Cleared Hot - Powered By BRCC - Michael Vs Andy - Round 1

Episode Date: September 15, 2023

Buckle up, everyone. In this episode we are stepping into a role reversal, turning the microphone towards the man usually behind the scenes – show producer, Michael Shelton. With a wide-ranging discussion that spans the technical details of grenade functioning to the provocative topic of cucking, and diving deep into life's intricate tapestry, we are going on a roller coaster of emotions, information, and insight. The Speed of War Comic Series: https://www.thespeedofwar.com/ Sign up for the new G14 newsletter here: https://www.clearedhotpodcast.com/exclusive Check out the newest Cleared Hot Gear here: https://shop.clearedhotpodcast.com/  

What's going on, everybody? Welcome back. It's not going to be your normal fallout of Friday today. Today, due to popular and incessant demand, Michael is going to reveal himself. I am embarrassed to report that I do not have his Orville Peck mask ready for him. His Batman mask and gladiator mask also not ready. So prepare yourself. He is going to reveal himself to the world. hopefully his life isn't destroyed by the paparazzi. Having said all that, I originally told him that today's episode would be about him asking the questions on Full Outer Friday, since he has been in the room for so many episodes. And he completely and utterly misunderstood what I said and came unprepared. So in the vein of taking complete and extreme ownership, it was totally his fault. and I blame him for that because there are no bad leaders, only bad teams, and you need to remember that. So essentially, this episode became Andy versus Michael round one. And I bet you know how it played itself out.

Let's get into it. Enjoy. I'm looking at danger close now. Okay, so. So, here we are. Fuckface. I technically wasn't prepared because I thought I would be asking the audience's questions. What would be another way to describe that?

Other than technically you weren't prepared. How about you were completely wholly unprepared? It's not a matter of technicality. You are just not prepared. This is, let's not get into the semantics of who is prepared or not. We don't need to. I was and you were not. Okay.

I get questions all the time about who is Michael. Uh-huh. So I figured for one short Friday episode, you can one, introduce yourself. and two, you can ask whatever questions you want because we've been doing this shit together for a couple years now and you never offer anything useful to the conversation

and you sit over there and listen I can replace you with a fucking blow-up doll if the fucking blow-up doll's fingers actually How about the who is the holds the power in the cucking situation? I had pretty good input on that. You did have good input. You

here's some insight into the emails I get. I'm gonna, fuck, I'm gonna pull it up. Okay, go for it. From emails from Bulls. Emails from Bulls. From, oh, no way, seriously? Dude, hold on. Oh, let me see if I can find this, do this real time.

I also had good input on the would you rather suck 10 dicks, or one dick 10 times or 10 dicks one time. Yeah, you wanted to commit. Mm-hmm. To one person. Yeah, because you're gay. The power dynamics of the cuck. Dearest Andy, I added the dearest part for comedic conflict. Classic, okay.

I have been in the position to be a bull on multiple occasions. No way. From my experiences, I've noticed that the power seems to change depending on the scenario. So this could be a floating situation. This could be a moving target, if you will. Example one of three he provided. I was asked by a close friend of mine to have sex with his wife while he watched. At the time of him asking me, he made it clear she did not know, but would go along with it if he told her to, not his exact words, but to that effect.

He was also very much into the whole tying girls up dominatrix thing, so that made me believe he was in control. And it was almost the act of humiliating her that he enjoyed. As their daughter and mine were friends and not random strangers, I declined multiple times. Example two. I met a very attractive girl on Tinder who invited me around for drinks. When I arrived, she was in lingerie and no drinks were had. She took me to the bedroom and just before going inside said her partner, I can't recall if they were married or not, was going to simply watch. At first I thought she was joking, but when we went in there, there he was.

Preceded in his cuck chair. At this point, it was. Obviously, decision time, and as an ex-grunt, I have jacked off inside many of Port-a-Potty's, so I'm not about to let some cuck throw me off my game. Literally some cuck. He literally said nothing the whole time while she screamed out and put on a show. Wow. The disturbing part came after I finished, unless you request, I will exclude these details for now.

Oh, no. Clearly, she was in power here is all I can say. example three i was dating a girl let's call her casey it's her real name but like she's ever going to see or hear anything that you may reference anyway her daddy issues had led her to believe that all men cheat keep in mind this girl was a true 10 out of 10 would be home in any men's magazine her solution to said problem was seeing that i was going to eventually cheat on her she'd rather be in on it while she was present so you could say she was cucking herself Everything in my brain told me this was a trap until one day at brunch, one day she brought one of her friends over and actually forced her friend onto me.

This happened another two times, one with a different friend. Now, originally I thought I was unknowingly in charge as the bull, but later overhearing conversations she had with that same and other friends about how great I was made, made me feel like I had just lent my mate, my brand new truck to show. show off and he uh show off what I had and he didn't I don't know what the fuck that last sentence is all about bottom line here's the deal these are the emails that I get mm-hmm there's no solid answer to the cucking question it obviously changed this is firsthand experience yeah oh yeah unless he's lying what would you do if you met a woman on tinder she answered the door in lingerie and right before you went into a bedroom she informed you that there was going to be somebody in there watching. What would you do? I don't know. I don't think I could do it,

honestly. Like, I'd be like, oh. Performance anxiety? I guess. Shy? Yeah, I mean, only because there's another person in the room other than us, too, you know? What if he just wanted to put a video camera in there that was live streaming to the TV in the living room? Would you be okay with that? Okay, I guess it would depend on how attractive she was. 11 out of 10. Then I would definitely consider it.

Fair enough. That's good insight, I guess. So I guess it changes. Is it, is it good insight? Is our life enhanced or changed in any way because of said insight? Well, no. I will never use that information. I will in conversations going forward to be able to explain the true power dynamic of a cucking situation.

Right. But I'll never use it practically, you know. Well, you're like 22 years old. That's true. Never say never. Never say never. What is dating like at your age these days? Do you go on dating apps?

I have had Tinder in the past. I'm trying to think. What'd you use as your profile picture? Me and a banana hammock. Strong. It's very Craig Jones. Yeah. Yeah.

Mustache. Yeah. Mustash rides. Okay. Free. How is the Tinder scene here in Calispell? Oh. Let's, I would say,

It's like the hostess at Applebee's up the road? Pretty much, yeah. There are, I, how do I put this politely? Why? Yeah, you're right. Let's just spit it out there. There are very few attractive people on Tinder. And I think.

Never been on the app? I don't even know how that fucking thing works. So here's, I've never actually met up with anybody on Tinder. I've always done it as a like, let's just see who I match with. Like, oh, me and this attractive girl matched. Okay, great. I don't, you know, she finds me attractive. Cool. Do you enjoy wasting your time? Like, what's the exercise here? Oh, no, it's a huge time sink, you know. Okay. I don't have it right now and I don't really want to get it again. Where does one go to find a partner in the valley? Like Murdox?

Western Building Center Murdox for those listening is like a Cowboys store I guess That's where I got my boots actually yesterday Yeah you look you look real good They're super No I don't know I've kind of

This sounds corny because I'm only 23 I've kind of given up right now I'm just not even What? Yeah I don't know It's just the effort is not worth it at the moment.

That's sad. Yeah, well, I've had, I mean, you know a little bit, but I've had just poor experiences. And I keep telling myself, well, you're only 23. So it's like, eventually there's bound to be somebody that will be a good person. Have you considered you just don't have anything to offer someone? Yeah, no, I've considered that. And I think that's what it is. I'm just such a terrible human being.

I'm not a betting man, but I'm not a betting man. but I'd put some money on that. But yeah, I mean... You know what's wild is I was married by the time I was your age. I got married when I was 23 years old. And if I could go back in time, I would sit down and talk with myself and just try to convince myself to slow down.

It waited until I was older. And I know that there are marriages that have lasted when people get married at that age, but I don't fucking recognize myself when I was 33, let alone 23. I was a retard. Yeah. Well, and that's what kind of some of the thoughts that go through my head, too, is like...

That you're a retard? Well, I don't do retards know that they're retards? Fuck. I've thought about that a lot. Like, now I'm going to, too. Like, so I... Let's, I love autistic people. Okay, there's some...

You love autistic people? I, yes. Like their anti-social personality traits? No, I've met. So my brother, actually, when he was in grade school, had a really good friend who was, I would say medium autism. He had the tism like medium. Okay, but you understand there's a difference between autism and being a retard. Okay.

Are you not aware of this? Well, I thought retard covered all mental spectrums. Where did you get that idea? The internet. Your search browser history is probably fucking terrifying. No, mental retardation, I believe, is something specific. Okay. Right?

Like Down syndrome, from my understanding, I'm going to go out here on a limb and just let people know right up front. I'm not a medical expert on any of these things. Nor am I. Completely out of my ass here. I believe that they are categorized out. Like, who was telling me, or what did I read about? Autism. For, who's a guy who started Microsoft?

Bill Gates. Bill Gates. From my understanding, he has autism, but is a highly, highly functioning autism. And a lot of people who are successful from my understanding in some of those tech industries are like that. It gives them ability to just crush out certain aspects. But from a social perspective, I guess it could be described as being a little bit awkward. Have you heard, I heard a really interesting theory that autism is. Don't say Florida in the water. Like Alex Jones That autism is like Could be seen as an evolutionary advantage Because Not at a cocktail party

Not at a cocktail party However In today's society The evolutionary pressures are Completely different From even 100 years ago What are you talking about? Like

You don't have to be like a typical survival person to survive. Yeah, you didn't have to be like that 100 years ago either. Okay, well, let's say 300 years ago, 400 years ago. Okay, now we're talking. Okay. So, to reproduce, you do not have to have your typical, like, manliness, let's call it, you know. You're into some weird shit.

I don't know where this conversation's going. Reproduction requires the same two components, a man and a woman. Right, right, right. But what I'm saying is, you don't have to survive. You don't have to go out and forward a river and then chop down a forest and build a house to entice. Yeah. Or will a woman to come into your. Or now you'll survive a lot longer without the same strength, intelligence, because we have safety, which I'm not saying, there's nothing wrong with safety nets.

But that allows for more people to reproduce. So what you're saying is the soft-ass bitches are out there reproducing at the same level that other than soft-ass bitches would have 400 years ago. I could see that. Have you seen... How does autism help in that? So now, so like the Bill Gates and... Have you ever seen a video of him dancing at one of their product releases? Fuck me.

First off, I don't dance, but if I did, I would dance better than that. Yes. Indeed. Have you ever seen any videos of the blind long jump? I'm not so sure necessarily had those two tie together, but one reminded me of the other. They run and jump into the sand, except for when they miss. Because of.

Here's a question. How do you see the sand, let alone the line that you're supposed to, like do they just get rid of fowls? Like wherever you jump, you jump. I would guess they practice counting their steps. Maybe. Hit the spacebar on the computer so it illuminates your face. I want people to see you so they can track you down on the street.

Yeah. Slap you around a little bit. How, what portion do you think of the Flathead Valley? What percentage do you think listens to this podcast? Zero point zero percent. That's kind of, I would say so. Yeah. There are, actually, I take that back.

There's some people. I get messages from time to time where people will come into the coffee shop. There are so many podcasts out there. I don't, if you follow. five people who have a consistent podcast, there is not enough time in your week more than likely unless you sit down full time and listen to a podcast to actually stay on top of it.

Some do, but it's a small percentage. Yeah. So I don't think I'm in danger of that, personally. That's true. And you never travel, so I think you're probably safe. Did I tell you I'm staying at Sean's this one here? Sean's. Coach Sean.

Oh, is he snowboarding? Mm-hmm. I'm going to save it some money. Okay. Okay. Where are you going to travel to? Probably Norway. Why Norway? To start out.

First off, have you ever left, you've never left the U.S. We've covered this before. You've only left Montana one time. That is not true. It's under five. It's not, actually. Bullshit. I am not bullshitting you.

I can't recount to you the specific times, but I can guarantee you it's over five. Yeah, you were like an infant and a fucking baby carrier being traveled around. I'm probably trafficked, but that's a different podcast for a different time. Yeah, we'll talk about that later. We'll get Nick in here and talk about that. So Norway, all right, I actually haven't been there. I've heard great things. Where else?

I do like Japan, but... Are you going to go to Norway and just continue on your travels? Are you going to do short stints back and forth? I think I would do short stints, like week, week and a half. It's going to be added travel cost with that. Once you get to Europe, inner European travel is actually very... That's true. Cheap.

I would, if you're going to go to Norway, man, I would hit greater Europe. I would go to the UK, I would go to Ireland, I would go to Scotland, I would go down to Italy, France, Switzerland, hit all that shit. Plus, a lot of them have... And then go up towards Norway last. Maybe. It doesn't matter where you were out to start. Once you hit Europe proper, the rail system there too is unbelievable. So good.

Yeah. Also, something interesting. I found out that Shelton, my last name, is a little village in... Norwich, England, UK, and had its own manner, had its own church. And those were actually my ancestors. So pretty cool. I'd like to go visit that. Are you sure they were your ancestors?

I feel like this is probably a coincidence. No. So we have my grandma who married Mike Shelton. His cousins gave her a bunch of genealogy records. And you can trace from my grandpa. back all the way to 1,100 in Shelton, Norwich, UK. That would be pretty dope. You should go do that.

So thinking about doing that. I think it's owned privately now, though, so I don't know if I'd be able to visit it. I would have figured your family tree was a little bit more vertical than spread out, if you know what I'm saying. You know, just this initial thought that comes to my head. Yeah, no. I'll let you figure that one on your own.

It's definitely possible. I mean, if we go back far enough, we're all related. I don't know. I'm that expert in it. So they say. Yeah. All right. What else you got, Michael?

What are your questions? Okay. So I heard, now, keep in mind, this is in grade school that I heard this. And I was a gullible person in grade school. So far, nothing has changed. Tell me more. I have fooled you at least 100 times saying obviously untrue things, but I guess with a straight face and you buy it. You haven't.

I have. Give me an example. Yesterday I told you your jitsu was good. And you said thank you. And I was lying. Damn it. Remember when I said, hey, your escape's really good? Yeah.

Yeah, you didn't get out a single time. That's true. You didn't put two and two together on that, did you? That's true. I recovered guard like a couple times. Okay. Do you feel that we're being too hard on the white belts that come train at the AK space? Somebody that you and I both know that I may or may not,

be married to thinks that we are. She actually brought you up specifically. She said Michael can survive. He's doing fine. But the other people I look over and they're just getting smashed. And what I said to her was for some of those people, if you don't dominate that position, they will freak the fuck out and hurt you. I think there's a less chance of somebody hurting you or Denver when they freak out, first of all, because you guys are big. That and I keep my head away at this point. I have been kneaded in the face. And every time that this has happened, it's me putting my face in a stupid spot, which is near their knee. And it almost always happens on the pass, kind of when you're on your side and you popped right in the face. Or you're passing

with your head lower and they bring a knee in to try to recover guard. So I just keep my head out of the way. I don't think it is size-wide. Well, at a certain point, because the levers are so long. But I'm not that much taller than you or the other people that we roll with. I just keep my head out of the way. And when did we start, I was still a wipeout when we started rolling, right? I think so. Yeah, because I was a member of the gym just a little bit before you were. And as far as I can remember, I never got hurt when we were rolling or I never. With you and I? Yeah, I'm not going to hurt you. I would, I would feel terrible hurting anybody. Exactly. Except for people that I want to hurt. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I do know what you're saying. Because some people fucking write that check

and I'm more than happy to cash it. Yeah. So I don't think it's horrible to give white belts, especially those that are extra prone to spazziness, give them a little bit more presh. Retards, if you will. No, I didn't say that. Close, full circle.

Come full circle. Yeah. I'm not saying they have short necks. I'm just saying they're acting like retards on that. Right, great. Yeah. Fair. Okay.

What was your question from grade school, that you've been somehow, sitting on and ruminating on since then. Yeah, well, it just came up, or I just thought of it recently. But I heard from this girl that her dad went to, was in some sort of military training. I don't remember which branch. She said that when you do grenade training, you pull the pin, let the spoon out, and hold it for five seconds and then throw it. You could do that one time.

you're going to be missing probably everything from your shoulder down and your head's going to be fucking gone too. The average grenade fuse is going to be somewhere between three to five seconds. Okay. I have gone through, I can only speak to the grenade training that I have gone through, which was internally applied. But it is a one-to-one ratio, meaning you have one person who's going to throw a grenade and one person observing. And you do it in an area where, like I've seen videos of, Army grenade training. There's a berm, like wall area trench that you are in.

And then there's another trench that's dug in against that wall so you can sweep the grenade into it. Oh. And it is orchestrated to say the least. You put the spoon of the... God, I wish I had a grenade here. It'd be so awesome. Not that I would throw it. Spoon of the grenade goes into the web of the hand to make sure that it doesn't fly off.

Because that's when the old egg timer starts. Yeah. You roll the pin out, yell grenade. I think the army makes you go like this and like Heismet it. Yeah. You throw it and then you get your ass on the ground. Yeah. So yeah, a lot of people have creative, I don't, and I don't understand why people have to add to some of the stuff that they do. Throwing grenades is cool enough. This, let's just cook it for a little bit. What if you were going to cook it for five seconds and you get one that's on the three side of that spectrum? Yeah. That would suck balls. Yeah. So yeah, no, that's what's called a lie. Yeah. Did you, how, do you, do you, did you, did you, did you, did you, did you, did you, did you, did you. you guys ever use grenades or how often did you use grenades infrequently um grenades are far less effective than people would like to believe based off movies first off there's no massive fireball

there's no fireball of any kind if you throw it into a room or out in an open field it's like a big dust plume comes up in the effectiveness of a grenade um i don't have anything i can show as a good example you know how they're uh circular in nature though the kill radius of a grenade is calculated off if it's sitting upright, meaning the portion, the top where you pull the pit. So if it's laying on its side, half of the blast is going into the ground. Furniture impacts it. I have thrown grenades into rooms thinking there was going to be nothing but carnage, and everybody in there was just fine. Interesting. Which is unacceptable. So there's fragmentation grenades, and then there's thermobaric grenades, which are awesome. And they basically are an overpressure

device that will absolutely flatten structures and turn people into jello. In an enclosed area. Not that they're safe on an open area, but you can throw them down tunnels. You can throw them inside of structures. You better get your ass out of that structure if you're going to throw a T-bomb in there, though. But infrequently, they're not a precise, it's not a precise tool at all.

But if somebody's shooting at you from a building and you throw a few in the window, that ain't bad. Cool. Yeah. I would not trust you to throw a grenade. Yeah, I wouldn't either. Yeah. Tell me about it.

I can imagine you're like pulling the pin, dropping it and counting to five and just, okay, this is how we party know. Yeah. Yeah, that's a possibility for sure. Yeah, for people who want to go on YouTube and watch grenade training exercises gone wrong, go ahead. There's plenty out there. Plenty. There's a reason why it's a one-to-one because the other person is there to save your life when you fuck up. Yeah.

What are the questions you have, Michael? We don't have to have a lot, even though I told you that today it was going to be about you finally getting to participate and ask questions about Full Auto Friday. You've been at this for two plus years. We've been doing this. Yeah, I think it's three. What's been in your favorite episode? The favorite to Sedan on was probably JT's. That was really fun.

Because he's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The virtual Blue Angels. Yeah. Fuck me. I laugh more in that episode than I think any other one.

Okay. one that stands out to me, both because it was the first one that I was here live and because of the story was Nick Lavery. Yes. He's going to come out and do a book signing at the coffee shop in December. Is it going to be on?

Or who knows. We'd be crazy not to. Yeah. His accent is rich and deep and steeped in history. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Yeah, that was probably those two. stand out to me.

A lot of them, they blend together a lot for me. Yeah, and you don't pay attention. I see over there surfing the internet. What are you usually looking at when we're talking? Usually, it's stuff related to the conversation. Like, if you'll say something minor, and I'll just be like, oh, interesting,

I'll look it up. And in the instance where you're like, hey, keep bringing that up, I already have it there. Yeah. So it's just easy. And then sometimes you're just over there probably playing virtual chess. I'm actually

at India virtual blue angels and that's what I'm doing Instagram has targeted me with videos of people sitting those full motion simulators they look pretty cool honestly yeah if I had an extra 10G layout I would consider it

even though I don't think that includes the TV or the actual software itself I think that's just the framework didn't she used to work on airplanes oh I did yeah not anything major just avionics Thank God. I would not trust an airplane that you weren't.

I wouldn't either, actually. Just so you know, though, avionics is a massive, a major portion of aircraft. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. And there was a time, I mean, there were tons of times I made mistakes. How did you get into that? So I went to community college for electronics for two years. And then right out of it, I went into that company. Super great people, a good company. Just wasn't a lot of electronics to be done. It was more screwdriver turning. Fuck that. Yeah.

Unless that was your gym. No, it was not. Then you upgraded to UPS. UPS, yeah. And that, I actually really liked loading packages because it was three hours in the morning. You get full benefits. Pay wasn't horrible.

They actually just got a raise. What time did you start? 4.30. Yeah, fuck that. So that was the downside. But then when I moved with a supervisor and, dude, you want to talk about babysitting Yeah, I know. My oldest son worked there for a bit when he was still kind of working his way through the phase he was in, which he has made it ridiculous turnaround, unrecognizable. When he told me, he like smashed his computer. With an axe.

Fuck. Yeah, dude. Congratulations. That is awesome. It's about six months ago. He literally is unrecognizable in so many ways. It's been awesome. Yeah, and he's gained like 20 pounds or something. Oh yeah. He weighs more than you for sure. No, he doesn't. I mean, he'd probably be able to beat his ass. actually I don't know he might be a game time player he might go code black he's red code black yeah he just

he just shut off the central nervous system he has what I feel like is more aggression than you on a scale of 1 to 10 10 being a lot of aggression you're like solid

1.25 it's okay that's okay that's like my rolling just chill rolling pace you know is it

yeah it is okay yeah No, I've actually, I've never been in the actual fight. There's nothing wrong with that. Yeah, I like, I don't really want to because the repercussions, there's so many things that could happen that you can't control. And it's like, if, if I happen to beat somebody and I hurt them somehow, well, now I have a lawsuit, even though in this, it would be a defensive situation. You still have to work your way through it, though.

Through what? The lawsuit. Yeah. Yeah. Just because you were acting in self-defense doesn't mean they can't sue your ass. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. You can win a fight and end up losing.

You can win if I break your hand and end up in the hospital right next to some asshole, you just kick the shit out of it. Yeah. It's not worth it. No. And what if they have a knife? What if they have a gun? Where's your gun? Exactly.

I actually, I don't conceal carry yet. I should. Do you know how to fire a gun? I do. Who taught you? My dad. Wheel gun? Yeah.

It's that rotary one where you turn the crank. That would be a Gatling gun. That's not, you, God, damn it. What the hell's a wheel gun? 357 Magnum, dirty hairy, six cylinder. That's the one where they, to reload, they cock the lever. That is a particular way that they shoot those. It's a cylindrical, it's a six.

Oh, okay. Yeah. It has a cylinder. Yeah. Yeah, you're not ready to carry a gun at all. Mr. with a crank. Oh, my God. That's like,

The Old West version of the fucking Gatling gun. I tow that behind my truck, my car. Behind your Prius. What a sight that would be. Black Rifle made a Prius that had a mini gun attached to it. I think I saw that actually. Yeah. They have a little bit more budget, I think, to play with than you and I do, though.

That may be a little bit. Yeah. A little bit more. What should people know about the podcast that you don't think they know? What should people know? It's, uh, I guess I would say the whole process is more simple than you might expect. It couldn't be simpler.

Yeah. I actually don't know what steps that we would remove if we wanted to remove a step. Yeah. Because especially explaining we were talking about this earlier, explaining to older relatives where the podcast is. Oh, fuck. Like alone how to listen to one? Yes. I go, well, it's a radio show that you can listen to any time.

And they kind of get it, you know. but I think it for them thinking about it it's like me thinking about I don't know some like quantum mechanics like I don't know and I'm not saying that I'm like a genius but I just have no clue where to even start and so I feel like that's kind of the older generation I tell people that I work at a coffee shop yeah it's the easiest answer that shuts down any follow-on questions which is actually the goal of that answer yes I tell people Oh, I do merchandising. Yes. Because who should people bitch to if they don't get their stuff on time? Let's talk about that. Me. Oftentimes you take three or four days before fulfilling orders.

What do you have to say to the people about that? It's not worth it to go in and fulfill five orders every day unless you want me to. Which I can. What if they paid for expedited shipping? Then once it gets shipped, they'll get it in like a day. Okay. So you don't care. Is what we're getting out.

No, I care. You don't care enough. Okay. Well, I'll go in every day then and do it. No, I don't give a shit what you do. I just think people should reach out to you directly if things are not getting their own time. Yeah, do it. Yeah.

How can people reach you, Michael? I'm struggling with whether I should actually... Here's what you go. I'll say, make a new email. No. And then... Just use your personal one, which I actually don't even know what the fuck it is. No, you don't.

No. We've never emailed. Why would I email email me? I have your funnelberg. It's like snail mail. It's like carrier pigeon. Sure. Yeah.

In comparison to sending you a letter with postage stamp on it, it would be. What's your Instagram handle? Michael. Dot Shelton 7. Yeah, that's a good way, actually. DM me on Instagram. With cock shots. I got a few of those, actually.

You're welcome. From that one episode forever ago. You're welcome. And I'm sure you probably have them saved on your phone roll at some point in time. Yeah. Probably your hidden folder. It's got to take the facial recognition to actually. You got to put it in the past.

What else? It's your one time to get to ask questions. We're never doing this again. Never again. I don't know. Yeah. Well, we'll see what the reception is on this. How about?

How long have we been going? I don't know. What time did I get here? Like 2.10? So we're going 38 minutes. Dipshit. It says it right on the road. 33 minutes

I was pretty close Are you sure you know how to use that fucking station That you're sitting at over there Honestly not really There's a lot of buttons over here I know but you pushed about three of them To make one of these episodes happen Yeah this one says applause

I'm gonna push it hit it It doesn't play anything You know why? Because you don't have it set up properly And I'm not gonna try to talk you through it No I think it There's a volume control associated with that That is not in the right position

Oh it is Is this one? Nope. This one. Hit it. Don't go. Whoa. Slide that like, there you go.

That's crickets. That's what I think about what goes into your head. When I ask you a question is that first button. Wow, that was a really hardy round of applause. What do the other buttons do? This one does. That's your post-jitsu match soundtrack. Oh, that's hilarious.

I'm going to start implementing these in the. All right, that's your average joke Like magical Harpsichord Harpsichord perhaps Oh, record scratch Okay, yeah Fuck yeah

Good Why do they have those on there? I don't know but I really like them All right Got one more question Then we'll follow today All right, let's see Let me think here

If I was I mean you have sat through Hundreds of hours of conversations At this point It might actually be like a thousand but it's getting up there yeah yeah both before live yeah because if we count before live especially like yeah i was listening to every single once i still do i guess um what are the questions do i have i don't too much about you i don't even care i don't either um oh maybe that's the biggest

secret just not giving a fuck uh when i don't know if i want to ask this far well now you know you have to it's gonna be a good yeah When are you going to get your black belt, do you think? And who? Who? We'll give it to you. Oh, it would have to be Travis. Okay.

I don't know, but I don't want that thing for a really long time. Really? I don't, it, I feel like my technical knowledge. So we're at the origin camp, and we're hanging around people, Laboreo as an example. He gets his choral belt next year. He invited us to fucking Brazil, which we're going to try to go to get his choral belt from De La Jiva, a guard I'm sure you've heard of before. He is a student of De La Jolla Jolla. And actually there was De Deco and Alexei at Origen Camp, also students of Delejava. I think De Deco is not that far off from his coral belt. Alexei, they all, like, you know the red bar on the belts?

There's no more fucking space. Yeah. their technical knowledge understanding and depth of knowledge of jiu jitsu is fascinating to me i do not want to ever in this i'm not right wrong or indifferent this is the way that i personally feel about it i don't feel like i ever should have a belt that's the same color as theirs it's a really hard fucking measuring stick yeah even lea as an example right so my wife is a two-stripe black belt so that I mean, she's been a black belt for a minimum of six years. I think she got her second stripe a year ago.

So she's two years away from getting her third. She's been out of for years, 14 years, I believe. Her, she teaches all the time. She competes. I don't, I don't feel like, I feel like I am a galactic distance from that goalpost. That amount of knowledge. Yeah. Yeah.

So hopefully not for a couple years. that's fair I feel like practically though you're I know it's not supposed to be like about who you can beat stuff but practically you feel very strong

have you considered that you might suck and that's why you feel that yeah no that's a good yeah you know that could be most likely is most likely yeah yeah okay

yeah it's probably a lack of skill and proficiency on your part. Yeah. That makes you feel that way would be my guess. Probably. I guess I just need to

fight things harder, spazz out more. Yeah. I don't know if you could do either of those things more, but... Just try and win every tiny engagement as hard as I can. I support that.

For longevity, too, and injury. Yeah, no, I think, you know... Yeah. Now, the belts are weird. It's such a weird For one, I think people care about it more than I do. Yeah, for sure.

I enjoy jiu-jitsu and I just want to continue to get better. That's my goal. And having say, the true answer is I have absolutely no idea when it's going to happen. I really don't give a shit. It's not going to change anything about the approach that I have to it. I just, I don't know. It's tough being around people that are that. knowledgeable and that skilled, it's a tough one for me.

Personally, I don't feel like I'm anywhere close. Yeah. Yeah, kind of same thing. Like, I was super excited to get my purple belt, you know. Yeah. But I was also like, it's literally just a marker. Like, it has no bearing. Correct.

I think that's the healthiest, I think that's the healthiest way to approach it. It's funny that you listen to the conversations down in the changing room. The number of times I've heard people say, well, what do I need to do to get fill in blank belt versus the number of times I've heard people say, well, what should I do to just continuously get better? There's a huge volume of people who are asking what they need to do to get their next belt in a small group of people who are talking about what they should continuously get better. I think that's probably why a lot of people quit at Blue Belt. Yeah, probably, because it's like, well, you also realize, first off, hey, the belt around my waist has changed and I'm

still getting fucked up by everybody. Absolutely nothing has changed. Yeah, exactly. Well, and you're still going to, that person you had trouble with when you were both four-stripe white belt, but now you're a blue belt? Yeah, the blue belt powers aren't real. You're still going to have trouble with that guy. Guess what else isn't real? Purple belt powers? No. Brown belt powers?

Black belt powers? You don't come in the next day version 2.0. Exactly. Exactly. Like, we joke about it, obviously. Yeah. But it's like, literally, it's just a single mark on your timeline. Oh, today I got this belt.

but your progression is still a continual curve. Hopefully, unless you quit, like Nelson. Unless you quit. I haven't seen Nelson on the mats in a while. It's because he hasn't been on the mats in a while. He's out there just asking for somebody to hand him his ass in his fucking UPS outfit. It's amazing how much the sheriff outfits do look like the UPS outfits for clarity. I've never noticed, but I'm going to pay a little bit more attention now.

Well, you'll have to go find him because you're certainly not going to see him at the gym. No, no. What do you want to close it out with? Closing thoughts by Michelle Shelton. Honestly, this is like really good job and just appreciate it. Do you have anything better to close with than that? It's powerfully gay. I know.

Okay. I am powerfully gay. On that note, until next time.