Cleared Hot - Powered By BRCC - Andy Vs. Michael - Round 4

Episode Date: February 2, 2024

We are back again with a role reversal, turning the microphone towards the man usually behind the scenes – show producer, Michael Shelton. I never know where these conversations are going to lead, since I am turning the questions over to Michael, a man with an internet search history that has likely landed him on a variety of watchlists. There was absolutely no structure to this episode, where we covered everything from professional slap fighting, whether or not it is useful to rais your voice at any time, sexual dominance, and parenting failures. It is always a wild journey, I hope you enjoy it. The Speed of War Comic Series: https://www.thespeedofwar.com/ Check out the newest Cleared Hot Gear here: https://shop.clearedhotpodcast.com/  

Okay, got to red smoke. Gun runs. North and south. West of the smoke. West up of smoke. Okay, Kathy, west of the smoke. I'm looking at danger close now. Come on winning, man.

Is this round four? Yeah, I think so. One of us should know. Probably round four. We'll just say this. This is round between three to five. Yes. Yes.

Indeed. All right, dude, you know the deal. I do. Okay, let's see. Let's see what I have. Are there bangers? Are these good ones? Like, what do we got?

Okay, I'm going to start off somewhat vulgar. Would you rather... Oh, yes. As a man... Yep. Have a vagina and get fucked by a man. Hold on. I have to understand the question begin with.

So I'm a man... Yes. So I still have my normal male bits and parts, but now I have, like, a vagina unlike my leg? Yeah, let's just, yeah. There's a vagina somewhere. Insta vagina somewhere on my body.

Place of my choosing? Sure. Okay. Or would you rather fuck a man with a vagina? So kind of just roll reversal. Okay. I mean, like, we'll get to the bottom of this question that I'm sure people right now that they're a burning desire to know.

Yeah. My question to you before answering this question is, where did this come from? I saw it. I don't remember where I saw it. But as soon as I saw it, I was like, oh, I need to write this down for Andy. What kind of stuff are you looking at? I think it was Instagram. You know what Instagram recommends to people.

I am convinced based off what I see in my feed. And I've actually been doing a really poor job of putting up people hurting themselves recently or getting hit. Yeah, you have. I am without. a doubt certain that every day in my Instagram feed I'm watching people die. Yeah. Have you seen? So I feel like it's totally, it has to be an automated system and maybe at some level

it triggers something. So I'm sure that this could slide by inside of Instagram. I don't think that they probably support or promote it. No, probably not. But it's possible. I am worried though, like I'm going to send your digital footprint up to the Deliver Fund people, Nick up at Deliver Fund. and I'm going to have them put you into the matrix.

I am concerned that you might be a felon in a variety of states. I've put my number into that number search thing. Yeah? Came up clear. Did you put your burner in there? Yeah, my cell phone I got two days ago. Yeah. I mean, the answer to the question is simple.

You have to be the one. You have to be the alpha. Yeah, that's kind of what I'm thinking. Yeah. I know that perhaps at times you consider, and perhaps even prefer bottom bunking. Right. That's my call sign.

It is. After all. And life's motto, perhaps, I think you just have to be the alpha. Yeah. I would agree. So if somebody's going to get fucked, good life advice, be the one doing the fuck. Yeah. Be the fucker, not the fucky.

Yeah. That's just, it's a good motto for life. Yeah. I don't know if that would trend well as a bumper sticker. I don't think I'll move forward with that as a clear-up. bumper sticker, but in general, when given the choice between action or reaction, always choose action. Take action.

Also, a little sidebar. Have you seen those memes where it's like, they're timing how long it takes, scrolling on Instagram to see somebody die? No. Yeah. So they'll switch to like the timer app, start it, go back to Instagram and scroll. And it's like eight seconds. and they see like a car crash.

No, it's going to be eight seconds depending on what's curated in your feed. Yeah, for sure. And here's how I know this. You should 100% not be looking at your phone when you're laying in bed. Oh, yeah. But I have seen some really funny and accurate memes

like marriage is laying in bed with your significant other, sending reels back and forth. Yeah. So, and this is, sleep has always been a tough one for me, so I'm actually really trying to sanitize the tail end of my day when it comes to screen time and a hard no, like one o'clock is as late as I'm going with caffeine.

I'm like no eating meals within three out because I just, I can't fucking sleep well a lot. But Leah and I will sit there and, you know, she'll ask, what time is it? I'm like, it's reals 30, obviously. She can make it through 45 seconds of what's curated in my feed. And she just says the same thing over and over again. Why? Why? Why are you seeing this?

It's like the worst car crashes where people are getting injected out. Oh, yeah, like horrible, horrible car crashes. A lot of them seem to be eastern block countries where these cars are just pancaked by semis. Or like Southeast Asia. Yeah. Yeah. So I know exactly why my feet is curated like that. Yeah.

Because I engage with those posts. Right. She will then pull up hers and it's otters. It's a lot of jujitsu stuff, which shouldn't be a surprise. Happier, less destructive, less trauma-inducing content. Yeah. Not people dying. Well, and my point in saying all that is I think a lot of these social platforms,

and this might be the slippery slope or the sticky, dangerous portion of these things that people don't realize, to include myself, it recognizes what you like. So it starts showing you more of what you like. Or if you go into it and you're looking for something and so then you start interacting with it, the algorithm is going to say this is what you like. So you're going to be able to find the things that you're looking for it. It's going to seem as if the system is a skew. So on my phone, first off, eight seconds, rookie numbers.

We can beat that right now. Oh, I don't doubt it. But that doesn't mean that that is what Instagram is like for everybody. No, no. So although I bet you that they were able to find it rapidly, I'd be very curious the person's history before doing that experiment on social media. Oh, yeah. Like, I'm sure they're already primed. Their Instagram is already primed to show them that because they interact with it.

Yeah, I wouldn't recommend anybody go through the reels that I get. But there is some of them, I mean, I've clearly reposted some that are on the front leading edge of what is acceptable on that platform. Some of them looking at like, wow. There must just be too many reels and information on this platform for anything other than a robot to catch this because that was a lot of people dying. Yeah. Yeah. So. Anyways, Instagram fun.

Yeah. You know, when I was asking Tom, the episode that came out this Monday, about how our world would be if all the social platforms shut, I've been thinking about that since I asked him that. I think it would cause a huge uproar and people would think that it would probably, it would interrupt some businesses for sure because I know a lot of companies, their whole marketing strategy now revolved around social media, which I'm not actually sure. I think the longer we have it, the less effective it is. I don't think it's a bad thing to maybe get some exposure, but I don't also think that social media is as effective from a marketing tool as it used to be. Yeah. But I think as a country, oh, man, I think it would be a net positive. Oh, absolutely.

We'd have to wade through, you know, about armpit deep shit to get to that point. But it would be better. Yeah. I wouldn't be against it. But I think I also think you should be free to go to whatever website you want. And so that's where... Yeah, but you're already free to do that now. There's a difference between that and social media.

So you long go to Instagram, right? And I'm not trying to shit on Instagram. It's just one that I think most people can identify and know what it is. You log onto Instagram and, yes, you have control over who you follow. But you see things outside of who you follow. And again, for anybody who thinks, like, if a service is free, you are the commodity. Your attention is the commodity. So you are being funneled towards advertising.

it, God damn. I don't actually want to go back and do any level of accounting on the number of Instagram ads that have got me. Because sometimes they show me stuff and I think it's a must need to have. Right. You know what I mean? You have to have it. The ironic part is one of the only ads that I've ever bought on Instagram was an ad that

reduces my time I use Instagram. And it works really, really well. Okay. But you go on Instagram, you are clicking on Instagram. There's a little bit of not being in control on the rest of the information you see. Going to a web browser and going from website to website to website is directly controlled by you. So they're similar, but they're not the same. Yeah, but I mean, I guess what I'm saying is once you go to Instagram.com, it's essentially the same thing.

Yes. Who does that, though, on a computer? Nobody does it. But that's essentially what you are doing when you open. the app. Yeah. It's just not in a browser. So that's why I said, I support the freedom to be able to go to whatever site you wish.

Yeah. But I also do agree. I think it'd be very positive to get rid of a social media. I agree. Okay. What else do you have? This is a more serious question. I mean, we've clearly started this episode that we're not going to be serious about anything.

Also, the previous three, I'm not sure or four, depending on what number of this is. I'm not sure we were serious on any of those. but tell me more, sir. But anyways. Yeah. How, I don't know how specific you can get on this, but rules of engagement. Yeah, it's an easy one. Were those, like, how limiting was that for you guys?

And did it make your job a lot harder? Did you come up with this question? Yes. What was your, what was the impetus behind it? What was the? I had read a book. a long time ago. Oh, I think it was actually American sniper.

Okay. That book. And if I remember correctly, there was like a blurb in there about rules of engagement. Yeah. And limiting effectiveness. Hmm. It's an interesting topic. It's not hard to, so rules of engagement, like you go over to a theater of war and I don't care what theater it is.

You're going to be governed by the, if you're in the military, the UCMJ, the Uniform Code of Military Justice. You're going to be limited by the Geneva Convention and people just go, just go, Google both of those and go to town if you want to. Then you're going to have theater-specific guidance. And that is actually, I would say, even outside of ROEs. An example would be the last time I was over in Afghanistan in 2010, they changed our ability to do night raids. Which if you think about that from maximizing your technological advantage, you get that guidance. And as somebody who has the ability with really expensive night vision goggles to turn the nighttime into day,

I've totally flipped the tactical advantage in your favor. And you're given guidance that says you're no longer allowed to enter into a structure at nighttime. Because in Afghanistan, one of the most offensive things you can do to an Afghan family male specifically is an unannounced, uninvited entrance into their house. So you can understand the reasoning. But then on the other side of that, your initial thought for most people is, aren't you putting American soldiers at risk? So that would be like theater-specific guidance. ROEs, rules of engagement. When can you, this is my description, not, maybe not doctrinal.

And people could go deeper into the weeds on this. But essentially an ROE is when can you take lethal action or actions that would result in the loss of life? And so the ROEs are always pinned in two things. inherent right to self-defense, right? And then hostile act and hostile intent. So you have the right to defend yourself. And inherent rights, that's an pretty easy one. So there's the inherent right to self-defense,

and what I should say is that's predicated on hostile act, hostile intent. Hostile act is very simple. Hey, there's a dude pointing an AK-47 at me and pulling a trigger. Hostile intent can get a little bit more, I don't want to say iffy because that's not the right word. what if you see a military age male that doesn't have a weapon but is carrying an ammo box towards a high ground position where you've already taken fire from yeah that is hostile intent if i'm in that situation i'm dumping that person right there yeah um roe's a couple ways that you can look at this the the way that i would advise people to not look at this is to look at them as a as restrictions, even though that's kind of what they are. They are setting for you, your left and right boundary,

which to me, I think is empowering, because now I know the exact playground that I have in front of me. And playground is probably not the best word for that. So people can say, oh, it really, you know, and I'm not saying that there could be theater-specific guidance that couldn't limit your effectiveness. But every time I've looked at ROEs,

and you really take the time to look at ROEs, what you have laid out in front of you are very black and white, left and right boundaries of what you can and cannot do. If you can define what those boundaries are, it really empowers you to get creative inside of them. So I've never looked at ROEs as being restrictive.

I've looked at them as being empowering. The more people know when they get to that edge, they can start to figure out ways to avoid getting to that edge. Yeah, okay. You know, like, even in theater-specific guidance, it's like, okay, we can't go into a compound, it said. We cannot make internal, we cannot internally clear a compound. It didn't say we couldn't climb up on ladders on the compound wall.

It didn't say that we couldn't take every tactical position under the cover of darkness and then wait for the lights to come up. So, you know, there are things that we weren't allowed to do. let's flip that. Let's start examining everything that we are allowed to do. And that's the way you can look at a lot of things in life like that. Like, oh, these are the rules. This sucks. It's preventing me from being able to do. And I don't know why I made that stupid voice. But, you know, it's preventing me from doing whatever it is that I would want to do. I'm like, okay, well, look at those rules and then figure out all the creative solutions inside of this. Instead of looking at these things is this is a list of only what I can't do, start creating for yourself or your organization or your team.

these are the things we can, right? You can totally view it in a different way. Some battlefield-specific theater guidance, it can get a little wonky and it can make it hard. Another good example from 2010 as well. It's called Civcast or Civilian Casualties. There was, and it's well publicized, a release of ordinance from an aircraft that has school bus. The school bus was thought to be full of terrorists. it was a wedding party.

There is no way and there should be no attempt to paint that as anything other than an absolute tragedy and catastrophe. Like you need to stand up in front of that and fucking own it. And there's no amount of money that's going to make those families whole. But as a U.S. government and the U.S. military overseas, like you have to do everything you can to try to write that wrong, even though there's obviously no way to bring people. back. The downstream effects of that was close air support was severely restricted beyond that because it was 2010, you know, by with and through. The emphasis was like more on the through. We want to put an Afghan face on a lot of these things. Civilian casualties have to be avoided at all costs. I remember early on after 9-11, if somebody came out of a building and looked at you funny,

you're like, we're just going to level the whole block. I'm not saying that we would do that. Yeah. But there probably wouldn't have been somebody who would have stopped you. If you're like, I'll take, I need some more AC130s. This guy is Winchester, which means he's out of, you know, how it surrounds in 40 millimeter and all these other things that they shoot. Just go ahead and cycle some more in it.

And we're just going to turn these big rocks and these little rocks, little rocks into dust. And somewhere in there is probably Osama bin Laden. So your enemy pays attention. and they realized it's a little bit safer to hide into structure. So they'd come out and they'd shoot and they'd go into a structure. And there's not a whole lot you could do about it. And that makes your job a little bit harder. But again, even inside of that, there were ways that you could clearly articulate the need to drop on a structure.

But you'd have to talk about it in terms of distance from other structures. This is a remote structure or something that's in the middle of the town. if it's the middle of town is probably impossible to drop. But you can talk about it from the terms of exigent threat. You can talk about it the terms of distance from the other structures. You could talk about it in terms of their not being a risk to civilian casualties, even though it's a tough one to really say with certainty. So again, there's your limitations. You have to figure out ways to work inside of them.

Yeah. Plenty of people think ROEs are restrictive. I think they're empowering. Okay. Yeah. I had never gotten a, I guess, firm answer on that from somebody who's, actually. It's almost like you're in your 20s and never been in the military.

Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, I don't know how. They didn't have that book at the library? They didn't, actually. No, they didn't. Fair enough. Okay. Let's see.

Did we talk about slap battle last time? Is this the UFC thing? I think UFC bought it. We did not. You know what I'm talking about, though. I think we should watch a few. I think we should. Let me pull it up.

No, I know exactly what you're talking about. I think they need to rename that. It's not Slap Battle. It's called voluntary TBI. Yeah. With no option to dodge. No, I don't understand the rule set because it seems like some of these people are out on their feet, but if they recover in a certain period of time, they're actually allowed to continue. Yeah.

And then some of them are straight, like seizing up and falling backwards, but yeah. It's bad. Yeah, let's watch a few of these because. This is not what I wanted to put up. Slat battle. You put it in a, that could be in a different thing depending on what browser in, you know. Back to your questionable search history. Oh, here we go.

Hold on. I think I've got it. Some of these hits, have you ever watched them in the slow-mo? Yeah, dude, it's crazy. The absolute deformation of the face. Oh, my God. This is probably not the... I don't think this is, like, the official.

Oh, my God. That one was pretty weak. So I think they're, it looks like they're wearing cotton in their ears, too. I'm sure that's to protect from, like, overpressure. during their, oh my God. I mean, that's a straight KO. Yeah. Well, and this just seems so much more dangerous than MMA.

I wonder if it is. I mean, you have no option to even try and get out of the way of this. So for people who are only listening, actually, this would be a good opportunity to go over and watch some of this. In this particular competition, it looks like there's a 55-gallon drum that is branded in between the two people. there were two full-size men. It looks like the person getting slapped has to kind of put their hands behind their back, almost like you would assume the position where you're going to get ready to get handcuffed. The other person, it looks like they have to wind up.

You can only use one hand. It looks like they can wind up, though, with their offhand. You know what I mean? And really rotate. So essentially, this is consensual slapping each other in the face as hard as humanly possible. Yeah. I don't ever want to tell anybody how to live their life. I really don't.

And again, like, is this my thing? No, that's an interesting, that was an really interesting stare off. Yeah, that guy looks like he only got fingertip. God. Oh, yep, there you go. Fell right over. So I'm not an expert in concussion or a brain injury, but if you go from a standing position and you fall backwards like that and you could tell that he was losing motor control,

So it's not because your brain is getting a Shiazu massage. It's not because you're like getting a nice little, you know, comforting jolt to your brain. I'm like, look at the, oh my. Here, let's go back. God. I mean, that's a straight case. That is a straightly out. Yeah.

I mean, is it different than boxing? I mean, is it? Yes, I would say because it's different in the format. Yeah. The expectation in boxing, though, is you're going to punch each other in the face. Yes. However. The difference is you get to compete as to whether or not who's going to punch and who's going to play defense.

Exactly. This is straight up, you're going to stand there. You have no choice. You don't? And I don't. God, I wonder. I have heard that there are people who have like just steel chins. But then you hear about those people.

Once they do get knocked out, they almost will turn into like a glass job. I've heard that. Yeah, I've heard that. And I'm sure that it has something to do with, again, the damage to the brain or the way that the electricity works. I mean, I don't want to tell people that they shouldn't do this. Yeah. But if my own kids were to say, hey, this is what I would pursue as an occupation, I would sit them down and, like, educate them as much as possible about brain injury.

Yeah. I mean, they are, because you're not, in this, you're not allowed to make even an attempt to dodge the impact. No, you have to take it. Yeah. And if you look at, like, a lot of MMA, there are some incredible highlight reels of people just getting completely kicked or punched into the next millennia. Yeah. But a lot of the time, some of the big hits, like they're moving away, you know what I mean, as the impact occurs? Have you seen this?

No. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, it's bad. It's pretty bad. Oh, yeah. This guy woke up about 18 years after this happened. Oh, God, I don't want to watch. Just skip it.

Scroll along. Is this the guy who'd hit him or is this just a... No. Yeah. I mean, oh, my God. Right on the nose. Yeah. Yeah, that one was bad.

And he started, like, seizing up after that. But here's the thing. It's bad. Both of those people are professional fighters. It's not the first fight they got into. They know the risk of the sport that they're getting involved in. Who knows their motivation? Maybe it's fame, glory, money, combination of all of those things.

Like, live your life however you want to. I would at least, I would rather watch that because it's two people who have done a fight camp, who have trained a long period of time in their life. And they're, they're like doing a puzzle in real time. Mm-hmm. The other one are two people standing there, and one of them is just going to eat a slap across the face. Yeah. And it's hard for me to watch because I feel like I'm just watching brain injury occur in real time.

And yeah, just, yeah, I agree with you. Like, I, obviously, MMA I love. And so it's, I like this a lot more than just a slap battle where you cannot. move. Plus, I don't, I mean, for the slap battle, like if you're a bigger dude, I mean, can you take? I don't even know, is it just genetics on how heavy of a slap? I mean, obviously the person hitting, there's accuracy involved in that and where they would hit, but I mean, how do you, how do you train for that? Do you just let your buddy slap you? I mean, seriously, like, how do you train for being on the receiving end of slaps? Just get slapped.

And again, I'm not here to, I'm not the arbiter of people's lives. Like, do whatever you want to do. Oh, yeah, for sure. I don't have any desire to watch that. No. Like, one of the things I like about jujitsu is it's a real world puzzle, but it's not ballistic, except for when we accidentally either headbutt each other and each other in the face. Which happens.

Yeah, I mean, I did about a month's worth of podcast with a black eye because Roy Singer is an absolute piece of shit and intentionally elbow me directly in the eyeball. He literally looked over at Leah and said, hey, watch this. Ugh, and hit me in the eyeball. I feel like that's an exaggeration. It's exactly what happened. And if he was here, I would tell him. No, it's a complete and total accident. But that's the cool thing is you can go, I mean, I'm joking.

I'm not mad at Rory at all. It's, like, I laugh. It's called the gentle art. And like half the time people are wearing, like, tape all over their fingers. And they're bruised up and like, my arm doesn't work. I would also say that about 90% of those, if not more, completely avoidable. I would agree. I would agree with that.

Yeah. A little ego involved, taking it a little bit too far. We saw that yesterday. I almost put one of my training partners unconscious. Yes. And I wasn't trying to. I'm watching him the whole time. Like, what are you doing?

We're talking a deep triangle. Arm across. It was really deep. I mean, you had that locked in. And underhook on the leg. Like, what are you doing? Well, he and asked Aaron Westfall had the same thing. It locked him up in a full triangle.

And he could, he can just take it. like his arteries must be hidden very very deep in his neck because he just cannot go unconscious I don't know but yeah I mean I guess I get it there's a spectacle hard for me to watch yeah hard for me to watch agreed yeah oh um so you are a buds instructor right perhaps depends on where the question's going Yeah. Well, so I've only seen you raise your voice like once. When?

And it wasn't like you didn't yell, but you got frustrated at Tyler for something. And I just happened to be at the house. That checks out. Yeah. I cannot imagine you yelling. I didn't yell the entire time. Okay. I was going to ask you because it, and is that normal?

As far as Bud's instructors, do they not yell a lot? or does it depend? There are a variety of characters and roles. When I went through, there were definitely the yellers. And then there were people who had talked to you

at a normal tone of voice. I was more scared of the people who had talked to me at a normal tone of voice. Because I don't know if you're anything like me, but as soon as somebody starts yelling at me,

all I hear is it just annoys me more than anything. You tune him out. It's so easy to tune somebody out who is yelling at you like that. What did Tyler do? This was recent. This was recent.

Oh, that's son of a bitch. I know what he did. It was something about... He didn't shovel the fucking driveway. Yeah, and he didn't lie about it, but he didn't tell the full truth about it. And you got mad at him. Yeah. This is a message out there to all of you thinking about having kids.

just don't. All right? You want to have kids? Borrow my kids for a weekend. You'll never have sex again for the rest of your life. I'm joking. Obviously, my kids are amazing. 23% of the time.

I mean, as you and I both know, I'm a tummy ache survivor. I had a tummy ache, but I was brave about it. A mild tummy ache. Yeah, but I was brave. Yeah. Takes an ibuprofen. I did.

I actually found a T-shirt that said, I had a tummy ache, but I'm trying to be brave. Ordered it immediately. As soon as it comes in, I'm wearing it. Dude, my stomach was fucked up. The staples were in for two weeks. I'm not supposed to, I wasn't supposed to lift anything.

Yeah. And we're having a crazy bizarre winter. We walked over here from the coffee shop. You're in a T-shirt. I'm in a T-shirt in a, like a super light Montana Knife Company flannel. It's like 40 right now. And it's going to be 40 for like the next eight days. Yeah.

So we got this crazy amount of snow, which needs to be shoveled. and I had, I'm not sure whether or not I was supposed to be shoveling or not, but I had shoveled the smaller amount of snow that had showed up earlier in the day. Yeah. And when I say shovel the driveway, I don't mean one eighth of the driveway. I don't mean a path to your car that allows you to get in your car and abscond and go to whatever the fuck your 18 year old brain wants you to do. I mean shovel the driveway.

So in that day, we got. a good eight inches. Yeah. You know, not a man's eight inches, which is like four. We're talking a solid eight. Kentucky eight. And so I asked Tyler to shovel the driveway because I don't know if people know this. Picking up a heavy shovel, which can be like 30 pounds, rotating and hucking it post-stomach

surgery is not optimal. So Tyler, like, no problem. Got it nailed. I would say one third of the driveway was actually shoveled. And by that I mean one third of the driveway was pushed over into the other two thirds, which now had a volume of snow that was double what had already fallen, took off, went to Jiu-Jitsu. I'll give me credit for that.

Calls me, because I get home and I was hot for sure. But I don't yell. I just... No. First off, if you're going to try to cut somebody, deep like a knife. You have to get their attention, right? And then just go to town. So we talked about his work ethic a little bit. We talked about, you know, he's living a kind of charmed life at the age 18, not responsible for a whole lot. He's got a lot of opportunity in front of him. And I,

and I want to be clear about this. I couldn't be more thankful that he is in that situation. I do worry sometimes about, am I doing too much, you know? And I, and I, I also, and I asked myself the question, what's worse? Doing too much or doing too little? And I don't have the answer to that, right? Because I think they net different problems, but does one net more problems or the other? So I get a hold of him on the phone and he knows he fucked up. He's like, yeah, but I'm going over to my girlfriend's house.

So he's thinking with his little head, not as big, which is basically the warning I give him every time he leaves. Think with your big head, not your little one. She's like, ha ha, that's gross, dad. I'm like, is it, though? Is it gross? You tell me if that's gross. It's gross, but yet you're off to see your girlfriend. Oh, and this is another thing he does.

And Leah has been on his ass. He wears pajama bottoms, a thin t-shirt, and a set of flip-flops in the winter. And he's like, hey, if your car broke down and you needed to walk somewhere, and of course, his answer is, why would that happen? Good point. 18-year-old brain, right? It's never happened before. Why would it happen? It's like,

yeah, absolutely. Yeah, so, yeah, I got into his ass a little bit. And, yeah, I remember exactly when you came over because we were continuing in that conversation. And there's no value in losing emotional control. There's no value at yelling at people. And I knew that before going to buds, but as a student, the people who yell, I don't give a shit.

I'm like, you're going to have to tell me again what you were just saying because I'm, Literally, it's like, wah-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-ha. The dude who will look at you and quiet, like, hey, just so you know, I'm going to fuck start your life right now. And I'm going to be here until your life is fuck-started, whether that's a minute or an hour or a week or a month, like, you're mine. I have a crown royal sack that I put souls in. And right now you have a spot on the Polar Express right here on my hip pocket. That guy scares the shit out of me.

So I wasn't trying to model that. I just remember when I went back as a Bud's instructor. And also, and I didn't understand why there were plenty of people who did want to yell. So that role, even like even if I had wanted to yell, which I didn't, that role was already full. I would actually say there was too many people. Positions of, what would be the best description of a bud instructor? It's a position of authority for sure. It's a leadership position for sure.

maybe the best description of it is it's very influential the people showing up there on their first day I can only describe myself so I showed up on seal training the first day and it was something that I had been thinking about every day for seven years and on the first day of first phase

the instructors come in and they're wearing these dumb green shorts with a stupid cotton blue shirt that says UDT seal instructor in gold over the left breast pocket pocket and jungle boots from the Vietnam era and wool socks that are pulled up and then rolled over down over the top of the laces it's god it's powerfully not hetero and uh you're looking at them as a student dude if they would have laid out uh there's a grinder right outside of the

classroom which is just a large open area it's concrete pad if they would have laid out that entire grinder full of coals and said, if you want to be a seal, you need to get across this and you're going to low crawl across your belly. I think most of the people in that room would have tried. Yeah. They're super influential. And you have to guard against that. And I think it fuck some people up. I think getting into positions like that, dude, I'll put it into an example that you and I will both recognize. I'm going to leave all names out of this. You ever met a black belt in jihitsu? That's a total asshole. Yeah. Nobody would tolerate that behavior if they didn't have

a stupid black belt or on their waist. Yeah. And it isn't a position of influence, especially as you start and it's your introduction and it's like, I don't know anything about Jiu-Jitsu, but that guy's belt, whatever this weird tree is that starts at the kids' belts, which I still can't understand. There's 18 versions of a gray and white belt. Yeah. It's like white, gray, gray, gray, gray, gray, white, orange. Like, uh, okay, I'm glad I started when I was 40. Yeah.

At the top of that is black. I mean, there's, there's stories of coaches in every sport, especially when it's a co-ed sport. Older, adult male coach, sexually abusing, sexually targeting, sexually predating towards young women. Those positions, they bend some people. And I don't know if there's a way to avoid that other than being very cautious who you allow into those positions or maybe even continuing to have an oversight or a selection process for that. But it was never lost on me the role that I held because I can still remember to this day, I went through, I started budd January of 1997. So 27 years ago. Yeah, that's a long time ago.

Yeah, it's longer than you've been alive. That is true. Yeah. Yeah. I remember how I felt when those people came in, and I've tried to never forget that. Even when it comes to your kids, I mean, don't get me wrong. And I don't want people to think that I am a walking failure. I think that's what people should understand about me.

I have fallen short of every standard that I have ever set for myself or other people. And I'm not saying, like, at all times, but I'll talk about emotional control. If you think I've never lost control my emotions, like you're losing the forest for the trees. I have yelled. I've said things I shouldn't say. I've said things in anger. I have done things that would cause people to question my integrity. I like lie, cheat, steal, like all of those fucking things.

Like I am not a perfect human being by any stretch. I just try to do the best that I can. So, yeah, I'm not a perfect parent. I have yelled at my kids. The one thing that I have done, and I actually had this conversation with Tyler the next day, and maybe this is the best beau to put on. that is in the morning. He was having breakfast, getting ready to go to college.

And I said, hey, you know what, man, I need you to understand something. I couldn't be more proud of you. And I'm sorry that I said some of the things that I did last night in the manner that I did. Because I don't want you to ever lose sight of the fact that I am going to be your biggest ally and advocate for the rest of your life. Like, nothing that you do is going to impact how much I love you. And I just told them the truth. I'm like, I mean, I'm going to, you know some of the shit going on. It's a season of stress in my life right now.

Some of that, there was a level of feedback that he needed to hear. And there was a level of it that had nothing to do with him. And I have to, as not only his dad, but as a fucking adult, address that. And people like, well, it's your kid. You don't need to do that. I'm like, no, you actually do. Yeah. Because they need to see that.

And we had a great conversation. in the morning. He had to get up and get ready to go to school. Huge hug. Told him that I love him and he was off. I'm like, I've done that with all of my kids and I will continue to do so. I'm not perfect and they need to know that too. So yeah, don't, you don't need to yell. If you actually, and for people who like, if you're in a place where you need to get somebody's attention, the quieter that you talk, the more they have to listen. And I'm not saying that. It's okay. Not literally. Yeah. What I need you to do is we're all going to die if you don't do these steps. It's like you don't have to yell. Yeah. You want to get a fuck out of somebody? I mean, tell them what you're going to do to them in a totally neutral total voice. We were discussing this in the way we were from the coffee.

So that's why I don't yell. Okay. Cool. Even when I want to. Yeah. Yeah, that's fair. I don't. I mean, I'm really never in situations where I feel like to lose.

I don't remember the last time I came close to losing my temper. I don't know if you have a temper. I really don't. I don't know if you're capable of losing your emotional control. Your spine is like that of a cooked spaghetti noodle, somewhere between five to seven minutes. Al dente. You just, but it's a good thing. Well, Leah says to people, well, maybe I shouldn't tell you what Leah says.

You can tell them off air. No. Or right now. Hypothetically, Leah tells people that you're trapped in a 40-year-old body. Oh, yeah. She's told me that before. Yeah, I was going to say you're an old soul. I'm not exactly sure if you've heard that.

No, you have, Tyler's kind of trapped into a 40-year-old soul, too. Yeah. I mean, he's, well, maybe mid-30s. I am a few years old. Yeah. Your head is on your shoulders well. It's better now than when I met you. If I had to pick a word for the first time I met you, I'd have been like, pussy.

Yeah, yeah. I was starting to transition out of that phase, but I... How'd you get yourself into it? I think I was just there. It's too much conditioner. Yeah, probably. It's all right. No, but...

We're sharpening you into the weapon that you didn't know you could be. I love that quote. You said that quote all the time. It's true. Yeah. The shit talking that you do now, I mean, it's not great, but it's getting better. For sure. You have some, it just cuts deep.

I'm like, yes. Yes. Perfect. Excellent. Now what you need to do is just emotional sabotage and set the battlefield so the next time you cut them, the bleeding can't stop. Like a tri-tip dager just leaves a puncture wound. A tritp dagger? Yeah, that doesn't.

What the fuck is that? It's a dager with a dagger or a sword or something. Hold on. D-A-G-G-E-R. Yes. How do you say that word? Dager. No.

How do you, you're supposed to say it? Dagger. Dagger. How do you say Apple? Apple. Okay. Now keep that inflection of the A and say dagger. Dagger?

There you go. I have to forcefully make myself do that. I mean, do we need to talk about all the other things you forcefully have to make yourself to? Okay, let's move on. How do you say it? Dagger. I don't know where that little accent comes from because I do it with bag. What?

Like a bag of groceries. Where does that come from? I don't know. Because I don't know if any of my siblings or parents do that. And you've never left the country, so there's no influence of a foreign language. Yeah, so I'm not quite sure. Beg?

Beg. Beg. It sounds normal to me. It sounds like I'm saying big. Say dad. Dad. Okay. It's that same inflection for bag and dagger.

Just think of that. Dad. Bag. There you go. Sounds weird. I'm going to keep saying beg. I don't even know where to go with that. All right. I'm learning things about you right now that are shocking to me. What else you got?

Okay. What is your opinion on the moon landing? Conspiracy theory. I mean, I guess it's possible. When did it happen? The 70s? 60 something? 60 something? No, 77 is when Star Wars came out. Two different things. Both have to do with moons, though. That is true. Quinn to the moon.

Yeah, well, it knows what I mean. I know. I've stopped correcting it too. You can almost put up their word salad. Yeah. 609. All right. So this is like, this is eight years before I'm born. I could see it going both ways.

Yeah. And I'm also pretty sure, though, and I can't point towards anything at this point. But like with the technology that we have available now, aren't we able to actually look at the moon and see the residual of us having been there, though? I think Not from Earth But I think Satellites orbiting the moon We can't point like the Hubble telescope

With that shit I don't know if the Hubble sees in the visible spectrum I mean I feel like If you went outside right now I think it's your butt hole if you bent over I don't know which direction you would point that And the cops might be called Because you're like

Trying to orient your butthole satellite Trying to get the right asthma But I mean Don't we have tools, though? Like, okay, maybe the Hubble doesn't see in the IRA spectrum. Like, don't we have the ability, though? Like, Japan just landed on the moon.

Yeah, I saw that. But that's, I mean, how? That's like 40 years later, 50 years later. People have a reason to distrust the government, because the government does distrustful shit a lot. Oh, yeah. But I also think that the government, and, well, no, I don't think it's the government that does some amazing things. organizations that are underneath the government umbrella, NASA being an example, is capable of doing some amazing things. I think it is entirely possible and probable that we did go to the moon.

Yes. Did we do everything that we said we did? I don't fucking know. But I think it's unlikely that we didn't go to the moon. Many other countries at this point, I think 40 countries have space programs at this point. I mean, what's wild is, if they were able to do it in 1969, I mean, dude, this phone could have made the calculations. I think there's more computing power in this phone than there was in the entire space shuttle. That's what I've heard.

Human beings are some amazing people, you know, and you look at like the Apollo 13 movie, which I'll just say is probably a documentary because I'm under the impression that Tom Hanks did in fact go to space. like they were solving complex problems in real time not only from like the air filtration system or running out of our they weren't running out of oxygen i think they were having problems scrubbing their CO2 but asthma corrections and all like that stuff it's amazing um i think we went and i don't have any debt to support it but i also don't i don't fault people for thinking the government is distrustful because they keep doing distrustful shit exactly yeah and i'm about 85 15 85 we went Yeah. When you listen to that other 15, what does it say to you? So, one, we were in a heated race with the Soviets to win. What's changed. Right. Yeah.

And they were beating us in everything as far as space goes. Yeah. And then all of a sudden we go, nope, we won. We got to the moon. We won. And it's like, okay, well, first of all, why is that the finish line? That doesn't make any sense. And why did they stop?

Yeah. And then we just like, oh, okay. Yep, we're done. I mean, the atomic race, we got to the bomb first, but it didn't stop anybody else. I mean, I understand I'm comparing apples and bowling balls here, but I mean, fuck, they had already devoted so much into it. I wonder why they just didn't go. I don't know. Maybe they did.

Unless it was, well, shit, look that up. I don't think they ever went. Unless there was a technology gap that they were unable to bridge. Ever land on the moon. I feel like they've put unmanned stuff up there. No. No. No.

Wow. Oh, cosmonauts didn't. Cosminute. Right. You can't be trusted to say any English word correctly. That's cosmonute. Okay, whatever. Let's move on.

All right. Possible designs for that. Scroll down. Scroll down. The Soviet Union performed the first hard mood landing. In air quotes, hard meaning the spacecraft intentionally crashes into the moon at a high speed with the Luna 2. Oh, so they actually, all right, so they fucking threw a dart at the moon in 59.

technically got there before us. A feat the U.S. duplicated in 1962 at the Ranger 4. I mean, I guess that makes sense. Do we even have the shit that could get something there? Yeah. The other thing, though, I think about it is why have we only now just started to go back? I mean, I guess there's no need to. Right.

And the moon is a great launching point. Well, you have to have, if we can't do things sustainably to the mood, then Elon and his ideas for Mars. Mars. You know what I mean? It's kind of pointless to plan. If we're going to become an interplanetary species, we're going to have to probably demonstrate our ability to do so at the closest viable option. Yeah. I guess what I'm saying is, so we supposedly go to the moon in 69, the man on the moon, and then we just stopped trying to get to the moon ever since then. And then now, I mean, there might be nothing on there's no years later. I mean, yeah, there's not, but you would I don't know.

Well, so I think about it like this. I mean, there's the other side of that coin. We make it there in 1969. We barely have the fucking technology, right? We're like chewing bubble gum and putting it in holes in the spacecraft to get at home. So we barely have the technology to get there. I'm going to say we probably didn't have the technology to do anything with anything we might have found there. But now maybe we do.

Because we keep having rovers and stuff go to Mars. Have you ever looked at some of those images from Mars, which I'm sure people are like, bro, you should look into that. They're fake. And maybe they are fake, but I like looking at it. Looks like a desert. Yeah, pull that shit up. It's, you know, so six, how long?

God damn it, we need Glover here. It would be 24 years plus 31, what is that? 54 years. Yeah, so 54 years ago, I mean, what did we have the technology to do? I don't think a lot in comparison to right now. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's. But we know what's on the moon.

So now maybe the resurgence in wanting to get there is because there's things there that now we could utilize because our technology is up. Yeah, it's very possible. Pull up one of those, like make one of those Fuck, half of these are AI generated. I can already do it. Like that one? This one. I don't know. The pictures That rover looks fake.

Yeah, it kind of does on this. Well, yeah, that's fake. I feel like, God damn it. Dude, in 10 years, how are we ever going to know the difference between a real image and a fake one? It's already really, some pictures are really hard to tell. Yeah. Like the image I'll probably use for this episode. Yeah. Don't tell me. I want to be surprised.

You want to be surprised? A journey of exploration on Friday? Okay. That's fair. What else you got? We got time. One more. Actually, how long we've been at this?

How much we were? 50 minutes. All right. God, these go longer and I thought. They go quick. Yeah. How about, oh, this is just kind of a curiosity,

kind of a dumb question, but a little curious. So like when you're training, like doing boot camp or buds or something, what do you, like, if you have to go to the bathroom, You just go. Or is there like a bathroom break system?

I have watched a man shit while doing a four-mile time run, hopped on one leg and kicked it out of his fucking pant leg. I've seen it. Yeah. It was directly in front of the Hotel Del Coronado, which is an experience that I don't think the guests at the hotel had signed up for. I would say, wager, no. There's people who, so the Silver Strand is a section of beach in Coronado. The Hotel Del Coronado is an amazing hotel.

It's not very, they've added additional stuff too, but the initial hotel itself is like showing up in movies from like the 50s and 60s. Okay. One of the first evolutions you do in Hellweek is called rock portage, where they get those boats that are on their heads, which are called IBS inflatable boats small. They do basically where you row in and you portage the rock from the water

onto the rocks and over to the beach. People are sitting there what. It's like they know what's going to happen and you're entertaining hotel guests. So, like, you do a four-mile run. If you're going north, you go towards North Island and you come back. You basically start at the Buds compound. You turn around just before the North Island Gate, I think, and come back.

Public beach the entire way. So you're doing a timed evolution in buds. Like, sometimes jumping over motherfuckers laying on beach towels. So this guy is running, and you see him, like, hopping, and he's doing the snap kick. And a full trouser trout just ejects, right? Like a fucking brown python is like, coming to get you. Most of the time,

there is time in between evolutions where you will have time to do so. In boot camp, if it's an emergency, I think you can raise your hand. But like you're in the water so much in buds. Like if you need to take a piss, just wait to the next time. And if you need to take an aqua-duce, just get after it, you know?

Okay. And I think that's probably like a good educational point to end people on. Yeah, for this Friday. You close it out. Go ahead. What do you want people to know, Michael? Honestly, I, nothing. You want people to know nothing. Yeah. I literally have nothing.

All right. Go listen to this episode. So Michael has nothing. I mean, honestly, that could be your ethos. I have nothing. It could be a positive. Upstairs are down. Would you rather have a huge IQ or a huge cock? If I have a huge IQ, what size is my cock? Baby carrot.

So nothing's changed. That's a better ending. And we're off.