Cleared Hot - Powered By BRCC - Full Auto Friday - Round 3

Episode Date: May 29, 2020

Full Auto Friday is a "rapid-fire" format of Q and A submitted by listeners.  6-8 topics from all walks of life with a 5-minute cap on all answers.  Round 2 is in the breach... Q1: 3 Things that all men should do Q2: Removed - I'll explain later... Q3: David Goggins Q4: Would I attempt to change my son's mind if they wanted to pursue joining the military and SEAL Teams. Q5: Advice for dealing with the grief associated with losing a loved one.  Q6: State and Federal Government handling of COVID - 19 Enjoy!

Okay, got the red smoke. Gun runs. North and South smoke. Okay, copy, west of the smoke. I'm looking at danger close now. Can't be cleared that. Ladies and gentlemen, here we go. Full Auto Friday, round three.

Hopefully by now everybody knows the rules. Or not the rules. It's my damn show. I don't have to make any rules. The format. That's a better word for it. So the format is rapid fire. six to eight topics.

I'm actually looking at them right now. So they're going to be six. I got my phone, my trusty phone, that I'm going to limit myself to five minutes per answer. And I try to pick different topics. So it's not repetitive. And I also try to pick topics that come up frequently. So I guess this eventually over time

could become a dossier of commonly asked questions or frequently asked questions, depending on how you want to think about it. So here we go. let us begin with the first question question one today comes from jeff kuchta and his question is what are three things you would recommend every male and in parentheses he has 18 to 50 do and why hell of a question to start the day off with here we go in thinking about my answer to this i was able to determine the three things that i would recommend but i was unable to

list them in order of what I thought was the most important. So I will give you my answer and a brief definition as to why, but perhaps the exercise for the listener would be to rank them in the order that you think is the most valuable. So here we go. I have two Fs and an L. My first F, when it comes to three things that I recommend every male do and why. And I'm actually going to include female in this because for this particular one there is growth regardless of who you are and probably what station of life my first f is fail i think it is essential for you to fall flat on your face to bloody yourself to knock your teeth out and then to get back up again i think it's important for everybody to have a massive goal something that scares them i think that they should have a desire

and then fall completely and utterly short on their execution of achieving that and learn to get up. We live in a society that is going to be more than welcome and a world for that matter that is going to be more than welcome, more than happy to kick you directly in your mouth hole when you're on the ground. They'll drill each and every one of your teeth out for you. So you have to learn to get back up. And the only way that you learn to get back up is by falling over. fail and get back up. Fail and get back up.

I look at my life. I think I have more failures than successes. It's not a matter of whether or not you're going to fail in your life. I think the biggest determining factor for most people is how they handle that failure. Learn it early. Practice it. Well, not often, but often enough to reinforce the message. So first F.

The second F is fight. I think every male needs to fight. and before I go any further, I am not talking about going out and looking for a fist fight in the street. However, I am talking about violence. I am talking about a physical and violent exchange with another adult male,

but it can be done in a controlled setting. You don't have to go seek violence in the street. If you understand and realize the value of this, there's plenty of ways that you can do it in settings that are controlled and contained with whitting participants. Go to a boxing school and throw some hand, with somebody who is trained.

Go to a judo school, a jiu-jitsu school, go practice with some wrestlers. And the point of all of this, and why I think violence is important, is that I believe most people walk through life, specifically males with a very overinflated sense of what they're capable of doing. They think they have a beast mode.

They think that when they get into a confrontation, they're going to be prepared, and they're going to flip a switch and become something that they're not. I could not disagree with that philosophy more, and it can be tested. And once you actually test this and you realize that there are levels to all of this, it rounds the edges on how you interact with other people because you're not going to run your mouth

when you realize that there's always somebody better than you out there, regardless of how good you are. There's incredible value both to mentality and the way you portray and present yourself when you come to the understanding that you have X amount and then somebody else might have why. I really think it would round the edges for males. And the earlier in life you can experience this, I believe the better. So that's two Fs. We have fail. We have fight. And maybe the last one will surprise you a little bit, but the L for me is love. I believe that everybody, this one applies to male and female, that everybody should and hopefully do find love. Love to the degree that you

forget yourself. And oftentimes I think this happens when you have kids for males. You, the first time you hold your child, you realize that the way that you have potentially looked at the world might have been a little bit off. Perhaps it was a little bit more self-centered. And now you realize that you love something that you're holding in your hand that's the size of this Kilcliff can. You love it more than you could ever love yourself. And it redefines for you that optic of what it means to care for something or somebody beyond yourself. And I hope somebody and everybody finds that in a significant other or an ideology or a, you know, patriotism for their country. It doesn't matter. Find something that you love more than you love yourself. Because in that journey, or once you find

that love, you're going to encounter the other two Fs. You're going to have failure because you're going to have to fight for it and you're going to fight. I just said it. You have failure and you'll have the ability to fight. And that's all I have on the first one. That was, damn it, five minute in one second. Very good question, Jeff. Fail, fight, fall in love. Question number three.

Slightly shifting gears. Prepare yourself. We're not going to be talking about DILTOs. I get a version of this question all the time. And I'm going to do my best to explain this in broad. terms and you'll understand why I don't get into specifics. And perhaps this is one that people would try to turn into some sound bite. But what I recommend is you have to listen to this in totality and I think it will make more

sense. The question comes from Sageman 23. What's the story with you and Goggins? The questions that I get around this are, will you ever have David Goggins on your podcast? I get tagged with Goggins stuff all the time. Andy get Goggins on your podcast. this, that or the other.

To start with, there is no story with me and Dave. We have never worked directly with each other, but to answer people's questions when it comes to having them on the podcast or will I ever have them on the podcast, the answer is no. For the following reasons, as, what's the best way to describe this? I have personally, and this is only me and how I feel, I have extreme criticism of the way that Dave has portrayed his military career and his time in service, whether it be the schools that he attended or his experience overseas. And that is as narrow as I'm going to go with that because the criticism that I have is only valid in the SEAL community.

and it would only make sense when talking to other seals. There are, there is, there are nuance involved in that career path. And the things that I have to say would resonate incredibly well with somebody from that world. And I want to keep it at that. And the reason for it is this. I have that criticism of that portrayal. But I look at what Dave is doing now. And he has a massive platform.

And regardless of how I may feel about it, not his platform, but the things that I spoke about, I see him in front of millions of people motivating them, inspiring them, getting them to do things that they thought they were never capable of doing. And how could I possibly have any criticism of that? The only thing I have for that, for people being inspired, regardless of the route that you find your inspiration, is respect.

And I definitely respect him for what he is doing. Again, I would, in a personal conversation with him, I would have some criticisms of some of the vernacular that he uses, but that's not what we're talking about. So I have nothing but respect for the platform that he has built. And the reality is nothing that he or I did in the SEAL teams matters anymore. What he is doing now, in my opinion, is so much more impactful than anything that he did while he was wearing a uniform or had a trident on his chest. His platform is massive.

His audience is massive. And he's inspiring them to do things that are impactful and positive in their life. And for that, I have nothing but respect and I applaud him for what he is doing. But I have a choice, just like I tell people, that they always have a choice. And I choose, for what, let's talk about it like this. One, he doesn't need my platform. His platform is exponentially larger than mine. And two, I don't think he would come on anyway.

And that's totally his choice. So although I am not going to extend an invite, and if he were to ask, I would say no. I am also not going to do anything to prevent or prohibit him from doing what it is that he is doing. I would give the guy a high five and say congratulations on what you have built, but I am not going to support him as an individual on my platform, however small or big it is. And that's the best way that I can describe it. It's, I have, and I hope that people don't take that as something that is negative.

It's, it's not. I don't personally follow him, but when people ask me about him, I have nothing negative to say. I have only positive things to say about people who are continuing on with their life and going out and doing amazing things themselves, but also inspiring other people to do amazing things. It's the seal stuff doesn't matter, but it's why I make the decision or made the decision that I made. And hopefully that makes sense to people and they don't take it as a negative because it's not. meant to be a negative. I have no hatred or malicious intent towards him. Well, I was going to say or towards anybody, but I do. I have malicious intent towards some people. He's not one of them. 445. That's not bad. Which question is this? This is question number four. And I hate, god damn it.

Usernames like this, get me. B-H-A-V-S-V-I. I don't know how to say that. Behavsvi? Yeah, that's what it is. I'll put it up on YouTube so people can read it themselves. his question is though would you push your sons to join the teams and i'll go with that wider and just say the military in general if they already had a desire to join would you support them or attempt to change their course of direction so if for fans of the podcast or people who have heard me on other podcast i have talked about my own journey into the navy and very briefly i come from a military family on both sides of the house army on my mom's side both her mother and father her mother was in the Navy first, then the army.

And then on my dad's side, my father was in the Navy, his father's father was in the Navy, his father's brother was in the Navy. So the military was not a foreign concept to my family. And it's not a foreign concept to my children, of which I have two boys, 16 and 14, and my daughter turns 12 a week from today, actually. My dad's experience with Viyadam was not awesome,

and he's not alone in that, obviously. It's one of the tragedies of how we've treated veterans of that particular war, but that's a topic for a different, you know, that's an answer for a different topic. Getting back to the question, because I came from a military family, I don't think that it was in my parents, you know, they wouldn't stay up at night talking about how much they wanted me to join the military. I suspect that they talked about it in terms of they wanted me to find something that was valuable to me, that was impactful to me, that was inspirational to me.

And for me, that happened to be the military. And I brought a recruiting paper home, an enlistment paperwork home with a Navy recruiter when I was still 17, a junior in high school. And my mom and dad sat at the table and they needed to sign for me because I was still a minor. And both of them signed on the dotted line without ever once attempting to change my desire,

not even a degree of the heading of what I thought I was heading down, did my parents try to steer me in a different direction? And my dad was not a seal, but he worked peripherally and with seals in Vietnam. So he had an understanding of the difficulty of that path. Never once, not a single time did they try to change my mind. And when I look at a question like this, I feel like I am obligated and the best way that I can honor my parents and what they did for me is to pass that philosophy on to my kids. I don't care what my kids want to do. The things that I want for my kids is that I want them to be healthy.

And I want them to be happy. And I'm not going to define happy for them. And I hope that they find something that they enjoy and that they, in the course of executing their job, whatever it may be, it enriches their life. So I have talked to my kids about my time in the military. but probably less so than most people would believe. It's not a topic of conversation that comes up often.

I will answer any questions that they have at any time, but it's not something that I bring up and just try to overload them with in a desire to shape their course. None of my kids have expressed a desire outwardly to join the military, and I'm completely fine with that. And if they expressed a desire to join,

I would absolutely support them. I would not try to change the course of their direction. But what I would do, depending on the path they wanted to go. If my son said they wanted to go into the SEAL teams, I would do everything that I could to make sure that they went in as physically and mentally as prepared as possible. On the physical side, they don't need me for that. They have an internet connection and the same devices that I have

and they can look up the standards that are readily available on the internet. on the mental side of the house, the biggest thing that I could probably do for them is to educate them on what it is they are about to experience when it comes to the challenge, the types of evolutions, perhaps talk with them at a deeper level about resiliency and how they set their goals and keeping their world small as opposed to letting it be big. And I do these things. I absolutely have these conversations with all of my kids, but I would do it at a much more targeted level specific to the challenge that they were getting ready to face. And then I would hug them, give them a kiss goodbye.

They'll get back in a car, cry my eyes out, I'm sure, and allow them to experience the journey on their own. You know, the teams is an interesting one because there are legacy families there. There are sons that come in after fathers. And some of those fathers have amazing reputations. And I just have viewed it as very difficult oftentimes. for that next generation to live up to this standard that their father had created for them. And I'm not, and I don't say that with the attempt to change anybody's mind or talk anybody

out of it. But it's an interesting dynamic. And not all the legacy families are successful. And that's a tough one as well, a tough nut to crack between a father and son. But hopefully it would never be something that split anybody apart. Perhaps it would be something that actually could bring. them closer together. But I would have nothing but support.

I would not attempt to change their course or direction for the reasons that I just said. Moving on. I've got two left. I'm trying to figure out which one of these two I want to end with. I'm going to end with the COVID one. I'll talk a little bit about COVID at the end. Spoiler alert.

I don't know shit other than my own experience with this. I'm not a doctor. So we'll go with Jason Kiri. His question. have won and I apologize if you have already answered this. I lost my mom in parentheses hero to cancer a few years ago and the anniversary is coming up. What advice would you give to someone dealing with grief of losing a loved one in a traumatic way? This is a tough question for me.

And it's a tough question for me because I also lost my mom to cancer and if there was anything that I could change in my life. If I really had to think back and I only get to choose one thing, I think I would choose to change how our last interaction went. And it's been very difficult for me to work my way through ever since then. You know, losing a loved one, I don't know if it's ever not traumatic. Even in, you know, if they pass comfortably in old age, it's still traumatic to lose that person. So, you know, losing a loved one is very difficult.

for myself, my mom was diagnosed with cancer again about two weeks before I went overseas in 2010. And when I hugged her leaving the house that morning, I had the thought in my head that I may not see her again. And that was, you know, I made it four blocks down the road before I had to pull over and, you know, collect myself after crying in control of me for probably 20, 30 minutes. let alone, you know, saying goodbye to my kids and my wife at the time. And it's, it's rough. I came back early because I received a Red Cross message while I was overseas. My mother was fighting cancer for the second time and going through chemotherapy. And I haven't been through chemotherapy myself, but everybody I've talked to who has and those that are peripheral to those that are going through it.

It's a bitch. And I don't want to speak for my mom, but I feel like she got to. a place where she realized that either the cancer was going to kill her or the treatment was going to kill her. And she chose to go out on her terms comfortably, as opposed to being destroyed from the inside out by the shit that she was putting in her veins in an attempt to beat the cancer. So I got a red cross message and began my journey back home and had very little time with my mother before she passed. I was not with her when she died. Fortunately, my sister and my dad were. The last thing that my mother said to me was, please hand me the garbage bag. I had given her a hug

and I didn't know what to say. I was getting ready to drive back to San Diego with my brother-in-law, and I just wanted to tell her that I loved her and I gave her a hug and she sat up and because of the degeneration of her body, you know, the only thing she could get out was, you know, can you hand me the garbage can. She felt like she was going to throw up into it. And those were the last words between my mom and I. And it sucked. I wish I had said so much more. Which brings me to advice to somebody dealing with grief. The only advice I can give you, and I am not an expert on this.

So maybe that's the starting point. Maybe the best advice I could give you is if you are dealing with this or struggling with this, go find somebody who is an expert. Go find a professional. There's plenty out there. And I don't know if that would be a psychiatrist or a psychologist, but it'd be worth your time to go and talk to somebody. But beyond that, deal with the grief. That's my advice, is address it head on and don't push it away. When I came back from overseas, I was in a very black and white head space. I killed three people. The day that I got, got on the helicopter to go to Kandahar to start my flight back to the United States.

And I had been overseas for about eight months at that time making decisions about life and death. And it's amazing overseas how everything can get reduced into very binary decisions, in my experience, at least. And it takes some time to unwind that when you get home. And I was not in the headspace to be able to be the son that I wish I could have been when my mom died. And it's something that I'll regret for the rest of my life. And it's something that I'm personally trying to deal with and work through. But that's the key.

You have to deal with it and work through it. I don't think it's ever going to be easy. I don't think it'll ever be easy for me. And I don't think it's ever easy for anybody who loses a loved one. But I think it gets easier the more often that you can confront it. Don't avoid the anniversary. And maybe it's a, you're going to have some ugly cry, right? maybe you need a glass of Chardonnay and, you know, put some ice in it, obviously, I'm not a psychopath,

and sit there and cry your eyes out, whatever it may be, or celebrate her life this year, if you feel like doing it, I just don't think there's a wrong answer. I think the only thing wrong is avoiding it and putting it into a corner because it's not going to turn into something that you are going to unwrap later on in your life, and it's going to be amazing. I think it's always going to be challenging. and I think the best way to deal with it is to constantly and consistently challenge yourself with confronting it. And that's what I'm trying to do in my own way.

Not perfect by any stretch, but that is what I would recommend to anybody who is in this situation. Final question for Full Auto Friday round three. I hit the start button early. This comes from Nick underscore L.A. underscore. What are your thoughts on the state and federal government's handling of the pandemic? Do you think we are cowering as a society by trading our freedom for safety? Or do you think that these state and local orders are really for the greater good? I think we are all waiting to hear your take on this issue and can you be my dad?

No, I can't be your dad. And I hope that people are not waiting for my take on this issue because I'm a fucking moron. I have some deeply held beliefs, but most often than not. I am in a state where I try to be a sponge and absorb information. State and federal government's handling of the pandemic. I personally think, and I feel like I've fallen to the majority here, that the handling at a state and federal level appears to be something that could be described as a dumpster fire. And I wish it wasn't like that, but I do believe that people were trying to do the best that they could,

with the information they had at the time. I'm not a conspiracy theorist. I would say, and I do believe that there were some overreaches, for sure, this conversation about freedom or safety. But that conversation should extend well beyond this pandemic and should go back to the days of the Patriot Act in a true re-examination of what we have given up as individuals when it comes to privacy and freedoms for our safety.

safety and whether or not we are actually more safe or we are just less free, different topic. I do believe, like I said, you know, do I think that these state and local orders are really for the greater good? I do believe that that was the intent, but these things are being executed and this guidance is being given by human beings and they are inherently flawed. I think the biggest mistake personally that was made was people in charge and people in power, not stepping up and saying, we. don't know. I think if there had been more honesty in our uncertainty, some of the measures

probably would have been easier to adopt. And that's hard to do. And maybe that would have given people less faith in their leaders. I don't know. I mean, it's pretty obvious when people are changing their story as the wind shifts that they don't know what's going on. I don't think there is anything lost by saying, hey, at this moment, this is the best information that we have. We're trying to do the best that we possibly can. And if the information changes, or if we have an update, we're going to give it to you. And we're trying to make these decisions with your best interest in mind. You know, the government, people think that the government is designed to protect them. And I'm sorry, they're not capable of doing it, in my opinion. It's a massive

bureaucracy, which is slow to move. It's flawed, especially because it's full of people who are also inherently flawed. Some of them are certainly there for their own gain. I do believe, I want to believe that most people who enter into public service are doing it exactly for that to serve the public. Smarter people than me will have to figure that out. But this has been a dumpster fire. And I was having this conversation today. I'm curious. what 12 months from now, when we look in the rear view mirror, what is this going to look like? And my fear is that because the mathematical models that they first put in front of us were incredibly flawed because, you know, the number of data points were small.

And as things changed, they have adopted those models or adapted those models and things are looking better and better and better from a mortality perspective. And it sucks if you fall into the statistic of somebody who has died or is going to die. I'm not saying I want that at all, but in comparison to what it looked like at the very beginning, I think it's going to be that we're going to be all right. My concern is, though, that people were pressed more than they ever have been in their life, and they're probably feeling like they were pressed for little to no reason. My fear being that when COVID-21 comes around or COVID-22 and that something substantially

worse than this appears and the same type of guidance comes out, that people were going to to give it the middle finger. And they'll say, well, the last time you told me this, that's not the way that it played out. So there could be a level of distrust, I guess, is what I'm getting to. And if it's as bad as they would have said it was going to be, that's a problem for everybody. And that's my biggest concern. So I think the state and federal government are doing the best that they can. But I don't rely on the state and federal government for my safety and security.

That's my personal choice. I just don't believe that the government is nimble enough or designed to do that. I take that preparation, the onus for that, that's on my shoulders, not theirs. And I hope they're doing things for the greater good. It only time will tell. So like I said, 12 months from now, be an interesting look in the rear view mirror. Four minutes, 53 seconds. That's it.

Six questions. Just over half an hour. It's perfect for what I wanted to be for a Friday episode. Hope you enjoy it. you. Why shall be Monday? I'm not going to see any of you. I don't know why I say that.

I'm not going to see any of you. Monday's episode will be out with Brian Callan. And I'll be back for fallout of Friday round four next week.