Cleared Hot - Powered By BRCC - Cleared Hot Episode 280 - Shaun Crandall

Episode Date: April 10, 2023

Originally from Missouri, Shaun graduated from Mizzou (University of Missouri Bachelors in Marketing) and then entered the Border Patrol at age 27 in 2009. He was assigned to southwest New Mexico and West Texas and has worked both southern and northern borders. Shaun has served as part of SOD ( Special Operations Division) as a MRT (Mobile Response Team) member, prosecutions agent, Field Intelligence Agent, and Human Smuggling Unit. Shaun started Crandall Fitness in 2020 to supply people with high-quality home gym equipment. https://www.crandallfitness.com Sign up for the new G14 newsletter here: https://www.clearedhotpodcast.com/exclusive Check out the newest Cleared Hot Gear here: https://shop.clearedhotpodcast.com/  

What's up, everybody? It's Monday and here we go, but before we go, you know what I'm going to do. I'm going to talk to you about the brand that makes this podcast possible. That's right, Black Rifle Coffee. If you head over to black rifle coffee.com, what I'm generally doing when I do this ad read is I'm taking a look at what they're offering on their website because I want it to be what I would consider to be timely. Right now, on the rotating banner across the top, they have two things. One, they have the coffee subscription. And there are a variety of coffee subscriptions. So make sure you join the one that you're you want to. The first one I'm going to call the traditional one, which allows you to pull from all of the roasts that they have, dark, medium light, decaf if you hate yourself, and you can get it as much as you want on whatever rotation schedule that you want. The other one is the ECS, Evans Coffee Subscription, which is very exclusive. He has a heavy hand in that. I love the artwork on the bags,

but it's going to be a different coffee experience every single time. The second thing they have up here is this bass cat, a bass cat boat giveaway. Let me tell you what I don't know shit about, a bass cat boat. But they're giving one away. And if you enter to win, you get a fully rigged and custom wrapped Basscat, Cougar, and more. So I think that's cool. I don't know what that is, but maybe you do and maybe you're into that. But if you go to black rifle coffee.com, you're going to help support the podcast by supporting an amazing brand that was founded by amazing people. And that's it. My guest for today, Sean Crandall reached out to me. He is a Border Patrol agent in the Southwest. And if you are anything like me, I'm actually fascinated to talk to somebody who,

works and lives in that world, as opposed to what I have access to on only social media and traditional media channels. And that's exactly what I did. He was part of their SOD special operations division as an MRT, mobile response team member, prosecution's agent, field intelligent, agent, and human smuggling unit. So a variety of experience. And I'm going to shut up and let Sean speak for himself. Episode number 280 with Sean Crandall. Enjoy. Close now. Never done a podcast ever. Never. I didn't even know I've been listening to you since you went on the Rogan show like the first time. Yeah. I wish I could change a few things.

No, no, fuck no. I mean, I wouldn't going back, let me rephrase that. I wish I had understood the size of his audience when I chose to say the things that I did. Which I believe and I wouldn't change. I just, you know, educated decisions are better than just kind of fly by wire in my experience. Yeah, but that's kind of what makes you. you. I still would have said them. Don't be wrong. I just, I didn't, I had never been, I had never listened to a podcast before I was on the show. I, I think maybe your podcast with him

was like the second or third podcast I'd ever listened to in my life. It was, how'd you find it? I was in the intel office back in the back and I was just kind of scrolling through podcast. I was like, oh, Navy SEAL. Because my grandfather, former, former. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or X or just, my grandfather was a underwater demolition World War II. Okay, UDT? Yeah, so he's a frog man or whatever, so he was, so the seal thing has always been like in our, he talked

about it and stuff. Of course he said he couldn't shoot for, to save his fucking life. It wasn't their job. Yeah, he was like, we used to throw, you know, these buoys out in the ocean, try to shoot him with these coal 45s, like, could get the fucking broadside of a barn. I don't, maybe a lot of people don't know what the UDT did.

They, I mean, it was underwater demolition. Underwater demolition scenes. Before that, though, was scouts and raiders. And the whole inception of Naval Special Warfare, and you may know this because of your family history, but for people listening, amphibious invasions, kind of dangerous. Yeah.

Doing amphibious invasions while under fire could, you know, lend people to, hey, we're getting the living shit shot out of us. Let's get the ramp down now because we just hit something underwater. They do that. And a bunch of army and marine soldiers run out in gear that wasn't designed to be neutrally buoyant. go to the bottom and that's just a horrendous catastrophe. So that actually, the desire to survey

channels and beachheads, that's where it started. Then that became UDT and that was their job. But like they would go out covered in axle grease with a pair of shorts, a Jacques Cousteau dive mask and measure water on an enemy territory. Like fuck that noise.

Yeah, no interest in that. And then it eventually became the seals in Vietnam. Yeah, from when we were little, it was like, hey, you're going to, swim underwater in my pool they were from talls, Oklahoma like you're gonna swim underwater in this pool like we're gonna get you something from like three years old on and underwater. It's gonna be a lot of underwater like

okay I mean it's better do you have kids for and they all swim yeah pool safety is an issue like until my kids knew how to swim like it's a big deal yeah yeah for sure I actually had an incident with my daughter at a pool my sons were doing a swim lesson she was young young You know, she was working at the coffee shop this weekend now. It's like baffles me that she's 14 years old, going on about 30. And there's a normal swimming pool and a little, like, hot tub, like, over here.

Coaches over here, small hot tub and a bunch of parents just, and this is all they were doing, like, on their phone. Which, not judging, I'm just saying that's what was happening. Yeah. And I was watching my daughter play in this hot tub in the jacuzzi jails. Jets were on so that it was like a little bit of bubble. And this is a public pool area in one of the neighborhoods we lived in. The jets were on. A bunch of kids were in there and it was just kind of bubbly.

And I watched her step off at the step. She didn't know how to swim yet. And disappear. Into the bubbles. Into the bubbles. And the last thing that she was able to see was her, like I saw her fingers. And I literally jumped in, fully clothed, grabbed her. It was not a, you know, it was trending towards an emergency.

Had I not seen what's going on. but that's how fast that shit can happen like pool safety underwater safety which has nothing to do with obviously what we'll talk about today but since it came up as a parent until they got past that point holy shit I have a

all it would have taken is like just not paying attention like maybe one of the other kids like who knows but I was just like holy shit here we go into the hot tub fully clothed yeah I have a really good buddy at work whose son that's what happened to him

did he not survive and how that fuck do you ever live your life. Fuck, I don't know, man. Almost the same situation. Exactly. If the jet had, if the jets had been off, I think I would have caught movement had I had not been.

And again, I wasn't like sitting there like, you know, staring at my daughter over the top of the water. I was kind of going back and forth and watching between my daughter and my son's swimming, but it was the jets and the haze. Yeah, you can't. Like, it was like a minute or something. Yeah, that's enough. I don't know how you or how anybody lives their life after something that catastrophic.

And I would assume that there is a level of self-implied guilt that you put on top of yourself. I don't know if you could ever put that down. Fuck, I don't know. Yeah. I feel bad for him. I hope he doesn't hear this. Well, even if he does hear it, I mean, I'm sure he knows that you feel bad for him. It's rough.

Pay attention to your kids out there, parents. If they're in water or near water, Put your cell phone down. Not that that is the causal factor. Yeah. It doesn't hurt, you know. Oh, this was like before smart phones. Yeah.

It's a lapse of attention that can end up with something that will ruin you for the rest of your life. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But what I was going to say was like, I heard you on his podcast and then like I started listening to you like from when you started. And being like not obviously not even close to the same field or whatever, but like kind of that kind of machismo job. kind of thing, listen to the way you talk about leadership and changing, like, the way you're

you could, like, over the years you've had it, like, the way you're, like, thinking about, like, being around your kids and, like, what the job, being away, and how you talk to people and how, like, leadership and stuff, that shit, like, fucking resonated, like, crazy. Like, with me.

I'm glad somebody's listening. I don't know where this shit goes once we hit published. It's weird because I know a lot of people are like, this is probably going to sound super dumb to Michael because he's around you all the time, but, like, I didn't know any of the black rifle coffee guys before two days ago,

meeting him when they just started talking to us. They walked in, so I started talking to him. I had no idea what they were. They're the most normal people you've ever met. I had no idea what they were talking to them, but, and they're like, you know,

CEOs of a giant company now, and they do all this stuff, and, you know, people get all excited about seeing athletes and shit, and it was like, I guess the same kind of nervousness or whatever people get was like me meeting you,

which is really weird probably, you know what I don't know because you probably don't it's not weird for me right because I know me you know I don't think it's weird for Michael Michael's like

I get nervous around Michael sometimes I mean he just he's you should be nervous around me I agree he's like a ninja he's like man but smaller

you know half man out he's like a trunk monkey I'm working on it he is working on it he's working on his hashtag game

And I don't like it. He's, you know. What are the gains coming? Does the hashtag give you the gains? No, the gains are coming because he's fucking 20 years old and he's directly in the sweet spot of out of control of testosterone and he'll look at a weight and put on five pounds of muscle and it pisses me off. Of 30 pounds, baby.

Since when? 30 pounds since when? Yesterday? No, no, no, no. Overall. He had a lot of McDonald's. When you first started, you were 30 pounds lighter? Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. I struggled to, I struggled to. I struggle to fathom that, actually. Yeah, no, I was... You don't have 30 pounds to lose right now. I know. God, you must have looked like a little bitch.

I bet. Yeah. Like a man child. Yeah. Emphasis just not on the man. Jiuji is super fucked up by it. I was like 265. When you started?

And now I'm like 245 and I went to a tournament like the, you know, the Naga or whatever, local thing in El Paso. And I was like doing a cutting thing or whatever for whatever. shit. Don't cut for Naga tournaments. No, no, I wasn't. I was doing it for a bodybuilding thing. Anyway, that's neither here and there. And I go, it was like, I was like, I go. I was like, I go. I was like, I go. I was like, I was like, I go. I was like, I was like, everybody's still looking at you like you're a giant. Yeah. I had to like, well back out the lens for you to sit there and not have like that just. Yeah. I was. Actually, that would be a good episode too. Just show the guest knows. Not just like the camera angle is fixed. If you're short or tall, like this is the camera angle that you get. How long you've been training? since I was 18 16

oh wait we're talking about jujitsu or lifting oh shit lifting isn't training lifting's just working out like 15 months okay

how'd you find your way into it bunch of guys at work they all went to this one you call them dojo they don't know dojo Mike Glover calls them dojo and I actually don't know if I'm allowed to correct him

because I feel like somebody like shut up you racist bastard he's Asian yeah he should know he should know all of them he doesn't know he'll go back and forth Mike's pretty cool

He's the best He'll go back and forth Between Dojo Or Jim For clarity He's the only person I know That uses the term Dojo at this point in time

And I'm not gonna correct him What are they So we call our guys I go to it's called Shoutout to Zia martial arts There in Las Cruces But Zia? Marshal?

Zia yeah Okay Like the little Zia thing We have on our flag It's like the triple cross Looking thing With the circle in the middle It's a new Mexico thing

I have no idea You're talking about Yep It's on the flag I don't know. Whatever. If you laid out 10 flags on this table and gave me a million dollars, I would pick incorrectly which one is the Mexico flag.

Just for quote. So did I until I live there. Yeah. So they call them our black belt guys called Professor. I've seen it. Ours are referred to as professors. At our specific. We're a Tom de Blas affiliate.

Okay. I have not traveled too much outside of the SBG network. And I've seen it where it's very strict, like it's a professor. or coach and it just depends on you know how they want it to be our coaches are essentially first name and I've actually heard them call professor and they'll correct him it's like hey I'm just you know Leah or Daniel yeah he's like they're both Mark and Spencer they're both like the most like humble like yeah chill dudes like it's just it's super welcoming yeah it depends on where you come from and the culture

of the school it's neither here nor there there's a time and place I think well you mean you work in a rank based organization there's a time in place for rank and then there's a time in place for like hey man like hey Sean knock the fuck off you know yeah there can be both yeah how's your how's your journey

been in jiu jitzu it's good I feel like people don't like you because you're like a tree ant and you're going athletic and incredibly hard to deal with would be my guess that's what they tell me I've I'm not great I don't want anybody get the wrong impression like I'm some kind of badass

I'm just, you don't have to be how tall in big, six, five. Yeah. Just like six five, two fifty, two forty five. You would fuck Michael up right now. But actually he would probably sat. He's a little savage, unfortunately. But yeah, he's also. And the lifting helps.

Yeah, he's been doing this for years. And anybody who hasn't been doing it for years is going to have a really bad day. I'd still have a tough time. Yeah. It'd be tough. Yeah. I have faith in you. Like, and don't get me wrong.

Not a lot, but I have faith in you. Yeah. Yeah. What tends to happen is they teach me. what happens is they teach you a move and then you go and then I go do that move and then the other person knows the move because you've been learning it and it doesn't work

and then I go fuck it I'm just going to go back to squeezing people until that is actually a move and there are some people that I know just try it out muscle them like you can probably body lock people I would imagine I don't know what that is when you get the leg across the body and then the other you basically have your foot

it's a control position usually from the back where a leg will come across the hips and then you can lock in the other leg leg over the top very similar to a triangle but it's over their body oh interesting yeah i like to do the when they're on their side i grab their head and their legs i just squeeze them really tight together until i can grab my elbows and yeah yeah that's there for a while that's not actually a thing but i can appreciate that you do that exactly that's what i'm like i don't know what to do shit i'll just squeeze whatever i could get a hold of because i'm not sure what the fuck i'm doing you guys

are having this match right after this michael absolutely yeah i'm game for whatever yeah So if you're not from New Mexico, where are you from? Missouri, northeast Missouri on a farm. How did that lead you to working for the Border Patrol of New Mexico? So I had to end up somehow meeting an Hispanic woman, a Mexican little girl, my wife, on an airplane, randomly, sat in the wrong seat, which ended up being the row behind her. And I was, like, looking around like, oh, shit, that kid was kind of cute. I think I'll go sit next to her because the plane's kind of empty. So it's moved up, started talking to her, started dating her.

And then at that time, I was working for the really high-speed agency called TSA. I don't know if anybody's. They're super badass. I have questions. Yeah. Tell me a little bit about that onboarding process. And were you an actual TSA employee or were you what we have up here? Like they have a TSA badge, but you take a look at it.

You're like, wait a minute. Yeah. So I think there's a few. Yeah. There's a few airports in the country. Kansas City is one of them that they don't have TSA, but they have the badges. I don't know how they've... Yeah.

I don't know how there's a company out there. I don't know. Well, they're fulfilling the same function. Right. But I don't... I don't know. And maybe in fulfilling that function, they have the same authorities.

I'm sure they do. But yeah, you look at you, like, wait a minute. Yeah. Like, I get what you're doing. And I'll take my fucking belt and shoes off and raise my hands up and be scammed like a microwave chicken.

Yeah, so I went to the academy. I was going to say, talk to me about the onboarding. You go and you go through like a fucking background thing. and you do your background, 10-year investigation, and then you go interview, and they're like, can you pick up this 40-pound crate and carried around this table and put up on this?

No, they don't. They do, and I did it. And then they're like, they do an interview process, which is whatever. They ask you about, like, do you, if Brad Pitt came through, but he didn't have his ID, would you make him? That's not a question. That was my question.

It was my question. I remember. It's like, Brad Pitt came through. The guy who goes, it was Brad Pitt came through the metal detector, but did not have his ID. This is before all the new technology they have now. This is like in, like, in 2004 or five. When Bin Laden was trying to fly on airplanes. What would you do?

I wouldn't let him on, sir. I mean, I don't have a gun or any way of enforcing that rule, but I guess I won't let them on. And he's like, good. And then I got hired. Okay. How's it like working for the TSA? Well, in my little hometown, where there's two flights a day and half of them get canceled because there's no people on them. Pretty chill.

I have seen people who work for the TSA as some of the most unhappy human beings that I've ever come across. So I train in Kansas City. It's two weeks of super intense classroom training. Yeah. And take a really hard test at the end of that, and then you pass. and then you just go to another airport, which I went to Wichita, Kansas, and you stayed there for 11 straight days,

and I worked the shift there at an airport that was 50 million times bigger than my airport that I was going to be at, which is still small. And that was it. And I was like, when I got to my little airport, I was like, thank God I'm not at a real airport. Well, even at the bigger ones, I'm trying to think of the last time,

I think if we were flying out of... And their pay is really shitty. Oh, I don't doubt it. Is it a GS job? I think it's a GS or G. I think when I was there, maybe it was the three. That's, yeah, that's. It was like $12 an hour.

But yeah, I guess you get the benefits, the insurance. They just seem, and this obviously is a broad statement, so it doesn't apply to everybody, but they don't seem super stoked. I would imagine the repetitive nature of the job doesn't help with that. And also, for whatever reason, people seem to lose their humanity a step at a time in airports. And just treat people like absolute shit. and mostly the TSA people are the receiving end of that. I had an old man once that I was my train east at us in Wichita, and he was in a wheelchair, so you couldn't put him to the milletector,

and we had to, like, scan him or whatever and do, like, a little pat down. And I asked him to take his belt off because it has a metal buckle, and rule out in the line, he was like, why do you want me to take my belt off? It's so you could see my dick, isn't it? And I was like... Yes. No. And then I started laughing, and they were like,

gave me the stink guy like you can't be laughing at that I like I that's I thought that's funny like no sir I'm not actually trying to see your dick I just want to check your belt sir if you were to take off your belt what type of pants are you wearing that your dick would immediately fall out well and he was in a wheelchair yeah so he's sitting down it was like he was standing up like let's see your dick together you haven't seen it in a while obviously so like poor guy I felt bad for him he was I'm like yeah I mean so how long did you last there before you decided you wanted to uh eight months seven months and then what was next so then i moved to columbia moved in with my girlfriend the time who's now my wife and did some like

bullshit like i was a personal trainer for a while and then did installing like commercial furniture okay and stuff and then hey we got to make ends meet man yeah and then she was like hey i'm gonna be back to El Paso, Texas. I was like, fuck, I got nothing going on here. So you went to Columbia, Columbia, Columbia, and then... No, Columbia, Missouri. Okay. So that was like 90 miles south of where.

Dude, that story is not nearly as exciting. I was thinking you were down, like, with the cartels running and gunning while installing office furniture. That would have been pretty sweet. Right. I just built private offices for cartel. Okay. And then got down there and I was personal training again and started training again and

started training some agents and they made the job sound super awesome. And then they all. And then also some super awesome pay, which was not a lie. And I was like, fuck it. Because, you know, they show you the recruiting video. It's like helicopters and Bortac and ATVs and horses and all the snowmobiles and all this stuff. The snowmobiles is true up here. Yeah.

No, all the stuff's true. Yeah. It's all true. But not in the same job. No. It's like the seal recruiting video of the modern era. They show five different people's careers jammed them to about three minutes where you'd be lucky to experience one percent of it. Yeah. So all of it, all that stuff, though, is done by, except for the BoreTac part, is what's done by regular agents.

The thing is, what's the luck of the draw, what station you get? So if you have a station like in the Southwest, you're going to have horses and dirt bikes and ATVs and you can do all of it. And then there's details, right? You do a detail and you get to go and try different stuff out. You know, you put in for stuff and you can do prosecutions or intel or whatever. there was a time period where some of the Border Patrol guys up here were surging down and augmenting the Southwest, I believe. There still are. Oh, really? Okay. So talk me about through kind of like the, what is the pipeline for Border Patrol?

I mean, I know that they're sworn law enforcement, but I'm not, how do you get there? And then how do you land in? So the first thing I have to say is I'm not here as a representative of the U.S. Border Patrol. Me neither. And anyway, and also I am not part of their public relations department. and all of my opinions are my own. Who told you to say that? No one.

Okay, it's checking. It's a fair disclaimer. Yep. So the pipeline is you go online to, I think it's USA Jobs. Now, I think that's where all the government hiring goes through. Yeah, the portal. You apply and they have a, if you go online, I think it's pretty open source, but they have it pretty much documented down to, like, test,

Yep. P.T. exam. You know, I think they have a polygraph now. You know, background, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then you go to that process. It took me 18 months. I think now... From flash to bang from when you first started.

I'm thinking now it might be shorter. They might have streamlined it a little bit. I don't know. They were doing a pretty big surge when I came in, so they were hiring quite a bit of bumping up some numbers. What year did you start the process for them? 2008. Okay.

And I came in in 2009. Oh, I started in 2007. It came in 2009. And then you go to an academy. First they offer, they call you and they're like, hey, do you want this station or this station or the station or the station, whatever. As in duty station where you're going to land? Yeah, yeah, where you're going to land. So if anybody we need it, you know, it's a good job.

But if you're going to apply, make sure you Google the station you're going to go to. So you know what the population of that town is and where it's going to be. Do they... Because I had classmates that did not do that. Oh, awesome. And they got there. And they got there. And they got there.

Because they're like, oh, I just Googled it and it looked like a town. And then they got there and it was a town of trailers. Yeah. And there was no restaurants. Do you get in the application process, do they say, hey, do you have a dream list, if you will? Or they just call you once you potentially made it through and say this is the openings we have. When you apply, I think you... When I did it, you picked a region.

Okay. Like, do you want Cali and West? or do you want Arizona? Do you want South Texas? Do you want like around West Texas, New Mexico? I think it's like that because the Border Patrols divide up into sectors. So I think that's how they kind of hire me by sector. And when I was applying the northern border, like you're not getting the other border.

You know, because all the guys. Let's just say there's far fewer people up here. Yeah. Well, because all the Northern guys, they got stuck in New Mexico were like, this is up. Like, I don't want to go down there. It's not available. And then while we're at the account. all of a sudden classes of just Northern Border guys came in.

They're like, hey, what the fuck? I wanted to go to Michigan, you sons of bitches. I've heard some pretty good stories from the guys up here, spending their time patrolling the border a variety of different ways. I'm here for it. I like it. I know what it's like to. Well, they get snowmobiles up here.

They 100 against snowmobiles up here. Yeah, they get like their own. I think they might even have their own. I don't know. I've never worked the Northern Border. I've always been augmented to the... I've heard it's locked tight. The desert.

Just nobody's getting through. Every square inch is patrolled. Or like that a couple feet are at least. Yeah, I have no. I have. I mean, I am not advocating anybody cross borders illegally. If I were to look at the U.S. From a perspective of where I think you'd have a better likelihood of crossing with less attention.

Right. I mean, I'm not a rocket surgeon. Yeah. But, huh, there's really a lot of focus on the southern border. Yeah. I mean, if you get caught from what I can tell, they give you another shot at it. So, but the Northern one, it does a really big border and not as many people paying attention. You might have to hike your ass. Well, I guess people are hiking their ass off on this other one, too. But bring a jacket for the Northern one.

I feel bad for those people. Fuck. Yeah. Do you, what do you know about what we do? Because you guys whip migrants with, uh, yeah. Well, they're not whips. Actually, I looked at that. The reins of horses. I actually looked at that picture and I know very little about horses but I could instantly tell

what the narrative around that picture was was complete under horse shit. Yeah, those guys are... No pun intended because they were on a horse. The thing about, what's weird is like we're like the red-headed stepchild for all federal agencies pretty much. We're like, yeah, fucking Border Patrol sucks ass.

And then we're also probably racist and you know, which is, and we beat people with... Like, which is the farthest fucking thing from the truth because, like, who rest of... rescues more people in the desert than anybody else, Border Patrol. Who renders more aid? Who shows up, like, Ovalde, who showed up, you know, Border Patrol? Who's fucking saving people out of the, like, the Rio Grande River, doing swift water rescues, border patrol.

Like, the fucking guys on the ground that I work with every day, what we do is like, if we go out on shift that day and they're like, hey, a guy, a migrant called, and he said he's lost. These are his last GPS. They send fucking, we send shitloads of guys out there. Like, go find those fucking dudes. Like, we don't want them to die. Yeah, they make the fucking, every time I was telling the news, it's like border control. Like, the fuck our name is. You know what I mean?

Like, they don't even know what we, like, border. Like, you don't even know the proper, like, what we're called. You guys are border control patrol. Yeah. I like it. BCP. Yeah. Because you got customs, right, who's blue.

And they do airports and the ports. And then all that shitty area in between. as us and when you patrol like it's like your buddy i get this sheriff my brother was sheriff too you're by yourself yeah if you catch a group of 50 guess who's coming to help you no one until they decide to get their 50 miles away or however far they especially in a station where maybe you're low on manpower you know or something like that like you got to do it yourself and these dudes sign up for that and that's what you fucking do because that's what you do and so like nobody goes on like I'm going to fucking beat the piss out of a bunch of migrants today.

Like, hey, we're going to go out. We're going to catch where we get. And if you find guys with, like, missing shoes or dehydrated, like, I've seen agents take food to aliens. Like, we give them our water. We give them our food. We have in our bags. We fucking, I've seen guys drive them to drive-thru's McDonald's, like, or bring food

in from pizzas or whatever. I mean, we feed them. We take, like, you have to do a bunch of stuff. So here's a question then about that particular. incident if you even want to call it that. What was it about a year and a half ago that came out where it was the whipping. Yeah. Incident.

Why didn't either the local leadership there or higher up in the Border Patrol go, hey, no, that's not what happened. And that's not what we do. Instead, it was like, well, maybe they have to. And there are reasons to have investigations, but the narrative instead of being stopped, like we're going to investigate. And weren't there punitive measures towards that particular? officer? I don't know. Honestly, I don't know. Why doesn't the leadership? That's like a whole different sector than where I'm at. So I don't know. I just don't understand why somebody didn't just

stand up and say, hey, no, that's actually completely incorrect. And what is being portrayed to the public is being weaponized from an informational status to like drive a narrative. That isn't true. Yeah. Because that's not what anybody said. They're like, well, we're going to punish those agents. And if the agents were doing that, they should be punished. Yeah, right. Right. Right. Right, 100%. But they weren't doing that. Right. You can tell from the fucking picture in the video that they weren't doing that.

Yeah. And I just got driving down the road and down the road and down the road. I think it's part of the... I don't know. I don't know what, from the board patrol side. What, who the fuck? Who's making decisions? You know what I mean?

Yeah. Like, as far as the boots on the ground guys, it's like, hey, we're taught like these... We go to the training, you know what I mean? And we use the reins to hit the horses to make them run or whatever. Or we're, you know, whatever thing that they're, you know, using for control of the horse. Yeah. And if you don't know that and then a fucking CNN or somebody takes a picture and they're like,

hey, that agent's bad, he's doing this. I'm like, the guy's like, that's, I'm not doing that. But no one cares. Yeah. I'm riding a horse. Yeah. Thank you, though. This is actual equipment that I used to ride the horse.

Yeah. And, and no one cares. Yeah. Because, like, pretty much like it, anything. I mean, I think law enforcement general is probably under the hardcore microscope. Like, I don't even, honestly, I don't know why. you'd probably want to join like be a regular PD guy or something at this at this point unless you really really like thought about it as you're a kid yeah um the thing about like border

patrol is like they give you you have so much room and kind of freedom to do what you want that um you most of guys like they're trying to help help the people like no one's going out and like I'm going to beat up people today you know like the dudes like have families and the majority of Border Patrol agents where I'm at like I can only speak for my personal experiences are Hispanic so these dudes

aren't like it's not like there's a bunch of fucking white dudes that are my size going out and beating the piss out of fucking El Salvadorians like why would I do that and like wow like how it may be felt like that's fucking retarded well I'm sorry I can't say that goddamn I can't say that word

you can say it every you want to it's the internet walk me back more through how you ended up in New Mexico. So you make it through the hiring process. They'll get you up like, hey, do you want to go this, that, or the other? Yeah, so you're going to go to this station. So I'm in southeastern New Mexico. A station.

And like, cool. I'm going to go there. So then you go to the academy and they just mix a bunch of stations, usually from your sector. Border Patrol specific academies? Yeah. Yeah. It's in Artesian, New Mexico. It's on the internet.

How long is it? it's five months. Damn. So when I went... Like live in or drive in every day? Oh yeah, no, it's living. Okay. So when I went,

it was three months of Academy and two months of 40 hours a week Spanish for the wettos. Okay. If you didn't pass the Spanish telephone interview thing that they did when you got there, guess where you're going in two months of Spanish? So that class was all the white guys.

Yeah. All the white guys. And then now I think it's I think they've changed it like two or three times since I went. Now it's five months for everybody. Okay. And the Spanish is mixed in. I think they have a tiered system on what, like what you have to learn.

Did you speak Spanish to your wife when you were practicing? I tried. But, uh, yeah, she would help me on some of the assignments. I was going to say, you actually probably, uh, we're pretty lucky with the significant other because you literally. Yeah. I mean, most people. And my in-laws. There you go.

You could, you could have real. That actually is quite a benefit. Yeah. My, down there, it's pretty good. My 7-year-old. His K-3-5 is Spanish. Dual immersion. Yeah.

But it's like 90, 80, 70, as you get older. Yeah. So, like, he can read and write in Spanish right now. Yeah, they hit you with the Spanish hard up front and then it, uh, so he can't read and write in English, but he can read and write. Really? Spanish. Yeah.

He's like, he's fucking, yeah, he's hardcore. So my daughter's going to go into that. When my first two kids went, they were in. They wouldn't let them in that program for some reason. But yeah. So I was like, that is, God, I could he use that? Because my spanglish. I mean, I know a lot of the cuss words and stuff.

That doesn't surprise. You know the job. Yeah, right? Yeah. You know the job specific stuff? Because they have you go through like, you know, training and you're like questions you'd have to ask for interviews. You know, all the pertinent information. And like, I don't know what's, I don't know if they're doing more immersion stuff now and more like babble or, you know, that kind of stuff where it's like conversation.

or if they're just still sticking to the, I have no idea. Okay. So you graduate at the end of that five months. Does that satisfy the law enforcement training? You come out of that? Because Border Patrol is federal, correct? Yes. So you're coming out of that, a federal sworn officer?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. When you graduate, come out federal, and then you go to your station, you do an FTO. Field training. Well, first you go to like, I think it's the FTO program. It's field training officer, but or something like that, I know what they call it now, but basically you're in another classroom.

setting and then they have tests and you like do area orientation and kind of like you like regionally specific training yeah like all station specific okay so then they have a guys from the station and they i guess they have like a book of things and they need to teach you right they check that often when i came through you had to take seven tests if you failed any test more than once you were kicked out of the hiring process really you're done yeah yeah when i came in you had a two year probationary period damn so they could fire you for anything thing anytime, which they always told you about. So make sure.

I call that leverage. Yeah, so before me, it was a seven month and a 12 month. It's like a Spanish test at seven months. So you had to get a 70 to pass that. 30% of your grade, or 25% your grade, I think, was the Spanish part, and 75% was based on the guys giving you the test. Okay. What the score they gave you, so.

Fair enough. So you could be fluid. I guess, I don't know. I always heard a lot of horror stories. but guys are stressing out about those tests, or seven and ten months, maybe. So then mine was just the written tests, and now I have no idea. I haven't gotten into that program, like, as an instructor or whatever. So I'm not sure.

And then I left that, and then you go to the field. So now you're on a unit, right? They just assign you to whatever unit you're going to be on, whatever shift you're going to be on. And then they assign a guy with you. I was going to say it'd have to be a left seat, right seat for a little bit. Yeah. Then you have a guy. And depending on who you have, either he drives or you drive.

Some guys you get in and, like, I'm not than you drive, you know. Yeah. Get over there, rookie. Yeah, yeah, pretty much. Or like, drive me everywhere I want to go. Yeah. Okay, sounds good.

Whatever. And then they do the day-to-day if you're doing checkpoints or if you're doing line watch. Because you have line watch. You have X's. You have patrol. You have checkpoints. You have, oh, God, there's so much stuff. Was it like what you thought it would be?

In my experience, you know, there's the schoolhouse. And they tell you like, hey, this is what the job. This is what the job is going to be like. And then you get parted up with somebody on your first day. Some version of this conversation begins. It's like, hey, man, I bet you think you know what you're doing fresh out of the academy. Why don't you shut the fuck up? And I'm going to show you what it's like on the ground.

There was a version of that in the SEAL teams too. Because, right? He's like training pipeline and the initial schools. And you get there like, hooray. I'm a SEAL. And the old guy's like, shut the fuck up. Yeah, pretty much more shut the fuck. I'll tell you what you need to know, and if I'm interested in your opinion, I'll give it to you.

Yeah. But also, the conceptual things that we had learned in the training pipeline had broad applicability and massive gaps between concept and execution. And I needed those guys to bridge those gaps for me, that experience of the real world. So I'm assuming it had to have been the same. Yeah. So ours, when you go to our academy, if you go to, like, I have a classmate of mine that left and went to the FBI Academy. Oh, the Fletsey Academy?

Yeah, he went, yeah, he would, we would did our two years together past our probation, and he went to the FBI. Quantico. Yeah. And then some other guys went to other agencies. So those agencies have, like, more of like a gentleman's where they treat you differently. You go and you have your polo and your 5-11. Well, or we call them the shoot me first pants because you can always recognize what the cops are,

by their 511 gear. At about 2.3 miles is the distance. You can recognize. Yeah, yeah, so he's always called him to shoot me first pants because he's like, yeah, if you had a crowd of room, like who's going to get shot first to the guy with the 511 pants? Because he's probably carried. Public service announcement for people,

you don't have to be a beacon of your tactical prowess, knowledge, and credit card purchases. If you wear the American flag hat with the 511 pants and perhaps some kind of green or tan button-up shirt or anything you can buy from 511, all matching? I used to work with 5-11 as an ambassador. And I like their stuff.

At an individual level, they were spectacular. And one of the things I would constantly talk with them about, like, can we put the tech on the inside instead of always having it on the outside? Like, it's great to have equipment that is totally designed for the end state. Like, I completely understand that. But have you guys ever thought about little viz? Have you ever thought about putting, like, put as much tech into this pair of? pants as an example. Yeah.

But make them look normal. Instead of 40 pockets on the outside. 40 pockets and don't forget the zippers. And, you know, this pair of pants is designed to have nine pistol magazine. Like, I have questions. First off, who the fuck is carrying nine pistol magazines? I don't know if I own nine, well, I do because I own like nine pistols and they come with magazines.

That's the only reason why, though. They're not fucking interchangeable. Yeah. Yeah. And this is for the seven tourniquet pockets and this is for your IFAT kit. Like you, you look like a... a wad of chewed bubblegum, man. Like, it's super fucked up.

What you find, too, is, at least in my experience, the majority of the people I see do that aren't even law enforcement. Yeah. There are people up here. They really want to be law enforcement. In the summer months. Or what you guys saw for something, you know,

and they want to look like. You need to come back in the summer. Because there are, there about a half dozen people I've encountered who are, they're ready to rock. and roll at a moment's notice. I don't know if they've had any training. I don't know where they got their gear from.

I'm assuming the internet. You'll be able to visually see them. They are gunned up at all times, sometimes on each hip. Oh, open carry. Total open carry. Oh, God. We have that in New Mexico. No, we're talking like battle bells.

Oh, I'm talking, hey, we're at Murdoch's feed and supply. And just so you guys know if there is a terrorist attack, like, I'm here, coach. Put me in. and I want people to live their life however they want to. And I could lie and say that I don't have any judgment of the choices people make, but I do have judgment. I keep it to myself when I see them, but I see people wearing that stuff.

And I can't figure out why. Why be that overt? You're actually, you're drawing attention. And I think that might be part of the reason why people do that, actually. They want to get the attention. Yeah. But if something ever were, let's say if I put on my criminal hat, and I'm looking at a place and somebody who's,

dressed up like that, like, well, I got to have to go up to that guy first. Then I'm going to take all that guy's stuff. Yeah. So. No, that's, or they just want to be you. I don't know what they want to be. They want to be you. Fuck, I like their American flag holsters, though.

Just double ivory handled 1911s. Like, yeah. Get it, buddy. God damn it, I know. And then like the shirts. I mean, I have a, I have shirts. Like, Under Armour has like an American flag on every shirt, I think. Probably.

On every sleeve. So you just have it, but like, and you have your truck and it's got like a fucking blue line on it and your stickers on the blue line. It's not a blue line. Don't do that to them. God damn it. Yeah.

Ours is green, but since we don't, we use a thing green one, like I have the flag in my gym, my house. Yeah. But it's like, I think that's the armies. So we kind of just took the Army's flag. But yeah, I mean, you have the people. I mean, you have the, there's like two kinds of people at work. There's like the people who avoid looking like,

that and there's the guys who have you know the 5-11 catalog delivered to their house tattoos with the blue line and yeah and you know are you even a badass if you don't have a punisher skull tattoo i don't think so i do have some skulls on my truck they're not punisher ones though so i don't know if i fit into the are they like pirate skulls that's what a friend of mine calls and he's like oh you're pirate truck they're like little tiny emblems on the side like yeah fair enough first day on the job was it what you thought you were getting into uh yeah the first year i was like fucking

but like your first day oh you show up to muster you know and they're like mr so and so you're writing with so and so and you're going to be assigned here and you know and you're like fuck yeah and you check out a m4 and it's like full auto and you're like oh my god i'm coming everywhere it's so great yeah like now i'm a real soldier even though because of the academy it's like paramilitar right so our academy you go in and then when I was there, from my experience, you have to iron uniforms, shine your boots. Yeah. March.

It's the classic onboarding process. Yeah. You have to march everywhere. Yep. You have a leader, and he tells you to turn left and right and, you know, what you can't talk or say. You repeat what he says. So I had never done that, right, because I wasn't in the military.

My dad was Army. So you're marching around. And from what I can tell from the other federal agencies, you can just, you know, wear a backpack and meander around, like, you know, have a cell phone. You can have cell phones. Damn. And you've got to carry, I think you have to carry, you start with your belt. Right, you start with your belt.

And then as you progress to a gun, you get a red gun or no gun. Also known as a plastic gun for people. Or, yeah, yeah, or no gun. And then like, hey, you earned your handcuffing technique. So now you get to have a handcuff badge. Okay. Badge, pocket. And like, oh, now you've got your OC spray.

So now you get to have an O.3 canister, holster on your, and you get, like, these little badges of honor, like, you get to add stuff to your belt. Your Batman belt grows. Yeah, yeah. And then after you're there for a while, you strip all of the unnecessary shit off of your Batman belt. It's just like, I just have like mags, mags, handcuffs and a baton. Like, whatever the bare men on my knee.

Because, like, if you're chasing fucking people in the desert, running out of people, having a whole bunch of really cool gear is not as awesome. It's the whatever you're running. And now we have the, now we have like, you know, better play carriers and stuff. Yeah. So that lighten the load from the giant, like. like three, level three, one that we used to have, where I'd had like two M4 magazines and M4 here and, you know.

And now I'm like, Chase me, I'm like, I'm not even carrying the M4, it's too heavy. Like, thank God I could shoot my Glock pretty well. For people listening to, like we started off with a lot of stuff around our hip, like a, you know, the drop-down holster with the retention strap around our leg. It sucked. I actually went away from anything on my waist and put everything on my chest rig because it's just a better way to carry weight. I saw.

An agent once on a, I don't know, a little MRT mission thing. Do they, is it, how's the drawing? I always thought it was, I saw her. I stopped carrying a pistol. Oh, yeah. In like 2006. I know of only one person who actually had to transition from a rifle to a pistol due to a malfunction. Yeah, like a catastrophic malfunction.

Yeah. Yeah. And I just, I, when I was in. vehicles. If we were going to do vehicle stuff, I would put a pistol in like the pocket of my my vest because it would be easier to grab that, but then my rifle was stuffed down right next to me in the seat. It just takes me longer to get to that. But other than that, I mean, it just, it wasn't part of our job. We are not as hands-on, though, as I think your agency is. Like, if it gets to hands-on, for me, like, things have actually gone pretty bad. Yeah, you know,

the Border Patrol is good at, I think, You see a lot of the cop The stuff now where like They're getting in all these fights And fucking they're shooting people Or guys are getting in. Well, what you're seeing is what people are Yeah.

What you're not seeing is the millions of interactions That don't go that way. Yeah. No, what I'm saying is in those situations You're seeing these guys that like my brother was the sheriff's deputy. You don't, they don't get training.

Yeah. We have training every quarter. The Border Patrol is really good at training. Fuck, we train the shit out of ourselves. But you train every quarter with hand-to-hand stuff. You do jit-to-type stuff. weapon retention, all that stuff. You shoot every quarter.

My brother was shooting like once a year, like the minimum number of possible rounds he could and then go back on patrol. Like ours is like a whole training day. So they go through like scenarios and videos and we do, they just brought it after the Evaldei thing. They brought in like school stuff and you're like you're running those over and over and over every quarter.

Whereas I feel bad for like the PD guys are like. I feel bad for him to a degree. because at some point, and I know that there are massive issues in manning and funding, if you carry a badge and a gun for living and you are not training for the worst case scenario, and I'm not saying wake up at 4 a.m. and cold plunge and sauna and post about it. Jocko 4. 4.30 is just trash. 4.29. I beat him every day.

As long as it's not 430, right? Whenever he gets up, get up 10% earlier. But if you're not training for the worst case scenario, you're not taking your job seriously. And like I said, I know that there are issues with funding. I know that there's issues with Manning, and I see it up here. Yes. The number of excuses, though, that I will get from, I'll just say broadly, officers for why they can't fill in the blank. Go to the range more.

Go train Jiu-Jitsu. There's a lot of excuses. And that's actually exactly what they are. and I will be the first person. Like, you're not going to find a greater law enforcement supporter than myself. Yeah. But that doesn't mean they get a free pass. So if your agency isn't paying you to go train, you need to fucking figure out a way to go buy something.

Like, skip Starbucks for two days. Or just be a fucking, like, be in shape. Well, that's baseline. Right. Baseline, being shape. Law enforcement officer, I think you should have your badge and gun removes. That's my personal opinion. Go shoot on your own.

That's what I'm saying. You need to invest on your fucking self. And then, like, I wish I would have started a lot earlier, do jujitsu or something. Like, something, striking, something, some type of grappling art. I hate it when people say, jujitsu is the only solution. It's like, it's a tournament. It's like, it's a tool. It's a great tool.

Yeah, because you're never going to shrimp with your gun belt on in the desert. No, but it's also not magic. Right, right, right. So you should understand striking ranges. You should understand how to help yourself and others when people touch you, which is, I'm assuming, happens to you guys all the time. I think that you should. that and you should definitely get involved in something or even if just have even if it's just within your own guys go into a fucking room with some pads on and pummel each other or try to because you need to know what it's like to get fucking hit in the face yeah or kicked or someone to choke you and be like what are you gonna do now are you gonna just lay there and just like i guess fuck it like dude you're like life's on the line like i'm just gonna pull up my gun it's like hey just so you know hold this gun and then what else are you going to do?

Like, gouge the dudes. You know what I mean? Like, do the dirtiest shit. Like, there's no fucking rules. Well, you know what I mean? If you don't give people tools or if they don't develop them on their own, they'll default back to the one thing that they think they know. And for law enforcement, it's a lethal option.

Yeah. You know? And if that's all you understand and you get pushed to that place. Like, I understand how these things happen, but realize if you're not out there doing the best you can to be the most well-rounded that you are, If you're ever in that situation, you might end up on national TV and it may be a really, really bad look. And I'm not the greatest fucking border drill agent in the world. You know, I'm mediocre at best.

It's just I don't want to die over something stupid. It's like wearing your vest. We're not required to wear a vest. But like if you go out... Why is that? I don't know. I have a fuck. I have no idea.

I have vass. that, I mean, I've asked that before, like, a long time. I don't know. I think they're just like, hey, you're adults. Yeah, I don't have any judgment of it. I'm just curious where the policy comes down to it's, you know, this life-saving piece of equipment is now optional. Yeah, I don't know. That's a great question.

You know, they kind of, they give you, like, a lot of freedom to kind of decide, like, how many magazines you're going to care. You have, they have minimums, right? You carry a gun in three magazines, one in the gun and two, minimum. minimum and then you can carry the baton or whatever but you can add both Mesa and baton you can add a taser you can get certified

you know and other stuff but they don't make all those I I'm more like a I guess a minimum minimalist so I carry whatever the not minimum I carry a shitload of ammo I just have because I'm just used to having it it's just convenient whenever you're like going to the range and stuff to have all of them on I have to carry my pocket or whatever

but I don't like having a lot of stuff because I don't want to get into a situation where I'm like feeling for 50 options. And I, I'm, I'm sure people would knock me for this, but when I've gotten to situations where people have guns out, I think specifically like other agents and we're running towards somebody or doing something, I end up, I like to go hands on. I feel, I'm not like a badass fight or anything. I just feel really comfortable in my ability to take people to the ground or deal with the situation without going to gun. Not much to escalate from once you go to the gun.

Because, yeah. And Borbertole is really good about teaching. Well, de-escalation? Like you always want up, right? They have a knife. You go to a gun. They have a fist. You go to a baton.

You know, whatever. So you're always one step. But they always stress de-escalation so you don't take a lie for whatever. right i mean i've probably pulled my gun fucking a handful of times but i've gone hands on a shitload of times you know what i mean it's just you don't and i have a feeling that like if we didn't get as much training as you do because they're really good about training is that you would go to your gun because you feel like this is the most powerful too i have because you've never like grabbed the human body and thrown them on the ground yeah and held him against his will or you haven't

you know done whatever like you're just and we do a lot of simula. I don't know what you guys do, but we do like that, like a 3D room simulator with like shoot, no shoot, you know,

and you have it. Yeah. That stuff's awesome because you put you in a situation that you'll probably, more than likely, never be in, but it stresses the fuck out of you.

So that way, when you go into a regular situation, you don't freak out. Like, we, the station I'm at, our guys are super fucking good. Like,

I wouldn't include myself on this, but every guy that I work with, if you get into a high speed, chase, which recently we get into we were getting into, like, a lot of people just bounce from us. You hear those dudes on the radio?

You have no idea they'd be to chase. They're like, cool, calm and collected. Man, it's like, calm day out here because you have to do like a road report. You're like, it's New Mexico, so it's like 360 days of sunshine. They're like, it's a nice sunny day out here. You know, this calm traffic.

The weather's good, and we're going 125 miles an hour. I'm like, you know what I mean? Like it's so everybody on their video and they're like Friends of mine of like You know

They get an accident Stuff happens or whatever Or guys wipe out And they're like rendering aid And it's just like Hey we've got two bodies over here You know we had a rollover They're helping out like

Yeah You know like oh yeah Oh God it's panic We got to fuck Oh God what are we gonna do There's videos of People on the radio And you can hear it

And see it in the response Of everybody that comes into that You can pre- condition and escalate people to the point where they actually make really bad decisions, just in how you are presenting information to them over a radio. Like the skill that you're talking about is actually critical. Yeah, and we're just, God damn, we're just, we're really good at it because people don't like us. It's funny is, at my checkpoint, we deal with a lot of you, I mean, our station, we deal with a lot of U.S.

citizens. Sovereign citizens? And they also do not like us. Have you gotten the sovereign citizen argument at your station? I haven't gotten that. I get a lot of, you're a fucking piece of shit. Why aren't you on the border? What the fuck are you doing here?

I got called the Gestapo. I got filmed a bunch of times. You know, and I'm always like, hey, sir. One guy was, he's with his mom or something in a U-Haul, and he's like talking shit to me and telling me it was a piece of shit. Like he opened that. Yeah, no, he goes. He goes. I go, sir, you know, U.S.

Border Patrol, you're a U.S. citizen. He's like, fuck you, you piece of shit. And he goes, why aren't you on the border protecting America? And I go, well, sir. And I was like, I'm probably getting in trouble with this, but I was full like smart-ass mode. Yeah. You know, I was like, well, there are these people that come United States and they have visas. And then they overstay those visas and they drive around on the interstate.

Then they pull up here and guess what? Their visas expired. and then I get to deport them. And he's like, just staring at me at his mom, he must be like at his 50s. And his mom's like this. A guy in his 50s came at you like that? Yeah, and he was in his poor mom was like this old granny.

She's like super nice. And he was just being a huge fucking dude. It's always fucking white dudes, too. It's always fucking white people. And he's like, he's staring at me. I'm like, uh, they're called the fucking overstays. And he's like, he just stared at me. I mean, I'm like, are we done now?

He's like, okay, he goes this. He left. And I'm like, fuck face. Just because on the border, like, how many people come into the country on 30-day visas, visit visas, and then they don't leave? Like, that's what the fucking point of the goddamn checkpoints are. Yeah. Like, I'm just here doing this my job. I'm not here to fucking, like, oppress you because I stopped you for three seconds to ask you.

But, yeah, fuck. God damn. fucking with me. So the checkpoints you're talking. So I used to live out in southeastern San Diego. Yeah. So you guys have, they have that one ginormous fucking one that's like lanes and lanes. I don't even know how they do that. That doesn't even make sense. Is it even open? Do they run it? Man, I haven't been out there in a long time and I actually would very infrequently make it kind of like that far. But they're like 20 so miles away from the border. Yeah, you have up to different, I think it's 20, it's whatever. There's an air mile thing where

you can have the checkpoints. Yeah. And then there's an air mile thing. You have to to have for certain types of visas. But that's what you were talking about, like the checkpoint you're standing at was one of those. Yes. Yeah, yeah, no. What's the most ridiculous shit you've ever had happened to you at one of those checkpoints? Like, scary or like? John, it's just something that stands out.

Well, that fuckface. Yeah. Just people being fucking douchebags. What are they filming you for? Are they trying to be like a YouTube channel, I'm sure. I've been on YouTube before, not because I want to. to be. So they just roll up and they have like cell phone in your face?

We had a pastor that was doing it at all the checkpoints. He really loved the Arizona checkpoints. Oh, he's just rolling through them. Yeah, he would roll through them and then he would do this whole like roll of windows up. Because we don't, like, I don't fucking know. Like, if you pull up and you're fucking with me, I'm the wrong guy to fuck with because I don't care that you're fucking with me. I feel like others in your position would care though. Like, I grew up in a fucking, I got an older brother and fucking, like, I grew up on a farm.

And like, like, the guys who grew up, but it's like, it's like, when I went to the board patrol, it's like just being in high school sports again. Yeah. Like, hey. You know what I mean? Or whatever. Like, what do you do at here? Which is like, when I go to work. So you're like, every, like, the ball busting is like, you get a thick skin.

So when someone calls you a fucking pease or shit knots, and you're like, okay, cool. So, like, what's going to happen is? So they pull up and they're like, I had this guy pull up and he's like, he's filming me and he's like, I'm not fucking answer your questions. Just stop over whatever. And I was like, okay, so these are stop sticks. We can, we got three shifts. We're at 24 hours. I'm going to put these stopsticks in front of the tires in your car.

I'm going to go to the car behind you. I'm going to talk to the other traffic and they're going to drive around you. And you're going to sit here until you decide if you want to tell me your citizenship. Like, it's no big deal. So I just walked the back of the car, start checking the other cars. Like within a minute, he's like, man, this fucking bullshit. He's like, sir, sir, can you, can you, oh, sorry, sir, can you come back over here? And I walk back over like, are we done?

And he's like, I'm your assistant. Hey, thank you very much. Take up little spikes. How we get that? But you know, I mean, you have, I'm sure you have people that fucking like, you know, don't do that. But it's just like, if you don't put a gun in my face or like try to jump out of the car, like, you're not going to get, I'm not. I just don't get that fucking excited about you talking shit to me because I'm so used to people talking shit that you're like

And I don't even like I don't even know you so like I can't even get excited about it You know what I mean? You're just a dude who's just being a dick Do you have people try to get out of the cars at the checkpoints? Yeah Well Not I'm trying to think if I've had that happen to me I mean you go

So if you if you if you've like talked to them and you're like Oh fuck or you they pull up and there's like you know alien stacked in the back you'd pull them over to secondary sometimes they get out or whatever but typically you don't get unless you pull them out okay like if there's

it's uncommon for them to try that yeah like if they try to do something to you whatever but we're pretty I think the I think Border Patrol guys are I don't know they're probably more like military than like DEA or FBI like we're just

like a bunch of dudes on a football team and gals it's not be sexist the girls are the same yeah they're all

you know what I mean they're the same the girls are like fuck you too dude like you know what I mean like we don't give a shit because they're just it's it's like a fucking

green you know fucking uniform wearing gang of fucking people like a team it's like you're on a team like you know what it was

what was Ruggin always say it's like you're tribe or whatever. And so like, you might not like the fucking dude you work with, but if somebody goes after that dude, what are you going to do? Everything you can to help. Fucking tackle the shit out of that dude.

So what are the jobs? Well, just kind of talk me through your career. What kind of roles did you hold? So we did that and then they have little details you do. So I like, I did Intel for a while and you would do like, go after like smuggling or like not organizations. It was, I'm not fucking special. Just like if smuggling those kids a checkpoint,

you would try to do more research on the people. you know what I mean and make ties to how does that look inside of the border patrol so they have an they have an intel cell and then specialize every station kind of has their own little groups that they do right every station kind of has things like so you can be like firearm destructor and you can be like use of force and um and then inside those you know inside those stations you can do so like like we did prosecutions right i did that and basically like they get cases smuggling cases whatever and then you're the one you like types up the report and submits to the judge and you go to court and you go to court and You know what I mean? You go to court and I see all the arrests through to the end. Like I go to, I just show up in case I need somebody to testify or whatever. So let's say somebody does get, there's a smuggling. You stop at the border.

They're obviously smuggling something. They get arrested at that point, I'm assuming, correct? Where do they go in that time period in between the arrest? Federal. Oh, no, they go to jail. Usually it's county or it's whatever jail is available. But how much time between generally that arrest at the border and the actual prosecution? I feel like it's not sure.

Oh, no, they arraigned them fast. Really? Sometimes, yeah, usually next day. What? Unless the weekend. Holy cow. In New Mexico, we have three days. You have three days to once they're arrested.

I have to submit the paperwork by the next day. So we work seven days a week because they have court on the weekends. And New Mexico, Texas, I don't know about Texas because I'm not familiar with that. But they're pretty efficient. I was actually. Because I have some friends are marshals and they're like, those dudes are Johnny on the spot because they bring them to court for us. Or what the jails do? then the marshal take over.

Well, and that's why I asked because I assumed, one, I don't know the volume of the arrests that occur there, but that's going to make a requirement a little bit upstream for them to be held somewhere, then upstream even further for the case to come actually in front of a judge. I think that might actually be months. So within, oh, fuck, no. No, not for prosecution cases. So either prosecuting, we don't. If you don't prosecute them, usually deport them.

Okay. Or return the back. I'm not sure what that. Sometimes that's immediate, if they're Mexican, if they're going like El Salvador or somewhere, it could take a while. I'm not, I've never done that part of it, so I'm not, like, not preview to how long it takes really. But like in New Mexico specifically, if I arrest a smuggling load and this guy, they decided to prosecute him. We process the aliens separately, and then we, that guy goes to court, and then usually the next, if it's like I say, it's a Friday or Saturday,

he's going to get arraigned on Monday. So initial, and then they go through like initial, and then they have the pretrial, the initial, then they have the, where it goes up, and then they usually get, you know, a sign of an attorney or whatever, and then they do sentencing, like, immediately. What if it's an illegal alien? Those depend, I don't, fucking, it depends on if they're like, so what happens is you arrest an alien,

and if, let's say you charge them and prosecute them under one of the USC's that we do, So they either do jail time, right, if you're going to prosecute me or do jail time. So then if they come back, it's what's what we call it reinstatement, right? So they get reinstated of the original deportation. And then the time just gets longer and longer. The time they'll actually. Yeah, because they're supposed, like, once you get deported once, you have like a, you can't come back for five years or 20 years or whatever the hell.

It depends on what the crime is, you know what I mean? Because you'll find guys like in fucking Michigan, like they got, you know, you catch somebody and the guy was like in Michigan. and he had like a salt and battery on a police officer, whatever, and got some bullshit. But went home for Christmas. Right,

and he goes to see his mama for Christmas. So then he crossed back over and then we caught him and then you're like, holy shit, look at this background. And then you can get, you can get them,

you know, more time, like if it's a bad dude. Talk me through the deportation process. I am not that familiar with the deportation process. Give me the broad strokes of what happens

if somebody is found to be in the country legally. I think they go, no, this is just me talking to my ass. but I'm pretty sure they go from when we release them, we go pick them up. Yeah, we have a department that picks them up.

Usually I think that's kind of what ICE does, but they pick them up and then they set them in front of a judge, a deportate, like an actual immigration judge, not the, like the one in New Mexico is like the federal judge. So like since we're federal, they have to go to federal court. And then that guy decides if they get deported, if they have any kind of grounds to stay here. Because sometimes you arrest people and,

like maybe they have a bunch of USC kids and maybe they had a job and they've been here for 30 years you know what I mean and like they're contributing to society and they're not a dream and they're not a ship act you know and then I don't know then they decide maybe they can stay or maybe they decide they can go back and then they have to wait so many years and they can apply or whatever but for deportation if the decision let's say it's a Mexican citizen just because obviously it shares the southern border they literally just you know if they're deported to Mexico if they're from like just south they just take them you take them to the border Like to the border crossing? In a Border Patrol vehicle? We talk about a bus and you just... Yeah, yeah. And they literally just drop them off. Well, we have the POE there. Yeah.

So you have the... There's a station there at the... Each port has like a little station. And you do their paperwork and you walk them up. And then you're like to sign that. They have their paperwork that says that they're whatever. And then they just get walked over. I'm...

Yeah. Pretty sure that's us. That's customs does it. I have never done it. I've only done it like... Um, with... Like, the title for... where they're waiting prosecution.

So they have to wait in Mexico. Right? So then we walk them up and they have their paperwork and then they come back. They come back on their date or whatever and go to court, their immigration court or whatever. So it depends on which person you arrest and what they get arrested for and what their charges are and where they're from. Because some countries like Cuba, they won't take people back. Really? So they go to a camp.

and then they I guess apply for some kind of fucking visa or something shit I don't know so if you are deported does that come with a time period yeah I think it's five I think the first time is five years

and the second time's 20 years unless it's maybe you're a felon it might be 20 years or might be forever I can't fuck I don't know I don't know all that day but there's a I think the minimum is five years yeah and I'm not asking necessarily for specifics because my more broad question is how's that time restriction working?

Do you guys ever see repeat customers? Yeah. Okay. So there's basically no teeth associated with that, it sounds like. I think the problem is it's not. Yeah, I don't know because it seems like I don't know who's, you know, I don't know who fucking makes those calls and doesn't really matter to me. But I think what's happening is they just are so fucking desperate to get over here that they're just going to do whatever. it takes to get here because their situation where they're from just fucking sucks so goddamn bad they're

like but if they're not a felon and they're not committing crime does that system just kind of play itself out they if you roll them up again it's like cool we're going to deport you again and then if they try again you roll them up it's just is it just a merry go round of that system occurring yeah well they do the thing is then you go to jail right if you keep coming back you go to jail longer and longer and so i think that's the deterrent right it's either like deporting or you or you go to jail because I mean you can't really

yeah you can't really fucking like you know that wouldn't be very human to beat them or something I mean I don't even know like if you're not if you're not discouraged by jail time then I mean we really I don't think we have anything more extreme than that to really do yeah and I guess

depending on you know if you're if you have a fire at your back you're only going to continue to move forward so if they're coming from a situation that even jail time looks to be a superior option that what is behind them. Yeah. I mean, I imagine they're just going to continuously try and try and try again until they're successful.

Yeah. I mean, fuck. I don't, it's, I, I, the, no matter what, how you slice it, it's, fuck, it just sucks for, it sucks for them. And I'm not, you know, I'm not this fucking, like, super excited about it. But, like, you just, we just go out and you, yeah, you rest of the people. the arrest and I mean definitely granted now there's an upswing you know I mean when I came in versus now we're we're definitely more smuggling loads and more this like in my experience just

more more more more action going on because it was kind of dead you know and I came in and now it's popping off but so you did exciting yeah well you're busier for sure I can imagine so academy you've done the checkpoint you did prosecutions you did intel what other what other kind of things have you done in your career? There's a there's a team I don't know if you're familiar with like there's like Bortac and BORSTAR. I like in a very peripheral way. Yeah they're

like the high level guys or whatever right so I joined the Red Hat Stepchild team to that which is called MRT which came out like in 2011 or something. What's that stand for? Mobile Response team so we're like Bortak's bitches no I don't know I bet you that's on a slide somewhere probably at the Bortak

office probably when I went there and they I've said that, no, I'm sorry. So you go to, you go train. Describe for people what Boratak is. I know there's... I don't know what they do. I know they do borrins and stuff. Yeah.

They're like our tactical team and you go to the selection process. Yeah. And it's a selection like where you can get weeded out. Um, I did the MRT thing because the selections for those teams were in the wrong time of the year. So the one I went to is like, hey, it's new. We're going to start this team because we want, we need more guys. We need 250 or 150, whatever the hell fuck it was.

I don't know. We got a certain number of guys to fill this team. like, oh, that sounds fun. My response team, let's do that. So we go and you train, and then they bring in Bortak and BORSTAR, and one teaches you to the medical side and one teaches you the tactical side. And those guys were, you know, on days would be super cool, and they're on days, not so cool. Yeah.

You do a lot of, you know, rucking, which I found out that I hated, that I didn't ever hate it, but I do hate it very much. And medical and just shoot and shoot and shoot and shoot and shoot and shoot and shoot and shoot and shoot and shoot and shoot and do carry letters and shoot more. and what's the mission statement for the MRT? Obviously they're mobile and they're responding to things. Yeah, we just, I don't know. I think we're supposed to fill gaps. We'll give me an example of when they would be activated.

So every sector has a team and every sector controls their team differently. Like in our sector, we have a detail you can do where you just do that all the time and you fill holes in the line. Yeah. You're a stopgap. And other teams, they have like, mouth. Mountain teams, like in Arizona. I think they have mountain teams. And they have, you know, you have cool little teams.

You can do South Texas. They, fuck, I don't know, the river teams or whatever. I don't have no idea. The team I've been on is, well, when I was on it, I'm not on anymore. We did a lot of border stopgap stuff for super remote stations that have, like, literally when we got there, some of those stations are like 40 dudes. And they're supposed to be, like, patrolling, like, 150 miles of border. And you're like, good luck with that.

Yeah. You're talking with 40 dudes total, not 40 dudes on shift at one time. No, no, yeah, no. I mean, all those stations have been beefed up since then. Those guys were fucking, we think we can track, like, where I am. Like, I'm an okay tracker. I mean, I can see a footprint in the sand, right? I'm not fucking great at pretty much anything except for maybe a shooting or something.

And those guys are like, I'm sitting there next to one of the dudes on one of the details. And we're down to, like, 45 days. from like sleeping their fucking like training building or something in a cot and he's like there's like eight bodies oh sorry bodies just means it lilyleans it's not a derogatory term in any fashion whatsoever and he's like there's like eight people there and I was like get the fuck out of here like you like he's like you see those rocks those rocks that are kicked like look at the ground I'm like the fuck are you talking about dude it's like shale you know like one's flipped over like oh because it's like been the the rocks wet on one's

some shit. I'm like, fuck, we're just giving them shit. Because it's like, crap. There's nothing there. There's fucking desert

and shitty bushes and fucking rocks and you're like, your fucking I. Like, there's no fucking way that you know what the fucking time.

And God damn it, if like eight hours later they didn't catch anybody, as I was like, Jesus fucking Christ, dude, he's like, you know,

just every fucking day. One of them is wearing Levi's in his left leg is one inch longer than his right. Yeah. So you do, you do,

not the Levi part, but you do the shoes. Because, I mean, they fucking like, I can't give way the TTPs, whatever, but like those guys fucking wear shit on their feet, you know,

and like cowhows and all kinds of crazy shit. Yeah, I was going to say. The broad way to talk about what you're saying is when bipeds move places, we have footprints. And this is something that I saw in my old job occasionally, and we would even talk about it. Like Vietnam era,

they would wear tire treads on the bottom of their feet because then they would try to walk in the tire treads crossing the roads because one of the main places you can see people is especially if there's a berm and we used to practice this like how do you cross a road we would call them danger crossings anytime where you're going to be exposed going across it's like you know how do we obscure the fact that we were there sponges on the feet sponges would probably just look like a sponge mark in the sand but like the kong wearing tire trade better than a jordan one yeah i've seen some wild shit converse all-stars those are pretty yeah people just like walk through the berm

I'm like clearly somebody has come here. And there's some like really good. They'll come afterwards and rake stuff. And you're like, holy shit. Like that was actually a really good job. So yeah, there's. But on a fine powder road, you're like, yeah, there's a. For sure.

Yet they, there is a tracking course that was an option at one point. And I just, like, I don't know. I don't need to be down there like, a German shepherd walked here two weeks ago. That way when you go hell cutting, though, you'd be like, I'm smelling this. You can smell the elk from far away. You don't actually have to be a tracker to smell elk. I see his fur On the branch

You've never hunted elk have you Fuck no My brother and my brother-in-law Went to Colorado twice and came back O-Furt and I was like That's what happens But my guys in my station They go out hunting in Mexico all the time

And they kill monsters all the time I'm like I gotta go with those dudes If you go to my point being like You don't need to go to a tracking course Because A if you hit him in the rut They're out there making more noise Than any animal you've ever heard

And if you catch them in that rut they are pissing all over themselves and like wallowing yeah and if you're down way and just yeah that's elk oh okay yeah I haven't gone fuck I'm I'm gonna it's other than Missouri because that's like in this fucking desert out here like what am I gonna hunt but then they're like there's elk we just gotta get the right zone because down there you put in like a lottery or whatever oh I've been putting into the lottery for years and have yet to draw a tag because there are monsters there and that's why people want to go there yeah well maybe we can work

something out later It's probably illegal. So, yeah, I don't think we have up here, what is it, Department of Fish and Wildlife. But you put in, I think down there you can put in as a team, though. So if you have a resident person on your team, I can get the specifics, but I know guys do it all the time because they're teams. But are you residents of New Mexico? You're going to have a, so up here, you know, people put in for a lottery for elk as well. As a resident, I can pretty much go to Cabellas and get my general tag.

There are areas you have to put a lottery in for, but I will get an elk and deer tag every year as a resident. Yeah, I don't know if there was all to look into it, but I know there was, they were telling me there was some kind of team thing where if you put in with four guys and one of you get strong. Yeah, if one gets drawn, you all get a tag. Yeah, they, but I don't know if you can put a non-resident in. Yeah. It's worth a Google. Check out offline. What do you wish people knew about the Border Patrol or what you guys do that they just can't seem to grasp or it, like, is not talked about? I think the number one thing would be that we're not fucking assholes trying to screw over a bunch of migrants, you know what I mean? Some of you are. Maybe.

Well, there's bad apples in every organization, right? But the majority of the guys are, like, going out and finding people and saving people and, like, taking care of people. Like, I mean, you catch a big group in the back of a fucking semi. Like, you're going to feed them and take care of them. Like, you're not there to punish them.

You know what I mean? Like, we're not the punisher. We're not... no matter what her stickers say. Yeah. You know what I mean? You're not there to just keep people down. Oh, footsie, nice.

Yeah. So I think that's it. I think the fucking people think were these racist fucks that just patrol the border and want to beat the shit out of aliens and none of that's true. I mean, not none of it's true.

I'm sure there's fucking a few guys crazy, I don't know, but, you know what I mean? Like, organization, especially if it's fully huge. I don't know, yeah. And I don't know anybody. You know what I mean? I don't know anybody. like that and it's like

and nobody's going out like God I hope I'm gonna fuck these dudes up like hope I get in a fight today and fuck these dudes up or I hope that I get like I mean most of people you deal with are they're little I mean they're little fucking dude

like you don't get granted there are a bunch you know there are criminals and stuff that cross over and we need to prevent that and and arrest those guys and prosecute those guys and but you get a lot of kids and women and stuff and like that bullshit

where they're like you guys fucking cage people And like we do everything in our power to keep the kids with the parents and usually they Usually they cross over, you know, they're separated or whatever and we do the everything we can to find the parents to go with the kids or I mean or you get shit fucking you get we get god damn We used to have a bunch of shitheads that would buy fucking kids in Mexico or whatever rent a kid and then claim that's their daughter Their son whatever little fucking kid pay some amount of money or whatever crossover then dick's that fucking kid because like oh it's a family in it right so that's my daughter we're gonna take care when we put them in a you know it's a setup or whatever and they

just fucking leave the kid meaning they would leave the facility and just leave the kid behind yeah like if they got like okay we're gonna you're gonna you're gonna get paperwork show up to court you know blah blah blah there's your daughter and then next thing you know the daughters with 20 other kids that are fucking abandoned somewhere and it's like we're not fucking doing that like we're we go out of a way to interview everybody is the best we can. And we found a lot of those people and we separate. Like, we don't want some fucking dude

that's not the dad. Yeah. Like, so you go on CNN or whatever and you see Border Patrol separates families. Well, there wasn't the real goddamn family. You know what I mean? Like, we took a girl that wasn't fucking his from him to put with his real mother or father or until

we could find them and separate them. Like, just because the fucking guy says like, oh, they took my daughter. It doesn't mean. It's his fucking daughter. You know what I mean? And that's his fucking daughter. Yeah. You know what I mean? And that happened a lot a lot a lot a lot that I saw that I was like every experience I'm telling you on this like this is shit I see with monies I'm not going second hand or something like I've did that and I was like fuck you're just like what the like it's hard to maintain your faith in humanity

when you see stuff like that yeah and you're like but then it's like so you're not only are you doing this, you're separating these people and trying to find their real mother, you're taking care of them, then someone else is telling you your piece of shit because you're caging children and you're doing all.

Like, so you're like super motivated to like, be honest with people. I don't know. I just remember hearing that we were caging. You know, it's like, I remember hearing that a lot and I feel like they had imagery of that and I don't know necessarily

where that imagery came from. I mean, you put up, we were putting up temporary because we had so many, you know, like incursions. you're putting up temporary housing to try to process everybody

and we're super goddamn efficient like processing like large numbers of people like and especially now our guys are fucking like Johnny on the spot with that shit but you have to have some kind of temporary stuff you can't just

like it takes a wall to build like a brick and mortar giant facility you know what I mean so you got to like you go to tents and then from tents we build like modular things and from modular things they build like you know they build better stuff and the agents and the guys are like you're just trying to keep up

you keep your head above water and get because you don't want anybody to stay there very long because you want to feed them and like take care of them and you don't want people to be sitting there like hungry or not you know you want to get them close because we give them clothes

we give women like diapers you know like fucking hygiene products food baby formulas yeah yeah and we take care of everybody like we're always made out to be some fucking like huge fuckers they just want to fuck everybody over but like so yeah we might separate a family uh but it wasn't a real newsflash not a real family so we're actually gonna sometimes not a real family yeah right um sometimes well if we separate do you we not we don't take kids from their the real fucking i'm not

separating like yeah in my experience we're not taking uh in my experience i've never taken a child from their mother and separated them like by themselves because that would be a shit show and you like why would you fucking do that yeah why would you want to do that that would actually be yeah like that's just a common sense I'm like no one's like why wouldn't

an agent do that like they wouldn't because they're not fucking cock suckers and they're not gonna do that unless you're like you know if you're interviewing or something do you work in a section where the border wall is complete no it's because it's so hit and miss. What was going to have?

Like there's like the cities, typically like where the cities are, you've got a good chunk. And then you've got pretty open, open areas that are just like barbed wire fence. So I was going to ask because I could care less what people think about Trump. One of the main things he was talking about, like border wall. Building the wall. As somebody who works as that would be one of the levels of defense, I guess, for the country. Let's say the border wall had been. totally complete. What impact do you think that would even have on your job?

My, I don't know. You know what? I don't fucking know. My take on the border wall is everyone's like, we should build a wall and it'll keep people out. It's not going to keep people out. What it, what the point of the fucking wall is is you build a wall, encompasses the entire southwest. So with that wall comes a service road on the inside of that wall. Now you have access to the entire border, which we do not have access to, like, all the time right now, right? Just given the conditions of the... Yeah, yeah, yeah, because of mountainous and all this shit. Like, yeah, it's fucking horrible.

Like, when you go in, like, Arizona and, like, South New Mexico and, like, South Texas, you got rivers, you got... I mean, there's so much shit in the fucking way. Even in San Diego, the drop zone I used to jump at, you know, we'd go out over the water, and you can see there's a fence section that extends out in Imperial Beach. Actually, I've only seen it from the air, so call it a couple hundred yards, and then you can see the clear delineation, and it is... Yeah. The old landing area zone, we would see board patrol cars all the time because there is that distinct road.

And then it goes towards Otai. Yeah. And the fence stops. So it's the mountains start coming up. And then it's this zigzag of like these dirt roads. Yeah. So the thing about what the wall can do or does does help us with is is response time. So if you have a road, this is my personal opinion.

You have a road. You have a fence. You have a road. So now you can drive the road. So the people hit the fence, yeah, they're going to find a way over it. They're not fucking stupid. We're under it.

Yeah, whatever. But if you have stuff, you know, you're watching it or you have stuff happening, you know, whatever the hell they use, you can then respond. It gives you time to respond. As opposed to just like, you know, whatever. I think if people, you can't get to it. If politicians or people in charge talked about it from a more practical perspective,

I think people would understand it more. that because I don't ever remember hearing anybody talk about that aspect. It was just build the wall. The wall is the solution. The wall is impenetrable. It'll stop everything, which really has not been my experience with human beings. No. Some are smarter than others.

Some are actually just total dumb fucking rocks. But my theory has always been if you build a 30-foot wall, the 32-foot ladder maker is making a lot of money. Yeah. There's ways around it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you want to like, yeah. So if you have a fucking way to get there, you can respond.

It's just to slow you down, right? It's just a, it's just another tool. It's like, they're like, why don't border patrol agents use like, whatever the fuck, I don't know. Like all this electronic shit and all this crap, like, because the dudes. Probably do, though, for sure. Let's just say there's some, even in my experience, had an O-Tai, there's some interesting observation posts. Right. Right.

And then you're like, well, that's what you got fucking horses, because they go in the train you can't go to, dirt bikes. ATVs, like, you have guys and like, then they're tracking. Like, you got to be able to track any, but, but what helps is if you can respond to the area and see the incursion and then you can respond accordingly instead of like, I think that there's like 50 miles here, like, yeah, let's just fucking take a shot in the dark. It just makes it more efficient to respond. So I think this whole thing about the, oh damn. What is this, Michael?

So this is, looks like red is, I can't read it from here. Red is border well built 2017 to 2021. Vehicle barrier. Damages in blue. Oh, wow. So there's huge sections that are totally damaged out as well. Yeah. It looks like, I'm guessing this is the river right here.

Yeah. Yep. Which is a natural barrier to a degree. Unless you can swim. Or a boat. Or walk. Yeah. When it's down.

Holy cow. I wonder if people actually have. have any idea. Do you happen to know the length? Obviously, it's a non-Porse board. I think it's like 800 and some miles. It's got to be more than that. Of the southern border of the United States?

Michael, can you Google the length of the southern border in the US? It's got to be over 1,000 miles, is my guess. It could be. That's a crazy visual. Wow. So it looks like it goes, what is that? El Paso and Juarez, and then,

man, is it using just that water barrier from there? I think there's the, I've seen pictures of some vince down there. I don't know. 1900 miles. Wow. Oh, shit. Well, I was way to fuck off.

There was a nine in there. There was a nine. You were about 50% low. I was going to guess, I guess, I don't know, a thousand or something like that. So how long have you been doing this? I'll be 14 years in April. How much longer do you want to do it? Until I'm 50.

Okay. In 41, I got nine more years left. Do you enjoy it? Yeah, it's great. I mean, it's fine. It's got ups and downs, you know? Yeah. I really enjoyed the like the MRT stuff and and that kind of stuff.

Like when I was younger before I had kids, and it's kind of nice to have, to like go into some of the stuff like the courtroom stuff and stuff like that, like as your kids get older because you're not working like in that shifts and like, yeah, being gone like 45 days at a time. Like we did some stuff in like, might not North Dakota.

So how does that work? I mean, essentially a group, a federal agency or a group inside of the border patrol asks for more bodies and they surge you to different locations? Yeah, that or FEMA asked for us. Really? They would be like, hey, can you come help us after this hurricane? We need like law enforcement assistance or we need medical or we need just whatever the hell they need and they and they surge us there. Like that's what they did in my not. They had that flood and then they had like a surge, not insurgent, but like a growth population of the from the fractures.

and stuff and they're like hey we just need help up here with like patrolling and like security and kind of helping out just like general area just to kind of be a show of force because we're um low on law enforcement because it's like blew up but and then the the flood was there so like hey we need help fema's here we're gonna need some help with like you know distributing stuff or whatever i know they were doing that a lot and just ran up that those are the two like main places i've gone and or or hey come down here because we have we're getting a push over here They're like this has become a new hot zone, so let's kind of help stopgap assist those guys. Like, I mean, they're doing a good job, right?

But now there's twice as many or three times or whatever the random number is of incursions. And so we need a little assistance. That's rough, though, man, lifting and shifting 45 days or longer than that, depending on how long. Yeah, friends of mine were, fuck, they would volunteer for everyone. They'd be gone like nine months. That's rough if you have a family. I played that game for a while with a very young family. and man it adds up my only advice to people with that is if you're going to do that do it in an age that your kids won't remember because if you do it in an age where they're getting older it's going to have an impact for sure so so i wanted to do the mrtie and then go into bortac right and then i was like i started i was doing the mrt for a couple years three years four five six i don't know a while and then i was like oh i've been gone for like birthdays and like oh he's walking now and talking and like oh another one and then another one i was because i have four kids and then i

And I was like, holy shit, I'm missing a whole bunch of stuff. Like coincidentally, every time I want to fucking detail something happens, I'm like, okay, never mind. Because Bortex probably, I don't know what they are. I've just always heard that they're gone more than even we were. Yeah. And so I'm like, well, that sounds even worse than what I'm doing now. So I'm like, I don't, never mind. What's your favorite part about the job?

Honestly, it's the dudes. It's like the fucking hanging out with the guys and the teamwork and doing all the, Don't forget the girls. It's 2023. You're not being inclusive. Well, there's like fucking five at my station or something. All right. You know, there's no.

All the girls are a station. They're super cool though. It's just like, you know, the guys, you know what I mean? They're all the Border Trail Agent chicks. I think they even, women, sorry, women. They do even more, right? Because they're trying to show up even more than the guys are. So you get some pretty, like, the women are pretty squared away.

Yeah. Whenever you, when you get down to it because they're like, hey, I got to step up my game. to match. Because if you're a female and you're on patrol and you're by yourself or something happens, like, you're fucking by yourself. Yeah.

Like no one's coming to save your ass. I mean, it can get pretty remote, right? I mean, even out in Otae, it was a lot of individual officers that were riding around in their vehicles. Oh, yeah, I've been. Which was spectacular, because if I landed off DZ, I have gotten a ride back.

Thank you very much, more patrol. They're like, hey, dude, what's up? I'm like, I swear to God, I'm not invading the United States via the air. My wallet is, of course, not on me. I have no proof of my citizenship or identification. Yeah. Could you give me ride to Skydive standing?

They're like, yeah, for you can get in. Yeah. So the, yeah, because you go on patrol and you can be 50 miles from anybody. Like literally any human. Yeah. Except for some random ranch you might run into them and know when you're like, holy shit, there's a house out here. Like, how the fuck do they get groceries? That's actually the number one.

There's a dirt road out of you. What I have? Like, anytime I'm going across the country and airplanes and you get to these crazy remote areas, I always think. There's some ranches down there and you're like, holy shit. How often do you go to? grocery store how many coolers do you have the back in your car and what do you do if you forgot the butter

you know do you go back do you drive Amazon airdrop the stuff because that'd be sweet if they did like a little fucking one of those little like parachute flying whatever the hell those things are called so you love or your favorite part is the people what's your least favorite part the paperwork

well that's just bureaucracy in a government organization yeah doing paperwork the yeah the jobs the job is I don't The problem is I never was like I went to college and got a fucking degree in marketing and now I'm using that

with the business or whatever but you're like oh man do I really want to sit inside a lot like fuck I don't want to do that and so I'm like oh this one's like law enforcement but also way outside and you can do a whole bunch of cool shit because you can keep swapping around you know what I mean like there's opportunities all over

and you can trade you can move to other stations I mean, if you're a bachelor dude and you could bounce stations, you know, you can hop all over the country and do every one of those things that are on the video. And I know guys that do because that's, you know, they promote and they move around or whatever.

But so you have a lot of opportunity to do shit because there's so many dudes, there's so many, and there's so many stations. Yeah. I mean, shit, I don't know how many stations are, but I mean, we have stations in Florida, Louisiana, like every fucking place you get around. I think they have one of whitefish, don't they?

They do. Yeah, that's true. I know a lot of guys have wanted to get whitefish. What I've been told, the turnover is slow, and the slots are not available. Yeah. And it might have something to do with seniority. Yeah. Oh, yeah, the Border Patrol is a pro-seniority. So if, like, let's say, for example, I have 14 years, and I'm at a pretty good station that people like.

So I'm probably, like, fourth from the bottom on day shift. So every time we shift it, I'm on the cutting block, whereas if I could go to another shift, I could give it over the fuck I wanted. Yeah. Or if I went to the station. How much has, did it change for you on a day-to-day level in between political administrations in office? None. That's what people always like. Because when Obama was here.

That's the main talking point, right? When Obama was here or when Trump was here. Fuck, I think Obama deported more people than anybody ever. And I'm not even like, you know, whatever. I'm kind of a little bit. He killed more people with drones than anybody ever else had. He was actually. Like, I was a, I'm like, you know, a little off right or whatever, but I'm like,

I don't care Like Whoever's in office Like the guys on the ground Are still doing guys on the ground shit Does it change your policy at all though Have you noticed a shift in policy? No

I'm sure it does like on the back end Like maybe higher up But since I'm still a fucking grunt And I kind of like being a grunt I don't really want to promote and like Deal with the fucking Bullitt

Like those guys just deal with Yeah they get a lot of shit because they get shit from the top and shit from the bottom, whereas right now I just bitch upwards. But you've been doing this long enough, though, to live through election cycles and hear the promises and the talking points. Yeah. But as a boots on the ground agent, you're not seeing huge change.

I couldn't tell you the difference between Obama, Trump, and now. Like, as far as me being on the ground, like when I walk out, when I drive out to wherever I got to do, like if a load of aliens drives around the checkpoint we chase it down and we catch them or they're in the desert we catch them or they pull up we pull them out of the car and arrest the driver for smuggling like you do that now in 2009 well not as frequently in 2009 but you're doing the same thing like they go to prosecutions and they go to court and then whatever the court does that's not my problem yeah you know what I mean like after that you're just it's just hard to

I'm honestly trying to think about like if there's a difference and there isn't like we have the sometimes ammo changes and the guns change we went from an H&K to a Glock but like what was that driven by? I think the FBI. Okay. I think the FBI was like nine millimeters the way to go and we're like cool. We're all everyone's going to nine millimeter and maybe the ammo is cheaper. I don't know. They probably got a one second. Okay, if we buy a million glocks versus two million blocks they come at $20 less per.

Let's just not pretend that that doesn't happen at the higher levels of thinking as well. Yeah, yeah. Like we have an X amount of budget. If we say we want this many, our price per model goes down, 22 long range for everybody. Yeah. Shoot them 50,000 times. Yeah. Has the volume of people that you interact with increased?

And what do you think is causing that? Yeah. In my personal experience, the volume is definitely increased. Can you put a... I don't know. I don't know politically. Like, I can't fucking talk about the politics or like the upper people decisions. I don't even...

Yeah, yeah. I think the... I think what's happening is maybe the... Because we've always kind of done the same thing. Yeah. I'm wondering if like... When did you start feeling an uptick? I think it was like 18, right?

Whenever the... What are they called? What are they called? Yeah. I was like, thank you. making hordes and like that sounds like something like orcs yeah I'm from Lord of the ring shit yeah I have not yeah twist that thing to your towards you yeah there you yeah yeah yeah not a not hordes um yeah I think it was from that and I think once they did it

they're like oh we should try this bonsai shit and see if we can cross so much did it just overwhelm the border essentially when that many people just I don't even know how you would either stop or even attempt to well you're making yeah so you're what you're doing is you're just you're for a while like the border patrol guys are just playing catch up right you go from pretty low numbers and then like i guess cyclically they cycle up i'm not sure what those numbers are but you're just responding and now we're putting we've been putting in stuff like you know to help to like respond forever right as opposed to just maybe in the past cyclical responding whatever yeah because we're always we have always such an influx of agents now like gadget hiring and new hires and

stuff that our agent numbers flux quite a bit too yeah I'm sure that's the same but the military whatever it is and people forget that you know and budgets well they want to have a net game people talk about this in the seal community often hey 300 x number of guys made it through training this year great job and 300 x number of guys got out we're okay like the head from a head count perspective we're great it's like yeah you have the same amount of beating hearts but you lost seniority. Well, not only seniority, but yeah, hundreds of years of experience. You can't, a one-for-one swap doesn't work unless you're swapping one-for-one with

the same level of a 30-year dude with another 30-year dude, that's a one-for-one swap. A 30-year dude or gal with somebody at the first time on job, like, great, like, I'm glad that they have that roller, but don't think that they have the same capability. And I'm sure in your line, your former profession and currently in whatever you're doing now is like jujitsu. I just sell common. have different, like we were saying, do different jihitsu studios, right?

Like we have different stations. And maybe one is like, their blue belts are like fucking badass. And then one is the blue belts like, well, you can be a blue belt. You know what I mean? And then they fight and they always destroy them. So like at our station, like, maybe we're really good at vehicles and

catching smother loads and desert or whatever. And this team is really good at water and bush, like, tracking through like, mesquites and fucking junk, not jungle, but like woods or whatever, you know, and this one's mountain terrain guys, like, and everyone has, and then you start swapping around, and all of a sudden you got a mountain guy at the checkpoint,

and he's like, oh, what the fuck's going on here, you know? So you got to retrain it, right, and you're swapping, you guys get swapping. And so there's like a learning curve, you know, because every station, it's not like every agent is the same. Every station has a culture and every station has a skill set, and they impart that when you go through the FDO program and stuff, you learn that culture, and then you also learn if you're going to like it or not, you know what I mean? Do you enjoy the job enough to recommend that people pursue it as an occupation,

or would you try to talk people out of it? I think if you like to be outside and you're comfortable working on your own. I mean, our station's a little different because they're the checkpoint, so sometimes you're with a bunch of guys, you know. And we have more interaction. I probably know more about guys in my work than I know, like I spend more time with them my wife. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean?

I'm coming here. Whereas you can go to some stations and you might be in your truck by yourself every day for 10 hours and you're not ever going to talk to anybody except for a muster when you leave. Some people actually dig that way. Yeah, yeah, right. For me, I'd be like, I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. I like a talk.

I'm a talker. So, like, if you want to be out and do that, then you're going to be, that's the board. If you want to sit in an office somewhere, the chance of you're getting one of those sweet gigs, probably not so high because they're sweet gigs because lots of people want them. Yeah. And so or if you don't feel comfortable going hands on with someone or someone talking shit to you, definitely don't because we are hated by most, a lot of people south the border. We're also hated by the people that live in our communities are big, typically big fans unless it's a small community. And we're like the law enforcement. We help the law enforcement guys.

Depends on kind of which state you're in. Yeah. I mean, I think people in New Mexico are, it's pretty liberal state, but I think we're pretty, they like us. Um, and then also it's going to depend on like what you want to do. Like if you're, if you, if you can handle stress and working like in hot and cold and, you know, and if, you know, if you want to use a gun, right? Or if you're, if you're willing, if you're willing and able to have to use a gun if you need to because you don't, you don't want somebody who's like, oh, I hope I never used my gun. I've heard that. Not, not from agents, but like other, like law enforcement training.

I heard a guy was like at one time he told me he was like I don't know whenever he's gun I was like oh my god dude you're like a sheriff's deputy wherever like you should probably not be a sheriff's deputy because you guys like people think

I mean our jobs whatever I don't think I'm special and I don't think anything I do is hard right other people might be like oh no that's fucking whatever but when I see cops like my brother used to do like making 18 fucking 22 grand a year being a sheriff's deputy and like going to domestics and stuff

like oh fuck fuck that at least when I'm doing it like we have technology and night vision or whatever you know we have like our our their motto is like we own the night right like porto owns the night like you come into the night we're gonna you're fucked yeah that's our bread and butter um so you're like we have that and i'm not like walking up to like a door with a do with a gun on the inside like yeah i might see a guy at the gun but like i'm not gonna be probably walking up on them you know i mean without seeing him first from a

distance and you know like it's just it's a different job yeah I mean people could drive the checkpoint shoot you in the face I guess I mean that I've I've at our station I think I've had a guy pull a gun I'm dude like at point once and he like uses flashline smacked out of the guy's hand but well typically you don't have that I want all law enforcement officers to not want to use their gun but I want all of them to be prepared to do so right no 100% there's a difference that's exactly somebody saying hey I hope that I don't to use this okay comma but you better fucking be ready to

if you need to and you need to understand what your job is and also when you fucking pull your gun out make sure one that you can shoot the fucking thing accurately and that you know what's behind or what's to either side of what you're what you're gonna fucking

do you mean the basic firearm principles that are on every range in the US yes be aware of what's in front of and behind your target yeah yeah that's a pretty wild one like I've been a situation with guns. I've never been downrange from a shooting, right? So I can't fucking tell you what that's like.

But you're shooting fucking paper, and paper doesn't shoot back. So extra training besides the training you're getting would be perfect. It's like the fitness thing, right? That's how I got in the fucking... Yeah, tell me a little bit about that. What do you got going on? So we have a...

Because I think what you're doing, is smart and healthy assuming it doesn't detract away from people's primary role. Like people want to join the military? I'm like, cool, do the military job. And when you're thinking about getting out, like think about the other things, but don't do too much of the other thing while you're doing that.

The side hustle, not a bad thing. Yeah, so we have a company called Crandall Fitness. I'm original, so he's my last name. Yep. And we do like home gyms. We do commercial gyms. We do Fort Blitz. I mean, Fort Bliss. We do fucking military bases. So when you say you do gyms, you're talking about helping design and then build up? Yeah.

Like we do stuff like rogue rep. Power racks, bumpers, bars. So when I was 16, I grew up on a farm. So I did 4-H and I did fucking horsemanship and, you know, nerdy shit. Well, firearms, you know, competition since I was like 12 years old. All the country boy stuff and Ricky and all that shit. So there's no gems except for the YMC and it's sucked ass and there's like 17 miles away. So like, I'm not trying to fucking town.

Right. We drive to town. I'm not driving to town. do that. I'm going to drive the bucket town. I mean, the town I grew up, it was not in, eight miles away that I went to high school, and it's 250 people, so it's pretty big.

Yeah. I was pretty big deal. Yeah. In my class of 24, maybe we graduated 23. I think maybe our class president might have dropped out. And so I started building a gym in the basement of parents' house out of equipment that our school would buy equipment from this company.

And so I would, so I've had one. went to college like once we got out of the dorms me and some friends moved in duplex we like moved in the garage and then my other friends moved in next door to us my brother moved in with me and then now we have two garages so now we have two garage gyms so we're doing that shit like 90s it 98 99 2000 yeah and then every time i'd move i'd have to move that giant amount of shit everywhere we go so i've always had like this passion for home gym so like we're going to build a gym oh build a gym you have to get permission to the board control they said yeah you can

have a side hustle, you know, as long as it's not taken away from your job. It doesn't. Which is fair. Yeah. So then we started and fucking the gym, COVID hit and the gym idea just, we were ready to rock and all that thing and it just blew up. And so I just went, I think we call that timing. Yeah. So we hard righted.

I was like, I don't know anything about designing equipment, but guess what? We're going to sell equipment. So we started with like weights and bars and just started like selling them local. like because all my connections are law enforcement right so and then we sold out of them like fuck let's get a container like let's do a 20 foot like 38000 pounds of whatever then they were gone before he got it was like holy shit we might be on to something and it just fucking rock and roll after that and then we opened up a warehouse we did that for a year and now we have a then we had a retail store and then now we have two retail stores but everything we make is like I purposely try to break

every fucking thing we make yeah with my forklift I try to snap bar and a half I try to break bumper blades I'll throw them off the tops of the racks and because I want everything to be bulletproof because I work in an environment where people will destroy everything that they've ever been given yes be given all government service so if they can't destroy it no one can destroy it because they fucking love breaking shit so I can do my job and my wife thank fucking God for my wife because if I had like a wife that was didn't do shit you know what I mean like a dependipotamus if you you will? Yes. Yes. If I had a wife that was like,

hey, honey, can you go to work? And I'll just say, and get my nails done. I've been at fucking work, and we've gotten, like, loads early, and she would go to the warehouse and, like, take the forklift and go get the ramp. It's like 350 pounds, and somehow managed to get it onto the... Because you have an hour or whatever,

to unload them. She would unload. But I get there after work, and it's unloaded. And she would do the whole fucking thing where I saw with the forklift, and put it away in the warehouse. I'm like, fucking, thank God, I have you. You're fucking badass. And her fucking family. She has 78 million siblings.

No, I'm just kidding. She was like eight. Yeah. But all of her siblings and then all of their kids. We did, we moved in our new store a while, like a couple months ago, a month ago. And they showed up like 17 strong or 20 strong. And we did 150,000 pounds, I think, three semi loads in like five hours. Wow.

75 pallets of weight. Yeah. Pure weight. And even like my sister-in-laws and my nieces, if they don't can't lift or they can't do whatever, they're like sweeping or they're like cutting the bands off the pallets or taking the plastic out. Like everyone,

every, that family, like I have six siblings and we're kind of like that. The Hispanic culture is like, holy fuck, they like, when they come, they can work,

man. They fucking show up. And they, like, I mean, I've gone to help them like do houses and stuff. But like, when they get a crew like,

hey, today we have the crew so we're doing crew shit so we're gonna knock this shit out like now and they do and they're fucking they bring food we order food wherever food boom there no one's breaking and they'll stay there like

until you tell them to leave they will stay no one's like I can't stay like if somebody comes in the morning maybe they leave in the afternoon somebody else shows up like early afternoon whatever but like that truck it just keeps on rolling and they're fucking awesome.

And they are a big part of like, so when I'm at work, my wife runs it and then we have my niece who's fucking awesome. She's been with us for almost since the beginning. And she's badass. She's in college and MSU. But then we have six employees now,

and it's trucking, but we've been doing pretty fucking good, but we do a lot of home gyms. We've been kind of getting into the military bases and law enforcement, like doing the commercial stuff. Yeah. But like for a long time,

it was just like me and my wife, my niece, UPS package is wrapping up. And we're... Oh, Michael and I are very familiar with the old... Oh, because you guys have the fucking shirts. Hope you save me one of those damn devil ones. We can do that.

I was going to say... I need an XL one. I need an XL one. The red ones. Tons left. Yes, I need an ex. I message him. He doesn't care.

You did? Yeah, I was like, please save me one of those devil ones with the... Oh, that's not how that shit works at all. You got a message, Michael. For anybody out there who wants to do anything or do anything, just go direct to Michael. You're welcome. He's the Jamie. Please, yes.

You're the Jamie. Do people reach out to you? I just had that one guy that texted you about. That dick pick he sent you? Yeah. The one you were excited about. Yeah, I saved it. You said, why are you sending me dickpicks of kids?

And he's like, what? You're like, I reported you to the police right now. That's what my wife told me yesterday. She goes, that's how you're rid of dick picks. I was like, what? She's like, you just don't. Why you keep sending me kids' dicks picks? That's weird.

I'm calling the police. He's like, what the fuck? Yeah, that'd be a real fast way to stop that for sure. So I'm assuming that'll be, when you finish government service, you'll probably focus on the strength. And right now, like, I fuck it's where to go. My wife and my niece, they could run that fucker without me. Like, I don't have to do any shit.

Yeah, I'm not doing shit while I'm at work. You know what I mean? I don't have to even focus on it. They can do that, and then when I get out. The thing with Border Patrol is you can do 10 hours and you have a guarantee, like five, 10 hour days. And then you get a guaranteed, like, amount of overtime or whatever. and then you can drop down the percentage.

So what I do is I just scale back the percentage so that I'm not there as long or whatever and then I can leave and do whatever the fuck I need to do. What's great now is that the border patrol, I think last year or the year before maybe, now you get five hours a week to work out. Oh, nice. Yeah.

So I guess they've, I've heard this before from other agencies because a lot of other agencies have always had that. was like if you allow your agents to work out and they're getting paid for it, it's bringing down how many guys call it sick, and it's bringing down like, yeah, because everybody's fucking, because you want everybody to be in shape.

Like, why wouldn't you want all your guys to be? And then most of the stations all have gyms, right? It's weird, right? If you give people paid time to take care of themselves and work out, odd. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's probably like workplace injuries. I bet you would probably decrease slightly, and I'm not trying to draw a direct line,

but I bet you they're corollary in some degree. Yeah, it's crazy. If you take care of yourself, physically and mentally. Yeah, and that's like, I've been doing that for fucking ever. Probably to like, not probably to like a negative,

but like you get to where you, I'm sure you, around people that have done this or yourself, if you're like, aesthetics are more maybe important than you're like, the functionality of what you're doing.

You're like, I want to be fucking gigantic. Will I be able to run really far? No fucking way. Will I be able to do whatever? No. But God damn it in the beach, I'm going to look like a fucking monster.

I never went down that path. Well, I don't, just me then? What? No, there's plenty of people. We call those show muscles, and there's plenty of people where their entire fitness routine is dedicated to show muscles. And you know what? I don't have any judgment. That just don't lie to yourself.

Yeah. I like the strength also with the show muscles. What's funny is that the strength doesn't come from the show muscles. Like you look at the professional football players making millions of dollars, the shit that they're using, their hammies. You know, like it's the glutes. It's all muscles that you're not really highlighting. I guess I'm thinking like the squat bench deadlift kind of Yeah

Yeah I get it And just overpowering smaller people of Jiu Jitza I like doing that To Michael actually that's actually my technique Common occurrence It is a common occurrence You know what's worse is that if you're strong Not worse

Worse for them is you're strong And then you also learn the technique That becomes a nightmare That actually really is Little Ryan What's that dude's name The Jitsu guy Ryan Gordon

Gordon Ryan He's Ryan yeah there you go he's fuck this is he six four is he six four he's big he's huge yeah and I think

two I don't know 23 yeah six four is like the small man size he'd be like six five and above it's good I mean the fact that he was able to do that all totally

naturally is amazing you know except that he never admit he always says he's on steroids I would rather have that than somebody like the liver bitch oh god totally natural

I have no problem I have no problem with somebody saying hey I'm gonna take everything because I want to want to go to town but just don't try to lie to people and say hey if you take this coffee drink that I happen to make you'll also look like me it's like that's what I have a problem any bulls balls yeah mountain oysters fuck no my mom tricked me and either eating those once in high school I was like I was just like yeah it's a mountain oyster yeah hard

and then after after you bite it it's the balls where uh I got a haul ass up to whitefish here oh yeah no worries no where can you where can people find you reach out to you honestly don't come looking for you at a border patrol checkpoint or do right I'm just as an idea for people. If you want to talk shit to me, you won't get the reaction you're looking for. So two things. Where would you point people

if they want to learn more about Border Patrol potential? Yeah, I would Google, I would Google Border Patrol hiring process. I think there's a million sites now. They're literally, not a million,

obviously. There's a bunch of sites that literally dedicated to, like, I think, open source, you can get like the fucking process. Like the entire, like, for like every step.

Well, it's to their benefit to be pretty transparent about what people are going into. So, and then USAJobs.gov. I think we're, we're, I know we're hiring currently.

Okay. And then, like, as far as the fitness stuff, just Crandallel dot fitness, C-R-A-L dot fitness on Instagram. We have Instagram, Twitter, YouTube. Which one is the most accurate? Active one. Instagram. And I'm the one who's going to answer all this stuff.

So if you message me, you're going to actually get me. You're not going to get like somebody else that does know what the fuck they're talking about. Dear sir, madame, we make high-quality M-M-A gear. Yeah, and we design all of the, I design all the equipment myself. Okay. That's awesome. So whenever you get it, it's going to be. If you look at our reviews, you'll see that they're all five-star on Google, and also most of them mention our customer service.

Because we might not be as fucking fancy as rogue or rep or have as much stuff, but you will never be disappointed when you buy our shit. Like, fucking no way. I guarantee it because I'm going to be the one who's fucking making sure it's taken care of no matter what happens. That's a good thing. Fuck yeah. Closing thoughts. What do you want to close with, man? Um, hopefully I've convinced some people today that they listen to your show.

I know you probably have a lot of enforcement military. Like, if you want a good career, war patrols is a fucking badass, but also the shitheads that might not like us. Like, fuck you. We're not assholes or we're not fucking racist. We're doing a job and we actually help way more people than fucking probably any other agency does because we have our own EMTs. We have our own paramedics.

We have our own guys. And all of our guys are like first responder training. And you have to be in the middle of desert by yourself. So we're taking care of those people out there. We're not out there fucking them up. So just remember that whenever you want to shit on us. We're not the bad guy. Unless you're a sovereign citizen.

Yeah, if you're a white shit ed that comes and fucks with me, then fuck you. That's the best closing ever.