Classic Audiobook Collection - Lysistrata by Aristophanes ~ Full Audiobook [comedy]

Episode Date: October 26, 2022

Lysistrata by Aristophanes audiobook. Genre: comedy In war-weary Athens, the sharp-witted Lysistrata is done waiting for the men to come to their senses. With the Peloponnesian War grinding on and families strained by endless campaigning, she proposes an audacious plan: unite the women of Greece - even longtime rivals from Sparta - and use the one leverage the men cannot ignore to force peace talks. As reluctant friends like Calonice are drawn into the scheme, and formidable allies like the Spartan Lampito arrive, the women seize control of the city's treasury and set strict terms for ending the conflict. Their uprising sparks chaos in the streets, scandal in the council chamber, and a battle of wills inside the home, where desire, pride, and patriotism collide. Aristophanes' classic comedy mixes bold farce with biting political satire, lampooning leaders and citizens alike while asking serious questions about power, civic duty, and the human cost of war. Funny, provocative, and unexpectedly tender, Lysistrata turns domestic life into a stage for public change - and dares its characters to imagine a different kind of victory. For ad-free listening try our premium subscription Chapters (Approximate) (00:00:00) Chapter 01 (00:20:48) Chapter 02 (00:56:55) Chapter 03 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

lissistrata by aristophanes seen one in a public square at athens lissistrata stands alone with the propola at her back if they were tristing for a bacchanal a feast of pan or colias or genitalis the tambourines would block the rowdy streets but now there's not a woman to be seen except ah yes this neighbor of man mind yonder. Enter Calanese. Good day, Calanese. Calanese. Good day, Lysistrata. But what has vexed you so? Tell me, child, what are these black looks for? It doesn't suit you to knit your eyebrows up glumly like that. Lizistrata. Calanese, it's more than I can bear. I am hot all over with blushes for our sex. Men say we're slippery rogues. Calanese.

And aren't they right? Lisi Strata. Yet, summoned on the most tremendous business for deliberations, still they snuggle in bed. Colonnese. My dear, they'll come. It's hard for women, you know, to get away. There's so much to do. Husbands to be patted and put in good tempers.

Servants to be poked out. Children washed or soothed lullabies are fed with mouthfuls of PAP. Lisi Strata. But I tell you, here's a far more weighty object. Kalanese, what is it all about, dear Lisi Strata? That you've called the women hither in a troop. What kind of an object is it? Lisi Strata, a tremendous thing.

Colonnese, and long? Lysi Strata, indeed, it may be very lengthy. Colonnese, then why aren't they here? Lisi Strata. No man's connected with it. If that was the case they soon come fluttering along. No, no, it concerns an object I've felt over and turned this way and that for sleepless nights. Colonnese.

It must be fine to stand such long attention. Lisi Strata. So fine it comes to this. Greece saved by woman. Colonnese. By woman? Wretched thing, I'm sorry for it. Lisi Strata.

Our country's fate is henceforth in our hands to destroy the Peloponnesian's root and branch. Colonis, what could be nobler? Lisi Strata, wipe out the Boetians, Colonis. Not utterly, have mercy on the eels. Footnote, the Boeotian eels were highly esteemed delicacies in Athens. Lisi Strata. But with regard to Athens, note I'm careful not to say any of these nasty things. Still, thought is free.

But if the women join us from Peloponnesus and Boeotia, then hand in hand we'll rescue Greece. Kalanis. How could we do such a big, wise deed? We women who dwell quietly adorning ourselves in a back room with gowns of lucid golden, gaudy tarlis of stately silk and dainty little slippers? Lysistrata. These are the very armaments of the rescue. These crocus gowns, this outlay of the best myrr, slippers,

cosmetics, dusting beauty, and robes with rippling creases of light. Colonies. Yes, but how? Lissistrata, no man will lift a lance against another. Colonis, I'll run to have my tunic dyed crocus. Lysistrata, or take a shield. Colonnese, I'll get a stately gown. Lissistrata.

Or unscabbard a sword? Colonnese, let me buy a pair of slipper. Lyserrata. Now tell me, are the women right to lag? Colonnese, they should have turned birds, they should have grown wings and flown. Lysistrata, my friend, you'll see that they are true Athenians. Always too late. Why, there's not a woman from the shoreward deems arrived, not one from Salamis.

Colonnese, I know for certain they awoke at dawn and got their husbands up, if not their boat sails. Lysistrata, and I'd have staked my life the Arcanean dames would be here first, yet they They haven't come either. Kalonis. Well, anyhow, there is Thea Ginez's wife. We can expect. She consulted, Haccate. But look, here are some at last and more behind them.

See? Where are they from? Kalonis. From Anagyra, they come. Lysistrata. Yes, they generally manage to come first. Enter Myrene. Are we late, Lysistrata?

What is that? Nothing to say. say? Liseistrata. I've not much to say for you, Maireen, dawdling on so vast an affair. Marine, I couldn't find my girdle in the dark. But if the affair is so wonderful, tell us, what is it? Lissistrata.

No, let us stay a little longer till the Peloponnesian girls and the girls of Boccia are here to listen. Marene, that's the best advice. Ah, there comes Lampito. Enter Lampito. Lysistrata. Welcome Lampito, dear Spartan girl with a delightful face. Washed with a rosy spring, how fresh you look in the easy stride of your sleek slenderness.

Why, you could strangle a bull. Lampito. I think I could. It's free exercise and kicking high behind. Lissistrata. What lovely breasts to own. Lampito. Oh, your fingers assess them, ye tickler with such tender chucks.

I feel as if I were an altar victim. Lysistrata. Who is this youngster? Lampito. A Boiscian lady. Lysi Strata. There never was much undergrowth in Boeotia. Such a smooth place, and this girl takes after it.

Colonice. Yes, I never saw a skin so primly kept. Liseistrata. This girl? Lampito. A sancy open-looking jinker. She's a Corinthian. Lisi Strata.

Yes, isn't she? Very open in some ways, particularly. Lampito. But whose guard this council of women to meet here? Lisi Strata. I have. Lampito, propound then what you want of us. Myrine, what is the amazing news you have to tell?

Lysistrata, I'll tell you, but first answer one small question. Marine, as you like. Lysistrata, are you not sad your children's fathers go endlessly off-soldiering afar in this plotting war? I am willing to wager there's not one here whose husband is at home. Calernice. Mine's been in Thrace, keeping an eye on Eucrates for five months past. Myrine. And mine left me for Pylos seven months ago at least.

Lampito. As for mine, no sooner has he slipped out for the line he straps his shield and he snicked off again. Lissistrata. and not the slightest glitter of a lover. And since the Milesians betrayed us, I've not seen the image of a single upright man to be a marble consolation to us. Now will you help me if I find a means to stamp the war out?

Myrene. By the two goddesses, yes. I will, though I've to pawn this very dress and drink the barter money the same day. Colonice. And I, too, though I'm split up like a turbot, and half is hacked off as the price of peace. Lampito. And I too.

Why, to get a peep at the shy thing I clamber up to the tip-topataketus. Lysistrata, then I'll expose my mighty mystery. Oh, women, if we would compel the men to bow to peace, We must refrain. Mireen. From what? Oh, tell us. Liseistrata.

Will you truly do it then? Mireen. We will, we will if we must die for it. Lysistrata. We must refrain from every depth of love. Why do you turn your backs? Where are you going? Why do you bite your lips and shake your heads?

Why are your faces blanched? Why do you weep? Will you or won't you? What do you mean? Myrene. No, I won't do it. Let the war proceed. Calanese.

No, I won't do it. Let the war proceed. Lissistrata. You too, dear Turbot. You that said just now you didn't mind being split right up in the least? Colernis. Anything else? Oh, bid me walk in fire, but do not rob us of that darling joy.

What else is like it, dear as Lisi Strata? Lysi Strata. And you? Mirene. Oh, please give me the fire instead. Lysi Strata. Lude to the least drop in the tiniest vein. Our sex is fitly food for tragic poets.

Our whole life's but a pile of kisses and babies. But, Hardy Spartan, if you join with me, all may be righted yet. Oh, help me, help me! Lampito. It is a sayer, sayer thing to ask of us, by the twa, a last to sleep her lane and never fill love's lack except with makeshifts. But let it be. Peace, man be thought of first.

Lisi Strata. My friend, my friend, the only one amid this herd of weaklings. Colonis. But if, which, heaven forbid, we should refrain as you would have us, how is peace-induced? Lisi Strata. By the two goddesses now, can't you see? All we have to do is idly sit indoors. With smooth roses powdered on our cheeks,

Our bodies burning naked through the folds of shining amorgas's silk, And meet the men with our dear Venus plaits plucked trim and neat. Their stirring love will rise up furiously. They'll beg our arms to open. That's our time. We'll disregard their knocking. Beat them off. And they will soon be rabid for a piece.

I'm sure of it. Lampito. Just as Minolaos, they say, seeing the bosom of his naked Helen flang down the sword. Colonnese. But we'll be tearful fools if our husbands take us at our word and leave us. Lysistrata. There's only left then, in Farakrates's phrase,

To flay a skinned dog. Flay more our flayed desires. Colonice, "'Bah, Proverbs will never warm a celibate. But what avail will your scheme be if the men drag us for all our kicking on to the couch?' Lisi Strata. cling to the doorposts.

Colonnese, "'But if they should force us!' Lisi Strata. Yield then, but with a sluggish, cold indifference. There is no joy to them in sullen, mating. Besides, we have other ways to madden them. They cannot stand up long, and they've no delight unless we fit their aim with merry succor." Colonice. Well, if you must have it so, we'll all agree.

Lampito. For us, I hay no doubt. We can persuade our men to strike a fair and decent peace. But how will you pitch out the battle frenzy of the Athenian populace? lisi strata i promise you will wither up that curse lamppito i don't believe it not while they own a triam ord and rigged are those stacks and stacks and stacks of silver lisi strata I've thought the whole thing out till there's no flaw. We shall surprise the Acropolis to-day. That is the duty-set the older dames. While we sit here talking, they are to go, and under pretensive sacrificing, seize it. Lampito.

Serti, that's fine, all working for the best. Lisi Strata. Now quickly, Lampito, let us tie ourselves to this high purpose as tightly as the hemp of words cannot together. Lempito. Set out the terms in detail, and we'll asswear to them. Lisi Strata. Of course.

Well, then. Where is our Scythianess? Why are you staring? First lay the shield, boss downward on the floor, and bring the victims inwards. Calanese. But, Lisi Strata, what is this oath that we're to swear? Lisi Strata. What oath.

In Escalis they take a slaughtered sheep and swear upon a buckler. Why not we? Colonnese. Oh, Lisi Strata, peace sworn on a buckler. Lisi Strata. What oath would suit us then? Colonis. Something burden-bearing would be our best insignia.

A white horse. Let's swear upon its entrails. Lisi Strata. A horse. indeed. Colonise, then what will symbolize us? Lysistrata. This, as I tell you, first set a great dark bowl upon the ground

and disembowel a skin of Fassian wine. Then swear that we'll not add a drop of water. Lampito. Ah, what eighth could clink pleasanter than that? Lysi Strata. Bring me a bowl, then, and a skin of wine. Colonnese. My dears, see what a splendid bold it is.

I'll not say no if asked to sip it off. This is Strata. Put down the bowl. Lay hands all on the victim. Sky-Queen who give us the last word in arguments, and thee, oh, bold, dear comrade, we beseech, accept our oblation, and be propitaph. picious to us.

Calanese. What healthy blood, lop, how it gushes out. Lempito. And what a leseum fragrance through the air. Lestrata, now, dears, if you will let me, I'll speak first. Colernice, only if you draw the lot by Aphrodite. Lysistrata, so grasp the brim, you, Lempito, and all you, you, colonise, repeat for the rest. Each word I say, then you must all take oath and pledge your

arms to the same stern conditions. Lisi Strata. To husband or lover, I'll not open arms. Colernese, to husband or lover, I'll not open arms. Lisi Strata, though love and denial may enlarge his charms. Calanese, though love and denial may enlarge his charms, oh, my knees are feeling me, Lisi Strata. Lisi Strata. But still at home, ignoring him, I'll stay. Calanese, but still at home ignoring him I'll stay.

Lacy Strata, beautiful, clad in saffron silks all day. Colonies. Beautiful, clad in saffron silks all day. Lisi Strata. If then he seizes me by dent of force, Colonnese. If then he seizes me by dent of force, Lisi Strata. I'll give him reason for a long remorse. Colanese, I'll give him reason for a long remorse. Lisi Strata, I'll never lie and stare up at the same.

ceiling. Colonnese, I'll never lie and stare up at the ceiling. Lisi Strata, nor like a lion on all fours go kneeling. Colonnese, nor like a lion on all fours go kneeling. Lisi Strata, if I keep faith, then bounteous cups be mine. Colonnese, if I keep faith, then bounteous cups be mine. Lisi Strata, if not, do not. "'Nausious water change this wine.' "'Colonies. "'If not, to nauseous water change this wine?'

"'Lisi Strata. "'Do you all swear to this?' "'Mirene.' "'We do, we do.' "'Lisi Strata, "'then I shall emulate the victim thus.' "'She drinks.' "'Colonies, here now.

"'Share fair, haven't we made a pact? Let's all quaff down that friendship in our turn. Lampito. Hark, what catar-walling hubbub's that? Lacey Strata. As I told you, the women have appropriated the citadel. So, Lampito, dash off to your own land and raise the rebels there. These will serve as hostages while we ourselves take our places in the ranks and drive the boats right home.

Colonies? But won't the men march straight against us? Lysistrata. And what if they do? No threat shall creak our hinges wide. No torch shall light of fear in us. We will come out to peace alone. Colonies.

That's it by Aphrodite. As of old, let us seem hard and obdurate. End of scene one. Scene two of Lysistrata by Aristotov. This Librivox recording is in the public domain. Scene two. Before the gates of the Acropolis. Lampito and some go off. The others go up into the Acropolis. Chorus of old men enter to attack the captured Acropolis.

Make room, Drakas. Move ahead. Why your shoulders chafed I see with lugging uphill these lopped branches of the olive tree. How upside down and wrong way round along life sees things grow. Ah, strymotorous, who'd have thought affairs could tangle so? The women who at home we fed, like witness fools with fostering bread, have impiously come to this. They've stolen the acropolis. With bolts and bars our orders flout, and shut us out.

Come, phylogis, bustle hither, lay our faggots on the ground. in neat stacks beleaguering the insurgents all around. And the vile conspirators, plotting of such mischief dire, pile and burn them all together in one vast and righteous pyre. Fling with our own hands, Lycon's wife, to fry in the thickest fire. By Demeter, they'll get no brag when I've a vain to beat. Cleomines himself was hurled out in sore defeat. His stiffed-backed-spartan pride was bent.

Out, stripped of all his arms, he went. A pygmy cloak that would not stretch to hide his rump, the draggled wretch. Six sprouting years of beard, the splith of six years' filth. That was a siege. Our men were ranged in lines of seventeen deep, before the gates and never left their posts there even to sleep. Shall I not spite the rash presumption then of foes like these? detested both of the gods and of Euripides? Else, may the marathon plane not boast my trophied victories.

Ah, now there's but a little space to reach the place. A deadly climb, it is, a tricky road, with all this bumping load. A pack-ass soon would tire how these logs bruise my shoulders, further still jog up the hill and puff the fire inside. Or, just as we reach the top, we'll find it's died. Oh, puke, I choke with the smoke! Lord Heracles! How acrid hot! Out of the pot! This mad dog's smoke leaps, worrying me and biting angrily.

Tis lemnian fire that smokes, or else it would not sting my eyelids thus. Haste, all of us! Athene invokes our aid! Laches, now or never the assault must be made! Oh, puuch, I choke with the smoke. Thanks be to gods, the fire peeps up and crackles as it should. Now, why not first slide off our backs these weary loads of wood and dip a vine branch in the brazier till it glows,

then straight hurled it at the battering ram against the stubborn gate? If they refuse to draw the bolts in immediate compliance, we'll set fire to the wood and smoke will strangle their defiance. "'Hugh, what a spluttering trench of smoke! Come now from off my pack. Is there no Sammo's General to help me to unpack?' "'Ah, there, that's over. For the last time now it's galled my shoulder.

Flair up thine embers, brazier and dutifully smolder, to kindle a brand that I the first may strike the citadel. Aid me, Lady Victory, that a triumph trophy may tell, how we did anciently this insane audacity quell. Chorus of women What's that rising yonder? That ruddy glare, that smoky scurry. Oh, is it something in a blaze?

Quick, quick, my comrades, hurry. Nicodice, helter-skelter, or poor callusies and flames, and Crichtellus stifled in the welter. Oh, these dreadful old men and their dark laws of hate. There, I'm all of it tremble lest I turn out to be too late. I could scarcely get near to the spring, though I rose before dawn, what with tattling of tongues and rattling of pitchers in one jostling den, with slaves pushing in.

Still, here at last, the water is drawn, and with it eagerly I run, to help those of my friends who stand in danger of being burned alive. For I am told, a dribbling band of greybeards hobbled to the field, great faggots in each palsied hand, as if a hot bath to prepare, and threatening that they'll soon drive these wicked women, or soon leave them charring into ashes there. O goddess suffer not, I pray, this harsh deed to be done, but show us Greece and Athens with their warlike acts repealed. For this alone, in this thy hold, thou got us with the helm of gold, we laid hands on thy sanctuary. Athene, then our L.I.B. and where they cast their fires of slaughter, direct our water. Strathelus, caught. Let me go.

Women. You villainous, old men, what's this you do? No honest man, no pious man, could do such things as you. Men. Ah, here's something most original, I have no doubt. A swarm of women's sentinels to man the wall without. Women. So then we scare you, do we? Do we seem a fearful host? You only see the smallest fraction mustard at this post. Men.

Oh, Fredias, shall we put a stop to all these chattering tricks? Suppose that now upon their backs we splinter these are sticks. Women? Let us lay down the pitchers so our bodies will be in case these lumping fellows try to cause some injury. Men, Oh, hit them hard and hit again and hit until they run away, and perhaps they'll learn, like Bupalis, not to have too much to say.

Women, come on then, do it, I won't budge, but like a dog I'll bite at every little scrap of meat that dangles in my sight. Men, Be quiet, or I'll bash you out of any years to come. Come. Women. Now you just touch Strathilus with the top joint of your thumb. Men.

What vengeance can you take if with my fists your face I beat? Women, I'll rip you with my teeth and strew your entrails at your feet. Men, now I appreciate Euripides' strange subtlety. Woman is the most shameless beast of all the beasts that be. Women? Rodepe, come, and let's pick up our water jars once more. Men, ah, cursed drab, what have you brought this water for? Women, what is your fire for, then, you smelly corpse, yourself to burn?

Men, to build a pyre and make your comrades ready for the urn. Women, and I have the water to put out your fire immediately. "'Men.' "'What? You put out my fire?' "'Women.' "'Yes, sir, as you soon will see.' "'Men.' "'I don't know why I hesitate to roast you with this flame.'

"'Women,' if you have any soap you'll go off cleaner, then you came.' "'Men?' "'Cleaner? "'You dirty slut!' "'Woman.' "'A nuptual bath in which to lie.' Men. Did you hear that insolence?

Women. I'm a free woman, I. Men, I'll make you hold your tongue. Women. Henceforth, you'll serve in no more juries. Men, burn off her hair for her. Women. Now forward water quench their furies.

Men, oh dear, oh dear. Women. So. Was it hot? Men. Hot, oh, enough, oh, hold. Women. Watered, perhaps you'll bloom again.

Why not? Men. I'm wrinkled up with shivering from cold. Women. Next time you fire, you'll warm yourselves and leave us to our lot. Magistrate enters with attendant Scythians. Magistrate. Have the luxurious rights of the world.

Women glittered their libertine show, their drumming tapped out crowds, the Sabazian mysteries summoned their mob, Adonis been wept to death on the terraces as I could hear the last day in the assembly. For Demonstratus, let bad luck befoul him, was roaring, We must sail for Sicily. While a woman throwing herself about in a dance lopsided with drink was shrilling out, Adonis, woe for Adonis! Then Demonstratus shouted, We must levy hoplites at Zocentus. And there the women, up to the ears and wine, were screaming, Weep for Adonis on the housetop.

The scoundrelly politician, that lunatic ox, bellowing bad advice through tipsy shrieks, Such are the follies wantoning in them. Men. Oh, if you knew their full effrontery, all the insults they've done, besides sousing us with water from their pots to our public disgrace, for we stand here wringing our clothes like grown-up infants. Magistrate,

By Poseidon justly done. For in part with us the blame must lie for dissolute behavior, and for the pampered appetites they learn. Thus grows the sealing lust to blossoming. We go into a shop and say, here goldsmith you remember the necklace that you wrought my wife well the other night in fervor of a dance her clasp broke open now i'm off for salamis if you've the leisure would you go to-night and stick a bolt-pin into her opened clasp another goes to a cobbler a soldiery fellow always standing up erect and says to him cobbler a sandal strap of my wife's pinches her hurts her little toe in a place where she's sensitive.

Come at noon and see if you can stretch out wider this thing that troubles her. Loosen its tightness. And so you view the result. Observe my case. I am magistrate. Come here to draw money to buy ore blades, and what happens? The women slam the door full in my face. But standing stills no use.

Bring me a crowbar. and I'll chastise this their impertinence. What do you gape at, wretch, with dazzled eyes, peering for a tavern, I suppose? Come, force the gates with crowbars, prize them apart. I'll prize away myself, too. Lysistrata appears. Stop this banging, I'm coming of my own accord.

Why bars? It is not bars we need, but common sense. Magistrate. Indeed, you slut! Where is the archer now? Arrest this woman. Tie her hands behind. Lissistrata. If he brushes me with a finger by Artemis, the public menial, he'll be sorry for it.

Magistrate. Are you afraid? Grab her about the middle. Two of you then. Lay hands on her and end it. Calanice. By Pandras. If your hand touches her, I'll spread you out and trample on your guts.

Magistrate. My guts? Where is the other archer gone? Mine that makes there who talks so prettily. Myrene. By phosphorus. If your hand moves out her way, you'd better have a surgeon somewhere handy. Magistrate.

You, too? Where is that archer? Take that woman. I'll put a stop to the surprise part. Strathelus. By the Tomeric Artemis. One inch nearer my fingers, and it's a bald man that'll be yelling. Magistrate. Tutt, what's here? Deserted by my archers, but surely a woman never can defeat us. Close up your ranks, my Scythians. Forward at them. Lissistrata. By the goddesses you'll find that here awaits you four companies of

most pugnacious women, armed capapai from the topmost luring curl to the lowest angry dimple. Magistrate. On Scythians bind them. Lissistrotha. On gallant allies of our high design, vendors of grain eggs, pulse and vegetables, ye garlic tavern keepers of bakeries, strike, batter, knock, hit, slap, and scratch our foes. Be finely imprudent. Say what you think of them.

Enough, retire, do not rob the dead. Magistrate. Oh, basically did my archer force come off. Lisey Strata. Aha, you thought it was a herd of slaves you had to tackle, and you didn't guess the thirst for glory ardent in our blood. Magistrate. By Apollo, I know well the thirst that hits you,

especially when a wine-skins close. Men, you waste your breath. dear magistrate I fear in answering back what's the good of argument with such a rampagious peck remember how they washed us down these very close I wore with water that looked nasty and that smelt so even more women what else to do since you advanced too dangerously nigh if you should do the same again I'll punch you in the eye though I'm a stay at home and most a quiet life and joy polite to all and ever for for I am naturally coy. Still, if you wake a wasp nest, then of wasps you must beware. Men.

How may this ferocity be tamed? It grows too great to bear. Let us question them and find if they'll perchance declare the reason why they strangely dare to seize on Cronosis's citadel. This eerie inaccessible, this shrine above the precipice, the acropolis.

Probe them and find what they mean. with this idle talk listen but watch they don't try to deceive you'll be neglecting your duty most certainly if now this mystery and plum do you leave magistrate women there tell what i ask you directly come without rambling i wish you to state what's your rebellious intention in boring up thus on our noses our own temple gate lissistrata to take first the treasury out of your management and so stop the war through the absence of gold magistrate is gold then the cause of the war lissistrata yes gold caused it and miseries more too many to be told it was for money and money alone that pissander with all the army of mob agitators raised up revolutions but as for the future it It won't be worthwhile to set up to be traitors. Not an oboe they'll get as their loot. Not an oboe while we have the treasury chest in our command. Magistrate.

What then is it that you propose? Lysistrata. Just this. Merely to take the exchequer henceforth in hand. Magistrate. The exchequer? Lysistrata. Yes.

Why not? Of our capabilities, you have had various clear evidences. Firstly, remember we have always administered soundly the budget of all home expenses. Magistrate. But this matter is different. Lysistrata. How is it different? Magistrate.

Why, it deals chiefly with wartime supplies. Lysistrata. But we abolish war straight by our policy. Magistrate. What will you do if emergencies arise? Lisi Strata. Face them out our own way. Magistrate.

What? You will? Lisi Strata. Yes, we will. Magistrate. Then there's no help for it. We are all destroyed. Lisi Strata.

No, willy-nilly you must be safeguarded. Magistrate. What madness is this? This is this. Lisi Strata. Why, it seems you're annoyed. It must be done, that's all. Magistrate.

Such awful oppression never, oh never in the past, yet I bore. Lisi Strata. You must be saved, sir. That's all there is to it. Magistrate. If we don't want to be saved. Lisi Strata, all the more. Magistrate.

Why do you? women come prying and meddling in matters of state touching wartime in peace. Lysistrata, that I will tell you. Magistrate, oh, tell me or quickly I'll, Lysistrata, harken a while and from threatening cease. Magistrate, I cannot, I cannot, it's growing too insolent. Women, come on, you far more than we have to dread. Magistrate. "'Stop from your croaking, old carrying crow there.

"'Continue.' "'Lisi Strata. "'Be calm, then, and I'll go ahead. "'All the long years. "'When the hopeless war dragged along, "'we, unassuming, forgotten in quiet, "'endured without question. "'Indured in our loneliness

"'all your incessant child's antics and riot. "'Our lips were kept tied, "'though aching with silence, "'though well all the wild in our silence, We knew how wretchedly everything still was progressing by listening dumbly the day long to you For always at home you continued discussing the war and its politics loudly and we sometimes would ask you our hearts deep with sorrowing though we spoke lightly though happy to see What's to be inscribed on the side of the treaty stone? What dear was said in the assembly today? Mind your own business he'd answer me growlingly told your tongue one

woman, or else go away. And so I would hold it. Women. I'd not be silent for any man living on earth. No, not I. Magistrate. Not for a staff? Lysistrata.

Well, so I did nothing but sit in the house, feeling dreary and sigh, while ever arrived some fresh tale of decisions, more foolish by far and presaging disaster. Then I would say to him, Oh, my dear husband, why still do they rush on destruction the faster? At which he would look at me sideways, exclaiming, Keep for your web and your shuttle your care, Or for some hours hence your cheeks will be sore and hot. Leave this alone. War is man's sole affair.

Magistrate. By Zeus but a man of fine sense he! Lysistrata. How sensible? You, doctored. because he at no time had lent his intractable ears to absorb from our counsel one temperate word of advice kindly meant but when at last in the streets we heard shouted everywhere ringing the ominous cry is there no one to help us no saviour in athens and no there is no one came back in reply at once a convention of all wives through hellas here for a serious purpose was held to determine how husbands might yet back to wisdom despite their reluctance in time be compelled why then delay any longer it's settled for the future you'll take up our old occupation

now in turn you're to hold tongue as we did and listen while we show the way to recover the nation magistrate you talk to us why you're mad i'll not stand it lacy strata cease babbling you fool till i end hold your tongue magistrate if i should take orders from one who wears veils may my next trade-away be deservedly wrung lisi strata oh if that keeps pestering you i've a veil here for your hair i'll fit you out in everything as is only fair colornese here's a spindle that will do myrne i'll add a wool basket, too. Lacey Strata. Girdled now, sit humbly at home, munching beans, while you card wool and comb, for war from now on is the woman's affair.

Women. Come then, down pictures all, and on, courageous of heart, in our comradley venture, each taking her due part. I could dance, dance, dance, and be fresher after. I could dance away numberless sons, to no weariless let my knees bend. Earth I could brave with laughter. Having such wonderful girls here to friend,

Oh, the daring, the gracious, the beautiful ones! Their courage unswerving and witty will rescue our city. Oh, sprung from the seed of most valiant, Wombed Grandmothers, Sions of savage and dangerous nettles. Prepare for the battle-all. Girt up your angers. Our way, the wind is sweet.

victory settles. Lisi Strata. O tender Eros and Lady of Cyprus, some flush of beauty, I pray you devise, to flash on our bosoms and, O Aphrodite, rosily gleam on our valorous thighs. Joy will raise up its head through the legions warring, and all of the far-seried ranks of mad love bristle the earth to the

pillared horizon, pointing in vain to the heavens above. I think that that. perhaps then they'll give us our title, Peacemakers. Magistrate. What do you mean? Please explain. Lisi Strata. First, we'll not see you now, flourishing arms about, into the marketplace, clang again. Women.

No, by the Papvian. Lisi Strata. Still, I can conjure them as past. Were the herbs stand or crockery sold like Coribans jingling, poor sots, fully armored, they noisily round on their promenade strolled. Magistrate. And rightly, that's discipline. They—

Lysistrata. But what's sillier than to go on an errand of buying a fish carrying along an immense gargum buckler instead of the usual platter or dish? A phylark I lately saw mounted on horseback, dressed for the part with long ringlets and all, Snow in his helmet the omelette bought steaming from an old woman who kept the food stall. Nearby a soldier, A. Thracian, was shaking wildly his spear like Tereus in the play to frighten a fig-girl. While unseen, the ruffian filched from her fruit trays the ripest away. Magistrate

How, may I ask, will your rule re-establish order and justice in lands so tormented? Lacey Strata Nothing is easier. Magistrate. Out with it speedily, what is this plan that you boast you've invented? Lisi Strata. If, when yorn, we are winding, it chances to tangle, then, as per chance you may know, through the skein, this way and that, still the spool we keep passing till it is finally

clear all again. So to untangle the war and its errors, ambassadors out on all sides, we will will send this way and that here there and round about soon you will find that the war has an end magistrate so with these trivial tricks of a household domestic analogies of threads skeins and spools you think that you'll solve such a bitter complexity unwind such political problems you fools Lysistrata. Well, first, as we wash dirty wool, soes to cleanse it, so with a pitiless zeal we will scrub through the whole city for all greasy fellows, burrs, too, the parasites, off we will rub. That verminous plague of insensate place-seekers soon between thumb and forefinger will crack. All who inside Athens' walls have their dwelling into one great common basket will pack. defranchised are citizens, allies or aliens, pell-mell the lot of them, in we will squeeze.

Till they discover humanity's meaning, as for disoriented and four colonies, them you must never from this time imagine is scattered about just like lost hanks of wool. Each portion we'll take and wind into this center, inwards to Athens, each loyally pull, till from the vast heap, where all's pious, together at last can be woven a strong cloak of state magistrate oh how terrible it is to stand here and watch them carding and winding at will with our fate witless in war as they are lacy strata what of us then whoever in vain for our children must weep born but to perish afar and in vain magistrate not that oh let that one memory sleep lisi Lisi Strata. Then, while we should be companioned still merrily, happy as bridesmae the live long night, kissing youth by we are forced to lie single. But leave for a moment our pitiful plight.

It hurts even more to behold the poor maidens helpless wrinkling in staler virginity. Magistrate Does not a man age? Lysistrata. Not in the same. way not as a woman grows withered grows he he when returned from war though gray-headed yet if he wishes can choose out a wife but she has no solace save peering for omens wretched and lonely the rest of her life magistrate but the old man will often select lisa strata oh why not finish and die a beer is easy to buy a honey-cake i'll need you with joy this garland will see you were decked.

Maireen. I also will fill at you. Lisey Strata. What more is lacking. Step aboard the boat. See, Charon shouts a-hoi. You're keeping him. He wants to shove afloat.

Magistrate. Outrageous insults. Thus my place to flout. Now to my fellow magistrates I'll go and what you perpetrated on me show. Lisi-Strahta. lisi strata why are you blaming us for laying you out assure yourself will not forget to make the third day offering early for your sake magistrate retires lissistrata returns within old men all men who call your loins your own awake at last arise and strip to stand in readiness for as it seems to me some more perilous offensive in their heads they now devise.

I'm sure a tyranny like that a hippious. In this I detect they mean to put us under themselves, I suspect. And that Laconian's assembling at Celestathies's house have played a trick of war, and provoke them madly to raid the treasury, in which term I include the pay for my food, for is it not preposterous they should talk this way to us, on a subject such as battle? And women as they are, about bronze bucklers dare prattle.

Make alliance with the Spartans' people eye for one, Like very hungry wolves would always most sincere shun. Some dirty game is up their sleeve, I believe. A tyranny, no doubt. But they won't catch me that no. Henceforth, on my guard I'll go. A sword with my bruntledges wreathed for ever, in my hand, and under arms in the public place I'll take my watchful stand.

Shoulder to shoulder with Aristogetian, now my staff I'll draw and start at once by knocking that shocking hag upon the jaw. Women. Your own mother will not know you when you get back to town, but first my friends and allies, let us lay these garments down. And all ye fellow citizens hark to me while I tell, what will aid athens well just as is right for i have been a sharer in all the lavish splendour of the proud city i bore the holy vessels at seven then i pounded barley at the age of ten and clad in yellow robes soon after this i was little bear to browronian artemus then neckleted with figs grown tall and pretty i was a basket-bearer and so it's obvious i should give you advice that i think good the very best i can

it should not prejudice my voice that i'm not born a man if i say something advantageous to the present situation for i'm taxed too and as a toll provide men for i'm taxed too and as a toll provide men for the nation. While miserable graybeards, you, it is true, contribute nothing of any importance whatever to our needs, but the treasury raised against the meads, you squandered and do nothing in return, save that you make our lives and persons hazardous by some imbecile mistakes. What can you answer? Now be careful, don't arise my spite, or with my slipper I'll take you snapping, face slapping, left and right. Men. What villainies they contrive!

Come, let vengeance fall. You that below the waist are still alive. Off with your tunics at my call? Naked all. For a man must strip to battle like a man. No quaking, brave steps taking, Careless what's ahead, White-shoed in the nude, onward, bold.

All ye, who garrisoned Lepsydrian of old, let each one wag as youthfully as he can, and if he has the cause at heart, rise at least a span. We must take a stand and keep to it, for if we yield the smallest bit to their importunity, then nowhere with their inroads will be left to us immunity. But they'll be building ships, and soon their navies will attack us. as Artemisia did, and seek to fight us and to sack us. And if they mount, the knights they'll rob of a job, for everyone knows how talented they are in the saddle,

having long practiced how to straddle, no matter how they're jogged there up and down, they're never thrown. Then think of Myron's painting, and each horse backed Amazon in combat hand to hand with men, Come on these women fall, and in pierced wood-collars let's stick quick the necks of one and all. Women, don't cross me or I'll loose the beast that's kenneled here, and soon you'll be howling for a truce, howling out with fear. But, my dear, strip also that women may battle unhindered. But you, you'll be too sore to eat garlic more, or one black bean.

I really mean so great's my spleen to kick you black and blue with these my dangerous legs. I'll hatch the lot of you if my rage you dash on, the way the relentless beetle hatched the eagle's eggs. scornfully aside I set every silly old man threat, while Lampito's with me, or dear Ismenia, the noble Theban girl. Then let Decree be hotly piled upon Decree, in vain will be your labors. Your futile rogue abominated by your suffering neighbor, To Hectate's feast I yesterday went, Off I sent to our neighbors in Boecia, asking as a gift to me,

me, for them to pack immediately that darling dainty thing, a good fat eel, I mean, of course. But they refused because some idiotic old decrees in force. Oh, this strange passion for degrees nothing on earth can check. Till someone puts a foot out tripping you and slipping you, break your neck. End of scene two. Scene 3 of Lissistrata by Aristophanes This Librivox recording is in the public domain Scene 3

Within the precincts of the Citadel Lissistrata enters in dismay Women Dear mistress of our martial enterprise Why do you come with sorrow in your eyes? Oh, tis our naughty femininity so weak in one spot that has saddened me. Women.

What is this? Please speak. Lisi Strata. Poor women, oh, so weak. Women, what can it be? Surely your friends may know. Lisi Strata. Yes, I must speak, though it hurts me so.

Women, speak, can we help? Don't stand there mute in need? Lysistrata. I'll burnt it out then. Our women's army mutinied. Women. Oh, Zeus! Lysistrata.

What use is Zeus to our anatomy? Here is the gaping calamity I meant. I cannot shut their ravenous appetites. A moment more now. They are all deserting. The first I caught was sidling through the postern close by the cave of Pan. The next hoisting herself with roland. and pulle down, a third on the point of slipping past.

While a fourth malcontent, seated for instant flight to visit our Salacas on birdback, I dragged off by the hair in time. They are all snatching excuses to sneak home. Look, there goes one. Hey, what's the hurry? First woman. I must get home. I've some Malaysian wool packed wasting away, and the moths are pushing through it.

Lishistrata. Fine moths indeed, I know. Get back within. First woman. By the goddesses, I will return instantly. I only want to stretch it on my bed. Lisi Strata. You shall stretch nothing and go nowhere either.

First woman. Must I never use my wool then? Lysi Strata. If needs be. Second woman. Oh, how unfortunate I am. Oh, my. poor flax. It's left at home unstripped.

Lisi Strata. So here's another that wishes to go home and strip her flax. Inside again. Second woman. No, by the goddess of light. I'll be back as soon as I have flayed it properly. Lisi strata, you'll not flay anything, for if you begin, there'll not be one here but has a patch to be flayed. Third woman.

Oh, holy is. Elythea, stay this birth till I have left the precincts of the place. Lysistrata. What nonsense is this? Third woman. I'll drop it any minute. Lisi Strata. Yesterday you weren't with child.

Third woman. But I am today. Oh, let me find a midwife, Lisi Strata. Oh, quickly. Lisi Strata. Now, what story is this you tell? What is this hard lump here? Third woman.

It's a male child. Lysistrata. By Aphrodite it isn't. Your belly's hollow. And it has the feel of metal. Well, I soon shall see. You, hussy, it's Athena's sacred helm, and you said you were with child. Third woman, and so I am.

Lisi strata. Then why the helm? Third woman. So if the throes should take me still in these grounds, I could use it like a dove As a lay a nest in which to drop the child. Lisi Strata More pretexts. You can't hide your clear intent.

And anyway, why not wait till the tenth day? Meditating a brazen name for your brass brat. Woman. And I can't sleep a wink. My nerve is gone since I saw that snake sentinel of the shrine. Woman, and all those dreadful owls with their weird hooting, though I'm wearied out I can't close an eye. Lysistrata.

You wicked women cease from juggling lies. You want your men. But what of them as well? They toss as sleepless in the lonely night, I'm sure of it. Hold out a while, hold out, but persevere a teeny weenie, longer an oracle has promised victory if we don't wrangle. Would you hear the words? Women.

Yes, yes, what is it? Lisi Strata. Silence, then, you chatterboxes. Here. When as the swallows flocking in one place from the hoopoes deny themselves loves gambles anymore, all woes shall then have ending and great Zeus the thunderer shall put above what was below before. Women. Will the men then always be kept under us? Lisi Strata. But if the swallows squabble among themselves and fly away out of the temple refusing to agree,

then the most wanton birds in all the world they shall be named forever. That's his decree. Woman, it's obvious what it means. Lisi Strata, now by all the good, gods, we must let no agony deter from duty. Back to your quarters, for we are base indeed, my friend, if we betray the oracle. She goes out. Old men. I'd like to remind you of a fable they used to employ when I was a little boy,

how once through fear of the marriage bed a young man, Melanion by name, to the wilderness ran, and there on the hills he dwelt. For hairs he wove a net Which with his dog he set Most likely he's there yet For he never came back home So great was the fear he felt I loathe the sex as much as he And therefore I no less shall be as chaste as was Melanion man granam do you much mind men Woman onions you don't need to cry Man from my foot you shan't escape.

Woman. What thick forests I aspire. Men. So much Myronadus's fierce beard and thundering black back were feared, that the foe fled when they were shown. Brave he as Formion. Women. Well, I'll relate a rival fable just to show you a different point of view.

There was a rough-hune fellow, Timo. with a face that glowered as through a thorn-bush in a wild bleak place. He too decided on flight, this very fury sun, all the world's ways to shun, and hide from everyone, spinning out curses on all knavish men to left and right. But though he reared this hate for men, he loved the women even then, and never thought them enemies. Woman Oh, your jaw I'd like to break.

Man, that I fear do you suppose? Woman. Learn what kicks my legs can make. Man, raise them up and you'll expose, woman. Nay, you'll see there I engage, all is well kept despite my age, and tended smooth enough to slip from any adversary's grip. Lysi Strata appears. Lisi Strata

"'Hello there, hasten hither to me, skip fast along.' "'Woman, what is this? Why the noise?' "'Lisi Strata.' "'A man, a man, I spy a frenzied man. He carries love upon him like a staff. "'Oh, lady of Cyprus and Cythera and Paphos, "'I beseech you, keep our minds and hands to the oath.' Woman Where is he, whoever he is?

Lysistrata By the temple of Chloe Woman, yes, now I see him, but who can he be? Lisi Strata Look at him, does anyone recognize his face? Myrene, I do, he is my husband, Seneasius. Lysi Strata, you know how to work, play with him, lead him on, seduce him to the cozening point.

Kiss him, kiss him. Then slip your mouth aside just as he's sure of it. Ungirdle every caress his mouth feels at. Save what the oath from the bowl has locked. Maureen, you can rely on me. Lisi Strata. I'll stay here to help. I am working up his order to its height of vain magnificence

to rest to their quarters. Enter Sinasius. Who is this that stands within our lines? Senesius. I? Lisi strata. A man? Senecius.

Too much a man. Lisi strata, then be off at once. Senecius, who are you that thus eject me? Lisi strata, guard for the day? Senecius. By all the gods, then, call. Myrene hither. Lisi Strata.

So, call Myrene hither. Who are you? Senecius. I am her husband, Senecius, son of Unthros. Lisi Strata. Welcome, dear friend. That glorious name of yours is quite familiar in our ranks. Your wife continually has it in her mouth.

She cannot touch an apple or an egg, but she must say this to Senecius. Senesius. "'Oh, is that true?' "'Lisi Strata. "'By Aphrodite it is. "'If the conversation strikes on men, "'your wife cuss in with "'all are boobies by Sinesius.'

"'Sanesius. "'Then call her here.' "'Lisi Strata, and what am I to get?' "'Senesius. "'This, if you want it, "'see what I have here, but not to take away. Lysi Strata.

Then I'll call her. Cinesius. Be quick, be quick, all grace is wiped from life since she went away. Oh, sad, sad am I when there I enter on that loneliness, and wine is unvintaged of the sun's flavor, and food is tasteless. But I've put on weight. Myrene, above. I love him, oh so much, but he won't have it.

"'Don't call me down to him.' "'Sinesius. "'Sweet little, Myrene, what do you mean? "'Come here.' "'Mirine. "'Oh, no, I won't. "'Why are you calling me? "'You don't want me?'

"'Sanaceus. "'Not want you? "'With this weak old strength of love?' "'Mirine. "'Farewell.' "'Senaceus. "'Don't go. "'Please don't go, Myrene.

"'At least. You'll hear our child. Call your mother lad. Child. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Senesius. There now. Don't you feel pity for the child?

He hasn't been fed or washed now for six days. Marine. I certainly pity him with so heartless a father. Senesius. Come down, my sweetest. Come for the child's sake. Marine. A trying life it is to be a mother.

I suppose I'd better go. She comes down. Senecius. How much younger she looks. How fresher and how prettier! Myrene! Lift up your lovely face, your disdainful face, and your ankle.

Let your scorn step out as worst. It only rubs me to more ardor here. Myrene, playing with the child, You're as innocent as he is iniquitous. Let me kiss you, honey-pudding, mother's darling. Senezius. How wrong to follow other women's counsel and let loose all these throbbing voids in yourself as well as in me?

Don't you go throb, throb? Mireen, take away your hands. Senecius, everything in the house is being ruined. "'Mirine, I don't care at all.' "'Sanassius. "'The roosters are picking all your web to rags. "'Don't you mind that?' "'Birene. Not I.'

"'Cinesius. "'What time we've wasted! "'We might have drenched with papfian laughter "'flung on Aphrodite's mysteries. "'Oh, come here!' "'Mirine. "'Not till a treaty finishes the war.' "'Sanassius.

"'If you must have it, then we'll get it done.' "'Mirine, do it, and I'll come home. "'Till then I am bound.' "'Senestius. "'Well, can't your oath perhaps be got around?' "'Marine. "'No, no, still I'll not say that I don't love you.' "'Sanessius.

"'You love me? "'Then, dear girl, let me also love you.' "'Marine. You must be joking. The boy's looking on. Senezius. Here, Manez, take the child home. There, he's gone.

There's nothing in the way now. Come to the point. Mareen. Here, in the open, in plain sight? Senecius. In Pance Cave, a splendid place. Marene, where shall I dress my hair again before returning to the citadel? Senesius.

You can easily primp yourself in the Klebsidra. Marine. But how can I break my oath? Senesius. Leave that to me. I'll take all the risk. Marine. Well, I'll make you comfortable.

Senesius. Don't worry. I'd as soon lie on the grass. Myrene. No, by Apollo, in spite of all your faults. I won't have you lying on the net. nasty earth. From here, Myrene keeps on going off to fetch things.

Senezius. Ah, how she loves me. Marine. Rest there on the bench while I arrange my clothes. Oh, what a nuisance I must find some cushions first. Senesius. Why some cushions? Please don't get them.

Marine. What? The plain, hard wood? Never by Artemis. That would be too vulgar. Seneasius. Open your arms, Marine. No, wait a second.

Senesius. Oh, then hurry back again. Myrene. Here the cushions are. Lie down while I. Oh, dear, but what a shame. You need more pillows. Senesius.

I don't want them, dear. Myrene. But I do. Senesius. Thwarted affection, mine. They treat you just like Heracles at a feast with cheats of dainties. Oh, disappointing arms. Myrene.

Raise up your head. Senecius. There, that's everything at last. Myrene. Yes, all. Senecius, then run to my arms, you golden girl. Myrene, I'm loosening my girdle now. But you've not forgotten.

You're not deceiving me about the treaty. Senesius. No, by my life I'm not. Maireen. Why, you've no blanket? Senesius. It's not the silly blanket's warmth, but yours I want. Maureen, never mind.

You'll soon have both. I'll come straight back. Senesius. The woman will choke me with her coverlets. Marine. Get up a moment. Senesius, I'm up high enough. "'Mirene, would you like me to perfume you?'

"'Senestius. "'By Apollo, no.' "'Mirine. "'By Aphrodite, I'll do it anyway.' "'Sinetius. "'Lard, Zeus, may she soon use up all the myrrh. "'Mireem, stretch out your hand, take it and rub it in.' "'Sanethius.

"'Hem, it's not as fragrant as might be, that is, "'not before it's smeared. It doesn't smell of kisses. Myrene. How silly I am. I've brought you roadie incense. Senesius. It's good enough.

Leave it, love. Myrene. You must be jesting. Senesius. Plague racked the man who first compounded scent. Myrene. Here, take this flask. Senesius.

I have a far better one. Don't tease me. Come here and get nothing more. Marine, I'm coming. I'm just drawing off my shoes. You're sure you will vote for peace? Senesius, I'll think about it. She runs off. I'm dead. The woman's worn me all away.

She's gone and left me with an anguished pulse. Men. Balked in your amorous delight, how melancholy is your plight. With sympathy, your case I view, for I am sure it's hard on you. What human being could sustain this unforeseen domestic strain, and not a single trace of willing women in the place. Senecius. O Zeus, what throbbing, suffering!

Men, she did it all, the harlot, she with her atrocious harlot-tree. Women. Nay, rather call her darling sweet? Men. What, sweet? She's a rude, wicked thing. Cinesius.

A wicked thing, as I repeat, O Zeus, O Zeus, Canst thou not suddenly let loose some twirling hurricane To tear her flapping up along the air And drop her when she's whirled around here to the ground, Neatly impaled upon the stake That's ready upright for her sake.

He goes out. Enter Spartan Herald. The magistrate comes forward. Herald. What here gabs the Senate and the Britannes? I have fetched dispatches for them. Magistrate. Are you a man or a monstrosity?

Harold. My shrimp-brained lad, I am a herald, as ye see, who have come from Sparta, aren't a piece. Magistrate. Then why do you hide that lance that sticks out under your arms? Harold. I've brought no lance? Magistrate. Then why do you turn aside and hold your cloak so far out from your body?

Is your groin swollen with stress of traveling? Harold. By castor, I'll swear the man is wood. Magistrate. Indeed, your cloak is wide, my rascal fellow. Harold. But I tell ye no, an hour of fleering. Magistrate.

Well, what is it then? Harold, it's my dispatch, cane. Magistrate. Of course, a Spartan cane. But speak right out. I know all this too well. Are new privations springing up in Sparta? Harold.

Hark, hard as could be in lofty, lusty columns. our allies stand united. We mon get pelling. Magistrate. Whence has this evil come? Is it from Pan? Harold. No, Lampito first ran Esclint,

then the others sprinted after her example and blocked the hissies, their wames unscathed against our every fleece. Magistrates, What did you do? Harold We are broken and bent double, Limp like men carrying lanthorns

In great winds about the city They winna let us even with lightest neaf skim their primsy-pities Till we've concluded peace terms with a hellas Magistrate So the conspiracy is universal This proves it Then return to Sparta Bid them send in voice with full powers to treat of peace

and I will urge the Senate here to choose Pliny Potentiary Ambassadors as argument adducing this connection. Harold. I'm off. Your wisdom none could contravent. They retire. Men. There is no beast, no rush of fire like woman so untamed.

She calmly goes her away where even Panthers would be shamed. Women. And yet, You are fool enough, it seems, to dare to war with me, when, for your faithful ally, you might win me easily. Men. Never could the hate I feel for womankind grow less. Women. Then have your will.

But I'll take pity on your nakedness, for I can see just how ridiculous you look, and so will help you with your tunic if close up I may now go. Men Well, that by Zeus is no scoundrel deed I frankly will admit I only took them off myself in a scoundrel raging fit Women Now you look sensible and that your men no one could doubt If you were but good friends again I'd take the insect out that hurt your eye Men

Is that what's wrong? This nasty bitey thing Please squeeze it out and show you. me what it is that makes this sting. It's been painting me a long while now. Women. Well, I'll agree to that. Although you're most unmannerly. Oh, what a giant gnat. Here, look, it comes from marshy trichorusus. I can tell. Men. Oh, thank you. It was digging out a veritable well. Now that it's gone, I can't hold back my tears. See how they fall. Women, I'll wipe them off, bad as you are, and kiss you after all. Men, I won't be kissed. Women, oh, yes, you will. Your wishes do not matter.

Men, oh, botheration take you all. How you could joll and flatter. A hell it is to live with you, to live without a hell. How truly was that said. But come, these enmities let's quell. Let's stop from giving orders, and I'll stop from doing wrong. So let's join ranks and seal our bargain with a coric song. Chorus. Athenians, it's not our intention to sow political dissension by giving any scandal mention, but on the contrary to promote good feeling in the state by word indeed,

we've had enough calamities of late. So let a man or woman but divulge, they need a trifle say, Two menas, three or four. I've purses here that bulge. There's only one condition made. Indulge my women, this I pray. When peace is signed once more,

On no account am I to be repaid. And I'm making preparation for a gay select collation With some use of reputation. I've managed to produce some soup, and they're slaughtering for me a sucking pig. Its flesh should taste as tender as could be. I shall expect you at my house to-day. To the baths make an early visit, and bring your children along. Don't dawdle on the way.

Ask no one. Enter as if the place was all your own. Yours henceforth is it. If nothing chance is wrong, the door will then be shut bang in your face. The Spartan ambassadors approach. Horus. Here come the Spartan envoys with long, worried beards. Hail Spartans, how do you fare?

Did anything new arise? Spartans. No need for a clutter of words. Do you see our condition? Chorus. The situation swells to greater tension. Something will explode soon. Spartans, It's awful truly, but come, let us with the best speed we may scribble a piece.

Chorus, I notice that our men, like wrestlers poised for contest, hold their clothes out from their bellies, and athletes' melody, since exercise alone can bring relief. Athenians. Can anyone tell us where Lysistrata is? There is no need to describe our men's condition. shows up plainly enough. Chorus. It's the same disease. Do you feel a jerking throbbing in the morning? Athenians.

By Zeus, yes. In these straits I'm racked all through, unless peace is soon declared we shall be driven in the void of women to try chlyssetinis. Chorus, be wise, then cover those things with your tunics. Who knows what kind of person may perceive you? you. Athenians. By Zeus, you're right. Spartans, by the twa goddesses, indeed ye are. Let's put our tunics on. Athenians. Hail, oh, my fellow sufferers. Hail Spartans. Spartans. Oh, henny, darling, what a woeful thing if they had seen us with our lunging waddies.

Athenians. Tell us then, Spartans, what has brought you here? Spartans, we come to treat of peace. Athenians. Well spoken there, and we the same, let us call out Lysistrata, since she alone can settle the peace terms. Spartans, call Lysistratus too, if ye don't mind. Chorus, No, indeed, she hears she. your voices and she comes.

Enter Lysistrata. Hail wonder of all women. Now you must be in turn, hard, shifting, clear, deceitful, noble, crafty, sweet and stern. The foremost men of Hellas, smitten by your fascination, have brought their tangled quarrels here for your soul arbitration. Lysistrata. An easy task, if the love's raging. homesickness doesn't start trying out how well each other will serve instead of us. But I'll know at once, if they do.

Oh, where's that girl, reconciliation? Bring first before me the Spartan delegates, and see you'll lift no rude or violent hands. None of the churlish ways our husbands used, but lead them courteously as women should. And if they grudge fingers, guide them by a... other methods, and introduce them with ready tact. The Athenians draw by whatever offers you a grip. Now, Spartans, stay here facing me. Here, you Athenians.

Both hearken to my words, I am a woman, but I am not a fool. And what of natural intelligence I own has been filled out with the remembered precepts my father and the city elders taught me. First, I reproach you both sides equally. That when, at Pile and Olympia, at Pitho, and the many other shrines that I could name, you sprinkle from one cup the altars common to all Helenes. Yet you rack Hellenic cities, bloody hellas with deaths of her own sons,

while yonder clangs the gathering menace of barbarians. Athenians We cannot hold it in much longer now Lissistrata Now unto you, O Spartans, do I speak Do you forget your own countryman Pericles? Once came hither sublient

Before our altars, pale in his purple robes, Praying for an army When Missina danger growled And the sea-god made earth quaver Then with four thousand hoplights Simon marched and saved all Sparta. Yet, base in greats now you are ravaging the soil of your preservers. Athenians.

By Zeus, they do great wrong, Lizzy Strata. Spartans, great wrong indeed. Oh, what a luscious wench! Lysi Strata. And now I turn to the Athenians. Have you forgotten, too, how once the Spartan, in days when you wore slavish tunics, came and with their spears, broke a Thessalian host, and all the partisans of Hippas?

They alone stood by your shoulder on that day. They freed you, so that for the slave's short skirt you should wear the trailing cloak of liberty. Spartans, I've never seen a nobler woman anywhere. Athenians, nor I was such prettily joining. hips. Lysistrata. Now, brethren, twined with mutual benefactions. Can you still war?

Can you suffer such disgrace? Why not be friends? What is there to prevent you? Spartans. We're agreed, Jen, that we get this tempting mole. Lysistrata. Which one? Spartans.

That one we've wanted to get into. Oh, for so long. Pylos, of course. Athenians. By Poseidon, never. Lysistrata, give it up. Athenians, Then what will we do?

We need that ticklish place united to us. Lysistrata, ask for some other lurking hold in return. Athenians, then, ah, we'll choose this snug thing here, Aquinas. Shall we call us? call the nestling spot, and this backside haven, these desirable twin promontories, the Maliac, and then, of course, these Megarian legs. Spartans, not that. Oh, surely not that.

Never that. Lysistrata. Agree, now what are two legs, more or less? Athenians, I want to strip at once and plow my land, Spartans, and my land. Spartans. And mine, I want to fertilize it once. Lissistrata. And so you can, when peace is once declared.

If you mean it, get your allies' heads together and come to some decision. Athenians. What allies? There is no distinction in our politics. We've risen as one man to this conclusion. Every ally is jumping mad to drive it home. Spartans, and ours the same for sure. Athenians.

The Caristians first, I'll bet on that. Lysistrata, I agree with all of you. Now off, and cleanse yourself for the Acropolis, for we invite you all into a supper from our commissariat baskets. There at table you will pledge good behavior and a brightness, then each man's wife is his to hustle home. Athenians, come as quickly as possible. Spartans, as quick as you like, lead on.

Athenians, oh Zeus, quick, quick, lead quickly on. They hurry off. Chorus. Broadered stuffs on high I'm heaping, fashionable cloaks and sweeping trains, not even gold gods keeping. Take them all, I pray you, take them all, I do not care, and deck your children, your daughter, if the basket she's to bear. Come every one of you, come in and take of this rich whore to share.

Nauts tied so skillfully, but it's seal you can break, and plunder all you spy inside. I've laid out all that I can spare, and therefore you will see nothing, unless than I, you're a shale. sharper-eyed, if lacking corn a man should be, while his slaves clamber hungrily, and his excessive progeny, then I have a handful of grain at home, which is always to be had, and to which, in fact, a more-than-life-size loaf I'd gladly add. Then let the poor bring with them bag or sack, and take this store of food. Mains, my man, I'll tell to help them all to pack their wallets full,

But, oh, take care, I had forgotten, don't intrude, or terrified you yell. My dog is hungry, too, and bites, beware. Some loungers from the market with torches approach the banqueting hall. The porter bars their entrance. First market lounger. Open the door, Porter. Here, move along. First market lounger.

What's this? You're sitting down. shall i send you with my torch that's vulgar oh i couldn't do it yet if it would gratify the audience i'll mortify myself second market lounger and i will too we'll both be crude and vulgar yes we will porter be off at once now or you'll be wailing dirges for your hair get off at once and see you don't disturb the spartan envoys just coming out from the splendid feast they've had. The banqueters begin to come out. First Athenian. I've never known such a pleasant banquet before.

And what delightful fellows the Spartans are. When we are warm with wine, how wise we grow. Second Athenian. That's only fair, since sober we are such fools. This is the advice I'd give the Athenians. See, our ambassadors are always drunk, for when we visit Sparta sober, then we're on the alert for trickery all the while, so that we miss half the things they say, and misinterpret things that were never said, and then report the muddle back to Athens.

But now we're charmed with each other. They might cap with telemon catch instead of Clytogora, and we'd applaud and praise them just the same. We're not too scrupulous in. weighing words. Porter. Why, here the rascals, come again to plague me. Won't you move on, you sorry loafers there?

Market Langer. Yes, by Zeus, they're already coming out. Spartans. Now, honey, dearest, please take up your pipe, that I may try a spring and sing my best in honor of the Athenians and ourselves. Athenians. Aye, take your pipe. By all the gods there's nothing could glad my heart more than to watch you dance.

Spartans, Nemocene, let thy fire storm these yonkers a tongue with stormy ecstasy. My muse that knows our deeds and theirs. How, when at sea, their navy swooped upon the meads at Artemisian. Gods for their courage did they strike wrenching a triumph from their foes. While at Thermopylae, Leonidas' army. stood wild boars they were like wild boars that with fierce threat their terrible tusks wet the sweat ran streaming down each twisted face feign blossoming and strange petals of death painted from mortal breath the sweat drenched other bodies in that place for the hurly burly of the persians glittered more than the sands on the shore

Come, hunting girl, and hear my prayer. You whose arrows whizz and woodlands come and bless this peace, we swear. Let us be fenced with age-long amity. O let this bond stick ever firm through thee and friendly happiness. Henceforth, no guile for perjury be seen. O hither, hither, O thou wild-wood queen! Lysistrata. Earth is delighted now.

Peace is the voice of earth. Spartans sort out your wives. Athenians yours. Let each catch hands with his wife and dance his joy. Dance out his thanks. Be grateful in music and promise reformation with his heels. Athenians. O dancers, forward, lead out the graces.

Call Artemis out. Then her brother, the dancer of skies. That gracious Apollo invoked with a shout, Dionysius, out of whose eyes, breaks fire on the menads of that follow. And Zeus, with his flares of quick lightning, and call happy Hera queen of all. And all the daemon summon hither to be, witnesses of our revelry, and of the noble peace we have made, Aphrodite, our aid. Low, peon, low cry for victory leap, attained by me, leap.

U-I-I-Y-I-Y-I-Y-I-Y-I-I. Spartans Piper, give us the music for a new song. Spartans, Leaving again lovely, lofty take-eatus, Hither, O Spartan muse, hither to greet us, And with our coric voice to raise, To Amicleon Apollo, praise,

And Tenderis' gallant sons whose days Alang Eurotus's bank merrily pass, And Athene of the house of brass, Now the dance begin. Dance! Make swirl your fringe, O woolly skin, While we join voices, To him, dear Sparta,

That rejoices in a beautiful song, And love to see dancers tangled beautifully. For the girls in tumbled ranks, Alang, Eurotas, spanks, Like wanton fillies thrang, Frolicking there. And, like Bacete's, the wild air to comb a giddy laughter through the air.

Bacquetes that clinch thrice as they sweep to the ecstatic leap. And Helen, child Alita, come, thou holy, nimble, graceful queen. Lead thou the dance, gather thy joyful tresses up in bands, and play like a fawn. To madden them clap thy hands, and sing praise to the warrior goddesses templed in our lands. her of the house of brass. End of scene three. End of Lissistrata by Aristophanes.