Cleared Hot - Powered By BRCC - Full Auto Friday - Round 126

Episode Date: October 7, 2022

Rapid Fire Q and A to finish off the week: 1. Everyday Carry (EDC) and the shame associated with fanny packs 2. I bombed an interview and now am struggling with confidence and depression 3. I don't want to work for someone else anymore, I need to do my own thing. Any advice 4. A small but profane rant on using children as your sounding board and therapist Enjoy

All right, here we go again. Full Auto Friday number 126. Let's go. Okay, copy, west of the smoke. I'm looking at danger close now. Okay, okay. Can't be clear not. All right, everybody.

I have three questions for today. And then I will end with a small rant, which is based off of multiple emails that have come in recently. Occasionally this happens where one topic, it's just like, boom, and they're all kind of the same. And so I'll address that at the end. This particular topic is a little bit passionate to me at this moment. I think you'll understand why when you hear it.

But let's get into question number one. Two weeks ago, you answered an EDC question. You gave solid advice to a listener originally asking for EDC caliber. I agree with everything you said, including encouraging the individual to practice clearing leather and doing so from different positions, standing, sitting, etc. This made me wonder how fast Andy Stelmph can clear his ever-so-fashioned fanny pack quickly. Do you use a pack design specifically for EDC? And if this is a standalone for people and you've never heard the term EDC, it just stands for everyday carry.

If so, what should a person willing to abandon all shame be looking for in a product? Finally, I hail from a constitutional carry state and I regularly see dudes who open carry. I don't understand why when it is legal to conceal. They would want to advertise that they are strapped. What are your thoughts on open versus conceal? where both are legal. Related to that, do you feel like when you are carrying in a fanny pack that everyone knows that the only reason any self-respecting man would wear that is to conceal a pistol? All fair questions. All valid. Where do we begin? How fast can I clear from a fashionable fanny pack?

Slower than a holster. That's the reality of it. And the reason that I choose to carry a fanny pack sometimes is it depends on what I'm wearing. I was born and raised in Santa Cruz, California. I love flip flops and board shorts. I really have not found a great solution for carrying concealed. I prefer an appendix carry, and we could go on for hours, if not days, about the best way to carry, conceal, where to carry, conceal, what type of holster optics, all of these things. I prefer an appendix carry, which would be somewhere between like one and two o'clock if you were to look at a clock face. 12 being due north, six being south, if you know what I'm talking about. Board shorts and a holster, I don't like it.

What do I like about board shorts? They're comfy. They're casual. They're loose fitting. What am I looking for when it comes to, like if I'm wearing pants and I have a belt on, I'm looking for a belt designed to integrate well. with a holster and to hold it tighter to my body so I can move around I have to worry about it falling out. It's like the exact opposite of what I want with board shorts.

So I know there are other solutions out there. A lot of them are going to be like a spandex strap and I just don't find that to be comfortable. So the fanny pack is the option I go with because it allows me to just wear the shorts and my t-shirt the way that I want to. Now skipping ahead a little bit, do I assume the people know that I have a gun in there? Yeah, I guess to a degree that I do. but I also have like gum in there. I have my keys. I have my things.

I have my special things. I have like my PO box keys. I have the studio keys. I have my car keys. I have my wallet. So it is actually, you know, it's pretty nice to have that stuff. And at the same time, yeah, it's pretty obvious that you could have a gun in there. Do all people who carry fanny packs carry guns?

No, but I do make the assumption that people probably assume that of me. And I'm okay with that. because it's not strapped to the outside of my body. And I guess I'll hop to that too. What are my thoughts on open carry versus conceal carry? I feel like you should do whatever you want to do. But I think that people who open carry are also doing it because they want to make a statement. And they're peacocking a little bit.

And again, this is just my opinion. Maybe I'm wrong about you guys. But if you can conceal, I would recommend that you do. It's going to make people more comfortable. You can watch people. It's just the next time you see somebody open carrying, don't watch the person that's open carrying. You can kind of see the reaction to people that are around,

especially depending on the environment that you are in. I think that the people who choose to open carry are looking for that. Like I said, I think they're peacocking a little bit. I think they're posturing a little bit. And if you want to do that, I mean, okay, I guess. But I would much rather be very lethal and not billboard that with a neon sign flashing. because if something is going to happen, let's look at it from the other perspective. Let's say there's somebody there who has desire to do evil and damage.

I'm going to start with the person that's open-carrying. Why? Because I want to neutralize that threat first. Just food for thought. But again, do whatever you want to do. In my opinion, that's why I think that they do it. Is a fanny pack open-carrying? No, it's not.

Is it a little bit more obvious? Yes, it is. But I've already discussed why I do those things. How fast can I come out of the holster on the fanny pack? Not incredibly fast. because we got zippers involved and the retention system in there is a little bit different than the Kidex holster that I usually go with. A lot of people ask me what holsters I use. I use 406 holsters.

They're made down in Missoula. Full disclosure, the person that makes them is my cousin Aaron, but they're fucking awesome. So that's who I go with. What I will say, though, is I practice coming out of whatever holster that I'm using. And I include the fanny pack with that. So the fanny pack that I have is, yes, it's designed for everyday carry. And I'm sure there's a variety of designs. This particular pack has a zippered pocket that is closer to my body and then another pocket in front of that.

The pocket in front of that is where I put all my special things. The pocket behind that is specifically designed to carry a pistol. And it has a fabric retention that goes over the trigger well. The pistol is in there. And there are a couple things that I do. One, unload the gun, practice drawing from there. Because what you'll notice, especially when it comes with the fabric retention, is it's actually, actually really easy to snag on the front site. So you have to bring it out at an angle that

reduces the likelihood that it's going to snag on that fabric. Could you yank it out if you needed to? Yes, but I also don't want to destroy my fanny pack. Another thing is this. If you have multiple pockets and they're all accessed by zippers, the zippers are probably going to look very similar. One thing I do is I put my zippers on the opposite side of the fanny pack. So I know just based off the position of the zipper, which pocket I'm going to be gaining access to. What you don't want to do is order a coffee somewhere and be like, okay, sir, that's going to be $7 for your moka whip frappuccina with double fudge caramel macchiato,

and you're like, oh, sweet, let me grab my wallet and zip and the thing flips open, and you're like, oh, hey, what's going on? You're looking at my piece? Yeah, because I'm looking at my piece too. You don't want to be that guy. So create a system for yourself, and it's also great for you to practice, which hand are you going to unzip with?

Most of the time, when I am unzipping the, the accessory pocket. That's going to be the pocket that doesn't have the gun in it. I'm using my right hand. But when I'm unzipping the pocket that has my gun in it, I would use my left. And I have it set up that way. Why?

Because I'm right-handed and I need my dominant ham free to access the pistol. So I'll be the first to tell you that I think Fannie Pax, they're a little gay. All right? They're a little gay, in my opinion. But they have their utility. And I like that utility from time to time. but I'm realistic about what I can get away with while I have it on.

And I'm realistic about the image, as it would be, of somebody carrying a fanny pack. Because when I look at somebody carrying a fanny pack, depending on who it is, I have the same thoughts as well. But I'd rather see a fanny pack or nothing at all than somebody who is wearing a Civil War era fabric holster, clipped to their pocket flapping around as you walk. Yeah, I'm talking to you, dude, that I saw in Albertson's the other day here in Calisball. I didn't say anything to you, but all I could think of in my head was I could get that gun before you could get that gun.

So, food for thought. And that's all I got on question, number one. Don't sass me, computer. Here we go. Boom. All right. Let me make this one a little bit bigger. Tiny writing from this individual.

son of a bitch my computer is sassing me all right a year ago i was close to joining the alphabet soup of federal agencies i bombed the final interview and did not make the cut receiving the rejection letter last october crushed my confidence i made it through the holidays fine then slid into significant depression in february of march of 2022 i became lethargic spiteful and this experience pushed a girlfriend away and in general has led to the shittiest emotional year of my life. I feel better now, but have had an awful taste in my mouth from that experience and don't know whether or not to pursue the path again. If I've learned anything, it's that placing all of my hopes and identity into an occupation, even if it was my dream, is was unhealthy, or at least for me. I'm 27 years old and I work in social service. My question, what's any of that mean? I believe in service, but don't want to stay in my field. I'm not sure what to do next, just that something needs to change. I'm torn up about losing the last year to my emotions. I want to make amends, but I know that can't be my sole focus.

It's been a time. Any advice is appreciated. Okay, I'm going to say something to you that could be misinterpreted. Here it goes. I'm glad that happened to you. And I'm glad that happened to you because it sounds like you weren't prepared for it. And it sounds like you have learned some very valuable lessons because it did happen. And you're at a time in your life where you have plenty of runway in front of you that you can make other choices. Placing all of your hopes and identity into an occupation, even if it is your dream, is and was unhealthy. Yes, I have said this so many times, right? Your occupation is what you do.

And the way I describe it is this. If it goes on a business card, if it's an acronym or a title, that's what you do for a living. If somebody asks you who you are, who are you as a person? Would you hand them that business card? No, of course you wouldn't, because that's what you do. It's not who you are. And it's very important to remember that. I'm also thankful that you encountered failure in the way that you did.

You were crushed by the rejection letter last October. It crushed your confidence. Good. I'm glad that that happened. I'm not glad that that happened. I think you could use this as a turning point in your life. You probably had not received rejection up into that point in your life to this level. You've already learned from it. Now you can grow from it. And my advice to you would be to set incredibly lofty goals and I would go after that rejection again. I wouldn't like try to do things in the hope like, yay, they said no. But I would pick things. to do or getting rejected is like a coin toss. It's a 50-50. And if you get rejected again, what I think would happen is your response to it would be far less. And then if you got rejected again, I think your response to it would be far less again. You could cut it in half and then it'd be 25 percent and then be 12 and a half percent. And I know math and rejection, we're not talking about

necessarily things that are directly correlated. But what I'm saying is you can learn and grow from it each time. And the first time it happens, yes. it's going to be fucking catastrophic, but not the second time, probably not the third time. And you'll get to a place where you're not going to care. And then you're going to get to a place where you realize that failure and rejection, that's actually part of getting to where you want to go. And when you encounter those things, failure and rejection, you can either make it a roadblock for yourself or you can make it into motivation.

You can take that rejection, turn it into a metaphorical log, throw it on the fire, and burn as bright as you possibly can. And then you can pass all those motherfuckers that put barriers in front of themselves who get this rejection letter and are never able to put themselves out there again because all they want is to not feel that rejection again. I know it feels like shit. I know it sucks. But learn the lessons you can from it and then move on.

Does that mean you need to go back and reapply to those agencies? I don't know if you wanted to because the reality is the rejection. objection letter crushed you. Just because it happened one time doesn't mean it's going to happen again. And you know, you said you bombed the final interview. I don't know what necessarily that means because I don't even know what the interview's process is like. But I have to believe that you learn from that experience as well. So take that knowledge, become a better person because you have that experience and that knowledge. And if you do go back down this path, go into that room a second time knowing you're going to fucking knock it out of the park. Take what you learn the first time and

learn from that change your behavior and just knock it out of the park the second time you go in there so it's easy for me to say obviously right um that you can learn from all this you you lost a year of your life in your description and you're torn up um about losing that last year to your emotions okay you've recognized the toll that it had build a path forward based off of what you have learned and you know I think it's very easy to look at people who are successful whatever your definition of success may be maybe it's monetary maybe it's a job title on that business card maybe it's a fucking car for all I know I don't know what people use is their metric for success for clarity I don't use any of those but it's very easy to see people who you think are successful and think that they only had success after success

after success. In my experience, those that are the most successful generally had the largest minefield to navigate on their way to that success. But it's that minefield and the setbacks and the valleys in their motivation. It's in the moments where they had to work through something and come out of it, a better version of themselves. That's what allowed them to navigate those things in the future. They didn't avoid adversity because they got crushed by it once. People who do that are going to get to the end of their life, in my opinion at least, and be filled with regret because they never did shit because they failed once and they didn't want to put themselves out there to fail again. My theory is the exact opposite. Keep failing

until you fucking succeed. Try to continue to fall forward, you know, make yourself better. And I'm not saying go out there. I'm not saying go out there with the intention of failing. Please, people listening to this, don't think that that's what I'm saying. failure is okay as long as you don't stop failure is not acceptable if it becomes a barrier that you place in front of yourself and cannot get around so to the person that wrote this take what you learned and take who you are now from that experience and continue to build on it find something that scares the shit out of you that you think there is a coin toss that you might get this rejection letter again and then go after it with every ounce of vigor that you

have and I think it'll be a better person for it. Question number three. Holy shit. This is the smallest writing I have ever seen on a question. Why is it like this? There we go. Long time listener, first time messenger. I'm currently in a predicament, but it's not necessarily a bad one.

My wife is a nurse and I am an operator at a chemical plant. We both have good jobs and make good money. But I've always told my wife that even though I have a good job, I'm still not happy working for someone else and I've always wanted to do my own thing. Well, just recently, an opportunity presented itself. My cousin owns a machine tool business with 50 employees, and he's ready to sell and actually asked me if I'd be interested. I told him I was, and my wife and I would talk it over.

This is definitely not a small sort, and it is a bit overwhelming. My question to you is, what advice would you give for someone like me who's 34 years old, never owned or ran a business, but wants to take on something of this size? I want to be a great leader who has great relationships with employees. I would also like to join one of the Mike Glover seminars when you are involved. Thank you for your time. Mike and I don't have anything on the calendar yet, but I'm sure we'll do something next year. We're actually talking about every other quarter doing something up here in Calispell actually at the coffee shop.

Whether or not or when we are going to announce that, I don't know, but that's something we're thinking about. And I suspect the other two quarters will be out at the Fieldcraft HQ, probably in Heber City. to your question. What advice would I give you or someone else who's 34 years old and never owned or run a business and you want to take something on like this? The best leaders that I ever worked with made no attempt to be the smartest person in the room. And they made every attempt to staff their weaknesses. They didn't have to be the best tactician. They didn't have to be the best strategist.

they needed to be the best at recognizing what they knew and what they didn't know. Leadership, you know, leadership qualities I really think can transcend most, if not all, business, tranches. You need to at some point in time understand what it is that your people do. I'm not saying that you could just, like if you have done used car sales, and I have no idea I'm using that as an example, use car sales for 30 years and you think you're going to go into the aerospace industry. in a leadership position and that you're not going to have to learn anything about that industry, you're mistaken, but the leadership qualities that made you incredibly successful in the industry you're coming from absolutely will translate. So what did that look like in the world that I used to come from? Well, those who were put in leadership positions staffed their weaknesses, and they

listened more than they talked. At the end of the day, the buck stopped with them, and they could certainly leverage and lean on people for their advice. But at the end of the day, they were the one responsible for the decisions that needed to be made. They made them and they stood behind those decisions. But they made them not in a vacuum. They made them in an environment where they had been, I don't want to say tutored, because that's not the right word, but they had communicated with senior leaders and those with an immense amount of experience and got to that decision-making point with all of that input. And if they didn't have an answer or they didn't know something, They went and found the answer or found somebody who knew how to do what they needed to have done so they could fill that gap in capability or knowledge.

It certainly can be overwhelming. And my advice for you would be if you move forward with this, take your time. Leadership like any other skill requires practice and you're not going to be perfect at it. And you know, I tell you what, being a leader and having a great relationship with your subordinates is a tenuous balance. If you have 50 employees via the email, you might need to have like 20 different ways to communicate. Then you're going to need to take time to get to know your people, to get to know what your people do. It can be a challenge, but it's a really rewarding challenge. You know, being in a position where you are successfully leading teams, I don't know if there's anything that feels more rewarding at the end of the day.

When you see your team and the team members succeeding and you're an empowering. them to do so as opposed to standing in their way and trying to take credit for what it is that they are doing. So take your time. Research obviously as much as you can, what you're getting into before you get into it. And think of leadership as a perishable skill. Professionally develop yourself from a leadership perspective, just like you would. Somebody who has a trade. You know, I was talking about motorcycle riding. I can't fucking remember now if it was this week or last week. You know, the basic endorsement that you get on your license, that would be like you filling into this role of being the owner slash boss. And then there's all the continue training

that you could do on top of that, the advanced courses that would continue to refine your ability as a leader. But listen more than you talk when you first start with. And maybe ask your, you know, another thing you can do that would help maybe relieve a lot of the stress is do a left seat, right seat with your, let me see here, was it your cousin? I think it was your cousin. You said in the email, yep, do a left seat right seat for six months. And so you're not just just jumping into something that's completely unknown and it's, you know, the kind of the offcoming legacy and then the oncoming legacy. It'll give your people that are going to be working for you an opportunity to get to know you as well. It'll be much more seamless and less

of a jarring change for them. So hopefully that helps. All right, last question for today. It's actually not even a question. It's a combination of questions and a small, probably a small rant from my perspective. I received quite a few emails. And again, this happens from time to time. maybe it's just fortuitous, I don't know, where the same subject comes up. And here was the broad summary of the subject that has come up over and over and over again. I am divorced from my significant other. We share kids. Our approach on raising the kids could not be more different.

One parent is trying to create, well, let's assume that both parents are trying to create as stable as an environment as possible. But one parent is doing everything that they can to undermine the relationship with the minor children based on what she or he are saying to the kids. And this one means a lot to me because I share custody with my ex-wife. So I'm going to talk broadly just about this and my thoughts on this. Whether or not your relationship with your husband and or wife is successful or not has nothing to do with your kids. A lot of people will say, you know, it's the stress of the kids that drove us apart.

Or maybe not a lot of people, but I've heard that. And my answer to that is, fuck you. It has nothing to do with your kids, right? Your kids didn't choose to be born into that environment. So if your relationship fails or is successful, that's because the husband and wife either were able to work it out and grow together or not. Now, let's say because this one, a lot of people reached out, a subject of divorce and co-parenting, I don't understand why anybody, man or woman, would not want to create and facilitate the healthiest environment possible for their kids.

And in my opinion, at least, the best thing that I could have for my kids specifically would be as many positive role models around as humanly possible. And they have a mom and they have a dad. the best thing that I can think of as a parent to do is to make sure and try to facilitate at every level that my kids have a healthy relationship with their other parent. That just makes sense to me because if you're splitting custody with your kids and you are working on creating a healthy foundation and environment for them, you wouldn't want them to go to another environment that would be considered unhealthy and less of a foundation for them, right? I mean, that to me seems like a rhetorical question. So the best thing that you could do legally and probably morally as well, or reverse that morally, but hopefully legally as well, is to make sure that the relationship is intact and as healthy as possible.

What's the number one way that you could undermine that as a parent to your kids with your ex? It's by running your fucking mouth. And I, for the life of me, cannot figure out why people do this. And probably this most succinct way for me to say this is if anybody is out there and you're divorced, you know, if you are significant other or your ex is a danger to themselves or they are a danger to your kids, if they're out there, diddling kids on the street corner, if they're fucking wearing people's clothing like or a skin like a leotard, those things can be handled from a legal perspective. Protect your kids at all costs. Like if that's, If that's the type of shit that's happening, engage the legal system and get 100% custody or have supervised visits or do whatever the fuck you need to do to make sure that your kids are safe. If that's not the case and you are spending any time talking negatively about the person that you used to be married with, trying to in any way, shape, or form mold the opinion of your children towards the other half. of your previous relationship in a negative manner, you are a fucking piece of shit

because all you are doing is unsettling and unstabling an environment where as a parent, your goal should be the exact opposite. Your kids are not your therapists. Your kids are not your sounding board. And although everybody has their own truth in the world, your truth and objective,

truth are not always the same thing. And if there is a difference between objectively what happened and internally what you want to tell people happened, do yourself a favor, do your kids a favor, and shut the fuck up. They shouldn't have to bear the brunt of that. You should create a positive environment where you live and do everything you can to ensure they have a positive environment where they spend 50% of the rest of their time. If you're not doing that, you are fucking up as a parent. Being a parent is not only a responsibility, but it is a privilege. And what I have found time and time again when people don't realize that the things that

they say have long-term impact, and I've seen this happen, where one side of the relationship, a shattered relationship, all they do, they just live in the past. And all they try to do is naysay the other portion of that relationship. What ends up happening in time is that the kids don't want to be in that environment. You think that what you're doing is setting yourself up for future success, but what you're actually doing is setting yourself up for long-term failure. Nobody, nobody wants to willingly engage with somebody who is living their fucking life in the rearview mirror. So to all of the parents out there who are co-parenting,

who have divorced amicably or who have not, please, at the end of the day, recognize that your kids are fucking innocent. It is your privilege to parent them. And maybe you ought to act as if. Act as if what you say, Andy? Act as if you know what the fuck I'm talking about and make your job as a parent primary, not your desire to negatively talk about the other half. half the equation. And that's all I have for this Friday. See you all on Monday.