Cleared Hot - Powered By BRCC - Full Auto Friday - Round 91

Episode Date: February 4, 2022

Rapid Fire Q and A to finish off the week: 1. How do you talk a family member out of marrying someone who may be a fraud 2. I want to become a professional skydiver/BASE jumper, advice for how not to die 3. Cancel culture and Joe Rogan 4. How do I pay child care and alimony but also afford a happy had fulfilling life for myself Enjoy

Well, hello, everybody. It's Friday. Who wants Q&A? I want Q&A. How about we just get into it? Yeah, let's do that. Full out of Friday, 91. Here we go. Okay, Kathy, west of the smoke. I'm looking at danger close now. Oh, one minute. Let's get into this Q&A so we can get into our weekend. This weekend I'll be spending with Mike Glover at the Fieldcraft Survival H.Q with Mike and Jack Carr. So hopefully some of you are going to be there. for those of you that are not. I don't know what to tell you. We'll probably do a podcast there and talk about what happened anyway.

So perhaps you get to have a little bit of the experience yourself. Let's take into this. Four very different questions for today. Question numero uno. How do you talk to a family member that may be marrying someone that is a fraud? Known history of lying and has not been totally truthful from the start.

This family member is focused on their looks rather than the entire package will most likely inherit hidden debt, more kids, and no additional income. They have a lot to lose because they plan on retiring in a few years, but if they are tricked into this marriage, I feel like the other person is most likely going to take advantage of all their years of hard work and assets. What are your thoughts? Well, damn, I think that this is outside of my area of expertise. And I think that what you're describing would be, what would be the common vernacular? A sugar, it would be sugar mama or sugar daddy? I don't know. Either one of those two is going to be accurate in the description of this, I think. And I'm going to,

I have to make some assumptions here. The first assumption is, is that, well, actually, you know what, I don't even know if this is a gentleman. This may be, this may be a woman. is it anywhere in here or talked about male or female? I'm going to assume, and I apologize if this is wrongfully so, that this is an older gentleman and a younger woman. Not an uncommon situation, but it also doesn't have to be something that is necessarily described or talked about in the terms of fraud. But maybe this situation is one of them. Here is what I would say. Here's the biggest piece of advice that I would give you.

If the rules were reversed and I watch something like this happening in my own family, there's a few things that I wouldn't. do necessarily, depending on how it went. But first and foremost, what I wouldn't do is try to convince other family members. I might talk to other family members about my concerns and get their input on the situation, but what I would not try to do is taint the opinion of other family members, because at the end of the day, this relationship, whether it moves forward or not, really isn't your choice. I'm not saying that your concerns are unfounded, but the decision is not yours to make. So you could voice your concerns to other family members without making an attempt to sway them. And maybe you would learn more and be able to refine your position in doing so.

Maybe you would find out that they also have those same concerns. And in that instance, what I would say is you could at least make an attempt at having a conversation with this individual. Now, let's say that you talk to other family members and they don't feel this way, but you still do. And you need to get this off of your job. What I would recommend is having a conversation with this person, one conversation with this person, where you voice your concerns in as non-emotional state as possible, being objective and logical, not getting frustrated or angry or worried or concerned of any of those things, just talking about it as openly and honestly as you possibly can, hear them out, engage. and dialogue with them if they want to, but if they don't and they just want to sit on what it is that you have to say, then that's all you can really do. If you go more than that, or if you go beyond that, I think what you are setting yourself up for is a position where you're going to

find yourself on an island, or you might find other people on an island because you could make this very contentious, and you could almost drive it to a place where these two individuals, the person that's your family member and the one that you're concerned about, actually bond together in their battle against you and other family members. I've never been in this situation. So again, I'm giving you my thoughts as if it were reversed or I was asking this question to you and I was in this situation. But I think that's where I would start. At some point, you're going to have to have a conversation with this person. I'm not a fan of people arriving at their end of their days with regret. So I think you should do the things that you want to do.

and say the things that you need to say. But just remember and be cautious. There's ways where you could have this conversation where it wouldn't be confrontational. And there are ways you could have this conversation where it might actually end up ruining your relationship with this person. You know, there are ways to protect yourself

when it comes to marriage. Prenuptial agreements would be the first one that comes to mind. And there's no reason why your family member couldn't actually do that. well, most likely inherit hidden debt, more kids, and no additional income. I mean, that's an assumption on your part, I would say, unless you actually have concrete information. If you have concrete information, I think that goes right back to speaking to this individual and having an upfront and honest dialogue with your concerns and how you feel.

You know, I don't think it's an incredibly uncommon thing where at least in the beginning, people will be blinded by beauty. And as life goes on or weeks and months and years go on, you know, I hate to tell everybody listening to this, but beauty is not going to last forever, unless the person that you're in love with is a fucking beautiful person on the inside as well. That type of beauty is a different story. But the physical aesthetics, hate to tell you, gravity is a real thing. We're all going to get wrinkles. Our hair is all going to change color. My personal thought on that is that you should embrace it. My kids ask me all the time, like, well, why don't you just, why don't you dye your hair, dad?

It's like, well, first off, every one of these grays is from you little fuckers. And they all actually mean something to me. So I don't mind the salt and pepper look. Also, I'm entirely too lazy to dye my hair because my understanding is if you do it one time, then don't you have to just continue doing it or cut all your hair off? Because at some point it would be like half died and half not. That's a different conversation, maybe a different question for Florida Friday, a hair care as an elderly gentleman.

But my theory is just be comfortable in the skin that you are in. And try to find somebody who is more beautiful on the inside than the outside. It'll change your perspective on love and life and happiness. Back to the question. Hidden kids? I mean, I'm trying to figure out if you're saying they're going to inherit hidden debt and also hidden kids. I don't know how you would necessarily hide kids. I think that would be if somebody got married and then all of a sudden the significant other said,

oh, by the way, I have a fleet of children that you didn't know about and I didn't tell you about before you got married. I think that would probably sour that relationship a little bit. No additional income. You know, this is an interesting one when it comes to relationships. And there's often disparity between earning capacity, earning ability, or even just having an occupation on the male and female side. And what I'll say to people, even though it's not directly in line with this question, is there are so many more ways to bring value to a relationship than just money. And I know it can feel very uncomfortable for people to not bring in an income while one other person is the breadwinner, for lack of the better term. And for some people, that's just not tenable.

It cannot be that way. They just don't want to be in a place where they're not making money, but I'm going to go right back to my initial comment. there are so many other ways to bring value to a relationship. If you can find that balance, not having an additional income or maybe an income that is substantially less, it doesn't have to be a big deal at all. But that's a conversation that should be had if you're going to go into a marriage, I believe, about what value do you put on the actual money versus other things? Because I'll tell you at the end of the day, they're not going to bear you with the money

that you have unless you're an asshole and you put it in your will and you tell them to. I'm not saying anybody should do that, but food for thought in case anybody wants to really mess with their heirs. This whole thing and everything that I've talked about, you know, there are options. None of those options, though, are yours. The only option you have is to really either keep your mouth shut or talk to your family and this individual. Beyond that, this person has to make the decision for themselves. and I have been in this place before where you're watching somebody that you care deeply about in a position and they're choosing between two options and you want to scream at the top of your lungs and

you know and you want to grab their hand and put it on button B instead of button A but you can't because people have to live their own life just like you have to live yours which is why I would recommend that you take the steps to have this conversation once and only once and then step out of the way and allow this person to live their life. If this person marries a gold digger and they take advantage of all their years of work and assets, there's nothing that you can do about that. That's not your fault. That's not anybody else's fault. That is this individual's fault and the person who was in the relationship with them. And that may suck to here, but that's where I land. but maybe kick this idea around or this question around to some other friends of yours that are obviously not directly tied to this situation.

But that's what I have for you. Question number two. Hey, Andy, quick question for consideration. In 2018, I went paragliding in Italy and instantly loved it. How could you not? I've been to Italy. I actually did my first base jump off Monte Brento, my first base jump off of a earth, the E of base, which stands for building antenna. span and earth off of Monte Brento and you want to talk about beauty holy cow the dolomites are there

there's so many beautiful mountain ranges like high mountain lakes there were people paragliding it doesn't surprise me you fell in love with it but skydiving has always been the dream since i was young i recently went last summer once in key west and again near my hometown in buffalo new york the whole sport quickly became a drug for me and now i'm working towards obtaining my license do you have any sort of advice or tips for me? I might be asking a lot, but the end goal would be to become a successful base jumper slash wingsuiter slash skydiver and jump all over the world. Possibly, possibly be sponsored by Red Bull and do what Felix Baumgartner did.

Anything would help. Well, for one, welcome to a very awesome hobby, which is what it is. for 99.99% of people. At the end of the email, you talked about turning it into an occupation, which is possible. But there's a lot of things that are going to have to happen between now and that even potentially playing itself out. So although you could drive this or build this into a hobby, I'm sorry, not a hobby, but an occupation. Right now, focus on it as your hobby. and the biggest piece of advice that I have for anybody who's looking at starting skydiving,

and then they say, oh, well, base jumping looks awesome too. But also, I need to throw a wingsuit on and then base jump because that looks amazing as well. The advice I have for anybody who is interested in that pipeline is take your time. Do not rush anything. Set a realistic expectation of how long that progression is actually going to take. And the answer to that is going to be measured in years. Not months, certainly not weeks. Now, the barriers to entry to buying a base jumping system and a wingsuit, if I'm being

totally honest, are very low. If you have a credit card and a pulse and you go to the right website, you could source all of the equipment you need to be a base jumper, wingsuit, or skydiver. And you would also have all of the tools that you need to instantly kill yourself the first time you tried to do that. So don't do that, even though it may be enticing and even though there are not that really there's not there aren't barriers to entry to owning the equipment so my advice is find a drop zone that has a robust and well rated a f f f program accelerated free fall program it's going to be

seven or eight jumps depending on whether or not you do a tandem first which is not required some people will ask you know do you have to do a tandem jump before you jump out of an airplane on your own the answer is no you can start right in an af f f program and you'll have two instructors one on your main side one on your reserve side and eventually that will reduce to one, and at the end of that, you will be authorized and trained to jump on your own, and then you're going to need to work your way through the license system of the USPA, the United States Parachute Association. A license, B, C, D, and then there's things like pro ratings, tandem ratings, AFFIs, TIE, or Tandum Instructor, all of that stuff probably is going

to be years down the road, but those are all things that I think you should pursue if you want to make skydiving an occupation instead of a hobby. You have to take your time. It'll probably take you, for most people, I'd say, an average of two to three weekends to get through the AFF program. It can be done in one weekend, which if you can do that, I recommend that you do. The consistency and currency that you have will be a little bit higher. If you take five to seven days off in between or two weeks, you're probably going to feel like you have a little bit of retrograde and your understanding in currency, which you will. So if you can get it all done at once, that's great. But then what you're going to need to do is you're going to need to build your experience because after the

AFF course you will be you will be you're not even a licensed skydiver you're you're going to be a graduate of the AFF program and you're going to have a lot to learn you're going to have a basic understanding of how to recover from instability a basic understanding of how to deal with malfunctions and to maneuver your body you're not going to have a great understanding of how to jump with other jumpers or how to, you know, maybe structure the load configuration of an airplane, who should go out first, where do the wing suitors go? How about the tandems? Where do the AFF students go? All of those things. It takes time. Skydiving is an expensive hobby. You can rent equipment and DZs will either, I've seen both versions of this and there's probably something in

between where you rent equipment per jump or you can rent equipment per day. You can pay people to pack your parachute. Your main parachute, obviously an FAA rigger is going to pack your reserve parachute. But the money adds up quickly. Probably be between $20 to $25 per lift ticket, and that's going to be from ground level to 13,500 feet approximately. It drop zones in the U.S. And then you have the equipment fee on top of that. You're going to want to get a helmet. You're going to want to get an altimeter. I would recommend getting an audible altimeter as well, which is an audible reminder of your altitude alerts that works well with your visual reminder that's the altimeter that you can wear in a variety of positions, whether it's on your

rig or on your wrist. A lot of people are going to want to buy a jumpsuit. And when you start off, what you want to do is be as safe and careful as possible. So if you look at a parachute, parachutes come in a variety of shapes and sizes. When you first start off, especially when you're in the AFF program, they're going to start you on a very large or very high square foot canopy, probably like a 250, a 260, 270, even bigger, depending on your body weight. And it's more docile. You can still absolutely hurt and kill yourself underneath those things. But it moves slower.

It turns slower. It loses altitude slower. And that is all for your safety and for your ability to learn and gain experience. Now, if your parachutes are big, the containers that they go in are also very big because it folds up to a certain square footage and you have to have a reserve and a main and it fits on your back like a backpack. That's called the container. And as you get experience, you're probably going to want to start downsizing your canopy, which will allow you to downsize your container size. They're pretty big when you first start, and you can get them to be in about the size of a normal backpack

that a 10-year-old would wear to school, depending on the size of the canopy. But there's years in between that. A lot of people want to rush into buying gear. And when they do so, they will, let's say, I'm going to get this 250. I'm going to buy the exact same gear that I learned on. And a few months into it, they have out. paste that equipment with their experience level now and they want to go smaller so it can become a really a really expensive endeavor especially if you buy new equipment every time so my advice is

buy used find a rigor or a uh a dropstone store that is oftentimes going to sell equipment and they will always they will oftentimes have a relationship with a rigor on the drop zone to make sure that the gear is serviceable so you can get a second opinion about the serviceability of the parachute, how many jumps it's had, how many jumps it's likely going to be able to sustain. And I would buy used for a few years. In a few years' experience, you're going to get to a place where your canopy size probably isn't going to drastically be downsizing an incredible amount. And this is all assuming that you maintain your consistency and currency throughout. If you're not going to maintain your currency and you're going to have huge gaps in how long it is between jumping and not jumping, you need to have a bigger parachute.

because it goes right back to what I was saying. They're more docile. They are safer. I put an asterisk on that. Skydiving is a high-risk activity, but it can be the risk associated with it, can be assessed, managed, mitigated. There's ways that you can do skydiving exceedingly safe.

And if you do them correctly, if you skydive correctly, and you always keep your focus on safety and analyze and mitigating that risk, the most dangerous thing you'll actually do is drive to and from the, job zone every day. You have a much higher likelihood of getting into a car wreck than you do dying skydiving. Actually, stats I was reading recently, the number of skydiving fatalities over the

last few years has been consistently decreasing. So the sport is becoming safer and safer. And I think a lot of that has to do with not only the equipment, but education as well. So in a few years in, you can buy that dream container and that dream parachute and the reserve parachute that fits in that container well. And then you're going to have a rig that is suited for you. it's going to save you a lot of money if you go that way but the choice is yours you can i mean if if cost isn't an option fucking go to town buy a brand new rig and a band new parachute every time you're going to resell it as you as you as you downsize you'll probably get man 50 cents on the dollar maybe 60 cents on the dollar but that's your choice when it comes to wing suiting what you need

to do is again take your time um the numbers that i have seen is 200 jumps before you put a wing suit on that is the absolute minimum that I would recommend. For most people, I put that number closer to 500, which for most people is going to be a few years of skydiving. It's a weekend hobby slash endeavor for most people, and it's not an everyday weekend one. You're probably going to have to drive to the DZ or schedule time off or whatever it may be.

So again, realistic timeline. Start your suit small and build your way up to surface area. You always want to be able to fly your suit. You don't want to let that thing fly you. And then the base jumping world, after you have a few hundred jumps under your belt, after you have flown a wingsuit, then I would start talking to somebody about base jumping. My personal recommendation for base jumping is Miles Dasher. He's been a guest on the podcast.

He's the one who taught me how to base jump. He's got a website. I think it's Miles D base camp. But just go into Google and put in Miles Dasher base jumping school. That's exactly what I did when I was eventually able to link up with him. Actually, we were connected through a mutual friend who owned the Drop Jone gear store. Shout out to Bonnie. She connected the two of us.

And the reason I went with Miles is at the time, he had more base jumps than anybody on Earth. So it's like, hmm, he's been around a long time in a sport that has severe consequences. I'm probably going to pick this guy's brain. And it was amazing. He's been a friend since then. And that's where I would start. However, he's not the only person that does this. So find a reputable school coach mentor.

and the same theory applies to skydiving. Incrementally, get yourself into this. Don't go to a first jump course and do 10 jumps off the bridge at the Perrine Bridge in Twin Falls, Idaho, and then think you're going to go strap your wingsuit on the borrowed base rig that you have and send it off a cliff in BLN land. I mean, you can do that, but we should also have a talk about the odds of you turning into a fucking pancake because they're pretty high, and I wouldn't recommend that anybody do that. because for me, skydiving and base jumping was so incredibly rewarding as an individual that I want as many people to experience it as possible, but I want them to survive the journey.

I don't want that journey to actually end their life. It sucks and it's tragic to see people who go out that way. But again, that's a different conversation. So set realistic goals and expectations, not only in your own progression, but it's in your gear purchasing. And don't try to combine too many disciplines at once. Really focus in get an understanding of one before you add something else to it. Just because you have been a skydiver who's been wearing a wingsuit doesn't mean you can throw a wing suit on a base rig after 10 base jumps and you're going to be safe. You know, the zero airspeed exits, it's not that they're incredibly hard. I mean, we're still talking about gravity and angle of attack and lift and, you know, airflow

above and below wings and stuff like that. it's not impossible to understand, but you're entering an environment that has much steeper consequences. And there's ways you can mitigate that. Monte Brento is a great example. That was my first wings two base jump. It's wildly overhung. It's got nothing but area out in front of you, an easy landing zone, espresso, a place to get an espresso right across the street by the packing area. So that's the progression that I would recommend.

When it comes to getting sponsored by Red Bull and doing what Felix did, you know, the vast majority. people are not able to do that. You're going to have to figure out a way, if you want to do that, to differentiate yourself in a community of people that are already doing, you know, highly visual things. A lot of the things they are doing is amazing. You're going to separate yourself or create something unique about your story that is going to allow people and brands to pay attention to you. For me, the gateway into that was doing the record jumps.

with a headset skull candy. They were the first brand that I had ever signed with that wanted to do a large content project. Kilcliff was my first relationship that I ever had in the professional world where I was like, holy shit, I actually have a sticker on my helmet. I have a canopy over my head. But I got lucky in my ability to do so

because that company was owned by a team guy. But one relationship can build to other relationships. So it's going to start with one and it can build to others, depending on how you deal with those relationships. and what you can provide to those brands. Put it on the back burner for, I would say, at least five to seven years. Realistically, we're probably talking more like 10.

And whatever you do, resist the urge at every opportunity to do something that you think is amazing for a video that will get either individual or brand attention, but in reality is wildly stupid and dangerous. there's been quite a few people that have gone in in the attempt to get YouTube content or social media content. You know, if you ever find yourself having five to seven Gopros on you and you're more worried about making sure all the lights are on than anything else, I'm not saying that's wrong. Just recognize what's going on. The priority now has become the content as opposed to maybe what the activity used to be for you. There is no judgment in that from me because I've been in that situation. but when I was in that situation, I was extremely clear about what was going on and what my goals were,

and I still set up everything that I possibly could to have a safety margin or barrier or buffer. And then I'm always looking for reasons to bail. I'm not looking for reasons to stay into it. I'm looking for reasons to bail. So keep that in the back of your mind, and I wish you the best of luck. Take it easy, take it slow, and be as safe as possible. Question three. Feels like the perfect storm is brewing.

It's interesting how quiet everybody is so far and trying not to get involved. besides a few senile hippies. By the way, we're talking about Joe Rogan and Spotify. I wonder how much longer saying nothing is going to be an option. If you're not with us, you're against us. Typically, cancel culture explodes immediately. I'm not really worried about Joe Rogan. He doesn't need Spotify, even if they decide to remove him.

But if he prevails, he will be that much more dangerous to the establishment. I can't think of any cancel culture survivors. This would be their first big slap in the face. Establishment hates it when they can't control individuals. In this case, Rogan. They were trying to make a stoned alien loony out of him for years. If they don't manage to take him down, and I don't think they will, it would solidify his position at a completely new level. Put him in a place that probably Joe himself never wanted to be.

What are your thoughts? It's pretty your main question, especially given that this is like in major media news outlets right now. And, you know, to the point of it's interesting how quiet everybody is so far and try not to get involved besides a few senile hippies, your words, not mine. Describe people however you want to. I think it's a forgotten art that it's okay to not have an opinion on something. You know, not everything that is a topic that is passionate for somebody else has to be passionate for you. And I fall into this category on this one. First off, I'm biased because I know Joe.

And I've known Joe for five years. And he's been incredibly gracious in giving me an opportunity to come on to his podcast. He's the reason that I have this podcast. And I've gotten to spend time with him off of the podcast. So I'm not going to say that we're great friends, but I do consider him to be a friend. And he's one of the kindest people that I've ever been around. He's legitimately kind and genuine and engaged with you when you're there. And I really appreciate that about them, especially given his orbit in the world.

So there's that bias that I have. But also at the end of the day, this is not a topic that I have a really strong opinion about. Because besides the few senile hippies in air quotes, I think people aren't saying much because it's going to work itself out without people saying very much. And again, a lost art of not having to have an opinion on anything. I wish it would come back. It's okay to sit on the sidelines on some things and not be the person on the front leading edge of the arrowhead, you know, trying to be the messenger to everybody else. I would agree with you. I'm not worried about Joe either.

I don't think that he needs Spotify. I think his platform at this point, I don't know what could stop it. I mean, as long as he has a place where he could upload his files, people are going to find them. So if he were to go off of Spotify, my assumption would be he would go right back to the platforms that he was on pre-Spotify. And if they booted him off Spotify, I almost feel like it would increase his audience size as opposed to decrease it. But who knows? The one thing that bothers me about this, and this is, it's other people have, of course, said it better than me. And I think there was a meme that was floating around.

It's amazing how pointed memes can be sometimes. but for people who want to pull their content off of the platform that Joe is currently using, I'm totally fine with that. If you want to limit where people can listen to your creation, whatever it may be, your art, whatever your art may be, whether it's music or podcasting, if you want to choose to limit that for people, couldn't agree with that more. That's totally your choice as the author of that artwork. But trying to remove other people's art or creation and limit people's choice and where they can find it, I have an issue with that.

You know, if you want to pull your music, go ahead. But please don't treat me like an idiot. I believe in informed decisions and informed consent. And I don't believe in censorship in any way. I think the worst ideas actually should be pulled into the light so they can be exposed for what they are. I've listened to all of the episodes that seem to be the most contentious. Obviously, they're all based around COVID, give the current time period going on right now. And there seems to be two or three individuals.

I've listened to all of the episodes that seem to be causing issues for people. And I didn't change my behavior after listening to those episodes. What I did was I had to go back and listen to some of the points again on all of those episodes. And it caused me to think and it caused me to question what I believe and why I believe it. And for some, it may change their behavior. For some, it may change their opinion. For others, it may not. But to try to remove information from people because you don't agree with it is something that I am completely and utterly against.

Again, if you want to take your own stuff away, go ahead. But don't try to limit my access and ability to find the information that I want. Joe's show is a choice. And for me, I choose what I want to listen to on every podcast based off the guest. I hate to tell you everybody out there who has a podcast for the ones that I do listen to. And I'm sure this is the same for mine. I don't listen to everyone because it's highly guest dependent. Some topics are not as interesting to me.

Because guess what? Like I said, it's okay to not have an opinion on everything and it's okay to not be passionate about everything. So I pick and choose. And I think that people have to be able to have that choice. Otherwise, you are taking from them their ability to make an informed decision. And looking at and exploring a narrative that goes against the mainstream, I think is actually essential. without that, I mean, without that, without the ability to at least find an opinion or seek out an opinion that may be different from the common narrative, aren't we just lemmings following along, listening to the only person or going in the direction of the only person holding a flashlight? I don't agree with that at all.

And I actually think a lot of this, you know, cancel culture specifically. I don't even know if this is necessarily cancel culture. What I see when it comes to COVID, and this is a little bit outside of what's going on with Joe, but I think it speaks directly to the motivation of what's going on with Joe. The more I watch and listen what's going on, the motivating factor behind these people is fear. And I don't know. I don't know if people realize how malleable and controllable you are if you're constantly afraid.

Fear may be, I think fear and love probably axes of each other, but I think they may be the most motivating emotions that we have as human beings. If I can terrify you, I can control you and make you do whatever I want to do. And if you find something that you are so. hopelessly in love with. Those are the situations where I have seen the expression of selflessness and action above and beyond oneself more than anywhere else. Love and then the other side, fear, where you're utterly and completely controllable. I think a lot of people are making decisions about fear. I think a lot of it when it comes to whether or not you should get a vaccine

or not. There's a lot of arguments or justifications, but I think a lot of that is based in individuals being afraid. They're being told to be afraid. Look at the media and look at what the media is putting out there. It's vastly based in trying to keep people afraid. Now, I don't necessarily know where they're trying to direct that, but I don't understand either why they're trying to scare the shit out of people constantly and consistently. Why do people want to pull opinions or information away that doesn't agree with their narrative because they're afraid that you're going to have access to it and that it might actually change your mind again it's so what's going on with joe people are afraid that joe is spreading misinformation and when people say that i don't like the underlying assumption that human

beings are idiots no one of my favorite terms from the most recent uh jordan peterson episode that he had was intellectually limited. And let's be honest, we live in a world where there are intellectually limited people. But you know what? In my experience, almost everybody is capable of making up their mind. But to do that, you need as much information as possible. Not limited information. Not information that only one particular party or group wants you to hear, but as much information as possible.

Why don't they want you to have that information? because they're afraid of the potential consequences. Again, I listen to all of those episodes that people are saying that are based around misinformation when it comes to COVID. I found them to be interesting. I found them to be thought-provoking. It did not change my mind on anything. And again, I can only speak for myself.

But I'm going to give people the grace and baseline position that they are smart enough to make up their own mind, especially when presented with the proper amount of information. So I don't agree with anybody. I do agree, like I said, I'm like all over the place today. I do agree with artists being able to pull their stuff if they want to, but please don't tell me or don't tell somebody else what it is that they should or should not be able to listen to.

If it's your artwork and your craft, go ahead. But don't try to remove from me sources of information just because you don't agree with them. And that's it. That's all I got. Question four. I'm currently 33. My wife and I have been together since high school. We've been married for five years and have two kids, four-year-old and a one-year-old. She has bad OCD tendencies and anxiety. I work six days a week in very strange hours, which doesn't help things. And to have a sip of water. Hold on. She treats me with little respect in front of other people resulting in my family and friends confronting me privately. She's threatened with divorce on multiple occasions. We've done a little marriage counseling, but hasn't helped.

and I'm not happy at all. I have a job opportunity in another state that would be more pay and better hours, but I'm afraid of taking the new job if the divorce is inevitable. If we move and get divorced, I now would be away from any type of support group, friends and family, I have in my current state. I'm also very concerned with being divorced and having to pay child care as well as alimony and not being able to afford a happy, fulfilling life for myself and my kids moving forward. I'm currently having trouble getting an appointment with a psychologist to work out my issues.

Any advice would go a long way. thank you. I'm going to go end to beginning on this one. First off, keep working on getting an appointment to talk to somebody. Psychiatrist, psychologist, I don't know who would be the right answer on this one. But having that detached neutral third party opinion in my own experience is wildly, wildly helpful. Being concerned with being divorced and having to pay child care as well as alimony and not being able to afford a happy, fulfilling life for myself and my kids moving forward. That's a valid condition. That's a valid but what I'll say to you is you're putting the cart before the horse. It's not, again, I can only speak my own, my own divorce. But I've watched other people go through this. It seems as if up front there is a lot of issue of this is mine and that's going to be mine and this is all you're going to get. And my blanket advice for anybody who's going to go into this process is skip that

bullshit step. Okay. At the end of the day, it's not up to either side of the divorce to say, say, I'm going to get this and you're not. What it's going to come down to likely is going to be the courts. Or if you go to mediation, what is going to come down to is two lawyers and two individuals sitting across the table trying to equitably as best as possible with another lawyer they're mediating work out a situation that benefits both parties. It sucks to have your life reduced to ones and zeros. It is actually one of the most heartbreaking things that I think

I've ever actually been through it. I just realize that at the end of the day, you're like, fuck, here's my life and here's my value on a spreadsheet. That's going to work itself out. And if you're in an unhappy situation now, you know, if you're worried about paying child care and alimony, and that keeps you in a marriage that you're unhappy in, I don't think that's the recipe for happiness at all. What I would say is you need to make the decision as to where you can be the best parent for

your kids, is that in your relationship with your wife, you know, you're not. or is that out of the relationship with your wife? That should be the primary decision-making point for you. In my opinion, and I'm not an expert, but that is how I would view this. The monetary side is going to work itself out on the tail end of that. Child care is going to be determined by the court, not by your spouse. An alimony, depending on the state that you live in in Montana, they call it maintenance. You didn't talk about whether or not your wife works or not, because all of that comes into a factor.

You know, is there one breadwinner and the other individual in the relationship does not work? Do they both work? Do they both have equal ability to work? Do they have equal education and work experience? This is all stuff that's going to be worked out. And it's out of your hands. The discovery process, you're going to provide every financial document that both of you have ever created probably in the last 10 years. And then professionals are going to root their way through it and make a determination is what they consider to be equitable.

And that will be your starting point for negotiation. Will it go your way? I don't know. Will it go her way? I don't know. But that's more towards the tail end of the conversation. If you're not happy as a person and you're not in a place as a person where you feel healthy, how could you possibly be a great role model and parent to your kids?

And now, let me say this. I'm not advocating that anybody get a divorce. I think that it should be the measure of absolute last resort. You should exhaust every single available opportunity, whether that be counseling, whether, fuck, fill in the blank. I don't even, you know, individual counseling, group counseling, retreats, fill in the blank, everything you possibly can, a test separation if you need to. But if you can't be the person that you know that you want to be for your kids in that environment,

you know, what example are you setting to them? And I use this often, but I think it's very revealing. Fast forward 20 years and put each of your kids into the situation that you are in right now. What advice would you give them and what would you want for them? The road ahead of you, it sounds like it's going to be difficult either way, whether you decide to stay and work on or you move forward. But both of those paths could lead you to happiness. There'll be dark days ahead. I think probably depending on the route that you take.

but you have to work through those dark days because the goal of it is to get to the light at the end of the metaphorical tunnel. It can seem like that light's not coming. Let me just tell you that from personal experience. It can seem like every fucking day you're drowning and somebody's pouring water on top of your head. And that is why I think you need to have somebody to talk to as you're going through this process. That mental health, sanity check, neutral, third party, like, am I crazy? Should I feel this way? And also those people can really help you give you tools.

to mitigate the stress of the mental judo that you're going to have to go through. So my only advice to you is decide. You have to decide, primarily. Can you be the parent that you want to be for your kids in the situation that you are in? The answer to that question, yes or no, should drive the rest of your actions. And that's it. That's all I got for this Friday.