what do you suppose he found?
Starting point is 00:09:24 Why the king, or at least the best part of the king! Ragam mercy! shrieked the old soldier, jumping behind a tapestry, a thing he had never done in all those nine hundred and eighty battles. But his conduct did not surprise me at all, for Fumbull, had lost his head in the storm and was running wildly around without it, thumbling over bushes and vines and stamping his stock and feet in a perfect frenzy of fright and fury. Now, of course, you will say at once that Fumbo is not the first king to lose his head, and I can only answer that he is the first I ever heard of to went on living without it.
Starting point is 00:10:05 And if Ragbad were not in the wonderful land of Oz, I should say it once that the thing was impossible. In Oz, however, one may come apart, but no one ever dies. So here was poor Fumbo with his head clean off, as live and lively as ever. Breathing hard, Grandpa peered around the tapestry again to see whether his eyes had deceived him. But no, it was the king without a doubt and without his head. Whatever will Mrs. So-and-so do now, groaned Grandpa, and pulling his campaign hat well down over his ears. He dashed out, and, seizing Fumbo's arm, began splashing through the garden, dragging the king along after him. Mr. So-and-so had already reached the castle and was sitting on the broken spring sofa that served for a throne, sneezing violently.
Starting point is 00:11:06 She had not only rescued her quilt, but she had caught a frightful cold. all the collars in the quilt had run together, and this last calamity so upset the poor lady that she began sobbing and sneezing by turns. But right in the middle of the 15th sneeze, she looked up and saw the old soldier with the game leg standing in the doorway. Now don't be frightened, begged Grandpa, advancing stiffly and dripping water all over the rug.
Starting point is 00:11:39 Don't be alarmed. but at the same time prepare yourself for a blow. Mr. So-and-so, with her damp hand, had already been preparing herself for a blow, but now, dropping the handkerchief, she sneezed instead, and when, glancing over Grandpa's shoulder, she caught sight of the king, she sneezed again, and fainted, dead away, and rolled under the sofa.
Starting point is 00:12:06 Ah, this is worse than a battle, puffed Grandpa, dashing between the king, and the queen, for every time he tried to help Mrs. So-and-so, the king fell over a chair or upset a table. "'Halt! About face and wheeled to your left, can't you?' roared the old soldier, mopping his forehead. But to these instructions, Fumbo, having no face about him, paid no attention. Instead he wheeled to the right and swept all the ornaments from the mantle, down on the old soldier's head, and then jumped on Grandpa's good foot so hard that he wheeled to the armamenters'
Starting point is 00:12:40 Grandpa forgot for a moment he was a king and thumped him in the ribs. Then, muttering apologies, the old soldier seized a curtain cord and tied fumbo to a red pillar. This done, he reached under the sofa and pulled out Mrs. So-and-so, and having nothing else handy, gave her a huge pinch of snuff. Just as she came to, in from the garden, splashing water in every direction, rushed Prince Tettors, and in from the kitchen pelted Pudge, the aged wise man. The rag crop is ruined and the king will lose his head, panted Pudge, who had a bad habit of predicting events after they had occurred. He has lost his head, corrected Grandpa,
Starting point is 00:13:26 jerking his thumb over his shoulder. But Grandpa! Stumbling across the room, Prince Tatters shook the old soldier by the arm. When— How? Why? What will he do? Do without it, sighed the old soldier, glancing uneasily at Fumbo. The Kang has lost his head, long live his body, weasped Pudge, rolling up his eyes. Now don't cry, my dear, begged Grandpa, scowling reprovingly at Pudge, and patting Mrs. so-and-so on the shoulder. Having no head really saves one no end of trouble.
Starting point is 00:14:04 No face to wash. No more headaches, no earaches, no toothaches. Grandpa's voice grew more and more cheerful. No lectures to listen to, no spectacles to hunt, no hair to lose, no more coals to catch in it. Why, he really is better off without a head. But Mrs. So-and-so refused to be comforted, and rocking to and fro, moaned,
Starting point is 00:14:30 What shall we do? What shall we do? What shall we do? "'I tell you,' proposed Pudge, pursing up his lips importantly, "'let's all have a strong cup of coffee.' "'As this seemed a sensible suggestion, "'they all filed into the big red kitchen of the castle, "'leaving Fumbo kicking his heels against the stone pillar. "'Eend of Chapter 1. "'Chapter 2 of Grandpa in Oz by Ruth Plumley Thompson.
Starting point is 00:15:08 "'This Libre Vox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 2 The Wise Man Speaks I suppose, sighed the old soldier, stirring his coffee with the handle of his sword. It would do no good to hunt for the king's head in the garden. Drying out before the blazing fire in the kitchen stove and sipping Mrs. So-and-so's fragrant coffee, the little company had grown more calm. I'll just have a look, said Prince Tatteras, pushing back his chair. but the old wise man shook an impatient finger at the very idea of such a thing when a king's head goes off it goes off declared pudge huskily way off as far as it can go
Starting point is 00:15:56 how far is that asked the old soldier and hush i am thinking weased pudge ruffling up his hair with one hand and holding out his coffee cup with the other i am thinking and presently i shall speak another cup of coffee-man this was his seventh cup and after he had sipped it deliberately scraped all the sugar out of the bottom and licked the spoon he set down both cup and sauce flung up his hands and spoke. Let Prince Tatters go in search of his father's head, said the old wise man of Ragbad. Let him seek at the same time his fortune, or a princess with a fortune, for otherwise he will end as a common rag-picker. But suppose, objected Grandpa, who, though an old bachelor himself, had romantic ideas about marriage, Suppose he cannot love a princess with a fortune. Suppose.
Starting point is 00:16:58 It is not wisdom to suppose, sniffed Pudge. Hush. I am thinking, and presently I shall speak again. He closed his eyes and pressed his fingers to his forehead. And after a short silence, during which Mr. So-and-so took a quick swallow of coffee and Grandpa a hasty pinch of snuff, he spoke again.
Starting point is 00:17:24 It is the rainy day, announced Pudge in his most solemn voice. The rainy day I have long predicted. As the king has lost his head, we must ourselves see what he has saved up for it. Come! Marching to the king's best bedchamber, Pudge flung open the cupboard, and there, beside Fumbo's worn cloak, hung the only thing he had saved up for a rainy day, a huge red umbrella.
Starting point is 00:17:58 And must tatters go out into Oz with only this to protect him from dangers? Whaled Mr. So-and-so beginning to sneeze again? No, declared Grandpa, stamping his good foot. I myself will accompany him. Oh, Grandpa, cried the Prince, who was too young to realize the dangers of head-hunting or the hardships of fortune-finding? May we start at once?
Starting point is 00:18:24 hush mumbled pudge holding up his finger i am thinking blowing out his cheeks he stood perfectly quiet for about as long as it would take to count ten to-morrow morning will be the time to start said the old wise man let us return to the king sobering a bit at the thought of his unfortunate father prince tatters followed them downstairs but every now and then he gave a little hop, for the idea of setting out upon such an adventure thrilled him tremendously. When they reached the throne room, Fumbo was leaning quietly against the post. He had evidently become more used to the loss of his head and was busily twiddling his thumbs. If we could just get him a false head till we find his own," sighed Grandpa, thumping the king affectionately on the back, he would look more natural. Ah, I have it!"
Starting point is 00:19:26 Plunging out into the wet garden, the old soldier plucked a huge cabbage, and hurrying back, set it upon the king's shoulders. But no sooner had he done so, than Fumbo broke the cord, tying him to the pillar, rushed to the kitchen, and tried to climb into the soup-pot. Indeed, Mrs. so-and-so snatched off his cabbage head just in time to save him from this further calamity. Panting a little from the exertion and surprise they all sat down to think again. But by this time the news had spread into the village, and the twenty-four rustic laborers,
Starting point is 00:20:05 the miller and the baker and the redsmith, came hurrying to the castle to offer their services. They were subjects to be proud of, let me tell you, though a little odd-looking in their patched and many colored garments. They listened in respectful silence while Grandpa told all he knew of the strange plight of King Fumbo. I will make the King an ironhead, volunteered the Redsmith eagerly. He had a forge next to the mill and did all the iron work in Ragbad.
Starting point is 00:20:36 No, no, protested Grandpa. Iron is too hard. Do you want Mrs. So-and-so to break her knuckles? He finished indignantly. Then dodged behind a pillar because it was not generally known that Mrs. So-and-so boxed the king's ears every morning. "'I will make the king a new bo-er-head,' puffed the baker, stepping forward importantly.
Starting point is 00:21:03 A head as good as his own. "'You mean a donut?' asked Rampaw in astonishment. "'Why, that would be splendid!' Fortunately no one heard him this time, and as Mrs. So-and-so was pleased with the idea, The baker hurried into the kitchen and with several raisins, some flour, spices, milk, and butter, kneaded up and baked a head that was the image of Fumbo's own. It had melancholy prune eyes, red icing for hair and cinnamon whiskers.
Starting point is 00:21:38 Once it had been glued on the king's shoulders, everyone drew a deep sigh of relief, and Fumbo himself walked calmly to his throne and sat down. Commissing to bake new heads as they were needed, the baker said good-night, and as it was growing late the others said good-night too, and marched back to the village to repair the damage done by the storm. But in the castle itself there was little sleep that night. King Fumbo never closed his prune eyes, for the baker had given him no eyelids. Prince Tatters, though packed off early to bed, could do nothing but twist in turn and think
Starting point is 00:22:16 of the wonderful adventures he would have seeking his fortune. Mrs. So-and-so sat up till the morning star rose over Red Mountain, mending and piecing the few poor garments the Prince possessed, and thinking up good advice to give him with his breakfast. Grandpa, too, had much to occupy him, oiling his gun, packing his knapsack and polishing his sword and game leg. Many old soldiers do a lot of talking about game legs. Grandpa had the real genuine article. It buckled on at the knee and was an oblong red and white ivory box that opened out like
Starting point is 00:22:54 a checkerboard when one wanted to play. Jointed neatly on the end of this was another red box that Grandpa used for a foot, and that contained the little red figures one used for playing. The game itself was known as Scrum and was a great favorite in Ragbad, being a bit like checkers, a bit like Parchisi, and a bit like chess. Grandpa was very proud of his game leg, for it not only served him in place of the one he had lost in battle, but wild away many dull hours and being hollow was a splendid place to store his pipe and tobacco.
Starting point is 00:23:34 The old soldier had seventy-five pipes, and deciding which of these to carry with him took longer than all his other preparations. At last, even this important matter was settled, and he lay down to snatch a few hours sleep before morning. And morning came in almost no time, the sun rising so bright and cheerily that even Mr. So-and-so took heart, and when Grandpa stuck his head in the kitchen door to see how breakfast was coming, she told him how she intended to refurnished the entire castle when he returned with the King's Head and the fortune. "'Fine!' cried the old soldier, who was in excellent spirits himself.
Starting point is 00:24:16 "'And if you will just sew a button on this shirt, I'll be ready to start at once.' So while Grandpa went on with the breakfast, Mrs. So-and-so, who was frightfully clever with her needle, sewed a button on the shirt. That was all Grandpa needed to complete his outfit, so he hurried upstairs to waken the Prince, and at eight o'clock precisely the old soldier and Tatters issued forth from the palace gates. Grandpa wore the red uniform of the rag-bag guards with its scarlet coat and checkered trousers, and carried not only his knapsack gun and sword, but his trusty drum as well. Prince Tatters over his mini-colored rag suit had flung the shaggy skin of a threadbare,
Starting point is 00:25:02 and with the big umbrella grasped firmly in one hand and a box of lunch in the other, presented so brave and determined an appearance that the twenty-seven good men of Ragbad, drawn up to bid them farewell, burst into loud cheers. The children waved their hats and handkerchiefs and strewed the path of the two heroes with the bunches of posies and ragweed
Starting point is 00:25:25 they had risen at dawn together. Mr. So-and-so and the king stood on the balcony waving their arms, she waving both hers and his, far poor Fumbo with his doughhead had no way of knowing what the excitement was all about, and stood there without so much as blinking a prune. "'Good-bye!' choked Mrs. So-and-so, steadying Fumbo with one hand and fluttering her apron with the other.
Starting point is 00:25:53 "'Don't forget your father's head!' "'Good-bye!' shouted Pudge, leaning far out of his window in the tower to wave his red nightcap. Pudge never rose till ten. Grandpa touched his cap. Prince Tatters waved his umbrella, and having taken the patched flag of Ragbad from Scuggles, who had accompanied them thus far, they wheeled sharply to the left
Starting point is 00:26:18 and marched down the broad red highway that led out into other and dangerous lands of Oz. End of Chapter 2. Chapter 3 of Grandpa in Oz by Ruth Plumley. Thompson. This Librivox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 3. The Blue Forest of Oz. Grandpa, said Prince Tatters, after the two adventurers had marched along for a time in silence, Pudge did not tell us where to look from my father's head, nor where to find the princess
Starting point is 00:27:00 and the fortune. Trust a wise man for that, replied the old soldier, striking a match on his game leg and lighting his pipe. Then where are we going, Grandpa? asked the prince, shifting his umbrella to his other arm, and adjusting his stride to that at the old soldier. That, puffed Grandpa, depends on the fourpence. Stopping short, he took a small coin from his pocket. On one side was the head of King Fumbo, and on the other the coat of arms of Ragbad.
Starting point is 00:27:34 I may not be a wise man, explained Grandpa. tossing the coin in his palm, But I am sure your father's head can only be restored by magic. There are but two people left in Oz who are permitted to practice magic. One is Glenda, the good sorceress, and the queen of our own quadling country. And the other is the Wizard of Oz who lives in the palace of Princess Asma, ruler of all Oz. Tatters nodded impatiently, for he had learned all this in his history book. So, continue.
Starting point is 00:28:07 Grandpa, we must march either to the east, for Glenda's castle is in that direction, or to the north to the Emerald City and the Palace of Osma of Oz. Which shall it be? Heads for Osma, arms for Glenda. Up flew the four pence, and Prince Tatters, dropping on his knee, gave a little cry of delight, for Fumbo's head was uppermost. The king has decided himself, chuckled Grandpa, pocketing the coin. so north we go to the Emerald City.
Starting point is 00:28:41 We'll be on our way, my lad, and who knows, but on the way we may pick up a fortune or a princess, and a couple of new pipes, and some rare old Oz tobacco. Finished the old soldier, half-closing his eyes. These last two items did not interest Prince Tatters, but the thought of visiting the capital of Oz, of seeing Princess Aspa the little fairy ruler, and being presented at court sent the prince who had spent his whole life in the shabby little kingdom of Ragbad marching along the red highway so fast that Grandpa had to do double time
Starting point is 00:29:19 to keep up with him. Tatters began rehearsing all Mrs. So-and-so had taught him of court manners and speech and wondering whether he had better speak to Grandpa about his bad habits. The old soldier had but two. One was eating with his sword, the other was taking snuff. But after a sidelong glance at Grandpa, trudging happily at his side, the Prince decided to wait until they reached the Emerald City before offering any advice on etiquette. Even Tatters did not realize how long a journey this would be. He knew in a general way that Oz is a great oblong kingdom, divided into four large countries and many small ones, and that the Emerald City is in the exact center.
Starting point is 00:30:06 On the maps of Oz in the Prince's geography, the southern quadling country was marked in red. The country of the west, which was settled by the Munchkins, was marked in blue, the northern Gilligan country in purple, and the land of the Winkies, which lay to the east, was colored yellow, for these were the national colors of the countries represented. Though Grandpa and Tatters had, by this time left Ragbat far behind them, They were still in the quadling country, and all the little farms and villages they passed were of cheery red brick or stone, and the people themselves dressed in the quaint red costume of the South. Chulips, poppies, and red roses knotted over the tall hedges, the fields, rusty with
Starting point is 00:30:53 sorrel, had a reddish tinge, and all along the highway giant red maples arched their lacy branches. At noon they stopped under one of these maples and had a bite of the lunch, Mr. So-and-so had prepared for them. But their pause was short, for both were anxious to reach the Emerald City as soon as possible, to learn from the Wizard of Oz the best way to recover Fumbo's head. To make the marching easier, the old soldier played a lively rat-tat upon his drum, and as they passed through the quiet, quaddling villages, many heads were popped out of the windows to see what all the racket was about. but soon these villages became farther and farther apart and the country more wild and unsettled and just as the sun slipped down behind the tree-tops they came to the edge of a deep blue forest
Starting point is 00:31:48 oh a long march puffed the old soldier mopping his forehead but we're getting along my lad for this is the beginning of the munchkin country do you think it's safe asked prince tatters peering anxiously into the gloomy forest. Safe? cried Grandpa scornfully. Well, I hope not. Fortunes are never found in safe places, my boy. Shouldn't wonder if there were a bear behind every tree, he continued cheerfully.
Starting point is 00:32:19 Shouldn't wonder if there were a dragon or two lying and wait for us. Come on. Thrusting his drumsticks through his belt and waving his sword, the old soldier plunged recklessly into the blue forest, shouting the national air of Ragbad at the top of his lungs. Oh, hush, begged Prince Tatters, glancing uneasily from side to side, and treading close upon Grandpa's heels.
Starting point is 00:32:46 Someone might hear you. Oh, what's that? For with a shrill scream, a great bird had risen from the branches of a tree just ahead and flown squawking into the air. "'Hah! That's supper!' chuckled the old soldier, and raising his gun he took aim and fired. There was a sharp crack as the bullet struck home. Then down fell a large reddish fowl. "'Well?' the fowl rasped sulkily as Prince Tatters and Grandpa ran forward.
Starting point is 00:33:21 "'What am I supposed to do now? I've never been shot before.' "'A bird that shot is not supposed to do any. said the old soldier severely. Oh, sighed the bird, that's easy. And putting down its head, it lay quietly on its side. It's a rooster! exclaimed the prince, touching it with one hand. An iron rooster! At this the bird sprang up indignantly.
Starting point is 00:33:50 You may shoot me if you want, but I'll not lie here and let you call me names, it shrilled angrily. Where are your eyes? Can't you see you? I'm a weathercock? Do you suppose I'd have wasted a good bullet on you if I had? I may have an iron constitution, but I don't eat cast-iron birds, sniffed Grandpa. What do you mean flying through the forest, deceiving hungry travelers?
Starting point is 00:34:14 I don't know what I mean, replied the weathercock calmly, for I've only been alive since last night. What do you mean yourself, pray? Must everything have a meaning like a riddle? "'Grandpa stroked his whiskers thoughtfully over this remark. "'But how did you come to be alive?' asked the prince, leaning on his red umbrella and regarding the bird with deep interest, for even in Oz whether cocks usually stick to their poles.
Starting point is 00:34:44 "'There was a storm!' explained the cock, lifting one claw. "'Lightening, thunder, wind, and rain! "'One minute I was whirling around on the top of my barn. and next minute I was spinning through space. Then all at once I came in contact with a live wire. There was a flash. I was charged with a strange force. And to my infinite amazement, I found that my wings would work and that I could crow.
Starting point is 00:35:14 So I crew and flew and flew and crew till I fell exhausted in this forest. Hmm, grunted Grandpa, a likely story. in the first place there are no live wires in Oz, and Oz, screeched the weathercock. I didn't say Oz. I was on a barn near Chicago when the storm broke. Have you never heard of Chicago, you odd-looking old creature? Never, answered Grandpa emphatically. But wherever you started from, you're in Oz now, and you might as well get used to it. Come along, Tatters, there's nothing to be gained by arguing it only makes me hungry. But tell me, the weathercock fluttered into the air.
Starting point is 00:36:02 What am I to do with my life? Keep it, if you can, chuckled the old soldier, and start it off between the trees. But tatters was loath to leave this singular bird. Let him come with us, Grandpa, coaxed the prince. He won't need anything to eat, and he might help us find the fortune. Yes, do, crowed the weather-cock. I can wake in you in the morning, tell you which way the wind blows, and fall upon the heads of your enemies.
Starting point is 00:36:33 Have you any enemies? The weathercock asked hopefully. Not yet, murmured the prince, looking ahead into the shadows, but shouldn't wonder if he would make a good fighter, reflected Grandpa, half-closing his eyes. Never saw a cock yet that wasn't game. Do you agree to join this company, obey all commands, and go by the name of Bill? "'I'll go by the name of Bill, but what name shall I come by?' asked the weathercock, putting its head on one side.
Starting point is 00:37:02 "'The same, you are an idiot!' shouted Grandpa, who was a bit short-tempered. "'Do you agree?' "'Yes,' crowed the weathercock, putting up his claw solemnly. "'Then forward fly,' commanded the old soldier, "'and up into the air with a rusty creek flung the weathercock, and just beneath marched Grandpa and the Prince. As they progressed through the ever-darkening forest, Tatters told Bill of the great storm in Ragbad
Starting point is 00:37:34 how he was seeking his father's head and his own fortune. Your father lost his head in the same storm I found my life, weased the weathercock earnestly. So it is only fair that I should help you. Ah, we shall be helped by fair means or foul, chuckled the old soldier, who would have his little joke, but it was lost on Bill, who was already looking around for the king's head and the fortune. And though he was not quite sure what a fortune was, he felt confident that he should find one.
Starting point is 00:38:08 It had grown so dark by now that Grandpa soon called a halt. Under a tall blue tree, the little company May Camp. Bill was most helpful in collecting wood, and Prince Tatteras put up the wrong. red umbrella, which was so large that it served them admirably as a tent. A little beyond the rim of the umbrella, Grandpa kindled a fire, and after a cozy supper of toasted sandwiches, the old soldier unbuckled his leg, and he and Prince Tatters settled down to a quiet game of scrum. Bill flew to the top of the blue tree to observe the wind and the weather, and nothing could have been more peaceful. The stars twinkled me.
Starting point is 00:38:51 merrily above, the fire crackled cheerily below, and Tatters had just beaten Grandpa two games to one, when a hundred little snaps in the underbrush made them turn in alarm. Great gum-drops, gasped the old soldier, jumping to his foot. Tatters snatched up the umbrella, and, using it for a shield, began to back away, for in the circle of the firelight, and completely surrounding the blue tree. stood a company of bandits. They were tall and terrible, with great slouch hats and blue boots. Pistols and daggers by the dozen bristled in their belts,
Starting point is 00:39:34 and nothing could have been fiercer than their whiskered faces and scowling brows. For a moment no one spoke. Grandpa frowned angrily, and Prince Tatters tried to look as if he was not scared. As usual, Bill was calm. "'Are you going to stop here and let them call you gum-drops?' sneered the leader, plucking a dagger from his boot. He took one stride forward, then pitched on his face and lay perfectly still, for the weathercock, convinced that this was an enemy, had fallen hard upon his head.
Starting point is 00:40:14 The suddenness of the blow surprised the outlaws, and while they drew back in confusion, Grandpa leaned down, seized his wooden leg and buckling it on as he ran, joined Prince Tatters, who by this time had his back against the tree. "'Go it, Bill!' shouted the old soldier, laying about with his drumsticks. "'Here I go by the name of Bill!' shrieked the excited weathercock, rising into the air again. "'Here I come by the name of Bill.
Starting point is 00:40:47 Sucum, you blue monster!' And down went a scum. second bandit. This enraged the others, and though Prince Tatters spoked away valiantly with the big umbrella, and Grandpa knocked out three of the outlaws with his drumsticks, and Bill fell upon the heads of two more, they were hopelessly outnumbered. In a minute more they were overpowered, bound with heavy ropes and dragged through the forest to the bandit's camp.
Starting point is 00:41:17 Even the weathercock swung head down from the belt of one of the robbers. End of Chapter 3. Chapter 4 of Grand Pionaz by Ruth Plumley Thompson. This Libre Vox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 4. The Baffled Bandits. So disappointed I could cry, blubbered the robber chief, pulling out his red handkerchief. Shake them again, Scali. Shake them hard. before him on the ground lay the few possessions of Grandpa and Tatters, an old silver watch,
Starting point is 00:42:01 the four-pence a rusty penknife and two copper medals. The chief had recovered from the terrible blow of the cast-iron weathercock, but had a large black lump over one eye. Bill, who insisted on crowing in a dozen different keys, had been muffled in the bandit's cloak and put under a rock. "'I told you they were a poor lot,' sniffed Scally. But nevertheless he seized first Grandpa, and then tatters, and shook them violently by the heels.
Starting point is 00:42:35 This he could easily do, being eight feet tall and exceedingly muscular. Two red gumdrops rolled out of Grandpa's pocket, but that was all. "'And they're not even frightened,' complained the bandit in a grieved. voice as Scally set the two roughly on their feet. "'Frightened!' puffed Grandpa indignantly. After the two terrible shakings he had only breath enough to puff. "'You don't think a flock of bush-wacking bandits like you could frighten an old soldier like me, and a young prince like Tatters, did you?'
Starting point is 00:43:11 "'Prince?' gasped the bandit, blinking at Tatters through the smoke of the wood fire, while the rest of the outlaws began to slap their knees and Roar with merriment. Yes, prince, shrilled Grandpa, and don't make faces at me, you ugly villain. Well, roared the chief after another long look at tatters. He may be a prince to his mother, but he's a pain in the eye to me. Then shut your eyes, advised Grandpa promptly. I'd do it for you if I were not tied up.
Starting point is 00:43:48 In a fair fight I'd beat you any day. "'We've taken everything they have. "'Shall we hang them or let them go?' asked Scally in a bored voice. "'No, you haven't!' screamed Grandpa defiantly. "'No, you haven't. "'Take my picture, you scoundrel. "'Take my rheumatism. "'Take my advice and clear out of this forest before I report you to the Princess of Oz.'
Starting point is 00:44:17 "'Even Prince Tatters, who really was frightened at the fierce appearance of the bandit, had to laugh a little at the surprised expression on the chief's face as the old soldier continued to stamp and scold. And the more Grandpa scolded, the more cheerful the bandit became. It reminds me of my old father, he remarked in an admiring undertone to Skelly. "'Does your old father know you're a bandit?' shouted Grandpa sternly, holding up honest adventurers and getting your living by breaking the law. Father always told me to take things easy, replied the chief, popping one of grandpa's gum-drops
Starting point is 00:44:57 into his mouth. Vega, he said to be over and over again. Always take things easy, my boy. And I do, grinned the robber wickedly. But business is mighty slow in this forest lately. Kings and princes are getting poorer and poorer every day. Look at him! He waved scornfully at tatters.
Starting point is 00:45:20 Not worth a shoe-bub-buy. and the whole week it has been the same story. All we got today was a wizard, but he was as false as his whiskers, couldn't even change leaves to gold or sticks to precious stones. All he had with him was a bottle of patent medicine. Now medicine, yawned Vega, touching with his boot a long green bottle that lay with a heap of rubbish near the fire, is something I never take. But I thought wizards were not allowed to practice magic in Oz, put in tatters, surprised into speech by the bandit's last statement.
Starting point is 00:45:58 It's against the law, isn't it? So war bandits, roared Vega, but I'm here just the same, my boy, taking things easy, and when I've saved up enough, I'm going to open an inn and take things easier still. Another way to rob honest travelers, groaned the old soldier. but now, as you've taken our fourpence and our time, untie these bonds and we'll return to our camp. Let him tell his story, suggested Scali. It might entertain us, and they certainly owe us something for all this trouble. No, I've decided to make out laws of them, announced Vega calmly. The old one is a fine fighter, and can be a father to me.
Starting point is 00:46:44 The young one would frighten anybody. As for the cast iron bird, it can be melted up into bullets. What shall we do now? whispered tatters, seizing Grandpa's arm. The old soldier winked encouragingly. Not bad at all, he murmured aloud, as if he were half pleased at the idea of being a bandit. Plenty of fighting, and it's as good a way as any to make a fortune. Swear us in, Mr. Vagabandit. Swear us in, my son. The band of chief was surprised and overjoyed at Grandpa's change of heart. He immediately ordered Skelly to untie the captives.
Starting point is 00:47:24 Each was given a black mask and a dagger, and, having raised their hands and solemnly agreed to break every law in Oz, they were welcomed with cheers and shouts into the outlaw band. After the excitement had died down, they all gathered about the fire, and Grandpa told them the history of Ragbad, how he had got his game leg, and of the 980 great battles he had fought in. The bandits listened attentively at first, but the old soldier's recital was so long that presently one and then another of the bandits fell asleep.
Starting point is 00:48:03 And by the time Grandpa had reached the 900th battle, the whole company lay sprawled about the fire, snoring like good fellows instead of bad ones. Prince Tatters, his head on the skin of the old thread bear, was asleep, too. "'He-ha, more ways than one of winning a battle,' chuckled the old soldier, smiling behind his whiskers. First he recovered his watch medals and the four-pents. They were still on the ground beside Vega. Pr protruding from the robber's pocket was a rough blue pouch.
Starting point is 00:48:39 Very carefully the old soldier drew it out. "'This will pay for the shakings,' said Grandpa, storing it away in his game leg. "'I'll sample the scoundrel's tobacco when we're well out of this. As he straightened up, the long green bottle of patent medicine caught his eye. "'I'll take this along, too,' he muttered, sticking it in his pocket. "'Maybe it will help my rheumatism.'
Starting point is 00:49:04 The fire had died down, and it was so dark and forbidding in the blue forest that Grandpa decided to snatch a few hours' rest before making an escape. Stretching unconcernedly beside long-legged scally, he fell into a deep and peaceful slumber. And so well-trained was this old campaigner that in two hours exactly he awoke. The sun had not yet risen, but in the dim gray light of early morning, Grandpa could make out the forms of the sleeping bandits.
Starting point is 00:49:37 Stepping softly, so is dead. not to awaken them. He touched tatters on the shoulder. The prince started up in alarm but when Grandpa, with fingers to his lips, motioned for him to come, he seized his red umbrella and tiptoed after him. "'Have I lived to this age to be an old father to a bandit?' "'Offed Grandpa indignantly as they hurried along.' He shook his fist over his shoulder. "'Farther and farther away is what I'll be.' Grandpa laughed a little at his joke. But we can't go without Bill, he muttered suddenly as they passed the rock, under which the robbers had thrust the valiant weathercock.
Starting point is 00:50:18 With some difficulty they lifted off the rock and, first whispering strict orders for silence, unwound Bill from the various coats and cloaks. Then, Tatters, fearing the creek of Bill's wings would arouse the bandits, stuck him under one arm. Wish I knew where they kept their supplies, whispered the old son. soldier, as they pushed on through the heavy underbrush and made their way around gnarled old trees. My teeth need some exercise. What a dreadful lot of crows there are in this forest," mused the prince, who had scarcely heard Grandpa's last remark.
Starting point is 00:50:54 Why the trees are black with them." "'Well, do you expect me to eat crow?' sniffed the old soldier, waving his sword, to disperse a flock of the birds that were circling around his head. No, but Tatters got no further, for at that instant, crows of an entirely different nature made them both leap into the air. The sun had risen in as the first rays penetrated into the dim forest. Bill flew out of Tatter's arms and, perching on a low branch, burst into such a brazen clamor of cockadoodle-dos that the whole forest rang with it. Hush, halt, stop that alarm, gasped Grandpa.
Starting point is 00:51:39 Now you've done it. Oh, Bill, how could you? groaned the prince. Snatching off the skin of the threadbare, he flung it over the iron weathercock, and seizing him unceremoniously, began to run after Grandpa. They had already put a goodly distance between themselves and the bandits, but a few minutes after Bill's crowing, shots came echoing through the wood, and the next instant they could hear the outlaws crashing through the brush.
Starting point is 00:52:12 They sounded like a herd of elephants. "'We'll have to hide,' panted the old soldier. "'Here, crawl into this hollow tree.' Without a moment's hesitation, Grandpa dove into the tree himself, and tatters, taking a firmer hold on Bill and the red umbrella, followed. "'Is there room?' gasp the prince. Grandpa, are you there? But Grandpa was not there.
Starting point is 00:52:41 Neither for that matter was Tatters himself. For his feet, instead of resting on earth, rested on nothing. A great wind whistled past his ears and blew his hair straight on end. The temperature's falling. The voice of the weathercock came stuffily through the bearskin. Everything's falling. "'Gasped the Prince of Ragbad, hugging, Bill and the red umbrella, "'loats to his chest, everything!'
Starting point is 00:53:12 "'You can easily understand what had happened. "'There was no bottom to the hollow tree. "'When Grandpa, Prince Tatters, and Bill, "'rolled into the hole, they simply disappeared. "'They dropped, down, down, down.' "'End of Chapter 4. Chapter 5 of Grandpa in Oz by Ruth Plumley Thompson. This Libre-Vox recording is in the public domain.
Starting point is 00:53:48 Chapter 5. Down the Hollow Tree. Now, falling when you first start is a hair-raising business. But after you have fallen for a mile in twenty minutes and nothing serious happens, you grow rather used to the feel of it, and that's how it was with tatters. Bill, he shouted presently. He had to shout for the rush of air carried away his words as fast as they were spoken. Bill, where do you suppose we're falling to? South by west, growled the weathercock promptly.
Starting point is 00:54:27 The prince would have liked to continue the conversation, but it took too much breath. So he began planning how he should land without breaking Grandpa, for certainly Grandpa was somewhere below. Rather sorrowfully he reflected that they were falling farther away from the Emerald City every minute. He wondered where his father's head was, and what Mrs. So-and-so would think if she could see them tumbling down this hollow tree. Would it never grow lighter? Would they never reach the bottom? And what would happen when they did? Just as he came to this point in his wonderings, tatters dropped into a clump of
Starting point is 00:55:09 of pink bushes so hard that for several seconds he could do nothing but gasp." "'Well,' crowed Bill, beginning to flutter restlessly about in the bearskin, "'Are we here?' "'Yes, thanks to you. You're discharged,' roared the old soldier, as Prince Tatters picked up himself and his red umbrella. Grandpa had been less fortunate in his landing. He sat in the middle of a sender path, blinking rapidly, and as he had been a bit of a sender
Starting point is 00:55:36 path, blinking rapidly, and as Bill scrambled out of the bearskin and hopped after tatters, he raised his gun threateningly. "'You're discharged without pay,' repeated Grandpa angrily. "'What do you mean by crowing and betraying us to the enemy?' "'I couldn't help it,' answered Bill in an injured tone. "'It is the nature of a cock to crow and I've helped the sun to rise.' "'And us to fall,' scolded Grandpa. Well, you're discharged.
Starting point is 00:56:09 Rolling over with a groan, he drew the bottle of patent medicine from his pocket. Fortunately, it had not broken, but it had made a dreadful dent in Grandpa. But wherever in Oz are we, exclaimed Prince Tatters, trying to change the subject, for he did not intend to have Bill sent off in this hasty fashion. The old soldier pretended not to hear and continued to stare resentfully at the the bottle of medicine. On one side was pasted a green label, and Tatters, looking over his shoulder, read with some surprise, Sure, Cure for Everything, followed the directions on the bottle.
Starting point is 00:56:50 Beneath in tiny printing was a long list of ailments. Grandpa ran his finger hastily down the list, until he came to breaks, brains, and bruises. One spoonful immediately after falling, directed the bottle. Without a word, Grandpa took a tin spoon from his knapsack, uncarked the bottle, and swallowed the doze. Why, it's the wizard's medicine, cried Tatters, watching him anxiously, for no sooner was the stuffed down than a broad grin overspread Grandpa's face. "'Good thing I brought it along. Works just like magic. Never know I'd fallen,' puffed Grandpa. Completely restored to good humor. Better have some boys,' the old soldier smiled at his companions. Tatters, who was not heard at all, shook his head, and Bill, who had flown
Starting point is 00:57:46 into the air to examine the bottle, shook his wings. "'Well, good-bye,' weased the weathercock, hoarsely. "'You don't need me to direct you now. You can follow. the directions on the bottle. Here I go, he finished sulkily. Here I go by the name of Bill. Don't go, begged Tatteras, looking pleadingly at the old soldier. Now, Grandpa, remembering the splendid way Bill had fallen upon the bandits, had already relented, but he never apologized.
Starting point is 00:58:20 Company, fallen, he commanded gruffly, putting the wizard's medicine in his pocket. Tatters' wings. linked at Bill and Bill, muttering something about having fallen in already, began to march down the sender path. They had dropped into a small park surrounded by a hedge that grew up as high as they could see, a soft glow shone through the hedge, and by its rosy light, the three adventurers began to examine their surroundings with great interest. The park itself was pretty enough, but after marching in the lake, and the park, they were
Starting point is 00:58:56 searching entirely around it and finding no break in the hedge. Rampaw looked rather worried. "'It's a good enough place for a picnic,' puffed the old soldier, dusting his game leg. But then we're not on a picnic.' "'No,' sighed tatters, sinking down on a bench. "'We're not on a picnic, for there's nothing to eat. If you were made of iron like I am, you would never be hungry,' broed the weathercock proudly.
Starting point is 00:59:26 I am glad I am cast in iron, but what shall we do now, Mr. Grandpa? Fly up and see how high the hedge is, directed the old soldier, while Tatters and I try to cut an opening. Pleased to be of some service, Bill hurled himself upward, and Grandpa with his sword and Tatters with his rusty penknife began hacking at the hedge. But as fast as they cut away the twigs, others grew, and after ten minutes, and its hard work they gave up in despair. Then down came Bill with the discouraging news that he had flown as high as he could, and the top of the hedge was still nowhere in sight. But the wind is blowing north, finished the weathercock calmly.
Starting point is 01:00:14 Bother the wind, sputtered Grandpa. Must we stay here till we starve? groaned Tatters, and never find my father's head or the fortune at all. "'Fortune?' repeated Bill, putting his head on one side, as if the word brought something to his mind. "'Don't worry about that, for I have already found the fortune.' And while Grandpa and the prince stared at him in amazement, he touched with his claw a tiny golden key. It was suspended on a thin chain round his neck, and neither of them had noticed it before. "'Why, where did you get that?' asked Tess.
Starting point is 01:00:56 I picked it out of the robber's chief's pocket, explained Bill, rolling his eyes from one to the other. You'd make a fine bandit, chuckled Grandpa, but that's not a fortune, old fellow? Then what is a fortune? asked Bill, looking terribly disappointed. Grandpa pulled his whiskers thoughtfully, for a fortune, when you come right down to it is hard to explain. Well, he began slowly. It might be gold or jewels or land.
Starting point is 01:01:30 Anything precious and rare, he finished hastily. Isn't this gold? demanded Bill holding up the key. Oh, Grandpa, maybe it's the key to the bandit's treasure chest, interrupted Tatters excitedly. Let's go back and hunt for it. And how are you going? inquired the old soldier sarcastically. falling down trees is easy enough, but you can't fall up trees like you can fall up steps. However, he added quickly, seeing Tatters downcast face, there must be some way out. Let's look again.
Starting point is 01:02:10 I'm going to keep this key, mused Tatters in a more cheerful voice, for I believe it will help us. He gave Bill a little pat on the head as he took the chain off his neck, and, somewhat comforted but still mightily puzzled, the iron weathercock hopped after Grandpa. This time they circle the hedge more slowly, the old soldier taking one side and tatters and Bill the other. It was Bill who made the discovery. For shining through the leaves on the left side the weathercock caught the gleam of gold.
Starting point is 01:02:47 The fortune! he crowed loudly. The fortune! It was not a fortune, but a golden gate. And, pushing aside the leaves and twigs, Grandpa and Tatters stared through the bars into the loveliest garden they had ever seen. The gate was unlocked, and when Grandpa pressed upon it with his shoulder, it swung noiselessly inward. Fairly holding his breath, Tatters stepped in after the old soldier,
Starting point is 01:03:17 and Bill had just time to hop through before the gate swung shut again. Grandpa gave a low whistle and tatters an involuntary cry of admiration. Flowering vines and bushes fill the air with a delicate fragrance. Paths of silvery sand wound in and out among the trees and arbor. Crystal fountains splashed between the flower beds, and bordering each path and grass-grown lane were trees glowing with magic lanterns. that bloomed as gaily as the blossoms themselves, and lighted up the garden with a hundred rainbow sheens.
Starting point is 01:03:58 It was all so strange and beautiful that Tatters and Grandpa scarcely dare breathe, but Bill, having been alive only two days, seemed to think Magic Gardens' quite usual affairs. Come on, he called excitedly, let's find the fortune. But a golden sign on the nearest magic. tree had caught Tatter's eye, and paying no attention to Bill, he tiptoed over to it. "'This is the Garden of Gorba,' announced the sign. "'Mistery and magic in all his branches.' Grandpa had come up behind Tatters.
Starting point is 01:04:40 "'Gorba,' muttered the old soldier softly. "'Now where?' He pulled the bottle of patent medicine from his pocket, and squibanked. went it first at the sign and then at the bottle. The same, puffed Grandpa, for written in gold letters at the end of the list of ailments was the name Gorba. This must be the Garden of the Wizard that rascally bandit was telling us about, murdered Grandpa uneasily.
Starting point is 01:05:10 He must have been on his way here when they held him up. Maybe he's here now. Hush, be careful. Watch out now. I wouldn't trust a wizard as far. as I could swing a chimney by the smoke." End of Chapter 5. Chapter 6 of Grandpa in Oz by Ruth Plumley Thompson.
Starting point is 01:05:36 This Libre Vox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 6, the wizard's garden. Maybe he will tell me where to find my father's head, whispered Tatters excitedly. Well, admitted Grandpa, starting cautiously down one of the silver-pass, That would be a good turn, but a wizard's more likely to turn us into good gate-posts or caterpillars. I refuse to be a caterpillar, rasped the weather cock. He had flown down and was hopping close to Grandpa's heels.
Starting point is 01:06:11 I'll give him a peck in the eye. Rattling his iron wings, Bill looked around anxiously. Well, don't forget your under-orders snapped Grandpa severely. No forward falling, crowing or pecking, till I'm not. I give the word, understand. I don't believe he's a bad wizard, observed the prince quietly. His garden is too pretty. Pretty is as pretty does, sniffed Grandpa.
Starting point is 01:06:39 He's practicing magic, which is against the law, and you can't get around that. Besides, just here, Grandpa trod upon a small flag-stone path that led across a broad stretch of lawn, and never finished his sentence at all, for the stone rose a foot. into the air and started bouncing across the green. At such a rate, the old soldier teetered backward and forward and did a regular toe dance to keep his balance. Wait! shouted Tatters in alarm! And running after Grandpa himself stepped upon one of the lively flagstones. Up rose to stone, and the next thing, the Prince of Ragbad was bouncing after the old soldier, waving his red umbrella and calling frantically for Bill.
Starting point is 01:07:26 But Bill was already aboard the third stone, and before any of them had sense enough to jump, the stones bounced straight under a silver fountain, dumped off their three startled passengers, and went skipping back to their places in the walk. Variable winds and heavy showers, crowed Bill dismally. Scraps and scrimbage, sputtered the old soldier. I told you that wizard was a villain. Company fall out, he commanded gruffling. This the company lost no time in doing.
Starting point is 01:08:03 Oh, well, laughed tatters rolling from under the drenching spray. It saves us the trouble of washing our faces. But what made them do it, Grandpa? Grandpa gave himself an angry shake, and marched stiffly over to the flag-stone path. Carved neatly on the last stone were these words. Gorba's stepping-stones. guaranteed for seven centuries.
Starting point is 01:08:28 Stand on the right foot to go east. On the left to go west. Stand on both feet to go south. To go north, stand on your head. Well, north's the way we want to go, cried Tatters eagerly, as Grandpa finished reading. Maybe they'll carry us all the way to Emerald City. Not me, snorted the old soldier, taking a pinch of snuff.
Starting point is 01:08:53 Stand on your head if you like, but I'm going to travel right side up or not at all. Do you want to break your neck, he demanded indignantly. It would be a little rough, admitted tatters, remembering the way the stones had bumped, but it's pretty good magic just the same. Grandpa grunted contemptuously and tightened the fastenings of his game leg, but even the old soldier could not stay cross long in this enchanting garden, And when a moment later they happened upon a cluster of peach trees, he grew quite cheerful again. Always did like peaches for breakfast, he sighed, impaling one on his sword.
Starting point is 01:09:36 Twirling the sword and taking little bites all round, he looked with half-closed eyes down the long vistas of lantern lanes. I wish Mrs. So-and-so could see this, sighed the old soldier pensively. Tatters nodded, but he was impatient to see more of the wizard's garden, so filling his pockets with peaches he ran down the narrowest of the lanes after Bill, who had already flown ahead to have another look for the fortune. Opening out from this lane was a smaller and enclosed garden filled with the strangest bushes Tatter had ever seen. Each one grew in the shape of an animal. There were bears, tigers, lions, elephants, and deer, and the eyes, noses, and mouths were marked by blossoms of the proper size and shape that grew cunningly just where they were needed.
Starting point is 01:10:31 They looked so lifelike that for a moment the prince was frightened. But after he had prodded a lion-bush with his umbrella and neither roared nor elashed its green tail, he proceeded from one to the other quite as if he were in a museum. And certainly, gorgeous animals were queer enough to grace any museum. "'Wonder how we make some grow this way,' murdered Tatters, finishing his last peach. "'Might as well wonder how he happens to be a wizard,' chuckled Grandpa, who had come up quietly behind him. "'Why, this is better than a zoo! It's a whole blooming menagerie,
Starting point is 01:11:11 and if we knew the secret of it, we could travel all over Oz growing deer and rabbit bushes in the castle gardens, and your fortune would be made in no time. But as we don't know the secret of it, concluded Grandpa, squinting at his old Silver Watch, we'd better forward march and see if we can find a way out of here. With many backward glances, Tatters followed him down another of the lantern lanes, but they had scarcely gone halfway when the hoarse voice of the weathercock came screeching overhead. The princess, the princess, I have found the princess, crowed Bill, falling with an iron clang in the path before them. Be quiet, warned the old soldier anxiously.
Starting point is 01:11:59 Do you want the wizard to get you? Now then, what's all this nonsense about a princess? Grandpa winked at Tatters, and Tatters winked back, for neither of them had much faith in Bill's discoveries. But the weathercock was too excited to mind. mind. Hopping stiffly ahead and pausing every few seconds to urge them forward with the wave of his wing, he led them to the very center of the enchanted garden. There, on a bed of softest moss, surrounded by a rose-blown hedge, lay the loveliest little maiden you could ever imagine. "'The princess!' repeated Bill huskily. "'The princess!'
Starting point is 01:12:42 "'You're wrong,' breathe the old soldier. pushing back his cap and tiptoeing forward. You're wrong. It's the queen of the May. And it surely seemed that Grandpa had guessed correctly, for Bill's princess was a little lady of flowers. Her face, hands, and neck were of the tiniest white blossoms. Her eyes, deep blue violets, her mouth a rosebud, and her nose and brows delicately marked with pink stems.
Starting point is 01:13:13 Her hair, blowing backward and forward, and the fragrant breeze, was the finest spray of flowering fern, and her dress was most enchanting of all. The waist was of every soft silken flower you could think of, buttoned all the way down the front with pansies, while her skirts, a thick cluster of blossoming vines, fluttered gaily about her tiny lady slippers. "'Why?' exclaimed the prince of Ragbad. "'She's growing in the flower-bed.
Starting point is 01:13:43 "'Oh, Grandpa, if she were only alive!' "'I wish she were myself,' sighed the old soldier. "'The wizard must know a deal of magic to grow a little fairy like that. "'Mine what you're about there,' he calls sharply to Bill. "'The weathercock had flown over the hedge "'and was hopping so close to the flower-girl it made Grandpa nervous.' "'But look!' crowed Bill. "'Lookie, look!'
Starting point is 01:14:10 "'Under the hedge, and padlocked to a small, iron ring in the ground was a gold watering can. It did not take Grandpa and Tatters long to leap over the hedge after that. For as the old soldier said himself, the wizard was doubtless away, and it was their plain duty to see that this little flower-maid had a freshening spray before they left the garden. First Tatters tried to wrench the can loose. The golden chain on the padlock was so slender it should have broken on the first tug,
Starting point is 01:14:43 But it held like iron. Then Grandpa tried his hand, but with no better luck. Next, both Grandpa and Tatters tugged together, Bill doing his bit by jerking out the prince's coattails. Oh, more magic, panted Grandpa, sucking his thumb. The only way to get it loose is to find the key. The key, shrill, Tatters, suddenly diving into his pocket. Why, I wonder if this is the key.
Starting point is 01:15:13 Jubilantly he produced the tiny gold key Bill had taken from the bandit, and the next instant he had fitted it in the padlock. Vega must have stolen that from the wizard when he took the medicine, mused Grandpa. And that wizard's mighty particular with his old gold can. He sniffed scornfully as Tatter slid it from the chain. Here I'll fill it at the fountain. But it's already full, answered the Prince of Ragbad, giving it a little shake. Running over to the mossy bed, he tilted the gold can forward and sprayed the little flower lady from top to toe. Stars!
Starting point is 01:15:54 No sooner had the last drop fallen than a perfectly amazing thing happened, so amazing that Grandpa and Tatters clutched each other to keep from tumbling over backwards and Bill flew screaming into the nearest tree. For the little flower maiden slowly and gracefully rose from her bed, poised a moment on tiptoe, and then, with a merry little laugh, bounded over to Grandpa and Tatters, and seized their hands. Next thing, they were whirling round and round in the jolliest fashion imaginable, faster and faster and faster, till everything grew blurred and all three tumbled down in a heap. Oh, forget me nuts, isn't that farce? fun, trilled the little flower girl, jumping lightly to her feet. Oh, I've wanted to do that always.
Starting point is 01:16:49 Who, who are you? gasped Tatters. For Grandpa, between loss of breath and astonishment, was perfectly speechless. Why, just my own self, smiled the little creature, flinging back her feathery hair. How do you blow? How do you blow? shrieked Bill, falling in a heap beside her. "'He means, how do you do?' "'Puffed Grandpa, laughing in spite of himself. "'You'll have to excuse him for he's a weathercock and used to talking in Augusta.'
Starting point is 01:17:20 Then, as the little maiden still seemed puzzled, Grandpa finished his sentence. "'Austra wind,' chuckled the old soldier with a wink that made them all laugh, except Bill, who continued to regard the flower girl intently. "'Are you a princess?' asked Bill, with his head anxiously on one side. No, mused the little girl slowly. I don't think I'm a princess.
Starting point is 01:17:47 Let me see. Oh, I remember now the old wizard telling the birds my name was Eartha, because I'm made of Earth. Go along with you, then, snapped Bill Crossley. We're looking for a princess. Don't mind him, begged Tatters, jumping up hastily. Tell us about yourself, Miss Posey, cried Grandpa, straightening his happened, feeling his game legs slyly. In the dance it had turned completely around.
Starting point is 01:18:17 "'I declare you're the loveliest little lady I've met in all my travels.' The roses and earthless cheeks seemed to grow pinker at Grandpa's words. "'There isn't much to tell,' she began softly. "'I don't seem to remember anything but this garden. I guess I just grew.' She finished with a little bounce that sent her skirting. flying out in every direction. And whatever was in that gold watering-can brought you to life. I believe you're a fairy, said the old soldier solemnly.
Starting point is 01:18:53 No, no, laughed the little flower-girl, seizing a long, trilling vine. I'm just, Ertha. And using the vine as a skipping-rope, she flashed up and down the silver path so swiftly that it made Tatters and Grandpa bluish. just to follow her dancing steps. "'What are you going to do now that you are alive?' asked Tatters, as she paused for a moment beside him. "'Just going to be happy in this garden,' replied Ertha with a little shake of her lovely
Starting point is 01:19:25 fern hair. "'I wish we could stay, too,' sighed Tatters, for he could think of no end of games he could teach Ertha, and even the Emerald City he reflected could not be lovelier than this enchanting. garden. Grandpa gave a start at Tatter's words, and suddenly recalled to his duty, gathered up his gun and knapsack. "'It's been a pleasure to know you, my dear,' said Grandpa gallantly, taking off his cap, but we'll have to be marching on now, for we've a long journey before us. Oh, Ertha gave a little cry of dismay. Didn't you grow in the garden, too?' Grandpa shook his head, and as quickly as he could,
Starting point is 01:20:10 told her how King Fumbo had lost his head, and how he and Tatters had set out to seek it and the Prince's fortune. Ertha was almost as much puzzled over a fortune as Bill. Indeed, the whole of Grandpa's story was confusing, for you see it was the first story the little flower maiden had ever heard. But Prince Tatters and the old soldier interested her tremendously. She touched Grandpa's medals shyly, and could not admire Tatteras-patched in many-colored suit enough. As for Bill, she blew him so many kisses that the embarrassed weathercock flew and hit himself in an oleander bush.
Starting point is 01:20:55 Saying goodbye to dear little Ertha was a difficult business, but at last Grandpa, with a very determined expression, shouldered his gun and Tatters reluctantly picked up his red umbrella. "'Come on!' shouted Bill, impatiently sticking his head out of the bush. "'Come on, Elbowl never find the head, the fortune, and the princess!' As Ertha had not turned out at Princess, he had lost all interest in her. "'But I'll miss you,' sighed Ertha, and droop so sadly against a tree, that Tatters promptly fell out of line and began to comfort her. "'You won't miss us,' said Grandpa, looking uneasily at his watch.
Starting point is 01:21:39 you can't miss people you just met, you know. The old soldier was faced with a problem, the like of which he had never before encountered, and he was plainly at a loss to know what to do. I've known you longer than anyone else. I've known you my whole life, sighed Ertha, wistfully. But you've only been alive five minutes, smiled the old soldier indulgently. Why don't you join the army like I did? inquired Bill, who was anxious to be off. "'Oh, couldn't she?' begged Tatters eagerly.
Starting point is 01:22:13 Grandpa shifted his feet and looked uncertainly at the little flower maiden. She seemed too frail and delicate to set out on a journey of adventure. But, reflected the old soldier, "'If she's a fairy, nothing can harm her, and if she's not, someone ought to look out for her. As we brought her to life, we're responsible.' "'Come along with you,' cried Grandpa recklessly. So away through the wizard's garden marched this strange little army, the patched flag of Ragbad fluttering over the top of Tatter's red umbrella,
Starting point is 01:22:48 and the little flower maiden falling out of line every few minutes to dance gaily round a tree or skip merrily through a fountain. She fairly seemed to float above the flowers that blossomed along the way as her dainty feet slipped from daisy to daisy. Prince Tatters could hardly keep his eyes away, from Eartha as she danced along the way. And Grandpa smiled happily at the delight of the two happy young people. End of Chapter 6.
Starting point is 01:23:24 Chapter 7 of Grandpa in Oz by Ruth Plumley Thompson. This Libri Vox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 7. The Winding Stairway. It was twilight in the Wizard's Garden. All the lanterns burned low, and the birds twittered drowsily in the treetops. Grandpa and Tatters sat wearily upon a golden bench, for after a whole day's march they were no
Starting point is 01:23:54 nearer the Emerald City than before. Indeed, there seemed no way out of the enchanted garden. They had lunched satisfactorily on the fruit of a bread-and-butter bush, and Grandpa's knapsack was full of nicely spread slices. But for all that, each one of them felt tired of and downhearted. Eartha, on the contrary, was as fresh and merry as in the morning, and, seated under a willow-bush, was weaving a daisy chain for Bill. "'She is certainly a fairy,' mused Grandpa, and absently pulling a blossom from a nearby bush, he popped it into his mouth.
Starting point is 01:24:35 "'We'll take her back to Ragbad, my boy, and won't she liven up the old castle? I tell you now—' suddenly grandpa stopped speaking and clapped his hand to his belt his eyes grew rounder and rounder and tatters turning to see why he did not finish his sentence gave a little scream of fright help called the prince of ragbad in an agonized voice help help ertha was beside him in an instant while bill circled wildly overhead he's growing Breathe the little flower-maid softly. Yes, groaned Tatters, distractedly. He's growing a chimney. And Tatters was quite right.
Starting point is 01:25:24 Not only was the old soldier growing a chimney, but a bay window as well. The chimney had knocked off his cap and grown brick by brick as the horrified prince looked on. The bay window of fancy woodwork and glass jutted out at least three feet beyond grand, Grandpa's waistline. The old soldier had always been proud of his slim figure. Give me my pipe, panted Grandpa in a choked voice. He had no idea what was happening, but felt too terribly dreadful for words. Tatters sank on one knee, snatched the pipe from his place in the game leg, and lit it with trembling fingers.
Starting point is 01:26:06 Then it was that he caught sight of the sign on the bush beside Grandpa. "'House plants,' said the sign distinctly. "'Oh!' wailed the prince, suddenly remembering that Grandpa had eaten one of the blossoms. "'You've eaten a house-plant, and there's a chimney sticking out of your head.' "'There is,' Roy Grandpa, puffing away at his pipe in great agitation. "'Well, that's what comes of this pesky magic. "'A chimney!' "'Well, I'll try to bear it like a soldier.'
Starting point is 01:26:40 He finished grimly. A perfect cloud of smoke rose from the chimney at these valiant words. To overcome for speech, Tatters covered his face. "'Don't you care?' cried Ertha, flinging her arms round Grandpa's neck. "'It's a sweet little chimney, and so becoming.' "'The wind is blowing north,' crowed Bill disconsolately, following the direction of the smoke as it curled up Grandpa's chimney. "'If I see this wizard, I'll...
Starting point is 01:27:10 fall on his head. I'll give him a peck in the eye. Five pecks, but say. Bill paused in his circling and swooped down upon the old soldier. How about the medicine? Grandpa and Tatters had forgotten all about the wizard's green bottle, but at Bill's words the old soldier drew it quickly from his pocket. "'I don't believe there's any cure for chimneys,' puffed Grandpa, running his finger anxiously down the list. He was so nervous that his hands shook. To tell the truth, he expected to grow a flight of steps or a veranda any minute. Here, let me look, begged Tatters, snatching the bottle from Grandpa. But though there was everything on the green label from ear-rache to Lumbago, no mention was made of chimneys or bay windows at all. But it says cure for everything, insisted Bill,
Starting point is 01:28:07 perching stubbornly on Grandpa's shoulder. "'This is worse than a battle,' moaned Grandpa, rolling up his eyes. "'I'm poisoned, that's what I am.' "'Poisoned!' cried Bill triumphantly. "'Then find the cure for poison.' Howardly Tatters consulted the label. "'For poisons of any nature, two drops on the head directed the bottle. So, while Ertha and Bill watched nervously,
Starting point is 01:28:37 Tatters uncorked the bottle and let two drops of the magic liquid fall down Grandpa's chimney. There was a slight sizz. Tatters rubbed his eyes and Bill gave a crow of delight. The chimney had melted away and the bay window was gone and the gallant old soldier quite himself again. Ertha was so happy that she danced all the way around the golden bench and Grandpa jumped up and ran to look at himself in a little pond. No worse for it, mused the old soldier, stroking the top of his head tenderly, and patting his belt with great satisfaction. But that's the last bite I'll take in this garden.
Starting point is 01:29:21 As Grandpa turned to go, a particularly bright little flower-bed caught his attention. The flowers grew right before his eyes, dropped off their stems, and were immediately succeeded by other ones. Even in the dim lantern light, the old soldier could see that they were spelling out messages. Garba will return to the garden at twelve o'clock. This announcement bloomed gaily in red tulips, and while the old soldier was still staring at it in astonishment,
Starting point is 01:29:56 the tulips faded away, and another sentence formed in the bed. Who stays all night shall leave here, never. He'll be a lantern tree forever. In golden daffodils, the sentences danced before grandpa's eyes. A life sentence, panted the old soldier wildly, and without waiting for more, he plunged across the garden. Tatters, Bill, Eartha, shouted Grandpa, his own voice hoarse with excitement. The wizard's coming back, and we've got to get out of this garden-ar-be-lantern trees forever. "'For ever!' gasped the Prince of Ragbad, who had scarcely recovered from the chimney business. As fast as he could, Grandpa told of the flower messages, and when they hurried back to the bed,
Starting point is 01:30:49 a pansy sentence had already grown there. "'Good night,' said the pansies politely, then, fluttering off their stems, blew like gay little butterflies across the lawn. "'Good night!' choked Grim. Grandpa bitterly. It's the worst night I ever heard of. I won't be rooted to the spot, nor a tree for any old wizard whizzing. Come on, company, tension. Here I come by the name of Bill, crowed the weathercock, hurling into the air. But what are we coming to, panted tatters, shouldering his red umbrella dutifully,
Starting point is 01:31:27 while Ertha kept anxiously beside him. We're going back to those stepping stones, puffed Grandpa. stumping along determinedly. The lanterns winked lower and lower, and soon it was so dark and shadowy, they lost the path entirely. Smothering his alarm, Grandpa marched doggedly on,
Starting point is 01:31:49 bumping into benches and trees, but never once pausing. They ought to be here someplace, weezed the old soldier, and then stopped with a grunt, for he had run plumb into an iron-roar, railing in the dark. What is it?
Starting point is 01:32:07 Whispered tatters, straining his eyes in the gathering gloom. Why, it's a flight of steps, cried Grandpa in the next breath. Feeling for the gate, he entered the little enclosure and struck a match. By the flickering light he saw six circular golden steps, and on the top one in jeweled letters were just three words. Garba's winding stairway. Then the match sputtered and went out. "'Winding stairway,' puffed the old soldier joyfully.
Starting point is 01:32:42 "'Why, this must be the way out. They wind up, I'll bet a gum drop. Get aboard, everybody. Hurry! Here, loveliness!' Taking Earth's hand, Grandpa guided her up the first step. Tatter stood on the second with Bill on his shoulder. Grandpa mounted quickly to the top, and, striking another match, looked anxiously for directions. There were no more inscriptions, but under Gorba's name was a tiny gold handle.
Starting point is 01:33:12 The match was burning lower and lower, and just as it went out, Grandpa seized the handle and turned it sharply to the left. Then, Great Collie Walkers! Gaspy old soldier clutching at the rail. It's winding down! Poor Grandpa, in his hurry he had turned the handle, the wrong way. And next instant, the brave little company were whirling down the wizard's winding stairway, round and round, down and down, round and down, down and round, until they were too dizzy to know where they were going.
Starting point is 01:33:55 "'Hold on!' called Grandpa wildly. "'Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on!' And hold on was about all they could. do. End of Chapter 7. Chapter 8 of Grandpa in Oz by Ruth Plumley Thompson. This Libre Vox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 8.
Starting point is 01:34:25 Strange happenings in Perhaps City. On the same bright morning that Grandpa and Tatters started from Ragbad, the pier of perhaps city sat cozily breakfasting with Percy Veer. Percy was a poet, and attended to all the guesswork in perhaps city. True he was a terribly forgetful poet, but he did the best he could, and was a prime favorite with the old mountain monarch. Perhaps city itself is a tall, towered city of gold set high in the maybe mountains of
Starting point is 01:35:04 Oz. So steep in craggy are its peaks that none of the dwellers in the city ever descended into the valleys below. Indeed, there is little need of it, for life and perhaps city, owing to the jolly nature and good management of old peer haps, is so delightfully entertaining that the people have no desire to leave. The hapsies themselves are of the light-hearted and old-fashioned race of Winkies, who in old and Oz times settled all the countries of the east. The only one who ever left the city at all was Abrog, the high-sky-profit-es-lawful. of the realm, and to his goings and comings, no one paid much attention, for he was a queer,
Starting point is 01:35:47 silent old man, who spoke but once a year and only then to prophesy as to the weather, crops, and important events that would take place in the town. So far these events had all been happy and fortunate ones, and on this sun's shiny morning, old peer-haps, buttering his muffins in his cozy breakfast-room, felt so well, please, and content with his lot, that he fairly beamed upon Percy Veer. For his part, Percy Veer always was happy, and, beaming back at the king, he shook his long locks out of his eyes and laughed merrily at Old Pier. Percy Veer always felt that his patron enjoyed his breakfast, particularly if Percy opened
Starting point is 01:36:33 the proceedings with a verse, so he sang, as breakfast was served, this did he. O muffins mellow, light and clear, fit diet for a mountaineer. O muffins pale and yellow. O muffins sweet to sniff and eat how you refresh a— The poet's merry blue eyes grew round and puzzled, as they always did when he forgot a word. "'Fellow!' chuckled the pier, taking a sip of coffee. "'Percy, my child, you are ridiculous.' I am ridiculous. I know it. A young, a poor forgetful—oh—a poet—spluttered Pierre Haps with another chuckle.
Starting point is 01:37:19 Thanks, old Nutmeg! sighed Percy, helping himself to another muffin. You always know what I mean. Nutmeg! roared Peerhaps. He never got over being amused that Percy's informal way of addressing him. Nutmeg! Well, I'll be grated. And immediately he was, for at that very moment the folding doors flew open and in rushed Abrog the prophet. Greater than all other rulers in Oz, great of the greatest, began the old man, salamming before Pierre Hobbs. A great misfortune threatens, approaches is about to take place. What? cried Pierre, choking on the last bit of his muffin. It was strange enough to have Abrog speak at all when it was not the day for prophecy,
Starting point is 01:38:13 but to have him speak in this foreboding fashion was simply too terrible. Speak out, speak up, cried the forgetful poet, leaping to his feet. Speak out, speak up, and then get hints. We cannot stand this dire, this dire, this dire suspense finished peer-haps automatically. "'Yes, speak up, fellow,' he cried anxiously. "'In four days a monster will marry the princess,' wailed Abrog, pulling his peaked cap down over his eyes. "'In four days, four days, four days!'
Starting point is 01:38:54 And having said this, he began to gallop round the breakfast table, peer haps, and the forgetful poet right after him. You yourself can imagine the effect of such a message on the merry old pier of perhaps city. Why, he prized the little princess above all his possessions, yes, even above his little yellow hen, who was a bricklayer, and laid gold bricks instead of eggs. Indeed, she had done more than anyone else to lay the foundation of his fortune.
Starting point is 01:39:26 What kind of a monster? Sturred the forgetful poet, waving his muffin. "'Where is my daughter now?' demanded Pierre Haps. seizing Abrog by the whiskers, for there seemed no other way of stopping him. Abrog waved feebly toward the window, and, rushing across the room, the pier and the poet, stared out into the garden, where the sweetest little princess in all the countries of the east was gathering roses. She waved gaily to the two in the window, and with a shudder, perhaps turned back to Abrog.
Starting point is 01:40:01 "'Let me see the prophecy,' he demanded, holding out his hands. Abrog produced a crumpled parchment, and after one glance the old pier covered his face and sank groaning into his enormous armchair. The forgetful poet had read over his shoulder, and instantly burst into all the melancholy poems he knew. Oh, hushed, begged the old monarch at last, and you, he waved wildly at the prophet. Can you do nothing but run round that table like a merry-go-round goat? I could marry the princess myself,
Starting point is 01:40:37 Rasped Ebrog, coming to a sudden standstill before the pier. If she were already married to me, a monster could not marry her. He leered triumphantly. To you! Shrieked Percy Veer, crushing his muffin to a pope. You weazened wild old whisker dunce. Be off, be gone get out at—at—at—at—Persy began hopping about on one groaning, what's the word, what's the word?
Starting point is 01:41:09 Once, finished peer-haps, mopping his forehead and glaring at Abrog, for he was stunned at the old man's suggestion. "'It wouldn't do it all,' he muttered gloomily. "'Why, you're a thousand years old if you're a day, and she's the only daughter I've got.' "'Well, you won't have her long,' sneered Abrog, gathering his robe about him. His black eyes gleamed wickedly from beneath their bushy brows. He was furiously angry, but quickly hiding his feelings. He began to move slowly toward the door.
Starting point is 01:41:46 Halfway there, he paused. "'Since you refuse my first solution of the difficulty, I will endeavor to think of another one. I used to know a little magic,' he weezed craftily. "'I will retire to my tower to think.' Pierre Hapes nodded absently. He was too dazed to think himself, and could only mutter over and over. A monster!
Starting point is 01:42:13 A monster! My daughter! A monster! The fellow's a fool! Choked Percy, Veer. He's as full of ideas as a dishpan. Why, he's a monster himself. But there's something in what he says, groaned the old Pier on
Starting point is 01:42:33 happily. If my daughter were already married when this monster came, he could not carry her off. I have it. Percy will marry the princess at once to the likeliest lad in perhaps city. To me! cried the forgetful poet, tossing back his long locks and sticking out his chest complacently. Well, the old monarch looked a trifle embarrassed. You're hardly the man to marry and settled down. to a humdrum royal existence, I was thinking of young Pyrricks. "'You're right,' agreed Percy, mollified at once. "'M Marriage would interfere with my career, O peer. Shall I fetch our pretty little princess?'
Starting point is 01:43:19 "'Yes, call her at once,' begged Pir-haps, clasping and unclasping his hands. But don't frighten her, Percy, my boy. No talk of marriage or monsters.' Percy felt that the only thing he could do under the circumstances was to lapse intoverse. I go, I go, on heel and toe to fetch the sweetest girl I know, the princess of perhaps city, as sweet as sugar full of tea, Carol, the forgetful poet bounding through the door into the garden. Perhaps smile faintly, then remembering the monster frowned and began drumming nervously on the arm of his chair. He did not even look up when the yellow hen hopped into the room and, with a self-conscious cluck, laid a golden brick on the mantle.
Starting point is 01:44:11 What's the matter? asked the hens sulkily. Everything, groaned perhaps, straining his eyes for the first sign of Percy and the princess. Everything! At that instant Percy rushed back. The princess is lost. Gone, mislaid, cried the forgetful poet, crossing his eyes in his extreme agitation. You speak as if she were an egg, plucked the yellow hen. But no one paid any attention to her, and in a huff the spoiled creature flew out the window
Starting point is 01:44:48 and dropped a gold brick on the head of the chief gardener. But no one, except the chief gardener, paid any attention to this either, for perhaps had raised such a clamor over the disappearance of his daughter, that the whole castle was in an uproar. Indeed, in five minutes more, every woman, man and child in Perhapsody had joined in the search for the missing princess. After they had searched high and low and everywhere else, for that matter, Percy suddenly bethought himself of the prophet, and, rushing up the fifty steps to his tower, thumped hard
Starting point is 01:45:26 upon the door. There was no answer. Percy flung the door open, and there was no prophet. Abrog was gone, too. In the face of this new calamity, the dreadful prophecy about the monster was almost forgotten. Pierre Haps sank down upon his throne, and in spite of his sixty years and three hundred pounds, wept like a baby. He's perfectly perfidious, exclaimed Percy Veer, who was entirely out of breath from the steps.
Starting point is 01:46:02 All the courtiers solemnly shook their heads. A villain, old and hideous, and perfectly perfidious, has run off with our daughter, what shall be done to him? O peer, this prophesying profiteer deserves both death and—and—slaughter! sobbed, perhaps convosively. Then, mopping his face, he sat up. "'Some one must follow him at once and bring her back,' thundered the old monarch.
Starting point is 01:46:34 A thousand gold bricks to the man who brings her back. A thousand gold bricks and the princess's hand in marriage. At this there was a great shuffling of feet, and the young men of perhaps city began to exchange uneasy glances. "'Down the mountain?' asked Perix, faintly. "'Where else?' demanded Pierhaps, glaring angrily at the young nobleman whom he had intended for his daughter. "'But we might be dashed to pieces. It is terribly unsafe,' stuttered Peirix unhappily. All the other hapsies began to shake their heads and murmur sadly. Unsafe! Very unsafe.
Starting point is 01:47:19 "'Well, how about my daughter?' roared the poor monarch, puffing out his cheeks. "'Will no one go after my daughter?' There was more shuffling of feet, but not a voice was raised. We must not be too hard on these young hapsies, remembering that in all their lives and in the lives of their fathers and grandfathers no one had ever descended maybe mountain, excepting Abrog the old prophet. I'll go myself, spluttered, perhaps explosively. But as he arose with a great groan, the forgetful poet rushed forward and embraced as much of the pier as his arms would circle.
Starting point is 01:48:04 You'd be broken to bits, cried Percy distractedly. Suppose you stumbled. I, I will go and find the princess and this medley miserable prophet. You? Why, you'll forget what you're after before. you start, sneered Pyrricks disagreeably. As to that, said Percy, snapping his fingers under the young fellow's nose, I may forget a word now and then, but I don't forget how to act when my king is in trouble.
Starting point is 01:48:34 Hurrah! shouted the gardener, throwing up his hat. He had recovered from the shock of the gold-brick. Hurrah for Persevere, he's the bravest of the lot. But how will you go? quavered peer-haps. He was torn between relief at Percy's brave offer and sorrow at the thought of losing his prime and favorite companion. "'Here's how,' cried the valiant poet,
Starting point is 01:49:00 rushing down the golden steps of the palace, Percy leaped over the gate and plunged recklessly down the steep mountainside. Percy was well accustomed to hill-climbing and met with no mishap as he plunged downward. end of chapter eight chapter nine of grandpa in oz by ruth plumley thompson this libravox recording is in the public domain chapter nine dorothy meets a new celebrity dorothy had been to see the tin woodman and now with toto her small shacky dog running at her side was skipping merrily down one of the wide winky lanes i think nick chopper looks very well Well, don't you, Toto? said Dorothy, tickling his ear with a long feathery weed.
Starting point is 01:49:59 Woof, barked Toto reproachfully. Toto, like all the other dogs in Oz, could talk if he wanted to, but Toto, being originally from Kansas, preferred his own language. Just then, seeing a lively baconfly, Toto gave another bark and dashed across a daisy field. Away fluttered the baconfly. and you have no idea how fast these little rascals can flutter, and away his ears flapping with excitement, pounded Toto, and away after Toto ran Dorothy,
Starting point is 01:50:37 for she was always in fear of losing her reckless little pet. Up and down, here and there, round and round darted the mischievous baconfly, until Toto's tongue hung out, and he simply panted with exhaustion. Then, with a spiteful sputter, the baconfly disappeared under a rhinestone, and after scratching and whining and even growling a little, Toto gave up the chase and trotted rather sheepishly back to Dorothy. That was really too bad of you, Toto, panted the little girl reprovingly. You wouldn't eat a poor little bacon fly, would you? Wuff-w-wuff! Sulked Toto. which was Kansas for, you bet I would.
Starting point is 01:51:24 Pretending not to understand this last remark, Dorothy fanned herself with her broad straw hat and started slowly back toward the lane. But the baconfly had led them such a roundabout chase that when she did come to the lane, she turned in exactly the opposite direction from the way she had intended. And instead of walking toward the Emerald City, she began walking away from it.
Starting point is 01:51:52 But as neither she nor Toto was aware of this fact, they progressed most cheerfully, Dorothy carrying on a one-sided conversation with the saucy little boughowowow. Occasionally Toto would bark or wag his tail, but most of the time he listened in superior silence to the little girl's chatter of the fun they had had in Nick Choppers' tin castle. Now, how Nick Chopper came to have a castle,
Starting point is 01:52:18 is a story in itself. For Nick has, in the course of his strange and interesting life, risen from a woodchopper to emperor of all the Winkies, and from an ordinary blood-and-bone man to a real celebrity of tin. Yes, Nick is entirely a man of tin, as you can see by referring to any of the histories of Oz. In these same histories it is recorded how a wicked witch enchanted Nick's acts so that first it cut off his legs, then his arms, and finally his body and head.
Starting point is 01:52:54 But you cannot kill a good Osman like Nick Chopper, and after each accident he hide him to a tin smith for repairs. First the tin smith made him ten legs, then ten arms, next the ten body, and at last a ten head so that he was completely a man of ten. and this same little Dorothy, on her first trip to Oz, had discovered the tin woodman, rusting in a forest, had oiled up his joints and taken him to the Emerald City itself. There the Wizard of Oz had given him a warm, red plush heart,
Starting point is 01:53:31 which he still has, and since then Nick has been in almost every important adventure that has happened in the wonderful land of Oz. Asma, the little fairy ruler of Oz, Finding Nick so dependable and so unusual has made him Emperor of the East, and the loyal little Winkies have built him a splendid tin castle in the center of their pleasant yellow country. Dorothy herself was first blown to Oz in a Kansas cyclone, and after a great many visits to this delightful country, determined to stay for good. So Osma, with the help of her magic belt, transported Dorothy and Uncle Henry and Anteastern Ante
Starting point is 01:54:14 M. and Toto to the land of Oz. Uncle Henry and Aunt M have a comfortable little form just outside the Emerald City. But Dorothy and Toto have a cunning apartment in the Emerald Palace itself, for Osma cannot bear to have Dorothy far away. The two girls, for Osma herself is only a little girl fairy, have been through so many adventures together that they are almost inseparable. And to show her love affection for this little girl from the United States, Osma has made Dorothy a royal princess of Oz. But through all her honors and adventures, Dorothy has remained the same jolly little girl she was
Starting point is 01:54:59 in Kansas. Every now and then she puts aside her silk court frocks, slips into an old Gangham dress, and steals off for a visit to some of her friends in the country. We'll soon be at the scarecrow's, Toto. Shall you like that? She asked after skipping along for five whole minutes without speaking. Perhaps you'll have corn, muffins, and honey, and whatever is that? Little girl, little girl!
Starting point is 01:55:29 A voice came echoing high and clear down the sunlit lane. Toto picked up his ears and Dorothy, shading her eyes, turned in the direction of the voice. running toward her was a young man, closed all in buff. An extremely excited and agitated young man, and by the time he reached Dorothy in toto, he was perfectly breathless. Well, began Dorothy, hardly knowing what else to say. Not very well, thank you, puffed the young man, slapping at his face with a yellow silk handkerchief.
Starting point is 01:56:05 On closer inspection Dorothy saw that his handsome suit was torn and muddied, and the young man himself exceedingly scratched and weary. "'I am most unhappy,' he continued, regarding her mournfully. "'At least when I can remember to be. It is hard to be unhappy in a lovely country like this.' "'Then why do you try to remember to be?' asked Dorothy with a little laugh, while Toto made a playful dash at the stranger's heels. "'Oh, a great deal depends on my remembering,' explained the young man eagerly. "'If I forget to be unhappy, I may forget why I fell down the mountain,
Starting point is 01:56:49 and why I am wondering in this strange country without friends or food. "'Well, why are you?' Dorothy could control her curiosity no longer. "'I am seeking a princess,' replied the youth solemnly. "'A princess! Well, will I do?' Dorothy smiled mischievously, and while the stranger stared at her, round-eyed, she made him her prettiest court bow. The result was extremely funny. The forgetful poet, for of course you have guessed all along, that it was he, extended his arms toward Toto, and cried accusingly, I looked the maiden in the eye, I looked her up and down, she says she is a princess,
Starting point is 01:57:39 but she hasn't any, any... Toto barked indignantly at this limping poetry. I suppose you mean crown, giggled Dorothy. Yes, I have too, but it's at home in Nasmus Castle. The crown is in the castle, the castle's in the town, the town is in the land of Oz, How about her? Her... He stared helplessly at Dorothy's Gingham dress,
Starting point is 01:58:09 and with another little scream of laughter, Dorothy finished his verse. Gown! spluttered the little girl. Do you always talk like that? Pretty often, admitted Percy Veer, apologetically. You see, I am a poet, and I know who you are now. Your princess Dorothy herself! He smiled so charmingly as he said this that Dorothy could not help smiling back. "'I've read all about you in Pier Hap's history books,' confided Percy triumphantly.
Starting point is 01:58:45 "'Shall I address you as a princess?' As he asked this question, the troubled expression returned to his eyes. "'You haven't seen a princess anywhere around here, have you?' he added anxiously. Dorothy shook her head, and Toto began sniffing under all the bushes as if he expected to find a princess in any one of them. A little princess passing fair with rosy cheeks and yellow—yellow—hair put in Dorothy quickly. Who is she? Who were you, and how did she get lost? Let's sit down and then you can tell me all about it. He's exactly like a puzzle, thought. Dorothy with an amused little sniff.
Starting point is 01:59:30 So Percy Veer sat down beside her under a spreading jelly-tree, and as quickly as he could he told of the strange happenings in perhaps city, of the prophecy about the monster, of the strange conduct of old Abrog the prophet, and finally of the disappearance of both the princess and the prophet. himself had fallen down the steep, craggy sides of maybe mountain, arriving in a scratched and bruised heap at the bottom. All morning he had been wandering through the fields and lanes of the Winkyland, and Dorothy was the first person he had encountered.
Starting point is 02:00:11 "'Well, I think you were just splendid,' breathed the little girl as the forgetful poet finished his story. Percy had tried to gloss over the young men's refusal to go in search of the princess, but Dorothy had guessed quite correctly what had happened. I'll bet that old prophet carried her off himself, she declared positively. I think so, too, I think so three, I think so four, where can they—' Percy mopped his brow and looked appealingly at the little girl. B, supplied Dorothy, oblochingly.
Starting point is 02:00:49 I'm sure I don't know, but we can soon find out. You just come to the Emerald City with me, and we'll look in Osma's magic picture. Why, you are wise as you are pretty. Let's hasten to the Emerald City. Smiling all over because he had actually finished his own verse, the forgetful poet helped Dorothy to her feet, and both started gaily down the lane. Dorothy telling the poet all about the interesting folk in the capital, and Persevere telling Dorothy all about the city of gold on Maybe Mountain.
Starting point is 02:01:27 Dorothy's idea of looking in Osma's picture, like all of her other ideas, was a mighty good one. For this picture has a magical power, enabling a person to see whomever he wishes, so that one look would disclose the whereabouts of the lost princesses, of perhaps city. But at every step, they were putting a longer distance between themselves and that look. For at every step, thanks to that little baconfly, they were going farther and further away from the Emerald City of Oz. They had eaten the lunch the tin woodman had thoughtfully put up for Dorothy, and now, as
Starting point is 02:02:14 the afternoon shadows began to lengthen, the little girl looked at. looked anxiously ahead for familiar landmarks. But instead, the lane, which should have led straight to the Scarecrow's Tower, which is halfway between the Ten Woodman's Palace and the Emerald City, the lane suddenly came to a stop in a scraggly little woods. That's funny, mused Dorothy, looking around in surprise. Are we lost? asked Percy, leaning wearily against a tree. Hello, hello, why here's a sign.
Starting point is 02:02:48 tacked up upon this prickly, prickly... Without bothering to finish the verse, Dorothy hurried over to the pine. Look out for the runaway, advised the sign in large red letters. Runaway, cried Dorothy, snatching toto up in her arms. Good gracious, I wonder what kind of a runaway it is.
Starting point is 02:03:15 They were not long left in doubt, for while Percy was still staring nervously all round, there came a hiss and a snap, and round a big rock shot the runaway itself, scooping up the two travelers before they had time to even wink a single eyelash. This is perfectly preposterous, blustered the forgetful poet. Both he and Dorothy were sitting in the middle of the runaway, and Percy Vier hastily slipped his arm around the little girl to keep her from falling off. The runaway road itself was humping along like some dreadful sort of serpent, jouncing and bouncing them so terribly that talking was almost impossible.
Starting point is 02:04:03 "'Wonder where it's running!' gasped Dorothy, hugging Toto so tight he began to growl a little. From somewhere ahead a gritty voice answered her, "'I'm running straight to a pepper-mine.' Roared the runaway, "'And you'll make a handsome pair of pepper diggers.' "'Pepper diggers?' groaned Percy Vere. "'Pepper diggers? Not that, please. The very idea makes me—' "'Makes me—'a choo!' sneezed Percy miserably.
Starting point is 02:04:40 "'Peper dusting grow in mines, it's a plant!' shouted Dorothy indignantly. "'Well, this pepper-mine of mine was—' was planted, replied the road, twisting round to stare at Dorothy with its stony eyes. Neither Dorothy nor the forgetful poet answered this time, for the bumping and bouncing had grown so much worse that it was all they could do to hold on to each other and keep from biting their tongues off. Nothing like this had ever happened to the forgetful poet before. He was simply stunned. But Dorothy has been in so many strange adventures. and had had so many odd experiences in the land of Oz that she was already planning to outwit the
Starting point is 02:05:27 runaway. It wouldn't be safe to jump off, thought the little girl, for we'd probably be broken to bits, but garage traveled upward to the trees and bushes that were flashing past as the runaway flung itself recklessly through the forest. If we caught hold of a low branch, the old Road would go on without us, she reflected triumphantly. As well as she could, for bumps and bounces, she whispered her plan to persevere. He nodded enthusiastically and transferred Toto to his blouse, so that Dorothy would have both hands free. Then, when a huge tree loomed up ahead, they both began to count, and as its branches stretched over the runaway, they hurled themselves.
Starting point is 02:06:19 upward and held on for dear life. Beneath slithered the road, and not until the last yellow length of it had flashed by, did Dorothy and Percy veered let go. Percy dropped to the ground first, gently lifted Dorothy down, and took the frightened, wiggling little toto out of his blouse. "'Hugh!' breathed Dorothy, leaning dizzily against Percy. "'That's the worst ride I've had for a long time. "'Wonder where we are.'
Starting point is 02:06:50 "'Do we do this often?' panted the forgetful poet, "'looking at Dorothy with round eyes. "'I'm perfectly pulverized.' "'Well, I never met a runaway before,' confessed Dorothy. "'But you never can tell what's going to happen in Oz. "'So first thing we'd better do is to find out where we are.' "'We're in a forest dark and deep. "'I hope the bears are all—'
Starting point is 02:07:16 are all asleep. So do I, sighed Dorothy, and began tiptoeing along under the great, lonesome trees. Toto, keeping close to her side, and persevere, treading softly behind her. End of Chapter 9. Chapter 10 of Grandpa in Oz by Ruth Plumley Thompson. This Libre Vox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 10 Prince Forge John of Fire Island
Starting point is 02:07:55 Before Grandpa and his little company had recovered from the shock of winding down instead of up, the strange stairway gathered itself together, and with a sudden jerk shook them all off. Break ranks, roared the old soldier, kicking out wildly with his game leg. I don't want to break my ranks, said Bill. Will crossly. Tatters and Erther were too startled to say anything, and for a few seconds they simply fell in surprised silence. The hollow down which they were tumbling was wide and dimly lighted with a soft, spooky glow. The air was thick and heavy, and they were falling much slower than Grandpa and Tatters
Starting point is 02:08:42 had fallen down the hollow tree. First fell Ertha, her flowery skirts fluttering grayishers. around her, then fell tatters, clinging to bill with one arm and his red umbrella with the other. Then the old soldier, his gun, drum, sword, and knapsack rattling like a box full of marbles. I feel exactly like a butterfly. Are we flying, dear Mr. Soldier? laughed the flower maiden presently. No, my poor child, puffed Grandpa, staring down at her anxiously. We're falling!
Starting point is 02:09:19 "'Falling asleep?' asked Ertha contentedly. "'It depends on how we land,' groaned the old soldier, and suddenly remembering his last landing, he snatched the wizard's medicine bottle from his pocket. "'Is there anything on the label about falling?' panted tatters, who was close enough to notice the old soldier's action. Grandpa held the bottle close to his eyes, and though reading while falling is one of the hardest things
Starting point is 02:09:49 know of to do after a deal of squinting the old soldier read out the following for falling hairs one drop in full glass of water but we're not hairs weas'd bill indignantly and if our hair stopped falling and we fell on we'd be scalped puffed grandpa hoarsely besides there isn't any water so there's nothing to do but fall "'Stormy weather, stormy weather,' predicted Bill gloomily. "'Look out below, look out, look out, look out, look out!' As the weathercock came to his last look-out, the air grew suddenly lighter. The speed of the four fallers increased, and next thing, with a great splash and splutter, they had plunged into a deep underground lake. blowing like a purpose grandpa rose to the surface.
Starting point is 02:10:52 One drop in water, choked the old soldier, and, treading water furiously, he began to look around for his little army. In the dim green light he could see Ertha floating like a tiny island of flowers on the top of the water, her fine spray of hair spread out round her lovely little face. A short distance away, Tatters was making flowers. frantic efforts to keep afloat, but with the iron weathercock and the enormous umbrella, it was difficult business, and every few minutes the poor Prince of Ragbad would disappear under the waves. Grandpa himself, handicapped as he was by a game leg and so many weapons,
Starting point is 02:11:36 found swimming a dreadful exertion, and by the time he reached tatters he was completely exhausted. He still grasped the wizard's bottle in one hand. "'Wet! Very wet!' the head of Bill appeared above the water, and then went under, as Tatters took another dive toward the bottom. "'Graw-grandpa! I'm drowning!' gulped the poor prince, reappearing for a second on the surface. It never occurred to the prince to drop Bill or his father's umbrella. Grandpa himself had shipped so much water he had no breath to speak, but he flung his hand out desperately toward the prince, and as luck would have it, it was the hand-holding the wizard's
Starting point is 02:12:25 medicine. "'Don't drown!' begged Grandpa. His eyes fixed desperately on the green label. "'Wait, there's a cure for it!' Treading water again. He clutched tatters by the hair, and pressed the bottle to his. lips. One swallow and you'll swim like a fish, promised Grandpa. My head's swimming already, muttered Tatters weakly.
Starting point is 02:12:53 It was all the prince could do to get the stuff down, for he had swallowed quarts of the lake already. Grandpa was so interested in watching the effects of the doze that he forgot to move his feet and went down himself. But just as the water closed over his head, he put the wizard's bottle to his own lips, took a hasty mouthful, and jammed in the cork. Immediately he bobbed to the surface, and with a great sigh of relief saw tatters floating on top of the waves. Bill perched precariously upon his chest. Grandpa felt as buoyant
Starting point is 02:13:32 as a cork, and, using his gun as an oar, steered toward tatters and Ertha, and soon all three were bombing along side by side. "'This medicine's the only good thing that Wizard ever invented,' said Grandpa, sticking the bottle through his belt, feeling better, old boy?' Tatters shook his head feebly. He could not help thinking how far out of their way
Starting point is 02:13:57 they had fallen, and how very far they were from the Emerald City and even from Ragbad itself. He blinked hastily at the thought of Mrs. So-and-so, and the cozy red castle on the hill, and he hoped Pudge had remembered to feed his pigeons. Tatters himself never expected to see them again. Only Ertha seemed really to be enjoying the adventure. Her little flower face was wreathed in smiles,
Starting point is 02:14:25 and her lovely flower frock fairly sparkled with freshness. "'Isn't this fun?' she kept repeating merrily. "'Isn't this fun?' "'Grandpa nodded, but not very enthusiastically. "'Do you think we'll ever get back on top again?' asked Tatters gloomily. "'Of course,' spluttered Grandpa. "'We've fallen down about as far as we can fall, and from now on, "'things will take an upward turn, you see?'
Starting point is 02:14:56 "'Hello, this water is kind of hot. "'Great swordfish. What's that noise?' "'The fortune! The fortune!' Shrieked Bill, jumping up and down upon Tatter's thin chest, and ducking the prince at every jump. The fortune! With a great effort, Grandpa sat up in the water, which was already beginning to steam, and then fell backward with a terrific splash. Halt! commanded Grandpa, trying to push against the current with his sword.
Starting point is 02:15:29 Stop! halt! A great roaring was in their ears, and the green light. had changed to a red-hot glow. Now, Tatters sat up. Then he, too, began to kick wildly about in an effort to stop himself. And no wonder, they were being carried straight toward a roaring red island of fire. The fortune! the fortune! shrieked Bill, more excited than ever.
Starting point is 02:16:02 Fortune! groaned Grandpa, reaching out to catch Eartha, who was floating rapidly past. Miss Fortune! Halt! Stop! Everybody back! Better stop backing, and look on that bottle! Gopped the Prince of Ragbad. Better see if there's any cure for... for this! He waved desperately ahead.
Starting point is 02:16:25 And Grandpa, with a little choke of fright, pulled out the wizard's medicine. Burns, skulls, and heatstrokes, faltered Grandpa. Well, we'd better take the cure for all three. A teaspoonful was prescribed in each case, and with trembling hands the old soldier measured out the dozes. Bill could not swallow, so the old soldier dashed the medicine over his head. I think you're a fairy, puffed Grandpa, throwing a dose in the face of the surprised little flower girl.
Starting point is 02:16:57 But if anything should happen, I'd never forgive myself. Tatters came next, and by this time the water was so hot that Grandpa himself began to groan with discomfort. So he hastily swallowed his three spoonfuls, corked the bottle, and prepared for the worst. But immediately everything grew better. The waves of heat from the island seemed only pleasant breezes now, and the steaming water did not even feel hot. Before they had time to wonder at all this, they were washed up on the burning sands of Fire Island itself. Is it the fortune? asked Bill, hopping out of Tatter's arms. You said land or gold, and this is a golden land.
Starting point is 02:17:45 Grandpa was too dazed to answer. Finding himself completely fireproof was strange enough, but actually walking on an island of fire seemed unbelievable. I wonder what Pudge would say to this, mused Grandpa, as Tatters rushed over to his side. Ertha was already dancing about on the glowing sands as happily as she had danced in the wizard's garden. Here come the fireman, cried Prince Tatters, and rather anxiously the old soldier turned to meet the islanders.
Starting point is 02:18:21 The people of Fire Island were as interesting and unusual as their island, being entirely of red and blue flames, and so light on their feet they fairly flashed about over the glowing rocks. "'Shall I fall on their heads?' inquired Bill. "'Is it a fight?' "'No,' answered Grandpa, squinting a bit from the glare. "'I believe they're friendly.' And the old soldier was right.
Starting point is 02:18:48 For as the fire islanders came nearer they waved their arms gaily and seemed delighted with the unusual appearance of their visitors. A little ahead of the others strode a tall man who was made entirely of glowing red-hot iron, except for this fact he might have been any village blacksmith, and his face was so round and jolly that tatters immediately took heart. Prince Forge John I called two small flame pages, as the fire monarch reached the party on the beach. Prince Forge John bowed,
Starting point is 02:19:25 Grandpa saluted, Bill crowed and Ertha, breaking off a flower spray from her skirts, held it out prettily to the ruler of Fire Island. "'What a charming little fairy!' cried Prince Forge John in his hot, crackly voice. "'And you!' he turned, pleased eyes upon Grandpa and Tatters. "'How brave you look! And it! With a wave at the weathercock! how beautiful it is all of splendid iron." Thanks, crowed Bill.
Starting point is 02:19:58 I'm useful, too. If you will tell me where to find the head, the princess and the fortune, I'll tell you which way the wind blows. Head, fortune, princess? Finished Bill as if he were repeating a lesson. Prince Forge John looked so confused at this speech that Grandpa stepped forward and hastily explained all that had happened since King Fumbo had lost his head, ending up with the wizard's garden, the discovery of
Starting point is 02:20:27 Eartha and their fortunate use of Gorb's medicine. Hmm, mused Prince Forge John, rubbing his orange hen. So, you're seeking the head of this lad's father, and the lad himself seeks a fortune and a princess? Well, I have not seen the king's head, but the prince may see. stay here with us, marry one of our firemaidens, and make a fortune in fireworks. There's many a fortune being snatched from the fire. How would you like that, my boy? Yes, do stay and marry me, cried one of the little flame maidens, running impulsively up to the prince.
Starting point is 02:21:12 You are so odd, and you look so interesting. Tatters looked terribly embarrassed, for he was fearful that the maiden would scorch his nose. I must find my father's head first, stuttered the prince, backing away uneasily. And if your majesty could tell us of a way back to Oz, Tatters bowed again and looked appealingly a grandpa. Well, you might go up in smoke, suggested Prince Forge John slowly. I think myself that this wizard's medicine will wear
Starting point is 02:21:51 off presently, and then you'll all burn up." Oh, groaned the old soldiers, snatching out his handkerchief. Why do you think such terrible thoughts? Would it hurt? breathed Ertha, who hated to see anyone unhappy. Is there no fire escape? Choked tatters with bulging eyes. Prince Forge John shook his head.
Starting point is 02:22:17 I'd like to help you, he murmured gravely, but you are so strangely made I don't see how I can. Better just stay on here. Burning's not so bad, and I think you'd burn a long time. Several of the fire islanders nodded as the prince said this, but Grandpa and Tatters could find no consolation in such a prospect. Oh, and marching north seemed so easy, wailed poor Tatters, leaning heavily on his red umbrella. "'Ah, never mind,' sighed the old soldier.
Starting point is 02:22:53 "'I'll think of something else. "'Let's jump back in the water,' he proposed brightly. "'But if the medicine wears off, "'barling would be just as bad as burning,' "'objected tatters with a little shudder. "'That's so,' admitted Grandpa. "'It seems, my boy, that every cup of soup "'has at least one fly.'
Starting point is 02:23:15 "'There's a fly on your nose,' screeched Bill, hopping up and down. And so there was. A saucy little firefly. There were fireflies everywhere, darting here and there among the fireflowers and over the fields of waving fireweeds. Better stay, repeated Prince Forge John hospitably.
Starting point is 02:23:38 Anyway, let us show you a bit of the island. Grandpa nodded, for he did not know what else to do, and so he and the others followed sad. after the prince and his cortege. There were no houses on Fire Island, but each flame family had its own open fireplace, between stretched meadows of clear blue flame and many beautiful gardens,
Starting point is 02:24:02 where, from flowering beds of red-hot coals, lovely fire-flowers arose. The stems were of green flame, the tops of yellow, blue and red. The prince picked a bouquet of these strange posies for Earth-Earth, and, to Grandpa's surprise, the fireflowers neither burned the little flower girl nor went out in her hands. If it had not been for the dreadful thought of burning up that hung over them, the old soldier and tatters might have enjoyed their trip across the island.
Starting point is 02:24:36 But as it was, they got little pleasure from it. Even Prince George John's fireworks, where all the hearth fires and kitchen fires are manufactured and the Fourth of July Roman candles and sparklers are made, aroused in them no enthusiasm. When they reached the other side of the island, the prince offered each member of the party a box of firecrackers for refreshments, and this made Grandpa smile in spite of his worry. "'No use setting ourselves off before our time,' chuckled the old soldier, handing them back with a bow. The prince looked a little hurt, but he and the rest of his company ate up their firecrackers with relish, and after Prince Forge John had finished his sixteenth bucks, he had a sudden idea.
Starting point is 02:25:30 "'I've thought of a way to save you,' cried Prince Forge John, fairly crackling with pleasure. "'You can just go to blazes.' "'What?' shouted Grandpa, who being in the army thought he, He was insulted." "'Yes,' repeated Forge John calmly. You must go to blazes. See that dark house across the waters there? Well, you'll find him on the other side of that."
Starting point is 02:26:00 Grandpa shaded his eyes and, looking across the green sulphurous waters surrounding Fire Island, made out a great tower of darkness. It was quite easy to see, for every other place was lighted with the ruddy from the island. Fetch the boat, ordered the prince briskly, and while grandpa and tatters were still gazing in stupefaction at the tower, several of the firemen began shoving an iron boat down the beach. Unceremoniously, Forge John took them by the arms and helped them in. To tell the truth, he was growing sleepy and anxious to be rid of these singular visitors.
Starting point is 02:26:40 "'The flower fairy may stay,' he yawned graciously, but Ertha had no such intentions. Gently disengaging herself from a group of the firemaidens, she ran after the boat and sprang lightly in beside Tatters. "'What do you mean? Where are we going? Hold on there,' blustered the old soldier. But Prince Forge John merely waved his firm arms, and the two firemen began to row away as fast as they could. Goodbye, called the prince, with another yawn. I'm sorry you couldn't stay and burn with us. We're going to blazes, to blazes, to blazes, broed bill,
Starting point is 02:27:26 who had flown up into the bow of the boat. That's right, crackled the flame man nearest to tatters. He'll soon send you up. But who is blazes, asked the prince of Ragbad. stretching out both hands imploringly. The Keeper of the volcano, answered the second rower, looking at tatters intently.
Starting point is 02:27:51 Lightning, thunder, hot winds and earthquakes, crowed the weathercock wildly. Grandpa flopped hopelessly into the bottom of the boat. End of Chapter X. Chapter 11 of Grandpa in Oz by Ruth Plumley Thompson. This Libre Vox recording is in the book. the public domain. Chapter 11.
Starting point is 02:28:19 Into the Volcano. By the time Grandpa had recovered enough to sit up, the boat was scraping over the black rocks at the foot of the dark tower. "'Senders soot!' called the rowers loudly. In answer to their hail, a door opened cautiously, and the keepers of the dark tower peered out. "'What's wanted?' asked the first, hoarsely. while the second swung his dark lantern toward the party in the boat.
Starting point is 02:28:51 "'Take these men to blazes and tell him to send them up,' directed the flamed men together, and almost pushing Grandpa and his little company from the boat. They jumped in and started to row back to their island. The dark tower was wet and clammy and made of moss that soaked up the rays of light from Fire Island as a sponge soaks up water. The keepers of the tower themselves looked burnt out in cindery and far from agreeable. You go, said Sutt, after a contemptuous glance at the newcomers. I've got to keep the light out.
Starting point is 02:29:29 All right, agreed Cenders. Come on, you, whatever you are. There was no way to get back to Fire Island, so Grandpa motioned for the others to come in, and in silence they followed Cinders over the black slip. Rucks. Bill perched on Grandpa's shoulder and tatters held fast to Eartha, who for the first time seemed a little frightened. Being alive is so strange, sighed the little flower girl, stepping along tremulously. It's not always like this, whispered the prince comfortingly. He was terribly frightened himself, but resolved to be as brave as he could before this lovely
Starting point is 02:30:11 little lady of flowers. The dark tower seemed to be. be on the mainland of this queer underground country, and after a short march over the rocks, they came to a steep gray mountain. There was a door in the center, and Cenders hammered on this with a poker he carried under one arm. The door opened immediately, and a hot red glare smote the travelers in the face. John says to send these creatures up, grumbled Cenders, backing out of the light. "'I hope that medicine's still working,' groaned Grandpa. "'Do you still feel cool?'
Starting point is 02:30:50 "'Pretty cool,' faltered the Prince of Ragbad, but—' "'Come in!' roared the huge fireman, who had opened the door. "'Do you want to give me a chill?' "'Snatching tatters by one hand and Ertha by the other. He jerked them through the door, and Grandpa, seeing that Cinders was about to slam it shut, sprang in quickly after them. Blazes was about twice as tall as the men on Fire Island, and his flaming face was cruel and ugly.
Starting point is 02:31:27 "'So you're to be sent up,' he sneered, staring curiously at the bewildered little company. "'Well, you're not worth an eruption, but orders are orders, so up you go. Grandpa could find no words to answer, for his eyes were glued in horror upon the boiling lake of lava churning about a few feet below. Thick green smoke curled up toward them in clouds,
Starting point is 02:32:00 and just as he was about to order a hasty retreat to the door, the keeper of the volcano seized a forty-foot poker and plunged it into the lake. Next instant it had risen to the top, caught the four fireproof travelers in its sulfurous waves, and hurled itself frothing and bubbling to the top of the earth. Being erupted from a volcano is such a noisy, smothering, altogether terrifying experience that Grandpa and his little army
Starting point is 02:32:32 could not have told what was happening had they tried, And had it not been for Garba's medicine, they would have blown clear out of the story. But thanks to the medicine, the boiling lava did not injure them, and having hurled them from the middle of the earth and some fifty feet higher than the earth, the liquid immediately surrounding them began to harden and form a flying island. Of course, Grandpa and Tatters were too dizzy to know this, and the first indication they had that the eruption was over was a dreadful bounce and a perfect shower of water.
Starting point is 02:33:12 The water brought them to their senses, and, fearfully opening their eyes, they looked around. Horrors! The volcano was in the kingdom of Ev, on the other side of the deadly desert, and had flung them clear into the non-nestic ocean itself. This great body of water lies far, to the northwest, and mighty few Ozites have ever reached its shores." "'Well,' coughed Grandpa, rubbing his game leg vigorously,
Starting point is 02:33:44 "'I thought we were goners, but I see we are survivors. Are you all right? Are you all here?' Eartha shook her lovely fern hair out of her eyes, and, strange as it may seem, the little flower girl had come through the eruption without crushing a single posy. Fair and cooler, weased Bill, hopping up on a little ridge of the hardened lava. But how did we get here, asked Tatters, rubbing his eyes. You'll have to ask blazes, puffed Grandpa, but I must say I prefer water to fire. Already, the spirits of the old soldier were beginning to rise. We may be far from home, but we're on top again and still moving.
Starting point is 02:34:34 Grandpa took a few marching steps and waved his sword. "'And what are those?' asked Ertha, standing on tiptoe to point at the stars. In the wizard's garden there had been no sky. Towers explained as best he could, and the little flower girl clasped her hands and gazed up in delight. "'They're sky-flowers,' she confided to Bill, but the weathercock was too busy looking for the fortune to answer. "'Seems to me, we're shipwrecked,' observed Tatters gloomily. Their little island was bobbing up and down on top of the waves,
Starting point is 02:35:15 and there was no land of any kind in sight. But Grandpa, who had been investigating the contents of his knapsack, gave a little chuckle. The bread and butter they had picked in the wizard's garden, not being entirely fireproof, was nicely toasted and looked so crisp and inviting that it made Grandpa's mouth water. "'What are you fussing about?' said the old soldier, winking at the prince. "'Tisn't everybody can have their supper cooked in a volcano.'
Starting point is 02:35:49 He handed tatters a great pile of the toast, and after the Prince of Ragbad had eaten a dozen slices he began to feel more cheerful himself. "'All we need is a little sleep,' yawned the old soldier, after they had finished off the toast, for neither Bill nor Ertha needed food. "'If Bill will keep watch, you and I had better turn in, for there's no knowing what may happen tomorrow.' "'I'll keep watch,' promised Bill readily. "'Hush!' warned Grandpa suddenly, for Ertha, wearied by her strange adventures, had fallen fast asleep in the middle of counting the stars and lay in a fragrant heap.
Starting point is 02:36:35 Her lovely violet eyes closed tight, and all the big and little posies that made up the wonderful little flower girl herself were asleep too. If she hadn't been a fairy, whispered Grandpa, looking down at her affectionately, she would have wilted long ago. We must take good care of her, my boy, for I doubt if there's as love a little lady anywhere else in Oz. "'She's the only luck we've had,' mused Tatters. "'And I wish—'
Starting point is 02:37:09 The prince looked up at the stars and did not finish his sentence, but, rolling up the skin of the old threadbare, he made a pillow for Earth's head, and he and Grandpa went tiptoeing to the other side of the island and stretched themselves on the ground. The motion of the little island as it rode lightly over the waves was very soothing, and before long the old soldier and the young prince were sound asleep to, leaving only the weathercock on guard.
Starting point is 02:37:41 And Bill, in all the years he had spent on the barn near Chicago, had never felt so important. Perched on the highest ridge of the island, he kept a sharp lookout in all directions, scanning the tumbling waters of the nonnestic ocean for signs of a fortune and a princess and talking softly to himself in the starlight. Grandpa was having a fine dream. He was being presented at court and was just about to shake hands with Princess Osma herself when he was wakened by a ton of kitchen tins falling down a mountainside.
Starting point is 02:38:19 Or that's what it sounded like to Grandpa. Leaping to his feet, the old soldier snatched up his gun. Tatters and Ertha were both sitting, bolt upright, rubbing their eyes. "'It's Bill!' yawned the prince sleepily. With an exclamation of disgust, the old soldier threw down his gun and covered his ears. The weathercock was indulging in his mourning crow and helping the sun to rise. Just as Grandpa thought he could not stand it another minute, the frightful clamor ceased. The sun has risen, announced Bill calmly, and there's land ahead.
Starting point is 02:39:04 It was a bit foggy, but crowding to the edge of the island, the little company saw that they were being carried straight toward a land of ice and snow. Tatters and Ertha had never seen snow before, for there is no snow in a little snow. But Grandpa had read all about such things in Fumbo's books, and, while he was explaining, the little island bumped on the snowy shore of this strange ice-bound land. All off, cried Grandpa, seizing Arthur by the hand. Tatters ran back for his umbrella and the skin of the old threadbare, then jumped after Grandpa and the Flower Maiden. "'Colder and colder,' predicted Bill, flying after the prince, and settling on the branches of an ice-covered tree.
Starting point is 02:39:56 But Tatters was not thinking of the weather. With round eyes he was studying a huge sign that stretched between two tall hemlocks. The illustrious island of Isaposo! Announced the sign, and in smaller letters, Beware of the dragon. Great golly walkers, gasped the old soldier, reading over Tatters' shoulder. Can't they give a fellow arrest? What's a dragon? asked Ertha, touching Tatters on the arm.
Starting point is 02:40:34 End of Chapter 11. Chapter 12 of Grandpa in Oz by Ruth Plumley Thompson. This Libre Vox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 12. The Island of Issa Poso. While Tatters was still studying the sign and explaining a dragon to Eartha, the old soldier stepped over to another tree, where an even larger sign was displayed. This is what it said. Reward! One half the kingdom and the hand of the Princess Poso to the slayer of the dragon Enorma. Chinchili the third. king of Issa Poso.
Starting point is 02:41:25 Ha! cried Grandpa with a little skip. This is more like it. Like what? asked Tatters, blowing on his stiff fingers. Like olden times. In my youth, said Grandpa solemnly, young lads served in the armies of strange kings, slew monsters, and were rewarded with half the kingdom and the princess's hand. Let us immediately slay this dragon, my boy, and win the reward,
Starting point is 02:41:52 Then all that will be left for us to do will be to find your father's head. And I'll find the dragon, volunteered the weathercock, rising into the frosty air. What shall I do? asked Ertha, running up to the old soldier. Just be your lovely little self, smiled Grandpa, and stay where we can see you. Why, just to look at you makes me feel like a conquering army with banners flying. Eartho was so happy at Grandpa's neat little speech that she blew him a kiss and began dancing in circles over the shimmery snow. And wherever Earth's foot rested, the snow melted and flowers sprang up until there were circles of posies pricked out against the snow. Grandpa and Tatters were so interested that they almost forgot the icy wind that was blowing over this white frozen land.
Starting point is 02:42:47 But soon the prince, who, in spite of the skin of the threadbare, was thinly clad, began to shiver, and the old soldier to shake in good earnest. First he stood on one foot, then on the other, and longest on the other, because that was his game leg and not subject to frostbites. A game leg's a mighty fortunate thing, wheezed Grandpa huskily. But I wish we were like Ertha. Then we wouldn't feel this pesky wind. Let's march on, for if we stay here we'll freeze stiff.
Starting point is 02:43:22 Marching on an empty stomach through a strange freezing land was not the pleasantest thing in the world, but both Grandpa and Tatters stepped out bravely, the young prince smiling over his shoulder every few minutes at the little flower maiden. "'It's a lucky thing we're not being followed,' whispered Grandpa. And it certainly was, for after them, in a A tell-tale row, pansies, tulips, daffodils, and forget-me-nots marked out the steps of the light-footed little flower faring.
Starting point is 02:43:55 "'I hope we tracked down this dragon soon,' groaned tatters, pausing to stamp his foot and rubbed the end of his nose. Icicles were forming on Grandpa's whiskers, and the sun, flashing on the snow, almost blinded the gallant old soldier. He was almost ready to quit. "'No wonder the king calls himself Chin Chilly,' chattered Grandpa dismally. "'My chin's chilly, too. I'm chilly all over.' "'Eartha, my dear, do you see anything that looks like a dragon?'
Starting point is 02:44:33 "'I see a bright light,' called Eartha, who was dancing ahead of the shivering adventurers. "'I feel a warm wind,' cried the Prince of Ragbad excitedly. "'The dragon! The dragon! The dragon! "'Dragon!' screamed the weathercock, appearing suddenly over the top of a bleak icy hill. Before Bill's warning had died away, The dragon itself hove into view and, with a great roar, came to boggaining down upon the frightened little company like a scenic railway train. Earth had jumped behind Tatters.
Starting point is 02:45:11 Tatters drew his umbrella and Grandpa looked down the sights of his gun into the flaming throat of Enorma herself. For a moment nothing happened. For the dragon, now that she was down the hill, seemed to wait for them to make the first move. Don't shoot, begged the Prince of Ragbad imploringly. Don't shoot yet, Grandpa. It's the first time I've been warm today.
Starting point is 02:45:37 Grandpa's whiskers had already thawed out, and the heat from the fire-breathing monster was so comforting that they almost forgot their fear. The dragon on her part seemed more curious than angry. Well, I'll be snowballed, she snorted, wagging her head from side to side. How did you get here? It's a long, strange story, sighed Grandpa, lowering his gun and holding his hands toward the waves of heat that blew from the dragon's nostrils.
Starting point is 02:46:09 We fell, swam, sailed, and exploded, crowed Bill, flapping his wings over the dragon's head. "'Well, before you melt, would you mind telling me why you came at all?' asked Enorma with a terrific yawn. "'Melt!' exclaimed Grandpa, his eyes snapping. "'Why, I'm just beginning to thaw out.' "'Well, you'll soon be entirely out of the way,' said the dragon comfortably. the folk hereabout melt at my mere approach.
Starting point is 02:46:48 Enorma yawned again, and began to pant a little from her slide down the hill. Hum, crumped the old soldier. At the first yawn, he had made a startling discovery, at the second he was sure he had made it. Taking out his snuff-box, the old soldier tiptoed close to the monster, and flung the entire contents in her face. Then, run for your lives! shouted Grandpa, starting off at his best pace. And it was well that they quickly obeyed this command,
Starting point is 02:47:28 for the sneezes of that dragon shook the entire island and sent the snow and blinding flurries all around them. What? What's happened? asked the Prince of Ragbad, peering out wildly from behind an ice cliff. "'Year fortunes made, that's all,' announced Grandpa proudly. "'More ways than one of winning a battle.' Stepping out and motioning for the others to follow, the old soldier approached the still quivering monster.
Starting point is 02:48:01 Tears streamed from her eyes, and she was still sneezing broken-heartedly. "'Enorma is as false as her teeth,' puffed Grandpa. And with astonishment Tatters and Ertha saw that the dragon was perfectly toothless, having lost her one and only set at the first pinch of Grandpa's snuff. "'Well, you finish her off, or shall I?' asked the old soldier, rattling his sword in business like fashion. "'Before Tatters could answer, Enorma gave him. a frightened moan and began scuttling across the snowfields like an express train bound for
Starting point is 02:48:44 Atlantic City. Halt! Stop or I'll fall on your head! Come back here at once and be slaughtered, screamed Bill, flying after her while the others followed as fast as they could on foot. But in the end, Enorma finished herself. For, turning to see how close Grandpa and Tatters were coming, she plunged headfirst into an icy stream and put herself out, completely and entirely out, for a dragon can no more stand a dash of water than a furnace or a witch.
Starting point is 02:49:20 When Grandpa and Tatters reached the edge of the stream, Enorma was floating like a great green log on the surface, only a tiny puff of smoke to show that she had ever been a roaring, fire-eating sure enough monster. Gentle little Ertha wept a bit, but Tatters soon comforted her. Then he and the old soldier moored Enorma fast to a tree so that they would have proof of their valor when they met the king of the island. They were all warm from the encounter with the dragon, but it soon wore off, and it wasn't long before they began to shiver again.
Starting point is 02:50:00 Wish we'd brought one of those houseplants along, sighed Tatters, "'Wish I could get my teeth in one of Mrs. So-and-so's ragamuffins,' murmured Grandpa, trudging gloomily over the snow. "'Bills found something, called Ertha, who was dancing a few steps ahead. Just then down came the weathercock to announce that he had discovered the Dragon's Cave. It was tunneled out of a huge snowy hill, and at one end burned a roaring fire. Dragons, as you know, drink flame as other creatures drink water, and Enorma always kept a huge pile of trees burning in her cavern. Bill, you're a real explorer, cried Grandpa, and taking off one of his medals, he hung it round the Weathercock's neck.
Starting point is 02:50:52 Stacked against the walls of the cave, where great piles of frozen meat, for Enorma, in spite of her false teeth, had been a mighty huntress. In a trice, Grandpa had a bare steak sputtering on the fire on pointed sticks, and nothing could have been cozier than their breakfast. I told you our troubles were over, beamed the old soldier, handing Tatters a portion of the steak on a tin army plate. All we have to do now is to claim the reward, find the king's head, and journey back to Ragbad. Grandpa grinned with satisfaction.
Starting point is 02:51:30 But how can we do that? asked Tatters dubiously. There's the ocean and the sandy desert between. Don't worry, advised Grandpa, settling comfortably before the fire. This old Chinchilly will be so delighted to have the dragon out of the way that he'll probably send us home in a golden ship with our pockets full of diamonds. How will you like that, loveliness? Ertha was playing hide-and-seek with Bill.
Starting point is 02:51:59 But at Grandpa's words she came over to the fire. "'I'll like it if Tatters does,' said the little flower fairy, smiling shyly at the Prince of Ragbad. "'Well, I'll like it,' admitted Tatters, especially with you along, "'for we can dance on the deck and play scrum. Why, I've never had time to teach you yet. "'Grandpa, won't you lend us your leg?' "'Now, no,' objected the old soldier. "'Duty before pleasure, my children. Remember that we have not found this chinchillie, nor claimed the reward. As we're warmed up and fed, we'd better start
Starting point is 02:52:38 hunting again. "'Here I go, by the name of Bill,' crowed the weathercock flinging out of the cavern. Grandpa stowed some of the dried bear meat in his knapsack, and then, farming his little company in line, gave the order to march away. First we'll have another look at the Dragon," said the old soldier, and then we'll try to find the palace of Isoposo. So down the snowy hill they marched and slid and they had just come to the bank of the stream, when harsh voices from the other side of a clump of trees made them stop short. Flowers! screamed the first voice.
Starting point is 02:53:20 Pull them up, tread them down. Who dares to plant flowers on Isoposo? Footprints, too, chilly, dear," grunted a deeper voice. "'Here is an animal with unmatched feet.' Dropping on his knees, the old soldier peered around the frozen tree trunk, and saw two of the islanders bending over the tracks they had made when they chased Enorma. They were towering men of snow, with faces of roughly cut ice, and so cruel and forbidding an appearance that just to think of them made me shudder.
Starting point is 02:54:00 Fortunately, Grandpa was not so easily frightened as I am. Animals, indeed, spluttered the old soldier. Company, forward march. And Grandpa rushed through the tree so fast that Tatters and Ertha had to run to keep up. So suddenly did they burst out upon the little group of islanders that several of the snowmen fell over backwards. "'Where is the king?' shouted Grandpa, giving his drum such a whack,
Starting point is 02:54:33 that three more of the company collapsed. But they quickly recovered themselves, and instead of answering, the tallest snowman flung out his arms toward Ertha. "'Stand still!' he commanded angrily. "'You're ruining my island. Look at the foolish creature, cluttering up the place with flowers.
Starting point is 02:54:57 Bertha shrank back toward tatters, and the young prince, speechless with indignation, grasped his umbrella and prepared to attack. But Grandpa restrained him, and with another resounding whack of his drum, strode up to the speaker. "'Is this your island?' asked the old soldier, stamping his game foot.
Starting point is 02:55:20 "'Yes, and what are you doing on it?' demanded chin chilly, stamping his snowfoot. Just to look at you makes me want to melt. Go ahead and melt, advised to Grandpa coldly. By this time he was very cold. But before you do and before you give us any more of your chin music, hand over the reward. I lay claim to half the kingdom and the princess
Starting point is 02:55:47 in the name of Prince Tatters of Ragbad. Has he slain the dragon? asked the king with a gasp of surprise. His manner changed at once, and, looking as pleasant as a fellow with icicle-whiskers well can, he turned to tatters. The Prince of Ragbad nodded shortly, for he had not forgotten the king's rudeness to Ertha,
Starting point is 02:56:12 and Grandpa waved his sword toward the body of Enorma, still floating half in and half out of the water. Running down to the edge of the stream, the snowmen began to hug one another and dance up and down with excitement. "'This way! This way!' chuckled Chinchilly, rubbing his hands together gleefully. Grandpa, his head held high and his chest thrust out proudly, followed, for Grandpa felt that this was a great day in the history of Ragbed, but Tatters was beginning to have misgivings about the Princess of I suppose so.
Starting point is 02:56:51 End of Chapter 12. Chapter 13 of Grandpaw-In-Oz by Ruth Plumley Thompson. This Libre Vox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 13. Tatters receives the reward. Prince Tatters had little time to think of either the ship or the fortune, for after a short march over the snow, Chinchill East stepped across a small neck of land and the little army found themselves on a great block of ice, only connected with the island itself by the narrow strip on which they had crossed. A messenger had already been dispatched for the princess,
Starting point is 02:57:37 and, standing first on one foot then on the other, Tatters impatiently awaited her approach. Bertha, remembering Chin Chilli's distaste for flowers, kept perfectly still, holding fast to Tatters' coattails and peering anxiously in the direction. the messenger had taken. Just like the old days, boasted Grandpa, stamping up and down to keep warm. But when a moment later the Princess of Isoposo actually appeared, the old soldier nearly fell from under his hat.
Starting point is 02:58:13 Yes, really? For the princess was a maiden of ice, and, wrapped in her robes of snow, she stared at the Prince of Ragbad so frigidly and with such cold and dreadful disdain, that a chill ran down his spine and icicles formed on his lashes. My boy, stuttered Grandpa, rushing over to his side. I'm afraid we've been a bit hasty.
Starting point is 02:58:42 Let us consider this matter a little further. None of that, fumed chin-shelly, bustling forward hastily. None of that, my word is my word is my. word, I insist upon keeping it." We'll take your word if you'll keep your daughter," began Grandpa quickly. But advancing with mincing little steps the icy princess held out her hand. Her nose was so long and sharp that it made Tatters squint, but before he could make any
Starting point is 02:59:16 objection she seized his hand in her cold clasp. At the same moment all the snowmen except the Chinchilly, sprang back across the little neck of land. Run, panted Grandpa, tucking Tatters by the coat. Run, gasped Ertha. But before Tatters could run, there was a blinding flash. Chinchali had raised his sword, snapped off his daughter's hand, and, seizing her by the other one, he dragged her back across the strip of land.
Starting point is 02:59:53 Then, before a body-coated her, could wink, the snowmen with their sharp axes, chopped away the connecting link, leaving grandpa and his company marooned on the desolate iceberg. "'You have my daughter's hand! But she's already grown another!' shouted Chinchilly maliciously. And so she had. The little party on the ice could plainly see that for themselves. You have my daughter's hand, and that is your half of the kingdom!"
Starting point is 03:00:30 Shrieked the wretched old Snow King, nearly bending double at his own joke. Half the kingdom and the princess's hand snorted the old soldier in a fury. I'll snap off his whiskers. I'll pound him to snowflakes." Gathering himself together, Grandpa prepared to jump back to I suppose so. Tatters, flinging the hand of the princess as far as he could, seized Grandpa around the waist. And it is well that he did, for already there was a great stretch of tumbling waters between the iceberg and the island.
Starting point is 03:01:07 "'He has no more honor than a swordfish,' spluttered Grandpa, breaking away from the prince. I've never been so insulted in my life. "'Where is the golden ship?' demanded an indignant voice. Where are the diamonds? What have you done with the princess? Dropping with a thud that sent a shower of ice splinters into the air, the weathercock planted himself before Grandpa. He had been looking all over I supposeo for Chinchilly,
Starting point is 03:01:39 and had arrived just in time to see his friends sailing off on the iceberg. Oh, Bill! cried Ertha, giving the iron bird an impulsive hug. I thought you were lost. Where is the golden ship? Where are the diamonds? insisted the weathercock, slipping out of Earth's embrace. Oh, go crack yourself some icicles, muttered the old soldier crossly. He did not like to be reminded of his cheerful prophecy.
Starting point is 03:02:09 Go crack yourself some icicles, Bill. That's all the diamonds you'll get. There isn't any ship, nor any diamonds, nor any diamonds, nor any thing," said Tatters, wrapping the skin of the old threadbare more tightly about him, and staring drearily over the tossing waters of the non-nestic ocean. "'But you don't have to marry the princess,' Ertha reminded him softly. "'And even if this isn't a golden ship, couldn't we dance and be happy?' "'Well, if we don't dance, we'll freeze,' fumed Grandpa, beginning to stamp up and down.
Starting point is 03:02:46 "'We'll freeze anyway,' he predicted gloomily. "'Look pleasant, my boy. We might as well freeze as attractively as possible. They'll carve us a monument on a block of ice, no doubt, frozen in the line of duty.' Tatters coughed plaintively and began to tramp sadly up and down after Grandpa. "'Don't freeze,' begged the little flower fairy, clasping her hands in distress and keeping step with the downhearted adventurers. Why, where's that funny bottle?' She asked suddenly. "'The medicine! What have you done with the wizard's medicine?'
Starting point is 03:03:25 crowed the weathercock, flapping his wings. Now so much had happened to the old soldier since the eruption that he had entirely forgotten Gorbis cure for everything. But at Earth's words, he snatched it out, and there listed under coals, chills, frostbites, and exposure, Grandpa found a remedy for their troubles. "'You saved our lives, my dear,' sighed the old soldier, measuring out four drops for tatters on a spoonful of snow.
Starting point is 03:03:58 And everything was better after that. For as soon as Grandpa and the Prince swallowed the marvelous mixture, they began to tangle with warmth, and even an iceberg could not long be cheerless with a little fairy like Eartha aboard. Everywhere she stepped, gay posies blossomed, and soon there were circles and circles of them bobbing in the bright sunshine. Urtha and Bill did not feel the cold, and as Grandpa and Tatters were now frost-proof, their whole outlook changed. The huge iceberg was sliding along through the choppy waves at high speed, and the sensation was not only pleasant, but high.
Starting point is 03:04:43 Excellarating." "'Which way are we going?' asked the old soldier, sitting down recklessly on a cake of ice. "'East!' announced the weathercock, after twirling around three times like a top. "'That's good,' sighed Grandpa. "'For east of us lies Oz, and the nearer we come to Oz, the further we get from I suppose. I never want to see it again, and if that is a sample of your princesses, I'll be like you, Grandpa, and never marry," said the prince, taking a seat beside the old soldier.
Starting point is 03:05:20 I think myself that if we can find my father's head, we'd better just go home anyway. We could work hard in the gingham gardens, raise bigger crops, and— And I'll help you, smiled Ertha, drifting about over the ice like an old-fashioned bouquet, and filling the frosty air with a lovely fragrance. But the fortune! objected Bill, staring at the prince in horror. We have to find the fortune. That's right, agreed the old soldier,
Starting point is 03:05:52 remembering Mrs. So-and-so's words about refurnishing the castle. We mustn't give up yet, just because we've bumped into some odd and chilly places. Just wait, there are lots of princesses and Oz, and fortunes, too. Well, I prefer fairies, sighed tatters with a smile. Charlotte Eartha. Look! cried the little flower girl delightedly. Let's pretend this is a silver ship, and there, as a spray of crystal drops dashed over
Starting point is 03:06:24 the side of the iceberg, there are the diamonds. Let's dance! She looked so coaxing and so cunning, the tatters sprang up impulsively, and the two went skipping, sliding and twirling all over the ice until they were dancing on a perfect carpet of flowers. Teach her the rag-bag quadrille, called Grandpa. If we're going back with a fortune, there'll be high old times in the Red Castle, and Ertha will want to know the dances the same as the other girls.
Starting point is 03:06:56 Wait, I'll play it for you. Seizing his drumsticks, the old soldier broke into the spirited measures of the rag-bag quadrille, and soon Tatters and Erther were bowing and gliding, turning three times to the left and four to the right, pretending. to change partners with a dozen imaginary courtiers, all troubles and dangers forgotten. This reminds me of old times, said Grandpa, stopping at last from lack of breath. And you'll never be a wallflower, my dear, chuckled the old soldier, wagging his finger at the little fairy.
Starting point is 03:07:32 Let's play scrum, proposed tatters, who was perfectly breathless, too. Oh, let's, cried Ertha. So Grandpa obligingly unfastened his game leg, and the Prince and Little Flower Girl were soon deep in the mysteries of the queer old game of Scrum. Bill, keeping score on the ice and the old soldier with half-closed eyes, thinking of the good old days when he was a lad and a hero to all the pretty girls in Ragbad. First peaceful moment we've had since we left the old country, mused Grandpa, and, Reaching down, he picked up his pipe and tobacco. Tatters had removed them from the game leg before they started to play. Absently, Grandpa filled his pipe from one of the pouches,
Starting point is 03:08:24 the blue pouch he had taken from Vega the Bandit. All this time it had lain forgotten in Grandpa's game leg. Without realizing that he had used the robber's tobacco, Grandpa felt for a match. At the same moment, Ertha and Tatters finished their fifth game of scrum, and, closing up the game leg, they buckled it back in place. Now tell me about Ragbad, begged Ertha, leaning against Grandpa's knee. This Tatters was only too delighted to do, for the young prince was heartily homesick, and as he could not be in Ragbad, talking about it was the next best thing. So he told Little Eartha all about his pigeon and the Redsmith and Pudges Tower, where you could
Starting point is 03:09:15 see clear out into Jinksland, and of the fun he and Grandpa had of the old castle, and of Mrs. So-and-so's garden. The old soldier nodded from time to time, and at last, taking up his pipe, he began to smoke. I say began, for at the third puff, a simply a simple. Astonishing thing happened. Bill vanished instanter, and you know how quick that is. Tatters turned to a great black crow, Ertha to a crow of very colored feathers,
Starting point is 03:09:50 and Grandpa himself to an old crow with a game leg. Help! called the old soldier, dropping the pipe from his bill and beginning to hop wildly over the ice. Daisies and Dahlia's eye can fly, "'Twittered Ertha, circling aloft. "'Come on, tatters and try it.' "'He's a crow!' shrieked Grandpa.
Starting point is 03:10:15 "'I'm a crow. You're a crow. What's happened? And where's Bill?' "'Here I am!' screamed a frightened voice. But though they stared and stared, they could see nothing at all, for Bill had turned into a cocks crow, which of course can only be heard and not seen. "'Poor Bill, there's nothing left but his crow,' called Grandpa. "'It's magic!' gasped Tatters. "'It's that pesky wizard,' added the old soldier,
Starting point is 03:10:47 stamping his game foot and ruffling up all his feathers, for Grandpa did not realize he'd smoked Vegas tobacco. "'But now there were crows, why not fly?' asked Eartha merrily. She did not seem to mind her feathers at all. Let's fly back to Oz. Why, so we can, cried Tatters. All the way over the nonestic ocean and sandy desert, straight to the Emerald City itself. Someone's helping us, Grandpa, finished the Prince of Ragbad fluttering into the air.
Starting point is 03:11:22 Wish they'd mind their own business, croaked Grandpa Crossley. Being a crow is no help to me, but come on. We might as well fly while we can. Bill, you lead the way and see that you keep us pointed east, and crow every few minutes, will you, so we can hear where you are. All right, agreed the weathercock readily, and they could tell from the flutter of his iron wings that the puzzled bird had gotten underway. Here I go by the name of Bill, he crowed loudly.
Starting point is 03:11:55 Invisible, chortled the old soldier, rising into the air. Come on, crows. Tatters quickly followed Grandpa, and after Tatters flew Eartha, higher and higher and higher, until the iceberg became only a tiny speck, bobbing up and down in the blue waters of the nonnestic ocean. For a time the adventurers flew in silence, each one pondering the strange events that had crowded upon them in the past few hours. Invisible continued to lead the way,
Starting point is 03:12:30 Grandpa, Prince Tatters, and Eartha winging after him. End of Chapter 13. Chapter 14 of Grandpa in Oz by Ruth Plumley Thompson. This Libri-Vox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 14. On Monday Mountain. Good sleep. How did you enjoy your morning?
Starting point is 03:13:00 asked Percy Veer brightly. Pretty well, smiled Dorothy, sitting up with a little yawn, how did you enjoy your sleep? There was a rock in my bed, said the forgetful poet thoughtfully, and then I got trying to think of a word to rhyme with schnetzel. How about pretzel?
Starting point is 03:13:19 suggested Dorothy, smiling a little to herself, at the forgetful poet's earnestness. And what is a schnetzel? Dorothy smiled sweetly. It's a green mocking bird, explained Percy Veer, tossing back his hair. and it does live on pretzels my dear you have a wonderful mind woof interrupted toto he had been up for hours and wanted his breakfast
Starting point is 03:13:47 the three travellers had been forced to spend the night in the deep forest to which the runaway had brought them the forgetful poet had piled up a soft couch of boughs and leaves for dorothy and toto but had flung himself carelessly under a tree However, it took more than a hard bed to dash Percy's spirits, and, after running up and down a few paces to get the stiffness out of his bones, he began to sing at the top of his voice, filling in the words he forgot with such comical made-up ones that Dorothy could not help laughing. "'I think we are going to have a lucky day, Mr. Veer,' said the little girl, hopping up merrily, don't you?' Percy, who was washing his face in a nearby brook, nodded so. so vigorously that the water splashed in every direction.
Starting point is 03:14:37 I should say, April May, he called Galey. Why do you put in April May, asked Dorothy, running over to splash your own hands in the book? To keep in practice, puffed the forgetful poet. Is that plain, aeroplane? Is that clear? Summer's here. I'm always afraid I shall run out of rhymes, confided Percy, drying his face on his yellow silk handkerchief.
Starting point is 03:15:04 So when I'm talking in prose I usually add a line under my breath. Oh, said Dorothy, and lowered her head, so that the forgetful poet would not see her smile. You like scraps, observed Dorothy presently. She's a poet, too. And as they walk through the fragrant forest, Dorothy told him all about the patchwork girl who lives in the Emerald City.
Starting point is 03:15:28 Scraps, as most of you know, is one of the most famous characters in Oz, being entirely made from a patchwork quilt and magically brought to life. Does she make better verses than I do? asked Percy, jealously. No, answered Dorothy, shaking her head. Not any better, and yours are such fun to finish. This speech so tickled Percy Veer that he recited a verse upon the spot, waving his arms so ferociously that Toto hid under a rock. The little dog peered out from his hiding place to hear the strange poet deliver this jingle,
Starting point is 03:16:08 which his little dog he had could not comprehend in the slightest. As I came out of Snoozleburg, I met a melancholy. He wept because he said he felt so terribly unjolly. I patted him upon the head. He bit me on the shin. which goes to show just what a horrid temper he was was in giggled dorothy and did he really no unreally chuckled the forgetful poet leaning down to give toto's ears an affectionate little tweak "'Unreally, unreally, unruly, unruly. "'As unreally as the breakfast we had this morning.
Starting point is 03:16:53 "' Dorothy, my dear, I'm as weak as tea.' "'Well, you don't look it,' laughed the little girl mischievously. "'But I see a hut between those two pines. "'Perhaps someone lives there. "'Tot, tot, a hut. Let's hasten to it. "'If the door is shut, I'll jump right.' "'All right,' said Dorothy merrily. Come on."
Starting point is 03:17:17 The door was shut, and when the forgetful poet turned the knob it opened easily and they found themselves in a small, simply furnished cabin. There was no one home, but there were eggs, coffee, bacon, and bread in the cupboard. So Percy made a fire in the little stove, and Dorothy quickly prepared an appetizing breakfast. It must belong to a woodcutter, said Dorothy as they sat down cozily together, and I don't believe he'll mind. I'll leave a poem to pay for it, said Percy loftily. And I'll leave my ring, said Dorothy.
Starting point is 03:17:56 She was a little afraid the wood-cutter might not appreciate Percy's poem. While Dorothy washed up the dishes, Percy scribbled away busily on some sheets of paper he had found on the table, and after a good many corrections, he pinned the following verse up on the wall. we've eaten up a little bacon and eggs and such and now are taken our leave except our thanks and you should feel a little honored too have entertained with humble fare a really celebrated pair a princess and a poet who wish you good luck good day uh dorothy took the pencil and added a large dew to percy's last line then leaving her gold ring on the table she skipped off after the forgetful poet and toto who were already out of doors and anxious to be off which way shall we go dorothy paused a moment i think the emerald city is in
Starting point is 03:18:59 in this direction," she decided at last, facing toward the west. Well, I hope so," sighed Persevere, for otherwise we shall never find the princess. I wish I'd flung that prophet out of the window, so I do." You see, the young poet was getting very much discouraged. But even if you had, there still would be the monster to think about, Dorothy reminded him. And if she's lost from us, she's lost from us. She's lost from the monster, too. "'That's so,' said the forgetful poet, cheering up immediately.
Starting point is 03:19:36 "'You think of everything, don't you? I'm going to write a book of verse about you when I get back to perhaps sitting.' "'That'll be nice,' smiled Dorothy. "'But let's hurry up and see how far we can be by noontime.' "'And hurry up it certainly was, for the path Dorothy had chosen, grew steeper and steeper. It wound in and out among the trees, and was so rough and full of stones
Starting point is 03:20:06 that they had to stop every once in a while to rest. It's a mountain! Go fountain! Panted Percy Veer after they had tiles steadily upward for more than an hour. Never mind, puffed Dorothy, tucking Toto under her arm, for the poor Bawau was completely worn out. When we reach the top, know where we are. The trees had thinned out by this time, and clouds of vapor hid the top of
Starting point is 03:20:35 the mountain from view, but Dorothy and the forgetful poet kept climbing upward on and on and up. "'It's a dreadful blue mountain,' said Dorothy at last, leaning against a rock. "'It's blue as bluing,' groaned Percy Veer, shaking a stone out of his shoe. "'What's this?' "'What's that?' cried Dorothy in the same breath. Now this, as it happened, was a clothes-horse, full of petticoats and pajamas, and as the two travelers stared at it in disbelief, it kicked up its pegs and dashed off at a
Starting point is 03:21:15 gallop, its petticoats and pajamas snapping in the breeze. And that was a washwoman, a wild, wild washwoman, her hair dragged up on top of her head and held in place by a couple of clothespins. She had a clothes prop in one hand and a cake of soap in the other. Hurling both with all her might at Percy Veer, she turned and scrambled up the mountain, screaming in a dozen different keys as she scrambled. The clothes prop missed,
Starting point is 03:21:48 but the great cake of soap caught Percy squarely in the stomach. "'Grunted the forgetful poet, sitting down from the shock. How rude, how rough, how awfully wasteful! The lady's manners are dis-discusting, panted Dorothy, who was too frightened to make a rhyme. "'Can you fight?' she asked breathlessly, helping Percy to his feet. "'I think there's going to be a fight, look.' Percy snatched up the cake of soap that had fell him, and turned to see what was coming. Through the clouds of steam that hung over the mountaintop, there suddenly burst a terrible company.
Starting point is 03:22:32 Toto hid his head in Dorothy's blouse, and the forgetful poet could think of no verse to express his feelings. No wonder! A charge of wild washwomen is enough to frighten the bravest traveler, and that is exactly what was coming. An army of washwomen armed with long bars of soap, bottles of bluing, blows, props, washboards, tubs, and baskets. They were huge and fat with rolled-up sleeves and cross-red faces, and the faster they ran, the crosser they grew, and the crosser they grew, the faster they ran. Doesn't seem polite to fight the ladies, but Percy raised his arm and flung the cake with all his might at the head of the advancing army.
Starting point is 03:23:22 It struck her smartly on the nose, and with a howl of rage she dropped her wash-tub and rushed upon the two helpless adventurers. Wash their faces! Earn their hands and wring their necks, she roared hoarsely. What are you doing here, you, you scutter-mullions? Before either could answer, and Percy was racking his brains to think of a word rhyme with scudder-millions, she had Dorothy by one arm and the forgetful poet by the other, shaking them until they couldn't have spoken had they tried, while the others pressed so close,
Starting point is 03:24:04 as Dorothy told Osma afterwards, it's a wonder they weren't smothered on the spot. But at last, weary of shaking them, the wild-washwoman flung them down upon a rock. you're a disgrace to our mountain she panted angrily look at your clothes to be quite truthful dorothy and the forgetful poet were looking shabby and dusty in the extreme give me his coat give me her dress snatch off their socks screamed the other washwomen making little snatches at the two on the rock percy put his arms protectingly around dorothy and Toto showed all his teeth, and began to growl so terribly that even the head of the washwomen stepped back. "'What are you doing on Monday Mountain?' she demanded indignantly. "'Monday Mountain?' asked Percy Veer. "'Did you hear that, Dorothy? We're on Monday Mountain. Great bluing, black and bluing,'
Starting point is 03:25:12 finished Percy with a groan. "'Stop mumbling and speak up,' shouted the washwoman, threateningly. "'Stop shouting and shut up,' barked Toto, unexpectedly. "'We're searching for a princess,' explained Dorothy, in the surprised silence that followed Toto's remarks. "'A princess? Oh, mother!' Out from the dreadful group sprang, a perfectly enormous wash girl. Tell them, tell them, she gave the leader of the tribe a playful push.
Starting point is 03:25:47 Oh, mother, may I have him? My daughter is a princess, announced the washwoman, grandly. Princess of the Tubbies, and as this yellow bird pleases her, he may remain. And marry me, exulted the princess of Monday Mountain, clasping her fat hands in glee. Marry you! shouted Percy Veer, springing to his feet. Never! Absolutely no, do me no.
Starting point is 03:26:19 Dorothy, Dorothy, do you hear what they're saying? Dorothy did not, for she had both hands over her ears. The shouts and screams of the tubbies, at Percy's refusal to marry their princess, were so shrill and piercing that she thought her head would split with the racket. To the wash-tubs with them! screamed the queen furiously. Wash their faces, wring their necks, hang them up to dry.
Starting point is 03:26:50 And, seizing upon the lockless pair, the wild-wash women bore them struggling and kicking to the top of Monday Mountain, Toto dashing after, and the herds of clothes-horses that graze on the mountainside scattered in every direction as they passed. End of Chapter 14. Chapter 15 of Grandpa and Oz by Ruth Plumbley Thompson. This Librivox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 15. The Finding of Fumbo's Head
Starting point is 03:27:29 For an hour, the Three Crows and Invisible, flew steadily over the non-nestic ocean, and flying was so unusual and pleasant a sensation that they were too interested to talk. Besides, Grandpa had warned them in the beginning to keep all their strength for flying, for there was no telling how long they would remain crows, and it would be extremely dangerous to change back while up in the air and over the ocean. So, except for the occasional calls of Bill to let them know which way to go,
Starting point is 03:28:03 they crossed the great ocean in silence. Land! screamed the weathercock as the rocky shores of Ev came into view. Well, that's over! called Grandpa. a lightning, thankfully, on a rough cliff. Now we must cross this country and the sandy desert. Anybody tired? Earth and Tatters shook their heads, and no one could see what Bill did. So after a few minutes' rest they rose into the air again and flew swiftly over Ev,
Starting point is 03:28:35 on and on, until there reached the great desert that entirely surrounds the magic kingdom of Oz. "'Fly higher!' commanded the old soldier, for he had read so much of the deadly nature of this desert, that he wanted to be as far above it as possible. So the little flock of crows and Invisible soared high into the air, and they crossed the desert even faster than they had crossed the non-nestic ocean, fear lending speed to their wings.
Starting point is 03:29:09 And when at last the lovely land of the wind, Winky spread out below them. The old soldier gave a crow of delight. Just keep on this way and we'll be an Emerald City by noontime, exalted Grandpa. Forward for Ragbad and Oz. And flying is such fun, chuckled Eartha, circling close to the old soldier. I don't care how long I am a crow, but—oh, Mr. Grandpa, there's a gun sticking through your feathers. What? Crocked the old soldier in alarm.
Starting point is 03:29:43 I feel heavy, sputtered Tatters suddenly. And looking at the young prince, Grandpa saw that from the waist down he was Tatters, and from the waist up he was still a crow. Down, everybody down! Down as fast as you can fly! Ordered the old soldier in a panic. He himself could feel his feathers turning to close, and his wing seemed too like to hold up his body. Half flying and half falling, half people and half crows. The little company
Starting point is 03:30:16 shot downward, and it is mighty lucky they started down when they did. As it was, they turned back to themselves and landed at one and the same minute, and the landing was so hard that for a moment no one spoke at all. The old soldier broke the silence. "'Why, there's Bill,' cried Grandpa, who was sitting calmly. in the middle of a yellow rose-bush. He had grown somewhat used to falling about by this time. "'How do you feel, Bill?' asked the old soldier, extracting several thorns from his person.
Starting point is 03:30:53 "'How do I look?' asked the weathercock anxiously. "'Hansom as ever,' said Grandpa, eyeing him closely. "'Being invisible hasn't hurt you at all. "'And how are the rest of my old cronies?' "'I'm all right,' Smell Ertha, jumping up lightly. The little flower maiden was looking as beautiful as ever. "'So am I,' said Tatters,
Starting point is 03:31:18 "'but I'd like to know how we happen to turn crow, and whether it's going to happen often. You know, Grandpa, it would be mighty inconvenient to be turning backwards and forwards any minute. I am sure it would be very unpleasant.' "'Well, it helped us over a couple of bad places,' mused the old soldier. The mischief, boys, I've lost my pipe." Grandpa clapped one hand to his pocket and the other to his chin.
Starting point is 03:31:48 You dropped it when you were a crow, Tatters reminded him. Grandpa did not answer, for out of his pocket he had drawn the blue tobacco pouch of Vaga the Bandit. In the excitement following Bill's disappearance, all the tobacco had spilled out. But the pouch, Grandpa had thrust into his pocket just before. he turned crow. Now at any rate, here it was, and on the flap, this amazing sentence. To turn people to crows, smoke this tobacco. One puff will keep a company of captive crows for one hour, two puffs, two hours, three puffs for three hours, and so on.
Starting point is 03:32:32 So that's the reason there were so many crows in the blue forest, shouted Grandpa indignantly, "'So that's why we turn to crows!' "'It's three hours to the minute,' he puffed, pulling out his watch. "'What are you talking about?' asked Tatters, Crossley. "'Us!' chuckled Grandpa. "'It was the bandit's tobacco that did the trick.' Showing them the blue pouch, he explained how he had smoked the magic tobacco instead of his own, and how just three puffs had kept them crows for three hours.
Starting point is 03:33:09 A couple more puffs than we'd have been all the way to the Emerald City, sighed the old soldier regretfully. How some ever, marching is more to my taste. What about eating? That's more to mine, Tatters yawned, for flying had made him quite hungry. All right, agreed Grandpa. And, unfastening his knapsack, he took out one of the dried bare steaks and busied himself with making a fire.
Starting point is 03:33:37 Fortunately, they had lost none of their parts. possessions by turning to crows, that is nothing except Grandpa's pipe. I love this country, said Eartha, sitting solemnly beside the old soldier. I believe I like Oz better than the Wizard's Garden. It's the top of the world, boasted Grandpa, dropping the steak into his campaign frying pan. Tatters, meanwhile, had found a pink plum tree and came back with his cap full of plums, so that he and Grandpa had a most satisfying luncheon. Bill, as usual, was searching for the fortune,
Starting point is 03:34:15 and, while they were eating, Ertha merrily skipped rope with a long spray of honeysuckle. Cheer up, boy, said the old soldier, for the prince was looking rather thoughtful. We're on the right track now and only a day's march from the capital. Storm coming, storm coming, shrill the weathercock, dropping down suddenly beside the fire. Wind, thunder, and possible showers.
Starting point is 03:34:44 Oh, go on, scoffed Grandpa, gathering up his ten camp dishes. You go on, Bill. I don't want to go on, said the weathercock, stubbornly. There's a storm coming, I tell you. And sure enough, at that minute a great gust of wind scattered the campfire, blew off Grandpa's hat and sent a cloud of leaves scurrying over the meadows. Tatters reached for his red umbrella which was never far from his side, and Ertha, her flowery skirts flying out like ribbons on a maypole,
Starting point is 03:35:22 came hurrying back. "'I've thought of something!' screamed Bill. He had to scream to make himself heard, for the wind had risen to a perfect gale. If the king's head was lost in a storm, why wouldn't it be found in a storm? Snuff and nonsense, shouted the old soldier, picking up his hat and jamming it over his ears. Then as the first splatter of rain came pelting down, he dashed under the big red umbrella. Tatters had all he could do to hold it steady, and several times the wind nearly jerked him into the air. So Grandpa seized the handle with both hands, and Ertha also took hold.
Starting point is 03:36:09 But it was no use. The gale was too much for them, and before they had time to let go, the red umbrella whirled up like a balloon, carrying them all along. "'Here I come by the name of Bill!' shrieked the Weathercock, and flinging himself aloft. He scrambled on top of the king's umbrella. But even Bill's weight could not bring it down. "'He-he! Why this?' laughed the little flower fairy, as the umbrella soared up toward the clouds.
Starting point is 03:36:45 "'This is better than flying.' "'Better hold on,' advised Grandpa grimly. "'There's nothing between us and the earth but air.' The wind rose higher and higher. The rain swirled all around them and tossed them about like rag dolls. The three clung desperately to the umbrella, but in ten minutes they had risen above the storm area and were sailing straight toward a great patch of pink skyland. About halfway over, the umbrella drifted slowly downward, and Grandpa and Tatters, rather
Starting point is 03:37:21 uncertainly, stood up in the pink clouds. Will we drop through? asked the prince, doubtfully, still keeping hold of the umbrella. After a few steps they found it quite a little. as secure as the real earth. How soft it feels, murmured Ertha. And letting go of the umbrella, she began skipping over the fluffy cloud meadows, posy springing up wherever she stepped,
Starting point is 03:37:48 just as they had on I suppose so. And so fresh and beautiful did the little flower girl appear against the pink of the clouds, that Grandpa and Tatters simply gasped, And a little Sky Shepherdess, who had been resting on a cloud bank, picked up her crook and came running over to touch Eartha. "'Are you a fairy?' asked the little shepherdess breathlessly. "'Are you a princess?' demanded Bill, fluttering down in front of the little Sky Lady before Eartha had time to speak at all. Bill never allowed anything to interfere with Bistus.
Starting point is 03:38:31 "'Oh, no!' the cunning little lady swore. her moon bonnet, and fluffed out her skirts which were all embroidered with stars. Oh, no, I'm only a shepherdess," she answered modestly. "'Well, we're looking for a head, a princess, and a fortune,' grasped Bill impatiently. "'What do you shepherd?' asked the old soldier, pushing Bill hurriedly aside. "'I didn't know there were any sheep in the sky.' "'Not sheep!' cried the little maiden, throwing back her head and laughing heartily, not sheep, but stars.
Starting point is 03:39:08 I tend all the baby snars and keep them from falling out of the Milky Way. She finished, smiling shyly at Tatters. "'You do,' marveled the Prince of Ragbed. "'Well, where are they now, and what do you call yourself?' "'I never call myself, but the stars call me, Mary Bella,' answered the little shepherdess with a demure bow. "'They're asleep now.' "'Are you really looking for a princess?' "'Hatters nodded, and Ertha, slipping her arms around Mary Bella's waist,
Starting point is 03:39:43 kissed her on both cheeks. "'I wish you were the princess,' sighed Eartha, stepping back to look wistfully at the little Sky-maiden. "'Why?' asked Mary Bella, curiously. "'Because you're the only one we've seen who is lovely enough to marry the prince,' said Ertha. Tatters looked mightily embarrassed at Earth's speech, and Grandpa, drawing Mary Bella aside, told her the whole story of their adventures. "'Well,' mused the little sky-maiden as he finished,
Starting point is 03:40:18 "'there aren't any princesses or fortunes in the sky, but there are lots of heads here in the clouds.' "'There are,' roared Grandpa in astonishment. Mary Bella nodded. "'Didn't you know? Many Earth people have their heads in the clouds?' she asked seriously. "'Why, there's a whole company of them on the other side of this very hill.' "'Farward, March!' cried the old soldier excitedly. "'Eurtha, Tatters, Bill, fall in with you.' "'So fall in they did.'
Starting point is 03:40:55 And Mary Bella was right, for on the other side of the cloud hill were nearly a hundred heads resting lightly on the pink clouds. Some were smoking, some stared straight ahead, and others were carrying on a lively conversation between themselves. Father! screamed the Prince of Ragbad, for King Fumbo's head was almost the first they spied. Fumbo was talking quietly to the head of an inventor of market baskets with legs, and he turned in some surprise at Tatters' call.
Starting point is 03:41:30 The head! the head, we have found the head, crowed Bill exultantly and burst into such a hurrah of cock-a-doodle-dos that several of the smokers dropped their pipes. And King Fumbo looked positively frightened. Your Majesty, said Grandpa reproachfully, as Bill finally subsided, How could you leave us like this? We've been through earth, air, fire, and water to find you.
Starting point is 03:41:58 Well, I guess the jig's up. sighed Fumbo sorrowfully. But it's been a great treat, Grandpa, getting off like this. How is everybody? Everybody was well enough when I left, said Grandpa a bit stiffly, for he couldn't help feeling that Fumbo could have got home
Starting point is 03:42:17 if he had wanted to. Everybody's well enough, except your own body, and that looks mighty silly with the doughnut they have given it. So they gave me a doughhead. Well, won't that do? asked the king fretfully of the old soldier. "'Oh, father, please come back,' begged Tatters, falling on his knees before the king's head.
Starting point is 03:42:41 "'You must certainly resume your body,' declared the old soldier sternly. "'How did you get up here in the first place?' "'It was the storm,' began Fumbo, rolling his eyes from one to the other. "'My head never was on very tight, you know.' Grandpa nodded dryly. So it blew off, continued the king calmly.
Starting point is 03:43:06 And then I had on a wing collar. Fumbo coughed apologetically, and the thing flew right well. So I flew till I came to this cloud, and here I've been ever since. I suppose I must go back, if you say so, but it's a poor business, old fellow. How are you going to get down from here? How did you get up? Who is this little Miss Rosie Posey, and that iron-billed bird you have with you? "'This is Ertha,' explained Tatters proudly.
Starting point is 03:43:38 "'We found her in an enchanted garden. And that's Bill. We found him in the blue forest, and, oh, father, we've had such strange adventures.' "'Tell me all,' sighed Fumbo, closing his eyes and smacking his lips with anticipation. "'Not unless you come back with us,' said Grandpa, craftily. "'We were in an island of fire,' began Tatters. Well, Ertha, who was pressed close to his side, nodded excitedly. "'What?' exclaimed Fumbo, opening his eyes as far as they could go.
Starting point is 03:44:15 "'I'll come,' he decided hastily, "'and you must tell me every single bit of the story.' "'Grandpaugh smiled slyly. Tatters promised, and before he could change his mind, the old soldier thrust the king's head into the pink bag Marabella had used for her knitting. Then accompanied by the little sky shepherdess, Grandpa and his army prepared to leave the sky. The other heads looked very sulky as they passed by, but, paying no attention to their
Starting point is 03:44:46 mutterings, Grandpa marched to the edge of the great pink cloud. "'Now what?' mused the old soldier. Staring down anxiously, Are there any steps or airships about, my dear? Mary Bella shook her head. But there's a rainbow, she cried suddenly. Could you use that? Arching from the edge of the cloud and down as far as they could see
Starting point is 03:45:12 curved a wide, glittering rainbow, for the storm was over and the sun was shining through the clouds. Dancing down the rainbow came a fairy almost as lovely as earth, Ertha herself. It was Polychrome, the Rain King's daughter, and when Maribel explained that Grandpa and his company were from Oz, she insisted upon kissing them all, for Polychrome had visited in Oz many times, and had met with some fine adventures there. "'Come on!' cried Polychrome, gaily. I'll show you how to travel on a rainbow.' Seizing Ertha by the hand, she began running down.
Starting point is 03:45:54 the bow, as you and I would run down steps. Calling goodbye to Marabella, Grandpa and Tatters quickly followed, the prince carrying his father's head and the red umbrella, and Grandpa balancing Bill upon his shoulder. Now all we have to find is the princess and the fortune, and a couple of new pipes, sighed Grandpa. "'Ah, let's go home without them,' begged Tatters eagerly. "'I want to show Earth of the castle, and the picture. We don't need a fortune to be happy, Grandpa.
Starting point is 03:46:28 No, don't give up yet, advised Grandpa, turning to wag his finger at the Prince. There's always a fortune at the end of the rainbow. Look, I believe we're coming down in the winky country, and when we do, Grandpa pulled his whiskers determinedly, I'm going to get myself an anchor. I'm tired of this flying and falling about. Use me!
Starting point is 03:46:54 proed Bill, but as he spoke, the bow grew suddenly so very slant that instead of running, they began to slide faster and faster and faster. "'Good-bye,' called Polychrome mischievously. "'I'd come with you, but it's my daddy's birthday, and we're having a party in the sky.' Just as Polly came to party, Grandpa and his army came to the end of the rainbow and tumbled off in fine style. None of them was heard in the tumble, and all scrambled to their feet as quickly as they could. "'Good-bye, Polychrome,' called Ertha.
Starting point is 03:47:36 She was the only one who had breath enough to speak. "'Oh, good gracious,' puffed the old soldier. "'I hope we've not broken your father's head.' "'Well, if it's not broken, it's badly cracked,' raged the king, stuffily, from the inside of the bag. "'If you're going to fling me about it, like this, I'll not stick with you, do you hear?" The adventurers smiled and silently put their fingers to their lips, and King Fumbo decided
Starting point is 03:48:05 that further protest was useless. End of Chapter 15. Chapter 16 of Grandpa in Oz by Ruth Plumley Thompson. This Libre Vox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 16 Princess Dorothe escapes. The two days that Grandpa and his little army had been adventuring in the Wizard's Garden on Fire Island and I suppose so.
Starting point is 03:48:40 Dorothy, Toto, and the forgetful poet had spent as prisoners on Monday Mountain. Only the friendship of Princess Pearl Borax had saved them from actual harm, for the Queen of the Tubbies had nearly carried out her threat of ringing their necks. But the queen finally had sentenced them to the washtubs, and from morning till night Dorothy and Persevere had been forced to bend over the washboards with the rest of the Wild Washwomen tribe. Several times during the first day Perseveer had almost agreed to marry the dreadful daughter of the old Washwoman, for he could not bear to see dear little Dorothy working like a slave.
Starting point is 03:49:24 The forgetful poet himself had never done any hard work. and in an hour he had rubbed all the skin from his knuckles and all the buttons from the clothes. But Dorothy would not hear of his marrying pearl borax. So, hiding his own discomfort, Percy did the best he could to keep her cheerful, reciting his ridiculous rhymes and waving the shirt stockings and pantaloons around his head whenever the queen's back was turned. Even so, keeping cheerful was hard work, and often both grew deep. downhearted. And Osma thinks I'm having a fine visit with the tin woodman, sighed Dorothy wearily toward the end
Starting point is 03:50:06 of the second day. And Pierre Haps thinks I'm rescuing his daughter, groaned Percy Veer, letting the Queen's red tablecloth slip back into his tub, and staring mournfully down Monday Mountain. Then, seeing that Dorothy was actually near to tears, he tilted his cap over one eye, and whispered this verse into her right ear. It's wash, splosh, rub, and hang them up for dryin. If something doesn't happen soon, I'll simply bust out. Crying, Dorothy smiled, and dashed the tears out of her eyes.
Starting point is 03:50:47 Here comes the old lady, she finished hurriedly. Isn't she simply sinubious, sniffed Percy, dousing the red tablecloth up and down in the water? What did you say? Roared the queen of the tubbies. I said, grinned Percy mischievously. Her highness is so beautiful. Her brightness stems the eye.
Starting point is 03:51:10 I'll work here and be dutiful until the day I... I... Die, spluttered Dorothy. And the clumsy queen lumbered on with a pleased smirk. Better make up your mind to marry Pearl, she called over her shoulder, and Pearl Borox blew Percy a wet kiss over her tub of clothes. Toto, who was tied to Dorothy's tub, growled fiercely, where he loathe the whole tribe of sloppy, messy washwomen.
Starting point is 03:51:44 "'We must think of a way out,' gasped the poor poet unhappily. For life on Monday Mountain, where every day is wash-day, and every dinner is of potatoes and cabbage, was not to be endured. They had been over the matter a hundred times before, and there really seemed no chance of escape at all. The tubs of the tribe were ranged in a circle around the mountaintop, so that Dorothy and the forgetful poet were always under guard. A white fence ran around the mountain a few feet below.
Starting point is 03:52:19 You may have heard of a fence running around before, but this was the first fence Dorothy. ever had seen it actually did run. It was tall and spiked and flashed round and round till just watching it gave one the headache. It was too high to jump, and the gate only came opposite Dorothy and the forgetful poet once a day. When they had been dragged up the mountain, the queen had addressed a low word to the fence. Immediately it had stopped, and they had all come through the gate. But what was the word? Ever since his capture, Percy Veer had been trying to puzzle it out, and now, leaning his elbows on his washboard, he began trying again. Indeed, he thought
Starting point is 03:53:09 until he had twelve wrinkles in his forehead, and all at once, like a flash of lightning, it came to him such a short sense of a word that he gave a triumphant skip. instant he was splashing the clothes in his tub so vigorously that none of the wild washwomen heard him give Dorothy a few quick instructions. In five minutes the gate would be opposite, and one minute before the five were up, the three prisoners dashed down the mountain. "'Stop!' shouted Percy Veer imperiously, hammering upon the fence with a rock. "'Oh, joy! It did stop!' And as the gate was now exactly, in front of them, Persevere opened it boldly and pulled Dorothy and Toto through.
Starting point is 03:54:00 No sooner were they out than the fence began to spin around as fast as ever, so that before the wild washwomen who saw them escape could follow, the gate was halfway around the mountain. With howls of rage and fright, for the tubbies knew that the queen would be furious, the dreadful creatures overturned their wash-tubs and a perfect torrent of hot soapy water came cascading down the mountainside, upsetting Dorothy and the forgetable poet, and making the path so slippery that they never stop sliding till they reach the bottom. Breathless, drenched and shaken, but otherwise unhurt. They picked themselves up, and without pausing to rest. All three began running as fast as ever they could away from Monday Mountain.
Starting point is 03:54:51 How did you ever think of telling the fence to stop?' puffed Dorothy, stopping under a broad tulip tree. Had to gasped Percy, dropping heavily to the ground and leaning over to Pat Toto, who sat with closed eyes and tongue out, trying to catch up his breath. Then Percy delivered this gym. Far from the tubby's little princess, and wouldn't they start yet? and blue when rinsus. Did you say princess? Interrupted a voice.
Starting point is 03:55:27 Dorothy and Percy both jumped, and Toto gave a frightened bark, for sitting on a lower branch of the tulip tree was our old friend Bill. Did you say princess? crowed the weathercock. Percy was too surprised to do anything but nod, and the iron bird rattled into the air screaming,
Starting point is 03:55:49 the princess, the princess, and flew over the treetops. End of Chapter 16. Chapter 17 of Grandpa and Oz by Ruth Plumley Thompson. This Leary Vox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 17. The Adventurers Meet. I don't see any princess, sniffed the old soldier, coming to an abrupt halt and eyeing the
Starting point is 03:56:25 to travelers critically. Grandpa and his army had barely recovered from their tumble off the rainbow before Bill's cries, announcing the princess, brought them hurrying to the tulip tree where Dorothy and Percy Vare were resting. "'Am I dreaming?' gulped the forgetful poet, clutching Dorothy's hand. "'Am I dreaming, or what?' His eye roved from Grandpa's game leg to Tatter's mini-hued suit and finally came to rest on the lovely little flower fairy."
Starting point is 03:56:58 "'There is the princess,' insisted Bill, pointing his claw at Dorothy. "'Snuff and nonsense snapped the old soldier, scornfully. You're a regular false alarm, Bill, always going off at the wrong time. Why, that's only a dusty little country girl and no proper match for the prince at all.' Grandpa's lofty speech brought Percy quickly out of his dream. "'Don't you be so, my and Heidi?' muttered the forgetful poet, drawing himself up proudly. "'You don't know what you're talking about. You—' "'No offense, no offense,' observed Grandpa coolly.
Starting point is 03:57:38 "'It's not the child's fault that she's not a princess. I dare say she's a very nice little girl, but we're looking for a princess.' "'Why, so are we,' cried Dorothy in surprise. "'But you needn't be so impolite.' she is a princess too and do you mean to stand there and tell me that that young rag-bag is a prince persevere stared at tatters long and earnestly and then rolling his eyes murmured feelingly A prince of rags and scraps and patches, and then they talk to us of matches. The prince of what? The prince of where?
Starting point is 03:58:20 He has a bird's nest in his—in his—in his—hear! Giggled Dorothy. Poor tatters blushed to his ears and hurriedly try to smooth out his hair with his fingers. "'Come on!' cried Grandpa indignantly. "'They're crazy!' "'If you'll believe he's a prince, I'll believe. she's a princess, put in a soft voice, and Ertha, who had been listening anxiously to the sharp speeches on both sides, danced up to the forgetful poet.
Starting point is 03:58:52 That's fair enough, agreed Percy Veer, riding at the little flower fairy. You believe in us and we'll believe in you, and if you say so, I'll believe that six and one are two, said Dorothy, only there eight. You mustn't mind Percy's forgetting. You see he is a poet, she explained hastily. "'Let me out! Let me out! What's all this noise?' Dorothy and the forgetful poet exchanged frightened glances. Toto crept back of the tree trunk with only one ear showing, for the voice certainly had come from a bag on the prince's shoulder. "'Not a dream, but a nightmare!' choked the forgetful poet, as the Prince of Ragbad calmly
Starting point is 03:59:41 took his father's head out of the knitting bag and held it up toward them. "'Don't be alarmed,' purred Fumbo in his drowsy voice as the two clung to one another in panic. "'I'm not alarmed, I'm—I'm petrified,' gasped Percy, looking over his shoulder to see whether the path was clear in case he should desire to run. "'It has a crown on,' whispered Dorothy nervously. "'It must be a king. I once knew a princess who had dozens of heads and took them off. Maybe he's like that.
Starting point is 04:00:18 You're speaking of Princess Langbadere, I presume, drawled Fumbo. Being a great reader, Fumbo was well acquainted with all the celebrities in Oz. No, my dear, I am not like that. As it happens, I have only one head, and it blew off, as you can plainly see. This young man you see here is my son, and he is carrying my head back to my body. And now you may tell me your story, commanded the king, smiling graciously. His glance rested curiously on Dorothy. You are known to me already, continued the king.
Starting point is 04:00:58 Grandpa, this is Princess Dorothy of Oz, and she is even prettier than her pictures, if you will permit me to say so. I told you she was as princess, crowed the Weathercock triumphantly. Have you a fortune with you, girl? The Dorothy, who lives in the Emerald City? gasped Tatters, almost dropping his father's head. The Dorothy who discovered Oz? Dorothy nodded modestly, and Grandpa, covered with confusion at the memory of his sharp speech,
Starting point is 04:01:31 tried to hide behind Tatters. "'Never mind,' laughed Dorothy, seeing Grandpa's embarrassment. "'I really don't look like a princess now. You see, we've had such a hard journey, falling down a mountain and all. We're kind of rumpled.' "'We've been through a week of wash-days,' groaned Percy Vair, straightening his jacket and looking ruefully at his red hands. "'I'm sorry I didn't realize you were a prince.'
Starting point is 04:02:01 He turned contritely to talk about. Tatters. Mistakes all around, you see? Well, we've had a hard time, too, admitted the Prince of Ragbad, making another frantic attempt to smooth his hair. Ask her if she has a fortune, insisted Bill, settling heavily on the prince's shoulder. Hush, said Tatters, giving Bill a poke. Oh, goody, goody, we're all going to be friends. Eartha spread out her flowery skirts and danced happily around the little group.
Starting point is 04:02:33 Oh, forget me, knots and daisies, O Dahlias and pinks!" And you're the whole bouquet, Miss May, cried Persevere, as he was immediately interrupted by Fumbo. "'Stop!' cried the king's head. Let us keep these stories straight. You said you were looking for a princess? What princess?" "'Company, sit down,' ordered the old soldier gruffly. He had commanded the expedition so far and was not going to be bossed around at this stage
Starting point is 04:03:08 of the game. Tatters and Ertha promptly obeyed, the prince carefully holding his father's head in his lap. Dorothy and Percy Veer, after their long run, were glad enough to rest. So down they all sat in a big circle under the green tree, Bill and Toto in the center, staring at one another curiously. Now then, Mr. Grandpa nodded condescendingly at the forgetful poet. Veer, put in Percy politely. Now then, Mr. Veer, let us have your story, said the old soldier, taking a big pinch of snuff.
Starting point is 04:03:48 So, with many interruptions from King Fumbo, who seemed to know all about perhaps city, and many lapses into verse, the forgetful poet told of Abrog's prophet, about the monster of the strange disappearance of the little princess and Abrog himself, of his tumble-down, maybe mountain, and of his and Dorothy's adventures since then on the runaway and Monday Mountain." "'H!" grunted the old soldier, when he had finished. "'I wouldn't trust the prophet as far as I could swing a chimney by the smoke.' That prophet has run off with her.
Starting point is 04:04:27 You can bet your last shoe button on that. And since we are searching for a princess ourselves, we might as well look for the princess of perhaps city. What do you say, my boy?" Grandpa glanced questioningly at Tatters. I'll be glad to help Princess Dorothy and this, this poet, but— Already Tatters had made up his mind to return with Ertha to Ragbad, regardless of fortunes and princesses.
Starting point is 04:04:56 No buts about it, roared the king's head indignantly. She'll be a splendid match for you, my son, and perhaps, from all reports, is one of the merriest monarchs in Oz. Why, I doked on him already. Can't all this wait till we find the princess? Protested Percy Veer nervously. No use rushing matters, you know? All this talk of marrying rather upset him.
Starting point is 04:05:23 Tatters looked great for. at the forgetful poet, and decided to forgive him for his rude verse. "'Of course they can wait,' agreed the prince heartily. "'The first thing to do is to rescue the princess.' "'No, the first thing to do is to tell us who you are,' laughed Dorothy, who could restrain her curiosity no longer. "'Why, we don't even know your names or how you happen to be in this part of Oz.' "'We followed the directions on the...
Starting point is 04:05:54 the bottle, explained Bill, importantly. We fell, swum, exploded, sailed, and flew. You tell them, begged Tatters, looking appealingly at the old soldier, for he could see that Bill was going to mix things dreadfully. Yes, you tell us, commanded Fumbo. He had not yet heard the story of their journey from Ragbad himself, and was even more curious about it than Dorothy. So Grandpa took the story.
Starting point is 04:06:24 center of the circle. Now, next to fighting, the old soldier loved to talk, and next to fighting, talking was the best thing he did. His recycle of the experiences of his little army during the past three days was so thrilling that Dorothy and Percy simply held their breath, and Toto's ears waved with excitement. Dorothy was particularly interested in Bill and the strange manner in which he had been shocked to life. Being from the United States herself, it seemed real homelike to meet a fellow countryman, even if he was only a weathercock.
Starting point is 04:07:03 As for Percy Veer, who had lived all his life on Maybe Mountain, nothing could exceed his astonishment as Grandpa proceeded from one adventure to the next. Do you mind if I close my eyes? Percy muttered weakly as Grandpa reached the point in his story where they had discovered Earth a-growing in the Wizard's Garden. Do you mind if I close my eyes? I can believe anything with my eyes shut.
Starting point is 04:07:28 Not if you close your mouth also, snapped Grandpa, and went right on with his story, never even stopping for breath until he had reached their last tumble from the rainbow. Professor Wogglebug will have to write a whole new history, breathed Dorothy, as Grandpa settled back in his place. and Osma will never allow the bandit to stay in the blue forest, nor Gorba to practice magic in his hidden garden.
Starting point is 04:07:57 Oh, my, I do believe you can help us find the princess after all. You are so brave and interesting. Dorothy smiled at Grandpa and Tatters and the forgetful poet, opening his eyes, stared dreamily at the little flower fairy. If I had my arms, I'd embrace you all, exclaimed from Bo, feelingly, and you shall have hugs all around as soon as I get back to my body. You're a credit to the country, and Bill here shall have a perch on the highest tower in Ragbed, and Little Miss Posies.
Starting point is 04:08:32 But the princess! exclaimed Bill anxiously, and the fortune we can't go back without them. Too late to hunt for them today, chuckled Grandpa. And indeed, while they had been talking, the sun had dropped down behind the days splashed hill, leaving the world bathed in a pleasant dusk. We're all tired, so we'll have supper and make camp here, decided Grandpa sensibly. Then tomorrow we'll start after that profit with gun, musket, sword, and boot leather. That's the talk, cried Percy Veer, jumping up to help Tatters gather wood for a fire. With such good company, the last of the bear stakes from Isoposo, and the berries gathered by
Starting point is 04:09:19 little Ertha tasted better than a feast, and nothing could have exceeded the jollity of that evening round Grandpa's campfire. Between the forgetful poet's verse and the old soldier's jokes, they were simply convulsed, and finally, when they had talked over their adventures to heart's content, Dorothy, Tatters, the forgetful poet, and Ertha, settled down to a quiet game of scrum. Soon the only sound to be heard was the click of the checkers on Grandpa's game leg and the loud snores of Fumbo's head, which hung from a branch of the tulip tree in the pink knitting bag of Marabella, the Little Sky Shepherdess. End of Chapter 17.
Starting point is 04:10:06 Chapter 18 of Grandpa in Oz by Ruth Plumley Thompson. This Librivox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 18. The mischievous playfellows. Bright and early next morning, Grandpa lined up here. his little army, and after a short council, they determined to continue their march to the Emerald City, and learned from Osma's magic picture just where Abrog and the lost princess of perhaps city were to be found. Although breakfast had been a light affair of water and berries,
Starting point is 04:10:44 they were all in excellent spirits, and with Grandpa's drum beating out a lively march, they stepped merrily down the shady, winky lane. Grandpa and the forgetful poet let off. Dorothy and the Prince of Ragbad followed, the prince carrying his father's head and his red umbrella. Ertha danced in and out to suit her own sweet fancy. Bill flew ahead, and Toto trotted contentedly behind. "'Here I go, by the name of Bill!' crowed the weathercock exultantly.
Starting point is 04:11:16 By the name of Bill!' "'Grandpaugh winked at Percy Veer, and Percy Veer winked back. "'Isn't he ridiculous?' whispered the forgetful poet merrily. "'But then we're all ridiculous in spots. "'His eyes rest at a moment on Grandpa's game leg. "'Yes,' continued Percy Veer with a droll nod. "'Everything when you come to think of it is simply tenubious. "'Why do we call ourselves an army prey when we might just
Starting point is 04:11:50 as well call ourselves a footy. Have we not as many feet as arms? Why do we say good day on a rainy morning, and one thing at a time, one thing at a time, objected the old soldier testily. Aren't you afraid you'll strain your brain, young man? I think and think both late and early, for thinking makes the brain grow curly, chuckled the irrepressible poet, at which grandpa beats such a tattoo upon his drum that the next verses were quite drowned out. But as soon as Grandpa stopped drumming, Percy burst out again. I met a spick and spaniard once. He was so spick and span. He even had his toes curled up. Believe me, if you...
Starting point is 04:12:38 If you... I can believe anything, Mr. Fear, said Grandpa grimly. Then try this, roared the forgetful poet, waving his arms. if fifty boats and fifty crews were gathered in a group why wouldn't it be proper sir to call the crews a coop admit old dear that this is clear as clear as clear as soup groaned grandpa in spite of himself vegetable soup he added bitterly and reaching in his pocket jerked out the wizard's medicine what are you doing asked percy curiously as he raised ran its finger hurriedly down the green label. "'Looking for a cure,' said the old soldier, raising his eyebrows significantly.
Starting point is 04:13:30 But there was no cure for forgetful poetry on the green label, so with a sigh, Grandpa returned the bottle to his pocket. "'What can't be cured must be endured,' said the old soldier, glumly, and, cursing up his lips, he began to whistle a sad tune. Dorothy and Tatters exchanged amused glances, and Ertha, who had been skipping beside Persevere, touched him on the arm. "'Is the princess of perhaps city pretty?' asked the little flower fairy timidly. She could not bear to think of Tatters marrying an ugly princess. "'I should guess—Murcy, yes. I should say, April—' Trouble ahead, trouble ahead!' crowed Bill.
Starting point is 04:14:18 before anyone could finish the verse. Just then a turn in the lane brought them plump into a huge fenced-in park. The fence was much too high to climb and stretched as far on either side as they could see. I never saw this place before, said Dorothy, peering curiously between the bars, but maybe if we knock on the gate someone will let us in.
Starting point is 04:14:43 Then we can march through and out the other side. Here's the gate, called Percy Veer, who had run a little ways to the right, and here's the sign. Play, announced the sign over the gate. All work on these grounds forbidden. Just below was a smaller sign. No trespassing. Well, we don't want to trespass. We want to just pass through, Chardle the forgetful poet, and before anyone could stop him he had hammered hard upon a
Starting point is 04:15:16 the gates. Immediately loud roars of laughter sounded all through the park. Footsteps scurried over the lawn to the next instant the gayest company that Dorothy ever had seen came crowding forward. Pierettes and Pieroos, hundreds of them. The girls in full skirted frocks with tall saucy caps. The men in pantaloon suits and frills. While they smiled and waved through the bars, the King of of play, who looked, as Dorothy told Ospa afterwards, exactly like a court jester, the king himself swung open the gates, and with a low bow invited them to enter. So of course they did. And before Grandpa could give the order to break ranks or fall out, or even say hello,
Starting point is 04:16:05 the playfellows had fallen upon his army and simply borne them away. Only Bill escaped, and nervously he hovered over his friends. determining if necessary to drop on the heads of this exuberant company. Wait, stop, halt, puffed the old soldier, who was being dragged toward a miracle round by five of the mischievous pierrettes. Dorothy and Percy Veer were being rushed as unceremoniously to the swings, for a dozen of the pieroes were begging Ertha for a dance. Tatters, holding his father's head high over his own,
Starting point is 04:16:45 was hustled off to a high wooden slide, and to nothing that any of them said would the playfellows pay the slightest attention. Indeed, there was so much noise and confusion they could not have heard if they had tried. Bands played and fountains played, and the playfellows played, and the creak of the swings and the squeak of the merry-go-rounds,
Starting point is 04:17:09 and the roars of the delighted pierreths and pieros as they hustled their visitors from one amusement to another were enough to deafen a gate-post. Toto, after one shocked glance at the boisterous company, scampered off and hit himself in a button-bush, where he watched anxiously for a chance to escape. Poor Bill, trying to keep all the company in view at once, flew in dizzying circles over the park,
Starting point is 04:17:35 almost cross-eyed with the strain. After his sixteenth merry-round, Grandpa gave up trying to explain, and, staggering over to a soap-bubble fountain, fell in. But the playfellows quickly pulled him out, and insisted upon his joining in a game of tag. The only bright spot in the whole dreadful experience was the finding of a bubble-pipe,
Starting point is 04:18:00 which Grandpa hastily picked from his bush and thrust into his pocket. Percy and Dorothy fared no better. "'This is worse than washing!' groaned the forgetful poet as a wild company of pierrets, drag them round and round the mowberry bush. Play, play, play, shouted King capers,
Starting point is 04:18:22 dashing from group to group and banging the company right and left with his belled and beribboned scepter. Play, play, play! I never knew fun with such hard work, panted tatters to Bill, who was circling immediately above his head. The poor prince was black and blue all of,
Starting point is 04:18:41 over from sliding down the slides, but every time he objected, the playfellows would pull him to the top and scream with merriment as he came sliding down again. There were too many heads to fall on, and Bill, powerless to help, screamed his rage and indignation at the mannerless crowd. There was much to be seen and marveled at in the playgrounds, but as the company agreed later, Playing when you want to play and being forced to play are two quite different things, so that the balloon vines, top trees, and checker bushes were almost unnoticed. Indeed, all that any of them could think of was getting away.
Starting point is 04:19:27 Ertha was the first to make her escape. The little flower fairy had been treated so gently and considerately by Grandpa and Tatters since her coming to life in the enchanted garden, that she did not know what to make of the rude manners of the playfellows. When they began snatching flowers from her hair and pulling her roughly from place to place, her violet eyes widened with terror and dismay. Watching her opportunity, she sprang away from them
Starting point is 04:19:57 and sped like the wind across the gardens. Now the runner does not exist who can outdistance a fairy, so it was not long before Ertha left her tormentors behind. And better still, the little flower fairy had run directly into a wicked gate leading out of the playgrounds. Opening the gate she slipped through and then, because she was still frightened, she kept running and running till she was as lost as one raindrop in a thunder shower. There is no telling how long the others would have been forced to endure the teasing of the playfellows.
Starting point is 04:20:34 if a gong had not sounded from a distant part of the grounds. Immediately, the whole company trooped off, and without waiting to find out the meaning of the bell, Grandpa's army rushed to the nearest exits. Oh, I'm done for, gasped Persevere, rolling under a tree. Let me curl up like a pretzel and bake, I mean die. Toto, who had followed close upon the heels of the harassed company, curled up beside him.
Starting point is 04:21:03 "'But where's Ertha?' cried Teteris, staring around wildly. "'Where's Grandpa?' "'She ran away long ago,' crowed Bill, flying over the fence. "'That way!' he pointed his claw toward the east. "'Oh, dear, oh dear, where is the old soldier?' "'Well, Dorothy, jumping up and down with impatience. "'We ought to get away from here quick.' "'I'll find him,' volunteered Bill.
Starting point is 04:21:31 wait here. Back went the devoted weathercock, and after flying over the entire playgrounds, he found Grandpa asleep under a checkerbush. Wake up, cried Bill, jumping up and down in his chest. The coast is clear, forward march by the name of Grandpa. The old soldier stirred uneasily,
Starting point is 04:21:54 rubbed his eyes, and then sprang up, but immediately tumbled down again, for while he slept, The wretched playfellows had run off with his game leg. What in time? Blustered the old soldier, picking himself up again. But being a man of action and seeing a crowd of pierrets emerging from a big hall not far away, Grandpa snatched up a long-handled croquet mellet,
Starting point is 04:22:21 and using it as a crutch, hobbled with all his might toward the exit pointed out by Bill. Here he was met by Percy Veer and Dorothy. and, after a startled look, each seized one of his arms in a way they ran as fast as five legs would take them. Percy carried the king's head and Dorothy the red umbrella. Tatters had dropped both when he discovered that Ertha was missing, and had dashed off in search of her. And it was not long before he picked up the trail, for every step of the flower maiden was marked out in daisies and forget-me-nots. Pay no attention to rock, sticks, brambles, and thorns. The Prince of Ragbad pushed on his only thought to find and comfort the sweet and lost
Starting point is 04:23:10 little fairy who had made the day so pleasant and the journey so happy for them. End of Chapter 18. Chapter 19 of Grandpa in Oz by Ruth Plumley Thompson. This Libre Vox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 19. Back to perhaps city. Seated on a great gold cushion on the lowest golden step of his palace, sat peer-haps, pointing his telescope with trembling fingers down maybe mountain.
Starting point is 04:23:47 It was the fourth day mentioned in Abrog's prophecy, the day the monster was to carry off the princess, and still no word had come from the forgetful poet. Between grief over the loss of his daughter and worry over person, severe, the poor old monarch had got no sleep at all and was so cross and snappy that the pages and courtiers went stealthily about on tiptoe, their fingers to their lips. "'Can't you make a verse, idiot?' roared the pier, looking at Pyrricks, who, with another telescope, set close beside him. Pyrricks moved up a couple of steps and sadly shook his head.
Starting point is 04:24:28 "'But look!' he stuttered in the next breath. someone is coming up the mountain. Is it the monster? Puffed Pier-haps anxiously. Has it two heads? Dropping his own telescope, he snatched the young nobleman's glass and glued his eye to the top. Then with the loud shriek of joy,
Starting point is 04:24:49 he tore open the gates and plunged recklessly down the steep mountainside. And certainly, the dear old fellow would have rolled to the bottom had not a sturdy oak intervened and put a stop to his plunging. It was the fortunateest place of all for a stop, because, right below the oak, climbing easily over the rocks and stones, was the lost princess herself, not quite herself, perhaps, but enough so for her father to recognize her. Holding tight to the oak, the old pier leaned down and seized her hand.
Starting point is 04:25:27 The next instant he had, her in his arms and was running up the mountain as recklessly as he had plunged down. But some good fairy kept him from tumbling. And once up the golden steps he brushed past gasping courtiers and pages and never stopped till he had reached the great throne room. Setting the princess on a green satin sofa, he gave her a hasty kiss and, without stopping to question her about her strange disappearances, locked the door and rushed from the room. Beads of perspiration stood out on his forehead. True, the princess was found,
Starting point is 04:26:08 but she certainly was changed, and, worse still, at any moment the monster might appear and carry her off. Thudding down the corridor, perhaps burst into the apartment of the tall high, Humpus of perhaps city. Humpus was also Chief Justice and attended to all state weddings. The peer was determined to have the princess marry Pyrricks at once and settle this monster matter once and for all. Explaining this as he went along, he dragged the scandalized justice to the steps to fetch the groom. But Perix had disappeared, and with him every single young and single nobleman in perhaps city. For though Pyrhap's had run quickly with his daughter in his arms, he had not run quickly enough, and word of the mysterious change in the princess had already spread over the city.
Starting point is 04:27:05 She is bewitched, Perix had whispered to the others in a panic, and, feeling in his bones that Peerhapes would insist upon him marrying her anyway, the faint-hearted youth had hidden himself in a rain-barrel, and the other young nobleman, equally alarmed, had run to the darkest cellar in the castle. Hopping on one foot and then on the other, Peer-hapes-capped, called each one by name, but there was no response. And sinking down upon the golden steps, the poor king wept with rage and discouragement, but the Lord High Humphus had been staring down the mountain for signs of the monster, and now he plucked the pier sharply by the sleeve.
Starting point is 04:27:50 Look! hissed the Chief Justice, every curl in his white wig fluttering with excitement, look! upon the great gate of the city was a weary, travel-stained young stranger. It was the Prince of Ragbad, for the flower trail had led him straight to the foot of Maybe Mountain. There he had lost his way, for Maybe Mountain is covered with wildflowers of every description, so that it was impossible to trace further the footsteps of the little fairy. But Tatters had kept on, nevertheless, determined if it was impossible to trace further the footsteps of the little fairy. But tatters had kept on, nevertheless, determined if necessary to search the whole mountain until he found her.
Starting point is 04:28:33 Naturally, he did not know he was so near the forgetful poet's old home. But when, after a hard climb, he reached the mountaintop and spied the splendid castle of Pierhaps, he decided to continue his search there and waited impatiently for someone to open the gates. He looks honest, sputtered the Chief Justice, raising his brow significantly, and in spite of his rags he is not unhandsome, suppose, to the rest of the sentence, Peer Haps paid no attention, for he had already flung down the steps and pulled tatters through
Starting point is 04:29:11 the gates. Grabbing him by the arm he hurried him up the steps and along the hall, before the startled prince could say Jack Robinson. The Lord High Humphus, straightening his wig, had dashed after them, and while Peerhap's unlocked the door of the throne room, he held tatters tightly by the hand. "'What's the matter?' demanded the astonished youth. He was exhausted and out of breath from his scramble up the mountain. "'What's the matter? I'm looking for a lost fairy. Have you seen anything of her?'
Starting point is 04:29:44 But instead of answering, the chief justice put his fingers to his lips and drew the young man into the throne room itself. There was a confused mumble of words to which tattered who still was too weary and breathless to argue paid small attention. He nodded absently to some questions of the white-wig dignitary, and the next minute was being crushed in the embrace of the singularly fat old gentleman who had dragged him up the steps. "'You have saved us!' cried Pyrhap's, tears of joy zigzagging down his cheek. "'My son, my son, how can I ever repay you?'
Starting point is 04:30:25 "'San? The Prince of Ragbad sprang back aghast. "'Congoled the Chief Justice, clapping Tatters on the back. "'On what?' gasped the bewildered young prince, whirling round. "'On your marriage!' The Chief Justice made a deep bow toward the cloaked figure, whom Tatters had not seen until now. "'My marriage?'
Starting point is 04:30:52 The distracted youth clapped one hand to his head, and the other to his heart, and fell backwards upon a page who had just run in to announce visitors. But before the page could announce them, Grandpa, Percy Veer, Dorothy and Toto burst into the throne room. It had not been long before they too had picked up the flower trail of Ertha, and later the footprints of Tatters himself. You can imagine the delight of the forgetful poet to find himself once more on, unfamiliar ground. It was a hard pull-up for the old soldier had but one leg to climb with, but they had finally reached the top of the mountain and, waving aside courtiers and servants, they had
Starting point is 04:31:38 hurried immediately to the throne room. "'Have you seen anything of a little fairy?' puffed all three together. And then, seeing Tatters, apparently having a fit in the arms of a page, they stopped short. Why tatters? Whatever's the matter? Dorothy dropped the red umbrella and ran over to the Prince of Ragbad. Matter? Choked the poor prince, tears streaming down his cheeks.
Starting point is 04:32:06 Matter? I'm married to—I don't know whom. That's what's the matter? And before Dorothy could make head or tale of his story, the forgetful poet and perhaps had rushed at each other with such an outpouring of a and greetings, such hugs and claps upon the back, that nothing else could be heard at all. This is worse than a battle, groaned the old soldier, bracing himself against the table. It's an outrage! An utter outrage! Pick me up, do you hear?
Starting point is 04:32:43 The wig of the Chief Justice rose into the air and turned around three times. The voice has certainly come from a pink bag at his face. feet, for the forgetful poet in his excitement at seeing the old pier had carelessly dropped Fumbo's head. Pale with terror the high humpus fled from the throne-room, and it was just as well, for there was noise and confusion enough without him. As no one else heard Fumbo, he had to stay where he was. "'But the princess!' cried Persevere, extricating himself at last from the pier's embraces.
Starting point is 04:33:21 I could not find her, but all these people are going to help and— Don't worry about that, beamed Pierre Haps, waving toward the quiet little figure. She is not only found, but married. Now let the monster appear if he dare. This young man has saved the day. Do you mean to say you are married? roared Grandpa, thumping on the table with his fist and glaring over a matters.
Starting point is 04:33:52 Why didn't you wait for us? Where's Eartha? Where's the princess? Why is she all covered up like this? I insist upon seeing the princess." One minute, one minute! begged Peerhap, stepping between Grandpa and the cloaked figure. My daughter is bewitched just now and cannot be seen, but I'm sure the spell can be broken.
Starting point is 04:34:15 And then— And you've married a bewitched princess? With another angry glance at Prylance at Permanence. Tatters, Grandpa bit off a piece of his bubble pipe and sank heavily into a pink armchair. Dorothy had been trying her best to unravel the strange mix-up and now stepped forward. Let Tatters tell what happened, said the little princess, stamping her foot imperiously. It wasn't his fault, Grandpa. She spoke with such firmness that perhaps fairly gasped.
Starting point is 04:34:47 Then, stealing a second glance and recognizing her instant, as a princess royal of Oz. He motioned for Tatters to speak. So the Prince of Ragbad rose up, and in breathless sentences explained how he had been seized at the gate of the city and tricked into marrying the princess. But isn't that what you were going to do anyway? asked Percy Veer when the prince had finished. Weren't you looking for a princess and a fortune when I met you?
Starting point is 04:35:19 And didn't we all decide to hunt the Princess? of perhaps city? Well, here she is. And there you are. The only difference is that you have married her a little sooner than you intended, and saved her from an unknown and dreadful monster. Nothing so terrible about that. My hat! Percy there smiled coaxingly at the prince, and encouragingly at peer haps, for he did not like to see any of his friends unhappy. But I was only going to rescue her, wailed Tatters. The difference is that we haven't seen the princess, putting Grandpa more mildly. We'd save anybody from a monster.
Starting point is 04:36:02 But don't you think, Mr. Beer? It was unfair to marry Tatters to a princess he'd never even seen. Idiot! screamed a harsh voice. Whirling around the startle company, saw a bent, and dreadful old man standing just inside the long window. Idiot! He shrieked again, pointing a long, trembling finger at Pier Haps.
Starting point is 04:36:29 You have married your daughter to a monster. It's Abrog! gasped Persevere, clutching Dorothy's hand. Monster, roared Grandpa, and, hopping over to the prophet, he seized him by the beard. How dare you call Tattraz-A-Ras-E. a monster. I'll fight you, puffed the old soldier furiously. Jerking away, Abrog leaned down, picked up Fumbo's head, and set it upon Tatter's shoulders. See? he screamed wildly. You have married your daughter to a monster with two heads. And as Pia, who knew nothing of Tatter's story, fell back aghast, Fumbo stuck his head out of the bag,
Starting point is 04:37:17 and began scolding everyone in the room. In the uproar that followed, and while Percy, Dorothy, and Grandpa, were trying all at once to explain things to the old peer, the prophet himself began to move stealthily toward the princess. Only Tatter saw this. Placing his father's head carefully on the table, he reached out, and, just as Abrog reached her,
Starting point is 04:37:43 the prince seized him roughly by the collar. but he was not quick enough. Abrog had already snatched away the cloak, and there, trembling and sorrowful, stood the princess of perhaps city herself. Tatters loosed his hold upon the prophet. "'Eurtha!' cried the overwrought young bridegroom, and took the frightened little fairy in his arms. End of Chapter 19.
Starting point is 04:38:17 Chapter 20 of Grandpa in Oz by Ruth. Plumley Thompson. This Librivox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 20. The Prophet Confesses You can well imagine the surprise of Grandpa and his little army. To discover that the flower maiden whom they had been loving all this while was really the lost princess.
Starting point is 04:38:43 How the story ever would have been straightened out had it not been for Dorothy, I have no idea. Why didn't you tell us it was Ertha? shouted Grandpa, shaking his finger indignantly at Pierhaps. And who is Ertha? Gasp the astonished old monarch, banning himself with his crown, for he was in such a state by this time that he hardly knew what he was doing. My daughter's name is pretty good, isn't it, my dear?
Starting point is 04:39:13 The little flower fairy shook her head solemnly. My name is Ertha. She insisted softly. Isn't it tatters? She's bewitched, groaned the king. She's bewishing, corrected Grandpa. Stop, stop, said Dorothy. We'll never get things straightened out this way.
Starting point is 04:39:34 Everybody sit down and quick, quick catch that prophet. Abrog had been sly edging toward the door, but the forgetful poet with a quick-bound brought him back. Now then, said Dorothy, when they were all, seated. I believe Abrog is at the bottom of the whole business. Let's make him tell. Did you bewitch this princess? She demanded sternly. Abrog only mumbled and scowled and refused to speak a word. Better answer this young lady, puffed perhaps warningly. She is a princess of Oz and can have you well punished. Speak up, you old villain, shouted Grandpa, waving his sword over
Starting point is 04:40:16 the prophet's head. But Abrog, stood still and stubbornly refused to say a word until the old soldier suddenly bethought himself of the wizard's medicine. Maybe there's a cure for the tongue-tide on this, muttered Grandpa. Taking out the bottle, he began to scan the green label. At the first sight of the medicine a dreadful change came over the prophet. He turned sickly green and began to tremble violently. Give me that bottle.
Starting point is 04:40:48 give me that bottle, and I will tell all,' he panted, trying desperately to snatch it from Grandpa. "'Don't you do it!' cried the Prince of Ragbad. "'Why, Grandpa, I believe—I believe this is the wizard himself.' "'But it says Gorba,' muttered the old soldier, holding the bottle high above his head. "'Don't you remember?' "'Gorba!' exclaimed Dorothy, writing the word with her finger in the air. Why, Gorba is Ab-Brog-spelled backwards.
Starting point is 04:41:22 Ab-Brog and Gorba, shrieked Persevere, bounding to his feet. The poet instantly broke into verse in his customary style. Ab-Brog and Gorba are one and the same, a prophet and wizard wrapped up in one—one—one name, finished Peerhaps, almost tumbling from his throne. This is the most exciting story I ever was in, Weiss the head of Fumbo from its place on the table. The prophet had fairly crumbled up at Dorothy's discovery, and seeing that further resistance was useless, he wind out the whole of his story. Determined to save pretty good from the monster and marry her himself,
Starting point is 04:42:08 he had decided to change her to mud, for a princess's ugliest mud, even a monster would not marry, explained the old villain tearfully. So, for this purpose, he had carried her to the hidden garden, where all his magic appliances were kept. But so sweet, lovely, and good was the little princess of perhaps city, that the evil spell of the wizard, instead of changing her to a muddy image, as Abrog intended, had turned her into a bewitching little flower fairy. disappointed at the way his magic had worked.
Starting point is 04:42:46 Abrog had nevertheless resolved to keep her under the spell until after the day of the prophecy, and then change her back to her own self and marry her at once. But when he returned to the garden, he found her gone, and he had hurried as fast as he could back to Perhaps City, how he had been robbed of his magic medicine on the first day he bewitched Ertha, and how Ertha herself had been released by her. tatters and Grandpa, we know.
Starting point is 04:43:15 But what about this monster? panted the old soldier as Abrog finished speaking and began uncomfortably shuffling his feet on the golden floor. Let me see that prophecy, demanded Dorothy. The unwilling prophet drew the crumpled parchment from his sleeve. A youth wrapped in the skin of an old bear, a youth with two heads upon his shoulders and carrying a red umbrella, will marry the princess of perhaps city, read Dorothy in some surprise.
Starting point is 04:43:48 Why, that's tatters, cried the little girl in delight. Of course it is, declared Grandpa. Why, there isn't any monster at all, whoever said there was. He stared around triumphantly, and, perhaps, pointed angrily at the old prophet, who was hopping about in a vain attempt to escape. What shall we do to him? asked the forgetful poet, seizing Abrog by the collar and holding him, kicking and struggling in the air. Some said this and some said that,
Starting point is 04:44:19 but it was Grandpa running his finger quickly down the trusty green label, who finally decided the matter. Far, listed under sorcery, he found a sure cure for Abrog. Break a saucer of the mixture over the sorcerer's head, directed the bottle severely. So a saucer was quickly brought, and paying no attention to the squalls and scrubs, of the scheming old prophet, Grandpa broke it over his head. At the first crack of the china, Abrog disappeared, and as everyone jumped with surprise, a little brown mouse scurried across the room.
Starting point is 04:44:59 "'Well, he won't do much harm in that shape,' sighed Grandpa, as Toto went sniffing all around the throne under which the mouse had disappeared. "'But my daughter!' cried Pier Hap suddenly. Who will unbewitch the princess now?' The company exchanged dismayed glances, realizing too late that they should have forced Abrog to disinchant Ertha before they punished him. End of Chapter 20.
Starting point is 04:45:35 Chapter 21 of Grandpa in Oz by Ruth Plumley Thompson. This Librivox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 21, Ertha is transformed. You are probably wondering why Ertha herself had stood so silently during all the commotion in the castle. Well, in the first place, the little flower fairy was so frightened by her experiences with the playfellows that her only thought had been of escape. With the prophet's spell had gone all memory of her former existence as princess of perhaps city, and when perhaps had found her on Maybe Mountain and hurried her back to the castle,
Starting point is 04:46:16 She was more frightened still. Not knowing where she was nor what to do, the confused little fairy had done nothing at all. Trembling under the big cloak, she had stood and waited for something terrible to happen, and when at last she did hear the familiar voices of Tatters and Grandpa, and thought that they were angry at her, she trembled more than ever, and was afraid to speak or move at all. But now that the mystery was about cleared up, Ertha was so happy just to be with the Prince of Ragbad again that she paid small attention to the excitement about her enchantment. Neither did tatters, for the lovely little flower fairy suited him exactly as she was.
Starting point is 04:47:03 While they were whispering cozily about Ragbad and other terribly important matters, Dorothy and Grandpa got their heads together and solved the last of the adventurers' problem. For Dorothy, bending excitedly over Grandpa's shoulder, discovered a cure for enchantment on the wizard's bottle. Three drops on the head, advised the Green Label. Grandpa squinted anxiously into the bottle, for he had poured nearly the whole contents over Abrog. Is there enough?
Starting point is 04:47:35 whispered Dorothy. Grandpa, shaking his head doubtfully, tiptoed over to Ertha, and, while Persevere, Pier Haps and Dorothy watched with breathless interest. He shook the bottle over her head, one drop, two drops, and after a violent shake, three fell upon the soft fern hair of the little fairy. As the third drop fell, the little flower girl melted away before their eyes into a rainbow mist of lovely colors. Out of the mist stepped a no less lovely princess, a princess so like Ertha that Grandpa blinked
Starting point is 04:48:17 and Tatters could hardly believe his senses, though no longer a little lady of flowers. Ertha still carried the flower's lovely colors and the flower's lovely fragrance in her exquisite little person. Violets were no bluer than Earth's eyes. Roses never pinker than Earth's cheeks, apple blossoms no fairer than Earth's Earth's skin. Trembling with relief and happiness, Pierre-Hap's clasped her in his arms,
Starting point is 04:48:47 and, with the little princess on his knee, insisted on hearing every word of the long, strange story. And about time it was that he did, for all this while he had been trying to explain to himself the presence of Fumbo's head. But when Grandpa had told their adventures from beginning to end, perhaps welcomed the king of Ragbad as heartily as if his whole body were present, and they all sat down to talk things over.
Starting point is 04:49:17 Just as Grandpa was telling again exactly how they had discovered Ertha, there was a loud screech in the corridor, and in flew the brave weathercock whom no one had missed in the terrible commotion. Here I come by the name of Bill, crowed the excited bird, and, flying over to Grandpa, he proudly dropped Grandpa's lost leg into his lap. For while the others had hurried up the mountain, Bill had flown back to the playground and snatched Grandpa's leg away from King Capers and two of the mischievous Pierrettes, who were deeply engrossed in the game of Scrum.
Starting point is 04:49:58 It had taken Bill some time, but here at last he was, and, joyfully buckling on his leg, Grandpa danced a jubly. on the spot. For now his happiness was complete, perhaps having already given him a pipe. Everyone made such a fuss over bill that he felt fully repaid for his trouble. Indeed, it was hard to tell who of all that merry company was the merriest. The forgetful poet at finding himself safely home? Perhaps at finding his daughter? Grandpa at the recovery of his leg? Ertha and Tatters are Dorothy and Toto at the splendid way the adventure had turned out. Chuckling with the light,
Starting point is 04:50:40 Pier Haps ran off to fetch his yellow hen, for he was determined that Tatters should have the fortune, a reward of a thousand gold bricks. "'Is that the fortune?' asked Bill indignantly, as he placed the yellow hen in Towers' arms. "'Why, it's nothing but a bunch of feathers.' "'Don't you crow over me!' screeched the yellow hen, and flying up, she laid a gold brick upon the table, much to the
Starting point is 04:51:08 astonishment of Bill and the delight of the others. While they still were laughing, there was a blinding flash, and the yellow hen, Bill, Toto, perhaps, and every other single person in the throne room disappeared. Yes, sir, they were gone, as gone as a box of last year's Christmas candy. End of Chapter 21. Chapter 22 of Grandpa in Oz by Ruth Plumley Thompson. This Libre Vox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 22, Rejoicing in Ragbad. Gone, you say? But where?
Starting point is 04:51:56 I might as well tell you at once that they were gone from perhaps city because they already were in Ragbad standing in a surprised group in the shabby ballroom of the Red Castle. For Ozma, looking that morning in the magic picture to see why Dorothy had not returned to the Emerald City, had seen the little girl and her companions and all day had been following their adventures. With the aid of a powerful radio belonging to the Wizard of Oz,
Starting point is 04:52:27 she had heard the whole story Grandpa had just related and determined by her magic belt to send them all safely home. They've had enough adventures, smiled this wise little ruler, and because she knew Dorothy, the forgetful poet, and perhaps would want to meet Mr. So-and-so and the rest of Tatters' friends, she had sent them along to. But, as to all, she had, aided by the wizard's magic, wished Fumbo's head firmly and permanently back upon his body. When Pudge and Mrs. So-and-so aroused by all the confusion, came running, and so-and-so, came running,
Starting point is 04:53:06 to see what was the matter. Imagine their surprise, to find Fumbo in full possession of his head, welcoming Pyrhap's Dorothy and the forgetful poet to Ragbad. And now what a flurry of introductions and explanations, what hugs, kisses, and congratulations all round. Mr. So-and-so could hardly believe her good fortune and had to kiss Tatters every few minutes to see if he were really there, and Ertha every few minutes to see if she really were true. After she had heard the whole story from beginning to end, she sent Pudge off to summon the 24 rustic laborers and rushed off to prepare such a feast as the old red castle had not known since her own wedding day. A feast with six kinds of ice cream and seven
Starting point is 04:53:58 kinds of cake and two helpings of turkey for everyone. Far into the night the merry-making lasted. Far after the feast itself, the old soldier insisted that they danced the rag-bag quadrille. "'Oh, let's!' cried the princess, remembering how she and Tatters had danced upon the iceberg. So lines were quickly formed on each side of the ballroom. "'Come along, Monster!' cried Ertha, leading off merrily with the prince, as Grandpa burst into the spirited music of the dance. dance.
Starting point is 04:54:33 Mrs. So-and-so and Pier Haps came next, then the forgetful poet and Dorothy, then Fumbo and Pudge, the twenty-four rustic laborers filling in as they were needed. Not until the loud crows of Bill announcing the rising of the sun did the party break up, and only then after a hundred rousing cheers had been given for the Prince and Princess of Ragbad. The luncheon next day, Dorothy and Toto, Pier Haps, and the forgetful poet were magically transported back home by thoughtful little Osma, but before she left, Dorothy made them promise to visit her in the Emerald City, and I have no doubt that they will.
Starting point is 04:55:18 When Dorothy reached home, the first person to greet her was her old friend the Ten Woodman smiling as he always smiles. From that day on, let me say Ragbad was a changed kingdom. For, as the twenty-four rustic laborers sold the gold bricks as fast as they were laid by the yellow hen, there was plenty of money to buy supplies and care for the linens and lawns. Grandpa and Tatters had record crops, and soon everything was so prosperous that Mr. So-and-so took off her thimble, put on her crown, and became Queen of Ragbad again. As for Tatters and Ertha, the last I heard of them, they were happy as the days were long, as happy as only the dear folk in Oz know how to be.
Starting point is 04:56:06 So that is all of the story of the princess who was once a fairy, the poet who forgot his words, the old soldier who was always a hero, and the prince who went in search of his father's head. End of Chapter 22. End of Grandpa in Oz by Ruth Plumley Thompson

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