Cleared Hot - Powered By BRCC - Full Auto Friday - Round 139

Episode Date: January 27, 2023

Rapid Fire Q and A to finish off the week:   1. Would you try to talk your child out of military service, and if so, how would you do so   2. Advice for staying sharp and strong as one ages �� 3. I was promised a permanent raise after holding an interim position and now that is not being honored, would you leave over something like this   Enjoy

Ladies and gentlemen, how the hell are you? I am back in the studio and let me tell you, it feels, feels good. Feels a little bit crazy though. I think I was on the road for just under one month. And to be back here, to sit back down at my house, at my home, working on the coffee shop, being back in the studio, it feels good. So let's do a little full auto Friday. It's been a while since we've done one. I've only picked three questions.

and let's just do it. Full Auto Friday, number 139. Here we go. I'm looking at danger close now. Well, here we are. Like I said, I'm back in the studio and, God, it feels good. The triple seven was awesome. And before I forget, let's talk about Monday's episode because after next Monday,

it's back to business as normal. We got a bunch of podcasts lined up. But I wanted to very specifically on Monday, give you a little bit of heads up and gals, of course. A little bit of heads up of what's coming. I'm going to do seven lessons learned, one from each of the continents. Because looking back on this and still digesting it, I want to do this while it's still fresh in my mind. There was a very concrete lesson that I can pull out of that experience and apply it to personal or business life, whether it's in planning or execution and headspace.

And so I'm going to go down the list, seven continents. and the lesson that I learned from that and a lesson that I think, and it's going to be the same lesson, the lesson that I think that anybody could take never doing something like what we did and apply it to their personal or professional life. So that's going to be coming on Monday. What else is new now that I've got people tuning in? The new t-shirts launched. I'm wearing one right now for those of you who are on the visual medium. These things are badass.

This is going to be the new standard podcast t-shirt. Thank you to everybody who has supported with the new apparel that I just. launched strategy for this year is going to be designs every month but smaller numbers of those designs because i'd rather carry less inventory and i like kind of the churn and the new stuff coming up so get them if you want to and don't if you don't i totally understand either direction maybe some of them you like some of them you don't i don't know what floats your particular boat but for those of you who have supported me i really appreciate it and all i do with it is just try to invest it back into what i'm doing right now the podcast and trying to make it as good as possible now

On that note, what do you say we actually just get into the questions that I have for today? Got three right in front of me and let's begin. The first one, of course, references my quantitative, my math specialist, Mike Glover. So that's basically why I picked it. Here we go. I've heard the comment made by Mike Glover, and I believe you made a similar comment before, that if your son wanted to pursue special operations, you would support him. But be honest about the realities of that path.

Mike specifically mentioned he'd support but try to convince his son otherwise. I may have missed it and maybe you've gone over before, but what are the specifics you want him to be aware of and use him to help, use to help him be informed of the good and the bad? With your close relation to Mike, do you have an insight from him on what he'd say and what the conversation would look like? Love the show and please keep it going. So I've never had this conversation with Mike, but I suspect that our headspace on this would be exactly the same. You mentioned that he would support but try to convince otherwise. I would support. I don't think I would try to convince otherwise.

The areas where I would spend more time would be in the areas that I now know more about that I didn't have access to when I was looking at this occupation when I was younger. And not only did I not have access to it, the Special Operations community had never gone through an era of sustained combat like it has since 2001. And I don't think maybe even to this day we have a true understanding of what that does to a human being from a physiological perspective and from a psychological perspective because there's an impact on both of those. But I know the impact that it had on me and I've seen the impact that it has had on the community and I know that Mike has as well. So if somebody's looking at wanting to do this, they probably have an idea of what it is that is drawing them into that. Like, hey, this is what I like about this and this is what I think it's going to be.

it would give me the opportunity to explain it from a very realistic my experience only, because that's all I can speak to, but what I thought it was going to be and then what it actually ended up being. And in my experience, the SEAL community was everything that I thought it was going to be and so many things that I never could have imagined it actually being. On the other side of the coin, though, I didn't know the toll that it would take on my body. You know, TBI, post-dramatic stress. These are very common terms.

and they don't apply equally to everybody, but just the wear and tear, the necks, the shoulders, the knees, the joints, the spine, the impact that it would have potentially on relationships, the challenges of military relationships, the divorce rate in the special operations community. There are so many other things that I don't know if it would have made an impact on my choice

when I was that age, but I do believe in making the most educated choice possible. I don't believe on making decisions and choices for other people. But if it was my child, I would want to prevent, not prevent, provide for them the most cohesive platter of information, the good, the bad, the ugly. So they can make the most informed decision possible. Now, the decision that they make is theirs. You know, and Mike perhaps would go a little bit further than that and try to talk that person, his son, out of it. And that's for him to make. That's the choice for him to make and a decision for him

to move forward with. I don't think I would take it that far because at the end of the day, even though, you know, decision making at the age of 17, 18 and 19, is it the best in the world? No, it's not. But do people need to make decisions for themselves?

Yes, they absolutely do. And I don't want my children to become what I want them to be. I want my children to become what they want to be. And I want them to set the yard lines and the boundaries for themselves. I can help them in that by educating them to the best of my ability, but I don't want to make the decision for them. And that's just where I land on that. And again, a quick summary, super long-winded to answer to your short question. I would focus on the things that I know now that I experienced myself and saw in the community that just wasn't available. I don't think it would

have changed my opinion going in when I was at a young age looking at it, but I definitely would have appreciated a more full-spectrum picture. I just don't think it was possible at the time. I really don't. So hopefully that helps. Question number two. I'm 34 in approaching the apex of a man's prime, as they say, the staggered arcs of physical fitness, wisdom, and virility all nearing a common zenith.

So I'm going to stop right here. I don't think your 30s is where this occurs. I think it might be, well, it might be your 30s, but I think it's closer to 40, like your late 30s, early 40s. So just keep that in the back of your mind. And also, I don't think anybody ever should look at a calendar or a year and be like, this is it. This is the best that I'm ever going to be. I think that's a really bad headspace. I think it's okay to look at it and realize at some point

you're climbing up a mountain and then trying to slow your descent as much as possible. That's totally fine. But sitting there and saying, hey, this is as good as I'm ever going to be. So like, you know, I probably don't need to try as hard in the subsequent, you know, days, weeks, months, and years. I think it's a bad headspace. So don't limit yourself like that. Even looking at it like this is a little bit of a self-limiting ideology. Back to your question. And what? And what? wondering if you could offload any advice advice for staying sharp staying in fighting shape i'm a working man no time for jiu jitsu sorry and staying healthy as i continue the trajectory into my late 30s 40s and hopefully well beyond what have you found works in your life i'm a professional

outdoorsman spending 365 days a year mostly stomping around the woods i eat healthy i feel healthy and i think healthy thoughts but looking for some sage advice from a lifelong hard driver like yourself. Thank you. Appreciate the show and love hearing Von Stumpf. Keep him coming back. I absolutely will. Things are looking like his move to the Callisbell area is going to continue, which is awesome because I actually would love to do like a consistent segment with him, you know, maybe once a quarter once a month where it's just Q&A listening to Dick Broom Actual because I tell you what. The guy's got some knowledge and wisdom wrapped up in his life experience. Now, to your question, though, eating healthy, awesome, feeling healthy, great.

thinking healthy thoughts, that can't hurt. But what I would say is, one, I am not a lifelong hard driver. I'm going to put myself directly in the C category when it comes to physical fitness and physical capability. I have been better than some people at things in my life and absolutely dominated by people and some things in my life. And I wish I could say that I've just been at the mountaintops of all these things and I absolutely haven't. And I've also gone through peaks and valleys where I felt incredibly motivated and working. hard and I was on a path and taking all the discipline steps that I needed to and other ones where I was just fucking right off and doing everything that I shouldn't have been doing.

And then I ended up getting to a point when I do that where I just feel like shit and I get myself back on the path. But point being, I haven't been consistent throughout my entire life. And I actually think that's okay. I think little peaks and valleys, you know, one, it helps you appreciate the peaks. And the peaks when you're up there and you start sliding towards the valley, you can just recognize what's coming and it provides me at least a little bit of that more motivation to to bend that curve back up what have i found though you know staying healthy as in your 30s 40s

and beyond what i'll say is this you need to make yourself as strong as possible um i went for a very long period of my life where either i had a gym in my garage i physically owned a gym I would work out in a group setting in a gym and I never was that interested in competing in exercise even though I know there's a whole segment of people that choose to go down that path. I have nothing but respect for it because they are some of the most disciplined

and dedicated people I've ever met in my life. I've never wanted to compete in exercise, but I've always wanted to be physically capable. And I think the basis of that and for longevity in your life is going to be strength. So it's great that you spend 365 days a year stomping around out in the woods. If you want to be able to do that for longer, I would dedicate a few days per week of picking up heavy things. And I don't think you have to get crazy with this.

And there's a lot of things that you can do that don't involve just specifically a barbell. You know, you could do kettlebells, dumb bells. But I would work on strength. I can't think of a negative consequence of being strong. obviously you could go too far and if you wanted to be a power lifter and I have nothing against power lifters. Again, incredible discipline, incredible work ethic to get to where the competitive power lifters are. But you get to a point where you're specializing in one particular thing to the detriment of others. And I think life in general rewards a generalist, not a specialist.

Double use of the word general there in the same sentence. So yeah, get strong. And so like I said, I went through decades of my life of being around metal in a gym. And honestly, I burned myself out a little bit. And when I found Jiu-Jitsu, it was so refreshing. One, my body felt better putting down the weights for a little bit. It didn't necessarily feel better because I was getting the living shit kicked out of myself. So it was a different type of feeling bad.

But it was actually a break that I think my body needed. But now I'm at a point at just over four years into Jiu-Jitsu where I need to start spending some time around weight again. because I'm in the same place that you are. You know, you're where you're at 34. I'm 11 years ahead of you on this one. But I want to continue to be able to do things that are challenging to me, whether that be a jiu-jitsu or bow hunting or, you know, doing seven jumps and seven continents in six days.

You know, again, the stronger that you are going into these things, the more you, one, it's going to increase your likelihood of success if something is relying on your physical performance. But two, there's just a huge aspect of longevity that comes in. one of the worst things and i say this from not being a doctor obviously but you look at people who have a sedentary lifestyle that doesn't lead anywhere good it's the people that are the most active i mean the tandem passenger jim who was with us on the triple seven 72 years old that dude is active that's exactly what i want to be doing when i am that age how do you do that not by sitting on your ass

not by eating poorly you do that by staying in perpetual motion by making yourself as strong as possible now so that when you're clawing your way down that that sand berm of age and you know you're not going to probably develop any more physical capacity but you're holding on to what you have that's to me what extends your runway into the later years of your life so being outdoors is great but if you want to be able to be outdoors for longer you need to develop that combat chassis that you're walking around with from day to day and the advice for staying sharp and staying in fighting shape you know pun intended on that if you don't have time for jiuitsu cool Don't do jujitsu.

But find things that challenge you. And the best advice that I can give anybody for staying sharp in life is this. Never stop being a student. Never stop looking for things to learn. And maybe you're going to learn how to play chess later in life. You've never played it, but you're going to sit there and you're going to learn something new. And you're going to suck at it and you're going to work your way through it. Maybe it's a musical instrument.

I don't know. I don't necessarily have those desires or aspirations. But for some people, maybe that's exactly what it is they're looking for. do I love jujitsu? Do I think it has physical and mental benefit? I absolutely do, but I'm not here to be like a profit of jujitsu. It's been great for me. Maybe it's not great for everybody. But there are things out there that you can find that will challenge you, that will humble you and that you can never master. And if you find something and you do get to a place where it no longer humbles you and you feel like you have mastered it, awesome. Keep doing it, but find something else. That's how you stay sharp. Your brain is a muscle just like any other muscle in your body. How do you feel? You you keep it in prime shape for longevity, you exercise it. And it's the simplest way that I can say it. So yeah, it's awesome that you're spending a bunch of time outside, but do a few more things that'll allow you to do that for longer and then find shit that challenges you. It's a recipe for success. And I believe personally a well-rounded life. Question three, this one's a little bit longer. So bear with me as I read this email here and then we'll be done for the day. I'm in an interesting circumstance, and to be honest, I feel infuriated at my employer and I don't know what to do.

I am 32, married, and a veteran. The military wasn't for me, and I got out honorably and worked my way into a fairly successful career with a good salary. In March of 2021, my previous company was doing layoffs over COVID, and I was lucky enough to get my now position in the technology department of a nonprofit healthcare giant. The job is pretty great. I control my schedule. I work from home. I get to work out in the middle of the day and the salary is acceptable, let's say. It was better before inflation.

Well, fuck. What wasn't better before inflation? When my team was originally formed, there was a very big nepotism issue between our manager and her best friend who she hired to be on the team. She created a lead position for her friend, which from an experience in certifications and qualifications aspect, I towered over her. I knew it was a game and I knew that this position. was made just to give her friend a promotion. So I decided not to compete for the role,

and I would wait until I could be more strategic with my time to figure out my path. Well, 10 months later, they have now both left the company. And again, being the most senior and most qualified ETC, which I'm not sure what that is, I was given an interim lead role. In this role, I accomplished a lot. I received accolades from other leaders. I implemented some good processes. I helped build some templates and standardization, and overall, I strive to make my team better and more efficient. I was told this would be interim until 2023, but this position would be upgraded to supervisor, and it was mine done and done. I'm the only person they were remotely interested in for this slot. For my time in interim, I received a 7% interim salary raise.

And then big financial changes happened, and they had to cut something like 50. million from the department budget. I was informed this week when I asked about it that the position would just be re-evaluated in a few months. And I kind of had to pry that out of them. The underlying tone was very obviously that this is not going to happen for the foreseeable future. And for what it's worth, it's not like my senior director had a meeting with me and was man to man about it. So you had to go digging for this and that can suck. I get it. As interim, I also helped recruit an onboard or a placement team member for the girl who left and I was given interim access into the HR system so I could see the resumes.

Well, they probably didn't know, but they also gave me access to see her offer letter. Now that the position is closed, my interim salary will be going away and I'll be returning back to my previous salary and my previous life. The same person as the person I hired. Her offer letter was $14,000 a year more than I make. And once again, I have more experiences and more certifications and all of that. around August of last year they were promising big market reevalu evaluations for compensation i was given a 1.8% raise to accommodate for inflation and i assume that that's was because they evaluated my position pretty as being pretty capped out obviously that's not the case since this girl

is making a considerable amount of money more than me to be honest i feel disrespected and i feel infuriated they make a big deal about loyalty and i'm always and i'm always handed the hardest projects and the biggest fires that they just need somebody to help unfuck and I do it with a smile and I do it very well. I don't know what to do here. My salary is still okay and I do get to work out during the day and of course I work from home. Would you leave over this? Do you have any other advice? Okay. So long one for sure. And I don't think it's as simple as what you're saying. So I have so many questions. You're married.

Awesome. You're a veteran. Cool. What does your wife do for living? What type of salary does your wife bring in, if any? What does your overall financial picture look like? And I ask that meaning, do you have to have this job? Is this the anchor that is allowing your family to survive from an economic perspective?

If it is, and you're the only one working and bringing in this level of salary, then I'd say your options may be a little bit limited until you can find an off-ramp, something that you would perhaps feel more comfortable with. If it's not, I think you have quite a few more options. But either way, one thing that I am going to recommend to everybody right now is try to avoid framing situations like this or anything in your life as binary. You know, you laid out this situation and then ask, would you leave over this? As if the two questions or the two possible answers are, no, or yes. Because in my mind, there's a lot of things that you can do in between those things. And in my experience in life, it's almost never binary. So don't put yourself into that

artificial boundary. It's there's, there's so many options. Should I do A or B? Like there's, there's got to be other things in between. Do not look at life as being binary because it just absolutely isn't. And if you look at it like that and get in the habit of only looking at it like that, you're really limiting your options. And you're, and you're missing a little bit of the forest for the trees, in my opinion. So I'm going to, well, let's put it like this. Let's just go through both scenarios. If this is the only job that you have and this is the economic anchor for your family

and you don't feel like you can continue, what I would say is before you just go in and burn the place to the ground, and I mean that metaphorically, not literally, obviously, is explore other options and find out what your next is going to be before you move on. It doesn't seem like you are at any risks of your job whatsoever. It actually seems like they're seeking you out to solve some of the more difficult problems that they have. And that's a good thing. But if you want to leave, just give yourself a plan B or C or D, right?

Because we're not going to live in a binary world and work on those things and get to a place where you can go from one to the other. Because if you are the anchor for your family, you need to act accordingly. Now, if you're not necessarily the anchor for the family, what I would say is this. Don't be afraid of sitting down and having hard conversations with your leadership. if you're in a place where the organization that you work for does not have leverage over you. And by that, I mean, your salary, although it is positive and it makes an impact in your life, you can live without it. You're removing the leverage that they have over you.

And I would hope for people who feel like, you know, sitting down and having a conversation about the things that you laid out, like, well, what if they fire me? Well, if you don't, if you're not living day to day off of that money and you have some buffer, if that's the worst case scenario, well, then okay. You don't have to be a dick when you go into the room. You don't have to be confrontational. You can lay things out in a manner where they can be discussed and one side is not going to feel ambushed or pushed into a corner. And if the worst case scenario is they are unwilling to change anything so you choose to leave on your own or they fire you. like that's the worst worst case scenario, that's okay because you didn't actually need it in the first place.

So you're taking a lot of pressure off of yourself before you even go into that conversation. And I actually have found that the worst case scenario isn't generally the way that it plays itself out. There's going to be something in between. So what I would do is I would go sit down. So again, we talked about if this is the only means of financing, is for your family, like find some other options. If it's not, and you feel like you have some

roof to breathe, and you feel like they don't have the leverage over you, and you feel like you're unhappy and frustrated and infuriated using your words, not mine, then what's to be lost by sitting down and having a conversation? They gave you access to the HR system. You know, I would sit down and I would have a conversation in a non-confrontational manner as much as possible, and I would just lay this out. If it was me, sitting down and talking to my boss, knowing that, you know, worst case, I'm going to stay with the status quo, best case, I'm going to get maybe an advancement or raised or worse, worst case, I'm going to get fired. You know, it's a range of options. I would sit down and I would just

lay out exactly what you laid out to me and maybe change a little bit of the verbiage. I'd say, hey, listen, you know, this is how long I've been with this organization. And these are the things that you've asked me to do. I would leave out everything about the nepotism because it doesn't really matter. You're talking about two people that aren't at the organization anymore. talk about yourself and only the things that you've been involved with. And one of those was hiring somebody. So, you know, they're the ones who gave you access to the system. If they didn't recognize or realize what they were giving you access to, that's on them.

That's a their problem, not a your problem thing. But lay it out. Be like, hey, listen, you know, in the process, this is who I am. This is what I've been doing. This is how long I've been here. You guys asked me to help with this and gave me access to the HR system. I don't know if you realized it, but when you did so, you actually gave me access to her offer letter as well. And, you know, I've been working in this position.

It was interim. It was discussed. This was going to become permanent and it didn't. And if this is a financial issue and if you're constrained with finances, you know, I don't understand the math isn't making sense to me. If you're telling me that I can't get a raise due to financial restraints, but you're hiring somebody at a greater salary than myself, I'm really confused. And quite frankly, given how long I've been at this organization and the things that I

have done in my performance, it's frustrating. It's confusing to me. I don't understand because what you're saying and what you're doing are very divergent, right? And that's how people lose trust and integrity and not only people, but in systems. And I would ask them to explain it to you. Again, in a non-confrontational manner, you could just sit down and just lay it out, ask them, you know, what's going on here? What is, maybe don't say, hey, what's going on here? Frame it in whatever words that you would want to, but leave it with an open-ended question.

and then sit back and let them answer you. That's what I would recommend. Long before leaving, I would have that conversation. Even if this is the only means of income that your family has and you just can't tolerate this job anymore, still go have that conversation. If you're like, fuck this place, I literally can't work here anymore because I see what's going on. At least still go have this conversation and put the ball in their court and see what they do with it. because maybe you're going to get an extra $14,000 a year,

or you're going to get that permanent role that was interim. And you're going to get the raise because you took the time to bring it up and you put the ball into their court. And they're going to show you who they are when you do that. You can lay this out and say, hey, this is who I am. This is what I've done. This is what I was promised or whatever verbiage you would feel the most comfortable with. Lay it out there, put the ball on their court,

and they're going to show you exactly who they are. And then at least you can make a decision based off of better information, a more complete picture. And that's what I'd recommend. So hopefully that's helpful. But just don't look at this as binary. And you can do every version of everything in between. But at least go have the difficult conversation.

Great things come from difficult conversations. At least that's been my experience in life. A lot of people want to avoid them. And I get it because they can be hard. But don't make it harder on yourself than it has to be. That's all I got for this Friday. See you guys Monday.