Classic Audiobook Collection - Lone Star Planet by H. Beam Piper ~ Full Audiobook [scifi]
Episode Date: January 18, 2023Lone Star Planet by H. Beam Piper audiobook. Genre: scifi Ambassador Stephen Silk expects routine interstellar diplomacy until he is assigned to New Texas, a rough-and-ready colony world settled larg...ely by Texans who are fiercely allergic to outside authority. The Solar League wants New Texas in line, but Silk arrives to find his predecessor, Ambassador Silas Cumshaw, has been murdered - and the locals seem to consider that sort of political housecleaning not only normal, but healthy. While Silk quietly tries to untangle who wanted Cumshaw dead and why, he is also tasked with selling an unpopular message: a dangerous alien power, the z'Srauff, may be closing in, and New Texas might need allies whether it likes it or not. Between cattle the size of boxcars, larger-than-life ranchers, and a political culture built on radical local freedom, Silk must survive long enough to do his job - and figure out whether the biggest threat is off-world, or buried in the planet's own proud, trigger-happy traditions. Part frontier romp, part murder investigation, and part sharp satire of bureaucracy, Lone Star Planet pokes at power, patriotism, and the price of independence. For ad-free listening try our premium subscription Chapters (Approximate) (00:00:00) Chapter 01 (00:14:19) Chapter 02 (00:36:12) Chapter 03 (00:56:32) Chapter 04 (01:18:13) Chapter 05 (01:34:25) Chapter 06 (01:58:20) Chapter 07 (02:16:28) Chapter 08 (02:24:35) Chapter 09 (02:43:41) Chapter 10 (03:07:49) Chapter 11 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Lone Star Planet by H. Beam Piper and John J. McGuire.
Chapter 1
They started giving me the business as soon as I came through the door into the Secretary's outer office.
There was Ethel Kwong Lee, the Secretary's receptionist at her desk.
There was Cortland Staines, the Assistant Secretary to the Undersecretary for Economic Penetration,
and Norman Gazzarin from Protocol, and Toby Lauder from Humanoid People's
People's Affairs, and Raul Chabier, and Hans Montefel, and Olga Resnick.
It was a wonder there weren't more of them watching the condemned man's march to the gibbet.
The word that the secretary had called me in must have gotten all over the department since the
offices had opened.
Ah, Mr. Machiavelli, I presume.
Ethel kicked it off.
Machiavelli, Jr., Olga picked up the ball.
At least that's the way he signs it.
God's gift to the consular service and the consular services gift to policy planning,
Kazarin added.
Take it easy, folks.
These hooligan diplomats would as soon shoot you as look at you, Montefel warned.
Be sure and tell the secretary that your friends all want important posts in the Galactic Empire, Olga added.
Well, I'm glad some of you could read it, I fired back.
Maybe even a few of you understood what it was all about.
Don't worry, Silk, Gazarin told me.
Secretary Glopal understands what it's all about.
All too well you'll find.
A buzzer sounded gently on Ethel Kwong Lee's desk.
She snatched up the handphone and whispered into it.
A deathly silence filled the room while she listened, whispered some more, then hung it up.
They were all staring at me.
Secretary Glopal is ready to see you, Mr. Steepin's Silk, she said.
This way, please.
As I started across the room,
Staines began drumming on the top of the desk with his fingers,
the slow reiterated rhythm to which a man marches to a military execution.
A cigarette?
Lauder inquired tonelessly.
A glass of rum?
There were three men in the Secretary of State's private office.
Klo Pahl Singh, the secretary, dark-faced, gray-haired, slender and elegant,
meeting me halfway to his desk.
Another slender man in black with a silver-threaded black neck scarf.
Rudolph Klung, the secretary of the Department of Aggression,
and a huge, gross-bodied man with a baby-face and opaque black eyes.
When I saw him, I really began to get frightened.
The fat man was Natalenko, the security coordinator.
Good morning, Mr. Silk, Secretary Gopal, greeted me, his hand extended.
Gentlemen, Mr. Stephen Silk, about whom we were speaking.
This way, Mr. Silk, if you please.
There was a low coffee table at the rear of the office and four easy chairs around it.
On the round brass tabletop were cups and saucers, a coffee urn, cigarettes,
and a copy of the current issue of the Galactic Statesman's Journal, open at the article entitled
Probable Future Courses of Solar League Diplomacy by somebody who had signed himself Machiavelli Jr.
I was beginning to wish that the pseudonymous Machiavelli Jr. had never been born,
or at least it stayed on the State of Virgo,
and been a wineberry planter as his father had wanted him to be.
As I sat down and accepted a cup of coffee, I avoided looking at the periodical.
They were probably going to hang it around my neck before they shoved me out of the airlock.
Mr. Silk is, as you know, in our consular service, Gopal was saying to the others,
back on Luna rotation doing something in Mr. Halford's section,
he is the gentleman who did such a splendid job for us on Asha, Gamma Norma 3.
And as he has just demonstrated, he added, gesturing toward the statesman's journal on the Benares worktable,
he is a student both of the diplomacy of the past and the implications of our present policies.
A bit frank, clung commented dubiously.
But judicious! Not the lincoln squeaked.
In the high, Unicorn voice the case.
came so incongruously from his bulk.
He aired his singularly accurate predictions in a periodical that doesn't have a circulation
of more than a thousand copies outside his own department.
And I don't think the public semantic reactions to the terminology of imperialism is as bad
as you imagine.
They seem quite satisfied now with the change in the title of your department from defense
to aggression.
Well, we've gone into that, gentlemen, Gopal said.
if the article really makes trouble for us we can always disavow it there's no censorship of the journal and mr silk won't be around to draw fire on us here it comes i thought
that sounds pretty ominous doesn't it mr silk not the lincoln tittered happily like a ten-year-old who has just found a new beetle to pull the legs out of it's really not as bad as it sounds mr silk gopal hesitated
to reassure me. We are going to have to banish you for a while, but I dare say that won't be so bad.
The social life here on Luna has probably begun to Paul anyhow. So we're sending you to Capella
Four.
Capella Four, I repeated, trying to remember something about it.
Capella was a G-O-type, like Saul. That wouldn't be so bad.
New Texas, Clung helped me out.
Oh, God, no, I thought.
It happens that we need somebody of your sort on that planet, Mr. Silk, Gopal said.
Some of the trouble is in my department and some of it is in Mr. Clung's.
For that reason, perhaps it would be better if coordinator Natholinkgo explained it to you.
You know, I assume, our chief interest in New Texas, Natholinko asked.
I had some of it for breakfast, sir, I replied.
Super Cow.
Natalenko tittered again.
Yes, New Texas is the butchery shop of the galaxy.
In more ways than one, I'm afraid you'll find.
They just butchered one of our people there a short while ago, our ambassador, in fact.
That would be Silas Comshaw, and this was the first I'd heard about it.
I asked when it had happened.
A couple of months ago, we just heard about it last evening.
when the news came in on a freighter from there, which serves to point up something you stressed
in your article, the difficulties of trying to run a centralized democratic government on a gigantic
scale.
But we have another interest, which may be even more urgent than our need for new Texan meat.
You've heard, of course, of the Zisroff?
That was a statement, not a question.
Natalenko wasn't trying to insult me.
I knew who the Zsrof were.
I'd run into them here and there, one of the extra-solar-intelligent human-ard races,
who seemed to have been evolved from canine or canine-like ancestors instead of primates.
Most of them could speak basic English, but I never saw one who'd admit to understanding
more of our language than the 850-word basic vocabulary.
They occupied a half-dozen planets in a small star cluster about 40 light years beyond the
Capella system. They had developed normal space reaction drive ships before we came into contact
with him, and they had quickly picked up the hyperspace drive from us back in those days when the
Solar League was still playing missionaries of progress and trying to run a galaxy-wide point-four
program. In the past century, it had become almost impossible for anyone to get into their
star group, although Zsaf ships were orbiting in on every planet that the League has been.
settled or controlled. There was Zasroft traders and small merchants all over the galaxy.
And you never saw one of them without a camera. Their little meteor mining boats were everywhere,
and all of them carried more of the most modern radar and estrogational equipment than a meteor miner's
lifetime earnings would pay for. I also knew that they were one of the chief causes of
ulcers and premature gray hair at the Lee Capitol on Luna.
I'd done a little reading on the pre-spaceflight Terran history.
I had been impressed by the parallel between the present situation and one which had
culminated two and a half centuries before on the morning of 7 December 1941.
What? Natalinko inquired.
Do you think Machiavelli Jr. would do about the Zusroff?
We have a department of...
of aggression, I replied. Its mottoes are, stop trouble before it starts, and, if we have to fight,
let's do it on the other fellow's real estate. But this situation is just a little too delicate
for literal application of those principles. An unprovoked attack on the Zusrof, which set every other
non-human race in the galaxy against us. Would an attack by the Zusrof on New Texas constitute
just provocation?
It might.
New Texas is an independent planet.
Its people are descendants of immigrants from Terra
who wanted to get away from the rule of the Solar League.
We've been trying for half a century to persuade the New Texan
government to join the league.
We need their planet for both strategic and commercial reasons.
With the Zastroff for neighbors,
they need us as much at least as we need them.
The problem is to make them understand that."
I nodded again.
And an attack by the Zsroft would do that, too, sir, I added.
Natholinko tittered again.
You see, gentlemen, our Mr. Silk picks things up very handily, doesn't he?
He turned to Secretary of State, Gopal.
You take it from there, he invited.
Gopal Singh smiled benignly.
Well, that's it, Stephen, he said.
We need a man on New Texas who can get things done.
Three things, to be exact.
First, find out why poor Mr. Comshaw was murdered,
and what can be done about it to maintain our prestige
without alienating the New Texans.
Second, bring the government and people of New Texas
to a realization that they need the Solar League as much as we need them.
And third, forrest all,
expose the plans for the Zsorov invasion of New Texas."
"'Is that all now?' I thought.
"'He doesn't want a diplomat.
He wants a magician.'
"'And what?' I asked.
"'Will my official position be on New Texas, sir?
Or will I have one of any sort?'
"'Oh, yes, indeed, Mr. Silk.
Your official position will be that of Ambassador Plenipotentiary and Invoy Extraordinary.
That, I believe, is the only vacancy which exists in the diplomatic service on that planet.
At Dumbarton Oaks Diplomatic Academy, they haze the freshmen by making them sit on a one-legged stool
and balance a teacup and saucer on one knee while the upperclassmen pelt them with ping-pong balls.
Whoever invented that and the other similar forms of hazing was one of the great geniuses of the service.
So I sip my coffee, sat down the cup, took a puff from my cigarette, and then said,
"'I am deeply honored, Mr. Secretary. I trust I needn't go into any assurances that I will do
everything possible to justify your trust in me.'
"'I believe he will,' Mr. Secretary.
Natholinko piped in a manner that chilled my blood.
"'Yes, I believe so,' Gopal Singh said.
Now, Mr. Ambassador, there is a liner in orbit two thousand miles off Luna, which has been
held from blasting off for the last eight hours, waiting for you.
Don't bother packing more than a few things.
You can get everything you need aboard, or at New Austin, the planetary capital.
We have a man whom coordinator Natalinko has secured for us a native New Texan, Hottie Ringo, by name.
He'll act as your personal secretary.
He's aboard the ship, now.
You'll have to hurry, I'm afraid.
Well, bon voyage, Mr. Ambassador.
End of Chapter 1.
Chapter 2 of Lone Star Planet by H. Beam Piper and John J. McGuire.
This Librivox recording is in the public domain.
Chapter 2.
The Death Watch outside had grown to about 15 or 20.
They were all waiting in happy anticipation as I came out of,
of the secretary's office.
What did he do to you, Silk?
Cortland Staines asked, amusedly.
Demoted me, kicked me off the hooligan diplomats,
I said, glumly.
Demoted you from the counselor service?
Staines asked scornfully.
Impossible.
Yes, he demoted me to the cookie-pushers,
cleared down to Ambassador.
They got a terrific laugh.
I went out, wondering what's
sort of noises they'd make the next morning when the appointment's sheet was posted.
I gathered a few things together, mostly small personal items, and all the microfilms
that I could find on New Texas, then got aboard the Space Navy color that was waiting
to take me to the ship. It was a four-hour trip, and I put in the time going over my hastily
assembled microfilm library, and using a stentophone to dictate a reading list for the spaceship.
As I rolled up the stenophone tape, I wondered what sort of secretary they had given me,
and in passing why Natholenko's department had furnished him.
Hottie Ringo.
Queer name.
But in a galactic civilization you find all sorts of names and all sorts of people bearing them,
so I was prepared for anything.
And I found it.
I found him standing with the ship's captain inside the airlock,
when I boarded the big spherical space-lanner.
A tubby little man with shoulders and arms he had never developed doing secretarial work,
and a good-natured not particularly intelligent face.
See the happy moron.
He doesn't give a damn, I thought.
Then I took a second look at him.
He might be happy, but he wasn't a moron.
He just looked like one.
Natalenko's people often do.
did as one of their professional assets.
I also noticed that he had a bulge under his left armpit the size of an eleven-millimeter
army automatic.
He was, I'd been told, a native of New Texas.
I gathered after talking with him for a while, that he'd been away from his home planet for
over five years, and was glad to be going back, and especially glad that he was going
back under the protection of Solar League diplomatic immunity.
In fact, I rather got the impression that, without such protection, he wouldn't have been going back at all.
I made another discovery.
My personal secretary, it seemed, couldn't read stenotype.
I found that out when I gave him the tape I dictated aboard the cutter to transcribe for me.
Gosh, boss, I can't make anything out of this stuff, he confessed,
looking at the combination shorthand braille that my voice had put onto the tape.
Well, then, put it in a player and transcribe it by ear, I told him.
He didn't seem to realize that that could be done.
How did you come to be sent as my secretary if you can't do secretarial work I wanted to know?
He got out a bag of tobacco and a book of papers, and began rolling a cigarette with one hand.
Why, shucks, boss, nobody seemed to think I'd have to do this kind of work, he said.
I was just sent along to show you the way around New Texas,
and see you don't get into no trouble.
He got his handmade cigarette drawing
and hitched the scrap that went across his back and looped under his right arm.
A guy that don't know the way around can get into a lot of trouble on New Texas,
if you call getting killed trouble.
So he was a bodyguard, and I wondered what else he was.
One thing, it would take him 42 years to send a radio message back to Luna,
and I could keep track of any other messages he sent in letters are on tape by ships.
In the end, I transcribed my own tape and settled down to laying out my three-week study course
on my new post.
I found, however, that the whole thing could be learned in a few hours.
The rest of what I had was duplication, some of it contradictory, and it all boiled down to this.
Capella IV had been settled during the first wave of extrasolar colonization
after the fourth world or first interplanetary war, sometime around 2100.
The settlers had come from a place in North America called Texas, one of the old United States.
They had a lengthy history, independent republic admission to the United States,
secession from the United States, reconquest by the United States,
and general intransigence under the United States, the United Nations, and the Solar League.
When the laws of non-Einsteinian physics were discovered and the hyperspace drive was developed,
practically the entire population of Texas had taken to space to find a new home and independence from everybody.
They had found Capella 4, a terra-type planet with a slightly higher mean temperature,
a lower mass and lower gravitational field, about one-quarter water and three-quarters land surface
at a stage of evolutionary development,
approximately that of Terra during the late Pleiocene.
They also found Super Cow,
a big mammal looking like the unsuccessful attempt
of a hippopotamus to impersonate a doxon
and about the size of a nuclear steam locomotive.
On New Texas's plains, there were billions of them.
Their meat was fit for the gods of Olympus.
So New Texas had become the meat's supplier to the galaxy.
There was very little in any of the microfilm books about the politics of New Texas,
and such as it was, it was very scornful.
There were expressions as anarchy tempered by assassination and grotesque parody of democracy.
There would, I assumed, be more exact information in the material which had been shoved into
my hand just before boarding the cutter from Luna in a package labeled top secret
to be opened only in space after the first hyperjump.
There was also a big trunk that had been placed in my suite,
sealed and bearing the same instructions.
I got haughty out of the suite as soon as the ship had passed out of the normal
spacetime continuum, locked the door of my cabin, and opened the parcel.
It contained only two loose-leaf notebooks,
both labeled with the Solar League and department seals,
both adorned with a customary bloodthirsty threats against the unauthorized and the indiscreet.
They were numbered one and two.
One contained four pages.
On the first I read,
Final message of the first Solar League ambassador to New Texas, Andrew Jackson Hickok.
I agree with none of the so-called information about this planet on file with the State Department on Luna.
The people of New Texas are certainly not uncouth,
barbarians. Their manners and customs, while lively and unconventional, are most charming.
Their dress is graceful and practical, not grotesque. Their soft speech is pleasing to the ear.
Their flag is the original flag of the Republic of Texas. It is definitely not a barbaric
travesty of our own emblem. And the underlying premises of their political system should,
as far as possible, be incorporated into the organization of the Solar League.
Here, politics is an exciting and exacting game, in which only the true representative of all the people can survive.
Department addendum
After five years on New Texas, Andrew Jackson Hickok resigned, married a daughter of a local rancher, and became a natural life to citizen of that planet.
He is still active in politics there, often in opposition to scholarly policies.
That didn't sound too bad.
for the planet. I was even feeling cheerful when I turned to the next page, and...
Final message of the Second Solar League Ambassador to New Texas, Cyril Godwin's son.
Yes and no, perhaps and perhaps not. Pardon me, I agree with everything you say.
Yes and no. Perhaps and perhaps not. Pardon me. I agree... Department addendum.
After seven years on New Texas...
Ambassador Godwinson was recalled, a judge, hopelessly insane.
And then, final message of the third Solar League ambassador to New Texas, R. F. Gulles.
I find it very pleasant to inform you that when you are reading this, I will be dead.
Department addendum.
Committed suicide after six months on New Texas.
I turned to the last page cautiously, found.
Final message of the fourth Solar League ambassador to New Texas, Silas Kumshaw.
I came to this planet ten years ago as a man of pronounced and outspoken convictions.
I have managed to keep myself alive here by becoming an inoffensive nun entity.
If I continue in this course, it will be only at the cost of my self-respect.
Beginning tonight, I am going to state and maintain positive opinions
on the relation between this planet and the Solar League.
Department addendum.
Murdered at the home of Andrew J. Kiercock.
See page one.
And that was the end of the first notebook.
Nice, cheerful reading, complete, solid briefing.
I was frankly almost afraid to open the second notebook.
I hefted it cautiously at first saw that it contained only about as many pages as the first,
and that those pages were sealed with a band around them.
I took a quick peek, read the words on the band.
Before reading, opened the sealed trunk, which has been included with your luggage.
So I laid aside the book and dragged out the sealed trunk, hesitated, then opened it.
Nothing shocked me more than to find the trunk full of clothes.
There were four pairs of trousers, light blue, dark blue, gray and black,
with wide cuffs at the bottoms.
There were six or eight shirts,
their colors running the entire spectrum
in the most violent shades.
There were a couple of vests.
There were two pairs of short boots
with high heels and fancy leather working,
and a couple of hats with four-inch brems.
And there was a wide leather belt,
practically a leather corset.
I stared at the belt wondering
if I was really seeing what was in front of me.
Attached to the belt were a pair of pistols
in right and left-hand holsters.
The pistols were 7mm,
cropped-tata ultra-speed automatics,
and the holsters were the spring ejection
quick-draw holsters,
which were the secret of the State Department of Special Services.
This must be a mistake, I thought.
I'm an ambassador now,
and ambassadors never carry weapons.
The sanctity of an ambassador's person
not only made the carrying of weapons unnecessary
so that an armed ambassador was a contradiction of diplomatic terms,
but it would be an outrageous insult to the nation to which he had been accredited,
like taking a poison taster to a friendly dinner.
Maybe I was supposed to give the belt and the holsters to Hottiringo.
So I tore the sealed man off the second notebook and read through it.
I was to wear the local costume on New Texas.
That was something unusual, even in the hooligan diplomats.
We leaned over backward in wearing Taryn costume to distinguish ourselves from the people among whom we worked.
I was further advised to start wearing the high boots immediately, on shipboard, to accustom myself to the heels.
These I was informed were traditional.
They had served a useful purpose in the early days on Tarran, Texas, when all travel had been on horseback.
On horseless and mechanized New Texas, they were a useless but venerated part of the cultural heritage.
There were bits of advice about the hat and the trousers, which for some obscure reason were known as Levi's,
and I was informed, as an order, that I was to wear the belt and the pistols at all times outside the embassy itself.
That was all of the second notebook.
The two notebooks, plus my conversation with Gopal, Klung, and Nottingo, completed my briefing for my new post.
I slid off my shoes and pulled on a pair of boots.
They fitted perfectly.
Evidently, I had been tapped for this job as soon as word of Silas Comshaw's death had reached Luna,
and there must have been some fantastic hurrying to get my outfit ready.
I didn't like that any too well, and I liked the order to carry the pistols even less.
Not that I had any objection to carrying weapons, per se.
I had been born and raised on Theta Virgo 4, where the children aren't allowed outside the house
unattended until they've learned to shoot. But I did have a strenuous objection to being sent
virtually ignorant of local customs on a mission where I was ordered to commit deliberate
provocation of the local government, immediately on the heels of my predecessor's violent death.
The author of Probable Futureer Courses of Solar League diplomacy had recommended the use of provocation
to justify conquest.
If the new Texans murdered two Solar League ambassadors in a row,
nobody would blame the league for moving in with a space fleet and an army.
I was beginning to understand how Dr. Guillotine must have felt
when his neck was being shoved into his own invention.
I looked again at the notebooks, each marked in red,
familiarize yourself with contents and burn or disintegrate.
I'd have to do that, of course.
course. There were a few non-humans and a lot of non-league people aboard the ship. I couldn't let any
of them find out what we considered a full briefing for a new ambassador. So I wrapped them in the
original package and went down to the lower passenger zone, where I found the ship's third
officer. I told him that I had some secret diplomatic matter to be destroyed, and he took me to
the engine room. I shoved the package into one of the mass energy converters, and watched it resolve itself
into its constituent protons, neutrons, and electrons.
On the way back, I stopped at the ship's bar.
Hardy Ringo was there, wrapped up in, and I used the words literally,
a young lady from the out-of-baran system.
She was on her way home from one of the quickie divorce courts on Terra
and was celebrating her marital emancipation.
They were so entangled with each other that they didn't notice me.
When they left the bar, I slipped down.
after them until I saw them enter the lady's state room. That, of course, would have Hottie
immobilized, better word, located for a while, so I went back to our suite, picked the lock of
Hoddy's room, and allowed myself half an hour to search his luggage. All of his clothes were new,
but there were not a great many of them. Evidently, he was planning to re-outfit himself on New
Texas. There were a few odds and ends the kind any man with a real home planet will hold on to
in the luggage. He had another 11-millimeter pistol made by consolidated Martian metalworks,
mate to the one he was carrying in a shoulder holster, and a wide two-holster belt like the one
furnished me, but quite old. I greeted the sight and the meaning of the old holsters with joy.
They weren't the State Department's special services type. That meant that Hottie was just
one of Natalinko's run-of-the-gallows cutthroats, not important enough to be issued.
the secret equipment.
But I was a little worried over what I found hidden in the lining of one of his bags,
a letter addressed to Space Commander Lucius C. Stonehenge,
aggression department attaché, New Austin Embassy.
I didn't have either the time or the equipment to open it,
but knowing our various departments, I tried to reassure myself with a thought that
it was only a letter of credence with a real message to be delivered orally.
About the real message, I had no doubts.
Arrange the murder of Ambassador Stephen Silk in such a way that it looks like another new Texan job.
Starting that evening, or what passed for evening, aboard a ship in hyperspace,
Hottie and I began a positively epical binge together.
I had it figured this way.
As long as we were on board ship, I was perfectly safe.
On the ship, in fact, Hottie would definitely have given his life to save mine.
I'd have to be killed on New Texas to give Klung's boys their excuse for moving in.
And there was always the chance, with no chance too slender for me to ignore,
that I might be able to get Hoddy drunk enough to talk,
yet still be sober enough myself to remember what he said.
Exact times, details, faces, names came to me through a sort of hazy blur,
as Hoddy and I drank something he called Super Bourbon,
a New Texas drink that Bourbon County, Kentucky would never have recognized.
They had no corn on New Texas.
This stuff was made out of something called Super Yams.
There were at least two things I got out of the binge.
First, I learned to slug down the national drink without batting an eye.
Second, I learned to control my expression as I uncovered the fact that everything on New Texas was super something.
I was also cautious enough before we really got started to lay my belt and guns with the purser.
I didn't want Hoddy poking around those secret holsters.
And I remember telling the captain to radio New Austin as soon as we came out of our last hyperspace jump,
then to send the ship's doctor around to give me my hangover treatments.
But the one thing I wanted to remember, as the hangover shots brought me back to normal life,
I found was the one thing I couldn't remember.
What was the name of that girl?
A big, beautiful blonde, who joined the party along with Hoddy's grass widow from
Out of Iran, and stayed with it to the end.
Damn, I wished I could remember her name.
When we were 15,000 miles off planet, and the lighters from New Austin spaceport were reported
on the way, I got into the skin-tight Levi's, the cataclysmic colored shirt, and the loose
vest, tucked my big hat under my arm, and went to the Persia's office for my guns,
buckling them on. When I got back to the suite, Hottie had put on his pistols and was
practicing quick draws in front of the mirror. He took one look at my armament and groaned.
You're going to get yourself killed for sure with that rig and them pop guns, he told me.
These pop guns will shoot harder and make bigger holes than that pair of museum pieces you're
carrying, I replied.
"'And them holsters,' Hottie continued.
"'Why did it take all day to get your guns out of them?
"'You better let me find you a real rig when we get to New Austin.'
"'There was a chance, of course, that he knew what I was using
"'and wanted to hide his knowledge.
"'I doubted that.
"'Sure, you state department guys always know everything,' he went on.
"'Like them microfilm books you was reading.
"'I try to tell you what things is really like on New Texas,
"'and you let it go in one ear and off the other.
Then he wandered off to say goodbye to the grass widow from Alderman, leaving me to make
the last-minute check on the luggage.
I was hoping I'd be able to see that blonde.
What was her name?
Gail something or other.
Let's see.
She'd been at some Terran University, and she was on her way home to—
To New Texas, of course.
I saw her half an hour later, in the crowd around the airlock, when the lighters came alongside.
and I tried to push my way toward her.
As I did, the airlock opened, the crowd surged toward it, and she was carried along.
Then the airlock closed, after she had gone through and before I could get to it.
That meant I'd have to wait for the second lighter.
So I made the best of it and spent the next half hour watching the disc of the planet
grow into a large ball that filled the lower half of the view screen,
and then lose its curvature, and instead of moving in toward the planet,
we were going down toward it.
End of Chapter 2.
Chapter 3 of Lone Star Planet by H. Beam Piper and John J. McGuire.
This Librivox recording is in the public domain.
Chapter 3.
New Austin Spaceport was a huge place, a good 50 miles outside the city.
As we descended, I could see that it was laid out like a wheel, with the landings and the blast-off stands around the hub,
and high buildings, packing houses and refrigeration plants, along the many spokes.
It showed a technological level quite out of keeping with the accounts I had read
or the stories had told about the simple ranch life of the planet.
Might be foreign capital invested there, and I made a mental note to find out whose.
On the other hand, old Texas on Terra had been heavily industrialized,
so much so that the state itself could handle the gigantic project
of building enough spaceships to move almost the whole population into space.
Then the landing field was rushing up at us,
with the nearer ends of the roadways and streets drawing close,
and the far ends lengthening out away from us.
The other lighter was already down, and I could see a crowd around it.
There was a crowd waiting for us when we got out
and went down the escalators to the ground, and as I expected a special group of men waiting for me.
They were headed by a tall, slender individual, in the short black Eisenhower jacket,
gray-striped trousers in black Homburg that was the uniform of the diplomatic service,
alias, the cookie pushers.
Over their heads at the other rocket boat, I could see the gold-gleaming head of the girl I'd met on the ship.
I tried to push through the crowd and get to her.
As I did, the cookie-pusher got in my way.
Mr. Silk, Mr. Ambassador, here we are.
He was clamoring.
The car for the embassy is right over here.
He clutched at my elbow.
You have no idea how glad we are to see you, Mr. Ambassador.
Yes, yes, of course.
Now, there's somebody over there I have to see at once.
I tried to pull myself loose from his grasp.
Across the concrete between the two lighters, I could see the girl push out of the crowd
around her and wave a hand to me. I tried to yell to her, but just then another lighter,
loaded with freight, started to lift out at another nearby stand, with the roar of half
a dozen Niagara's. The thin man in the striped trousers added to the uproar by shouting
into my ear and pulling at me, we haven't time! He finally managed to make himself heard.
We're dreadfully late now, sir. You must come with us.
Hottie, too, had caught hold of me by the other arm.
Come on, boss. There's got to be some reason why he's got himself in an uproar about whatever it is.
You'll see her again.
Then the whole gang, Hottie, the thin man with the black Homburg, his younger accomplished
an identical garb, and the chauffeur, all closed in on me and pushed me, pulled me, half-carried
me fifty yards across the concrete to where their air-car was parked. By this time the tall blonde
had gotten clear of the mob around her, and was waving frantically at me. I tried to wave back,
but I was literally crammed into the car and flung down on the seat. At the same time, the chauffeur
was jumping in, extending the car's wings, jetting up.
"'Great God!' I bellowed.
"'This is the damnedest piece of impudence I've ever had to suffer from any suburb.
It's in my whole State Department experience.
I want an explanation out of you, and it better be a good one.'
There was a deafening silence in the car for a moment.
The fen-man moved himself off my lap, then sat there looking at me, with the heartbroken
eyes of a friendly dog that had just been kicked for something which wasn't really its
fault.
Mr. Ambassador, you can't imagine how sorry we all are, but if we hadn't gotten you away
from the spaceport and to the embassy at once, we would all have been much sorrier.
Somebody here gunning for the ambassador?
Hottie demanded sharply.
Oh, no, I hadn't even thought of that, the thin man almost jibbered.
But your presence at the embassy is of immediate and urgent necessity.
You have no idea of the state into which things have gotten.
Oh, pardon me, Mr. Ambassador.
I am Gilbert W. Thromble, your charge to fare.
I shook hands with him.
And Mr. Benito Gomez, the secretary of the embassy.
I shook hands with him, too, and started to introduce Mr. Hottie Ringo.
Hoddy, however, had turned to look out the rear window.
Immediately he gave a yelp.
We got a tail, boss.
Two of them.
Look back there.
There were two black eight passenger aircars of the same model, whizzing after us,
making an obvious effort to overtake us.
The chauffeur cursed and fired his auxiliary jets, then his rocket booster.
Immediately, black rocket fuel puffs shot away from the pursuing air cars.
Hoddy turned in his seat, cranked open a porthole slit in the window,
and poked one of his 11 mms out, letting the whole clip go.
Frumbly and Gomez slid down onto the floor and both began trying to drag me down with him,
imploring me not to expose myself.
As far as I could see, there was nothing to expose myself to.
The other cars kept coming, but neither of them were firing at us.
There was also no indication that Hottie Salvo had had any effect on them.
Our chauffeur went into a perfect frenzy of twisting and dodging,
at the same time, using his radio phone to tell somebody to get the goddamn gate open in a hurry.
I saw the blue skies and green plains of New Texas, replacing one another,
above, under, in front of me, and behind us.
Then the car sat down on a broad stretch of concrete.
The wings were retracted, and we went whizzing down a city street.
We whizzed down a number of streets.
We cut corners on two wheels, and on one wheel, and I was prepared to swear on no wheels.
A couple of times, with the wings retracted, we actually jetted into the air and jumped
over vehicles in front of us, landing again with bones.
shaking jolts. Then we made an abrupt turn and shot in under a concrete arch, and a big door
banged shut behind us, and we stopped in the middle of a wide patio, the front of the car
a few inches short of a fountain. Four or five people in diplomatic striped trousers,
local dress, and the uniform of the space marines came running over. Thrumbley pulled himself
erect and half climbed, half fell out of the car. Gomez got out on the other side, and, and
the other side with Hottie. I climbed out after Thrumbley. A tall, sandy-haired man in the uniform
of the Space Navy came over. "'What's the devil the matter, Thrumbley?' he demanded.
Then seeing me, he gave me as much of a salute as a naval officer will ever bestow on anybody
in civilian clothes. Mr. Silk? He looked at my costume and the pistols on my belt in well-bred
concealment of surprise. I'm your military attach.
Stonehenge, Space Commander, Space Navy.
I noticed that Hoddy's ears had pricked up,
but he wasn't making any effort to attract Stonehenge's attention.
I shook hands with him, introduced Hoddy,
and offered my cigarette case around.
You seem to have had a hectic trip from the spaceport, Mr. Ambassador.
What happened?
Thumbly began accusing our driver of trying to murder the lot of us.
Hoddy brushed him aside and explained.
Just after we took off,
Two other cars took off after us.
We speeded up and they speed it up, too.
Then your flyboy here got fancy.
That shook them off.
The time we got into the city, we dropped them.
Nice job of driving.
Probably saved our lives.
Shucks, that wasn't nothing, the driver disclaimed.
When you drive for politicians, you're either good or you're good and dead.
I'm surprised they started so soon, Stonehenge said.
Then he looked around at my friend.
fellow passengers, who seemed to have realized by now that they were no longer dangling by their
fingernails over the brink of the grave. But gentlemen, let's not keep the ambassador standing
out here in the hot sun. So we went over to the arches at the side of the patio, and were
about to sit down when one of the embassy servants came up, followed by a man in a loose vest
and blue Levi's and a big hat. He had a pair of automatic in his belt, too. I'm Captain Nelson,
New Texas Rangers?
He introduced himself.
Which one of you all is, Mr. Stephen Silk?
I admitted it.
The Ranger pushed back his wide hat and grinned at me.
I just can't figure this out, he said.
You're in the right place and the right company,
but we got a report from a mighty good source
that you'd been kidnapped at the spaceport by a gang of thugs.
A blonde source?
I made curbing motions with my hands.
I don't blame her.
My efficient and conscientious charged affairs, Mr. Thrombly, felt that I should reach the embassy
here as soon as possible, and from where she was standing it must have looked like a kidnapping.
Fact is, it looked like one from where I was standing, too.
Was that you and your people who were chasing us?
Then I must apologize for opening fire on you.
I hope nobody was hurt.
No, our cars are pretty well armored.
You scored a couple of times on one of them, but—
no harm done. I reckon after what happened to Silas Comshaw, you had a right to be suspicious.
I noticed that refreshments, including several bottles, had been placed on a big wicker table under
the arched veranda.
Can I offer you a drink, Captain, in token of mutual amity? I asked.
Well, now I'd like to, Mr. Ambassador, but I'm on duty, he began.
You can't be. You're an officer of the planetary government of New Texas, and
in this embassy, you're in the territory of the Solar League.
That's right now, Mr. Ambassador, he grinned.
Extra-territoriality.
Wonderful thing, extraterritoriality.
He looked at Hottie, who, for the first time since I had met him, was trying to shrink
into the background.
And a diplomatic immunity, too, ain't it, Hattie?
After he had had his drink and departed, we all sat down.
Frumbly began speaking almost at once.
Mr. Ambassador, you must—you simply must issue a public statement immediately, sir.
Only a public statement issued promptly will relieve the crisis into which we have all been thrust.
Oh, come, Mr. Thromley, I objected.
Captain Nelson will take care of all that in his report to his superiors.
Frumbley looked at me for a moment as though I had been speaking to him in Hottentot,
then waved his hands in polite exasperation.
Oh, no, no, I don't mean that, sir.
I mean a public statement to the effect that you have assumed full responsibility for the embassy.
Where is that thing, Mr. Gomez?
Gomez handed him four or five sheets stapled together.
He laid them on the table, turned to the last sheet, and whipped out a pen.
Here, sir, just sign here.
Are you crazy? I demanded.
I'll be damned if I'll sign that.
not till I've taken an inventory of the physical property of the embassy,
and familiarized myself with all its commitments,
and had the books audited by some firm of certified public accountants.
Thrumbley and Gomez looked at one another.
They both groaned.
But we must have a statement of assumption of responsibility, Gomez dithered,
or the business of the embassy will be at a dead stop,
and we can't do anything, thrombly finished.
Wait a minute, Thromley, Stonehenge cut in.
I understand Mr. Silk's attitude.
I've taken command of a good many ships and installations at one time or another,
and I've never signed for anything I couldn't see and feel and count.
I know men who retired as brigadier generals or vice-admiral's,
but they retired loaded with debts incurred because as second-lieutenants or incense,
they forgot that simple rule.
He turned to me.
Without any disrespect to the charged affairs, Mr. Silk, this embassy has been pretty badly
disorganized since Mr. Comshaw's death.
No one felt authorized, or to put it more accurately, no one dared to declare himself
acting head of the embassy, because that would make him the next target, I interrupted.
Well, that's what I was said here for.
Mr. Gomez, as secretary of the embassy, will you please at once prepare a statement for the press
and telecast, released to the effect that I am now the authorized head of this embassy,
responsible from this hour for all its future policies and all its present commitments,
insofar as they obligate the government of the Solar League. Get that out at once.
Tomorrow I will present my credentials to the Secretary of State here.
Thereafter, Mr. Thromble, you can rest in the assurance that I'll be the one they'll be shooting at.
But you can't wait that long, Mr. Ambassador.
"'Thrombly almost wailed.
"'We must go immediately to the State House.
"'The reception for you is already going on.'
"'I looked at my watch, which had been regulated aboard ship for Capella four time.
"'It was just thirteen.
"'What time do they hold diplomatic receptions on this planet, Mr. Thromble, I asked.
"'Oh, any time at all, sir.
"'This one started about, oh, 900, when the news that the ship was in orbit off-planet got in.
it'll be a barbecue, of course, and—
Barbecued supercow!
Yippee!
Hottie yelled.
What I've been waiting for for five years.
It would be the vilest cruelty not to take him along, I thought.
And it would also keep him and Stonehenge apart for a while.
But we must hurry, Mr. Ambassador, Thumbly was saying,
if you will change now to formal dress, and he was looking at me, gasping.
I think it was the first time he had actually seen when I was wearing.
In native dress, Mr. Ambassador?
Thumbly's eyes in tone were again those of an innocent spaniel caught in the middle of a marital argument.
Then his gaze fell to my belt, and his eyes became saucers.
Oh dear!
And armed!
My charged affairs was shuddering, and he could not look directly at me.
Mr. Ambassador, I understand that you were recently appointed from the Counselor Service.
I sincerely hope that you will not take it amiss if I point out here in private that—
Mr. Thromble, I am wearing this costume and these pistols on the direct order of the Secretary of State, Gopal Singh.
That set him back on his heels.
I—I can't believe it, he exclaimed.
an ambassador is never armed.
Not when he's dealing with a government which respects the comity of nations and the usages of diplomatic practice.
No, I replied.
But the fate of Mr. Comshaw clearly indicates that the government of New Texas is not such a government.
These pistols are in the nature of a not too subtle hint of the manner in which this government here is being regarded by the government of the Solar League.
I turned to Stonehenge.
Commander, what sort of an embassy guard have we? I asked.
Space Marines, sergeant in five men. I double as guard officer, sir.
Very well. Mr. Thrombley insists that it is necessary for me to go to this fish fry or whatever it is immediately.
I want two men, a driver, and an auto-rivalman for my car.
And from now on, I would suggest, Commander, that you wear your sidearm at all time.
times outside the embassy.
Yes, sir.
And this time, Stonehenge gave me a real salute.
Well, I must phone the Statehouse, then, formerly said.
We'll have to call on Secretary of State Palmy, and then on President Hutchinson.
With that, he got up, excused himself, motioned Gomez to follow, and hurried away.
I got up, too, and motioned Stonehenge aside.
aboard ship coming in, I was told that there is a task force of the Space Navy on maneuvers about five light years from here, I said.
Yes, sir. Task Force Red Blue Green, Fifth Space Fleet, Fleet Admiral Sir Rodney Tragascus.
Can we get a hold of a fast spaceboat with hyperdrive engines in a hurry?
Eight or ten of them all ways around New Austin spaceport available for charter.
All right, charter one, and get out to that fleet.
Tell Admiral Drogoski that the ambassador at New Austin feels in need of protection,
possibility of Zasrof invasion.
I'll give you written orders.
I want the fleet within radio call.
How far out would that be with our facilities?
The embassy radio isn't reliable beyond about 60 light minutes, sir.
Then tell Sir Rodney to bring his fleet in that close.
The invasion, if it comes, will probably not come from the direction of the Zsroff star cluster.
They'll probably jump past us and move in from the other side.
I hope you don't think I'm having nightmares, Commander.
Danger of a Zasroff invasion was pointed out to me by persons on the very highest level on Luna.
Stonehenge nodded.
I'm always having the same kind of nightmares, sir,
especially since this special envoy arrived here, ostensibly to New York.
negotiate a meteor mining treaty. He hesitated for a moment.
We don't want the new Texans to know, of course, that you sent for the fleet.
Naturally not. Well, if I can wait till about midnight before I leave, I can get a boat owned,
manned, and operated by Solar League people. The boat's a dreadful-looking old tub,
but she's sound and fast. The gang who own her are pretty notorious characters,
suspected of smuggling, poverty, and whatnot, but they'll keep their mob.
shut if well paid. Then pay them well, I said, and it's just as well you're not leaving at once.
When I get back from this clam-bake, I'll want to have a general informal counsel and I certainly
want you in on it. On the way to the State House in the air car, I kept wondering just how
smart I had been. I was pretty sure that the Zasroff was getting ready for a sneak attack on New
Texas, and as Solar League ambassador, I of course had the right to call.
on the Space Navy for any amount of armed protection.
Sending Stonehenge off on what couldn't be less than an 18-hour trip
would delay anything he and Hoddy might be cooking up, too.
On the other hand, with the fleet so near they might decide to have me rubbed out in a hurry
to justify seizing the planet ahead of the Sussaroff.
I was in that pleasant spot called,
Damned if you do and damned if you don't.
End of Chapter 3.
Chapter 4 of Lone Star Planet by H. Beam Piper and John J. McGuire.
This Libre Vox recording is in the public domain.
Chapter 4
The State House appeared to cover about a square mile of ground, and it was an insane jumble of buildings piled beside and on top of one another,
as though it had been in continuous construction ever since the planet was colonized 80-odd years before.
At what looked like one of the main entrances, the car stopped.
I told our marine driver and auto riflemen to park the car and take in the barbecue,
but to leave word with the doorman where they could be found.
Hottie, Thumbly, and I then went in to be met by a couple of New Texas Rangers,
one of them the officer who had called at the embassy.
They guided us to the office of the Secretary of State.
"'We're dreadfully late,' Thrumbly was fretting.
I do hope we haven't kept the secretary waiting too long."
From the looks of him I was afraid we had.
He jumped up from his desk and hurried across the room as soon as the receptionist opened the door for us.
His hand extended.
"'Good afternoon, Mr. Thrumbley,' he burbled nervously.
"'And this is the new ambassador, I suppose.
And this?'
He caught sight of Hottie Ringo, bringing up the rear and stopped short, hand flying to open mouth.
Oh, dear me!
So far I had been building myself a new Texas stereotype from Hottie Ringo and the Ranger officer
who had chased us to the embassy.
But this frightened little rabbit of a fellow simply didn't fit in.
An alien would be justified in assigning him to an entirely different species.
Thrumbley introduced me.
I introduced Hoddy as my confidential secretary and advisor.
We all shook hands.
and thrombly dug my credentials out of his briefcase and handed them to me,
and I handed them to the Secretary of State, Mr. William A. Palmy.
He barely glanced at them, then shook my hand again fervently,
and mumbled something about inexpressible pleasure,
and entirely acceptable to my government.
That made me the accredited and accepted ambassador to New Texas.
Mr. Palmy hoped, or said he hoped,
that my stay in New Texas would be long and pleasant.
He seemed rather less than convinced that it would be.
His eyes kept returning in horrified fascination to my belt.
Each time they would focus on the butts of my crops tattas,
he would pull them resolutely away again.
And now we must take you to President Hutchinson.
He is most anxious to meet you, Mr. Silk, if you will please come with me.
Four or five rangers who had been loitering of the hall outside moved to follow us as we went toward the elevator.
Although he had come into the building onto a floor only a few feet above street level,
we went down three floors from the hallway outside the Secretary of State's office,
into a huge room, the concrete floor of which was oil-stained,
as though vehicles were constantly being driven in and out.
It was a hundred feet wide and two or three hundred in length.
Daylight was visible through open doors at the end.
As we approached them, the rangers, fanny out on either side and in front of us,
I could hear a perfect bedlam of noise outside, shouting, singing, dance band music,
interspersed with the banging of shots.
When we reached the doors at the end, we emerged into one end of a big rectangular plaza,
at least 500 yards in length.
Most of the uproar was centered at the opposite end
where several thousand people in costumes
colored through the whole spectrum were milling about.
There seemed to be at least two square dances going on
to the music of competing bands.
At the distant end of the plaza over the heads of the crowd,
I could see the piles and tracks of an overhead crane
towering above what looked like an open hearth furnace.
Between us and the bulk of the crowd,
in a cleared space.
Two medium tanks, heavily patted with mats,
were ramming and trying to overturn each other,
the mob of spectators crowding as close to them as they dared.
The den was positively deafening,
though we were at least 200 yards from the center of the crowd.
Oh, dear, I always dread these things,
Palmy was saying.
Yes, absolutely anything could happen, trumbly twittered.
Man, this is a real barbecue, hot he gloated.
Now I really feel at home.
Over this way, Mr. Silk, Pommie said, guiding us toward the short end of the plaza on our left.
We will see the president, and then—' he gulped.
Then we will all go to the barbecue.
In the center of the short end of the plaza,
dwarfed by the monster bulks of steel and concrete and glass around it,
stood a little old building of warm-tinted adobe.
I had never seen it before, but somehow it was familiar-looking.
And then I remembered.
Although I had never seen it before,
I had seen it pictured many times,
pictured under attack with gun-smokes spouting from windows and parapets.
I plucked thrombly's sleeve.
Isn't that a replica of the Alamo?
He was shocked.
Oh, dear, Mr. Ambley's sleeve.
"'I'massad don't let anybody hear you ask that.
"'That's no replica.
"'It is the Alamo, the Alamo.'
"'I stood there a moment, looking at it.
"'I was remembering and finally understanding
"'what my psycho-history lessons about the Romantic Freeze had meant.
"'They had taken this little mission for it down,
"'brick by Adobe Brick, loaded it carefully into a spaceship,
"'brought it here, 42 light-years away from,
Terra and reverently set it up again.
Then they had built a whole world and a whole social philosophy around it.
It had been the dissatisfied, of course, the discontented the dreamers who had led the
vanguard of man's expansion into space following the discovery of the hyperspace drive.
They had gone from Terra, cherishing dreams of things that had been dumped into the dust bin
of history, carrying with them pictures of ways of life that had been.
had passed away, or that had never really been.
Then in their new life, on new planets, they had set to work making those dreams and those
pictures live.
And many times they had come close to succeeding.
These Texans now they had left behind the cold fact that it had been their state's great
industrial complex that had made their migration possible.
They ignored the fact that their life here on Capella for,
was possible only by application of modern industrial technology.
That rodeo down the plaza, tank tilting instead of bronco-busting.
Here they were living frozen in a romantic dream, a world of roving cowboys and ranch kingdoms.
No wonder Hottie hadn't liked the books I had been reading on the ship.
They shook the fabric of that dream.
There were people moving about at this relatively quiet end of the plaza,
mostly in the direction of the barbecue.
Ten or twelve rangers loitered at the front of the Alamo,
and with them I saw the dress blues of my two marines.
There was a little three-wheeled motor cart among them,
from which they were helping themselves to food and drink.
When they saw us coming, the two marines shoved their sandwiches
into the hands of a couple of rangers and tried to come to attention.
"'At ease, at ease,' I told him.
"'Have a good time, boys.
"'Hoddy, you better get in on some of this grub.
I may be inside for quite a while.'
As soon as the rangers saw Hottie, they hastily got things out of their right hands.
Hoddy grinned at them.
"'Take it easy, boys,' he said.
"'I'm protected by the game laws.
I'm a diplomat, I am.'
There were a couple of rangers lounging outside the door of the president's office,
and both of them carried auto-rifles, implying things I didn't like.
I had seen the president of the Solar League wandering around the Dome City of Artemis unattended,
looking for all the world like a professor in its academic halls.
Since then, maybe before then, I had always had a healthy suspicion of governments
whose chiefs had to surround themselves with bodyguards.
But the president of New Texas, John Hutchinson, was alone in his office when we were shown in.
He got up and came around his desk to greet us.
A slender, stoop-shouldered man in a black and gold lace jacket.
He had a narrow compressed mouth and eyes that seemed to be watching every corner of the room at once.
He wore a pair of small pistols and cross-body holsters under his coat,
and he always kept one hand or the other close to his abdomen.
He was like and yet unlike the Secretary of State.
Both had the look of hunted animals.
But where Palmy was a rabbit, twitching to take forward.
flight at the first whiff of danger.
Hutchinson was a cat who hears hounds baying, ready to run if he could, or claw if he must.
Good day, Mr. Silk, he said, shaking hands with me after the introductions.
I see you're healed. You're smart. You wouldn't be here today if poor Silas comes shot
to be as smart as you are. Great man, though, a wise and foreseeing statesman. He and I
were real friends.
"'You know who Mr. Silk brought with him as bodyguard?'
"'Pommy asked.
"'Hoddy Ringo!'
"'Oh, my God, I thought this planet was rid of him.'
The president turned to me.
"'You got a good trickleman, though, Mr. Ambassador.
"'Good man to watch your back for you.
"'But a lot of folks here won't thank you for bringing him back to New Texas.'
"'He looked at his watch.
"'We have time for a little drink before we go out
outside Mr. Silk, he said.
Care to join me?
I assented, and he got a bottle of super bourbon out of his desk with four glasses.
Paumy got some water tumblers and brought the pitcher of ice water from the cooler.
I noticed that the new Texas Secretary of State filled his three-ounce liquor glass to the top and gulped it down at once.
He might act as though he were descended from a long line of maiden ants,
but he took his liquor in blasts that would have floored a spaceport.
labor boss. We had another drink, a little slower, and chatted for a while. Then Hutchinson said,
regretfully, that we'd have to go outside and meet the folks. Outside our guards, Hoddy,
the two Marines, the Rangers who had escorted us from Palmy's office, and Hutchinson's
retinue surrounded us, and we made our way down the plaza through the crowd. The din, ear-piercing
yells, whistles, cowbells, pistol shots.
the cacophony of the two dance bands and the chorus singing of which i caught only the words the skies of freedom are above you was as bad as new year's eve in manhattan or nairobi or new moscow on terra
don't take all this as a personal tribute mr silk hutchinson screamed into my ear on this planet to paraphrase nietzsche a good barbecue hollow with any cause that surprised me at the moment later i found out that john hutchinses
was one of the leading scholars on New Texas
and had once been president of one of their universities,
New Texas Christian, I believe.
As we got up onto the platform,
close enough to the barbecue pits to feel the heat from them,
somebody let off what sounded like a 50-millimeter anti-tank gun
five or six times.
Hutchinson grabbed the microphone and bellowed into it.
Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please.
The noise began to diminish slowly until I could hear one voice in the crowd below.
Shut up, you damn fools. We can't eat till this is over.
Hutchinson introduced me, in very few words. I gathered that lengthy speeches and barbecues
were not popular on New Texas.
Ladies and gentlemen, I yelled into the microphone.
Appreciative as I am of this honor, there is one here who is more deserving of your
noticed that I, one to whom I also pay homage.
He's over there on the fire, and I want a slice of him as soon as possible.
That got a big ovation.
There was, besides the water pitcher, a bottle of super bourbon.
I ostentatiously threw the water out of the glass, poured a big shot of the corrosive
stuff, and downed it.
For God's sake, let's eat, I finished.
Then I turned to Thromble, who was looking like a priest who had just a
seen the bishop spit in the holy water font.
Stick close to me, I whispered.
Cue me in on the local notables and the other members of the diplomatic corps.
Then we all got down off the platform, and a band climbed up and began playing one of those
raucous cowboy ballads, which had originated in Manhattan about the middle of the
twentieth century.
These sandwiches will be here in a moment, Mr. Ambassador, Hutchinson screamed, in effect
whispered in my ear.
Don't feel any reluctance about shaking hands with a sandwich in your other hand.
That's standard practice here.
You struck just the right note up there.
That business with the liquor was positively inspired.
The sandwiches, huge masses of meat and hot relish wrapped in tortillas of some sort,
arrived, and I bit into one.
I'd been eaten super cow all my life, frozen or electron beamed for transportation,
and now I was discovering that I had never really eaten super cow before.
I finished the first sandwich in surprisingly short order,
and was starting on my second when the crowd began coming.
First the diplomatic corps, the usual collections of weirdies, human, and otherwise.
There was the ambassador from Tara,
in a suit of what his planet produced as a substitute for Irish homespuns.
His embassy, if it was like the others I had seen elsewhere,
would be an outsized cottage with whitewashed walls and a thatched roof with a bowl of milk outside the door for the little people.
The ambassador from Alphorat's Two, the South African Nationalist Planet, with a full beard and old-fashioned plug hat and tailcoat.
They were a frustrated lot.
They had gone into space to practice apartheid and had settled on a planet where there was no other intelligent race to be superior to.
The Mormon ambassador from Deseret, Camel Lopardus 4.
The ambassador from Spica 7, a short, jolly-looking little fellow with a head like a seals,
long arms, short legs, and a tail like a kangaroos.
The ambassador from Beta Cephas 6.
Who could have passed for human if he hadn't had blood with a copper base instead of iron?
His skin was a dark green and his hair was a bright blue.
I was beginning to correct my first impression that Thrombley was a complete thithering fool.
He stood at my left elbow, whispering the names and governments and home planets of the ambassadors as they came up,
handing me little slips of paper on which he had written phonetically correct renditions of the greetings I would give them in their own language.
I was still twittering a reply to the greeting of Nannadabodian from Beta Sepa 6 when he whispered to me,
Here it comes, sir.
The Zoraf.
The seraph were reasonably close to human stature and appearance,
allowing for the fact that their ancestry had been canine instead of Simeon.
They had, of course, longer and narrower jars than we have,
and definitely carnivorous teeth.
There were stories floating around that they enjoyed barbecue to Teren,
even better than they did Super Cow in hot relish.
This one advanced, extending his three-forkers.
fingered hand.
I am most happy to make connection with Solar League representative, he said.
I am named Bluffer de Spockfan by Vufu.
No wonder, Thromby let him introduce himself.
I answered in the basic English that was all he'd admit to understanding.
The name of your great nation has gone before you to me.
The stories we tell to our young of you are at the top of our books.
i have hoped to make great pleasure in you and me to be friends gloffer vuvuvu's smile wavered a little at the oblique reference to the couple of trouncings our space navy had administered to soar off ships in the past
we will be in the same place again times with no number the alien replied i have hoped for you that time you are in this place will be long and will put pleasure in your heart then the pressure of the line behind
him pushed him on. Cabinet members, senators, representatives, prominent citizens, mostly
judge so-and-so, or colonel this or that. It was all a blur, so much so, that it was an
instant before I recognized the gleaming golden hair and the statuesque figure.
Thank you. I have met the ambassador. The lovely voice was shaking with restrained anger.
Gale! I exclaimed.
"'Your father coming to the barbecue, Gail?'
President Hutchinson was asking.
He ought to be here any minute.
He sent me on ahead from the hotel.
He wants to meet the ambassador.
That's why I joined the line.
Well, suppose I'll leave Mr. Silk in your hands for a while, Hutchinson said.
I ought to circulate around a little.
Yes, just leave him in my hands, she said vindictively.
What's wrong, Gail?
I wanted to know.
I know I was supposed to meet you at the spaceport, but
You made a beautiful fool of me at the spaceport?
Look, I can explain everything.
My embassy staff insisted on hurrying me off.
Someone gave a high-pitched whoop directly behind me
and emptied the clip of a pistol.
I couldn't even hear what else I said.
I couldn't hear what she said either.
But it was something angry.
You have to listen to me, I roared in her ear.
I can explain everything.
"'Any diplomat can explain anything,' she shouted back.
"'Look, Gail, you're hanging an innocent man,' I yelled back at her.
"'I'm entitled to a fair trial.'
Somebody on the platform began firing his pistol within inches of the loudspeakers,
and it sounded like an H-bomb going off.
She grabbed my wrist and dragged me toward a door under the platform.
"'Down here,' she yelled.
"'And this better be good, Mr. Silk.'
We went down a spiral ramp, lighted by widely scattered overhead lights.
Space attack shelter, she explained.
And look, what goes on in spaceships is one thing,
but it's as much as a girl's reputation is worth to come down here during a barbecue.
There seemed to be quite a few girls at that barbecue who didn't care what happened to their reputations.
We discovered that after looking into a couple of passageways that branched off the entrance.
"'Over this way,' Gail said.
"'Confederate Courts building.
"'There won't be anything going on over here now.'
"'I told her with as much humorous detail as possible
"'about how Thrombley had Shanghai to the embassy
"'and about the chase by the Rangers.
"'Before I was half through, she was laughing heartily,
"'all traces of her anger gone.
"'Finally we came to a stairway,
"'and at the head of it, to a small door.
"'It's been for years that I've been away,
from here," she said.
I think there's a reading room of the law library up here.
Let's go in and enjoy the quiet for a while.
But when we opened the door, there was a ranger standing inside.
Come to see a trial, Mr. Silk?
Oh, hello, Gail.
Just in time they're going to prepare for the next trial.
As he spoke, something clicked at the door.
Gail looked at me in consternation.
Now we're locked in, she said.
We can't get out to the door.
the trial's over.
End of Chapter 4.
Chapter 5 of Lone Star Planet by H. Beam Piper and John J. McGuire.
This Libre Vox recording is in the public domain.
Chapter 5
I looked around.
We were on a high balcony at the end of a long, narrow room.
In front of us, windows rose to the ceiling, and it was evident that the floor of the room was
about 20 feet below brown level.
Outside, I could see the barbecue still going on, but not a murmur of noise penetrated to us.
What seemed to be the judge's bench was against the outside wall under the tall windows.
To the right of it was a real stand with a chair in it, and in front arranged in U-shape,
were three tables at which a number of men were hastily conferring.
There were nine judges in a row on the bench, all in black gowns.
The spectator's seats below were filled with people, and there were quite a few up here on the balcony.
What is this, Supreme Court? I asked as Gail piloted me to a couple of seats where we could be alone.
No, a court of political justice, she told me. This is the court that's going to try those three Bonnie brothers who killed Mr. Cumshaw.
It suddenly occurred to me that this was the first time I had heard anything specific about the death of my predecessor.
That isn't the trial that's going on now, I hope.
Oh, no, that won't be for a couple of days.
Not until after you can arrange to attend.
I don't know what this trial is.
I only got home today myself.
What's the procedure here, I wanted to know?
Well, those nine men are judges, she began.
The one in the middle is President Judge Nelson.
You've met his son, the ranger officer, who chased you from the spaceport.
He's a regular jurist.
The other eight are prominent citizens.
who are drawn from a panel like a jury.
The men at the table on the left are the prosecution,
friends of the politician who was killed,
and the ones on the right are the defense.
They'll try to prove that the dead man got what was coming to him.
The ones in the middle are friends of the court.
They're just anybody who has any interest in the case.
People who want to get some point of law cleared up
or see some precedent established or something like that.
You seem to assume that this is a homicide case,
mentioned. They generally are. Sometimes mayhem or wounding or simple assault, but there had been
some sort of conference going on in the open space, a floor between the judge's bench and the
three tables. It broke up now, and the judge in the middle wrapped with his gavel.
"'Are you gentlemen ready?' he asked.
"'All right, then. Court of Political Justice of the Confederate Continants of New Texas is now in session.
Case of the Friends of S. Austin Maverick, deceased, late of James Bowie Continent versus Wilbur Watley.
My God, did somebody finally kill Oz Maverick? Kiel whispered.
On the center table and in front of the friends of the court, both sides seemed to have piled their exhibits.
Among the litter I saw some torn clothing, a big white sombrero covered with blood, and a long machete.
The general nature of the case, the judge was saying, is that the defendant, Wilbur Watley,
of Sam Houston Continent, is here charged with divers offenses arising from the death of the Honorable S. Austin Maverick,
whom he killed on the front steps of the Legislative Assembly Building, here in New Austin.
What's going on here, I thought angrily.
This is the rancest incidence of prejudged case I've ever seen.
I started to say as much to Gail, but she hushed me.
I want to hear the specifications, she said.
A man at the prosecution table had risen.
Please the court, he began.
The defendant, Wilbur Watley, is here charged with political irresponsibility and excessive atrocity
in exercising his constitutional right of criticism of a practicing politician.
These specifications are as follows.
That on the afternoon of May 7th, Ano Domini, 293, the defendant here present did arm himself
with a machete, said Machete, not being one of his normal and accustomed weapons, and did
leiter in wait on the front steps of the Legislative Assembly Building in the City of New Austin,
continent of Sam Houston, and did approach the decedent, addressing him in abusive, obscene,
and indecent language, and did set upon and attack him with Macheteen.
aforesaid, causing the said decedent S. Austin Maverick to die.
The court wanted to know how the defendant would plead.
Somebody without bothering to rise said,
Not guilty, Your Honor, from the defense table.
There was a brief scraping of chairs.
Four or five men from the defense and the prosecution tables got up
and advanced to confer in front of the bench, comparing sheets of paper.
The man who had read the charges, obviously the chief prosecutor,
made himself the spokesman. Your Honor, defense and prosecution wished to enter the following
stipulations, that the decedent was a practicing politician within the meaning of the Constitution,
that he met his death in the manner stated in the coroner's report, and that he was killed by the
defendant Wilbur Watley. Is that agreeable to you, Mr. Vincent? The judge wanted to know.
The defense answered affirmatively,
sat back gaping like a fool. Why, that was practically—no, it was a confession.
All right, gentlemen, the judge said. Now we have all that out of the way. Let's get on with the case.
As though there were any case to get on with. I fully expected them to take it on from there in song,
words by Gilbert and music by Sullivan. Well, Your Honor, we have a number of character witnesses,
the prosecution, prosecution for God's sake, announced.
Skip them, the defense said.
We stipulate.
But you can't stipulate character testimony, the prosecution argued.
You don't know what our witnesses are going to testify to.
Sure we do.
They're going to give us a big, long, shaggy dog story about the life and miracles of St. Austin Maverick.
We'll agree in advance to all that.
This case is concerned only with his record.
as a politician.
And as he spent the last 15 years in the Senate, that's all a matter of public record.
I assume that the prosecution is going to introduce all that to?
Well, naturally, the prosecution began.
Including his public acts on the last day of his life, the Council of the Defense demanded.
His actions on the morning of May 7th as chairman of the Finance and Revenue Committee?
You're going to introduce that as evidence for the process?
prosecution? Well, no, the prosecution began. Your Honor, we asked to have a certified
copy of the proceedings of the Senate Finance and Revenue Committee for the morning of May 7,
2193, read into the record of this court, the Council of the Defense said, and thereafter,
we rest our case. Has the prosecution anything to say before we close the court? Judge Nelson
inquired.
Well, Your Honor, this seems, that is, we ought to hear both sides of it.
My old friend, Oz Maverick, was really a fine man.
He did a lot of good for the people of his continent.
Yeah, we'd have lynched him when he got back if somebody hadn't chopped him up here in New Austin.
A voice from the rear of the courtroom broke in.
The prosecution hemmed and hawed for a moment and then announced in a hasty mumble that it rested.
I will now close the court, Judge Nelson said.
I advise everybody to keep your seats.
I don't think it's going to be closed very long.
And then he actually closed the court.
Pressing a button on the bench, he raised a high black screen in front of him and his colleagues.
It stayed up for some 60 seconds and then dropped again.
The Court of Political Justice has reached a verdict, he announced.
Wilbur Watley and your attorney.
approach and hear the verdict.
The defense lawyer motioned a young man who had been sitting beside him to rise.
In the silence that had fallen, I could hear the defendant's boots squeaking as he went
forward to hear his fate.
The judge picked up a belt and a pair of pistols that had been lying in front of him.
Will Bewotley, he began, this court is proud to announce that you have been unanimously acquitted
of the charge of political irresponsibility and a judge of political irresponsibility and a judge of,
of unjustified and excessive atrocity.
There was one dissenting vote on acquitted you of the charge of political irresponsibility.
One of the associate judges felt that the late unmitigated scoundrel, Austin Maverick,
ought to have been skinned alive an inch at a time.
You are, however, acquitted of that charge, too.
You all know, he continued addressing the entire assemblage,
the reason for which this young hero cut down that monster of political ineckoning,
S. Austin Maverick. On the very morning of his justly married to death,
Austin Maverick, using the powers of his political influence, rammed through the
Finance and Revenue Committee a bill entitled, An Act for Taxing of Personal Incomes, and
the levying of a withholding tax. Fellow citizens, words fail me to express my horror of this
diabolic proposition, this proposed instrument of tyrannical extortion, borrowed from the dark
ages of the twentieth century. Why, if this young nobleman had not taken his blade in hand,
I'd have killed the son of a bitch myself. He leaned forward, extending the belt and holsters
to the defendant. I therefore restored to you your weapons taken from you when in compliance
with the law, you were formally arrested. Buckle them on, and
And, assuming your weapons again, go forth from this court of free man, Wilbur Watley,
and take with you that machete, with which you vindicated the liberties and rights of all New Texans.
Bear it reverently to your home.
Hang it among your lairs and pennant and cherish it, and dying, mention it within your will,
bequeathing it as a rich legacy unto your issue.
Court adjourned. Next session, O-900 tomorrow.
For cry sakes, let's get out of here before the...
the barbecues over.
Some of the spectators, drooling for a barbecued super cow, began crowding and jostling toward
the exits.
More of them were pushing to the front of the courtroom, cheering and waving their hip flasks.
The prosecution, and about half of the friends of the court, hastily left by a side door,
probably to issue statements disassociating themselves from the deceased Maverick.
So that's the court that's going to try the man who killed Ambassador Comshaw, I commented,
as Gail and I went out.
Why, the purpose of that court seems to be to acquit murderers.
Murderers?
She was indignant.
That wasn't murder.
He just killed a politician.
All the court could do was determine whether or not the politician needed it.
And while I never heard about Maverick's income tax proposition,
I can't see how they could have brought in any other kind of verdict,
of all the outrageous things.
I was thoughtfully silent as we went out into the plaza, which was still a riot of noise
and polychromatic costumes, and my thoughts were as weltered as the scene before me.
Apparently, on New Texas, killing a politician wasn't regarded as Malum in Se, and was Malum
prohibitum only to the extent that what happened to the politician was in excess of what he
deserved. I began to understand why Palmy was such a scared rabbit, why Hutchinson had that hunted
look, and kept his hands always within inches of his pistols. I began to feel more pity than contempt
for Thrumbley, too. He's been on this planet too long, and he should never have been
sit here in the first place. I'll rotate him home as soon as possible. Then the full meaning of what I had
scene finally got through to me. If they were going to try the killers of Comshaw in that court,
that meant that on New Texas foreign diplomats were regarded as practicing politicians.
That made me a practicing politician, too. And that's why, when we got back to the vicinity
of the bandstand, I had my right hand close to my pistol, with my thumb on the inconspicuous little
spot of silver inlay that operated the secret holster mechanism. I saw Hutchinson and
palmy and thromily ahead. With them was a newcomer, a portly, ruddy-faced gentleman with a
white mustache and goatee dressed in a white suit. Gail broke away from me and ran toward him.
This I thought would be her father. Now I would be introduced and find out just what her last
name was. I followed more slowly, and saw a waiter with a wheeled serving table, moving in behind
the group which she had joined. So I saw what none of them did. The waiter suddenly reversed
his long carving knife and poised himself for a blow at President Hutchinson's back.
I simply pressed the little silver stud on my belt, the croppedta popped obediently out of
the holster into my open hand. I thumbed off the safety and safety and
swam up. When my sights closed on the rising hand that held the knife, I fired.
Hottie Ringo, who had been holding a sandwich with one hand and a drink with the other,
dropped both and jumped on the man whose hand I had smashed. A couple of rangers closed in and
grabbed him also. The group around President Hutchinson had all turned and were
staring from me to the man I had shot, and from him to the knife with a broken handle
lying on the ground. Hutchinson spoke first.
Well, Mr. Ambassador, my government thanks your government.
That was nice shooting.
Hey, you've been holding out on me, Hottie accused.
I never knew you was that kind of gunfighter.
That's a new wrinkle, the man with the white goatee said.
We'll have to screen the help at these affairs a little more closely.
He turned to me.
Mr. Ambassador, New Texas owes you a great deal for saving the President's life.
If you'll get that pistol out of your hand,
I'd be proud to shake it, sir. I holstered my automatic and took his hand. Gail was saying,
Stephen, this is my father, and at the same time, Pau me, the Secretary of State, was doing it more formally.
Ambassador Silk, may I present one of our leading citizens and large ranchers, Colonel Andrew Jackson Hickok.
Dun Barton Oaks had taught me how to maintain the proper diplomat's unchanging expression.
drinking super bourbon had been a postgraduate course.
I needed that training, as I finally learned Gail's last name.
End of Chapter 5. Chapter 6 of Lone Star Planet by H. Beam Piper and John J. McGuire.
This Libre Vox recording is in the public domain.
Chapter 6. It was early evening before we finally managed to get away from the barbecue.
Thromley had called the embassy and told them not to wait to wait to.
dinner for us. So the staff had finished eating and were relaxing in the patio when our car came
in through the street gate. Stonehenge and another man came over to meet us as we got out. A man I
hadn't met before. He was a little fellow, half Latin, half oriental, in New Texas costume,
and wearing a pair of pistols like mine in State Department's Special Services holsters. He didn't
look like a Dumbarton Oaks product. I thought he was more likely an alumnus of some
private detective agency.
Mr. Francisco Paros, our intelligence man, Stonehenge introduced him.
Sorry I wasn't here when you arrived, Mr. Silk, Paros said, out checking on some things.
But I saw that bit of shooting on the telecast screen and the bar over town.
You know there was a camera right over the bandstand that caught the whole thing.
You and Miss Hickok coming toward the president and his party, Miss Hickok running forward to her father,
the waiter going up behind Hutchinson with the knife, and then that beautiful draw and snapshot.
They ran it again a couple of times on the half-hourly newscast.
Everybody in New Austin, maybe on New Texas, is talking about it now.
Yes, indeed, sir, Gomez, the embassy secretary, said joining us,
you've made yourself more popular in the eight hours since you landed than poor Mr. Comshaw
had been able to do in the ten years he spent here.
But I'm afraid, sir, you've given him.
me a good deal of work answering your fan mail.
We went over and sat down at one of the big tables under the arches at the side of the patio.
Well, that's all to the good, I said.
I'm going to need a lot of local goodwill in the next few weeks.
No thanks, Mr. Paros, I added, as the intelligence man picked up a bottle and made to pour
for me.
I've been practically swimming in super bourbon all afternoon.
A little black coffee, if you don't mind.
And now, gentlemen, if you'll all be seated, we'll see what has to be done.
A Council of War, in effect, Mr. Ambassador, Stonehenge inquired.
Let's call it a council to estimate the situation.
But I'll have to find out from you first exactly what the situation here is.
Thumbly stirred uneasily.
But, sir, I confess that I don't understand.
Your briefing on Luna?
Was practically nonexistent.
I had a total of six hours to get aboard ship from the moment I was notified that I was to be appointed to this embassy.
Incredible, thrombly murmured.
I wondered what he'd say if I told him that I thought it was deliberate.
Naturally, I spent some time on the ship greeting up on this planet,
but I know practically nothing about what's been going on here in, say, the last year,
and all I know about the death of Mr. Comshaw is that he is said to have been killed by three brothers
named Bonnie.
So you'll want just about everything, Mr. Silk, Thromby said.
Really, I don't know where to begin.
Start with why and how Mr. Comshaw was killed.
The rest, I believe, will key into that.
So they began, Thrumbly, Stonehenge, and Peros doing the talking.
It came to this.
Ever since we had first established an embassy on New Texas,
the goal of our diplomacy on this planet had been to secure.
it into the Solar League, and it was a goal which seemed very little closer to realization
now that it had been twenty-three years before.
You must know by now what politics on this planet are like, Mr. Silk, Thrombley said.
I have an idea.
One ambassador gone native, another gone crazy, the third killed himself, the fourth murdered.
Yes, indeed.
I've been here fifteen years myself.
"'That's entirely too long for anybody to be stationed in this place,' I told him.
If I'm not murdered myself in the next couple of weeks,
I'm going to see that you and any other member of the staff who's been here over ten years
are rotated home for a tour of duty at department headquarters.
Oh, would you, Mr. Silk? I would be so happy.
Thrumbley wasn't much in the way of an ally, but at least he had a sound, selfish motive
for helping me stay alive. I assured him I would get him,
sent back to Luna and then went on with the discussion.
Up until six months ago, Silas Comshaw had modeled himself after the typical New Texas politician.
He had always worn at least two faces and had always managed to place himself on every side of
every issue at once. Nothing he ever said could possibly be construed as controversial.
Naturally, the cause of New Texas annexation to the Solo League had made no progress whatever.
Then one evening at a banquet he had executed a complete 180-degree turn,
delivering a speech in which he proclaimed that union with the Solar League
was the only possible way in which New Texans could retain even a vestige of local sovereignty.
He had talked about an invasion as though the enemy ships were already coming out of hyperspace
and had named the invader, called the Soroff Our Common Enemy.
The Soroff Ambassador, also present, had immediately gotten up and stalked out amid a derisive course of barking and baying from the New Texans.
The New Texans were first shocked and then wildly delighted.
They had been so used to hearing nothing but inanities and high-order abstractions from their public figures
that the Solar League ambassador had become a hero overnight.
Sounds as though there is a really strong sentiment at what used to be called.
the grassroots level in favor of annexation, I commented.
There is, Peros told me.
Of course, there is a very strong isolationist's anti-annixation sentiment too.
The sentiment in favor of annexation is based on the point Mr. Kamshaar made, the danger of conquest
by the Soroff.
Against that, of course, there is fear of higher taxes, fear of loss of local sovereignty,
fear of abrogation of local customs and institutions, and chauvinist's
pride.
We can deal with some of that by furnishing guarantees of local self-government.
The emotional objections can be met by convincing them that we need the great planet of New
Texas to add glory and lustre to the Solar League, I said.
You think, then, that Mr. Cumshaugh was assassinated by opponents of annexation?
Of course, sir, thrombly replied.
These bonnies were only hirelings.
Here's what happened on the day of the murder.
It was a day after a holiday, a big one here on New Texas, celebrating some military victory
by the Texans on Terra, a battle called San Jacinto.
We didn't have any business to handle because all the local officials were home nursing hangovers.
So when Colonel Hickok called—
Who? I asked sharply.
Colonel Hickok, the father of the young lady you were so attentive to at the barbecue.
He and Mr. Komshaw had become great friends, beginning short of.
shortly after the speech the ambassador made at the banquet.
He called about 0,900, inviting Mr. Comshaw out to his ranch for the day, and as there
was nothing in the way of official business, Mr. Combshaw said he'd be out by 10.30.
When he got there, there was an air car circling about near the ranch house.
As Mr. Combshaw got out of his car and started up the front steps, somebody in this car landed
it on the driveway and began shooting with a 20-millimeter auto rifle.
Comshaw was hit several times and killed instantly.
The fellows who did the shooting were damn lucky, Stonehenge took over.
Hickok's a big rancher.
I don't know how much you know about Super Kyle ranching, sir, but those things have to be
herded with tanks and light aircraft, so that every rancher has, at his disposal, a fairly
good small air armor combat team.
Naturally, all the big ranchers are colonels in the arm reserve.
Hickok has about 15 fast fighters and 30 medium tanks armed with 50-millimeter guns.
He also has some AA guns around his ranch house.
Every once in a while these ranchers get to squabbling among themselves.
Well, these three Bonnie brothers were just turning away when a burst from the ranch house
caught their jet assembly, and they could only get as far as Bonneville 30 miles away before
they had to land.
They landed right in front of the town.
jail.
This bodyvill's an awful shanty town.
Everybody in it's related to everybody else.
The mayor, for instance, kettlebelly Sam Boney, is an uncle of theirs.
These three boys, switchblade Joe Boney, Jack High Abe Boney, and Turkey Buzzard Tom Boney,
immediately claimed sanctuary in the jail on the grounds that they had been near to,
get that.
I think that indicates the line they're going to take at the trial.
near to a political assassination.
They were immediately given the protection of the jail,
which is about the only well-constructed building in the place,
practically a fort.
You think this was planned in advance, I asked.
Paros nodded emphatically.
I do.
There was a hell of a big gang of these bonys at the jail,
almost the entire able-body population of the place.
As soon as Switchblade and Jack High and Turkey Buzzard landed,
They were rushed inside and all the doors barred.
About three minutes later, the Hickok outfit started coming in,
first aircraft and then armor.
They gave that town a regular Georgie Patton-style blitzing.
Yes, I'm only sorry I wasn't there to see it, Stonehenge put in.
They knocked down or burned most of the shanties,
and then they went to work on the jail.
The aircraft began dumping those fire bombs and stun bombs they used to stop Super Cow stampede,
and the tank guns began to punch holes in the walls.
As soon as kettlebelly saw what he had on his hands,
he radioed a call for Ranger protection.
Our friend Captain Nelson went out to see what the trouble was.
Yes, I got the story on that from Nelson, Peros put in.
Much as he hated to do it, he had to protect the bones.
And as soon as he'd taken a hand, Hickok had to call off his gang.
But he was smart.
He grabbed everything relating to the killing.
the air car and the twenty-millimeter auto rifle in particular, and he's keeping them under cover.
Very few people know about that, or about the fact that on physical evidence alone,
he has the killing penned on the bony so well that they'll never get away with this story of being merely innocent witnesses.
The rest, Mr. Silk, is up to us, thrombly said.
I have Colonel Hickok's assurance that he will give us every assistance,
but we simply must see to it that those creatures with the outlandish names are convicted.
I didn't have a chance to say anything to that.
At the moment, one of the servants usured Captain Nelson toward us.
Good evening, Captain, I greeted the Ranger.
Join us, seeing that you're on foreign sorrel, and consequently not on duty.
He sat down with us and poured a drink.
I thought you might be interested, he said.
We gave that waiter a going over.
We wanted to know who put him up to it.
He tried to sell us the line that he was a new Texan,
patriot trying to kill a tyrant, but we finally got the truth out of him. He was paid a thousand
pesos to do the job by a character they called Snake Eyes Sam Boney, a cousin of the three who
killed Mr. Cumshaw. Nephew of Kettlebelly Sam, Peros interjected, you pick him up? Nelson shook
his head disgustedly. He's out in the high grass somewhere. We're still looking for him.
Oh yes, and I just heard that the trial of switchblade and Jack High and Turkey Buzzard,
It's scheduled for three days from now.
You'll be notified in due farm tomorrow, but I thought you might like to know in advance.
I certainly do, and thank you, Captain.
We were just talking about you when you arrived, I mentioned, about the arrest or rescue
or whatever you call it of that trio.
Yeah, one of the jobs I'm not particularly proud of.
Pity, Hickok's boys didn't get hold of them before I got there.
It has saved everybody a lot of trouble.
Just what impression did you get at the time, Captain, I asked.
You think kettlebelly knew in advance what they were going to do?
Sure he did.
They had the whole jail fortified.
Not like a jail usually is, to keep people from getting out, but like a fort to keep people from getting in.
There were no prisoners inside.
I found out that they had all been released that morning.
He stopped, seemed to be weighing his words, then continued, speaking very slowly.
Let me tell you first some things I can't testify to, a couple of things that I figure went wrong with their plans.
One of Colonel Hitchcock's men was on the porch to greet Mr. Comshaw, and he recognized the Bonnies.
That was lucky.
Otherwise, we might still be looking and wondering who did the shooting, which might not have been good for New Texas.
He cocked an eyebrow, and I nodded.
The Solar League, in similar cases, had regarded such planetary governments as due for change,
without notice, and had promptly made the change.
Number two, Captain Nelson continued, that AA shot which hit the air car, I don't think they
intended to land at the jail. It was just sort of a reserve hiding hole, but because they'd been
hit they had to land, and they'd been slowed down so much that they couldn't dispose of the
evidence before the colonel's boys were tapping on the door and asking couldn't they come in.
I gather the colonel's task force was becoming insistent.
prompted him. The big ranger grinned. Now we're on things I can testify to. When I got there,
what had been the cell block was on fire, and they were trying to defend the mayor's office and
the warden's office. Them bony's gave me the line that they'd been witnesses to the killing of Mr.
Comshaw by Colonel Hickok, and that the Hickok outfit was trying to rub them out to keep them from
testifying. I just laughed and started to walk out. Finally they confessed that they'd shot
Mr. Comshaw, but they claimed it was right of action against political malfeasance.
When they did that I had to take them in.
They confessed to you before you arrested them. I wanted to be sure of that point.
That's right. I'm going to testify to that Monday when the trial is held.
And that ain't all. We got their fingerprints off the car, off the gun, off some shells,
still in the clip, and we have the gun identified to the shells that kill Mr. Combshow.
We got their confession fully corroborated.
I asked him if he'd give Mr. Peros a complete statement of what he'd seen and heard at Montyville.
He was more than willing, and I suggested that they go into Paros's office where they'd be undisturbed.
The Ranger and my intelligence man got up and took a bottle of super-burbon with him.
As they were leaving, Nelson turned to Hoddy, who was still with us.
You'll have to look to your laurels, Hoddy, Nelson said.
your ambassador seemed to be making quite a reputation for himself as a gunfighter.
Look, Hoddy said as though he was facing Nelson.
I felt he was really talking to Stonehenge.
Before I'd go up against this guy, I'd shoot myself.
That way I would be sure I'd get a nice, painless job.
After they were gone, I turned to Stonehenge and thrombly.
This seemed to be a carefully prearranged killing.
They agreed.
Then they knew in advance
that Mr. Comshaw would be on Colonel Hickok's front steps at about 10.30.
How did they find that out?
Why, why I'm sure I don't know, Thromble said.
It was most obvious that the idea had never occurred to him before,
and a side-glance told me that the thought was new to Stonehenge also.
Colonel Hitchcock called it 0-900.
Mr. Cumshaw left the embassy in an air car a few minutes later.
It took an hour and a half to fly out to the...
Hitchcock Ranch?
I don't like the implications, Mr. Soak, Stonehenge said.
I can't believe that was how it happened.
In the first place, Colonel Hickok isn't that sort of man.
He doesn't use his hospitality to trap people to their death.
In the second place, he wouldn't have needed to use people like these bonys.
His own men would do anything for him.
In the third place, he is one of the leaders of the annexation movement here, and this was
obviously an anti-annixation job.
and in the fourth place.
Hold it, I checked him.
Are you sure he's really on the annexation side?
He opened his mouth to answer me quickly, then closed it,
waited a moment, answered me slowly.
I can guess what you're thinking, Mr. Silk.
But remember, when Colonel Hickok came here as our first ambassador,
he came here as a man with a mission.
He had studied the problem and he believed in what he came for.
He has never changed.
Let me emphasize this, sir.
We know he has never changed.
For our own protection, we've had to check on every real leader of the annexation movement,
screening them for crackpots who might do us more harm than good.
The Colonel is with us all the way.
And now in the fourth place, underlined by what I've just said,
the Colonel and Mr. Cumshaw were really friends.
Now you're talking, Hottie burst in.
I've known A.J. ever since I was a kid.
ever since he married old colonel mctod's daughter that just ain't the way a j works on the other hand mr ambasseler thrombly said keeping his gaze fixed on hoddy's hands and apparently ready to both duck and shut up if hoddy moved a finger
you will recall i think that colonel hiccock did do everything in his power to see that these bonnie brothers did not reach court alive and let me add he was getting bolder tilting his chin up a little
It's a choice as simple as this.
Either Colonel Hickok told him, or we have, and this is unbelievable, a traitor in the embassy itself.
That statement rocked even haughty.
Even though he was probably no more than one of Natholinko's little men,
he still couldn't help knowing how thoroughly we were screened, indoctrinated, and, let's face it, mind-conditioned.
A traitor among us was unthinkable because we just couldn't think that way.
The silence, the sorrow, were palpable.
Then, I remembered, told them Hickok himself had been a department man.
Stonehenge gripped his head between his hands and squeezed as if trying to bring out an idea.
All right, Mr. Ambassador, where are we now?
Nobody who knew could have told the body boys where Mr. Comshaw would be at ten-thirty,
yet the three men were there waiting for him.
You take it from there.
I'm just a simple military man, and I'm ready to go back to the simple military life as soon as possible."
I turned to Gomez.
There could be an obvious explanation.
Bring us the official telescreen log.
Let's see what calls were made.
Maybe Mr. Comshaw himself said something to someone that gave his destination away.
That won't be necessary, thrombly told me.
None of the junior clerks were on duty, and I took the only three calls that came in myself.
First, there was the call from Colonel Hickok, then the call about the wristwatch, and then a couple of hours later the call from the Hickok ranch about Mr. Cumshaw's death.
What was the call about the wristwatch, I asked.
Oh, that was from the Zisrof Embassy, Thromble said.
For some time, Mr. Cumshaw has been trying to get one of the very precise watches, which is the Sissrof manufacturer on their home planet.
The Sissrof ambassador called that day to tell him that they had one.
for him and wanted to know where it was to be delivered.
I told them the ambassador was out, and they wanted to know where they could call him, and I—
I had never seen a man look more horror-stricken.
Oh, my God, I'm the one who told them.
What could I say?
Not much, but I tried.
How could you know, Mr. Thromley?
You did the natural, the normal, the proper thing on a call from one ambassador to another.
I turned to the others, who, like me, preferred not to look at Thumbly.
They must have had a spy outside who told them the ambassador had left the embassy.
Alone, right?
And that was just what they'd been waiting for.
And what's this about the watch, though?
There's more to this than a simple favor from one ambassador to another.
My turn, Mr. Ambassador, Stonehenge interrupted.
Mr. Comshaw had been trying to get one of the things at my insistent.
Naval intelligence is very much interested in them, and we want a sample.
The Sussroff watches are very peculiar.
They're operated by radium decay, which, of course, is a universal constant.
They're uniform to a tenth second, and they're all synchronized with the official time
at the capital city of the principal Zsawf planet, the time used by the Sissrof Navy.
Stonehenge deliberately paused.
Let that last phrase hang heavily in the air for a moment, then he continued.
They're supposed to be used in religious observances, timing hours of prayer, I believe.
They can, of course, have other uses.
For example, I can imagine all those watches giving the wearers a light electric shock,
ringing a little bell all over New Texas at exactly the same moment.
And then I can imagine all this a sroff running down into nice deep holes in the ground.
He looked at his own watch.
And that reminds me, my guess.
A gang of pirates are at the spaceport by now, ready to blast off.
I wonder if someone could drive me there.
I'll drive him, boss.
Hottie volunteered.
I ain't doing nothing else.
I was wondering how I could break that up plausibly and without betraying my suspicions
when Ferros and Captain Nelson came out and joined us.
I have a lot of stuff here, Peros said.
Stuff we never seem to have noticed.
For instance, I interrupted.
Commander Stone's Inge is going.
to the spaceport now, I said, suppose you ride with him and brief him on what you learned
on the way.
Then when he's aboard, come back and tell us.
Hoddy looked at me for a long ten seconds.
His expression started by being exasperated and ended by betraying grudging admiration.
End of Chapter 6.
Chapter 7 of Lone Star Planet by H. Beam Piper and John J. McGuire.
This Libre-Vox recording is in the public domain.
Chapter 7
The next morning, which was Saturday, I put Thrumbley in charge of the routine work of the embassy,
but first instructed him to answer all inquiries about me with a statement literally true,
that I was too immersed in work of clearing up matters left unfinished after the death of the former ambassador for any social activities.
Then I called the Hickok Ranch in the west end of Sam Houston Continent, mentioning an invitation
the colonel and his daughter had extended me and told them I would be out to see them before noon
that same day.
With Hottie Ringo driving the car, I arrived about ten hundred and was welcomed by Gail and
her father who had flown out the evening before after the barbecue.
Hoddy, accompanied by a ranger and one of Hickok's ranch hands, all three disguised in
Gabby and Greastained castoffs, borrowed at the ranch, and driving a dilapidated air car from the
ranch junkyard, were sent to visit the slum village of Montyville.
They spent all day there, posing as a trio of range tramps out of favor with the law.
I spent the day with Gail, flying over the range, visiting Hickok's herd camps, and slaughtering
crews.
It was a pleasant day, and I managed to make it constructive as well.
Because of their huge size, they ran to a live weight of around 15 tons, and their uncertain
disposition, super cows are not really domesticated.
Each rancher owned the herds of his own land, chiefly by virtue of constant watchfulness
over them.
There were always a couple of helicopters hovering over each herd, with fast fighter planes
waiting on call to come in and drop fire bombs or stun bombs in front of them if they
showed a disposition to wander too far. Naturally, things of this size could not be shipped
live to the market. They were butchered on the range, and the meat hauled out in big copter trucks.
Slaughtering was dangerous and exciting work. It was done with medium tanks, mounting 50-millimeter
guns, usually working at the rear of the herd, although a super-cow herd could change directions
almost in a second, and the killing tanks would then find themselves in front of a stampede.
I saw several such incidents.
Once, Gail and I had to dive in with our car and help turn such a stampede.
We got back to the ranch house shortly before dinner.
Gail went at once to change clothes.
Colonel Hickok and I sat down together for a drink in his library, a beautiful room.
I especially admired the walls, paneled and plastic.
hardened super-cow leather.
What do you think of our planet now, Mr. Silk?
Colonel Hickok asked.
Well, Colonel, your final message to the state was part of the briefing I received, I replied.
I must say that I agree with your opinions, especially with your opinion of local political
practices.
Politics is nothing here, if not exciting and exacting.
You don't understand it, though.
That was about half-question and half-statement.
particularly our custom of using politicians as clay pigeons.
Well, it is rather unusual.
Yes.
The dryness in his tone was a paragraph of comment on my understatement,
and it's fundamental to our system of government.
You were out all afternoon with Gail.
You saw how we have to handle the super cow herds.
Well, it was upon the fact that every rancher must have at his disposal a powerful
force of aircraft and armor, easily convertible to military uses, that our political freedom
rusts. You see, our government is in effect an oligarchy of the big landowners and ranchers,
who, in combination, have enough military power to overturn any planetary government overnight.
And on the local level, it is a paternalistic feudalism. That's something that would have
stood the hair of any 20th century liberal on end, and it gives us the freest government
anywhere in the galaxy.
There were a number of occasions, much less frequent now than formerly, when coalitions of
big ranchers combined their strength and marched on the planetary government to protect
their rights from government encroachment.
That sort of thing could only be resorted to in defense of some inherent right, and never
to infringe on the rights of others.
Because in the latter case, other armed coalitions would have arisen, as they did once or twice
during the first three decades of New Texas history to resist.
So the right of armed intervention by people when the government invaded or threatened their rights
became an acknowledged part of our political system.
And this arises as a natural consequence.
You can't give a man with 500 employees and a force of tanks and aircraft the right to resist the government,
then at the same time deny that right to a man who has only his own pistol or machete.
I noticed the president that the other officials have themselves surrounded by guards to protect them from individual attack, I said.
Why doesn't the government, as such, protect itself with an army and air force large enough to resist any possible coalition of big ranchers?
Because we won't let the government get that strong, the colonel said forcefully.
That's one of our basic premises.
We have no standing army, only the new Texas Rangers, and the legislature.
won't authorize any standing army or appropriate funds to support one.
Any member of the legislature who tried it would get what Austin Maverick got a couple of weeks ago
or what Sam Sultkin got eight years ago when he proposed the law for the compulsory registration
and licensing of firearms.
The opposition to that tax scheme of Mavericks wasn't because of what it would cost the
public in taxes, but from fear of what the government could do with the money after they got it.
Keep a government poor and weak, and it's your servant.
Let it get rich and powerful, and it's your master.
We don't want any masters here on New Texas.
But the president has a bodyguard, I noted.
Casualty rate was too high, Hickok explained.
Remember, the president's job is inherently impossible.
He has to represent all the people.
I thought that over, could see the illogical logic, but—
How about your job?
rancher oligarchy. He laughed. Son, if I started acting like a master around this ranch in the
morning, they'd find my body in an irrigation ditch before sunset. Sure, if you have a real army,
you can keep the men under your thumb, use one regiment or one division to put down mutiny
in another, but when you have only 500 men, all of whom know everybody else and all of them
armed, you just act real considerate of them if you want to keep on living.
Then would you say that the opposition to annexation comes from the people who are afraid
that if New Texas enters the Solar League there will be league troops set here and this
interesting system of ensuring government responsibility to the public would be brought to an end?
Yes, if you can show the people of this planet that the League won't interfere with local political
practices. You'll have a 99.95% majority in favor of annexation. We're too close to the Shereff
star cluster out here, not to see the benefits of joining the Solar League. We left the Hickok Ranch
on Sunday afternoon, and while Hottie guided our aircar back to New Austin, I had a little
time to revise some of my ideas about New Texas. That is, I had time to think during those few moments
when Hattie wasn't taking advantage of our diplomatic community to invent new air-ground traffic laws.
My thoughts alternated between the pleasure of remembering Gail's gay company
and the gloom of understanding the complete implications of the Colonel's clarifying lectures.
Against the background of his remarks, I could find myself appreciating the Gopal-Klung Natholinko reasoning.
The only way to cut the Gordian knot was to have another Solar League ambassador
killed. And whenever I could escape thinking about the fact that the new ambassador to be the
clay pigeon was me, I found myself wondering if I wanted the lead to take over. Annexation, yes.
New Texas customs would be protected under a treaty of annexation. But the justified conquest
urged by Machiavelli Jr., no. I was still struggling with the problem when we reached the embassy
about 1700. Everyone was there, including Stonehenge, who had returned two hours earlier
with the good news that the fleet had moved into position only sixty-light minutes off
Capella four. I had reached the point in my thinking where I had decided it was useless to keep
hottie and Stonehenge apart, except that's an exercise and mental agility. Inso much as my brain
was already weightlifting, swinging from a flying trapeze to elusive flying rings while doing
triple somersaults and at the same time juggling seven India clubs, I skipped the whole matter.
But I'm fairly certain that it wasn't until then that Hoddy had a chance to deliver his
letter of credence to Stonehenge. After dinner, we gathered in my office for our coffee and final
conference before the opening of the trial the next morning. Stonehenge spoke first,
looking around the table at everyone except me. No matter what happens, we have the fleet within call.
Seroddy's been active picking up those Zorov meteor mining boats.
They no longer have a tight screen around the system.
We do.
I don't think that anyone except us knows that the fleet's where it is.
No matter what happens, I thought glumly,
and the phrase explained why he hadn't been able to look at me.
Well, boss, I gave you my end of it coming in, Hoddy said.
Want me to go over it again?
All right.
In Bonneville, we found half a dozen people who can swear that kettlebelly Sam Bonnie was making preparations to protect those three brothers an hour before Ambassador Comshaw was shot.
The whole town soared that hell at kettlebelly for antagonizing the Hickok outfit and getting the place shot up the way it was.
And we have witnesses that kettlebelly was in some kind of deal with Zuzroff, too.
The rangers gathered up eight of them who can swear to the preparations and to the fact that kettlebelly had Zorov visitors on different occasions before the shooting.
That's what we want, Stonehenge said.
Something that'll connect this murder with the Zerov.
Well, wait till you hear what I've got, Pharaohs told him.
In the first place, we traced the gun and the aircar.
The Badi brothers bought them from Zorov merchants for ridiculously nominal prices.
The merchant who sold the air car is normally in the dry goods business, and the one who sold the auto rifles runs a toy shop.
In their whole lives, those three boys never had enough money among them to pay the list price of the gun, let alone the car.
That is, not until a week before the murder.
They got prosperous all of a sudden, I asked.
Yes, two weeks before the shooting, Cattle Belly Sam's bank account got a sudden transfusion.
some anonymous spinifactor deposited 250,000 pesos, about $100,000 to his credit.
He drew out 75,000 of it, and some of the money turned up again in the hands of Switchblade
and Jack-Eye and Turkey Buzzard.
Then a week before you landed here, he got another hundred thousand from the same anonymous
source, and he drew out twenty thousand of that.
We think that was the money that went to pay for the attempted knife job on Hutchinson.
Two days before the barbecue, the waiter deposited a thousand at the new Austin Packers
and Shippers Trust.
Can you get that introduced as evidence at the trial?
I asked.
Sure, cattle belly banks at a town called Crooked Creek, about 40 miles from Bonneville.
We have witnesses from the bank.
I also got the dope on the line the Boney brothers are going to take at the trial.
They have a lawyer, Clement A. Sydney, a member of what passes for the Socialist Party.
party on this planet, the defense will take the line of full denial of everything.
The bonys are just three poor but honest boys who are being framed by the corrupt tools
of the big ranching interests.
Hottie made an impolite noise.
What do we got to worry about then, he demanded.
They're a cinch for conviction.
I agree with that, Stonehenge said.
If they tried to base their defense on political conviction and opposition by the Solo
League, they might have a chance. This way they haven't.
All right, gentlemen, I said. I take it that we're agreed that we must all follow a single
line of policy and not work at cross-purposes to each other. They all agreed to that instantly,
but with a questioning note in their voices. Well, then, I trust you all realize that we
cannot, under any circumstances, allow those three brothers to be convicted in this court.
I added.
There was a moment of startled silence, while Soddy and Stonehenge and Faroes and
Thrombley were understanding what they had just heard.
Then Stonehenge cleared his throat and said,
"'Mr. Ambassador, I'm sure that you have some excellent reasons for that remarkable
statement, but I must say—'
It was a really colossal error on somebody's part, I said, that this case was allowed
to get into the Court of Political Justice.
it never should have. And if we take a part in the prosecution or allow those men to be convicted,
we will establish a precedent to support the principle that a foreign ambassador is on this planet
defined as a practicing local politician. I will invite you to digest that for a moment.
A moment was all they needed. Thrombley was horrified and dithered incoherently.
Stonehenge frowned and fidgeted with some papers in front of him.
I could see several thoughts gathering behind his eyes, including, I was sure, a new view of his instructions from Cologne.
Even Hattie got at least a part of it.
Why, that means that anybody can bump off any diplomat he doesn't like, he began.
That is only part of it, Mr. Ringo, thromily told him.
It also means that a diplomat, instead of a diplomat, instead of a diplomat.
of being regarded as the representative of his own government becomes, in effect, a functionary
of the government of New Texas.
Why, all sorts of complications could arise.
It certainly would impair, shall we say, the principle of extraterritoriality of embassies.
Stonehenge picked it up, and it would practically destroy the principle of diplomatic
immunity.
My God!
Hoddy looked around nervously as though he could already hear an army of Newttax.
Texas Rangers, each with a warrant for Heidi Ringo, battling at the gates.
We'll have to do something, Gomez, the Secretary of the Embassy, said.
I don't know what, Stonehenge said.
The obvious solution would be, of course, to bring charges against those Bonnie Boys on simple
first-degree murder, which would be tried in an ordinary criminal court.
But it's too late for that now.
We wouldn't have time to prevent their being arraigned in this political justice court.
and once a defendant is brought into court on this planet, he cannot be brought into court again
for the same act.
Not the same crime, the same act.
I had been thinking about this, and I was ready.
Look, we must bring those bodyboys to trial.
It's the only effective way of demonstrating to the public the simple fact that Ambassador
Kumsha was murdered at the instigation of the shir-off.
We dare not allow them to be convicted in the Court of Political Justice for the reasons
already stated.
And to maintain the prestige of the Solar League, we dare not allow them to go unpunished.
We can have it one way, Paros said, and maybe we can have it two ways, but I'll be damned
if I can see how we can have it all three ways.
I wasn't surprised that he didn't see it.
He hadn't had the same urgency goading him.
which had forced me to find the answer.
It wasn't an answer that I liked, but I was in the position where I had no choice.
Here's what we have to do, gentlemen, I began, and from the respectful way they regarded me,
from the attention they were giving my words, I got a sudden thrill of pride.
For the first time since my scrambled arrival, I was really Ambassador Stephen Silk.
End of Chapter 7
Chapter 8 of Lone Star Planet by H. Beam Piper and John J. McGuire.
This Librivox recording is in the public domain.
Chapter 8
A couple of New Texas Ranger tanks met the embassy car, four blocks from the Statehouse,
and convoyed us into the Central Plaza, where the barbecue had been held on the Friday afternoon that I had arrived on New Texas.
There was almost as dense a crowd as the last time I had seen the place,
but they were quieter, to the extent that there were no bands and no shootings,
no cowbells, no whistles.
The barbecue pits were going again, however,
and hawkers were pushing or propelling their little wagons about vending sandwiches.
I saw half a dozen big twenty-foot teleview screens,
apparently wired from the courtroom.
As soon as the embassy car and its escorting tanks reached the plaza, an ovation broke out.
I was cheered with a high-pitched yee-by of new Texans, and adjourned and implored not to let them
so-and-s get away with it. There was a veritable army of rangers on guard at the doors of the courtroom.
The only spectators being admitted to the courtroom seemed to be prominent citizens with enough pull to secure passes.
Inside, some of the spectator benches had been removed to clear the front of the room.
In the cleared space, there was one bulky shape under a cloth cover that seemed to be the air car
and another cloth-covered shape that looked like a 50-millimeter dual-purpose gun.
Smaller exhibits, including a 20-millimeter auto rifle, were piled on the Friends of the Court table.
The prosecution table was already occupied.
Colonel Hickok, who waved a greeting to me, three or four men who looked like well-to-do ranchers,
and a delegation of lawyers.
Samuel Goodham!
Peros beside me whispered, indicating a big, heavyset man with white hair,
dressed in a dark suit of the cut that had been fashionable on Terra seventy-five years ago.
Best criminal lawyer on the planet! Hickok must have hired him.
There was quite a swarm at the center table, too.
Some of them were ranchers, a couple in aggressively shabby work clothes, and there were several
members of the diplomatic corps. I shook hands with them and gathered that they, like myself,
were worried about the precedent that might be established by this trial.
While I was introducing Hottie Ringo as my attache extraordinary, which was no less
to the truth, the defense party came in.
There were only three lawyers. A little rodent-faced fellow, whom
Peros pointed out as Clement Sidney, and two assistants, and guarded by a ranger and a couple
of court bailiffs, the three defendants, Switchblade Joe, Jack High Abe, and Turkey buzzard Tom
Bonnie.
There was probably a year or so age difference from one to another, but they certainly had
a common parentage.
They all had pale eyes and narrow, loose-lipped faces.
Subnormal and probably psychopathic, I thought.
Jack-eye Abe had his left on.
arm in a sling and his left shoulder in a plaster cast.
The buzz of conversation among the spectators altered in tones subtly and took on a note
of hostility as they entered and seated themselves.
The balcony seemed to be crowded with press representatives.
Several telecast cameras and sound pickups had been rigged to cover the front of the room
from various angles, a feature that had been missing from the trial I had seen with Gail on
Friday.
Then the judges entered from a door behind the bench, which must have opened from a passageway under the plaza, and the court was called to order.
The president-judge was the same Nelson who had presided at the Watley trial, and the first thing on the agenda seemed to be the selection of a new board of associate judges.
Paros explained in a whisper that the board which had served on the previous trial would sit until that could be done.
A slip of paper was drawn from a box and a name was called.
A man sitting on one of the front rows of spectator seats got up and came forward.
One of Sidney's assistants rummaged through a card file he had in front of him
and handed a card to the chief of the defense.
At once Sidney was on his feet.
Challenged for cause, he called out.
This man is known to have declared in conversation at the bar of the Silver Pesosaloon
here in New Austin, that these three boys, my clients, ought to all be hanged higher than
Hammond.
Yes, I said that, the Veneery Man declared.
I'll repeat it right here.
All three of these murdering skunks ought to be hanged higher than—
Your Honor?
Sidney almost screamed.
If, after hearing this man's brazen declaration of bigoted class hatred against my clients,
he is allowed to sit on that bench.
Judge Nelson pounded with his gavel.
You don't have to instruct me in my judicial duties, Counselor, he said.
The Veneery Man has obviously disqualified himself by giving evidence of prejudice.
Next name.
The next man was challenged.
He was a retired packing-house operator in New Austin,
and had once expressed the opinion that Bonneville and everyone in it ought to be H-bombed off the face of New Texas.
This Sydney seemed to have gotten the name of everybody likely to be called for court duty
and had something on each one of them because he went on like that all morning.
You know what I think? Stonehenge whispered to me, leaning over behind Paros.
I think he's just stalling to keep the court in session until the Zorov fleet gets here.
I wish we could get hold of one of those wristwatches.
I can get you one before evening, Hoddy offered, if you don't care what has.
happens to the mut that's wearing it.
Better not, I decided.
Might tip them off to what we suspect.
And we don't really need one.
Sir Rodney will have patrols out far enough to get warning and time.
We took an hour at noon for lunch, and then it began again.
By 1647, fifty minutes before court should be adjourned,
Judge Nelson ordered the bailiff to turn the clock back to thirteen hundred.
The clock was turned back again when it reached.
reached 1645. By this time, Clement Sidney was probably the most unpopular man on New Texas.
Finally, Colonel Andrew J. Hickok rose to his feet. Your Honor, the present court is not obliged to retire
from the bench until another court has been chosen as they are now sitting as the court in being.
I propose that the trial began with the present court on the bench.
Sidney began yelling protests.
Hottie Ringo pulled his neckerchief around under his left ear and held the ends above his head.
Nana Debattian, the ambassador from Beta Cephas four, drew his largest knife and began trying the edge on a sheet of paper.
Well, Your Honor, I certainly do not wish to act in an obstructionist manner.
The defense agrees to accept the present court, Sidney decided.
Prosecution agrees to accept the present court.
Court, Goodham Perreton.
The present court will continue on the bench to try the case of the Friends of Silas Comshaw
deceased versus Switchblade Joe Bonnie, Jack High Abe Bonny, Turkey buzzard bomb Bonnie, and owls.
Judge Nelson rapped with his gavel.
Court is hereby adjourned until 0,900 tomorrow.
End of Chapter 8.
Chapter 9 of Lone Star Planet by H. Beam Piper and John J. McGuire.
This Libre-Vox recording is in the public domain.
Chapter 9
The trial got started the next morning with a minimum amount of objections from Sydney.
The charges and specifications were duly read.
The three defendants pleaded not guilty, and then Goodham advanced with a paper in his hand to address the court.
Sidney scampered up to take his position beside him.
Your Honor?
The prosecution wishes subject to...
to agreement of the defense to enter the following stipulations, to wit, first, that the late
Silas Comshaw was a practicing politician within the meaning of the law, second, that he is now
dead, and came to his death in the manner attested to by the coroner of Sam Houston Continent.
Third, that he came to his death at the hands of the defendants here present.
In all my planning I'd forgotten that.
I couldn't let those stipulations stand without protest, and at the same time if I protested
the characterization of Comshaw as a practicing politician, the trial could easily end right
there.
So I prayed for a miracle, and Clement Sidney promptly obliged me.
Defense won't stipulate anything, he barked.
My clients here are victims of a monstrous conspiracy, a conspiracy to confil the true facts of
death of Silas Comshaw.
They are never to have been arrested or brought here, and if the prosecution wants to establish
anything, they can do it by testimony in the regular and lawful way.
This practice of freewheeling stipulation is only one of the many devices by which the courts
of this planet are being perverted to serve the corrupt and unjust ends of a gang of
reactionary landowners.
Judge Nelson's gavel hit the bench with a crack like a rifle.
shot. Mr. Sidney. Injustice to your clients, I would hate to force them to change lawyers
in the middle of their trial. But if I hear another remark like that about the courts of New
Texas, that's exactly what will happen, because you'll be in jail for contempt. Is that clear,
Mr. Sidney? I settled back with a deep sigh of relief which got me, I noticed, curious stairs
from my fellow ambassadors. I disregarded the questions in their glances. I disregarded the questions in their
glances. I had what I wanted. They began calling up the witnesses. First, the doctor who had
certified Ambassador Comshaw's death. He gave a concise description of the wounds which had killed
my predecessor. Sidney was trying to make something out of the fact that he was Hickok's family
physician and consuming more time when I got up. Your Honor, I am present here as Amicus Corrier because
of the obvious interest which the government of the Solar League has in this case.
Objection, Sidney yelled.
Please state it, Nelson invited.
This is the court of the people of the planet of New Texas.
This foreign emissary of the Solar League set here to conspire with New Texan traders to the end
that New Texans shall be reduced to a supine and rapist sat trappy of the all-devouring empire of the galaxy.
Judge Nelson rapped sharply.
Friends of the court are defined as persons having a proper interest in the case.
As this case arises from the death of the former ambassador of the Solar League,
I cannot see how the press and ambassador and his staff can be excluded.
Overruled? He nodded to me.
Continue, Mr. Ambassador.
As I understand, I have the same rights of cross-examination of witnesses as counsel for the
prosecution and defensed. Is that correct, Your Honor? It was, so I turn to the witness.
I suppose, doctor, that you have had quite a bit of experience in your practice with gunshot wounds?
He chuckled, Mr. Ambassador. It is gunshot wound cases which keep the practice of medicine and
surgery alive on this planet. Yes, I definitely have. Now, you say that the deceased was hit
by six different projectiles. Right shoulder almost
completely severed, right lung, right ribs blown out of the chest, spleen and kidneys so intermingled
as to be practically one, and left legs severed by complete shattering of the left pelvis and hip
joint. That's right. I picked up the 20-millimeter auto rifle. It weighed a good 60 pounds from
the table, and asked him if this weapon could have inflicted such wounds. He agreed that it both
could and had. This the usual type of weapon used in your usual type of weapon used in your
New Texas political liquidations, I asked.
Certainly not.
The usual weapons are pistols, sometimes a hunting rifle or a shotgun.
I asked the same question when I cross-examine the ballistic witness.
Is this the usual type of weapon used in your new Texas political liquidations?
No, not at all.
That's a very expensive weapon, Mr. Ambassador.
It wasn't even manufactured on this planet, made by the...
Siroff Starcluster. A weapon like that sells for five, six hundred pesos. It's used for shooting
really big game, supermastodon, and things like that, and of course for combat. It seems, I remarked,
but the defense is overlooking an obvious point here. I doubt if these three defendants ever in all
their lives had among them the price of such a weapon. That, of course, brought Sidney to his
feet, sputtering objections to this attempt to disparage the honest poverty of his clients,
which only helped to call attention to the point.
Then the prosecution called in a witness called David Crockett Longfellow.
I'd met him at the Hickok Ranch.
He was Hickok's butler.
He limped from an old injury which had retired him from work on the range.
He was sworn in and testified to his name and occupation.
Do you know these three defendants?
Goodham asked him.
"'Yeah, I even marked one of them for future identification,' Longfellow replied.
Sidney was up at once, shouting objections.
After he was quietened down, Goodham remarked that he'd come to that point later,
and began a line of questioning to establish that Longfellow had been on the Hickok ranch
on the day when Silas Comshaw was killed.
"'Now,' Goodham said,
will you relate to the court the matters of interest which came to your personal observation on that day?
Longfellow began his story. At about, oh, 900, I was dusting up and straightening things in the library,
and while the colonel was at his desk. All of a sudden he says to me,
Davey, suppose you call the solar embassy and see if Mr. Cumshaw is doing anything to date.
If he isn't, ask him if he wants to come out.
I was working right beside the telescreen.
So I called the Solar League Embassy.
Mr. Thrombley took the call, and I asked him was Mr. Comshaw around.
By this time the colonel got through with what he was doing at the desk and came over to the screen.
I went back to my work, but I heard the colonel asking Mr. Combshaw, could he come out for the day?
And Mr. Combshaw saying, yes, he could.
He'd be out about ten-thirty.
Well, long about ten-thirty is there, car.
came in and landed on the drive.
Little single-seat job that he drove himself.
He landed in about a hundred feet from the outside veranda like he usually did and got out.
Then this other car came dropping in from out of nowhere.
I didn't pay much attention, thought it might be one of the other ambassadors that Mr. Cumsaw's
brung along.
But Mr. Cumshaw turned around and looked at it, and then he started to run for the veranda.
I was standing in the doorway when I seen him starting to run.
I jumped out on the porch, quick-like, and pulled my gun, and then this auto-rifle began
firing out of the other car.
There was only eight or ten shots fired from this car, but most of them hit Mr. Comshaw.
Good fellow waited a few moments.
Longfellow's voice had choked, and there was a twitching about his face as though he
were trying to suppress tears.
Now, Mr. Longfellow, Goodham said, did you recognize the people who were
in the car from which the shots came?
Yeah, like I said, I cut a mark on one of them.
That one there, Jack High Abe Bonnie.
He was handling the gun, and from where I was, he had his left side to me.
I was trying for his head, but I always overshoot, so I have the habit of holding low.
This time I held too low.
He looked at Jack High in coldly poisonous hatred.
I'll be sorry about that as long as I live.
And who else was in the car?
The other two curds out of the same litter, switchblade and turkey buzzard over there.
Further questioning revealed that Longfellow had had no direct knowledge of the pursuit
or the siege of the jail in Bonneville.
Colonel Hickok had taken personal command of that,
and had left Longfellow behind to call the Solar League Embassy and the Rangers.
He had made no attempt to move the body,
but had left it lying in the driveway until the doctor and the rangers arrived.
Goodham went to the middle table and picked up a heavy automatic pistol.
I call the court's attention to this pistol.
It is an 11-millimeter automatic manufactured by the Colt Firearms Company of New Texas,
a licensed subsidiary of the Coat Firearms Company of Terra.
He handed it to Longfellow.
Do you know this pistol? he asked.
Longfellow was almost insulted by the question.
Of course he knew his own pistol.
He recited the serial number and pointed to different scars and scratches on the weapon,
telling how they had been acquired.
The court accepts that Mr. Longfellow knows his own weapon, Nelson said.
I assume that this is the weapon with which he claimed to have shot Jack High Abe Manny.
It was, although Longfellow resented the qualification.
That's all.
Your witness, Mr. Sidney, could him said.
Sidney began an immediate attack.
questioning Longfellow's eyesight, intelligence, honesty, and integrity.
He tried to show personal enmity toward the Bonnies.
He implied that Longfellow had been conspiring with Comshaw
to bring about the conquest of New Texas by the Solar League.
The verbal exchange became so heated that both witness and attorney
had to be admonished repeatedly from the bench.
But at no point did Sidney shake Longfellow from his one fundamental statement
that the Bonnie brothers had shot Silas Comshaw, and that he had shot Jack High Abe Manny in the shoulder.
When he was finished, I got up and took over.
Mr. Longfellow, you say that Mr. Thrumbly answered the screen at the Soto League Embassy?
I began. You know, Mr. Thumbly?
Sure, Mr. Silk. He's been out at the ranch with Mr. Cumshaw a lot of times.
Well, besides yourself and Colonel Hickok and Mr. Cumshaw, and Ponshaw, and Ponshaw, and Ponshaw,
possibly Mr. Thornbley, who else knew that Mr. Comshaw would be at the ranch at 10.30 on that morning?
Nobody, but the air car had obviously been waiting for Mr. Comshaw.
The Bonnies must have had advanced knowledge.
My question made that pointlier, despite the obvious and reluctantly course-sustained, objections from Mr. Sidney.
That will be all, Mr. Longfellow. Thank you. Any questions from anybody else?
There being none, Longfellow stepped down.
It was then a few minutes before noon, so Judge Nelson recessed course for an hour and a half.
In the afternoon, the surgeon who had treated Jack High Abe Bonnie's wounded shoulder testified,
identifying the bullet which had been extracted from Bonnie's shoulder.
A ballistics man from Ranger Crime Lab followed him to the stand,
and testified that it had been fired from Longfellow's coat.
Then Ranger Captain Nelson took the stand.
His testimony was about what he had given me at the embassy,
with the exception that the Bonnie's admission that they had shot Ambassador Comshaw
was ruled out as having been made under duress.
However, Captain Nelson's testimony didn't need the confessions.
The cover was stripped off the air car,
and a couple of men with a power dolly dragged it out in front of the bench.
The Ranger Captain identified it as the cover.
car which he had found at the Bonneville jail. He went over it with an ultraviolet flashlight
and showed where he had written his name and the date on it with fluorescent ink. The effects of
AA fire were plainly evident on it. Then the other shrouded object was unveiled and identified
as the gun which had disabled the air car. Colonel Hickok identified the gun as the one which he
had fired on the air car. Finally, the ballistics expert was brought back to the
stand again to link the two by means of fragments found in the car.
Then Gurdon brought Cattle Belly Sam Bonnie to the stand.
The mayor of Bonneville was a man of fifty or so, short, partially bald, dressed in faded
blue-leave eyes, a frayed white shirt, and a grease-spotted vest.
There was absolutely no mystery about how he had acquired his nickname.
He discouraged a cut of tobacco into a spittoon, took the oath with unctuous solemnity,
then reloaded himself with another chew, and told his version of the attack on the jail.
At about 1045 on the day in question he testified, he had been in his office, hard at work
in the public service, when an air car, partially disabled by gunfire, had landed in the
street outside, and the three defendants had rushed in, claiming sanctuary.
From then on the story flowed along smoothly, following the lines predicted by Captain Nelson and Peros.
Of course he had given the fugitive shelter.
They had claimed to have been near to a political assassination and were in fear of their lives.
Under Sidney's cross-examination and coaching, he poured out the story of Bonneville's wrongs
at the hand of their reactionary landowners and the atrocious behavior of the Hickok Goon Gang.
Finally, after extracting the last drop of class hatred venom out of him, Sidney turned
him over to me.
How many men were inside the jail when the three defendants came claiming sanctuary?
I asked.
He couldn't rightly say, maybe four or five.
Closer twenty-five, according to the Rangers.
How many of them were prisoners in the jail?
Well, none.
The prisoners was all turned out that morning.
There was just common drunks, disorderly conduct cases, that kind of thing.
We turned them out so as we could make some repairs.
You turned them out because you were expected to have to defend the jail,
because you knew in advance that these three would be a long-claiming sanctuary,
and that Colonel Hickok's ranch hands would be right on their heels, didn't you?
I demanded.
It took a good five minutes before Sidney stopped shouting long enough for Judge Nelson
to sustain the objection.
You knew these young men all their lives, I take it.
What did you know about their financial circumstances, for instance?
Well, they've been ground down and kept poor by the big ranchers and the money guys.
Then weren't you surprised to see them driving such an expensive air car?
I don't know as it's such an expense.
He shut his mouth suddenly.
You know where they got the money to buy that car?
I pressed.
Cattlebelly Sam didn't answer.
from the man who paid them to murder Ambassador Silas Comshaw, I kept pressing.
Do you know how much they were paid for that job?
Do you know where the money came from?
Do you know who the go-between was and how much he got, and how much he kept for himself?
Was it the same source that paid for the recent attempt on President Hutchinson's life?
I refuse to answer, the witness declared, trying to shove his chest out about half as far as his middrift.
On the ground did it might incriminate or degrade me?
You can't degrade to Bonnie, a voice from the balcony put in.
So then, I replied to the voice, what he means is incriminate.
I turn to the witness.
That will be all excused.
As Bonnie left the stand and was let out the side door, Goodham addressed the bench.
Now, Your Honor, he said, I believe that the prosecution has succeeded indefinitely establishing that these three defendants
actually did fire the shot which on April 22nd, 2193,
deprived Silas come sure of his life.
We will now undertake to prove,
followed a long succession of witnesses,
each testifying to some public or private act of philanthropy,
some noble trait of character.
It was the sort of thing which the defense lawyer in the Watley case
had been so willing to stipulate.
Sidney, of course, tried to make it all out
to be part of a cynic.
conspiracy to establish a Soto League fifth column on New Texas.
Finally, the prosecution rested its case.
I entertained Gail and her father at the embassy that evening.
The street outside was crowded with New Texans, all of them on our side shouting slogans like
death to the bony's and vengeance for Comshaw, and annexation now.
Some of it was entirely spontaneous, too.
The Hickok's father and daughter were given a tremendous ovation when they finally left and
followed to their hotel by cheering crowds.
I saw one big banner lettered,
Don't let New Texas go to the dogs, and burying a crude picture of a Zorov.
I seem to recall having seen a couple of our Marines making that banner the evening before
in the embassy patio, but...
End of Chapter 9.
Chapter 10 of Lone.
Star Planet by H. Beam Piper and John J. McGuire. This Librivox recording is in the public domain.
Chapter 10. The next morning, the third of the trial, opened with the defense witnesses,
character witnesses for the three killers and witnesses to the political inequities of Silas
Comshaw. Neither Goodham nor I bothered to cross-examine the farmer. I couldn't see how any
lawyer, as shrewd as Sidney, has shown himself to be, would even draw.
dream of getting such an array of thugs, cut-throats, sluts, and slatterns into court as character
witnesses for anybody.
The latter, on the other hand, we went after unmercifully, revealing, under their enmity
for Comshaw a small, hard core of bigoted xenophobia and selfish fear.
Goodham did a beautiful job on that.
He seemed able, at a glance, to divine exactly what each witness's motivation was, and able to
to make him or her betray that motivation in its least admirable terms.
Finally, the defense rested about a quarter hour before noon.
I rose and addressed the court.
Your Honor, while both the prosecution and the defense have done an admirable job
in bringing out the essential facts of how my predecessor met his death,
there are many features about this case which are far from clear to me.
They will be even less clear to my government, which is composed of
men who have never set foot on this planet. For this reason I wish to call or recall certain
witnesses to clarify these points. Sydney, who had been shouting objections as soon as I had
gotten to my feet, finally managed to get himself recognized by the court. This Solar League
ambassador, Your Honor, is simply trying to use the courts of the planet of New Texas as a
sounding board for his imperialistic government's propaganda. You may reassure. You may reassure.
yourself, Mr. Sidney, Judge Nelson said. This court will not allow itself to be improperly
used or improperly swayed by the Ambassador of the Solar League. This court is interested only
in determining the facts regarding the case before it. You may call your witnesses,
Mr. Ambassador. He glanced at his watch. Court will now recess for an hour and a half. Can you
have them here by 1330? I assured him I could, after glancing across the room at Ranger, Captain
Nelson and catching his nod.
My first witness that afternoon was Thrombly.
After the formalities of getting his name and connection with the Solar League embassy on the
record, I asked him.
Mr. Thrombley, did you, on the morning of April 22nd, receive a call from the Hickok
ranch for Mr. Comshaw?
Yes, indeed, Mr. Ambassador.
The call was from Mr. Longfellow, Colonel Hickok's butler.
He asked if Mr. Cumsha was available.
It happened that Mr. Comshaw was in the same room with me, and he came directly to the screen.
Then Colonel Hickok appeared in the screen, and inquired if Mr. Cromsha could come to the ranch for the day.
He said something about Superdu shooting.
You heard Mr. Cumshaw tell Colonel Hickok that he would be out at the ranch at about 10.30?
Thromble said he had.
And to your knowledge, did anybody else at the embassy hear that?
Oh, no, sir.
We were in the ambassador's private office, and the screen they are.
is tap-proof.
And what other calls did you receive prior to Mr. Comshaw's death?
About fifteen minutes after Mr. Combshaw had left, the Sharoff's ambassador, called about a
personal matter.
As he was most anxious to contact Mr. Comshaw, I told him where he had gone.
Then, to your knowledge, outside of yourself, Colonel Hickok and his butler, the Shoroff
ambassador was the only person who could have known that Mr. Comshaw's car would be landing on
Colonel Hickok's drive at or about 10.30, is that correct? Yes, plus anybody whom the
Shiroff Ambassador might have told. Exactly, I pounced. Then I turned and gave the three
Bonnie brothers a sweeping glance. Plus anybody the Soroff Ambassador might have told,
that's all. Your witness, Mr. Sidney.
Sidney got up, started toward the witness stand, and then thought better of it.
No questions, he said.
The next witness was Mr. James Finnegan.
He was identified as cashier of the Crooked Creek National Bank.
I asked him if kettlebelly Sam Bonnie did business at his bank.
He said yes.
Anything unusual about Mayor Bonnie's account, I asked.
Well, it's been unusually active lately.
Ordinarily he carries around two, three thousand pesos, but about the first of April,
That took a big jump. Quite a big jump. Two hundred and fifty thousand pesos, all in a lump.
When did kettlebelly Sam deposit this large sum? I asked.
He didn't. The money came to us in a cashier's check on the rancher's trust company of New
Austin, with an anonymous letter asking that it be deposited to Mayor Bonnie's account.
The letter was typed on a sheet of yellow paper in basic English.
Do you have that letter now? I asked.
No, why don't?
After we'd recorded the new balance, a kettlebelly came storming in, raised in hell because
we'd recorded it.
He told me that if we ever got another deposit like that, we were to turn it over to him
and cash.
Then he wanted to see the letter, and when I gave it to him, he took it over to a telescreen
booth and drew the curtains.
I got a little busy with some other matters, and the next time I looked, kettlebelly
was gone, and some girl was using the booth.
That's very interesting, Mr. Finnegan.
Was that the last of your unusual business with Mayor Bonnie?
Oh, no.
Then about two weeks before Mr. Cromshaw was killed,
Kettlebelly came in and wanted fifty thousand pesos in a big hurry in small bills.
I gave it to him, and he grabbed at the money like a starved dog at a bone,
and upset a bottle of red permank, the sort we used to refill our bank seals.
Three of the bills got splashed.
I offered to exchange them, but he said,
Hell with it, I'm in a hurry, and went out.
The next day, Switchblade Joe Bonnie came in to make payments on a note we were holding on him.
He used those three bills in the payment.
Then about a week ago there was another cashier's check came in for Cattlebelly.
This time there was no letter just one of our regular deposit slips.
No name of Depositor.
I held the check and gave it to Cettlebelly.
I remember when it came in I said to one of the clerks,
Well, I wonder who's going to get bumped off this time.
And sure enough, Sidney's yell of objection was all his previous objections gathered into one.
You say the letter accompanying the first deposit, the one in basic English, was apparently taken away by kettlebelly Sam Bonnie.
If you saw another letter of the same sort, would you be able to say whether or not it might be like the one you mentioned?
Sidney vociferated more objections.
I was trying to get expert testimony without previous qualification.
Not at all, Mr. Sidney, Judge Nelson ruled.
Mr. Silk has merely asked if Mr. Finnegan could say whether one document bore any resemblance to another.
I asked permission to have another witness sworn in while Finnegan was still on the stand,
and called in a Mr. Boone, the cashier of the Packers and Brokers Trust Company of New Austin.
He had with him a letter typed on yellow paper, which he said had accompanied an anonymous
deposit of two hundred thousand pesos.
Mr. Finnegan said that it was exactly like the one he had received in typing, grammar,
and wording, all with the name of the person to whose account the money was to be deposited.
And whose account received this anonymous benefaction, Mr. Boone? I asked.
The account, Boone replied, of Mr. Clement, Sidney.
I was surprised that Judge Nelson didn't break the handle of his gavel after that.
Finally, after a couple of threats to clear the court, order was restored.
Mr. Sidney had no questions to ask this time either.
The bailiff looked at the next slip of paper I gave him, frowned over it, and finally asked
the court for assistance.
I can't pronounce this here thing at all, he complained.
One of the judges finally got out a mouthful of growls
and yaps, and gave it to the clerk of the court to copy into the record. The next witness was a
Xeroph, and in the new Texas garb he was wearing, he was something to open my eyes even after
years on the hooligan diplomats. After he took to stand, the clerk of the court looked at him
blankly for a moment. Then he turned to Judge Nelson. "'Your Honor, how am I going to go about
swearing him in?' he asked. "'What does a Zoraph swear by that's binding?'
The President Judge frowned for a moment.
Does anybody here know basic well enough to translate the oath? he asked.
I think I can, I offered.
I spent a great many years in our counselor's service before I was sent here.
We use Basic with a great many alien peoples.
Administer the oath, then, Nelson told me.
Put up your right hand, I told the Suruff.
Do you truly say in front of the great one who made all worlds,
who has knowledge of what is in the hearts of all persons.
That what you say here will be true, all true, and not anything that is not true,
and will you so say again at time when all worlds end, do you so truly say?
Yes, I so truly say.
Say your name?
Pumakal Kovidikamak.
What is your business?
I put things made of cloth into this world, and I take me.
out of this world. Where do you have your house? Here in New Austin over my house of business on
Coronado Street. What people do you see in this place that you have made business with?
Pugwitzgal Kruvd-Munkukkuk CCC pointed a three-fingered hand at the Bonnie brothers.
What business did you make with them? I gave them for money a machine which goes on the ground
and goes in the air very fast to take persons and things about.
Is that the thing you gave them for money?
I asked, pointing at the exhibit air car.
Yes, but it was new then.
It has been made broken by things from guns now.
What money did they give you for the machine?
One hundred pesos.
That started an uproar.
There wasn't a soul in that courtroom who didn't know that five thousand pesos
would have been a giveaway bargain price for that car.
Mr. Ambassador, one of the associate judges interrupted.
I used to be in the used-car business.
Am I expected to believe that this being sold that air car for a hundred pesos?
Here is a notarized copy of the bill of sale from the Office of the Vehicle's Registration Bureau, I said.
I introduce it as evidence.
There was a disturbance at the back of the room.
And then the Shiroff Ambassador, Glafir, Despotan Vuvuvu, came stalking down the aisle,
followed by a couple of rangers and two of his attaches.
He came forward and addressed the court.
May you be happy, sir.
But I am here so quickly, not because I have desired to make noise,
but because it is only short time since it got in my knowledge that one of my persons is in this place.
I am here to be of help to him that he not get in trouble and to be of help to you.
The name for what I am to do in this place is not part of my knowledge.
Please say it for me.
You are a friend of the court, Judge Nelson told him.
Anamika's Currier, you make me happy.
Please go on.
I have no desire to put stop to what you do in this place.
"'From what person did you get this machine that you gave to these persons for one hundred pesos?' I asked.
Gloffer immediately began barking and snarling and yelping at my witness.
The dry goods importer looked startled, and Judge Nelson banged with his gavel.
That's enough of that. There'll be nothing spoken in this court but English except through an interpreter.
"'Y'all! I am sad that what I did was not right,' the Sharoff ambassador replied contritely.
But my person here has not as part of his knowledge that you will make him say what may put him in trouble.'
Nelson nodded in agreement.
"'You are right. This person who is here has no need to make answer to any question if it may put him in trouble or make him seem less than he is.'
I will not make answer, the witness said.
No further questions?
I turned to Goodham and then to Sidney.
They had no questions either.
I handed another slip of paper to the bailiff,
and another Zorov named Mrak Jong-Yuk Kikikki took the stand.
He put into this world things for small persons to make amusements with.
He took out of this world meat and leather.
He had his house of business in Newark.
Austin, and he pointed out the three bonnies as persons in this place that he saw that he
had seen before.
"'And what business did you make with them?' I asked.
"'I gave them for money a gun which sends out things of twenty millimetre very fast,
to make death or hurt come to men and animals, and does destruction to machines and things.'
"'Is this the gun?' I showed it to him.
"'It could be.
The gun was made in my world.
Many guns like it are made there.
I am certain that this is the very gun.
I had a notarized copy of a customs house bill
in which the gun was described and specified by serial number.
I introduced it as evidence.
How much money did these three persons give you for this gun?
I asked.
Five pesos?
The customs appraisal on this gun is 600 pesos, I mentioned.
Immediately Ambassador Vuvuvu was on his feet.
My person here has not as part of his knowledge that he may put himself in trouble by what he says to answer these questions.
That put a stop to that.
Barack Jogginyeuk Kikiki immediately took refuge in refusal to answer on grounds of self-incrimination.
That is all, Your Honor, I said.
And now, I continued when the witness had left the stand, I have something further to present to the
Court, speaking both as amicus curier and as ambassador of the Solar League.
This court cannot convict the three men who are here on trial.
These men should have never been brought to trial in this court.
It has no jurisdiction over this case.
This was a simple case of first-degree murder by hired assassins
committed against the ambassador of one government at the instigation of another,
not as an act of political protest within the meaning of New Texas law.
There was a brief silence.
Both the court and the spectators were stunned,
and most stunned of all were the three Bonnie brothers,
who had been watching, fear-sick,
while I had been putting a rope around their necks.
The uproar from the rear of the courtroom gave Judge Nelson
a needed minute or so to collect his thoughts.
After he had gotten order restored, he turned to me, grim-faced.
Ambassador Silk, will you please elaborate on the extraordinary
statement you have just made, he invited, as though every word had sharp corners that were
sticking in his throat.
Gladly, Your Honor.
My words, too, were gouging and scraping my throat as they came out.
I could feel my knees getting absurdly weak, and my mouth tasted as though I had an old copper
penny in it.
As I understand it, the laws of New Texas do not extend their ordinary protection to persons
engaged in the practice of politics.
An active personal injury against a politician is considered criminal, only to the extent that
the politician injured has not, by his public acts, deserved the degree of severity with which
he has been injured.
And the Court of Political Justice is established for the purpose of determining whether or
not there has been such an excessive severity in the treatment meted out by the accused
to the injured or deceased politician.
This gives rise, of course, to some interesting practices.
For instance, what is at law a trial of the accused is, in substance, a trial of his victim.
But in any case tried in this court, the accused must be a person who has injured or killed a man,
who is definable as a practicing politician under the government of New Texas.
Speaking for my government, I must deny that these men should have been tried in this court for the murder of Silas Comshaw.
to do otherwise would establish the principle and precedent that our ambassador or any other ambassador here is a practicing politician under mark that well your honor under the laws and government of new texas
this would not only make any ambassador a permissible target for any marksman who happened to disapprove of the policies of another government but more serious it would place the ambassador and his government in a subordinate position
relative to the government of New Texas.
This, the government of the Solar League, simply cannot tolerate,
for reasons which it would be insulting to the intelligence of this court to enumerate.
Mr. Silk, Judge Nelson said gravely.
This court takes full cognizance of the force of your arguments.
However, I'd like to know why you permitted this trial to run to this length
before entering this objection.
Surely you could have made clear the position.
of your government at the beginning of this trial.
Your Honor, I said, had I done so,
these defendants would have been released,
and the facts behind their crime would have never come to light.
I grant that the important function of this court
is to determine questions of relative guilt and innocence.
We must not lose sight, however,
of the fact that the primary function of any court
is to determine the truth,
and only by the process of the trial of these depraved murderers for hire,
could the real author of the crime be uncovered.
This was important both for the government of the Solar League and the government of New Texas.
My government now knows who procured the death of Silas Comshaw, and we will take appropriate action.
The government of New Texas has now had spelled out in letters anyone can read
the fact that this beautiful planet is in truth a battleground.
Awareness of this may save New Texas from being the scene.
of a larger and more destructive battle. New Texas also knows who are its enemies, and who can be counted
on to stand as his friends. Yes, Mr. Silk. Mr. Vuvuvu, I haven't heard any comment from you.
No comment? Well, we'll have to close the court to consider this phase of the question.
The black screen slid up for the second time during the trial. There was silence for a moment,
and then the room became a bubbling pot of sound.
At least six fights broke out among the spectators within three minutes.
The Rangers in court bailiffs were busy restoring order.
Gail Hickok, who had been sitting on the front row of the spectator seats,
came running up while I was still receiving the congratulations of my fellow diplomats.
"'Steven! How could you?' she demanded.
"'You know what you've done?
You've gotten those murdering snakes turn loose.
loose. Andrew Jackson Hickok left the prosecution table and approached.
Mr. Silk, you have just secured the freedom of three men who murdered one of my best
friends. Colonel Hickok, I believe I knew Silas Kumsha before you did. He was one of my
instructors at Dumbarton Oaks, and I have always had the deepest respect and admiration for him.
But he taught me one thing which you seem to have forgotten
since you expatriated yourself that in the diplomatic service personal feelings don't count.
The only thing of importance is the advancement of the policies of the Solar League.
Silas and I were attach together with the old embassy at Drumpool on Altair,
too, Colonel Hickok said.
What else he might have said was lost in the sudden exclamation as the black screen slid down.
In front of Judge Nelson I saw there were three pistol belts,
and three pairs of automatics.
Switchblade Joe Bonnie, Jack High Abe Bonnie, Turkey-Buzzard Tom Bonnie.
Together with your counsel, approach the court and hear the verdict, Judge Nelson said.
The three defendants and their lawyer rose.
The bonnies were swaggering and laughing.
But for a lawyer whose clients had just emerged from the shadow of the gallows,
Sidney was looking remarkably unhappy.
He probably had imagination enough to see what would be waiting
for him outside.
It pains me inexpressibly, Judge Nelson said, to inform you three that this court cannot
convict you of the cowardly murder of that learned and honorable old man, Silas Comshaw,
nor can you be brought to trial in any other court in New Texas again for that dastardly
crime.
Here are your weapons, which must be returned to you.
Sort them out yourselves, because I won't dirty my fault.
fingers on them.
And may you regret and feel shame for your despicable act as long as you live, which I hope
won't be more than a few hours.
With that, he used the end of his gavel to push the three belts off the bench and onto
the floor at the bunny's feet.
They stood, laughing at him for a few moments, then stopped, picked the belts up, drew
the pistols to check magazines and chambers, and then began slapping each other's backs and
shouting jubilant congratulations at one another.
Sidney's two assistants and some of his friends came up and began pumping Sidney's hands.
There, Gail flung at me.
Now look at your masterpiece.
Why don't you go up and congratulate him too?
And with that she slapped me across the face.
It hurt like the devil.
She was a lot stronger than I'd expected.
In about two minutes, I told her.
You can apologize to me for that, or weep over my corpse.
Right now, though, you'd better be getting behind something solid.
End of Chapter 10.
Chapter 11 of Lone Star Planet by H. Beam Piper and John J. McGuire.
This Libre-Vox recording is in the public domain.
Chapter 11.
I turned and stepped forward to confront the Bonny's mentally thanking Gail.
Up until she'd slacked me, I'd been weak-kneed and dry-mouthed with what I had to do.
Now I was just plain angry, and I found that I was thinking a lot more clearly.
Jack High Bonnie's wounded left shoulder I knew wouldn't keep him from using his gun hand,
but his shoulder muscles would be stiff enough to slow his draw.
I'd intended saving him until I dealt with his brothers.
Now I remembered how he'd gotten that wound in the first place.
He'd been the one who'd used the auto rifle out at the Hickok Ranch,
so I changed my plans and moved him up to top priority.
Hold it, I yelled at them.
You've been cleared of killing a politician,
but you still have killing a Solar League ambassador to answer for.
Now get your hands full of guns if you don't want to die with them empty.
The crowd of sympathizers and felicitators simply exploded away from the Bonnie brothers.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Sidney and a fat blousey woman with brass-colored hair
as they both tried to dive under the friends of the court table at the same place.
The Bonnie brothers simply stood and stared at me for an instant,
unbelieving as I got my thumbs on the release studs of my belt.
Judge Nelson's gavel was hammering, and he was shouting.
Court of Political Justice, Confederate Continent of New Texas is here with adjourned,
reconvened 0,900 tomorrow, hit the floor.
Damn, he means it, switchplayed Joe Bonnie exclaimed.
Then they all reach for their guns.
They were still reaching when I pressed the studs, and the crub tattas popped up into my hands,
and I swung up my right-hand gun and shot jack-high through the head.
After that I just let my subconscious take over.
I saw gun flames jump out at me from the Bonnie's weapons,
and I felt my own pistols leap and writhe in my hands.
But I don't believe I was aware of hearing the shots, not even of my own weapons.
The whole thing probably lasted five seconds, but it seemed like twenty minutes to me.
Then there was nobody shooting at me, and nobody for me to shoot at.
The big room was silent, and I was aware that Judge Nelson and his eight associates were rising cautiously from behind the bench.
I holstered my left-hand gun, removed and replaced the magazine of the right-hand gun, then holstered it and reloaded the other one.
Hoddy Ringo and Francisco Paros and Commander Stonehenge were on their feet, their pistols drawn, covering the spectator's seats.
Colonel Hickok had also drawn a pistol, and he was covering Sydney with it,
occasionally moving the muzzle to the left to include the Shoroff ambassador and his two attaches.
By this time, Nelson and the other eight judges were in their seats trying to look calm and judicial.
Your Honor, I said.
I fully realize that no judge likes to have his court turned into a shooting gallery.
I can assure you, however, that my action here was not the result of any lack of respect for this court.
It was pure necessity.
Your Honor can see that.
My government could not permit this crime against its ambassador to pass unpunished.
Judge Nelson nodded solemnly.
Court was adjourned when this little incident happened, Mr. Silk, he said.
He leaned forward and looked to where the three Bonnie brothers were making a mess of blood on the floor.
I trust that nobody will construe my unofficial and personal comments here,
as establishing any legal precedent.
And I wouldn't like to see this sort of thing become customary,
but you did that all by yourself with those little bean shooters?
Not bad, not bad at all, Mr. Silk.
I thanked him, then turned to the Sure Off Ambassador.
I didn't bother putting my remarks into basic.
He understood, as well as I did, what I was saying.
Look, Fido, I told him.
My government is quite well aware of the source from which the orders for the murder of my predecessor came.
These men I just killed were only the tools.
We're going to get the brains behind them if we have to send every war ship we own into the Xeroff Starcluster
and devastate every planet in it.
We don't let dogs snap at us, and when they do, we don't kick them, we shoot them.
That, of course, was not exactly striped-pants diplomatic language.
I wonder for a moment what Norman Gazzarian, the protocol man, would think if he heard an ambassador
calling another ambassador Fido.
But it seemed to be the kind of language that Mr. Vuvuvu understood.
He skinned back his upper lip at me and began snarling and growling.
Then he turned on his hind paws and patted angrily down the aisle away from the front of the courtroom.
The spectators around him and above him began barking, baying, yelping at him.
Tie a can to his tail.
Get for home, Bruno.
Then somebody yelled,
Hey, look, even his wristwatch is blushing.
That was perfectly true.
Mr. Glover Despotan Vuvuvu's watch face, normally white,
was now glowing a bright ruby red.
I looked at Stonehenge and found him looking at me.
It would be full dark and,
four or five hours. There are to be something spectacular to see in the cloudless skies of
Capella four tonight. Fleet Admiral Sir Rodney Tragasky would see to that. From report of
Space Commander Stonehenge to Secretary of Aggression, Clung. So the measure is considered by
yourself and Secretary of State Glopal Singh and Security Coordinator Natalenko, as transmitted
to me by Mr. Hattiringo, were not, I am glad to say, needed. Ambassador Silk,
alive, handled the thing much better than Ambassador Silk dead could possibly have.
To confirm Sir Rodney Togaski's report from the tales of the few survivors,
the Sharoff attack came as the ambassador had expected.
They dropped out of hyperspace about 70 light minutes outside the Capella system,
apparently in complete ignorance of the presence of our fleet.
Have learned the entire fleet consisted of about 300 spaceships,
and reports reaching here indicate that,
no more than 20 got back to Sharaf Cluster.
Naturally, the hold affair has had a profound influence and influence to the benefit of the
Solo League on all shades of public opinion.
As you properly assumed, Mr. Hottie Ringo is no longer with us.
When it became apparent that the Palme-Silk annexation treaty would be ratified here,
Mr. Ringo immediately saw that his status of diplomatic immunity would automatically terminate.
accordingly he left the system embarking from New Austin for Aldobaran 9,
mentioning as he shook hands with me something about a widow.
By a curious coincidence, the richest branch bank in the city was held up by a lone bandit
about half an hour before he boarded the spaceship.
Final message of the last solar ambassador to New Texas, Stephen Silk.
Copies of the Treaty of Annexation duly ratified by the New Texas legislature herewith.
Please note that the guarantee of none intervention in local political institutions are the very minimum which are acceptable to the people of New Texas.
They are especially adamant that there will be no change in their peculiar methods of ensuring that their elected and appointed public officials shall be responsible to the electorate.
Department addendum
After the ratification of the Palmy Silk Treaty, Mr. Silk remained on New Texas, married the daughter of a local rancher there,
C-file on First Ambassador Colonel Andrew Jackson Hickok, and is still active in politics on that planet,
often in opposition to Solar League policies, which he seemed to anticipate with an almost uncanny preciance.
Natalenko re-read the addendum, pursed his thick lips inside.
There was so many ways he could be using Mr. Stephen's silk.
For example, he looked at the tri-dye star map both usefully and beautifully decorating his walls,
over there, where Hottie Wingo had gone, near Aldobarron Nine.
Those were twin planets, one apparently settled by the equivalent descendants of the Edwards,
and the other inhabited by the children of a Duke's Calicac Union.
Even the Solo League ambassadors there had taken the viewpoints of the planets to whom they were accredited
instead of the all-embracing view which their training should have given them.
Curious problem.
And how would Stephen Silk have handled it?
The security coordinator scrawled a note comprehensible only to himself.
End of Chapter 11. End of Lone Star Planet by H. Beam Piper and John J. McGuire.
