Cleared Hot - Powered By BRCC - Full Auto Friday - Round 49

Episode Date: April 16, 2021

Rapid-fire Q and A submitted from the listeners! A variety of topics with a five-minute time cap per answer. 1. Removing troops from Afghanistan and the "forever war." 2. What can I do to support my spouse who sees death in the ICU 3. Advice for someone going out the door on their first deployment 4. How do I balance being happy and wanting more 5. My teenage son is struggling, how can I best support him 6. What happened to logical thinking Enjoy

Ladies and gentlemen, this episode of Fuller Friday is brought to you by Christensen Arms, the original creators of the carbon fiber rifle bearer and makers of the lightest and most accurate rifles in the industry. I have their 308 and their 300 wind mag. They are delightful. To pick a word that may not be used often in the firearms space, they are by far the lightest rifles that I've ever taken into the field. And I say that they have a suppressor on them and the optic, and they're still lighter than anything that I've ever carried. Specifically, I used them for hunting last year, and they were a total game changer. Everybody obviously wants the best rifle for their personal use.

And a lot of people don't know where to start. And I'm really glad that Christensen Arms has decided that they want to make it even easier for you to find that perfect rifle, without the hassle of hours of research and having to sort your way through a lot of. a gun jargon. They have the created, the Find My Firearm tool. It's a short questionnaire that will match you with the firearm that's going to meet your needs. You can find this tool at Christensenarms.com slash find my firearm. Or if you just want to check out their selection, go to Christensenarms.com, and you're also going to be able to find the tool there as well. This episode comes out, obviously on Friday, being full out of Friday, and they're actually releasing a brand new MPR today. So, Christensenarms.com. Go check it out. This episode is also brought to you by Templar Medical,

a veteran-owned company located in Virginia Beach. They are an N-A-E-Mt, National Association of Emergency Medical Technicians Authorized Training Center. They provide private and open enrollment training opportunities for civilians, law enforcement, medical personnel, and the military. They actually have a class up in August on their website that you can go check out. Now, the ad that I just did was about firearms. Some people, they don't like firearms, but they still want to be a value ad. And to me, the biggest thing that you can do is learn how to help people in their moments of need. And whether you love firearms or hate firearms, actually, even if you love firearms, if you only focus on that and not the medical aspect, in my opinion, you are absolutely

missing out. Templar Medical has a selection of new trauma medical kits for a variety of uses. You could use them at the range. You could put them on a gun belt. You could put them in a vehicle. You could take a bow hunting, rifle hunting, whatever you like. You could take a hiking, outings with the family. Fill in the blank. They couldn't be easier to use. You pull a handle and a medical kit that is made in partnership with North American Rescue comes right out and you have everything that you need, starting with a set of surgical gloves to keep yourself safe to deal with trauma situation. A word of caution to people when it comes to medical kits. Please don't think that possessing just one is going to be enough. I highly recommend you have multiple kits available in

different places and tourniquets are as important as the medical kits. Templar Medical also offers cat seven tourniquets and tourniquet pouches since we're on that topic. Bottom line, be an asset to yourself, be your own first responder, be an asset to your family, your community, and your country. Go to Templar Medical Training. Go to Templar Medical Training. and check them out. That's all I got. Let's get into this episode. What's going on, everybody?

It's Friday. You know what that means. It's Q&A, full auto Friday number 49. I'm actually thankful that I'm just labeling these simply and sequentially because I can tell how long I've been at it. And I'm three episodes from being able to do these or say that I've been able to do these for a year. Let's dive right in because if you're like me,

I want to get on to the weekend. I don't even know how many questions I have today. I think it's somewhere between five to seven. Like I said last episode, not a math guy. Question one. Hello, Andy. I'm interested in your take on Biden's plan to remove all troops and end the forever war. Do you think it's time?

I realize it's been an ongoing effort, but are the Afghans ready to handle this on their own? Or will the U.S. efforts be for not, leaving those that paid the ultimate sacrifice in vain? Your thoughts? This recently, at least the past few days, has been probably the number one topic that I have received questions on. And let me be clear, I am not an expert on foreign policy. I am not an expert on the operational or even strategic plans that have been put into place when it comes into Afghanistan, or really anywhere, for that matter. I lived at a very tactical level and maybe even at the bottom rungs of the tactical universe. So I can answer this from my perspective or when the question asks, you know, leaving those that pay the ultimate sacrifices, their efforts in veins, my thoughts on that, I can answer from my perspective.

But just understand that's all it is. The Forever War. So let's say that Biden is successful when removing all the U.S. troops from Afghanistan. Does that end the Forever War? No. And I think it's, I hope, an accident that it was labeled that way. because the last stat that I heard yesterday, I was listening to a podcast yesterday, and for the life of me, couldn't tell you who it was or what episode it was. But the United States, specifically special operations, is involved in 140 countries right now. If you subtract a one from that, and it goes to 139, is the forever war over. Obviously, it is not. Because it's more than being in a country. We are attempting to, in my words, and obviously, you know, not the words of the U.S. military, were attempting to

protect ourselves from an ideology. The ideology, in my opinion, is rooted in pure evil. And in my opinion, again, the only way to truly protect yourself from that is to destroy it when you are confronted with it. So, subtracting the troops from Afghanistan does not end the Forever War. If anything, what I would say is that we were so successful as United States military at a tactical level that we created in some part the issue that we are experiencing and fighting now, meaning when our enemy would locate themselves with, you know, a large group of people, four to six people, or enough that would be a tipping point where we would start to target them and we would go and find multiple individuals. It doesn't take a rocket

surgeon to realize that that's what's happening. Our enemy is not stupid. They watch our behaviors, much like we watch theirs. So they became very disaggregate in nature. You know, the beginning of the Afghanistan campaign, if you look at it, you know, the Taliban, in my opinion, never really had the ability to do anything outside of the country of Afghanistan. What they did have the ability to do is create a safe haven for organizations and individuals to grow an insidious ideology that could then strike other areas in the world. Should that be handled? Absolutely. Is the Taliban itself capable of doing any of those strikes? No, they are not. So we went there to try to deny a safe haven and to target those that might have been responsible for 9-11. I feel like we were successful in doing that

and are the Afghans ready to handle their own security? I think it depends on the definition of handle and the level of which they're going to be expected to handle it. The population in Afghanistan is diverse when it comes to beliefs, beliefs, and tribal areas. Let's just say, probably much like the United States, there's not agreement in all things. They are behind when it comes to advancements in many ways. Their first world, I would say, in very few areas and beyond the third world and many, many others. Is the Afghan, the A&A, the National Army, or the ANP, the National Police? Are they truly ready to manage their own country?

I don't know. But I also don't think that the U.S. is going to completely remove their support. There's a difference between moving the troops, removing the troops, and removing support. I think that there's going to be a heavy hand of United States citizens there as contractors, whether they're working for other government agencies or those other government agencies just contract out to other civilian agencies. My point in saying all of that is you can take the troops out who wear a uniform professionally. I don't actually think the United States is going anywhere because although I think the term forever war is incorrect when it comes to Afghanistan, I do think it is

correct when it comes to fighting that ideology. I don't think that in my lifetime and maybe even the lifetime of my kids that the forever war is actually going to end. And like I said, you can and subtract one from 140 and put us at 139, and I think somebody who can look at very basic math can tell you, oh, it's not actually going to make that much of a difference. When it comes to the U.S. efforts being for not, leaving those that paid the ultimate sacrifice in vain, removing the United States troops from that country, I do not believe that the U.S. efforts would be or should be or should be viewed as being for not. And certainly those that gave their life in Afghanistan for what the United States was trying to accomplish. No, that ultimate sacrifice was not in vain. Again, if you look at what we were trying to do in that country, originally, you know, deny that safe haven and then target the individuals that were responsible for 9-11. I think we were very successful at that.

The United States military is not successful at nation building. And I think very quickly, what ended up happening is that role shifted from a more direct, action targeted central approach to that of nation building. And in my experience, at least, the United States government, specifically the United States military, they suck at it. I lost quite a few friends in Afghanistan. And I spend a lot of time thinking about my actions when I was in the military, whether it's in Afghanistan or Iraq or other places in the world. The actions that they were taking when they lost their life, they were important at the time. If you look back 20, 30 years, you know, if we're going to the future and you look back on those actions,

would it be easy to say, oh, you know, they died for nothing? Well, it depends. Because the breadcrumbs can be connected from their actions, which I often describe the actions at a tactical level, are putting your fingers in a leak in the dam in the hopes that there are people who are trying to design a better dam to solve the greater problem. Without plogging those leaks, well, the dam's going to come crashing down. And I don't know what the world's going to look like in 20 or 30 years. But for the people that I know who gave their life, they were doing it so other people wouldn't have to stick that finger into the leak in the dam. And they were doing it with, I would like to think, the knowledge that their actions would be important in the future, in that greater picture.

But to really understand that, you have to expand your horizons a little bit when it comes to how you view this and expand your gaze. You know, I think the messaging is important when it comes to a national level in how we're going to do these things and why we're going to do these things. And that's why I said at the very beginning, I think it's a mistake for Biden to get up there or any politician to get up there and say, hey, we're ending the forever war because it's disingenuous. We're actually not. We're involved in far more places. And like I said, a lot of that is because we were so successful at what we did. If it was up to me, if I was king for a day, I probably would remove the U.S. forces as well because like I said the U.S. military sucks at nation building. We're very good at

targeting, capture, kill. Again, I can't speak for the entire United States military. I'm talking about the world that I came from. We're very good at those things and we're very weak at others. And like I said, there's a difference between removing troops and removing support. I feel like we're going to be involved at a support level, probably for the rest of the history of the United States of America. But like I said, if it was me, if I had the ability to pull the troops out, would I? Yes, I think I would because I do believe that we accomplished what we were trying to in that area. And I think that at this point, we can treat that country, likely how we do many other countries throughout the United States, throughout the world, where

we can strike and target surgically without having a continuous boots on the ground level. Hopefully that helped answer your question. I feel like I rambled there a little bit at the end. But this one is it's anything but a narrow topic. It's actually really broad when you start digging into it. Question number two, if I can get to it. Longtime listener, first time caller, 23 years old, and so is my girlfriend. She just recently graduated from nursing school this past December and started her first job.

full-time as an RN in the medical ICU at a level one trauma center. At least no RN means nurse. Needless to say, dealing with people on the cusp of death is the definition of her job. She had interned at the same unit, the two years leading up to her full-time start, so this environment isn't completely new to her. She's lost patients before, but over the past few weeks, she's had three patients lose their life that has caused her to come home from work crying, not knowing how to deal with it. other than offering to listen to her, suggesting that she start to see a therapist to work through times like this, I feel like there could be more, I feel like there could be more I should be able or should be doing to be there for her in times like these.

We'll love to hear your thoughts. Well, you already nailed the first two because I won't stop talking about therapy because I think it's amazing. So you've already offered or you're already there to support her to listen, which I think is huge. Just be there to listen and not offer commentary. Let her unload at the end of the day. Suggesting that she see a therapist, I'd be careful with how you present that. I would maybe talk about just the potential benefits of therapy. And I guess what I'm really saying in that is don't go too over the top and too aggressive and be like,

hey, you need to go see a therapist because most people will push back against that. I'm not saying that you're doing that, but for people listening, probably the number one way to get someone to not go to therapy would be to directly address them and say, you need to go see a therapist. They're going to put up some boundaries and walls and push back against that. But you're already suggesting it, and I'm sure a very appropriate manner. So that's good. And other than those two things, what I think I would add, two things to potentially think about. Take a look at her social circle and try to determine how many people. in her social circle also work in that same environment. If it is all that she hangs out with,

if all of her social circle comes from the medical facility and all they do when they hang out is talk about work, she's not really getting a mistake, not a mistake, an escape. And I've had this conversation with both fire and LEO members here where I live. And one of them unsolicited made a comment to me that he found it to be really important to ensure he had a social circle outside of work. He was a law enforcement officer, and you can imagine the type of things that they see all the time, whether it's catastrophic loss of life at accidents. Well, bottom line, what they're dealing with is the underbelly of society that most people choose to ignore or avoid at all costs. And if you only hang out with people who come from that world, that's pretty much

all you're going to talk about. And I experienced that when I was a seal. When seals hang out, guess what we talk about. We talk about work. And it doesn't provide that escape and that ability to decompress a little bit, which is why I bring this up. Again, this is not something that I would necessarily approach her on directly and say, hey, you need to get some different friends. But maybe this is something that you could subtly have an influence on by diversifying the social circle and, well, first identify and see if it's even the case. And if it is the case, maybe diversify it just a little bit. And the last thing that I would say is one thing that you could do, that she may not even realize or recognize is create opportunities for both of you to go do something

completely outside of any social circle that is just physical in nature and has nothing to do with her occupation. Plan a camping trip. Go, I have no idea where you live, but I suspect there are outdoor activities available and plan things that are not, they don't have to be physically challenging, but are physical in nature that just allows her mind to either work through or shed the weight of what she does and what she is exposed to in her occupation. For me, it is some of the healthiest things that I've been able to do. And I think it's actually why I enjoyed base jumping so much. It was because in that moment where I had to concentrate so much, regardless of what had been bothering me up into that point, whether it be a relationship issue, a business issue,

an interpersonal struggle with one of my own, whatever it may be. You can fill in the blank when it comes to the things that bombard everybody from a day-to-day level. When I would go on those trips and I would step up to the edge and get ready to jump off, all of that stuff sheds itself away. And I was living in the moment and it really was a reset for my brain. I think I enjoyed that more than the actual physical activity. And don't get me wrong, I love skydiving and base jumping. And it took me a while to think about this as what is it that was actually drawing me towards that? I am not suggesting that you start skydiving or base jumping, but I am suggesting you find an activity that can at least provide that relief on top of the

things that I think you're already doing. So hopefully that helps. And do me favor. Please thank your girlfriend for what she does. I think, uh, oftentimes the people that work in that field are invisible to everybody except for those that are relying on them to save their life in the moment. Question three. Wondering what advice, tips and tricks you have for someone going out the door for the first time, which is, I read this email when somebody says that to me, they're getting ready to do their first deployment.

I am a flight nurse and aeromedical evacuation unit in my deployment, or my deployment orders start in a little over two weeks. I'm excited to go, but the buildup of making sure my wife is good. at home, parentheses, we live out in the sticks on 74 acres. You lucky bastard. Work projects are wrapped up in family wanting, in parentheses again, read, demanding to see me on their own schedule is beginning to cause a lot of anxiety for me. I really those people count on me and are coming from a place of love, but it's getting overwhelming. Any thoughts appreciated?

So it sounds like people are really demanding your time, and it sounds like almost beyond your immediate family of your spouse, and if you have kids, I don't know. sounds to me like you're talking about extended family a little bit. From a logistical perspective, some things that I always did that made sure that I, that it helped me make sure that I had a free and clear headspace, at least on the logistical side, make sure a power of attorney is done, right? There's nothing worse than getting overseas with spotty connectivity of any kind, whether it be voice or email, and finding out that there's an issue with the bank.

or of course when you go overseas, the washing machine is going to break, or there's going to be a lapse in your car insurance, all of that stuff. So make sure a power of attorney is done. Make sure your significant other knows where to find it. A will. Make sure your will is up to date. And it's not, I'm not trying to be macabre or negative about this and have you spend a lot of time thinking about your own death. But spending a little bit of time thinking about that can really make things easier. for the people that are left behind. I don't know if there's anything worse than uncertainty from a significant other when it comes to what should I do? Do, did he want to be buried in a national cemetery with military honors? Do you want to be cremated? How should I handle these things? What the allocation of the things that are left behind? Get all of that stuff done before you go overseas. What I used to do is just get a little file folder and how all this stuff put in there, printed copies, digital copies, and I would set it there. And I would also look at things that you can schedule. You know, it's where 2021 at this point, you can automate most of your bills. I would make

sure that the automation was done and really just tried to get it to a point where the person who is not deploying doesn't have to think about as much as you can possibly offshed for them. When it comes to getting ready to go and people wanting to come see you, what I'll tell you is this. You have your support group of your immediate family of your spouse and then you have your extended family. I think you completely identified it. It's coming from a place of love, but for you it's becoming overwhelming. So I would recommend that you guard against your time and make sure that you don't start a deployment filled with anxiety or exhausted from anxiety or being overwhelmed. So set some boundaries. It's hard to do,

especially when you're talking about loved ones or people who are tight in your social circle, but you're going to need to set some boundaries and be open and honest with that. Like, hey, everybody knows what I'm getting ready to do. I appreciate everybody's love and support. But carve out time for yourself and your immediate family and then carve out time for that extended family and force them into those boundaries. Because if it's coming from a place of love, I assure you they're going to have no issue working inside of those boundaries.

Oftentimes people, they don't understand what you're going through when you're preparing for something like this. So be a little bit more overt and honest with them. and I think it'll really help create an environment where you go into a deployment refreshed as opposed to overwhelmed. Next question. I have done very well in my life. I do not want to sound arrogant, but I'm 21 with an engineering degree. I have a job, the likes of which most people want to retire at.

I recently became a homeowner, borrower, and have a lovely wife I don't deserve. Most people tell me I am lucky and I have it all. My problem is I want more. I cannot stop thinking about the next move and how to increase our quality of life. I struggle with the appreciation of where I am and the desire for where I want to be. I like my job and I have a great house, but they could both be better. For example, my goal is to be a business owner and have a better home on land. How do I find the balance of being happy where I am and wanting more?

Some of the people around me think I am arrogant and or ungrateful for my life because I want better. My first instinct is to blow these people off and keep moving forward. I just want to reach out to someone completely objective and get a reality check. How do I find balance? Well, I can't say I'm completely objective. And I can't say I completely understand your situation because all I have to work with is this email right here. But I have some clues that I think I can work with. So I'm going to go, I'm going to dive in here a little bit.

When you talk about blowing people off, some of the people around me think that I'm arrogant and or ungrateful for my life because I want better. That may be because of how you are portraying yourself. So maybe take a step back and realize that you can have all of these goals and the goals that you have. They sound great to me, but you don't necessarily have to externalize them and it doesn't have to be something that you lead with. You can very quietly work on these goals. And in doing so, they're going to have no impact on how people view you. Because where you want to go in comparison to where you are right now, for most people, it's going to be incremental, right? unless you win the lottery and all of a sudden have this gigantic financial change in your life,

it's an incremental step along the way. I look at myself as an example of this. I'm 43 now. I look back to where I was when I was 21. There is a huge, huge difference between the two, but there is not one event that I can point at that says this is where the change happened for me and the trajectory became a rocket ship versus an on-ramp to the freeway. It has been a very, very low trajectory towards a distant horizon. And I prefer that because I believe it's more sustainable. Point of all that is be careful how you're presenting yourself. If you are presenting yourself as somebody who is arrogant or ungrateful and people are saying that to you, you know, maybe take that feedback on board. And it's going to suck. Taking feedback like that on board

and internalizing it and making a behavioral change, it's not easy. But it's better than blowing people off because they're probably telling you this because they care about you. And if you could just, like I said, internalize that a little bit and use that as your fuel quietly as you move forward, it'll probably change the social dynamic of it a little bit. How do you find a balance of being happy where you are and where you want to be? So you're 21. You have nothing but runway in front of you. I understand where you are and probably how fast you want to get to where you want to be. and I think I've said this before. You know, if I had to give advice to my younger self,

one of the pieces I would give myself is, you know, enjoy where you are along the way. I think it was Jeremy Jones. I heard say once, you know, the journey. He enjoys the journey more than the end state. He phrased it completely differently, and I'm totally murdering that. But I love the idea of that,

of enjoying not only where you are, but the process along the way. I don't know a ton of incredibly wealthy people, but of the people that I know who have what I would call just extravagant wealth, and I don't say that negatively, most of them are not happy because it has become about the money, the status, the things that they have. Actually, some of the richest people I know are the most unhappy people that I know. They take no enjoyment in the journey because it's all about the next. Okay, this is where I'm at now, but now I'm defined by this. So now I need to do better and better and better and better. And I worry for them because I think they're going to end up at the end of the lap they get around the track. And they're going to be unfulfilled.

And they're not going to be looking back on a life well lived. I think they'll actually have regret. They'll have the monetary means to do whatever they want to do. But they're not going to have the enjoyment or fulfillment that came from actually doing those things and being present. in the moment. Now, finding a balance question here is, I think is very difficult because I think goals are amazing and I highly recommend that you write out short, medium, and long-term goals. And like I said, the advice I would give to myself is slow down just a little bit and enjoy where you are. If all of your thoughts are balanced on the future, you're going to have no enjoyment of the

present. And maybe this is impossible, but how about like a 70-30 ratio of enjoying where you are and 30% of the time focusing on where it is that you want to be. The most unhappy I've been in my life is when I have defined my success or failure based off of things, specifically money. Oh, I make this much amount of money per year. Now I'm successful. If I make less than that, then I'm unsuccessful. Completely unhappy.

Now, to me, money is actually probably the most valueless thing that I have. Don't get me wrong. I understand it's important. I know that you need it for the essentials of life, you know, shelter food, making sure my kids have everything that they need. But beyond that, to me, money is an ability to do the things that I think are going to provide happiness, to travel, to take my kids outside of the country, or an attempt to take them outside of the country once per year, to go do experiences and not possess a lot of things. You know, you want to be a business owner and you want to have a better home on land. Those are all great things. But make sure that there are things that you're not aiming for because you think that the possession of them is going to provide you happiness.

I'm here to tell you that it is likely not. You could be a business owner. I look at owning a business and I'm in the process now of actually creating a new one with a business partner. And I look at that business not from the perspective of, oh, it's going to be cool to own this. But you know what? I think we could probably change some people's lives with this. We're going to have the ability to probably employ 15 to 20 people. We're going to have the ability, hopefully, to create a new cool area in the downtown

Calispell area that will provide people a place to go and do things and to be involved, hopefully, with a brand that they resonate with. And to me, that's way more important instead of trying to calculate, oh, cool, well, I'm going to own a building and, look, I'll make this amount of money, and that's what I'm going to do is really focus on a savings account. Savings account is important. but I think to me what is even more important is the impact it could have on other people's lives. So you could own a business. That's great. But if that business only serves you at that end of the lap, I just, I don't know how that's going to feel.

And like I said, I've made the mistakes in my life so many times when it came to making decisions about money or things. And it has taken me into my 40s to realize that I had it completely on its head. having said that progress with your goals set your goals do the best that you can to at least enjoy every step along the way when you have failures and this is the last thing that i'll say on this revel in those failures relish those failures because those are going to be the best teachers you're going to have in this journey they're going to force you to question yourself, your motivations, and even your ability to achieve your goals. Live in those failures, absorb those lessons, and then take those lessons forward.

Don't try to avoid them. Don't try to artificially create them, but absolutely don't ignore them as well. And that's it. That's all I got for your question. Two more. You always talk about struggle, and it is foreign to me. My life has always worked out. I've been married for 18 years.

We have a great marriage and three kids. I have felt a connection to you in your podcast because we are of similar age. I am older, so probably way wiser. It's accurate. And our kids are similar ages also. My youngest is a girl and two oldest are boys. That's actually the exact scenario that I have. Our world was rocked a bit last week when we got a call from the local police department.

We found out our middle son was going through some mental health issues. Thankfully, one of his friends' moms was able to get it out of her because she was really upset over it. He is 13 years old, and we know knew he was disconnected a bit over the last year, but we thought it was just the last year and teenage years. The kid has everything going for him. He is athletic, smart, and good looking for him. We confronted him, and he admitted right away he was going through some issues, but said he worked it out and he was better.

He was better for the last few weeks. We told him he was, we still wanted him to get him some help because we wanted him to have the tools to help him when the feelings come back. The weekend was rough because with us knowing the feelings rushed back in and he was really in it this weekend. The good news is he sent my wife and I a lengthy text saying that it came back worse than before, but it made him realize he needs help. I guess that is a good step, but I'm still struggling to understand how to help him.

I want to wrap my arms around him and not let him go, but I understand he also needs to his space. So young teenage boy, having some mental health issues, having some struggles. What I can tell you is the one thing about this email that gives me hope is that he is engaging with you, although my recommendation would be as a parent is to do it face-to-face versus text. You may not have that opportunity. But at least in that text, he is saying, I am in a bad place, it came back worse than before, and he realizes that he needs help. The people who are able to verbalize that they need help worry me less than those that internalize and shut everybody out and isolate and refuse to communicate. I think that is the most dangerous situation that you

can be in. So this gives me less cause for concern, but obviously this is concerning as a parent. The desire to wrap your arms around him and never let him go, I have that exact same feeling with my kids every time they encounter really any difficulty. But you know that we can't do that because it doesn't prepare them for the real world. I think the best thing you can do is sit down and try to have a conversation with him to figure out what type of help would be the most beneficial. There's no reason to not involve him in this conversation. I think the worst thing that you could do would be to assume that you know what is best for him because, oh, hey, he's just a teenager, right? What does he know? Well, he knows a lot more about his life and how he's feeling than any

parent ever will. So sit down, keep the lines of communication open and involve him in the process of determining what may be the best course of action or line of attack when it comes to this. Does he need to sit down and talk with somebody? Would he feel comfortable doing so? You know, does he need a change to his life, whether that be the schooling environment that he's in, Or does he need to sit down with somebody, you know, an educational consultant that can start lay out the future? Maybe he's concerned with the future of his life beyond what he should be at his age. My middle son is 15, but he is unbelievable in his ability to think about the future. Sometimes to the point where I'm like, damn, kid, you know, don't forget to have a good time, you know, where you're at in today.

And I actually don't want that pressure of the future crashing down upon him. maybe though as parents we're not the best people to give that feedback because oftentimes I feel like we're a profit in our own land and they either need somebody in their social circle or a professional to say the same things that we are for it really to click and resonate for them so long way of saying involve your child in that conversation stay involved as much as you can I know it's very easy for parents to say oh my kids are teenagers and they just want to push me away and you know I need to give them their space. And that's true, but you can give them too much space as well. I, my personal theory on this,

at least what I'm trying to do is not be intrusive in my kid's life, but to be involved in my kid's life. And I just had this conversation with my middle son last weekend. He was talking about the balance between spending time with me, because he lives with his mom, my ex-wife, and then spending time with his friends. He busts his ass during the week to be able to spend time with his social circle. And then two times per month via our parenting plan in the school year months. is time with me. And that bumps up with his desire to spend times with his friends. And let's be honest, at the teenage years, the FOMO, right, fear of missing out, of spending time with your friends, it's totally real. And I get that. And I told him, you know, I want to have open

communication about this. I want to be able to work with you with this so we can find a solution, so we can plan and maybe involve your friends in the things that we're doing as well. And there's some complications with that just based on the distance of where I live. But it is, I'm not to be intrusive, I'm trying to be involved, as opposed to being completely shut off. So finding that balance and staying connected is the best piece of advice that I can give you. And don't be surprised if all three of your kids, much, I'm sure anybody who has all three or has three kids can tell you, they're all different. I mean, my kids could not be more different. They have the same mother and father. They have the same upbringing in man. They are a

different expression of a homo sapien. They really, really are. So the approach has to be different, but I think it all starts with the open communication, the connectivity, and being involved in their life. I don't want to be something that my kids feel like they have to maintain a connection with. I want to be as a father something that they want to be a connection with, that they want to call me for advice, that they want to call me and celebrate when things go well, and they want to call me, and I can be a shoulder for them to rest on when they need it when things aren't going that way. And none of that comes by protecting them from failure and enabling their successes all the time as a parent. They have to go out and they have to figure it out on their own.

And that's a tough road to hoe, but it'll make them a better human being in the long run. Stay on top of the kid. Stay in connection with the kid. Stay involved and do the best you can to involve them in the decisions that can hopefully and potentially improve their life. going forward. Last question for today. My question for you today is a quite broad one, but it is one that I contemplate frequently. Why does it seem like logical thinking is absent among groups of people in our society? The groups I am referring to are mostly individuals who scream their positions of fringe politics, Democrat or Republican, on social media,

or generally accept any information they receive, whether that is from their political leaders or idols without question. I am an automation electrical technician. for an oil and gas company. My job title in a nutshell is I have to diagnose and fix any issues pertaining to automation or electrical equipment. My job duties entail that I think critically and use logical deductions to fix problems I come across. I apply these skills to all areas of my life. I question everything I am told and use my own deductive reasoning to come to a conclusion on topics I am presented with. Two topics that I have issues accepting the facts on are COVID-19, pandemic in gun control. I'm interested in your perspective on this topic. Well, I would say you have

a job that requires critical thinking. And I would love to say that all jobs do, but the reality is that they don't. And I would imagine that on whatever path you took to get this job, the educational path, you were taught to critically think and use logical deduction to fix the problems that you came across at work. And I have found once people cross that bridge and they learn to think critically and use logical deductions applied at an occupational perspective, it absolutely impacts their life. They start using those skills in the course of their everyday life. That is very common. What I think is less common are people finding jobs where those things are actually required. I think it's less common for people to be taught those skills.

So I think it's something that everybody can learn. I think the deficiency might be in that we as a society are actually not teaching people to think critically or use logical deductions. It seems to me, and going to the top, you know, where people are screaming at the top of their lungs, it seems to me that the currency of the day is emotion and not logic. And I think that's a very, very dangerous place to be. a lot of people do accept information and they just pass it on i think it's a combination of things one like i said a lack of being taught critical thinking and logical deduction or objectivity combined with a bolus of information at all times of information almost insurmountable pieces of information and a society where it seems to you know it's yep it pays to be first and those emotional responses

either faster you can get out there with them, the more you are rewarded for them. And I think it sets a very dangerous precedent. And I don't know the way out of it, actually, unless we can go back at a very early level and focus on that critical thinking, logical deductions and objectivity and teach those things at a very early age. You know, I come from a community in the military where leadership was of critical importance. So what did we do? We started talking about it in teaching. at the inception of the community from day one officer enlisted regardless of experience. We taught people the things that we valued the most in that community. And I think we need to probably reorient as a country and as a society what we value the most.

Because if we do not place that value on the things that you mentioned, it shouldn't surprise you or anybody else or me for that matter that there is a lack of expression of those things. And I wish I could give you a more detail answer than that, but I think that's what it comes down to. It's a broad question, but I can give you a broad but simple answer. The execution of fixing the path out of that is anything but broad. I think it would be very complex, anything but simple. But that's my perspective. It's the currency of the day. Emotions and the loudest you can be with the microphone.

And for me, at least when I see people doing that, it actually turns me off to whatever it is that they're talking about. And I hope at some point people will realize that. If you want people to listen, the best thing that you can do is speak softly, because then they have to put in more effort to hear what it is you have to say. And on that note, we'll close it down for the day. Full Auto 49. Hope you guys enjoyed it.

See you Monday. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you. Thanks for taking the time to tune in, whether you're listening on an audio-only platform, or you're watching on YouTube, I appreciate that you take the time every week to tune in. People ask me a lot, what can they do to help me spread the word? And the answer is actually embedded in the question. The biggest thing you guys can do to help me if you enjoy the podcast and you think it would be helpful to others is subscribe and share it with other people.

And if you have the time, go on to Apple Podcasts and leave me a rating and a review. If you think the podcast sucks, tell me it. sucks and leave a zero-star review or the lowest stars possible. If you have a question, comment, or suggestion, you can go to clearedhotpodcast.com, and there is a contact me button right there, which will land in my inbox. And the last thing, if people are interested in helping out, what you can do is fly the old flag. And by that I don't mean an actual flag because I don't have any of those. I'm talking about t-shirts or sweatshirts or hats, whatever it may be.

again cleardotpodcast.com click on the shop tab and hopefully something in there looks like it would be an item you would like to wear around town and then you can tell people what it is when they ask you but that is it the biggest thing i can say is thank you i truly appreciate it until next time see you