Cleared Hot - Powered By BRCC - Full Auto Friday - Round 32 with Brian Bishop

Episode Date: December 18, 2020

Probationary Full Auto Friday co-host Brian Bishop returns for his monthly episode. Questions asked by the audience and answered with a five-minute time cap. 1. My fiance keeps telling me if I get COVID and die it's my fault 2. Suicide. Could I have done more 3. Personal responsibility and asking for help 4. You have 30 minutes to prep for an EMP blast, what are your moves Enjoy

What's going on, ladies and gentlemen? It's almost the weekend. Just one quick episode of Fall Out of Friday, and you can be off and on your way. Today's episode is brought to you by Christensen Arms, and you may not have heard of them. But if you're in the firearms space, if you are a firearms aficionado or fan or end user, and you've seen carbon fiber barrels coming into the, fold, the new soup de jour, if you will, that is actually Christensen Arms original claim to fame. They are the original creators of the carbon fiber rifle bear. Bear, bear role. They are the makers of the lightest and most accurate rifles in the industry. And I hunted with them for the 2020 season. Life threw me a little variable, jacked up my arm a little bit, couldn't shoot my bow. So thinking about it, I was like, you know what? I am going to actually do some hunting, but I'm going to change the game up.

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That's the business side of the house. We're all done. Today, co-host, Brian Bishop, if you listen to the podcast, you know who he is. And as we had talked about before, I'm going to have him come on once per month. We're going to do a full auto Friday. I had four different questions from the listeners. If you want to submit a question, feel free to do so via the podcast website. Just click on the button.

contact me or you can send it to me through social media, whatever you choose to do. If we pick it, well, we're going to read the question, try to limit ourselves to a five-minute answer, and then that's it. So, full out of Friday with co-host, Brian Bishop. Enjoy. I'm looking at danger close now. We ready? Welcome to another edition of Fuckface Friday.

Yeah. Fuck show Friday? Yeah. Could be. Both. I mean, you are a fuck face. And this show could be a fuck show. Warning. Spoiler alert, if you have children in the car, perhaps... Actually, it's too late. We should have opened with that as opposed to just going hard on

the paint. But it's kind of what we do. It's what we're known for. Yeah. We should explain to people that, uh, I didn't fire you. It was like we were going to do one per month. I think people thought you were going to show up every... I don't know, actually, I don't know what people thought. I thought we were clear. Apparently we were not. I thought we were very clear on the rules of engagement. I thought it was good. Yeah. I don't know, but we're back.

I got some interesting DMs, as I know you did as well. Oh, apparently now you're the owner of the cleared hot podcast. Oh, cool. Awesome. I mean, you're the official founder of Black Rifle Coffee, so it's only fitting, I guess, that I'm the founder of the Clearned Hot podcast. I suppose. How's Montana treating you?

Fucking awesome. Loving it? I love it, yeah. When's your son come? for the holidays um i just got word that i'm gonna be able to go down to billings and grab him in friday i think so billings what is he doing there oh well we have to meet halfway you should meet one mile closer to you right just one just one mile do the exact math and be like i can only make it to this uh road marker yes this particular intersection at this road yeah right here don't live your life but like me people

and don't listen to the advice that i give i think that's fantastic Fantastic advice. Listen, man, I'm going to point in my life where I'll take small victories where I can get that. Every single one. Oh, shit. All right. Four questions for today. We're going to get people kicked off into their weekend.

You know the format. Make sure everything. Oh, man, look how good you look over there. Yep, that's handsome ginger devil right there. The only way it could look better is if I was sitting in that chair. I mean, not really, but it's okay. All right, here we go. We're going to keep all of these anonymous.

mostly because some people really get worried when they reach out that I'm going to read their name. And I've actually covered this because a couple of people have reached out to me over Proton Mail, made an attempt to obscure their identity. And then other people have reached out saying Proton Mail is just more of a secure network encryption. But also then those same people that I was talking about hit me up again. They're like, yeah, I was using that because I didn't want you to know who I actually. actually was because they would have gotten in trouble if they were, I guess, found out for expressing their true feelings on a topic, which sucks.

Yeah, I mean. But I understand it, depending on the community. I think a lot of them, it's a very shared mindset. It's either the shared mindset way or the highway. So all these are just going to be anonymous. Unless somebody has a burning desire to have me use their name, I'm assuming they can remember the question that they wrote in. And from here on out, they'll just all be anonymous.

Solves the problem, right? Right. So don't worry about reaching out people. I'm not going to burn you to the ground. We're not going to dox anybody. Correct. And I also would like to not be doxed in return. Yeah.

I mean, you might like that. It's up to you. No, I don't want anybody to know where I live. Okay, here we go. Hello, sir. I recently tested positive for COVID. Just to give you a quick rundown on my experience, started experiencing a slight cough on Wednesday of last week

and really didn't think much of it. I mentioned it to my fiancé, and she said not to worry that maybe it was just a cold, the cold weather was causing it. Three days later on Saturday night, the cough got worse, and I decided to get tested. Both my fiancé and I took the test, and I came back positive, she came back negative. But now a day does not go by that she doesn't make me feel like shit because I tested positive and goes on about how if she gets the virus and dies, I'm going to be guilty of it.

She makes me feel as if I committed a crime and like a piece of shit. We got into huge argument over all of this, and now she's not talking to me. So I guess that solves the problem of her talking shit to me, but you can really feel the tension around the house. My question is how to go about possibly getting through to her or trying to make her understand that what is done is done and that we should move forward.

Hope that all makes sense. Fucker, break up with her and kick her out. out. Actually, as I was reading this, I thought that it was probably going to be your answer, but I feel like this one, just because you enjoy a good spicy DM, I figured this would tee it up nicely. Perfect. Fucking perfect. I think I talked about Monday. So I tested positive for COVID a couple weeks ago, kind of similar to this. And I'm very cautious when I talk about my experience. It's only my experience. I believe it's real. Take the precautions. And I'm not going to say it was horrible or I'm not going to say it was easy because I don't want anybody to think that what I

experienced they should expect. Like that's super concerning to me that people would not realize that I'm talking about only my experience. So I will point that out. Can we openly talk about your experience? Yeah. But again, my experience, if I, and I think I said this, it might have been Monday. It was last Friday when I talked about it. If I had not been constantly hearing about COVID in the news, I would not have gotten tested. I got tested when I lost my sense of smell and taste. Up until that point, though, that actually occurred after I had the body aches, and I would not have gone in.

I have had substantially worse body aches when I was sick up in Canada with Dudley and from some food poisoning before. So it was not something that I found personally to be outside of what I have normally experienced. Plus, it was probably tough to differentiate because, one, it is cold and flu season, so there is that. Correct. And had I not heard that the most common. symptom or one of the most common symptoms was the taste and smell, I wouldn't have gotten tested. And I would have gone on about my normal daily life.

But again, that's my experience. And I do believe that a lot of the outcome is due to what you have going into it, the health and wellness going into it. Well, incorrect. And also, you know, doing jiu-jitsu as much as you do, I'm sure you're never sore. I'm sure you never hurt a little bit. I can't think of a day that I'm not sore.

Right. Or where it feels great to go like this, to go like this. Maybe a grip a little bit too hard, but you're just like, God, damn it, fist. But I went into it active. I went into it healthy with a relatively good diet, relatively good rest and recovery. And, you know, I had the experience that I had. But that's no guarantee.

It was, I mean, I don't know how to describe it in a way that people aren't going to look at and try to take pot shots at. It's real, for sure. if you're in a high risk category or group, I would take every and all precaution. I wouldn't have a laissez-faire attitude about it. But if I could give everybody on earth what I had and we could get done with this bullshit and move on, I would do it instantaneously. Right. So, you know, Main Street Calispell could stop losing buildings that are generationally passed down as opposed to the North End of Calispell with the Home Depot, the lows, the Target, the Walmart.

That are doing just fun. No, Banner Years. Yeah. Or Amazon. whose stock is absolutely through the roof. Correct. Wow, what else did you want to talk about? It seems like.

I mean, I wasn't going to throw down. I wasn't going to come in here and be like, so, first thing out of the gate, let's talk about your COVID experience. Yeah. It was what it was. I mean, I know what it was because I had breakfast with you. Guess what? Negative. Other people in our circle had breakfast with you.

Negative. I don't think I was really showing symptoms up until that point. And I, not a doctor, spoiler alert for people, but I think you're at the most contagious when you are showing symptoms, but then also that viral load, like how much time we spent in super close proximity. Like we were farther away at breakfast than we were right now. Right. I mean, I don't think, I think the odds of you, had I known that I was going to test positive

within 24 hours, obviously I wouldn't have gone to breakfast. I didn't know that. I was feeling fine. But yeah, it's, I don't. I don't think it is as easy to transmit as people may be concerned with. Yeah, that was the point that I was getting at. Yeah. Is that you and I spent several, we spent some time in close proximity between Thanksgiving

and then the days after and then that breakfast. So I had no issue. Yeah. So, no, I don't think anybody else did. Did anybody else have any issues? No. Evan or Trevor, no, they're good to go. But that doesn't answer this poor man's question.

So your answer is kick to the curb, be done with it. I am the last person to talk about relationship advice with. I am single for obvious reasons. I don't. Well, how about this? How do we know that he didn't take every single precaution? If you had tested positive, it wouldn't be because what would have been my fault if you had caught it for me, but it wouldn't have been intentional on my part.

As soon as we found out positive, boom, quarantine for two weeks, stayed away, all symptoms gone. Like, we did everything that was recommended. But I would say to this, you know, this individual, perhaps have a conversation with your significant other currently. Maybe, who knows, by the time this email is answered. Talk about, you know, the preventative measures that you took. I know a lot of people who have taken every possible preventative measure and have still tested positive and had to go through the experience. So I don't understand how that would make it this individual's fault if his fiance and then in fact test a positive and to say that if she dies you're going to be guilty of it that's just a dickface move it's fucked it's super fucked

I mean classic it's classic woman tactics though let's get the guilt sword out and swing it around and make you feel bad about something that probably was very clear yes that men are capable of that too all right sure there's some basic beta motherfuckers out there who swing the guilt sword around yes So let's just both sides of the aisle on that way. Okay. I would sit down and talk with this woman and be like, what do you know, explain what you did, how you feel about this? And at some point, they're going to have to, they're going to have to let it go because what if they go out into the real world outside of your COVID bubble and pick it up from somebody else? Are they going to lord that over their head?

Or is that, are you just the lucky recipient of this lording over? I think we should look at some, like, maybe dive a little deeper into the analytics before we hand out advice in this. regard, like, how long have you been together? How serious is the relationship? How long have you lived together? Like, let's... Well, it sounds like they're married based off of the level of shit going back and forth. I mean, that could be the case. I mean, if you're married, then yes, of course, sit down and work it out. But if you've like got a human that, and I've been guilty of this in the past of not doing a proper vetting process, vetting and selection process and have cannonballed into the pool only to find out that it was empty and filled with cigarette butts and

hyperdermic needles and broken beer bottles at the bottom. And you have to sometimes in those situations, climb back out of the pool, pull the hypodermic needle out of your elbow and continue on with life. So I think that's good advice. A lot of what I hear in this from this individual is we'll call it a red flag alert. They're going off. I mean, that's that's a tough situation. It is a tough situation. Look at the long term. look at the individual who you want to spend the rest of your life with, potentially if this has the potential for that. And yeah, I can't personally imagine ever saying something like, Brian, if I die of this, it's your fault. That's just incredibly super fucked. And you're my friend,

so I say super fucked up things to you? All the time. But that's even beyond for me, I would be like, if I die, this is on your shoulders. Actually, I probably would say that, but only if I was on my deathbed. And I knew I was going to die. So it would have an impact. Yeah. But this is not something I would say to somebody. So, yeah, I'm going to say, take a holistic look at that relationship. Yes. Re-evaluate.

Recess. I mean, yes, you may be getting a good example of what's to come if other hardships befall you. So, yeah. You want a partner that's good and sturdy. So you don't want somebody that's going to crumble under hardship. Want a good partner, one that's going to be supportive. I would say in this situation. Indicative in the term.

partner. Correct. And if, I mean, we may not know everything here in this situation. Obviously, we've just got a email to go off of. But I mean, I could see maybe she's having this reaction if maybe he knowingly went out and hung out with people that had COVID or they, they were like, I'm sick and I don't feel good. And he threw caution to the wind, if you will. Yeah, he threw caution to the wind. Then maybe I could see her having a much stronger position to swing the guilt sword around. maybe chop off a finger or two, but which it sounds like is what's happening. But it has to go back in the rock at some point.

Yes. So, sword and the stone. Yes. Yeah, it's a tough one. I would say, reevaluate your relationship choices.

If you can't sit down, if you're not married and you haven't been together that long, maybe just been living together for a while. Oh, yeah, he called her his fiancee, so they're not married.

Oh, he did. We're an idiot. It's directly in front of me. Okay. Yeah. I mean, it's a lot of information to take in. So it's not too late.

It's not too late. It's not too late. I agree with you. Moving on to a lighter topic, suicide. Don't laugh about suicide. Fucking yes, it is. Serious shit. I recently lost my brother-in-law to suicide.

He was very close to my wife, children, and I. He was the most bubbly and bright person I have ever met. He could walk into any room and within five minutes have everyone smiling and laughing. This is not the first time I've had suicide. touch my life, life as I've had guys from my old unit in the army, and an uncle take their lives, but never someone this close. I am struggling with it hard. What I'm most struggling with is how dark and demonized it must have been in his mind when his outward personality was so bright. Everyone, including myself, has always talked about how selfish suicide is and about how it

leaves a trail of pain. While I agree with these statements, it brings up a question in my mind. How selfish is it of us to expect them to continue living in pain every day rather than us living with the pain of losing them? Also, do you have any advice for those of us who may be struggling with the ideas that we could have slash should have done more to help? I mean, you did. You picked some good ones today. I did. Some tough ones. I picked this one because of my buddy Dave and the experience I recently had with him because I personally, every day, have been.

been struggling with the thought of could have, should have. And also, I have thought a lot about because I talked about Dave and the decision that he made to end his life. And I had a couple people reach out from the other side of the coin, from the person who makes that decision, and basically say the same thing. Like, how much pain do you expect somebody to live with? Where is that balance where it's too much for them? And it's not a selfish choice of them trying to push it on to you. It's, you know what I mean? Like, how much can a person actually tolerate? And I don't have the answer for that. Um, which is why I chose this question. Yeah. I mean, it's a tough situation. Um, yeah, you just, it's, uh, it, there was no, there was no veteran or military

affiliation in the, I don't think so with this individual. This, the person writing the email based on saying the old army unit, um, is a veteran, but I don't think so with this individual that took their life. Just, um, yeah so non-service-related suicide yeah i mean i've i've had similar experiences where people that i really loved and cared about that i was really close with that i served with um you know took their lives and you know similar to what you just experienced and it it was really hard especially because i was in one situation i was the last person to talk to him his mom contacted me and was like he's really fucked up i don't know what to do with him like he he's just gone really really

far down the rabbit hole and i don't know what to do and he won't communicate with anybody, he won't talk to anybody. Was he expressing any suicidal ideations? I don't think he had mentioned anything, you know, overtly saying, oh, I'm going to kill myself. I don't think he said that. I think she just, as his mom recognized, he was going down a dark path. And, you know, it was a series of events, you know, where he had, like, lost his job

because he was drinking too much. And then his girl left him. And then he was just at home by himself. And I recognized all of those things and that it was a problem. And then I took it super serious when his mom called me and I got a hold of him. And I was like, hey, man, like, I'm here for you, whatever you need. I was like, I'll pack up my shit. I'll move to your house right now.

Like just say the word. Say the word right now and I'll pack up all my stuff and I'll come to your house. And he was like, did the same thing that we're all guilty of. No, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. Which is why when I'm talking to my friends nowadays if they're close friends that have

served in the military, I'm like, are you Ranger good or are you really good? Meaning, are you giving me the three bags full ready to march? Regardless of how many bags are full? Right. Answer, or are you as a human good? And he gave me the whole, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm fine. And I was like, don't, are you, are you planning on hurting yourself? And he was like, no, I have no plans to do that. And, you know, I badgered him for a good 45 minutes on the phone and did everything I could to try and talk him into, you know, letting me come stay at his house. And he waved me off. And then two days later, I was working and his mom called me and he was dead. She found him. She didn't hear from him. She went over to the house to

check on him. He was hanging from a dog leash in his garage. Fuck. And I was the last one to talk to him. Do you think that there is anything else that you could have done or said? And I asked that because that's the question. Dave and I had drifted apart over the years as it happens. I think more so with guys. And it actually really bums me out how far I have drifted from a lot of the guys that I used to work with. But at the same time, I also think it's natural that that happens because, you know, we got back together at the funeral.

It's like guys in finance, guys working for the age. It's like, holy shit, man. They're living their life. I'm living my life. But I struggle to understand. understand how much consistent agony he must have been in to make that decision. And once he made it, I'm curious as to if there is anything that anybody could have done. The answer to that is no, because I've been on this journey myself. And you reach a point where when pain is manageable,

you're like, I'm good. I'm to suck it up. I can deal with it. It is selfish for me to do that. And when the pain is at that manageable stage, you can fend it off. But then something may happen or something may shift or change. Personally, you know, I think that series of events of him losing his job, his girl leaving him. And then alcohol is not a good combination with that. And then he was drinking enough to kill a kindergarten class of whiskey every night. I think he was pretty much drinking a fifth almost every night to himself. So varsity effort.

I mean, his mom sent me pictures of the, of the, of the, bottles that were... Liquor store? Yeah, it was ridiculous. But you get to a certain point where you don't, the selfishness of the act doesn't even, you're in so much pain and you're just ready for things to be over that you don't even... Yeah, you're not externalizing that. Yeah, you don't, you don't even, you don't even bother to start, you don't even bother to think, especially if substances are involved, you don't bother to think alcohol mainly, you don't bother to think of any of the other consequences. You don't, you just, you just don't. You just get to that place where enough's enough. And luckily, my, my circumstances, I was able to navigate out of it.

And then I realized after navigating out of that, did you navigate out of it by yourself, or did you have external help? Oh, no. I had a good friend of mine that I went to high school with that we've, you know, he's my only friend that I grew up with that has stayed in my inner circle that I've stayed in contact with and that he was there, actually two good friends of mine, they were there to basically be the safety net for me when I slammed into that brick wall

and I knew, you know, and they did the things that, you know, I, you know, question myself that I should have done in that situation when I got, when I had him on the phone, you know, I've had to deal with a little bit

of the survivor guilt shit where you second guess the shit out of yourself on something and you're like, damn, maybe I should have just got on the plane and just gone on there and just like not get him, giving him options and just been like, okay, dude, I'm here. Let's clean up your house. Let's open up the drapes. Let's throw all this away. Let's stop drinking. Let's go out in the garage and do

a thousand burpees until you feel better. And I'll just continue, I'll take all your guns away and put them in my room. And I will continue to watch you like a hawk until we, I feel like we've navigated out of the danger zone, which is what I had for, you know, had happened for me. Like people, you know, two guys in my inner circle ran to my, ran to my aid and helped me and and basically navigated me through that, that rough water. And then once I got on the other side of that, at least from my own personal experience and journey, I realized that, you know,

then I started thinking about the, you know, my son standing over my casket at the funeral. And the legacy that you leave behind for the people that, you know, that you take your own life, you know, that legacy that gets left behind for them, that curse. Like they have to live with that. And the guilt and the pain and the questions why.

I mean, that's the biggest thing, too, is like, if they don't leave a note or it's just, you know, they're fine one minute, which I've had another, I had another guy that I was close with that I served with. I mean, not as, not as close, but he was the same situation. Like, we served together. We were super tight when we were serving together. And then we drifted apart. And he gave no warning at all. Like, wasn't depressed. Didn't have a breakup. No note. No note. No nothing. Yeah, you'll be haunted with wise for the rest of your life. Yeah. And that's why I can see. little bit of both sides, you know, to the question we're saying, how selfish is it of us to expect them to continue living? I can feel both sides of that. I mean, I can't even understand, I mean, I can to a degree, the pain that leads towards that decision. Nobody wants to live with that. And I can understand the pain of being left behind and all those whys. I think it's an, I don't think this is an equation that balances itself. I think it's unfair on both sides. You know, I mean, I'm, who am I to tell somebody, hey, you have to wake up and live your worst day every single day of your life that seems like no end?

I mean, who am I to say that? Correct. And then who are they to leave me with, you know what I mean, with the why? So I don't think there's a good answer for that. What advice would you give, though? Because we both have been through this with people who are struggling with, hey, I could have or should have done more. What advice would you give to somebody who is now looking at it in the rear of you mirror

and struggling to move forward? Connection and just pay attention. And that's the thing that sucks about this COVID situation is the two things that I think really helped me through it. We're human connection, like being there with somebody, having them hold me accountable for my actions like, hey, you're not going to sleep until two o'clock today. You're going to get the fuck up. We're going to go on a little two mile run or we're going to go to the gym or we're going to go, fuck, we're just going to go for a walk in the park, you know, holding me accountable, watching me carefully, connecting with me in a meaningful way and then exercise.

And now we're in a situation with like what's going on with COVID where people are, you know, lock down, they're losing their jobs. Removed from the connection. They're removed from human connection. They're removed from working out because gyms are closed down. So it's, yeah, it's no wonder the suicide rate right now is skyrocketing. Yeah.

And I think it would be a while for that to turn itself around. Because just because the gyms, let's say the gyms open back up wherever you are, it's not like some panacea where it's like problem solved. It's going to take habits, you know, bad habits gain momentum, just like good habits do. Yes, they do. And for some reason, they seem to have more gravity. than good habits.

Yeah. Almost impossible to work your way out of. Yeah, I would say the same thing. I mean... Pay attention to the people around you. Yeah, and you can't change the past. This is one thing that I've been working my way through personally with just Dave's situation is there's nothing I can do.

I had no idea the amount of pain that he was in. Of course, looking backwards, I guess you could put together dots that makes sense but didn't in the moment. But that's only because of the action that he took. If he hadn't taken that action, I don't know if I could have retroactively looked at it. But use it as a learning point. I mean, what else can you do with it, right? Pay attention to the things that you may recognize now that you didn't.

And if you realize that you would want to be in better contact with people you might have drifted from or you want to be able to be there for them, you know, take the effort to do so. I think that's all you can do. Yeah. I mean, it's also tough on the other side of the coin. There's reasons that I drifted apart from some of the people that I served with. And I take heap from it from some of the guys that I served with in the Marine Corps from my old platoon. and Fallujah gave me, you know, I've gotten a little bit of flack from them

about like not being around, not being more connected. But the problem with it was, is that I realized at a certain point, like they always wanted to have reunion. They always wanted to get together. They always wanted to have a party. They always wanted to get stark raving drunk.

And then they wanted to talk about the same firefights, the same situations, the same instances. And I got lost in the past. Yeah, you get stuck in the past. And then you're not moving forward. You're not growing. And you're just,

you're stuck there and I noticed early on that like I didn't want to be stuck there. I didn't want to continue to relive that pain and that hardship over and over year after year after year after year at the bottom of a bottle of whiskey or a bottle of beer. Well, I think it hinders growth too and evolution. Right. If you had that anchor that, I mean, the calendar shocker is going to keep flipping. It is. And the things that we did are done. Correct.

So I don't want to be defined by something that happened a decade ago, which will become two decades. which will become three, and that's not the existence that I want. No. Only looking in the rear view mirror. Yeah, so it's tough sometimes to say connected with those people that you probably need to, you know, keep a close eye on if they're stuck in a certain spot for year after year after year after year. So, yeah, it's a tough, it's a really tough situation. I would just say any advice that I could say is just, you know, pay attention to the people that are in your inner circle. And if you can tell that they are struggling a little bit, don't be bashful.

don't give them the benefit of the doubt, sweep in, fucking put an arm around them and say, hey, man, are you okay? What's going on? And pick it apart and find out and then support them in the best way that you possibly can. I like it. You ready to lighten it up a little bit? Let's find your way out of the dark cave. I'm just joking. Now we're going to talk about personal responsibility.

Awesome. It says you talk a lot about personal responsibility and I couldn't agree with you more, especially with the times we are in. If everyone had just a little more personal responsibility, I think it was. go a long way. I think in general that would go a long way. My question for you is how do you manage personal responsibility with asking for help? I'm a professional in the finance industry and I'm very fortunate compared to most people. However, I struggle with being financially responsible and making the mature decision when it comes to money. I truly believe in taking ownership of your actions and the decisions that you make are for you to face and yours alone. However,

in the last year I have found myself to be in a very bad situation financially. My father, who is a financial planner, would be the perfect person to ask for help, but I strove with opening up to him and asking for that help. I find myself thinking that I cause this mess and I should clean up this mess instead of putting undue pressure or burden on someone else. I know it's important to be responsible for your own actions, but where and how do you decide it is time to ask for help to fix the problem you are facing and how do you get over the attitude or mindset of being a burden to somebody else?

On a side note, I often feel like a failure when I think about asking for help. I know I'm only doing harm to myself, but what advice do you have for overcoming that? This actually ties in pretty well to the last question. Yeah. I love that I work in the financial market, but I struggle with financial decisions. Because I bet you he's not alone. It's easier to deal with other people's money and tell them it's easier to be a dietitian. and give, well, not that I'm a dietitian, but to give diet advice, then to eat healthy yourself.

Like, I get it and I appreciate it. Thoughts. When do you ask for help? When you're finally in that spot where you have no more options to action things yourself, when you find- Why wait to get there? How about asking for help before you get to that? Well, I think it's based on severity.

Of course. Okay. So if- You just described the most severe situation possible. Well, I think there's levels of severity. Like, if I'm getting ready to, like, get a, evicted for my house because I haven't paid the rent because I made some really bad choices with money. That's a lot different than I have a gambling problem and I may have borrowed money

from the wrong people that are now coming to break my knees with a baseball bat because I haven't paid them and the juice is running. So the Vig, if you will. Yeah. So there's there's, I think there's a spectrum of severity, but if it's if it's a situation where you, you, recognize you have a problem and then you continue to go down that road and be what I like to call the self-licking ice cream cone, which is basically a situation where a human being causes their own strife and then wonders why it takes actions to make the strife worse so that it's just negative closed loop. Yes. Yes, you're a self-licking ice cream cone at that point. So if that's the case, then you need to really stop and evaluate what you're doing. How you're doing? How you're

you're doing things and if you've exhausted all your ability to help yourself or you're just so fucked up that you can't provide you can't as evan says evan says you can't you can't self-rescue um then yeah go go ask for help and put your it's a pride it's a pride issue like everything that he described in that email is like that's a ego pride self-induced self-looking ice cream cone problem right there like like the best thing he could do if he wants to go to his dad for help is to own his shit. Own your shit. Go to him and say, dad, I fucked up. I'm super irresponsible. I had this issue. I put myself in a bad situation. You're really good at this. Also, will you please help me? Have you ever had a situation in your life, whether it was in

the military or prior or post, where you have asked for help where you didn't get it? Because I have not. And that's why I asked. Every time I've legitimately gone to somebody and said, hey, I'm either over my head accidentally or I 100% drove this fucking car into the lake. Right. And I need help. The person that I have asked has been willing to bend over backwards to provide that help, especially if I am willing to listen and actually take the steps that they recommend. Right.

You don't want to be an ask hole where you just ask everybody for help and then take no action. Right. But every person I've ever asked, and I've had to ask my parents, I've had to ask friends, coworkers, colleagues. And not that often because I struggle with and suffer. from the same thing that is holding this person back, which you already identified is their ego or that thought of like,

oh, people will think I'll be less than in somebody else's eyes. And all I can say to that is is that we're all a burden on somebody else's life at some point. Spoiler alert. If you were born, your parents hated you for the first zero to four years of your life. Right. When you were pissing and shitting on everything,

they didn't hate you, but it gets old. Yes. You know, and then the problems just get more complex as your kids get older. You're a burden on somebody's life throughout the course of your life. So get over that fact. Correct.

Maybe the best way you could pay it forward is to be there for other people when you see that they need help so you can relieve the burden on them. But every time that I have reached out, as long as I was willing to do what the person recommended and listen and objectively think about it, I've got nothing but help. So I don't think it's a matter of even needing to worry about that. It's a matter of what you already identified of getting over yourself and getting past that. And it's a humbling step. which is good for growth. It's great for your personal growth. Yeah.

To be humble and to take the situation that you've created and learn as much as you can from it and have to go before somebody that can help you and say and admit your faults and your weaknesses and that's how you build better strengths. And I would say to this person, play a little game with yourself throughout your day. Like pick a period of time you're going to do this,

whether it's a day or a week or a month. But you're going to be presented with options all throughout your day. all you get to do during your day is pick the more difficult option. Am I going to stay in bed for five more minutes? They're going to get up. Okay, I have to get up. Am I going to eat healthy or am I going to have a Mick fill in the blank?

Nope, I'm going to eat healthy. Am I going to exercise or sit on my ass? You're going to go exercise. Am I going to, God, I want to know what this guy spends his money on? Am I going to buy the Porsche? Am I going to buy the Rolex? Am I going to buy the Rolex in the bag of blow in the hookers? Or am I not going to do any of that and I'm going to invest in an IRA or fill in the blank.

You have to do that. It's an interesting game to play it with yourself, and I recommend everybody listening to this. Just do it for a day. For a day. I think it's great exercise. Take the hard option, regardless of the choices that are in front of you. You have to, for one day, take the hardest options.

I like that. Yeah. Well, and you'll realize that it makes you dive headlong at the things where you're actually going to get growth. Yeah. And then once you've done it for a day, maybe do it for two days. Depending on how that day goes. Right. Could be a shit show.

Yeah. Ask for help, buddy. is what I'm saying. Go find your father-in-law or your dad and go get the help. You'd probably be amazed at the impact it'll make. Yeah. Last one. This one is lighter. You're ready? Well, let's not forget this last piece. Stop being a self-looking fucking ice cream cone. Yes, I agree with that completely. Question number four. EMP hits in 30 minutes. Walk me through the 30 minutes before the EMP hits in the next 24 hours. Oh, shit. I really just try to throw your kerball there. EMP is electromagnetic pulse and it basically kills everything that's electronically powered right

both battery and something because it like over fries the circuitry I'm not sure I think if it's only connected to electricity so I think if you disconnect it from electricity it will not fry in this game regardless if you disconnected or not it fries it okay so everything electronic gets fried yep you get 30 minutes what's your pre 30 minute EMP plan oh wow I already know what mine is, but way more squared away than you. Also, I knew I was going to ask you this question. Right. So you had time develop your COA?

Mine is reach out to people and first off, rally point. Yeah. I mean, EMP pulse. Wow, that's going to do like just the... Shit's fried. Yeah. Any handheld device gone. GPS is, they're gone too in this.

I kind of like this. I kind of wish this would happen because maybe then people would start living better lives and get off social media. But here's the thing. If you only have 30 minutes, if you weren't prepared in some degree, at least between the ears for this, you're fucked.

Yeah, I mean, because 30 minutes is low to put into a plan. So I think for me, priority would be, I'll do my first 30 minutes and then you can do yours. I would throw the shit that I have ready in my truck,

assuming I was at my house. If I wasn't at my house, but the first thing, though, is establish columns in those 30 minutes with the people that I would need to. Secure rally point. and hey, if I'm not there in two hours, this is what you should do,

if I'm not there in four, you know what I mean, lay out a brief course of action that we're very familiar with. If I was away from the house, I would go to the house, grab my shit, and get there immediately scooping up people along the way if they needed it.

But that'd be my first 30. It would be just communicating and setting up, setting the stage, if you will. What's your first 30? How are you going to get anywhere on your vehicle's fried? No, I have 30 minutes. Yeah, what if the people you're trying to rally?

The EMP doesn't work on my truck. Don't worry about it. It's a Ford. Still, it's a rally point. And the rally point for us, and that's what I'm saying. Like, I would say, we're going to meet here at this time, and it would be something that we could walk to. And so it would be maybe you won't see me for 24 hours, but we're going to get there and wait a minimum of 24 hours for everybody. Okay.

But for me, you probably would just be get to my house and then Lord over the world. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like that would be a great place to. But comms, though, is priority in that. Yeah. Yeah, I think you would definitely have to put together some type of link up plan. for your loved ones.

And you'd have to think over that quick, especially if they live states away. Yeah. If they live states away, yeah, because how are you going to get anywhere? Horse. Solo mission. They're on their own.

You better get some horses. Yep. Yeah. Better get some horses and figure that out. First 24 hours after the sucker goes off. What's your priority? After it goes off? Hopefully I've rallied someplace,

and then my priorities work would be, basically harden the place up and then food, water, shelter. Goddame you, that's what I was going to say. Yeah. Because it's the only thing that's actually reasonable. I would not be patrolling the streets, for those of you listening. I would not. No.

Well, first of all, my house is not near the streets. But yeah, I would actually, let's change this, though. Let's say we were in New York. Let's say we lived in Manhattan and you knew it was going to happen in 30 minutes. I personally would want to get the fuck out of there. Does everybody know or does it just you know? In this situation? Just me.

Just you. I'm out. Okay, you might be able to make it across a bridge in 30 minutes. I'd be able to make it far enough in 30 minutes. I think I would have a head start. He would. First thing would be to get off the island. Like you would have to.

And 29 minutes into it, I would tweet, hey, you guys better watch out. Yeah. Because there's an EMP coming. And by the time everybody read that, their phone would shut off, but at least I would have warned them. Right.

Surprise cockfags. I say cockback, even though you are correct with the cockfack. Yeah. Team America, World Police people. We didn't make up that term. Yeah, if you were in New York, I don't think the move is to stay there. I think you would have a full breakdown of the EMS system.

Oh, completely. And I think you would have a full breakdown of the societal system. And I think it would be, you know, Lord of the Flies. People have no, yeah, you're exactly right. No power. I mean, I saw this happen in Katrina. So I know exactly what happens. I think you have to get away from that as far as possible.

Yes, you do. So if you're in a urban environment, I would, if I, if I lived in an urban environment, I would have a, a go bag for sure that would have all the survival essentials in it. You know, I'd have a, you know, my fire starting materials. My, you know, flashlights would be useless because those would be fried. Yep. So water filtration, yeah, I'd have food. Water filtration, a little bit of food and some, you know, a sleeping bag and a, and a map and compass.

Map and compass of my immediate area. So, yeah. And then I would have, I start walking. start walking to get to a place that I know, a place that I could, that I know that would be safe. So I'd start, if I was in New York, I'd start walking towards Montana. I would want to get to a place where I'd be safe around people that I trusted. I think those would be my priority, the physical security of the location and then surrounding yourself.

I mean, the reality is if this did happen, I think you could probably replace everything that was destroyed before, hopefully, society crumbled on itself. Right. But if this was like full red dawn scenario, that would be my priority. Communicate with the people. Develop a plan, a location, and a rally point. Get to that, hardened like you said, and then play it by year from there. Yeah.

Have a pace plan, as old Mike Glover likes to say. I know that acronym, but what is it? Primary alternate contingency and emergency. Yeah. It's wing it. It's Army shit. Yeah, we used to use those two. Let's be honest.

There's far too many acronyms that I've been exposed to and far too many blows to my head to remember those things. That's why I had a mission planning cheat sheet. Yeah. So, yeah. You had it in your little rose placard. That's all I got. What do you want to close with? Holidays are right around the corner.

Are you a New Year's resolution type? No. No, I'm not. No, I just try and do a good job. Just trying to incrementally do a good job and a better job and learn more and be better every year at something. So I don't, I find that I have in the past when I was younger, if I tried to set a New Year's resolution for something, I was like, would

fuck it up. and I'd get pissed at myself. January 7th. Like, fuck, fuck it. I'm not doing it now. You know, yes, January 7th. I'd be like, I'm going to do this. And then I wouldn't.

And then I'd get pissed off at myself. So I just found that like, let's just not put those. Let's just not put that pressure. Put the expectation on yourself. Yeah, put that expectation or pressure on myself and just instead learn more, be better, be a value at every day. Agreed. In some way, shape or form.

So, yeah. That's the best clothes right there. So, recircle the horses. Everybody listen up in January. Yes. Deal? Yes, January. I'll continue to be the sort of kind of full out of Friday once a month co-host on 24-month probation.

It's 36 months now, but still probation. How did he give them up to 36 months? Just because that's what I wanted to be. I'm the fucking boss. All right. That's it. Marketing is hard. But I'll tell you a little secret.

It doesn't have to be. Let me point something out. You're listening to a podcast right now and it's great. You love the host. You seek it out and download it. You listen to it while driving, working out, cooking, even going to the bathroom. Podcasts are a pretty close companion. And this is a podcast ad. Did I get your attention? You can reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from Lib Sin ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements or run a pre-produced ad like this one, across thousands of shows to reach your target audience in their favorite podcasts with Lib Syn Ads. Go to Lib Syn Ads. Go to Lib Syn ads. com that's l i b s y b s y s yd s yd s yads dot com today