Classic Audiobook Collection - Prayers and Meditations by Samuel Johnson ~ Full Audiobook [religion]

Starting point is 00:00:00 Section 1 of prayers and meditations by Samuel Johnson 1738 September On my birthday O God, the Creator and Preserver of all mankind Father of all mercies, I thine unworthy servant do give thee most humble thanks for all thy goodness and loving kindness to me. I bless thee for my creation,

Starting point is 00:00:31 preservation and redemption, for the knowledge of thy son, Jesus Christ, for the means of grace and the hope of glory. In the days of childhood and youth, in the midst of weakness, blindness, and danger, thou hast protected me. Amidst afflictions of mind, body and estate, thou hast supported me. And amidst vanity and wickedness thou hast spared me. Grant, O merciful Father, that I may have a lively sense of thy mercies. Create in me a contrite heart, that I may worthily lament my sins and acknowledge my wickedness, and obtain remission and forgiveness through the satisfaction of Jesus Christ. And, O Lord, enable me by thy grace to redeem the time which I have spent in sloth, vanity and wickedness, to make use of thy gifts to the honour of

Starting point is 00:01:39 thy name, to lead a new life in thy faith, fear and love, and finally to obtain everlasting life. grant this almighty lord for the merits and through the mediation of our most holy and blessed saviour jesus christ to whom with thee and the holy ghost three persons and one god be all honour and glory world without end amen this is the first solemn prayer of which i have a copy whether i composed any before this i question seventeen forty four to 45. The 1st of January. Almighty and everlasting God, in whose hands are life and death, by whose will all things were created, and by whose providence they are sustained, I return thee thanks that thou hast given me life, and that thou hast continued it to this time, that thou hast hitherto

Starting point is 00:02:52 forborne to snatch me away in the midst of sin and folly. and hast permitted me still to enjoy the means of grace, and vouchsafe to call me yet again to repentance. Grant, O merciful Lord, that thy call may not be vain, that my life may not be continued to increase my guilt, and that thy gracious forbearance may not harden my heart in wickedness. Let me remember, O my God, that as days and years pass,

Starting point is 00:03:26 over me, I approach nearer to the grave where there is no repentance, and grant that by the assistance of the Holy Spirit I may so pass through this life, that I may obtain life everlasting for the sake of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen. 1747 to 48. The 1st of January. Almighty and Most Merciful Father, who has not yet yet yet. suffered me to fall into the grave. Grant that I may so remember my past life as to repent of the days and years which I have spent in forgetfulness of thy mercy and neglect of my own salvation.

Starting point is 00:04:17 And so use the time which thou shalt yet allow me, as that I may become every day more diligent in the duties which in thy providence thou shall be assigned me. And that, when at last I shall be called to judgment, I may be received as a good and faithful servant into everlasting happiness, for the sake of Jesus Christ, our Lord, Amen. 1749 to 50. The 1st of January, after 3 in the morning, Almighty God, by whose will I was created and by whose providence I have been sustained, by whose mercy I have been called to the knowledge of my Redeemer, and by whose grace whatever I have thought or acted acceptable to thee has been

Starting point is 00:05:13 inspired and directed. Grant, O Lord, that in reviewing my past life, I may recollect thy mercies to my preservation, in whatever state thou hast preparersed for me, that in affliction I may remember how often I have been succoured, and in prosperity may know and confess from whose hand the blessing is received. Let me, O Lord, so remember my sins, that I may abolish them by true repentance, and so improve the year to which thou hast graciously extended my life, and all the years which thou shalt yet allow me, that I may hourly become purer in thy sight, so that I may live in thy fear and die in thy favour, and find mercy at the last day, for the sake. For the sake, of Jesus Christ. Amen. Prayer on the Rambler. Almighty God, the giver of all good things, without whose help

Starting point is 00:06:23 all labour is ineffectual, and without whose grace all wisdom is folly. Grant, I beseech thee, that in this my undertaking, thy Holy Spirit may not be withheld from me, but that I may promote thy glory and the salvation both of myself and others. Grant this, O Lord, for the sake of Jesus Christ. Amen. End of Section 1. Section 2 of prayers and meditations by Samuel Johnson. This Librevox recording is in the public domain. 1752. Prayers composed by me on the death of my wife, under a positive. among her memorials. The 27th of April, 1742.

Starting point is 00:07:22 Almighty and most merciful Father, who loveth those whom thou punished, and turnest away thy anger from the penitent, look down with pity upon my sorrows, and grant that the affliction which it has pleased thee to bring upon me, may awaken my conscience, enforce my resolutions of a better life, and impress upon me such conviction of thy power and goodness

Starting point is 00:07:48 that I may place in thee my only felicity and endeavour to please thee in all my thoughts, words and actions. Grant, O Lord, that I may not languish in fruitless and unavailing sorrow, but that I may consider from whose hand all good and evil is received, and may remember that I am punished for my sins, and hope for comfort only by repentance. Grant, O merciful God, that by the assistance of thy Holy Spirit I may repent,

Starting point is 00:08:24 and be comforted, obtain that peace which the world cannot give, pass the residue of my life in humble resignation and cheerful obedience, and when it shall please thee to call me from this mortal state, resign myself into thy hand with faith in confidence, confidence, and finally obtain mercy and everlasting happiness for the sake of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen. The 25th of April 1752. O Lord, our Heavenly Father, Almighty and most merciful God, in whose hands are life and death, who givest and takest away, castest down and raiseest up, look with mercy upon the affliction of thy unworthy servant

Starting point is 00:09:18 turn away thine anger from me and speak peace to my troubled soul grant me the assistance and comfort of thy holy spirit that I may remember with thankfulness the blessings so long enjoyed by me in the society of my departed wife make me so to think on her precepts an example that I may imitate whatever was in her life acceptable in thy sight, and avoid all by which she offended thee. Forgive me, O merciful Lord, all my sins,

Starting point is 00:09:55 and enable me to begin and perfect that reformation which I promised her, and to persevere in that resolution which she implored thee to continue in the purposes which I recorded in thy sight, when she lay dead before me, in obedience to thy laws and faith in thy word. And now, O Lord, release me from my sorrow, fill me with just hopes, true faith and holy consolations, and enable me to do my duty in that state of life to which thou hast been pleased to call me, without disturbance from fruitless grief or tumultuous imaginations, that in all my thoughts, words and actions, I may glorify thy holy name, and finally obtain what I hope

Starting point is 00:10:46 thou hast granted to thy departed servant, everlasting joy and felicity, through our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen. The 6th of May, 1752, O Lord, our Heavenly Father, without whom all purposes are frustrate. All efforts are vain. Grant me the assistance of thy Holy Spirit, that I may not sorrow as one without hope, but may now return to the duties of my present state with humble confidence in thy protection, and so govern my thoughts and actions that neither business may withdraw my mind from thee, nor idleness lay me open to vain imaginations. That neither praise may fill me with pride, nor censure with discontent. But that in the changes of this life,

Starting point is 00:11:47 I may fix my heart upon the reward which thou hast promised to them that serve thee. And that wherever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever are pure, whatever are lovely, whatever are of good report,

Starting point is 00:12:05 wherein there is virtue, wherein there is praise, I may think upon and do, and obtain mercy, and everlasting happiness. Grant this, O Lord, for the sake of Jesus Christ. Amen. November.

Starting point is 00:12:27 Before any new study. Almighty God, in whose hands are all the powers of man, who givest understanding and takest away, who, as it seemeth good unto thee, enlightenest the thoughts of the simple and darkeness the meditations of the wise, be present with me in my studies and inquiries. Grant, O Lord, that I may not lavish away the life

Starting point is 00:12:58 which thou hast given me on useless trifles, nor waste it in vain searches after things which thou has hidden from me. Enable me, by the Holy Spirit, so to shun, sloth and negligence, that every day may discharge part of the task which thou hast allotted me, and so further with thy help that labour which, without thy help, must be ineffectual, that I may obtain, in all my undertakings, such success as will promote thy glory, and the salvation of my soul, for the sake of Jesus Christ.

Starting point is 00:13:37 Amen. The 19th of November after time negligently and unprofitably spent. O Lord, in whose hands are life and death, by whose power I am sustained, and by whose mercy I am spared, look down upon me with pity. Forgive me that I have this day neglected the duty

Starting point is 00:14:07 which thou hast assigned to it, and suffered the hours of which I must give account to pass away without any endeavour to accomplish thy will or to promote my own salvation. Make me remember, O God, that every day is thy gift, and ought to be used according to thy command. Grant me, therefore, so to repent of my negligence, that I may obtain mercy from thee, and pass the time which thou shalt yet allow me in diligent performance of thy commands. through Jesus Christ. Amen. End of Section 2.

Starting point is 00:14:55 Section 3 of prayers and meditations by Samuel Johnson. This Librevox recording is in the public domain. 1753. On Easter Day, the 22nd of April. O Lord, who give us the grace of repentance and hear us the prayers of the penitent, grant that by true, contrition, I may obtain forgiveness of all the sins committed, and of all duties neglected,

Starting point is 00:15:30 in my union with the wife whom thou hast taken from me, for the neglect of joint's devotion, patient exultation, and mild instruction. And, O Lord, who can't change evil to good, grant that the loss of my wife may so mortify all inordinate affections in me, that I may henceforth please thee by holiness of life. And, O Lord, so far as it may be lawful for me, I commend to thy fatherly goodness the soul of my departed wife, beseeching thee to grant her whatever is best in her present state, and finally to receive her to eternal happiness.

Starting point is 00:16:16 All this I beg, for Jesus Christ's sake, whose death I am now about to commemorate. Amen. 1754 the 28th of March in the morning. O God, who on this day were pleased to take from me my dear wife,

Starting point is 00:16:45 sanctify to me my sorrows and reflections, grant that I may renew and practice the resolutions which I made when thy afflicting hand was upon me. Let the remembrance of thy judgments by which my wife is taken away, awaken me to repentance, and the sense of thy mercy by which I am spared, strengthen my hope and confidence in thee, that by the assistance and comfort of thy Holy Spirit I may so pass through things temporal, as finally to gain everlasting happiness, and to pass by a holy and happy death into the joy which thou hast prepared for those that love thee.

Starting point is 00:17:30 Grant this, O Lord, for the sake of Jesus Christ. Amen. The melancholy of this day hung long upon me. Of the resolutions made this day, I in some measure kept that of breaking from indolence. The 28th of March 1754 At night Almighty God Vouch safe to sanctify

Starting point is 00:18:05 onto me the reflections and resolutions of this day Let not my sorrow be unprofitable Let not my resolutions be vain Grant that my grief may produce true repentance So that I may live to please thee and when the time shall come that I must die like her whom thou hast taken from me, grant me eternal happiness in thy presence, through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Starting point is 00:18:34 Amen. 1755 On the study of philosophy as an instrument of living. July O Lord, who hast ordained labour to be the lot of man, and seeest the necessities of all thy creatures, bless my studies and endeavours. Feed me with food convenient for me, and if it shall be thy good pleasure to instruct me with plenty, give me a compassionate heart, that I may be ready to relieve the wants of others.

Starting point is 00:19:16 Let neither poverty nor riches estrange my heart from thee, but assist me with thy grace so to live as that I may die in thy faith. for the sake of Jesus Christ. Amen. This study was not pursued. 1756. The 1st of January. Afternoon. Almighty and everlasting God, in whom we live and move and have our being, glory be to thee for my recovery from sickness and the continuance of my life. Grant, O my God, that I may improve the year which I am now beginning, and all the days which thou shalt add to my life, by serious repentance and diligent obedience,

Starting point is 00:20:15 that, by the help of thy Holy Spirit, I may use the means of grace to my own salvation, and at last enjoy thy presence in eternal happiness, for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen. Hill Boothby's death January, 1757. O Lord God, Almighty disposer of all things, in whose hands are life and death,

Starting point is 00:20:49 who givest comforts and takest them away, I return thee thanks for the good example of Hill Boothby, whom thou hast now taken away, and implore thy grace that I may improve the opportunity of instruction which thou hast afforded me by the knowledge of her life, and by the sense of her death. that I may consider the uncertainty of my present state, and apply myself earnestly to the duties which thou hast set before me, that living in thy fear I may die in thy favour, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. When my eye was restored to its use,

Starting point is 00:21:38 the 15th of February, 1756. Almighty God, who hast restored, light to my eye, and enabled me to pursue again the studies which thou has set before me. Teach me, by the diminution of my sight, to remember that whatever I possess is thy gift, and by its recovery, to hope for thy mercy. And, O Lord, take not thy Holy Spirit from me, but grant that I may use thy bounties according to thy will, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. Introductory Prayer

Starting point is 00:22:22 The 25th of March 1756 O God, who desirest not the death of a sinner, look down with mercy upon me, now daring to call upon thee. Let thy Holy Spirit so purify my affections and exalt my desires, that my prayer may be acceptable in thy sight.

Starting point is 00:22:48 Through Jesus Christ, Amen. The 28th of month. about two in the morning, Almighty God, our Heavenly Father, whose judgments terminate in mercy, grant I beseech thee that the remembrance of my wife, whom thou hast taken from me, may not load my soul with unprofitable sorrow, but may excite in me true repentance of my sins and negligences, and, by the cooperation of thy grace, may produce it. in me a new life, pleasing to thee. Grant that the loss of my wife may teach me the true use of the blessings which are yet left me, and that, however bereft of worldly comforts, I may find peace and

Starting point is 00:23:44 refuge in thy service through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen. End of Section 3. Section 4 of prayers and meditations by Samuel Johnson. This Libre of Vaux recording is in the public domain. 1757, the 1st of January, at 2 in the morning. Almighty God, who hast brought me to the beginning of another year, and by prolonging my life invite us to repentance, forgive me that I have misspent the time past. Enable me, from this instant, to amend my life according to thy holy word. Grant me thy Holy Spirit that I may so pass through things temporal as not finally to lose the things eternal. O God, hear my prayer for the sake of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Starting point is 00:24:59 Easter Eve Almighty God, Heavenly Father, who desirest not the death of a sinner, look down with mercy upon me, depraved with vain imaginations and entangled in long habits of sin. Grant me that grace, without which I can neither will nor do what is acceptable to thee. Pardon my sins, remove the impediments that hinder my obedience, and enable me to shake off sloth and to redeem the time misspent in idleness and sin by a diligent application of the days yet remaining, to the duties which thy providence shall allot me. O God, grant me thy Holy Spirit, that I may repent and amend my life. Grant me contrition, grant me resolution, for the sake of Jesus

Starting point is 00:25:58 Christ, to whose covenant I now implore admission, of the benefits of whose death I implore participation. For his sake, have mercy on me, O God. For his sake, O God, pardon and receive me. Amen. The 18th of September, 1757. Almighty and most merciful Father, by whose providence my life has been prolonged, and who has granted me now to begin another year of probation, vouchsave me such assistance of thy Holy Spirit, that the continuance of my life may not add to the next.

Starting point is 00:26:42 measure of my guilt. But that I may so repent of the days and years past in neglect of the duties which thou has set before me, in vain thoughts, in sloth and in folly, that I may apply my heart to true wisdom, by diligence redeem the time lost, and by repentance obtain pardon for the sake of Jesus Christ. Amen. Easter Day, the 26th of March. Almighty and most merciful Father, who hast created me to love and to serve thee, enable me so to partake of the sacrament

Starting point is 00:27:30 in which the death of Jesus Christ is commemorated, that I may henceforward lead a new life in thy faith and fear. Thou, who knowest my frailties and infirmities, strengthen and support me. Grant me thy Holy Spirit, that, after all my lapses, I may now continue steadfast in obedience, that, after long habits of negligence and sin, I may at last work out my salvation with diligence and constancy, purify my thoughts from pollutions, and fix my affections on things eternal. Much of my time past has been lost in sloth.

Starting point is 00:28:16 Let not what remains, O Lord, be given me in vain, but let me, from this time, lead a better life and serve thee with a quiet mind through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. The 28th of March, 1758. Almighty and eternal God, who givest life and takest it away, grant that while thou shalt prolong my continuance on earth,

Starting point is 00:28:50 I may live with due sense of thy mercy and forbearance, and let the remembrance of her whom thy hand has separated from me, teach me to consider the shortness and uncertainty of life, and to use all diligence to obtain eternal happiness in thy presence. O God, enable me to avoid sloth And to attend heedfully and constantly To thy word and worship Whatever was good in the example of my departed wife

Starting point is 00:29:23 Teach me to follow And whatever was amiss Give me grace to shun That my affliction may be sanctified And that remembering how much every day brings me nearer to the grave I may every day purify my mind mind and amend my life by the assistance of thy Holy Spirit till at last I shall be accepted by thee for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen. The 18th of September. Almighty and most merciful Father,

Starting point is 00:29:59 who yet spareest and yet supportest me, who supportest me in my weakness and spareest me in my sins, and hast now granted to me to begin another year, enable me to beaithed me. Enable me, to improve the time which is yet before me, to thy glory and my own salvation. Impress upon my soul such repentance of the days misspent in idleness and folly, that I may henceforward diligently attend to the business of my station in this world, and to all the duties which thou hast commanded. Let thy Holy Spirit comfort and guide me, that in my passage through the pains or pleasures of the present state, I may never be tempted to forgetfulness of thee. Let my life be useful and my death be happy. Let me live according to thy laws and die with just confidence and thy mercy for the sake of

Starting point is 00:30:58 Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. This year I hope to learn diligence. 1759. The 23rd of January the day on which my dear mother was buried, repeated on my fast, with the addition. Almighty God, merciful father, in whose hands are life and death, sanctify unto me the sorrow which I now fill. Forgive me whatever I have done unkindly to my mother, and whatever I have omitted to do kindly. make me to remember how good precepts and good example, and to reform my life according to thy holy word, that I may lose no more opportunities of good. I am sorrowful, O Lord. Let not my sorrow be without fruit. Let it be followed by holy resolutions and lasting amendment, that when I shall die like my mother, I may be received to everlasting life. I commend, O Lord, so far as it may be lawful,

Starting point is 00:32:17 into thy hands the soul of my departed mother, beseeching thee to grant her whatever is most beneficial to her in her present state. O Lord, grant me thy Holy Spirit, and have mercy upon me for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen. And, O Lord, grant unto me that I am now about to return to the common comforts and business of the world. Such moderation in all enjoyments, such diligence in honest labour, and such purity of mind, that, amidst the changes, miseries, or pleasures of life, I may keep my mind fixed upon thee and improve every day in grace till I shall be received into thy kingdom of eternal happiness. thanks for my mother's good example and implored pardon for neglecting it I return

Starting point is 00:33:15 thanks for the alleviation of my sorrow the dream of my brother I shall remember the 24th of March 1759 or rather the 25th of March after 12 at night Almighty God Heavenly Father who has graciously prolonged my life to this time, and by the change of outward things which I am now to make, coolest me to a change of inward affections, and to a reformation of my thoughts, words, and practices. Vouch safe, merciful Lord, that this call may not be vain. Forgive me whatever has been amiss in the state which I am now leaving, idleness and neglect of thy word and worship. grant me the grace of thy Holy Spirit that the course which I am now beginning may proceed

Starting point is 00:34:23 according to thy laws and end in enjoyment of thy favour give me O Lord pardon and peace that I may serve thee with humble confidence and after this life enjoy thy presence in eternal happiness and O Lord so far as it may be lawful for me, I commend to thy fatherly goodness, my father, my brother, my wife, my mother. I beseech thee to look mercifully upon them, and grant them whatever may most promote their present and eternal joy. O Lord, hear my prayers for Jesus Christ's sake, to whom, with thee and the Holy Ghost, three persons and one God, be all honour and glory, world without end. Amen. O Lord, let the change which I am now making and outward things produce in me such a

Starting point is 00:35:26 change of manners as may fit me for the great chain through which my wife has passed. End of Section 4. Section 5 of prayers and meditations by Samuel Johnson. This Librevox recording is in the public domain. 1760. The 1860. The 18th. of September. Resolved at Dale Yovanti to combat notions of obligation, to apply to study, to reclaim imagination, to consult the revolves on Teddy's coffin, to rise early, to study religion, to go to church, to drink less strong liquors, to keep a journal, to oppose laziness by doing what is to be done, tomorrow. Rise as early as I can. Send for books for history of war. Put books in order. Scheme life. O Almighty God, merciful Father, who has continued my life to another year,

Starting point is 00:36:48 grant that I may spend the time which thou shalt yet give me in such obedience to thy word and will. That, finally, I may obtain everlasting life. grant that I may repent and forsake my sins before the miseries of age fall upon me, and that while my strength yet remains, I may use it to thy glory and my own salvation, by the assistance of thy Holy Spirit, for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen. 1761 Easter Eve Since the communion of last Easter,

Starting point is 00:37:31 Last Easter, I have led a life so dissipated and useless, and my terrors and perplexities have so much increased, that I am under great depression and discouragement. Yet I purpose to present myself before God tomorrow, with humble hope that he will not break the bruised reed. Come unto me, all ye that travail. I have resolved, and I hope not presumptuously, till I am afraid to resolve again. Yet hoping in God I steadfastly purpose to lead a new life. O God enable me for Jesus Christ's sake. My purpose is to avoid idleness, to regulate my sleep as to length and choice of hours,

Starting point is 00:38:23 to set down every day what shall be done the day following, to keep a journal, to worship God more diligently, to go to church every Sunday, to study the scriptures, to read a certain portion every week. Easter Eve. Almighty and most merciful father, look down upon my misery with pity. Strengthen me that I may overcome all sinful habits. Grant that I may, with effectual faith, commemorate the death of thy son Jesus Christ,

Starting point is 00:39:04 so that all corrupt desires may be extinguished and all vain thoughts may be dispelled. Enlighten me with true knowledge. Animate me with reasonable hope. Comfort me with the just sense of thy love. And assist me to the performance of all holy purposes that after the sins, errors and miseries of this world, I may obtain everlasting happiness for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen. I hope to attend on God in his ordinances tomorrow.

Starting point is 00:39:43 Trust in God, all my soul. Oh God, let me trust in thee. 1762. The 28th of March. God grant that I may, from this day, return to my studies, labour diligently, rise early, live temporately. Read the Bible. Go to church. O God, giver and preserver of all life, by whose power I was created and by whose providence I am sustained, look down upon me with tenderness and mercy,

Starting point is 00:40:30 grant that I may not have been created to be finally destroyed, that I may not be preserved to add wickedness to wickedness, but may so repent me of my sins, and so order my life to come, that when I shall be called hence, like the wife whom thou has taken from me, I may die in peace and in thy favour, and be received into thine everlasting kingdom, through the merits and mediation of Jesus Christ, thine only son, our Lord and Savior. Amen. End of Section 5.

Starting point is 00:41:17 Meditations by Samuel Johnson. This Librovoc's recording is in the public domain. 1764. Almighty and most merciful Father, who by thy Son Jesus Christ, has redeemed us from sin and death, grant that the commemoration of his passion may quicken my repentance, increase my hope, and strengthen my faith. That I may lament and forsake my sin. and for the time which thou shalt yet grant me may avoid idleness and neglect of thy word and worship. Grant me strength to be diligent in the lawful employment which shall be set before me. Grant me purity of thoughts, words and actions. Grant me to love and to study thy word, and to frequent thy worship with pure affection.

Starting point is 00:42:19 deliver and preserve me from vain terrors and grant that by the grace of thy holy spirit i may so live that after this life ended i may be received to everlasting happiness for the sake of jesus christ our lord amen good friday the twentieth of april seventeen sixty four i have made no reformation I have lived totally useless, more sensual in thought and more addicted to wine and meat. Grant me, O God, to amend my life for the sake of Jesus Christ. Amen. I hope to put my rooms in order. Disorder I have found one great cause of idleness. I fasted all day.

Starting point is 00:43:30 The 21st of April. seventeen sixty four three in the morning my indolence since my last reception of the sacrament has sunk into grosser sluggishness and my dissipation spread into wilder negligence my thoughts have been clouded with sensuality and except that from the beginning of this year i have in some measure forborne excess of strong drink my appetites have been clouded with sensuality and except that from the beginning of this year i have in some measure forborne excess of strong drink my appetites have been predominated over my reason. A kind of strange oblivion has overspread me, so that I know not what has become of the last year, and perceive that incidents and intelligence pass over me without leaving any impression. This is not the life to which heaven is promised. I purpose to approach the altar again tomorrow. Grant, O Lord, that I may receive the sacrament, with such resolutions of a better life, as may by thy grace be effectual for the sake of Jesus Christ.

Starting point is 00:44:40 Amen. The 21st of April. I read the whole Gospel of St. John, then sat up till the 22nd. My purpose is from this time to reject or expel sensual images and idle thoughts, to provide some useful amusement for leisure time, to avoid idleness, to rise early, to study a proper portion of every day,

Starting point is 00:45:15 to worship God diligently, to read the scriptures, to let no week pass without reading some part, to write down my observations. I will renew my resolutions made at Teddy's death, I perceive an insensibility and heaviness upon me. I am less than commonly oppressed with the sense of sin and less affected with the shame of idleness.

Starting point is 00:45:46 Yet I will not despair. I will pray to God for resolution and will endeavour to strengthen my faith in Christ by commemorating its death. I prayed for Tet. Easter Day the 22nd of April 1764

Starting point is 00:46:06 Having, before I went to bed, compose the foregoing meditation and the following prayer, I tried to compose myself, but I slept unquietly. I rose, took tea, and prayed for resolution and perseverance. Thought on Tetti,

Starting point is 00:46:29 dear poor Tetti, with my eyes full of tears. I went to church, church, came in at the first of the Psalms, and endeavoured to attend the service, which I went through without perturbation. After sermon, I recommend Tetti in a prayer by herself, and my father, mother, brother, and bethirst in another. I did it only once, so far as it might be lawful for me. I then prayed for resolution and perseverance to amend my life. I received soon, the communicants were many. At the altar, it occurred to me that I ought to form some resolutions. I resolved

Starting point is 00:47:19 in the presence of God, but without a vow, to repel sinful thoughts, to study eight hours daily, and, I think, to go to church every Sunday and read the scriptures. I gave a shilling, and seeing a poor girl at the sacrament and a bed gown, gave her privately a crown, though I saw hearts hymns in her hand. I prayed earnestly for amendment and repeated my prayer at home, dined with Miss W., went to prayers at church, spent the evening not pleasantly avoided wine and tempered a very few glasses with sherbet came home and prayed i saw at the sacrament a man meanly dressed whom i have always seen there at easter day against loose thoughts and idleness

Starting point is 00:48:23 The 22nd of April 1764 at 3 morning Almighty and most merciful Father who hast created and preserved me Have pity on my weakness and corruption Deliver me from habitual wickedness and idleness Enable me to purify my thoughts To use the faculties which thou hast given me with honest diligence

Starting point is 00:48:51 and to regulate my life by thy holy word. Grant me, O Lord, good purposes and steady resolution, that I may repent my sins and amend my life. Deliver me from the distresses of vain terror and enable me, by thy grace, to will and to do what may please thee, that when I shall be called away from this present state, I may obtain everlasting happiness through Jesus.

Starting point is 00:49:21 Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. The 18th of September, 1764, about six evening. This is my 56th birthday, the day on which I have concluded 55 years. I have outlived many friends. I have felt many sorrows. I have made few improvements. Since my resolution formed last Easter, I have made no advancement in knowledge or in goodness, nor do I recollect that I have endeavoured it. I am dejected, but not hopeless. O God, for Jesus Christ's sake, have mercy upon me. Seven in the evening. I went to church, prayed to be loosed from the chain of my sins. I have now spent 55 years in resolving. Having, from the earliest time almost that I can remember, been forming schemes of a better life.

Starting point is 00:50:33 I have done nothing. The need of doing, therefore, is pressing, since the time of doing is short. O God, grant me to resolve a right, and to keep my resolutions for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen. I resolve to study the scriptures, I hope in the original languages. 640 verses every Sunday will nearly comprise the scriptures in a year, to read good books, to study theology, to treasure in my mind passages for recollection, to rise early, not later than six, if I can, I hope sooner, but as soon as I can, to keep a journal, both of employment and of expenses, to keep a count, to take care of my health by such means as I have designed

Starting point is 00:51:31 to set down at night some plan for the morrow. Last year I prayed on my birthday by accommodating the morning collect for grace, putting year for day. This I did this day. The 18th of September, 1764. O God, Heavenly Father, who desirest not the death of a sinner, grant that I may turn for my wickedness and live.

Starting point is 00:52:08 Enable me to shake off all impediments of lawful action, and so to order my life, that increase of days may produce increase of grace, of tranquility of thought, and vigour in duty. Grant that my resolves may be effectual to a holy life and a happy death, for Jesus Christ, sake. Amen. Tomorrow I purpose to regulate my room. End of Section 6. Section 7 of prayers and meditations by Samuel Johnson. This Librevox recording is in the public domain. 1765. Easter Day the 7th of April, about 3 in the morning. I purpose again to partake of the Blessed Sacrament, yet when I consider how vainly I have hitherto resolved at this annual commemoration of my Saviour's death to regulate my life by his laws, I am almost afraid to renew my resolutions.

Starting point is 00:53:30 Since the last Easter I have reformed no evil habit. My time has been unprofitably spent, and seems as a dream that has left nothing behind. My memory grows confused, and I know not how the days pass over me. Good Lord, deliver me. I will call upon God tomorrow for repentance and amendment. O Heavenly Father, let not my call be vain, but grant me to desire what may please thee and fulfil those desires for Jesus Christ's sake.

Starting point is 00:54:09 Amen. My resolutions, which God perfect, are to avoid loose thoughts, to rise at eight every morning. I hope to extend these purposes to other duties, but it is necessary to combat evil habits singly. I purpose to rise at eight because, though I shall not yet rise early, it will be much earlier than I now rise, for I often lie till too, and will gain me much time,

Starting point is 00:54:44 and tend to a conquest over idleness and give time for other duties. I hope to rise yet earlier. Almighty and most merciful father, who hatest nothing that thou hast made, nor desirest the death of a sinner, look down with mercy upon me, and grant that I may turn from my wickedness and live. Forgive the days and years which I have passed in folly, idleness and sin.

Starting point is 00:55:15 Fill me with such sorrow for the time misspent, that I may amend my life according to thy holy word, strengthen me against habitual idleness, and enable me to direct my thoughts to the performance of every duty, that while I live I may serve thee in the state to which thou shalt call me, and at last by our holy and happy death be delivered from the struggles and sorrows of this life, and obtain eternal happiness by thy mercy. for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. O God, have mercy on me. At church I purpose, before I leave the pew

Starting point is 00:56:03 to pray the occasional prayer and read my resolutions, to pray for Teti and the rest, the like after communion, at intervals to use the collects of the fourth after Trinity and first and forth after epiphany, and to meditate. This was done, as I purposed, but with some distraction. I came in at the sounds and could not hear well. I renewed my resolutions at the altar.

Starting point is 00:56:37 God perfect them. Then I came home. I prayed and have hope. Grant, O Lord, for the sake of Jesus Christ, that my hope may not be vain. I invited home with me the man whose pious behaviour I had for several years observed on this day and found him a kind of Methodist, full of texts, but ill-instructed. I talked to him with temper, and offered him twice wine, which he refused.

Starting point is 00:57:10 I suffered him to go without the dinner which I had purpose to give him. I thought this day that there was something irregular and particular in his look and gesture, but having intended to invite him to acquaintance and having a fit opportunity by finding him near my own seat, I did what I at first designed, and am sorry to have been so much disappointed. Let me not be prejudiced hereafter against the appearance of piety in mean persons, who, with indeterminate notions, and perverse or in elegant conversation, perhaps are doing all they can. At night I used the occasional prayer

Starting point is 00:57:55 with proper collects. The 26th of September, 1765 Before the study of law, Almighty God, the giver of wisdom, without whose help resolutions are vain, without whose blessing study is ineffective.

Starting point is 00:58:19 Enable me, if it be thy will, to attain such knowledge as may qualify me to direct the doubtful and instruct the ignorant, to prevent wrongs and terminate contentions, and grant that I may use that knowledge which I shall attain to thy glory and my own salvation, for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen November 1765

Starting point is 00:58:51 Engaging in Politics Almighty God, who art the giver of all wisdom, enlighten my understanding with knowledge of right, and govern my will by thy laws, that no deceit may mislead me, nor temptation corrupt me, that I may always endeavour to do good and to hinder evil. Amidst all the hopes and fears of this world, take not thy Holy Spirit from me,

Starting point is 00:59:22 but grant that my thoughts may be fixed on thee, and that I may finally obtain everlasting happiness for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen. End of Section 7. Section 8 of prayers and meditations by Samuel Johnson. This Librevox recording is in the public domain. 1766, the 1st of January, after 2 in the morning. Almighty and most merciful Father, I again appear in thy presence the wretched misspender of another year, which thy mercy has allowed me.

Starting point is 01:00:17 O Lord, let me not sink into total depravity, look down upon me, and rescue me at last from the captivity of sin. In part to me good resolutions, and give me strength and perseverance to perform them, Take not from me thy Holy Spirit, but grant that I may redeem the time lost, and that by temperance and diligence, by sincere repentance and faithful obedience, I may finally obtain everlasting happiness for the sake of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen. The 7th of March

Starting point is 01:01:00 Study Almighty and most merciful Father, who hast graciously supplied me with new conveniences for study, grants that I may use thy gifts to thy glory, forgive me the time misspent, relieve my perplexities, strengthen my resolution, and enable me to do my duty with vigour and constancy.

Starting point is 01:01:27 And when the fears and hopes, the pains and pleasures of this life shall have an end, Receive me to everlasting happiness for the sake of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen. Transcribed the 26th of June 1768. The 18th of September 1766 at Stratham. I have this day completed my 57th year. O Lord, for Jesus Christ's sake, have mercy upon me.

Starting point is 01:02:08 Almighty and most merciful Father, who has granted me to prolong my life to another year, look down upon me with pity. Let not my manifold sins and negligences avert from me thy fatherly regard. Enlighten my mind that I may know my duty, that I may perform it, strengthen my resolution. Let not another year be lost in vain deliberations. Let me remember that of the shorter life of man a great part is already passed in sinfulness and sloth. Deliver me, gracious Lord, from the bondage of evil customs, and take not from me thy Holy Spirit, but enable me so to spend my remaining days that, by performing thy will, I may promote thy glory, and grant that after the troubles and disappointments of this mortal state

Starting point is 01:03:09 I may obtain everlasting happiness for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. Purposes. To keep a journal, to begin this day. To spend four hours every day and study and as much more as I can. To read a portion of the scriptures in Greek every Sunday. to rise at 8. The 3rd of October, 1766. Of all this I have done nothing.

Starting point is 01:03:47 I returned from Streatham 1st of August, 1766, having lived there more than three months. 1767 1st of January. Almighty and most merciful father, in whose hands are life and death, as thou hast suffered me to see

Starting point is 01:04:12 the beginning of another year, grant, I beseech thee, that another year may not be lost in idleness or squandered in unprofitable employment. Let not sin prevail on the remaining part of life, and take not from me thy holy spirit, but as every day brings me nearer to my end, let every day contribute to make my end holy and happy. Enable me, O Lord, to use all enjoyment with due temperance, preserve me from unreasonable and immoderate sleep, and enable me to run with diligence the race that is set before me, that, after the troubles of this life, I may obtain everlasting happiness through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen. The 2nd of August 1767. I have been disturbed and unsettled for a long time, and have been without resolution to apply to study or to business,

Starting point is 01:05:20 being hindered by sudden snatches. I have for some days forborne wine and suppers. Abstinence is not easily practised in another's house, but I think it fit to try. I was extremely perturbed in the night, but have had this day more ease than I expected. Perhaps this may be such a sudden relief as I once had by a good night's rest in Fetalain. The shortness of the time which the common order of nature allows me to expect is very frequently upon my mind. God grants that it may profit me. The 17th of August, 1767. From that time, by abstinence, I have had more ease. I have read five books of Homer and hope to end the sixth tonight. I have given Mrs. a guinea.

Starting point is 01:06:24 By abstinence from wine and suppers, I obtained a sudden and great relief and had freedom of mind restored to me, which I have wanted for all this year, without being able to find any means of obtaining it. I am now about to receive, with my old friend Kitty Chambers, the sacrament, preparatory to her death, grant, O God, that it may fit me. I purpose temperance for my resolution. O God, enable me to keep my purpose to thy glory. 5.32 p.m. I have communicated with Kitty and kissed her.

Starting point is 01:07:11 I was for some time distracted, but at last composed. I commended my friends in Kitty, Lucy and I were much affected. Kitty is, I think, going to heaven. The 17th of August, 1767. O God, grant that I may practice such temperance in meat, drink and sleep, and all bodily enjoyments, as may fit me for the duties to which thou shalt call me. And by thy blessing procure me freedom of thought and quietness of mind, that I may so serve thee in this short and frail life, that I may be received by thee at my death to everlasting happiness. Take not, O Lord, thy Holy Spirit from me.

Starting point is 01:08:08 Deliver me not up to vain fears, but have mercy on me, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. Sunday, the 18th of October, 1767. Yesterday, the 17th of October, at about 10 in the morning, I took my leave forever of my dear friend Catherine Chambers, who came to live with my mother about 1724, and has been but little parted from us since. She buried my father, my brother, and my mother. She is now 58 years old. I desired all to withdraw, then told her that we were to part forever, that as Christians we should part with prayer, and that I would, if she was willing, say a short prayer beside her.

Starting point is 01:09:11 She expressed great desire to hear me, and held up her poor hands as she lay in bed, with great fervour, while I prayed kneeling by her, nearly in the following words. and most merciful father, whose loving kindness is over all thy works, behold, visit, and relieve this thy servant, who is grieved with sickness. Grant that the sense of her weakness may at strength to her faith and seriousness to her repentance, and grant that by the help of thy Holy Spirit, after the pains and labours of this short life, we may all obtain everlasting happiness through Jesus Christ our Lord, for whose sake hear our prayers. Amen. I then kissed her. She told me that to part with the greatest pain she had ever felt, and that she hoped we should meet again in a better place. I expressed with swelled eyes and great emotion of tenderness

Starting point is 01:10:29 the same hopes. We kissed and parted. I humbly hope to meet again and to part no more. End of Section 8. Section 9 of prayers and meditations by Samuel Johnson. This Librevox recordings in the public domain. 1868. Bedtime. Almighty God, who seest that I have no power of myself to help myself. Keep me both outwardly in my body and inwardly in my soul, that I may be defended from all adversities that may happen to the body, and from all evil thoughts which may assault and hurt the soul. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. This prayer may be said before or after the entrance into bed as a preparative for sleep. Study of tongues, Almighty God,

Starting point is 01:11:51 giver of all knowledge, enable me so to pursue the study of tongues that I may promote thy glory and my own salvation. Bless my endeavours, I shall seem best unto thee, and if it shall please thee to grant me the attainment of my purpose, preserve me from sinful pride. Take not thy Holy Spirit from me, but give me a pure heart and humble mind through Jesus Christ. Amen. Of this prayer there is no date, more can I tell when it was written. But I think it was in Goff Square after the dictionary was ended. I did not study what I then intended. Town Malling in Kent, the 18th of September 1768, at night. I have now begun the 60th year of my life. How the last year has passed, I am unwilling to terrify myself with thinking.

Starting point is 01:13:04 This day has been passed in great perturbation. I was distracted at church in an uncommon degree, and my distress has had very little intermission. I have found myself somewhat relieved by reading, which I therefore intend to practice when I am able. This day it came into my mind to write the history of my melancholy. On this I purpose to deliberate. I know not whether it may too much disturb me. I this day read a great part of Pascal's life.

Starting point is 01:13:42 Almighty and most merciful Father Creator and Preserver of mankind Look down with pity upon my troubles and maladies Hill my body Strengthen my mind Compose my distraction Calm my inquietude And relieve my terrors

Starting point is 01:14:05 That if it please thee I may run the race That is set before me with peace Patience, Constancy and confidence. Grant this, O Lord, and take not from me thy Holy Spirit, but pardon and bless me for the sake of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen. 1769, the 1st of January. I am now to begin another year. How the last has passed, it would be in my state of weakness, perhaps not prudence, to recollect. God will, I hope, turn my sufferings to my benefit.

Starting point is 01:14:57 Forgive me whatever I have done amiss, and having vouchsafed me great relief, will by degrees hill and restore both my mind and body, and permit me, when the last year of my life shall come, to leave the world in holiness and tranquility. I am not yet in a state to form many resolutions. I purpose and hope to rise early in the morning at eight, and by degrees at six, eight being the latest hour to which bedtime could be properly extended,

Starting point is 01:15:34 and six the earliest that the present system of life requires. Almighty and most merciful Father, who has continued my life from year to year, grant that by longer life I may become less desirous of sinful pleasures. and more careful of eternal happiness. As age comes upon me, let my mind be more withdrawn from vanity and folly, more enlightened by the knowledge of thy will,

Starting point is 01:16:05 and more invigorated with resolution to obey it. O Lord, calm my thoughts, direct my desires, and fortify my purposes. If it shall please thee, give quiet to my latter days, and so support me with thy grace that I may die in thy favour for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. The 18th of September, 1769.

Starting point is 01:16:41 This day completes the 60th year of my age. What I have done and what I have left undone, the unsettled state of my mind makes all endeavours to think improper. I hope to survey my life with more tranquillity. in some part of the time with God shall grant me. The last year has been wholly spent in a slow progress of recovery. My days are easier, but the perturbation of my nights is very distressful. I think to try a lower diet.

Starting point is 01:17:16 I have grown fat too fast. My lungs fill encumbered, and my breath fails me if my strength is in any unusual degree exerted, or my motion accelerated. I seem to myself to bear exercise with more difficulty than in the last winter. But though I feel all those decays of body, I have made no preparation for the grave. What shall I do to be saved?

Starting point is 01:17:49 Almighty and most merciful Father, I now appear in thy presence, laden with the sins and accountable for the mercies of another year. glory be to thee, O God, for the mitigation of my troubles, and for the hope of health both of mind and body which thou hast felt safe to me. Most merciful Lord, if it seem good unto thee, compose my mind and relieve my diseases. Enable me to perform the duties of my station, and so to serve thee as that, when my hour of departure from this painful life shall be delayed no longer.

Starting point is 01:18:32 I may be received to everlasting happiness for the sake of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen. O Lord, without whose help all the purposes of man are vain. Enable me to use such temperance as may heal my body and strengthen my mind and enable me to serve thee. Grant this, O Lord, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Saviour. Amen.

Starting point is 01:19:06 The 19th of September, 1769. Yesterday, having risen from a disturbed and wearisome night, I was not much at rest the whole day. I prayed with the collect, to the beginning, in the night and in the morning. At night I composed my prayer and wrote my reflection. Reviewing them, I found them both weakly conceived and imperfectly expressed, and corrected the prayer this morning. I am glad that I have not omitted my annual practice.

Starting point is 01:19:47 I hope that by rigid temperance and moderate exercise I may yet recover. I use the prayer again at night, and am now to begin, by the permission of God, my 61st year, the 5th of November 1769 Almighty God Merciful Father Whose providence is over all thy works Look down with pity

Starting point is 01:20:20 Upon the diseases of my body And the perturbations of my mind Give thy blessing O Lord To the means which I shall use For my relief And restore ease to my body And quiet to my thoughts

Starting point is 01:20:36 let not my remaining life be made useless by infirmities, neither let health, if thou shalt grant it, be employed by me in disobedience to thy laws. But give me such a sense of my pains as may humble me before thee, and such remembrance of thy mercy as may produce honest industry and holy confidence. And, O Lord,

Starting point is 01:21:06 Whether thou ordainest my days to be passed in ease or anguish, take not from me thy Holy Spirit, but grant that I may attain everlasting life for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. This prayer I found the 11th of January 1772 and believe it written when I began to live on milk. I grew worse with forbearance of solid food.

Starting point is 01:21:38 food. End of Section 9. Section 10, with prayers and meditations by Samuel Johnson. This Librevox recordings in the public domain, 1770, the 1st of January. Almighty God, by whose mercy I am permitted to behold the beginning of another year, succor with thy help, and bless with thy favor, the creature whom thou vouchsafest to preserve. Mitigate, if it shall seem best unto thee, the diseases of my body, and compose the disorders of my mind, dispel my terrors, and grant that the time which thou shalt yet allow me may not pass unprofitably away. Let not pleasure seduce me, idleness low me, or misery depress me. me perform to thy glory and the good of my fellow creatures, the work which thou shalt yet appoint me,

Starting point is 01:22:51 and grant that as I draw nearer to my dissolution, I may, by the help of thy Holy Spirit, fill my knowledge of thee increased, my hope exalted, and my faith strengthened. That when the hour which is coming shall come, I may pass by a holy death to everlasting happiness, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. Wednesday. The 28th of March, 1770. This is the day on which, in 1752, I was deprived of poor dear Tetti.

Starting point is 01:23:36 Having left off the practice of thinking on her with some particular combinations, I have recalled her to my mind of late less frequently. But when I recollect the time in which we live, live together, my grief for her departure is not abated. And I have less pleasure in any good that befalls me, because she does not partake it. On many occasions, I think what she would have said or done. When I saw the sea at Bright Helmstone, I wished for her to have seen it with me. But with respect to her, no rational wish is now left, but that we may meet at least. last where the mercy of God shall make us happy, and perhaps make us instrumental to the happiness of each other.

Starting point is 01:24:26 It is now 18 years. The 14th of April, 1770. This week is Passion Week. I have for some weeks past been much afflicted with the lumbago or rheumatism in the loins, which often passes to the muscles of the belly, where it causes equal, if not greater pain. In the day the sunshine mitigates it, and in cold or cloudy weather, such as has for some time past remarkably prevailed, the heat of a strong fire suspends it. In the night it is so troublesome as not very easily to be born. I lie wrapped in a flannel, with a great fire near my bed, but whether it be that a recumbent posture increases the pain, or that expansion by moderate warmth excites what a great heat dissipates. I can seldom remain in bed two hours at a time without the necessity of rising to heat the parts

Starting point is 01:25:30 affected at the fire. One night, between the pain and the spasms in my stomach, I was insupportably distressed. On the next night, I think, I laid a blister to my back and took over the My night was tolerable, and, from that time, the spasms in my stomach, which disturbed me for many years, and for two past harassed me almost to distraction, have nearly ceased. I suppose the breast is relaxed by the opium. Having passed Thursday in Passion Week at Mr. Thrales, I came home on Friday morning, but I might pass the day unobserved. I had nothing but water, once in the morning and once at bedtime. I refused tea after some deliberation in the afternoon. They did not press it.

Starting point is 01:26:25 I came home late and was unwilling to carry my rheumatism to the cold church in the morning, unless that were rather an excuse made to myself. In the afternoon I went to church, but came late, I think of the creed. I read Clark's sermon on the death of Christ and the second epistle in Timothy in Greek, but rather hastily. I then went to thrills and had a very tedious and painful night,

Starting point is 01:26:52 but the spasms in my throat are gone, and if either the pain or the opiate which the pain enforced has stopped them, the relief is very cheaply purchased. The pain harasses me much, yet many have the disease perhaps in much higher degree, with want of food, fire and covering, which I find thus grievous, with all the suckers that riches and kindness can buy and give.

Starting point is 01:27:18 On Saturday I was not hungry, and did not eat much breakfast. There was a dinner and company, at which I was persuaded or tempted to stay. At night I came home, sat up, and composed the prayer, and having ordered the maid to make the fire in my chamber, at eight went to rest. and had a tolerable night. Easter Day the 15th of April, 1770, in the morning. Almighty and everlasting God, who has preserved me by thy fatherly care

Starting point is 01:27:56 through all the years of my past life, and now permit us me again to commemorate the sufferings and merits of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Grant me so to partake of this holy right that the disquiet of my mind may be appeased, that my faith may be increased, my hope strengthened, and my life regulated by thy will. Make me truly thankful for that portion of health which thy mercy has restored, and enable me to use the remains of my life to thy glory and my own salvation.

Starting point is 01:28:32 Take not from me, O Lord, thy Holy Spirit. Extinguish in my mind all sinful and inordinate desires. Let me resolve to do that which is right, and let me, by thy help, keep my resolutions. Let me, if it be best for me, at last no peace and comfort. But whatever state of life thou shalt appoint me, let me end it by a happy death, and enjoy eternal happiness in thy presence, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. Easter Day.

Starting point is 01:29:10 one in the afternoon. I am just returned from the communion, having been very little interrupted in my duty by bodily pain. I was very early at church, and used this prayer, I think, before service, with proper collects. I was composed during the service. I went to the table to hear the prefatory part of the office, then returned to my pew and tried to settle some resolution.

Starting point is 01:29:40 I resolve to form this day some plan for reading the scriptures, to rise by eight or earlier, to form a plan for the regulation of my daily life, to excite in myself such a fervent desire of pleasing God, I should suppress all other passions. I pray through all the collective meditation, with some extemporary prayers, recommended my friends, living and dead. living and dead. When I returned to the table, I stayed till most had communicated, and in the meantime tried to settle my mind, prayed against bad and troublesome thoughts,

Starting point is 01:30:25 resolved to oppose sudden incursions of them, and, I think, had thrown into my mind a general confession. When I went first to the table, the particular series of my thoughts I cannot recollect, when i came home i returned thanks by accommodating the general thanksgiving and use this prayer again with the collects after receiving i hope god has heard me shall i ever receive the sacrament with tranquillity surely the time will come some vain thoughts stole upon me while i stood near the table i hope i ejected them effectually so as not to be hurt by them i went to prayers at seven i went to prayers at seven having fasted. Read the two morning lessons in Greek.

Starting point is 01:31:18 At night I read Clark's sermon of the humiliation of our saviour, the first Sunday after Easter. I have been recovering from my rheumatism slowly, yet sensibly, but the last week has produced little good. Uneasy nights have tempted me to lie long in the morning, but when I wake in the night, the release which still continues from the spanish, in my throat gives me great comfort. The plan which I formed for reading the scriptures

Starting point is 01:31:53 was to read 600 verses in the Old Testament and 200 in the New every week. The Old Testament in any language, the new in Greek. This day I began to read the Septuagint but only read 230 verses, the nine first chapters of Genesis. On this evening I repeated the prayer for for Easter Day, changing the future tense to the past. The 1st of June, 1770. Every man naturally persuades himself that he can keep his resolutions, nor is ye convinced of his imbecility, but by length of time and frequency of experiments.

Starting point is 01:32:40 This opinion of our own constancy is so prevalent that we always despise him who suffers his general and settled purpose to be overpowered by an occasional desire. They, therefore, whom frequent failures have made desperate, cease to form resolutions, and they who are become cunning, do not tell them. Those who do not make them are very few, but of their effect little is perceived, for scarcely any man persists in a course of life planned by choice, but as he is restrained from deviation by some external power,

Starting point is 01:33:18 He who may live as he will, seldom lives long in the observation of his own rules. I never yet saw a regular family, unless it were that of Mrs. Harriott's, more a regular man, except Mr. whose exactness I know only by his own report, and Samonazar, whose life was, I think, uniform. End of Section 10. Section 11 of prayers and meditations by Samuel Johnson This Librevox recording is in the public domain 1771 Easter Day

Starting point is 01:34:07 March the 31st Almighty and Most Merciful Father I am now about to commemorate once more in thy presence the redemption of the world by our Lord and Saviour Thy Son Jesus Christ Grant O merciful God that the benefit of his sufferings may be extended to me, grant me faith, grant me repentance,

Starting point is 01:34:34 illuminate me with thy Holy Spirit, enable me to form good purposes, and to bring these purposes to good effect. Let me so dispose my time that I may discharge the duties to which thou shalt felt safe to call me, and let that degree of health to which thy mercy has restored me, employed to thy glory. O God, invigorate my understanding, compose my perturbations, recall my wanderings and calm my thoughts. That having lived while thou shalt grant me life to do good and to praise thee, I may, when thou shall summon me to another state, receive mercy from thee, for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen. The 18th of September, 1717, I am now come to my 63rd year. For the last year I have been slowly recovering both from the violence of my last illness and I think from the general disease of my life. My breath is less obstructed and I am more capable of motion and exercise. My mind is less encumbered and I am less interrupted in mental employment. Some advances I hope have been made towards regularity.

Starting point is 01:36:01 I have missed church since Easter only two Sundays, both which I hope I have endeavoured to supply by attendant on divine worship in the following week. Since Easter, my evening devotions have been lengthened, but indolence and indifference has been neither conquered nor opposed. No plan of study has been pursued or formed, except that I have commonly read every week, if not on Sunday, a stated portion of the New Testament in Greek. But what is most to be considered, I have neither attempted nor formed any scheme of life

Starting point is 01:36:36 by which I may do good and please God. One great hindrance is want of rest. My nocturnal complaints grow less troublesome towards morning, and I am tempted to repair the deficiencies of the night. I think, however, to try to rise every day by eight, and to combat indolence as I shall obtain strength. Perhaps Providence has yet some use for the remnant of my life. Almighty and everlasting God, whose mercy is over all thy works, and who hast no pleasure in the death of a sinner, look with pity upon me, succour and preserve me, enable me to conquer evil habits and surmount

Starting point is 01:37:22 temptations. Give me grace so to use the degree of health which thou hast restored to my mind and body, that I may perform the task thou shalt yet appoint me. Look down, O gracious Lord, upon my remaining part of life. Grant, if it please thee, that the days few or many which thou shall yet allow me may pass in reasonable confidence and holy tranquility. Withhold not thy Holy Spirit from me, but strengthen all good purposes till they shall produce a life pleasing to thee. And when thou shalt call me to another state, forgive me my sins, and receive me to happiness for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. The 23rd of September, 1771. On the 18th in the morning, before I went to bed, I used the general prayer when I rose. I came home

Starting point is 01:38:26 from Mr. Thrills that I might be more master of my hours. I went to church in the morning that came into the litany. I have gone voluntarily to church on the weekday but few times in my life. I think to mend. At night I composed and used the prayer, which I have used since in my devotions one morning. Having been somewhat disturbed, I have not yet settled in any plan, except that yesterday I began to learn some verses in the Greek Testament for a Sunday's recital. I hope by trust in God to amend my life.

Starting point is 01:39:06 1772. The 1st of January. 2 in the morning. Almighty God, who hast permitted me to see the beginning of another year, enable me so to receive thy mercy, as that it may raise in me stronger desires of pleasing thee by purity of mind and holiness of life. Strengthen me, O Lord, in God.

Starting point is 01:39:32 purposes and reasonable meditations. Look with pity upon all my disorders of mind and infirmities of body. Grant that the residue of my life may enjoy such degrees of health as may permit me to be useful, and that I may live to thy glory. And, O merciful Lord, when it shall please thee to call me from the present state, enable me to die in confidence of thy mercy, and receive me to everlasting happiness for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. Easter Eve, the 18th of April 1772. I am now again preparing by divine mercy to commemorate the death of my gracious Redeemer and to form, as God shall enable me, resolutions and purposes of a better life. When I review the last year

Starting point is 01:40:33 I am able to recollect so little done That shame and sorrow Though perhaps too weakly come upon me Yet I have been generally free from local pain And my strength has seemed gradually to increase But my sleep has generally been unquiet And I have not been able to rise early My mind is unsettled and my memory confused

Starting point is 01:40:56 I have of late turned my thoughts with a very useless earnestness upon past incidents. I have yet got no command over my thoughts. An unpleasing incident is almost certain to hinder my rest. This is the remainder of my last illness. By sleepless or unquiet nights and short days, made short by late rising, the time passes away uncounted and unheeded.

Starting point is 01:41:25 Life so spent is useless. I hope to cast my time into some stated method, to let no hour pass unemployed, to rise by degrees more early in the morning, to keep a journal. I have, I think, been less guilty of neglecting public worship than formerly. I have commonly on Sunday gone once to church, and if I have missed, have reproached myself. I have exerted rather more activity of body, these dispositions. I desire to improve. I resolved last Easter to read within the year the whole Bible, a very great part of which I have never looked upon. I read the Greek Testament without construing, and this day concluded the apocalypse. I think that no part was missed. My purpose of reading the rest

Starting point is 01:42:19 of the Bible was forgotten, till I took by chance the resolutions of last Easter in my hand. I began it the first day of Lent and, for a time, read with some regularity. I was then disturbed or seduced, but finished the Old Testament last Thursday. I hoped to read the whole Bible once a year, as long as I live. Yesterday I fasted, as I have always, or commonly done, since the death of Teti. The fast was more painful than it has formerly been, which I imputed to some medical evacuation, in the beginning of the week, until a mill of cakes on the foregoing day, I cannot now fast as formally. I devoted this week to the perusal of the Bible, and have done little but secular business. I am this night easier than is customary on this anniversary, but am not sensibly enlightened.

Starting point is 01:43:20 Easter Day, after 12 and night. The day has now begun, on which I hope to begin a new course. My hopes are from this time, to rise early, to waste less time, to appropriate something to charity. Easter Almighty God, a merciful Father, who hatest nothing that thou hast made, look down with pity upon my sinfulness and weakness. Strengthen, O Lord, my mind. Deliver me from needless terrors. enable me to correct all inordinate desires, to reject all evil thoughts, to reform sinful habits,

Starting point is 01:44:05 and so to amend my life, that when at the end of my days thou shalt call me hence, I may depart in peace, and be received into everlasting happiness, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 9 in the morning Glory be to thee, O Lord God, for the deliverance which thou hast granted me from diseases of mind and body. Grant, O gracious God, that I may employ the powers which thou vouch safest me to thy glory and the salvation of my soul for the sake of Jesus Christ. Amen. The 26th of April 1772. I was some way hindered from continuing this contemplation in the usual manner

Starting point is 01:44:55 and therefore try at the distance of a week to review the last Sunday. I went to church early, early, having first, I think, used my prayer. When I was there, I had little perturbation of mind. During the usual time of meditation, I considered the Christian duties under the three principles of soberness, righteousness and godliness, and purpose to forward godliness by the annual perusal of the Bible, righteousness by setting something for charity, and soberness by early hours. I commended as usual, with the preface of permission, and, I think, mentioned bethirst. I came home and found Paoli and Boswell waiting for me. What devotions I used after my return home I do not distinctly remember.

Starting point is 01:45:50 I went to prayers in the evening, and, I think, entered late. I have this week endeavoured every day but one to rise early, and have tried to be diligent. but have not performed what I required for myself. On Good Friday I paid Payton without requiring work. Since Easter 1771, I have added a collect to my evening devotion. I have been less indulgent to corporeal inactivity, but I have done little with my mind. It is a comfort to me that at last in my 63rd year

Starting point is 01:46:28 I have attained to know, even thus hastily, confusedly and imperfectly, what my Bible contains. May the good God increase and sanctify my knowledge. I have never yet read the apocrypha. When I was a boy, I have read or heard Bell and the Dragon, Susanna, some of Tobit, perhaps all, some at least of Judith, and some of Ecclesiasticus. and I suppose the Benedict. I have some time looked into the Maccabees and read a chapter containing the question

Starting point is 01:47:06 which is the strongest, I think in Esdras. In the afternoon of Easter Day I read Pocke's commentary. I have this last week scarcely tried to read nor have I read anything this day. I have had my mind weak and disturbed for some weeks past. Having Miss Church in the morning I went this evening and afterwards sat with Southwell. Having not used the prayer except on the day of communion, I will offer it this

Starting point is 01:47:41 night and hope to find mercy. On this day little has been done and this is now the last hour. In life little has been done and life is very far advanced. Lord have mercy upon me. End of Section 11. Section 12 of prayers and meditations by Samuel Johnson. This Librevox recording is in the public domain. 1773. The 1st of January. Almighty God, by whose mercy my life has been yet prolonged to another year,

Starting point is 01:48:32 grant that thy mercy may not be vain. Let not my years be multiplied to increase my guilt. but as age advances, let me become more pure in my thoughts, more regular in my desires, and more obedient to thy laws. Let not the care of the world distract me, nor the evils of age overwhelm me, but continue and increase thy loving kindness towards me. And when thou shalt call me hence, receive me to everlasting happiness for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. Good Friday. The 9th of April. On this day I went twice to church and Boswell was with me. I had forborne to attend divine service for some time in the winter, having a cough which would have

Starting point is 01:49:29 interrupted both my attention and that of others. But when the cough grew less troublesome, I did not regain the habit of going to church, though I did not wholly omit it. I found the service not burdensome nor tedious, though I could not hear the lessons. I hope in time to take pleasure in public worship. On this whole day I took nothing of nourishment but one cup of tea without milk, but the fast was very inconvenient. Towards night I grew fretful and impatient, unable to fix my mind or govern my thoughts,

Starting point is 01:50:06 and felt a very uneasy sensation in both, my stomach and head, compounded, as it seemed, with laxity and pains. From this uneasiness, of which when I was not asleep I was sensible all night, I was relieved in the morning by drinking tea and eating the soft part of a penny loaf. Saturday, the 10th of April, I dined on cakes and found myself filled and satisfied. Having offered my prayers to God, I will now review the last year. Of the spring and summer, I remember that I was able in those seasons to examine and improve my dictionary, and were seldom withheld from the work but by my own unwillingness. Of my nights I have no distinct remembrance, but believe that, as in many foregoing years,

Starting point is 01:51:03 they were painful and restless. O God, grant that I may not misspend or lose the time which thou shalt yet allow me, for Jesus Christ's sake, have mercy upon me. My purpose is to attain, in the remaining part of the year, as much knowledge as can easily be had of the Gospels and the Pentateuch. Concerning the Hebrew I am in doubt, I hope likewise to enlarge my knowledge of divinity, by reading at least once a week, some sermon or small theological tract, or some portion of a larger work. To this important and extensive study, my purpose is to appropriate part of every Sunday, Holy Day, Wednesday and Friday, and to begin with the Gospels. Perhaps I may not be able to study the Pentateuch before next year.

Starting point is 01:51:59 My general resolution, to which I humbly implore the help of God, is to methodize my life, to resist sloth. I hope from this time to keep a journal. On Friday I read the first of Mark and Clark's Sermon on Faith. On Saturday I read little, but wrote the foregoing account and the following prayer. The 10th of April, near midnight. Almighty God, by whose mercy I am now about to commemorate the death of my Redeemer, grant that from this time I may so live as that his death may be efficacious to my eternal happiness. enable me to conquer all evil customs, deliver me from evil and vexatious thoughts,

Starting point is 01:52:52 grant me light to discover my duty and grace to perform it. As my life advances, let me become more pure and more holy. Take not from me thy Holy Spirit, but grant that I may serve thee with diligence and confidence. And when thou shalt call me hence, receive me to everlasting happiness, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. Easter Sunday the 11th of April 1773.

Starting point is 01:53:25 I had more disturbance in the night than had been customary for some weeks past. I rose before nine in the morning and prayed and drank tea. I came, I think, to church in the beginning of the prayers. I did not distinctly hear the Psalms and found that I had been reading the Psalms for Good Friday. I went through the litany, after a short disturbance, with tolerable attention. After sermon, I perused my prayer in the pew, then went nearer the altar, and being introduced into another pew used my prayer again, and recommended my relations,

Starting point is 01:54:05 with Bethurst and Boothby, then my wife again by herself. Then I went nearer the altar, and read the collect chosen for meditation, I prayed for Salisbury, and I think, the thrales. I then communicated that calmness, used the clect for Easter Day, and returning to the first pew, prayed my prayer the third time. I came home, again used my prayer in the Easter clect, then went into the study to Boswell, and read the Greek Testament. Then dined, and when Boswell went away,

Starting point is 01:54:42 ended the four first chapters of St Matthew and the Beatitudes of the 5th I then went to evening prayers and was composed I gave the pew-keepers each five shillings and three pence the 12th April near one in the morning I used my prayer

Starting point is 01:55:04 with my ordinary devotions and hoped to lead henceforth a better life Friday the 18th of June 1773 This day, after dinner, died Mrs. Salisbury. She had for some days almost lost the power of speaking. Yesterday, as I touched her hand and kissed it,

Starting point is 01:55:32 she pressed my hand between her two hands, which she probably intended as the parting caress. At night her speech returned a little, and she said, among other things, to her daughter, I have had much time, and I hope I have used it. This morning, being called about nine to fill her pulse, I said at parting, God bless you, for Jesus Christ's sake. She smiled as pleased.

Starting point is 01:56:03 She had her senses, perhaps, to the dying moment. The 22nd of July, 1773. This day I found this book, with the resolutions, some of which I had forgotten. but remembered my design of reading the Pentateuch and Gospels, though I have not pursued it. Of the time passed since these resolutions were made, I can give no very laudable account. Between Easter and Witson Tide, having always considered that time as propitious to study, I attempted to learn the low Dutch language. My application was very slight, and my memory

Starting point is 01:56:50 very fallacious, though whether more than in my earlier years I am not very certain. My progress was interrupted by a fever, which, by the imprudent use of a small print, left an inflammation in my useful eye, which was not removed but by two copious bleeding and the daily use of cathartics for a long time. The effect yet remains. My memory has been for a long time very much confused. Names and persons and events slide away strangely from me, but I grow easier. The other day, looking over old papers, I perceived a resolution to rise early always occurring. I think I was ashamed or grieved to find how long and how often I had resolved, what yet, except for about one half year I have never done.

Starting point is 01:57:49 My nights are now such as give me no quiet rest. Whether I have not lived resolving till the possibility of performance is past, I know not. God help me, I will yet try. Talisker in Sky The 24th of September, 1773 On last Saturday was my 64th birthday. I might perhaps have forgotten it, had not Boswell told me of it, and, what pleased me less, told the family at Dunvegan.

Starting point is 01:58:31 The last year is added to those of which little use has been made. I tried in the summer to learn Dutch and was interrupted by an information in my eye. I set out in August on this journey to sky. I find my memory uncertain, but hope it is only by a life immethetical and scattered. Of my body, I do not perceive that exercise or change of air. has yet either increased the strength or activity. My nights are still disturbed by flatulencies. I hope is, for resolution I dare no longer call it,

Starting point is 01:59:07 to divide my time regularly, and to keep such a journal of my time as may give me comfort in reviewing it. But when I consider my age and the broken state of my body, I have great reason to fear lest death should lay hold upon me, while I am yet only designing to live. But I have yet hope. Almighty God, most merciful father, look down upon me with pity.

Starting point is 01:59:37 Thou hast protected me in childhood and youth. Support me, Lord, in my declining years. Preserve me from the dangers of sinful presumption. Give me, if it be best for me, stability of purposes and tranquility of mind. Let the year which I have now begun, be spent to thy glory and to the furtherance of my salvation. Take not from me thy Holy Spirit, but as death approaches,

Starting point is 02:00:05 prepare me to appear joyfully in thy presence, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. End of Section 12. Section 13 of prayers and meditations by Samuel Johnson. This Librevox recording is in the public domain. The 1st of January, near two in the morning, Almighty God, merciful Father, who hateest nothing that thou hast made, but wouldest that all should be saved, have mercy upon me?

Starting point is 02:00:53 As thou hast extended my life, increase my strength, direct my purposes, and confirm my resolution, that I may truly serve thee, and perform the duties which thou shalt allot me. Relieve, O gracious Lord, according to thy mercy, The pains and distempers of my body, And appease the tumults of my mind. Let my faith in obedience increase as my life advances, And let the approach of my death incite my desire to please thee And invigorate my diligence in good works,

Starting point is 02:01:30 Till at last, when thou shalt call me to another state, I shall lie down in humble heart. hope supported by thy Holy Spirit and be received to everlasting happiness through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. I hope to read the Gospels before Easter, to rise at 8, to be temperate in food. This year has passed with so little improvement that I doubt whether I have not rather impaired and increased my learning. To this omission, some external causes. have contributed. In the winter I was distressed by a cough, in the summer and inflammation fell upon my useful eye, from which it has not yet, I fear, recovered. In the autumn I took a journey to

Starting point is 02:02:23 the Hebrides, but my mind was not free from perturbation. Yet the chief cause of my deficiency has been a life immatical and unsettled, which breaks all purposes, confounds and suppresses memory and perhaps leaves too much leisure to imagination. O Lord, have mercy upon me. 1775. Mourndy Thursday, the 13th of April. Over the use of time, or of my commendation of myself, I thought no more, but lost life in restless nights and broken days till this week awakened my attention. This year has passed with very little improvement, perhaps with diminution of knowledge. Much time I have not left, infirmities oppress me, but much remains to be done. I hope to rise at eight or sooner in the morning. Good

Starting point is 02:03:28 Friday, the 14th of April, 1775. Boswell came in before I was up, we breakfasted. I I only drank tea without milk or bread. We went to church, saw Mr. Weatherwell in the pew, and, by his desire, took him home with us. He did not go very soon, and Boswell stayed. Boswell and I went to church, but came very late. We then took tea by Boswell's desire, and I eat one bun, I think,

Starting point is 02:04:01 that I might not seem to fast ostentatiously. Boswell sat with me till night. we had some serious talk. When he went, I gave Francis some directions for preparation to communicate. Thus has passed, hitherto, this awful day. 10.30pm. When I look back upon the resolutions of improvement and amendment, which have year after year been made and broken,

Starting point is 02:04:33 either by negligence, forgetfulness, vicious idleness, casual interruption, or morbid infirmity. when i find that so much of my life has stolen unprofitably away and that i can descry by retrospection scarcely a few single days properly and vigorously employed why do i yet resolve again i try because reformation is necessary and despair is criminal i try in humble hope of the help of god as my life has from my earliest years been wasted in a morning bed my purpose is from easter day to rise early not later than eight eleven fifteen p m easter eve the fifteenth of april seventeen seventy five i rose more early than as common after a night disturbed by flatulancies though i had taken so little i prayed but my mind was unsettled and i did not fix upon the book After the bread and tea I trifled, and about three ordered coffee and buns for my dinner. I find more faintness and uneasiness in fasting than I did formerly.

Starting point is 02:05:52 While coffee was preparing, Collier came in, a man whom I had not seen for more than 20 years, but whom I consulted about Mackie's books. We talked of old friends and past occurrences, and eat and drink together. I then read a little in the Testament and tried Fids' body of divinity but did not settle. I then went to evening prayer and was tolerably composed. At my return I sat a while, then retired but found reading uneasy. 11 p.m. These days in which I fasted, I have not been sleepy, though I rested.

Starting point is 02:06:39 Easter Day, the 16th day. of April 1775. Almighty God, Heavenly Father, whose mercy is over all thy works, look with pity upon my misery and sins. Suffer me to commemorate in thy presence, my redemption by thy son, Jesus Christ. Enable me so to repent of my mis-spent time that I may pass the residue of my life in thy fear and to thy glory. Relieve, O Lord, as seemeth best unto thee, the infirmity to my body and the perturbation of my mind, fill my thoughts with awful love of thy goodness, with just fear of thine anger, and with humble confidence in thy mercy. Let me study thy laws, and labour in the duties which thou shalt set before me, take not from me thy Holy Spirit, but incite in me such good desires,

Starting point is 02:07:36 as may produce diligent endeavours after thy glory and my own salvation. And when, after hopes and fears and joys and sorrows, thou shalt call me hence, receive me to eternal happiness for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. Collier is dead. The 7th of April 1776, transcribed from a former book with a slight emendation or two. With that book I parted, perhaps unnecessarily, by a catch. The 18th of September, 1775.

Starting point is 02:08:25 O God, by whom all things were created and are sustained, who givest and takest away, in whose hands are life and death, except my imperfect thanks for the length of days which thou hast felt, safe to grant me. Impress upon my mind such repentance of the time misspent in sinfulness and negligence, that I may obtain forgiveness of all my offences, and so calm my mind and strengthen my resolutions, that I may live the remaining part of my life in thy fear and with thy favour. Take not thy Holy Spirit from me, but let me so love thy laws, and so obey them, that I may

Starting point is 02:09:07 finally be received to eternal happiness through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. Composed at Calais in a sleepless night and used before the morn at Notre Dame, written at Saint Hermas. End of Section 13. Section 14 of prayers and meditations by Samuel Johnson. This Librevox recording is in the public domain. The 1st of January. Almighty God, merciful Father, who has permitted me to see the beginning of another year, grant that the time which thou shalt yet afford me may be spent to thy glory and the salvation of my own soul.

Starting point is 02:10:11 Strengthen all good resolutions, and take not from me thy Holy Spirit, but have mercy upon me, and shed thy blessing both on my soul and body for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. Easter Day the 7th of April The time is again at which since the death of my poor dear Tetti

Starting point is 02:10:38 on whom God have mercy I have annually commemorated the mystery of redemption and annually purposed to amend my life. My reigning sin to which perhaps many others are a pendant, is waste of time, and general sluggishness, to which I was always inclined, and in part of my life, have been almost compelled by morbid melancholy and disturbance of mind. Melancholy has had in me its paroxysms and remissions, that I have not improved the intervals, nor sufficiently resisted my natural inclination,

Starting point is 02:11:16 or sickly habits. I will resolve henceforth to rise at 8 in the morning, so far as resolution is proper, and will pray that God will strengthen me. I have begun this morning. Though for the past week I have had an anxious design of communicating today, I performed no particular act of devotion till on Friday I went to church. My design was to pass part of the day in exercises of piety, but Mr Boswell interrupted me. Of him, however, I could have rid myself,

Starting point is 02:11:53 but poor Thrail came for comfort and sat till seven when we all went to church. In the morning I had at church some radiations of comfort. I fasted, though less rigorously than at other times. I, by negligence, poured milk into the tea and in the afternoon drank one dish of coffee with Thrail. Yet at night, after a fit of drowsiness, I felt myself very much disordered by emptiness, and called for tea, with peevish and impatient eagerness. My distress was very great. Yesterday, I do not recollect that to go to church came into my thoughts, but I sat in my chamber, preparing for preparation, interrupted, I know not how, I was near two hours at dinner. I go now with hope, to rise, in the morning at eight, to use my remaining time with diligence, to study more accurately the

Starting point is 02:12:56 Christian religion, Almighty and most merciful Father, who hast preserved me by thy tender forbearance, once more to commemorate thy love in the redemption of the world, grant that I may so live the residue of my days as to obtain thy mercy when thou shalt call me from the present state, illuminate my thoughts with knowledge and inflame my heart with holy desires. Grant me to resolve well and keep my resolutions. Take not from me thy Holy Spirit, but in life and in death have mercy upon me, for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen. 2 p.m.

Starting point is 02:13:43 In the pew I read my prayer and commended my friends and those that died this year. At the altar I was generally attentive. Some thoughts of vanity came into my mind while others were communicating, but I found when I considered them that they did not tend to the irreverence of God. At the altar I renewed my resolutions. When I received, some tender images struck me. I was so mollified by the concluding address to our Saviour that I could not utter it. The communicants were mostly women. At intervals I read collect and recollected as I could my prayer. Since my return I have said it. The 21st of May 1776. These resolutions I have not practiced nor recollected. O God, grant me to begin now for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen.

Starting point is 02:14:48 The 25th of July 1776. O God, who hast ordained that whatever is to be desired should be sought by labour, and who, by thy blessing, bringest honest labour to good effect. Look with mercy upon my studies and endeavours. Grant me, O Lord, to design only what is lawful and right, and afford me calmness of mind and steadiness of purpose, that I may so do thy will in this short life, as to obtain happiness in the world to come for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord.

Starting point is 02:15:30 Amen. End of Section 14. Section 15 of prayers and meditations by Samuel Johnson. This Librevox recording is in the public domain. 1777. 1st of January. 2pm. Almighty Lord,

Starting point is 02:15:59 Merciful Father, felt safe to accept. the thanks which I now presume to offer thee for the prolongation of my life. Grant, O Lord, that as my days are multiplied, my good resolutions may be strengthened, my power of resisting temptations increased, and my struggles with snares and obstructions invigorated. Relieve the infirmities both of my mind and body, grant me such strength as my duties may require, and such diligence as may improve those opportunities of good. that shall be offered me. Deliver me from the intrusion of evil thoughts, grant me true repentance of my

Starting point is 02:16:39 past life, and as I draw nearer and nearer to the grave, strengthen my faith, enliven my hope, extend my charity and purify my desires, and so help me by thy Holy Spirit, that when it shall be thy pleasure to call me hence, I may be received to everlasting happiness for the sake of thy son, Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. The 28th of March. This day is Good Friday. It is likewise the day on which my poor Tettie was taken from me. My thoughts were disturbed in bed. I remembered that it was my wife's dying day and begged pardon for all our sins and commended her. but resolved to mix little of my own sorrows or cares with the great solemnity. Having taken only tea without milk, I went to church.

Starting point is 02:17:39 I had time before service to commend my wife and wished to join quietly in the service, but I did not hear well, and my mind grew unsettled and perplexed. Having rested ill in the night, I slumbered at the sermon, which I think I could not as I sat. perfectly here. I returned home but could not settle my mind. At last I read a chapter, then went down, about six or seven, and eat two cross buns and drank tea. Fasting for some

Starting point is 02:18:13 time had been uneasy, and I have taken but little. At night I had some ease. I had prayed for pardon peace. I slept in the afternoon. The 29th of March, Easter Eve. I rose and again prayed, with reference to my departed wife. I neither read nor went to church, yet can scarcely tell how I have been hindered. I treated with booksellers on a bargain, but the time was not long. The 30th of March, Easter Day. The day is now come again, in which, by a custom which since the death of my wife I have by the divine assistance always observed I am to renew the great covenant with my maker and my judge

Starting point is 02:19:07 I humbly hope to perform it better I hope for more efficacy of resolution and more diligent of endeavour when I survey my past life I discover nothing but a barren waste of time with some disorders of body and disturbances of the mind very near to man which I hope he that made me will suffer to extenuate many faults and excuse many deficiencies.

Starting point is 02:19:34 Yet much remains to be repented and reformed. I hope that I refer more to God than in former times, and consider more what submission is due to his dispensations. But I have very little reformed my practical life, and the time which I can struggle with habits cannot be now expected to be long. expected to belong. Grant, O God, that I may no longer resolve in vain, or dream away the life which thy indulgence gives me, in vacancy and uselessness. I went to bed about two, had a disturbed night, though not so distressful as at some other times. Almighty and most merciful father,

Starting point is 02:20:21 who seest all our miseries, and knowest all our necessities, look down upon me and pity me. defend me from the violent incursions of evil thoughts, and enable me to form and keep such resolutions as may conduce to the discharge of the duties which thy providence shall appoint me. And so help me, by thy Holy Spirit, that my heart may surely there be fixed where true joys are to be found, and that I may serve thee with pure affection and cheerful mind. Have mercy upon me, O God. Have mercy upon me, O God. Have mercy of upon me. Years and infirmities oppress me. Terror and anxiety beset me. Have mercy upon me, my creator and my judge. In all dangers protect me, in all perplexities relieve and free me,

Starting point is 02:21:12 and so help me by thy Holy Spirit, that I may now so commemorate the death of my son, our Saviour Jesus Christ, as that when this short and painful life shall have an end, I may, his sake, be received to everlasting happiness. Amen. The 6th of April, 1777. By one strange hindrance or another, I have been withheld from the continuation of my thoughts to this day, the Sunday following Easter Day. On Easter Day I was at church early, and there prayed over my prayer, and commended Tetty

Starting point is 02:21:52 and my other friends. I was for some time much distressed, but at last obtained, I hope from the God of peace, more quiet than I've enjoyed for a long time. I had made no resolution, but as my heart grew lighter, my hopes revived and my courage increased, and I wrote with my pencil in my common prayer book, Vita ordinaranda, Bibliya legenda, Theologia opera danda, Servianum et Litandum. I then went to the altar, having, I believe, again read my prayer. I then went to the table and communicated, praying for some time afterwards. But the particular matter of my prayer I do not remember. I dined by an appointment with Mrs. Gardiner

Starting point is 02:22:41 and passed the afternoon with such calm gladness of mind as it is very long since I felt before. I came home and began to read the Bible. I passed the night in such sweet uninterrupted sleep. as i have not known since i slept at fort augustus on monday i dined with shiard on tuesday with paradise the mornings have been devoured by company and one intrusion has through the whole week succeeded to another at the beginning of the year i proposed to myself a scheme of life and a plan of study but neither life has been rectified nor study followed days and months pass in a dream and i am afraid of my friend that my memory grows less tenacious, and my observation less attentive. If I am decaying, it is time to make haste. My nights are restless and tedious, and my days drowsy. The flatulence which torments me has sometimes so obstructed my breath that the act of respiration became not only voluntary, but labourous in a decumbent posture. By copious bleeding I was relieved,

Starting point is 02:23:56 but not cured. I have this year omitted church on most Sundays, intending to supply the deficiency in the week, so that I owe twelve attendances on worship. I will make no more such superstitious stipulations which entangle the mind with unbidden obligations. My purpose once more, O thou merciful creator that governest all our hearts and actions, let not my purpose be vain. purpose once more is to rise at eight, to keep a journal, to read the whole Bible in some language before Easter, to gather the arguments for Christianity, to worship God more frequently in public. Ashbourne, the 18th of September 1777. Almighty and most merciful Father, who has brought me to the beginning of another year, grant me so to remember thy gifts,

Starting point is 02:25:01 and so to acknowledge thy goodness, as that every year and day which thou shalt yet grant me may be employed in the amendment of my life, and in the diligent discharge of such duties as thy providence shall allot me. Grant me by thy grace to know and to do what thou requirest. Give me good desires, and remove those impediments which may hinder them from effect. Forgive me my sins, negligences and ignorances. and when at last thou shalt call me to another life, receive me to everlasting happiness, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Starting point is 02:25:45 End of Section 15. Section 16 of prayers and meditations by Samuel Johnson. This Librevox recording is in the public domain. 1778. Good Friday. The 17th of April. It has happened this week, as it never happened in the Passion Week before, that I have never dined at home, and I have therefore neither practice abstinence nor peculiar devotion. This morning before I went to bed, I enlarge my prayers, by adding sun-collects with reference to the day. I rested moderately, and rose about nine, which is more early than usual.

Starting point is 02:26:35 I think I added something to my morning prayers. Boswell came in to go to church. We had tea, but I did not eat. Talk lost our time, and we came to church late at the second lesson. My mind has been for some time feeble and impressible, and some trouble it gave me in the morning, but I went with some confidence and calmness through the prayers. In my return from church, I was accosted by Edmund,

Starting point is 02:27:05 an old fellow collegian, who had not seen me since 1729. He knew me and asked if I remembered one Edwards. I did not at first recollect the name, but gradually, as we walked along, recovered it, and told him a conversation that had passed at an alehouse between us. My purpose is to continue our acquaintance. We sat till the time of worship in the afternoon, and then came again late, at the Psalms. Not easily, I think, hearing the sermon, or not being attentive, I fell asleep. When we came home we had tea. I eat two buns, being somewhat uneasy with fasting, and not being alone. If I had not been observed, I should probably have fasted. Easterday, the 18th of April, after 12 at night. O Lord, have mercy upon me.

Starting point is 02:28:05 Yesterday I rose late, having not slept ill. Having promised a dedication, I thought it necessary to write, but for some time neither wrote nor read. Langdon came in and talked. After dinner I wrote. At tea, Boswell came in. He stayed near twelve. I purposed to have gone in the evening to church, but missed the hour.

Starting point is 02:28:30 Edwards observed how many we have outlived. I yet hope that my future life should. shall be better than my past. From the year 1752, the year in which my poor dear Tetti died, upon whose soul may God have had mercy for the sake of Jesus Christ, I have received the sacrament every year at Easter.

Starting point is 02:28:52 My purpose is to receive it now. O Lord God, for the sake of Jesus Christ, make it effectual to my salvation. My purposes are to study divinity, particularly the evidences of Christianity, to read the New Testament over in the year with more use than hitherto of commentators,

Starting point is 02:29:16 to be diligent in my undertakings, to serve and trust God and be cheerful. Almighty and most merciful Father, suffer me once more to commemorate the death of thy son, Jesus Christ, my saviour and make the memorial of his death profitable to my salvation, by strengthening my faith in his merits and quickening my obedience to his laws. Remove from me, O God, all inordinate desires, all corrupt passions and all vain terrors,

Starting point is 02:29:51 and fill me with zeal for thy glory and with confidence in thy mercy. Make me to love all men, and enable me to use thy gifts, whatever thou shalt bestow to the benefit of my fellow creatures. So lighten the weight of years, and so myth. the afflictions of disease that I may continue fit for thy service and useful in my station. And so let me pass through this life, by the guidance of thy Holy Spirit, that at last I may enter into eternal joy through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Starting point is 02:30:32 Having gone to bed about two, I rose about nine, and, having prayed, went to church. I came early and used this prayer. After sermon I again used my prayer, the collect for the day I repeated several times, at least the petitions. I recommended my friends. At the altar I prayed earnestly and when I came home, prayed for pardon and peace, repeated my own prayer and added to the petitions of the collect. O God have mercy upon me, for the sake of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Starting point is 02:31:09 As my return home, I return thanks for the opportunity of communion. I was cooled down to Mrs. Nolikins. Boswell came in, then dinner. After dinner, which I believe was late, I read the first epistle to Thessalonians, then went to evening prayers, then came to tea, and afterwards tried Vossius de Baptism. I was sleepy. Monday the 20th of April, 1778. After a good night, as I am forced to reckon, I rose reasonably, and prayed, using the collect for yesterday. In reviewing my time from Easter 1777,

Starting point is 02:31:52 I found a very melancholy and shameful blank. So little has been done that days and months are without any trace. My health has indeed been very much interrupted. My nights have been commonly not only restless, but painful and fatiguing. My respiration was once so difficult that an asthma was suspected.

Starting point is 02:32:14 I could not walk, but with great difficulty, from snow hill to greenhill. Some relaxation of my breast has been procured, I think, by opium, which, though it never gives me sleep, frees my breast from spasms. I have written a little of the lives of the poets, I think with all my usual vigour. I have made sermons, perhaps as readily as formerly.

Starting point is 02:32:38 My memory is less faithful in retaining names, and I'm afraid in retaining occurrences. Of this vacillation and vagrancy of mind, I impute a great part to a fortuitous and unsettled life, and therefore purpose to spend my time with more method. This year, the 28th of March, passed away without memorial. Poor Tettie, whatever were our faults and failings, we loved each other. I did not forget thee yesterday. Couldest thou have lived?

Starting point is 02:33:11 I am now, with the help of God, to begin a new life. Life. End of Section 16. Section 17 of prayers and meditations by Samuel Johnson. This Librevox Recordings in the public domain. 1779, the 1st of January, before one in the morning. Almighty God, merciful Father, who hast granted to me the beginning of another year, grant that I may employ thy gifts to thy glory. and my own salvation. Excite me to amend my life, give me good resolutions,

Starting point is 02:33:59 and enable me to perform them. As I approach the grave, let my faith be invigorated, my hope exalted, and my charity enlarged. Take not from me thy Holy Spirit, but in the course of my life, protect me,

Starting point is 02:34:15 in the hour of death, sustain me, and finally receive me to everlasting happiness for the sake of Jesus Christ, Amen. Good Friday, the 2nd of April. After a night, restless and oppressive, I rose this morning somewhat earlier than as usual,

Starting point is 02:34:36 and having taken tea, which was very necessary to compose the disorder in my breast, having eaten nothing, I went to church with Boswell. We came late, I was able to attend the litany with little perturbation. When we came home, I began the first to the Thessalusel. of the Thesslonians, having prayed by the collect for the right use of the scriptures. I gave Boswell-Loponse de Pascal that he might not interrupt me. I did not, I believe, read very diligently, and before I had read far, we went to church again. I was again attentive.

Starting point is 02:35:14 At home I read again, then drank tea, with a bun and a half, thinking myself less able to fast than at former times, and then concluded the epistle. Being much oppressed by drowsiness, I slept about an hour by the fire. 11pm I am now to review the last year and find little but dismal vacuity, neither business nor pleasure, much intended and little done. My health is much broken. My nights afford me little rest.

Starting point is 02:35:47 I have tried opium, but its help is counterbalance with great disturbance. It prevents the spasms, but it hinders sleep. God have mercy on me. Last week I published the lives of the poets, written, I hope, in such a manner as may tend to the promotion of piety. In this last year I have made little acquisition. I have scarcely read anything. I maintain Mrs. and her daughter. Are the good of myself I know not where to find, except a little charity. But I are now in my 70th year. What can be done ought not to be delayed. Easter Eve, the 3rd of April, 1779, 11pm. This is the time of my annual review

Starting point is 02:36:38 and annual resolution. The review is comfortless, little done. Part of the life of Dryden and the life of Milton have been written, but my mind has neither been improved nor enlarged. I have read little, almost nothing, and I am not conscious that I have gained any good or quitted any evil habits. Of resolutions I have made so many, with so little effect, that I am almost weary, but, by the help of God, and not yet hopeless. Good resolutions must be made and kept. I am almost 70 years old, and have no time to lose. The distressful restlessness of my nights makes it difficult to settle the course of my days. Something, however, let me do. Easter day, the 4th of April, 1779. I rose about half an hour after nine, transcribed the prayer

Starting point is 02:37:38 written last night, and by neglecting to count time, sat too long at breakfast, so that I came to church at the first lesson. I attended the litany pretty well, but in the pew could not hear the communion service and missed the prayer for the church militant. Before I went to the altar, I prayed the occasional prayer. I then prayed the collects, and again my own prayer by memory. I left out a clause. I then received, I hope with earnestness, and while others received sat down, but thinking that posture, though usual, improper, I rose and stood. I prayed again in the pew, but with what prayer I have forgotten. When I used the occasional prayer of the altar, I added a general purpose, to avoid idleness. I gave two shillings to the plate. Before I went I used, I think,

Starting point is 02:38:36 my prayer and endeavoured to calm my mind. After I returned I used it again, and neglect for the day. Lord have mercy upon me. I have for some night called Francis to prayers, and last night discoursed with him on the sacrament. Easter Day, the 4th of April. 1779. Purposes. To rise at 8, or as soon as I can, to read the scriptures, to study religion. Almighty God, by thy merciful continuance of my life, I come once more to commemorate the sufferings and death of thy son Jesus Christ, and to implore that mercy which, for his sake, thou showest to sinners. Forgive me my sins, O Lord, and enable me to forsake them. Ease, if it shall please thee, the anxieties of my mind,

Starting point is 02:39:38 and relieve the infirmities of my body. Let me not be disturbed by unnecessary terrors, and let not the weakness of age make me unable to amend my life. O Lord, take not from me thy Holy Spirit, but receive my petitions, succour and comfort me, and let me so pass the remainder of my days, that when thou shalt call me hence, I may enter into eternal happiness

Starting point is 02:40:03 through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. The 18th of September, 1779. Almighty God, Creator of all things, in whose hands are life and death, glory be to thee for all thy mercies, and for the prolongation of my life to the common age of man.

Starting point is 02:40:29 Pardon me, O gracious God, all the offences which in the course of seventy years I have committed against thy holy laws, and all negligences of those duties which thou hast required. Look with pity upon me. Take not from me thy Holy Spirit, but enable me to pass the days which thou shalt yet felt safe to grant me, in thy fear and to thy glory, and accept, O Lord, the remains of a misspent life,

Starting point is 02:40:58 that when thou shalt call me to another state, and may be received to everlasting happiness for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. My purpose is to communicate at least thrice a year to study the scriptures, to be diligent. End of Section 17.

Starting point is 02:41:30 Section 18 of prayers and meditations by Samuel Johnson. This Librevox recording is in the public domain. 1780, the 1st of January. 1 a.m. Almighty God, my creator and preserver, by whose mercy my life has been continued to the beginning of another year, grant me with increase of days, increase of holiness, that as I live longer, I may be better prepared to appear before thee, when thou shalt call me from my present state. Make me, O Lord, truly thankful for the mercy which thou hast felt safe to show me through my whole life. Make me thankful for the health which thou hast restored in the last year,

Starting point is 02:42:17 and let the remains of my strength and life be employed to thy glory and my own salvation. Take not, O Lord, thy Holy Spirit from me. Enable me to avoid or overcome all that may hinder my advancement in goodliness. Let me be no longer idle, no longer sinful, but give me rectitude of thought and constancy of action, and bring me at last to everlasting happiness, for the sake of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen. Sunday, the 18th of June. In the morning of this day last year, I perceived the remission of those convulsions in my breast,

Starting point is 02:43:04 which had distressed me for more than 20 years. I returned thanks to church for the mercy granted me, which has now continued a year. Thanksgiving. Almighty God, our Creator and Preserver, from whom proceedeth all good, with humble acknowledgement of thy unbounded benignity and with due consciousness of my own unworthiness, that recovery and continuance of health which thou had granted me, and vouchsafe to accept the thanks which I now offer. Glory be to thee, O Lord, for this and all thy mercies.

Starting point is 02:43:46 I beseech thee, that the health and life which thou shalt yet allow me may conduce to my eternal happiness. Take not from me thy Holy Spirit, but so help and bless me, that when thou shalt call me hence, I may obtain pardon and salvation for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. The 18th of September, 1780. I am now beginning the 72nd year of my life, with more strength of body and greater vigour of mind than I think is common at that age. But though the convulsions in my breast are relieved, my sleep is seldom long, my nights are wakeful, and therefore I am sometimes sleepy in the day. I have been attentive to my diet and have diminished the bulk of my body.

Starting point is 02:44:40 I have not at all studied, nor written diligently. I have swift and have swift and Pope yet to write. Swift has just begun. I have forgotten or neglected my resolutions or purposes, which I now humbly and timorously renew. Surely I shall not spend my whole life with my own total disapprobation. Perhaps God may grant me now to begin a wiser and better life. Almighty God, my creator and preserver, who has permitted me to begin another year, look with mercy upon my wretchedness and frailty. Rectify my thoughts, relieve my perplexities, strengthen my purposes, and reform my doings. Let increase of years bring increase of faith, hope and charity. Grant me diligent in whatever work thy providence shall appoint me. Take not from me thy Holy Spirit, but let me pass the remainder

Starting point is 02:45:39 of the days which thou shalt yet allow me, in thy fear and to thy glory, and when it shall be thy good pleasure to call me hence. Grant me, O Lord, forgiveness of my sins, and receive me to everlasting happiness for the sake of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen. End of Section 18. Section 19 of prayers and meditations by Samuel Johnson. This Librevox recording is in the public domain. 1781. The 2nd of January. I was yesterday hidden. by my old disease of mind and therefore begin today. The 1st of January. Having sat in my chamber till the year began,

Starting point is 02:46:37 I used my accommodation of the morning prayer to the beginning of this year and slept remarkably well, though I had supped liberally. In the morning I went to church, then I wrote letters for Mrs Desmolins, then went to Streatham and had many stops, had many stops. At night I took wine and did not sleep well, the 2nd of January. I rose according

Starting point is 02:47:06 to my resolution and have now to begin another year. I hope with amendment of life. I will not despair. Help me, help me, oh my God. My hope is, to rise at eight or sooner, to read the Bible through this year in some language, to keep a journal, to study religion, to avoid idleness. Almighty God, Merciful Father, who has granted me such continuance of life, as I now see the beginning of another year, look with mercy upon me. As thou grantest increase of years, grant increase of grace. Let me live to repent what I have done amiss, and by thy help so to regulate my future life, that I may obtain mercy when I appear before thee through the merit of Jesus Christ. Enable me, O Lord, to do my duty with a quiet mind, and take not from me

Starting point is 02:48:11 by Holy Spirit, but protect and bless me for the sake of Jesus Christ. Amen. Good Friday The 13th of April 1781. I have forgot my prayer and resolution. till two days ago I found this paper. Sometime in March I finished the lives of the poets, which I wrote in my usual way, dilatorily and hastily, unwilling to work, and working with vigour and haste. On Wednesday the 11th was buried my dear friend Thrail,

Starting point is 02:48:52 who died on Wednesday the 4th, and with him were buried many of my hopes and pleasures. About five, I think, on Wednesday morning he expired. I felt almost the last, flutter of its pulse and looked for the last time upon the face that, for fifteen years, have never been turned upon me but with respect or benignity. Farewell. May God, that delighteth in mercy, have had mercy on thee. I had constantly prayed for him some time before his death, the disease of him, from whose friendship I had

Starting point is 02:49:33 obtained many opportunities of amusement, and to whom I turned my thoughts as to a refuge from misfortunes has left me heavy. But my business is with myself, the 18th of September. My first knowledge of thrale was in 1695. I enjoyed his favour for almost a fourth part of my life. Easter Eve, the 14th of April, 1781. On Good Friday I took, in the afternoon, some coffee and buttered cake and today i had a little bread at breakfast and potatoes and apples in the afternoon the tea with a little toast but i find myself feeble and unsustained and suspect that i cannot bear to fast so long as formerly This day I read some of Clark's sermons. I hope that since my last communion I have advanced by pious reflections in my submission to God and my benevolence to man, but I have corrected no external habits, nor have kept any of the resolutions made in the beginning of the year. Yet I hope still to be reformed, and not to lose my whole life in idle purposes. Many years are already gone, irrevocably passed, in useless misery. that what remains may be spent better grant o god by this awful festival is particularly recommended newness of life and a new life i will now endeavour to begin by more diligent application to useful employment and more frequent attendance on public worship

Starting point is 02:51:17 i again with hope of help from the god of mercy resolved to avoid idleness to read the bible to study religion almighty god merciful father by whose protection i have been preserved and by whose clemency i have been spared grant that the life which thou hast so long continued may be no longer wasted in idleness or corrupted by wickedness Let my future purposes be good, and let not my good purposes be vain. Free me, O Lord, from vain terrors, and strengthen me in diligent obedience to thy laws. Take not from me thy Holy Spirit, but enable me so to commemorate the death of my Savior Jesus Christ, that I may be made partaker of its merits, and may finally, for his sake, obtain everlasting happiness. Amen. Easter Sunday, 1781.

Starting point is 02:52:26 I rose after eight and breakfasted, then went early to church, and before service read the prayer for the church militants. I commended my friends, as I have formally done. I was one of the last that communicated. When I came home I was hindered by visitants, but found time to pray before dinner. God, send thy blessing upon me, Monday the 16th of April. At night I had some mental vellications or revulsions. I prayed in my chamber with Frank and read the first Sunday in the duty of man, in which I had till then only looked by compulsion or by chance.

Starting point is 02:53:15 This day I repeated my prayer and hoped to be heard. I have, I thank God, received the sacrament, every year at Easter since the death of my poor dear Tetti. I once felt some temptation to omit it, that I was preserved from compliance. This was the 30th Easter. The 22nd of June 1781. Almighty God, who art the giver of all good, enable me to remember with due thankfulness the comforts and advantages which I have enjoyed by the friendship of Henry Thrail, for whom, so far as is lawful, I humbly implore thy mercy in his present state. O Lord, since thou hast been pleased to call him from this world,

Starting point is 02:54:08 look with mercy upon those whom he has left. Continue to succour me by such means as are best for me, and repay to his relations the kindness which I have received from him. Protect them in this world from temptations and calamities, and grant them happiness in the world. to come, for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen. The 2nd of September, 1781.

Starting point is 02:54:40 When Thrail's health was broken, for many months I think before his death, which happened on the 4th of April, I constantly mentioned him in my prayers, and after his death, have made particular supplication for his surviving family to this day, the 18th of September. but this is my seventy-third birthday an awful day i said a preparatory prayer last night and waking early made use in the dark as i sat up in bed of the prayer i rose breakfasted and gave thanks to church for my creation preservation and redemption as i came home i thought i had never begun any period of life so placidly i read the second epistle to the thessalonians and looked into hammond's notes i have always been accustomed to let this day pass on notice but it came this time into my mind that some little festivity was not improper i had a dinner and invited allan and levitt my purposes are the same as on the first day of this year to which i add hope of more frequent attendance on public worship participation of the sacrament at least three times a year the eighteenth of september almighty and most merciful father who hast added another year to my life and yet permit us me to call upon thee

Starting point is 02:56:20 grant that the remaining days which thou shalt yet allow me may be passed in thy fear and to thy glory grant me good resolutions and steady perseverance relieve the diseases of my body and compose the disquiet of my mind. Let me at last repent and amend my life, and, O Lord, take not from me thy Holy Spirit, but assist my amendment and accept my repentance for the sake of Jesus Christ. Amen. Sunday, the 14th of October 1781. I am this day about to go by Oxford and Birmingham to Litchfield and Ashbourne. The motives of my journey I hardly know. I omitted it last year and am not willing to miss it again. Mrs. Aston will be glad, I think, to see me. We are both old and if I put off my visit, I may see her no more. She is a very good woman. Hector is likewise an old friend, the only companion of my childhood that passed through

Starting point is 02:57:32 the school with me. We have always loved one another. Perhaps we may be made better by some serious conversation, of which, however, I have no distinct hope. At Litchfield, my native place, I hope to show a good example by frequent attendance on public worship. End of Section 19. Section 20 of prayers and Meditations by Samuel Johnson. This Librevox recording is in the public domain. 1782. The 18th of March. Having been, from the middle of January, distressed by a cold which made my respiration very labourous, and from which I was but little relieved by being blooded three times, having tried to ease the oppression of my breast by frequent opiates, which kept me waking in the night and drowsy the next day,

Starting point is 02:58:39 and subjected me to the tyranny of vain imaginations. Having to all this added frequent cathartics, sometimes with mercury, I at last persuaded Dr. Lawrence, on Thursday the 14th of March, to let me bleed more copiously. Sixteen ounces were taken away, and from that time my breath has been free, and my breast easy. On that day I took little food and no flesh. On Thursday night I slept with great tranquility. On the next day, the 15th, I took diacodium and had a most restless night.

Starting point is 02:59:20 Of the next day I remember nothing, but that I rose in the afternoon and saw Mrs. Lennox and shewered. Sunday the 17th. I lay late and had only pull through to dinner. I read part of Waller's directory, a pious rational book, but in any except a very regular life, difficult to practice. It occurred to me that though my time might pass unemployed, no more should pass uncounted, and this has been written today in consequence of that thought. I read a Greek chapter, prayed with Francis, which I now do commonly, and explain to him the Lord's prayer, in which I find connection not observed, I think, by the expositors.

Starting point is 03:00:08 I made punch for myself and my servants, by which, in the night, I thought both my breast and imagination disordered. March the 18th. I rose late, looked a little into books, saw Miss Reynolds and Miss Thrail, and Nicolada, afterwards Dr. Hunter came for his catalogue. I then dined on tea, etc. then read over part of dr lawrence's book de temperamentis which seems to have been written with a troubled mind my mind has been for some time much disturbed that the peace of god be with me

Starting point is 03:00:49 i hope to-morrow to finish lawrence and to write to mrs ashton and to lucy the nineteenth i rose late i was visited by mrs thrale mr cotton and mr I took Lawrence's paper in hand, but was chill. Having fasted yesterday I was hungry, and dined freely, then slept a little and drank tea. Then took candles and wrote to Aston and Lucy, then went on with Lawrence, of which little remains. I prayed with Francis. Men sedatio, Laus Dale. Tomorrow sure comes. I think to finish Lawrence and write to Langton. Paul Lawrence has almost lost a sense of hearing, and I have lost the conversation of a learned, intelligent, and communicative companion, and a friend whom long familiarity has much endeared. Lawrence is one of the best men whom I have known. Nostrum, Omnium, Miserere, Deus Shaw came, I finished reading Lawrence. I dined liberally.

Starting point is 03:02:06 wrote a long letter to Langton and designed to read but was hindered by Strahan. The ministry is dissolved. I prayed with Francis and gave thanks. Tomorrow. To Mrs. Thrail, to write to Hector, to Dr. Taylor. The 21st. I went to Mrs. Thrail. Mr. Cox and Paradise met me at the door and went with me and the coach. Paradise is lost. In the evening wrote to Hector, at night there were eleven visitors, conversation with Mr. Cox. When I waked I saw penthouses covered with snow.

Starting point is 03:02:49 The 22nd. I spent the time idly, men's tabata. In the afternoon it snowed. At night I wrote to Taylor about the pot and to Hamilton about the Fiedera. I came home and found that Desmeline's had while I was away been in bed, letters from Langton and Boswell. I promised six guineas. The 24th, Sunday. I rose not early. Visitors Alan, Davis, Wyndham, Dr. Hawley, dinner at Strahans,

Starting point is 03:03:28 came home and chatted with Williams and read Romans 9 in Greek. tomorrow begin again to read the Bible, put rooms in order. Copy Elle's letter. At night I read 11 pages and something more of the Bible in 55 minutes. 26, Tuesday. I copied Elle's letter, then wrote to Mr. Thrail. Clocks visited me. I sent home Dr. Lawrence's papers with notes.

Starting point is 03:04:01 I gave a guinea and found her a gown. the twenty seventh wednesday at harley street bad nights in the evening dr bromfield and his family merlin stillyard given me the twenty eighth thursday i came home sold rymer for davies wrote to boswell visitors dr percy mr crofts i have in ten days written to ashton lucy hector langton boswell perhaps to all by whom my letters are desired. The weather, which now begins to be warm, gives me great help. I have hardly been at church this year, certainly not since the 15th of January. My cough and difficulty of breath would not permit it.

Starting point is 03:04:54 This is a day on which, in 1752, dear Tettie died. I have now uttered a prayer of repentance and contrition. Perhaps Tettie knows as I prayed for her. Perhaps Tettie is now praying for me. God help me. Thou, God, art merciful. Hear my prayers and enable me to trust in thee. We were married almost 17 years and have now been parted 30.

Starting point is 03:05:24 I then read 11 pages from Exodus 36 to Leviticus 7. I prayed with Francis and used the prayer for good prayer. Friday. The 29th. Good Friday. After a night of great disturbance and solicitude, such as I do not remember, I rose, drank tea, but without eating, and went to church. I was very composed and coming home read Hammond on one of the Psalms for the day. I then read Leviticus. Scott came in, a kind letter from gastral. I read on, and then went to evening prayers, and afterwards drank tea with buns, then read till I finished Leviticus 24. To write to Gastril tomorrow. To look again into Hammond. The 30th, Saturday. Visitors Paradise, and I think hoarsely, read 11 pages of the Bible.

Starting point is 03:06:28 I was faint, dined on herrings and potatoes. At prayers I think in the evening, I wrote to Gastral and received a kind letter from Hector. At night low, prayed with Francis. The 31st, Easter Day, read 15 pages of the Bible. Kiterra alibi. At the table. Almighty God, by whose mercy I am now permitted to commemorate my redemption by our Lord Jesus Christ. Grant that this awful remembrance may strengthen my faith, enliven my hope and increase my charity. That I may trust in thee with my whole heart, and do good according to thy power. Grant me the help of thy Holy Spirit, that I may do thy will with diligence, and suffer it with humble patience, so that when thou shalt call me to judgment, I may obtain forgiveness and acceptance,

Starting point is 03:07:32 for the sake of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen. At departure, or at home. Grant, I beseech thee, merciful Lord, that the designs of a new and better life, which by thy grace I have now formed may not pass away without effect. incite and enable me by thy Holy Spirit to improve the time which thou shalt grant me, to avoid all evil thoughts, words and actions, and to do all the duties which thou shalt set before me. Hear my prayer, O Lord, for the sake of Jesus Christ.

Starting point is 03:08:15 Amen. These prayers I wrote for Mrs. Lucy Porter. Footnote. Daughter-in-law to Dr. Johnson and now living at Litchfield. end footnote in the latter end of the year seventeen eighty two and transcribed them the ninth of october seventeen eighty four on leaving mr thrale's family the sixth of october seventeen eighty two almighty god father of all mercy help me by thy grace that i may with humble and sincere thankfulness remember the comforts and conveniences which i have enjoyed at this place and that I may resign them with holy submission, equally trusting in thy protection when thou givest and when thou takest away. Have mercy upon me, O Lord, have mercy upon me. To thy fatherly

Starting point is 03:09:15 protection, O Lord, I commend this family. Bless, guide and defend them that they may so pass through this world as find me to enjoy in thy presence, everlasting happiness, for Jesus Christ's sake. amen the seventh of october i was called early i packed up my bundles and used the foregoing prayer with my morning devotion somewhat i think enlarged being earlier than the family i read st paul's farewell in the acts and then read fortuitously in the gospels which was my parting use of the library end of section twenty section twenty one of prayers and meditation by Samuel Johnson. This Libravox recording is in the public domain. 1783, the 6th of September. I had just heard of William's death.

Starting point is 03:10:24 Almighty and most merciful Father, who art the Lord of life and death, who givest and who takest away, teach me to adore thy providence, whatever thou shalt allot me. Make me to remember, remember with due thankfulness the comforts which I have received from my friendship with Anna Williams look upon her O Lord with mercy and prepare me by thy grace to die with hope

Starting point is 03:10:53 and to pass by death to eternal happiness through Jesus Christ our Lord Amen 1784 Easter Day the 11th of April Almighty God Almighty God my Christ my Christ Creator and my judge, who giveest life and takest it away, enable me to return sincere and humble thanks for my late deliverance from immediate death. So govern my future life by thy Holy Spirit, that every day which thou shalt permit to pass over me may be spent in thy service, and leave me less tainted with wickedness and more submissive to thy will. enable me, O Lord, to glorify thee for that knowledge of my corruption and that sense of thy wrath, which my disease and weakness and danger awakened in my mind.

Starting point is 03:11:52 Give me such sorrow as may purify my heart, such indignation as may quench all confidence in myself, and such repentance as may by the intercession of my redeemer, obtain pardon. let the commemoration of the sufferings and death of thy son, which I am now, by thy favour, once more permitted to make. Fill me with faith, hope and charity. Let my purposes be good, and my resolutions unshaken, and let me not be hindered or distracted by vain and useless fears, but through the time which yet remains, guide me by thy Holy Spirit, and finally receive me to everlasting life. for the sake of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

Starting point is 03:12:41 Amen. Against inquisitive and perplexing thoughts. The 12th of August 1784 O Lord, my maker and protector, who has graciously sent me into this world to work out my salvation, enable me to drive from me all such unquiet and perplexing thoughts as may mislead or hinder me in the practice of those duties which thou hast required. When I behold the works of thy hands,

Starting point is 03:13:15 and consider the course of thy providence, give me grace always to remember that thy thoughts are not my thoughts, nor thy ways, my ways. And while it shall please thee to continue me in this world, where much is to be done, and little is to be known, teach me by thy Holy Spirit to withdraw my mind from unprofitable and dangerous inquiries, from difficulties vainly curious, and doubts impossible to be solved. Let me rejoice in the light which thou hast imparted,

Starting point is 03:13:51 let me serve thee with active zeal and humble confidence, and wait with patient expectation for the time in which the soul which thou receiveest shall be satisfied with knowledge. Grant this, O Lord, for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen. Ashbourne, the 28th of August, 1784. Almighty and most merciful, who afflictest not willingly the children of men,

Starting point is 03:14:24 and by whose holy will, blank, now languishes in sickness and pain, and make, I beseech thee, this punishment effectual, to those gracious purposes for which thou sendest it. Let it, if I may presume to ask, end not in death, but in repentance. Let him live to promote thy kingdom on earth by the useful example of a better life. But if thy will be to call him hence, let his thoughts be so purified by his sufferings,

Starting point is 03:14:58 that he may be admitted to eternal happiness. And, O Lord, by praying for him, Let me be admonished to consider my own sins and my own danger, to remember the shortness of life, and to use the time which thy mercy grants me to thy glory and my own salvation, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. The following prayer was composed and used by Dr. Johnson, previous to his receiving the sacrament of the Lord's supper, on Sunday the 5th of December, 1784.

Starting point is 03:15:38 He died the 13th following. Almighty and most merciful Father, I am now, as to humanize it seems, about to commemorate for the last time the death of thy Son, Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer. Grant, O Lord, that my whole hope and confidence may be in His merits and thy mercy. Enforce and accept my imperfect repentance. This commemoration available to the confirmation of my faith, the establishment of my hope, and the enlargement of my charity, and make the death of thy Son, Jesus Christ, effectual to my redemption.

Starting point is 03:16:22 Have mercy upon me, and pardon the multitude of my offences. Bless my friends, have mercy upon all men. Support me by thy Holy Spirit, in the days of weakness, and at the hour of death, and receive me at my death to everlasting happiness for the sake of Jesus Christ. Amen. End of Section 21. Section 22 of prayers and meditations by Samuel Johnson. This Librevox recordings in the public domain. The following meditations and prayers have no dates in the manuscript. I did not, this week, labour my preparation so much as I have sometimes done.

Starting point is 03:17:22 My mind was not very quiet, and an anxious preparation makes the duty of the day formidable and burdensome. Different methods suit different states of mind, body and affairs. I rose this day and prayed, then went to tea, and afterwards composed the prayer, which I formed with great fluency. I went to church, came in at the Psalms, could not hear the reader and the lessons, but attended the prayers with tranquility, receiving the sacrament. I profess my faith in Jesus.

Starting point is 03:18:01 I declare my resolution to obey him. I implore in the highest act of worship, grace to keep these resolutions. I hope to rise to a new life this day. On the 17th, Mr. Chameer took me away with him from Stratham. I left the servants a guinea for my health, and was content to escape into a house where my birthday not being known could not be mentioned. I sat up till midnight was passed, and the day of a new year, a very awful day, began.

Starting point is 03:18:39 I prayed to God, who had safely brought me to the beginning of another year, but could not perfectly recollect the prayer and supplied it. Such desertions of memory I have always had. When I rose on the 18th, I think I prayed again, then walked with my friend into his grounds. When I came back, after some time passed in the library, finding myself oppressed by sleepiness, I retired to my chamber, where, by lying down,

Starting point is 03:19:12 and a short imperfect slumber, I was refreshed, and prayed as the night before. I then dined and trifled in the parlour and library, and was freed from a scruple about Horace. At last I went to bed, having first composed a prayer. The 19th, Sunday. I went to church and attended the service. I found at church a time to use my prayer. O Lord have mercy. The 30th of July. Almighty God, creator and governor of the world, who send his sickness and restoresst health, enable me to consider, with a just sense of thy mercy, the deliverance which thou hast lately granted me,

Starting point is 03:20:04 and assist by thy blessing, as is best for me, the means which I shall use for the cure of the disease with which I am now afflicted. Increase by patience, teach me submission to thy will, and so rule my thoughts and direct my actions that I may be finally received everlasting happiness through Jesus Christ our Lord Amen

Starting point is 03:20:28 On the study of religion Almighty God Our heavenly Father Without whose help labour is useless Without whose light search is vain Invigorate my studies And direct my inquiries that I may, by due diligence and right discernment,

Starting point is 03:20:54 establish myself and others in thy holy faith. Take not, O Lord, thy Holy Spirit from me. Let not evil thoughts have dominion in my mind. Let not me linger in ignorance, but enlighten and support me, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. O Lord God,

Starting point is 03:21:20 in whose hands are the wills and effect of men, kindle in my mind holy desires, and repress sinful and corrupt imaginations. Enable me to love thy commandments and to desire thy promises. Let me, by thy protection and influence, so pass through things temporal, as finally not to lose the things eternal. And among the hopes and fears, the pleasures and sorrows, the dangers and deliverances, and all the changes of this life. Let my heart be surely fixed by the help of thy Holy Spirit

Starting point is 03:21:57 on the everlasting fruition of thy presence, where true joys are to be found. Grant, O Lord, these petitions. Forgive, O merciful Lord, whatever I have done contrary to thy laws. Give me such a sense of my wickedness as may produce true contrition and effectual repentance. so that when I shall be called into another state, I may be received among the sinners to whom sorrow and reformation have attained pardon for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen.

Starting point is 03:22:36 Almighty and most merciful Father, whose clemency I now presume to implore, after a long life of carelessness and wickedness, have mercy upon me. I have committed many trespasses. many duties. I have done what thou hast forbidden and left undone what thou hast commanded. Forgive, merciful Lord, my sins, negligences and ignorances, and enable me by thy Holy Spirit to amend my life according to thy Holy Word for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen. O merciful God, full of compassion, long suffering and of great pity, who spareest when we deserve punishment, and in thy wrath thinkest upon mercy,

Starting point is 03:23:34 make me earnestly to repent, and heartily to be sorry for all my misdoings, make the remembrance so burdensome and painful that I may flee to thee with a troubled spirit and a contrite heart. And, O merciful Lord, visit, comfort, and relieve me, cast me not out from thy presence, and take not thy Holy Spirit from me, but excite in me true repentance. Give me in this world knowledge of thy truth and confidence in thy mercy, and in the world to come everlasting, for the sake of our Lord and Savior,

Starting point is 03:24:13 thy son, Jesus Christ. Amen. Ejaculation, imploring diligence. O God, make me to remember that the night cometh when no man can work. End of Section 22. End of prayers and meditation by Samuel Johnson.

Classic Audiobook Collection - Prayers and Meditations by Samuel Johnson ~ Full Audiobook [religion]

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