Cleared Hot - Powered By BRCC - Full Auto Friday - Round 117

Episode Date: August 5, 2022

Rapid Fire Q and A to finish off the week: 1. How can I show my friend who claims he is a "game time player" that he has no idea how to fight 2. I think that my dad is a pedophile 3. How to not get political in a politically charged environment 4. Nerves and fear before combat operations Enjoy

What's up, everybody, on this lovely Friday? That's actually a big assumption on my part. Maybe you're going to listen to this on Monday or Saturday. I don't know. It's really up to you. But I'm glad you found it here. It's Friday. It's time for Q&A.

Let's get into it, shall we? Full Auto Friday, 117. Here we go. I'm looking at danger close now. All right, everybody. We're back. Friday. I think I have looking at four or five questions.

Let's see how far I'm. how far I get in the time that I personally have allotted for this. Before I start, I cannot count the number of people who have sent me the video of the man who saves his own life with a very small orange reserve parachute about a second before he impacts the ground. Everybody wants to get my feedback on it. And I think to people who aren't from the jumping world, like a canopy just looks like a canopy. And that video, which I've seen on like bar stool sports, I think Mike posted it on field craft survival. It is not of a skydiver. It is of a paraglider. And I know almost nothing about that particular activity. I do understand that it's a wing that is overhead. You're

suspended by lines. And obviously they have a reserve parachute for exactly like the situation that that gentleman found himself in. And from what I understand in watching the videos, or video and other videos about paragliding, there are, depending how deep you get into this sport, hobby, activity, whatever you want to call it. There's some pretty crazy acrobatic maneuvers that you're able to do. And again, I am not a paraglider at all. But what I think this person was trying to do was induce a trick where you're essentially cartwheeling over the top of your canopy. So he was trying to dive it and basically huck himself over the top. And it kind of stalled out as he was over the top.

And so he fell into the canopy, became engulfed in the canopy, and eventually deployed his reserve, which I think was a belly mount, or it might even be on their back. I'm not sure. I just saw his hand come down and throw the reserve out. And it didn't actually inflate. He had to pull it out of the bag. It probably was a free bag of some kind to actually get it out. And he did so about a second before impact.

So I don't know anything about paragliding, but what I can tell you that I do understand and what I really appreciated about that particular video, and this has application well outside of the paragliding world or even skydiving world, it's just in life in general, is that that individual was in an incredibly dynamic, emotional, and consequence-filled environment, but he did not freak out. He maintained a cool, calm, and collected demeanor and thought his way through the problems that he was facing. Now, obviously, I haven't had the chance to talk to this, person and maybe it was a little bit more of an emotional roller coaster than it would appear on video. But what I loved is that he continued to work the problem. And I suspect he would have

continued to work the problem all the way into the ground if he had to. But he didn't have to because instead of becoming emotionally involved, in an emotional incident, he logically worked his way through the options that he had available and continued to fight. And that's why it's universally applicable. It doesn't matter what's going on in the world around you. You can only really control yourself. He couldn't control, well, I guess if he was trying to do that trick, which we'll just call the fucknuckle rotation, technical terms, not a big deal. I'm not sure if that's actually it. That's what I think it should be called. I guess if he was intentionally trying to do that and he did kind of stall out above and gift wrapped himself, yeah, you're in

control of that, but everything beyond that, whether or not he was going to get out of it, how badly entangled he was, whether or not lines were going to wrap around his body. He was not in control of those things, but he was in control of himself the entire time. Does that mean that you're always going to get out of a situation like that? No, absolutely not. I would say if you put 100 people into that situation, I bet you over 90 would die, which is rough to say, but I think that's probably the reality of the situation that he was in and the emotional reaction that most people would have. Again, it didn't necessarily save his life, but it certainly helped when it came to that. And that type of emotional control and objective thinking will help you regardless of what you're doing.

Emotionally in a business negotiation or contentious discussion in a relationship as a parent, fill in the blank. You can find yourself in emotionally contentious and, what shall we say, rapidly escalating environments. That doesn't mean you have to become emotionally contentious or escalate as well. So that had nothing to do with Fallout Friday or the questions that were written in. But since I got, I would say, hundreds of people sending me that video, that's my take on it. I wish I knew more about paragliding.

And after watching that video, I'll never fucking try it. So, moving on. Question one. I'm writing to you because I fear that my friend is going to get himself killed if I don't intervene. My buddy is one of those tough guy, game time player types. He thinks he could take on pretty much anyone in a fight. He believes this because he's a big guy. And in his own words, he can get angrier than anyone he takes.

on. Besides a few shoving matches in a bar and the odd wrestling session with his brothers, he's never actually been in a real fight, ever. Within our friend group, he is the only one who does not train in BJJ slash MMA, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu slash Mix Martial Arts. In his mind, he doesn't need or see the benefit of training. About a month ago, my friend was out at a bar by himself and got into a verbal altercation with two males. It escalated into a fight in the parking lot where my friend got his ass so badly beaten by the two males that he spent the next four days in the hospital. Honestly, he is lucky to be alive. Since the assault, my friend has been in a constant state of alpha male toughness, literally trying to pick a fight with anyone that looks at him

the wrong way. It's taken our friends to intervene to stop these situations from escalating. I can only imagine these episodes are occurring due to his damaged ego and him now trying to prove himself. I'm worried that if he doesn't knock this off, he's going to get badly injured again, or because we are in a concealed carry state, he might straight up get himself killed. I'm going to be seeing my buddy at the end of this month, and hopefully I'm going to have a hard conversation about his direction in life. Perhaps I might try talking him into doing some BJJ training, but at this point, it may not even be a good idea, considering where his head is at. If this conversation doesn't go well. I might have to distance myself from this person for good. Any thoughts on what I can

do or say would be greatly appreciated. You know, I think this situation is probably more common than most would tend to believe. It's easy for guys to think that because of their size, that they will be able to flip a switch and be a game time player. And the idea that you can get angrier than anybody else out there, that's a little ridiculous. But okay, it speaks to how this guy thinks of himself and what he thinks of his capabilities. though. I think you're completely correct in his behavior now. I think to use your words that these episodes are occurring due to his damaged ego and now him trying to prove himself. What he probably got in that parking lot, which first off, going to a bar by yourself, so obviously there was alcohol

involved in this unless he went there for a Diet Coke, which there's plenty of other places to get a Diet Coke. So you're at a bar, you're by yourself, and you pick a numerically superior group of people that you want to shit talk and then you go out into the parking lot and you get your ass kicked. There really shouldn't be any surprises in that. Two is greater than one. It's hard enough to fight one person, let alone try to fight two. And then if there's more than that or if there's other friends there that just happen to be watching their two friends dealing with you, you're in the hurt locker for sure. So the whole situation obviously is avoidable.

And my theory on violence is that you should never be violent until you absolutely. need to be and then you need to be so incredibly violent that it ends the situation and then you can move on with your life. But it should be avoided at all cost. And one of the best ways to do that is not to go to a bar by yourself and shit talk other people that are there. I suspect his ego was incredibly damaged and he was forced to take a hard look in the mirror and he didn't like what he saw. So what he did is start telling himself lies. I bet you he has a litany of excuses. He has a litany of excuses for how the parking lot incident went the way that it did and why it did. Maybe he tripped.

He wasn't on his A game. You know, something happened that gave them the upper hand. But right now, when he has moments by himself that are quiet, I guarantee you, his ego is substantially bruised and he has self-doubt, which is probably leading him to being a walking cockback, going out there trying to pick fights with everybody. Problem is he's actually following the textbook definition of insanity. He's changed nothing. So he's doing the same thing, but he's expecting a different outcome. And that's just really not a good strategy. I would agree that these things can escalate. Because what if he loses again? Is he going to go over the top and multiply his current behavior by five by 10x? I would

hope not. I would hope that the first incident would be a good look in the mirror. and he could realize, hey, maybe I should put some time into training. The second one, maybe it would do that, but like I said, it also might lever it crazy in the other direction. So he's in an interesting spot. But I would like to think he's at least in a malleable spot because of the experience that he just had. Instead of, my suggestion would be, you know, just an off-the-cuff suggestion here. instead of trying to talk him into doing some BJJ training, I would almost just invite him to wherever you train or wherever your friends may train

and go there in an environment where there's nobody on the mats and just ask him to roll around for a bit. For people who have never been in a fight, I don't know if it's possible to describe how utterly and completely dominated you can be when you bump up against somebody that has dedicated their life to it or is beyond like a casual hour or two per week hobbyist. And I'm not talking about jiu-jitsu. If you on the street start talking shit to somebody who was a golden gloves boxer and you get into a stand-up boxing match with him, stand the fuck by. How about a Muay Thai fighter? They're good at kicking, punching, clinching, kneeing, elbowing. I mean, I don't want any part of any of that shit. Now, Jiu Jitsu, everybody who

listens to the podcast, knows that I really enjoy Jiu Jitsu. And I say this every time when I talk about it. It's not magic. We're not talking about Harry Potter shit where you can cast a spell and you're invincible. But once you have a certain level of knowledge and you understand the very likely actions that human beings can take based off their structural system and the basic behavior that people will exhibit to try to escape these positions, it can feel like magic because you recognize the patterns and you can get there first. It's one of the most humbling things ever to think one thing of yourself and then go into one of these environments with somebody, like I said, who is not just a hobbyist or, you know, like, maybe I'll train, you know, a couple

hours a month. Even then, they probably will have the upper hand. I think very rapidly, those size and strength would be the determining factor there. But you train and your friends train. What I recommend is you get your buddy into a gym. And like I said, do it when there's nobody else there. Try to expose your friend to just how controlled they can be, regardless of their size and strength, if they bump up against somebody who knows what they're doing. That humbling in the that environment where there's not any judgment and you're there just, hey man, I want to show you what's possible. And to try to maybe crack that facade and get past the ego a little bit, you know, maybe in Jocko's terms, come in and flank that ego from a different direction.

That I think you might have a little bit more luck with. For me, I avoided Jiu-Jitsu forever because so many of my friends were so like, you got to try Jiu-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B. And finally, I was like, shut the fuck up. If you shut up, I will go and try it. But it almost, it almost, actually, it's not even an almost. It did turn me away from it based off of how devout and passionate some people were about my God, get out of here with your cold shit. But then you get in there and you encounter somebody who's smaller, who is weaker, and they are toying with you. And it's humbling. And I loved it. That's why I actually fell in love with it, because those things happened and still do, continued to happen to me throughout my journey, it's that constant reminder that there's always

somebody else out there who is going to just kick you directly in the dick hole. And that, as a human being, I think is super important because it'll round the edges and you'll stop going to bars and talking shit to people. The only people I have found that actually want to engage in violence willingly, there's two types. One, people who just really love to fight, but two, the other one is those who have never been around it. And they watch fighting in movies and people go flying backwards with these bullshit karate kicks and these fucking cadas that they're doing on screen and they think that's what it's going to be like and then they wake up in the hospital and it's like oh shit maybe i should devote some time to this going down a rabbit hole but the whole point of this is

is figure out a way to show your buddy how bad it can get in an environment where there aren't any consequences where he can tap and be done with it it's great training jiu jihitsu on mats with training partners that you trust when when you tap you know they're going to let go of your joint or stop torquing on it or they're not going to choke you unconscious or If you take it too far and they do choke you unconscious, they're going to be there laughing at you when you wake up. There's no fucking taps in the street. Who knows what these two guys could have done to your friend? They could have killed him.

And if he continues down that path with no respect for what is possible, I'm not going to say it's likely. It's possible for sure. But I don't think you would want to be around that either. The best thing that you can do is show him what is possible in a much more controlled environment. And if he doesn't listen, you know, again, you can't want more for somebody else than they actually want for themselves. Hopefully that helps. Question two. This is an uncomfortable one, so I won't beat around the bush.

Basically, I think my dad is a pedophile, but I can't prove it. And I don't know what to do. Here are the reasons why I believe that. One, childhood accusations. When I was a kid, I accused my dad of molesting me. There was a custody battle and it was and it was this whole thing. But eventually it just got dropped. Number two, teenage boys.

My dad has come out as a homosexual and meth addict in recent years and he freely admits that he has a thing for younger males. He even brought an 18 year old boy over to the family dinner who he freely admitted he was having sex with. Three, the toddler. My dad was dating a woman for a few years ago for a few years. who had a grandson, who was a toddler. Apparently my dad wanted to spend a lot of time alone with this boy. If it were any one of these things, I could write it off. But I think the three of them together is pretty damning. I've gone to the police about it, but they said without proof or a confession, there's nothing that they can do. It's killing me because I feel like it's my job to stop him. For whatever reason, I'm the only family member who's been the most focused on this.

other family members have agreed that they see what I'm saying and share my suspicions but I have been the one going around talking about it I can't think about anything else and it's really holding me back in life what's the move how do I win here fuck interesting last phrasing how do I win here I don't think that you can win here I don't think this is one where there's going to be a victory or a win in a loss column I think that this is going to be gnarly regardless of what you do from here. So I would change your headspace on this as to not how do I win here, but how do I do the right thing here? A few thoughts, and this is where I wish you could be here, so I could ask you questions.

Childhood accusations. When I was a kid, I accused my dad of molesting me. There was a custody battle, and it was the whole thing. but eventually it just got dropped. Why did it get dropped? Did your dad molest you? If your dad did molest you, then I think there's a little bit more certainty into the other two bullet points. I'm fascinated to know why it got dropped, and I would be fascinated to know why you would make that accusation if it wasn't true. The teenage boys, you know, your dad coming out as a homosexual and a meth addict in recent years, people need to be able to live their life.

life, however they want to live their life. I have no experience with meth whatsoever. I don't think it's really improved anybody's quality of life. And I've certainly seen the other side of that coin, even here in the Calisbell area, and especially talking with my law enforcement friends, the number of repeat customers that they have specifically with that particular narcotic is unbelievable. And their description, because they encounter these people so often over the years, their description of their descent into the absolute basement of humanity is pretty startling. And maybe actually the next time I have Nelson on or somebody who works with and around those type of people, I can get them to describe that because it might be worth people listening to.

It might actually change their opinion or their decision making in their life. Hopefully. Maybe it won't do shit. But it's terrible to hear. And from a sexual perspective, you know, I have no issue with people. being attracted to just about whatever it is they would want to be attracted to, but I have some hard stops on that. And one of them, you know, I try to have empathy for just about everybody. I cannot find empathy for pedophiles. And I don't care if you call yourself a minor attracted

person. It doesn't really matter to me what is described as. An adult praying on a child, of any sex. All I really want to do is physically get my hands on on you. And the most amount of pleasure for me would be to end your fucking life with my bare hands. Second of that would be to put a moonroof in your head. So I can't as hard as I try by find empathy for those people. Yeah, I understand that it might be a psychological disorder. Totally get that.

But if you action on that, I have nothing for you other than hatred and the ability to, to hurt you. And I think we need to talk about boundaries here a little bit. He brought an 18-year-old boy over to the family dinner. Like what family dinner are we talking about here? Are we talking about your spouse? Are you talking about with like your mom or somebody else later on? And also, why are there no boundaries? I, even if, so I'm trying to think here what your age could possibly be.

Let's say you're 20 and then let's say your dad. had your mom and dad had you when they were 20 still puts him at 40 40 and 18 again I want people to be able to live their life an 18 year old on paper is an adult I would argue that that doesn't necessarily mean that they are adult in the way that they think or should be adult in the way that they act it's a very fluid scale for me I know what it says on paper from a legal perspective but goddamn man set some fucking boundaries especially given what your bullet point number one was childhood accusations of what you accuse your dad of. Now you're allowing your dad to bring a young man over to the family dinner and he's admitting

that he's having sex with him. That's a super weird conversation. Like, hey, pass the potatoes and this is the dude that I'm fucking. I don't know. I have so many questions for you. The toddler. Your dad wanting to spend a lot of time alone with the boy. Concerning for sure.

Do a lot of grandparents, though, want to spend time? All right. Actually, it's not even a grandparent. Your dad was just dating this woman. So, yeah, I was going to say a lot of grandparents, of course, want to spend time with younger kids that are specifically genetically tied to them or part of their family. The fact it was just related to the woman that he was dating, yes, that is concerning to me. So you have fired off for me three red star clusters in a row. Any one of those things would be concerning for me. All three of them together, right? I don't have a crystal ball, obviously. it's concerning to say the least. How do you win here? Like I said, you can't. What's the right thing to do? Well, put yourself back in the situation of when you were a child and you were the one who was being preyed upon.

Would you have wanted somebody, anybody to come in and stop that? I think the answer for anybody who is being abused would be yes. So what's the move? In my opinion, and that's all that this counts for, the move is that you need to be that person for everybody else. And that's why I said I don't think there's a win here. Probably going to destroy the relationship with your father. Either way, families get gnarly. And like I've said many times before, if you go long enough or far enough backwards in the family history of almost every family, you're probably going to find something fucked up, but that shouldn't, just because somebody shares a genetic tie with you, that shouldn't

stop you from doing the right thing. And the right thing, again, in my opinion, and my opinion only, is to step in here and stop this person who by your description sounds to me like a predator. I wouldn't necessarily do it alone. Other family members have agreed that they see what I'm saying and they share your suspicions. Have you told those other family members about the accusations you made when you were a kid. I think the most powerful thing that you can do here is rally the troops of your family and confront your dad. And I wouldn't stop at that confrontation. I'm trying to view this from the perspective of this was if this was my own father, which is super hard because my dad exhibits none of these behaviors. I know he's not a pedophile. So I'm putting on a, I'm not putting on.

I'm trying to view it through a different lens. If this was my dad or anybody else in my family, I would do everything I possibly could to stop them. If this was my own father, I would immediately separate them from anybody that they could victimize. And I would involve the police and make sure that they were thrown away for the rest of their life if there was a crime committed. I would do that to my own father, which, again, is probably easier for me. to say because I know this isn't the case for my dad, but remove the father aspect from this. Okay. You try viewing this through the lens of this.

Okay, you know, it's your father. Strip that away. And just view this objectively as somebody who is not directly tied into your life due to the familial tie that you guys have through genetics and through blood. What would you do in that situation? I think the answer is pretty clear. You need to do everything humanly possible to protect those who are unable or not. are unwilling to protect themselves. And I think that's the move.

Rally the troops, get your family together. At a minimum, I would, I don't know if you could stage an intervention because I don't know if an intervention is the right term, but I would gather those people in your family and I would get your dad into a room and I would be very crystal clear with your family leading up to that about what happened to you, what you're seeing right now, the things that you have heard from the past, and figure out a way forward to make sure that they never happen again. And there are so many questions that I have in my head from your email. Again, like, why did the accusation get dropped? You know, he brought an 18-year-old boy over. How long have they been dating?

Was it before that they were 18? The toddler, I would want a little bit more information about that. Get a game plan together. I would involve the police if I were you. If this, if I was your situation, I would involve the police. I would involve the family. You know, if there's no confession, I mean, again, what about what happened to you? Maybe there's a statute of limitations with that. I don't know. Maybe that would make a difference when it came to come in and talk into law enforcement, but there's no winning here. This is going to be an ugly battle, but I can't think of anything more important to do than to stop this person. Again, my opinion, I hope that I'm wrong. I suspect that I'm not. That would be my advice. Question three.

Andy, in a world that seems to continue to get more and more polarized politically, what advice would you give people to help them not get so caught up in partisan politics? I have very close friends who are liberal and very close friends who are conservative. And I could honestly care less what parties someone belongs to just as long as they are a positive influence in my life and treat other people with dignity and respect. I was raised by a very conservative father and a very liberal mother. So I have always considered myself lucky in that regard because from a very early age, I realized there was very good, decent people on both sides of the aisle, and I never fell into the trap of judging someone based on their political beliefs. With that said, it has also left me in a state of political limbo.

My conservative friends are constantly accusing me of being too liberal, and my liberal friends think I am too conservative. In my opinion, you do an amazing job of balancing this in your own life, seeing as how you come from a military family and served yourself. I would assume that close to 90% go of the people you serve with are Republicans, and many of them are probably just like the very conservative friends that I have today. How have you managed to stay balanced in your approach and not demonize others that you disagree with? In today's world, it is so easy to surround yourself with others that think and vote the same way you do and to dismiss those on the opposing side. Yet you have never struck me as someone who falls into this trap. How have you managed to do this and what advice would you offer others to keep you? them from falling into this trap themselves.

Man, good question, and I'm seriously worried about the content of this question as we approach 2024. I don't know if our country could survive another election cycle like we did in 2020. It seemed like the left and right or conservative and liberal or whatever fucking term of the day is being used. They had their backs towards each other, and they were slowly marching away from each other. not necessarily looking to find common ground. And maybe that's not a new thing. I really, if I'm being honest, didn't pay much attention to the political environment until probably the last 10 years.

So I talked to my dad. He describes the political environment as being very different when he was growing up. And maybe this is just the natural course of human evolution. I don't know. But at a baseline level, I think the reason that I'm able to. be friends. I try to be friends with everybody. I don't really care what their political belief is. And I think that comes from, I don't judge people, I don't judge people on their beliefs because I have some fucking weird beliefs. Like skydiving isn't very risky. And there are things that I enjoy doing. And I can justify for myself walking up to the edge of a cliff in Switzerland and sending it in a wingsuit while having being married at the time and having three kids in the risk versus reward. And the belief system that I have, the belief system that I have, the belief system. that I fought for, I realize that some of those things are very unique to me. And I also realize that I have blind spots and that I'm a very flawed human being. And so I try to give everybody

that grace and I try not to judge people at all based off of their political beliefs. I have seen a lot of evil in this world, but I also have to remind myself that I went to places and sought out my interaction with that evil. So just because I may have touched it a little bit more than most people, it doesn't mean that everybody is like that. It'd be the same as a first responder feeling like everybody is untrustworthy or, you know, that everybody is a piece of shit or everybody is irresponsible because those are the calls that they respond to, people on their worst day. It'd be really easy to paint the rest of your life, that brush. And if you do so, I think it's a dangerous thing. So I start with before I ever try to

judge anybody, which for clarity, I don't try to judge people. I try not to judge them. But before I ever look externally, I try to develop a better understanding of myself internally. My opinions on things have changed over the years. Probably one of the most concrete examples would be my thoughts on the Iraq War. And I've talked with my dad about this on the podcast. He was vehemently against it when we were leading up to the invasion. I was arguing. for it. My thoughts have completely changed on that. My thoughts on war, the application of U.S. military power, the involvement of human capital and how we should do it, when we should do it, where we should do it. My thoughts continue to change as I get older and I learn more and

consistently am trying to educate myself on things that I had a blind spot on earlier in my life. So I start by looking at myself in the mirror. And what I see in the mirror is a really flawed person who could do better in just about every aspect of their life. So when I hear people who are on the extreme edges of the left or the right and they are just dug in like a tick and every single conversation that they have eventually goes back to a talking point of an issue that is important to them, I try to see myself in them. And by that I mean I try to see that they are also a. flawed person, but I am equally as flawed. And I try to not judge myself, so therefore I try to not judge them. And I look for the best in them. And I try to find common ground. And when it comes down to it, at the end of the day, it's really easy to avoid politically driven conversations.

If you know somebody, maybe they're even in your family who is diametrically opposed to one of your beliefs. You already know that. The likelihood of you changing their mind is extremely low. So maybe don't bring up those particular topics. And if you do bring them up or they come up and it gets contentious back away from it. You know, it's one of my favorite sayings and it goes with people who want to argue with you about politics. A tug of war involves two people or two teams. If one of those sides, just let's go the rope, the struggling match is over. And I'm not saying you shouldn't pay attention to politics. I'm not saying you shouldn't vote based off of the morals that you have. What I'm saying is arguing with people about it.

is a choice. And it's one that I quite frankly don't think has much value. What does have value is regardless of what your morals are, if you align more with the left or more to the right, is take those morals and actually try to impact the society around you at a local level. Be the best husband or mother that you can be, the father or mom that you can possibly be. Be the best part of your half of the equation in a relationship. Go be a part of the school board. Get involved in your kids sports. What's the fuck? Neighborhood Watch. I don't even know if that's actually a thing. But there are so many ways that you can get involved at a local level and actually take action on your moral compass as opposed to arguing with people because their compass points in a

different direction. And honestly, from what I've seen to use the analogy of as a compass, more often than not, they're not 180 degrees out. They're like 45 degrees off or maybe 90 degrees off at most. and you have a choice there. You can really dig your feet in and fight over the differences, or you could accept where you have common ground, realize that your beliefs largely are going to be based on where you're from, the parents that you had, the environment that you had growing up. And not everybody's the same.

Some people have a silver spoon and some people have a rolling fuck show their entire life. So they're going to come to opinions through a very different manner. somebody's opinion who is different than yours doesn't mean that they're a bad person unless they want to fuck kids like we've already talked about and then they should be beaten to death in the goddamn public square outside of that and i'm sure there's some other examples of things where i would feel that way on outside of that it's not a matter of somebody being good or evil it's just a matter of somebody feeling a different way and at the end of the day for me i don't care if somebody is a liberal or a conservative what i care about is being the best american that i can be and trying to stand for what i think think that means. And to me, that means we live in a place where we're lucky that people can scream at the top of their lungs at their neighbor and tell them how stupid and fucked up they are and how they disagree with everything that they're saying and that they believe in. And I'm not saying you should do that. I'm saying I feel very fortunate we live in a place where it can happen. Because like I said, I have been to some places. And again, it's not that all places are like this.

I sought out that engagement by my chosen occupation and what I did for living. It's not like that everywhere, but there are places where that shit is so completely not tolerated that can terminate in the loss of your life. And once you see that and touch that and see the after effect of that, I think it makes it a little bit harder to judge people when they don't have the same belief that you do. So the biggest piece of advice I have for anybody who maybe find yourself in these political arguments or have, a really hard time with judgment. And by that I mean levying judgment upon others. Before you do that, take a deep breath. If you see one of these conversations trending in the wrong direction, just take a deep breath and realize that you can put down the rope and that you can always find the good in somebody even if they don't believe in the things that you believe in. It's the diversity of belief

that I think is part of what makes this country great. I would never want to live in the United States if everybody had the same thoughts, the same direction. That's not how I think we continue to evolve and innovate, and that's not the environment that I want to live in. So I appreciate people's differences. I don't judge them for it because I try to see myself in them. And if they're anywhere near as flawed as I am, it's, you know, I can survive and live incredibly, incredibly happily next to somebody who doesn't hold the same beliefs that I do once

I realize I'm just a different version of them. and the beliefs don't necessarily determine the value of a human being on this planet. I think it's much more important what they do with those beliefs. And that's why I say, hey, go back to just taking your moral compass and doing as much with it as you can in the fucking real world. Also, don't argue with people on the Internet. Last question. I've been a longtime listener of the podcast, along with several others, and have also read countless books on the Gwatt, Global War on Terror. Whenever I listen to veterans recount their experience, I often find myself a

imagining how I would feel if I was in their shoes. I have heard numerous instances of soldiers and Marines being so nervous before leaving the wire for operations that they even puked from the nerves, especially in Hellman Province due to the IED threat. Out of curiosity, have you or anyone you know without naming names, been so nervous that you have puked before leaving the Fob forward operating base or in the helicopter on the way to the target? I was wondering if this was a common occurrence and how it was viewed by other members of the team

when it does happen. If seal puked in the helicopter on the way to the target, do they other than the target? Do the other team members look down on that individual at all, or do they simply not give a shit? With all the badass military movies and cool guy photos of operators on Instagram in today's society, I feel like nerves before operations are seldom talked about, and you answering this question may give listeners an extra glimpse into the emotional toll that our service members go through, sometimes even before leaving the wire. Interesting question. I don't know if I've ever been asked this particular question. I have never watched somebody throw up on a helicopter, and I don't know if I've ever seen some. somebody throwing up due to nerves.

Having said that, the training pipeline, the selection pipeline and the training pipeline that follows it is a very challenging and difficult process. And a lot of it, there's no way to inoculate somebody from stress. But a lot of the pipeline is gradual introduction to stress upon stress, upon stress, upon stress, upon stress over time that I think helps lend itself towards coping with or at least being able to maintain your emotional control and highly stressful situations. And I've talked about this on the podcast many times. The diving test that I administered in second phase had absolutely nothing to do with diving and it had to do with your ability to follow procedure regardless of how

emotional the situation became. Underwater can't breathe, just dying. for error, do you give into that and bolt to the surface, or do you deal with the stress and work your way through it objectively? Nothing to do with diving, everything to do with your stress management, coping skills, and your ability to follow procedures. So I can't speak to any community outside of the SEAL community, but I never saw somebody throw up in the helicopter. If I did, I honestly probably would have assumed that it was a sickness as opposed to a stress issue or a fear issue, but on that note, I would never, ever want to work with somebody who said that they had no fear. If you did what I used to do for living and you told me that you were not afraid,

I would be very concerned that, one, you were a sociopath or two, you that you weren't paying attention. I don't want to work with sociopaths. And what I do want to work with are people who can analyze, assess, and mitigate risk, and then look at the risk that's left over, that residual, and make decisions off of that. You're never going to get the risk to zero. And what I want to do is work with people that are very aware of where the risks are, where they could come from, they accept that, and then they will objectively work through that target set regardless of that residual risk. It doesn't mean you have a laissez-faire attitude about it. It means that you've done everything that you can and then you come from a pipeline that has developed in you tools that help you control

your emotions in these very emotional environments. Getting shot at is super shitty. It's very scary, right? Freezing, though, and not moving behind a rock and then getting flanked and shot from a different angle is not to move. You need to recognize what's going on. Like, okay, I have cover and concealment right now, but I need to move before I get maneuvered on. How about I maneuver on my energy or my enemy? It's a scary decision to make, because, okay, I have covered. I'm going to move. It's a scary decision to make because you're going to put yourself at risk for a moment, but it might save your life. You have to be able to work through those emotions to be able to do that. Sociopaths, they wouldn't care, right? They'd just be walking around out in the open. Like,

whatever, man, I don't give a fuck. I don't want to work with that person. I want to work with critical thinkers who understand risk and regardless of emotional state that they may be in or the emotional environment that they may be in. They are in control as opposed to allowing that control or that emotion to control them. So fear is a real thing. I was scared many, many times on target. It's not about being scared. It's about doing your job regardless of that fear. It's not about gambling.

It's about taking calculated risks. That's another person I don't want to work with is somebody who gambles. That's somebody who pays no attention and just says, fuck it, here we go, full back dive. No interest in that whatsoever. So it's a real thing, but I never saw anybody have those physical manifestations. but anybody that tells you that they weren't scared in a combat environment or they never felt fear. It's two things.

They're either sociopath or they're a fucking liar. So I'd use both with caution. And that's it for this Friday. See you guys Monday.