Classic Audiobook Collection - The White Peacock by D. H. Lawrence ~ Full Audiobook [drama]

Episode Date: January 4, 2023

The White Peacock by D. H. Lawrence audiobook. Genre: drama Set in the English countryside at the turn of the 20th century, The White Peacock follows two young friends, Cyril Beardsall and George Sax...ton, as they drift from boyhood ease into the complicated moral weather of adulthood. Cyril, sensitive and observant, records the rhythms of farms, lanes, and village gatherings with a poet's eye, but his quiet perspective is tested when he becomes entangled in the desires and disappointments of the people closest to him. At the center is Lettie, spirited and ambitious, pulled between the security of respectability and the magnetic unpredictability of others who promise a different kind of life. As courtship, class expectations, and financial pressures tighten their grip, friendship frays and private longings spill into public consequence. D. H. Lawrence's debut novel is both a love story and a portrait of a changing rural world, where beauty and brutality sit side by side and where the characters must confront what they truly want - and what it may cost them. Lyrical, earthy, and psychologically sharp, it explores passion, jealousy, and the struggle to find meaning in ordinary lives. For ad-free listening try our premium subscription Chapters (Approximate) (00:00:00) Chapter 01 (00:22:32) Chapter 02 (00:44:20) Chapter 03 (01:10:51) Chapter 04 (01:40:29) Chapter 05 (02:11:12) Chapter 06 (02:52:50) Chapter 07 (03:34:17) Chapter 08 (04:01:15) Chapter 09 (04:47:01) Chapter 10 (05:37:39) Chapter 11 (06:12:20) Chapter 12 (06:52:51) Chapter 13 (07:23:57) Chapter 14 (07:40:36) Chapter 15 (07:56:53) Chapter 16 (08:29:04) Chapter 17 (08:48:21) Chapter 18 (09:10:35) Chapter 19 (09:41:58) Chapter 20 (10:00:23) Chapter 21 (10:27:22) Chapter 22 (10:52:29) Chapter 23 (11:20:46) Chapter 24 (11:57:44) Chapter 25 (12:18:46) Chapter 26 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 the white peacock by d h lawrence part one chapter one the people of nethermeer i stood watching the shadowy fish slide through the gloom of the mill-pond they were grey descendants of the silvery things that had darted away from the monks in the young days when the valley was lusty the whole place was gathered in the musing of old age the thick-piled trees on the far shore were too dark and sober to dally with the sun The weeds stood, crowded and motionless. Not even a little wind flickered the willows of the islets. The water lay softly, intensely still. Only the thin stream falling through the mill-race murmured to itself of the tumult of life which at once quickened the valley. I was almost startled into the water from my perch on the orle-roots
Starting point is 00:00:54 by a voice saying, Well, what is there to look at? my friend was a young farmer stoutly built, brown-eyed, with a naturally fair skin burned dark and freckled in patches. He laughed, seeing me start, and looked down at me with lazy curiosity. I was thinking the place seemed old, brooding over its past. He looked at me with a lazy, indulgent smile, and lay down on his back on the bank, saying, It's all right for a doss, here. "'Your life is nothing else but a doss. I shall laugh when someone jerks you awake,' I replied.
Starting point is 00:01:33 He smiled comfortably and put his hands over his eyes because of the light. "'Why should you laugh?' he drawled. "'Because you'll be amusing,' said I. We were silent for a long time, when he rolled over and began to poke with his finger in the bank. "'I thought,' he said in his leisurely fashion, there was some call. for all this buzzing? I looked, and saw that he had poked out an old papery nest of those pretty field-bees which seemed to have dipped their tails into bright amber dust. Some agitated insects ran round with the cluster of eggs, most of which were empty now, the crowns
Starting point is 00:02:13 gone. A few young bees staggered about in uncertain flight, before they could gather power to wing away in a strong course. He watched the little ones that ran in and out among the shadows of the grass hither and thither in consternation. Come here, come here, he said, imprisoning one poor little bee under a grass stalk, or with another stalk he loosened the folded blue wings. Don't tease the little beggar, I said. He doesn't hurt him.
Starting point is 00:02:42 I wanted to see if it was because he couldn't spread his wings and he couldn't fly. There he goes. No, he doesn't. Let's try another. Leave them alone, said I. Let them run in the sun. they're only just out of the shells.
Starting point is 00:02:55 Don't torment them into flight. He persisted, however, and broke the wing of the next. Oh dear, pity, said he, and he crushed the little thing between his fingers. Then he examined the eggs and pulled out some silk from round the dead lava, and investigated it all in a desultry manner, asking of me all I knew about the insects. When he had finished, he flung the clustered eggs into the water and rose,
Starting point is 00:03:23 pulling out his watch from the depth of his breeches pocket. I thought it was about dinner-time, said he, smiling at me. I always know when it's about twelve. Are you coming in? I'm coming down at any rate, said I, as we passed along the pond bank, and over the plank bridge that crossed the brow with the falling sluice. The bankside, where the grey orchard twisted its trees, was a steep declivity, long and sharp, dropping down to the garden.
Starting point is 00:03:53 The stones of the large house were burdened with ivy and honeysuckle, and the great lilac bush that had once guarded the porch now almost blocked the doorway. We passed out of the front garden into the farm yard and walked along the brick path to the back door. Shut the gate, will you? he said to me over his shoulder as he passed on first. We went through the large scullery into the kitchen. The servant girl was just hurriedly snatching the tablecloth out of the table drawer, and his mother, a quaint little woman with big brown eyes, was hovering round the wide fireplace with a fork. Dinner not ready, said he with a shade of resentments.
Starting point is 00:04:33 No, George, replied to his mother apologetically. It isn't. The fire wouldn't burn a bit. You should have it in a few minutes, though. He dropped on the sofa and began to read a novel. I wanted to go, but his mother insisted on my staying. Don't go, she pleaded. Emily would be so glad if you stay, and father will, I'm sure. Sit down now. I sat down on a rushed chair by the long window that looked out into the yard. As he was reading, and as it took all his mother's paths to watch the potatoes boil and the meat roast, I was left to my thoughts. George, indifferent to all claims, continued to read. It was very annoying to watch him pulling his brown moustache and reading indignantly, while the dog rubbed against his leggings and against the knee of his old riding-britchie. He would not even be at the trouble to play with Tripp's ears, he was so content with his novel and his moustache. Round and round twirled his thick fingers, and the muscles of his bare arm moved slightly under the red-brown skin.
Starting point is 00:05:38 The little square window above him filtered a green light from the foliage of the great horse chestnut outside, and the glimmer fell on his dark hair, and trembled across the plates which Annie was reaching down from the rack, and across the face of the tall clock. The kitchen was very big. The table looked lonely, and the chairs mourned darkly for the lost companionship of the sofa. The chimney was a black cavern away at the back, and the Ingle-nook seats shut in another little compartment,
Starting point is 00:06:08 ruddy with firelight, where the mother hovered. It was rather a desolate kitchen, such a bare expanse of uneven grey flagstone, such far-away dark corners and sober furniture. The only gay things were the chint's coverings of the sofa and the armchair cushions bright red in the bare sombre room. Some might smile at the old clock, adorned as it was with remarkable and vivid poultry. In me it only provoked wonder and contemplation. In a little while he heard the scraping of heavy boots outside, and the father entered.
Starting point is 00:06:44 He was a big burly farmer with his half-balt head sprinkled with crisp little curls. "'Hello, Cyril,' he said cheerfully. "'You've not forsaken us then,' and turned he to his son. "'Have you many more rows on the cop is close?' "'Finished,' replied George, continuing to read. "'That's all right. You've got on with them. "'The rabbits have bitten them turnips down, mother.' "'I expect so,' replied his wife, whose soul was in the saucepence.
Starting point is 00:07:12 At last she deemed the potatoes cooked and went out with the steaming pan. The dinner was set on the table and the father began to carve. George looked over his book to survey the fair, then read until his plate was handed to him. The maid sat at her little table near the window, and we began the meal. There came the treading of four feet along the brick path and a little girl entered, followed by her grown-up sister. The child's long brown hair was tossed wildly back beneath her sailor hat. She flung her side this article of her attire, and sat down. sat down to dinner, talking endlessly to her mother.
Starting point is 00:07:50 The eldest Esther, a girl of about twenty-one, gave me a smile and a bright look from her brown eyes, and went to wash her hands. Then she came and sat down, and looked disconsoluntly at the underdone beef on her plate. I do hate this raw meat, she said. Good for you, replied her brother, who was eating industriously. Give you some muscle to wallop the nippers. She pushed aside and began to eat the vegetables. Her brother recharged his plate and continued to eat.
Starting point is 00:08:23 Well, Aunt George, I do think you might pass a body that gravy, said Molly, the younger sister, in injured tones. Certainly, he replied, won't you have the joints as well? No, retorted the young lady of twelve. I don't expect you've done with it yet. Never, he exclaimed across her mouthful. Do you think so? said the elder sister Emily sarcastically. Yes, he replied complacently.
Starting point is 00:08:48 You've made her as sharp as yourself, I see, since you've had her in standard six. I'll try a potato, mother, if you can find one that's done. Oh, George, they seem mixed. I'm sure that was done that I tried. There, they are mixed. Look at this one. It's soft enough. I'm sure they were boiling long enough. Don't explain and apologise to him, said Emily, irritably. Perhaps the kids were too much for her this. morning, he said calmly, to nobody in particular.
Starting point is 00:09:17 No, chimed in Molly. She knocked a lad across his nose and made it bleed. Little wretch, said Emily, swallowing with difficulty. I'm glad I did. Some of my lads belonged to the devil, suggested George, but she would not accept it from him. Her father sat laughing. Her mother with distress in her eyes looked at her daughter, who hung her head and made patterns on the tablecloth with her finger. Are they worse than the last lot? asked the mother softly, fearfully.
Starting point is 00:09:48 No, nothing extra, was the curt answer. She merely felt like bashingham, said George, calling as he looked at the sugar bowl than at his pudding. Fetch some more sugar, Annie! Made rose from her little table in the corner and the mother also hurried to the cupboard.
Starting point is 00:10:05 Emily traffled with her dinner and said bitterly to him, I only wish you would have a taste of teaching. It would cure your self-satisfaction. He replied contemptuously. I could easily bleed the noses of a handful of kids. You wouldn't sit there bleating like a fatten calf, she continued. The speech so tickled Molly that she went off into a burst of laughter,
Starting point is 00:10:29 much to the terror of her mother, who stood up in trembling apprehension, unless she should choke. You made a joke, Emily, he said. looking at his younger sister's contortions. Emily was too impatient to speak to him further, and left the table. Soon the two men went back to the fallow to the turnips, and I walked along the path with the girls
Starting point is 00:10:51 as they were going to school. He irritates me in everything he does and says, burst out Emily with much heat. He's a pig sometimes, said I. He is, she insisted. He irritates me past bearing with his grand, no-all way and his heavy smartness. I can't beat it.
Starting point is 00:11:10 and the way mother humbles herself to him. It makes you wild, said I. Wild, she echoed, her voice vibrating with nervous passion. We walked on in silence, till she asked, Have you brought me those verses of yours? No, I'm so sorry, I've forgotten them again. As a matter of fact, I've sent them away. But you promise me?
Starting point is 00:11:33 You know what my promises are. I'm as irresponsible as a puff of wind. She frowned with impatience, and her disappointment was great to. than necessary. When I left her at the corner of the lane I felt a sting of her deep reproach in my mind. I always felt the reproach when she had gone. I ran over the little bright brook that came from the weedy bottom pond. The stepping-stones were white in the sun, and the water slid sleepily among them. One or two butterflies, indistinguishable against the blue sky, trifled from
Starting point is 00:12:07 flower to flower, and led me up the hill, across the field where the hot sunshine stood as in a bowl, and i was entering the caverns of the wood where the oaks bowed over and saved us a grateful shade within everything was so still and cool that my steps hung heavily along the path the bracken held out arms to me and the bosom of the wood was full of sweetness but i journeyed on spurred by the attacks of an army of flies which kept up a guerrilla warfare round my head till i had passed the black road of dendron bushes in the garden where they left me scenting no doubt Rebecca's pots of vinegar and sugar. The low red house, with its roof discoloured and sunken, dozed in sunlight, and slept profoundly in the shade thrown by the massive maples encroaching from the wood.
Starting point is 00:12:58 There was no one in the dining room, but I could hear the word of a sewing machine coming from the little study, a sound as of some great vindictive insect buzzing about, now louder, now softer, now settling. Then came a jingle of four or five keys at the bottom of the keyboard of the drawing-room piano, continuing till the whole range had been covered in little leaps, as if some very fat frog had jumped from end to end.
Starting point is 00:13:25 I must be mother dusting the drawing-room, I thought. The unaccustomed sound of the old piano startled me. The vocal cords behind the green silk bosom, he only discovered it was not a bronze silk bosom by poking a fold aside, had become as thin and tuneless as a dried old woman's. age had yellowed the teeth of my mother's little piano and shrunken its spindle legs poor old thing he could but screech in answer to let his fingers flying across it in scorn so the prim brown lips were always closed save to admit the duster now however the little old maidish piano began to sing a tinkling victorian melody and i fancied it must be some demure little woman with curls like bunches of hops on either side of her face who was touching it the coy little tune teased me with old sensations but my memory would give me no assistance as i stood trying to fix my vague feelings rebecca came in to remove the cloths from the table "'Who is playing, Beck?' I asked.
Starting point is 00:14:32 "'Your mother, Cyril.' "'But she never plays. I thought she couldn't.' "'Ah,' replied Rebecca, "'you forget when you was a little thing sitting playing against her frock with the prayer-book and she's singing to you. "'You can't remember her when her curls was long like a piece of brown silk. "'You can't remember her when she used to play and sing before Lettie came and your father was—' Rebecca turned and left the room. "'I went and peaked in the drawing-room.
Starting point is 00:15:00 Mother sat before the little brown piano, with her plump, rather stiff fingers moving across the keys, a faint smile on her lips. That moment Lettie came flying past me and flung her arms round Mother's neck, kissing her and saying, Oh my dear, fancy my dear playing the piano. Old little woman, we never knew you could. Nor can I, replied Mother, laughing, disengaging herself. I only wondered if I could just strum out this old tune. I learned it when I was quite a girl on this. this piano. It was a cracked one, then, the only one I had. "'But play again, dearie, do play again. It was like the clinking of luster glasses,
Starting point is 00:15:39 and you look so quaint at the piano. Do play, my dear,' pleaded Letty. "'Hey,' said my mother, "'the touch of the old keys on my fingers is making me sentimental. You would like to see me reduced to the tears of old age.' "'Old age?' scoled Lettie, kissing her again. "'You're young enough to play little romances. Tell us about it. mother? About what child? When you used to play? All my fingers were stiff with fifty odd years. Where have you been, Cyril, that you weren't into dinner?
Starting point is 00:16:12 Only down to Australia Mill, said I. Of course, said Mother coldly. Why, of course, I asked. And you came away as soon as Em went to school, said Litty. I did, said I. They were cross with me these two women. after i have swallowed my little resentment i said they would have me stay to dinner my mother vied safe near reply but has the great george found a girl yet asked letty no i replied he never will of this rate nobody will ever be good enough for him i'm sure i don't know what you can find in any of them to take you there so much said my mother don't be so mean mater i answered nettled you know i like them i know you like her said my mother sarcastically as for him he's an unlicked cub what can you expect what his mother has spoiled him as she has but i wonder you are so interested in licking him mother sniffed contemptuously he is rather good-looking said letty with a smile you can make him mad of him i am sure i said barring satirically to her i am not interested he replied also was satirical.
Starting point is 00:17:31 Then she tossed her head, and all the fine hairs that were free from bonds made a mist of yellow light and the sun. What frock shall I wear, mate her? she asked. No, don't ask me, replied her mother. I think I'll wear the heliotrope, though this sun will fade it, she said pensively. She was tall, nearly six feet in height, but slenderly formed. Her hair was yellow, tended towards a dun brown. She had beautiful eyes and brows, but not a nice nose.
Starting point is 00:18:03 Her hands were very beautiful. Where are you going? I asked. She did not answer me. To tempests, I said. She did not reply. Well, I don't know what you can see in him, I continued. Indeed, said she, he's as good as most folk. We both began to laugh.
Starting point is 00:18:24 Not, she continued blushing, that I think anything about him, I'm merely going for a game of tennis. Are you coming?" "'What should you say if I agree?' I asked. "'Oh!' she tossed her head. "'We shall all be very pleased, I'm sure.' "'Oray!' said I with fine irony. She laughed at me, blushed, and ran upstairs.
Starting point is 00:18:47 Half an hour afterwards she popped her head in the study to bid me goodbye, wishing to see if I appreciated her. She was so charming in her fresh linen frock and flowered hat that I could not but be proud of her. She expected me to follow her to the window, or from between the great purple rhododendrons she waved me and lay smitten, then glinted on like a flower
Starting point is 00:19:10 moving brightly through the green hazels. Her path lay through the wood in the opposite direction from Strelia Mill, down the red drive across the tree scatters pace to the high road. This road ran along the end of our late Lids, Nethermear, for about a quarter of a mile, nethermere is the lowest in a chain of three ponds the other two are the upper and lower millponds at strelli this is the largest and most charming piece of water a mile long and about a quarter of a mile in width
Starting point is 00:19:42 our wood runs down to the water's edge on the opposite side on a hill beyond the farthest corner of the lake stands high close it looks across the water at us in woodside with one eye as it were while our cottage casts a sidelong glance back again at the proud house and peeps coily through the trees. I could see Lettie like a distant sails steering along the water's edge, her pats all flowing above. She turned through the wicket under the pine clump, climbed at the steep field, and was enfolded again in the trees beside high close. Leslie was sprawled on a camp-chair under a copper beach on the lawn, his cigar glowing. He watched the ash grow strange and grey in the warm daylight, and he felt sorry for poor Nell, witchily, whom we have driven that morning to the station.
Starting point is 00:20:36 Would she not be frightfully cut up, as the train whirled her further and further away? These girls are so daft with a fellow. But she was a nice little thing. He'd get Marie to write to her. At this point he caught sight of a parasol fluttering along the drive, and immediately he fell into a deep sleep. with just a tiny slit in his slumber to allow him to see Letty approach.
Starting point is 00:21:02 She, finding her watchman ungallantly asleep, and his cigar instead of his lamp untrimmed, broke off a twig of syringa, whose ivory buds are not yet burst with luscious scent. I know not how the end of his nose tickled in anticipation before she tickled him in reality, but he kept bravely still until the petal swept him. Then, starting from his sleep, he exclaimed,
Starting point is 00:21:26 Lettie, I was dreaming of kisses. Of the bridge of your nose, laughed she, but whose were the kisses? Who produced the sensation? He smiled. Since I only tapped your nose, you should dream of, Go on, said he expectantly. I've dropped to slop, she replied,
Starting point is 00:21:46 Smided to herself as she closed her parasol. I do not know the gentleman, he said, afraid that she was laughing at him. No, your nose is quite classic. she answered, giving him one of those brief, intimate glances with which women flatter men so cleverly. He radiated with pleasure. End of Part 1, Chapter 1. Part 1, Chapter 2 of The White Peacock by D.H. Lawrence.
Starting point is 00:22:21 This Librivox's recording is in the public domain. Recording by Simon Overs. Part 1, Chapter 2, Dangling the Apple. The long-drawn booming of the wind in the wood, and the sobbing and moaning in the maples and oaks near the house, had made Lettie restless. She did not want to go anywhere. She did not want to do anything. So she insisted on my just going out with her as far as the edge of the water. We crossed the tangle of fern and bracken, bramble and wild raspberry canes that spread in the open base before the house, and we went down the grassy slope to the edge of nether. the wind whipped up noisy little wavelets the cluck and clatter of these among the pebbles the swish of the rushes and the freshening of the breeze against our faces roused us the tall meadow-sweet was in bud along the tiny beach and we walked knee-deep among it watching the foamy race of the ripples and the whitening of the willows on the far shore at the place where nethermere narrows to the upper end and receives the brook from strelli the wood sweeps down and stands
Starting point is 00:23:30 stands with its feet washed round with waters. We broke our way along the shore, crushing the sharp-scented wild mint, whose odour checks the breath, and examining here and there among the marshy places, ragged nests of waterfowl now deserted. Some slim young lapwings started at our approach and sped lightly from us, their necks outstretched in straining fear of that which could not hurt them. One, two, fled cheeping into cover of the wood, and, and, and almost instantly they coursed back again to where we stood to dart off from us at a angle in ecstasy of bewilderment and terror what has frightened the crazy little things asked letty i don't know they've cheek enough sometimes then they go whining scalping off from a fancy as if they had a snake under their wings letty however paid small attention to my eloquence she pushed aside an elder bush which graciously shied down upon her midiared crumbs from its flowers like slices of bread and bathed her in a medicinal scent.
Starting point is 00:24:36 I followed her, taking my dose, and was startled to hear her sudden, Oh, Cyril! On the bank before us lay a black cat, both hind paws torn and bloody in a trap. It had no doubt been bounding forward after its prey when it was caught. It was gaunt and wild, no wonder it frightened of the poor lapwings into heaping hysteria. It glared at us fiercely growling low. How cruel! Oh, how cruel! cried Lettie, shuddering. I wrapped my cap and let his scarf over my hands and bent it to open the trap.
Starting point is 00:25:12 The cat struck with her teeth, tearing the cloth convulsively. When it was free, it sprang away with one bound and fell panting, watching us. I wrapped the creature in my jacket and picked her up, murmuring. Poor Mrs. Nicky Benn! We always prophesied it. of you. What would you do with it? asked Letty. It is one of the Australian mill cats, said I, and so I'll take her home. Poor animal moved and murmured, and I carried her, but we brought her home. They stared on seeing me enter the kitchen, coatless, carrying a strange bundle,
Starting point is 00:25:47 while Lettie followed me. I've brought poor Mrs. Nicky Benn, said I, unfolding my burden. Oh, what a shame, cried Emily, putting out her hand to touch the cat. but drawing him quickly back like the pee-wits this is how they all go said the mother i wish keepers had to sit two or three days with their bare ankles in a trap said molly in a vindictive tone we laid the poor brute on the rug and gave it warm milk it drank very little being too feeble molly full of anger pledged mr nicky ben another fine black cat to survey his crippled mate mr nicky then looked shrugged his sleek shoulders and walked away with high steps there was a general feminine outcry on masculine callousness george came in for hot water he exclaimed a surprise on seeing us and his eyes became animated look at mrs nicky ben cried molly he dropped on his knees on the rug and lifted the wounded paws broken said he how awful said emily shuddering violently and leaving the room both i asked only one look you're hurting her cried letty it's no good said he molly and the mother hurried out of the kitchen into the parlour what are you going to do asked letty put her out of our misery he replied taking up the poor cat we followed him into the barn the quickest way said he is to swing around and knock her head against the wall you make me sick exclaimed letty i'll drown her then he said with a smile
Starting point is 00:27:28 we watched him morbidly as he took a length of twine and fastened a noose round the animal's neck and near it an iron goose he kept a long piece of cord attached to the goose you're not coming are you said he letty looked at him she had grown rather white it'll make you sick he said she did not answer but followed him across the yards to the garden on the bank of the lower mill-pont he turned again to us and said now for it you are chief mourners as neither of us replied he smiled and dropped the poor writhing cat into the water saying good-bye mrs nicky ben we waited on the bank some time he eyed us curiously cyril said letty quietly isn't it cruel isn't it awful i had nothing to say do you mean me asked george not you in particular everything if we move the blood rises in our heel-prince he looked at her seriously with dark eyes i had to drown her out of mercy said he fasting the cord he held to an ash-pull then he went to get a spade and with it he dug a grave in the old black earth if said he the poor old cat had made a prettier corpse you'd have thrown violence on her it struck the spade into the ground and hauled up the cat and the iron goose well he said surveying the hideous object haven't her good looks gone She was a fine cat. Burry it and have done,
Starting point is 00:29:00 let him reply. He did so, asking, shall you have bad dreams after it? Dreams do not trouble me, she answered, turning away. We went indoors into the parlour where Emily sat by a window, biting her finger. The room was long and not very high. There was a great rough beam across the ceiling. On the mantelpiece, and in the fireplace, and over the piano,
Starting point is 00:29:24 were wild flowers and fresh leaves plentifully scattered. The room was cool with the scent of the woods. "'Is he done it?' asked Emily. "'And did you watch him? If I had seen it, I should have hated the sight of him, and I'd rather have touched a maggot than him.' "'I shouldn't be particularly pleased if he touched me,' said Letty. "'It was something so loathsome about callousness and brutality,' said Emily.
Starting point is 00:29:49 "'He fills me with disgust.' "'Does he?' said Lettie, smiling. coldly. She went across to the old piano. He's only healthy, he's never been sick, not anywhere yet. She sat down and played at random, letting the numbed notes fall like dead leaves from the haughty ancient piano. Emily and I talked on by the window about books and people. She was intensely serious and generally succeeded in reducing me to the same state. After a while, when the milking and feeding were finished, George came to. in. Letty was still playing the piano. He asked her why she didn't play something with a tune in it,
Starting point is 00:30:31 and this caused her to turn round in her chair to give him a withering answer. His appearance, however, scattered her words like startled birds. He come straight from washing in the scullery to the parlour, and he stood behind Lettie's chair unconcernedly wiping the moisture from his arms. His sleeves were rolled up to the shoulder, and his shirt was opened wide of the breast. Lettie was somewhat taken aback by the sight of him standing with legs apart, dressed in dirty leggings and boots and breeches tall at the knee, naked at the breast and arms. Why don't you play something with a tune in it? he repeated,
Starting point is 00:31:07 rubbing the towel over his shoulders beneath the shirt. The tune, she echoed, watching the swelling of his arms as he moved them, and the rise and fall of his breasts, wonderfully solid and white. Then, having curiously examined the sudden meeting of the sun-hot skin with the white flesh in his throat. Her eyes met his, and she turned again to the piano, while the colour grew in her ears, mercifully sheltered by a profusion of bright curls.
Starting point is 00:31:36 "'What shall I play?' she asked, fingering the keys somewhat confusedly. He dragged out a book of songs from one little heap of music and set it before her. "'Which do you want to sing?' she asked, thrilling a little as she felt his arms so near her. anything you like a love-song she said if you like yes a love-song he laughed with clumsy insinuation that made the girl writhe she did not answer but began to play sullivan's titwillow he had a passable bass voice not of any great depth and he sang with gusto then she gave him drink to me only with thine eyes at the end she turned and asked him if you liked the words he replied that he thought them rather daft but he looked at her with glowing brown eyes as if in hesitating challenge that's because you have no wine in your eyes to pledge with she replied answering his challenge with a blue blaze of her eyes then her eyelashes drooped on to her cheek he laughed with a faint ring of consciousness and asked her how could she know because she said slowly looking up at him with pretended scorn because there's no change in your eyes when i look at you i always think people who are worth much talk with their eyes that's why you are forced to respect many quite uneducated people their eyes are so eloquent and full of knowledge
Starting point is 00:33:05 he had continued to look at him as she spoke watching his faint appreciation of her upturned face and her hair where the light was always tangled watching his brief self-examination to see if he could feel any truth in her words watching till he broke into a little laugh which was rather more awkward and less satisfied than usual then she turned away smiling also there's nothing in this book nice to sing she said turning over the leaves discontentedly i found her a volume and she sang should he upbraid she had a fine soprano voice and the song delighted him he moved nearer to her and when at the finish she looked round with a flashing mischievous air she found him pledging her with wonderful eyes you like that said she with the air of superior knowledge as if dear me all one had to do was turn over to the right page of the vast volume of one soul to suit these people "'I do,' he answered emphatically, thus acknowledging her triumph. "'I'd rather dance and sing round wrinkled care than carefully shut the door on him while I slept in the chimney, wouldn't you?' she asked. He laughed, and began to consider what she meant before he replied. "'As you do,' she added.
Starting point is 00:34:26 "'What?' he asked. "'Keep half your senses asleep, half alive.' "'Do I?' he asked. "'Of course you do. boss, bovis and ox. You are like a stalled ox, food and comfort, no more. Don't you love comfort? She smiled.
Starting point is 00:34:42 Don't you? He replied, smiling, shamefaced. Of course. Come and turn over of me while I play this piece. Well, I'll nod when you must turn. Bring a chair. She began to play a romance of Schubert's. He leaned nearer to her to take hold of the leaf of music.
Starting point is 00:35:00 She felt her loose hair touch his face and turned to him a quick laughing glance while she played. At the end of the page she nodded, but he was oblivious. Yes, she said suddenly impatient, and he tried to get the leaf over. She quickly pushed his hand aside, turned the page herself and continue playing. Sorry, said he, blushing actually. Don't bother, she said, continuing to play without observing him. When she'd finished,
Starting point is 00:35:28 there, she said, now tell me how you felt while I was playing. Oh, a fool, he replied, covered with confusion. I'm glad to hear it, she said, but I didn't mean that. I meant, how did the music make you feel? I don't know whether it made me feel anything, he replied deliberately, pondering over his answer as usual. I tell you, she declared, you're either asleep or stupid. Did you really see nothing in the music? But what did you think about?
Starting point is 00:36:00 He laughed and thought a while and laughed again. Why? he admitted laughing and trying to tell the exact truth. I thought how pretty your hands are and what they are like to touch, and I thought it was a new experience to feel somebody's hair tickling my cheek. When he had finished his deliberate account, she gave his hand a little knock and left him, saying, You were worse and worse. She came across the room to the couch where I was sitting, talking to E.
Starting point is 00:36:31 Emily and put her arm round my neck. Isn't it time to go home, Pat? she asked. Half past eight, quite early, said I. But I believe I think I ought to be home now, she said. Don't go, said he. Why, I asked. Stay to supper, urged Emily. But I believe, she hesitated.
Starting point is 00:36:55 She has another fish to fry, I said. I'm not sure, she hesitated again. Then she flashed at a sudden wrath, exclaiming, "'Don't be so mean and nasty Cyril!' "'Were you going somewhere?' asked George Humbly. "'Why, no,' she said, blushing. "'Then stay to supper, will you?' he begged. She laughed and yielded.
Starting point is 00:37:19 He went into the kitchen. Mr. Saxon was sitting reading. Trip, the big bull-terrier, lay at his feet, pretending to sleep. Mr. Nicky Ben reposed calmly on the sofa. Mrs. Saxton and Molly were just going to bed. We both had good night and sat down. Annie, the servant, had gone home, Sir Emily prepared the supper.
Starting point is 00:37:40 Nobody can touch that piano like you, said Mr. Saxton to Letty, beaming upon her with admiration and deference. He was proud of the stately, mumbling old thing, I used to say that it was full of music for those that liked to ask for it. Letty laughed, and said that so few folks ever tried it. that her honour was not great what do you think of our george's singing ha ha asked the father proudly but with a deprecating laugh at the end i tell him when he's in love you'll sing quite well she said
Starting point is 00:38:13 when he's in love echoed the father laughing aloud very pleased yes she said when he finds out something he wants and can't have jort thought about it and he laughed also emily who was laying the table said there's hardly any water in the pears slip in, George. Oh dash, he exclaimed I've taken my boots off. It's not a very big job to put them on again, said his sister. Why couldn't Annie fetch you? What's she here for? he said angrily. Emily looked at us, tossed her head and turned her back on him. I'll go, I'll go after supper, said the father in a comforting tone. After supper? laughed Emily. George got up and shuffled out. He had to go into the spinny near the house to a well,
Starting point is 00:39:00 and being warm disliked turning out we just sat down to supper when trip rushed barking to the door be quiet ordered the father thinking of those in bed and he followed the dog it was leslie he wanted letty to go home with him at once this she refused to do so he came indoors and was persuaded to sit down at table he swallowed a morsel of bread and cheese and a cup of coffee talking to letty of a garden party which was going to be arranged at high close for the following week. What is it for, then? Interrupted Mr. Saxton. For? echoed Leslie. Is it for the missionaries or the unemployed or something? explained Mr. Saxton. It's a garden party, not a bizarre, said Leslie. Oh, a private affair. I thought it would be some church matter of your mother's. She's very big at the church, isn't she? She is interested in the church, yes, said Leslie, and proceeded to explain to Lettie that he was arranging a tennis tournament in which she was to take part. At this point he became aware that he was monopolising
Starting point is 00:40:05 the conversation and turned to George, just as the latter was taking a piece of cheese from his knife with his teeth, asking, do you play tennis, Mr. Saxon? I know Miss Saxon does not. No, said George, working the piece of cheese into his cheek. I never learned any ladies' accompaniments. Leslie turned to Emily, who had nervously been pushing two plates over a stain in the cloth, and he was very startled when she found herself addressed. My mother would be so glad if you would come to the party, Miss Saxton. I cannot, I shall be at school, thanks very much. Ah, it's very good of you, said the father, beaming.
Starting point is 00:40:45 George smiled contemptuously. When supper was over, Leslie looked at Lettie to inform her that he was ready to go. She, however, refused to see his look, but talked brightly to Mr. Saxon, who was delighted. George, flattered, joined in the talk with gusto. Then Leslie's angry silence began to tell on us all. After a dull lapse, George lifted his head and said to his father, Oh, I should be surprised at that little red heifer carved tonight. Let his eyes flashed with a spark of amusement at this thrust.
Starting point is 00:41:19 No, I said to the father, I thought so myself. from a moment's silence george continued deliberately i felt her gristols george said emily we will go said leslie george looked up sideways at letty and his black eyes were full of sardonic mischief let me a shawl when you emily said letty i brought nothing and i think the wind is cold emily however regretted that she had no shawl and so lady must needs wear a black coat over her summer dress if it is absurd that we all laughed, but Leslie was very angry that she should appear ludicrous before them. He showed her all the polite attentions possible, fastened the neck of her coat with his pearl's scarf pin, refusing the pin Emily discovered after some search. Then we sallied forth. When we were outside, he offered Lettie his arm with an air of injured dignity. She refused it, and he began to remonstrate. I considered you ought to have been home as you promised.
Starting point is 00:42:20 "'Part from me,' she replied, "'but I did not promise.' "'But you knew I was coming,' he said he. "'Well, you found me,' she retorted. "'Yes,' he assented. "'I did find you, flirting with a common fellow,' he sneered. "'Well,' she returned. "'He did, it is true.
Starting point is 00:42:38 "'Call a heifer a heifer.' "'And I should think you liked it,' he said. "'I didn't mind,' she said, with galling negligence. "'I thought your taste was more refined,' he replied, sarcastically, but I suppose you thought it romantic. Very ruddy, dark and really thrilling eyes, said she. I hate to hear a girl talk rot, said Leslie. He himself had crisp hair of the ginger class.
Starting point is 00:43:06 But I mean it, she insisted, aggravating his anger. Leslie was angry. I'm glad he amuses you. Of course, I'm not hard to please, she said pointedly. Stung to the quick. Then there's some comfort in knowing I don't please you, he said coldly. Oh, but you do. You amuse me also, she said. After that he would not speak, preferring, I suppose, not to amuse her. Letty took my arm and with her disengaged hand held her skirts above the wet grass.
Starting point is 00:43:39 When he had left us at the end of the riding in the wood, Lettie said, What an infant he is! A bit of an ass, I admitted. But really, she said, he's more agreeable on the whole than, than my torus. Your pool, I repeated, laughing. End of Part 1, Chapter 2. Part 1, Chapter 3 of The White Peacock by D.H. Lawrence. This Librevox recording is in the public domain.
Starting point is 00:44:12 According by Simon Evers. Part 1, Chapter 3, A Vendor of Visions. The Sunday following Lettie's visit to the mill, Leslie came up in the morning, admirably dressed. and perfected by a grand air. I showed him into the dark drawing-room and left him. Ordinarily he would have wandered to the stairs and sat there calling to Lettie. Today he was silent.
Starting point is 00:44:38 I carried the news of his arrival to my sister, who was pinning on her brooch. And how is the day of boy? she asked. I've not inquired, said I. She laughed and loitered about till it was time to set off for church before she came downstairs. Then she also assumed the grand air and bowed to him with a beautiful bow. He was somewhat taken aback and had nothing to say. She rustled across the room to the window where the white geraniums grew magnificently. I must adore myself, she said.
Starting point is 00:45:12 It was Leslie's custom to bring her flowers. As he had not done so this day, she was piqued. He hated the scent and chalky whiteness of the geraniums. So she smiled at him as she pinned them into the bosom of her dress, saying, They are very fine, are they not? He muttered that they were. Mother came downstairs, greeted him warmly, and asked him if he would take her to church.
Starting point is 00:45:36 If you will allow me, said he. You are modest to-day, laughed Mother. Today, he repeated. I hate modesty in a young man, said Mother. Come, we shall be late. Let he wore the geraniums all day, till he even. evening. She brought Alice Gaul home to tea, and bade me bring up Montauro when his farmwork was over. The day had been hot and close. The sun was reddening in the west as we
Starting point is 00:46:04 leaped across the lesser brook. The evening scents began to awake and wander unseen through the still air. An occasional yellow sunbeam would slant through the thick roof of leaves and cling passionately to the orange clusters of mountain ash berries. The trees were silent, drawing together to sleep only a few pink orchids stood palely by the path looking wistfully out at the ranks of red-purple bugle whose last flowers glowing from the top of the bronze column yearned darkly for the sun we sauntered on in silence not breaking the first hush of the woodlands as we drew near home we heard a murmur from among the trees from the lover's seat where a great tree had fallen and remained moths and covered with fragile growth there a crooked bower made a beautiful seat for two antsy being in love and making a row in such a twilight said i as we continued our way but when we came opposite the fallen tree we saw no lovers there but a man sleeping and muttering through his sleep the cap had fallen from his grizzled hair and his head leaned back against a profusion of the little wild geraniums that decorated the dead bower so delicately the man's clothing was good but slovenly and neglected. His face was pale and warm with sickness and dissipation.
Starting point is 00:47:27 As he slept, his grey beard wagged and his loose, unlovely mouth moved in indistinct speech. He was acting over again some part of his life, and his features twitched during the unnatural sleep. He would give a little groan, gruesome to hear, and then talked to some woman. His features twitched as if with pain, and he moaned slightly. The lips opened in a grimace, showing the yellow teeth behind the beard. Then he began again talking in his throat thickly, so that we could only tell part of what he said. It was very unpleasant.
Starting point is 00:48:02 I wonder how we should end it. Suddenly, through the gleam of the twilight haunted woods, came the scream of a rabbit caught by a weasel. A man awoke with a sharp, ah! He looked round in consultation, then sinking down again wearily, said, again. You don't seem to have nice dreams, said George.
Starting point is 00:48:24 The man winced, then, looking at us, said, almost sneering, And who are you? We did not answer, but waited for him to move. He sat still looking at us. So, he said at last wearily, I do dream, I do, I do. He sighed heavily. Then he added sarcastically, were you interested? No, said I.
Starting point is 00:48:49 but you are out of your way surely which road do you want you want me to clear out he said well i said laughing in deprecation i don't mind your dreaming but this is not the way to anywhere where may you be going then he asked i home i replied with dignity you are a bird'sall he queried eyeing me with blugshot eyes i am i replied with more dignity wondering who the fellow could be he sat a few moments looking at me it was getting dark in the wood then he took up an ebony stick with a gold head and rose the stick seemed to catch of my imagination i watched it curiously as we walked with the old man along the path to the gate we went with him into the open road when we reached the clear sky where the light from the west fell full on our faces he turned again and looked at us closely his mouth opened sharply as if he would speak but he stood stopped himself and only said, Goodbye, good-bye, good-bye. Shall you be all right? I asked, seeing him, Totter. Yes, all right. Goodbye, lad.
Starting point is 00:50:00 He walked away feebly into the darkness. We saw the lights of a vehicle on the high road. After a while, we heard the bang of a door, and a cab rattled away. Well, whoever's he? said George, laughing. You know, said I, it's made me feel a bit rotten. "'Hi,' he laughed, turning up the end of the exclamation with indulgent surprise. We went back home, deciding to say nothing to the women.
Starting point is 00:50:27 They were sitting in the window-seat watching for us, Mother and Alice and Letty. "'You have been a long time,' said Lettie. "'We've watched the sun go down. It's set splendidly. "'Look, the room of the hill is smouldering yet. "'What have you been doing?' "'Waiting till your taurus finished work.' "'Now be quiet,' she said hastily, and, turning to him,
Starting point is 00:50:49 You've come to sing hymns? Anything you like, he replied. How nice of you, George, exclaimed Alice ironically. She was a short plump girl, pale with daring, rebellious eyes. Her mother was a wild, a family famous either for shocking lawlessness or for extreme uprightness. Alice, with an admirable father
Starting point is 00:51:11 and a mother who loved her husband passionately, was wild and lawless on the surface, but at heart very upright and amenable. My mother and she were fast friends, and Lettie had a good deal of sympathy with her. But Lettie generally deplored Alice's outrageous behaviour, though she relished it, if superior friends were not present.
Starting point is 00:51:33 Most men enjoyed Alice in company, but they fought shy of being alone with her. Would you say the same to me? she asked. It depends what you'd answer, he said laughingly. How you're so bloomin. cautious. I'd rather have a tack in my shoe than a cautious man, wouldn't you, Lettie? Well, it depends how far I had to walk, was Lettie's reply. But if I hadn't to limp too far... Alice turned away from Lettie, whom she often found rather irritating.
Starting point is 00:52:03 You do look glum, Sybil, she said to me. Did somebody want to kiss you? I laughed, on the wrong side, understanding her malicious feminine reference, and answered, If they had, I should have looked happy. Dear boy, smile now then, and she tipped me under the chin. I drew away. Oh, gum, we are solemn. What's the matter with you? Georgie, say something, else I'll begin to feel nervous.
Starting point is 00:52:29 What shall I say? he asked, shifting his feet and resting his elbows on his knees. Oh, lor! she cried in great impatience. He did not help her, but sat clasping his hands, smiling on one side of his face. He was nervous. He looked at the pictures, the ornaments and everything in the room. Lettie got up to settle some flowers on the mantelpiece, and he scrutinised her closely. She was dressed in some blue fulard stuff with lace of the throat and lace cuffs to the elbow. She was tall and supple. Her hair had a curling fluffiness, very charming. He was no taller than she and looked shorter, being strongly built. He too had a grace of his own, but not as he sat stiffly on a horsehair chair she was elegant in her movements after a little while mother called us into supper come said nettie to him take me in to supper he rose feeling very awkward give me your arm said she to tease him he did so and flushed under his tan afraid of her round arm half hidden by lace which lay among his sleeve when we were seated she flourished her spoon and asked him what he would have he hesitated looking up the strange dishes and said he would have some cheese he insisted on his eating new complicated meats i'm sure you'd like tantaflins don't you georgie said alice in her mocking fashion he was not sure he could not analyse the flavours he felt confused and bewildered even through his sense of taste alice begged him to have salad
Starting point is 00:54:10 said he, I don't like it. Oh, George, she said, how can you say so when I'm offering it to you? Well, I've only had it once, said he, and that was when I was working with Flint and he gave us fat bacon and bits of lettuce soaked in vinegar. Have a bit more salt, he kept saying, but I'd had enough. But all our lettuce, said Alice with a wink, is as sweet as a nut, no vinegar about our lettuce. George laughed in much confusion at her pun on my sister's name. I believe you, he said with pompous gantry. Think of that, cried Alice.
Starting point is 00:54:48 Our Georgie believes me. Oh, I am so, so pleased. He smiled plainfully. His hand was resting on the table, the thumb tucked tight under his fingers, his knuckles white as he nervously gripped his thumb. At last supper was finished, and he picked up his survey up from the floor,
Starting point is 00:55:06 and began to fold it. Betty also seemed ill at ease. She had teased him till the sense of his awkwardness and become uncomfortable. Now she felt sorry and a trifle repentant, so she went to the piano, as she always did, to dispel her moods. When she was angry, she played tender fragments
Starting point is 00:55:25 of Tchaikovsky, when she was miserable Mozart. Now she played Handel in a manner that suggested the plains of heaven in the long notes, and of the little trills, as if she were waltzing up the ladder of Jacob's dream at the damsels in Blake's pictures. Often told her she flattered herself scandalously through the piano, but generally she pretended not to understand me, and occasionally she surprised me by a sudden rush of tears to her eyes. For George's sake she played Gunoz Ave Maria, knowing that the sentiment of the chant would appeal to him and make
Starting point is 00:56:00 him sad, forgetful of the petty evils of this life. I smiled as I watched as I watched. to the cheap spell working. When she finished, her fingers lay motionless for a minute on the keys. Then she spun round and looked him straight in the eyes, giving promise of a smile. She glanced down at her knee. You are tired of music, she said. No, he replied, shaking his head. Like it better than salad, she asked, with a flash of raillery.
Starting point is 00:56:31 He looked up at her with a sudden smile, but did not reply. He was not handsome. His features were too often in a heavy repose, but when he looked up and smiled unexpectedly, he flooded her with an access of tenderness. "'Then you'll have a little more,' said she, and she turned again to the piano. She played soft, wistful morsels, then suddenly broke off in the midst of one sentimental plaint, and left the piano, dropping into a low chair by the far. There she sat and looked at him. He was conscious that our eyes were fixed on his.
Starting point is 00:57:06 him, but he dared not look back at her, so he pulled his moustache. You're only a boy, after all, she said to him quietly, and he turned and asked her why. It is a boy that you are, she repeated, leaning back in her chair and smiling lazily at him. I never thought so, he replied seriously. Really? she said, chuckling. No, said he, trying to recall his previous impressions. She laughed heartily, saying, You're growing up.
Starting point is 00:57:41 Oh, he asked. Growing up, she repeated, still laughing. But I'm sure I was never boyish, said he. I'm teaching you, said she, and when you're boyish, you'll be a very decent man. A mere man dared be a boy for fear of tumbling off his manly dignity, and then he'd be a fool, poor thing. He laughed and sat still to think about it, as was his way. "'Do you like pictures?' she asked suddenly, being tired of looking at him.
Starting point is 00:58:12 "'Better than anything,' he replied. "'Except dinner and a warm half and a lazy evening,' she said. He looked at her suddenly, hardening at her insult and biting his lips at the taste of this humiliation. She repented, and smiled her plaintive regret to him. "'I'll show you some,' she said, rising and going out of the room. He felt he was nearer her. She returned, carrying a pile of great books. "'Dove, you're pretty strong,' said he.
Starting point is 00:58:44 "'You're charming in your compliment,' she said. He glanced at her to see if she were mocking. "'That's the highest you can say of me, isn't it?' she insisted. "'Is it?' he asked. "'I'm willing to compromise himself.' "'For sure,' she answered. "'And then, laying the books on the table, I know how a man will compliment me by the way he looks at me.
Starting point is 00:59:07 He kneeled before the far. Some look at my hair, some watch the rise and fall of my breathing, some look at my neck, and a few, not you among them, look me in the eyes for my thoughts. To you, I'm a fine specimen, strong, pretty strong, you primitive man. He sat twisting his fingers. She was very contrary.
Starting point is 00:59:31 Bring your chair up. she said, sitting down at the table and opening a book. She talked to him of each picture, insisting on hearing his opinion. Sometimes he disagreed with her and would not be persuaded. At such time she was piqued. If, said she, an ancient Britain in his skins came and contradicted me as you do, wouldn't you tell him not to make an ass of himself? I don't know, said he. Then you ought to, she replied. You know nothing. How is it you ask me, then, he said. He began to laugh.
Starting point is 01:00:06 Why, that's a pertinent question. I think you might be rather nice, you know. Thank you, he said, smiling ironically. Oh, she said, I know you think you're perfect, but you're not. You're very annoying. Yes, exclaimed Alice, who had entered the room again, dressed ready to depart. He said, bluming slow, great whiz, who wants fellows to carry cold dinners? "'Should you like to shake him, Letty?'
Starting point is 01:00:31 "'I don't feel concerned enough,' replied the other calmly. "'Did you ever carry a boiled pudding, Georgie?' asked Alice, with innocent interest, punching me slyly. "'Me? Why? What makes you ask?' he replied, quite at a loss. "'Oh, I only wondered if your people needed any indigestion mixture. "'Pah, mixes it. One and a penny hate me a bottle.' "'I don't see,' he began. "'Tata, old boy. I'll give you time to thither.
Starting point is 01:00:59 think about him. Good night, Nettie. Absent Specks the heart grow fonder, Georgie, of someone else. Farewell. Come along, civil love. The moon is shining. Good night, all. Good night. I escorted her home, while they continued to look at the pictures. He was a romanticist. He liked Copley, Fielding, Catamol and Burkett Foster. He could see nothing whatsoever in Gertin or David Cox. They fell out decidedly over George Clousen. But, said Letty, he is a real realist. He makes common things beautiful. He sees the mystery and magnificence that envelopes us, even when we work communially. I do know, and I can speak. If I hoed in the fields beside you—' This was a very new idea for him, almost a shock to his
Starting point is 01:01:46 imagination, and she talked unheeded. The picture under discussion was a watercolour, hoeing by Klausen. You be just that colour in the sunset, she said. thus bringing him back to the subject, and if you looked at the ground you'd find there was a sense of warm gold fire in it. Once you'd perceive the colour, it would strengthen till you'd see nothing else. You're blind. You're only half-born. You're gross with good living and heavy sleeping. You are a piano which will only play a dozen common notes. Sunset is nothing to you. It merely happens anywhere.
Starting point is 01:02:22 Oh, would you make me feel as if I'd like to make you suffer? If you'd ever been sick, if you'd ever been born into a home where there was something oppressed you and you couldn't understand, if ever you'd believed or even doubted, you might have been a man by now. You never grow up, like balms which spend all summer getting fat and fleshy but never awakening the germ of a flower. As for me, the flower is born in me, but it wants bringing forth. Things don't flower if they're overfed. You have to suffer before you blossom in this life. When death is just touching a plant, it forces it into a passion of flowering. You wonder how I have touched death? You don't know. There's always a sense of death in this home. I believe my mother hated my father before I was born.
Starting point is 01:03:11 That was death in her veins for me before I was born. It makes a difference. As he sat listening, his eyes grew wide and his lips were parted like a child who feels the tail but does not understand the words. She, looking away from herself at last, saw him, began to laugh gently and patted his hand, saying, Oh my dear heart, are you bewildered? How amiable of you to listen to me!
Starting point is 01:03:38 Isn't any meaning it all? There isn't really. But, said he, why do you say it? Oh, the question, she laughed. Let us go back to our mutton's, we're gazing at each other like two dazed images. They turned on, chatting casually. till George suddenly exclaimed, "'There!'
Starting point is 01:03:59 It was Maurice Griffin Hagen's Idle. "'What of it?' she asked, gradually flushing. She remembered her own enthusiasm over the picture. "'Wouldn't it be fine?' he exclaimed, looking at her with glowing eyes, his teeth showing white and a smile that was not amusement. "'What?' she asked, dropping her head in confusion.
Starting point is 01:04:19 "'That a girl like that, half afraid. "'A passion!' He lit up. curiously. She may well be half afraid, when the barbarian comes out in his glory, skins and all. But don't you like it? he asked. He shrugged her shoulders, saying, Make love to the next girl you meet, and by the time the poppies red in the field, she'll hang in your arms. She'll have need to be more than half afraid, won't she? He played with the leaves of the book and did not look at him. But, he faltered, his eyes laying, it would be rather
Starting point is 01:04:57 "'Don't, sweet lad, don't,' she cried laughing. "'But I shouldn't,' he insisted. "'I don't know whether I should like any girl I know to—' "'Precious Sir Gattahad,' she said in a mock, caressing voice, and stroking his cheek with her finger. "'You ought to have been a monk, a martyr, a Carthusian!' He laughed, taking no notice. He was breathlessly quivering under the new sensation of heavy, unappeased fire in his breast
Starting point is 01:05:26 and in the muscles of his arms. He glanced in her bosom and shivered. Are you studying just how to play the part? She asked. No, but... He tried to look at her, but failed. He shrank, laughing and dropped his head. What? she asked with vibrant curiosity.
Starting point is 01:05:48 Having become a few degrees calmer, he looked up at her now, his eyes wide and vivid, with the declaration that made her shrink back. as if flame had leaped towards her face. She bent down her head and picked at her dress. "'Didn't you know the picture before?' she said in a low, toneless voice. Shut his eyes and shrank with shame. "'No, I've never seen it before,' he said.
Starting point is 01:06:15 "'I'm surprised,' she said. It is a very common one.' "'Is it?' he answered. And this make-belief conversation fell. She looked up and found his eyes. They gazed at each other for a moment before they hid their faces again. It was a torture to each of them to look thus nakedly at the other, a dazzled shrinking pain that they forced themselves to undergo for a moment, that they might the moment after tremble with a fierce sensation that filled their veins with fluid, fiery electricity.
Starting point is 01:06:48 She sought almost in panic for something to say. I believe it's in Liverpool the picture, he contrived to say. He did not kill this conversation. He was too self-conscious. He forced himself to reply, I didn't know there was a gallery in Liverpool. Oh yes, a very good one, she said. Their eyes met in the briefest flash of a glance. They both turned their faces aside. Thus averted one from the other, they made talk. At last she rose, gathered the books together, and carried them off. At the door she turned.
Starting point is 01:07:28 She must steal another key moment. Are you admiring my strength? she asked. Her pose was fine, with her head thrown back. The roundness of her throat ran finely down to the bosom, which swelled above the parl of books held by her straight arms. He looked at her. Their lips smiled curiously. She put back her throat as if she were drinking.
Starting point is 01:07:51 They felt the blood beating madly in their necks. Then, suddenly breaking into a slight trembling, she turned round and left the room. While she was out, he sat twisting his moustache. She came back along the hall talking madly to herself in French. Having been much impressed by Sarah Bernhardt's Dame O Camilla and Adrian la Cuvre, Lettie had caught something of the weird tone of this great actress, and her raillery and mockery came out in little wild waves. She laughed at him, and at herself, and at men in general, and at love in particular.
Starting point is 01:08:32 Whatever he said to her, she answered in the same mad clatter of French, speaking high and harshly. The sound was strange and uncomfortable. There was a painful perplexity in his brow, such as I often perceived afterwards, a sense of something hurting, something he could not understand. Well, well, well, well, she exclaimed at last. We must be mad sometimes, or we should be getting aged, huh? I wish I could understand, he said plaintively. Poor dear, she laughed. How sober he is.
Starting point is 01:09:05 And will you really go? They would think we've given you no supp or you look so sad. I have supped, full, he began, his eyes dancing with a smile as he ventured upon a quotation. He was very much excited. Of horrors, she cried competing it. Now that is worse than anything I have given you. Is it, he replied, and they smiled at each other. Far worse, she answered. They waited in suspense for some moments.
Starting point is 01:09:35 He looked at her. Goodbye, she said, holding at her hand. Her voice was full of insurgent tenderness. He looked at her again, his eyes flickering. Then he took her hand. She pressed his fingers, holding them a little while. Then, ashamed of her display of feeling, she looked down. He had a deep cut across his thumb.
Starting point is 01:09:58 What a gash! she exclaimed, shivering and clinging a little tighter to his fingers before she released them. He gave a little laugh. "'Does it hurt you?' she asked very gently. He laughed again. "'No,' he said softly, as if his thumb were not worthy of consideration. they smiled again at each other and with a blind movement he broke the spell and was gone end of part one chapter three part one chapter four of the white peacock by d h lawrence this libren box recording is in the public domain recording by simon embers part one chapter four the father autumn set in and the red dalyas which kept the warm light alive in their bosoms so late into the evening died in the night and the morning had nothing but brown balls of rottenness to show they called me as i passed the post-office door in everwich one evening and they gave me a letter for my mother the distorted sprawling handwriting perplexed me with a
Starting point is 01:11:13 dim uneaseness. I put the letter away and forgot it. I remembered it later in the evening when I wished to recall something to interest my mother. She looked at the handwriting and began hastily and nervously to tear open the envelope. She held it away from her in the light of the lamp and with eyes drawn half-closed, tried to scan it. So I found her spectacles, but she did not speak her thanks, and her hand trembled. She read the short letter quickly, then she sat down and read it again and continued to look at it. What is it, mother? I asked. She did not answer but continued staring at the letter.
Starting point is 01:11:56 I went up to her and put my hand on her shoulder, feeling very uncomfortable. She took no notice of me, beginning to murmur. Poor Frank. Poor Frank. That was my father's name. What is it, mother? Tell me what's the matter. she turned and looked at me as if i were a stranger she got up and began to walk about the room then she left the room and i heard her go out of the house the letter had fallen on to the floor i picked it up the handwriting was very broken the address gave a village some few miles away the date was three days before my dear lettis you want to know i am gone i can hardly last a day or two my kidneys are nearly gone I came over one day.
Starting point is 01:12:47 I didn't see you, but I saw the girl by the window, and I had a few words with the lad. He never knew, and he felt nothing. I think the girl might have done. If you knew how awfully lonely I am, Lettis, how awfully I have been, you might feel sorry. I have saved what I could to pay you back. I've had the worst of it, Lettis, and I'm glad the end has come. I've had the worst of it. good-bye for ever your husband frank birdsell i was numbed by this letter of my father's with almost agonized effort i strove to recall him
Starting point is 01:13:28 but i knew that my image of a tall handsome dark man with pale grey eyes was made up from my mother's few words and from a portrait i had once seen the marriage had been unhappy my father was a frivolous rather vulgar character but plausible having a good deal of a good deal of charm. He was a liar, without notion of honesty, and he had deceived my mother thoroughly. One after another she had discovered his mean dishonesties and deceits, and her soul revolted from him, and because the illusion of him had broken into a thousand vulgar fragments, she turned away with the scorn of a woman who finds her romance has been a trumpery tale. When he left her for other pleasures, Letty being a baby of three years while I was five, She rejoiced bitterly. She had heard of him indirectly, and of him nothing good, although he prospered.
Starting point is 01:14:24 But he had never come to see her, or written to her, in all the eighteen years. In a while my mother came in. She sat down, pleading up the hem of her black apron, and smoothing it out again. You know, she said, he had a right to the children, and I've kept them all the time. He could have come, said I. i set them against him i have kept them from him and he wanted them i ought to be by him now i ought to have taken you to him long ago but how could you when you knew nothing of him he would have come he wanted to come i have felt him for years but i kept him away i know i have kept him away i have felt it and he has poor frank you'll see his mistakes now he would not have been as cruel as i have been nay mother it is only the shock them makes you say so. This makes me know. I felt it myself a long time that he was suffering. I've
Starting point is 01:15:26 had the feeling of him in me. I knew, yes, I did know he wanted me and you. I felt it. I have had the feeling of him upon me this last three months, especially. I have been cruel to him. Well, we'll go to him now, shall we? I said. Tomorrow, tomorrow, she replied, noticing me really for the first time. I go in the morning. And I'll go with you. Yes, in the morning. Lettie has her party to Chatsworth. Don't tell her. We won't tell her. No, said I. Shortly after my mother went upstairs. Lettie came in rather late from Hightclose. Leslie did not come in. In the morning they were going with a motor party at a Matlock and Chatsworth, and she was excited and did not observe anything. After all, Mother and I could not sit out until the warm tempered afternoon.
Starting point is 01:16:21 The air was full of a soft yellowness when we stepped down from the train at Kostthay. My mother insisted on walking the long two miles to the village. We went slowly along the road, lingering over the little red flowers in the high hedge bottom up the hillside. We were reluctant to come to our destination. As we came in sight of the little grey tower of the church, heard the sound of braying, brassy music. Before us, filling a little croft, the wakes was in full swing. Some wooden horses careered gaily round, and the swingboats leaped into the mild blue sky. We sat up on the style, my mother and I, and watched. There were booths and coconut shies and roundabouts scattered in the small field. Groups of children moved quietly from attraction
Starting point is 01:17:09 to attraction. A deeply tanned man came across the field swinging two dripping, bucking. of water women looked from the doors of their brilliant caravans and lean dogs rose lazily and settled down again under the steps the fair moved slowly for all its noise a stout lady with a husky masculine voice invited the excited children into her peep-show a swarthy man stood with his hidden legs astride on the platform of the roundabouts and sloping backwards his mouth distended with a row of fingers he whistled astonishingly to the coarse round of the organ, and his whistling sounded clear like the flight of a wild goose high over the chimney-tops as he was carried round and round. A little fat man with an ugly swelling on his chest stood screaming from a filthy booth to a crowd of urchins, bidding them challenge a big stolid young man who stood with folded arms, his fists pushing out his biceps.
Starting point is 01:18:07 On being asked if he would undertake any of these prospective challenges, this young man nodded, having yet attained a talking stage. Yes, he would take two at a time, screamed the little fat man with the big excrescent on his chest, pointing at the cairing lads and girls. Further off, punches, quaint voice could be heard when the coconut man ceased grinding out screeches from his rattle. The coconut man was rough,
Starting point is 01:18:32 for these youngsters would not risk a penny shy, and the rattle yelled like a fiend. The little girl came along to look at us, daintily licking an ice cream sandwich. we were uninteresting however so she passed on to stare at the canavans we had almost gathered courage to cross the wakes when the cracked bell of the church sent its note falling over the babble one two three had it really sounded three then it rang on a lower bell one two three a passing bell for a man I looked at my mother. She turned away from me. The organ flared on. The husky woman came forward to make another appeal. Then there was a lull. The man with a lump on his chest had gone inside
Starting point is 01:19:23 the rag to spar with the solid fellow. The coconut man had gone to the three tongues in fury, and a brazen girl of seventeen or so was in charge of the nuts. The horses careered round, carrying two frightened boys. Suddenly, the quick throbbing note of the low bell struck again through the din. I listened, but could not keep count. One, two, three, four. For the third time, that great lad had determined to go on the horses, and they'd started while his foot was on the step, and he had been foiled. Eight, nine, ten. No wonder that whistling man had such a big Adam's apple. I wondered if it hurt his neck when he talked being so pointed. 19. 20. The girl was licking more ice cream with precious tiny lips. Twenty-five. Twenty-six. I wondered if I did count to twenty-six mechanically.
Starting point is 01:20:19 At this point I gave it up and watched for Lord Tennyson's bald head to come spinning round on the painted rim of the roundabouts, followed by red-faced Lord Roberts and a villainous-looking disraeli. Fifty-one, said my mother. Come, come along. we hurried through the fair towards the church towards a garden where the last red sentinels looked out from the top of the hollyhock spires the garden was a tousled mass of faded pink chrysanthemums and weak-eyed mythelmous daisies and spectre stalks of hollyhock it belonged to a low dark house which crouched behind a screen of views we walked along to the front the blinds were down and in one room we could see the stale light of candles burning is this new cottage asked my mother of a curious lad it's mrs may's replied the boy don't she live alone i asked she had french carlin but he's dead and she left him the candles to keep the old lad off on him we went to the house and knocked had ye come about him hoarsely whispered a bent old woman looking up with very blue eyes nodding her old head with its velvet net significantly towards the inner
Starting point is 01:21:35 a room. Yes, said my mother. We had a letter. Hi, poor fella, he's gone, Mrs. And the old lady shook her head. Then she looked at us curiously, leaned forward, and, putting her withered old hand on my mother's arm, her hand with its dark blue veins, she whispered in confidence, and the candles has gone out twice. You were a funny fella, very funny. I must come in and settle things. I am his nearest relative. said my mother, trembling. Yes, I must adores, for when I looked up it were black darkness. Mrs. I dursn't sit up with him, nor more, and many a one I've laid out. Hey, but his sufferings, Mrs.
Starting point is 01:22:17 Poor fellow, eh, Mrs. Lifted her ancient hands, and looked up at my mother, with her eyes so intensely blue. Do you know where he kept his papers? asked my mother. Yes, I asked Father Burns about it. He said we would pray for him. I bought him candles out of my own pocket. It would a room for a-re-y-wall. Again she shook her grey-haired mournfully.
Starting point is 01:22:42 My mother took a step forward. Did you want to see him? asked the old woman, with half-timid questioning. Yes, replied my mother, with a vigorous nod. She perceived now that the old lady was deaf. We followed the woman into the kitchen, the long, low, brum, dark, withdrawn blinds. sit ye down said the old lady in the same low tone as if she was speaking to herself ye are his sister upen my mother shook her head oh his brother's wife persisted the old lady we shook our heads on your cousin she guessed and looked at us appealingly i nodded assent sit you there a minute she said and trotted off she banged the door and jarred a chair as she went when she returned she set down a bottle and two glasses with a thump on the table in front of us her thin skinny wrist seemed hardly capable of carrying the bottle
Starting point is 01:23:41 it's one is it only just been gone off have a drop to keep you up do now poor thing she said pushing the bottle to my mother and hurrying off returning with the sugar and the kettle we refused he won't want it no more poor fellow and it's good mrs he all has drunk it good i an he hadn't a drop the last three days poor man poor fellow not a drop come now it'll stay ye come now we refused it's in there she whispered pointing to a closed door and a dark corner of the gloomy kitchen i stumbled up as little step and went plunging against a rickety table on which was a candle and a tall brass candlestick over went the candle and it rolled on the floor and the brass holder fell with much clanging hey hey dear lord dear art dear art wailed the old woman she hastened trembling round to the other side of the bed and relit the extinguished candle of the taper which was still burning as she returned the light glowed on her old wrinkled face and on the burnished knobs of the dark mahodanay bedstead while a stream of wax dripped down on to the floor by the glimmering light of the tube tapers we could see the outlined form under the counterpane Turned back the hem and began to make painful wailing sounds. My heart was beating heavily, and I felt choked. I did not want to look, but I must.
Starting point is 01:25:10 It was the man I had seen in the woods, with the puffiness gone from his face. I felt the great wild pity, and a sense of terror, and a sense of horror, and a sense of awful littleness and loneliness among a great empty space. I felt beyond myself, as if I were a man. a flare fleck drifting unconsciously through the dark. Then I felt my mother's arm round my shoulders, and she cried pitifully. Oh, my son, my son! I shivered and came back to myself.
Starting point is 01:25:43 There were no tears in my mother's face, only a great pleading. Never mind, mother, never mind, I said incoherently. She rose and covered the face again and went round to the old lady, and held her still and stayed her little. wailings. The woman wiped from her cheeks the few tears of old age and pushed her grey hair smooth under the velvet network. "'Where are all his things?' asked mother. "'He?' said the old lady, lifting up her ear. "'Are all his things here?' Mother repeated in a louder tone. "'Here!' the woman waved her hand round the room. It contained the great mahogany bedstead
Starting point is 01:26:24 naked of hangings, a desk and an oak chest and two or three mahogany chairs. I couldn't get him upstairs. He's only been here about a three-week. Where's the key to the desk? said my mother loudly in the woman's ear. Yes, she replied, it's his desk. She looked at us, perplexed and doubtful, fearing she had misunderstood us. This was dreadful. Key, I shouted. Where is the key? her old face was full of trouble as she shook her head i took it that she did not know where are his clothes clothes i repeated pointing to my coat she understood and muttered i'll fetch her me
Starting point is 01:27:08 we should have followed her as she hurried upstairs through a door near the head of the bed had we not heard a heavy footstep in the kitchen and a voice saying is the old lady going to drink with the devil hello mrs may come and drink with me We heard the tinkle of the liquor poured into a glass, and almost immediately the light tap of the empty tumbler on the table. I'll see what the old girl's up to, he said, and the heavy tread came towards us. Like me, he stumbled at the little step, but escaped collision with the table. Damn that full step, he said heartily. It was the doctor, for he kept his hat on his head and did not hesitate to stroll about the house. He was a big, burly, red-faced man.
Starting point is 01:27:54 i beg your pardon he said observing my mother my mother bowed mrs beardsell he asked taking off his hat my mother bowed i posted a letter to you you are a relative of his of poor old carlins he nodded sideways towards the bed "'The nearest,' said my mother. "'Poor fellow, he was a bit stranded. "'Cumbs of being a bachelor man.' "'I was very much surprised to hear from him,' said my mother. "'Yes, I guess he's not been much of a one for writing to his friends. "'He's had a bad time lately. "'You have to pay some time or other.
Starting point is 01:28:30 "'We bring them on ourselves, silly devils as we are. "'I beg a pardon.' "'There was a moment of a silence during which the doctor sighed, "'and then began to whistle softly. "'Well, we might be more comfortable if we had the blind up,' he said, letting daylight in among the glimmer of the tapers as he spoke. "'At any rate,' he said, "'you won't have any trouble settling up, no debt or anything of that.
Starting point is 01:28:55 "'I believe there's a bit to leave, so it's not so bad.' "'Poor devil, he was very down at the last, "'but we have to pay at one end or the other.' "'What on earth is the old girl after?' he asked, "'looking up at the rafter ceiling, "'which was rumbling and thundering with the old lady's violent rubbish. We wanted the key of his desk, said my mother. Oh, I can find you that, and the will.
Starting point is 01:29:18 He helped me where they were, and to give them you when you came. He seemed to think a lot of you. Perhaps you might have done better for himself. Here we heard the heavy tread of the old lady coming downstairs. The doctor went to the foot of the stairs. Hello now, be careful, he bawled. Poor old woman did as he expected and trod on the braces of the trousers, she was trailing and came crashing into his arms. He set her tenderly down, saying,
Starting point is 01:29:46 "'Not hurt, are you?' "'No.' And he smiled at her and shook his head. "'Hey, doctor, her doctor, bless ye, and thank you you've come. You'll see to him now, will ye?' "'Yes,' he nodded in his bluff, winning way, and hurrying into the kitchen he mixed her a glass of whiskey, and brought her pung for himself, saying to her, "'There you are. It was a nasty shaking for you.' The poor old woman sat in a chair by the open door of the staircase, the pall of clothing tumbling about her feet. She looked round pitifully at us, and at the daylight struggling among the counterlight,
Starting point is 01:30:21 making a ghostly beam on the bed where the rigid figure lay unmoved. The hand trembled so that she could scarcely hold her glass. The doctor gave us the keys, and we rifled the desk and the drawers, sorting out all the papers. The doctor sat sipping and talking to us all the time. "'Yes,' he said. He only been here about two years. "'Felt himself beginning to break up, then, I think. "'He'd been a long time abroad. They always called him Frenchy.' The doctor sipped and reflected, and sipped again.
Starting point is 01:30:54 "'Aye, he'd run the rig in his day. He used to dream dreadfully. "'Good thing the old woman was so deaf. "'Awful, when a man gives himself away in his sleep. "'Played the deuce with him, knowing it. "'Sip, sip, sip, sip, and more reflections, and another glass to be mixed. But he was a jolly decent fellow, generous, open-handed. The folks didn't like him because they couldn't get to the bottom of him.
Starting point is 01:31:19 They always hate to think they can't fathom. He was close, there's no mistake, save when he was asleep sometimes. The doctor looked at his glass and sighed. However, we shall miss him. Shark me, Mrs May! He bawled suddenly, startling us, making his glance at the bed. He lit his pipe and, puffed voluminously in order to obscure the attraction of the glass. Meanwhile, we examined the papers.
Starting point is 01:31:46 There were very few letters, one or two addressed to Paris. There were many bills and receipts and notes. Business, all business. There was hardly a trace of sentiment among all the litter. My mother sorted out such papers as she considered valuable. The others, letters and missives, which she glanced at cursorily and put aside. She took into the kitchen and burned. she seemed afraid to find out too much the doctor continued to colour his tobacco smoke with a few pensive words ay he said there are two ways you can burn your lamp with a big draught and it'll flare away till the oil's gone then it'll stink and smoke itself out or you can keep it trim on the kitchen table dirty your fingers occasionally trimming it up and it'll last a long time and sink out mildly here he turned to his glass and he turned to his glass and finally finding it empty was awakened to reality. "'Anything I can do, madam?' he asked.
Starting point is 01:32:45 "'No, thank you.' "'Aye, I don't suppose there's much to settle. Not many tears to shed when a fellow spends his years and his prime, on the Lord knows who. You can't expect those that remember him young to feel his loss too keenly. He'd had his fling in his day, though, ma'am. I must have had some rich times. No lasting satisfaction in it, though,
Starting point is 01:33:06 always wanting craving there's nothing like marrying you've got your dish before you then and you've got to eat it elapsed again into reflection from which he did not rouse till we had locked up the desk burned the useless papers put the others into my pockets and the black bag and were standing ready to depart then the doctor looked up suddenly and said but what about the funeral then he noticed the weariness of my mother's look and he jumped up and quickly seized him to his hat, saying, come across to my wife and have a cup of tea. Buried in these damn holes, a fellow gets such a ball. Do come, my little wife is lonely. Come just to see her. My mother smiled and thanked him. We turned to go. My mother hesitated in her walk. On the threshold of the room she glanced round of the bed, but she went on. Outside, in the fresh air of the fading afternoon, I could not believe it was true. It was not. true that sad, colourless face with grey beard wavering in the yellowed cantalight.
Starting point is 01:34:12 It was a lie, that wooden bedstead, that deaf woman. They were fading phrases of the untruth. That yellow blaze of little sunflowers was true, and the shadow from the sundial on the warm old armhouses. That was real. The heavy afternoon sunlight came round us warm and reviving. We shivered, and the untruth went out of our veins, and we were. were no longer chilled. The doctor's house stood sweetly among the beech trees, and at the iron fence in front of the little lawn a woman was talking to a beautiful Jersey cow that
Starting point is 01:34:48 pushed its dark nose through the fence from the field beyond. She was a little dark woman with vivid colouring. She rubbed the nose of the delicate animal, peeped right into the dark eyes, and talked in a lovable Scottish speech, talked as a mother talked softly to her child. When she she turned round in surprise to greet us there was still the softness of a rich affection in her eyes. She gave us tea and scones and apple jelly, and all the time we listened with delight to her voice, which was musical as bees humming in the lime trees. But she said nothing significant, we listened to her attentively. Her husband was merry and kind. She glanced at him with quick glances of apprehension, and her eyes avoided him. he in his merry frank way chafed her and praised her extravagantly and teased her again then he became a trifle uneasy i think she was afraid he had been drinking i think she was shaken with horror when she found him tipsy and bewildered and terrified when she saw him drunk
Starting point is 01:35:54 they had no children i noticed he ceased to joke when she became a little constrained he glanced at her often and looked somewhat pitiful when she avoided his looks and he grew uneasy and i could see he wanted to go away i had better go with you to the sea the vicar then he said to me and we left the room whose windows look south over the meadows the room where dainty little watercolours and beautiful bits of embroidery and empty flower vases and two dirty novels from the town library and the closed piano and the odd cups and the chipped spout of the teapot causing stains on the cloth all told one story we went to the joiners and ordered the coffin and the doctor had a glass of whiskey on it the graveyard fees were paid and the doctor sealed the engagement with a drop of brandy the vicar's port completed the doctor's gioviality and we went home this time the disquiet and the little woman's dark eyes could not be able to the vicar not dispel the doctor's merriment. He rattled away, and she nervously twisted her wedding ring. He insisted on driving us to the station, in spite of our alarm. But she will be quite safe with him, said his wife, in her caressing Highland speech. When she shook hands at parting, I noticed the hardness of the little palm, and I have always hated an old black alpaca dress. It is such a long way home from the station at Eberwich.
Starting point is 01:37:24 We rode partway in the bus, then we walked. It is a very long way for my mother when her steps are heavy with trouble. Rebecca was out by the road at Endrance looking for us. She hurried to us, all solicitous, and asked Mother if she had had tea. What you do with another cup, she said, and ran back into the house. She came into the dining room to take my mother's bonnet and come. coat. She wanted us to talk. She was distressed on my mother's behalf. She noticed the blackness that lay under her eyes, and she fidgeted about, unwilling to ask anything, yet uneasy and anxious
Starting point is 01:38:02 to know. Letty has been home, she said. And gone back again, asked Mother. She only came to change her dress. She put the green poplin on. She wondered where you've gone. What did you tell her? I said you've just gone out a bit. She said, she said, she. She was glad. She was as lively as a squirrel. Rebecca looked wistfully at my mother. At length the latter said, He's dead, Rebecca. I've seen him. Now thank God for that. No more need to worry over him.
Starting point is 01:38:36 Well, he died all alone, Rebecca. All alone. He died as you've lived, said Becky, with some asperity. But I've had the children. I've had the children. We won't tell Lettie, Rebecca. No. Rebecca left the room. You and Lettie will have the money, said Mother to me. It was the sum of £4,000 or so.
Starting point is 01:39:01 It was left to my mother, or in default, to Lettie and me. Well, mother, if it's ours, it's yours. It was silence for some minutes. Then she said, You might have had a father. We're thankful we hadn't, Mother. You spared us that. but how can you tell said my mother i can i replied and i am thankful to you if ever you feel scorn for one who is near you rising in your throat try and be generous my lad
Starting point is 01:39:32 well said i yes she replied we'll say no more some time you must tell letty you tell her i did tell her a week or so afterwards who knows she asked her face hardening mother Becky and ourselves. Nobody else? No. Then it's a good thing he's out of the way if he was such a nuisance to mother. Where is she? Upstairs. Let he ran to her. End of part one, chapter four. Part one, chapter five of The White Peacock by D. H. Lawrence. This Librevox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Simon Evers. Part one, chapter five. The scent of blood. The death of the man who was our father changed our lives. It was not that we suffered a great grief.
Starting point is 01:40:36 The chief trouble was the unanswered crying of failure. But we were changed in our feelings and in our relations. There was a new consciousness, a new carefulness. We'd lived between the woods and the water all our lives, Lettie and I, and she had sought the bright notes in everything. She seemed to hear the water laughing. and the leaves tittering and giggling like young girls. The aspen fluttered like the draperies of a flirt,
Starting point is 01:41:02 and the sound of the wood-pigeons was almost foolish in its sentimentality. Lately, however, she'd noticed again the cruel, pitiful crying of a hedgehog caught in a jinn, and she'd noticed the traps for the fierce little murderers, traps walled in with a small fence of fur, and baited with the guts of a killed rabbit. On an afternoon, a short time after our visit to cost them, Lettie sat in the window-seat. The sun clung to her hair and kissed her with passionate
Starting point is 01:41:32 splashes of colour brought from the vermilion dying creeper outside. The son loved Lettie and was loath to leave her. She looked out over Nethermere to high close, vague in the September mist. Had it not been for the scarlet light on her face, I should have thought her look was sad and serious. She nestled up to the window and leaned her head against the wood shaft. Gradually, she drooped into sleep. Then she became wonderfully childish again. It was the girl of seventeen sleeping there, with her full, pouting lips slightly apart, and the breath coming lightly. I felt the old feeling of responsibility. I must protect her and take care of her. There was a crunch of the gravel. It was Leslie coming. He lifted his hat to her, thinking she was
Starting point is 01:42:22 looking. He had that fine, lithe physique suggestive of much animal vigour. His person was exceedingly attractive. One watched him move about and felt pleasure. His face was less pleasing than his person. He was not handsome. His eyebrows were too light. His nose was large and ugly, and his forehead, though high and fair, was without dignity. But he had a frank, good-natured expression, and a fine, wholesome laugh. He wanted to be a very-natured expression. He wanted to by she did not move. As he came nearer, he saw, and he winked at me and came in. He tiptoed across the room to look at her. The sweet carelessness of her attitude, the appealing, half-pitable girlishness of her face touched his responsive heart, and he leaned forward and kissed her cheek
Starting point is 01:43:11 where already was a crimson stain of sunshine. He roused half out of her sleep with a little petulant, oh, as an awakened child. sat down behind her and gently drew her head against him, looking down at her with a tender, soothing smile. I thought she was going to fall asleep thus, but her eyelids quivered, and her eyes beneath them flickered into consciousness. "'Lesley, oh, let me go,' she exclaimed, pushing him away. He loosed her and rose, looking at her reproachfully. She shook her dress and went quickly to the mirror to arrange her hair. "'You are mean,' she exclaimed, looking very flushed, vexed and dishevelled. He laughed indulgently, saying,
Starting point is 01:43:55 You shouldn't go to sleep, then I look so pretty. Who could help? It's not nice, she said, frowning with irritation. We are not nice, are we? I thought we were proud of our unconventionality. Why shouldn't I kiss you? Because it's a question of me, not of you alone. Dear me, you are in a way. Mother's coming. Is she? You better tell her. Mother was very fond of Leslie. Well, sir, she said, why are you frowning? He broke into a laugh. Lettie is scolding me for kissing her when she was playing sleeping beauty.
Starting point is 01:44:31 The conceit of the boy to play Prince, said my mother. Oh, but it appears I was sadly out of character, he said ruefully. Lettie laughed and forgave him. Well, he said, looking at her and smiling, I came to ask you to go out. It is a lovely afternoon. said Mother. She glanced at him and said, I feel dreadfully lazy. Never mind, he replied. You'll wake up. Go and put your hat on. He sounded impatient. She looked at him. He seemed to be smiling peculiarly.
Starting point is 01:45:04 She lowered her eyes and went out of the room. She'll come all right, he said to himself, and to me she likes to play you on a string. She must have heard him. When she came in again, drawing on her gloves, she said quietly, you come as well, Pat. He swung round and stared at her an angry amazement. I'd rather stay and finish this sketch, I said, feeling uncomfortable. No, but do come, there's a dear. She took the brush from my hand and drew me from my chair.
Starting point is 01:45:35 The blood flushed into his cheeks. He went quietly into the hall and brought my cap. All right, he said angrily, women like to fancy themselves to podiums. They do, dear Arnd Duke, they do. She mocked. Yes, as a Waterloo in all their histories, he said, since she had supplied him with the idea. Say Peterloo, my general, say Peterloo. Aye, Peterloo, he replied with a splendid curl of the lip, easy conquests.
Starting point is 01:46:02 He came, he saw, he conquered, that he recited. Are you coming, he said, getting more angry. When you bid me? She replied, taking my arm. We went through the wood and through the disheveled borderlands to the high road. through the borderland that should have been park-like but which was shaggy with loose grass and yellow mole-hills ragged with gorse and bramble and brower with wandering old fawn trees and a queer clump of scotch furs on the highway the leaves were falling and they chattered under our steps the water was mild and blue and the corns stood drowsily and stook we climbed the hill behind hightclose and walked on along the upland looking across towards the hills of arid derbyshire and seeing them not because it was autumn.
Starting point is 01:46:50 We came in sight of the headstocks with the pit at Seltsby, and of the ugly village standing blank and naked on the brow of the hill. Letty was in very high spirits. She laughed and joked continually. She picked bunches of hips and stuck them in her dress. Having got a thorn in her finger from a spray of Blackbridge, she went to Leslie to have it squeezed out. We were all quite gay as we turned off the high road,
Starting point is 01:47:14 and went along the bridle path, with the woods on our right, the high stryly hills shutting in our small valley in front and the fields on the common to the left about half-way down the lane we heard the slurred of the south stone on the scythe letty went to the hedge to see it was george marrying the oats on the steep hillside where the machine could not go his father was tying up the corn into sheaves expecting his back mr saxon saw us and called to us to come and help pushed through a gap in the hedge of my duct to him up then said the father to me take that coat off and to letty have you brought us a drink no come that sounds bad going a walk i guess you see what it is to get fat and he pulled a wry face as he bent over to tie the corn he was a man beautifully ruddy and burly in the prime of life show me i'll do some said letty nay he answered gently it would scratch your wrist and break your stays hark up my hands he rubbed them together like sandpaper george had his back to us and had not noticed us he continued to mowe leslie watched him that's a fine movement he exclaimed yes replied the father rising very red in the face from the tying and our george enjoys a bit of mowing it puts you in fine condition when you get over the first stiffness we moved across to the standing corn The sun being mild, George had thrown off his hat, and his black hair was moist and twisted into confused half-curls.
Starting point is 01:48:52 Firmly planted, he swung with a beautiful rhythm from the waist. On the hip of his belted breeches hung the scythe stone. His shirt, faded almost white, was torn just above the belt, and showed the muscles of his back playing like lights upon the white sand of a brook. There was something exceedingly attractive in the rhythmic body. he turned round. He looked straight at Letty with a flashing, betraying smile. He was remarkably handsome. He tried to say some words of greeting, then he bent down and gathered an armful of corn and deliberately bound it up. Like him, Letty have found nothing to say. Leslie, however,
Starting point is 01:49:34 remarked, I should think mowing is a nice exercise. It is, he replied, and continued as Leslie picked up the scythe. but it will make you sweat and your hands will be sore. Leslie tossed his head a little, threw off his coat and said briefly, How do you do it? Without waiting for a reply, he proceeded. George said nothing, but turned to Lettie. You are picturesque, she said, trifle awkwardly.
Starting point is 01:50:04 Quite fit for an idyll. And you, he said. She shrugged her shoulders, laughed and turned to pick up a scarlet pimpernel. how'd you bind the corn she asked he took some long straws cleaned them and showed her the way to hold them instead of attending she looked at his hands big hard inflamed by the snath of the scythe i don't think i could do it she said no he replied quietly and watched leslie mowing the latter who was wonderfully ready at everything was doing fairly well but he had not the invincible sweep of the other, nor did he make the same crisp, crunching music. I bet he'll sweat, said George. Don't you, she replied. A bit, but I'm not dressed up.
Starting point is 01:50:57 Do you know, she said suddenly, your arms tempt me to touch them. They're such a fine brown colour and they look so hard. He held out one arm to her. She hesitated, then she swiftly put her fingertips on the smooth brown muscle and drew them along. quickly she hid her hand into the folds of her skirt blushing he laughed a low quiet laugh at once pleasant and startling to hear i wish i could work here she said looking away at the standing of corn and the dim blue woods he followed her look and laughed quietly with indulgent resignation i do she said emphatically you feel so fine he said pushing his hand through his open shirt-front and gently rubbing the muscles of his side. It's a pleasure to work or to stand still. It's a pleasure to yourself, your own physique.
Starting point is 01:51:52 She looked at him, full at his physical beauty, as if he were some great firm bud of life. Leslie came up wiping his brow. Jove, said he, I do perspire. George picked up his coat and helped him into it, saying, You may take a chill. "'It's a nice form of exercise,' said he. George, who had been feeling one fingertip,
Starting point is 01:52:18 now took out his penknife and proceeded to dig a thorn from his hand. "'What a hide you must have,' said Leslie. Lettie said nothing, but she recoiled slightly. The father, glad of an excuse to straighten his back and to chat, came to us. "'You'd soon had enough,' he said, laughing to Leslie. George startled us with a sudden, A lower! We turned and saw a rabbit which had burst from the corn
Starting point is 01:52:45 and go coursing through the hedge, dodging and bounding the sheaves. The standing corn was a patch along the hillside some fifty paces in length and ten or so in width. I didn't think there had been any in, said the father, picking up a short rake and going to the low wall of the corn. We all followed. Watch, said the father, if you see the heads of the corn shake.
Starting point is 01:53:06 We prowled round the patch of the patch of the corn. of corn. Hold, look out, shouted the father excitedly, and immediately after a rabbit broke from the cover. Aye, aye, aye, was a shout. Turn him, turn him. We set off full pelt. They were willed a little brute, scared by Leslie's wild running and crying, turned from its course and dodged across the hill, threading its terrified course through the maze of lying sheaves, spurting on in a painful zigzag, now bounding over an untied bundle of corn, now swerving from the sound of a shout. The little wretch was hard-pressed. George rushed upon it. It darted into some fallen corn, but he had seen it and had fallen on it. In an instant he was up again, and the little creature was damning
Starting point is 01:53:47 from his hand. We returned, panting, sweating, our eyes flashing to the edge of the standing corn. I heard Lettie calling, and turning round saw Emily and the two children entering the field as they passed from school. "'There's another!' shouted Leslie. I saw the Oetop's cover. here here i yelled the animal leaped out and made for the hedge george and leslie who were on that side dashed off turned him and he coursed back our way i headed him off to the father who swept in pursuit for a short distance but who was too heavy for the work the little beast made towards the gate but this time molly with her hat and her hand and her hair flying whirled upon him and she and the little fragile lad sent him back again rabbit was getting tired it dodged the sheaves badly running towards the top hedge i went after it If I could have let myself fall on it, I could have caught it. But this was impossible to me, and I merely prevented it dashing through the hole into safety. It raced along the hedge bottom.
Starting point is 01:54:46 George tore after it. As he was upon it, it darted into the hedge. He fell flat and shot his hand into the gap. But it had escaped. He lay there, panting in great sobs, and looking at me with eyes in which excitement and exhaustion struggled, like flickering light and darkness. When he could speak, he said,
Starting point is 01:55:05 why didn't you fall on top of it? I couldn't, said I. We returned again. The two children were peering into the thick corn also. We thought there was nothing more. George began to mow. As I walked round, I caught sight of a rabbit skulking near the bottom corner of the patch. Its ears lay pressed against its back.
Starting point is 01:55:28 I could see the palpitation of the heart under the brown fur, and I could see the shining dark eyes looking at me. i felt no pity for it but still i could not actually hurt it i beckoned to the father he ran up and aimed a blow with a rake there was a sharp little cry which sent a hot pain through me as if i had been cut but the rabbit ran out and instantly i forgot the cry and gave pursuit fairly feeling my fingers stiffened to choke it it was all lame leslieb was upon it in a moment and he almost pulled its head off in his excitement to kill it i looked up the girls were at the gate just to take it turning away. There are no more, said the father. And that innocent Mary shouted, There's one down this hole!
Starting point is 01:56:14 The hole was too small for George to get his hand in, so we dug it out with a rake handle. The stick went savagery down the hole, and there came a squeak. Mice, said George, and as he said it, the mother slid out. Somebody knocked her on the back, and the hole was opened out.
Starting point is 01:56:30 Little mice seemed to swarm everywhere. It was like killing insects. We counted nudge. little ones lying dead. Poor brute, said George, look at the mother. What a job she must have had, rearing that lot. He picked her up, handling her curiously and with pity.
Starting point is 01:56:47 Then he said, Well, I may as well finish this to-night. His father took another sigh from off the hedge, and together they soon laid the proud, quivering heads low. Lesia and I tied up as they mowed, and soon all was finished. The beautiful day was flushed. to die. Over in the west the mist was gathering bluer. Intense stillness was broken by the rhythmic
Starting point is 01:57:12 hum of the engines at the distant coal mine as they drew up the last bantles of men. As we walked across the fields the tubes of stubble tinkled like dulcimus. The scent of the corn began to rise gently. The last cry of the pheasants came from the wood and the little clouds of birds were gone. I carried aside and we walked pleasantly weary, down the hill towards the farm the children had gone home with the rabbits when we reached the mill we found the girls just rising from the table emily began to carry away the used pots and to set clean ones for us she made it lads at us and said her formal greeting letty picked up a book that lay in the ingle seat and went to the window george dropped into a chair he had flung off his coat and had pushed back his hair he rested his great brown arms on the table and was silent from him moment. Funny like that, he said to me, poor passing his hands over his eyes, makes you more tired than a whole day's work. Don't think I should do it again. The sport's exciting while it
Starting point is 01:58:18 lasts, said Leslie. It does you more harm than the rabbits do us good, said Mrs. Saxon. Oh, I don't know, mother, drawled her son. It's a couple of shillings. And a couple of days off your life. What be that, he replied. taking a piece of bread and butter and biting a large piece from it or as a drop of tea he said to emily i don't know that i shall wait on such brutes she replied relenting and flourishing the teapot oh said he taking another piece of bread and butter and not all alone in my savageness this time men are all brutes said lytty hotly without looking up from her book you can tame us said leslie in mighty good humour she did not reply george began in that deliberate voice and so annoyed emily it does make you mad though to touch the fur and not be able to grab him he laughed quietly emily moved off in disgust letty open her mouth sharply to speak but remained silent i don't know said leslie when it comes to killing it goes against the stomach if you can run said george you should be able to run to death
Starting point is 01:59:33 when your blood's up you don't hang half-way i think a man is horrible said letty who can tear the head off a little mite of a thing like a rabbit after running it in torture over a field when he's nothing but a barbarian to begin with said emily if you began to run yourself you'd be the same said george why women are cruel enough said leslie with a glance at letty yes he continued they're cruel enough in their way another look and a comical little smile well said jorne what's the good finny king if you feel like doing a thing you'd better do it unless you haven't courage said emily he looked up at her with dark eyes suddenly full of anger but said letty she could not hold herself from asking don't you think it's brutal now that you do think isn't it degrading and mean to run the poor little things down perhaps it is he replied but it wasn't an hour ago you have no feeling she said bitterly he laughed deprecatingly but said nothing finished tea in silence letty reading emily moving about the house george got up and went out at the end a moment or two after we heard him across the yard with the milkmuckings singing the ash grove he doesn't care a scrap for anything said emily with accumulated bitterness letty looked out of the window across the yard thinking she looked very glum after a while we went out also before the light faded altogether from the pond emily took us into the lower garden to get some rike plums the old garden was very low the soil was black the corn-bine and goose grass were clutching at the ancient gooseberry bushes which sprawled by the paths
Starting point is 02:01:27 The garden was not very productive, save of weeds, and perhaps tremendous lank artichokes or swollen marrows. At the bottom, where the end of the farm buildings rose high and grey, there was a plum-tree which had been crucified to the wall, and which had broken away and leaned forward from bondage. Now, under the bowers were hidden great mist-bloomed, crimson treasure, splendid globes. I shook the old ragged trunk green with even the fresh gum dulled over and the treasures fell heavily thudding down among the immense rhubarb leaves below. The girls laughed and we divided the spoil and turned back to the yard. We went down to the edge of the garden which skirted the bottom pond, a pool chained in a heavy growth of weeds. It was moving with rats, the father had said. The rushes were thick below us.
Starting point is 02:02:21 opposite the great bank fronted us with orchard trees climbing it like a hillside the lower pond received the overflow from the upper by our tunnel from the deep back sluice two rats ran into the black culvert at our approach we sat on some piled mossy stones to watch the rats came out again ran a little way stopped ran again listened were reassured and slid about freely dragging their long naked tails soon six or seven grey beasts were playing round the mouth of the culvert in the gloom they sat and wiped their sharp faces stroking their whiskers then one would give a little rush and a little squirm of excitement and would jump vertically into the air a lighting on four feet running sliding into the black shadow one dropped with an ugly plop into the water and swam toward us the hoary imp his sharp snout and his wicked little eyes moving at us let his shudder I threw a stone into the dead pool and frightened them all. But we had frightened ourselves more, so we hurried away and stepped our feet in relief on the free pavement of the yard. Leslie was looking for us.
Starting point is 02:03:34 He had been inspecting the yard on the stock under Mr. Saxton's supervision. Were you running away from me? he asked. No, she replied. I have been to fetch you a plum, look. And she showed him two in a leaf. They are too pretty to eat, said he. "'You have not tasted, he head,' she laughed. "'Come,' he said, offering her his arm. Let us go up to the water.'
Starting point is 02:03:59 He took his arm. It was a splendid evening with the light all thick and yellow lying on the smooth pond. Let he made him lift her onto a leaning bow of willow. He sat with his head resting against her skirts. Emily and I moved on. We heard him murmur something and her voice replied gently, caressingly. No, let us be still. It is all so still. I love it best of all now. Emily and I talked, sitting at the base of the alders a little way on. After an excitement and in the evening, especially in autumn, one is inclined to be sad and sentimental, we have forgotten that the darkness was weaving. I heard in the little distance Leslie's voice begin to murmur like a flying beetle that comes not too near.
Starting point is 02:04:50 Then, away down in the yard, George began singing the old song, I sowed the seeds of love. This interrupted the flight of Leslie's voice, and as the singing came nearer, the hum of low words ceased. We went forward to meet George. Leslie sat up, clasping his knees and did not speak. George came near, saying, The moon is going to rise. Let me get down, said Lettie, lifting her hands to him to help her.
Starting point is 02:05:22 He, mistaking her wish, put his hands under her arms and set her gently down as one would a child. Leslie got up quickly and seemed to hold himself separate, resenting the intrusion. I thought you were all four together, said George quietly. Lettie turned quickly at the apology. So we were. So we are. five now. Is it there the moon will rise? Yes, I'd like to see it come over the wood. It lifts slowly up to stare at you. I always think it wants to know something, and I always think I have something to answer, only I don't know what it is, said Emily. Where the sky was pale in
Starting point is 02:06:03 the east over the room of wood came the forehead of the full yellow moon. We stood and watched in silence. Then, as the great disc, nearly full, lifted and looked straight. upon us we were washed off our feet in a vague sea of moonlight we stood with the light like water on our faces letty was glad a little bit exalted emily was passionately troubled her lips were parted almost beseeching leslie was frowning oblivious and george was thinking and the terrible immense moonbeams braided through his feeling at length leslie said softly mistakenly come a couple of long, dear, and he took her arm. She let him lead her along the bank of the pond and across the plank over the sluice. Do you know, she said as we were carefully descending the steep bank of the orchard? I feel as if I wanted to laugh or darn something rather outrageous. Surely not like that now, Leslie replied in a low voice, feeling really hurt.
Starting point is 02:07:10 I do, though. I'll race you to the bottom. No, no, dear, he held her back. When he came to the wicket leading on to the front lawns. He said something to her softly as he held the gate. I think he wanted to utter his half-finished proposal, and so bind her. She broke free, and observing the long lawn which lay grey shadow between the eastern and western glows, she cried, polka, a polka! One can dance a polka where the grass is smooth and short, even if there are some fallen leaves. Yes, yes, how jolly! He held out her hand to Leslie, but it was too great a shock to his mood. so she called to me and there was a shade of anxiety in her voice lest after all she should be caught in the toils of the night's sentiment pat you'll dance with me leslie hates a polka i dance with her
Starting point is 02:08:00 i do not know the time when i could not polka it seems innate in one's feet to dance that dance we went flying round hissing through the dead leaves the night the low hung yellow moon the pallor of the west the blue cloud of evening overhead went round and through the fantastic branches of the old laburnum spinning a little madness you cannot tire letty her feet are wings that beat the air when at last i stayed her she laughed as fresh as ever as she bound her hair there she said to leslie in tones of extreme satisfaction that was lovely do you come and dance now not a polka said he sadly fearing the poetry in his heart insulted by the jigging measure But one cannot dance anything else on wet grass and through shuffling dead leaves. You, George? Emily says I jump, he replied. Come on, come on. And in a moment they were bounding across the grass.
Starting point is 02:09:03 After a few steps, she fell in with him and they spun round the grass. It was true he leaped, sprang with large strides, carrying her with him. It was a tremendous, irresistible dancing. Emily and I must join, making an inner. a ring. Now and again there was a sense of something white flying near, a wild rustle of draperies and a swish of disturbed leaves as they whirled past us. Long after we were tired, they danced on. At the end he looked big, erect, nerved with triumph, and she was exhilarated like a becanti. "'Have you finished?' Leslie asked. She knew she was safe from his question
Starting point is 02:09:43 that day yes she panted you should have danced give me my hat please do i not very disgraceful he took her hat and gave it to her disgraceful he repeated oh you are solemn to-night what is it yes what is it he repeated ironically must be the moon now is my hat straight tell me now you're not looking then put it level now then why your hands are quite cold and mine so hot i feel so impish and she laughed there now i'm ready do you notice those little chrysanthemans try to smell sadly when the old moon is laughing and winking through those bows what business have they with their sadness she took a handful of petals and flung them into the air there if they sigh they ask for sorrow i like things to wink and look wild end of part one chapter five part one chapter six of the white peacock by d h this librivox recording is in the public domain recording by simon others part one chapter six the education of george as i have said strilly mill lies at the north end of the long nithermere valley on the northern slope slates pasture and arable lands the shaggy common now closed and part of the estate covered to the western slope and the cultivated land was bounded on the east by the shaggy common now closed and part of the estate covered the western slope and the cartivated land was bounded on the east by the shanky sharp dip of the brook course, a thread of woodland broadening into a spinny and ending at the upper pond. Beyond this, on the east, rose the sharp, wild, grassy hillside, scattered with old trees,
Starting point is 02:11:44 ruinous with the gaunt, ragged bones of old hedgerows grown into thorn trees. Along the rim of the hills, beginning in the north-west, were dark woodlands, which swept round east and south till they raced down in riot to the very edge of southern Nethermeer. surrounding our house. From the eastern hillcrest, looking straight across, you could see the sparred of Seltsby Church, and a few roofs, and the headstocks of the pit. So, on three sides, the farm was skirted by woods, the dens of rabbits, and the common held another war room. Now the squire of the estate, head of an ancient, even once famous, but now decayed house, loved his rabbits. Unlike the family of fortunes, the family tree flurries, and the family tree flurries.
Starting point is 02:12:31 amazingly. Sherwood could show nothing comparable. Its ramifications were stupendous. It was more like a banyan than a British oak. How was the good squire to nourish himself and his lady, his name, his tradition, and his thirteen lusty branches on his meagre estates? An evil fortune discovered to him that he could sell each of his rabbits, those bits of furry vermin, for a shilling or thereabouts in Nottingham, since which time the noble family subsisted. by rabbits. Farms were gnawed away. Corn and sweet grass departed from the face of the hills. Cattle grew lean, unable to eat the defiled herbage. Then the farm became the home of a keeper, and the country was silent, with no sound of cattle, no clink of horses, no barking of lusty dogs. But the squire loved his rabbits. He defended them against the snares of the despairing farmer, protected them with gun and notices to quit. How he glowed with thankfulness as he saw the disheveled hillside
Starting point is 02:13:35 heave when the gnawing hosts moved on. Are they not quails and manor? Said he to his sporting guest early one Monday morning as the high meadow broke into life at the sound of his gun. Quails and manor in the wilderness? They are, by Jove,
Starting point is 02:13:52 assented the sporting guest as he took another gun while the saturnine keeper smiled grimly. meanwhile stralia mill began to suffer under this gangrene it was the outpost in the wilderness it was an understood thing that none of the squire's tenants had a gun well said the squire to mr saxon you have the land for next to nothing next to nothing at a rent really absurd surely the little that the rabbits eat it's not a little come and look for yourself replied the farmer squire made a gesture of impatience what do you want he inquired will you whir me off was the repeated request whirries what does hawkitt say so much per yard and it would come to what did hawkett tell me now but a large sum no i can't do it well i can't live like this have another glass of whisky yes yes i want another to laugh myself and i can't drink alone so ever i am to enjoy my glass that's it now surely you exaggerate a little it's not so bad i can't go on like it i'm sure well we'll see about compensation we'll see i'll have a talk with hawkett and i'll come down and have a look at you we'll all find a pinch somewhere it's nothing but humanity's heritage
Starting point is 02:15:10 i was born in september and love it best of all the months there is no heat no hurry no thirst and weariness in corn harvest as there is in the hay if the season is late as is usual with us then mid-september sees the corn still standing in stook the mornings come slowly the earth is like a woman married and fading she does not leap up with a laugh for the first fresh kiss of dawn but slowly quietly unexpectedly lies watching the waking of each new day. The blue mist, like memory in the eyes of unnelected wife, never goes from the wooded hill, and only at noon creeps from the nearer hedges. There's no bird to put a song in the throat of morning, only the crow's voice speaks during the day.
Starting point is 02:16:02 Perhaps there is the regular breathing hush of the scythe, even the fretful jar of the mowing machine. But next day, in the morning, all is still again. The lying corn is wet, and when you have bound it and lift the heavy sheaf to make the stoop,
Starting point is 02:16:18 the tresses of oats wreaths reeth round each other and droop mournfully. As I worked with my friend through the still mornings, we talked endlessly. I would give him the gist of what I knew
Starting point is 02:16:30 of chemistry and botany and psychology. Day after day I told him what the professors had told me of life, of sex and its origins, as Schopenhauer of William James. We've been friends for years and he was accustomed to my talk. But this autumn fruited the first crop of intimacy between us.
Starting point is 02:16:50 I taught a great deal of poetry to him and of rudimentary metaphysics. He was very good stuff. He had hardly a single dogma, save that of pleasing himself. Religion was nothing to him. So he heard all I had to say with an open mind and understood the drift of things very rapidly and quickly made these ideas part of himself. we tramped down to dinner with only the clinging warmth of the sunshine for a coat in this still in folding weather a quiet companionship is very grateful autumn creeps through everything
Starting point is 02:17:26 the little dams are in the pudding taste of september and are fragrant with memory the voices of those at table are softer and more reminiscent than at haytime afternoon is all warm and golden oat sheaves are lighter they whisper to each other as they freely embrace the long stout stubble tinkles as the foot brushes over it the scent of the straw is sweet when the poor bleached sheaves are lifted out of the hedge a spray of nodding wild raspberries is disclosed with belated berries ready to drop among the damp grass lush blackberries may be discovered then one notices that the last bell hangs from the ragged spire of foxdove the talk is of people an odd book of one's hopes and the future of canada where work is strenuous but not life where the plains are wide and what is not lapped in a soft valley like an apple that falls in a secluded orchard the mist steals over the face of the warm afternoon the tying up is all finished and it only remains to rear up the fallen bundle of the fallen bundle of the fall of the fallon into shocks the sun sinks into a golden glow in the west the gold turns to red the red darkens like a fire burning low the sun disappears behind the banks of milky mist purple like the pale bloom on blue plums and we put on our coats and go home in the evening when the milking was finished and all the things fed then we went out to look at the snares we wandered on across the stream and up the wild hills our feet rattled through black patches of devil-spits scabious it occurred at a swim of thistle-down which glistened when the moon touched it we stumbled on through wet coarse grass over soft mole-hills and black rabbit-holes the hills and woods cast shadows the pools of mist in the valleys gathered the moonbeams in cold shivery light we came to an old farm that stood on the level brier of the hill the woods swept away from it
Starting point is 02:19:37 leaving a great clearing of what was once cultivated land. The amps and chimneys of the house silhouated against a light sky drew my admiration. I noticed that there was no light or glow in any window, though the house had only the width of one room, and though the night was only at eight o'clock. We looked at the long, impressive front. Several of the windows had been bricked in, giving a pitiful impression of blindness.
Starting point is 02:20:03 The places where the plaster had fallen off the walls showed blacker in the shadow. we pushed open the gate and as we walked down the path weeds and dead plants brushed our ankles we looked in at a window the room was lighted also by a window from the other side through which the moonlight streamed on to the flagged floor dirty littered with paper and wisps of straw the hearth lay in the light with all its distress of grey ashes and piled cinders of burnt paper and a child's headless doll charred and pitiful on the border line of shadow lay a round fur cap a gamekeeper's cap i blamed the moonlight for entering the desolate room the darkness alone was decent and reticent i hated the little roses on the illuminated piece of wall-paper i hated that far side with farmer's instinct george turned to the outhouse the cow-yard startled me it was a forest of the tallest nettles i have ever seen nettles far taller than my six feet the air was soddened with the dank scent of nettles as i followed george along the obscure brick path i felt my flesh creep the buildings when we entered them were in splendid condition they had been restored within a small number of years they were well timbered neat and neat and cosy. Here and there you saw feathers, bits of animal wreckage, even the remnants of a cat which we hastily examined by the light of a match. As we entered the stable there
Starting point is 02:21:37 was an ugly noise and three great rats half rushed at us and threatened us with their vicious teeth. I shuddered and hurried back stumbling over a bucket, rotten with rust, and so filled with weeds that I thought it part of the jungle. There was a silence made horrible by the faint noises that rats and flying bats give out. The place was bare of any vestige of corn or straw or hay, only choked with the growth of abnormal weeds. When I find myself free in the orchard, I could not stop shivering. There were no apples to be seen overhead between us and the clear sky. Either the birds had caused them to fall, when the rabbits had devoured them, or someone had gathered the crop.
Starting point is 02:22:18 This, said George bitterly, is what the mill will come to. After your time, I said. My time, my time, I shall never have a time. I should be surprised if father's time isn't short, with rabbits and one thing and another. As it is we depend on the milk-ground and on the carting which I do for the council. You can't call it farming. We're a miserable mixture of farmer, milkman, green-grosser and carting contractor, It's a shabby business."
Starting point is 02:22:50 "'You have to live,' I retorted. "'Yes, but it's rotten. The father won't move, and he won't change his methods.' "'Well, what about you?' "'Me? What should I change for? I'm comfortable at home. As for my future, it can look after itself, so long as nobody depends on me.' "'Letso fair,' said I, smiling. "'This is no laissez-fair,' he replied, glancing round. this is pulling the nipple out of your lips and letting the milk run away sour look there through the thin veil of moonlit mist that slid over the hillside we could see an army of rabbits bunched up or hopping a few paces forward feeding
Starting point is 02:23:34 we set off at a swinging pace down the hill scattering the hosts as we approached the fence that bounded the mill-fields he exclaimed hello and hurried forward i followed him and observed the dark figure of a man rise from the hedge it was a gamekeeper he pretended to be examining his gun as we came up he greeted us with a calm good evening short replied by investigating the little gap in the hedge i'll trouble you for that snare he said will yer answered annabel a broad burly black-faced fellow and i should like to know what you're doing on the wrong side of the edge you can see what we're doing hand over my snare and the rabbit said said George angrily. What rabbit, said Animal, turning sarcastically to me. You know what enough, and you can hand it over or... George replied. Or what, spit it out. The soul won't kill me.
Starting point is 02:24:34 The man grinned with contempt. Hand over here, said George, stepping up to the man in a rage. Now don't, said the keeper, standing stock still, and looking unmovedly at the proximity of George. You'd better get a form, both you and him. You get nice. the snare or rabbit, see. We will see, said George, and he made a sudden move to get hold of the man's coat. Instantly he went staggering back with a heavy blow under the left ear.
Starting point is 02:25:00 Damn brute, I ejaculated, bruising my knuckles against the fellow's jaw. Then I too found myself sitting dazedly on the grass, watching the great skirts of his velveteens flinging round him as if he had been a demon as he strode away. I got up, pressing my chest where I had been struck. George was lying in the hedge-bottom. i turned him over and rubbed his temples and shook the drenched grass on his face he opened his eyes and looked at me dazed then he drew his breath quickly and put his hand to his head he nearly stunned me he said the devil i answered i wasn't ready no did he knock me down hi me too he was silent for some time sitting limply then he pressed his hand against the back of his head saying My head does sing. Tried to get up, but failed. Oh, God, being knocked into this state by a damned keeper.
Starting point is 02:26:00 Come on, I said. Let's see if we can't get indoors. No, he said quickly. We needn't tell them. Don't let them know. I sat thinking of the pain in my own chest and wishing that I could remember hearing Annabell's jaws smash, and wishing that my knuckles were more bruised than they were. Now, that was bad enough. I got up and helped George to rise. He swayed almost pulling me over, but in a while he could walk evenly. Am I, he said, covered with clay and stuff?
Starting point is 02:26:30 Not much, I replied, troubled by the shame and confusion with which he spoke. Get it off, he said, standing still to be clean. I did my best. Then we walked about the fields for a time, gloomy, silent and sore. Suddenly, as we went by the pond aside, we were startled by great. great swishing black shadows had swept just above our heads. The swans were flying up for shelter now that a cold wind had begun to fret Nethermare. They swung down onto the glassy mill pond, shaking the moonlight in flecks across the deep shadows. The night rang with the clacking of their
Starting point is 02:27:07 wings on the water. The stillness and calm were broken. The moonlight was furrowed and scattered and broken. The swans, as they sailed into shadow, were dim, haunting spectres. the wind found us shivering don't you won't say anything he asked as i was leaving him no nothing at all not to anybody no good-night about the end of september our countryside was alarmed by the harrying of sheep by strange dogs one morning the squire going the round of his fields as was his custom to his grief and horror found two of his sheep torn and dead in the hedge-bottom and the rest huddled in a corner swaying about in terror, smeared with blood. The squire did not recover his spirits for days. There was a report of two grey, wolfish dogs. The squire's keeper had heard yelping in the fields of Dr. Collins of the Abbey about dawn.
Starting point is 02:28:08 Three sheep lay soaked in blood when the labourer went to tend the flocks. Then the farmers took alarm. Lord of the White House farm intended to put his sheep in pen with his dogs in charge. It was Saturday, however, and the lads ran off to the little travelling theatre that had been halted of Westworld. While they sat open-mouthed in the theatre, gloriously nicknamed the Blood Tub, watching heroes die with much writhing and heaving and struggling up to say a word and collapsing without having said it, six of their silly sheep were slaughtered in the field. At every house it was inquired of the dog, nowhere had one been loose. Mr. Saxton had some 30 sheep on the common.
Starting point is 02:28:51 George determined that the easiest thing was for him to sleep out with them. He built a shelter of hurdles interlaced with brushwood, and in the sunny afternoon we collected piles of bracken, browning to the ruddy winter-brown now. He slept there for a week, but that week aged his mother like a year. She was out in the cold morning twilight watching, with her apron over her head for his approach.
Starting point is 02:29:14 She did not rest with the thought of him out on the common. Therefore, on Saturday night, he brought down his rugs and took up Jip to watch in his stead. For some time we sat looking at the stars over the dark hills. Now and then a sheep coughed or a rabbit rustled beneath the brambles and Jip whined. The mist crept over the gorse bushes and the webs on the brambles were white. The devil throws his net over the blackberries as soon as September's back is turned, they say. I saw two photos go by with bags and nets, said George, as you sat looking out of his little shelter. Poachers, said I. Did you speak to them?
Starting point is 02:29:56 No, they didn't see me. I was dropping asleep when a rabbit rushed under the blanket all of a shiver and a whipet dog after it. I gave the whipet a punch in the neck and he yelped off. The rabbit stopped with me quite a long time. Then it went. How did you feel? I didn't care. I don't care much what happens just now. Father could get along without me and mother has the children. I think I shall emigrate. Why didn't you before?
Starting point is 02:30:25 Oh, I don't know. There are a lot of little comforts and interests at home that one would miss. Besides, you feel somebody in your own countryside. You're nothing in a foreign part, I expect. What you're going? What is there the stop here for? The valley is all running wild and unprofitable. You've no freedom for thinking of what the other folks think of you, and everything round
Starting point is 02:30:48 you keeps the same and so you can't change yourself, because everything you look at brings up the same old feeling, and stops you from feeling fresh things. And what is there that's worth anything? What's worth having in my life? I thought, said I, your comfort was worth having. He sat still and did not answer. What's shaking you out of your nest? I asked.
Starting point is 02:31:13 I don't know. I'm not thought. the same since that rile with animal. And Lettie said to me, here you can't live as you like, in any way or circumstance. You're like a bit out of those coloured marble mosaics in the hall. You have to fit in your own set, fit into your own pattern, because you're put there from the first. But you don't want to be like a fixed bit of a mosaic. You want to fuse into life and melt and mix with the rest of folk to have something burned out of you. He was downright serious.
Starting point is 02:31:42 Well, you need not believe her. When did you see her? She came down on Wednesday when I was getting the apples in the morning. She'd climbed a tree with me, and there was a wind. That's why I was getting all the apples, and it rocked us, me right up at the top, she's sitting halfway down holding the basket. I asked her, didn't she think that free kind of life was the best, and that was how she answered me. You should have contradicted her.
Starting point is 02:32:10 It seemed true. I never thought of it being wrong, in fact. Come, that sounds bad. No, I thought she looked down on us on our way of life. I thought she meant I was like a toad in a hole. You should have shown her different. How could I when I could see no different? It strikes me, you're in love.
Starting point is 02:32:33 He laughed at the idea, saying, No, but it is rotten to find that there isn't a single thing you have to be proud of. This is a new tune for you. He pulled the grass moodily. And when do you think of going? Oh, I don't know. I've said nothing to Mother. Not yet, at any rate, not till spring. Not till something has happened, said I. What? he asked. Something decisive. I don't know what can happen unless the squire turns us out.
Starting point is 02:33:05 No, I said. He did not speak. You should make things happen, said I. don't make me feel a worse fool cyril he replied despairingly ship whined and jumped tugging her chain to follow us the grey blurs among the blackness of the bushes were resting sheep a chill dim mist crept along the ground but for all that cyril he said to have her laugh at you across the table to hear her sing as she moved about before you are washed at night when the fire's warm and you're tired to have her sit by you on the hear her sit by you on the hearth seats, close and soft. In Spain, I said, in Spain, took no notice, but turned suddenly laughing. Do you know, when I was stooking up, lifting the sheaves, it felt like having your arm round a girl. It was quite a sudden sensation. You better take care, said I. You'll mess yourself in the silk of dreams, and then, he laughed, not having heard my words. The time seems to go like
Starting point is 02:34:09 lightning, thinking, he confessed, I seemed to sweep the mornings up in a handful. Oh, Lord, said I, why don't you scheme forgetting what you want instead of dreaming fulfilments? Well, he replied, if it was a fine dream, wouldn't you want to go on dreaming? And with that he finished, and I went home. I sat up my window looking out, trying to get things straight. Mist rose and wreathed round Nethermare, like ghosts meeting. and embracing sadly. I thought at the time when my friend should not follow the harrow on our own snug valley side, and when Lettie's room next mine should be closed to hide its
Starting point is 02:34:49 emptiness, not its joy. My heart clung passionately to the hollow which held us all. How could I bear that it should be so desolate? I wondered what Lettie would do. In the morning I was up early when daybreak came with a shiver through the woods. I went out while the moon, still shone sickly in the west. The world shrank from the morning. It was then that the last of the summer things died. The wood was dark and smelt damp and heavy with autumn. On the paths the leaves lay clogged. As I came near the farm, I heard the yelling of dogs. Running, I reached to the common and saw the sheep huddled and scattered in groups. Something leaped round them. George bursted to sight pursuing, directly there was the bang, bang of a gun. I picked up a heavy piece of sandstone and ran forwards.
Starting point is 02:35:44 Three sheep scattered wildly before me. In the dim light I saw their grey shadows move among the gorse bushes. Then a dog leaped and I flung my stone with all my might. I hit. They came a high-pitched howling yelp of pain. I saw the brute make off and went after him, dodging the prickly bushes, leaping the trailing brambles. The gunshots rang out again and I heard the men shouting with excitement. My dog was out of sight, but I followed still slanting down the hill. In a field ahead I saw someone running, leaping the low hedge I pursued and overtook Emily, who was hurrying as fast as she could through the wet grass. There was another gunshot and great shouting.
Starting point is 02:36:22 Emily lanced round, saw me, and started. It's got to the quarries, she panted. We walked on without saying a word. Skirting the spinny, we followed the brook course and came at last to the quarry fence. The old excavations were filled now with trees. The steep walls, twenty feet deep in places, were packed with loose stones and trailed with hanging brambles. We climbed down the steep bank of the brook and entered the quarries by the bed of the stream. Under the groves of ash and oak a pale primrose still lingered, glimmering wanly beside the hidden water.
Starting point is 02:36:56 Emily found a smear of blood on a beautiful trail of yellow convolvulus. We followed the tracks onto the open where the brook flowed on the hard rock bed. and the stony floor of the corrie was only a tangle of gorse and bramble and honeysuckle. "'Take a good stone,' said I, "'and we pressed on where the grove and the great excavation darkened again, "'and the brook slid secretly under the arms of the bushes and the hair of the long grass. "'We beat the cover almost to the road. "'I thought the brute had escaped, and I pulled a bunch of mountain ashberries
Starting point is 02:37:29 "'and stood tapping them against my knee. "'I was startled by a snarl and a little scream, running forward I came upon one of the old horseshoe lime kilns that stood at the head of the quarry there in the mouth of one of the kilns Emily was kneeling on the dog her hands buried in the hair of its throat pushing back its head the little jerks of the brute's body were the spasms of death already the eyes were turning inward and the upper lip was drawn from the teeth by pain "'Good Lord, Emily, but he's dead,' I exclaimed. "'Has he hurt you?' I drew her away. She shudder violently and seemed to feel a horror of herself.
Starting point is 02:38:08 "'No, no,' she said, looking at herself, with blood all on her skirt, when she had knelt on the wound which I had given the dog, and pressed the broken rib into the chest. There was a trickle of blood on her arm. "'It he bite you?' I asked, anxious. "'No, oh, no, I'd just peeped in and he jumped, but he had no strength, and I hit him back with my stone, and had lost my balance, and fell on him.
Starting point is 02:38:32 Let me watch your arm. Oh, she exclaimed, isn't it horrible? I think it's so awful. What, said I, busy bathing her arm in the cold water of the brook? This whole brutal affair. Nought to be quarterised, said I, looking at a score on our arm from the dog's tooth. That scratch, that's nothing. Can you get that off my skirt?
Starting point is 02:38:54 I feel hateful to myself. I washed her skirt with my handkerchief as well as I could, saying, Let me just see her a few. We can go to the kennels. Do, you, I don't feel safe otherwise. Really, she said, glancing up at me, a smile coming into her fine, dark eyes. Yes, come along. Ha, ha, she laughed. You look so serious. I took her arm and drew her away. She linked her arm in mine and leaned on me. It's just like Lorna Doon, she said.
Starting point is 02:39:26 said, as if she enjoyed it. But you will let me do it, said I, referring to the quarterizing. You make me, but I shall feel, oh, I daren't think of it. Get me some of those berries. I plucked a few bunches of Goulda rose fruits, transparent, ruby berries. She stroked them softly against her lips and cheap, caressing them. Then she murmured to herself, I've always wanted to put red berries in my hair. The shawl she had been wearing was thrown across her shoulders and her head was bare, and her black hair, soft and short and ecstatic, tumbled wildly into loose, light curls. She thrust the stalks of the berries under her combs. Her hair was
Starting point is 02:40:08 not heavy or long enough to have held them. Then, with the ruby bunches glowing through the black mist of curls, she looked up at me, brightly, with wide eyes. I looked at her, and felt the smile winning into her eyes. Then I turned, and dragged a trail of golden-leaved convolvulus from the hedge, and I twisted it into a coronet for her. There, said I, you're crowned. She put back her head, and the low laughter shook in her throat. What, she asked, putting all the courage and recklessness she had into the question, and in her soul, trembling.
Starting point is 02:40:45 Not clevery, not becanti, you've always got your soul in your eyes, such an earnest, troublesome soul. The laughter faded at once, and her great seriousness. looked out again at me, pleading. You are like Burn Jones's damsels. Troublesome shadows are always crowding across your eyes and you cherish them. You think the flesh of the apple is nothing, nothing. You only care for the eternal pips. Why don't you snatch your apple and eat it and throw the core away? He looked at me sadly, not understanding, believing that I, in my wisdom, spoke truth, as she always believed when I lost her in a maze of words. She stooped down, and the
Starting point is 02:41:27 The chaplet fell from her hair, and only one bunch of berries remained. The ground around us was strewn with the forliped burrs of beech-nuts, and the quaint little nut pyramids was scattered among the ruddy fallen leaves. Emily gathered a few nuts. I love beech nuts, she said, but they make me long for my childhood again till I could almost cry out. To go out for beech nuts before breakfast, to thread them for necklaces before supper, to be the envy of the others at school next day. there was as much pleasure in a beech necklace then as there is in the whole autumn now and no sadness there are no more unmixed joys after you have grown up
Starting point is 02:42:07 kept her face to the ground as she spoke and she continued to gather the fruits do you find any with nuts in i asked not many here here are two three you have them no i don't care about them i stripped one of its horny brown coat and gave it to her she opened her mouth slightly to take it looking up into my eyes some people instead of bringing with them clouds of glory trailed clouds of sorrow they are born with the gift of sorrow sorrows they proclaim alone are real the veiled grey angels of sorrow work out slowly the beautiful shapes sorrow is beauty and the supreme blessedness he reached it in their eyes and in the tones of their voices emily had the gift of sorrow it fascinated me but it drove me to rebellion we followed the soft smooth-bitten turf road under the old beeches the hillside fell away dishevelled with thistles and coarse grass soon we were in sight of the kennels the red old kennels which had been the scene of so much animation in the time of lord baron they were empty now overgrown with weeds the bard The windows of the cottages were grey with dust. There was no need now to protect the windows from cattle, dog or man. One of the three houses was inhabited.
Starting point is 02:43:31 Clear water trickled through a wooden runnel into a great stone trough outside, near the door. Come here, said I to Emily. Let me fasten the back of your dress. Is it undone? she asked, looking quickly over her shoulder and blushing. As I was engaged in my task, her girl came out of the cottage with a black kettle and a teacup. and a teacup. She was so surprised to see me thus occupied that she forgot her own duty and stood open-mouthed. Suran, sir-an, called a voice from inside. Aren't they going to come in and shut that door? Sarah Anne hastily poured a few cups of water into the kettle, then she put down
Starting point is 02:44:09 both utensils and stood holding her bare arms to warm them. Her chief garment consisted of a skirt with grey bodice and red flannel skirt, very much torn. A black hair hung in wild tails onto her shoulders. We must go in here, said I, approaching the girl. She, however, hastily seized the kettle and ran in doors with them. Oh, mother! A woman came to the door. One breast was bare and hung over her blouse, which, like a dressing jacket, fell loose over her skirt.
Starting point is 02:44:41 Her fading, red-brown hair was all frowsy from the bed. In the folds of her skirt clung a swore the urchin with a shockingly short shirt. he stared at us with big black eyes the only portion of his face undecorated with egg and jam the woman's blue eyes questioned us languidly i told her our errand come in come in she said but let a look at the house the child has not been long up go in billy we're now torn we entered taking the forgotten kettle lid the kitchen was large but scantily furnished save indeed for children the eldest a girl of twelve or seven was standing toasting a piece of bacon with one hand and holding back her nitrous in the other. As the toast hand got scorched, she transferred the bacon to the other, gave the hot fingers a lick to cool them, and then held back her nitress again. Her all-burn hair hung in heavy coils down her gown. A boy sat on the steel fender, catching the dropping fat on a piece of bread.
Starting point is 02:45:45 One, two, three, four, five, six drops, and he quickly bit off the tasty corner and resumed the steel fender. the task with the other hand. When he entered he tried to draw his shirt over his knees which caused the fat to fall wasted. A fat baby evidently laid down from the breast, lay kicking on the squabre, purple in the face, while another lad was pushing bread and butter into its mouth. The mother swept to the sofa, poked up the bread and butter, pushed her finger into the baby's throat, lifted the child up, punched it back, and was highly relieved when began to yell. Then she administered a few sound spanks to the native buttocks of the crammer. He began to howl, but stopped suddenly on seeing us laughing. On the sackcloth, which served as
Starting point is 02:46:32 hathrug, sat a beautiful child washing the face of a wooden doll with tea and wiping it on her nightgown. At the table, an infant in a high chair sat sucking a piece of bacon, till the grease ran down his swarthy arms, oozing through his fingers. An old, lad stood in the big arm-chair, whose back was hung with the calf-skin, and was industriously pouring the dregs of the teacups into a basin of milk. The mother whisked away the milk and made a rush for the urchin, the baby hanging over her arm the while. "'I could half kill thee,' she said, but he had slid under the table, and sat serenely unconcerned. "'Could you—' I asked when the mother had put her bonny baby again to her breast,
Starting point is 02:47:15 "'Could you—' "'Lend me a knitting-needle? "'Ah, Sir Anne, where's thy knitting needles?' asked the woman, witnessing at the same time and putting her hand to the mouth of the sucking child. Catching my eye, she said, "'You wouldn't look credit how he bites. He's no but two teeth, but they like six needles.' She drew her brows together and pursed her lips, saying to the child, "'Morty lad, naughty lad, now should I have it?
Starting point is 02:47:40 No, not if to bites thy mother like that.' The family interest was now divided between us and the private concerns in process when we entered, save, however, that the bacon-sucker had sucked on solidly immovable all the time. "'Oh, Sam, where's my knitting? "'Thas I did,' cried Sir Ian, after a little search. "'Aina!' replied Sam from under the table. "'Yes, there is,' said the mother, giving a blind prod under the table with her foot. "'Aona, then!' persisted Sam.
Starting point is 02:48:10 The mother suggested various possible places of discovery, and at last the knitting was found at the back of the table drawer, among forks and old wooden skewers. I am to tell you where everything is, said the mother in mild reproach. Sir Anne, however, gave no heed to her parent. Her heart was torn for her knitting, the fruit of her labours. It was a red-wollen cuff for the winter. Her corkscrew was bored through the web, and the ball of red wool was bristling with skewers.
Starting point is 02:48:39 "'It's of thee, our son,' she wailed. "'I know it's of thee and thy ABC.' Samuel, under the table, croaked out in a voice of fierce monotony. "'Be is for porcupine whose bristle so strong, "'kill the broad lion by breaking his stung.' "'Mother began to shake with quiet laughter. "'His father learnt him that. Made it all up,'
Starting point is 02:49:00 "'she whispered proudly to us and to him. "'Tell us what bee is, son.' "'Shama,' grunted Sam. "'Go on, there's a dookie, "'and I make the atreak of pudding.' "'Today,' asked Sir Ryan, angrilyly. "'Go on, Sam, Midook,' persisted the mother. "'That's not got nor treacle,' said Sam, conclusively.
Starting point is 02:49:20 The needle was in the fire, the children stood about watching. "'Will you do it yourself?' I asked Emily. "'I?' she exclaimed with wide eyes of astonishment, and she shook her head emphatically. "'Then I must.' I took out the needle, holding it in my handkerchief. I took her hand and examined the wound. When she saw the hot glow of the needle, she snatched away her hand and looked into my eyes, laughing in a half hysterical fear and shame.
Starting point is 02:49:49 I was very serious, very insistent. She yielded me her hand again, biting her lips in imagination of the pain and looking at me. While my eyes were looking into hers, she had courage. When I was forced to pay attention to my quarterising, she glanced down, and with a sharp, a nodding in a little laugh, she put her hands behind her,
Starting point is 02:50:09 and looked again up at me with wide brown eyes, all quivering with apprehension, and a little shame. and a laughter that held much pleading, one of the children began to cry. "'It is no good,' said I, throwing the fast cooling needle onto the half. "'I gave the girls all the pennies I had. "'Then I offered Sam, who crept out of the shelter of the table, a sixpence. "'You ought to have that,' he said, turning from the small coin. "'Well, I have no more pennies, so nothing will be your share.'
Starting point is 02:50:43 I gave the other boy a rickety knife I had in my pocket. sam looked fiercely at me eager for revenge he picked up the porcupine quill by the hot end he dropped it with a shout of rage and seizing a cup off the table flung it at the fortunate jack it smashed against the fireplace the mother grabbed at sam but he was gone a girl a little girl wailed oh that's my rosy mug my rosy mug we fled from the scene of confusion emily had hardly noticed it her thoughts were of her thoughts were of her and of me. I am an awful coward, said she humbly. But I can't help it, she looked beseechingly. Never mind, said I. All my flesh seems to jump from it.
Starting point is 02:51:32 You don't know how I feel. Well, never mind. I couldn't help it not for my life. I wonder, said I, if anything could possibly disturb that young bacon sucker, he didn't even look round at the smash. no said she biting the tip of her finger moodily another conversation was interrupted by howls from the rear looking round we saw sam careering after us over the close-bidden turf howling scorn and derision at us rub it dale rub it dale he cried his bare little legs twinkling and his little shirt fluttering in the cold morning air fortunately at last he trod on a thyssal or a thorn for when we looked round again to see why he was silent he was capering on one leg leg, holding his wounded foot in his hands.
Starting point is 02:52:21 End of Part 1, Chapter 6. Part 1, Chapter 7 of The White Peacock by D.H. Lawrence. This Libri-Fox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Simon Evers. Part 1, Chapter 7. Letty pulls down of the small gold grapes. During the falling of the leaves, Lettie was very willful. She uttered many banalities concerning men and
Starting point is 02:52:58 love and marriage. She taunted Leslie and thwarted his wishes. At last he stayed away from her. She had been several times down to the mill, but because she fancied they were very familiar, receiving her on their rough plain like one of themselves, she stayed away. Since the death of our father she had been restless. Since inheriting her little fortune, she had become proud, scornful, difficult to please. Difficult to please in every circumstance. She, who had always been so rippling in thoughtless life, sat down in the window still to think, and her strong teeth bit at her handkerchief till it was torn in holes. She would say nothing to me. She read all things that dealt with modern women. One afternoon, Nettie walked over to Iberwich. Leslie had not been
Starting point is 02:53:51 to see us for a fortnight. There was a grey, dreary afternoon. the wind drifted a clammy fog across the hills and the roads were black and deep with mud the trees in the wood slouched sulkily it was a day to be shut out and ignored if possible i heaped up the fire and went to draw the curtains and make perfect the room then i saw letty coming along the path quickly very erect when she came in her colour was high tea not laid she said briefly rebecca has just brought in the lamp said i letty took off her coat and furs and flung them on the couch she went to the mirror lifted her hair all curled by the fog and stared haughtily at herself then she swung round looked at the bare table and rang the bell it was so rare a thing for us to ring the bell from the dining-room that rebecca went first to the outer door then she came in the room saying did you ring i thought tea would have been ready said letty coldly rebecca looked at me and at her and replied it has put half-past four i can bring it in mother came down hearing the clink of the teacups well she said to letty who was unlacing her boots and did you find it a pleasant walk except for the mud was the reply ah i guess you wished you'd stayed at home what a state for your boots and your skirts too i know here let me take them into the kitchen let rebecca take them said letty but mother was out of the room
Starting point is 02:55:34 when mother had poured out the tea we sat silently at table it was on the tip of our tongues to ask letty what ailed her but we were experienced and we refrained After a while she said, "'Do you know I met Leslie Tempest?' "'Oh,' said Mother tentatively, "'did he come along with you?' "'He did not look at me.' "'Oh!' exclaimed Mother, and it was speaking volumes. Then after a moment she resumed,
Starting point is 02:56:05 "'Perhaps he did not see you.' "'Or was it a stony Britisher?' I asked. "'He saw me,' declared Lettie, or he wouldn't have made such a babyish show of being delighted with Margaret Raymond. It may have been no show he still may not have seen you. I felt at once that he had, I could see his animation was extravagant. He need not have troubled himself. I was not going to run after him. You seem very cross, said I.
Starting point is 02:56:34 Indeed I am not. But he knew I had to walk all this way home, and he could take up Margaret, where I was only half the distance. Was he driving? In the dog-cart. Cut her toast into strips fisciously. We waited patiently. It was mean of him, wasn't it, Mother?
Starting point is 02:56:54 Well, my girl, you have treated him badly. What a baby! What a mean manly baby! Men are great infants! The girls, said Mother, do not know what they want. A grown-up quality, I added. Nevertheless, said Lettie, he is a mean fop and i detest him he rose and sorted out some stitchery let he never stitched unless she were in a bad humour mother smiled at me sighed and proceeded to mr gladstone for comfort her brevary a missal were maury's life of gladstone i had to take a letter to high close to mrs tempest from my mother concerning a bazaar in process of the church i will bring nesley back with me said i to myself
Starting point is 02:57:43 the night was black and hateful the lamps by the robe from eberwich ended at nethermere there a yellow blur on the water made the cold wet inferno of the night more ugly leslie and marie were both in the library half a library half a business office used also as a lounge-room being cosy leslie lay in a great arm-chair by the fire immune among clouds of blue smoke marie was perched on the steps a great volume on her knee leslie got up in his cloud shook hands greeted me curtly and vanished again marie smiled me a quaint vexed smile saying oh cyril i'm so glad you've come i'm so worried and leslie says he's not a pastry-cook though i'm sure i don't want him to be one only he need not be a bear what's the matter she frowned gave the big volume a little smack and said why i do so much want to make some of those spanish tartlets of your mothers that are so delicious and of course mabel knows nothing of them and they're not in my cookery book and i've looked through page upon page of the encyclopaedia right through spain and there's nothing yet and there are fifty pages more unless he won't help me though i've got a headache because he's frabs about something she looked at me in comical despair do you want them for the bazaar yes for to-morrow cook has done the rest But I had fairly set my heart on these. Don't you think they are lovely?
Starting point is 02:59:15 Exquisitely lovely. Suppose I go and ask Mother. If he would. But no, oh no, you can't make all that journey this terrible night. We are simply besieged by mud. The men are both out. William has gone to meet Father, and Mother has sent George to carry some things to the Vittakerage.
Starting point is 02:59:32 I can't ask one of the girls on a night like this. I should have to let it go, and the Crown-Bittarts too. It cannot be helped. I'm so miserable. Ask Leslie, said I. He's too cross, she replied, looking at him. He did not dare a remark. Will you, Leslie?
Starting point is 02:59:51 What? Go across to Woodside for me. What for? A recipe. Do, there's a dear boy. Where are the men? They're both engaged, they're out. Said a girl, then.
Starting point is 03:00:05 At night like this, who would go? Sissy. i shall not ask her isn't he mean cyril men are mean i will come back said i there's nothing at home to do mother is reading and letty is stitching the weather disagrees with her as it does with leslie but it is not fair she said looking at me softly then she put away the great book and climbed down won't you go leslie she said laying her hand on his shoulder women he said she said rising as if reluctantly. There's no end to their wants and their caprices. I thought he would go, said she warmly. She ran to fetch his overcoat. He put one arm slowly in the sleeve, and then the other, but he would not lift the coat onto his shoulders. Well, she said struggling on tiptoe, you are a great creature. Can't you get it on, naughty child?
Starting point is 03:01:02 Give her a chair to stand on, he said. She shook the collar of the coat sharply, but he stood like a sheep impassive. "'So you are too bad, I can't get it on, you stupid boy!' I took the coat and jerked it on. "'There,' she said, giving him his cap. "'Now don't be long.' "'What a damn dirty night,' said he, when we were out. "'It is,' said I.
Starting point is 03:01:29 "'The town anywhere is better than this hell of a country.' "'How did you enjoy yourself?' He began a long history of three days in the metropolis. I listened and heard little. I heard more plainly the cry of some night-birds over Nethermear, and the peevish, wailing, yarling cry of some beast in the wood. I was thankful to slam the door behind me, to stand in the light of the hall. "'Messly!' exclaimed Mother. "'I am glad to see you.' "'Thank you,' he said, turning to Lettie, who sat with her lap full of work, her head busily bent.
Starting point is 03:02:07 "'You see, I can't get up,' she said. giving him her hand adorned as it was by the thimble. How nice of you to come! We did not know you were back. But, he exclaimed, then he stopped. I suppose you enjoyed yourself, she went on calmly. Immensely, thanks. Snap, snap, snap, snap went her needle through the new stuff.
Starting point is 03:02:30 Then, without looking up, she said, Yes, no doubt, you have the air of a man who's been enjoying himself. How do you mean? a kind of guilty or, shall I say, embarrassed look. Don't you notice it, mother? I do, said my mother. I suppose it means we may not ask him questions, yet he concluded, always very busily sewing.
Starting point is 03:02:53 He laughed. She had broken her cotton and was trying to thread the needle again. What have you been doing this miserable weather? He inquired awkwardly. Oh, we have sat at home desolate. Ever of thee, I'm fondly dreamed. "'eeming, and so on, haven't we, Mother?' "'Well,' said Mother, I don't know.
Starting point is 03:03:13 "'We imagine him all sorts of lions up there.' "'What a shame we may not ask him to roar his old roars over for us,' said Lettie. "'What are they like?' he asked. "'How should I know? Like a sucking dove to judge from your present voice. A monstrous little voice.' He laughed uncomfortably. She went on saying, suddenly beginning to sing to herself. pussy cat pussy cat where have you been i've been up to london to see the fine queen pussy cat pussy cat what did you there i frightened a little mouse under the stair
Starting point is 03:03:51 i suppose she added that may be so poor mouse but i get she's none the worse you did not see the queen though he was not in london he replied sarcastically you don't she said taking two pins from between her teeth i suppose you don't mean by that she was in ebovich your queen i don't know where she was he answered angrily oh she said very sweetly i thought perhaps you had met her in ebovich when did you come back last night he replied oh why didn't you come and see us before i've been at the offices all day i've been up to ibewich she said innocently have you yes and i feel so cross because of it i thought i might see you i felt as if you were at home she stitched a little and glanced up secretly to watch his face redden then she continued innocently yes i felt you had come back it is funny how one has a feeling occasionally that some one is near when it is someone that one has a sympathy with he continued to stitch then she took a pin from her bosom and fixed her work all without the least suspicion of guidance I thought I might meet you when I was out." Another pause, another fixing, a pin to be taken from her lips. But I didn't.
Starting point is 03:05:16 I was at the office till rather late, he said quickly. She stitched away calmly, provokingly. She took the pin from her mouth again, fixed down a fold of stuff and said softly, You little liar. Mother had gone out of the room for her recipe book. recipe book. He sat on his chair, dumb with mortification. She stitched swiftly and unerring me. There was silence for some moments. Then he spoke. I did not know you wanted me for the pleasure of plucking this crow, he said. I wanted you, she exclaimed, looking up for the first time.
Starting point is 03:05:54 Who said I wanted you? No one. If you didn't want me, I may as well go. The sound of stitching alone broke the silence for some moments. Then she said deliberately, What made you think I wanted you? I don't care a damn whether you wanted me or whether you didn't. Seems to upset you. Don't use bad language. This is the privilege of those near and dear to one. That's why you begin it, I suppose. I cannot remember, she said loftily. He laughed sarcastively. Well, you've also been beastly cut up about it. He put this tentatively, expecting a soft answer. But she refused to speak and went on stitching.
Starting point is 03:06:41 He fidgeted about, twisting his cap uncomfortably and sighed. At last he said, Well, you, have we done then? He had the vast superiority in that she was engaged in ostentatious work. She could fix the cloth, regard it quizzically, rearrange it, settle down and begin to sew before she replied. This humbled him. At last she said, I thought so this afternoon.
Starting point is 03:07:09 But good God, Eddie, can't you drop it? And then? The question started him. Why, forget it, he replied. Well, she spoke softly, gently. He answered to the call like an eager hound. He crossed quickly to her side as she sat saying, and said in a low voice, You do care something for me, don't you, Letty?
Starting point is 03:07:36 Well, it was modulated kindly a sort of a promise of assent. You have treated me rottenly, you know, haven't you? You know, I... well, I care a good bit. It's a queer way of showing it. A voice was now a gentle reproof, the sweetest of surrenders and forgiveness. Lean forward, took her face in his hands, and kissed her, murmuring. you are a little tease she laid her saying in her lap and looked up the next day sunday broke wet and dreary breakfast was late and about ten o'clock we stood at the window looking upon the impossibility of our going to church there was a driving drizzle of rain like a dirty curtain before the landscape the desertium leaves by the garden walk had gone rotten in a frost and the gay green disks had given place to the first black flags of winter
Starting point is 03:08:35 hung of flaccid stalks, pinched at the neck. The grass plot was strewn with fallen leaves, wet and brilliant. Scarlet splashes of Virginia creeper, golden drift from the limes, ruddy brown shawls under the beaches, and away back in the corner the black mat of maple leaves heavily soddened. They ought to have been a vivid lemon colour. Occasionally one of these great black leaves would loose its hold and zigzagged down, staggering in the dance of death.
Starting point is 03:09:09 There now, said Nettie suddenly. I looked up in time to see a crow close his wings and clutch the topmost bough of an old grey holly tree on the edge of the clearing. He flapped again, recovered his balance, and folded himself up in black resignation to the detestable weather. Why is the old wretch settled just over our noses? said Nettie petulantly,
Starting point is 03:09:32 just to blot the promise of a sorrow. yours or mine i asked he's looking at me i declare you can see the wicked pupil of his eye at this distance i insinuated well she replied determined to take this omen upon herself i saw him first one for sorrow two for joy three for a letter four for a boy five for silver six for gold and seven for a secret never told you may bet he's only a messenger in advance there'll be three more shorth shortly and you'll have your four," said I, comforting. You know, she said, it is very funny, but whenever I'm particularly noticed one crow, I've had some sorrow or other. And when you've noticed four, I asked, you should have had old Mrs. Wagstaff," was her reply. She declares an old crow croaked in the apple tree every day for a week before Jerry got drowned.
Starting point is 03:10:30 Great sorrow for her, I remarked. Oh, but she wept abundantly. i felt like weeping too but somehow i laughed he hoped he'd gone to heaven but-i'm sick of that work but it is always twangling one's thoughts but jerry i insisted oh she lifted up her forehead and the tears dripped off her nose he must have been an old nuisance sip i can't understand why women marry such men i feel downright glad to think of the drunken old wretch toppling into the canal out of the way he pulled the thick curtain across the window and nestled down in it resting her cheek against the edge protecting herself from the cold window-pane a wet grey wind shook the half-naked trees whose leaves dripped and shone suddenly even the trunks were blackened trickling with the rain which drove persistently well down the sky like black maple leaves caught up aloft came two more crows they swept down and plung hold of the trees in front of the house staying near the old forerunner that he watched them half amused half melancholy one bird was carried past he swerved round and began to battle up the wind rising higher and rowing laboriously against the driving wet current here comes your forth said i she did not answer but continued to watch the bird wrestled heroically but the wind pushed him aside tilted him caught under his broad wings and bore him down
Starting point is 03:12:04 he swept in level flight down the stream outspread and still as if fixed in despair i grieve for him sadly two of his fellows rose and were carried away after him like souls hunting for a body to inhabit and despairing. When in the first ghost was left on the withered, silver-gray skeleton of the holly, he won't even say never more, I remarked. He has more sense, replied Lettie. She looked at trifle lugubrious. Then she continued, Better say never more than ever more.
Starting point is 03:12:41 Why, I asked. Oh, I don't know. Fancy this evermore. She'd been sure her own soul that Leslie would come. Now she began to doubt. things were very perplexing the bell in the kitchen jangled she jumped up i went and opened the door he came in she gave him one bright look of satisfaction he saw it and understood helen has got some people over i've been awfully rude to leave them now he said quietly what a dreadful day said mother oh fearful your face is red letty what have you been doing Looking into the fire, what did you see?
Starting point is 03:13:26 The pictures would come play, nothing. He laughed. We were silent for some time. You were expecting me, he murmured. Yes, I knew you'd come. They were left alone. He came up to her and put his arm round her as she stood with her elbow on the metal piece. You do want me, he pleaded softly. Yes, she murmured.
Starting point is 03:13:52 he held her in his arms and kissed her repeatedly again and again till she was out of breath and put up her hand and gently pushed her face away you are a cold little lover you are a shy bird he said laughing into her eyes he saw her tears rise swimming on her lids but not falling why my love my darling why he put his face to hers and took the tear on his cheek i know you love me he said gently all tenderness you know he murmured i can positively feel the tears rising up from my heart and throat they're quite painful gathering my love there you can do anything with me they were silent for some time after a while a rather long while she came upstairs and found mother and at the end of some minutes i heard my mother go to him i sat by my window and watched the low clouds reel and stagger past it seemed as if everything were being swept along i myself seemed to have lost my substance to become detached from concrete things and the firm trodden pavement of everyday life onward always onward not knowing where nor why the wind the clouds the rain and the birds and the leaves everything were willing along why all this time the old crow sat motionless though the clouds tumbled and were rent and piled though the trees bent and the window-pane shivered with running water then i found it had ceased to rain that there was a sickly yellow gleam of sunlight brightening on some great elm-leaves near at hand till they looked like ripe lemons hanging the crow looked at me i was certain he looked at me
Starting point is 03:15:45 what do you think of it all i asked him he eyed me with contempt great featherless half-winged bird as i was incomprehensible contemptible but awful i believe he hated me but said i if a raven could answer why won't you he looked wearily away nevertheless my gaze disquarted him he turned uneasily he rose waved his winged his he turned uneasily he rose waved his wings as if for flight poised then settled defiantly down again you are no good said i you won't help even with a word he sat stolidly unconcerned then i heard the lapwings in the meadow crying crying they seemed to seek the storm yet to rail at it they wheeled in the wind yet never ceased to complain of it they enjoyed the struggle and lamented it in wild lament through which came a sound of exultation all the lap-wings cried cried the same tale bitter bitter the struggle for nothing nothing nothing and all the time they swung about on their broad wings revelling there said i to the crow they'd try it and find it bitter for they wouldn't like to miss it to sit still like you you old corpse during all this, he rose in defiance, flapped his wings, and launched off, uttering one core of sinister foreboding. He was soon whirled away. I discovered that I was very cold,
Starting point is 03:17:24 so I went downstairs. Pretty little curl round his finger, one of those loose curls that always dance free from the captured hair. Leslie said, Look how fond your hair is of me. Look how twines around my finger. Do you know, your hair, the light in it is like, oh, buttercups in the sun. It is like me. It won't be kept in bounds, she replied. Shame if it were. Like this, it brushes my face, so, and sets me tingling like music. Behave, now be still, and I'll tell you what sort of music you make. Oh, well, tell me. Like the calling of throstles and burlackies in the evening, frightening the pale little wooden enemies, till they run panting and sort of, swaying right up to our wall. Like the ringing of bluebells where the bees are at them.
Starting point is 03:18:20 Like Hipponamonese, out of breath, laugh him because he's won, he said with rapturous admiration. Marriage music, sir, she added. What golden apples did I throw? he asked lightly. What? she exclaimed, half-mocking. This Atalanta, he replied, looking levelling upon her. This Atalanta. i believe she just lagged at last on purpose you have it she cried laughing submitting to his caresses it was you the apples of your firm heels the apples of your eyes the apples eve bit that won me
Starting point is 03:19:00 that was it you are clever you are rare and i've won the ripe apples of your cheeks and your breasts and your very fists they can't stop me and all your roundness and warmth and softness I've won you, Letty. She nodded wickedly, saying, All those, those, yes. Oh, she admits it, everything. Oh, but let me breathe. Did you claim everything? Yes, and you gave it me.
Starting point is 03:19:34 Not yet. Everything, though. Every atom. But now you look. Did I look aside? With the inward eye. Suppose now we were two angels. Oh dear, a sloppy angel.
Starting point is 03:19:50 Well, don't interrupt now. Suppose I were one like the Blessed Damazil. With a warm bosom. Don't be foolish now. I, a Blessed Damazil, and you kicking the brown beech leaves below thinking, What are you driving at? Would you be thinking thoughts like prayers? What on earth do you ask that for?
Starting point is 03:20:13 No, I think I'd be cursing, eh? no say fragrant prayers that your thin soul might mount up hang thin souls letty i'm not one of your solely sort i can't stand pre raphalites you-you're not a burn jones is and you're an albert maul i think there's more of the warm touch of a soft body than in a prayer i'll pray with kisses and when you can't i'll wait till prayer time again by jove i'd rather feel my arms full of you I'd rather touch that red mouth, you grudger, than sing hymns with you in any heaven. I'm afraid you'll never sing hymns with me in heaven. Well, I have you here. Yes, I have you now. Our life is but a fading dawn. Liar! Well, you called me. Besides, I don't care.
Starting point is 03:21:08 Carpe dear, my rosebud, my fall. There's a nice carman about a fall. Time to leave its mother, and venture into a warm embrace. Poor old Horace I'd forgotten him. Then poor old Horace! Well, I shan't forget you. What's that queer look in your eyes? What is it?
Starting point is 03:21:30 May, you tell me, you're such a tease as no getting to the bottom of you. You can fathom the depth of a kiss. I will. I will. After a while, he asked. When shall we be properly engaged, Oh, wait till Christmas, till I'm twenty-one.
Starting point is 03:21:51 Nearly three months? Why on earth? It'll make no difference. I should be able to choose thee of my own free choice then. But three months? I shall consider the engaged. It doesn't matter about other people. I thought we should be married in three months. Ah, married in haste. But what would your mother say? Say, oh, she'll say it's the first wise thing. thing I've done. You'll make a fine wife, Letty, able to entertain and all that. You will flutter brilliantly. We will. No, you'll be the moth. I'll paint your wings, gaudy feather dust. Then when you lose your coloured dust, when you fly too near the light, or when you play dodge with a butterfly net, away goes my part. You can't fly. I, alas, poor me.
Starting point is 03:22:42 What becomes of the feather dust when the moth brushes his wings against a butterfly net? What are you making so many words about you don't know now, do you? No, that I don't. Then just be comfortable. Let me look at myself in your eyes. Narcissus, Narcissus, do you see yourself well? Does the image flatter you? Or is it a troubled stream distorting your fair linearments?
Starting point is 03:23:08 I can't see anything. I only feel you looking. You're laughing at me. What have you behind there? What joke? I'm thinking you're just like Nossus as a sweet, beautiful youth. Be serious, do. It would be dangerous.
Starting point is 03:23:28 You die of it and I should... What? Be just like I am now. Serious. He looked proudly, thinking she referred to the earnestness of her love. In the wood, the wind rumbled and roared hoarsely overhead, but not a breath stirred among the saddened bracken. An occasional raindrop was shaken out of the trees.
Starting point is 03:23:55 I slipped on the wet paths. Black bars striped the grey tree trunks where water had trickled down. The bracken was overthrown, its yellow ranks broken. I slid down the steep path to the gate, out of the wood. Armies of cloud marched in rank across the sky, heavily laden, almost brushing the gorse on the common. The wind was cold and disheartening. The ground sobbed at every step. The brook was full, swirling along, hurrying, talking to itself in absorbed intent tones. The clouds darkened.
Starting point is 03:24:33 I felt the rain. The gallows of the mud I ran and burst into the farm kitchen. The children were painting and they immediately claimed my help. Emily and George are in the front room, said the mother quietly, for it was Sunday afternoon. I satisfied the little ones. I said a few words to the mother and sat down to take off my clogs. In the parlour, the father, big and comfortable,
Starting point is 03:24:59 was sleeping in an armchair. Emily was writing at the table. She hurriedly hid her papers when I entered. George was sitting by the fire, reading. He looked up as I entered, and I loved him when he looked up at me, and as he lingered on his quiet, Hello.
Starting point is 03:25:16 His eyes were busy. beautifully eloquent, as eloquent as a kiss. We talked in subdued murmurs, because the father was asleep, opulently asleep, his tan face as still as a brown pear against the wall. The clock itself went slowly with languid throbs. We gathered round the fire and talked quietly, about nothing, blissful merely in the sound of our voices, a murmured soothing sound, a grateful, dispassionate love trio. At last George Rose put down his book, looked at his father, and went out. In the barn there was a sound of the palper crunching the turnips.
Starting point is 03:25:59 The crisp strips of turnips sprinkled quietly down onto a heap of gold which grew beneath the palper. A smell of pulped turnips, keen and sweet, brings back to me the feeling of many winter nights, when frozen hoof prints crunch in the yard and around is in the south when a friendship was at its mystical best. Part beyond Sunday, I exclaimed. Father didn't do it yesterday. It's his work and I didn't notice it. You know, Father often forgets. He doesn't like to have to work in the afternoon now.
Starting point is 03:26:34 The cattle stirred in their stalls. The chains rattled round the posts. A cow coughed noisily. When Georgia finished palping and it was quiet enough for talk, just as he was spreading the first layer of chop and turnip and meal, in ran Emily with her hair in silken, twining confusion, her eyes glowing, to bid us to go into tea before the milking was begun. It was the custom to milk before tea on Sunday, but George abandoned it without demure. His father willed it so, and his father was master, not to be questioned on farm-man. as however one disagreed. The last day in October had been dreary enough. The night could not come too early. We had tea by lamp-light, merrily, with the father radiating comfort as the lamp shone yellow light. Sunday tea was imperfect without a visitor. With me, they always declared, it was perfect. I love to hear them say so. I smiled, rejoicing quietly into my tea-cup, when the father said, It seems proper to have Cyril here at Sunday tea, it seems natural.
Starting point is 03:27:46 He was most loath to break the delightful bond of the lamplit tea table. He looked up with a half-appealing glance when George at last pushed back his chair and said he supposed he'd better make a start. Aye, said the father, in a mild, conciliatory tone, I'll be out in a minute. The lamp hung against the barn wall, softly illuminating the lower part of the building, where bits of hay and white dust lay in the hollows between the bricks, where the curled chips of turnips scattered orange gleams over the earth and floor. The lofty roof, with its swallows nests under the tiles, was deep in shadow,
Starting point is 03:28:25 and the corners were full of darkness, hiding, half-hiding, the hay, the chopper, the bins. The light shone along the passages before the stalls, glistening on the moist noses of the cattle, and on the whitewash of the wall. George was very cheerful, but I wanted to tell him my message. When he finished the feeding and I had at last sat down to milk, I said, I told you Lizzie Tempice was at our house when I came away. He sat with a bucket between his knees, his hands at the cows' udder, about to begin to milk. He looked up a question at me.
Starting point is 03:29:04 They are practically engaged now, I said. He did not turn his head. his eyes away, but he ceased to look at me. As one who was listening for a far-off noise, he sat with his eyes fixed. Then he bent his head and leaned it against the sight of the cow as if he would begin to milk. But he did not. The cow looked round and stirred uneasily. He began to draw the milk and then to milk mechanically. I watched the movement of his hands, listening to the rhythmic clang of the jets of milk on the bucket as a relief. after a while the movement of his hands became slower thoughtful then stopped she is really said yes i nodded and what does your mother say she is pleased began to milk again
Starting point is 03:29:58 the cow stirred uneasily shifting her legs he looked at her angrily and went on milking then quite upset she shifted again and swung her tail in his face stand still he shouted he shouted striking her on the haunch. She seemed to cower like a beaten woman. He swore at her and continued to milk. She did not yield much that night. She was very restive. He took the stool from beneath him and gave her a good blow. I heard the stool knock on her prominent hip bone. After that she stood still, but her milk soon ceased to flow. When he stood up, he paused before he went to the next beast. and i thought he was going to talk but just then the father came along with his bucket he looked in the shed and laughing in his mature pleasant way said so you're an on liquor to-day cyril i thought you'd have built a cow or two for me by now nay said i sunday is a day of rest and milking makes your hands ache you only want a bit more practice he said joking in his right fashion why george is that all you've got from julia it is oh it'll soon going dry julia old lady don't go and turn skinny when he'd gone and the shed was still the air seemed colder
Starting point is 03:31:24 i heard his good human stand over old lass from the other shed and the drumbeats of the first jets of milk on the pail he has a comfortable time said george looking savage i laughed he still waited you really expected letty to have him i said i suppose so he replied then she made up her mind to it it didn't matter what she wanted at the bottom you said i if it hadn't been that he was a prize with a ticket she'd have had you said i she was afraid look how she turned and kept away from you said i i should like to squeeze her till she screamed you should have gripped her before and kept her said i she's like a woman like a cat running to comfort she strikes a bargain women are all tradesmen don't generalise it's no good she's like a prostitute it's banal i believe she loves him he started and looked at me queerly he looked quite childish in his doubt and but he looked quite childish in his doubt and perplexity. She, what? Loves him, honestly. She did love me better, he muttered, and turned to his milking. I left him and went to talk to his father. When the latter's four beasts were finished, George's light still shone in the other shed. I went and found him at the fifth,
Starting point is 03:33:04 the last, Cai. When at length he had finished, he put down his pail, and, going over to poor junior, stood scratching her back and her pole and her nose looking into her big startled eye and murmuring he was afraid she jerked her head giving him a good blow on the cheek with her horn you can't understand them he said sadly rubbing his face and looking at me with his dark serious eyes i never knew i couldn't understand them i never thought about it still she knows cyril she led me on i laughed at it his rueful appearance. End of Part 1, Chapter 7. Part 1, Chapter 8 of The White Peacock by D.H. Lawrence. This Libre of Vox recording is in the public domain, according by Simon Evers. Part 1, Chapter 8, The Riot of Christmas.
Starting point is 03:34:16 For some weeks, during the latter part of November and the beginning of December, I was kept indoors by a cold. At last came a frost which cleared the air and dried the mud. on the second saturday before christmas the world was transformed tall silver and pearl-gray trees rose pale against a dim blue sky like trees in some rare pale paradise the whole woodland was if petrified in marble and silver and snow the holly leaves and long leaves of the rhododendron were rimmed and spangled with delicate tracery when the night came clear and bright with a moon among the haw-frost i rebelled against confined and the house. No longer the mists and dank weather made the home dear. Tonight even the glare of the distant little ironworks was not visible, for the low clouds were gone, and pale stars blinked from beyond the moon. Letty was staying with me. Leslie was in London again. She tried to
Starting point is 03:35:17 remonstrate in a sisterly fashion when I said I would go out. Only down to the mill, said I. Then she hesitated a while, said she would come too. i suppose i looked at her curiously for she said oh if you would rather go alone come come yes come said i smiling to myself letty was in her old animated mood she ran leaping over rough places laughing talking to herself in french we came to the mill jib did not bark i opened the outer door and we crept softly into the great dark scullery peeping into the kitchen through the crack of the door the mother sat by the hearth where it was a big bath half full of soapy water and at her feet warming his bare legs at the fire was david who had just been bathed the mother was gently rubbing his fine fair hair into a cloud molly was combing out her brown curls sitting by her father who in the fire-seat was reading aloud in a hearty voice with quaint precision at the table sat emily and george she was quickly picking over a pile of the little yellow raisins and he slowly with his head sunk was stoning the large raisins david kept reaching forward to play with the sleepy cat interrupting his mother's rubbing there was no sound but the voice of the father full of zest i'm afraid they were not all listening carefully i clicked the latch and entered letty exclaimed george cyril cried emily zill right shouted david
Starting point is 03:36:54 hello cyril said molly six large brown eyes round with surprise welcomed me they overwhelmed me with questions and made much of us at length they were settled and were settled and quiet again. Yes, I'm a stranger, said Letty, who'd taken off her hat and furs and coat. But you do not expect me often, do you? I may come at times, eh? We're only too glad, replied the mother. Nothing all day long but the sound of the sluice, and mists and rotten leaves. I'm thankful to hear a fresh voice.
Starting point is 03:37:30 Is Cyril really better, Lettie? asked Emily softly. He's a spoiled boy. I believe he keeps a little bit ill so that we can care. eat him. Let me help you. Let me peel the apples. Yes, yes, I will." He went to the table and occupied one side with her apple peeling. George had not spoken to her. So she said, I won't help you. George, because I don't like to feel my fingers so sticky and because I love to see you so domesticated. You'll enjoy the sight a long time, then, for these things are numberless.
Starting point is 03:38:02 You should eat one now and then. I always do. If I have one, I should eat the lot. "'Then he may give me your one.' He passed her a handful without speaking. "'That is too many. Your mother is looking. "'Let me just finish this apple. "'There, I've not broken the peel.' "'She stood up, holding up a long curling strip of peel. "'How many times must I swing it, Mrs. Saxon?'
Starting point is 03:38:28 "'Three times, but it's not all Hallows Eve. "'Never mind, look.' "'She carefully swung the long band of green peel over her head three times, letting it fall the third. The cat pounced on it, but Molly swept him off again. What is it? cried Lettie, blushing. Gee, said the father, winking and laughing. The mother looked daggers at him. It isn't nothing, said David naively, forgetting his confusion at being in the presence of a lady in his shirt. Molly remarked in her cool way, it might be a Hess if you couldn't write. Or an L, I added.
Starting point is 03:39:07 then it looked over at me imperiously and i was angry what do you say emily she asked nay said emily it's only you can see the right letter tell us what's the right letter said george to her i exclaimed letty who could look into the seeds of time those you have set em and watched em sprout said i she flung the peal into the fire laughing a short laugh and went on with her work mrs saxton leaned over to her daughter and said softly said that she should not hear that george was pulling the flesh out of the raisins george said emily sharply you are leaving nothing but the husks he too was angry and he would fain fill his belly with the husks that the swine did eat he said quietly taking a handful of the fruit he had picked and putting some in his mouth emily snatched away the basin it is too bad she said here said Lettie, handing him an apple she appealed. You may have an apple, greedy boy. He took it and looked at it. Then a malicious smile twinkled round his eyes, as he said,
Starting point is 03:40:16 If you give me the apple, to whom will you give the peel? The swine, she said, as if she only understood his first reference to the prodigal son. He put the apple on the table. Don't you want it, she said. Mother, he said comically, as if jesting, she's offering me the apple like eve like a flash she snatched the apple from him hid it in her skirts a moment looking at him with dilated eyes and then she flung it at the fire she missed and the father leaned forward and picked it off the hob saying the pigs may as well have it you were slow george when a lady offers you a thing you don't have to make mouths a kielparais she cried laughing now at her ease boisterously is she making love emily asked the father laughing suggestively.
Starting point is 03:41:06 She set it too fast for me, said Emily. George was leaning back in his chair, his hands in his breeches pockets. We shall have to finish his raisins after all, Emily, said Lettie brightly. Look what a lazy animal he is. He likes his comfort, said Emily with irony. The picture of content,
Starting point is 03:41:27 solid, healthy, easy-moving content, continued Lettie, as he sat thus with his head thrown back against the end of the ankle seat, coatless, his redneck seen in repose. It indeed looked remarkably comfortable. "'I shall never fret my fat away,' he said stolidly. "'No, you and I, we are not like Cyril. We do not burn our bodies and our hides, or our hearts, do we?' "'We have it in common,' said he, looking at her indifferently beneath his lashes as his head was tilted back. Lettie went on with a pairing and coring of her apples.
Starting point is 03:42:03 then she took the raisins meanwhile emily was making the house ring as she chopped the suet in a wooden bowl the children were ready for bed they kissed us all good-night save george at last they were gone accompanied by their mother emily put down her chopper and sighed that her arm was aching so i relieved her the chopping went on for a long time while the father read letty worked and george sat tilted back looking on well at length the mincemeat was finished we were all out of work letty helped to clear away sat down talked a little with effort jumped up and said i'm too excited to sit still it's so near christmas let us play at something a dance said emily a dance a dance he suddenly sat straight and got up come on he said he kicked off his slippers regardless of the holes in his stocking feet and put away the chairs he held out his arm to her she came with a laugh and away they went dancing over the great flagged kitchen at an incredible speed her light flying steps following his leaps you could hear the quick light tap of her toes more plainly than the thud of his stocking feet emily and i joined in emily's movements are naturally slow but we danced at great speed i was hot and perspiring and she was panting when i put her in a chair But they whirled on in the dance, on and on till I was giddy, till the father, laughing, cried that they should stop. But George continued the dance.
Starting point is 03:43:37 Her hair was shaken loose and fell at a great coil down her back. Her feet began to drag. You could hear a light slur on the floor. She was panting. I could see her lips murmured to him, begging him to stop. He was laughing with open mouth, holding her tight. At last her feet trailed. He lifted her, clasping her tightly, and danced twice round the room.
Starting point is 03:43:58 with her thus. Then he fell with a crash on the sofa, pulling her beside him. His eyes glowed like coals. He was panting in sobs, and his hair was wet and glistening. She lay back on the sofa, with his arms still around her, not moving. She was quite overcome. Her hair was wild about her face. Emily was anxious. The father said with a shade of inquietude, You've overdone it. It is very foolish. when at last she recovered her breath and her life she got up and laughing in a queer way began to put up her hair she went into the scullery where were the brush and combs and emily followed with a candle when she returned ordered once more with a little pallor succeeding the flush and with a great black stain of sweat on her leather belt where his hand had held her he looked up at her from his position on the sofa with a peculiar glance of triumph smiling you great brute she said but her voice was not as harsh as her words he gave a deep sigh sat up and laughed quietly another he said will you dance with me at your pleasure come then a minuet
Starting point is 03:45:13 don't know it nevertheless you must dance it come along he reared up and walked to her side she put him through the steps even dragging him round the walls it was very ridiculous when it was finished she bowed him to his seat and wiping her hands on her handkerchief because his shirt where her hand had rested on his shoulders was moist she thanked him i hope you enjoyed it he said ever so much she replied you made me look a fool so no doubt you did you think you could look a fool why you are ironical samush in other words you have come on but it is a sweet dance he looked at her low at his eyelids and said nothing ah well she laughed some are bred for the minuet and some for less tomfoolery he answered ah you call it tomfoolery because you cannot do it myself i like it so-and-i and i can't do it and i can't do it could you did you you're not built that way sort of clarence mcfadden he said lighting a pipe as if the conversation did not interest him yes what ages since we sang that clarence mcfadden he wanted to dance but his feet were not gated that way i remember we sang it after one corn harvest we had a fine time i never thought of you before us clarence it is very funny by the way will you come to our party Christmas. When? Who's coming? The twenty-six. Oh, only the old people, Alice, Tom Smith, Fanny, those from High Close. And what will you do? Sing charades, dance a little, anything you like?
Starting point is 03:46:57 Polka and Minuettes and Volitas. Come and dance a Volita, Cyril. She made me take her through a volita, a Minuet, a mazurka, and she danced elegantly, but with a little of Carmen's ostentation, her dash and devilry. When we had finished the father said, Very pretty, very pretty indeed. They do look nice, don't they, George? I wish I was young. As I am, said George, laughing bitterly. Show me how to do them sometime, Cyril, said Emily, in her pleading way, which is pleased Lettie so much. Why don't you ask me? said the latter quickly. Well, but you're not often here. I am here now. Come.
Starting point is 03:47:39 and she waved Emily imperiously to the attempt. Letty, as I've said, is tall approaching six feet. She is listened, but firmly moulded by nature graceful. In her poise and a harmonious movement I reveal the subtle sympathies of her artist's soul. The other is shorter, much heavier. In her every emotion you can see the extravagance of her emotional nature.
Starting point is 03:48:04 She quivers with feeling. Emotion conquers and carries havoc through her. for she has not a strong intellect nor a heart of light humour her nature is brooding and defenceless she knows herself powerless in the tumart of her feelings and adds to her misfortunes a profound mistrust of herself as they danced together letty and emily they showed in striking contrast my sister's ease and beautiful poetic movement was exquisite the other could not control her movements but repeated the same error again and again she gripped letty's hand fiercely and glanced up with eyes full of humiliation and terror of her continued failure and passionate trembling hopeless desire to succeed to show her to explain made matters worse as soon as she trembled on the brink of an action the terror had not been able to perform it properly blinded her and she was conscious of nothing but that she must do something in a turmoil at last letty ceased to talk and merely swung her through the dances haphazard this way succeeded better so long as emily did not need to think about her actions she had a large free grace and the swing and rhythm and time were imparted through her senses rather than through her intelligence it was time for supper the mother came down for a while and we talked quietly at random
Starting point is 03:49:33 letty did not utter a word about her engagement not a suggestion she made it seem as if things were just as before although i am sure she had discovered that i had told george she intended that we should play as if ignorant of her bond after supper when we were ready to go home letty said to him by the way you must send us some mistletoe for the party with plenty of berries you know are there many berries on your mistletoe this year i do not know i have never looked we'll go and see if you like george answered but would you come out into the cold he ruled on his boots and his coat and twisted a scarf round his neck the young moon had gone it was very dark the liquid stars wavered the great knight filled us with awe lettick put hold of my arm and held it tightly he passed out in front to open the gates we went down to the front garden over the turf bridge where the sluice rushed coldly under on to the broad slope of the bank we could just distinguish the gnarled old apple-trees leaning about us we bent our heads to avoid the boughs and followed george he hesitated a moment saying let me see i think there are there there are two trees with mistletows on he came followed silently yes he said here they are we went close and peered into the old trees we could just see the dark bush of the mistletoe between the boughs of the tree let him go to laugh have we come to cut the berries she said i can't even see the mistletoe he leaned forward and upwards to pierce the darkness he also straining to look felt her breath on his cheek and turning saw the pallor of her face close to his and felt the dark glow of her eyes he caught her in his arms and held her mouth in a kiss then when he released her he turned away saying something incoherent about going to fetch the lantern
Starting point is 03:51:36 to look. She remained with her back towards me and pretended to be feeling among the mistletoe for the berries. Soon I saw the swing of the hurricane lamp below. He's bringing the lantern, said I. When he came up, he said, and his voice was strange and subdued. Now we can see what it's like. He went near and held up the lamp so that it illuminated both their faces and the fantastic boughs of the trees and the weird bush of mistletoe sparsely purled with berries. Instead of looking at the berries, they looked into each other's eyes. His lids flickered, and he flushed in the yellow light of the lamp looking warm and handsome. He looked upwards in confusion and said,
Starting point is 03:52:22 There are plenty of berries. As a matter of fact, there were very few. She too looked up and murmured her assent. The light seemed to hold them as in a globe, in another world, apart from the night in which I stood. Put up his hand and broke off a sprig of mistletoe with berries, and offered it to her. They looked into each other's eyes again. She put the mistletoe among her furs looking down at her bosom.
Starting point is 03:52:51 They remained still in the centre of light with the lamp uplifted. The red and black scarf wrapped loosely round his neck, gave him a luxurious, generous look. He lowered the lamp, and said, affecting disliked. speak naturally. Yes, there is plenty this year. You will give me some, she replied, turning away and finally breaking the spell. When shall I cut it? He strode beside her swinging the lamp as he went down the bank to go home. He came as far as the brooks without saying another word. Then he bade us good-night. When he had lighted her over the stepping-stones, she did not take
Starting point is 03:53:29 my arm as we walked home. During the next two weeks we were busy preparing for Christmas. ranging the woods for the reddest holly and pulling the gleaming ivy bunches from the trees from the farms around came the cruel yelling of pigs and in the evening later was a scent of pork pies far off on the highway could be heard the sharp trot of ponies hastening with christmas goods there the carts of the hucksters dashed by to the expectant villages triumphed with great bunches of light foreign mistletoe gay with oranges peeping through the boxes and scarlet intrusion of apples and wild confusion of cold dead poultry the hucksters waved their whips triumphantly the little pennies rattled bravely under the sycamores towards christmas in the late afternoon of the twenty fourth when dust was rising under the hazel break i was walking with letty all among the mesh of twigs overhead was tangled a dark red sky the bowls of the trees grew denser almost blue tramping down the riding we met two boys fifteen or sixteen years old their clothes were largely patched with tough cotton mulskin scars were knotted round their throats and in their pockets rolled tin bottles full of tea and the white knobs of their knotted snap bags why said nettie are you going to work on christmas eve it looks like it don't it said the elder and what time would you be coming back at half-past two christmas morning you'll be able to look out for the herald angels and the star said i they think me it was too dirty little uns said the younger lad laughing the lapel are done before we get up to the top added the elder boy and they now venture down the shaft
Starting point is 03:55:20 if they did put in the other he'd have to bath them after i give em a bit of mi pasty come on said the elder sarkily they trapped off slurring their heavy boots merry christmas i called after them in the morning replied the older same to you said the younger and he began to sing with a tinge of bravado in the fields with their flocks abiding they lay on the dewy ground "'A ante,' said, Eddie, those boys are working for me.' "'We were all going to the party at Highclose. I happened to go into the kitchen about half-past seven. The lamp was turned low, and Rebecca sat in the shadows. On the table, in the night of the lamp, I saw a glass vase with five or six very beautiful Christmas roses. "'And Rebecca, who sent you these?' said I. "'They're not sent,' replied Rebecca, from the depth of the shadow, with suspicions of tears in her voice.
Starting point is 03:56:17 why I never saw them in the garden perhaps not but I've watched them these three weeks and kept them under glass for Christmas they aren't beauties I thought someone must have sent them to you it's little as has ever been sent me replied Rebecca
Starting point is 03:56:33 unless as will be why what's the matter nothing whom are to have anything the matter nobody nor I was nor ever will be and I'm getting old as well something's upset you Becky what does it matter of it as what are my feelings a bunch of feldar old flowers as a guarded clip-sword we never have thought is preferred before mine as i've fettled after this three week i can sit at home to keep my flowers company nobody wants them
Starting point is 03:57:01 remembered that letty was wearing hot-house flowers she was excited and full of the idea of the party at highclose i can imagine her quick oh no thank you rebecca i've had a spray sent to me never mind becky said i she is excited to-night And I'm easy forgotten. So are we all, Becky? Tom Mew. At high close Lettie made a stir. Among the little bells of the countryside she was decidedly the most distinguished. She was brilliant, moving as if in a drama. Leslie was enraptured, ostentatious in his admiration, proud of being so well infatuated.
Starting point is 03:57:42 They looked into each other's eyes when they met, both triumphant, excited, blazing arched looks at one another. Letty was enjoying her public demonstration immensely. It exhilarated her into quite a vivid love for him. He was magnificent in response. Meanwhile, the honoured lady of the house, pompous and ample, sat aside with my mother conferring her patronage on the latter amiable little woman, who smiled sardonically and watched Lettie. It was a splendid party. It was brilliant. It was dazzling. with several ladies and honourably kissed each under the mistletoe, except that two of them kissed me first. It was all done in a most correct manner.
Starting point is 03:58:25 "'You wolf,' said Miss Wookiee arched, "'I believe you are a wolf, a verical rudder de thumb, and you look such a lamb too, such a dear.' Even my bleat reminds you of Mary's pet. But you're not my pet, at least it is well that my Golo doesn't hear you.' if he is so very big said i oh he is really he's beefy i've engaged myself to him somehow rather one never knows how one does these things do they i couldn't speak from experience said i cruel man i suppose i felt christmasy and i'd just been reading mitreling and he really is big who i asked oh he of course my gouloglo i can't help admiring men who are a bit avuadupoise it is unfortunate they can't dance perhaps fortunate said i i could see you hate him pity i didn't think to ask him if he dance before would it have influenced you very much well of course one can be free to dance all the more with the really nice men whom one never marries why not oh you can only marry one of course there he is he's coming for me oh frank you leave me to the tender bursts of the world at large i thought you've forgotten me dear
Starting point is 03:59:43 i thought the same replied her gulow a great fat fellow with a childish bare face he smiled awesomely and i never knew what he meant to say we drove home in the early christmas morning letty warmly wrapped in her cloak had had a little stroll with her lover in the shrubbery she was still brilliant flashing in her movements he as he bade her good-bye was almost beautiful in his grace and his low musical tone i nearly loved him myself she was very fond towards him as we came to the gate where the private road branched from the highway we heard john say thank you looking out saw our two boys returning from the pit they were very grotesque in the dark night as the lamplight fell on them showing them grimy flecked with bits of snow they shouted merrily their good wishes letty leaned out and waved to them and they cried roo why Christmas came in with their acclamations. End of Part 1, Chapter 8 Part 1, Chapter 9 of The White Peacock by D.H. Lawrence. This Librivox recording is in the public domain.
Starting point is 04:01:07 Recording by Simon Evers. Part 1, Chapter 9, Letty comes of age. Lettie was 21 on the day after Christmas. She woke me in the morning with cries of dismay. There was a great fall of snow, multiplying the cold morning light, startling the slow-footed twilight. The lake was black like the open eyes of a corpse. The woods were black, like the beard on the face of a corpse.
Starting point is 04:01:35 A rabbit bobbed out and floundered in much consternation. Little birds settled into the depths and rose in a dusty whir, much terrified of the universal treachery of the earth. The snow was eighteen inches deep and drifted in places. they will never come lamented letty for it was the day of her party at any rate leslie will said i one she exclaimed that one is all isn't it said i and for sure george will come though i've not seen him this fortnight he's not been in one night they say for a fortnight why not i cannot say letty went away to ask rebecca for the fifthieth time if she thought they would come at any rate the extra woman help came it was not more than ten o'clock where leslie arrived ruddy with shining eyes laughing like a boy there was much stamping in the porch and knocking of leggings with his stick and crying of letty from the kitchen to know who had come and loud cheery answers from the porch bidding her come and see she came and greeted him with effusion ah my little woman he said kissing her i declare you are a woman look at yourself in the glass now she did so what do you see he asked laughing
Starting point is 04:02:55 you mighty gay looking at me ah but look at yourself there i declare you're more afraid of your own eyes than of mine aren't you i am she said and he kissed her with a rapture it's your birthday he said i know she replied so do i you promised me something what she asked here see if you like it he gave her a little case she opened it and instinctively slipped the wrong ring on her finger. He made a movement of pleasure. She looked up, laughing breathlessly at him. Now, said he in tones of finality, ah, she exclaimed in a strange, thrilled voice. He caught her in his arms. After a while, when they could talk rationally again, she said, Do you think they will come to my party? I hope not, by heaven. But, oh yes, we've made all preparations? What does that matter? Ten thousand folks here today? Not ten thousand, only five or six. I should be wild if they can't come. You want them? We've asked them and everything is ready
Starting point is 04:04:06 and I do want us to have a party one day. But today, damn it all, Letty. But I did want my party today. Don't you think they'll come? They won't have any sense. You might help me, she pouted. Well, I'll be, and you've set your mind on having a house full of people today? You know how we look forward to it, my party? At any rate, I know Tom Smith will come, and I'm almost sure Emily Saxon well. He bit his moustache angrily and said at last, Then I suppose I'd better send John round for the lot.
Starting point is 04:04:41 It wouldn't be much trouble, would it? No trouble at all. Do you know, she said, twisting the ring on her finger, it makes me feel as if I've tied something round my finger to remember by. It somehow remains in my consciousness all the time. At any rate, said he, I've got you. After dinner when we were alone, Lettie sat at the table, nervously fingering her ring. It is pretty, mother, isn't it? she said, a trifle pathetically.
Starting point is 04:05:13 Yes, very pretty, I have always liked Leslie, replied my mother. But if you're so heavy, it fidget. me i should like to take it off you're like me i never could wear rings i hated my wedding-ring for months did you mother i longed to take it off and put it away but after a while i got used to it i'm glad this isn't a wedding ring as she says it is as good said i and well yes but until it is different she put the jewel round under her finger and looked at the plain gold band that she took her twisted it back quickly saying, I'm glad it's not, not yet. I begin to feel a woman, little mother. I feel grown up today. My mother got up suddenly and went and kissed Lettie fervently. Let me kiss my girl goodbye, she said, and her voice was muffled with tears. Lettie clung to my mother and sobbed a few quiet sobs hidden in her bosom.
Starting point is 04:06:15 Then she lifted her face which was wet with tears and kissed my mother, murmuring. No, mother, no. about three o'clock the carriage came with leslie and marie both letty and i were upstairs and i heard marie come tripping up to my sister oh letty he's in such a state of excitement you never knew he took me with him to buy let me see it on i think it's awfully lovely here let me help you to do your hair all in those little rolls it will look charming you've really got beautiful hair there's so much life in it it's a pity to twist it into a coil as you do i wish my hair were a bit longer they really it's all the better for this fashion, don't you like it? It's so chic. I think those little puffs are just fascinating. It is rather long for them, but it will look ravishing. Really, my eyes and eyebrows and eyelashes are my best features, don't you think? Marie, the delightful, charming little creature, twittered on. I went downstairs.
Starting point is 04:07:12 Leslie started when I entered the room, but seeing only me, he leaned forward again, resting his arms on his knees, looking in the fire. What the dickens is she doing? he asked. Dressing. Let me make it on waiting. Isn't it a deuce nuisance these people coming? Well, we generally have a good time.
Starting point is 04:07:33 I talk very well, we're not in the same boat you and me. Fact, said I, laughing. By J. F. Cyril, you don't know what it is to be in love. I never thought, I couldn't believe I should be like it. All the time when it isn't at the top of your blood, it's at the bottom. The girl, the girl. He stared into the fire. it seems pressing you pressing you on never leaves you alone a moment again he lapsed into reflection then all at once you remember how she kissed you and all your blood jumps afar
Starting point is 04:08:06 he mused again for a while or rather he seemed fiercely to con over his sensations you know he said i don't think she feels for me as i do for her would you want her to said i don't know Perhaps not, but still I don't think she feels... At this he lighted a cigarette to soothe his excited feelings, and there was silence for some time. Then the girls came down. We could hear their light chatter. Lettie entered the room. He jumped up and surveyed her. She was dressed in soft, creamy, silky stuff. Her neck was quite bare.
Starting point is 04:08:44 Her hair was, as Marie promised, fascinating. She was laughing nervously. She grew warm like a blossom in the side, sunshine in the glow of his admiration. He went forward and kissed her. You are splendid, he said. She only laughed for answer. He drew her away to the great armchair and made her sit in it beside him. She was indulgent and he radiant. He took her hand and looked at it and at his ring which she wore. It looks all right, he murmured. Anything would, she replied. What do you mean, sapphires and diamonds?
Starting point is 04:09:22 for I don't know. What do I? Blue for Hope, because Sponza and Fairy Queen had a blue gown, and diamonds for the crystalline clearness of my nature. It's glitter and hardness, you mean. You're a hard little mistress. But why, hope? Why? No reason whatever, like most things. No, that's not right. Hope. Oh, blindfolded, hugging a silly harp with no strings. I wonder about she didn't drop her harp framework over the edge of the globe and take the handkerchief off her eyes and have a look round. But, of course, she was a woman and a man's woman. Do you know, I believe most women can sneak a look down their noses from underneath the hackerchief of hope they've tied over their eyes. They could take the whole muffler off, but they don't do it, the dears. I don't believe you know what you're talking about, and I'm sure I don't.
Starting point is 04:10:16 Saffirs remind me of your eyes, and isn't it blue the blue? kept the faith. I remember something about it. Yeah, said she, pulling off the ring. You ought to wear it herself, faithful one, to keep me in constant mind. Keep it on, keep it on. It holds you faster than that fair damsel tied to a tree in Millet's picture. I believe it's Millet. She sat, shaking with laughter. What a comparison! Who be the brave knight to rescue me discreetly from behind. Ha, he answered, it doesn't matter. You don't want rescuing, do you?
Starting point is 04:10:53 Not yet, she replied, teasing him. They continued to talk half-nonsense, making themselves eloquent by quick looks and gestures and communion of warm closeness. The ironical tones went out of Betty's voice, and they made love. Marie drew me away into the dining-room to leave them alone.
Starting point is 04:11:15 Marie is a charming little maid whose appearance is neatness, whose face is a confident little goodness. Her hair is dark and lies low upon her neck in wavy coils. She does not affect the fashion in coiffure, and generally is a little behind the fashion in dress. Indeed, she is a half-opened bud of a matron, conservative, full of proprieties and of gentle indulgence. She now smiled at me with a warm delight in the romance upon which she had just shed her grace, but her demurness allowed nothing to be said. she glanced round the room and out of the window and observed i always love woodside it is restful there's something about it oh assuring really it comforts one i'd be reading maxim gawke you shouldn't said i dada reads them but i don't like them i shall read no more i like woodside it makes you feel really a term it soothes one like the old wood does it seems right life is proper here not
Starting point is 04:12:16 Alcery. Just healthy living flesh, said I. No, I don't mean that, because one feels so as if the world were old and good, not old and bad. Young and undisciplined and mad, said I. No. But here, you and Letty and Leslie and me, it's so nice for us, and it seems so natural and good. Woodside is so old and so sweet and serene, it does reassure one. Yes, said I.
Starting point is 04:12:46 We just live, nothing abnormal, nothing cruel and extravagant, just natural, like doves and a dovecut. Doves, they're so mushy. They're dear little birds, doves. You look like one yourself with a black band round your neck. You are turtle dove, and Lettie a wood pigeon. Letty is splendid, isn't she? What a swing she has, what a mastery! I wish I had her strength.
Starting point is 04:13:14 She just marches straight through in the right way. I think she's fine. I laughed to see her so enthusiastic in her admiration of my sister. Marie is such a gentle, serious little soul. She went to the window. I kissed her and pulled two berries off the mistletoe. I made her a nest in the heavy curtains, and she sat there looking out on the snow.
Starting point is 04:13:40 It is lovely, she said reflectively. People must be ill when they write like Maxim Gawke. they live in town said i yes but then look at hardy life seems so terrible it isn't is it if you don't feel it it isn't if you don't see it i don't see it for myself it's lovely enough for heaven eskimo's heaven perhaps and we're the angels eh and i'm an archangel no you're a vain frivolous man is that-what is that moving through the trees somebody's heaven perhaps and we're the angels eh and i'm an archangel no you're a vain frivolous man is that what is that moving through the trees somebody coming, said I. It was a big birdie fellow moving curiously through the bushes. "'Hasn't he more funn't he? exclaimed Marie. He did. When he came near enough we saw he was straddled upon Indian snow-shoes. Marie peeped and laughed and peeped and hid again in the curtains laughing. He was very red and looked very hot as he hauled the great meshes shuffling over
Starting point is 04:14:41 the snow. His body rolled most comically. I went to the door. admitted him while Marie stood stroking her face with her hands to smooth away the traces of her laughter he grasped my hand in a very large and heavy glove with which he then wiped his perspiring brow well bert's a old man he said and how's things god i'm not aft fine idea though he showed me his snowshoes ripping aren't they i've come like an indian brave he rolled his ars and linked out his arse tremendously brave Eve. Couldn't resist it, though, he continued. Remember your party last year? Girls turned up. On the warpath, eh? Firsted up his childish lips and rubbed his fat chin. Having removed his coat on the white wrap which protected his collar, not to mention the snowflakes, which Rebecca took almost as an insult to herself, he seated his fat, hot body on a chair and proceeded to take off his gaiters and his boots. Then he donned his dancing pumps, and I had it.
Starting point is 04:15:46 him upstairs. Lord, I skimped here like a swallow, he continued, and I looked at his corpulence. Never met a soul, though they've had a snowplow down the road. I saw the marks of a cart up the drive, so I guessed the tempest were here. So, Lettis put her nose in tempest's nosebag. Needs nobody a chance that. Some women have rum taste. Only they're like ravens, they go for that gilding. Don't blame them. Only it leaves nobody a chance. "'Mady, how it's coming, I suppose?' I've entered something about the snow. "'She'll come,' he said.
Starting point is 04:16:21 "'If it's up to the neck, her mother saw me go past.' He proceeded with his toilet. I told him that Leslie had sent the carriage for Alice and Madie. He slapped his flat legs and exclaimed, "'Miss Gawl, I smell Suther. Beards a little boy, there's fun in the wind. Mady and the coy little tempest and—' He hissed a line of.
Starting point is 04:16:43 her musical song through his teeth. During all this he had straightened his cream and lavender waistcoat. Little pick of a girl worked it for me, real juicy little peach, chips somehow or other. He'd arranged his white bow. He had drawn forth two rings, one a great signet, the other gorgeous with diamonds, and had adjusted them on his fat white fingers. He'd run his fingers delicately through his hair, which rippled backwards at trifle tawdry, being fine and somewhat sapless. produced a box containing a cream carnation with suitable greenery. He flicked himself with a silk handkerchief and had dusted his patent leather shoes. Lastly, he pursed up his lips and surveyed himself with great satisfaction in the mirror. Then he was ready to be presented.
Starting point is 04:17:29 Wouldn't forget today, Lettie. Wouldn't have let old Pluter and all the bunch of them keep me away. I skimmed here like a brave on my snow-shoes, like Hayawotha coming to Minnehaha. said Marie softly. "'And this is a feast, a gorgeous feast, Miss Tempest,' he said, bowing to Marie, who laughed. "'You have brought some music?' asked Mother. "'Wish I was orpheus,' he said, uttering his words with exaggerated enunciation, a tricky accord from his singing, I suppose. "'I see you're in full feather Tempest.
Starting point is 04:18:05 Is she kind as she is fair?' "'Who?' Will pursed up his smooth, sensuous face that looked as it had never needed shaving. letty went out with marie hearing the bell ring he's a horrie exclaimed william gad i'm almost dumb for she's a lotus blossom but is that your ring she's wearing tempest eb off said leslie don't be a fool said i ho ho growled will so we must look the other way the bell-hom-s-a-mers-i sighed profoundly and ran his fingers through his hair keeping one eye on himself in the mirror as he did so then he adjusted his rings and went to the piano at first he only splashed about brilliantly then he sorted the music and took a volume of chakowsky's songs he began the long opening of one song was unsatisfied and found another a serenade of don juan then at last he began to sing his voice is a beautiful tenor softer more mellow less strong and brassy than leslie's now it was raised that it might be heard upstairs as the melting gush called forth the door opened william softened his tones and sang dulci but he did not glance round
Starting point is 04:19:24 rapture choir of angels exclaimed alice clasping her hands and gazing up at the little of the door like a sainted virgin psalphine your roba murmured madie at her side getting tangled in her mythology annis pressed her clasped hands against her bosom in ecstasy as the notes rose higher hold me madey why i shall rush to extinction in the arms of this siren she clung her maidy the song finished and will turned round take it calmly miss gall he said i hope you're not hit too badly oh how can you say take it calmly how can the savage beast be calm i'm sorry for you said will you are the cause of my trouble dear boy replied alice i never thought you'd come said maidie skim dear like an indian brave said will like carawatha towards minnehaha i knew you were coming you know said but madey he gave me quite a flutter when i heard the piano it is a year since i saw you how did you get here i came on snow-shoes said he real indian came from canada they're just whipping oh oh do go and put them on and show us do do perform for us biddy dear cried alice hiding the cold and driving sleet no fear said he and he turned to talk to madey alice sat chatting with mother soon tom smith came and took a seat next to marie and sat quietly looking over his spectacles with his sharp brown eyes full of scorn for william full of misgiving for leslie and letty shortly after george and emily came in they were rather nervous when they had changed their clogs and emily had taken off her brown-paper leggings and he his leather ones they were not anxious to go into the drawing-room i was surprised and so was emily to see that he had put on dancing shoes
Starting point is 04:21:27 emily riding from the cold air was wearing a wine-coloured dress which suited her luxurious beauty george's clothes were well made it was a point on which he was particular being somewhat self-conscious he wore a jacket and a dark bow the other men were an evening dress we took them into the drawing-room where the lamp was not lighted and the glow of the fire was becoming evident in the dusk we had taken up the carpet the floor was all polished and some of the furniture was taken away so that the room looked large and ample there was general handshaking and the newcomers were seated near the fire first mother talked to them then the candles were lighted to the piano and will played to us he is an exquisite pianist full of refinement and poetry it is astonishing and it is a fact father went out to attend to the tea and after a while letty crossed over to emily and george and drawing up a low chair sat down to talk to them leslie stood in the window bay looking out on the lawn where the snow grew bluer and bluer and the sky almost purple letty put her hands on emily's lap and said softly look do you like it what engaged exclaimed emily i am of age you see said letty it is a beauty isn't it let me try it on will you yes i've never had a ring there it won't go over my knuckle no i thought not aren't my hands red it's the cold yes it's too small for me i do like it george sat watching the play of the four hands in his sister's lap two hands moving so white and fascinating in the twilight the other two rather red with rather large bones looking so nervous almost hysterical the ring played between the four hands giving an occasional flash from the twilight or candle-light you must congratulate me she said in a very low voice and two of us knew she spoke to him
Starting point is 04:23:31 as yes said emily i do and you she said turning to him who was silent what do you want me to say he asked say what you like some time when i thought about it oh dinners laughed letty awaking alice's old sarcasm at his loneliness what he exclaimed looking up suddenly at her taunt she knew she was playing false she put the ring on her finger and went across the room to leslie laying her arm over his shoulder and leaning her head against him murmuring softly to him he poor fellow was delighted with her for she did not display her fondness often we went into tea the yellow-shaded lamp shone softly over the table where christmas roses spread wide open among some dark coloured leaves where the china and silver and the coloured dishes shone delightfully we were all very gay and bright who could be otherwise seated round a well-laid table with the yellowishers and the coloured table with the colouring with young company and the snow outside. George felt awkward when he noticed his hands over the table, but for the rest we enjoyed ourselves exceedingly. The conversation veered inevitably to marriage. But what have you to say about it, Mr Smith? asked little Marie. Nothing yet, replied he in his peculiar grating voice. My marriage is in the unanalyzed solution of the future. When I've
Starting point is 04:25:01 done the analysis, I'll tell you." But what do you think about it?" "'Do you remember, Letty?' said Will Bancroft. That little red-haired girl who was in our year at college. She's just married old Craven out of physics department.' "'I wish her joy of it,' said Lettie. "'Wasn't she an old flame of yours?' "'Among the rest,' he replied, smiling.
Starting point is 04:25:25 "'Don't you remember you were one of them? You had your day.' "'What a joke that was!' exclaimed Lettie. We used to go into the Arboretum at dinner-time. You lasted half one autumn. Do you remember when we gave a concert, you and I and Frank Boyceau and the small lecture theatre? When the Piny was such an old buck flattering you, continued Will,
Starting point is 04:25:47 and that night Wishawls took you to the station, sent old Get-in for a cab and saw you in large as life. Never was such a thing before. I'll wish I won you with that cab, didn't he? Oh, how I swelled, cried Letty. There were you all at the top of the steps, gazing with admiration. But Frank Wishall was not a nice fellow, that he played the violin beautifully. I never liked his eyes.
Starting point is 04:26:12 No, added Will. It didn't last long, did he? They're long enough to house to me. We had a giddy ripping time in cold, didn't we? It was not bad, said Lettie. Rather foolish. I'm afraid I wasted my three years. I think, said Lettie, smiling.
Starting point is 04:26:30 you proved the shining hours to great purpose. He pleased him to think what a flirt you had been, since the flirting had been harmless and only added to the glory of his final conquest. George felt very much left out during these reminiscences. When we finished tea, we adjourned to the drawing-room. It was in darkness save for the firelight. The missile so had been discovered and was being appreciated.
Starting point is 04:26:58 Georgie, Sybil, Sebel, Georgie, come and kiss me! cried alice will went forward to do her the honour she ran to me saying get away you fat fool keep on your own preserves now georgie dear come and kiss me cause you haven't got nobody else but me no you haven't do you want to run away like crawled georgie porgy apple pie shan't cry sure i shan't if you were ugly he took him and kissed him on either cheek saying softly you shan't be so serious old boy buck up there's a good fellow lighted the lamp and charades were proposed leslie and letty will and maidie and alice went out to play the first scene was an elopement to gretna green with alice a maid-servant a part that she played wonderfully well as a caricature it was very noisy and extremely funny leslie was in high spirits it was remarkable to observe that as he became more animated more abundantly energetic letty became quieter the second steam which they were playing as excited melodrama she turned into small tragedy with her bitterness they went out and letty blew us kisses from the doorway doesn't she act well exclaimed marie speaking to tom quite realistic said he she could always play a part well said mother i should think said emily she could take a role in life and play up to it i believe she could mother answered there would only be intervals when she would see herself in a mirror acting and what then said marie she would feel desperate and wait till the fit passed off replied my mother smiling significantly
Starting point is 04:28:45 the players came in again letty kept her part subordinate lesonly played with brilliance it was rather startling how he excelled the applause was loud and we could not guess the word Then they laughed and told us. We clamoured for more. Do go, dear, said Lettie to Leslie, and I'll be helping to arrange the room for the dances. I want to watch you. I'm rather tired. It's so exciting. Emily will take my place.
Starting point is 04:29:14 They went. Marie and Tom and Mother and I played bridge in one corner. Lettie said she wanted to show George some new pictures, and they bent over a portfolio for some time. Then she bade him help her to clear the room for the dances. Well, you've had time to think, she said to him. Short time, he replied. What should I say? Tell me what you've been thinking.
Starting point is 04:29:40 Well, about you, he answered, smiling foolishly. What about me? she asked, venturesome. About you, how you were at college, he replied. Oh, I had a good time. I had plenty of boys. I like them all. till I found there was nothing in them, then they tired me. Poor boys, he said laughing. Were they all alike? All alike, she replied, and they are still.
Starting point is 04:30:07 Itty, he said, smiling. Hard lines on you. Why, she asked. It leaves you nobody to care for, he replied. How it is sarcastic you are, you make one reservation. Do I, the answer, smiling, but you far sharp into the air and then say, where all blank cartridges, except one, of course.
Starting point is 04:30:29 You? She queried ironically. Oh, you were forever hang far. Old dinners, he quoted in bitterness. But you knew I loved you. You knew well enough. Past tense, she replied. Thanks, make it perfect next time.
Starting point is 04:30:47 It's you who hang far. It's you who make me, he said. And so from the retort circumstantial to the retort direct, she replied, smiling. You see, you put me off, he insisted, growing excited. For a reply, she held out her hand and showed him the ring. He smiled very quietly. He stared at her with darkening anger.
Starting point is 04:31:11 Can you gather the rugs and stools together and put them in that corner? She said. He turned away to do so, but he looked back again and said in low, passionate tones. You never counted me. i was a figure nought in the counting all along see there is a chair that will be in the way she replied calmly but she flushed and bowed her head She turned away, and he dragged an armful of rugs into a corner. When the actors came in, Lettie was moving a vase of flowers. While they played, she sat looking on, smiling, clapping her hands.
Starting point is 04:31:50 When it was finished, Leslie came and whispered to her, whereon she kissed him, unobserved, delighting and exhilarating him more than ever. Then they went out to prepare the next act. George did not return to her till she called him to help her. Her colour was high in her cheeks. How do you know you did not count? She said nervously, unable to resist the temptation to play this forbidden game. He laughed, and for a moment could not find in a reply.
Starting point is 04:32:23 I do, he said. You knew you could have me any day, so you didn't care. Then we're behaving in quite the traditional fashion, she answered, with irony. But you know, he said, You began it. You played with me and showed me heaps of things. And those mornings, when I was binding corn and when I was gathering the apples and when I was finishing the straw stack, you came then. I can never forget those mornings. Things will never be the same. You have awakened my life. I imagined things that I couldn't have done. I'm very sorry. I'm so sorry. Don't be. Don't say so. But what of me? what she asked rather startled he smiled again he felt the situation was a trifle dramatic though deadly and earnest well said he you start me off then leave me at a loose end what am i going to do you are a man she replied he laughed what does that mean he said contemptuously you can go on which way you like she answered
Starting point is 04:33:32 well he said we'll see don't you think so she asked rather anxious i don't know we'll see he replied they went out with some things in the hall she turned to him with a break in her voice saying i am so sorry i'm so sorry he said very low and soft never mind never mind she heard the laughter of those preparing the charade she drew away and went in the drawing-room saying aloud now i think everything is ready we can sit down now after the actors have played the last charade leslie came and claimed her now madam are you glad to have me back that i am she said don't leave me again will you i won't he replied drawing her beside him i've left my handkerchief of the dining-room he continued and they went out together mother gave you permission for the men to smoke you know said marita tom i'm surprised that a scientist should smoke isn't it a waste of time garma light me he said no she replied let science light you science does ah but science is nothing without a girl to set it going yes come on now don't burn my precious nose poor george cried alice does he want a ministering angel he was half lying in a big arm-chair i do he replied come on be my box of soothing ointments my matches are all loose i'll strike it on my heel eh now rouse up or i shall have to sit on your knee to reach you poor dear he shall be luxurious and the dauntless girl perched on his knee what have i singed your whiskers would you send a nomadder oh oh pretty you do look sweet doesn't he suck prettily
Starting point is 04:35:29 you envy me he asked smiling whimsically rather shame to debar you he said almost with tenderness spoke with me he offered her the cigarette from his lips she was surprised and exceedingly excited by his tender tone took the cigarette i'll make a heifer like mrs dawes she said don't call yourself a cow he said nasty thing let me go she exclaimed no you fit me don't go he replied holding her then you must have groaned and what great hands let go let he come and pinch him what's the matter asked my sister he won't let me go he'll be tired first let he answered alice was released but she did not move she sat with wrinkled forehead trying his cigarette she blew out little tiny whiffs of smoke and thought about it she sent a small puff down her nostrils and rubbed her nose it's not as nice as it looks she said he laughed at her with masculine indulgence pretty boy she said straining his chin am i he murmured languidly cheek she cried and she boxed his ears, then, oh, poor thing, she said, and kissed him. She turned round to wink at my mother and at Lettie. She found the latter sitting in the old position with Leslie, two in a chair. He was toying with her arm, holding it and stroking it. Isn't it lovely, he said, kissing the
Starting point is 04:37:06 forearms, so warm and yet so white. Iyo, it reminds one of Iyo. Somebody else talking about heifers? moment Alice to George. Can you remember, said Leslie, speaking low, that man in Merri-May who wanted to bite his wife and taste her blood? I do, said Lettie. Have you a strain of wild beast, too? Perhaps, he laughed. I wish these folks had gone. Your hair is all loose in your neck. It looks lovely like that, though.
Starting point is 04:37:40 Alice, the mocker, had unbuttoned the cuff of the thick wrist that lay idly on her knee. and had pushed his sleeve a little way. Ah, she said, what a pretty arm, brown as an overbaked loaf. He watched her, smiling. Hard as a brick, she added. You like it, he drawled. No, she said emphatically, in a tone that meant yes. Makes me feel shivery.
Starting point is 04:38:08 She smiled again. She superposed her tiny, pale, flower-like hands on his. he lay back looking at them curiously do you feel as if your hands were full of silver she asked almost wistfully mocking better than that he replied gently and your heart full of gold she mocked of hell he replied briefly annis looked at him searchingly and am i like a blue bottle buzzing in your window to keep your company she asked he laughed good-bye she said slipping down and leaving him don't go he said but too late the eruption of alice into the quiet sentimental party was like taking a bright light into a sleeping hen-roost everybody jumped up and wanted to do something they cried out for a dance emily play a waltz you won't mind will you george what you don't dance tom oh marie i don't mind letty protested marie dance with me alice said george smiling and cyril will take miss tempest glory come on do or die said alice he began to dance i saw letty watching and i looked round george was waltzing with alice dancing passably laughing at her remarks letty was not listening to what her lover was saying to her she was watching the laughing pair at the end she went to george why she said you can did you think i couldn't he said you are pledged for a minuet and of the leader with me you remember
Starting point is 04:39:46 yes you promise yes but i went to nottingham and learned why because very mon leslie a mazurka when you play it emily yes it is quite easy tom you look quite happy talking to the mater who danced the mazurka with the same partners he did it better than i expected without much awkwardness but stiffly however he moved quietly through the dance laughing and talking abstractedly all the time with alice then let him quite a change of partners and they took their valetia there was a little triumph in his smile you congratulate me he said i am surprised she answered so am i but i congratulate myself you well so do i thanks you're beginning at last what she asked to believe in me don't begin to talk again she pleaded sadly nothing vital you like dancing with me he asked now be quiet that's real she replied why heaven letty you make me laugh you might she said what have you married alice soon i alice letty besides have only a hundred pounds in the world and no prospects whatever that's why i i shan't marry anybody unless it's somebody with money i have a couple of thousand or so of my own have you it would have done nicely he said smiling you're different to-night she said leaning on him am i he replied it's because things are altered too they're settled one way now for the present at least don't forget the two steps this time said she smiling and heading seriously you see i couldn't help it no why not
Starting point is 04:41:43 things i have been brought up to expect it everybody expected it and you're bound to do what people expect you to do you can't help it we can't help ourselves we're all chessmen she said i he agreed but doubtfully i wonder where it will end she said letty he cried and his hand closed in a grip on hers don't don't say anything it's no good now it's too late it's done and what is done is done is done if you don't you don't say anything it's no good now it's too late it's done and what is done is done if you don't talk any more I shall say I'm tired and stop the dance. Don't say another word. He did not, at least to her. Their dance came to an end. Then he took Marie, who talked winsomely to him. As he waltz with Marie, he regained his animated spirits. He was very lively the rest of the evening, quite astonishing and reckless. At supper he ate everything and drank much wine. Have some more turkey, Mr. Saxon. Thanks, but give me some of that stuff in brown jelly, will you? It's new to me.
Starting point is 04:42:46 Have some of this trifle, Georgie. I will, you are a jewel. So will you be a yellow topaz tomorrow? Ah, tomorrow's tomorrow. After supper was over, Alice cried, Georgie dear, have you finished? Don't die the death of a king, King John. I can't spare, you pet. Are you so fond of me?
Starting point is 04:43:08 I am. Oh, I've thrown my best son. Sunday hat under a milk cart for you, I would. No, throw yourself into the milk cart, some Sunday when I'm driving. Yes, come and see us, said Emily. How nice. Tomorrow you won't want me, Georgie, dear, so I'll come. Don't you wish Pa would make Tone Bungay? Wouldn't you marry me then? I would, said he.
Starting point is 04:43:32 When the cart came and Addis, Maidy, Tom and Will departed, Addis Bait Lettie a long farewell, blew Georgie many kisses, promised to love him faithful and true, and was gone. George and Emily lingered a short time. Now the room seemed empty and quiet, and all the laughter seemed to have gone. The conversation dribbled away. There was an awkwardness. Well, said George heavily at last. Today is nearly gone. It will soon be tomorrow.
Starting point is 04:44:04 I feel a bit drunk. We had a good time to-night. I am glad, said Lettie. They put on their clogs and leggings and wrapped themselves up and stood in the hall. We must go, said George. Before the clock strikes, like Cinderella, look at my glass slippers, he pointed to his clogs. Midnight and rags and fleeing, very appropriate. I shall call myself Cinderella who wouldn't fit. I believe I'm a bit drunk, the world looks funny.
Starting point is 04:44:34 We looked out of the haunting oneness of the hills beyond Nethermere. Goodbye, lady, good-bye. they were out in the snow which peered pale and eerily from the depths of the black wood good-bye he called out of the darkness leslie slammed the door and drew letty away into the drawing-room the sound of his low vibrating satisfaction reached us as he murmured to her and laughed low then he kicked the door of the room shut letty began to laugh and mock and talk in a high-strained voice the sound of their laughter mingled was strange and in Congress. Then her voice died down. Marie sat at the little piano, which was put in the dining room, strumming and tinkling the false, quavering old notes. It was a depressing jingling in the deserted remains of the feast, but she felt sentimental and enjoyed it. This was a gap between today and tomorrow a dreary gap where one sat and looked at the dreary comedy of yesterday's
Starting point is 04:45:36 and the grey tragedies of dawning to-morrows, fakingly, Missed. the poignancy of an actual to-day." The cart returned. "'Lesley, Leslie, John is here. Come along,' called Marie. There was no answer. "'Lesley, John is waiting in the snow.' "'All right.
Starting point is 04:45:56 But you must come at once.' He went to the door and spoke to him. Then he came out looking rather sheepish and rather angry at the interruption. Lettie followed, tidying her hair. She did not laugh and look confused as most girls do on similar occasions. She seemed very tired. At last Leslie tore himself away and after more returns for a farewell kiss, mounted the carriage which stood in a pool of yellow light, blurred and splotched with shadows, and drove away,
Starting point is 04:46:29 calling something about tomorrow. End of Part 1, Chapter 9. 2, Chapter 1 of The White Peacock by D.H. Lawrence, this Librivox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Simon Evers. Part 2, Chapter 1. Strange Blossoms and Strange New Budding Winter lay a long time prostrate on the earth. The men in the minds of Tempest Warren co. came out on strike on a question of the rearranging of the working system down below.
Starting point is 04:47:15 The distress was not awful. for the men were on the whole wise and well-conditioned. But there was an ejection over the face of the countryside, and some suffered keenly. Everywhere, along the lanes and in the streets, loitered gangs of men, unoccupied and spiritless. Week after week went on, and the agents of the Miners' Union held great meetings, and the ministers held prayer meetings. But the strike continued. There was no rest.
Starting point is 04:47:45 always the cryer's bell was ringing in the street, always the servants of the company were delivering handbills stating the case clearly, and always the people talked and filled the months with bitter and then hopeless resenting. Schools gave breakfasts, chapels gave soup, well-to-do people gave teas, the children enjoyed it. But we, who knew the faces of the old men and the privations of the women, breathed a cold, disheartening apt, atmosphere of sorrow and trouble. Determined poaching was carried on in the squire's woods and warrens. Annibal defended his game heroically. One man was at home with a leg supposed to be wounded by a fall on the slippery roads, but really by a man-trapped in the woods. Then Annabel caught two men, and they were sentenced to two months imprisonment. On both the lodge gates of Hightlos, on our side and on the far Iberwicz side, were posted notice
Starting point is 04:48:45 that trespasses on the drive or in the grounds will be liable to punishment. These posters were soon muddied over, and fresh ones fixed. The men loitering on the road by Nethermeer looked angrily at Letty as she passed, in her black furs which Leslie had given her, and their remarks were pungent. She heard them, and they burned in her heart. From my mother she inherited democratic views, which she now proceeded to debate warmly with her lover. Then she tried to talk to Leslie about the strike. He heard her with mild superiority, smiled, and said she did not know.
Starting point is 04:49:25 Women jumped to conclusions at the first touch of feeling. Men must look at the thing all round, then make a decision. Nothing hasty and impetuous. Careful, long fought out, correct decisions. Women could not be expected to understand these things. Business was not for them. In fact, their mission was above business. etc etc unfortunately nettie was the wrong woman to treat thus so said she with a quiet hopeless tone of finality
Starting point is 04:49:56 there now you understand don't you minnehaha my laughing water so laugh again darling and don't worry about these things we'll not talk about them any more eh no more no more that's right you're as wise as an angel come here pooh the wood is thick and lonely look there is nobody in the world but us, and you are my heaven and earth. And hell? If you are so cold, how cold you are, it gives me little shivers when you look so, and I am always hot, Lettie. Well, you are cruel. Kiss me, now, now I don't want your cheek. Kiss me yourself.
Starting point is 04:50:36 Why don't you say something? What for? What's the use of saying anything when there's nothing immediate to say? You're offended. it was like snow to-day she answered at last however winter began to gather her limbs to rise and drift with saddened garments northward the strike was over the men had compromised it was a gentle way of telling them they were beaten but the strike was over the birds fluttered and dashed the kakkins on the hazel loosened their winter rigidity and swung soft tassels all through the day sounded long sweet whistling from the brushes then later loud laughing shouts of bird triumph on every hand i remember a day when the breast of the hills was heaving in a last quick waking sigh and the blue eyes of the waters opened bright across the infinite skies of march great rounded masses of cloud had sailed stately all day domed with the white radiance softened with faint fleeting shadows as if
Starting point is 04:51:43 companies of angels were gently sweeping past, adorned with resting silken shadows like those of a full white breast. All day the clouds had moved on to their vast destination, and I had clung to the earth yearning and impatient. I took a brush and tried to paint them. Then I raged at myself. I wished that in all the wild valleys where cloud shadows were travelling like pilgrims, something would call me forth from my rooted loneliness. Through all the grandeur of the white and blue day, the poised cloud masses swung their slow flight and left me unnoticed.
Starting point is 04:52:24 At evening they were all gone, and the empty sky, like a blue bubble over us, swam on its pale bright rims. Leslie came and asked his betrothed to go out with him under the darkening wonderful bubble. She made me accompany her, and to escape from myself i went it was warm in the shelter of the wood and in the crouching hollows of the hills but over the slanting shoulders of the hills the wind swept whipping the redness into our faces get me some of those older cat-kids leslie said letty as we came down to the stream yes those where they hang over the brook they are ruddy like new blood freshening under the skin look tassels of crimson and gold
Starting point is 04:53:11 she pointed to the dusty hazel catkins mingled with the alder on her bosom then she began to quote christina rossetti's a birthday i'm glad you came to take me a walk she continued doesn't australian mill look pretty like a group of orange and scarlet fungi in a fairy picture do you know i haven't been no not for quite a long time shall we call now the daylight will be gone and we do it is half-past five more i saw him-and-and-one and we do it is half-past five more i saw him the sun the other morning. Where? He was carting mature, I made haste by. Did he speak to you? Did you look at him? No, he said nothing. I'd glance at him, he was just the same, brick colour, solid. Mind that stone it rocks. I'm glad you've got strong boots on. Seeing that I usually wear them. She stood poised a moment on a large stone, the fresh spring brook hastening towards her, deepening, sidling round her. "'You won't call and see them, then?' she asked. "'No. I like to hear the brook tinkling, don't you?' he replied. "'Ah, yes, it's full of music.'
Starting point is 04:54:22 "'Should we go on?' he said, impatient but submissive. "'I'll catch up in a minute,' said I. I went in and found Emily putting some bread into the oven. "'Come out for a walk,' said I. "'Now, let me tell Mother, I was longing.' she ran and put on her long grey coat and her red tamashanta as we went down the yard george called to me i'll come back i shouted he came to the crew yard gate to see us off when we came out on the path we saw letty standing on the top bar of the stile balancing with her hand on leslie's head she saw us she saw george and she waved to us leslie was looking up at her anxiously she waved again then we could hear her laughing and telling her and sightedly to stand still and steady her while she turned. She turned round and leaped with a
Starting point is 04:55:15 great flutter like a big bird launching, down from the top of the stile to the ground and into his arms. Then we climbed the steep hillside, sunny bank that had once shone yellow with wheat, and now waved black, tattered ranks of thistles where the rabbits ran. We passed the little cottages in the hollow scooped out of the hill, and gained the highlands that looked out over Leicestershire to Charmwood on the left, and away into the mountain knob of derbyshire straight in front and towards the right the upper road is all grassy fallen into long disuse it used to lead from the abbey to the hall but now it ends blindly on the hill-brow half-way along is the old white house farm with its green mountain steps mouldering outside ladies have mounted here and ridden towards the vale of beaver but now a labourer holds the farm we came to the quarries and looked in at the lime-kills let us go right into the wood out of the quarry said leslie i have not been since i was a little lad it is trespassing said emily we don't trespass he replied grand delicately so we went along by the hurrying brook which fell over little cascades in its haste never looking once at the primroses the but limmering all along its banks we turned aside and climbed the hill through the woods
Starting point is 04:56:39 Velvety green springs of dog mercury were scattered on the red soil He came to the top of a slope Where the wood thinned As I talked to Emily I became dimly aware of a whiteness over the ground She exclaimed with surprise And I found that I was walking
Starting point is 04:56:57 In the first shades of twilight Over clumps of snowdrops The hazers were thin And only here and there an oak tree uprose All the ground was white with snowdrops like drops of manor scattered over the red earth on the grey-green clusters of leaves. There was a deep little dell, sharp sloping like a cup,
Starting point is 04:57:20 and white sprinkling of flowers all the way down, with white flowers showing pale among the first inpouring of shadow at the bottom. The earth was red and warm, pricked with the dark, succulent green of blue-bell sheaths, and embroidered with grey-green clusters of spears, and many white flowerettes. high above above the light tracery of hazel the weird oaks tangled in the sunset below in the first shadows drooped hosts of little white flowers so silent and sad it seemed like a holy communion of pure wild things numberless frail and folded meekly in the evening light other flower companies are glad stately barbaric hordes of bluebells merry-headed cowslip groups even
Starting point is 04:58:09 light tossing wooden enemies, but snowdrops are sad and mysterious. We've lost their meaning. They do not belong to us who ravished them. The girls bent among them, touching them with their fingers, and symbolizing the yearning which I felt. Folded in the twilight, these conquered flowerettes are sad like forlorn little friends of dryads. What do they mean, do you think? said Lettie in a low voice, as her white fingers touched the flowers and her black furs fell on them. "'Well, not so many this year,' said Leslie.
Starting point is 04:58:48 "'They remind me of mistletoe, which is never ours, though we wear it,' said Emily to me. "'What do you think they say? What do they make you think, Cyril?' Lately repeated. "'I don't know. Emily says they belong to some old, wild, lost religion. They were the symbol of tears, perhaps, to some strange-hearted, dream. people look before us. More than tears, said Lettie, more than tears, they're so still, something out of an old religion that we have lost. They make me feel afraid. What should you have to fear? asked Leslie.
Starting point is 04:59:26 If I knew I shouldn't fear, she answered. Look at all the snowdrops. They hung in dim, strange flecks among the dusty leaves. Look at them. Closed up, retreating, powerless. They belong to some knowledge we have lost, that I have lost, and that I need. I feel afraid, they seem like something in fate. You think, sir, or we could lose things off the earth, like Macedons and those old monstrosities, but things that matter, wisdom? It is against my creed, said I. I believe I have lost something, said she. Come, said Leslie, don't trouble with fences. Come with me to the bottom of the world. of this cup and see how strange it will be, with the sky marked with branches, like a filigree lid.
Starting point is 05:00:13 She rose, and followed him down the steep side of the pit, crying, Ah, you treading on the flowers! No, said he, I've been very careful. They sat down together on a fallen tree at the bottom. She leaned forward, her fingers wandering white among the shadowed grey spaces of leaves, plucking, as if it were aright, flowers here and there. he could not see her face don't you care for me he asked softly you she sat up and looked at him and laughed strangely he do not seem real to me she replied in a strange voice for some time they sat thus both bowed and silent birds scurred off from the bushes and then merely looked up with a great start as a quiet sodonic voice said above us
Starting point is 05:01:05 but i've got my eyes if it ain't it struck me i heard a cooing and here's the birds come on sweethearts it's the wrong place for billing and cooing in the middle of these ear snowdrops let's have your names come on clear off you fool answered leslie from berl jumping up in anger we all foreturned and looked at the keeper he stood in the room of light darkly fine powerful form menacing us he did not move but like some malicious pan looked down on a and said, "'Very pretty, pretty. Two, and two makes four. Tis true, two and two makes four. Come on, come on out of this here, bridal-bird, and let's have a look at you.' "'How't you use your eyes, you fool?' replied Leslie, standing up and helping Lettie with her furs. At any rate, you can see there are ladies here. "'Very sorry, sir. He can't tell a lady from a woman at this distance at Dusk. "'Who may you be, sir?'
Starting point is 05:02:03 clear out come along letty you can't stay here now it climbed into the night oh very sorry mr tempest when you look down on a man he never looks the same i thought it was some young fools crummeer dallying damn you shut up exclaimed leslie i beg your pardon letty when you have my arm they looked very elegant to the pair of them letty was wearing a long coat which fitted close she had a small hat whose feathers flushed straight back with her hair. The keeper looked at them. Then, smiling, he went down the dell with great strides, and returned, saying, Well, the lady might as well take her gloves. He took them from him, shrinking to Leslie. Then she started and said, Let me fetch my flowers. She ran for the handful of snowdrops that lay among the roots of the trees. We all watched her. Sorry I made such a mistake, a lady, said Anabel. but I've nearly forgot the sight of one, save the squire's daughters, who are never out of mine.
Starting point is 05:03:08 I should think you never have seen many unless— Have you ever been a groom? No groom but a bridegroom, sir. And then I think I'd rather groom a horse than a lady, for I got well bit, if he'd excuse me, sir. And you deserved it, no doubt. I got it, and I wish you better look, sir. Once bore a man here in the wood, though, than in my lady's parlour it strikes me. "'A lady's parlour?' laughed Leslie, indulgent in his amusement of the facetious keeper.
Starting point is 05:03:39 "'Oh, yes, will you walk into my parlour?' "'I'm very smart for a keeper. "'Oh, yes, sir, I was once a ladies-man, but I'd rather watch the rabbits and the birds, "'and it's easier breeding brats in the kennels and in the town.' "'They're yours, are they?' said I. "'You know, amuse, sir, aren't they a lovely little litter? "'Aren't they a pretty bang of fennets?' "'Natural as weasels. That's what I said they should be.
Starting point is 05:04:04 "'Burn up like a bunch of young foxes to run as they would.' "'Emily adjoined Lettie, and they kept aloof from the man they instinctively hated. "'They'll get nicely trapped one of these days,' said I. "'They're natural. They can fend for themselves like wild bees do,' he replied, grinning. "'You're not doing your duty, it strikes me,' put in Leslie sententiously. The man laughed. "'Duties of parents. Tell me I've need of it. I've nine, that is eight and one not four off. "'She breeds well, the old lass. One every two years, nine, fourteen years. Done well, hasn't she?'
Starting point is 05:04:43 "'You've done pretty badly, I think.' "'I? Why? It's natural. When a man's more than nature, he's a devil. "'Be a good animal,' says I, whether it's man or woman. "'You, sir, a good natural male animal. The lady there, a female nun. That's proper. as long as you enjoy it. And what then? Do as the animals do. I'll watch me brats.
Starting point is 05:05:06 I let them grow. Their beauties they are. Sound as a young ash pole, every one. They shan't learn to dirty themselves with smirking devilry. Not if I can help it. They can be like birds or weasels or vipers or squirrels. So long as they ain't human rot. That's what I say.
Starting point is 05:05:25 It's one way of looking at things, said Leslie. Aye, look at the world. the women looking at us. Want something between a bull and a couple of worms took together, I am? See that, Spink? He raised his voice for the girls to hear. Pretty, isn't he? What for?
Starting point is 05:05:42 And for what do you wear a fancy vest and twist your moustache, sir? What for at the bottom? Ha! Tell a woman not to come in a wood till she can look at natural things. She might see something. Good night, sir. He marched off into the darkness. Of course, fellow that.
Starting point is 05:06:00 said Leslie, when he had rejoined Letty, but he's a character. He makes you shudder, she replied. But yet you are interested in him. I believe he has a history. He seems to lack something, said Emily. I thought him rather a fine fellow, said I. Splendidly built fellow, but callous,
Starting point is 05:06:20 no soul, remarked Leslie, dismissing the question. No, said Edemily, no soul than among the snowdrops. Letty was thoughtful, and I smiled. It was a beautiful evening, still with red shaken clouds in the west. The moon in heaven was turning wistfully back to the east. Dark purple woods lay around us, painting out the distance. The near, wild, ruined land looked sad and strange under the pale afterglow. The turf path was fine and springy.
Starting point is 05:06:55 Let us run, said Lettie, and joining hands we raced wild. wildly along with a flutter and a breathless laughter till we were happy and forgetful. When we stopped, we exclaimed at once, Hark! A child, said Lettie. At the kennel, said I. We hurried forward. From the house came the mad yelling and yelping of children,
Starting point is 05:07:17 and the wild hysterical shouting of a woman. The little devil, thou little devil, thou shunner! That thou shunner! This was accompanied by the hollow sound of blows and a pandemonium of howlingum of howly. We rushed in and found the woman in a tousled frenzy, belaboring a youngster with an enameled pan. The lad was rolled up like a young hedgehog. The woman held him by the foot, and like a flail came the hollow utensil thuddy on his shoulders and back. He lay in the farlight and howled, while scattered in various groups with the leaping farlight
Starting point is 05:07:48 twinkling over their tears and their open mouths were the other children, crying too. The mother was in a state of hysteria. Her hair streamed over her face, and her eyes were fixed in a state. stare of overwrought irritation. Up and down went her long arm like a windmill sail. I ran and held it. When she could hit no more, the woman dropped the pan from her nerveless hand and staggered, trembling to the squabre. She looked desperately weary and foredone. She clasped and unclasped her hands continually. Emily hushed to the children, while Lettie hushed to the mother, holding her hard, cracked hands and she swayed to and fro.
Starting point is 05:08:29 Gradually the mother became still and sat staring in front of her. Then aimlessly she began to finger the jewels on Letty's finger. Emily was bathing the cheek of a little girl who lifted up her voice and wept loudly when she saw the speck of blood on the cloth. But presently she became quiet too, and Emily could empty the water from the late instrument of castigation and at last lighted the lamp. i found sam under the table in a little heap i put out my hand for him and he wriggled away like a lizard into the passage after a while i saw him in a corner lying whimpering with little savage cries of pain i cut off his retreat and captured him bearing him struggling into the kitchen then weary with pain he became passive
Starting point is 05:09:21 we undressed him and found his beautiful white body all discoloured with bruises the mother began to sob again with a chorus of babies the girls tried to soothe the weeping while i rubbed butter into the silent wincing boy then his mother caught him in her arms and kissed him passionately and cried with abandon the boy let himself be kissed then he too began to sob till his little body was all shaken they folded themselves together the poor disheveled mother and the half-naked boy and wept themselves still then she took him to bed and the girls helped the other little ones into their nightgowns and soon the house was still i can't manage them i canna said the mother mournfully they're grown beyond me i don't know what to do with em and never ran as he'd lived to help me no he cares not a thing for me not a thing not but makes a mock and a sludge o me ah baby cried nettie setting the bonny boy on his feet and holding up his training nightgown behind him do you want to walk to your mother go then the child a handsome little fellow of some sixteen months toddled across to his mother waving his hands as he went and laughing when his large hazel eyes glowed with pleasure his mother caught him pushed the silken brown hair back from his forehead and laid his cheek against hers ah she said i got a funny dad that has not like another man nor my ducky he's got no art to care for nobody he hasna my pigeon no lives like a stranger to his own flesh and blood the girl with a wounded cheek had found comfort in leslie she was seated on his knee looking at him with solemn blue eyes a solemnity increased by the quaint round head whose black hair was cut short
Starting point is 05:11:20 it's my chalk yes it is and our sam says it isn't and he takes it and marks it all gone so i wouldn't give it to him she clutched in her fat little hand a piece of red chalk my dad kin hit me to mark me donny's face red what's only wood i'll show you she wriggled down and holding up her trailing gown with one hand trotted to a corner piled with a child's rubbish and hauled out a hideous carven caricature of a woman and brought it to leslie The face of the object was streaked with red. Here she is, Mbdolly, what my dad made me. Her name's Lady Maima. Is it, said Lettie? And are these her cheeks? She's not pretty, is she?
Starting point is 05:12:02 Um, she is? But Dad says she is, like a lady. And he gave you her rouge, did he? Rouge, she nodded. And you wouldn't let Sam have it? No, a memoir says, Don't get to him, and he bite me. what will your father say me dad hate no but laugh put in the mother and say as a bite sputin't there a kiss brute said leslie feelingly no but he never laid a finger on her nor on me neither but he's not like another man never tells you an out
Starting point is 05:12:37 he's more estranged to me this day than he were the day as first set eyes on him where was that asked letty where i'll alas at the owl and him a new man come fair gentleman and all than all and even i can read and talk like a gentleman but he tells me nothing oh no what i am in his eyes but a sludge bump he is above me he is and above his own childer got a mercy he'll be in in a minute come on here the hostlet of the children to bed swept the litter into a corner and began to lay the table the cloth was spotless and she put him a silver spoon in the saucer we'd only just got out of the house when he drew near as saw his massive figure in the doorway, and the big prolific woman moved subservently about the room. "'Allo, Prosopini, and visitors.' "'I never asked them. They'd come in here and the children crying. I never encouraged them.' He hurried away into the night. "'Ah, it's always the woman bears the burden,' said Lettie bitterly.
Starting point is 05:13:41 "'If he'd helped her, wouldn't she have been a fine woman now? Splendid! But she's dragged to bits. Men are brutes, a marriage just gives. give scopes to them, said Emily. Oh, you wouldn't take that as a fair sample of marriage, replied Leslie. Think of you and me, minnie-haha. Hi. Oh, I meant to tell you, what do you think of grey-mead old vicarage for us? It's a lovely old place, exclaimed Lettie, and we passed out of hearing.
Starting point is 05:14:09 We stumbled over the rough path. The moon was bright, and we stepped apprehensively on the shadows thrown from the trees, for they lay so black and substantial. Occasionally a moonbeam would trace out a suave white branch that the rabbits had nought quite bare in the hard winter. It came out of the woods into the full heavens. The northern sky was full of a gush of green light. In front, eclipsed Orion leaned over his bed,
Starting point is 05:14:36 and the moon followed. When the northern lights are up, said Emily, I feel so strange, half-eary. They do fill you with awe, don't they? yes said i they make you wonder and look and expect something what do you expect she said softly and looked up and saw me smiling and she looked down again biting her lips when we came to the parting of the roads emily begged them just to step into the mill just for a moment and letty consented the kitchen window was uncurtained and the blind as usual was not drawn we peeped in through the cords of budding honeysuckle george and alice were sitting at the table playing chess the mother was mending a coat and the father as usual was reading alice was talking quietly and george was bent on the game his arms lay on the table we made a noise at the door and entered george rose heavily shook hands and sat down again hello letty burtsle you are a stranger said alice are you so much engaged ay we don't see much of her nowadays
Starting point is 05:15:45 added the father in his jovial way. And isn't she a toff in her fine hat and furs and snowdrops? Look at her, George. You never looked to see what a toff she is. He raised his eyes and looked at her apparel and at her flowers, but not at her face. Aye, she is fine, he said, and returned to the chess. We've been gathering snowdrops, said Lettie, fingering the flowers in her bosom. They are pretty. Give me some, will you? said Alice, holding out her hand. letty gave for the flowers check said george deliberately get out replied his opponent i've got some snowdrops don't they stoop me an innocent little soul like me letty won't wear them she's not meek and mild and innocent like me do you want some
Starting point is 05:16:33 if you like what for to make you pretty of course and to show you an innocent little meekling you're in check he said where can you wear them there's any your shirt or There, she stuck a few flowers in his ruffled black hair. Look, Lattie, isn't he sweet? Lettie laughed with a strange little laugh. He's like bottom and the ass's head, she said. Then I'm Titania. Don't I make a lovely fairy queen, bully bottom? And who's jealous Oberon?
Starting point is 05:17:06 He reminds me of that man in Heda Gabbler, crowned with vine leaves. Oh, yes, vine leaves, said Emily. How's your mare spray? Mr. Tempest, George asked, taking no notice of the flowers in his hair. Oh, she'll soon be all right, thanks. Ah, George told me about it, put in the father, and he held Leslie in conversation.
Starting point is 05:17:29 Have I in check, George? said Alice, returning to the game. She knitted her brows and cogitated. Poo! she said that's soon remedied. She moved her peace and said triumphantly, Now, sir. He surveyed the game, and with deliberation moved. Alice pounced on him. With the leap of her night she called, Check.
Starting point is 05:17:51 I didn't see it. You may have the game now, he said. Beaten, my boy, then crow over a woman any more. Stale mape with flowers in your hair? He put his hand to his head and felt among his hair and threw the flowers on the table. Would you believe it? said the mother, coming into the room from the dairy. What? we all asked. nicky ben's been and eaten the sile cloth yes when i went to wash it there sat nicky ben gulping and wiping the throff of his whiskers george laughed loudly and heartily he laughed soon he was tired
Starting point is 05:18:28 letty looked and wondered when he would be done i imagine he gasped how he'd feel with half a yard of muslin creeping down his throttle this laughter was most incongruous he went off into another burst addis laughed too it was easy to infect her with laughter then the father began and in walked nicky ben stepping disconsonately we all roared again till the rafters shook only letty looked impatiently for the end george swept his bare arms across the table and the scattered little flowers fell broken to the ground oh what is shame exclaimed letty what said he looking round your flowers do you feel so you feel so you feel so you feel so Sorry for them. You're too tender-hearted. Isn't she, Cyril? Always was for dumb animals and things, said I. Don't you wish you was a little dumb animal, Georgie? said Alice. He smiled, putting away the Jess men. Should we go, dear? said Lettie to Leslie.
Starting point is 05:19:32 If you are ready, he replied, rising with alacrity. I'm tired, she said plaintively. He tended to her with little tender solicitations. "'Have we walked too far?' he asked. "'No, it's not that. "'No, it's the snowdrops and the man and the children and everything. "'I feel just a bit exhausted.' "'You kissed Alice and Emily and the mother.
Starting point is 05:19:56 "'Good night, Alice,' she said. "'It's not altogether my fault we're strangers. "'You know, really, I'm just the same, really. "'Only you imagine, and then what can I do?' "'She said farewell to George "'and looked at him through a quiver of suppressed tears. George was somewhat flushed with triumph over Letty. She'd gone home with tears shaken from her eyes unknown to her lover.
Starting point is 05:20:22 At the far, George laughed with Alice. We'd brought it Alice home to Iberwich. Like a blooming little monkey dangling from two boughs, as she put it, when we'd swung her along on our arms. We laughed and said many preposterous things. George wanted to kiss her at parting, but she tipped him under the chin and said, Sweet, as one does, to a canary.
Starting point is 05:20:46 Then she laughed with her tongue between her teeth and ran indoors. He is a little devil, said he. We took the long way home by Greymead and passed the dark schools. Come on, said he, let's go in the ram-in and have a look at my cousin Meg. It was half-past ten when he marched me across the road and into the sanded passage of the little inn. The place had been an important farm,
Starting point is 05:21:12 in the days of George's grand-uncle, but since his decease it declined under the governance of the widow and a man of all work. The old grand-aunt was propped and supported by splendid granddaughter. The near kin of Meg were all in California, so she, a bonny delightful girl of twenty-four, stayed near her grandma. As we trapped gritterly down the passage, the red head of Bill poked out of the bar, and he said as he recognised George, "'Good evening. Go forward. "'There's none about yet.' He went forward and unlatched the kitchen door.
Starting point is 05:21:48 The great aunt was seated in her little round-backed-arm chair, sipping her nightcap. "'Well, George, my lad!' she cried in her querulous voice. "'I never says it's thy, doesn't her? "'I'm come for so for sure. "'Hell's what brings thee to see me?' "'No,' he said. "'I'm come to see thee. "'Now tell's.
Starting point is 05:22:09 "'Wis me.' ha ha ha me did to say come to see me ha where's meg and all's this young gentleman i was formerly introduced and shook the clammy corded hand of the old lady her look's delicate she observed shaking her cap and its scarlet uranium sadly come now sit thee down i don't look so long with the leg i sat down on the sofa on the cushions covered with blue and red checks the room was very hot and i stared about uncomfortable The old lady sat paring at nothing in reverie. He was a hard-visaged, bosomless dame, clad in thick black cloth-like armour, and wearing an immense twisted gold brooch in the lace at her neck. We heard heavy quick footsteps above. "'Astummin,' remarked the old lady, rising from her apathy. The footsteps came downstairs, quickly, then cautiously run the bend. Meg appeared in the doorway. She's
Starting point is 05:23:11 started with surprise saying, Well, I hear somebody, but I never thought it was you. All colour still flamed into her glossy cheeks, and she smiled in her fresh, frank way. I think I have never seen a woman who is more physical charm. It was a voluptuous fascination in her every outline and movement. I never listened to the words that came from my lips. One watched the right motion of those red fruits.
Starting point is 05:23:37 You'll have a drop of whiskey, Meg. You'll have a drop. i declined firmly but did not escape ney declared the old dame i shall have none of the nose should you like it ot say the word and that said it did not say the word then gamed claret pronounced my hostess though it's thin bedded stuff to go to tibedon claret it was meg went out again to see about closing the grand aunt sighed and sighed again for no perceptible reason but the whisky "'It's well you've come to see me now,' she moaned, "'for you're not having a chance next time, you con. "'No, I'm all gone, put me cap.' He shook that geraniumed erection,
Starting point is 05:24:24 and I wonder what sardonic fate left it behind. "'And I'm forced to say, I should be thankful to be gone,' she added, after a few sighs. This weariness of the flesh was touching. The cruel truth is, however, that the old lady clung to life like a louse to a pig's back. Dying, she faintly but emphatically declared herself, A bit better, a bit better, I shall be up to-morrow.
Starting point is 05:24:51 I should have gone before now, she continued, but for that blessed wench. I can't rebear to think of leaving her. Come drink up, me lad, drink up. Nay, that nub at young yet, that nun topped up with a thimbleful. I took whiskey in preference to the acrid stuff. Aye, resumed the grand-aunt,
Starting point is 05:25:11 I canna go in peace till her's settled, and as that's tickle or choosin. The right sort hasn't the gumption to axe her. She sniffed and turned scornfully to her glass. George grinned and looked conscious. As he swallowed a gulp of whiskey, it crackled in his throat. The sound annoyed the old lady. I might be scared of some but, she said. They never had six drops of spunk in thee.
Starting point is 05:25:39 He turned again with a sniff to her glass. he frowned with irritation half filled his glass with liquor and drank again i dare bettas thou never kissed a wench in thy life not proper and he tossed the last drops of her toddy down her skinny throat here meg came along the passage come grand mar she said i'm sure it's time as you was in bed come on come on sit thee down and drink a drop with it's not every night as we have company no let me take you to bed I'm sure you must be ready. Sit thee down here, I say, and get thee a drop of port. Come, no argibagying. Meg fetched more glasses than a decanter. I made a place for her between me and George.
Starting point is 05:26:26 We all had port wine. Meg, naive and unconscious, waited on us deliciously. The cheeks gleamed like satin when she laughed, save where the dimples held the shadow. Her suave, tawny neck was bare and bewitching. she turned suddenly to george as he asked her a question and they found their faces close together he kissed her and when she started back jumped and kissed her neck with warmth la lady do dee dee dee dey dey dea cried the old woman in delight and she clutched her wine-glass come on chink she cried altogether chink to him before chinked and drank george poured wine and a tumbler and drank it off he was getting excited and all the energy and passion that normally were bound down by his caution and self-instict began to flame out your aunt said he lifting his tumbler here's to what you want you know
Starting point is 05:27:26 i know there were a spunkiest anionum she cried the nubble wanted warming up i see as you're all right it's a bargain drink again everybody a bargain said he before he put his lips to the glass what bargains that said meg the old lady laughed loudly and winked at george who with his lips wet with wine got up and kissed meg soundly saying there it is that seals it meg wiped her face with her big pinafore and seemed uncomfortable aren't you coming grandma she pleaded eh that wants to hurry me off what's the say george a deep one isn't her "'You gonna go on. Don't not be sold off.' "'Tush, pish,' snorted the old lady. "'Yeah, that's a slow one and no mistakes. "'Get a candle, Meg. I'm ready.' Meg brought a brass, bedroom candlestick.
Starting point is 05:28:23 Bill brought in the money in a tin box, and delivered it into the hands of the old lady. "'All thou ways to bed, now, lad,' said she, to the ugly, wise and serving man. He sat in a corner and pulled off his boots. "'Come and kiss me good-night, George,' said the old man. woman, and as he did so she whispered in his ear, whereat he laughed loudly. She poured whiskey into her glass and called to the serving man to drink it. Then, pulling herself up heavily, she leaned on Meg and went upstairs. She had been a big woman one could see, but now her shapeless, broken figure looked pitiful beside Meg's luxuriant form. We heard
Starting point is 05:29:05 them slowly and boreously climbed the stairs. George sat pulling his moustache and half-smiling. His eyes were alight with that peculiar, chardish look they had when he was experiencing new and doubtful sensations. Then he poured himself more whiskey. I say, steady, I admonished. What for, he replied, indulging himself like a spoiled child and laughing. Hill, who sat for some time looking at the hole in his stocking,
Starting point is 05:29:33 drained his glass, and with a sad, Good night, creaked off upstairs. presently meg came down and i rose and said we must be going i d'est come and lock the door after you said she standing uneasily waiting george got up he gripped the edge of the table to steady himself then he got his balance and with his eyes on meg said here he nodded his head to her come here hodrasse sommod he looked at him half smiling half doubtful he put his arm round her and looking down into her her eyes with his face very close to hers, said, Let's have a kiss. Quite unresisting, she yielded him her mouth, looking at him intently with her bright brown eyes.
Starting point is 05:30:21 He kissed her and pressed her closely to him. I'm going to marry thee, he said. Go on, she replied softly, half glad, half doubtful. I am an owl, he repeated, pressing her more tightly to him. I went down the passage and stood in the open doorway looking out into the night. It seemed a long time. Then I heard the thin voice of the old woman at the top of the stairs. Meg, Meg, send him off now.
Starting point is 05:30:50 Come on. In the silence that followed, there was a murmur of voices, and then they came to the passage. Good night, me lad. Good look to thee, cried the voice like a gul from upper regions. He kissed his betrothed, a rather hurried good-night at the door. "'Good night,' she replied softly, watching him retreat, "'and we heard her shoot the heavy bolts.
Starting point is 05:31:16 "'You know,' he began, and he tried to clear his throat. "'His voice was husky and strangulated with excitement. "'He tried again. "'You know, she's a clinker!' "'I did not reply, but he took no notice. "'Dum!' he ejaculated. "'What did I let her go for?' "'Walked along in silence.
Starting point is 05:31:38 excitement abated somewhat. It's the way she swings her body and the curves as she stands. It's when you look at her you feel, you know. I suppose I knew, but it was unnecessary to say so. You know, ever I dream in the night of women, you know, it's always Meg. She seems to look so soft and to curve her body. Gradually his feet began to drag. When we came to the place where the colliery railway crossed the road, he stumbled and pitched. forward, only just recovering himself. I took hold of his arm. "'Good Lord Cyril, am I drunk?' he said. "'Not quite,' said I. "'No,' he muttered. Couldn't be.'
Starting point is 05:32:21 But his feet dragged again, and he began to stagger from side to side. "'I took hold of his arm,' he murmured angrily, then subsiding again muttered with slovenly articulation. I feel fit to drop with sleep. Along the dead silent roadway and through the uneven blackness of the wood, we lurched and stumbled. He was very heavy and difficult to direct. When at last we came to the brook, we splashed straight through the water.
Starting point is 05:32:52 I urged him to walk steadily and quietly across the yard. He did his best, and he made a fairly still entry into the farm. He dropped with all his weight on the sofa, and, leading down, began to unfasten his leggings. In the midst of his fumblings, he fell asleep, and I was afraid he would pitch forward onto his head. I took off his leggings and his wet boots and his collar. Then, as I was pushing and shaking him awake to get off his coat,
Starting point is 05:33:20 I heard creaking on the stairs, and my heart sank, for I thought it was his mother. But it was Emily, in her long white nightcomb. She looked at us with great dark eyes of terror, and whispered, what's the matter i shook my head and looked at him his head had dropped down on his chest again is he heard she asked her voice becoming audible and dangerous he lifted his head and looked at her with heavy angry eyes george she said sharply in bewilderment and fear his eyes seemed to contract evilly is he drunk she whispered shrinking away and looking at me have you made him drunk you I nodded. My tune was angry. If mother gets up, I must get into bed. Oh, how could you?
Starting point is 05:34:11 His simulant whispering irritated him and me. I tugged at his coat. He snarled incoherently and swore. She caught her breath. He looked at her sharply, and I was afraid he would wake himself into a rage. Upstairs, I whispered to her. She shook her head. I could see him taking heavy breaths and the veins of his neck. were swelling. I was furious at her disobedience. Go at once, I said fiercely, and she went, still hesitating and looking back. I had hauled off his coat and waistcoat, so I let him sink again into stupidity when I took off my boots. Then I got into his feet, and, walking behind him,
Starting point is 05:34:51 impelled him slowly upstairs. A little candle in his bedroom. There was no sound from the other rooms. So I undressed him and got him in bed at last somehow. I covered him up and put over him the calf-skin rug because the night was cold. Almost immediately he began to breathe heavily. I dragged him over to his side and pillowed his head comfortably. He looked like a tired boy asleep. I stood still, now I felt myself alone and looked round. Up to the low roof rose the carven pillars of dark mahogany.
Starting point is 05:35:27 There was a chair by the bed and a little yellow chest of drawers by the windows. That was all the furniture, save the calf-skin rug on the floor. In the drawers I noticed a book. It was a copy of Omar Cayam that Lettie had given him in her Kayam days, a little shilling book with coloured illustrations. I blew out the candle when I had looked at him again. As I crept onto the landing, Emily peeped from her room, whispering, Is he in bed?
Starting point is 05:35:55 I nodded and whispered, good night. Then I went home, heavily. After the evening at the farm, Letty and Leslie drew closer together. They edded unevenly down the little stream of courtship, jostling and drifting together and apart. He was unsatisfied and strove through every effort to bring her close to him, submissive. Gradually, she yielded and submitted to him. She folded round her and him, the snug curtain of the present, and they sat like children playing again. behind the hangings of an old bed. She shut out all distant outlooks as an Arab unfolds his tent and conquers the mystery and space of the desert. So she lived at Leafly in a little tent of present pleasures and fancies. Occasionally, only occasionally, she would peep from her tent into the out-space. Then she sat poring over books, and nothing would be able to draw her away. Or she sat in her room looking out of the window for hours together. she pleaded headaches mother said liver he angry like a spoilt child denied his wish declared it moodiness and perversity
Starting point is 05:37:08 end of part two chapter one part two chapter two of the white peacock by d h lawrence this librivox recording is in the public domain according by simon evers part two chapter two a shadow in spring With spring came trouble. The Saxons declared they were being bitten off the estate by rabbits. Suddenly, in a fit of despair, the farmer bought a gun. Although he knew that the squire would not for one moment tolerate the shooting of that manner, the rabbits, yet he was out in the first cold morning twilight banging away. At first he but scared the brutes and brought animal on the scene. Then, blooded by the use of the weapon, he played havoc among the furry beasts,
Starting point is 05:38:09 bringing home some eight or nine couples. George entirely approved of this measure. It rejoiced him even. Yet he had never had the initiative to be given the like himself or even to urge his father to it. He prophesied a trouble and a possible loss of the farm. It disturbed him somewhat to think they must look out for another place, but he postponed the thought of the evil day till the time should be upon him.
Starting point is 05:38:37 A vendetta was established between the mill, and the keeper animal. The latter cherished his rabbits. Call him vermin, he said. I only know one sort of vermin, and that's the talking salt. So he set himself to Thwart and Harris the rabbit slayers. It was about this time I cultivated the acquaintance of the keeper. All the world hated him. To the people in the villages he was like a devil of the woods. Some miners had sworn vengeance on him for having caused their committal to jail. But he had a great attraction for me, his magnificent physique, his great vigour and vitality,
Starting point is 05:39:15 and his swarthy, gloomy face drew me. He was a man of one idea, that all civilisation was the painted fungus of rottenness. He hated any sign of culture. I won his respect one afternoon when he found me trespassing in the woods because I was watching some maggots at work in a dead rabbit. That led us to a discussion of life. He was a thorough materialist, he scorned religion and all mysticism. He spent his day sleeping, making intricate traps for weasels and men, putting together a gun,
Starting point is 05:39:50 or doing some amateur forestry, cutting down timber, splitting it in logs for use in the hall, and planting young trees. When he thought, he reflected on the decay of mankind, the decline of the human race into folly and weakness and rottenness. animal instinct was his motto with all this he was fundamentally very unhappy and he made me also wretched it was this power to communicate his unhappiness that made me somewhat dear to him i think he treated me as an affectionate father treats a delicate son i noticed he liked to put his hand on my shoulder or my knee as we talked yet withal he asked me questions and saved his thoughts to tell me and believed in my knowledge like any acolyte. I went up to the quarry woods one evening in early April, taking a look for animal.
Starting point is 05:40:47 I could not find him, however, in the wood. So I left the wildlands and went along by the old red wall of the kitchen garden, along the main road as far as the mouldering church, which stands high on a bank by the roadside, just where the trees tunnel the darkness, and the gloom of the highway startles the travellers at noon. Great trees growing on the banks suddenly fold over everything at this, point in the swinging road and in the obscurity rots the hall church black and melancholy
Starting point is 05:41:16 above the shrinking head of the traveller the grassy path to the churchyard was still clogged with decayed leaves the church is abandoned as i drew near an owl floated softly out of the black tower grass overgrew the threshold i pushed open the door grinding back a heap of fallen plaster and rubbish and entered the place. In the twilight, the pews were leaning in ghostly disorder. The prayer-brooks dragged from their ledges, scattered on the floor in the dust and rubble, torn by mice and birds. Birds scuffled in the darkness of the roof.
Starting point is 05:41:54 I looked up. In the upper well at the tower, I could see a bell hanging. I stooped and picked up a piece of plaster from the ragged confusion of feathers and broken nests and remnants of dead birds. Up into the vault overhead I tossed pieces of plaster until one hit the bell and it tonged out its faint remonstrance. There was a rustle of many birds like spirits. I sounded the bell again and dark forms moved with cries of alarm overhead and something fell heavily. I shivered in the dark, evil-smelling place and hurried to get out of doors. I touched my hands with relief and pleasure when I saw the sky above me quivering with the last crystal lights
Starting point is 05:42:40 and the lowest red of sunset behind the euboles. I drank the fresh air that sparkled with the sound of the blackbirds and thrushes whistling their strong, bright notes. I strayed round to where the headstones from their eminence leaned to look on the hall below, where great windows shone yellow light onto the flagged courtyard and the little fish-pool. A stone staircase descended from the graveyard to the court, between stone balustrades, whose pock-marked grey columns still swelled gracefully and with dignity, encrusted with lichens. The staircase was filled with ivy and rambling roses, impassable. Burns were unrolling round the big square halting place, halfway down where the styrus turned. A peacock, startled from the back premises of the hall, came flapping up the tent.
Starting point is 05:43:34 terraces to the churchyard. Then a heavy footstep crossed the flags. It was the keeper. I whistled the whistle he knew, and he broke his way through the vicious rose-boughs up the stairs. The peacock flapped beyond me onto the neck of an old bowed angel, rough and dark, an angel which had long ceased to sorry for the lost Lucy, and had died also. The bird bent its voluptuous neck and peered about. Then it lifted up its head and yelled. The sound tore the dark sanctuary of twilight. The old grey grass seemed to stir, and I could fancy the smothered primroses and violets beneath it, waking and gasping for fear. The keeper looked at me and smiled. He nodded his head towards the peacock, saying, "'Arke of that damn thing!' Again the bird lifted its crested head and gave a cry,
Starting point is 05:44:29 at the same time, turning awkwardly on its ugly legs, so that it showed us the full wealth of its tail, glimmering like a stream of coloured stars over the sunken face of the angel. The proud fool! Look at it! Perched on an angel, too, as if it were a pedestal for vanity. That's the soul of a woman. Or, it's the devil.
Starting point is 05:44:52 He was silent for a time, and we watched the great bird moving uneasily before us in the twilight. That's the very soul of a lady, he said. The very, very soul, doubt the thing to perch on that old angel. I should like to wring its neck. Again the bird screamed and shifted awkwardly on its legs. It seemed to stretch its beak at us in derision. Annibal picked up a piece of sword and flung it at the bird saying,
Starting point is 05:45:19 Get out, you screeching devil! God! He laughed. There must be plenty of hearts twisting under here. and he stamped on a grave. When they hear that row! He kicked another sod from a grave and threw at the big bird. The peacock flapped away over the tombs down the terraces. Just look, he said.
Starting point is 05:45:40 The miserable Bruce has dirtied that angel. A woman to the end, I tell you all vanity and screech and defilement. He sat down on a vault and lit his pipe. But before he had spoke to two minutes, it was out again. I had not seen him in a state of trouble. perturbation before. The church, said I, is rotten. I suppose there stand all over the country like this soon,
Starting point is 05:46:05 with peacocks trailing the graveyards. Aye, he muttered, taking no notice of me. This stone is cold, I said, rising. He got up too and stretched his arms as if he were tired. It was quite dark, save for the waxing moon which leaned over the east. It's a very fine night, I said. don't you notice a smell of violets ay the mood looks like a woman with child i wonder what time's got in her belly you i said you don't expect anything exciting do you exciting no but as exciting as this rotten old place just rot off oh my god i'm like a good house built and finished and left to tumble down again with nobody to live in it
Starting point is 05:46:53 why what's up really he laughed bitterly saying come and sit down he led me off to a seat by the north door between two pews very black and silent there we sat he putting his gun carefully beside him he remained perfectly still thinking what's up he said at last why i'll tell you i went to cambridge my father was a big cattle-dealer he died bankrupt while i was in college and i never took my degree they persuaded me to be a parson and a parson i was i went to curate to a little place in leicestershire a bonny place with not many people and a fine old church and a great rich parsonage i hadn't overmuch to do and the rector he was the son of an earl was generous he led me a horse and would have me hunt like the rest i always think of that place where the smell of honeysuckle while the grass is wet in the morning it was fine and i enjoyed myself and did the parish work all right i believe i was pretty good a cousin of the rectors used to come in the hunting season a lady christabel lady in her own right the second year i was there she came in june there wasn't much company so she used to talk to me i used to read then and she used to pretend to be so childish and unknowing and would get me telling her things and talking to her and i just to read then and she used to pretend to be so childish and unknowing and would get me telling her things and talking to her and i and I was hot on things. We was play tennis together and ride together,
Starting point is 05:48:29 and I must row her down the river. She said we were in the wilderness and could do as we liked. He made me wear flannels and soft clothes. She was very fine and frank and unconventional, ripping, I thought her. All the summer she stopped on. I should meet her in the garden early in the morning when I came from a swim in the river. It was cleared and deepened on purpose. and she blush and make me walk with her.
Starting point is 05:48:57 I can remember I used to stand and dry myself on the bank, fool where she might see me. I was mad on her, and she was madder on me. We went to some caves in Derbyshire once, and she would wander from the rest and loiter, and for a game we played a sort of hide-and-seek with the party. They thought we'd gone, and they went and locked the door. Then she pretended to be frightened and clung to me
Starting point is 05:49:22 and said what would they think and hid her face in my coat. I took her and kissed her, and we made it up properly. I found out afterwards, she actually told me, she got the idea from a sloppy French novel, The Romance of a Poor Young Man. I was the Poor Young Man. We got married. She gave me a living she had in her parsonage,
Starting point is 05:49:46 and we went to live at her hall. She would let me out of her sight. Lord, we were an infatuated couple, and she would choose to view me in an aesthetic light. I was Greek statues for her, bless you, Croton, Hercules, I don't know what. He had her own way too much. I let her do as she'd liked with me. Then, gradually, she got tired. It took her three years to be ready, blutted with me. I had a forsook then, for that matter, I have now.
Starting point is 05:50:18 He held out his arm to me and made me try his muscle. I was startled. The hard flesh almost filled his sleeve. He continued, you don't know what it is to have the pride of a body like mine. But she wouldn't have children. No, she wouldn't. Said she dared. That was the root of the difference at first.
Starting point is 05:50:40 But she cooled down, and if you don't know the pride of my body, you'd never know my humiliation. I tried to remonstrate, and she looked simply as simple. I was astounded at my cheek. I never got over that amazement. She began to get solely. Her poet got hold of her and she began to affect Byrne Jones or Waterhouse. It was Waterhouse. She was a lot like one of his women, Lady of Charlotte, I believe.
Starting point is 05:51:05 At any rate she got solely and I was her animal. Son animal, son boff. I put up with that for above a year. Now I got some servants clothes and went. I was seen in France, then in Australia, though I never left England. I was supposed to have died in the bush. She married a young fellow, then I was proved to have died, and I had a little obituary notice on myself on a woman's paper she's subscribed to.
Starting point is 05:51:35 She wrote it herself, as a warning to other young ladies of position not to be seduced by plausible poor young men. Now, she's dead. They've got the paper, her paper, in the case. kitchen down there, it's full of photographs, even an old photo of me, an unfortunate misalliance. I feel somehow as if I were at an end, too. I thought I'd grown a solid middle-aged man, and here I feel sore as I did at 26, and I talk as I used to. One thing, I have got some children, and thereof a breed as you'd not meet anywhere. I was a good animal before anything, and I've got some children. He sat looking up where the big moon swam to the black branches of the
Starting point is 05:52:24 yew. So she's dead, your poor peacock, I murmured. Got up, looking always at the sky and stretched himself again. He was an impressive figure masked in blackness against the moonlight with his arms outspread. "'I suppose,' he said, it wasn't all her fault. "'A white peacock, we will say,' I suggested. he laughed go home by the top robe will you he said i believe there's something on in the bottom wood all right i answered with a quiver of apprehension yes she was fair enough he muttered i said i rising i held out my hand from the shadow i was startled myself by the white sympathy it seemed to express extended towards him in the moonlight he gripped it and cleaved to me for a moment then he was gone i went out of the churchyard feeling a sudden resentment against the tousal graves that lay inanimate across my way the air was heavy to breathe and fearful in the shadow of the great trees i was glad when i came out on the bare white road i could see the copper lights from the reflectors of a ponycart's lamps and could hear the amiable chit-chat of the hoofs trotting towards me
Starting point is 05:53:51 i was lonely when they had passed over the hill the big flushed face of the moon poised just above the tree-tops very majestic and far off yet imminent i turned with swift sudden friendliness to the net of elm-bires spread over my head dotted with soft clusters winsomely i jumped up and pulled the cool soft tufts against my face for company and as i passed still i reached upward for the touch of this budded gentleness of the trees the wood breathed fragrantly with a subtle sympathy the firs softened their touch to me and the larches woke from the barren winter sleep and put out velvet fingers to caress me as i passed only the clean bare branches of the ash stood emblem of the discipline of life i looked down on the blackness where trees filled the quarry and the valley bottoms and it seemed that the world my own home world was strange again Some four or five days, after Animal had talked to me in the churchyard, I went out to find him again. It was Sunday morning. The larch wood was afloat with clear, lyric green, and some primroses scattered whitely on the edge under the fringing boughs. There was a clear morning, as when the latent life of the world begins to vibrate afresh in the air.
Starting point is 05:55:19 The smoke from the cottage rose blue and events the trees and thick yellow against the sky. The fire it seemed was only just lighted, and the wood smoke poured out. Sam appeared outside the house and looked round. Then he climbed the water trough for a better survey. Evidently unsatisfied, paying slight attention to me, he jumped down and went running across the hillside to the wood. He's going for his father, I said to myself, and I left the path to follow him downhill across the waste meadow, cracking the blanched stems of last year's thistles as I went and stumbling in rabbit holes. He reached the wall that ran along the quarry's edge and was over it in a twinkling.
Starting point is 05:56:02 When I came to the place, I was somewhat nonplast, for, sheer from the stone fence, the quarry side dropped for some twenty or thirty feet, piled up with unmortened stones. I looked round. There was a plain, dark thread down the hillside which marked a path to this spot, and the wall was scorned with the marks of heavy boots. Then I looked again down the quarry side and I saw, how could I have failed to see,
Starting point is 05:56:30 stones projecting to make an uneven staircase, such as is often seen in the Derbyshire fences. I saw this ladder was well used, so I trusted myself to it and scrambled down clinging to the face of the quarry wall. Once down, I felt pleased with myself for having discovered and used the unknown access, and i admired the care and ingenuity of the keeper who had fitted and wedged the long stones into the uncertain pile it was warm in the quarry there the sunshine seemed to thicken and sweeten there the little mounds of overgrown waste were aglow with very early dog violence
Starting point is 05:57:09 there the sparks were coming out on the bits of gorse and among the stones the coltfoot plumes were already silvery here was spring sitting just awake unloosening her glittering hair and opening her purple eyes. I went across the quarry down to where the brook ran murmuring a tail to the primroses and the budding trees. I was startled from my wandering among the fresh things by a faint clatter of stones. What's that young rascal doing? I said to myself, setting forth to sea. I came towards the other side of the quarry. On this the moister side the bushes grew up against the wall, which was higher than on the other side. though piled the same with old dry stones.
Starting point is 05:57:56 As I drew near, I could hear the scrape and rattle of stones and the vigorous grunting of Sam as he laboured among them. He was hidden by a great bush of sallow catkins, all yellow, and murmuring with bees, warm with spice. When he came in view, I laughed to see him lugging and grunting among the great pile of stones that have fallen in a mass from the quarry side, a pile of stones and earth and crushed vegetation. There was a great bare gap in the quarry wall.
Starting point is 05:58:29 Somehow the lad's laboring earnestness made me anxious, and I hurried up. He heard me, and, dancing round, his face red with exertion, eyes big with terror, he called, commanded me, put him off him! Pull him off! Suddenly my heart beating in my throat nearly suffocated me. I saw the hand of the keeper lying among the stones. I set to tearing away the stones and we worked for some time without a word. Then I seized the arm of the keeper and tried to drag him out, but I could not. Put it off him, whined the lad, working in a frenzy.
Starting point is 05:59:01 When we got him out, I saw it once. He was dead. I sat down trembling with exertion. There was a great smashed wound on the side of the head. Sam put his face against his father's and stuffled around him like a dog to feel the life in him. child looked at me he won't get up he said and his little voice was hoarse with fear and anxiety i shook my head then the boy began to whimper he tried to close the lips which were drawn with pain and death leaving the teeth bare then his fingers hovered round the eyes which were wide open glazed and i could see he was trembling to touch them into life he's not asleep he said because his eyes is open look i could not bear the child's questioning terror i took him up to carry him away but he struggled and fought to be free may him get up make him get up he cried in a frenzy and i had to let the boy go he ran to the dead man calling faither faitha and pulling his shoulder then he sat down fascinated by the sight of the wound he put up
Starting point is 06:00:19 let his finger to touch it and shivered. Come away, said I. Is it that? he asked, pointed to the wound. I cover the face with a big silk handkerchief. Now, said I, he'll go to sleep if you don't touch him. So sit still while I go and fetch somebody. Will you run to the hall? He shook his head.
Starting point is 06:00:42 I knew he would not. So I had told him again not to touch his father, but to let him lie still till I came back. he watched me go but did not move from his seat on the stones beside the dead man though i know he was full of terror at being left alone i ran to the hall i did not go to the kennels in a short time i was back with the squire and three men as i know the way i saw the child lifting a corner of the handkerchief to peep and see the eyes were closed in sleep then he heard us and started violently When we removed the covering and he saw the face unchanged in its horror. He looked at me with a look I have never forgotten. A bad business, an awful business, repeated the squire.
Starting point is 06:01:31 Bad business. I said to him from the first that the stones might come down when he was going up, and he said he had taken care to fix them. But you can't be sure, you can't be certain. And he'd be about halfway up, high, and the whole wall would come down on him. an awful business it is it is really terrible piece of work they decided at the inquest that the death came by misadventure but there were vague rumours in the village that this was revenge which had overtaken the keeper they decided to bury him in our churchyard at greymead under the beaches the widow would have it so and nothing might be denied her in her state it was a magnificent morning in early spring when i watched among the trees to see the procession come down the hillside.
Starting point is 06:02:22 The upper air was woven with the music of the larks, and my whole world thrilled with the conception of summer. The young pale windflowers had arisen by the woodgale, and under the hazels, when perchance the hot sun pushed his way, new little suns dawned and blazed with real light. There was a certain thrill and quickening everywhere, as a woman must feel when she has conceived.
Starting point is 06:02:48 A sallow tree in a favoured spot looked like a pale gold cloud of summer dawn. Nearer it had poised a golden fairy busby on every twig and was voiced with a hum of bees, like any sacred golden bush, uttering its gladness in the thrilling murmur of bees and in warm scent. Birds called and flashed on every hand, they made off exultant with streaming strands of grass or wisps of fleece, plunging into the dark spaces of the wood and out again into the blue. A lad moved across the field from the farm below with a dog trotting behind him.
Starting point is 06:03:28 A dog, no, a fussy black-lake lamb trotting along on its toes with its tail swinging behind. They were going to the mothers on the common, who moved like little grey clouds among the dark gross. I cannot help forgetting, and sharing the sphinx triumph, when he flashes past with a fleece from the bramble-bush. It will cover the bedded moss. It will weave among the soft red cowhair beautifully. It is a prize. It is an ecstasy to have captured it at the right moment, and the nest is nearly ready. Ah, but the thrush is scornful, ringing out his voice from the hedge. He sets his breast against the mud and models it warm with the turquoise eggs, blue, blue, bluest of eggs, which cluster so close and round against the breasts, which
Starting point is 06:04:19 round up beneath the breast nestling content. You should see the bright ecstasy in the eyes of a nesting thrush because of the rounded caress of the eggs against her breast. What a hurry that Jenny Wren makes, hoping I shall not see her dart into the low bush. I have a delight in watching them against their shy little wills. But they have all risen with a rush of wings and are gone the birds. The air is brushed with agitation. There is no lark in the sky, not one. The heaven is clear of wings or twinkling dot.
Starting point is 06:04:53 Till the heralds come, till the heralds wave like shadows in the bright air, crying, lamenting, fretting forever. Rising and failing and circling round and round, the slow-waving pee-wits cry and complain and lift their broad wings in sorrow. They stooped suddenly to the sea. the ground, and lapwings. Then in another throb of anguish and protest, they swing up again,
Starting point is 06:05:19 offering a glistening white breast to the sunlight, to deny it in black's shadow, then a glisten of green, and all the time, crying and crying in despair. The pheasants are frightened into cover, they run and dart through the hedge. The cold cock must fly in his haste, spread himself on his streaming plumes, and sail into the wood's security. There is a cry in answer to the Peevitz, echoing louder and stronger the lamentation of the lapwings, a whale which hushes the birds. The men come over the brow of the hill, slowly, with the old squire walking tall and straight in front. Six bowed men bearing the coffin on their shoulders, treading heavily and cautiously, under the great weight of the glistening white coffin. Six men following behind, ill at ease, waiting their turn for the burden.
Starting point is 06:06:15 You could see the red handkerchiefs knotted round their throats, and their shirt-fronts blue and white between the open waistcoats. The coffin is of new, unpolished wood, gleaming and glistening in the sunlight. The men who carry it remember all their lives after the smell of new, warm elmwood. Again a loud cry from the hilltop. The woman has followed thus far, the big, shapeless woman, and she cries with loud cries after the white coffin as it descends the hill, and the children that cling to her skirts weep aloud and are not to be hushed by the other woman, who bends over them, but does not form one of the group. Other crying frightens the birds and the rabbits, and the lambs away there run to their mothers. But the pee-wits are not frightened. They add their notes to the sorrow. They circle after the wild.
Starting point is 06:07:08 white retreating coffin, they circle round the woman. It is they who forever keen the sorrows of this world. They are like priests in their robes, more black than white, more grief than hope, driving endlessly round and round, turning, lifting, falling and crying always in mournful desolation, repeating their last syllables like the broken accents of despair. The bearers have at last sunk between the high banks and turned out of sight. The big woman cannot see them, and yet she stands to look. She must go home, there is nothing left. They have rested the coffin on the gate-posts, and the bearers are wiping the sweat from their faces.
Starting point is 06:07:54 They have put their hands to their shoulders on the place where the weight has pressed. The other six are placing the pads on their shoulders when a girl comes up with a jug and a blue pot. The squire drinks first and fills for the rest. Meanwhile the girl stands back under the hedge away from the coffin, which smells of new elmwood. In imagination she pictures the man shut up there in close darkness, while the sunlight flows all outside, and she catches her breast with terror. She must turn and rustle among the leaves of the virus for the flowers she does not see. Then, trembling, she comes to herself at plucks of few flowers and breathes them hungrily into her soul for comfort.
Starting point is 06:08:39 The men put down the pots beside her with thanks, and the squire gives the word. The bearers lift up the burden again, and the elm boughs rattle along the hollow white wood, and the pitiful red clusters of elm flowers sweep along it as if they whispered in sympathy. You're so sorry, so sorry. Always the compassionate buds in their fullness of life bend down to comfort the dark man shut up there. perhaps the girl thinks he hears them and goes softly to sleep she shakes the tears out of her eyes on to the ground and taking up her pots go slowly down over the brooks in a while i too got up and went down to the mill which lay red and peaceful with the blue smoke rising as witsomely and carelessly as ever on the other side of the valley i could see a pair of horses nod slowly across the fallow a man's voice called to them now and again with the resonance that had filled me with longing to follow my horses over the fallow in the still lonely valley full of sunshine and eternal forgetfulness
Starting point is 06:09:53 the day had already forgotten the water was blue and white and dark burnished with shadows two swans sailed across the reflected trees with perfect blithe grace the bloom that had passed across was gone i watched the swan with his ruffled wings swell onwards i watched his slim consort go peeping into corners and under bushes i saw him steer clear of the bushes to keep full in view turning his head to me imperiously till i longed to pelt him with the empty husks of last year's flowers napweed and scabias i was too indolent and i turned instead to the orchard There the daffodils were lifting their heads and throwing back their yellow curls. At the foot of each sloping, grey, old tree stood a family of flowers, some burst in with golden foolish, some lifting their head slightly, to show a modest, sweet countenance, others still hiding their faces, leading forward pensively from the jaunty grey-green spears. I wished I had their language to talk to them distinctly.
Starting point is 06:11:04 overhead the trees with lifted fingers shook out their hair to the sun decking themselves with buds as white and cool as a water nymph's breast i began to be very glad the colt's foot discs glowed and laughed in a merry company down the path i stroked the velvet faces and laughed also and i smelled the scent of black currant leaves which is full of childish memories the house was quiet and complacent it was peopled with ghosts again but the ghosts had only come to enjoy the warm place once more carrying sunshine in their arms and scattering it through the dusk of gloomy rooms end of part two chapter two part two chapter three of the white peacock by d h lawrence this library box recording is in the public domain recording by simon evers part two chapter three the irony of inspired moments it happened the next day after the funeral i came upon reproductions of aubrey beardsley's at alanta and of the tailpiece salami and others I sat and looked, and my soul leaped out upon the new thing. I was bewildered, wondering, grudging, fascinated. I looked a long time, but my mind, or my soul, would come to no state of coherence.
Starting point is 06:12:47 I was fascinated and overcome, but yet full of stubbornness and resistance. Letty was out, so, although it was dinner-time, even because it was dinner-time, I took the book and went down to the mill. The dinner was over. There was the fragrance of cooked rhubarb in the room. I went straight to Emily, who was leaning back in her chair, and put the salami before her. Look, said I. Look here. She looked. She was short-sighted and peered close. I was impatient for her to speak.
Starting point is 06:13:20 She turned slowly at last and looked at me, shrinking with questioning. Well, I said. Isn't it fearful? she replied softly. no why is it it makes you feel why have you brought it i wanted you to see it already i felt relieved seeing that she too was caught in the spell george came and bent over my shoulder i could feel the heavy warmth of him good lord he drawled half amused the children came crowding to see and emily closed the book i should be late hurry up dave and she went to wash her hair hands before going to school. Give it to me, will you? George asked, putting out his hand for the book. I gave it to him, and he sat down to look at the drawings. When Molly crept near to look, he angrily shouted to her
Starting point is 06:14:15 to get away. She pulled a mouth and got her hat over her wild brown curls. Emily came in ready for school. I'm going. Goodbye, she said, and she waited hesitatingly. I moved to get my cap. he looked up with a new expression in his eyes and said are you going wait a bit i'm coming i waited oh very well good-bye said emily and she departed when he had looked long enough he got up and we went out he kept his finger between the pages of the book as he carried it we went towards the farrow land without speaking there he sat down on a bank leaning his back against a holly tree and saying very calm me. There's no need to be in any hurry now. Whereupon he proceeded to study the illustrations. You know, he said at last, I do want her. I started at the irrelevance of this remark and said, Who? Letty, we've got notice, did you know? I started to my feet this time with amazement. Notice to leave? What for? Rabbits, I expect. I wish she'd have me.
Starting point is 06:15:31 to leave Strelie Mill, I repeated. That's it, and I'm rather glad. But do you think she might have me, Cyril? What a shame, where would you go? And do you lie there joking? I don't, never mind about the damn notice. I want her more than anything. And the more I look at these naked lines, the more I want her. It's a sort of fine, sharp feeling like these curved lines. I don't know what I'm saying, but do you think she'd have to be. have me. Has she seen these pictures? No. If she'd did, perhaps she'd want me. I mean she'd feel it clear and sharp coming through her. I'll show her and see. I've been sort of thinking about it since Father had that notice. It seemed as if the ground was pooled from under our feet.
Starting point is 06:16:21 I never felt so lost. Then I began to think of her, if she'd have me. But not clear till you showed me those pictures. I must have her if I can. and I must have something. It's rather ghostish to have the road suddenly smudged out and all the world anywhere, nowhere for you to go. I must get something sure, soon, or else I feel as if I should fall from somewhere and hurt myself. I'll ask her.
Starting point is 06:16:48 I looked at him as he lay there under the holly tree, his face all dreamy and boyish, very unusual. You'll ask, Lettie, said I. When? How? I must ask her quick, while I feel as if everything had gone and I was ghostish. I think I must sound rather a lunity. He looked at me and his eyelids hung heavy over his eyes as if he had been drinking or as if he were tired. Is she at home? He said. No, she's got to not him. She'll be home before dark. I'll see her then. Can you smell
Starting point is 06:17:23 violets? I replied that I could not. He was sure that he could and he seemed uneasy till he had justified the sensation. So he arose very leisurely and went along the bank looking closely for the flowers. I knew I could, white ones. He sat down and picked three flowers and held them to his nostrils and inhaled their fragrance. Then he put them to his mouth and I saw his strong white teeth crush them. He chewed them for a while without speaking. Then he spat them out and gathered more. They remind me of her too, he said, and he twisted a piece of honeysackle stem round the bunch and handed it to me. A white violet is she? I smiled. Give them to her, and tell her to come and meet me just when it's getting dark in the wood. But if she won't,
Starting point is 06:18:15 she will. If she's not at home, come and tell me. He lay down again with his head among the green varlet leaves, saying, I ought to work because it all counts in the valuation, but I don't care. He lay looking at me for some time. Then he said, I don't suppose I shall have above 20 pounds left when we sold up, but she's got plenty of money to start with, if she has me, in Canada. I could get well off and she could have what she wanted. I'm sure she'd have what she wanted. He took it all calmly as if it were realised. I was somewhat amused. What frock will she have on when she comes to meet me? he asked.
Starting point is 06:19:00 I don't know. The same as she's gone to Nottingham in, I suppose. A sort of gold-brown costume with a rather tight-fitting coat. Why? I was thinking how she'd look. What chickens are you counting now? I asked. But what do you think I look best in? he replied. You? Just as you are. No, put that old smooth cloth. coat on, that's all. I smiled as I told him, but he was very serious. Can't I put my new clothes on?
Starting point is 06:19:30 No, you want to leave your neck showing. Put his hands to his throat and said naively, Do I? And it amused him. Then he lay looking dreamily up into the tree. I left him and went wandering round the fields, finding flowers and bird's nests. When I came back it was nearly four o'clock. He stood up and stretched himself. He pulled out his watch. "'Good Lord,' he drawled. "'I've lain there thinking all afternoon.
Starting point is 06:20:00 "'I didn't know I could do such a thing. Where have you been?' "'It's with being all upset, you see. You left the violence. Here, take them, will you, and tell her, I'll come when it's getting dark.' "'I feel like somebody else, or else really like myself. I hope I shan't wake up to the other things, you know, like I am always, before then.' not. Oh, I don't know. Oh, no, I feel as if I could talk straight off without arranging, like birds, without knowing what note is coming next. When I was going, he said, Here, leave me that book. It'll keep me like this. I mean, I'm not the same as I was yesterday,
Starting point is 06:20:39 and that book will keep me like it. Perhaps it's a biddy a spout. I do sometimes have one if something very extraordinary happens. When it's getting dark, then? Lettie had not arrived when I went home. I put the violets and a little vars on the table. i remembered he wanted her to see the drawings it was perhaps as well he had kept them he came about six o'clock in the motor-car with marie but the latter did not descend i went out to assist with the parcels letty had already begun to buy things the wedding was fixed for july the room was soon over-covered with stuffs table linen underclothing pieces of silken stuff and lace stuff patterns for carpets and curtains a whole gleaming glow rowing array. Letty was very delighted. She could hardly wait to take off her hat, but went round cutting the string of her parcels, opening them, talking all the time to my mother. Look, little woman, I've got a ready-made underskirt. Isn't it lovely? Listen! And she ruffled
Starting point is 06:21:40 it through her hands. Can't I sound splendid? Fru-frou. But it is a charming shade, isn't it, and not a bit bulky or clumsy anywhere? She put the band of the skirt against her waist, and put forward her foot, and looked down, saying, "'It's just the right length, isn't it, little woman?' "'And they said I was tall. It was a wonder. "'Don't you were your, little?' "'Oh, you won't confess it. "'Yes, you like to be as fine as anybody.
Starting point is 06:22:05 "'That's why I bought you this piece of silk. "'Isn't it sweet, though. "'You needn't say there's too much lavender in it. "'There it is not.' "'Now,' she pleaded it up and held it against my mother's chin, "'it suits you beautifully, doesn't it? "'Don't you like it, sweet? "'You don't seem to like it a bit, and I'm sure it suits you,
Starting point is 06:22:22 "'makes you look ever so young. I wish you would be so old-fashioned in your notions. You do like it, don't you? Of course I do. I was only thinking what an extravagant mortal you are when you begin to buy. You know you mustn't keep on always, Now, now, sweet, don't be naughty and preachy. Such a treat to go by.
Starting point is 06:22:41 You will come with me next time, went you? Oh, I have enjoyed it, but I wished you were there. Marie takes anything, she's so easy to suit. I'd like to have a good buy. Oh, it was splendid. and there's lots more yet. Oh, did you see this cushion cover? These are the covers I want for that room, gold and amber.
Starting point is 06:23:00 This was a bad opening. I watched the shadows darken further and further along the brightness, hushing the glitter of the water. I watched the golden brightness come upon the west and thought the wrong contra was never to take place. At last, however, Lettie flung herself down with a sigh, saying she was tired. Come into the dining-room and have a cup of tea, said Mother. I told Rebecca to mash when you came in.
Starting point is 06:23:26 All right. Lettie's coming up later on, I believe. About half past eight, he said. Should I show him what I've bought? There's nothing there for a man to see. I shall have to change my dress, and I'm sure I don't want the fag. Rebecca, just go and look at the things I've bought in the other room. And Becky, fold them up for me, will you, and put them on my bed?
Starting point is 06:23:46 As soon as she'd gone out, Lettie said, She'll enjoy doing it, went your mother? That's so nice. Do you think I need dress, mother. Please yourself, do as you wish. I suppose I should have to. He doesn't like blouses and skirts of an evening, he says. He hates the belt. I'll wear that old cream cashmere. It looks nice now I've put that new lace on it. Don't those violets smell nice? Who got them? Cinerrell brought them in. George said them you, said I. Well, I'll just run up and take my dress off. Why are we troubled
Starting point is 06:24:18 with Ben? It's a trouble you like well enough, said Mother. Oh, do I? Such a bother? And she ran upstairs. The sun was red behind Hightclays. I kneeled in the window-seat and smiled at fate and at people who imagined that strange states are near to the inner realities. The sun went straight down behind the cedar trees, deliberately, and, it seemed as I watched, swiftly lowered itself behind the trees, behind the rim of the hill. Miss Go, I said to myself, and tell him she will not come. yet I fidgeted about the room, loathed to depart.
Starting point is 06:24:56 Lady came down, dressed in white, or cream, cut low round the neck. She looked very delightful and fresh again, but the sparkle of the afternoon's excitement still. I put some of these violets on me, she said, glancing at herself in the mirror, and then, taking the flowers from their water, she dried them and fastened them among her lace. "'Don't Letty and I look nice tonight,' she said smiling, glancing from me to her reflection which was like a light in the dusky room. "'That reminds me,' I said. "'George Saxon wants to see you this evening.'
Starting point is 06:25:31 "'Whatever for?' "'I don't know. They've got notice to leave their farm, and I think he feels a bit sentimental. "'Oh, well, is he coming here?' He said, would you just go a little way in the wood to meet him?' "'Did he? Oh, indeed. But, of course, I can't.
Starting point is 06:25:49 Or not, if you won't. They're his violence you're wearing, by the way. Are they? Let them stay. It makes no difference. But whatever did he want to see me for? I couldn't say, I assure you. She glanced herself in the mirror, and then at the clock. Let's see, she remarked. It's only a quarter to eight, three quarters of an hour. But what can he want for me for? I never knew anything like it.
Starting point is 06:26:14 It's startling, isn't it? I observed. satirically. Yes, she glanced at herself in the mirror. I can't go out like this. All right, you can't then. Besides, it's nearly dark. It will be too dark to see in the wood, won't it? It will directly.
Starting point is 06:26:31 Well, I'll just go to the end of the garden for one moment. Run and fetch that silk shawl out of my wardrobe. Be quick while it's light. I ran and brought to the wrap. She ranted carefully over her head. We went out down the garden path. letty held her skirts carefully gathered from the ground the nightingale began to sing in the twilight we stepped along in silence as far as the rhododendron bushes now in rosy bud i cannot go into the wood she said come to the top of the riding and we went round the dark bushes george was waiting i saw at once he was half distrustful of himself now
Starting point is 06:27:11 letty dropped her skirts and trailed towards him he stood awkwardly awaiting her conscious of the clenishness of his appearance she held out her hand with something of a grand air see she said i have come yes i thought you wouldn't perhaps he looked at her and suddenly gained courage you've been putting white on you-you do look nice they're not like what who else no one no one Nobody else, only I, well, I thought about it different, like some pictures. She smiled with a gentle radiance and asked indulgently, And how was I different? Not all that soft stuff, plainer. But don't I look very nice with all this soft stuff, as you call it? And she shook the silk away from her smiles.
Starting point is 06:28:05 Oh yes, better than those naked lines. You are quaint tonight. What did you want before? to say goodbye. Goodbye. Yes, you're going away, Cyril tells me. I'm very sorry. Fancy horrid strangers at the mill.
Starting point is 06:28:21 But then I should be gone away soon too. We're all going, you see, now we've grown up. She kept hold of my arm. Yes. And where would you go? Canada. You'll settle there and be quite a patriarch, won't you? I don't know.
Starting point is 06:28:37 You're not really sorry to go, are you? No, I'm glad. No, I'm glad. Glad to go away from us all. I suppose so, since I must. Ah, fate, fate, it separates you whether you want it or not. What? Why, you see, you have to leave. I mustn't stay out here. It's greying chilly. How soon are you going?
Starting point is 06:28:59 I don't know. Not soon, then. I don't know. Then I may see you again. I don't know. Oh, yes, I shall. Well, I must go. "'Shall I say good-bye now? That was what you wanted, was it not?' "'To say goodbye?' "'Yes.'
Starting point is 06:29:17 "'No, it wasn't. I wanted to ask you.' "'What?' she cried. "'You don't know, Lettie, now the old life's gone, everything. How I want you, to set out with it. It's like beginning life, and I want you. What could I do? I could only hinder. What help should I be?' "'I should feel as if my mind was made up. as if I could do something clearly. Now it's all hazy, not knowing what to do next. And if, if you had, what then?
Starting point is 06:29:51 If I had you, I could go straight on. Where? Oh, I should take a farm in Canada. Well, wouldn't it be better to get it first and make sure? I have no money. Oh, so you wanted me? I only wanted you. I only wanted you. I would have given you... What?
Starting point is 06:30:14 You'd have me. You'd have all me and everything you wanted. That I paid for, a good bargain. No, oh no, George, I beg your pardon. This is one of my flippant nights. I don't mean it like that. But you know it's impossible. Look, I'm fixed.
Starting point is 06:30:29 It is impossible, isn't it now? I suppose it is. You know it is. Look at me now, and say if it's not impossible, a farmer's wife with you in Canada. Yes, I didn't expect you'd like that. Yes, I see it is impossible. But I've thought about it and felt as if I must have you.
Starting point is 06:30:50 Should have you. Yes, it doesn't do to go on dreaming. I think it's the first time, and it'll be the last. Yes, it is impossible. Now I have made up my mind. And what would you do? I shall not go to Canada. You must not.
Starting point is 06:31:07 You must not do anything rash. No, I should get married. "'You will?' "'Oh, I am glad. I thought you—you were too fond, but you're not. "'Of yourself, I mean. I'm so glad. Yes, do, Mary.' "'Well, I shall, since you are—' "'Yes,' said Lettie, it is best, but I thought that you—' "'She smiled at him in sad reproach.
Starting point is 06:31:31 "'Did you think so?' he replied, smiling gravely. "'Yes,' she whispered. "'I stood, looking at each other. He made an impulsive movement towards her. She, however, drew back slightly, checking him. Well, I shall see you again sometime, so goodbye, he said, putting out his hand. We heard a foot crunching on the gravel. Leslie halted at the top of the riding.
Starting point is 06:31:59 Letty, hearing him, relaxed into a kind of feline graciousness, and said to George, I'm so sorry you were going to leave, it breaks the old life up. You said I would see you again. He left her hand in his a moment or two. Yes, George replied. Good night. And he turned away.
Starting point is 06:32:19 She stood for a moment in the same drooping, graceful attitude, watching him. Then she turned round slowly. She seemed hardly to notice Leslie. Who was that you were talking to? he asked. He's gone now, she replied, irrelevantly, as if even then she seemed hardly to realise it. here's to upset you he's going who is it he oh why it's george saxon oh him yes what did he want huh what did he want oh nothing i'll be a tristing in the interim eh he said this laughing generously passing off his annoyance in a jest i feel so sorry she said what for oh then let us talk about him talk about something else
Starting point is 06:33:09 I can't bear to talk about him. All right, he replied, and after an awkward little pause. What sort of a time had you in Nottingham? Oh, a fine time. He'll enjoy yourself on the shops between now and July. Sometime I'll go with you and see them. Very well. That sounds if you don't want me to go.
Starting point is 06:33:31 Am I already in the way on a shopping expedition, like an old husband? I should think you would be. That's nice of you. Why? oh i don't know yes you do oh i suppose you'd hang about i'm much too well brought up rebecca has lighted the hall-lamp yes it's grown quite dark i was here early you never gave me a good word for it i didn't notice there's a light in the dining-room we'll go there they went into the dining-room she stood by the piano and carefully took off the wrap then she wandered listlessly about the room for a minute aren't you coming to sit down he said pointed to the seat on the couch beside him not just now she said training amosly to the piano she sat down and began to play at random a memory then she did that most irritating thing played a coupernance to songs with snatches of the air where the voice should have predominated i say letty he interrupted after a time yes she replied continuing to play it's not very interesting
Starting point is 06:34:39 "'No,' she continued to play. "'Nor very amusing.' He did not answer. He bore it for a little time longer, then he said, "'How much longer is he going to last, Lettie? What? That sort of business. "'A piano. I'll stop playing if you don't like it.'
Starting point is 06:34:57 She did not, however, cease. "'Yes, I've all this dry business.' "'I don't understand. Don't you? You make me.' Then she went on. away at, if I built a world for you, my dear. I say, stop it, do, he cried. She tinkled to the end of the verse, and very slowly closed the piano. Come on, come and sit down, he said. No, I don't want to. I'd rather have gone on playing. Go on with your damn playing then,
Starting point is 06:35:29 and I'll go where there's more interest. You ought to like it. He did not answer, so she turned slowly around on the stool, opened the piano, and laid her first. fingers on the keys. At the sound of the court he started up saying, that I'm going. Very early, why? she said through the calm jingle of my ruysin. He stood biting his lips. Then he made one more appeal. Letty. Yes? Are you going to leave off and be amiable? Amiable? You're a jolly torment. What upset you now? No, it's not I who I'm upset. I'd like to hear it. What do you call yourself?
Starting point is 06:36:10 Aye, nothing. Well, I'm going, then. Must you? So early tonight? He did not go, and she played more and more softly, languidly, aimlessly. Once she lifted her head to speak, but did not say anything. Look here, he ejaculated all at once, so that she started and jarred the piano. What do you mean by it? She jingled leisurely a few seconds before answering, then she replied,
Starting point is 06:36:39 what a worry you are i suppose you want me out of the way while you sentimentalise over that nilkman you needn bother you can do it while i'm here or i'll go and leave you in peace i'll go and call him back for you if you like that's what you want he turned on the piano stool slowly and looked at him smiling faintly it's very good of you she said tensed his fists and wrinned with rage you tantalizing little he began lifting his fists expressively. She smiled, then he swung round, knocked several hats flying off the stand in the hall, slammed the door, and was gone. Lately continued to play for some time, after which she went up to her own room. Leslie did not return to us the next day, nor the day after. The first day, Marie came and told us he had gone away to Yorkshire to see about the new mines that were being sunk there, and was likely to be absent for a week or so. These business visits to the north were rather frequent. The firm of which Mr Tempice was director and chief
Starting point is 06:37:44 a shareholder were opening important new mines in the other county as the seams at home were becoming exhausted or unprofitable. It was proposed that Lesley should live in Yorkshire when he was married to superintend the new workings. He at first rejected the idea but he seemed later to approve of it more. During the time he was away that he was moody and cross-tempered. She did not Not mentioned George nor the mill, indeed she preserved her best, most haughty and ladylike manner. On the evening of the fourth day of Lise's absence, we were out in the garden. The trees were uttering joyous leaves. My mother was in the midst of her garden lifting the dusky faces of auriculars to look at the
Starting point is 06:38:30 velvet lips, or tenderly taking a young weed from the black soil. The thrushes were calling and clamouring all round. The Jeponika flamed on the wall as the light grew thicker. The tassels of white cherry blossoms swung gently in the breeze. "'What shall I do, Mother?' said Lettie, as she wandered across the grass to pick at the Joponika flowers. "'What shall I do? There's nothing to do.'
Starting point is 06:38:57 "'Well, my girl, what do you want to do? You'd be mopey about all day. Go and see somebody.' "'Such a long way to Iberwich. Is it, then go somewhere nearer?' Nettie fretted about with restless, petulant indecision. "'I don't know what to do,' she said, "'and I feel as I might just as well never have lived at all as waste days like this.
Starting point is 06:39:21 "'I wish we weren't buried in this dead little hole. "'I wish we're near the town. "'It's hateful having to depend on about two or three folk for your pleasure in life.' "'I can't help it, my dear. "'You must do something for yourself. "'What can I do? I can do nothing.' "'And I go to bed.' that i won't with the dead weight of a wasted day on me i feel as if i do something desperate very well then said mother do it and have done oh it's no good talking to you i don't want
Starting point is 06:39:53 turned away went to the loristinus and began pulling off it the long red berries i expected she would fret the evening wastefully away i noticed all at once that she stood still there was the noise of a motor-car running rapidly down the hill towards nethermere a light quick-clicking sound. I listened also. I could feel the swinging drop of the car as it came down the leaps of the hill. We could see the dust trail up among the trees. Lettie raised her head and listened expectantly. The car rushed along the edge of Nethermere.
Starting point is 06:40:27 Then there was a jar of brakes as the machine slowed down and stopped. In a moment with a quick flutter of sound it was passing the lodge gates and whirling up the drive through the wood to us. Lettie stood with flushed cheeks and brightened eyes. She went towards the bushes that shut off the lawn from the gravel space in front of the house, watching. A car came racing through the trees.
Starting point is 06:40:50 It was the small car Leslie used on the firm's business. Now it was white with dust. Leslie suddenly put on the brakes and tore to a standstill in front of the house. He stepped to the ground. There he staggered a little big giddy and cramped with the long drive. His motor jacket and cap were thursday. thick with dust. Lettie called to him, Leslie, flew down to him. He took her into his arms and clouds of dust rose round her. He kissed her, and they stood perfectly still for a moment. She looked up into his face,
Starting point is 06:41:25 then she disengaged her arms to take off his disfiguring motor spectacles. After she had looked at him a moment tenderly, she kissed him again. He loosened his hold of her, and she said in a voice full tenderness. You're trembling, dear. It's the ride I've never stopped. But further words, she took him into the house. How pale you are. See, lie on the couch, never mind the dust. All right, I'll find you a coat of cyrils. Oh, mother, he's come all those miles in the car without stopping. Make him lie down. He ran and brought him a jacket, and put the cushions round and made him lie on the couch. Then she took off his boots and put slippers on his feet. He lay watching her all the time.
Starting point is 06:42:09 He was white with fatigue and excitement. I wonder if I should be had up for scorching. I can feel the road coming at me yet, he said. Why be you so headlong? I felt as if I should go wild if I didn't come, if I didn't rush. I didn't know how you might have taken me letty when I said what I did. She smiled gently at him and he lay resting, recovering, looking at her. It's a wonder I haven't done something desperate.
Starting point is 06:42:38 I've been half mad since I said. Oh, Letty, I was a damn fool and a wretch. I could have torn myself in two. I've done nothing but curse and rage at myself ever since. I feel as if I'd just come out of hell. You don't know how thankful I am, Lettie, that you've not turned against me for what I said. She went to him and sat down by him, smoothing his hair from his forehead, kissing him. Her attitude tender, suggesting tears.
Starting point is 06:43:05 Her movement's impulsive, as if with a son. self-reproach she would not acknowledge but which she must silence with lavish tenderness. He drew her to him, and they remained quiet for some time, till it grew dark. The noise of my mother stirring in the next room disturbed them, as he rose, and he also got up from the couch. "'I suppose,' he said, I shall have to go home and get bathed and dressed, though,' he added in tones, which made it clear he did not want to go. "'I shall have to get back in the morning.
Starting point is 06:43:38 I don't know what they'll say. At any rate, she said, you could wash here. But I must get out of these clothes, and I want a bath. You could. You might have some of Cyril's clothes, and the water's hot, I know. At all events, you can stay to supper. If I'm going, I shall have to go soon, or they'd not like it if I'd go in late. They'd have no idea I've come.
Starting point is 06:44:02 They don't expect it till next Monday or Tuesday. Perhaps you could stay here, and they needn't know. they looked at each other with wide smiling eyes like children on the brink of a stolen pleasure oh but what would your mother think no i'll go she won't mind a bit oh but i'll ask her he wanted to stay far more than she wished it so it was she who put down his opposition and triumphed my mother lifted her eyebrows and said very quietly he'd better go home and be straight But look how he'd feel. He'd have to tell them. And how would he feel? It's really my fault in the end. Don't be pigling and mean and grundish, Matruchka. It is neither meanness nor grundishness. Oh, he grun, he grun, exclaimed Letti, ironically.
Starting point is 06:44:57 He may certainly say if he likes, said Mother, slightly nettled at Lettie's jive. All right, what a genn, and be a sweetling, do? Letty went out a little impatient at my mother's unwillingness, but Leslie stayed nevertheless. In a few moments Lettie was up in the spare bedroom, arranging and adorning, and Rebecca was running with hot water bottles and hurrying down with clean bedclothes. Lettie hastily appropriated my best brushes, which she had given me, and took the suit of pyjamas of the thinnest, finest flannel, and discovered a new toothbrush, and made selections from my shirts and handkerchiefs and underclothes. and directed me which suit to lend him. Altogether I was astonished and, perhaps a trifle, annoyed, at her extraordinarily thoughtfulness and solicitude.
Starting point is 06:45:47 He came down to supper, bathed, brushed, and radiant. He had heartily and seemed to emanate a warmth of physical comfort and pleasure. The colour was flushed again into his face, and he carried his body with the old, independent, assertive air. I've never known the time when he looked handsomer, when he was more attractive there was a certain warmth about him a certain glow that enhanced his words his laughter his movements he was the predominant person and we felt a pleasure in his mere proximity my mother however could not quite get rid of her stiffness and soon after supper she rose saying she would finish her letter in the next room bidding him good-night as she would probably not see him again the cloud of this little coolness was a cloud of this little coolness was the thinnest and most transitory. He talked and laughed more gaily than ever, and was ostentatious
Starting point is 06:46:41 in his movements, throwing back his head, taking little attitude which displayed the broad firmness of his breast, the grace of his well-trained physique. I left them at the piano. He was sitting, pretending to play, and looking up all the while at her, who stood with her hand on his shoulder. In the morning he was up early, by six o'clock downstairs and attending to the car. When I got down I find it very busy and very quiet. I know I'm a beastly nuisance, he said, but I must get off early. Rebecca came and prepared breakfast, which we two ate alone. He was remarkably dull and wordless.
Starting point is 06:47:23 It's a wonder Lettie hasn't gone up to have breakfast with you. She's such a one for raving about the perfection of the early morning, its purity and promises and so forth, I said. He broke his bread. nervously and drank some coffee as if he were agitated, making noises in his throat as he swallowed. "'It's too early for her, I should think,' he replied, wiping his moustache hurriedly, yet he seemed to listen for her. Then his bedroom was over the study, where Rebecca had laid breakfast, and he listened now and again, holding his knife and fork suspended in their action.
Starting point is 06:47:58 Then he went on with his meal again. When he was laying down his serviette, the door opened. he pulled himself together and turned round sharply it was mother when she spoke to him his face twitched with a little frown half of relief half of disappointment i must be going now he said thank you very much mother you are a harems scarum boy i wonder why le doesn't come down i know she's up yes he replied yes i've heard her perhaps she's dressing her i must get off i'll call her no don't bother heard she'd come if she wanted. The mother had called from the foot of the stairs. Letty, Lettie, letty, he's going. All right, said Lettie, and in another minute she came downstairs. She was dressed in dark, severe stuff, and she was somewhat pale. She did not look at any of us, but turned her eyes aside. Goodbye, she said to him, offering her her cheek.
Starting point is 06:49:00 Hissed her, murmuring. Goodbye, my love. he stood in the doorway a moment looking at her with beseeching eyes she kept her face half averted and would not look at him but stood pale and cold biting her under lip he turned sharply away with a motion of keen disappointment set the engines of the car into action mounted and drove quickly away letty stood pale and inscrutable for some moments then she went into breakfast and sat toying with her food keeping her head bent down her face hidden in less than an hour he was back again saying he had left something behind he ran upstairs and then hesitating went into the room where letty was still sitting at table i had to come back he said she lifted her face towards him but kept her eyes averted looking out of the window she was flush what had you forgotten she asked i left my cigarette case he replied it was an awkward silence but i shall have to be getting off he added yes i suppose you will she replied after another pause he asked won't you just walk down the path with me she rose without answering he took a shawl and put it round her carefully she merely allowed him they walked in silence down the garden you are you are you angry with me he faltered tears suddenly came to her eyes "'What did you come back for?' she said, averting her face from him.
Starting point is 06:50:39 He looked at her. "'I knew you were angry, and—' he hesitated. "'Why didn't you go away?' she said impassively. He hung his head and was silent. "'I don't see why—' "'Why'd you make trouble between us, Lettie?' he faltered. She made a swift gesture of repulsion, whereupon catching sight of her hand, she hid it swiftly against her skirt again.
Starting point is 06:51:04 "'You make my hands my very hands disclaimed me,' she struggled to say. He looked at her clenched fist, pressed against the folds of her dress. But he began, much troubled. "'I tell you, I can't bear the sight of my own hands,' she said in low, passionate tones. "'But surely, Lettie, there's no need, if you love me.' She seemed to wince. He waited a puzzle than that. miserable.
Starting point is 06:51:36 And we're going to be married, aren't we? He resumed, looking pleadingly at her. She stirred and exclaimed, Oh, why don't you go away? What did you come back for? You'll kiss me before I go, he asked. She stood with averted face and did not reply. His forehead was twitching in a puzzled frown. Lettie, he said.
Starting point is 06:52:01 She did not move or answer, but remember remained with her face turned full away, so that he could see only the contour of her cheek. After waiting a while, he flushed, turned swiftly, and set his machine rattling. In a moment he was racing between the trees. End of Part 2, Chapter 3. Part 2, Chapter 4 of The White Peacock by D.H. Lawrence. This Lipivock's recording is in the public domain, and according by Simon Evers. Part 2. Chapter 4. Kiss when she's ripe for tears. It was the Sunday after Leslie's visit.
Starting point is 06:52:55 We'd had a wretched week with everybody mute and unhappy. Though spring had come, none of us saw it. Afterwards, it occurred to me that I had seen all the ranks of poplars suddenly burst into a dark crimson glow, with a flutter of blood red where the sun came through the leaves, that I had found high cradles where the swan's eggs slid. by the water-side, that I had seen the daffodils leaning from the moss-grown wooden walls of the boat-house, and all moss, daffodils, water, scattered with the pink scarves from the elm-buds, that I had broken the half-spread fans of the sycamore, and had watched the white clouds of slow blossom go silver-gray against the evening sky. But I have not perceived it, and I had not any vivid spring pictures left from the neglected week. It was Sunday evening, just after tea, when Lettie suddenly said to me, Come with me down to Strelia Mill. I was astonished, but I obeyed
Starting point is 06:53:56 unquestioningly. On the threshold we heard a chattering of girls, and immediately Alice's voice greeted us. Hello, Sybil love, hello Lettie, come on, here's a gathering of the goddesses. Come on, you just make us right. You're Juno, and here's Meg, she's Venus, and I'm here, somebody who am i tell us quick did you say minerva sybil dear when you walk then now paris hurry up he's putting his sunday clothes on to take us a walk lords what a time it takes him get your blushes ready meg now letty look haughty and i'll look wise i wonder if he wants me to go and tie his tie oh glory where on earth did you get that anti macassar in nottingham don't you like it said george referring to his tie hello letty have you come yes it's a gai gathering of the goddesses. Have you that apple? If so, hand it over, said Alice. What apple? Oh, dumb, his education. Paris is apple. Can't you see we've come to be chosen? Oh, well, I haven't got any apple. I've eaten mine. Isn't he flat? He's like boiling
Starting point is 06:55:02 magnesium that's done boiling for a week. Are you going to take us all to church, then? If you like. Come on, then. Where's the abode of love? Look at Lettie, look. Look at Letty, look. looking shocked. Awfully sorry, old girl, thought Love agreed with you. Did you say love? inquired George. Yes, I did, didn't I, Meg, and you say love as well, don't you? I don't know what it is, laughed Meg, who was very red and rather bewildered. Amor S. Titilatio. Love is a tickling. There, that's it, isn't it, Sybil?
Starting point is 06:55:36 How should I know? Of course not, Othello. Leave it to the girls. See how knowing Lettie looks. "'It's laws, Letty, you are solemn.' "'It's love,' suggested George over his new necktie. "'I'll bet it is de gustase sat est, ain't it, Lettie? "'One links enough, and damned be he the first cries, hold enough. "'Which one do you like?
Starting point is 06:55:58 "'But are you going to take us to the church, Georgie, darling? "'One by one, or all at once?' "'What do you want me to do, Meg?' he asked. "'Oh, I don't mind. "'And do you mind, Lettie? I'm not going to church. Let's go walk somewhere and let us start now, said Emily somewhat testily.
Starting point is 06:56:19 She did not like this nonsense. There you are, Sib, you've got your orders. Don't leave me behind, whirled Alice. Emily frowned and bit her finger. Come on, Georgie, you look like the finger of a pair of scales between two weights, which'll draw? The heavier, he replied, smiling, and looking neither at Meg or Letty.
Starting point is 06:56:41 then it's meg cried alice oh i wish i was fleshy i've no chance with sib against pem emily flashed looks of rage meg blushed and felt ashamed letty began to recover from her first outraged indignation and smiled thus we went a walk in two trios unfortunately as the evening was so fine the roads were full of strollers groups of three or four men dressed in pale trousers and shiny black cloth coats following their suspicious little dogs gangs of youth slouching along occupied with nothing often silent talking now and then in raucous tones on some subject of brief interest then the gallant husbands in their tail-coats very husbandly pushing a jingling perambulator admonished by a much-dressed spouse round whom the small members of the family gyrated occasionally two lovers walking with a space between them disowning each other occasionally a smartly dressed mother with two little girls in white silk frocks and much expanse of yellow hair stepping mincingly and nearby a father awkwardly controlling his sunday suit to endure all this it was necessary to chatter unconcernedly george had to keep up the conversation behind and he seemed to do it with ease discoursing on the lambs discussing the breed when meg exclaimed how aren't they black they might have crept down the chimney i never saw any like them before he described how he had reared two on the bottle exciting makes keen aberration by his mothering of the lambs then he went on to the pee-wits harping on the same string how they would cry and pretend to be wounded just fancy though and how he had moved the eggs of one pair while he was ploughing and the mother had followed them and had even sat watching as he near again with the plough watching him come and go
Starting point is 06:58:38 well she knew you but they do know those who are kind to them yes he agreed her little bright eyes seemed to speak as you go by oh i do think they're nice little things don't you letty cried meg in excess of tenderness letty did with brevity we walked over the hills and down into greymead meg thought she ought to go home to her grandmother and george bade her go saying he would call and see her in an hour or so The dear girl was disappointed, but she went, unmurouring. We left Alice with a friend and hurried home through Seltsby to escape the after-church parade. As you walk home past Seltsby, the pit stands up against the west, with beautiful tapering chimneys marked in black against the swim of sunset, and the headstocks etched with tall significance on the brightness. Then the houses a squat in rows of shadow at the foot of these high monuments.
Starting point is 06:59:36 "'You know, Cyril,' said Emily. "'I have meant to go and see Mrs. Annabel, the keeper's wife. "'She's moved into Boncarts Row, and the children come to school. "'Oh, it's awful. They've never been to school, and they are unspeakable.' "'What's she gone there for?' I asked. "'I suppose the squire wanted the kennels, and she chose it herself. "'But the way they live, it's fearful to think of.' "'And why haven't you been?'
Starting point is 07:00:02 "'I don't know. I've meant to, but—' emily stumbled you didn't want and you dared perhaps not would you hush let's go now there you hang back no i don't she replied sharply come on then we'll go through the twitchell let me tell letty letty at once declared no with some asperity all right said george i'll take you home but this suited letty is still less i don't know what you want to go for sirrell she said and sunday night and everybody everywhere i want to go home well you go then emily will come with you ha cried the latter you think i won't go to see her i shrugged my shoulders and george pulled his moustache well i don't care declared letty and we marched down the twitche indian we came near to the ugly rows of houses that back up against the pitt hill everywhere is black and sooty the houses are back to back having only one entrance, which is from a square garden where black-specilled weeds grow sulkily, and which looks onto a row of evil little ash-pit huts. The road everywhere is trodden over with a crust of soot and coal-dust and cinders. Between the rows, however, was a crowd of women and children
Starting point is 07:01:23 bare heads, bare arms, white aprons, and black sundy frocks bristling with gimp. One or two men squatted on their heels with their backs against a wall, laughing. The women were waving their arms and screaming up at the roof at the end house. Emily and Lettie drew back. Look there, it's that little beggar Sam, said George. There, sure enough, perched on the ridge of the roof against the M chimney, was the young imp, coatless, his shirt sleeves torn away from the cuffs. I knew his bright reddish young head in a moment. He got up, his bare toes clinging to the tiles and spread out his fingers fan-wise from his nose, shouting something, which immediately caused the crowd to toss with ignitination and the women to shriek again.
Starting point is 07:02:09 Sam sat down suddenly, having almost lost his balance. The village constable hurried up, his thin neck stretching out of his tunic, and demanded the cause of the hubbub. Immediately a woman with bright brown squinting eyes and a birthmark on her cheek rushed forward and seized the policeman by the sleeve. Take him up, take him up and birch him till his bloody bucks roar, she screamed. The thing policeman shook her off and wanted to know what was the matter. I'll smush him like a rotten dater, cried the woman, if I can lay hands on him. He's not fit to live nowhere where there's deist and folks, the thieving, brazen little devil.
Starting point is 07:02:47 As she went on. But what's up? interrupted the thin constable. What's up with him? Up, it's him as it up, and let him wait till I get him done. That's crafty little. Sam, seeing her look at him, distorted his honest features and overheated her wrath till Lettie and Emily trembled with dismay. The mother's head appeared at the bedroom window.
Starting point is 07:03:10 She slid the sash back and craned out, vainly trying to look over the gutter below the slates. She was even more disheveled than usual, and the tears had dried on her pale face. She stretched further out, clinging to the window-frame and to the gutter overhead, till I was afraid she would come down with a crash. The men, squatting on their heels against the wall of the ash-pit, laughed, saying, "'Lab him, bowl, can't I see him? Clork him.' And then the pit of a voice of the woman was heard crying, "'Come thy ways down, Midducky, come on, only come to my mother.
Starting point is 07:03:42 "'Now, shunna touch thee. Do thy mother's bidding now. Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam! "'A voice rose higher and higher. "'Sammy, Sammy, go to thy mammy,' jeered the wits below. "'Shon'er to come, shon'er to come to thy mother, midducky. "'Come on, come thy way adon.' San looked at the crowd and at the eaves from under which rose his mother's voice. He was going to cry. A big gaunt woman with the family steel comb stuck in her back hair shouted,
Starting point is 07:04:13 Thamun well bent thy face, thou needs to screate. And ended by the woman with the birthmark and the squint, she reviled him. A little scoundrel in a burst of defiance picked a piece of mortar from between the slates, and in a second it flew into fragments against the family steel comb. The wearer thereof declared her head was laid open, and there was general confusion. The policeman, I don't know how thin he must have been when he was taken out of his uniform, lost his head, and he too began branching his fists, spitting from under his sweep's brush moustache as he commanded in tones of authority.
Starting point is 07:04:47 Now then, no more on it. Let's have thee down here, and no more messing about. The boy tried to creep over the ridge of the roof and escape down the other side. immediately the brats rush round yelling to the other side of the row and pieces of red-burnt gravel began to fly over the roof sam crouched against the chimney got him yelled one little devil got him ay go again shah of stones came down scattering the women and the policeman the mother rushed from the house and made a wild onslaught on the throes she caught one and flung him down immediately the rest turned and aimed their missiles at her then george and the policeman and i down after the young wretches and the women ran to see what happened to their offspring we caught two lads of fourteen or so and made the policeman haul them after us the rest fled when we returned to the field of battle sam had gone too if he hasn't slived off cried the woman with a squint but i'll see him locked up for this this moment a band of missioners from one of the chapels or churches arrived at the end of the row and the little harmonium began to bray and the place vibrated with the sound of a woman's powerful voice propped round by several other singing and even ere the sun was set everybody hurried towards a new noise save the policeman with his captives the woman with the squint and the woman with the family comb i told of the limb of the law he better get rid of the two boys and find out what mischief the others were after then i inquired of the woman with the squint what was the matter
Starting point is 07:06:23 thirty-seven young'uns and we had from that door and there's no knowing how many more if they hadn't a gon and atena she replied lapsing now her fury was spent into solemn resentment and never a word should we are known added the family combrera but for that blessed catavorn has scratched up indeed said i the rabbit no there were now left but the skin they'd seen to that a thieving dirt-eating lot when was that said i this mortal nine, and there was the head and the back of the dirty stew-pot. I can show you this instant. I've got him in our pantry for a roof, haven't I, Martha? That lot of good it is, but I'll rip the neck out of him before I lay hands on him. At last, I made out that Samuel had stolen a large, lop-eared dough out of a bunch of the coal-house of the squint-eyed lady, had skinned it, buried the skin, and offered his booty to his mother as a wild rabbit trapped. The dough had been the chief item of the animal's Sunday dinner, albeit a portion was unluckily
Starting point is 07:07:25 saved till Monday, providing undeniable proof of the theft. The owner of the rabbit had supposed the creature to have escaped. This peaceful supposition had been destroyed by the comb-bearers seeing her cat scratching in the animal's garden, unearthed the white and brown do-skin, after which the trouble had begun. The squint-eyed woman was not so hard to manage. I talked to her, as if she were some male friend of mine, only appealing to her womanliness with all the soft sadness I could press into the tones of my voice. In the end, she was mollified, I lived in tender and motherly in her feelings towards the unfortunate family. I left on her dresser the half-crown I shrank from offering her, and, having reduced the comb-wara also, I marched off, carrying the stew-pot and the fragments of the ill-fated dough to the cottage of the widow, where George and the girls awaited me.
Starting point is 07:08:19 the house was in a woeful state in the rocking-chair beside the high guard that surrounded the half sat the mother rocking looking sadly shaken now her excitement was over letty was nursing the little baby and emily the next child george was smoking his pipe and trying to look natural the little kitchen was crowded there was no room there was not even a place on the table for the stew-jar so i gathered together cups and mugs containing tea-tops and set down the vessel of ignominy on the much-slopped tea-cloth. The four little children were striped and patched with tears. Had my entrance one under the table recommenced to weep, so I gave him my pencil which pushed in and out, but which pushes in and out no more. The sight of the stupot affected the mother afresh. She wept again, crying, and I never thought as though it were all but a snared-un, as if I should set him on to thief their old door. If it wasn't all, I'm a thief, and me call all the names they could lay their tombs to, and then in my bit of a pantry taking the very pots out.
Starting point is 07:09:25 That stew-bottas I brought all the way from Nottingham, and I've had it afore many were born. The baby, the little baby, then began to cry. The mother got up suddenly and took it. Oh, come then, my pet. Why? Why, cause the shana? No, the shana. Here's he's his mother's least little lad, he is, a little un. Pushed then there, there. There. What's a-oh, then? There. What's a-o'-oh. matter, me little. She hushed the baby and herself. At length she asked, "'Has the policeman gone as well?' "'Yes, it's all right,' I said. She sighed deeply, and her look of weariness was painful to see. "'How old is your eldest?' I asked. "'Funny? She's fourteen. She's out at service at
Starting point is 07:10:08 Webster's. Then Jim has his thirteen next month. Let's see. Yes, it is next month. He's gone to flints, farming. They can't do much, and I shan't let them go into the pit if I can help it. My husband always used to say they should never go in the pit. They can't do much for you. They do them what they can, but it's a hard job it is to keep them all going. The wishing and the parish pay and five shilling from the squad, it's hard. It was different when my husband was alive. It ought to have been me as if I could have died. I don't seem as if I can manage them. They get beyond me. I wish I was dead this minute to Nimmie. I can't understand it.
Starting point is 07:10:47 It was worth so capable to be took, and me left. He were a man and a thousand, he were, full of management like a gentleman. I wish it was me as I'd been took. And he's restless, because he knows I find it hard. I stood at the door till last night when they were all asleep, looking out over the pit pond, and I saw a light, and I know it was him, because it were our wedding day yesterday, by the day and the date. and i said to him frank is it thee frank i'm all right i'm getting on all right and then he went seemed to go o'er the whimsy and back towards the wood i know it were him and he could not rest thinking i couldn't manage
Starting point is 07:11:30 after a while we left promising to go again and to see after the safety of sam it was quite dark and the lamps were lighted in the houses we could hear the throb of the fan-house engines and the soft whir of the fan isn't it cruel said emily plaintively wasn't the man a wretch to marry the woman like that i did letty with decision speak of lady christabel said i and then there was silence i suppose he did not know what he was doing any more than the rest of us i thought you were going to your aunt's to the ram inn said letty to george when they came to the cross-roads not now it's too late he answered quietly you will come round our way went you? Yes, she said. We were eating bread and milk at the farm, and the father was talking with vague sadness and reminiscence, lingering over the thoughts of their departure from the old house. He was a pure romanticist, forever seeking the colour of the past and the presence monotony. He seemed settling down to an easy, contented middle age when the unrest on the farm and development of his children quickened him with fresh activity. He read books on the land question and
Starting point is 07:12:44 modern novels. In the end, he became an advanced radical, almost a socialist. Occasionally his letters appeared in the newspapers. He had taken a new hold on life. Over supper he became enthusiastic about Canada, and to watch him, his brady face lighted up, his burly form straight and nerved with excitement, was to admire him. To hear him, his words of thoughtful common sense, all warm with the young man's hopes, was to love him. At forty-sixthewish, he was to love him. At forty-sixthewish, he was more spontaneous and enthusiastic than George, and far more happy and hopeful. Emily would not agree to go away with them. What should she do in Canada, she said, and she did not want the little ones to be drudges on a farm, in the end to be nothing but cattle.
Starting point is 07:13:33 Nay, said her father gently, Molly shall learn the daring, and David would just be right to take to the place when I give up. It'll perhaps be a bit rough and hard at first, but when we've got over it, we've got over it, we've. we shall think it was one of the best times, like you do." "'And you, George?' asked Etie. "'I'm not going. What should I go for? There's nothing at the end of it, only a long life. It's like a day here in June, a long work-day, pleasant enough, and when it's done you sleep well, but it's work and sleep and comfort half a life. It's not enough. What's the odds? I might as well be Flower, the Mayor.'
Starting point is 07:14:14 His father looked at him gravely and thoughtfully. "'Now it seems to me so different,' he said sadly. "'It seems to me you can live your own life and be independent and think as you like without being choked with harassment. "'I feel as if I could keep on like that.' "'I'm going to get more out of my life, I hope,' laughed George. "'No. "'Do you know—'
Starting point is 07:14:38 "'And here he's turned straight to Lettie. "'Do you know, I'm going to get pretty rich so that I can do what I want for a bit. I want to see what it's like to taste all sides, to taste the towns. I want to know what I've got in me. I'll get rich, or at least I'll have a good try. And pray, how will you manage it? asked Emily. I'll begin by marrying, and then you'll see. Emily laughed with scorn. Let us see you begin. Ah, you are not wise, said the father sadly. Then, laughing, he said to Lettie in, coaxing. confidential tones. But he'll come out there to me in a year or two.
Starting point is 07:15:18 You see if he doesn't. I wish I could come now, said I. If you would, said George, I go with you. But not by myself to become a fat, stupid fool like my own cattle. On he was speaking, Jip burst into a rage of barking. The father got up to see what it was, and George followed. Trip, the great bull-terrier, rushed out of the house shaking the buildings with his roars. We saw the white dog flashed down the yard, we heard a rattle from the henhouse ladder,
Starting point is 07:15:49 and in a moment a scream from the orchard side. We rushed forward, and there on the sharp bankside lay a little figure face down, and tripped standing over it looking rather puzzled. I picked up the child. It was Sam. He struggled as soon as he felt my hands, but I bore him off into the house. He wriggled like a wild hair and kicked, but at last he was still. I set him on the hearthrug to examine him. he was a quaint little figure dressed in a man's trousers that had been botched small for him and a coat hanging in rags did he get hold of you asked the father where was it he got hold of you
Starting point is 07:16:27 the child stood unanswering his little pale lips pinched together his eyes staring out of nothing emily went on her knees before him and put her face close to his saying with a voice that made one shrink from its unbridled emotion of caress did he hurt you eh tell us where he hurt you she would have put her arms round him but he shrank away look here said letty it's here and it's bleeding go and get some water emily and some rags come on san let me look and i'll put some rags round it come along she took the child and stripped him of his grotesque garments tripp had given him a sharp grab on the fire before he had realized that he was dealing with the little boy it was not much however and letty soon had it bathed and anointed with elder-flower ointment. On the boy's body were several scars and bruises. Evidently he had rough times. Lettie tended to him and dressed him again. He endured these attentions like a trapped wild rabbit, never looking at us, never opening his lips, only shrinking slightly. When Lettie put on him his little torn shirt and had gathered the great britches about him, Emily went to him to coax him and make him at home.
Starting point is 07:17:43 She kissed him and talked to him with her full vibration of emotional caress. It seemed almost to suffocate him. Then she tried to feed him with bread and milk from a spoon, but he would not open his mouth and he turned his head away. Leave him alone, take no notice of him, said Lettie, lifting him into the chimney seat with a basin of bread and milk beside him. Emily fetched the two kittens out of their basket and put them two beside him. I wonder how many eggs he's got, said the father, laughing softly.
Starting point is 07:18:17 Hush, said Lettie. When do you think you will go to Canada, Mr. Saxon? Next spring, it's no good going before. And then you'll marry, asked Lettie of George. Oh, before then, oh, before then, he said. Why? How is it you are suddenly in such a hurry? when will it be when are you marry he asked in reply i don't know she said coming to a full stop and i don't know he said taking a large wedge of cheese and biting a piece from it it was fixed for june she said recovering herself at his suggestion of hope you lie said emily father said he holding the piece of cheese up before him as he spoke he was evidently nervous would you advise me to marry me
Starting point is 07:19:04 His father started and said, Why, what's you thinking of doing? Yes, all things considered. Well, if she suits you. We are cousins. If you want her, I suppose you won't let that hinder you. She'll have a nice bit of money, and if you like her. I like her all right.
Starting point is 07:19:24 I shan't go out to Canada with her, though. I shall stay at the ram, for the sake of the life. It's a poor life that, said the father, ruminating. george laughed a bit mucky he said but it'll do it would need sir or letty to keep me alive in canada it was a bold stroke everybody was embarrassed well said the father i suppose we can't have everything we want we generally have to put up with the next best thing don't we letty he laughed letty flushed furiously i don't know she said you can generally get what you want if you want it badly enough of course if you don't mind?" He rose and went across to Sam. He was playing with the kittens. One was patting and cuffing his bare toe which had poked through his stocking. He pushed and teased the little scamp with his toe till it rushed at him, clinging, tickling, biting, till he gave little bubbles of laughter,
Starting point is 07:20:23 quite forgetful of us. Then the kitten was tired and ran off. Lettie shook her skirts, and directly the two playful mites rushed upon it, darting round her, rolling head over heels and swinging from the soft cloth suddenly becoming aware that they felt tired the young things trotted away and cuddled together by the fender where in an instant they were asleep almost as suddenly sam sank into drowsiness he better go to bed said the father put him in my bed said george david would wonder what had happened will you go to bed sam asked emily holding out her arms to him and immediately startling him by the terrible gentleness of her persuasion. He retreated behind Lettie. Come along, said the latter, and she quickly took him and undressed him. Then she picked him up, and his bare legs hung down in front of her.
Starting point is 07:21:18 His head drooped drowsily onto her shoulder against her neck. She put down her face to touch the loose riot of his ruddy hair. She stood so, quiet, still and wistful, for a few moments. Perhaps she was vaguely aware that the attitude was beautiful for her, and irresistibly appealing to george who loved above all in her her delicate dignity of tenderness emily waited with the lighted candle for her some moments when she came down there was a softness about her now said i to myself if george asks her again he is wise he is asleep she said quietly i'm thinking he might as well let him stop while we're here should we george said his father eh we'll keep him here while we are here oh the lad i should yes he'd be better here than up leonder ah yes ever so much it is good of you said letty oh he'll make no difference said the father not a bit added george what about his mother asked letty i'll call and tell her in the morning said george
Starting point is 07:22:29 yes she said call and tell her then she put on her things to go he also put on his camp are you coming a little way emily i asked she ran laughing with bright eyes as we went out into the darkness we waited for them at the wood gate we all lingered not knowing what to say let it said finally well it's no good the grass is wet good-night good-night emily good-night good-night emily good-night good-night good-night he said with regret and hesitation and a trifle of impatience in his voice and his manner he lingered still the moment she hesitated that she struck off sharply he's not asked her the idiot i said to myself really she said bitterly when we were going up the garden path you think rather quiet folks have a lot in them but it's only stupidity they are mostly fools end of part two chapter four part two chapter five of the white peacock by d h lawrence this librivox recording is in the public domain recording by simon evers part two chapter five an arrow from the impatient god On an afternoon, three or four days after the recovery of Sam, matters became complicated. George, as usual, discovered that he had been dawdling in the portals of his desires, when the doors came, too, with a bang. Then he hastened to knock.
Starting point is 07:24:15 Tell her, he said, I will come up to-morrow after milking. Tell her I am comfortable to see her. On the evening that morrow, the first person to put in an appearance was a garrulous spinster who called ostensibly to inquire into the absence of the family from church. I said to Elizabeth, now what a thing if anything happens to them just now, and the wedding is put off. I thought I must come and make myself sure that nothing had happened. We all feel so interested in Letty just now. I'm sure everybody is talking of her. She seems in the air.
Starting point is 07:24:47 I really think we shall have thunder. I hope we shan't. Yes, we are also glad that Mr. Tempest is content with a wife from at home. the others, his father and Mr. Roberts and the rest, they were none of them to be suited at home, though to be sure the wives they brought were nothing, indeed they were not. As many a one said, Mrs. Robert was a paltry choice. Neither in looks or manner had she anything to boast of, if her family was older than mine. Family wasn't much to make up for what she lacked in other things that I could easily have supplied her with. And oh dear, what an object she is now with her
Starting point is 07:25:16 whisper of hair and her spectacles. She, for one, hasn't kept much of her youth. But when is the exact date, dear. Some say this and some say that, but as I always say, I never trust her, they say. It is so nice that you have that cousin, a cannon, to come down for the service, Mrs. Beardsaw, and Sir Walter Houghton for the groomsman. What? You don't think so. Oh, but I know, dear, I know. You do like to treasure up these secrets, don't you? You're greedy for all the good things just now. She shook her head at Lettie, and the jet ornaments on her bonnet twittered like a thousand wagging little tongues. Then she sighed. I was about to recommend her song. when she happened to turn her head and to aspire a telegraph boy coming up the path oh i hope nothing is wrong dear i hope nothing is wrong i always feel so terrified of a telegram you better not open it yourself dear don't now let your brother go
Starting point is 07:26:07 letty who had turned pale hurried to the door the sky was very dark there was a mutter of thunder it's all right said letty trembling it's only to say he's coming to-night i'm very thankful very thankful cried the spinster it might be very thankful it might be very very very thankful cried the spinster it might be very very very very have been so much worse. I'm sure I never opened a telegram without feeling as if I was opening a death blow. I'm so glad, dear, it must have upset you. What news to take back to the village, supposing something had happened? She sighed again, and the jet drops twinkled ominously in the thunderlight, as if declaring they would make something of it yet. It was six o'clock. The air relaxed a little, and the thunder was silent. George would be coming about seven, and the spinster showed no signs of departure and leslie might arrive at any moment betty fretted and fidgeted and the old woman gabbled on i looked out of the window at the water and the sky the day had been uncertain in the morning it was warm and the sunshine had played and raced among the cloud shadows on the hills later great cloud masses had stalked up from the northwest and crowded thick across the sky in this little night sleet
Starting point is 07:27:20 and wind and rain whirled furiously. Then the sky had laughed at us again. In the sunshine came the spinster, but as she talked over the hilltop rose the wide forehead of the cloud, rearing slowly, ominously higher. A first messenger of storm passed darkly over the sky, leaving the way clear again. I will go round to hide close, said Lettie.
Starting point is 07:27:45 I'm sure it will be stormy again. Are you coming down the road, Miss Slater, or do you mind if i leave you i will go dear if you think there is going to be another storm i dread it so perhaps i had better wait oh it will not come over for an hour i'm sure we read the weather well out here don't we cyril you'll come with me won't you we three set off the gossip leaning on her toes tripping between us she was much gratified by letty's information concerning the proposals for the new home we left her in a glow of congratulatory smiles on the highway but the The clouds had upreared and stretched in two great arms reaching overhead. The little spinster hurried along, but the black hands of the clouds kept pace and clutched her. A sudden gust of winds shuddered in the trees and rushed upon her cloak, blowing its bugles. An icy raindrop smote into her cheek.
Starting point is 07:28:39 She hurried on, praying fervently for her bonnet's sake that she might reach widow Harriman's cottage before the burst came. But the thunder crashed in her ear, and a host of hailstones flew at her. In despair and anguish she fled from under the ash trees. She reached the widow's garden gate when out leapt the lightning full at her. Put me in the stairhole, she cried. Where is the stairhole?
Starting point is 07:29:04 Dancing wildly round, she saw a ghost. It was the reflection of the sainted spinster, Hilda Slater, in the widow's mirror. A flexion with a bonnet fallen backwards and to it attached a thick rope of grey-brown hair. The author of the ghost instinctively twisted to look at the back of her head. She saw some ends of grey hair and fled into the open stairhole, as into a grave. We had gone back home till the storm was over, and then, restless, afraid of the arrival of George, we set out again into the wet evening.
Starting point is 07:29:37 It was fine and chilly, and already a mist was rising from Nethermear, veiling the farther shore, where the trees rose loftily, suggesting grows beyond. the Nile. The birds were singing riotously. The fresh green hedge glistened vividly and glowed again with intense green. Looking at the water, I perceived a delicate flush from the west hiding along it. The mist licked and wreathed up the shores. From the hidden white distance came the mournful cry of waterfowl. We went slowly along behind a heavy cart which clanked and rattled under the dripping trees, with the hoofs of the horse moving with broad thuds in front. We passed over black patches, where the ash flowers were beaten down, and under great masked clouds of green sycamore. At the sudden curve of the road, near the foot of the hill,
Starting point is 07:30:30 I stopped to break off a spray of larch, where the soft cones were heavy as raspberries, and gay-like flowers with petals. The shaken bough spat at a heavy shower on my face of dropped so cold that they seemed to sink into my blood and chill it. Mark, said Lettie as I was drying my face. There was the quick patter of a motor car coming downhill. The heavy cart was drawn across the road to rest, and the driver hurried to turn the horse back. It moved with painful slowness, and we stood in the road in suspense. Suddenly, before we knew it, the car was dropping down on us, coming at us in a curve,
Starting point is 07:31:07 having rounded the horse and cart. Letty stood faced with terror. Leslie saw her and swung round the wheels on the sharp, curving hillside, looking only to see that he should miss her. The car slid sideways, the mud crackled under the wheels, and the machine went crashing into Nethermare. It caught the edge of the old stone wall with a smash. Then for a few moments I think I was blind.
Starting point is 07:31:27 When I saw again, Leslie was lying across the broken hedge, his head hanging down the bank, his face covered with blood. The car rested strangely on the brink of the water, crumpled as it had sunk down to rest. Lettie, with hands shuddering, was wiping the blood from his eyes with a piece of her underskirt. In a moment she said, He's not dead. Let us take him home.
Starting point is 07:31:48 Let us take him quickly. I ran and took the wicket-gate off its hinges and laid him on that. His legs trailed down, but we carried him thus she at the feet, eye at the head. She made his stop and put him down. I thought the weight was too much for her, but it was not that. I can't bear to see his hand hanging, knocking against the bushes and things. It was not many yards to the house. A maid-servant saw us, came running out and went running back like the frightened lapwing from
Starting point is 07:32:15 the wounded cat. We waited until the doctor came. There was a deep graze down the side of the head, serious but not dangerous. There was a cut across the cheek-bone that would leave a scar, and the collar-bone was broken. I stayed until he had recovered consciousness. Letty. He wanted Lettie so she had to remain at high-close all night. I went home to tell my mother.
Starting point is 07:32:40 When I went to bed, I looked across at the lighted windows of high-close, and the light trailed mistily towards me across the water. The cedar stood dark guard against the house. Bright the windows were like the stars, and like the stars covering their torment in brightness. The sky was glittering with sharp lights. They are too far off to take trouble for us, so little, little, almost to nothingness.
Starting point is 07:33:05 All the great hollow vastness roars overhead And the stars are only sparks That whirl and spin in the restless space The earth must listen to us She covers her face with a thin veil of mist And is sad She soaks up our blood tenderly In the darkness grieving
Starting point is 07:33:24 And in the light she soothes and reassures us Here on our earth is sympathy and hope The heavens have nothing but distances A corn-crake talked to me across the valley, talked and talked endlessly, asking and answering in hoarse tones from the sleeping, mist-hidden meadows. The monotonous voice, that on past summer evenings had had pleasant notes of romance, now was intolerable to me. Its inflexible harshness and cacophony seemed like the voice of fate speaking out its tuneless perseverance in the night. In the morning, Letty came home, won, sad-eyed. and self-reproachful after a short time they came for her as he wanted her again when in the evening i went to see george he too was very despondent
Starting point is 07:34:17 it's no good now said i you should have insisted a mate's your own destiny yes perhaps so he drawled in his best reflective manner i would have had her she'd have been glad if you'd done as you wanted with her she won't live him till he's strong and he'll marry her before then you should have had the courage to risk yourself you're always too careful of yourself and your own poor feelings you never could brace yourself up to a shower-bath of content and hard usage so you've saved your feelings and lost not much i suppose you couldn't but he began not looking up and i laughed at him go on i said well she was engaged to him you thought you were too good to be rejected He was very pale, and when he was pale the tan on his skin looked sickly. He regarded me with his dark eyes, which were now full of misery and a child's big despair. And nothing else, I completed, with which the little exhausted gunboat of my anger wrecked and sank utterly. Yet no thoughts would spread sail on the sea of my pity. I was like water that heaves with yearning and is still.
Starting point is 07:35:32 Leslie was very ill for some time. He had a slight brain fever and was delirious, insisting that Lettie was leaving him. She stayed most of her days at High Close. One day in June he lay resting on a deck chair in the shade of a cedar, and she was sitting by him. It was a yellow, sultry day, and all the atmosphere seemed inert, and all things were languid. Don't you think, dear, she said, it would be better for us not to marry? he lifted his head nervously from the cushions his face was emblazoned with a livid red bar on a field of white and he looked warm wistful you mean not yet he asked yes and perhaps perhaps never he laughed sinking down again i must be getting like myself again if you begin to tease me but she said struggling vanedly i'm not sure i ought to marry you He laughed again, though a little apprehensively. "'Are you afraid I shall always be weak in my knottle?' he asked. "'But you wait a month.'
Starting point is 07:36:44 "'No, that doesn't bother me.' "'No, doesn't it? "'Siddy boy. "'No, it's myself. "'I'm sure I've made no complaint about you.' "'Not likely, but I wish you'd let me go.' "'I'm a strong man to hold you, aren't I? "'Look at my muscular paw.'
Starting point is 07:37:01 he held at his hands frail and white with sickness you know you hold me and i want you to let me go i don't want to to what to get married at all let me be let me go what for oh for my sake you mean you don't love me love love i don't know anything about it but i can't we can't be don't you see oh what do they say flesh of one flesh? Why? he whispered, like a child that is told some tale of mystery. She looked at him, as he lay propped upon his elbow, turning towards her his white face of fear and perplexity, like a child that cannot understand and is afraid and wants to cry. Then slowly, tears gathered full in her eyes, and she wept from pity and despair. This excited him terribly. He got up from his chair and the cushions fell onto the grass. What's the matter? What's the matter? Oh, Lettie, is it me?
Starting point is 07:38:08 Did you want me now? Is that it? Tell me. Tell me. He grasped her wrists and tried to pull her hands from her face. The tears were running down his cheeks. She felt him, trembling, and the sound of his voice alarmed her from herself. She hastily smeared the tears from her eyes, got up, and put her arms round him. He hid his head on her shoulder and sobbed, while she, bent over him, and so they cried out of their cries till they were ashamed, looking round to see if anyone were near. Then she hurried about, picking up the cushions, making him lie down, and arranging him comfortably, so that she might be busy. He was querulous, like
Starting point is 07:38:49 a sick, indulged child. He would have her arm under his shoulders, and her face near his. "'Well,' he said, smiling faintly again after a time, "'you are naughty to give us such rough times. "'Is it for the pleasure of making up, bad at your schn't you? "'She'd get close to him, and he did not see the wince and quiver of her lips. "'I wish I was strong again. "'Couldn't we go boating or ride on horseback, and you'd have to behave then? "'Do you think I should be strong in a month?
Starting point is 07:39:23 "'Stronger than you?' i hope so she said why i don't believe you do i believe you like me like this though that you can lay me down and smooth me don't you quiet girl when you're good ah well in a month i shall be strong and will be married and go to switzerland do you hear schnucker you won't be able to be naughty any more then oh do you want to go away from me again no only my arm is dead she drew it from beneath him standing up swinging it smiling because it hurt her oh my darling what a shame how i am a brute a kiddish brute i wish i was strong again letty didn't do these things you boy it's nothing she smiled at him again end of part two chapter five part two chapter six of the white peacock by d h lawrence this library box recording is in the public domain according by simon amers part two chapter six the courting during leslie's illness i strolled down to the mill one saturday evening i met george tramping across the yard with a couple of buckets of swill and eleven young pigs rushing squealing about his legs shrieking in an agony of suspense he poured the stuff into a trough with luscious gurgle and instantly ten noses were dipped in and ten little mouths began to slobber though there was plenty of room for ten yet they shouldered and shoved and struggled to capture a larger space and many little trotters dabbled and spilled the stuff and the ten sucking clapping snouts twitched fiercely and twenty little eyes glared a scant like so many points of wrath
Starting point is 07:41:16 they gave uneasy gasping grunts in their haste the unhappy eleventh rushed from point to point trying to push in his snout but for his pains he got rough squeezing and sharp grabs on his ears then he lifted up his face and screamed screams of grief and wrath unto the evening sky but the ten little glutton's only twitched their ears to make sure there was no danger in the noise and they sucked harder with much spilling and slobbing george laughed like a sardonic jove but at last he gave ear and kicked the ten blutons from the trough and allowed the residue to the eleventh this one poor wretch almost wept with relief as he sucked and swallowed in sobs casting his little eyes apprehensively upwards though he did not lift his nose from the trough as he heard the vindictive shrieks of ten little fiends kept at bay by george the solitary feeder shivering with apprehension rubbed the wood bare with his snout there Then, turning up to heaven his eyes of gratitude, he reluctantly left the trough. I expected to see the ten fall upon him and devour him, but they did not. They rushed upon the empty trough and rubbed the wood still drier, shrieking with misery. "'How like life!' I laughed.
Starting point is 07:42:31 "'Bind letter,' said George. "'There were fourteen, only that damned she-devil Searcy went and ate three of them before we got at her.' The great ugly sow came leering up as he spoke. Why don't you fatten her up and devour her, the old gargoyle? She's an offence to the universe. Nay, she's a fine sow. I snorted, and he laughed, and the old sow grunted with contempt,
Starting point is 07:42:56 and her little eyes twisted towards us with a demoniac leer as she rolled past. What are you going to do tonight, I asked? Going out. I'm going courting, he replied, grinning. Huh, wish I were. You could come if you like. and tell me where i make mistakes since you're an expert on such matters don't you get on very well then i asked oh all right it's easy enough when you don't care a damn besides you can always have a johnny walker that's the best of courting at the ram in i'll go and get ready in the kitchen emily sat grinding out some stitching from a big old hand machine that stood on the table before her she was making shirts for sam i presumed that little fellow who was installed at the farm
Starting point is 07:43:42 was seated by her side, firing off words from a reading book. The machine rumbled and rattled on, like a whole factory at work, for an inch or two, during which time Sam shouted in shrill explosions like irregular pistol shots. Do not pot. Put, cried Emily, from the machine. Put, shrilled the child. The soot on my boot. There the machine broke down, and frightened by.
Starting point is 07:44:12 By the sound of his own voice, the boy stopped him bewilderment and looked round. Go on, said Emily, as she poked in the teeth of the old machine with the scissors, then pulled and prodded again. He began, Boat, but you... Here he died off again, made nervous by the sound of his voice and the stillness. Emily sucked a piece of cotton and pushed it through the needle. Oh, go on, she said. But you may... But you may...
Starting point is 07:44:39 But you may... Shoot, he shouted away, reassured by the rumble of the machine. Shoot the fox. It is at the rot. Root! Shrieked Emily, as she guided the staff through the doddering jaws of the machine. Root! echoed the boy, and he went off with these crackers. Root of the tree.
Starting point is 07:45:07 Next one, cried Emily. Put the owl. began the boy. What? cried Emily. Oll, on. Wait a bit, cried Emily, and then the machine broke down. Hang, she ejaculated. Hang! shouted the child.
Starting point is 07:45:25 She laughed and leaned over to him. Put the oil in the pan to boil while I toil in the soil. Oh, Cyril, I never knew you were there. Go along now, Sam. David'll be at the back somewhere. He's in the bottom garden, said I. And the child ran out. directly george came in from the scullery drying himself he stood on the hearth-rug as he rubbed himself and surveyed his reflection in the mirror above the high mantelpiece he looked at himself and smiled i wondered that he found such satisfaction in his image seeing that there was a gap in his chin and an uncertain moth-eaten appearance in one cheek mrs saxton still held this mirror as an object of dignity it was fairly large and had a well-carven frame but it left gaps and spots and scratches in one's
Starting point is 07:46:11 countenance, and even where it was brightest it gave one's reflection a far-away, dim aspect. Notwithstanding, George smiled at himself as he combed his hair and twisted his moustache. You seem to make a good impression on yourself, said I. I was thinking I looked all right, sort of face to go courting with, he replied, laughing. You just arrange a patch of black to come and hide your faults, and you're all right. I always used to think, said Emily. that the black spots had swallowed so many faces they were full up and couldn't take any more, and the rest was misty because there were so many faces lapped one over the other, reflected.
Starting point is 07:46:52 You do you see yourself a bit ghostish, said he, on a background of your ancestors. I always think when you stop in an old place like this, you sort of keep company with your ancestors too much. I sometimes feel like a bit of the old building walking about. The old feelings of the old folks stick to you like the lichens on the walls. you sort of get hoary that's it it's true asserted the father people whose families have shifted about much don't know how it feels that's why i'm going to canada and i'm going in a pub said george where it's quite different plenty of life life echoed emily with contempt that's the word my wench replied her mother lapsing into the dialect that's what i'm after we're all in such a lot and we're known out you do said the father turning to me you stay in one place generation after generation and you seem to get proud and look on things outside as foolishness there's many a thing as any common man knows as we haven't a glimpse of we keep on thinking and feeling the same year after year till we've only got one side and i suppose they've done it before us it's good-night and god bless you to the old place grandfathers and grandmothers laughed jor
Starting point is 07:48:10 as he ran upstairs, and off we go on the gullivant, he shouted from the landing. His father shook his head, saying, I can't make out how it is, he's so different. I suppose it's being in love. We went into the barn to get the bicycles to cycle over to Greymead. George struck a match to look for his pump, and he noticed a great spider scuttle off into the corner of the wall, and sit peeping out at him like a holly little ghoul. "'How are you old chap?' said George, nodding to him. "'Fort he looked like an old grandfather of mine,' he said to me, laughing,
Starting point is 07:48:45 as he pumped up the tyres of the old bicycle for me. "'It was Saturday night, so the bar parlour of the ram-in was fairly full. "'Well, Lord George, come, come it in,' was the cry, "'followed by a nod, and, "'Good evening, to me, who was a stranger in the parlour. "'Isray, for they,' said the fact young fellow, with an unwilling white moustache. I can't court as much as de likes to-day,
Starting point is 07:49:08 as well as the lass, and it gussed in out. At which the room laughed, taking pipes from mouths to do so. George sat down, looking round. Hold on a bit, said a black whisker man. La Munt, I e bations went to courting a lass. I was putting the old lady to bed, asked thee.
Starting point is 07:49:27 Can't here? That were the bed luts going bamb. I'll be done in a minute now. Give a time to tap the old belies. lady up can't hear her say her prayers strike cried the fat young man exploding once the old lady's saying a prayers it'd be enough to make a false teeth drop out the room laughed then began to tell tales about the old landlady she had practised bone-setting in which she was very skilful people came to her from long distances that she might divine their trouble and make right their limbs she would accept no fee once she had got her up to Dr. Fullwood to give him a peace of her mind, inasmuch as he'd let a child go for three weeks with a broken collarbone whilst treating him for dislocation. The doctor had tried
Starting point is 07:50:14 the high hand with her. Since when, wherever he went, the miners placed their hands on their shoulders and groan, Oh, me golebone! Here Meg came in. She gave a bright, quick, bird-light look at George and flushed a brighter red. I thought he wasn't coming, she said. don't of thee bother e nonstop away said the black whiskered man she brought us glasses of whisky and moved about supplying the men who chafed with her honestly and good-naturedly then she went out but we remained in our corner the men talked on the most peculiar subjects there was a bitter discussion as to whether london is or is not a sea-port the matter was thrashed out with heat then an embryo artist set the room ablaze by declaring the were only three colours, red, yellow and blue, and the rest were not colours. They were mixtures. This amounted almost to atheism, and one man asked the artist to dare to declare that his brown britches were not a colour, which the artist did, and almost had to fight for it.
Starting point is 07:51:20 Next, they came to strength, and George won a bet of five shillings by lifting a piano. Then they settled down and talked sex, Sotavocci, one man giving startling accounts of Japanese and Chinese prostitutes in Liverpool. After this the talk split up. A farmer began to counsel George how to manage the farm attached to the inn. Another bargained with him about horses and argued about cattle. A tailor advised him thickly to speculate and unfolded a fine secret by which a man might make money if he had the go to do it. So on till eleven o'clock.
Starting point is 07:51:56 Then Bill came and called Time and the place was empty and the room shivered as a little fresh air came in between the foul tobacco smoke and the smell of drink and foul breath. We were both affected by the whiskey we had drunk. I was ashamed to find when I put out my hand to take my glass, or to strike a match, I missed my mark and fumbled. My hands seemed hardly to belong to me, and my feet were not much more sure. Yet I was acutely conscious of every change in myself and in him. It seemed as if I could make my body drunk but could never intoxicate my mind,
Starting point is 07:52:32 which roused itself and kept the sharpest guard. George was frankly half-drunk. His eyelids sloped over his eyes, and his speech was thick. When he put out his hand, he knocked over his glass, and the stuff was spilled all over the table. He only laughed. I, too, felt a great prompting to giggle on every occasion, and I marvelled at myself.
Starting point is 07:52:58 Meg came into the room when all the men had gone. Come on, Middook, he said. "'Waving his arm with a generous flourish of a tipsy man, "'Come and sit here.' "'Sharn't you come in the kitchen?' she asked, "'looking round on the table where pots and glasses "'stood in little pools of liquor, "'and where spent matches and tobacco ash littered the white wood.
Starting point is 07:53:18 "'No, what for? Come and sit here.' "'He was reluctant to get on his feet. "'I knew it and laughed inwardly. "'I also laughed to hear his thick speech, "'and his words would seem to slur against his cheeks.' She went and sat by him, having moved the little table with its spilt liquor. They'd be telling me how to get rich, he said, nodding his head and laughing, showing his teeth. And I'm going to show him.
Starting point is 07:53:44 You see, make, you see, I'm going to show them I can be as good as them, you see. Why? said she and Dargent. What are you going to do? You wait a bit and see. They don't know yet what I can do. They don't know. You don't know. None of you know.
Starting point is 07:54:00 And what shall we do when we are rich, George? "'Do? I have to do what I like. I can make as good as show as everybody else, can't I?' He put his face very near to hers and nodded at her, but she did not turn away. "'Yes, I see what is like to have my fling. He'd be too cautious our family has, and I have, and frightened of ourselves to do anything. I'm going to do what I like, Midok, now. I don't care. I don't care that.' He brought his hand down heavily on the table nearest him and broke at last. Bill looked in to see what was happening.
Starting point is 07:54:34 What you won't do anything that's not right, George? No, I don't want to hurt nobody, but I don't care that. You're too good-hearted to do anybody any harm. I believe I am. You know me a bit, you do, Meg? You don't think I'm a fool now, do you? I'm sure I don't. Who does?
Starting point is 07:54:52 No, you don't. I know you don't. Give me a kiss. What, a little beauty thou are, like a ripe plum. I could set my teeth in the way. thee, thou'rt that nice, for a red juice. He playfully pretended to bite her. He laughed and gently pushed him away. "'I likeest me, doesn't thou?' he asked softly. "'What do you want to know for?' She replied with a tender archness. "'But thou does, say now, thou does. I should have thought you
Starting point is 07:55:21 to know him without telling.' "'Nay, better want to hear thee.' "'Go on,' she said, and she kissed him. "'What you should you do if I went to do, if I went to tell him?' to Canada and left you. Ah, you wouldn't do that. But I might, and what then? Oh, I don't know what I should do. But you wouldn't do it. I know you wouldn't. You couldn't. He quickly put his arms round her and kissed her, moved by the trembling surety of her tone. No, I wouldn't. I'd never leave there. Thou be as miserable as sin, shouldn't her? Me, look. Yes, she murmured. Ah, he said, thou had a warm little thing. I loves me, eh?
Starting point is 07:56:00 yes she murmured and he pressed her to him and kissed her and held her close we'll be married soon me bird aren't it lad in a bit ah glad aren't she looked up at him as if he were noble a love for him was so generous that it beautified him he had to walk his bicycle home being unable to ride his shins i know were a good deal barked by the petals end of part two chapter six part two chapter seven of the white peacock by d h lawrence this librivox recording is in the public domain recording by simon evers part two chapter seven the fascination of the forbidden apple on the first sunday in june when letty knew she would keep her engagement with leslie and when she was having a day at home from high close she got ready to go down to the mill we were in mourning for an aunt so she wore a dress of fine black voile and a black hat with long feathers then when i looked at her fair hands and her arms closely covered in the long black cuffs of her sleeves i felt keeny my old brother love shielding indulgent it was a windy sunny day in shelter the heat was passionate but in the open the wind has scattered its fire every now and then a white cloud broad-based blue-shadowed travelled slowly along the sky-road after the forerunner small in the distance and trailing over us a chill shade a gloom which we watched creep on over the water over the wood and the hill these royal rounded clouds had sailed all day along the same route from the harbour of the south to the wastes in the northern sky following the swift wild geese the brook hurried along singing
Starting point is 07:58:01 only here and there lingering to whisper to the secret bushes, then setting off afresh with a new snatch of song. The fowls pecked stately in this farmyard with Sabbath decorum. Occasionally a lost, sportive wind-puff would wander across the yard and ruffled them, and they resented it. The pigs were asleep in the sun, giving faint grunts now and then from sheer luxury. I saw a squirrel go darting down the mossy garden wall, up into the Lebernan tree where he lay flat along the bow and listened.
Starting point is 07:58:35 Suddenly, away he went, chuckling to himself. Chip all at once set off barking, but I soothed her down. It was the unusual sight of Lettie's dark dress that startled her, I suppose. We went quietly into the kitchen. Mrs. Saxon was just putting a chicken, wrapped in a piece of flannel, on the warm hob to coax it into life. It looked very feeble. George was asleep with his head and his arms on the table.
Starting point is 07:59:01 The father was asleep on the sofa, very comfortable and admirable. I heard Emily fleeing upstairs, presumably, to dress. He stays out so late up at the ram-in, whispered the mother in a high whisper, looking at George, and then he's up at five, he doesn't get his proper rest. She turned to the chicks and continued in her whisper. The mother left them just before they hatched out, so we'd been bringing them on here. This one's a bit weak. I thought I'd hot him up a bit. She laughed with a quaint little frown of deprecation.
Starting point is 07:59:34 Eight or nine yellow, fluffy little mites were cheeping and scuffling in the fender. Betty bent over to them to touch them. They were tame and ran among her fingers. Suddenly George's mother gave a loud cry and rushed to the fire. There was a smell of singed down. The chicken had toddled into the fire and gasped its faint gasp among the retort coax. The father jumped from the sofa. set up with wide eyes, Letty gave a little cry and a shudder, Trip rushed round and began to bark. There was a smell of cooked meat.
Starting point is 08:00:05 There goes number one, said the mother, with her queer little laugh. It made me laugh too. What's a matter, what's a matter? asked the father excitedly. It's a chicken been and walked into the fire. I put it on the hob to warm, exclaimed his wife. Goodness, I couldn't think what was up, he said, and dropped his head to trace gradually the border between sleeping. and waking.
Starting point is 08:00:29 George sat and smiled at us faintly. He was too dazed to speak. His chest still leaned against the table and his arms were spread out thereon, but he lifted his face and looked at Lettie with his dazed, dark eyes, and smiled faintly at her. His hair was all ruffled,
Starting point is 08:00:46 and his shirt-collar unbuttoned. Then he got up slowly, pushing his chair back with a loud noise and stretched himself, pressing his arms upwards with a long, heavy stretch. ah he said bending his arms and then letting him drop to his sides i never thought you'd come to-day i wanted to come and see you i shan't have many more chances said letty turning from him and yet looking at him again no i suppose not he said subsiding into quiet then there was silence for some time the mother began to inquire after leslie and kept the conversation up till emily came down blushing and smiling and glad
Starting point is 08:01:27 "'Are you coming out?' said she. "'There are two or three Robbins'ness and a spinkies.' "'I think I'll leave my hat,' said Lettie, "'unpinning it as she spoke, and shaking her hair when she was free. Mrs. Saxton insisted on her taking a long white scarf. Emily also wrapped her hair in a gauze scarf and looked beautiful. George came out with us, coatless, hatless, his waistcoat all unbuttoned as he was.
Starting point is 08:01:53 We crossed the orchard over the old bridge and went to where the slopes ran down to the lower pond, a bank all covered with nettles and scattered with a hazel bush or two. Among the nettles old pans were rusting, an old coarse pottery cropped up. We came upon a kettle heavily coated with lime. Emily bent down and looked, and then we peeped in. There were the robin birds, with their yellow beak stretched so wide apart,
Starting point is 08:02:20 I feared they would never close them again. among the naked little mites that take from us so blindly and confidently were huddled three eggs they're like irish children peeping out of a cottage said emily with the family fondness for romantic similes we went on to where a tin lay with a lid pressed back and inside it snug and neat with another nest with six eggs cheek to cheek "'How warm they are,' said Lettie, touching them. "'You can fairly feel the mother's breast.' He tried to put his hand into the tin, but the space was too small, and they looked into each other's eyes and smiled. "'You take the father's breasts and marred them with red,' said Emily.
Starting point is 08:03:04 As you went up the orchard side, we saw three wide displays of coloured pieces of pots arranged at the foot of three trees. "'Look,' said Emily, "'those are the children's houses. You don't know how Molly gets all Sam's pretty bits. She is a co-rolling hussy. The two looked at each other again, smiling. Up on the pond side in the full glitter of light,
Starting point is 08:03:27 we looked round where the blades of clustering corn were softly heeding the red bosom of the hill. The larks were overhead among the sunbeams. We straggled away across the grass. The field was all a froth with cowslips, a yellow, glittering, shaking froth on the still green of the grass. We trailed our shadows across the fields, extinguishing the sunshine on the flowers as we went. The air was tingling with the scent of blossoms. Look at the cowslips all shaking with
Starting point is 08:03:57 laughter, said Emily. And she tossed back her head and her dark eyes sparkled among the flow of gauze. Lett was on in front, flitting darkly across the field, bending over the flowers, stooping to the earth like a sable persephony come into freedom. George had left her at a little distance hunting for something of the grass. He stopped and remained standing in one place. Gradually, as if unconsciously, she drew near to him, and when she lifted her head after stupid to pick some chimney-sweeps, little grass-friars, she laughed with a slight surprise to see him so near.
Starting point is 08:04:35 Ha! she said, I thought I was all alone in the world. Such a splendid world. It was so nice. Like Eve in a meadow in Eden. and Adam's shadow somewhere on the grass, said I. No, no Adam, she asserted, frowning slightly and laughing. Whoever were more streets of gold, Emily was saying to me, when you could have a field of cowslips, look at that hedge-bottom that gets the south sun,
Starting point is 08:05:01 one stream and glitter of buttercups. Those Jews always had an eye to the filthy lucre, they even made heaven out of it, laughed Lettie. And turning to him, she said, Don't you wish we were wild? Huck like wood-pigeons or larks or look like pee-wits? Shouldn't you love flying and weaning and sparkling and courting in the wind? He lifted her eyelids and vibrated the question.
Starting point is 08:05:29 He flushed, bending it to the ground. Look, he said, here's a larkies. Once a horse had left a hoof-print to the soft meadow. Now the larks had rounded, softened to the cup, and had laid there three dark brown eggs. Yet he sat down and leaned over the nest. He leaned above her. The wind, running over the flower heads,
Starting point is 08:05:52 peeped in the little brown buds and bounded off again gladly. Big clouds sent messages to them down the shadows and ran in raindrops to touch them. I wish, she said. I wish we were free like that. If you could put everything safely in a little place in the earth, "'Could we have a good time as well as the larks?'
Starting point is 08:06:13 "'I don't see,' said he, "'why we can't.' "'Oh, but I can't. You know we can't.' And she looked at him fiercely. "'Why can't you?' he asked. "'You know we can't. You know as well as I do,' he replied. And her whole soul challenged him. "'We have to consider things,' she added.
Starting point is 08:06:35 He dropped his head. He was afraid to make the struggle to rouse himself to decide the question for her. She turned away and went kicking through the flowers. He picked up the blossoms she had left by the nest. They were still warm from her hands, and followed her. She walked on towards the end of the field, the long strands of her white scarf running before her. Then she leaned back to the wind while he caught her up.
Starting point is 08:07:01 Don't you want your flowers? He asked humbly. No thanks, they'd be dead before I got home. Throw them away. You look absurd with a posy. he did as he was bidden they came near the hedge her crab-apple tree blossomed up among the blue you may get me a bit of that blossom she had she and suddenly i did no i can't reach it myself whereupon she stretched upward and pulled several sprigs of the pink and white and put it in her dress isn't it pretty she said and she began to laugh ironically pointing to the flowers pretty pink-cheeked petals and stay men's like yellow hair and buds like lips promising something nice.
Starting point is 08:07:47 She stopped and looked at him, flickering with a smile. Then she pointed to the ovary beneath the flower and said, result? Crab apples. She continued to look at him and to smile. He said nothing. So they went on to where they could climb the fence into the spinny. She climbed to the top rail holding by an oak bar.
Starting point is 08:08:11 Then she let him lift her down bodily. ah she said you like to show me how strong you are a vegetable samson she mocked although she had invited him with her eyes to take her in his arms we were entering the spinae of black poplar in the hedge was an elm tree with myriads of dark dots pointed against the bright sky myriads of clusters of flaky green fruit look at that elm she said you'd think it was in full leaf wouldn't you do you know why it's so prolific no he said with a curious questioning drawl of the monosyllable it's casting its bread upon the winds no it is dying so it puts out all its strength and loads its boughs with the last fruit it'll be dead next year if you are here then come and see look at the ivy the suave smooth ivy with his fingers in the tree's throat please know how to die you see we don't with our wincical moods she tormented him she was at the bottom a seething confusion of emotion and she wanted to make him likewise if we weren't trees with ivy instead of being fine humans with free active life we should hug our thinning lives shouldn't we i suppose we should you for instance fancy your sacrificing yourself for the next generation that reminds you of shopinhire doesn't it for the next generation or love or anything he did not answer her she was too swift for him they passed on under the poplars which were hanging strings of green beads above them there was a little open space with tufts and bluebells setty stooped over a wood-pigeon that lay on the ground on its breast its wings half spread
Starting point is 08:10:00 She took it up. Its eyes were bursed and bloody. She felt its breast, ruffling the dimming iris in its throat. "'It's been fighting,' he said. "'What for? A maid?' she asked, looking at him. "'I don't know,' he answered. "'Cold, he's quite cold under the feathers. I think a wood-pigeet must enjoy being fought for, and being won, especially of the right one, won.' "'It would be a fine pleasure to see them fighting, don't you think?'
Starting point is 08:10:29 she said, torturing him. The claws are spread, it fell dead off the perch, he replied. Ah, poor thing, it was wounded and sat and waited for death when the other had won. Did you think life is very cruel, George, and love the cruelest of all? He laughed bitterly under the pain of her soft, sad as tones. Let me bury him and have done with the beaten lover, but we'll make him a pretty grave. she scooped a hold of the dark soil and snatching a handful of bluebells threw them in on top of the dead bird then she smoothed the soil over all and pressed her white hands on the black glow there she said knocking her hands one against the other to shake off the soil he's done with come on he followed her speechless with his emotion the spinning opened out the ferns were serenely uncoiling the bluebell stood grouped with blue curled
Starting point is 08:11:31 mingled. In the freer spaces forget-me-notes flowered in nebulae and dog varlets gave an undertone of dark purple with primroses for planets in the night. It was a slight drift of woodruff, sweet, new-mown hay scenting the air under the boughs. On a wet bank was the design of golden saxifrage, glistering unholy as if varnished by its minister the snail. George and Letty crushed the veined bells of wood sorrel and broke the silken mosses. What did it matter to them what they broke or crushed? Over the fence of the spinny was the hillside scattered with old fawn trees. There the little grey lichens held up ruby balls to us unnoticed. Did it matter when all the great red apples were being shaken
Starting point is 08:12:19 from the tree to be left to rot? If I were a man, said Letty, I would go out west and be free. I should love it. She took the scarf from her head and let it wave out on the wind. The colour was warm in her face with climbing, and her curls were freed by the wind's sparkling and rippling. Well, you're not a man, he said, looking at her and speaking with timid bitterness. No, she laughed. If I were, I would shape things. Oh, wouldn't I have my own way?
Starting point is 08:12:51 Don't you now? Oh, I don't want it particularly, when I've got it. When I've had my way, I do want it. want somebody to take it back from me." She put her head back and looked at him sideways, laughing through the glitter of her hair. They came to the kennels. She sat down on the edge of the great stone water trough and put her hands in the water, moving them gently like submerged flowers through the clear pool.
Starting point is 08:13:18 I love to see myself in the water, she said. I don't mean on the water Narcissus, but that's how I should like to be out west to have a little lake of my own and swim with my limbs quite free in the water. do you swim well he asked fairly i would race you in your little lake she laughed took her hands out of the water and watched the clear drops trickle off then she lifted her head suddenly at some fort or other she looked across the valley and saw the red roofs of the mill ilion ilien fatalis incestuousque eudex et mullier peregrina vertit impoverim what's that he said nothing that's a private trough exclaimed a thin voice high like a peewit's cry we started in surprise to see a tall black-bearded man looking at us and away from us nervously fidgeting uneasily some ten yards off is it said nettie looking at her wet hands which he proceeded to dry on a fragment of a handkerchief you mustn't meddle with it said the man in the same reedy oboe voice Then he turned his head away and his pale grey eyes rove the countryside.
Starting point is 08:14:36 When he had courage, he turned his back to us, shading his eyes to continue his scrutiny. He walked hurriedly, a few steps, then craned his neck, peering into the valley, and hastened a dozen yards in another direction, again stretching and peering about. Then he went indoors. He's pretended to look for somebody, said Lettie, but it's only because he's afraid we shall think he came out just to look at us. and they laughed. Suddenly a woman appeared at the gate.
Starting point is 08:15:05 She had pale eyes like the mouse-voiced man. You kept Bright's disease sitting on that there, dump stone, she said to Lettie, who at once rose apologetically. I ought to know, continued the mouse-voiced woman. Your mother died of it. Indeed, murmured Lettie. I'm sorry. Yes, continued the woman.
Starting point is 08:15:25 It behoves you to be careful. Do you come from Strelty Mill Farm? she asked suddenly of George, surveying his shameful desabeer with bitter reproof, he admitted the imputation. "'Had you going to leave, aren't you?' Which also he admitted. "'Hom! This'll up and get some neighbours. It's a dog's life forlorniness. I suppose you knew the last lot that was here.'
Starting point is 08:15:48 Another brief admission. "'A dirty lot. A dirky beadlegy, must have been. You should have just seen these grades.' "'Yes,' said Lettie. I have seen them.' "'Fa estate! But come in, come in, you'll see a difference!' They entered out of curiosity. The kitchen was indeed different. It was clean and sparkling, warm, with bright red chintzes on the sofa and on every chair cushion. Unfortunately, the effect was spoiled by green and yellow antimicassas, and by a profusion of paper and woollen flowers.
Starting point is 08:16:20 There were three cases of woollen flowers, and on the wall four fans, stitched over with ruffled green and yellow paper, adorned with yellow paper roses, nations, arum lilies and poppies. There were also wall pockets full of paper flowers, while the wood outside was loaded with blossom. Yes, said Lettie, there is a difference. The woman swell and looked round. The black-bearded man peeped from behind the Christian herald, those long, blaring trumpets, and shrank again. The woman darted at his pipe which he put on a piece of newspaper on the hob and blew some imaginary ash from it. Then she caught sight of something, perhaps some dust on the fireplace.
Starting point is 08:17:01 There, she cried, I knew it. I couldn't leave him for one second. I haven't worked enough burning wood, but he must be pork, pork. I only pushed a piece in between the bars, complained the mouse voice from behind the paper. Pushed a piece in, she reacowed with awful scorn, seizing the poker and thrusting it over his paper. What do you call that sitting there telling his stories before forks? They crept out and hurried away. Blancing round Lettie saw the woman
Starting point is 08:17:28 Mopping the doorstep after them And she laughed He pulled his watch out of his Britch's pocket It was half-past three What are you looking at the time for? She asked Makes coming to tea
Starting point is 08:17:42 He replied She said no more And they walked slowly on When they came on to the shoulder of the hill And looked down onto the mill And the millpon she said I will not come down with you I will go home
Starting point is 08:17:54 "'Not come down to tea,' he exclaimed, "'full of reproach and amazement. "'Why, what will they say?' "'No, I won't come down. "'Let me say farewell. "'Yamquivale. "'Do you remember how Eurydices sank bank into hell?' "'But,' he stammered,
Starting point is 08:18:10 "'you must come down to tea. "'How can I tell them? "'Why won't you come?' "'She answered him in Latin, "'with two lines from Virgil. "'As she watched him, "'she pitied his helplessness, "'and gave him a last cut,
Starting point is 08:18:23 "'as she said, very softly and tenderly, it wouldn't be fair to Meg. He stood looking at her. His face was coloured only by the grey-brown tan. His eyes, the dark, self-mistrustful eyes of the family, were darker than ever, dilated with misery of helplessness, and she was infinitely pitiful.
Starting point is 08:18:45 She wanted to cry in her yearning. Shall we go into the wood for a few minutes? She said in a low, tremulous voice, as they turned aside. The wood was high and warm, along the ridings the forget-menots were knee-deep, stretching, glimmering into the distance like the Milky Way through the night.
Starting point is 08:19:05 They left the tall, flower-tangled paths to go in among the bluebells, breaking through the close-pressed flowers and ferns, till they came to an oak which had fallen across the hazels, where they sat, half-screened. The harsens drooped magnificently with an overweight of purple, or they stood pale and erect, like unripe ears of purple corn.
Starting point is 08:19:27 Heavy bees swung down in a blunder of extravagance among the purple flowers. They were intoxicated even with the sight of so much blue. The sound of their hearty, wanton humming came clear upon the solemn boom of the wind overhead. The sight of their clinging, clambering riot gave satisfaction to the soul. A rosy campion flower caught the sun and shone out, an elm sent down a shower of flesh-tinted sheaths upon them if there were fawns and hammered riots she said softly turning to him to soothe his misery she took his cap from his head ruffled his hair saying if you were a fawn i would put gulder roses round your hair and make you look back an alien she left her hand lying on his knee and looked up at the sky its blue looked pale and green in comparison with the purple-tide about the wood. Clouds rose up like towers, and something had touched them into beauty and
Starting point is 08:20:28 poised them up among the winds. The clouds passed on, and the pool of sky was clear. Look, she said, how we are netted down, bows with knots of green buds. If we were free on the winds, but I'm glad we're not. She turned suddenly to him, and with the same movement she gave him her hand and he clasped it in both hives. I'm glad we're netted down here. If we were free in the winds, ah! She laughed, peculiar little laugh, catching her breath. Look, she said, it's a palace with the ash trunk smooth like a girl's arm, and the elm columns ribbed and bossed and fretted with the great steel shafts of beech,
Starting point is 08:21:12 all rising up to hold an embroidered carecloth over us, and every thread of the carecloth vibrates with music for us. and the little broidered bird sing and the hazel bushes fling green spray round us and the honeysuckle leans down to pour out scent over us look at the harvest of bluebells ripened for us listen to the bees sounding among all the organ play if he sounded exultant for us she looked at him with tears coming up into her eyes and a little wintsome wistful smile hovering round her mouth he was very pale and dared not look at her she put her hand in his leaning softly against him he watched as if fascinated a young thrush with full pale breast who hopped near to look at them glancing with quick shining eyes the clouds are going on again said letty look at that cloud face see gazing right up into the sky the lips are opening he's telling us something now the form is slipping away it's a little bit of the sky it's a little bit of the sky it's a little bit of it's a little bit of it's a little bit of it's a little bit of it's a little bit of it's a way it's It's gone. Come, we must go too. No, he cried, don't go. Don't go away. A tenderness made her calm. She replied in a voice perfect in restrained sadness and resignation. No, my dear, no. Threads of my life were untwined. They drifted about like floating threads of Gossamer, and you didn't put out your hand to take them and twist them up into the call. with yours now another has caught them up and the cord of my life is being twisted and i cannot wrench it free and untrined it again i can't i'm not strong enough besides you have twisted another thread far and tight into your cord could you get free
Starting point is 08:23:09 tell me tell me tell me i can't tell you so let me go no letty he pleaded with terror and he humility. No, let it, don't go. What should I do with my life? Nobody would love you like I do. What should I do with my love for you? Hate it and fear it because it's too much for me. Turned and kissed him gratefully. He then took her in a long, passionate embrace mouth to mouth. In the end it had so wearied her that she could only wait in his arms till he was too tired to hold her. He was trembling already. "'Poor Meg,' she murmured to herself, Daly, "'her sensations having become vague.
Starting point is 08:23:57 "'He winced, and the pressure of his arms are slackened. "'She loosened his hands and rose half-dazed from her seat by him. "'She left him while he sat dejected, raising no protest. "'When I went out to look for them, "'when tea had already been waiting on the table half an hour or more, "'I found him, leading against him, the gate-post at the bottom of the hill. There was no blood in his face, and his tan showed, livid. He was haggard, as if he had been ill for some weeks.
Starting point is 08:24:30 Whatever's the matter, I said. Where's Letty? She's gone home, he answered. And the sound of his own voice and the meaning of his own words made him heave. Why? I asked him an alarm. He looked at me as if to say, what are you talking about? about. I cannot listen. Why? I insisted. I don't know, he replied. They're waiting tea for you, I said. He heard me, but took no notice. Come on, I repeated. There's Megan everybody waiting tea for you. I don't want any, he said. I waited a minute or two. He was violently sick. Imeum fervent difficulte, bilay tumet jacour, I thought it to myself.
Starting point is 08:25:21 When the sickness passed over, he stood up away from the post, trembling and lugubrious. His eyelids drooped heavily over his eyes, and he looked at me and smiled a faint, sick smile. Come and lie down in the loft, I said, and I'll tell them you've got a biddy a spout. He bade me, not having energy to question. His strength had gone, and his plenty of physique seemed shrunken. He walked weakly. I looked away from him, for in his feebleness he was already beginning to feel ludicrous. We got into the barn unperceived, and I watched him climb on the ladder to the loft.
Starting point is 08:26:00 Then I went indoors to tell them. I told them Letty had promised to be at high-close for tea, that George had a bilious attack and was moaning about the barn till it was over. He had been badly sick. We had tea without zest or enjoyment. Meg was wistful and ill at ease. The father talked to her and made much of her. The mother did not care for her much.
Starting point is 08:26:23 I can't understand it, said the mother. He so rarely has anything the matter with him. Why, I've hardly known the day. Are you sure it's nothing serious, Cyril? It seems such a thing, and just when Meg happened to be done, just when Meg was coming. About half-past six I had again to go and look for him to satisfy the anxiety of his mother and his sweetheart. I went whistling to let him know I was coming.
Starting point is 08:26:49 He lay on a pile of hay in a corner asleep. He put his cap under his head to stop the tickling of the hay, and he lay half-curled up, sleeping soundly. He was still very pale, and there was on his face the repose and pathos that a sorrow always leaves. as he wore no coat i was afraid he might be chilly so i had covered him up with a couple of sacks and i left him i would not have him disturbed i helped the father about the koshos and with the pigs make had to go at half-past seven he was so disappointed that i said come and have a look at him i'll tell him you did he had thrown off the sacks and spread out his limbs as he lay on his back flung out on the hay he looked big again and manly his mouth had relaxed and taken its old easy lines one fell for him now the warmth one feels for anyone who sleeps in an attitude of abandon she leaned over him and looked at him with a little rapture of love and tenderness she longed to caress him then he stretched himself and his eyes opened their sudden unclosing gave her a thrill he smiled sleepily and murmured well o meg then i saw him awake
Starting point is 08:28:07 as he remembered he turned with a great sighing yawn hit his face again and lay still come along meg i whispered he'll be best to sleep i'd better cover him up she said taking the sack and laying it very gently over his shoulders he kept perfectly still while i drew her away end of part two chapter seven part two chapter eight of the one White Peacock by D.H. Lawrence. This Librivox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Simon Evers. Part 2, Chapter 8. A Poem of Friendship The magnificent promise of spring was broken before the May blossom was fully out. All through the beloved month, the wind rushed in upon us from the north and northeast, bringing the rain fierce and heavy. The tender-budded trees shuddered and moaned. When the wind was dry, the young leaves flapped limp. The grass and corn grew lush, but the light of the
Starting point is 08:29:28 Daddilands was quite extinguished, and it seemed that only a long time back had we made merry before the broad glare of these flowers. The bluebells lingered and lingered. They fringed the fields for weeks like purple fringe of mourning. The pink campions came out, only to hang heavy with rain. Hawthorne buds remained tight and hard as pearls shrinking into the brilliant green foliage. The forget-me-nots, the poor plied ease of the woods were ragged weeds. Often at the end of the day, the sky opened and stately clouds hung over the horizon infinitely far away, glowing through the yellow distance with an amber luster. They never came any nearer. Always they remained far off, looking calmly and majestically over the shivering earth, then saddened, fearing their radiance might
Starting point is 08:30:22 be dimmed, they drew away and sank out of sight. Sometimes towards sunset, a great shield stretched dark from the west to the zenith, tangling the light along its edges. As the canopy rose higher, it broke, dispersed, and the sky was primrose coloured, high and pale above the crystal moon. Then the cattle crouched and among the gorse, distressed by the cold, while the long-billed snipe flickered round high overhead, round and round in great circles, seeming to carry a serpent from its throat, and crying a tragedy, more painful than the poignant lamentations and protests of the pee-wits. Following these evenings came mornings cold and grey. Such a morning I went up to the George
Starting point is 08:31:11 on the top fallow. His father was out with the milk. He was alone. As I came up the hill, I could see him standing in the cart, scattering manure over the bare red fields. I could hear his voice calling now and then to the mare, and the creak and clank of the cart as it moved on. Starlings and smart wag-tails were running briskly over the clods, and many little birds flashed, fluttered, hopped here and there. The lapwings wheeled and cried as ever between the low clouds and the earth, and some ran beautifully among the furrows, too graceful and listening for the rough fields. I took a fork and scattered them at yore along the hollows, and thus we worked with a wide field between us, yet very near in the sense of intimacy.
Starting point is 08:31:59 I watched him through the wheeling pee-wits as the low clouds went stealthily overhead. Beneath us the spars of the poplars in the spiny were warm gold, as if the blood shone through. Further gleamed the grey water, and below it the red roofs. Neithermeier was half-hidden and far away. There was nothing in this grey, lonely world, but the Peewits swinging and crying, and George swinging silently at his work. The movement of active life held all my attention,
Starting point is 08:32:32 and when I looked up, it was to see the motion of his limbs and his head, the rise and fall of his rhythmic body, and the rise and fall of the slow-waving Pea-wits. After a while, when the cart was empty, He took a fork and came towards me, working at my task. It began to rain, so he brought a sack from the cart, and we crushed ourselves under the thick hedge. We sat close together and watched the rain fall like a grey-striped curtain before us, hiding the valley.
Starting point is 08:33:02 We watched it trickle in dark streams off the mare's back as she stood dejectedly. We listened to the swish of the drops falling all about. We felt the chill of the rain, and drew ourselves together. in silence. He smoked his pipe, and I lit a cigarette. The rain continued. All the little pebbles on the red earth glistened in the grey gloom. We sat together, speaking occasionally. It was at these times we formed them almost passionate attachment, which later years slowly wore away. When the rain was over, we filled our buckets with potatoes and went along the wet furrows, sticking the spritid tubers in the cold ground.
Starting point is 08:33:47 Being sandy, the field dried quickly. About twelve o'clock when nearly all the potatoes were set, he left me, and, fetching up Bob from the far hedgeside, harnessed the mare and him to the ridger to cover the potatoes. A sharp, light plough turned to the soil and a fine furrow over the potatoes. Hosts of little birds fluttered, settled, bounded off again after the plough. He called to the horses, and they came downhill, the white stars on the two brown noses nodding up and down, jawed striding firm and heavy behind. They came down upon me. At a call the horses turned, shifting awkwardly sideways. He flung himself against the plough, and leaning well in, brought it round with a sweep. A click, and they are off uphill again.
Starting point is 08:34:37 There is a great rustle as the birds sweep round after him and follow up the new-turned furrow. Untackling the horses when the rows were all covered, we trapped behind them down the wet hillside to dinner. I kicked through the drenched grass, crushing the withered cowslips under my clogs, avoiding the purple orchids that were stunted with harsh upbringing, but magnificent in their powerful colouring, crushing the padded lady smocks, the washed-out wild gillivers. I became conscious of something near my feet, something little and dark, moving indefinitely. I had found again the larky's nest. I perceived the yellow beaks, the bulging eyelids of two tiny larks, and the blue lines of their wing quills. The indefinite movement was the swift rise and fall of the brown-fledged backs, over which waved long strands of fine down.
Starting point is 08:35:31 The two little specks of birds lay side by side beak to beak, their tiny bodies raised. rising and falling in quick unison. I gently put down my fingers to touch them. They were warm, gratified to find them warm in the midst of so much cold and wet. I became curiously absorbed in them as an eddy of wind stirred the strands of Down. When one fledgling moved uneasily, shifting his soft ball, I was quite excited, but he nestled down again with his head close to his brothers. In my heart of hearts, I longed for someone to nestle against, someone who would come between me and the coldness and wetness of the surroundings. I envied the two little miracles exposed to any tread, yet so serene. It seemed as if I were always wandering, looking
Starting point is 08:36:21 for something which they had found even before the light broke into their shell. I was cold. The lilacs in the mill garden looked blue and perished. I ran with my heavy clogs and my heart heavy with vague longing down to the mill, while the wind blanched the sycamores and pushed the sullen pines rudely, for the pines were sulking because their million creamy sprites could not fly, wet-winged. The horse chestnuts bravely kept their white candles erect in the socket of every bow, though no sun came to light them. Durely, a cold swan swept up the water, trading its black feet, clacking its great hollow wings, rocking the frightened waterhens and insulting the staid blacknecked geese.
Starting point is 08:37:08 What did I want that I turned thus from one thing to another? At the end of June the weather became fine again. Hay harvest was to begin as soon as it settled. There were only two fields to be maimed this year to provide just enough stuff to last until the spring. As my vacation had begun, I decided I would help and that we three, the father, George and I, would get in the hay without hard existence.
Starting point is 08:37:37 I rose the first morning very early before the sun was well up. The clear sound of challenging cocks could be heard along the valley. In the bottoms, over the water and over the lush, wet grass, the night mist still stood, white and substantial. As I passed along the edge of the meadow, the cow-pastnip was as tall as I, frothing up to the top of the hedge, putting the faded hawthorn to a wan blush.
Starting point is 08:38:03 Little early birds, I have not heard the lark, fluttered in and out of the foamy meadow sea, plunging under the surface of flowers washed high in one corner, swinging out again, dashing past the crimson sorrel crescent. Under the froth of flowers were the purple vetch clumps, yellow milk vetches, and the scattered pink of the wood betoni, and the floating stars of marguerites. There was a weight of honeysuckle on the hedges where pink roses were waking up for their broad-spread flight through the day. Morning silvered the swaths of the far meadow and swept in smooth, brilliant curves round the stones of the brook. Morning ran in my veins. Morning chased the silver darting fish
Starting point is 08:38:47 out of the depth, and I, who saw them, snapped my fingers of them, driving them back. I heard a trip barking, so I ran towards the pond. The punt was at the island, where from behind the bushes I could hear George whistling. I called to him and he came to the water's edge, half-dressed. "'Ach' a towel, he called, and come on!' I was back in a few moments, and theirs took my care on, fluttering in the cool air. One good push sent us to the eyelid. I made haste to undress for he was ready for the water, tripped dancing round, barking with excitement at his new appearance. "'He wonders what's happened to me,' he said, laughing, pushing the dog playfully away with his barefoot. Tripp bounded back and came leaping up, licking him with little caressing licks.
Starting point is 08:39:36 He began to play with the dog, and directly they were rolling on the fine turf, the laughing, expostulating, naked man, and the excited dog, who thrust his great head onto the man's face, licking, and when flung away, rushed forward again, snapping playfully of the naked arms and breasts. At last, George lay back, laughing and panting, holding Tripp by the two forefeet which were planted on his breast, while the dog, also panting, reached forward his head for a flickering lick of the throat
Starting point is 08:40:04 pressed back on the grass and the mouth thrown back out of reach. When the man had thus lain still for a few moments and the dog was just laying his head against his master's neck to rest too, I called, and George jumped up
Starting point is 08:40:18 and plunged into the pond with me, trip after us. The water was icily cold and for a moment deprived me of my senses. When I began to swim, soon the water was buoyant, and I was sensible of nothing but the vigorous poetry of action. I saw George swimming on his back laughing at me, and in an instant I had flung myself like an impasse after him.
Starting point is 08:40:43 The laughing face vanished as he swung over and fled, and I pursued the dark head and the ruddy neck. Trip, the wretch, came paddling towards me, interrupting me. Then, all bewildered with excitement, he scudded to the bank. I chuckled to myself as I saw him run along, then plunge in and go plodding to George. I was gaining. He tried to drive off the dog and I gained rapidly. As I came up to him and caught him with my hand on his shoulder, there came a laughter from the bank. It was Emily. I trod the water and threw handfuls of spray at her. She laughed and blushed. Then Tripp waded out to her, and she fled swiftly from his shower bath. George was floating just beside me, looking up and laughing.
Starting point is 08:41:30 We stood and looked at each other as we rubbed ourselves dry. He was well-proportioned, and naturally of handsome physique, heavily limned. He laughed at me, telling me I was like one of Aubrey birds and his long, lean, ugly fellows. I referred him to many classic examples of slenderness, declaring myself more exquisite than his grossness, which amused him. But I had to give him and bow to him. and he took on an indulgent gentle manner i laughed and submitted for he knew how i admire the noble white fruitfulness of his form as i watched him he stood in white relief against the mass of green he polished his arm holding it out straight and solid he rubbed his hair into curls while i watched the deep muscles of his shoulders and the band stand out in his neck as he held it firm i remember the story of animal he saw i had forgotten to continue my rubbing and laughing he took hold of me and began to rub me briskly as if i were a child or rather a woman he loved and did not fear
Starting point is 08:42:39 i left myself quite limply in his hands and to get a better grip of me he put his arm round me and pressed me against him and the sweetness of the touch of our naked bodies one against the other was superb it satisfied in some measure the vague indecipherable yearning of my soul and it was the same with him when he had rubbed me all warm he let me go and we looked at each other with eyes of still laughter and our love was perfect for a moment more perfect than any love i have known since either for man or woman we went together down to the fields he to mow the island of grass he had left standing the previous evening i to sharpen the machine knife to mow out the hedge bottoms with the scythe and to rake the swathes from the way of the machine when the unmoan grass was reduced to a triangle. The cool, moist fragrance of the morning, the intentional stillness of everything, of the tall bluish trees, of the wet flowers, of the trustful moths folded and unfolded in the fallen swathes, was a perfect medium of sympathy. The horses moved with a still dignity obeying his commands. When they were harnessed and the machine oiled, still he was loathed to mar the perfect morning, but stood looking down the valley. I shan't mow these fields any more, he said, and the fallen silver swathes flickered back his regret and the faint scent of the limes was wistful.
Starting point is 08:44:15 So much of the field was cut, so much remained to cut. Then it was ended. This year the elder flowers were wide spread over the corner bushes, and the pink roses fluttered high above the hedge. There were the same flowers on the grass as we had known many years. We should not know them any more, but merely to have moaned them is worth having lived for, he said, looking at me. We felt the warmth of the sun trickling through the morning's mist of coolness. You see that sycamore, he said, that bushy one beyond the big willow. I remember when father broke off the leading chute because he wanted a fine straight stick. I can
Starting point is 08:44:57 remember I felt sorry. It was running up so straight with such a fine balance of leaves. You know how a young, strong sycamore looks about nine feet high. It seemed a cruelty. When you were gone and we are left from here, I shall feel like that, as if my leading chute were broken off. You see, the tree is spoiled. Yet high it went on growing. I believe I shall grow faster. I can remember the bright red stalks of the leaves as he broke them off. from the bow. He smiled at me, half proud of his speech. Then he swung into the seat of the machine, having attended to the horse's heads. He lifted the knife. Goodbye, he said, smiling whimsically back at me. The machine started. The bed of the knife
Starting point is 08:45:47 fell and the grass shivered and dropped over. I watched the heads of the daisies and the splendid lines of the cocksful grass quiver, shake against the crimson burn it, and drop over. the machine went singing down the field leaving a track of smooth velvet green in the way of the swathboard the flowers in the wall of uncut grass waited unmoved as the days wait for us the sun caught in the uplicking scarlet sorrel flames the butterflies woke and i could hear the fine ring of his wah from the far corner then he turned and i could see only the tossing ears of the horses and the white of his shoulder as they moved along the wawar from the far corner then he turned and i could see only the tossing ears of the horses and the white of his shoulder as they moved along the wall of high grass on the hill slope. I sat down under the elm to file the sections of the knife. Always, as he rode, he watched the falling swath, only occasionally calling the horses into line. It was his voice which rang the morning awake. When we were at work, we hardly noticed one another. Yet his mother had said, George is so glad when you're in the field. He doesn't
Starting point is 08:46:54 care how long the day is. Later, when the morning was hot and the honeysuckle had ceased to to breathe, and all the other scents were moving in in the air about us, and all the field was down, when I'd seen the last trembling ecstasy of the hail-bells trembling to fall. When the thick clump of purple vetch had sunk, when the green sways were settling and the silver sways were glistening and glittering as the sun came along them in the hot ripe morning, we worked together, turning the hay, tipping over the yesterday's swathes with our forks, and bringing yesterday's fresh, hidden flowers into the death of sunlight. It was then that we talked to the past and speculated on the future.
Starting point is 08:47:36 As the day grew older and less wistful, we forgot everything and worked on, singing, and sometimes I would recite him verses as we went, and sometimes I would tell him about books. Life was full of glamour for us both. End of Part 2, Chapter 8. Part 2, Chapter 9 of The White Peacock by DeAidot Lawrence. this Libravox recording is in the public domain.
Starting point is 08:48:13 Recording by Simon Evers. Part 2, Chapter 9, Pastrals and Piannis At dinner time, the father announced to us the exciting fact that Leslie had asked if a few of his guests might picnic that afternoon in the Strelie hayfields. The closest was so beautiful, with the brook under all its sheltering trees, running into the pond that was set with two green eyelids. Moreover, the squire's lady had written a book filling those meadows and the mill precincts with popery romance. The wedding guests at High Close were anxious to picnic in so choice a spot.
Starting point is 08:48:52 The father, who delighted in a gay throng, beamed at us from over the table. George asked who were coming. Oh, not many, about half a dozen. Mostly ladies down for the wedding. George at first swore warmly. Then he began to appreciate the affair as a joke. Mrs. Saxton hoped they wouldn't want her to provide them pots, for she hadn't two cups that matched,
Starting point is 08:49:18 nor had any of her spoons the least pretence to silver. The children were hugely excited and wanted a holiday from school, which Emily at once vetoed firmly, thereby causing family dissension. As we went round the field in the afternoon, turning the hay, we were thinking apart and did not talk. Every now and then, and at every corner, we stopped to look down towards the wood to see if they were coming. Here they are, George exclaimed suddenly,
Starting point is 08:49:47 have expired the movement of white in the dark wood. We stood still and watched. Two girls, heliotrope and white, a man with two girls, pale green and white, and a man with a girl last. Can you tell who they are? I asked. "'That's Marie Tempest, that first girl in white,
Starting point is 08:50:06 "'and that's him and let it the back. "'I don't know any more.' "'He stood perfectly still "'until they had gone out of sight "'behind the banks down by the brooks. "'Then he stuck his fork in the ground, saying, "'You can easily finish, if you like. "'I'll go and mow out that bottom corner.'
Starting point is 08:50:23 "'He danced at me to see what I was thinking of him. "'I was thinking that he was afraid to meet her, "'and I was smiling to myself. "'Perhaps he felt a sure. shamed, for he went silently away to the machine where he belted his riding-breeches tightly around his waist and slung the scythe strap on his hip. I heard the clanging slur of the scythstone as he wetted the blade. Then he strode off to mow the far-bottom corner where the ground was marshy and the machine might not go, to bring down the lush green grass and the tall meadow-sweet.
Starting point is 08:50:56 I went to the pond to meet the newcomers. I bowed to Louis Dennis, a tall, a tall, graceful. girl of the drooping type, elaborately gowned in heliotrope linen. I bowed to Agnes Darcy, an erect, intelligent girl with magnificent auburn hair. She wore no hat and carried a sunshade. I bowed to Hilda Second, a svelte, petite girl, exquisitely and delicately pretty. I bowed to Maria and to Lettie, and I shook hands with Leslie and with his friend, Freddy Cresswell. The latter was to be best man, a broad-shouldered, pale-faced fellow with beautiful soft hair like red wheat and laughing eyes and a whimsical, drawing man or a speech, like a man who
Starting point is 08:51:38 has suffered enough to bring him to manhood of maturity, but who in spite of all remains a boy, irresponsible, lovable, and trifle pathetic. As the day was very hot, both men were in flannels and wore flannel collars, yet it was evident that they had dressed with scrupulous care. Instinctively I tried to pull my trousers into shape within my belt, and I felt the inferiority cast upon the father, big and fine as he was in his way, for his shoulders were rounded with work, and his trousers were much distorted. "'What can we do?' I said Marie. "'You know we don't want to hinder.
Starting point is 08:52:14 We want to help you. It's so good of you to let us come.' The father laughed his fine indulgence, saying to them, they loved him for the mellow, laughing modulation of his voice. "'Come on, then. I see there's a bit of turning over to do, as Cyril's left. come and pick your forks. From among a sheaf of hay forks, he chose the lightest for them, and they began anywhere, just tipping at the swathes.
Starting point is 08:52:39 He showed them carefully, Marie and the charming little Hilda, just how to do it, but they found the right way the hardest way, so they worked in their own fashion and laughed heartily with him when he made playful jokes of them. He was a great lover of girls, and they blossomed from timidity under his hearty influence. Made it flipping hot, drawled Cresswell, who had just taken his MA degree in classics. This blooming stuff's dry enough. Come and flop on it. He gathered a cushion of hay, which Louis Dennis carefully appropriated, arranging first her beautiful dress that fitted close to her shape, without any belt or interruption, and then laying her arms that were netted to the shoulder in open lace grace gracefully at rest. Letty, who was also in a close-fitting white dress, which showed her shape,
Starting point is 08:53:26 down to the hips sat where Leslie had prepared for her, and Miss Darcy reluctantly accepted my pile. Cresswell twisted his clean-cut mouth in a little smile, saying, Lord, a giddy little pastoral, fit for old Theocretus, ain't it, Miss Dennis? Why do you talk to me about those classic people, I don't even say their names? What would he say about us? He laughed, winking his blue eyes. He'd make old Daphnis there, pointed to Leslie, saying a match with me, Dehematus, contesting the merits of our various shepherdess. Begin Daphne's sing up for Amarilis, I mean Neus, damnem. They were forever getting mixed up with their nymphs.
Starting point is 08:54:07 I say, Mr. Criswell, your language. Consider whom you're damning, said Miss Dennis, leaning over and tapping his head with her silk glove. You say any giddy thing in a pastoral, he replied, taking edge of her skirt and lying back on it, looking up at her as she leaned over him. strike up daffness something about honey or white cheese or else the early apples that'll be ripe in a week's time i'm sure the apples you showed me are ever so little and green interrupted miss dennis they will never be ripe in a week he smiled up with her in his whimsical way hear that tempest ugh sire not much oh lovers haven't you got a start yet isn't there aught to sing about you blood-faced kid i'll hear you first i'm no judge of honey and cheese ha darn little apples takes a woman to judge em don't it miss dennis i don't know she said stroking his soft hair from his forehead with her hand whereon rings were sparkling my love is not white my hair is not yellow like honey dripping through the sunlight my love is brown and sweet and ready for the lips of love come on tempest strike up old carherd who's that tuning his
Starting point is 08:55:22 pipe. Oh, that fellow sharpening his scythe, son of hath to make your back-ache to look at him working. Go and stop him somebody. Yes, let's and fetch him, said Miss Darcy. I'm sure he doesn't know what a happy pastoral state he's in. Let us go and fetch him. They don't like hindering at their work, Agnes. Besides, where ignorance is bliss, said Lettie, afraid lest she might bring him. The other hesitated. Then with her eyes she invited me to go with her. Oh dear, she laughed with a little moo. Freddy is such an ass, and Louis Dennis is like a wasp at treacle. I wanted to laugh, yet I felt just a tiny bit cross.
Starting point is 08:56:03 Don't you feel great when you go mowing like that? Father timey sort of thing? Should we go and look? We'll say we want those fox laughs who have been cutting down directly, and those bell-flowers. I suppose you needn't go on with your labours. He did not know we were approaching till I called him. Then he started slightly.
Starting point is 08:56:21 as he saw the tall proud girl mr saxton miss darcy i said and he shook hands with her immediately his manner became ironic for he had seen his hand big and coarse and inflamed with the snaith clasping the lady's hand we thought you look so fine she said to him a men are so embarrassing when they make love to somebody else aren't they save us those fox-clubs will you they are splendid like savage soldiers drawn up against the hedge don't come them down. Oh, and there's Capadoulas, bell-flowers. Oh, yes, they are spinning idles up there. I don't care for idles, do you? Oh, you don't know what a classical, pastoral person you are. But there, I don't suppose you suffer from idyllic love. She laughed. One doesn't see the silly little god fluttering about in our hayfields, does one? Do you find much time to sport with Amarilis in the shade? I'm sure it's a shame they banished Phyllis from the fields. She laughed and went on with his work.
Starting point is 08:57:22 She smiled a little, too, thinking she had made a great impression. She put out her hand with a dramatic gesture and looked at me, and the scythe crunched through the meadow-sweet. Crunch, isn't it fine, she exclaimed, a kind of inevitable fate. I think it's fine. We wondered about picking flowers and talking till tea-time. A man-servant came with a tea-basket, and the girls spread the cloth under a great white.
Starting point is 08:57:47 willow tree. Letty took the little silver kettle and went to fill it at the small spring which trickled into a stone trough all pretty with Cranesbill and Stellaria hanging over, while long blades of grass waved in the water. George, who had finished his work and wanted to go home to tea, walked across to the spring where Lettie sat playing with the water, getting little cupfuls to put into the kettle, watching the quick skating of the water beetles and the large, faint spots of their shadows darting on the silted mud at the bottom of the trough. She glanced round on hearing him coming and smiled nervously. They were mutually afraid of meeting each other again. It's about tea time, he said. Yes, it will be ready in a moment. This is not to make the tea
Starting point is 08:58:34 with, it's only to keep a little supply of hot water. Oh, he said, I'll go on home, I'd rather. No, she replied, you can't, because we are all having tea together. I had some fruit to put up, because I know you don't trifle with tea and your father's coming." But, he replied pettiously, I can't have my tea with all those folks, I don't want to. Look at me. He held out his inflamed, barbaric hands. He winced and said, It won't matter, you'll give the realistic touch. He laughed ironically.
Starting point is 08:59:08 No, you must come, she insisted. I'll have a drink then, if you'll let me, he said Yuley. she got up quickly blushing offering the tiny pretty cup i'm awfully sorry she said no mind he muttered and turning from the proffered he lay down flat put his mouth to the water and drank deeply she stood and watched the motion of his drinking and of his heavy breathing afterwards he got up wiping his mouth not looking at her then he washed his hands in the water and stirred up the mud he put his hands to the bottom and he put his hands to the bottom of the trough, bringing out a handful of silt with the grey shrimps twisting in it. He flung the mud on the floor where the poor grey creatures writhed. "'Want's cleaning out,' he said. "'Yes,' she replied shuddering.
Starting point is 08:59:59 "'You won't be long,' she added, taking up the silver kettle. In a few moments he got up and followed her reluctantly down. He was nervous and irritable. The girls were seated on tufts of hay, with the men leaning in attendance on them, and the manservant waiting on all. George was placed between Lettie and Hilda. The former handed him his little egg-shell of tea, which, as he was not very thirsty,
Starting point is 09:00:26 he put down on the ground beside him. Then she passed him with a bread and butter, cut for five o'clock tea, and fruits, grapes and peaches and strawberries, and a beautifully carved oak tray. She watched for a moment his thick, half-washed fingers fumbling over the fruits, then she turned her head away.
Starting point is 09:00:45 all the gay tea-time when the talk bubbled and frothed over all the cups she avoided him with her eyes yet again and again as someone said i'm sorry mr saxon will you have some cake or see mr saxon try this peach i'm sure it would be meadow right to the stone speaking very naturally but making the distinction between him and the other men by their indulgent towards him letty was forced to glance at him as he sat eating answering in monosyllables laughing with constraint and awkwardness and her irritation flickered between her brows although she kept up the gay frivolity of the conversation still the discord was felt by everybody and we did not linger as we should have done over the cups fj they said afterwards was a wet blanket on the party letty was intensely annoyed with him his presence was unbearable to her she wished him a thousand miles away he sat listening to crestwell's whimsical affectation of lulcarody which flickered with fantasy and he laughed in a strained fashion he was the first to rise saying he must get the cows up for milking oh let us go let us go maybe come and see the cows milked said hilda her delicate exquisite features flushing for she was very shy no drawled freddie the stink alive beef ain't salubrious you be warned and stop here i never could bear cows except those lovely little highland cattle all woolly in pitchers said louis denis smiling archly of a little irony no laughed agnes darcy they're smelly and she pursed up her mouth and ended in a little trill of deprecatory laughed her, as she often did. Hilda looked from one to the other, blushing.
Starting point is 09:02:38 "'Come, letty,' said Leslie good-naturedly. "'I know you have a farmyard fondness. Come on!' And they followed George down. As they passed along the pond bank, a swan and her tawny, fluffy broods sailed with them the length of the water. Tipping on their little toes, the darlings, pit-a-patter through the water, tiny little things, as Marie said. You heard George below, calling,
Starting point is 09:03:02 bully bully bully bully and then a moment or two after in the bottom garden come out you little fool are you coming out of it in manifestly angry tones has it run away laughed hilda delighted and we hastened out of the lower garden to see there in the green shade between the tall busbury bushes the heavy crimson peonies stood gaudously along the path the full red lobes poised and leaning voluptuously sank their crimson weight on the of the seeding grass of the path, borne down by secret rain and by their own splendour. The path was poured over with red, rich silk of strewn petals. The great flowers swung their crimson, groundly about the walk, like crowds of cardinals in pomp among the green bushes. We burst into the new world of delight. As Lettie stooped, taking between both hands the gorgeous silken fullness of one blossom that was sunk to the earth. George came down the part. with the brown bull-calf straggling behind him its neck stuck out sucking zealously at his middle finger the unconscious attitudes of the girls all bent in raptured over the pianist touched him with sudden pain as he came up with the calf stalking grudgetly behind he said
Starting point is 09:04:21 there's a fine show of pique knox this year isn't there what do you call them cried hilda turning to him her sweet charming face full of interest p e knox he replied letty remained crouching with a red flower between her hands glancing sideways unseen to look at the calf which with its shiny nose uplifted was mumbling in its sticky gums of the seductive finger it sucked eagerly but unprofitably and it appeared to cast a troubled eye inward to see if it were really receiving any satisfaction doubting but not despairing marie and hilda and leslie laughed while he after looking at letty as she crouched whistler and wistice wistfully as he thought over the flower, led the little brute out of the garden, and sent it running into the yard with a smack on the haunch. Then he returned, rubbing his sticky finger dry against his breeches. He stood near to Lettie, and she felt, rather than saw, extraordinary pale cleanness of the one finger among the others. She rubbed her finger against her dress in painful sympathy.
Starting point is 09:05:25 "'But aren't the flowers lovely?' exclaimed Maria again. "'I want to hug them.' oh yes assented hilda they are like a romance denuncio a romance in passionate sadness said letty in an ironical voice speaking half out of conventional necessity of saying something half out of desire to shield herself and yet in a measure express herself there is a tale about them i said the girls clamoured for the legend pray do tell us peter the irresistible it was emily told me she says it's a legend but i believe it's only a tale she says the pianies were brought from the hall long since by a fero of this place when it was a mill he was brown and strong and the daughter of the hall who was pale and fragile and young loved him when he went up to the hall gardens to cut the yew hedges she would hover round him in her one white frock and tell him tales of old days in little snatches like a wren singing, till he thought she was a fairy who had bewitched him. He would stand and watch her, and one day when she came near to him telling him a tale that set the tears swimming in her eyes, he took hold of her and kissed her and kept her. They used to trist in the poplar-spinny. She would come with her arms
Starting point is 09:06:41 full of flowers, for she always kept to her fairy part. One morning she came early through the mists. He was out shooting. She wanted to take him unawares like a fairy. Her arms were full of peonies. When she was moving beyond the trees, he shot her, not knowing. She stumbled on and sank down in their trist place. He found her lying there among the red Pinox, white and fallen. He thought she was just lying, talking to the red flowers, so he stood waiting. Then he went up and bent over her and found the flowers full of blood. He set the garden here with these pianocks. The eyes of the girls were round with the pity of the tail and Hilda turned away to hide her tears.
Starting point is 09:07:29 It is a beautiful ending, said Lettie, in a low tone, looking at the floor. It's all a tale, said Leslie, soothing the girls. George waited till Lettie looked at him. She lifted her eyes to him at last, then each turned aside, trembling. asked for some of the pianies. Give me just a few, and I can tell the others a story. It is so sad. I feel so sorry for him.
Starting point is 09:07:56 It was so cruel for him. And Lettie says it ends beautifully. George cut the flowers with his great clasp knife, and Marie took them carefully, treating their romance with great tenderness. Then all went out of the garden, and he turned to the cow shed. Goodbye for the present, said Lettie,
Starting point is 09:08:17 afraid to stay. near him. And good-bye, he laughed. Thank you so much for the flowers, and the story. It was splendid, said, but so sad. Then they went, and we did not see them again. Later, when all had gone to bed at the mill, George and I sat together on opposite sides of the fire, smoking, saying little. He was casting up the total of discrepancies, and now and again he ejaculated one of his thoughts. and all day he said blentch has been ploughing his wheat in because it was that bitten off by the rabbits it was no manner of use so he ploughed it in and they say with iddles eating peaches in our close then there was silence while the clock throbbed heavily and outside a wild bird called and was still softly the ashes rustled lower in the grate he said it ended well but what's the good of death what's the good of that he turned his face to the ashes in the grate and sat brooding outside among the trees some wild animal set up a thin wailing cry
Starting point is 09:09:29 damn that row said i stirring looking also into the grey fire it's some stoat or weasel or something it's been going on like that for nearly a week i've shot in the trees ever so many times there were two once gone continuously through the heavy chilling silence came the miserable crying from the darkness among the trees you know he said she hated me this afternoon and i hated her it was midnight full of sick thoughts it is no good said i go to bed it'll be morning in a few hours end of part two chapter nine part three chapter one of the white peacock by d h lawrence this libidvox recording is in the public domain recording by simon others part three chapter one a new start in life letty was wedded as i had said before leslie lost all the wistful traces of his illness they had been gone away to france five days before we recovered anything like the normal tone in the house then though the routine was the same everywhere was a sense of loss and of change the long voyage in the quiet home was over. We had crossed the bright sea of our youth, and already Lettie had landed and was travelling to a strange destination in a foreign land. It was time for us all to go, to leave the Valley of Nethermere, whose waters and whose woods were distilled in the essence of our veins. We were the children of the Valley of Nethermere, a small nation with language and blood of our own, and to cast ourselves each one into separate exile, was painful to us. i shall have to go now said george it is my nature to linger an unconquerable time yet i dread above all things this slow crumbling away from my foundations by which i free myself at last i must wrench myself away now
Starting point is 09:11:40 it was the slack time between the hay and the corn harvest and we sat together in the gray still morning of august pulling the stack my hands were sore with tugging the loose wisps from the lower part of the stack so i waited for the touch of rain to send us indoors it came at last and we hurried into the barn we climbed the ladder into the loft that was strewn with farming implements and with carpenter's tools we sat together on the shavings that littered the bench before the high gable window and looked out over the brooks and the woods and the ponds. Treetops were very near to us, and we felt ourselves the centre of the waters and the woods that spread down the rainy valley. In a few years, I said, we should be almost strangers. He looked at me with fond, dark eyes and smiled incredulously.
Starting point is 09:12:33 It is as far, said I, to the ram, as it is for me to London, farther. Don't you want me to go there? he asked, smiling quietly. "'Tall as one way you go, you will travel north and I east and letty south. Lettie has departed. In seven weeks I go. And you?' "'I must be gone before you,' he said decisively.
Starting point is 09:12:58 "'Do you know,' and he smiled timidly in confession. "'I feel alarmed at the idea of being left alone on a loose end. I must not be the last to leave,' he added, almost appealingly. "'And you will go to Meg?' I asked. He sat tearing the silken shavings into shreds, and telling me in clumsy fragments all he could of his feelings. You see, it's not so much what you call love. I don't know.
Starting point is 09:13:25 You see, I built on Lettie. He looked up at me, Shane facedly, then continued tearing the shavings. You must find your castle on something, and I founded mine on Lettie. You see, I'm like plenty of. folks, I have nothing definite to shape my life too. I put brick upon brick as they come, and if the hole topples down in the end, it does. But you see, you and Lettie have made be conscious, and now I'm at a dead loss. I've looked to marriage to set me busy on my house of life, something whole and complete, of which it will supply the design. I must marry,
Starting point is 09:14:03 or be in a lost lane. There are two people I could marry, and Lettie's gone. i love meg just as well as far as love goes i'm not sure i don't feel better pleased at the idea of marrying her you know i should always have been second subtlety and the best part of love is being made much of being first and foremost in the whole world for somebody and meg's easy and lovely i can have her without trembling she's full of soothing and comfort i can stroke her hair and pet her and she looks up at me full of trust and lovingness, and there is no flaw, all restfulness in one another. Three weeks later, as I lay in the August sunshine in a deck-chair on the lawn, I heard the sound of wheels along the gravel path. It was George, calling for me to accompany him to his marriage. He pulled up the dog cart near the door and came up the steps to me on the lawn.
Starting point is 09:15:04 He was dressed as if for the cattle market in jacket and breeches and gaiters. Well, are you ready? he said. standing smiling down on me. His eyes were dark with excitement, and had that vulnerable look which was so peculiar to the Saxons in their emotional moments. "'You're in good time,' said I. "'It is but half-past nine.' "'It wouldn't do to be late on a day like this,' he said gaily. "'See how the sun shines. "'Come, you don't look as brisk as a best man should. I thought you would have been on tenterhooks of excitement. Get up! Get up! Look here. A bird has given me luck.'
Starting point is 09:15:41 He showed me a white smear on his shoulder. I drew myself up lazily. All right, I said, but we must drink a whiskey to establish it. He followed me out of the fragrant sunshine into the dark house. The rooms were very still and empty, but the cool silence responded at once to the gaiety of our sun-warm entrance. The sweetness of the summer morning hung invisible like glad ghosts of romance through the shadowy room.
Starting point is 09:16:10 We seemed to feel the sun. sunlight dancing golden in our veins as we filled again the Peel liqueur. Joy to you, I envy you today. His teeth were white and his eyes stirred like dark liquor as he smiled. Here is my wedding present. I stood the four large watercolours along the wall before him. They were drawings among the waters and the fields of the mill, grey rain and twilight, morning with the sun pouring gold into the mist,
Starting point is 09:16:39 and the suspense of a midsummer noon upon the pond. All the glamour of our yesterdays came over him like an intoxicant, and he quivered with the wonderful beauty of life that was weaving him into the large magic of the years. He realised the splendour of the pageant of days which had him in train. It's been wonderful, Cyril, all the time, he said with surprised joy. We drove away through the freshness of the wood and among the flowing of the sunshine along the road.
Starting point is 09:17:14 The cottages of Greymead filled the shadows with colour of roses and the sunlight with odour of pinks and the blue of cornflowers and larkspur. We drove briskly up the long sleeping hill and bowled down the hollow past the farms where the hens were walking with the red-gold cocks in the orchard and the ducks like white cloudlets under the aspen trees revelled on the pond. I told her to be ready any time, said George,
Starting point is 09:17:40 but she doesn't know it's today. i didn't want the public-house full of the business the mayor walked up the sharp little rise on top of which stood the ram inn in the quiet as the horse slowed to a standstill we heard the crooning of a song in the garden we sat still in the cart and looked across the flagged yard to where the tall madonna lilies rose in clusters out of the aliceum beyond the border of flowers was meg bending over the gooseberry bushes she saw us and came swinging down the path with the boehsha of gooseberries poised on her hip she was dressed in a plain fresh holland frock with a white apron her black heavy hair reflected the sunlight and her ripe face was luxuriant with laughter well i never she exclaimed try not to show that she guessed his errand fancy you here at this time of morning her eyes delightful black eyes like polished jet untroubled and frank looked at us as a robin might with bright questioning her eyes were so different from the saxton's darker but never still and full never hesitating dreading a wound never dilating with hurt or with timid ecstasy are you ready then he asked smiling down on her what she asked in confusion to come to the registrar with me i've got the licence well i'm just going to make the pudding she cried in full expostulation let them make it themselves put your hat on but look at me i've just been getting the goose-bris look she showed us the berries and the scratches on her arms and hands what a shame he said bending down to stroke her hand and her arm
Starting point is 09:19:25 she drew back smiling flushing with joy i could smell the white lids where i sat but you don't mean it do you she said lifted to him her face that was round and glossy like a black heart cherry for answer he unfolded the marriage licence she read it and turned aside her face in confusion saying well i've got to get ready should you come and tell grandma is there any need he answered reluctantly yes you come and tell her persuaded meg he got down from the trap i preferred to stay out of doors presently meg ran out with a glass of beer for me we shan't be many minutes she apologised i've wanted to slip another frock on i heard george go heavily up the stairs and enter the room over the bar-parlour where the grandmother lay bedridden what hit thou me lad what are they doing here this morning she asked well and how does t'feel by now he said eh sadly lad sadly had not be long afore the academy down stairs head first. Nay, don't know thee say so. I'm just off to Nottingham. I want Meg to come. What for? cried the old woman sharply. I wanted her to get married, he replied. What? What does he say? And what about the license of the ring and everything? I've seen to that all right, he answered.
Starting point is 09:20:48 Well, the heart a nice turn I must say. What's one going on this picking-up fashion for? This is a nice shabby trick to serve a body. What does it mean by it? you know it as i were going to marry her directly so i can't see as it matters of the day i don't want it of the pub talking that mighty particular and all and all and why shouldn't the pub talk but not marrying a nigger as time should be so frightened i never put it on thee what's the odour of a sudden no hurry as i know of no worry replied the old lady with a withering sarcasm that whatever a no worry of thy life is not coming with thee this day though he laughed also sarcastic the old lady was angry she poured on him her abuse declaring she would not have meg in the house again nor leave her a penny if she married him that day like a please thysm said george also angry meg came hurriedly into the room take that out of take it off the long goes with him this day not if i know it does he think thou'r a cow or a pig to be fetched whenever he thinks fit take that out of say the old woman was fierce and peremptory poor grandma began meg the big crept as the old lady tried to rise take that out of before i put it off she cried oh be still grandma you'll be hurting yourself you know you will are you coming meg said george suddenly she is not cried the old woman are you coming meg repeated george in a passion meg began to cry she looked at him through her tears
Starting point is 09:22:28 the next thing i heard was a cry from the old woman and the sound of staggering feet what did the rake of me if i gauze my wench the wednesday's house no more they hears that that does thyself know my lady don't avenge you deny me after this mcgale the old woman called louder and louder george appeared in the doorway holding mead by the arm she was crying in a little distress her hat with its large silk roses was slanting over her eyes she was dressed in white linen they mounted the the trap. I gave him the reins and scrambled up behind. The old woman heard us through the open window, and we listened to her calling as we drove away. Don't let me clap eyes on thee again, the ungrateful o see, thou ungrateful o see. I'll rue it me wench, thou rue it, and then don't come to me. We drove out of hearing. George sat with a shut mouth scouting. Meg wept a while to herself woefully. We were swinging at a good pace down the beaches of the churchyard which stood above the level of the road. Meg, having settled her hat, bent her head to the wind,
Starting point is 09:23:33 too much occupied with her attire to weep. We swung round the hollow by the bog end and rattled a short distance up the steep hill to Wotnall. Then the mare walked slowly. Meg, at leisure to collect herself, exclaimed plaintively, "'I've only got Wundlove!' She looked at the odd silk glove that lay in her lap, then peered about among her skirts. "'I must have left it in the bedroom,' she said piteously. He laughed, and his anger suddenly vanished. "'What does it matter? You'll do without, all right.' At the sound of his voice, she recollected, and her tears and her weeping returned.
Starting point is 09:24:15 "'Nay,' he said, "'don't fret about the old woman. "'She'll come round to-morrow, and if she doesn't, it's her look at. "'She's got body to attend to her.' "'What, she'll be that miserable?' "'Wept Meg. It's their own fault. At any rate, don't let it make you miserable.' He glanced to see if anyone were in sight. Then he put his arm round her waist and kissed her, saying softly, coasingly, "'She'll be all right to-morrow. We'll go and see her then, and she'll be glad enough to have us.
Starting point is 09:24:44 We'll give it to her then, poor old grandma. She can boss you about and me as well, tomorrow, as much as she likes. She views it are being tied to her bed. But today is ours, surely, isn't it? Today is ours. I'm not sorry, are you? But I've got no gloves, and I'm sure my air's a sight. I never thought she got a reached up like that.
Starting point is 09:25:06 Lord laughed, tickled. No, he said, she was in a temper. But we can get you some gloves directly we get to Nottingham. I haven't a farthing of money, she said. I've plenty, he laughed. oh and let's try this on they were married together as he tried on her wedding-ring and they talked softly he gentle and coaxing she rather plaintive the mare took her own way and meg's hat was disarranged once more by the sweeping elm-boughs the yellow corn was dipping and flowing in the fields like a cloth of gold pegged down at the corners under which the wind was heaving sometimes we passed cottages where the scarlet lilies rose like bonfires and the tall lark spur like bright blue leaping smoke sometimes we smelled the sunshine on the browning corn sometimes the fragrance of the shadow of leaves occasionally it was the dizzy scent of new haystacks then we rocked and jolted over the rough cobblestowns of small stars of snowed of snowed of leaves
Starting point is 09:26:02 then we rocked and jolted over the rough cobblestands of cinder hill and bounded forward again at the foot of the enormous pit hill smelling of sulphur inflamed with slow red fires in the daylight and crusted with ashes we reached the top of the rise and saw the city before us heaped high and dim upon the broad range of the hill i looked for the square tower of my old school and the sharp proud spire of st andrews over the city hung a dullness a thin dirty canopy against the blue sky we turned and swung down the slope between the last sullied cornfields towards bassford where the swollen gosometer stood like toadstills as we near the mouth of the street meg rose excitedly pulling george's arm crying oh look the poor little thing on the causeway stood two small boys lifting their faces and weeping to the heedless heavens while before Before them, upside down, lay a baby strapped to a shut-up baby-chair. The gimcrack carpet-seated thing had collapsed as the boys were dismounting the curb-stone with it. It had fallen backwards and they were unable to write it. There lay the infant, strapped head downwards to its silly cart, in imminent danger of suffocation.
Starting point is 09:27:19 Meg leaped out and dragged the child from the wretched chair. The two boys, drenched with tears, howled on. Meg crouched on the road, the baby on her knee, its tiny feet dangling against her skirt. She soothed the pitiful tear-wet mite. She hugged it to her and kissed it and hugged it and rocked it in an abandonment of pity. When at last the childish trio were silent, the boys shaken only by the last ebbing sobs, Meg calmed also from her frenzy of pity for the little thing. She murmured to it tenderly and wiped its wet little cheeks with her handkerchief,
Starting point is 09:27:53 soothing, kissing, fondling the bewildered might, smoothing the wet strands of brown hair under the scrap of cotton bonnet, twitching the inevitable baby cape into order. It was a pretty baby, with wisps of brown gold-silken hair and large blue eyes. Is it a girl? asked one of the boys. How old is she? I don't know, he answered awkwardly. We've had her about the three-week.
Starting point is 09:28:18 Why isn't she your sister? No, my mother keeps her. They'd be very reluctant to tell us anything. "'What little lamb?' cried Meg, in another access of pity, "'clasping the baby to her bosom with one hand, "'holding its winsome slippered feet in the other. "'She remained thus stunned through with acute pity, "'counching, folding herself over the might.
Starting point is 09:28:40 "'At last she raised her head and said, in a voice difficult with emotion, "'but you love her, don't you?' "'Yes, she's all right, but we have to mind her,' replied the boy in great confusion. "'Surely,' said Meg. "'Sure you don't look good to that.' "'Poor little thing. "'So little she is. "'Surely you don't grumble at minding her a bit.'
Starting point is 09:29:03 "'The boys would not answer. "'Oh, poor little lamb, poor little lamb!' "'M murmured Meg over the child, "'condembing with bitterness the boys "'and the whole world of men. "'I taught one of the lads how to fold "'and unfold the wretched chair. "'Meg, very reluctantly seated
Starting point is 09:29:21 "'the unfortunate baby therein, "'gently fastening her with the strap. "'Where's a dummy?' thus one of the boys in muffled self-conscious tones. The infant began to cry thinly. Meg crouched over it. The dummy was found in the gutter and wiped on the boy's coat, then plugged into the baby's mouth. Meg released the tiny clasping hand from over her finger and mounted the dog-cart, saying sternly to the boys, "'Mind you look after her, poor little baby with no mother. God's watching to see what you do to her, so you be careful, mind.' they stood lady's shamefaced george clicked to the bear and as we started threw coppers to the boys while we drove away i watched the little group diminished down the road such a shame she said and the tears were in her voice sweet little thing like that ay said george softly there's all sorts of things in towns
Starting point is 09:30:20 meg paid no attention to him but sat woman-like thinking of the forlorn baby and condemning the hard world he full of tenderness and protectiveness towards her having watched her with softening eyes felt a little bit rebuffed that she ignored him and sat alone in her fierce womanhood so he busied himself with the reins and the two sat each alone until meg was roused by the bustle of the town the mayor sidled past the electric cars nervously and jumped when a train traction engine came upon us. Meg, rather frightened, clung to George again. She was very glad when we had passed the cemetery with its white population of tombstones and drew up in a quiet street. But when we had dismounted and given the horse's head to a loafer, she became confused and bashful and timid to the last degree. E. took her on his arm. He took the whole charge of her, and, laughing, bore her away towards the steps of the office. she left herself entirely in his hands she was all confusion so he took the charge of her when after a short time they came out she began to chatter with blushful animation he was very quiet and seemed to be taking his breath
Starting point is 09:31:39 wasn't he a funny little man did i do it all proper i didn't know what i was doing i'm sure they were all laughing at me do you think they were oh just look at my frock what a sight what's what would they think? The baby had slightly soiled the front of her dress. George drove up the long hill into the town. As we came down between the shops on Mansfield Road, he recovered his spirits. Where are we going? Where are you taking us? asked Meg. We may as well make a day of it while we are here, he answered, smiling and flicking the mare. They both felt that they were launched forth on an adventure. He put up at the spread eagle, and we walked towards the marketplace for Meg's clubs.
Starting point is 09:32:20 when he had bought her these and a large lace scarf to give her a more clothed appearance he wanted dinner we'll go he said to an hotel his eyes dilated as he said it and she shrank away with delighted fear neither of them had ever been to an hotel he was really afraid she begged him to go to an eating-house to a cafe he was obdurate his one idea was to do the thing that he was half afraid to do his passion and it was almost intoxication was to dare to play with life he was afraid of the town he was afraid to venture into the foreign places of life and all was foreign save the valley of nethermere so he crossed the borders flauntingly and marched towards the heart of the unknown we went to the victoria hotel the most imposing he could think of and we had luncheon according to the menu they were like two children very much afraid yet delighting in the adventure he dared not however give the orders he dared not address anybody waiters or otherwise i did that for him and he watched me absorbing learning wondering that things were so easy and so delightful. I momented them injunctions across the table, and they blushed and laughed with each other nervously. It would be hard to say whether they enjoyed that dungeon.
Starting point is 09:33:46 I think Meg did not, even though she was with him. But of George, I'm doubtful. He suffered exquisitely from self-consciousness and nervous embarrassment, but he felt also the intoxication of the adventure. He felt as a man who has lived in a small island when he first sets foot on a vast continent. This was the first step into a new life, and he mused delightedly upon it over his brandy. Yet he was nervous. He could not get over the feeling that he was trespassing. Where should we go this afternoon? He asked. Several things were proposed, but Begg pleaded warmly for Colwick. Let's go on a steamer to Colwick Park. There'll be entertainment said this afternoon, a little bit
Starting point is 09:34:30 lovely. In a few moments we were on the top of the car swinging down to the Trent Bridges, it was dinner-time and crowds of people from shops and warehouses were hurrying in the sunshine along the pavements some blinds cast their shadows on the shop fronts and in the shade streamed the people dressed brightly for summer as our car stood in the great space at the market-place we could smell the mingled scent of fruit oranges and small apricots and pairs powered in vividly coloured sections on the stalls then away we sailed through the shadows of the dark streets and the open pools of sunshine the castle on its high rock stood in the dazzling dry sunlight the fountain stood shadowy in the green glimmer of the lime-trees that surrounded the almshouses there were many people at the trent we stood awhile on the bridge to watch the bright river swirling in a silent dance to the sea while the light pleasure-boats lay asleep along the banks we went on board the little paddle steamer and paid our sixpence return after much waiting we set off with great excitement for our mile-long voyage two banjos were tomming somewhere below and the passengers hummed and sang to their tunes a few boats dabbled on the water soon the river meadows with their high thorn hedges lay green on our right while the scarp of red rock rose on our left covered with the dark trees of summer we landed at colwick park it was early and few people were there dead glass ferry lamps were slung along the trees the grass in places was worn threadbare we walked through the avenues and small glades of the park till we came to the boundary where the racecourse stretched its level green its winding wet barriers running low into the distance
Starting point is 09:36:17 they sat in the shade for some time while i wandered about then many people began to arrive became noisy even rowdy we listened for some time to an open-air concert given by the the puros. It was rather vulgar and very tiresome. It took me back to cows, to Yarmouth. There were the same foolish, over-eyebrowed faces, the same perpetual jingle from an out-of-tube piano, the restless jigging to the songs, the same choruses, the same escapading. Meg was well pleased. The vulgarity passed by her. She laughed and sang the choruses half-audibly, daring, but not bold. She was immensely pleased. Oh, it's Ben's turn now. I like him. He's got such a wicked twinkle in his eye. Look at Joey trying to be funny. He can't to save his life. Doesn't he look soft?
Starting point is 09:37:11 She began to giggle in George's shoulder. He saw the funny side of things for the time and laughed with her. During tea, which we took on the green verandah of the degraded hall, she was constantly breaking forth into some chorus, and he would light up as she looked at him and sing with her Sotavoce. he was not embarrassed at colwick there he had on his best careless superior air he moved about with a certain scornfulness and ordered lobster for tea off-handedly this also was a new walk of life here he was not hesitating or tremulously strung he was patronizing both meg and he thoroughly enjoyed themselves when he got back into nottingham she entreated him not to go to the hotel as he had proposed and he readily yielded instead they went to the castle we stood on the high rock in the cool of the day and watched the sun sloping over the great river-flats where the menial town spread out and ended while the river and the meadows continued into the distance in the picture galleries there was a fine collection of arthur merville's paintings meg thought them very ridiculous i began to expound them but she was manifestly bald and he was half-hearted outside on the grounds was a military band playing meg longed to be there the townspeople were dancing on the grass she longed to join them but she could not dance so they sat a while looking on we were to go to the theatre in the evening a carl-roza company was giving carmen of the royal we went into the dress circle like giddy dukes as i said to him so that i could see his eyes dilate with adventure again as he laughed in the theatre among the people in evening dress he became once more childish and timorous he had always the air of one who does something forbidden and is charmed yet fearful like a trespassing child
Starting point is 09:39:14 he begun to trespass that day outside his own estates of nethermere carmen fascinated them both the gaudy careless southern life amazed them the bold freeway in which carmen played with life startled them with hints of freedom they stared on the stage fascinated between the acts they held each other's hands and looked full into each other's wide bright eyes and laughing with excitement talked about the opera the theatre surged and roared dimly like a hoarse shell then the music rose like a storm and swept and rattled at their feet on the stage the strange storm of life clashed in music towards tragedy and futile death the two were shaken with a tumult of wild feeling when it was all over they rose bewildered stunned she with tears in her eyes he with a strange wild beating of his heart they were both in a tumult of confused emotion their ears were full of the roaring passion of life and their eyes were blinded by a spray of tears and that strange quivering laughter which burns with real pain they hurried along the pavement to the spread eagle meg clinging to him running clasping her lace scarf over her white frock like a scared white butterfly shaken through the night we hardly spoke as the horse was being harnessed and the lamps lighted in the little smoke-room he drank several whiskeys cheese sipping out of his glass standing all the time ready to go he pushed into his pocket great pieces of bread and cheese to eat on the way home he seemed now to be thinking with much acuteness his few orders were given sharp and terse he hired an extra light rug in which to wrap meg and then we were ready
Starting point is 09:41:10 who drives said i he looked at me and smiled faintly you he answered meg like an impatient white flame stood waiting in the light of the lamps he covered her extinguished her in the dark rug end of part three chapter one part three chapter two of the white peacock by d h lawrence this librivox recording is in the public domain according by simon avers part three chapter two puffs of wind in the sail the year burst into glory to us forth out of the valley of nethermear the cherry trees have been gorgeous with heavy outreaching boughs of red and gold immense vegetable mammals of the valley of nethermear the cherry trees have been gorgeous with heavy outreaching boughs of red and gold immense vegetable mammals lay prostrate in the bottom garden, their great tentacles clutching the pond bank. Against the wall the globed crimson plums hung close together and dropped occasionally with the satisfying plunge into the rhubarb leaves. The crop of oats was very heavy. The stalks of corn were like strong reeds of bamboo. The heads of grains swept heavily over like tresses weighted with drops of gold. George spent his time between the mill and the ram.
Starting point is 09:42:41 the grandmother had received them with much grumbling but with real gladness meg was reinstalled and george slept of the ram he was extraordinarily bright almost gay the fact was that his new life interested and pleased him keenly he often talked to me about meg how quaint and naive she was how she amused him and delighted him he rejoiced in having a place of his own her home and a beautiful wife who adored him then the public-house was full of strangeness and interest no hour was ever dull if he wanted company he could go into the smoke-room if he wanted quiet he could sit with meg and she was such a treat so soft and warm and so musing he was always laughing at her quaint crude notions and at her queer little turns of speech she talked to him with a little language she sat on his knee and twisted his moustache finding small unreal faults with his features for the delight of dwelling upon them he was he said incredibly happy really he could not believe it mait was hath she was a treat then he would laugh thinking how indifferent he had been about taking her a little shadow might cross his eyes but he would laugh again and tell me one of his wife's funny little notions she was quite uneducated and such fun he said i looked at a missy sounded this note i remembered his crude superiority of early days which had angered emily so deeply i was in him something of the pring i did not like his amused indulgence of his wife at threshing day when i worked for the last time at the mill i noticed the new tendency in him the saxons had always kept up a certain proud reserve in former years the family had moved into the parlour on threshing day and an extra woman had been hired to wait on the men who came with the machine
Starting point is 09:44:37 this time george suggested let us have dinner with the men in the kitchen cyril they are a rum gang rather good sport mixing with them they've seen a bit of life and i like to hear them they're so blunt they had good studies though the farmer sat at the head of the table the seven men trooped in very sheepish and took their places they had not much to say at first they were a mixed set some rather small young and furtive-looking some unshapely and coarse with unpleasant eyes the eyelids slack there was one man whom we called the parrot because he had a hooked nose and put forward his head as he talked he had been a very large man but he was grey and bending at the shoulders his face was pale and fleshy and his eyes seemed dull sighted george patronised the men and they did not object he chafed them making a good deal of demonstration in giving them more beer he invited them to pass up their plates called the woman to bring more bread and altogether played mine host of a feast of beggars the parrot ate very slowly come dad said george you're not getting on not got many grinders well i've got's in the road it's all here terrogate from my hout i can manage with bear gums like a baby again second child today well we must all come to it george laughed the old man lifted his head and looked at him and said slowly you've got to a-o'er-the first afore that george laughed unperturbed evidently he was well used to the thrusts of the public-house i suppose you soon got over yours he said the old man raised himself and his eyes flickered into life he chewed slowly then said i'd married it
Starting point is 09:46:31 and paid for it. I broke a constable's jaw and paid for it. I deserted from the army and paid for that. I'd had a bullet through my cheek and endured at top of it all by I was your age.' "'Oh,' said George, with condescending interest, "'you've seen a bit of life, then.' They drew the old man out, and he told them in his slow, laconic fashion a few brutal stories. They laughed and chafed him. George seemed to have a thirst for tales of brutal experience. experience the raw gin of life. He drank it all in with reddish, enjoying the sensation. The dinner was ever. It was time to go out again to work. And how old are you, Dad? George asked. The parrot looked at him again with his heavy, tired,
Starting point is 09:47:18 ironic eyes and answered, If you'll be a bit of annoying, 64. It's a bit rough on you, isn't it? continued the young man, going round with a thrashing machine and sleeping outdoors. at that time of life. I'd have thought you'd have wanted a bit of comfort. How do you mean roof on me? A parrot replied slowly. Oh, I think you know what I mean, answered George easily. Don't know as I do, said the old slow parrot. Well, you haven't made exactly a good thing out of life, have you?
Starting point is 09:47:53 What do you mean by a good thing? I've had me life and I'm satisfied with it. Eyes or die with a full belly. "'Oh, so you've saved a bit?' "'No,' said the old man deliberately. "'I've spent as I've gone on, and I've had all I wish for. But I pity the angels, when the Lord sets me before them like a book to read. "'Eaven won't be in heaven just then.' "'You're a philosopher in your way,' laughed George.
Starting point is 09:48:21 "'And you,' replied the old man, "'toddling about your backyard, think yourself mighty wise, "'but your wisdom will go with your teeth.' you'll learn in time to say nothing the old man went out and began his work carrying the sacks of corn from the machine to the chamber there's a lot in the old parrot said george as you'll never tell i laughed he makes you feel as well as if you'd a lot to discover in life he continued looking thoughtfully over the dusty straw stack at the chuffing machine after the harvest was ended the father began to deplete his farm most of the stock was transferred to the ram. George was going to take over his father's milk business and was going to farm enough of the land attaching to the inn to support nine or ten cows. Until the spring however, Mr Sackson retained his own milk round and worked at improving the condition of the land ready
Starting point is 09:49:18 for the valuation. George, with three cows, started a little milk supply in the neighbourhood of the inn, prepared his land for the summer and helped in the public house. Emily was the first to depart finally from the mill. She went to a school in Nottingham, and shortly afterwards Molly, her younger sister, went to her. In October I moved to London. Letty and Leslie were settled in their home in Brentwood, Yorkshire. We all felt very keenly our exile from Nethermear, but as yet the bonds were not broken, only use could sever them. Christmas brought us all home again, hastening to greet each other. There was a slight change in everybody. Lettie was brighter, more imperious, and very gay. Emily was quiet, self-restrained, and looked happier. Leslie was
Starting point is 09:50:14 jollier and at the same time more subdued and earnest. George looked very healthy and happy, and sounded well pleased with himself. My mother, with her gaiety at our return, brought tears to our eyes. We dine one evening at high-close with the tempests. It was dull as usual, and we left before ten o'clock. Lettie had changed her shoes and put on a fine cloak of greenish-blue. We walked over the frost-bound road. The ice on Nethermear gleamed mysteriously in the moonlight, and uttered strange, half-audible whoops and yelps. The moon was very high in the sky, small and brilliant like a vial full of the pure white liquid of light. There was no sound in the night save the haunting movement of the ice,
Starting point is 09:51:00 and the clear tinkle of Lettie's laughter. On the drive leading to the wood, we saw someone approaching. The wild grass was grey on either side. The thorn trees stood with shaggy black beards sweeping down. The pine trees were erect like dark soldiers. The black shape of the man drew near, with a shadow running at his side. its feet. I recognised George, obscured as he was in his cap and his upturned collar. Letty was in front with her husband. As George was passing, she said in bright, clear tones,
Starting point is 09:51:34 "'A happy New Year to you!' He stopped, swung round, and laughed. "'I thought you wouldn't have known me,' he said. "'What, is it you, George?' cried Lettie in great surprise. "'Now, what a joke! How are you?' she put out her white hand from her draperies he took it and answered i am very well and you other meaningless the words were the tone was curiously friendly intimate informal as you see she replied laughing interested in his attitude but where are you going i am going home he answered in a voice that meant have you forgotten that i too are married oh of course cried letty you are now mine host of the ram you must tell me about it may i ask him to come home with us for an hour-mother it is new year's eve you know you've asked him already laughed mother will mrs saxon's pay you for so long asked letty of george meg oh she does not order my comings and goings does she not laughed letty she's very unwise train up a husband of the way he should go and in after life
Starting point is 09:52:45 i never could quit a text from end to end i am full of beginnings but as for a finish leslie my shoelace is untied shall i wait till i can put my foot on the fence leslie knelt down at her feet she shook the hood back from her head and her ornaments sparkled in the moonlight her face with its whiteness and its shadows was full of fascination and in their dark recesses her eyes thrilled george with hidden magic she smiled at him along her cheeks while her husband crouched before her then as the three walked along towards the wood she flung her draperies into loose eloquence and there was a glimpse of her bosom white with the moon she laughed and chattered and shook her silken stuffs sailing out a perfume exquisite on the frosted air when we reached the house letty dropped her draperies and rustled into the drawing-room there the lamp was low-lit shedding a yellow twilight from the window space letty stood between the far light and the dusky lamp glow tall and round the light and the dusky lamp glow tall and round the lamp-and, warm between the lights. As she turned, laughing, to the two men, she let her cloak slide over her white shoulder and fall with silk splendour of a peacock's gorgeous blue over the arm of the large settee. There she stood, with her white hand upon the peacock of her cloak, where it tumbled against her dull orange dress. She knew her own splendour, and she drew up her throat
Starting point is 09:54:10 laughing and brilliant with triumph. Then she raised both her arms. to her head and remained for a moment delicately touching her hair into order, still fronting the two men. Then, with a final little laugh, she moved slowly and turned up the lamp, dispelling some of the witchcraft from the room. She had developed strangely in six months. She seemed to have discovered the wonderful charm of her womanhood. As she leaned forward with her arm outstretched to the lamp, as she delicately adjusted the wicks with mysterious fingers, She seemed to be moving in some alluring figure of a dance, her hair like a nimbus clouding the light, her bosom lit with wonder. The soft outstretching of her hand was like the whispering of strange words into the blood, and as she fingered a book, the heart watched silently for the meaning.
Starting point is 09:55:05 "'Would you take off my shoes, darling?' she said, sinking among the cushions of the settee. Leslie kneeled again before her, and she bent her head and watched him. "'My feet are a tiny bit cold,' she said plaitively, giving him her foot that seemed like gold and the yellow silk stocking. He took it between his hands, stroking it. "'It is quite cold,' he said, and he held both her feet in his hands. "'Ah, you dear boy!' she cried with sudden gentleness, bending forward and touching his cheek. is it great fun being host of ye ramey iny she said playfully to george there seemed a long distance between them now as she sat with the man in evening dress crouching before her putting golden shoes on her feet it is rather he replied the men in the smoke-room say such rum things my word you hear some tales there tell us too she pleaded i couldn't i never could tell a tale than even if i could well
Starting point is 09:56:10 but i do long to hear she said what the men in the say of the smoke-room of ye ramee innie is it quite unteatable quite he laughed what a pity see what a cruel thing it is to be a woman leslie we never know what men say in smoke-rooms or you read in your novels everything a woman ever uttered it is a shame george you are a wretch you should tell me i do envy you what do envy me exactly he asked laughing always at her whimsical way way. "'Your smoke-room, the way you see life, or the way you hear it, rather.' "'But I should have thought you saw life ten times more than me,' he replied. "'I, I only see manners, good manners, and bad manners. You know, manners maketh a man. That's when a woman's there.
Starting point is 09:57:00 But you wait a while, you'll see.' "'When shall I see?' asked George, flattered and interested. "'When you've made the fortune you talked about?' she replied. he was uplifted by her remembering the things he had said but i've made it when he said sceptically even then well i shall only be or have been landlord of ye rami inny he looked at her waiting for her to lift up his hopes with her gay balloons well that doesn't matter leslie might be landlord of some ram inn when he's at home for all anybody would know mightn't you hubby dear thanks replied leslie with good human sarcasm you can't tell a publican from a peer if he's a rich publican she continued money maketh the man you know plus manners added george laughing oh they are always there where i am i give you ten years at the end of that time you must invite us to your swell place say the hall at iberwich and we will come with all our numerous array she sat among her cushions smiling upon him she was half-ironical half sincere he smiled back at her his dark eyes full of trembling hope and pleasure and pride
Starting point is 09:58:21 how is meg she asked is she as charming as ever or have you spoiled her oh she is as charming as ever he replied and we are tremendously fond of one another that is right i do think men are delightful she added smiling i'm glad you think so he laughed they talked on brightly about a thousand things she touched on paris and pictures and new music with her quick chatter sounding to george wonderful in her culture and facility and at last he said he must go not until you've eaten a biscuit and drunk good luck with me she cried catching her dress about her like a dinner in flame and running out of the room. We all drank to the new year in the cold champagne. To the vita me over, said Letty, and we drank, smiling. Ark, said George, the Hooters! We stood still and listened. There was a faint booing noise far away outside. It was midnight. Lettie caught up a wrap and we went to the door. The wood, the ice, the grey, dim hills, lay frozen in the
Starting point is 09:59:33 the light of the moon. But outside the valley, far away in Derbyshire, away towards Nottyam, on every hand the distant hooters and buzzers of mines and armworks crowed small on the borders of the night, like so many strange low voices of cockles bursting forth at different pitch with different tone, warning us of the dawn of the new year. End of Part 3, Chapter 2. Part 3, Chapter 3 of the White Peacock. by D.H. Lawrence. This Librevox recording is in the public domain, reporting by Simon Evers. Part 3, Chapter 3. The First Pages of Several Romances. I found a good deal of difference in Leslie since his marriage. He had lost his assertive self-confidence. He no longer pronounced emphatically
Starting point is 10:00:32 and ultimately on every subject, nor did he seek to dominate, as he had always done, the company in which he found himself. I was surprised to, to beckoned. to see him so courteous and attentive to George. He moved unobtrusively about the room while Letty was chattering, and in his demeanour there was a new reserve, a gentleness and a grace. It was charming to see him offering the cigarette to George, or, with beautiful tact, asking with his eyes only whether he should refill the glass of his guest, and afterwards replacing it softly close to the other's hand. To Lettie, he was unfailingly attentive, courteous and unethyst. undemonstrative. Towards the end of my holiday he had to go to London on business and we agreed to take the journey together.
Starting point is 10:01:20 We must leave Woodside soon after eight o'clock in the morning. Lettie and he had separate rooms. I thought she would not have risen to take breakfast with us, but at a quarter past seven, just as Rebecca was bringing in the coffee, she came downstairs. She wore a blue morning gown, and her hair was as beautifully dressed as usual. Why, my darling, you shouldn't have trouble to come down so early, said Leslie, as he kissed her. Of course I should come down, she replied, lifting back the heavy curtains and looking out on the snow where the darkness was wilting into daylight. I should not let you go away into the cold without having seen you take a good breakfast. I think it is thawing. The snow on the red of dendrons looks sodden and drooping.
Starting point is 10:02:05 Ah, well, we can keep out the dismal of the morning for another hour. She glanced at the clock. Just an hour, she added. He turned to her with a swift tenderness. She smiled to him and sat down at the coffee-maker. We took our places at the table. I think I shall come back tonight, he said quietly, almost appealingly. He watched the flow of the coffee before she answered.
Starting point is 10:02:31 Then the brass urn swung back, and she lifted her face to hand him the cup. You will not do anything so foolish. "'Wilage, Leslie,' she said calmly. He took his cup, thanking her, and bent his face over the fragrant steam. "'I can easily catch the 7.15 from some pancreas,' he replied, without looking up. "'Have I sweetened to your liking, Cyril?' she asked. And then, as she stirred her coffee, she added, "'It's ridiculous, Leslie. You catch the 7.15 and very probably missed the connection at Nottingham.
Starting point is 10:03:03 You can't have the motor-car there because of the roads. Besides, is it absurd to come toiling home in the cold, slushy night, when you may just as well stay in London and be comfortable? At any rate I should get the ten-thirty down to Lawton Hill, he urged. But there is no need, she replied. There's not the faintest need for you to come home to-night? It's really absurd of you. Think of all the discomfort.
Starting point is 10:03:27 Indeed, I should not want to come training dismally home at midnight. I should not indeed. You would be simply wretched. "'Stay and have a jolly evening with Cyril.' He kept his head bent over his plate and did not reply. His persistence irritated her slightly. "'That is what you can do,' she said. "'Go to the pantomime.
Starting point is 10:03:47 Or wait, go to Mitrelinx Blue Bird. I'm sure that is on somewhere. I wonder Rebecca has destroyed yesterday's paper. Do you mind touching the bell, Cyril?' Rebecca came, and the paper was discovered. Lettie carefully read the notices and planned for us with assessed a delightful programme for the evening. Leslie listened to it all in silence. When the time had come for our departure, Lettie came with us into the hall to see that we were well wrapped up. Leslie had spoken very few words. She was conscious that he was deeply offended, but her manner was quite calm, and she petted us both brightly.
Starting point is 10:04:26 Goodbye, dear, she said to him when he came mutely to kiss her. You know it would have been miserable for you to sit all those hours in the train at night. You will have ever such a jolly time. I know you will. I shall look for you tomorrow. Good-bye, then, good-bye." He went down the steps and entered the car, without looking at her. She waited in the doorway as we moved round. In the black-gray morning she seemed to harbour the glittering blue sky and the sunshine of March in her dress and her luxuriant hair. He did not look at her till we were curving to the great snow-cumbered redodendrons when at the last moment we were he stood up in a sudden panic to wave to her almost as he saw her the bushes came between them and he dropped dejectly back into his seat good-bye we heard her call cheerfully and tenderly like a blackbird
Starting point is 10:05:18 good-bye i answered and good-bye darling good-bye he cried suddenly starting up in a passion of forgiveness and tenderness the car went cautiously down the sodden white path under the trees I suffered acutely the sickness of exile in Norwood. For weeks I wandered the streets of the suburb, haunted by the spirit of some part of Nethermear. As I went along the quiet roads where the lamps in yellow loneliness stood among the leafless trees of the night, I would feel the feeling of the dark, wet bit of path between the wood-meadow and the brooks.
Starting point is 10:05:56 The spirit of that wild little slope to the mill would come upon me, and there in the suburb of London I would walk wrapped in the sense of a small wet place in the valley of Nethermere. A strange voice within me rose and called for the hill path. Again I could feel the wood waiting for me, calling and calling, and I, crying for the wood, yet the space of many miles was between us. Since I left the valley of home, I have not much feared any other loss. The hills of Nethermere have been my walls, and the skyed Nethermere, my roof overhead.
Starting point is 10:06:32 it seemed almost as if at home i might lift my hand to the ceiling of the valley and touch my own beloved sky whose familiar clouds came again and again to visit me whose stars were constant to me born when i was born whose son had been all my father to me but now the skies were strange over my head and orion walked past me unnoticing he who night after night had stood over the woods to spend with me a wonderful hour when does day now lift up the confines at my dwelling-place when does the night throw open her vastest for me and send me the stars for company there is no night in a city how can i lose myself in the magnificent forest of darkness when night is only a thin scattering of the trees of shadow with barrenness of lights in between i can never lift my eyes save to the crystal palace crouching cowering wretchedly among the yellow-gray clouds picking up its two round towers like pillars of anxious misery. No landmark could have been more foreign to me, more depressing than the great dilapidated Paris, which lay forever prostrate above us,
Starting point is 10:07:45 fretting because of its own degradation and ruin. I watched the buds coming on the brown almond trees. I heard the blackbirds, and I saw the restless starlings. In the streets were many heaps of violets, and men held forward to me snowdrops, whose white, mute lips were pushed upwards in a bunch, but these things had no meaning for me and little interest. Most eagerly I waited for my letters.
Starting point is 10:08:13 Emily wrote to me very constantly. Don't you find it quite exhilarating, almost intoxicating to be so free? I think it is quite wonderful. At home you cannot live your own life. You have to struggle to keep even a little apart for yourself. It's so hard to stand aloof from our mothers, and yet they are only hurt and insulted if you tell them what is in your heart. It is such a relief not to have to be anything to anybody but just to please yourself.
Starting point is 10:08:41 I am sure Mother and I have suffered a great deal from trying to keep up our own relations, yet she would not let me go. When I come home in the evening and think that I needn't say anything to anybody, nor do anything for anybody but just have the evening for myself, I am overjoyed. I have begun to write a story, again a little later she wrote. As I go to school by Old Braford Village at the morning, the birds are thrilling wonderfully and everything seems stirring. Very likely there will be a setback, and after that spring will come in truth.
Starting point is 10:09:17 When should you come and see me? I cannot think of a spring without you. The railways are the only fine, exciting things here. One is only a few yards away from school. All day long I am watching the great Midland trains go south. very lucky to be able to rush southward through the sunshine. The crows are very interesting. They flap past all the time we're out in the yard. The railways and the crows make the charm of my life in Brayford.
Starting point is 10:09:46 The other day I saw no end of pairs of crows. Do you remember what they say at home? One for sorrow? Very often one solitary creature sits on the telegraph wires. I almost hate him when I look at him. I think my badge for life ought to be one crow. Again, a little later. I've been home for the weekend. Isn't it nice to be made much of, to be an important cherished person for a little time? It's quite a new experience for me. The snowdrops are full out among the grass in the front garden, and such a lot.
Starting point is 10:10:22 I imagined you must come in the sunshine of the Sunday afternoon to see them. It did not seem possible you should not. The winter aconites are out along the hedge. I knelt and kissed them. I've been so glad to go away to breathe the fresh air of life, but I felt as if I could not come away from the Aconites. I've sent you some. Are there much withered? Now I am in my lodgings. I have the quite unusual feeling of being contented to stay here a little while, not long, not above a year, I'm sure. But even to be contented for a little while is enough for me. In the beginning of March I had a letter from the father. You'll not see us again in the old place. We should be gone in a fortnight.
Starting point is 10:11:08 The things are most of them gone already. George has got Bob and Flower. I've sold three of the cows, Stafford, and Julia and Hannah. The place looks very empty. I don't like going past the cow sheds, and we miss hearing the horse's stamp at night. But I shall not be sorry when we have really gone. I begin to feel as if we'd stagnated here.
Starting point is 10:11:30 I begin to feel as if I was set to. and getting narrow and dull. It will be a new lease of life to get away. But I'm wondering how we shall be over there. Mrs. Saxon feels very nervous about going, but at the worst we can, but come back. I feel as if I must go somewhere. It's stagnation and starvation for us here. I wish George would come with me. I never thought he would have taken to public housekeeping, but he seems to like it all right. He was down with Meg on Sunday. mrs saxon says he's getting a public-house tone he's certainly much livelier more full of talk than he was megan he seemed very comfortable i'm glad to say he's got a good milk round and i've no doubt but what he'll do well he's very cautious at the bottom you'll never lose much if he never makes much sam and david are very great friends i'm glad i've got the boy we often talk of you it would be very lonely if it wasn't for the excitement of
Starting point is 10:12:31 upsetting things and so on. Mrs. Saxon hopes you will stick by George, she worries a bit about him, thinking he may go wrong. I don't think he will ever go far. But I should be glad to know you were keeping friends. Mrs. Saxon says she will write to you about it. George was a very poor correspondent. I soon ceased to expect a letter from him. I received one directly after the father's. My dear Cyril, forgive me for not having written you before, but you see, I cannot sit down and write you any time. If I cannot do it just when I am in the mood, I cannot do it at all, and it so often happens that the mood comes upon me when I'm in the fields at work, when it is impossible to write. Last night I sat by myself in the kitchen on purpose to write to you, and then I could not. All day, at Greymead, when I was drilling in the fallow at the back of the church, I'd been thinking of you, and I could have written
Starting point is 10:13:29 there if I'd had materials, but I had not, and at night I could not. I'm sorry to say that in my last letter I did not thank you for the books. I have not read them both, but I have nearly finished Evelyn Innis. I get a bit tired of it towards the end. I do not do much reading now. There seems to be hardly any chance for me. Either somebody is crying for me in the smoke-room, or there is some business, or else Meg won't let me.
Starting point is 10:13:57 She doesn't like me to read at night. says I ought to talk to her, so I have to. It is half-past seven, and I'm sitting ready-dressed to go and talk to Harry Jackson about a young horse he wants to sell to me. He is in pretty low water, and it will make a pretty good horse. But I don't care much whether I have it or not. The mood sees me to write to you. Somehow at the bottom I feel miserable and heavy, yet there's no need. I'm making pretty good money, and I've got all I want.
Starting point is 10:14:27 But when I've been plying and getting it, I'm going to do it. the oats in those fields on the hillside at the back of Gramey Church, I felt as if I didn't care whether I got on or not. It's very funny. Last week I made over five pounds, clear one way and another, and yet now I'm as restless and discontented as I can be, and I seem eager for something, but I don't know what it is. Sometimes I wonder where I am going. Yesterday I watched broken white masses of clouds sailing across the sky in a fresh, strong wind. they all seem to be going somewhere. I wonder where the wind was blowing them. I don't seem to have any hold on anything, do I? Can you tell me what I want at the bottom of my heart?
Starting point is 10:15:12 Wish you were here, then I think I should not feel like this. But generally I don't. Generally I'm quite jolly and busy. By Joe, here's Harry Jackson come for me. I have a finish list letter when I get back. I have got back, we've turned out, but I cannot finish. I cannot tell you all about it. I've had a little row with Meg. Oh, I've had a rotten time.
Starting point is 10:15:38 But I cannot tell you about it tonight. It is late, and I'm tired, and I have a headache. Some other time, perhaps. George, Saxon. The spring came bravely, even in South London, and the town was filled with magic. I never knew the sumptuous purple of evening till I saw the round arc lamps filled with light
Starting point is 10:16:00 and roll like golden bubbles along the purses. purple dusk of the high road. Everywhere at night the city is filled with the magic of lamps. Over the river they pour in golden patches their floating luminous oil on the restless darkness. The bright lamps float in and out of the cavern of London Bridge Station like round shining bees in and out of a black hive. In the suburbs, the street lamps glimmer with the brightness of lemons among the trees. I began to love the town. In the morning, I loved to move in the aimless street's procession, watching the faces come near to me, with the sudden glance of dark eyes, watching the mouths of the women blossom with talk as they passed, watching the subtle movements of the shoulders of men beneath their coats, and the naked warmth of their necks that went glowing along the street. I loved the city intensely for its movement of men and women, the soft, fascinating flow of the limbs of men and women, and the sudden flash of eyes and lips as they pass. Among all the faces of the street, my attention roved like a bee which clambers drunkenly among blue flowers. I became intoxicated with the strange nectar which I sipped out of the eyes of the passers-by.
Starting point is 10:17:18 I did not know how time was hastening by on still bright wings, till I saw the scarlet hawthorn flaunting over the road, and the lime-buds lit up like wine-drops in the sun, and the pink scarves of the lime-buds, pretty as lousewirt, are blossom in the gutters. and a silver-pink tangle of almond boughs against the blue sky the lilacs came out and in the pensive stillness of the suburb at night came the delicious tarry scent of lilac flowers wakening a silent laughter of romance across all this strangely came the bleak sounds of home alice wrote to me at the end of may cyril dear prepare yourself make has got twins yesterday I went up to see how she was this afternoon, not knowing anything, and there I found a pair of bubs in the nest, an old Mars Stainwright bossing the show. I nearly fainted.
Starting point is 10:18:13 Sibble dear, I hardly knew whether to laugh or to cry when I saw those two rummy little round heads, like two large cones cheek by cheek on a twig. One is a darky with lots of black hair, and the other is red, would you believe it? Just lit up with thin red hair like a flicker of firelight. I gasped. I believe I did shed a few tears. "'No, for what, I don't know?' "'The old grandma is a perfect old wretch over it.
Starting point is 10:18:37 "'She lies, chuckling and passing audible remarks in the next room, "'as pleased as punch, really, "'but so mad because Mar Stainwright wouldn't have them taken in to her.' "'You should have heard her when we took them in at last. "'They're both boys.' "'She didn't make a fuss, poor old woman. "'I think she's going a bit funny in the head. "'She seemed sometimes to think they were hers,
Starting point is 10:18:57 "'and you should have heard her the way she talked to them. "'Made me feel quite funny.' she wanted them lying against her on the pillow so that she could feel them with her face i shed a few more tears sybil i think i must be going dotty also but she came round when we took them away and began to chuckle to herself and talk about the things she'd say to george when he came awful shocking thing sybil may be blushed dreadfully george didn't know about it then he was down at bingham buying some horses i believe he seemed to have got a craze for buying horses he got in with harry jackson and Mayhew's sons. You know, they were horse dealers. At least their father was. You remember he died bankrupt about three years ago. There are Fred and Duncan left, and they pretend to keep on the old business. They're always up at the ram, and Georgie is always driving about with them. I don't like it. They are a loose lot, rather common and poor enough now.
Starting point is 10:19:54 Well, I thought I'd wait and see Georgie. He came about half-past five. May could have been fidgeting about him, wondering where he was, and how he was, and so on. Bless me if I worry and whittle about a man. The old grandma heard the cart, and before he could get down, she shouted, you know her room is in the front. Aye, George, my lad, sharpen the shins and come and have a look at them. There's two of them, two on them! And she laughed something awful.
Starting point is 10:20:21 Hello, Grandma, what art the shardin about? he said. And at the sound of his voice, Meg turned to me so pitiful and said, he's been where Matthews. That's gotten twins, a couple of a goal, me lad! shouted the old woman. Can you know how she gives squeal before she laughs? She made the horse shy, and he swore it, something awful. Then Bill took it, and Georgie came upstairs. I saw Meg seem to shrink when she heard him kick at the stairs as he came up,
Starting point is 10:20:48 and she went white. When he got to the top, he came in. He fairly reeked of whiskey and horses. "'Poh, a man is hateful when he reeks of drink.' He stood by the side of the bed, grinning like a fool, and saying, quite thick, "'You've been in a bit of a hurry, haven't you, Meg? And are you, Meg? And are you, Meg?
Starting point is 10:21:09 "'Oh, I'm all right,' said Meg. "'Is it twins straight?' he said. "'Wernism!' Med looked over at the cradle, and he went round the bed to it, holding to the bedrail. He'd never kissed her, nor anything. When he saw the twins asleep with their fists shut tight as wax, he gave a laugh of his eve he was amused and said,
Starting point is 10:21:30 "'Two right enough, one on em, red. Which is the girl, Meg the blackoon?' "'They are both boys,' said Meg quite timidly. He turned round, and his eyes went little. "'Blast them, then,' he said. He stood there looking like a devil, Sibble dear. I did not know how George could look like that. i thought she could only look like a faithful dog or a wounded stag but he looked fiendish he stood watching the poor little twins scouting at them till at last the little red one began to whine a bit
Starting point is 10:22:04 while stainwright came pushing her fat carcass in front of him and bent over the baby saying why my pretty what are they doing to thee what are they what are they doing to thee george scowled blacker than ever and went out lurked she against the washstand and making the pots rattle till my heart jumped in my throat "'What if you don't call that scandalous?' said old Marstonwright. "'A Meg began to cry.' "'You don't know, Cyril. She sobbed fit to break her heart. "'I felt as if I could have killed him.' "'That old grandma began talking to him, and he laughed at her. "'And you hate to hear a man laugh when he's half drunk. "'Makes my blood boil all of a sudden.
Starting point is 10:22:48 "'That old grandmother backs him up in everything. "'She's a brick and a nuisance.' megas cried to me before ever the pair of them the wicked vulgar old thing that she is i went home to woodside early in september emily was staying at the ram it was strange that everything was so different nethermeier even had changed nethermeer was no longer a complete wonderful little world that held us charmed inhabitants it was a small insignificant valley lost in the spaces of the earth the tree that had drooped over the brook with such delightful romantic grace was a ridiculous thing when i came home after a year of absence in the south the old symbols were trite and foolish emily and i went down one morning to strelli mill the house was occupied by a labourer and aunt his wife's strangers from the north he was tall very thin and silent strangely suggesting kinship with the rats of the place she was small and very active like some ragged domestic fowl run wild already emily had visited her so she invited us into the kitchen of the mill and set forward the chairs for us the large room had the baronair of a cell there was a small table stranded towards the fire-place and a few chairs by the walls for the rest desert spaces of flagged floor retreating into shadow
Starting point is 10:24:17 on the walls by the windows were five cages of canaries and the small sharp movements of the birds made the room more strange in its desolation when we began to talk the birds began to sing till we were quite bewildered for the little woman spoke glasgow scotch and she had a hair lip she rose and ran towards the cages crying herself like some wild fowl and flapping a duster at the warbling canaries stop it sturp it she cried shaking her thin weird body of them silly little devils fools fools and she flapped the duster till the birds were subdued then she brought us delicious scones and apple jelly urging us almost nudging us with her thin elbows to make us eat don't you like em don't you well eat em then go on emily go on eat some more only don't tell tom don't tell tom when he comes in she shook her head and laughed her shrilly weird laughter as we were going out she came out with us and went running on in front we could not help noting how ragged and unkempt was her short black skirt but she hastened around us hither and thither like an excited fowl talking in her high-pitched unintelligible manner i could not believe the brooding mill was in her charge i could not think that this was the steady mill of a year ago she fluttered up the steep orchard bank in front of us happening to turn round and see emily and me smiling at each other she began to laugh her strident weird laughter saying with a leer emily he's your sweetheart you sweetheart emily you never told me and she laughed aloud we blushed furiously she could She came away from the edge of the sluice scully, nearer to us crying,
Starting point is 10:26:05 "'You've been here on nights, haven't you, Emily, haven't you?' And she laughed again. She sat down suddenly, and, pointing above our head, shrieked, "'Ah, look there!' We looked and saw the mistletoe. "'Look at her, look at her. How many kisses night, Emily! Ha, ha, ha, ha! kisses all the year!
Starting point is 10:26:23 Kisses all nights in a lonely place!' She went on wildly for a short time. Then she dropped her voice and talked in low, pathetic tones. She pressed on a scones and jelly and oak cakes, and we left her. When we were out on the road by the brook, Emily looked at me with shape-faced, laughing eyes. I noticed a small movement of her lips, and in an instant I found myself kissing her, laughing with some of the little woman's wildness. End of Part 3
Starting point is 10:26:59 Chapter 3 Part 3, Chapter 3B of The White Peacock by D.H. Lawrence. This Librevox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Simon Evers. Part 3, Chapter 3B, Domestic Life at the Ram. George was very anxious to receive me at his home. The Ram had as yet only a six days licence. So, on Sunday afternoon, I walked over to tea.
Starting point is 10:27:32 It was very warm and still and sunny as I came through Greymead. A few sweethearts were saunders. under the horse-chestnut trees, or crossing the road to go into the fields that lay smoothly carpeted after the hay harvest. As I came round the flagged track to the kitchen door of the inn, I heard the slur of a baking-tin and the bang of the oven door, and Meg saying crossly, No, don't you take him, Emily, nodded little thing. Let his father hold him. One of the babies was crying. I entered and found a Meg all flushed and untidy, wearing a large white
Starting point is 10:28:08 apron just rising from the oven. Emily, in a cream dress, was taking a red-haired crying baby from out of the cradle. George sat in the small armchair, smoking and looking cross. I can't shake hands, said Meg rather flurried. I'm all flaredy. Sit down, will you? And she hurried out of the room. Emily looked up from the complaining baby to me and smiled, a woman's rare, intimate smile, which says, see, I'm engaged with us for a moment, but I keep my heart. hard for you all the time. George rose and offered me the round-arm chair. It was the highest honour he could do me. He asked me what I would drink. When I refused everything, he sat down heavily on the sofa, frowning, and angrily cudgeoning his wits for something to say,
Starting point is 10:28:56 in vain. The room was large and comfortably furnished with rushed chairs, a glass-knocked dresser, a cupboard with glass doors, perched on the shelf in a corner, and the usual large sofa, whose cosy loose bed and pillows were covered with red cotton stuff. There was a peculiar reminiscence of littles and drink in the room, beer and a touch of spirits, and a bacon. Teeney, the sullen, black-browed servant girl, came in carrying the other baby, and Meg called from the scullery to ask her if the child were asleep. Meg was evidently in a bustle and a flurry, a most uncomfortable state.
Starting point is 10:29:35 "'No,' replied Teeney, He's not for sleep this day. Men the fire and see to the oven and then put him his frock on, replied Meg testily. Tini set the black-haired baby in the second cradle. Immediately he began to cry, or rather to shout, his remonstrance. George went across to him and picked up a white furry rabbit which he held before the child. Here, look at Bun-Bun, have you a nice rabbit. Arct it's squeaking!
Starting point is 10:30:04 The baby listened for a moment, then, decided that this was only a put off, began to cry again. George threw down the rabbit and took the baby, swearing inwardly. He downled the child on his knee. What's up then? What's up with thee? Have a ride then, dee, de, de, dee, dee, dee. But the baby knew quite well what was the father's feelings towards him, and he continued to cry. Hurry up, teeny, said George, as the maid rattled the coal on the fire. Emily was walking about hushing her charge and smiling at me so that I had a peculiar pleasure in gathering for myself from the honey of endearment which she shed on the lips of the baby. George handed over his child to the maid and said to me with patient sarcasm,
Starting point is 10:30:48 Will you come into the garden? I rose and followed him across the sunny flagged yard and on the path between the bushes. He lit his pipe and sordered along as a man on his own estate does, feeding as if he were untravelled by laws or conventions. You know, he said, she's a damn woman. rotten manager. I laughed and remarked how full of plums the trees were. Yes, he replied heedlessly. You know she ought to have sent the girl out with the kids this afternoon and have got dressed directly. But no, she must sit gossiping with Emily all the time they were asleep,
Starting point is 10:31:23 and then as soon as they wake up, she begins to make cake. I suppose she felt she'd enjoy a pleasant chat, all quiet, I answered. But she knew quite well you were coming and what it would be. But a woman's no damn foresight. Nay, what does it matter? said I. Sunday's the only day we can have a bit of peace, so she might keep them quiet then. I suppose it was the any time, too, that she could have a quiet gossip, I replied. But you don't know, he said. There seems to be never a minute of freedom. Tini sleeps in now and lives with us in the kitchen. Oswald as well, so I never know what it is
Starting point is 10:32:00 to have a Mormon private. That doesn't seem a single spot anywhere where I can sit quiet. It's the kids all day and the kids all night and the servants and then all the men in the house. I sometimes feel as if I should like to get away. I should leave the pub as soon as I can, and if make doesn't want to. But if you leave the public house, what then? I should like to get back on a farm. This is no sort of a place really for farming. I've always got some business on hand.
Starting point is 10:32:27 There's a traveller to see, or I've got to go to the Brewers, or I've summoned to look at a horse or something. Your life's all messed up. they've had a place of my own and found it in peace you'd be as miserable as you could be i said perhaps so he assented in his old reflective manner perhaps so anyhow i needn't bother can i feel as if i never shall go back to the man which means at the bottom of your heart you don't intend to i said laughing perhaps so he again yielded you see i'm doing pretty well here apart from the public-house always thinks that's meg's come look at the stable i've got a shah mare and two nags pretty good i went down to melton morbury with tom mayhew to a chap they've had dealings with tom's all right and he knows how to buy but he's such a lazy careless devil too lazy to be bothered to sell george was evidently interested as we went round to the stables emily came out with the baby which was dressed in a new silk frock she advanced smiling to me with dark eyes see now he is good doesn't he look pretty she held the baby for me to look at i glanced at it but i was only conscious of the near warmth of her cheek and of the scent of her hair who is he like i asked looking up and finding out
Starting point is 10:33:51 myself full in her eyes. The question was quite irrelevant. Her eyes spoke a whole clear message that made my heart throb. Yet she answered, Who is he? Why, nobody, of course, but he will be like father, don't you think? The question drew my eyes to hers again, and again we looked at each other the strange intelligence that made her flush, and me breathe in as I smiled. others, not like yours. Gain the wild messages in her looks. No, she answered very softly,
Starting point is 10:34:29 and I think you'll be jolly like father. They have neither of them our eyes, have they? No, I answered, overcome by a sudden hot flush of tenderness. No, not vulnerable. To have such soft vulnerable eyes as you used makes one feel nervous and irascible. But you've clothed over the sense,
Starting point is 10:34:51 of your sensitiveness of yours, haven't you? Like naked life, naked defentous protoprasm they were, is it not so? She laughed. And at the old, painful memories, she dilated in the old way, and I felt the old tremor at seeing her soul flung quivering on my pity. I'm a mind like that, asked George, who had come up. He must have perceived the bewilderment of my look as I tried to adjust myself to him. A slight shadow, a slight chagrin appeared on his forehead. A slight chagrin appeared on his face. Yes, I answered. Yes, but not so bad. You never gave yourself away so much. You were most cautious, but just as defenseless. Am I altered? He asked, with quiet irony, as if he knew I was not interested in him. Yes, more cautious. You keep in the shadow. But Emily has clothed herself and can now walk among the crowd at her own gate. It was with an effort I refrained from putting my lips to kiss her at that moment, as she looked at me. with womanly dignity and tenderness.
Starting point is 10:35:57 Then I remembered and said, But you're taking me to the stable, George. Come and see the horses, too, Emily. I will, I admire them so much, she replied. And thus we both indulged him. He talked to his horses and of them, laying his hand upon them, running over their limbs. The glossy, restless animals interested him more than anything.
Starting point is 10:36:20 He broke into a little flush of enthusiasm over them, they were his new interest they were quiet and yet responsive he was their master and owner this gave him real pleasure but the baby became displeased again emily looked at me for sympathy with him he's a little wanderer she said he likes to be always moving perhaps he objects to the ammonia of stables too she added frowning and laughing slightly it is not very agreeable is it not particularly i agreed and as she moved off i went with her leaving him in the stables when emily and i were alone we sauntered aimlessly back to the garden she persisted in talking to the baby and in talking to me about the baby till i wished the child in jericho miss made her laugh and she continued to tantalise me the holly-clock flowers of the second whirl were flushing to the top of the spires the bees covered with pale crumbs of pollen were swaying a moment outside the white gates of the florets. Then they swung in with excited hum and clung madly to the furry white capitals and worked riotously round the waxy bases.
Starting point is 10:37:36 Emily held out the baby to watch, tore he all the time in low, fond tones. The child stretched towards the bright flowers. The sun glistened on his smooth hair as on bronze dust and the wondering blue eyes of the baby followed the bees. Then he made small sounds and suddenly waved his hands like rumpled pink hollyhock buds. Look, said Emily. Look at the little bees. Oh, but you mustn't touch them. They bite. They're coming, she cried with sudden laughing apprehension, drawing the child away.
Starting point is 10:38:10 He made noises of remonstrance. She put him near to the flowers again till he knocked the spire with his hand, and two indignant bees came sailing out. Emily drew back quickly, cried. an alarm, then laughing with excited eyes of me, as if she had just escaped to peril in my presence. Thus she teased me by flinging me all kinds of bright gauges of love, or she kept me aloof because of the child. She laughed with pure pleasure at this state of affairs, and delighted them more when I frowned. Till at last I swallowed my resentment and laughed too, playing with the hands of the baby, and watching his blue eyes change slowly like a softly sailing sky. presently meg called us into tea she wore a dress of fine blue stuff with cream silk embroidery and she looked handsome for her hair was very hastily dressed
Starting point is 10:39:03 what if you have that child all this time she exclaimed on seeing emily where's his father i don't know we'd left him in the stable didn't we cyril but i like nursing and meg i like it ever so much replied emily oh yes you may be sure george would get off here to be good he's always in the stable "'As I tell him, he fair stinks of horses. "'He's not that fond of the children, I can tell you. "'Come on, my pet. "'Why, come to its mummy.' "'He took the baby and kissed it passionately "'and made extravagant love to it. "'A clean-shaven young man with thick bare arms
Starting point is 10:39:37 "'went across the yard. "'Here just look and tell George's tea is ready,' said Meg. "'Where is he?' asked Oswald, "'the sturdy youth who attended to the farm business. "'You know where to find him,' replied Meg, "'with that careless freedom, which was so subtly derogatory to her husband. George came hurrying from the outbuilding.
Starting point is 10:39:58 What is it, tea already? he said. It's a wonder you haven't been crying out for it this last hour, said Meg. It's a marvel you've got to us so quick, he replied. Oh, is it? she answered. Well, it's not with any of your help that I've done it. That's a fact. Where's Tini? A maid, short, stiffly built, very dark and sullen-looking, came forward from the gate. can you take alfie as well just while we have tea she asked keeney replied that she should think she could whereupon she was given the ruddy-haired baby as well as the dark one she sat with them on a seat at the end of the yard we proceeded to tea
Starting point is 10:40:37 it was a very great spread there were hot cakes three or four kinds of cold cakes tinned apricots jellies tinned lobster and trifles in the way of jam cream and rum i don't know what those cakes are like said meg and i made them in such a fluster really you have to do things as best you can when you've got children especially when there's two i never seem to have time to do me air up even look at it now she put up her hands to her head and i could not help noticing how grimy and rough were her nails the tea was going on pleasantly when one of the babies began to cry teeny bent over it crooning roughly i leaned back and looked out of the door to watch her i thought of the girl in check-off story who smothered her charge and i hoped the grin tini would not be driven to such desperation the other child joined the chorus tini rose from her seat and walked about the yard gruffly trying to soothe the twins it's a funny thing but whenever anybody comes they're sure to be cross said meg beginning to simmer they're no different from ordinary said george it's only that you're forced to notice it then no it is not cried Meg in a sub-compassion. Is it now, Emily? Of course he has to say something. Weren't they as good as gold this morning, Emily?
Starting point is 10:41:56 And yesterday. Why, they never murmured as good as gold they were. But he wants them to be as dumb as fishes. He'd like them shutting up in a box as soon as they make a bit of noise. I was not saying anything about it, he replied. Yes, you were, he retorted. I don't know what you call it then. The babies outside continued to cry.
Starting point is 10:42:16 Bring Alfie to me, called Meg, yielding to the night. another feeling. "'Oh, no, damn it,' said George. "'Let Oswald take him.' "'Yes,' replied Meg bitterly. "'Think anybody take him so long as he's out of your side. "'You never ought to have children you didn't.' "'Wort to remember something about today.' "'Come then,' said Meg,
Starting point is 10:42:36 "'with a whole passion of tenderness, "'and she took the red-haired baby and held it to her bosom. "'Well, what is it, then? What is it, me precious? "'Hush, then, pet, push then.' "'The baby did not hush. Meg rose from her chair and stood rocking the baby in her arms, swaying from one foot to the other. He's got a bit of wind, she said.
Starting point is 10:42:58 We tried to continue the meal, but everything was awkward and difficult. I wonder if he's hungry, said Meg, let's try him. He turned away and gave him her breast. Then he was still, so she covered herself as much as she could and sat down again to tea. We had finished, so we sat and waited while she had. this disjointing of the meal by reflex action made emily and me more accurate we were exquisitely attentive and polite to a nicety our very speech was clipped with precision as we drifted to a discussion of strouse and a de this of course put a breach between us two and our hosts but we could not help it was our only way of covering over the awkwardness of the occasion george sat looking glum and listening to us meg was quite indifferent she listened occasionally but her position as mother made her impregnable she sat eating calmly looking down now and again at her baby holding us in slight scorn babblers that we were
Starting point is 10:44:03 he was secure in our high maternity she was mistress and sole authority george his father was first servant as an indifferent father she humiliated him and was hostile to his wishes emily and i were mere intruders feeling ourselves such after tea we went upstairs to wash our hands the grandmother had had a second stroke of paralysis and lay inert almost stupefied her large bulk upon the bed was horrible to me and her face with the muscles all slack and awry seemed like some cruel cartoon she spoke a few thick words to me george asked if she felt all right or should he rub her She turned her old eye slowly to him. "'Me leg, me leg a bit,' she said in her strange guttural. He took off his coat, and, pushing his hand under the bed-clothes, sat rubbing the poor old woman's limb patiently, slowly, for some time. He watched him for a moment. Then, without her turning her eyes from him, he passed out of her vision, and she lay staring at nothing in his direction. There, he said at last.
Starting point is 10:45:18 Is that any better, then, Mother? Aye, that's a bit better, she said slowly. Do I give the edring? he asked, lingering, wishing to minister all he could to her before he went. She looked at him, and he brought the cup. She swallowed a few drops with difficulty. Doesn't it make you miserable to have her always there? I asked him when we were in the next room. He sat down on the large white bed and laughed shortly. I used to it. I never noticed her, poor old grandma.
Starting point is 10:45:51 But she must have made a difference to you. She must have made a big difference at the bottom, even if you don't know it, I said. He's got such a strong character, he said, musing. She seems to understand me. She was a real friend of me before she was so bad. Sometimes I happen to look at her. Generally, I never see her.
Starting point is 10:46:09 You know how I mean. But sometimes I do. And then, it seems a bit rotten. He smiled at me peculiarly. It seems to take the shine off things, he added, and then, smiling again with ugly irony. She's our skeleton in the closet, he indicated her large bark.
Starting point is 10:46:30 The church bells began to ring. The grey church stood on a rise among the fields not far away, like a handsome old stag looking over towards the inn. Five bells began to play, and the sound came beating upon the window. I hate Sunday night, he said restlessly. Because you've nothing to do, I asked. I don't know, he said. It seems like a gag and you feel helpless.
Starting point is 10:46:55 I don't want to go to church and hark at the bells. They make you feel uncomfortable. What do you generally do? I asked. Feel miserable. I beat out of Mayhew's these last two Sundays and makes me pretty mad. She says it's the only night I could stop with her or go out with her. When do I stop with her? What can I do? If we go out, it's only for half an hour. Wait, Sunday night, it's a dead end. When we went downstairs, the table was cleared, and Mait was barfing the dark baby.
Starting point is 10:47:27 Thus she was perfect. She handled the bonny, naked child with beauty of gentleness. She kneeled over him nobly. Her arms and her bosom and her throat had an ability of roundness and softness. She drooped her head with the grace of a Madonna, and her bowels. and her movements were lovely, accurate and exquisite, like an old song perfectly sung. Her voice, playing and soothing round the curved limbs of the baby, was like mortar, soft as wine in the sun, running with delight. We watched humbly, sharing the wonder from afar.
Starting point is 10:48:05 Emily was very envious of Meg's felicity. She begged to be allowed to bath the second baby. Meg granted her bounteous permission. yes you can watch him if you like but what about your frock emily delighted began to undress the baby whose hair was like crocus petals her fingers trembled with pleasure as she loosened the little tapes i always remember the inarticulate delight with which she took the child in her hands when at last year's little shirt was removed and felt his soft white limbs and body a distinct glowing atmosphere seemed suddenly to burst out around her and the child leaving me outside the moment before she had been very near to me her eyes searching mine a spirit clinging timidly about me now i was put away quite alone neglected forgotten outside the glow which surrounded the woman and the baby ah ah he said with a deep-throated vowel and she put her face against the child's small breasts so round almost like a girl's silken and warm and wonderful he kissed him and touched him and hovered over him drinking in his baby sweetnesses the sweetness of the laughing little mouth's wide wet kisses of the round waving limbs of the little soldiers so witsomely curving to the arms and the breasts
Starting point is 10:49:30 of the tiny soft neck hidden very warm beneath the chin tasting deliciously with her lips and her cheeks all the exquisite softness silkeness warmth and tender life of the baby's body woman is so ready to disclaim the body of a man's love she yields him her own soft beauty with so much gentle patience and regret he clings to his neck to his head and his cheeks fonding them for the soul's meaning that is there and shrinking from his passionate limbs and his body it was with some perplexity some anger and bitterness that i watched emily moved almost to ecstasy by the baby's small innocuous person meg never found any pleasure in me as she does in the kids said george bitterly for himself the child laughing and crowing caught hands in emily's hair and pulled dark tresses down while she cried out in remonstrance and tried to loosen the small fists of the were shut so fast she took him from the water and rubbed him dry with marvellous gentle little rubs he kicking and expostulating she brought his fine hair into one silken upspringing of ruddy gull'd she brought his fine hair into one silken upspringing of ruddy gold like an aureole she played with his tiny balls of toes like wee pink mushrooms till at last she dared detain him no longer when she put on his flannel and his nightgown and gave him to meg before carrying him to bed meg took him to feed him his mouth was stretched round the nipple as he sucked his face was pressed close and closer to the breast his fingers wandered over the fire and his fingers wandered over the fire and he sucked his mouth was stretched round the nipple as he sucked his face was pressed close and closer to the breast his fingers wandered over the fine white globe, blue-veined and heavy, trying to hold it. Meg looked down upon him with a
Starting point is 10:51:17 consuming passion of tenderness, and Emily clasped her hands and leaned forward to him. Even thus, they thought him exquisite. When the twins were both asleep, I must tiptoe upstairs to see them. They lay cheek by cheek in the crib next to the large white bed, breathing little ruffling breaths, out of unison, so small and pathetic with their tiny shut fingers. I remembered the two larks. On the next room came a heavy sound of the old woman's breathing. Meg went into her. As in passing I caught sight of the large, prone figure in the bed. I thought of Guillaumeau-Parsons' Twain, who acted as an incubator. End of Part 3, Chapter 3B. this Librevox recording is in the public domain.
Starting point is 10:52:21 Recording by Simon Evers. Part 3, Chapter 4, The Dominant Moutief of Suffering. The old woman lay still another year. Then she suddenly sank out of life. George ceased to write to me, but I learned his news elsewhere. He became more and more intimate with the Mayhew's. After Old Mayhew's bankruptcy, the two sons had remained on in the large, dark house, that stood off the Nottingham Road in Aberwich.
Starting point is 10:52:52 This house had been bequeathed to the oldest daughter by the mother. Ward Mayhew, who was married and separated from her husband, kept house for her brothers. She was a tall, large woman with high cheekbones and oily black hair looped over her ears. Tom Mayhew was also a handsome man, very dark and ruddy, with insolent, bright eyes. The Mayhew's house was called the Hollies.
Starting point is 10:53:18 It was a solid building of old red brick standing fifty yards back from the Eberwich High Road. Between it and the road was an unkempt lawn, surrounded by very high black holly trees. The house seemed to be imprisoned among the bristling hollies. Passing through the large gates, one came immediately upon the bare side of the house and upon the great range of stables. Old Mayhew had in his day stabled thirty or more horses there. Now grass was between the red bricks and all the large. bleaching doors were shut, save perhaps two or three which were open for George's horses. The Hollies became a kind of club for the disconsolate better-off men of the district.
Starting point is 10:54:00 The large dining room was gloomily and sparsely furnished. The drawing-room was a desert, but the smaller morning room was comfortable enough, with wicker-arm chairs, heavy curtains, and a large sideboard. In this room, George and the Mayhues met with several men two or three times a week. There they discussed horses and made mock of the authority of women. George provided the whiskey, and they all gambled timidly at cards. These bachelor parties were the sorts of great annoyance to the wives of the married men who attended them. He's quite unbearable when he's been at those Mayhew's, said Meg. I'm sure they do nothing but cry astern. More Mayhew kept apart from these meetings, watching over her two children. She had been very unhappily married,
Starting point is 10:54:47 and now was reserved, silent. The women of Eberwich watched her as she went swiftly along the street in the morning with her basket, and they gloried a little in her overthrow, because she was too proud to accept consolation. Yet they were sorry in their hearts for her, and she was never touched with calumny. George saw her frequently, but she treated him coldly as she treated the other men, so he was afraid of her. He had more facilities now for his horse-stealing. When the grandmother died, in the October two years after the marriage of George, she left him £700. To Meg she left the inn and the two houses she had built in Newerton, together with brewery shares to the value of nearly a thousand pounds. George and Meg felt themselves to be people of property.
Starting point is 10:55:35 The result, however, was only a little further coveness between them. he was very careful that she had all that was hers she said to him once when they were quarrelling that he didn't go feeding the mayhues on the money that came out of her business thenceforward he kept strict accounts of all his affairs and she must audit them receiving her exact dues this was a mortification to her woman's capricious soul of generosity and cruelty the christmas after the grandmother's death another son was born to them for the time george and make became very good friend again. When in the following March I heard he was coming down to London with Tom Mayhew on business, I wrote and asked him to stay with me. Meg replied, saying that she was so glad I had asked him, she did not want him going off with that fellow again. He had been such a lot better lately, and she was sure as only those Mayhew's made him what he was. He consented to stay with me. I wrote and told him Lettie and Lesley were in London, and that we should die with them one evening.
Starting point is 10:56:40 I met him in King's Cross and we all three drove west. Mayhew was a remarkably handsome, well-built man. He and George made a notable couple. They were both in britches and gaiters, but George still looked like a yeoman, while Mayhew had all the braggadaccio of the stable. He made an impossible trio. Mayhew laughed and jested broadly for a short time,
Starting point is 10:57:05 then he grew restless and fidgety. He felt restrained and awkward in my presence. later he told george i was a damned parson on the other hand i was content to look at his rather vulgar beauty his teeth were blackened with smoking and to listen to his ineffectual talk but i could find absolutely no response george was go-between to me he was cautious and rather deferential to mayhew he was careless and his attitude was tinged with contempt when the son of the horse-dealer at last left us to go to some of his father's old cronial to mehue he was careless and his attitude was tinged with contempt when the son of the horse-dealer at last left us to go to some of his father's old cron were glad. Very uncertain, very sensitive, and wavering. Our old intimacy burned again like the fragile burning of alcohol. Closed together in the same blue flames, we discovered and watched the pageant of life in the town revealed wonderfully to us. We laughed at the tyranny of old romance. We scorned the faded procession of old years, and made mock of the vast pilgrimage of bygone
Starting point is 10:58:09 romantic, travelling farther into the dim distance. Were we not in the midst of the bewildering pageant of modern life, with all its confusion of bannets and colours, with its infinite interweaving of sounds, the screech of the modern toys of haste striking like heen spray, the heavy boom of busy mankind gathering its bread earnestly forming the bed of all other sounds? And between these two, the swiftness of songs, the triumphant tilt of the joy of life, the hoarse oboes of privation, the shuddering drums of tragedy, and the eternal scraping of the two deep-toned strings of despair. We watched the taxi cabs coursing with their noses down to the street. We watched the rocking handsoms and the lumbering statelyness of buses. In the silent green
Starting point is 10:58:59 cavern of the park, we stood and listened to the surging of the ocean of life. We watched a girl with streaming hair go galloping down the row. A dark man, a dark man, as laughing and showing his white teeth, galloping more heavily at her elbow. We saw a squad of lifeguards enter the gates of the park, erect and glittering with silver and white and red. They came near to us, and we thrilled a little as we watched the muscles of their white, smooth thighs, answering the movement of the horses, and their cheeks and their chins bending with proud manliness to the rhythm of the march.
Starting point is 10:59:35 We watched to the exquisite rhythm of the body of men, moving in scarlet and silver further down the leafless avenue, like a slightly wavering spark of red life blown along. At the Marble Arch Corner, we listened to a little socialist who was flaring fiercely under a plain tree. The hot stream of his words flowed over the old wounds that the knowledge of the unending miseries of the poor had given me, and I winced. For him, the world was all east end,
Starting point is 11:00:04 and all the east end was as a pool from which the waters were drained off, leaving the water-things to wrestle in the wet mud under the sun, till the whole of the city seems a heaving, shuddering struggle of black-muddied objects deprived of the elements of life. I felt a great terror of the little man, lest he should make me see all mud, as I had seen before. Then I felt a breathless pity for him, that his eyes should be always filled with mud and never brightened.
Starting point is 11:00:34 George listened intently to the speaker, very much moved by him. at night after the theatre we saw the outcasts sleep in a rank under the waterloo bridge their heads to the wall their feet lying out on the pavement a long black ruffled heap at the foot of the wall all the faces were covered but two that of a peaked pale little man and that of a brutal woman ever these two faces floating like uneasy pale dreams on their obscurity swept now and again the trailing light of the tram cars we picked our way past to the line of abandoned feet shrinking from the sight of the thin bare ankles of a young man from the draggled edges of the skirts of a bunched-up woman from the pitiful sight of the men who had wrapped their legs in newspaper for a little warmth and lay like worthless parcels it was raining some men stood at the edge of the causeway fixed in dreary misery finding no room to sleep outside on a seat in the blackness and the rain a woman's sat sleeping, while the water trickled and hung heavily at the ends of her loosened strands of hair. Her hands were pushed in the bosom of her jacket.
Starting point is 11:01:49 She lurched forward in her sleep, started, and one of her hands fell out of her bosom. She sank again to sleep. George gripped my arm. Give her something, he whispered in panic. I was afraid. Then, suddenly getting a florin from my pocket, I stiffened my nerves and slid it into her palm. Her hand was soft and warm and curled in sleep. She started violently, looking up at me, then down at her hand.
Starting point is 11:02:19 I turned my face aside, terrified lest she should look in my eyes. And full of shame and grief, I ran down the embankment to him. We hurried along under the plain trees in silence. The shining cars were drawing tall in the distance over Westminster Bridge, of fainter yellow light running with them on the water below. The wet streets were spilled with golden liquor of light, and on the deep blackness of the river were the restless yellow slashes of the lamps.
Starting point is 11:02:50 Letty and Leslie were staying up at Hampstead with a friend of the Tempice, one of the largest shareholders in the firm of Tempest Wharton and co. The Raphael's had a substantial house, and Lettie preferred to go to them, rather than to her hotel, especially as she brought with her her infant son, now ten months old, with his nurse. They invited Georgie and me to dinner on the Friday evening. The party included Lettie's host and hostess, and also a Scottish poetess, and an Irish musician, composer of songs and pianoforte rhapsodies.
Starting point is 11:03:24 Lettie wore a black-laced dress in mourning for one of Lesday's maternal arts. This made her look older, otherwise there seemed to be no change in her. a subtle observer might have noticed a little hardness about her mouth and a disillusion hanging slightly on her eyes she was however excited by the company in which she found herself therefore she overflowed with clever speeches and rapid brilliant observations certainly on such occasions she was admirable the rest of the company formed as it were the orchestra which accompanied her george was exceedingly quiet he spoke a few words now and then to mrs raphael but on the whole he was altogether silent listening really letty was saying i don't see that one thing is worth doing any more than another it's like dessert you are equally indifferent whether you have grapes or pears or pineapple have you already dined so far sang the scottish poetess in her musical plaintive manner the only thing worth doing is producing said letty "'Hollas, that is what all the young folk are saying nowadays,' sighed the Irish musician. "'That is the only thing one finds any pleasure in. That is to say any satisfaction,'
Starting point is 11:04:43 continued Letty, smiling and turning to the two artists. "'Do not think so,' she added. "'You do you come to a point at last,' said the Scottish poetess, "'when your work is a real source of satisfaction.' "'Do you write poetry, then?' asked George of Lettie. "'I, oh dear, no. I've tried to start. generously to make up a limerick for a competition, but in vain. So you see I'm a failure there. Did you know I have a son, though? Marvelous little fellow, is he not, Leslie? He is my work.
Starting point is 11:05:16 I'm a wonderful mother, am I not, Leslie? Too devoted, he replied. There, she exclaimed in triumph. When I have to sign my name and occupation in a visitor book, it will be mother. I hope my business will flourish, she concluded, smiling. There was a touch of ironical brutality in her now. She was at the bottom quite sincere. Having reached that point in a woman's career, where most, perhaps all of the things in life, seem worthless and insipid, she determined to put up with it, to ignore her own self, to empty her own potentialities into the vessel of another or others, and to live her life at second hand. This peculiar abnegation of self is the resource of a woman for the escaping of the responsibilities of her own development. Like a nun, she puts over her living face a veil as a sign that the woman no longer exists for herself. She is the servant of God, of some man, of her children, or maybe of some cause. As a servant, she is no longer responsible for herself, which will make her terrified and lonely.
Starting point is 11:06:25 service is light and easy. To be responsible for the good progress of one's life is terrifying. It is the most insufferable form of loneliness and the heaviest of responsibilities. So Lettie indulged her husband, but did not yield her independence to him. Rather, it was she who took much of the responsibility of him into her hands, and therefore he was so devoted to her. She had, however, now determined to abandon the charge of herself, to some. her children. When the children grew up, either they would unconsciously fling her away, back upon herself again in bitterness and loneliness, or they would tenderly cherish her, chafing
Starting point is 11:07:10 at her love-bombs occasionally. George looked and listened to all the flutter of conversation and said nothing. It seemed to him like so much unreasonable rustling of pieces of paper, of leaves of books, and so on. Later in the evening, Lettie say. sang, no longer Italian folk songs, but the fragmentary utterances of Debussy and Strauss. These also to George were quite meaningless and rather wearisome. It made him impatient to see her wasting herself upon them. Do you like those songs? she asked in the frank, careless manner she affected. Not much, he replied ungraciously.
Starting point is 11:07:53 Don't you? she exclaimed, adding with a smile, those are the most wonderful things in the world, those little things?' She began to hum a Debussy idiom. He could not answer her on the point, so he sat with the arrow sticking in him and did not speak. She inquired of him concerning Meg and his children and the affairs of Eberwich, but the interest was flimsy, as she preserved a wide distance between them, although apparently she was so unaffected and friendly. We left before eleven.
Starting point is 11:08:26 When we were seated in the cab and rushing downhill, he said, You know, she makes me mad. He was frowning, looking out of the window away from me. Who, Letty? Why, what rouse you? I asked. He was some time in reply. Why, she saw affected. I sat still in the small, close space, and waited.
Starting point is 11:08:51 You know, he laughed, keeping his face averted from me. She makes my blood boil like a... hate her. Why? I said gently. I don't know. I feel as she did insult at me. He does lie, doesn't she? I didn't notice it, I said, but I knew he meant her shirking, her shuffling of her life. And you think of those bored devils under the bridge, and then of her and them fritting away themselves and money and that idiocy. He spoke with passion. You were quoting long, Farrow, I said. "'What?' he asked, looking at me suddenly.
Starting point is 11:09:32 "'Life is real, life is earnest.' He flushed slightly, and my good-natured jive. "'I don't know what it is,' he replied. "'But it's a pretty rotten business when you think of a fooling about wasting herself, "'and all the waste that goes on up there, "'and the poor devil's rotting on the embankment, "'and you and Mayhew and me,' I continued. "'He looked at me very intently to see if I were mocking.'
Starting point is 11:09:58 He laughed. I could see he was very much moved. Is the time quite out of joint? I asked. Why? He laughed. No, but she makes me feel so angry, as if I should burst. I don't know when I felt in such a rage. I wonder why. I'm sorry for him, poor devil.
Starting point is 11:10:19 Letty and Leslie. They seemed christened for one another, didn't they? What if you'd had her? I asked. which would have been like a cat and dog i'd rather be with mega thousand times now he added significantly he sat watching the lamps and the people and the dark buildings slipping past us shall we go and have a drink i asked him thinking we would call him frascartis to see the come and go i could do with the brandy he replied looking at me slowly we sat at the restaurant listening to the jigging of the music watching the changing flow of the people. I like to sit a long time by the hollyhocks watching the throng of varied bees which poise and hesitate outside the wildflowers, then swing in with a hum which
Starting point is 11:11:08 sets everything up over. But still more fascinating is it to watch the come and go of people weaving and intermingling in the complex mesh of their intentions, with all the subtle grace and mystery of their moving, shapely bodies. I sat still looking out across the amphitheatre. looked also, but he drank glass after glass of brandy. I like to watch the people, said I. My, and doesn't it seem an aimless idiotic business? Look at them, he replied in terms of contempt. I looked instead at him in some surprise and resentment.
Starting point is 11:11:48 His face was gloomy, stupid and unrelieved. The amount of brandy he had drunk had increased his ill-humour. Shall we be going? I said. I didn't want him to get drunk in his present state of mind. Aye, in half a minute. He finished the brandy and rose. Although he had drunk a good deal, he was quite steady, only there was a disagreeable look always on his face,
Starting point is 11:12:13 and his eyes seemed smaller and more glittering than I had seen them. He took a bus to Victoria. He sat swaying on his seat in the dim, clumsy vehicle, saying not a word. In the vast cavern of the station, the theatre-goers were hastening, crossing the pale grey strand, small creatures scurrying hither and thither in the space beneath the lonely lamps. As the train crawled over the river, we watched the far-flung hoop of diamond lights curving slowly round and striping with bright threads the black water. He sat, looking with heavy eyes, seeming to shrink from the enormous uninterredible lettering of the poem of London.
Starting point is 11:12:54 The town was too large for him. He could not take in its immense, its stupendous poetry. What did come home to him was its flagrant discourse. The unintelligibility of the vast city made him apprehensive, and the crudity of its big coarse contrasts wounded him unutterably. What is the matter? I asked him as you went along the silent pavement at Norwood. Nothing, he replied. Nothing. and i did not trouble him further we occupied a large two-bedded room that looked down the hill and over to the far woods of kent he was morose and untalkative i had brought up a soda siphon and whisky and we proceeded to undress when he stood in his pyjamas he waited as if uncertain do you want to drink he asked i did not he crossed to the table and as i got into my bed i heard the brief fizzing of the siphon He drank his glass at one draught, then switched off the light. In the sudden darkness I saw his pale shadow go across to the sofa and the window space.
Starting point is 11:14:06 The blinds were undrawn and the stars looked in. He gazed out on the great bay of darkness, wherein, far away and below, floated a few sparks of lamps like herring-boats at sea. "'Aren't you coming to bed?' I asked. "'I'm not sleepy. You got to sleep,' he answered, resenting having to speak at all. Then put on a dressing-gown, as one in that corner.
Starting point is 11:14:32 Turn the light on. I did not answer, but fumbled for the garment in the darkness. When he found it, he said, Do you mind if I smoke? I did not. He fumbled again in his pockets for cigarettes, always refusing to switch on the light.
Starting point is 11:14:50 I watched his face bowed to the match as he lighted his cigarette. He was still handsome in the ruddy light, but his features were Corsa. I felt very sorry for him, but I saw that I could get no nearer to him to relieve him. For some time I lay in the darkness watching the end of his cigarette like a ruddy, malignant insect hovering near his lips, putting the timid stars immensely far away. He sat quite still, leaning on the sofa arm.
Starting point is 11:15:22 Occasionally there was a little glow on his cheeks as the cigarette burned brighter. Then again I could see nothing but the dull red. B. I suppose I must have dropped to sleep. Suddenly I started as something fell to the floor. I heard him cursing under his breath. What's the matter? I asked. I've only knocked something down, cigarette case or something, he replied apologetically. Aren't you coming to bed? I asked. Yes, I'm coming, he answered, quite docile. He seemed to wander about and knock against things as he came. He dropped heavily into bed. Are you sleepy now? I asked.
Starting point is 11:16:04 I don't know. I shall be directly, he replied. What's up with you? I asked. I don't know, he answered. I'm like this sometimes when there's nothing I want to do and know where I want to go and nobody I want to be in here. Then you feel so rottenly, lonely, Cyril. You feel awful, like a vacuum with a pressure on you, a sort of pressure of darkness, and you yourself. Just nothing, a vacuum. That's what it's like.
Starting point is 11:16:30 a little vacuum that's not dark, all loose in the middle of a space of darkness that's pressing on you. What gracious, I exclaimed, from rising myself in bed. That sounds bad. He laughed slightly. It's all right, he said. It's only the excitement of London and that little man in the park and that woman on the seat. I wonder where she is tonight, poor devil. And then Letty.
Starting point is 11:16:57 I seem thrown off my valums. I think really I ought to have made something of myself. What? I asked as he hesitated. I don't know, he replied slowly. A poet or something like Burns. I don't know. I shall laugh at myself for thinking so tomorrow. But I'm born a generation too soon.
Starting point is 11:17:18 I wasn't ripe enough when I came. I wanted something I hadn't got. I'm something short. I'm like corn in a wet harvest. Full but pappy, no good. I was a rot. I came too soon. or i wanted something would have made me grow fierce that's why i wanted letty i think what am i talking damn rot what am i saying what are you making me talk for what are you listening for i rose and went across to him saying
Starting point is 11:17:48 i didn't want you to talk if you sleep till morning things will look different i sat on his bed and took his hand he lay quite still i'm only a kid after all cyril he said a few moments later we all are i answered still holding his hand presently he fell asleep when i woke the sunlight was laughing with a young morning in the room the large blue sky shone against the window and the birds were calling in the garden below shouting to one another and making fun of life i felt glad to have opened my eyes i lay for a moment looking out on the morning as on a blue bright sea in which i was going to plunge then my eyes wandered to the little table near the couch i noticed the glitter of george's cigarette-case and then with a start the whisky decanter it was nearly empty he must have drunk three quarters of a pint of liquor while i was dozing i could not believe it i thought i must have been mistaken as to the quantity the bottle contained i lead out to see what it was that had startled me by its fall the night before There was the large heavy drinking glass which he had knocked down but not broken. I could see no stain on the carpet. George was still asleep.
Starting point is 11:19:12 He lay half uncovered and was breathing quietly. His face looked inert like a mask. The pallid, uninspired clay of his features seemed to have sunk a little out of shape so that he appeared rather haggard, rather ugly, with grooves of ineffectual misery along his cheeks. I wanted him to wake, so that his inert, flassy features might be with life again. I could not believe his charm and his beauty could have forsaken himself and let his features dreary, sunken clay. As I looked, he woke. His eyes opened slowly. He looked at me and turned away, unable to meet my eyes. He pulled the bed close
Starting point is 11:19:53 up over his shoulders as though to cover himself from me, and he lay with his back to me, quite still, as if he were asleep, although I knew he was quite awake. He was suffering the humiliation of lying waiting for his life to crawl back and inhabit his body. As it was, his vitality was not yet sufficient to inform the muscles of his face and give in an expression, much less to answer by challenge. End of Part 3, Chapter 4. Part 3, Chapter 5 of The White Peacock by D.H. Lawrence. this library book's recording is in the public domain. Recording by Simon Evers. Part 3, Chapter 5.
Starting point is 11:20:47 When her eldest boy was three years old, Lettie returned to live at Iberwich. Old Mr. Tempest died suddenly, so Leslie came down to inhabit Hyde Close. He was a very much occupied man. Very often he was in Germany, or in the south of England engaged on business. At home he was unfailingly attentive to his wife and his two children. He had cultivated a taste for public life. In spite of his pressure of business, he had become a county councillor and one of the prominent members of the Conservative Association.
Starting point is 11:21:20 He was very fond of answering or proposing toasts at some public dinner, of entertaining political men at High Close, of taking the chair of political meetings, and, finally, of speaking on this or that platform. His name was fairly often seen in the newspapers. As a mine owner, he spoke as an authority on the employment of labour, on royalties, land-owning, and so on. At home he was quite tame. He treated his wife with respect, romped in the nursery, and domineer of the servants royally.
Starting point is 11:21:55 They liked him for it. Her they did not like. He was noisy but unobservant. She was quiet and exacting. He would swear and bluster furiously, but when he was round the corner, They smiled. She gave her orders and passed a very moderate censure, but they went away cursing to themselves. As Lettie was always a very good wife, Leslie adored her when he had the time, and when he had not, forgot her comfortably. She was very contradictory. At times she would write to me in terms of passionate dissatisfaction.
Starting point is 11:22:32 She had nothing at all in her life. It was a barren futility. I hope I shall have another child next spring, she would write. There is only that to take away the misery of this torpor. I seem full of passion and energy, and it all fizzles out in day-to-day domestics. When I replied to her, urging her to take some work that she could throw her soul into, she would reply indifferently. Then, later, you charged me with contradiction. Well, naturally, you see I wrote that screeching letter in a mood which won't come again for some time.
Starting point is 11:23:05 time generally i am quite content to take the rain and the calm days just as they come then something flings me out of myself and i am a trifle demented very very blue as i tell leslie like so many women she seemed to live for the most part contentedly a small indoor existence with artificial light and a padded upholstery only occasionally hearing the winds of life outside she clamoured to be out in the black keen storm she was driven to the door she looked out and called into the tumult wildly but feminine caution kept her from stepping over the threshold george was flourishing in his horse-stealing in the morning processions of splendid shower-horses tied tail and head would tramp grandly along the quiet lanes of iberwich led by george's man or by tom mayhew while in the fresh clean sunlight george would go riding by two restless nags dancing beside him When I came home from France five years after our meeting in London, I found him installed in the Hollies. He had rented the house from the Mayhew's and had moved there with his family, leaving Oswald in charge of the ram. I called at the large house one afternoon, but George was out. His family surprised me. The twins were tall that's of six. There were two more boys,
Starting point is 11:24:32 and Meg was nursing a beautiful baby girl about a year old. child was evidently mistress of the household. Meg, who was growing stouter, indulged the little creature in every way. How is George? I asked her. Oh, he's very well, she replied. He's always got something on hand. He hardly seems to have a spare moment. What with his socialism and one thing and another? It was true. The outcome of his visits to London had been a wild devotion to the cause of the downtrodden. I saw a picture of Watts' Mammon on the walls of the morning-room and the
Starting point is 11:25:08 the works of Blatchford, Masterman, and Chiotse Money on the side table. The socialists of the district used to meet every other Thursday evening at the Hollies to discuss reform. Meg did not care for these earnest souls. They're not my sort, she said. Too jerky and bumptious. They think everybody's slow-witted but them. There's one thing about them, though. They don't drink, so that's a blessing. Why, I said, have you had much trouble that way? She lowered her voice to a pitch which was sufficiently mysterious to attract the attention of the boys. I shouldn't say anything if it wasn't that you were like brothers, she said, but he did begin to have the dreadful drinking bounce.
Starting point is 11:25:49 You know, it was always spirits and generally brandy, and that makes such work with them. You've no idea what he's like when he's evil drunk. Sometimes he's all for talk, sometimes he's laughing at everything, and sometimes he's just snapping. And then, here her hair. her tones grew ominous. He'll come home, evil drunk. At the memory she grew serious. You couldn't imagine what it's like, Sir Rall, she said. It's like having Satan in the house with you, or a black tiger glaring at you. I'm sure nobody knows what I've suffered with him. Children stood with large, awful eyes and paling lips, listening.
Starting point is 11:26:30 But he's better now, I said. Oh yes, since Gertie came. She looked fondly. at the baby in her arms. He's a lot better now. You see, he always wanted a girl and he's very fond of her, his de pet. Are you, your daddy's girly? Our mum is too, aren't you? The baby turned with sudden coy shyness and plunged to her mother's neck. Meg kissed her fondly. Then the child laid her cheek against her mother's. The mother's dark eyes and the baby's large hazel eyes looked at me serenely. The two were very calm, very complete and triumphant. together. In their completeness was a security which made me feel alone and ineffectual. A woman who has her child in her arms is a tower of strength, a beautiful, unassailable tire of strength
Starting point is 11:27:18 that may in its turn stand quietly dealing death. I told Meg I would call again to see George. Two evenings later I asked Lettie to lend me a dog cart to drive over to the Hollies. Leslie was away in one of his political jaunts and she was restless. she proposed to go with me she had called on meg twice before in the new large home we started about six o'clock the night was dark and muddy letty wanted to call in eva which village so she drove the long way round salisby the horse was walking through the gate of the hollies at about seven o'clock meg was upstairs in the nursery the maid told me and george was in the dining-room getting baby to sleep all right i said we were going to him don't bother to tell him as we stood in the gloomy square hall we heard the rumble of a rocking-chair the stroke coming slow and heavy to the tune of henry martin one of australia mill folk-songs then through the man's heavily accented singing floated the long light crooning of the baby as she sang in her quaint little fashion a mischief a second to her father's lullaby he waxed a little louder and without knowing why we found ourselves smiling with piquant amusement the brave he grew louder too till there was a shrill ring of laughter and mockery in her music he sang louder and louder the baby shrilled higher and higher the chair swung in long heavy beats then suddenly he began to laugh the rocking stopped and he said still with laughter and enjoyment in his tones now that is very wicked ah nought
Starting point is 11:28:59 GERLY. Go to Boe, go to Bowie, at once. The baby chuckled her small insolent mockery. Come, Mama, he cried. Come and take GERDie to Bowie. The baby laughed again, but with an uncertain touch of appeal in her tone. We opened the door and entered. He looked up, very much startled to see us. He was sitting in a tall rocking chair by the fire, coatless with white shirt sleeves. The baby in her high-waisted, tight little nightgown, stood on his knee, her wide eyes fixed on us, wild wisps of her brown hair brushed across her forehead, and glinting like puffs of bronze dust over her ears. Quickly she put her arms round his neck and tucked her face under his chin, her small feet poised on his thigh, the nightgown dropping upon them.
Starting point is 11:29:49 He shook his head as the puff of soft brown hair tickled him. He smiled at a say, you see I'm busy. Then he turned again to the little brown head tucked under his chin, blew away the luminous cloud of hair, and rubbed his lips and his moustache on the small white neck, so warm and secret. The baby put up her shoulders and shrank a little, bubbling in his neck with hidden laughter.
Starting point is 11:30:13 She did not lift her face or loosen her arms. He thinks she is shy, he said. Look up, young horsey, and see the lady and gentleman. He's a positive owl. She won't go to her. bed, will you, young brown owl?' He tickled her neck again with his moustache, and the child bubbled over with naughty, merry laughter. The room was very warm, with a red bank of fire up the chimney-mouth. It was half-lighted from a heavy bronze chandelier, black and bloomy,
Starting point is 11:30:42 in the middle of the room. There was the same sombre, sparse furniture that the Mayhues had had. George looked large and handsome, the glossy black silk of his waistcoat, fitting close to his size, the roundness of the shoulder muscle filling the white linen of his sleeves. Suddenly the baby lifted her head and stared at us, thrusting into her mouth the dummy that was pinned to the breast of her nightgown. The faded pink sleeves of the nightgum were tight on her fat little wrists. She stood thus, sucking her dummy, one arm round her father's neck, watching us with hazel solemn eyes. Then she pushed her fat little fist up among the bush of small curls and began to twist her fingers about her ear that was white like a camellia flower.
Starting point is 11:31:28 She's really sleepy, said Lettie. Come then, said he, folding her for sleep against his breast. Come and go to bowl. The young rascal immediately began to cry her remonstrance. She stiffened herself, freed herself, and stood again on his knee, watching her solemnly, vibrating the dummy in her mouth as she suddenly sucked at it, twisting her father's ear in her small fingers till he winced. The nails are sharp, he said, smiling.
Starting point is 11:31:55 He began asking and giving the small information that passed between friends who have not met for a long time. The baby laid her head on his shoulder, keeping her tired, owl-like eyes fixed darkly on us. Then, gradually, the lids fluttered and sank, and she dropped onto his arm. She's asleep, whispered Lettie. Immediately the dark eyes opened again.
Starting point is 11:32:18 We looked significantly at one. another continued our subdued talk. After a while the baby slept sadly. Presently Meg came downstairs. She greeted us in breathless whispers of surprise and then turned to her husband. "'Are she gone?' she whispered, bending over the sleeping child in astonishment. "'My, this is wonderful, isn't it?' She took the sleeping, drooping baby from his arms, putting her mouth close to its forehead, murmuring with soothing, inarticulate silence. We stayed talking for some time when Megha put the baby to bed. George had a new tone of assurance and authority. In the first place he was an established man, living in a large house, having altogether three men working for him. In the second place, he had ceased to value the conventional treasures of social position and ostentatious refinement. Very, very many things he condemned as flummery and sickly waste of time. The life of an ordinary well-to-do person he set down as adorned, futility, almost idiocy.
Starting point is 11:33:24 He spoke passionately of the monstrous denial of life to the many by the fortunate few. He talked at Lettie most flagrantly. Of course, she said, I've read Mr. Wells and Mr. Shaw, and even Nile Lions and a Dutchman. What is his name? Quarido. But what can I do? I think the rich have as much misery as the poor and of quite as deadly as sort. What can I do?
Starting point is 11:33:48 It is a question of life from the development of the human race. society and its regulations is not a sort of drill that endless napoleons are forced on us it is the only way we have yet found of living together ha said he that is rank cowardice it is feeble and futile to the last degree we can't grow consumption-proof in a generation nor can we grow poverty-proof we can begin to take active measures he replied contemptuously we can all go into a sanatorium and live miserably and dejectedly warding off death she said but life is full of goodliness for all that it is fuller of misery he said nevertheless she had shaken him she still kept her astonishing power of influencing his opinions all his passion and heat and rude speech analysed out was only his terror at her threatening of his life interest she was rather piqued by his rough treatment of her and by his contemptuous tone moreover she never could quite let him be she felt a driving force which impelled her almost against her will to interfere in his life she invited him to dine with them at high close he was now quite possible he had in the course of his business been sufficiently in the company of gentlemen to put together comilfou at a private dinner and after dinner she wrote me concerned him occasionally. George Saxton was here to dinner yesterday. He and Leslie had frightful
Starting point is 11:35:25 battles over the nationalisation of industries. George is rather more than a match for Leslie, which, in his secret's heart, makes our friend gloriously proud. It is very amusing. I, of course, have to preserve the balance of power, and of course to bolster my husband's dignity. At a crucial, dangerous moment, when George is just going to wave his bloody sword and Leslie lies bleeding with rage, I step in and prick the victor under the heart with some little satire or some esoteric question. I raise Leslie and say his blood is luminous for the truth. And you vore? Then I abate for the thousandth time, Leslie's conservative crow, and I appeal once more to George. So use my arguing with him he gets so angry.
Starting point is 11:36:09 I make an abstruse appeal for all the wonderful, sad and beautiful expressions on the countenance of life, expressions which he does not see or which he distorts by his oblique vision of socialism into grimaces. And there I am. I think I am something of a Machiavelli, but it is quite true what I say. Again, she wrote, we happened to be motoring from Derby on Sunday morning, and as we came to the top of the hill, we had to throw it our way through quite a large crowd. I looked up, and whom should I see but our friend George, holding forth about the state endowment of mothers. I made Leslie stop while we listened. The marketplace was quite full of people. George saw us and became flowery.
Starting point is 11:36:53 Leslie then grew excited, and although I clung to the skirts of his coat with all my strength, he jumped up and began to question. I must say it was shame and humility. He made an ass of himself. The men all round were jeering and muttering under their breath. I think Leslie is not very popular among them. He is such an advocate of machinery which will do the work of men.
Starting point is 11:37:15 so they cheered our friend george when he thundered forth his replies and his demonstrations he pointed his finger at us and flung his hand at us and shouted till i quailed in my seat i cannot understand why he should become so frenzied as soon as i am within range george had a triumph that morning but when i saw him a few days later he seemed very uneasy rather self-mistrustful almost a year later i heard from her again on the same subject I've had such a lark. Two or three times I've been to the Hollies to socialist meetings. Leslie does not know. They are great fun. Of course I am in sympathy with the socialists, but I cannot narrow my eyes till I see one thing only.
Starting point is 11:38:02 Life is like a large, rather beautiful man who is young and full of vigour, but hairy, barbaric, with hands hard and dirty, the dirty ingrained. I know his hands are very ugly, I know his mouth is not firmly shapen. I know his limbs are hairy and brutal, but his eyes are deep and very beautiful. That is what I tell George. The people are so earnest, they make me sad. But they're so didactic, they hold forth so much, they're so cocksure and so narrow-eyed. They make me laugh.
Starting point is 11:38:35 George laughs too. I'm sure we made such fun of a straight-haired goggle of a girl who had suffered in prison for the cause of women, that I am ashamed when I see my Women's League badge. At the bottom, you know, Cyril, I don't care for anything very much, except myself. Things seem so frivolous. I am the only real thing, I are the children. Gradually, George fell out of the socialist movement. It wearied him.
Starting point is 11:39:02 It did not feed him altogether. He began by mocking his friends of the confraternity. Then he spoke him bitter dislike of Hudson, the wordy, humorous, shallow leader of the movement in Iberwich. He was Hudson with his wriggily. and his clap-trap who disgusted George with the cause. Finally, the meetings at the Hollies ceased, and my friend dropped all connection with his former associates. He began to speculate in land.
Starting point is 11:39:30 A hosiery factory moved to Iberwich, giving the place a new stimulus to grove. George happened to buy a piece of land at the end of the street of the village. When he got it, he was laid out in allotment gardens. These were becoming valueless owing to the encroachment of houses. he took it divided it up and offered it as sights for a new row of shops he sold and a good profit altogether he was becoming very well off i heard from meg that he was flourishing that he did not drink anything to speak of but that he was always out she hardly saw anything of him if getting on was to keep him so much away from home she would be content with a little less fortune he complained that she was narrow and she would not entertain any sympathy with any of his ideas nobody comes here to see me twice he said because meg receives them in such an off-hand fashion i asked jim curtied and his wife from every home one evening we are uncomfortable all the time make it hardly a word for anybody yes and no one hum-hmm i never come again make herself said oh i can't stand stook-up folks they make me feel uncomfortable as soon as they begin minting
Starting point is 11:40:45 their words, I'm dumbed for. I can no more talk than a lobster. Thus their natures contradicted each other. He tried hard to gain a footing in Eberwich. As it was, he belonged to no class of society whatsoever. Meg visited and entertained the wives of small shopkeepers and publicans. This was her set. George voted the women loud mouths, vulgar and narrow, not without some cause. Meg, however, persisted. she visited when she thought fit and entertained when he was out he made acquaintance after acquaintance doctor francis mr cartridge the veterinary surgeon toby hesswell the brewer's son the courtesies farmers of good standing from everleigh hall but it was no good george was by nature a family man he wanted to be private and secure in his own rooms then he was at ease as meg never went out with him and as every attempt to entertain at the hollies filled him with shame and mortification he began to give up trying to place himself and remained suspended in social isolation at the hollies a friendship between letty and himself had been kept up in spite of all things leslie was sometimes jealous but he did not show it openly for fear of his wife's scathing contempt george went to high clothes perhaps once in a fortnight perhaps not so often letty never went to the hollies as meg's attitude was too antagonistic may complain very bitterly of her husband he often made a beast of himself drinking he thought more of himself than he ought home was not good enough for him he was selfish to the backbone he cared neither for her nor the children only for himself i happened to be at home for letty's thirty-first birthday george was then thirty-five letty had allowed her husband to forget her birthday he was now very much immersed in politics foreseeing a general election in the following year and intending to contest the seat in part parliament. The division was an impregnable liberal stronghold, but Leslie had hopes that he might
Starting point is 11:42:54 capture the situation. Therefore, he spent a great deal of time at the Conservative Club, and among the men of influence in the Southern Division. Lettie encouraged him in these affairs. It relieved her of him. It was us that she let him forget her birthday, while for some unknown reason she let the intelligence slip to George. He was invited to dinner as I was at home. george came at seven o'clock it was a strange feeling of festivity in the house though there were no evident signs letty had dressed with some magnificence in a blackish purple gauze over soft satin of lighter tone nearly the colour of double violets she wore vivid green azurite ornaments on the fairness of her bosom and her bright hair was bound by a band of the same colour it was rather startling she was conscious of her effect and was very excited immediately george saw her his eyes awakened with a dark glow she stood up as he entered her hands stretched straight out to him her body very erect her eyes bright and rising like two blue pennants thank you so much she said softly giving his hand a last pressure before she let it go he could not answer so he sat down bowing his head then looking up at her in suspense she smiled at him
Starting point is 11:44:19 Presently the children came in. They looked very quaint like acolytes in their long, straight dressing-gowns of quilted blue silk. The boy, particularly, looked as if he were going to light the candles in some child's church in paradise. He was very tall and slender and fair with a round, fine head and serene features. Both children looked remarkably, almost transparently, clean. It is impossible to consider anything more fresh and fair. The girl was a merry curly-headed puss of six. She played with her mother's green jewels and prattled prettily, while the boy stood at his mother's side, a slender and synodacolite in his pale blue gown. I was impressed by his patience and his purity. When the girl abounded away into George's arms, the lad laid his hand timidly on his knee,
Starting point is 11:45:10 and looked with a little wonder at her dress. How pretty those green stones are, mother. he said yes replied letty brightly lifting them and letting their strange pattern fall again on her bosom i like them are you going to sing mother he asked perhaps but why said letty smiling because you generally sing when mr saxton comes he bent his head and stroked letty's dress shyly do i she said laughing can you hear just a little he replied quite small as if it were nearly lost in the dark. He was hesitating, shy as boys are. Nettie laid her hand on his head and stroked his smooth, fair hair. "'Sing a song for us before we go, Mother?' he asked, almost shamefully. She kissed him. "'You shall sing with me,' she said. "'What should it be?' He played without a copy of the music. He stood at her side while Lucy, the little mouse,
Starting point is 11:46:12 sat on her mother's skirts, pressing Nettie's silk slippers in turn upon the pedals. The mother and the boy sang their song. Galey the Troubadour touched his guitar as he was hastening from the war. The boy had a pure treble, clear as the flight of swallows in the morning. The light shone on his lips. Under the piano the girl-child sat laughing, pressing her mother's feet with all her strength and laughing again. Lettie smiled as she sang. At last they kissed up a gentle, good night, and flitted out of the room. The girl popped her curly head round the door again. We saw the white cuff on the nurse's wrists as she held the youngster's arm. You'll come and kiss us when we're in bed, Mum? asked the rogue. Her mother laughed and agreed.
Starting point is 11:47:04 Lucy was withdrawn for a moment. Then we heard her, Just a tick nurse, just half a tick. Early head appeared round the door again. And one teeny sweetie, she suggested. Only one. go you letty clapped her hands in mock wrath the child vanished but immediately there appeared again round the door two blue laughing eyes and the snub tip of a nose a nice one mum not a jenny one betty rose with a rustle to sweep upon her the child vanished with a glitter of laughter we heard her calling breathlessly on the stairs wait a bit freddie wait for me and nettie smiled at each other when the children had gone as the smile died from their faces they looked down sadly and until dinner was announced they were very still and heavy with melancholy after dinner letty debated pleasantly which bonbons she should take for the children she came down again she smoked a cigarette with us over coffee george did not like to see her smoking yet he brightened a little when he sat down after giving her a light pleased for her of the mark of recklessness in her. It is ten years today since my party at Woodside,
Starting point is 11:48:17 she said, reaching for the small Roman salt-saller of green jade that she used as an ashtray. My lord, ten years, he exclaimed bitterly, seems a hundred. It does and it doesn't, she answered, smiling. If I look straight back and think of my excitement, it seems only yesterday.
Starting point is 11:48:36 If I look between then and now at all the days that lie between, it is an age. If I look at myself, he said, I think I'm another person altogether. You have changed, she agreed, looking at him sadly. There is a great change, but you are not another person. I often think, there is one of his old looks, he's just the same at the bottom. They embarked on a barge of gloomy recollections and drifted along the soiled canal of their past. The worst of it is, he said.
Starting point is 11:49:08 I've got a miserable girlishness of contempt for things. you know i had such a faculty for reverence i was believed in things i know you did she smiled he was so humbly minded too humbly minded i always considered you always thought things had a deep religious meaning somewhere hidden and you reverenced them is it different now you know me very well he laughed what is there left for me to believe in if not in myself you have to live for your wife and children she said with firmness meg has plenty to secure her and the children as long as they live he said smiling so i don't know that i am essential but you are she replied you are necessary as a father and a husband if not as a provider i think said he marriage is more of a duel than a duet one party wins and takes the other captive slave serve em what you like it is so more or less well said letty well he answered meg is not like you. She wants me, pardon me, so she'd kill me rather than let me go lose. Oh, no, said Lettie emphatically. You know nothing about it, he said quietly. In the marital duel, Meg is winning. The woman generally does. She has the children on her side.
Starting point is 11:50:30 I can't cover any of the real part of me, the vital part that she wants. I can't, any more than you could give kisses to a stranger. And I feel that I'm losing. I don't care. no she said you're getting morbid he put the cigarette between his lips drew a deep breath then slowly sent the smoke down his nostrils no he said look here she said let me sing to you shall i and make you cheerful again he sang from wagner it was the music for resignation and despair she had not thought of it all the time he listened he was thinking the music stimulated his thoughts and illuminate his thoughts and illuminate his music to his thoughts and illuminate his music to his thoughts and illuminate his the trend of his brooding. All the time he sat looking at her, his eyes were dark with his thoughts. She finished the Star of Ease from Tannheuser and came over to him. Why are you so sad tonight when it is my birthday? she asked plaintively. Am I slow? he replied. I am sorry. What is the matter? she said, sinking onto the small sofa
Starting point is 11:51:36 next to him. Nothing, he replied. You're looking very beautiful. there i wanted you to say that you ought to be quite gay you know when i am so smart to-night nay he said i know i ought but to-morrow seems to have fallen in love with me i can't get out of its lean arms why she said to-morrow's arms are not lean they are white like mine she lifted her arms and looked at them smiling how do you know he asked pertinently of course they are was her light-armes she looked at them smiling how do you know he asked pertinently of course they are was her light answer. He laughed, brief and skeptical. No, he said, it came when the children kissed us. What? she asked. These lean arms of tomorrows round me and the white arms round you, he replied, smiling whimsically. She reached out and clasped his hand. You foolish boy, she said. He laughed painfully, not able to look at her. You know, he said, and his voice was low and difficult. I needed you for a light. You will soon be the only light again.
Starting point is 11:52:50 Who is the other? she asked. My little girl, he answered. Then he continued, and you know, I couldn't enjoy complete darkness. I couldn't. It's the solitariness. You mustn't talk like this, she said. You know you mustn't. She put her hand on his head and ran her fingers through the hair he had so ruffled. ruffled. It is as thick as ever your hair, she said. He did not answer, but kept his face bent out of sight. She rose from her seat and stood at the back of his low-armed chair. Taking an amber comb from her hair, she bent over him, and with the translucent comb
Starting point is 11:53:30 and her white fingers, she busied herself with his hair. I believe you would have a parting, she said softly. He laughed shortly at her playfulness. She continued climbing, just touching, pressing the strands in place with the tips of her fingers. I was only a warmth to you, he said, pursuing the same train of thought, so you could do without me. But you were like the light to me, and otherwise it was dark and aimless. Amelessness is horrible.
Starting point is 11:54:04 She finally smoothed his hair, so she lifted her hands and put back her head. Fair, she said, it looks fair fine. as Alice would say, Raven's wings are raggy in comparison. She did not pay any attention to her. Aren't you going to look at yourself? she said, playfully reproachful. She put her fingertips under his chin. He lifted his head, and they looked at each other. She, smiling, tried to make him play. He, smiling with his lips, but not with eyes, dark with pain. They can't go on like this, Lettie, can we? He said.
Starting point is 11:54:42 said softly. Yes? She answered him. Yes. Why not? He can't, he said. He can't. I couldn't keep it up, Letty.
Starting point is 11:54:51 But don't think about it, she answered. Don't think of it. Letty, he said, I have to set my teeth with loneliness. Ah, she said, no, there are the children. Don't say anything. Do not be serious, will you? No, there are the children, he replied, smiling dimly. Yes, hush now.
Starting point is 11:55:14 Stand up and look what a fine parting I have made in your hair. Stand up and see if my star becomes you. No good letter, he said. We can't go on. Oh, but come, come, come, she exclaimed. We're not talking about going on. We're considering what a fine party I've made you down the middle, like two wings of a spread bird.
Starting point is 11:55:36 She looked down, smiling playfully on him, just closing her eyes slightly, petition. He rose and took a deep breath and set his shoulders. No, he said. And at the sound of his voice, Lettie went pale and also stiffened herself. No, he repeated, it is impossible. I felt as soon as Fred came into the room, it must be one way or another. Very well then, said Lettie coldly. Our voice was muted like a violin. Yes, he replied. Yes, he replied submissive.
Starting point is 11:56:12 The children. He looked at her, contracting his lips in a smile of misery. Are you sure it must be so final? She asked, rebellious, even resentful. She was twisting the azurite jewels on her bosom and pressing the blunt points into her flesh. He looked up from the fascination of her action when he heard the tone of her last question. He was angry. Quite sure, he said at last.
Starting point is 11:56:41 Simply, ironically. She bowed her head in a scent. His face twitched sharply as he restrained himself from speaking again. Then he turned and quietly left the room. She did not watch him go, but stood as he had left her. When, after some time, she heard the grating of his dog-cart on the gravel, and then the sharp trot of hoofs down the frozen road, she dropped herself on the settee,
Starting point is 11:57:09 and lay with her bosom against the cushions, looking fixedly at the wall. End of Part 3, Chapter 5. Part 3, Chapter 6 of The White Peacock by D.H. Lawrence. This Librevox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Simon Evers. Part 3, Chapter 6. The Scarpe Slope
Starting point is 11:57:43 Leslie won the Conservative victory in the general election which took place a year or so after my last visit to hide close. In the interim, the tempests had entertained a continuous stream of people. I heard occasionally from Lettie how she was busy, amused or bored. She told me that George had thrown himself into the struggle on behalf of the candidate of the Labour Party, that she had not seen him except in the streets for a very long time. When I went down to Iberwich and the march succeeding the election,
Starting point is 11:58:17 I found several people staying with my sister. She had under her wing a young literary fellow who affected the Doody style, Dora Copperfield's Doady. He had bunches of half-curly hair and a romantic black cravat. He played the impulsive part, but was really as calculating as any man on the stock exchange. Delighted Letty to mother him. He was so shrewd as to be less than harmless. His fellow guests, a woman much experienced in music, and an elderly man who was in the artistic world, without being of it, were interesting for a time. Bubble after bubble of floating
Starting point is 11:58:55 fancy and wits we blew with our breath in the evenings. I rose in the morning, loathing the idea of more bubble-blowing. I wandered around Nethermear, which had now forgotten me. The daffodils under the boat-house continued with their golden laughter and nodded to one another in gossip as I watched them, never for a moment pausing to notice me. The yellow reflection of daffodils among the shadows of grey willow in the water, trembled faintly as they told haunted tales in the gloom. I felt like a child left out of the group of my playmates. There was a wind running across Nethermear, and on the eager water blue and glistening grey shadows changed places swiftly. Along the shore the wild birds rose, flapping in expostulation as they passed,
Starting point is 11:59:43 Peewitz mewing fiercely round my head, while two white swans lifted their glistening feathers, till they looked like grand double water-lilies, laying back their orange beaks among the petals, and fronting me with haughty resentment, charging towards me insolently. I wanted to be recognised by something. I said to myself that the dryads were looking out for me from the woods edge. But as I advanced they shrank, and, glancing wistfully, turned back like pale flowers falling in the shadow of the forest. I was a stranger, an intruder.
Starting point is 12:00:19 among the bushes a twitter of lively birds exclaimed upon me finches went leaping past in bright flashes and a robin sat and asked rudely hello who are you the bracken lay sear under the trees broken and shavelled by the restless wild winds of the long winter the trees caught the wind in their tall nettle twigs and the young morning wind moaned at its captivity as i trod the discarded oak leaves and the bracken they uttered their last sharp gasps pressed into oblivion. The wood was roofed with a wide young sobbing sound, and floored with a faint hiss like the intaking of the last breath. Between was all the glad out-peeping of buds and anemone flowers and the rush of birds. I, wandering alone, felt them all, the anguish of the bracken falling face down in defeat, the careless dash of the birds, the sobbing of the young wind arrested in its haste, the trembling, expanding delight of the buds.
Starting point is 12:01:23 I alone among them could hear the whole succession of chords. The brooks talked on just the same, just as gladly, just as boisterously, as they had done when I had netted small, glittering fish and the rest bulls. At Strelia Mill, a servant girl and a white cap and white apron bands, came running out of the house with purple prayer-books, but she gave to the elder of two finicking girls who sat disconsolently with their black silk mother in the governess cart of the gate, ready to go to church.
Starting point is 12:01:54 Near Woodside there was barbed wire along the path, and at the end of every riding it was tarred on the tree trunks, private. I had done with the Valley of Nethermear. The Valley of Nethermeer had cast me out many years before, when I had fondly believed it cherished me in memory. I went along the road to Iberwich. The church bells were ringing boisterously with the careless boisterousness of the brooks and the birds
Starting point is 12:02:21 and the rollicking cultsfoots and Selandines. A few people were hastening blithely to service. Miners and other labouring men were passing in aimless gangs walking nowhere in particular, so long as they reached a sufficiently distant public house. I reached the Hollies. It was much more spruce than it had been. The yard, however, and the stables had again a somewhat abandoned air.
Starting point is 12:02:48 I asked the maid for George. All master's not up yet, she said, giving a little significant toss of her head and smiling. I waited a moment. But he roomed for a bottle of beer about ten minutes since, so I should think. She emphasised the word with some ironical contempt. It won't be very long, she added, in tones which conveyed that she was not by any means sure. I asked for Meg. or mrs has gone to church and the children but miss saxon is in she might emily i exclaimed the maid smiled she's in the drawing-room she's engaged but perhaps if i tell her yes do said i sure that emily would receive me
Starting point is 12:03:28 i found my old sweetheart sitting in a low chair by the far a man standing on the hearthrunk putting his moustache emily and i both felt a thrill of old delight at meeting i can hardly believe it is really you she said laughing me one of the old intimate looks she had changed a great deal she was very handsome but she had now a new self-confidence a fine free indifference let me introduce you mr wrenshaw cyril tom you know who it is you have heard me speak often enough of cyril i am going to marry tom in three weeks time she said laughing the devil you are i exclaimed involuntil If he will have me, she added, quite as a playful afterthought. Tom was a well-built fair man, smoothly, almost delicately tanned. There was something soderly in his bearing, something self-conscious in the way he bent his head and pulled his moustache, something charming and fresh in the way he laughed at Emily's last preposterous speech. Why didn't you tell me? I asked.
Starting point is 12:04:35 Why didn't you ask me? she retorted, arching her brows. Mr. Renshaw, I said, You have outmaneuvered me all unawares Quite indecently. I'm very sorry, he said, giving one more twist to his moustache, then breaking into a loud, short laugh at his joke. You really feel cross?
Starting point is 12:04:54 said Emily to me, knitting her brows and smiling quently. I do, I replied with truthful emphasis. She laughed, and laughed again, very much amused. It is such a joke, she said, to think you should feel cross now when it is how long is it ago? I will not count up, said I. Are you not sorry for me? I asked of Tom Renshaw.
Starting point is 12:05:17 He looked at me with his young blue eyes, eyes so bright, so naively inquisitive, so winsomely meditative. He did not know quite what to say or how to take it. Very, he replied, in another short burst of laughter, quickly twisting his moustache again and looking down at his feet. He was twenty-nine years old, had been a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little. soldier in China for five years, was now farming his father's farm at Papalink, where Emily was schoolmistress. He'd been at home eighteen months. His father was an old man of seventy who had had his right hand chopped to bits in the chopping machine, so they told me. I liked Tom for his handsome bearing and his fresh winsome way. He was exceedingly manly,
Starting point is 12:06:01 that is to say, he did not dream of questioning or analysing anything. All that came his way was ready, labelled nice or nasty, good or bad. He did not imagine that anything could be other than just what it appeared to be, and with his appearance he was quite content. He looked up to Emily as one wiser, nobler, nearer to God than himself. I'm a thousand years older than he, she said to me, laughing, just as you are centuries older than I. And you love him for his youth? I asked. Yes, she replied, for that, and he's a thousand. wonderfully sagacious and so gentle. And I was never gentle, was I? I said.
Starting point is 12:06:44 No, as restless as urgent as the wind, she said. And I saw a last flicker of the old terror. Where is George? I asked. In bed, she replies briefly. He's recovering from one of his orges. If I were Meg, I would not live with him. Is he so bad? I asked. Bad, she replied. He's disgusting and I'm sure he's dangerous. I'd have him removed to an inebriates home. We'd have to persuade him to go, said Tom,
Starting point is 12:07:14 who'd come into the room again. He does have dreadful bouts there. He's kidding himself, sure enough. I feel awfully sorry for the fellow. He seems so contemptible to me, said Emily, to become enslaved to one of your likings till it makes a beast of you. Look what a spectacle he is for his children. What a disgusting disgrace for his wife. Well, if he can't help it, he can't "'Fault chap,' said Tom. "'Though I do think a man should have more backbone.' We heard heavy noises from the room above. "'He's getting up,' said Emily.
Starting point is 12:07:47 "'I suppose I'd better see if he'll have any breakfast.' He waited, however. Presently the door opened, and there stood, George, with his hand on the knob, leaning, looking in. "'The thought I heard three voices,' he said, as if it freed him from a certain apprehension. He smiled. His waistcoat hung open over his leg,
Starting point is 12:08:07 woollen shirt. He wore no coat and was slipperless. His hair and his moustache were dishevelled, his face pale and stupid with sleep, his eyes small. He turned aside from our looks as if from a bright light. His hand, as I shook it, was flaccid and chill. How do you come to be here, Cyril? he said subduedly, faintly smiling. Would you have any breakfast? Emily asked him coldly. I'll have a bit if there's any for me. he replied it has been waiting for you long enough she answered he turned and went with a dull thud of his stocking feet across to the dining-room emily rang for the maid i followed george leaving the betrothed together i found my host moving about the dining-room looking behind the chairs and in the corners i wonder where the devil me slippers are he murmured explanatory meanwhile he continued his search i noticed he did not ring the bell to have them found for him but he wondered the little bit of the bell to have them found for him presently he came to the fire spreading his hands over it.
Starting point is 12:09:12 As he was smashing the slowly burning coal, the maid came in with the tray. He desisted and put the poker carefully down. While the maid spread his meal on one corner of the table, he looked in the fire, paying her no heed. When she had finished, It's fried white baked, she said. Should you have that?
Starting point is 12:09:31 He lifted his head and looked at the plate. Aye, he said, I've brought the vinegar. without answering she took the cruit from the tide-board and set it on the table as she was closing the door she looked back to say you better eat it now while it's hot he took no notice but sat looking at the fire now are you going on he asked me ay oh very well and you as you see he replied turning his head on one side with a little gesture of irony as i am very sorry to see i rejoined he sat forward with his elbows on his knees tapping the back of his hand with one finger in monotonous two-pulse like heart-beats aren't you going to have breakfast i urge the clock at that moment began to ring a sonorous twelve he looked up at me with subdued irritation i suppose so he answered me when the clock had finished striking he rose heavily and went to the table as he poured out a cup of tea he spilled it on the cloth and stood looking at the stain it was still some time before he began to eat he poured vinegar freely over the hot fish and ate with an indifference that made eating ugly pausing now and again to wipe the tea off his moustache or to pick a bit of fish off his knee you're not married i suppose he said in one of his pauses no i replied i expect i shall have to be looking round ye wiser not he replied quiet and bitter
Starting point is 12:11:06 A moment or two later the maid came in with a letter. "'This game this morning,' she said, as she laid it on the table beside him. He looked at it, then he said, "'You didn't give me a knife for the marmalade?' "'Didn't I?' she replied. "'I thought you wouldn't want it, you don't as a rule.' "'Do you know where Miss Slippers are?' he asked. "'They ought to be in their usual place.'
Starting point is 12:11:28 She went and looked in the corner. "'I suppose Miss Gertis put them somewhere. "'I'll get you another pair.' as he waited for he read the letter he read it twice then he put it back in the envelope quietly without any change of expression but he had no more breakfast even after the maid had brought the knife and his slippers and though he had but a few mouthfuls At half-past twelve there was an imperious woman's voice in the house. Meg came to the door. As she entered the room and saw me, she stood still. She sniffed, glanced at the table, and exclaimed, coming forward diffusively,
Starting point is 12:12:07 Well, I never, Cyril, would have thought of seeing you here this morning. How are you? She waited for the last of my words, and immediately she turned to George and said, I must say you're on a nice tape for Cyril to see you. Have you finished? If you have, Kate can take that tray out. "'Smells quite sickly, have you finished?' He did not answer, but drained his cup of tea and pushed it away with the back of his hand. Meg rang the bell, and, having taken off her gloves, began to put the things on the tray,
Starting point is 12:12:35 tipping the fragments of fish and bones from the edge of his plate to the middle with short, disgusted jerks of the fork. Her attitude and expression were of resentment and disgust. The maid came in. "'Clear the table-cate and open the window. Have you opened the bedroom windows?' no not yet she glanced at george if it's to say he'd only been down a few minutes then do it when you've taken the tray said meg you don't open this window said george shirrishly it's cold enough as it is you should put a coat on then if you're starved replied meg contemptuously it's warm enough for those that have got any life in their blood you do not find it cold do you cyril it is fresh this morning i replied of course it is not cold at all and i'm sure it is not cold at all and i'm sure you're not cold at all but i'm sure you're not cold at all i'm sure you're not cold at all but i'm sure you're not cold at all i'm sure you're
Starting point is 12:13:21 sure this room needs airing. The maid, however, folded the cloth and went out without approaching the windows. Meg had grown stouter, and there was a certain immovable confidence in her. She was authoritative, amiable, calm. She wore a handsome dress of dark green and a toke with opulent ostrich feathers. As she moved about the room, she seemed to dominate everything, particularly her husband, who sat ruffled and dejected, his waistcoat hanging loose over his shirt. the girl entered she was proud and mincing in her deportment her face was handsome but too haughty for a child she wore a white coat with ermine tippets muff and hats her long brown hair hung twining down her back has dad only just had his breakfast she exclaimed in high censorious tones as she came in he has replied meg the girl looked at her father in calm childish censure and we have been to church and we have been to church and come home to dinner, she said, as she drew off her little white gloves. George watched her with
Starting point is 12:14:28 ironical amusement. Hello, said May, glancing at the open letter which lay near his elbow. Who is that from? He glanced round, having forgotten it. He took the envelope, doubled it and pushed it in his waistcoat pocket. It's from William Aousley, he replied. Oh, and what is he to say? she asked. George turned his dark eyes at her. "'Nothing,' he said. "'Ah, uh,' sneered Meg, "'fully left her about nothing.
Starting point is 12:14:56 "'I suppose,' said the child, "'with her insolent, high-pitched superiority, "'it's some money that he doesn't want us to know about.' "'That's about it,' said Meg, "'giving a small laugh at the child's perspicuity. "'So he can keep it for himself, that's what it is,' "'continued the child, nodding her head in rebuke at him. "'I have no right to any money, have I?'
Starting point is 12:15:17 "'asked the father sarcastically. "'No, you haven't,' the child nodded her head at him dictatorially. "'You haven't because you only put it in the fire.' "'You've got it wrong,' he sneered. "'You mean it's like giving a child fire to play with?' "'Oh, and it is, isn't it, ma'am?' The small woman turned to her mother for corroboration. Megan flushed his sneer when he quitted for the child its mother's dictum.
Starting point is 12:15:43 "'And you're very naughty,' preached Gertie, turning her back disdainfully on her father. "'Is that what the Parsons been telling you?' he asked, a grain of amusement still in his bitterness. "'No, it isn't,' reported the youngster. "'If you want to know, you should go and listen for yourself. "'Everybody that goes to church looks nice.' She glanced at her mother and at herself, pruning herself proudly. "'And God loves them,' she added. She assumed a sanctified expression and continued, after a little thought,
Starting point is 12:16:14 "'because they look nice and amique.' "'What?' exclaimed Meg, laughing. glancing with secret pride at me because they're meek repeated gertie with the superior little smile of knowledge enough the mark this time said george no i'm not am i ma'am isn't it right ma'am the meek shall ineveth the earth meeg was too much amused to answer the mink shall have erings on earth mock the father also amused his daughter looked dubiously at him she smelled in propriety it's not ma'am is it she asked turning to to her mother. Meg laughed. The mink shall have earrings on earth, repeated George with soft banter. No, it's not, ma'am, is it? cried the child in real distress. Tell your father, he's always teaching you something wrong, answered Meg. Then I said I must go. They pressed me to stay. Oh yes, two stopped to dinner, suddenly pleaded the child, smoothing her wild raffles of curls
Starting point is 12:17:14 after having drawn off her hat. She asked me again and again with much earnestness. why? I asked. So as you can talk to us this afternoon and so as Dad won't be so disagreeable, she replied plaintively, poking the black spots on her mouth. Meg moved nearer to her daughter with a little gesture of compassion. But, said I, I promised a lady I would be back for lunch, so I must. You have some more visitors, you know. Oh, while she complained, they go in another room and Dad won't care about them. Come, said I. Well, he's just as disagreeable when and our dear Emily's here, is with her and all. You are having your character given away, said Meg brutally, turning to him.
Starting point is 12:17:57 I made them goodbye. He did be the honour of coming with me to the door. We could neither of us find a word to say, though we were both moved. When at last I held his hand and was looking at him, as I said goodbye, he looked back at me for the first time during our meeting. His eyes were heavy and as he lifted them to me seemed to recoil in an agony of shame. End of Part 3, Chapter 6. Part 3, Chapter 7 of The White Peacock by D.H. Lawrence. This Librevox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Simon Evers. Part 3, Chapter 7, A Prospect Among the Marshes of Leith.
Starting point is 12:18:48 George steadily declined from this time. i went to see him two years later he was not at home meg wept to me as she told me of him how he let the business slip how he drank what a brute he was in drink and how unbearable afterwards he was ruining his constitution he was ruining her life and the children's i felt very sorry for her as she sat large and ruddy brimming over with bitter tears she asked me if i do not think i might influence him he was she said at the ram when he had an extra bad bout on he went up there and stayed sometimes for a week at a time with oswald coming back to the hollies when he had recovered though said meg he's sick every morning and almost after every meal all the time meg was telling me this sat curled up in a large chair with their youngest boy a pale sensitive rather spoiled lad of seven or eight years with a petchant mouth and nervous dark eyes he sat watching his mother as she told her tale heaving his shoulders and settling himself in a new position when his feelings were nearly too much for him he was full of wild childish pity for his mother and furious childish hate of his father the author of all their trouble i called at the ram and saw george he was half drunk i went up to high close with a heavy heart letty's last child had been born much to the surprise of every some few months before I came down. There was a space of seven years between her youngest girl and this baby. Lettie was much absorbed in motherhood. When I went up to talk to her about George, I found her in the bedroom nursing the baby, who was very good and quiet on her knee. He listened to me sadly, but her attention was caught away by each movement made by the child. As I was telling her of the attitude of George's children towards their mother and father, she was telling her of the attitude of George's children towards their mother and father, she was told her. She was told her. She was told her. She was told her. She was told her. She was, she was told her. She was she was she was. She was
Starting point is 12:20:52 glanced from the baby to me and exclaimed, "'See how he watches the light "'flash across your spectacles when you turn suddenly. "'Look!' "'But I was weary of babies. "'My friends had all grown up and married and inflicted them on me. "'There were storms of babies. "'I long for a place where they would be obsolete
Starting point is 12:21:11 "'and young, arrogant, impervious mothers "'might be a forgotten tradition. "'Lettie's heart would quicken in answer to only one pulse, "'the easy, light ticking of the baby's blood. i remembered one day as i sat in the train hastening to chering cross on my way from france that that was george's birthday i had the feeling of him upon me heavily and i could not rid myself at the depression i put it down to travel fatigue and tried to dismiss it as i watched the evening sun glitter along the new corns double in the fields we passed trying to describe the effect to myself i found myself asking but what's the matter I've not had bad news have I to make my chest feel so weighted. I was surprised when I reached my lodging in New Maiden
Starting point is 12:21:59 to find no letters for me, save one fat budget from Alice. I knew her squat sat an iron handwriting on the envelope, and I thought I knew what contents to expect from the letter. She had married an old acquaintance who had been her particular aversion. This young man had got himself to trouble, so that the condemnations of the righteous pursued him like clouds of gnats on a summer evening. Anis immediately rose to sting back his vulgar enemies, and, having rented him a service, felt you could only wipe out the score by marrying him. They were fairly comfortable.
Starting point is 12:22:35 Occasionally, as she said, there were displays of small fireworks in the backyard. He worked in the offices of some iron foundries just over the air-wash in Derbyshire. Alice lived in a dirty little place in the valley a mile and a half from Iberwich, not far from his work. She had no children, and practically no friends, a few young matrons for acquaintances. As wife of a superior clerk, she had to preserve her dignity among the workpeople. So all her little crackling fires were sodded down with the sods of British respectability. Occasionally she smouldered a fierce smoke that made one's eyes water. occasionally perhaps once a year she wrote me a whole venomous budget much to my amusement i was not in any haste to open this fact letter until after supper i turned to it as a resource from my depression
Starting point is 12:23:30 oh dear cyril i'm in a bubbling state i want to yell not right oh cyril why didn't you marry me or why didn't our georgie saxton or somebody i'm deadly sick percival charles is enough to stop a clock oh cyril he lives in an eternal sunday suit holy broadcloth and righteous three inches of cuffs he goes to bed in it nay he wallows in bibles when he goes to bed i can feel the brass covers of all his family bibles sticking in my ribs as i lie by his side i could weep with roff yet i put on my black hat and trot to chatapel with him like a lamb cyril nothing's happened nothing has happened to me all these years i shall die of it when i see percival charles at dinner after having asked a blessing i feel his almost never touch a bit at his table again in about an hour i shall hear him hurrying up the entry prayers always make him hungry and his first look will be on the table but i'm not fair to him he's really a good fellow only wish he wasn't it's george saxton who's put this sidelitz powder in my marital cup of cocoa cyril i must a tale unfold it is fifteen years since our george marion's a manorice marital cup of cocoa cyril i must a tale unfold it is fifteen years since our george marion's a manor's married make. When I count up and think of the future, it nearly makes me scream. But my tale, my tail, can you remember his faithful dog, wounded, stagged, gentle gazelle eyes? Cyril, you can see the whiskey or the brandy combusting in them. He's got DTs, blue devils, and I've
Starting point is 12:25:02 seen him, and I'm swarming myself with little red devils after it. I went up to Iberwich on Wednesday afternoon for a pound of fry for Percival Charles's Thursday dinner. I walked by that little path, which you know goes round the back of the hollies. It's as near as anyway for me. I thought I heard a row in the paddock at the back of the stables, so I said I might as well see the fun. I went to the gate, basket in one hand, ninepence in coppers in the other, a demure deacon's wife. I didn't take in the scene at first. There was our Georgie, in leggings and breeches as of yore, and a whip. He was flourishing and striding and yelling. "'Go it, old boy,' I said.
Starting point is 12:25:43 "'You want your stocking round your throat tonight.' But Cyril, I had spoken too soon. Oh, love. There came ricking up the croft, that long, wide-springing race-horse of his, ears flat, and, thinging to its neck, the pale-faced lad, Wilfrid. The kid was white as death and squealing.
Starting point is 12:26:02 "'Mam! Ma'am!' I thought it was a bit rotten of Georgie trying to teach the kid to jockey. The race-horse, Bonnie boy, I call him. came bouncing round like a spiral egg-wish. Then I saw our Georgie rush up screaming, nearly spitting the moustache off his face, and fetched the horse a cut with the whip. It went off like a flame among hot paraffin.
Starting point is 12:26:26 The kid shrieked and clung. George went rushing after him, running, staggering, and swearing, fairly screaming, awful, a lily-livered little swine. High-lanky race-horse went loropping round, as if it were going mad. I was dazed. Then Meg came rushing and the other two lads all screaming. She went for George, but he lifted his whip like the devil.
Starting point is 12:26:48 She don't go near him. She rushed at him and stopped, rushed at him and stopped, striking at him with her two fists. He waved his whip and kept her off, and the racehorse kept tearing along. Meg flew to stop it. He ran with his drunken, totter step, brandishing his whip. I flew as well. I hit him with my basket. The kid fell off and Meg rushed to him.
Starting point is 12:27:10 some men came running george stood fairly shuddering he would never have known his face cyril he was mad demoniacal i feel sometimes as if i should burst and shatter to bits like a skyrocket when i think of it i've got such a wheel on my arm i lost percival charles ninepence and my nice white cloth out of the basket and everything besides having black looks on thursday because it was mutton chops which he hates cyril i wish it was a cassowary or not on the banks of the Timbuktu. When I saw Meg sobbing over that lad, thank goodness he wasn't hurt, I wish our Georgie was dead. I do now also. I wish we only had to remember him.
Starting point is 12:27:54 I haven't been to see them lately. Can't stand, Meg's ickiness. I wonder how it will all end. There's P.C. bidding good night and God bless you to Brother Jakes, and those supper ready. As soon as I could, after reading Alice's letter, I went down to Iberwich,
Starting point is 12:28:12 to see how things were. Memories of the old days came over me again till my heart hungered for its old people. They told me at the Hollies that, after a bad attack of Delirium Terrenens, George had been sent to Papalwick in the lonely country to stay with Emily. I borrowed a bicycle to ride the nine miles.
Starting point is 12:28:32 The summer had been wet, and everything was late. At the end of September the foliage was heavy green and the wheat stood dejectedly in stoop. I rode through the still sweetness of an autumn morning. The mist was folded blue along the hedges. The elm trees loomed up along the dim walls of the morning. The hors chestnut trees at hand flickered with a few yellow leaves like bright blossoms. As I rode through the tree tunnel by the church,
Starting point is 12:29:00 where, on his last night, the keeper had told me his story, I smelled the cold rotting of the leaves of the cloudy summer. I passed silently through the lanes where the chill grass was weighed down with grey-blue seed-pearls of dew in the shadow, where the wet woolen spider-cloths of autumn were spread as on a loom. Brown birds rustled in flocks like driven leaves before me. I heard the far-off hooting of the loose-all at the pits, telling me it was half-past eleven, but the men and boys would be sitting in the narrow darkness of the mines, eating their snap, while shadowy mice darted for the crumbs, and the boys laughed with red mouths rimmed with grime,
Starting point is 12:29:39 as the bold little creatures peeped with them in the dim light of the lamps. The dogwood berries stood jointly scarlet on the head-tops. The bunched scarlet and green berries of the convolvulus and briny hung amid golden trails. The blackberries dropped, ungathered. I rode slowly on, the plants dying around me, the berries leading their heavy ruddy mouths and languishing for the birds. The men imprisoned underground below me,
Starting point is 12:30:07 the brown birds dashing in haste along the birds. the hedges. Twinshrit Farm, where the rentshares lived, stood quite alone among its fields, hidden from the highway and from everything. The lane leading up to it was deep and unsunned. On my right, I caught glimpses through the hedge of the cornfields, where the shocks of wheat stood like small yellow-sailed ships in a widespread flotilla. The upper part of the field was cleared. I had the clank of a wagon and the voices of men, and I saw the high, low, low, low, low, of sheaves go lurching, rocking up the incline to the stackyard. The lane debouched into a close-bitten field, and out of this empty land the farm rose up with its buildings
Starting point is 12:30:51 like a huddle of old painted vessels floating in still water. White fowls went stepping discreetly through the mild sunshine and the shadow. I need my bicycle against the grey silken doors of the old coach-house. The place was breathing with silence. I hesitated to knock at the open door. Emily came. He was rich as always with her large beauty, and stately now, with the stateliness of a strong woman six months gone with child.
Starting point is 12:31:23 She exclaimed the surprise, and I followed her into the kitchen, catching a glimpse of the glistening pans and the whitewood baths as I passed through the scullery. The kitchen was a good-sized low room that through long course of years have become absolutely a home. The great beams of the ceiling bowed easily.
Starting point is 12:31:41 The chimney-seat had a bit of dark green curtain, and under the high mantelpiece was another low shelf that the men could reach with their hands as they sat in the inklenock. There the pipes lay. Many generations of peaceful men and fruitful women have passed through the room, and not one but had added a new small comfort. A chair in the right place. A hook, a stool, a cushion,
Starting point is 12:32:05 a certain pleasing cloth for the sofa covers, a shelf of books. The room that looked so quiet and crude was a home evolved through generations to fit the large bodies of the men who dwelt in it and the placid fancy of the women. At last it had an individuality. It was the home of the wrenshaw's, warm, lovable, serene. Emily was in perfect accord with its brownness, its shadows, its ease. I, as I sat on the sofa under the window, felt rejected by the kind of room. I was distressed with a sense of ephemerality of pale erratic fragility. Emily, in her full-blooded beauty, was at home. It is rare now to feel a kinship between a room and the one who inhabits it a close bond of blood relation. Emily had at last found her place, and had escaped from the torture
Starting point is 12:32:58 of strange, complex, modern life. He was making a pie, and the flower was white on her brown arms. tickling hair from her face with her arm and looked at me with tranquil pleasure as she worked the paste in the yellow bowl i was quiet subdued before her you are very happy i said ah very she replied and you you are not you look worn yes i replied i am happy enough i am living my life don't you find it wearisome she asked pityingly she made me tell her all my doings and she marvelled but all the time her eyes were dubious and pitiful you have george here i said yes he's in a poor state but he's not as sick as he was what about the delirium tremens oh he was better of that very nearly before he came here he sometimes fancies that coming on again and he's terrified isn't it awful he's brought it all on himself tom's very good to him there's nothing the matter with him physically is there i asked i don't know she replied as she went to the oven to turn a pie that was baking she put her arm to her forehead and brushed aside her hair leaving a mark of flour on her nose for a moment or two she remained kneeling on the fender looking into the fire and thinking he was in a poor way when he came here could eat nothing sick every morning i suppose it's his liver they all end like that she continued to wipe the large black plums and put them in the dish hardening of the liver i asked she nodded and is he in bed i asked again yes she replied it's as i say if he'd get up and potter about a bit he'd get over it but he lies there skulking
Starting point is 12:34:53 "'On what time will he get up?' I insisted. "'I don't know. He may crawl down somewhere towards tea-time. "'Do you want to see him? That's what you came for, isn't it?' He smiled at me with a little sarcasm and added, "'You always thought more of him than anybody, didn't you?' "'Oh, well, come up and see him.' I followed her up the back stairs, which led out of the kitchen, which emerged straight in a bedroom. across the hollow sounding plaster floor of the naked room and opened a door at the opposite side george lay in bed watching us with apprehensive eyes here is cyril come to see you said emily so i brought him up for i didn't know when you'd be downstairs
Starting point is 12:35:36 a small smile of relief came on his face and he put out his hand from the bed he lay with the disorderly clothes pulled up to his chin his face was discoloured and rather bloated his nose swollen "'Don't you feel so well this morning?' asked Emily, softening with pity when she came into contact with his sickness. "'Oh, all right,' he replied, wishing only to get rid of us. "'You should try to get up a bit. It's a beautiful morning, warm and soft,' she said gently. He did not reply, and she went downstairs. I look round the cold, whitewashed room with its ceiling curbing and sloping down the walls. was sparsely furnished and bare of even the slightest ornament. The only things of warm colour were the cow and horse skins on the floor.
Starting point is 12:36:28 All the rest was white or grey or drab. On one side the roof sloped down so that the window was below my knees and nearly touching the floor, and on the other side was a larger window, breast-high. Through it one could see the jumbled ruddy roofs of the sheds and the skies. The tiles were shining with patches of vivid orange lichon. The aunt was the cornfield, and the men, small in the distance, lifting the sheaves on the cart. You will come back to farming again, weren't you? I asked him, turning to the bed. He smiled.
Starting point is 12:37:06 I don't know, he answered Dully. Would you rather I went downstairs? I asked. No, I'm glad to see you, he replied in the same uneasier. easy fashion. I have only just come back from France, I said. Ah, he replied indifferent. I'm sorry you're ill, I said. He stared unmovedly at the opposite wall.
Starting point is 12:37:31 I went to the window and looked out. After some time I compelled myself to say in a casual manner, when you get up and come out of it? I suppose I'll have to, he said, gathering himself slidded together for the effort. He pushed himself up in bed. When he took off the jacket of his pyjamas to wash himself, I turned away. His arms seemed thin, and he had bellied and was bowed and unsightly. I remember the morning we swam in the mill-pond.
Starting point is 12:38:02 I remember that he was now in the prime of his life. I looked at his bluish, feeble hands as he laboriously washed himself. The soap once slipped from his fingers as he was picking it up and fell, rattling the pot loudly. He startled us, and he seemed to grip the sides of the washstand to steady himself. Then he went on, with his slow, painful toilet. As he combed his hair, he looked at himself with dull eyes of shame. The men were coming in from the scullery when we got downstairs. Dinner was smoking on the table. I shook hands with Tom Renshaw and with the old man's hard, fierce left hand. Then I was introduced to Arthur Renshaw, and cleaned
Starting point is 12:38:46 faced large bashful lad of twenty i nodded to the man jim and to jim's wife annie we all sat down to table what an ardent feeling by now like asked the old man heartily of george you see we know answer he continued well i should a good up and come and give us an hand with the wheat he'd done thee good he'll have a bit of mutton won't you tom asked him tapping the joint with the carving-knife george shook his head it's quite lean and tender he said gently no thanks said george give him a bit give him a bit cried the old man it'll do him good it's what he wants a better strengthening nourishment no good if his stomach won't have it said tom in mild reproof as if he was speaking of a child arthur filled george's glass with beer without speaking the two young men were full of kind gentle attention they may have a spoonful of tunup then persisted to the old man i canna eat while his plate stands a-empty then they put turnip and onion sauce on george's plate and he took up his fork and tasted a few mouthfuls the men ate largely and with zest the sight of their grand satisfaction amounting almost augusto sickened him when at last the old man laid down the dessert spoon which he used in place of a knife and fork he looked again at george's plate and said why thou hastn't a smite not a smite how long goes there ain't roared to be better george maintained a stupid silence don't bother him father said emily ah that's an old whittle for either added tom smiling good-naturedly he spoke to his father in dialect but to emily in good english whatever she said at tom's immediate support
Starting point is 12:40:43 before saving us with pie emily gave her brother junket and damsons setting the plate and the spoon before him as if he were a child for this act of grace tom looked at her lovingly and stroked her hand as she passed after dinner george said with a miserable struggle for an indifferent tone aren't you going to give sir a little ice of whisky he looked up furtively in a conflict of shame and hope a silence fell on the room ay said the old man softy let him have a drop yes added tom in submissive pleading all the men in the room shrank a little awaiting the verdict of the woman i don't know she said clearly that sir at last i don't mind i answered feeling myself blush i had not the courage to counteract her will directly not even the old man had that courage we waited in suspense after keeping us flove for a few minutes while we smouldered with mortification she went into another room and we heard her unlocking her door she returned with a decanter containing rather less than half a pint of liquor we put out five tumblers i needn't give me nun said the old man i'm not a proud chap i'm not nor me neither said arthur you will tom she asked do you want me too he replied smiling adorn i don't She answered sharply. "'I want nobody to have him when you look at the results of it.
Starting point is 12:42:17 But if Cyril is having a glass, you may as well have one with him.' "'Omm was pleased with her. She gave her husband and me fairly stiff glasses. "'Teady, steady,' he said. "'Give that, George, and give me not so much. Two fingers, two of your fingers, you know.' But she passed in the glass. When George had had his share, there remained but a drop in the decanter.
Starting point is 12:42:40 Emily watched the drunken coldly as he took this remainder. George and I talked for a time while the men smoked. He, from his glum stupidity, broke into a harsh, almost imbecile loquacity. Have you seen my family lately? he asked, continuing. Yes, not madly set up, are they the children? But the little devils are soft, marred soft, every one of them. It's their mothers bring him up. She mired them till they were soft, and would never let me have a say in it.
Starting point is 12:43:10 I should have brought them a different. You know I should." Tom looked at Emily, and, remarking her angry contempt, suggested that she should go out with him to look at the stacks. I watched the tall, square-shouldered man leaning with deference and tenderness towards his wife, as she walked calmly at his side. She was the mistress, quiet and self-assured. He, her rejoiced husband and servant. George was talking about himself. If I had not seen him, I should hardly have recognised the words as his. He was lamentably decayed. He talked stupidly, with vulgar, contumely of others, and in weak praise of himself.
Starting point is 12:43:55 The old man rose with her, Well, I suppose him on me another daggered it. And the men left the house. George continued his foolish, harsh monologue, making gestures of emphasis with his head and his hands. He continued, when we were walking. looking round the buildings into the field, the same babble of bragging and abuse. I was wearied and disgusted. He looked, and he sounded, so worthless. Across the empty cornfield the partridges were running. We walked through the September haze slowly, because he was feeble on his
Starting point is 12:44:32 legs. As he became tired, he ceased to talk. We leaned for some time on a gate in the brief glow of the transient afternoon, and he was stupid again. he did not notice the brown haste of the partridges he did not care to share with me the handful of ripe blackberries and when i pulled the brownie ropes off the hedges and held the great knots of red and green berries in my hand he glanced them without interest or appreciation boys and berries aren't they he said dully like a tree that is falling going soft and pale and rotten clammy with small fungi he stood leaning against the tree that is falling going soft and pale and rotten clammy with small fungi he stood leaning against the the gate, while the dim afternoon drifted with a flow of thick, sweet sunshine past him, not touching him. In the stackyard the summer's splendid monuments of wheat and grass were reared in gold and grey. The wheat was lit a brightly round the rising stack. The loaded wagon clanked slowly up the incline, drew near, and rode like a ship at anchor against the scotches,
Starting point is 12:45:40 brushing the stack with a crisp, sharp sound. Tom climbed the ladder. Tom climbed the ladder. and stood a moment there against the sky amid the brightness and fragrance of the gold corn, and waved his arm to his wife, who was passing in the shadow of the building. Then Arthur began to lift the sheaves to the stack, and the two men worked in an exquisite, subtle rhythm, their white sleeves and their dark heads gleaming, moving against the mild sky and the corn. The silence was broken only by the occasional lurch of the body of the wagon,
Starting point is 12:46:11 as the Timer stepped to the front or again to the rear of the load. Occasionally I could catch the blue glitter of the prongs of the forks. Tom now lifted high above the small wagon load, called to his brother some question about the stack. The sound of his voice was strong and mellow. I turned to George, who also was watching and said, You ought to be like that. We heard Tom calling,
Starting point is 12:46:40 All right, and saw him standing high up on the top. tallest corner of the stack as on the prow of a ship. Short watched, and his face slowly gathered expression. He turned to me, his dark eyes alive with horror and despair. I shall soon be out of everybody's way, he said. His moment of fear and despair was cruel. I cursed myself for having roused him from his stupor. "'You will be better,' I said.
Starting point is 12:47:15 He watched against the handsome movement of the men of the stack. "'I couldn't team ten sheaves,' he said. "'You win in a month or two,' I heard. He continued to watch while Tom got on the ladder and came down the front of the stack. "'Nay, the sooner or I clear out the better,' he repeated to himself. "'When we went into tea he was,' as Tom said, downcast the men talked uneasily with abated voices emily attended to him with a little palpitating solicitude we were all uncomfortably impressed with the sense of our alienation from him he sat apart and obscure among us like a condemned man end of part three chapter seven end of the white peacock by d h lawrence

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