Cleared Hot - Powered By BRCC - Cleared Hot Episode 106 - Q and A Part 1

Episode Date: December 10, 2019

I'm doing my best to play catch up on Q and A, it has been a few months.  This is part 1 of 2.  Part 2 will come out next Monday.  Advice for reducing anxiety, EDC (every day carry) and additional tools to make yourself "bulletproof," How civilians can make real, positive, personal, and impactful efforts to help transitioning veterans, Essentials and packing tips for any trip.  Enjoy

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cleared hot. That's k-e-e-p-s dot com slash clearedhod for your first month of treatment for free. And that's all, before we begin this podcast. This is going to be Q&A Part 1 because I am behind on my Q&A. And I try to pick questions that are not all similar, not all from the same general area. And I'm sorry if I didn't get to your question. This week will be Part 1. Next week will be Part 2. And then we're going to go and have some conversations with individuals.

But let's get through Part 1 first. Clear Dot episode number 106, Q&A, Q&A. part one. Away we go. Okay, copy. West of the smoke. I'm looking at danger close now. All right, away we go.

I selected one, two, three, got I'm going to read down here. Three, four, five questions. And like I said in the intro, I hope I did a good job of varying the topics. And I actually wrote down the usernames or what would it be called, the screen names of those people who reached out.

And these are all coming from Instagram. So here we go. Question number one comes from actual underscore Jonah underscore. I am still early in my BJJ journey. And if you don't know what that stands for, it's Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. And I was just wondering, do you have any quick tips to reduce anxiety before BJJ practice? I absolutely love Jiu-Jitsu, but I can't help shake. the pre-roll jitters. Thank you for your service. Well, first off, you're very welcome. It was my pleasure,

and I wish you could do it again. And before I answer your question, let me just start up by saying, I am also still incredibly early in my BJJ journey. I have been at this for, I think, 16 months, and I just received my Blue Belt. So for the people listening to this, that is the level of experience that I have when answering this question in the lens through which I view this particular activity. And unfortunately, I have to ask you a question back first, and then I have to make some assumptions.

But if you were to ask me this in person, what I would say to you is, what is it about rolling that gives you the jitters? Because I'm assuming, based off the phrasing of your question at the end, the pre-roll jitters, I go based off of my experience. So the way that the class structures or the classes are structured at SBG as we do we'll do an hour-long class where we're not rolling

in class but we will drill often and I suppose that could be viewed as a as a form of rolling but I would say that's just practice with some intensity with the focus on the proper technique after that hour-long class then there's open mat where five minutes on one minute off a rolling clock for an hour high five fist bump And then you roll. So I'm assuming because you said at the end the pre-roll jitters, I'm assuming you're talking about that aspect, the rolling in general. So my first question to you, had you asked me this in person would be, what is it about the rolling that gives you the jitters?

Is it a competition anxiety where you're just, you are not used to that setting where you're competing against somebody else? Or is it performance anxiety? Like you're not worried that you have the capacity to perform. And if it's either of those, I would say just keep going with what you're doing and just keep rolling and you're going to be fine because it's going to improve with time. So if you answered that it was one of those two, I'd say, hey, just keep rolling. If it wasn't one of those two, what I would ask you is, do some people give you more jitters and anxiety than others? And if you said yes, and I, I don't know, I suspect that we all have this.

I can only speak for myself. but there's just some people where inside you're like, oh, damn, I know I might get smashed by this person or I don't know, you have some level of fear or hesitation when it comes to rolling with them. And I would say as long as it's not a psycho

or a fear of being injured, then what you should do and what I try to do or roll with those people as often as possible. That's where you're going to have the most benefit to your game. And I actually think that that advice applies to life in general.

You need to or should or as often as possible go towards those things that make you uncomfortable. If you spend your time on what you're not good at, you're going to improve. If you spend your time on what you're already good at or what could already be considered as strength, in my opinion and what I have seen through my own eyes, you're going to stagnant and inhibit your performance. So choose progress over being stagnant. back to the jiu-jitsu world not only if maybe it's an individual that gives you the jitters maybe they're way better than you and you're just worried about the outcome

cool go ask them if they can roll go ask them if they can roll over and over and over and over again until there's somebody else that gives you more jitters than them and then go to that person and repeat that and for me one thing that I did and try to continue to do if there's a position that makes you uncomfortable you should live there. If you're not comfortable being in Mount Bottom, then that's where you should spend your time. Or another way that you could think about this

is ask yourself, where do I suck from the most and just live there? So that's how I would answer your question. Actual Jelma. Hope it helps. All right, question number two. Comes from Jimmy Jones, 8795. I wish I knew what those numbers meant. I never, like for me, when I put 212 on mine, that's my buds class number.

The reason I did that is because somebody has Andy Stumpf on Instagram. I'm going to find you, wherever that is, and I'm going to get it back at some point. But I digress. Jimmy Jones, 8795, your question is, EDC, which stands for everyday carry, is only part of a solution. How would you make yourself bulletproof outside of the bubble? I reference previous podcast guest, and I think he's probably referencing Tonya. Blower, which is one of my early episodes.

That guy is a stud. I think he was episode number four. Here we go. EDC, like I said, stands for everyday carry. And I'm pretty sure most people consider that to mean a gun, but some people also talk about EDC in terms of their knife. And for me, either

definition works, because in my mind, both of them are a tool. And I think it's important to point out because in the question you said, EDC is only part of the solution, that is potentially possible, but it can also be part of the problem. It is very possible that you could be a danger and threat, not only to yourself, but to everybody else around you. If you choose to carry a weapon, and we'll talk about that broadly, that could mean a knife or a pistol, and you're current and you're competent in whatever application

that you feel that you might have to use that in your everyday carry, I think that is great. If you choose to carry a weapon and you are neither current nor competent, that is extremely problematic. It is a tool, and that tool is limited by the individual who holds it in their hands. It is, of course, capable of solving problems, and that I hope people inherently and intuitively realize it can also create massive, complex, legal problems as well. It's not just a solution. It also can be part of the problem. Introducing a weapon into a violent or potentially violent situation is not always a positive.

In addition to be current and competent, I'm going to add one other piece to that. You have to be, or you need to be mentally prepared to use that tool and comfortable with any of the potential legal outcomes. The time for you to have doubt and your currency and competency and the legal right to use it is not when the moment occurs that you should be using it. Think through all of the possible scenarios, all of the reasoning that you have for why you want to carry and ensure that you are comfortable with the potential outcomes. But none of that answers your question. So let me actually get into your question here. So how do you make yourself bulletproof? I would say that as an individual, you cannot.

You are going to have holes in your game. They might be small. Obviously, you want to avoid gaping in massive holes, but they're still going to exist. I don't think it's possible for any one person to become bulletproof. But you could definitely stack the odds in your favor. And in my opinion, the best way to do that is through your situational awareness. And the way that I would prefer, at least in this context or conversation that you think about that,

is doing everything and anything possible to avoid being ambushed. And that doesn't mean a physical ambush. Like all of a sudden you're walking out to your car and you're getting shot at. I mean even a mental ambush. Try to avoid getting yourself into a situation where you have to make critical decisions. Try to read the environment and the people that are around you and see things coming before you have to make a snap decision. And before I go any further, I'm pretty sure I've said this before,

but I personally believe that there is a fine line between being prepared and being paranoid. You need to aim for the former, and I would avoid the latter as best as you possibly can. It is currently, from a statistical perspective, the safest time to be a human being alive on planet Earth. And I don't think that that should be forgotten. having said that, I'll be the first to tell you that evil does exist and that not everybody is a good person. And you shouldn't forget that either. So what can you do about that?

Like I said, an ambush is not just physical. It could be mental in nature too. So if you pay attention to your surroundings and avoid what you can, and let's talk about things that are really easy to avoid. Somebody cuts you off in your car. And what do you want to do? that's right you want to drag them out of their car and beat them to death or maybe that's just me but i don't do that because i don't want to go to jail and let's be honest it's not worth it maybe that other person is also having a bad day and you know what if you run up on somebody's car

maybe that person to go reference the previous oh actually it's this topic i was going to say it's the previous the old edc you never know what that person is prepared trained current incompetent for could be a very bad decision. So what's the best thing to do when somebody cut you off in traffic and you're super pissed off? That's right. Absolutely nothing. Or how about street fights or bar fights? I'm not going to say that I've been around a bunch, but what I will tell you is this.

Every single one that I have seen or been proximal to was avoidable. Every single one. Same thing with verbal altercations. Everything that I just listed, the road rage, street fights, bar fights, and verbal. altercations are incredibly avoidable. So avoid them. And a key to that to avoiding those is don't be an asshole. But if people are being an asshole to you, walk away. There are no legal repercussions to walking away when somebody is being an asshole. If you go the other direction with that, you're rolling the dice a little bit. So not everything's avoidable. I understand that. Some of you're

probably yelling at your phone or radio. I get it. It's not all avoidable. So what can you do? Well, there's some things that you can do inside of structures, right? You can look at the architecture a little bit. Most buildings, I'm assuming all of them, have exits. They have an ingress and an egress route. And instead of putting your back to those things, put your eyes towards them. So maybe you'll see something before you have to make a decision. Because if your back is to it, you might metaphorically and physically be ambushed, physically and mentally, right? So avoid that. And again, you don't have to be paranoid. It just is going to increase the situational awareness of what's going on in that particular room. So we talked about things that are avoidable.

The structural stuff, I mean, honestly, I don't even want to go deeper into the structural stuff. I just paying attention to the environment that you're in and knowing the most expedient route to leave might be the number one thing that you need to worry about. But then you have to actually talk about violence because it's not always completely avoidable because there are evil people out there and there are people who are in the middle of a mental health crisis or they're just mentally damaged and they may not have the same moral or social barriers that you do. My recommendation to you to prepare yourself for that is to not let your first encounter with violence be on somebody else's terms. You're not going to tap into

some mythical beast mode. I have heard people describe this as, oh, you know, I don't need to really worry about it because, you know, when I get in that situation, I'm just going to go full ghetto on their ass. Or I'm just going to go beast mode. Or like, they're going to have some heroic Herculean effort and I have not found that to be the case.

So what I would recommend is exposing yourself to violence in a controlled setting. And if you do that, and you can choose the route with which you do, that. I will tell you, but I am biased because I'm a huge fan of Brazilian jiu-jitsu. That is a great way to expose yourself to violence and environment where you can go very hard and walk away with no injury whatsoever, and you can learn a lot of important lessons. One of the ones you're going to learn or at least develop an understanding in yourself is the physiological response that you're going to get the first time that somebody physically tries to do something to you and you can't

stop it or you have difficulty stopping it. You're going to understand your limitations as well. You're people oftentimes talk about cardio and strength and both are important but if you're actually in a fight you're going to need both and your one rep max deadlift at a low heart rate is not your one rep max deadlift at a maximal heart rate and people need to understand that to me your true one rep max strength is the amount of weight that you can lift at max heart rate because i want to prepare myself for worst case environment and in my worst case environment, I'll probably be near maximum heart rate, and I want to know what level I can perform at there. I guess what I'm saying is if you want to close the last holes in your game, if you, you know, you do go the

EDC route, you know, that's great, currency and competency there, you are focusing on situational awareness. To really start closing some of those holes, you need to become proficient at violence so that you never have to use it. But if you do, you are actually prepared. What I have seen with the people who are capable of the most violence is that they are the least likely to use it because they have nothing to prove, and they're also not scared.

And they see those situations and those encounters for what they actually are, which is a waste of your time and a legal risk. So just food for thought. All right, question number three, and this one hits relatively close. to home or right in the 10 ring or I guess it would be the X ring. Dudley will probably correct me. Son of a bitch. For my current situation, this comes from Jamie underscore Vanelles. Sorry if I said your last name wrong, buddy. My wife and I are getting divorced and we have two young kids,

one and a half and three and a half. Any advice on how to reduce the impact on the kids? Before I say a damn thing about this, I am not an expert on this at all. And I'm not a therapist, and I'm not a counselor, and I'm not even, I can't even approach any of those things. So I am talking completely out of my ass at this point from my own experience. And I probably should not even answer this question, but I'm going to try because I'm seven months into a divorce. And I have three kids, and they're 16, and they're 14, and they're 11. And it's the most brutal thing that I've gone through. And that's about as detailed as I'm going to get on my own personal situation because I am not,

one of the rules I set for myself is that I'm not going to talk about it. Specifically, it's not just going to be me talking about it because that is not fair. It does not involve only me. And if I ever do talk about it, there will be other people who are directly involved in the situation talking about it with me. That is the only fair way to do it. But I digress. So any advice that I might have, here we go. Take this with a grain, please. From what I've experienced, And again, my children are older. I have two teenagers and my daughter is right around the corner from being a teenager. I think that you may have the opportunity to not have an incredible impact on those kids.

And I say that because I'm not sure what they can process and remember at that age. I look back at myself and I remember nothing from that age. But having said what I just did, what I will say is this. they will likely see and hear more than you would ever want them to. So you have to remember that at the end of the day. And you probably would be better served if perhaps you treated them as if they were a little bit older and created some behavior boundaries inside of that, as if they had a very good and high-level processing and memory circuit board

with which they were recording and analyzing every interaction between you and your current wife, and hopefully you guys can work it out, and she won't become your ex-wife. What I will say is this, if you two have issues, you and your wife have issues, do not address them in front of the kids. That right there is probably my biggest personal regret. My kids have heard and seen far too much, far than I would, far more than I would have ever, wanted them to. And it is something that weighs on me every single day. I also don't think there's anything that I can say to you that is going to make this easy. I think the truthful statement that I could make to you is that it's going to suck. It's going to be incredibly difficult.

And I look at my own situation. Each of my children, they are handling it and they're processing it differently and it is absolutely and utterly heartbreaking. Regardless of how upset you may be, or regardless of how far into a corner that you may get pushed, if and when you want to say something mean, don't do it. And if and when you want to say something that is spiteful, don't do it. If and when you want to say something that is hurtful or petty, do not do it. And if one of you hurts the other one and you feel like revenge is the best option, don't do it. That is the best advice that I can give you and especially don't do it in front of your kids. Marriage is a legal term. You can change that and it sounds like you've gone down that path, but your children are tied to you

through your DNA and that's for life and you have to remember that. And hopefully that's how long that you want to be in their life and be in their life in a positive, constructive, empowering way. Not as a memory of somebody that they don't want to have anything to do with for the rest of your life. Be as compassionate as caring as possible and put the kids first. I honestly, I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to forgive myself for what my kids were exposed to. And that is my fault. That's on nobody but me. So try not to repeat my mistake. I promise you your life will be better for it. Question number four. I actually don't know how to say this. The first word I got, obviously, it's hunting underscore air rate. That's how I want to say that. A.R. E.T. Or is it a reet. I don't know. Damn it. Hunting a rate. Andy Stumpf. Many military personnel in Australia face the same issues and difficulties those in the USA face upon retirement or discharge. I would imagine that to be the case. How can civilians make a real positive and personal effort to reach out and

help these men and women. Excellent question. And I get versions of this from time to time. This is my personal opinion. But this is how I think veterans should be handled. First and foremost, you have to allow them to stand on their own two feet. There are many differences, and they are huge differences between military service and civilian life. But the military member, it is incumbent on the military member to recognize this and commit to bridging that gap. The military member should be moving to close that gap, not the other way around.

They both could be working on it, right? The civilian sector and individuals, they can be walking towards each other. But if there is one of those parties that is walking faster or covering more ground, it should be the military member. Because in my opinion, the worst thing that anyone or any organization can do

is make excuses for military members or their behavior. They will have the tools leaving the military service to thrive, but they have to want to be able to use them. Not to want to be able to use them. They have to want to transition. They have to want to use those tools. That's not always going to be easy, and there will be people who need help.

And if you are around an individual that needs help, I think the most important thing that you can do is show them that you are there and that you care and that you're willing to help. Show them the path. Point them in the right direction, but do not walk that path for them. At least in the United States, there are countless organizations that exist for mental health, monetary, financial issues, occupational, therapy, occupational training and support. Countless organizations.

Help them find one that can address the issue that they may be having. So that's pointing them in the right directions. And if you want to go further than that, help those organizations. Volunteer with your time or volunteer with your money if you have the ability to do that. Let these individuals, let these veterans know that you are available and that you actually mean it. So if they call you and they need help, you are actually there to help them. And that's at an individual level. And aside from that, and hopefully in addition to that, there's organizations.

And I guess when I'm thinking about organizations, I hear this often. I've heard veterans complaining about the hiring process because they think that they should just be hired turnkey because they're a veteran. And what I'll say is just because somebody is a veteran, or actually let me go back a step, do not hire somebody just because they are a veteran. Because the term veteran is a description of a job that was previously held. It is not a character reference. You need to select and screen your people, your veterans that are applying, as you would any other candidate. and preference in hiring should not trump any red flags that you may encounter in that interviewing process.

If you encounter red flags, they have to be addressed. They're not going to go away on their own. If anything, they're going to grow if you hire that individual into your organization and you don't address them up front. Let people who need your help know that you are there for them. Let them see you being there for them. And then with that, set boundaries and expectations. do not want more for people than they want for themselves and do not let yourself be fooled

into thinking that the term veteran is a superpower or a character reference. There's still a human being at the end of the day. All right, last question for today, because like I said, next week, we'll do round two. This comes from the dot josh.banner. And I bet you, the reason that you went with that name is that somebody had Josh Banner.

So I like where your head's at. Good lateral, or audible, I guess it would be. This is definitely a different question. What is the process? What is? Oh, actually, I didn't even read this thoroughly. You worded this poorly, but I'm still going to answer it. I'm going to assume you meant what is your process for packing for a trip or a hunt.

For example, checklists, breakdown of bags, what makes the cut and doesn't, etc. I would think in your previous career and how much you travel, now you must have sort of process. Well, in my previous career, I can tell you what. It was checklist base. because they would have a packing list for every deployment. But those were the baseline minimums, so you definitely ensured that you had those, but you could add on top of those.

And I almost always did, because if you have the ability to go above and beyond, baseline minimum in the military environment, I highly recommend that you do. For my trips now, the way that I pack. I'll start with a hunt. I pack my bags for a hunting trip very similarly to how I used to get my...

gear ready overseas when we were going to go out the door. I lay out everything that I know that I'm going to need and then I pack it all in one bag. So I know that if I have that bag, at least somewhere in that bag are the items that I'm looking for and I don't have to worry about looking for them in different locations. The reason that parallels my old job is that I would lay everything out that I was going to wear and then once everything was on my body and that area where the gear was laid out was empty. I knew I had everything, and I didn't have to worry about,

oh, man, did I remember my extra batteries or fill in the blank? I knew I had it all, and that's more for me, was packing my mind. I'm going to be okay most of the time if you forget an individual piece of gear, but I hate lingering doubt in the back of my mind, and even more than I hate questioning myself.

So that was the best way that I was able to pack for operations, or prepare for operations, I guess it would be. And for hunting, I just do exactly the same thing. I try to think about every possible thing that I would need for a hunting trip. I find a bag big enough to hold it all and stuff it in there. So then I'm really just worried about one thing when I'm out the door. It's that bag. And then if I have to, I can dump the thing out like a psychopath and look for the one item that is, of course, in the bottom and stuffed in the corner every single time.

But at least I know it's there. And then now for when I travel on the civilian side of the house, I really go for just, taking the essentials and I still end up overpacking every time. I just did a five-day trip to Asia and I probably wore one third of the clothes that I took with me, but I only took half as much as I normally would. I'm slowly and consistently refining what it is that I need. The beauty of the civilian travel is that there's stores everywhere. And I forget something every single trip and for whatever reason for me it's almost always socks. I don't know what my deal is with that. And I stopped caring because there's a place where I can get socks. Most of the time it's the airport.

And I don't have to worry about it. So civilian traveling, I don't make lists. If it's a professional trip, I just start and I make sure that I have the professional items that I need. Like for this last trip, it was suits in business clothes. And then anything on top of that, I could care less. I can get a T-shirt anywhere. I can get a toothbrush anywhere, deodorant. You're going to be just fine in the civilian side of the house. So go for essentials. And I almost always go for for carry-on only because I have had some of the most horrendous experiences, specifically going international travel where I get there and my luggage doesn't. So I'll do everything humanly possible to go carry-on only.

I check bags as a measure of last resort. And if I do have to check a bag and there is something essential that I need for the completion of a business trip, it goes into my backpack carry-on however I need to get it on the plane with me because everything else is replaceable. and it just helps me relieve stress. Hope that helps. Five questions, round one. See you guys next week for round two.

Thank you again to Duke Cannon for supporting the cleared hot podcast. I definitely appreciate it. And for the listeners, get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $35 at Duke Cannon.com with the promo code cleared hot. And again, when I'm looking, looking at this all one word, all uppercase. And thank you again also to Keeps for supporting the podcast.

Keeps makes easy and affordable hair loss treatment for men. The offer is your first month of treatment for free. And all you need to do to do that, that's a terrible sentence. All the only action that you need to take to take advantage of that is go to keeps.com slash cleared hot. K-E-E-P-S-com slash cleared-hot for your first month

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Good, bad, ugly, everything in between, what you like, what you didn't like, reach out to me for questions if you have them. Or for feedback. Hey, send me an email.

Hey, Andy, you suck. And give me something actionable that I can do with that. is all that I would ask. Hey, your voice sucks. I'm like, well, that's my voice. So I can't do much with that. But other than that, thank you, everybody,

for taking the time to listen, telling people about it, and supporting the podcast. Really appreciate it. See you next week.