Cleared Hot - Powered By BRCC - Full Auto Friday 2/7/2025

Episode Date: February 7, 2025

In this Q&A episode, I dive into three powerful listener questions that hit hard on personal struggles, global issues, and life-or-death moments. First, I respond to a heartfelt message from a 40-year-old father of six who's navigating the emotional wreckage of divorce. He's wondering how to rebuild, find love again, and move forward without being crushed by the weight of his past. I've been there—I share my own experiences with heartbreak, healing, and what it really takes to start over with confidence. Next, I unpack the geopolitical ripple effects of President Trump's decision to label Mexican drug cartels as terrorist organizations. What does this mean for border security, asylum claims, and the flood of firearms crossing from the U.S. into Mexico? Lastly, a retired Army vet who survived a heart attack—known as the "widowmaker"—asks how to deal with the fear and anxiety it left behind, not just for him, but for his wife. I've faced my own health scares and the mental and emotional aftermath of those "what if" moments that shake you to your core. Today's Sponsors: AG1:  AG1 is offering new subscribers a FREE $76 gift when you sign up. You'll get a Welcome Kit, a bottle of D3K2 AND 5 free travel packs in your first box. So make sure to check out https://DrinkAG1.com/clearedhot to get this offer!  Timeline: Timeline is offering 33% off your order of Mitopure while supplies last Go to https://timeline.com/CLEAREDHOT33  

Ladies and gentlemen, I am here with our special guest today, Javelin. We're going to be doing our normal, regularly scheduled programming. But Javelin is in the studio. So you might hear him a little bit during the episode because, well, he gets spicy. Oh, yes, thank you. All right. Go to your thing. He also looks to chew on power cables and cords.

So, yeah, back to our normally scheduled Q&A for today. Try to pick three things that different in theme, but hopefully impactful. And again, I go with, if I get a very very, volume of stuff coming into me. I do my best to answer the questions thematically. For those of you who were able to join me two days ago, it was. I was able to do a YouTube live. I enjoy doing it. I'll make some changes. Thank you for the feedback for the people who listened, who talked about having a moderator to help with the comments, which I think will be very helpful. So we'll continue to do that. Before we get into today's Q&A, do me a favor. Stick with me for 60, 90 seconds. Let's pay the bills here real fast.

episode is brought to you by AG1. I got some of it right here. I actually think I have a little bit on my nose from just drinking a little bit of it. 2025, actually for me, 2024 was about health as well. I am trying to do the best that I can. I've been suffering from, I got diagnosed with AGE, which is known as age for those you didn't catch that. Yeah, I'm getting older. So I'm doing the best I can with my health. You know what to hear a lot of the times? People say, I miss the start of the year. So I don't know when I should start or I wanted to start before and I'm just, I'm not ready. And all I can say is just start now. Trust me, as somebody who's getting older, the earlier start, the better off you're going to be. Age 1. Why do I pick this?

Super easy and convenient. It's a dietary supplement for me. It's an immune system supplement for me. I'm going to read off some things here that it has so you can help make a decision as to whether or not it would be helpful for you. Vitamins, minerals, prebiotics, greens and superfood antioxidants, stress adaptogens, and digestive enzymes. Now, with that, it also comes obviously mixed with water. One of the packs comes with this container that you can mix it in. It's got a cool little tub that goes into the refrigerator, and it also has a scoop that goes with that.

So all that stuff's awesome. Super convenient. It helps me with my hydration. Couldn't be easier. And they have an offer for you, should that sound interesting. AG1 is offering new subscribers a free $76 gift when you sign up. You're going to get a welcome kit, a bottle of, D3K2 and five free travel packs so you can also take this stuff on the road.

And make sure to check out drinkag1.com slash cleared hot to get that offer. That is drink AG1, the word drink alpha golf 1.com slash cleared hot to start your new year on a healthier note. Give it a try. If you don't like it, you don't like it. If it's a positive impact, stick with it. Couldn't be easier. Well, here we are. back to our normally scheduled Q&A.

I tell you what, though, people enjoyed involving Michael. There was some good feedback on potential names for that. Negligent discharge Friday, full malfunction Friday, the bolt action Friday. It was all good. So I'll integrate him in that. And excuse me, I'll start doing some other live stuff as well as scheduled permits. I just can't commit to doing it on a set timeline. So I'll do my best I can to let people know if I'm going to be able to do something

that is live. Let's just dive in. Three questions for today. This first one's a little bit long, and it's not an easy subject. And it's one that I don't talk about very much, and I'll explain exactly why. I've been a long time listener and thoroughly appreciate your insight and insightful responses to the broader way of questions that you receive. On a few occasions, you have covered questions revolving around relationships, particularly divorce. I know you went through what sounded like a challenging divorce yourself, but from the outside, it seems like you've been able to recover and move on with your life. Before asking my question, I'd like to provide you with some insight into my personal circumstances. I got married at 23 years old, not long after I got out of the service.

Like most marriage relationships, mine with my now ex-wife was marked by a number of ups and downs, but unfortunately, the downs eventually are the best of us. And after about 13 years of marriage, our marriage ended in a divorce. During our marriage, my ex-wife and I had six children together. Damn, dude. And accumulated a number of things, including a business and property. It's normal stuff, as I am sure you know, that translates into a financial breakdown of assets that left me in a position where I had to borrow a lot of money to financially appease my ex-wife, as well as put myself in a position where I have to pay a significant amount of child support. Fortunately, I have my children every weekend, and I do my best to stay engaged in my children's

lives under these less than ideal circumstances. That is rough, man. I feel you on that for sure. I am now 40 years old and feel like in some way that while I am not starting my life back at square one, I am most certainly. set back physically, financially, and emotionally after having gone through my divorce. In spite of the loss of what I had hoped for in a marriage and family, I would love to move on in hopes to remarry and try to rebuild what may hopefully look like the semblance of a family.

And with that, would hopefully include a wife someday. I have devoted a substantial amount of time to self-reflection, counseling, and self-improvement with the intentions of reconciling my shortcomings, as well as addressing all of the issues that were my personal contribution to my failed marriage. Damn, dude. I mean, you're attacking it head on, right? You're taking ownership for your aspect of what it couldn't go wrong. And it sounds like you're putting the work in to do what I wish a lot of people would do. I wish I would do more of it from time to time. And that is working on being the best version of yourself. In doing so, I feel like I have earned a degree in psychology. I bet that you do. Self-awareness can most certainly be a gift,

but have also found that through my journey of healing and building self-awareness, I have perhaps become too hypervigilant when trying to relate to people, especially women that I meet and try to get to know. In other words, perhaps in the aftermath of my experiences, I now look at people and relationships through a very jaded lens. On that note, as I have both looked out and engaged with the opposite sex in the form of dating, I am left extremely discouraged. Not only because I am often met with a degree of skepticism, because after all, I am a 40-year-old single dad with six children. written from a previous marriage, but also because the woman I find myself engaging with have lived a lot of life and are bringing in a lot of baggage to the table in different forms. These situations have me feeling extremely depressed and wondering if what's left of my life

will be spent alone struggling to just manage the responsibilities of my life alone. With all of that being said, I'm curious to hear what advice you may have for someone in my situation. Did you go through a period of time where you felt defeated? What measures did you personally take to be able to move on with any degree of confidence to start a new life and succeed at loving again, as well as getting remarried? Wow. There is a lot there. I said at the beginning I don't talk much about this and will reinforce the reasons why.

First and foremost, my ex-wife, regardless of the relationship, her and I may have whatever form it may exist for the rest of our life, doesn't have the opportunity or ability to speak on a platform. like I do. So it is unfair for me to really say much other than broad things about the experience because there is an imbalance of ability to promote the message out there. Two, I have three kids and the internet, it lives forever. Anything that I say about their mother is at some point in time going to be able to be found by them. And I am cognizant of that. And their mother deserves the opportunity to show them who she is. I deserve the opportunity to show them who I am. And nothing comes from me saying anything negative about her or even talking about her specifically in general in a medium that could be looked up years from now. It's not fair to my kids.

So those are the reasons why I don't talk about it much. But I understand your situation. Where you're at, it sucks. Let's unpack a few things here, though. You described a lot the women living their life and bringing some experiences that you talked about through the lens of baggage. Let's just be fair and say this. They may look at you and the experiences and life that you have lived and what you bring to the table as a little bit of baggage as well. All right. There's you at your age with a basketball team. Now, having said that, I don't think it's disqualifying at all because I know plenty of people out there who came from families much larger than yours, and it was totally normal to them. It's the environment that they grew up

inside of. And if you meet somebody like that, I don't think they're going to be scared off by the number of kids that you have, especially as your kids continue to get older. I think it would be tough if you were trying to enter into the dating swimming pool. And all six of those kids were under the age of 10. I mean, as a parent, I can tell you that the work is different when their infants, juvenile teenagers and adults, and that's okay. It is what it is. A potential partner coming into that, you're going to have to find the right person for sure. But I am telling you that the right person is out there. Just remember that you're, you know, the women you're talking about, they might have some experiences and baggage as well. They might view you through exactly the same lens. But there's a solution to that.

And that solution is finding the right person. What advice do I have for someone in your situation? Well, let me answer the other ones first. Did you go through a period of time where you felt defeated? Yes. The divorce that I went through was the single most, what would be the best way to put that? What was not the single most? It was the single lowest part and time of my life that I have ever been through because of what you described in your second paragraph.

And that was when it becomes unwound, I guess people are looking at you as an individual, but in the divorce process and the divorce proceeding, I felt more like a number than anything. At the end of the day, when we were able to come to an agreement, that agreement was anchored in an Excel spreadsheet that basically listed out my worth as a human being in dollars when it came to assets and liabilities, money in a bank account, debt on credit card, retirement accounts, whatever it is, you get reduced to a number. It is the most impersonal, frustrating, soul-destroying experience. And yes, going through that, trust me, there's nothing unique about me.

I suffered through that process. And you know what? My ex-wife probably did too. It's not fair for me to say that I was alone in that. But it was brutal. So I know where you're coming from. Yes, I went through periods of time where I felt defeated. I still go through periods of time.

where I feel defeated. I put out episodes every week, Monday and Friday. This week I did a Wednesday live. In the future, I'll try to do more of those. I could put out an episode a day and it would, in no way, shape or form capture the ups and downs of my life. I could talk about what's going on on my life during that time period, but there is so much more that happens in my life outside of what people are seeing and listening to right now. And there are ups and downs. I do my best to talk openly and honestly about both of them. And at the same time, there are things in my life that are my business and nobody else's business except for the people that are directly involved in it. So even if, and I'll say I've learned this lesson from people I knew or know on the internet who

present and promote, and I don't mean that negatively, they present and promote happiness, success, mountain tops. They have ups and downs too. Every one of them, even the ones that I have seen at the highest mountains, they're walking through valleys to get there. So you are not alone feeling defeated. It is completely and utterly normal. The only advice I have for that is time and constantly remind yourself when you are feeling defeated at your lowest points that nothing will last forever. It will pass. And I remind myself this too, I should say. The other side of that coin is when I feel like things are going really well for me. I also remind myself that that's not going to last forever either. It's a balance. It's going to be up and down. It should be up and down. I think that's the

way that life is designed to be. I have yet to meet a single person who is just on the up and up and up and up, even though there are people out there that promote that. If you get to know them behind the scenes, you might be a little bit disappointed and see it a lot more like a ball swinging back and forth, a pendulum going from side to side. What measures did you personally take to be able to move on with any degree of confidence to start a new life. I moved on. I'm going to strip degree of confidence out of that. I didn't know what to do.

I didn't know what I was doing. I still don't know how to do the vast majority of the things that I participate in. I am brick and mortar coffee shop owner. I don't know how to do it. I work with the management staff as often as I can in real time to try to work through issues that present themselves and they are different every day, whether it's personnel issues and having people that are, you know, average age of early 20s to late teens working for you, the social dynamics of that.

You know, what do you do if the espresso machine starts working? What do you do if the refrigerator stops working? Working my way through this. I have no experience in it and I don't know how to do it. Podcasting. Anybody who has followed this for years, it has gone through so many iterations in different studios and camera setups and audio setups. And I'm constantly just looking for ways to do better and improve. But I don't have a path that I am following. I have suspicions. I have a hunch and I have guidance from other people that are well farther down the road than myself, and I try to follow those, but I don't know how to do this. Parenting. I don't have, God, I do not have a instruction manual, a notebook full of parenting advice and how-toes. Every kid of mine has been different.

They advance in different ways. They express their feelings in different ways. They communicate in different ways. They need different things. I don't have a recipe for it that can work that I can pass on. And I don't have a high degree of confidence in any of the things that I just listed, but I do the absolute best that I can. And I try to put one foot in front of the other. And, you know, you're going to go through times in your life where you're not confident, where you might be placed between a decision that is not great and not great. People love to say, you know, well, there's a good choice and a bad choice. Just choose the good one. There's an easy path on a hard path. You know, pick the harder path because you can follow discipline. It's not that binary.

Sometimes your choices are a shit sandwich or a shit burrito. Either way, you're eating shit. So confidence is going to come and go. Try to find your true north as a person. Try to figure out who you are and where you want to be. Whether you're confident or not, do the best you can to make momentum and movement in that direction. That's the best advice I can give you on that. Succeeding at loving again, I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life alone.

I know that that's something that I have said before. and then Leah came into my life. I knew Leah before I was divorced. She was a coach at the school that I did Jiu-Jitsu at. We had a social relationship. I knew her, but I didn't know her in the way that I know her as my wife. It was not anything even remotely like that. It was utterly and the utmost of professionalism. And I thought when I exited my marriage, I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. And I understand the feeling that you might be in. wondering whether or not you were going to be. All I can say for me, what changed my mind is when my relationship with Leah changed. And I've done an episode with her. She's going to come on again, I think, this month to do a Q&A. I think that's what she wanted to do. She has an open invite. It's freaking impossible to get her to sit down and talk with me. If you want to understand who she is and why she's so awesome, just go back and listen to the episode I did with her. She is my favorite human being. She is my person. And if it wasn't for her, I'm a woman. I'm

I probably would have spent the rest of my life alone. So that person is out there for you and that person is out there for everybody. You might have to go through a little bit of a, you know, like sifting sand to find that person, but they are there. And when you do find them, they will handle the succeed at loving again. Getting remarried, not something I thought I was going to do. If you've gone through the Excel spreadsheet reduction to numerals as a person in a divorce before, let me tell you right now,

you're probably not going to volunteer to go through that again, but you find the right person and you stop thinking about that as much. Having said that, Lee and I are later in our life. And the stats on people later in their life are that they have a lower divorce rate. I'm not sure by exactly how much, but it's a lower divorce rate than people get married earlier on. It was something that I worried less about. I can tell as a person that meeting somebody in their late 30s who is now in their early 40s, you have a better idea of who you are. When I was 23, when my ex-wife was 23, we thought we knew who we were. We were not done growing as people.

Sometimes you can grow parallel. Sometimes you grow apart. I don't think either is wrong. I think you should do the best you can to grow parallel, but sometimes it's not meant to be. It doesn't mean marriage isn't necessarily meant to be. Maybe marriage to that person is not meant to be. Those are just my personal thoughts. I know some people completely swear it off.

Live your life however you want to. I personally believe that life is better with someone, especially if you can find your person. Okay. What advice do I have for you in your situation? Okay. Direct advice for you. Take a deep breath. It's going to be okay. You're not going to be alone for the rest of your life if you don't want to be. It may feel like that right now, but I'll go back to what I said to you earlier. Nothing lasts forever. Be careful the words that you use when you're talking to yourself. Be careful saying to yourself, well, this is it. I'm going to be alone. Well, this is it. There's nobody out there for me. I have, I'm 40 with six kids. And nobody's going to want that. Be careful telling yourself those things because you might end up believing it. And in my experience, it's just not true. Your situation is unique.

And that's okay. Mine was too. I was, shit. I was in my 40s with three kids and a super weird job sitting here talking to a microphone and looking into a camera with who knows who downloads it on the other side of this. Weird background, probably odd things that I enjoy doing. Some of the behavior is probably considered riskier than others in comparison to most, but that's who I am. You know, I'm not going to say they broke the mold with me, but I have definitely different desires than some people occasionally.

And if you find the right person, none of that's going to matter because you'll fit together like a puzzle piece. That person is out there. Don't put pressure on yourself. The world's going to put enough pressure on you as it is. Don't be in a rush and address and identify things. early on. You hear it often in the business world. Hire slowly, fire quickly. Probably good advice for relationships as well. You know who you are better now in life than you did when you were younger. You know the kind of person that you want to be around your kids. You'll understand the

type of role model that you want to set for them. Make sure you find that person. Don't settle. don't sacrifice. Your kids are worth it. You are worth it. And that might mean it's going to take a while. It might mean that you're going to feel like it's never going to happen. Both of those things are okay. It will happen as long as you don't give up.

And I think the best thing that you can do because of the role you have in the life of your children is to be the example for them and show them that regardless of what happens in the world around you, you're not going to be destroyed by it. You are not going to let what happened to you with your ex-wife or what happened collaboratively with your ex-wife. You're not going to let it define you. You're not going to let it destroy you. You're going to show your kids that you can build back and still be the best version of yourself, regardless of what's going on in your life around you. I can't think of a more valuable tool than that. So that is my direct advice. I hope that helps. Today's episode is brought to you by Timeline.

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Let's get back to the show. Question two. Hello, Andy, with President Trump recently labeling Mexican drug cartels as a terrorist organization. I was curious on your thoughts on that this has two consequences for his supporters. One is people in Mexico will now be able to claim asylum at the border by saying they're fleeing from a terrorist organization, which is not good for the current state of the southern border. I'm going to put a pin in that one for a second. I'm not sure whether or not that is actually true. Currently, citizens of Mexico are not able to claim asylum at the border because Mexico is not considered a state country, I should say. What did I just say state? A country that we allow asylum seekers to be from, regardless of the cartel being declared as an FTO or foreign terrorist organization.

So I would double check that one. We should do a little bit of research. Two, gun store owners who sell weapons to straw purchasers knowingly or willingly, who then smuggle them into Mexico, can now be charged with aiding and abetting a terrorist organization. Here are some facts about the guns being smuggled into Mexico from the U.S. illegally every year, more than 10,000 firearms found in crime scenes from Mexico are traced back to the United States. States, according to the ATF, and an estimated 200 to 500,000 guns from the United States are smuggled illegally into Mexico every year from the U.S. is what is known as the Iron River. I was not aware of that. I've never heard that term, Iron River. I'll look into that.

This is a very big piece of the puzzle that has never discussed when it comes to the issue of the border or Mexican drug cartels to me as someone who lives in Canada and has an outside perspective. This is mind-blowing and underlines how America is actively fueling the crisis across the southern border. sorry for the long email and also not trying to sound anti-America. Just curious on your thoughts. Have a great day. It doesn't sound anti-American to me. I love questions like this. I think we need more discourse and we should talk about every topic, not avoid topics. So again, cartels being declared as an FTO. I'm not sure that that gives and I'm pretty sure it does not give Mexican citizens the ability to claim asylum at the border. They are just not on the list in error quotes. And I haven't seen the list of countries that allow asylum seeking.

So we'll put a pin in that one. Let's talk about the firearms. That is an interesting number. 200 to 500,000 firearms flowing south. There are a few reasons that I can think that this happens. And one of the main reasons is that a lot of people who own firearms are not really playing at the tip of the spear when it comes to securing or storing their firearms. I was having a conversation.

I was training the other day with some friends at the gym, and we were talking about, we saw a vehicle that we had recognized, it had some flare pieces associated with it. And somebody made the point of saying, they recognized it to the point of there was discussion, did the person leave their pistol on the dash, or did they leave it in their cup holder?

It's a very Montana holster, is just to put it in your cup holder in the center console. The dash is a whole other level. But that is a calling card for people who are going to smash your window and take your gun. Said this many times, and talking to my law enforcement friends where I live here, firearms are essentially a portion of the economy for those that don't have any money. If you are a drug addict, are the examples that they use.

You can take a firearm. You can take steel said firearm and trade it upstream for drugs. It is as good as cash. Now, what happens to that firearm? It's probably going to get put into that Iron River that you talked about, either heading down south of the border or it can be used for crime. and other states and the United States as well. Some of that comes from people just not being responsible as firearm units and leaving shit out. I can't fathom people doing that, but they do it.

That would probably help a little bit. Straw man purchases. They are probably less common than you may think. I have actually seen a purchase in a gun store be denied because the person believed that it was a straw man purchase. And there are severe consequences for gun owners, gun store. owners that would execute a known straw man purchase. It's not worth it to them. Now, does that mean that there aren't people out there who are really good at presenting themselves and making it look like it's not a straw man? Absolutely. I don't actually think the issue is with the gun store when it comes

to that. The issue, not that they should do a straw man purchase is what I'm saying. The complexity comes from the person presenting themselves at the counter and saying that the purchase is actually for them. is where things get interesting with the FTO designation. And it actually goes beyond just the firearm world. A lot of people are talking about direct action against the cartels. Are we going to do drone strikes? Are we going to send J-Sococ? Tactical options will probably exist south of the border. What's more interesting to me, the declaration of a foreign terrorist organization, and Monday's episode, by the way, is with somebody who specializes in the cartel. Cartels. And we go into this. he goes into it. I'm sitting there listening because I'm a moron.

Designation is an FTO. Let's say somebody does present themselves at a gun store. They attempt a strongman purchase and they're caught. Well, guess what now? You're now aiding and abetting a terrorist organization. Same thing as if you think about this from the trafficking of drugs into the United States. It's drugs for cash. Or maybe it's drugs for firearm. It could be both. maybe the end state would be the same. Drugs for cash, a business or an organization now in the United States that is laundering money and has a tie to the cartel, guess what? You're aiding and abet a terrorist organization. The penalties associated with that, not that the penalties for money laundering are great

by any stretch, but you add to that the aid and abet a terrorist organization, you've taken it to a whole other level. So there are tactical things that change because of the FTO designation, but there are other things inside of the U.S. that people can now be prosecuted with, by with and through, whatever it may be. And the penalty for that can be far, far more severe. And nobody seems to be talking about that. It's all these tactical options south of the border. There's a whole economy associated with what happens once they get north of the border.

The money, the human trafficking, the drugs, and all of the businesses of which there are. are a plenty here in the U.S. that support, and I'll say some probably tacitly, some maybe subconsciously, even though that's a tough one for me, you know, specifically when it comes to money laundering, those organizations now, they're getting pulled underneath the microscope as well. And I think it will be interesting. I am hopeful that those aspects and areas will be attacked just from just equally, that level of emphasis will be equal to what's going to happen and tactically south of the border. Because we have a lot to clean up ourselves north of the U.S. Canadian border.

There's certainly a lot we can do south of the border. But we have some own cleaning of our room that we could do here in the United States. And I really think that designation of being an FTO is going to be helpful. So, yeah, 200 to 500,000 guns. I'd be curious to get a breakdown of the sourcing of those. I bet a lot of those are from petty theft. Some of those are probably from straw man purchases. I think it's unlikely you're going to find a large,

amount of gun store owners that are participating in that, but you might fight a lot of individuals that are, and whether that's through threats, intimidation, leverage, or they're just straight up getting paid. But again, man, slightly different consequences when it's supporting a terrorist organization. So, I mean, is America actively fueling the crisis? Indirectly, I could see that if people are being irresponsible and that irresponsibility is terminating weapons going south of the border. Do I think that anything intentionally is happening? No, I don't think it's intentional at a large scale. But again, I'll be the first to admit that we could tidy up our own room and put as much, if not more effort into what's going on north of the border than focusing on south of the border.

So I love the question. I love the topic. I want to dig into the Iron Road stuff a little bit, look into that. Try to find the numbers and try to find out exactly where they arrived at that figure because it's interesting. And I also think it's an important part of the conversation. Question number three. Let's change gears here a little bit and talk about scaring the shit out of your wife. At the ripe old age of 42, I had a heart attack on December 7th, and in doing so, scared the hell out of my wife. First off, I'm glad you're here to write this email. It would lead me to believe that you survived. I'm 6'4.

I've carried too much weight for years, topping off at 320 pounds about two years ago. I retired from the Army in 2020. I'm a former police officer. I've been around CrossFit in some capacity for close to a decade. And this year was the first time I followed the methodology, a workout five to six days a week with the goal of going again the next day without being in pain from the previous workout. The struggle is real as you get old. I started Jiu-Jitsu in April of 2022. Thank you.

And I have been going with my kids most Mondays and Wednesday nights since. That's awesome. Sunday swims, 30 minutes in the water are my rest and recovery days. Man, that's a great balance. The hospital food was enough to drop me below the 300 pound mark for the first time in too long. Hold on a second. How have you been 320 pounds if you're doing all of those things? Were you eating like an absolute garbage disposal?

What you have talked about is a very, not a very, but it's a robot. training program. So you're around CrossFit, you're doing jiu-jitsu, you're doing swimming. Come on, man. Right. You can't have a good workout routine and then just destroy it by fueling yourself with dog shit. All right. Nobody, regardless of how hard you work out, especially as you you get to a certain age, there's no way that you can outwork out a shitty diet. So I'm very curious how you were still able to weigh that much being that active. Moving on. Despite the Widowmaker, Heart attack, a partial clot in the L-A-D. It looks like one, I don't know, what that acronym stands for.

It's one word their way I'm looking at L-A-D, Lima Alpha Delta. The rest of the health markers are in the black or moving in the right direction. There's no damage to my heart. Damn. All great news, but as I mentioned, I scared the hell out of my wife. Although she was not used to the particular phrasing, plenty of people have described their experience as spectators in this saga as scary. I don't remember being scared at any point.

I remember feeling like I had been kicked in the chest by a horse and not wanting to admit it, either to myself or anyone else, that I thought I was having a heart attack. Sounds like an average man's response. It was closer to the contact high that comes with being a bad car crash and walking away with a few cuts and bruises. Getting shot at where you can hear the bullets pass, but you don't get hit or you can feel the heat from the explosion,

but you walk away without any scars. Hey! I'm reasonably convinced that if I are going to dive a heart attack or anything else unexpected, I'd be dead before I hit the floor. After your tummy ache, which is how I describe it, Leah describes it slightly differently. Whatever. She's making a big deal out of it.

How was Leah's headspace? You're up and flying. You haven't mentioned any plans to be preserved in bubble wrap or kept safe. How did she get past the fear you might die randomly? Thanks for all you've done with the podcast. It's made more of a difference for us for more of us than you will ever know. That's a good question. I actually haven't asked Leah if she had any residual thoughts about that particular incident.

She was the last person I saw. I gave her a kiss. I told her I loved her. They wheeled me into the operating room, put me under. I had signed a bunch of waivers because they didn't know what kind of surgery they were doing. I know that she spent most of that time talking to her family on the phone, which I don't blame her. I probably would have done the same thing just to keep busy, is not stare at the clock and worry and wonder about what was happening. But I will say this.

My wife is very familiar with who I am and what I like to do. She knew about my military background. She knew about my skydiving and base jumping background. She has never asked me more or, expressed, I should say, more than a general concern about rotary wing aviation. She has asked about my experience. She has asked about the safety. She's asked about the flight training.

And she'll ask about, you know, like, well, if this happens, what are you able to do? If that happens, what are you able to do? So general curiosity, but it doesn't seem like she feels there's a looming guillotine over my head. It's a good thing that your wife was scared. And what I would do, here's my advice. Pretty simple. Don't avoid the topic. Have the conversation.

Ask her. Hey, how are you feeling? And I'm going to give you a gem that I found far too late in my life when it comes to women. Here's something that could help you, a tool. Write this down. Put it in your pocket. If you're wondering how she's feeling whether or not she's worried or what she's worried about, you can ask her. She's like, hey, sweetheart, how do you feel about this?

Do you have any concerns, comments, fear? and then when she answers, you listen to her. Yeah, that's a good one. That should come in an instruction book for all men. If you have a question or curiosity, ask it, and then pay attention to the answer. It's amazing how many times they'll tell you exactly how they feel. So she might be able to answer this question for you better than myself. Maybe she was reminded, actually this is a conversation that Lee and I had after the surgery.

Is everything set up in case something were to happen to either of us? Now, we live in Montana, and by law, things are going to pass to her regardless. But we're talking about a living will. Do you have a DNR? Do you want to have a DNR? What do you want to have happen with you if you die? Do you want to have an open casket funeral? Do you want to have a closed casket funeral?

For me, personally, I want to be cremated. I had the most fucked up will when I was in the military. I had the most ridiculous requests in there. Like, if I am killed in combat, I want to be cremated. I want six of my friends to hike to the top of Mount Everest, and they're not. allowed to wear oxygen to spread my ashes on the fourth Thursday of, you know, whatever, it was ridiculous because of the time. Well, I was about to say because of the time I was an idiot and perhaps an asshole, but I'm not so sure that has changed. Yeah, it was a little bit

ridiculous with the request. But every time we would update our power of attorney, we would update our will, we would make sure that things were in order. So people don't have to make decisions about that stuff in times where they're already emotionally compromised. And having seen both, loss of life where everything is kind of laid out from what the person would want and loss of life where absolutely nothing was discussed, let me just tell you. The former is so superior to the latter. Nobody wants to make decisions when you're dealing with the loss of somebody that you cared about more than your own life. When things are laid out and it's really kind of just easy to follow the template, it takes the burden off. Doesn't make it any easier.

It takes the burden off. So that is one thing that Lee and I did talk about after my surgery. And I think it helps. It can just put you at ease a little bit. It's not something that you want to ruminate over as a person. Like, oh, my God, I'm going to lose my spouse one day because you're going to, right? I just don't advocate ruminating on that forever. Think about it.

Put a plan in place and then, you know, put it in the safe next to your firearms so they don't get stolen and put on the iron road heading south down to Mexico to fuel the cartel problem. God damn it. have those conversations. But just ask your wife, how is she feeling? She might also be concerned, you know, you're under 300 pounds now because of the hospital food. Dude, if you're not careful and you have a shitty diet, which again is a complete assumption on my part. But I don't understand how you could be that active and that heavy. 6-4 is tall, but you're, you know, might be a little tall and wide.

Dudley's 6-4. He does not weigh 320. He weighs under 200 pounds, which, I mean, there's another conversation there as well. but possible for sure. And don't tell me you have big bones because that's bullshit. So I'd be concerned if I was your spouse too. If I saw you get that big, you ended up going to the hospital for a heart attack,

you get out of there. If you haven't changed behavior, if you're not doing everything you possibly can to get that number on the scale as low as possible, don't sit here and tell me you care about your wife or your life or the kids that you may have. Because what you say is one thing and what you're actively doing is fucking nothing.

You're not doing any of the thing. those things that's going to extend your life. And that's why I generally care more about people do, not necessarily what they say. You know, oh, I'm all about health is there stuff and Twinkies down their face. I'm like, you know, that doesn't really work for me. If I was your spouse and you had to go to the hospital for a health-related issue that could probably be directly tied to your weight and you didn't do anything about it, I'd be wondering if you're suicidal. And that's not a fun place to be. So I would go take a real hard look in the mirror and ask yourself, am I really doing everything that I can to make sure that my wife has nothing to worry

about or at least controlling the variables that she might be worried about? And if you're not, there's your starting point right there. The second point is go have a conversation with your wife. Listen to what she says. Take you for action. Be shocked how far down the road to get you. See you next time.