Cleared Hot - Powered By BRCC - Full Auto Friday - Round 106

Episode Date: May 20, 2022

Rapid Fire Q and A to finish off the week: 1. Quitting, and performance-enhancing drugs at BUD/s 2. What have I learned in answering questions for 2 years on Full Auto Friday 3. A wild walk in the park with my girlfriend and cousin Enjoy

Well, hello, everybody. Friday again, time for some Q&A. It's been like a week and a half since I've done one of these. Obviously, last Friday the episode was up, but I had recorded it on a Monday, was on the road for almost a week. We're back on the saddle. I think this is number 105. So let's just get into it. Fall out of Friday, number 105. Here we go. I'm looking at danger close now. All right, we're back. I think I have three questions. today. The third one is relatively long, and I, let me check here real fast. Yeah, it has four questions at the bottom with multiple paragraphs leading into it. So I think what I'm going to do is just hit the first three. If I have time, actually, I have all the time that I want. If I feel like it, I'll do the fourth one. But I think it's just going to be three because I want to get out and enjoy my weekend, just like I'm sure everybody else does. So let us begin. Email number one. Hey, Andy, a little bit of a two-part question here. One, I am a recent Buds Dudd, class 354.

Buds is basic underwater demolition slash seal training. It is the initial huge end of the funnel that, of course, works its way down to the very small end and only a few people make it through, but it is the beginning of the pipeline to become a seal. So I'm a recent Bud's Dudd, class 354, and I'm really struggling to swallow the pill that I gave up on myself and my dream in a moment of weakness. I feel like less of a man because of it, and it is starting to affect important relationships and other aspects of my life. Any advice on how to deal with that would be greatly appreciated. Secondly, I would like to hear your thoughts on the use of PEDs in the pipeline such as HGH, human growth hormone. And this one I had to look up and I still don't know how to say it correctly. P-S-A-R-M-S. I think it's SARMs, P-S-R-R-M-S.

I don't know. I'm not an English major. And I still, even after looking it up, I'm not 100% sure what it is. It seems to be an anabolic substance that treats or gets the results, not the results, but it gets the reaction from your body as if it is exogenous testosterone. Essentially, what I think it is is over-the-counter version of steroids. I digress. I know a lot of guys have been using them in recent classes, in parentheses, officers and fleet

returnees. And I'm wondering if it was such a big issue when you went through. If this doesn't make it into a fall out of Friday, no big deal. But if you could respond to this email, that would be wonderful. Thank you for your time. Let's go backwards. Let's start by talking about PEDs, performance enhancing. drugs. I have an incredibly limited exposure to this personally, and it was much later on in

my career. And Matthew Cole, the author of Code Over Country, the book sitting on the table still, asked me about this. And he asked me specifically, how many people do you think in your class were taking or were on steroids? And I had to sit back and really think about it because what I know for a fact is that while I was in training, and again, this is in 97. And maybe things have changed a lot between now and them. Or maybe people have more access to the information about this. I'm not sure. But in 97, the one thing I'm absolutely positive of is that I never thought about it one time.

Not only for use myself or that even that anybody in my class would have been doing so. That's not to say that they weren't, but to me, maybe I was very naive at where I was in my life, but I really didn't know that much about it and gave it zero thoughts. Is it possible that somebody in my class or other people or multiple people were using? Of course. And I don't know. But what I can tell you is to answer this question, HGH and SARMs, PISARMS, whatever it may be, if you think that something that you inject yourself with or take out of a bottle, which I believe the SARMs is pill form, if you think that the solution to, graduating from buds comes from a bottle or a needle. Your headspace is very misplaced. Can it help with

recovery? Yes, it absolutely could. Could it help with conditioning to a degree, maybe leading up to that? Yes, it absolutely could. But as a student and then as an instructor, I watched hundreds of times as the most highly level, the highest level of conditioning in students through the talon. Great cardio, great stamina, great strength, great recovery. And I tell people this all the time when I talk about Bud's training and why people quit. Or it's not even necessarily why people quit. It is in my opinion, and this is all that it accounts for, the most important muscle in your body when it comes to passing or failing is not from the neck down. It's from the neck up. It's your

brain. It's how you talk to yourself. It's how you set your goals. It is how you prepare yourself mentally and emotionally. So you can have all of these tools and all these exogenous supplements that could go with that, which the jury is completely out and the verdict is in on as to whether or not steroids and HGH works. Yes, they absolutely do. Are they magic? No, they're absolutely not. Take all of them if you want to. Juice yourself up to the gills. If you think that means that you are going to graduate buds or it's going to increase your odds, the only way I think it may increase your odds is that you might be slightly more recovered, so therefore slightly less prone to be injured. But other than that, I don't see it as a net positive. I actually think if

you are emotionally and physically relying on these things that are exogenous, you're setting yourself up for failure. Because guess what? In the moments that you need it, that bottle and needle, they're not going to be there. What is going to be there is the way that you talk to yourself, the way that you have prepared yourself, the way that you set your goals. Those things are what's actually going to matter. Officers and fleet returnees. I wonder why, I'm curious as to why you specifically called out the officer community. And I'm curious as to why the officer community would be more prone to doing that. And I just truly don't have an answer for it. But my answer, like I said, is that it doesn't, what comes out of a bottle or what comes out of a needle,

it may help in some obscure ways. But as far as the end result, it's going to be the neck up, not the neck down. And in my experience, again, from my limited knowledge and understanding, the stuff that you listed, that's neck down. people would be much better off investing that time, money, energy, and effort into things that can change the impact about what's going on in between your ears. Now, being a buds done, which I'm going to assume means that you dropped on request or DOLR. Another way to say that is that you quit. And that puts you into a category of people.

When you look at seal training, you are in the vast majority. The choice that you made is the choice that the vast majority of people make. I'd say 75% attrition in the summer months and up to the 90th percentile, if not into the mid-90s when it comes into the winter months because of the environmental. The water's colder. The instructors can keep you in the water. For longer, it is a different experience. There is not one that is better or, you know, I guess harder is, that's a very subjective term. There is a difference during the two largely seasons in San Diego of winter and everything other than winter.

I had a winter class when I went through. In summer classes, they will generally have more people that graduate. Those people are still amazing and fantastic. And I would caution people against really trying to say one that is necessarily more difficult than the other. I'd say they're different, but the curriculum does its job. Totally going down a rabbit hole here that doesn't answer your question. at all. But you made a choice that a lot of people make. And I've said this many times on the podcast. When I went back as an instructor and actually got to spend time with the students, they expressed to

me almost exactly what you wrote down. I gave up on myself and my dream in a moment of weakness. For clarity, again, in my opinion, in my opinion only, that's actually what the Bud's curriculum is designed to do, in part, is to find what it is that challenges you. If you're a world-class swimmer, guess what? The obstacle course is probably going to kick your ass. If you're a world-class runner, well, getting into the ocean and doing a two-mile ocean swim when you're relying upon your swim buddy to not only swim, but guide or navigate for you efficiently so you're not looking like an S-turn going inefficiently through the water, that's going to crush you. And if you're great at both of those things, Hellweek might just kick you right in the dick because you're exhausted

and you've never been that tired or hungry or cold or the combination of all of those things. The curriculum is designed to suppress a human being to their lowest point. And by that I mean a point that is much lower than they probably thought was humanly possible and then give them the choice. Do you want to continue? or would you like to ring this bell that of course is conveniently brought with you during Hell Week? Now most of the time the bell is sitting in the first phase grinder. In Hell Week, you know, why would we need you to go that far? Let's just attach it to a truck. So it's right

there. And then of course, right after you ring the bell, hot chocolate, blanket, fill in the blank, whatever might be the most enticing thing to get a student to not want to lay in the ocean anymore and drink a hot cocoa. The way that you describe this and the emotion that I'm going to assume and guess is what you are living with right now is one of regret. And that is the emotion that almost every student who made the decision that you did has expressed to me as an instructor when I was there. And I've run into a few since then. And a lot of them are still dealing with that feeling of regret or an opportunity, they would give anything for the opportunity to make a different decision. And maybe that's where I'll start my answer. Because that opportunity doesn't

exist. My best advice for you, and I don't know what class they're on right now. I feel like 354 might be a relatively recent one, though. My best advice to you is this, give it some time. And I know I say that on a lot of answers when people write in, whether it's a relationship issue or something catastrophic that has happened in your life. But it's, it's the best advice that I can give is maybe take a little bit of pressure off of yourself and allow yourself to work through whatever it is that just happened. Yes, if this was your dream and you just gave up on it, it's going to be rough and it is going to impact important relationships and other aspects of your life. So give yourself a little bit of time. By that, I don't mean two years of a pity

party. I mean, give yourself a couple of weeks. And what I would recommend for you, somebody from the Buds pipeline who gave up is you need to determine whether or not you want to go back and give it a second chance, which for those of you who don't know, if you quit in Buds, you can absolutely go back and attempt it a second time. There is a medal of honor, or there was at least when I was there on the SEAL Team 3 quarter deck from Mike Mansour, a young man who jumped on a grenade on a rooftop in Iraq to save the lives of those around him. He made it through Buds on the second try. So there is no judgment or shame in an individual that goes back and tries buds for a second time and makes it through. I can't think of a single time in 17 years in the SEAL community where I actually even asked somebody how many times it took them to make it through buds.

They show up, they have their tried and it's like sweet man, let's go get the job done. So determine whether or not you want to go back. If you do want to go back, well, then guess what? That needs to be the singular focus of your life. and you need to identify exactly what happened and why you gave up and make sure that you build up your mental armor and deficiencies. Fix the deficiencies that you can identify. And you need to be very, very clear and vicious with yourself in the feedback determining what exactly happened. Because if you're not, it's going to repeat itself again. So you need to kind

strip yourself bare a little bit and then rebuild yourself back up. physically and mentally train yourself to go back and then, you know, advice that I've given on the podcast many times. Keep your world small, focus on only one day at a time, maybe even one evolution at a time. Don't think about how far you are from, you know, graduation or even the end of the day. Just do whatever you need to do to get through that day and then you can reevaluate later. If you don't want to go back, the best advice I can give you is put the rock down and stop caring about what anybody else may think because guess what? Fuck them. They've never tried it.

They have no understanding of the pipeline that you have attempted. And don't bother explaining it to them. Don't let that failure in a moment of weakness. Actually, no, it's not even, I'm not going to even use the term weakness because it's not, it's not weakness. It's what the curriculum is designed to do. Don't let a decision that you made that you now realize is a decision that you wish that you hadn't made in a moment where you were in one of the lowest, probably places that you've been as a person to find you for the rest of your life. It doesn't need to be on your business card. It doesn't need to be something that you tell people about. What it could do is provide for you a springboard going forward. Maybe it's a, you know, in the critical feedback, that time that you take to realize

what happened and why, maybe it's a springboard for you to look elsewhere. Because maybe you will realize that that community perhaps wasn't for you. And now you can put that down. and you can move on and you can move forward. It's the only thing that I can really advise for you. Getting a second chance back at Buds is not guaranteed. So it's easy to say, hey, I'll just go back and try it again. You may not be able to. So you may be forced to at some point put that rock down and move forward.

The people that I see struggle with the most are the ones who are unable to do so, and you're going to have to find a way. You're going to have to find a way. don't define yourself and who you are by the job title that you hold or the job title that you want to hold because at the end of the day being a seal is exactly that it's a job it can never be and should never be who you are it can be what you did but at some point in time you're going to be handing that uniform back i mean you do get to keep it but i hope i think you understand what i'm saying you'll have to take it off maybe that'll be a better example put it in the closet and put something else back on those that struggle the most in the post military career same thing are the ones that they can't let go of that they want to be defined by something that they did a job that they held and i feel like it just it robs them of everything in front of them because they're spending their life looking in the rear view mirror so decide what you want to do and then from there take action accordingly question two you've been doing full out of friday now for two years what have you learned

while thinking about and giving your answer to other people's problems and i'm going to add to that questions, even though in my thought about this, I realized very often people are emailing me with their problems in the form of a question, which is why I added. And this question, this question really got me thinking, what have I learned in the last two years? Well, the first thing is this. I'm shocked. This is not something that I've learned that I've been shocked about this from the beginning. I'm shocked at how many people actually will write in and ask for my opinion about things because the number one thing that I have learned in the past two years or that has been consistently reinforced is the number of mistakes that I have made as a human being.

A lot of the questions that people will write in about, whether it's about loss from a personal perspective or failure at work or failure in a relationship or failure in a business venture. The number of times that they're not exactly situations that I have been directly involved with, but that they're really close and I can have a good connection. Like, oh, you know, that hasn't exactly happened to me, but I sure remember when I failed doing this or I sure remember when I failed doing that, it's been shocked. to me to sit back and think at 44 years old how many mistakes I have made in my life. I have made terrible business decisions and I've made them emotionally.

And I've also made shitty business decisions when I thought I was being objective. I just wasn't looking at all the data. And I've lost money. And I entered into partnerships that didn't necessarily work out in the best for either of us. but it was all predicated on us probably not being clear up front. And professionally, oh my God. You know, I don't know if people believe me or not, but I got into a good amount of trouble when I was in the military.

And I got into trouble at almost every single rank because for me, the biggest enemy to me and my success has always been me. I struggle, I struggle at times with not being a smart ass. I'm sure that probably comes through on the podcast from time to time, but fuck, that's gotten me in trouble over my career. And I look back at who I was in my 20s and then in my 30s and even in my 40s, the things that I have said that I wish that I could take back. And the reasons that I said them and, you know, treating people in a way that they didn't deserve to be treated because. I was being a fucking asshole. And just looking back at the volume of times that I have fallen short of the person that I wanted to be from a professional setting, let alone, you know, early in my mid-20s, you know, thinking that I knew so much.

And now looking back and realizing that I knew so little. And then in my 30s, I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm in my 30s. Now, I definitely got it figured out. No. Complete and other moron in a lot of respects in my life. And now in my 40s, I try to remember when things like that come up, the mistakes that I made in my 30s and 20s and even in my teens. And I have found that it helps me round the edges because I can empathize where somebody is coming from. And I can understand what maybe would cause that emotional outburst.

And I wish I could just reach out and be like, hey, let me explain to you the 10 times that I was in your situation and took the actions that you're getting ready to take and the negative consequences. came from that. And then, you know, relationship-wise, I was asked recently on a written article that's going to be coming out in the Black Rifle Coffee, Coffee or Die magazine, the person interviewing me said, what's the most difficult thing you've ever done in your life? And I suspect a lot of people would think coming from a military background, they're like, oh, you know, seal training was the hardest thing that I've ever done. No, I look back on my life now, seal training was a fucking joke.

in the totality of things that I have experienced. It was extremely difficult, and I'm very fortunate that I escaped injury and was able to make it through without being rolled back, either for a performance issue or a medical issue. But in the totality of life since then, it's a fucking joke. You know, the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, the hardest thing I've ever done in my life was go through a divorce that lasted almost two years and the decision to leave that marriage. I was the one who made that decision. The decision to leave that in the worry and stress and fear that it was going to have negative impact on my kids or whether or not I was going to be able to survive that as a person and the negative self-talk, the doubts, it was by far the hardest thing that I've ever done.

And that ties back into thinking about and giving answers to other people's questions. Like, I'm not a relationship expert by any stretch of the imagination. but I can empathize to at least a degree the things that people are going through because of the things that I have gone through. And again, almost everything that I have gone through in my life that has been negative has been my fault. Completely. You know, Jocko does a great job of talking about extreme ownership. And I could not agree with that more. Of course, sometimes there are external circumstances that you can't control.

You can control yourself, obviously, but I'm talking about the times where I was an ass clown and got myself well out in front of my ski tips and then augured in. 99.9% of the time. That's been the case. So the biggest thing is that I have learned about myself is that I didn't realize how, actually, I take that back. I've never thought that I've been a perfect person because I don't think perfection is possible. I guess it's a consistent realization of how imperfect I have been. And that's a tough one

to come to. You know, like, wow, I actually really suck at times. And I really fall short of who I want to be and who I know I can be at times. Now, there's two ways that you can take that, right? The way that I choose to take it is motivation. I do try to learn from my mistakes. And I think that's what I enjoy about doing these Friday episodes is that hopefully in me talking about the mistakes that I have made in my personal life and professional life that people could hopefully skip over some of them and not go through some of the pain and suffering that I have brought upon myself. So that's the biggest thing. And I enjoy it. And again, I'm still shocked that people reach out to me and want to know what I think. Question three, this is going to be the last one because I'm getting ready to

court a podcast after this that will come out on Monday. This is a long one. Here we go. I'm 32 years old and I would like to think of myself as a pretty open-minded accepting and inclusive guy. I don't care about skin color, gender orientation, etc. All I care about is an individual's content of their character. The group identity and political division crap never pulled me in either direction because frankly, I'm disgusted at both major political parties in America right now. Fuck, I couldn't agree with you more. Earlier today, I was at a local park here where I live, and I was walking around with my girlfriend and my little cousin, who I invited to hang out and go shooting me with me this weekend.

He's 11 years old and has a good head on his shoulders, and my girlfriend is very similarly minded to me. She treats everyone as an individual and would never persecute others. When we got to the park, there were tons of couples, kids, sports teams, etc. playing and having a nice time. We walked down to a pavilion to relax and watch the lake and the ducks when we were about 100 yards out from the pavilion. There was a guy there yelling and screaming. I immediately told my girlfriend and cousin to stop. And after the first few bouts of obscenities, we listened in and heard the guy repeatedly yelling, racists eat a dick, to which I was

shocked, but also internally laughing because of how absurd of a statement that was. Agree, that's a little awkward for sure for somebody to be yelling. However, yeah, I think racists should eat a dick. So I agree with the statement. It's also just awkward to be screaming. There was clearly something wrong with a guy, but we decided to not go forward with our original plan and discuss what else we could do in a different area of the park. In the 20 or so seconds that we were discussing the plan, the guy zeroes in on me and starts saying, yeah, I'll say that shit right in front of you, your girl and kid. Fuck you.

I was the only guy around, so he was clearly looking at and saying that to me. I said nothing back and didn't want to escalate the situation because I have a lot to lose financially if I caused a fight or scene. Immediately after his statement, he said, yeah, I got a fucking gun and I'll shoot you back too. Or I'll shoot back to which I immediately told my girlfriend to take my cousin to my truck while I get in between them and the guy to buy them time and space so we could all get out. I dialed down one and called the local police to report the situation and immediately started moving back to my truck while facing the guy. while he got on his bike and started coming towards me, to which I knew I needed to get to my truck where my concealed carry pistol was. While he was coming at me, he was waving something that he took out of his backpack and also was yelling, call your people, I'll blast them too.

To which I was even more confused because I literally said nothing to this man, but I was not interested in staying there to find out if he was bluffing about having a gun or not. At this point, my girlfriend and cousin are 20 to 30 yards ahead of me, running and I make my break for my truck to get out of there. We start up my truck and take off. And the entire situation ends as this man is in my rear rear mirror waving something at me in his right hand. I literally said nothing out loud, wasn't doing anything weird, wasn't drawing attention to myself, and wasn't combative. But this guy honed in on me, and in parentheses possibly either because of my look, I suppose he noticed me because I still have my military haircut,

which some people might confuse for LEO, I don't know. After we left, I told my girlfriend and cousin that they did a great job in not asking questions and moving quickly. And then I took them out to get ice cream and to go to a nicer park and a quieter side of town. But damn, what a day. We talked about it. We talked more about it once our emotions slowed down and we all had a chance to relax. My girlfriend now is even more on board with getting her concealed carry permit. And my cousin was blown away that someone could be an anti-racist but simultaneously a homophove,

in parentheses, which also surprised the fuck out of me too. sometime in the next few years i'd like to settle down and bring children into this world and i want to make sure my mind is thinking clear on how to handle and also talk about these high stress events with my loved ones my questions are as follows one what should i have said to my girlfriend and little cousin afterwards two what did you tell your wife and kids after your infamous flip-flop fight three should i have done anything different gotten out of their sooner or faster stayed and fought the guy went a different way while my girlfriend and cousin were ahead of us four what did I do or what should I do to change my look or appearance to maybe be more of a gray man and dodge people like that your outside of the box unconventional thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated so damn huge email interesting situation great talking points though and great questions um I'm going to open with

this before we go any farther if you have a concealed carry permit and you leave your gun in your truck. And you are not in your truck. You're fucked, right? It is better to have and not need than need it and not have it. And I'm not recommending that you make a moonroof in this guy's face. But what I'm saying is, let's say he had pulled a gun out of his backpack while he was on his bike, which is the literal definition of a fuck show. Because he is obviously he was having some sort a mental health crisis or a mental break, possibly paired with substances, all right? What would you have been able to do about that? Nothing.

So for people who choose to leave, their concealed carry weapon in their vehicle, when they are not in their vehicle, just understand the limitation that you are putting yourself in. Like I said, better to have it and not need it on you, then need it on you and not have it. but I'm not going to spend any more time on that. I think that one's pretty clear. So what should I have said to my girlfriend and little cousin afterwards? Actually, first and foremost, before I get into that, I think you handled this situation well. When it comes to this and I read this and you are talking about how this person was behaving and what they were saying, it is very clear that this person is not living their best life, right? So probably a mental health crisis, maybe a little bit crazy, pair that with substances of some kind.

So these people exist in the real world. And I hope the people listening and watching, they don't actually have to go out and encounter them. But it can get a little wild when you do. I don't think there's a template that you have to follow every time. But what I'll say is this. I think you did a very good job. There was no violence. You made a decision.

You recognized what was going on early. You audibled on your original plan. You created space and distance. for your girlfriend and your cousin. You maintain your situational awareness on the threat. You called to a higher level of care. You got out of there. You easily could have escalated this into a confrontation.

And I don't know if that's a right or a wrong answer. Let's just say that's a branch of the tree that you could have taken. And then you guys got out of there. You wouldn't continue your day. It didn't ruin anything. And you actually have a really amazing talking point with your cousin. and your girlfriend. Sounds like your girlfriend has already used this as a learning point

and realized that, hey, having tools available, being trained and competent and current on those tools could actually make a huge difference in a situation like this. So that's a benefit right there. You can talk with your cousin about decision-making and explain all of the things that were going through your brain.

I think you'd handle this really well. Because at the end of the day, something that could have turned into something terrible, kind of turned into nothing. And it's very easy to second guess yourself. But let me just tell you,

had you had your concealed weapon on you and the individual had continued to close distance and you actually might have drawn that thing and shot him, you would have been

second guessing yourself then as well. So I think, in my personal opinion, you did a great job because at the end of the day, hopefully the cop showed up and dealt with that guy

and you didn't got ice cream. I mean, that's a win-win. Okay. So what should I have said to my girlfriend and little cousin afterwards. I don't think you have to say anything necessarily. I would give it a little bit of time post ice cream and maybe just talk about why you made the

decisions that you did. Why did you say before you got there, you know what? We're going to change our plan and we're going to audible and we're going to go somewhere else. Explain that to your cousin. I think your girlfriend probably understands. Explain to them or explain to your cousin why you wanted them to head back to the car and why you chose to stay where you were and engage the way that you. you did. And basically, by that, I mean creating that buffer so they had the ability to move.

And I would just kind of break it down and explain to your cousin more than anybody. And I say that because I feel like your girlfriend intuitively probably understands, but you can explain that even in an emotional situation like this, which these can be very emotional, that you can objectively and logically think through it, which is exactly what you did. What did I tell my wife and kids after your infamous flip-flop fight, which people can go back on previous podcast and listen to me talking about that. And the reality is, I didn't say much of anything other than the reason I chose to get involved that night is that I have always told my children that they need to stand up for what they believe in. And who the fuck would I be?

If I watched what happened that night going down and I actually didn't get my ass out of the seat, put myself in jeopardy a little bit and assist. What I would have been is a liar because I would have been asking my kids and telling my kids to do something and I would have created a shit example myself. So they really, the only thing that I said to my kids when I sat back down is I made sure that they were doing okay. My daughter was a little bit distraught. And I just said to them, you know, sometimes in life you are put into a position where you have to make a decision or you are presented with the ability to make a decision to do the right thing. And it's not always the easiest thing to do, but that's what you need to do. I want to raise my two sons and my daughter to be amazing human

beings. And when presented with that opportunity, they step into the breach as opposed to avoiding it. So I just reinforced that that's why I did what I did. And then we ate her dinner and had dessert and moved on. Should you have done anything different? Maybe. And that's the best answer that I can give you. Any difference in your behavior could have netted this being a different outcome. Could you have out of there sooner or faster, maybe you could have. And I guess as far as a, I'm not going to give you a critique, but the farther away, distance matters, distance matters. It gives you so much more time to make a decision.

I would say that the instant you recognize this is an area that you don't want to be in, so maybe even from a farther distance away, change your mind and get out of there. So you probably could have left a little bit earlier and perhaps that would have given this individual an opportunity to focus their attention elsewhere. But who really knows? It sounds like this person was actually looking for a confrontation, and you happen to be the most readily available target. And if you had made that decision farther away, maybe that distance would have bought

you some more time. Who really knows, though? Could you just stayed and fought the guy? You could have. You know, what I'm about to say is not a recommendation that I necessarily have. advocate for most people. Sometimes when people are like this and they are trying to play the antagonist, they are playing on the fact that very often people won't push back. I have a few times in my life let other individuals know that I am ready, willing, able, and prepared

to take violence to a level far beyond what they are going to be comfortable with and far beyond what they want to be involved with, and they shut the fuck down. So there is a chance that if you would have gone back at this guy hard, he would have shut the fuck up and selected an easier victim, for lack of a better term. Or it could have escalated, which is exactly why I say you need to be very careful with that tact. Some people are just looking for people to victimize. And when they get pushed back, they go somewhere else, but it also could escalate it to the next level.

So keep that in mind. Could you have fought him? Sure. would that have immediately, you know, escalated this to a very different level, not only legally, but with the police, all that stuff? Yes, it would. So keep that in mind. Bottom line, I think you did a really good job other than having your concealed carry pistol in your goddamn truck. And finally, what did I do or what should I do to change my look or appearance to maybe be more of a gray man and dodge people like that? I don't think he can. The issue here is that person and not how you look. You know, a haircut from a distance is pretty hard to tell, especially. if you have like a baseball hat on it's like you know it's this situation i think is far less about you and far more about the other person um in general though like if you want to be more of a gray man just avoid anything that looks tactical right don't have like t-shirts like mull and lobby with the fucking punish your skull underneath it and like you know don't tread on me and again i'm not

i'm not judging anybody who wears those things but just for somebody who wants to blend in a little bit more, you know, avoid the cargo pants and shorts that have 17 different pockets and, you know, things that appear to be LEO or military specific. Wear whatever you want to wear. And if you like wearing those things by all means do, but just realize it might actually illuminate you a little bit more on other people's radar. I don't think that's the case here. I think this person was just out of this fucking mind and looking for anybody to antagonize

and you happen to drop in to a second or for a second in his world. So good job. Take from it what you can. maybe clean up a little bit where you keep your pistol and then move on from there and also take your cousin out shooting introduce him to firearms like you said you're already going to and you can explain and you know it's again it's another teaching point talk about how tools can actually really level the playing field and that's it that's all i have for this friday see you all on monday