Cleared Hot - Powered By BRCC - Phonies, Pain, and Finding Emotional Strength

Episode Date: December 6, 2024

Back to traditional Q and A for this week: The first question touches on confronting fraudulent SEALs, where a listener recounts a tense encounter with a man claiming to be a Vietnam-era SEAL, in of all places, Olive Garden. Advice on how to deal with phony military experiences claims. The second listener shares a deeply personal journey of confronting the emotional toll of caring for an elderly parent, discussing the challenges of developing emotional resilience and learning to sit with pain when there's no solution. Lastly, we hear from a listener who's grappling with the pressures of aging, the difficulty of dating in his 30s, and the longing for a family.

What's going on, everybody? Man, we're running out of Fridays for 2024. There's some cool shit coming for 2025. I will talk about that. I'll probably do another year in review, maybe the last Friday or so of the year. Cool stuff coming. There'll be not a change to the format of the podcast.

I'll get into it later on. Everything on the positive side of the house. Before I get into today's episode, let's talk a little bit about Spartan Forge. They are the organization, the app, the company, the people that are bringing this episode to you this Friday. I have, since I'm a tech guy, as everybody knows, I've shown you the screen grab on my phone and how you can use the app.

I'm going to dive into the desktop software today because it gives you access to a really cool tool called Cyber Scout. This is literally an AI that can help you. And this doesn't be very clear. finding a mentor in the hunting world, I think is essentially important. That is the avenue that I would suggest for most people. Maybe that person isn't always available. Maybe you need another resource.

Maybe you have a quick question. Imagine having a program or an app that you can ask the question to. It has an AI. It's going to spit you out an answer. So it's on the desktop software only, and we'll talk a little bit more about what the desktop offers. But I threw into Cyber Scout. It's an option here on the left, the little circle.

What rifle caliber is good for elk? And holy cow, it spit out everything from energy delivery, the bullet caliber and cartridge, gave me a variety of options, the terrain and the hunting style, the ammunition availability, the personal recoil sensitivity, and an overview of caliber and rifle that I may not know or have the best answers or may not have access to my mentor for an upcoming hunt. In addition to that, it tells all of the other things that the app does, which can live in your pocket. You have administrative tasks here where you can look at county and city. There's a trails. There's an infrastructure tab that allows you to highlight roads, buildings, land, and water, public land, everything from BLM, Bureau of Land Management, Federal land, wilderness, state land, places to access, private land, agriculture. Holy cow, look at that. It changes the color in the map.

slope angle timber cuts. You can change your contours. You can change up top here. What it is you're using for imagery. These are three satellite options. You go straight to a topo image. And then of course, your LIDAR, which is giving you that terrain that I talked about. This is a ridiculously powerful and fantastic software.

This is what happens when you take people who targeted human beings for decades and brought in all of those different organizations, equipment, smash it together and apply it towards something in the civilian world, specifically in this case, the hunting world. This tool is spectacular. And like I've said many times, I use it more for non-hunting things than I do for hunting things. So Spartanforge.a.i, in addition to all the stuff that I just highlighted, again, this little circular button here on the left, Cyber Scout, go to town, ask a way.

It can be an additional, great resource for you prepping for. your upcoming hunts. Now, on that note, let's answer some Q&A. Hey, for those of you getting ready to enjoy this Friday episode, I'm an idiot and I had the wrong camera button selected. So enjoy the black screen for those of you who enjoy visual podcasts. There's not really going to be one today other than the black screen. So yeah, that's my bad.

Moving on. I'm looking at danger close now. All right, here we go. Three questions for today. I generally try to keep it at three because if I don't run my mouth too long, we can go 20 to 30 minutes. I'm going to try to keep a light. Try to keep a positive. Constantly remind myself that I just, I want to have a positive impact.

I'm doing the best that I can. I don't always have a positive impact every day. But I'm going for overall, in the grand totality, maybe leaving things slightly better than when I started when I can. into the world. I don't know. I think you know where I'm going with this. Question one takes us to the OG, the Olive Garden. Here we go. Andy, I was at All of Garden a couple nights ago for my mom's 67th birthday dinner. I had just gotten off an eight and a half hour workday of hard, laborious small farm work. When we walked in, there was an old guy sitting in the waiting area for a table who was wearing a UDT slash seal hat. Underwater Demolition Team is what UDT stands for.

seal sea air land, the Navy's special operations component. The seals actually started with the scouts and raiders long, long ago, which became the UDT, which became the SEAL teams. That's why it says UDT slash seal. That it's a little back to the origins of where the community comes from. He didn't look the part, and he was avoiding making eye contact with me. I had pursued the pipeline twice in my life, and I still exercise often and have a very physical, demanding, and laborious job. So I pretty much still looked apart. He definitely did not. I told him, I like your cover, shipmate, and he didn't understand what I was saying to him. So I translated into layman's terms.

I like your hat, sir, what class were you in? He told me, oh, that was so long ago, I can't remember. I escalated my eye contact and I said, you would have screamed that class number at the top of your lungs every day over eight months straight. That's not something you forget. He said, well, I was in Team One in Vietnam with all of those guys. He seemed very skittish at this point. My mom was now standing next to me, probably trying to make sure that I didn't get us kicked out of the OG, so shortly after we had walked in. And I told this limp dildo of a sad old man, very calmly, yet sternly while making very direct eye contact with him, with my wild PTSD bug eyes that have seen some very unpleasant shit.

If that hat is fraudulent, I suggest you take it off and never wear it again. He was noticeably shaken at this point, was trying to walk away, and his final one. word to me or words to me as he was tapping his chest were, well, I've got my pin. What he is meaning in that is the Trident pin that you are issued as a seal. They change your designator in the system and you become a 5326. That is the numerical designator for a seal, an enlisted seal inside of the seal community, or I should say inside of the Navy, even though both of those are accurate. And that's the pin that they're referencing.

If you want one, go to fucking town and get one. They're on Amazon. I think they're about five bucks. the pin itself is meaningless. What you do to earn the pin, that's where the meaning comes. So my question to you, rear admirable Andy, I like what you've done there. How have you responded when you have come across phony seals? Is it pure comedy to you?

I know some former seals who wouldn't even give a phony at the time of day unless they were in the mood for a quick laugh. I've come across a couple other phonies in the past, and my prerogative is always to put the fear of God and the teams into their souls. and I still always end up wishing that I would have pushed them harder than I had and that I would have at least tried to confiscate their phony memorabilia. With this particular phony, I wish I would have provided his wimpy 13-year-old wispy mustache with newly modified terrain to grow in.

As a side note, my dad is also 77 years old, yet I'm only 29, and your dad is a much healthier condition than my dad is. I keep him very close as the oldest male who had ever lived on his side of the family. with his older brother who passed at 74. He is in better shape than the other men and his family were, but it's still concerning nonetheless. My dad works very hard. I give him a lot of shit because he makes it really easy.

He lobs softballs at me all day long, and I am going to put him in a home as soon as I can. Jello and applesauce, here it comes, Dad. But he works really hard. He goes to the gym every day. He stays active. but he's been that active and I think we briefly talked about this

actually I know for a fact we did on the most recent episode he and I did together he's been active his whole life and there was this generational shift somewhere between his parents' generation and my dad's generation where just activity

and he thinks it was from Jack La Lane I believe was the name there was a change in course and trajectory where people took physical fitness and capability more seriously and that has helped him being that active He is creeping up on 80. He's certainly limited in some of the things that he can do.

The legitimate way that I think about that is that's where my opportunity steps in as his son to help him with those things that he's struggling with doing. I can see myself in him in that aging process. I'm many years ahead of you at this point. I'm 47 now. And it's rough for us for us all. But what reinforces the most to me

and seeing how capable my dad is in comparison to a lot of his peers is that I have to have that same focus on staying busy as well. So back to your email. Okay. Trying to think of the most polite way to say this. And so I'm just going to say it. And this is not meant with many level of negativity or judgment towards you. But there are there's something this email that I need to address. And that is that is that you do. not need to be the keeper for the SEAL community. And I say that because you were never a SEAL. I appreciate you wanting to protect the community, but it's not your job. It's awesome that you attended the pipeline twice, but it is in no way, shape, or form your responsibility or your

job to confront people that you think are full of shit or try to confiscate. any memorabilia from them in the name of the community that you were never actually a part of. I can appreciate it, but you didn't earn it either. So don't feel like you have to be the Superman flying around protecting the community. My own thoughts on issues like this. And I haven't encountered very few people who have actually, I don't know, what the fuck does this fall into? stolen valor being a liar, I don't know. It's my advice to you, the advice I give myself, my advice to anybody is be really cautious how far you push people. Because if you get people into

a corner, like you're saying and with the questions or telling somebody to take their hat off, or maybe even going farther than that in saying, as you did in the email that you were going to confiscate it. If you push people into a corner, their behaviors can potentially get a little bit wild. And what options does that leave you at that point? Is it really worth going hands on with somebody over a hat or a t-shirt? I have seen somebody in real life wearing a Trident pin in civilian clothes. I was with a group of people at that time. They handled that particular issue. They, as an active duty group of SEALs, did in fact leave that situation with one more Trident than they started with. But again, like I said, it is not your role or job to be the guardian of the SEAL community.

Push somebody to the point in public where they don't feel like they have any options. I mean, what is that worth to you? Is it worth dealing with the cops? Is it worth dealing with a potential lawsuit? I don't think it is. A few things. I like your cover Shipmate. I know what that means because I went to boot camp as well.

And Shipmate is what conventional Navy people, in my experience, and from what I have heard, and this is from a long time ago, call each other. But that is not a term that we use in the SEAL community. I'd never once heard a seal call another seal shipmate. Cover, of course, people know what that is. That's a hat. There's one right across the table. But it's a vernacular not used in the community.

So even if the guy was legit, he might have recognized what you were saying based off of the boot camp experience, but might not have responded to it the way that you wanted to. Your class number, screaming it at the top of your lungs. Yeah, you're always going to remember that. But just for your own edification, training is sick. months long, not eight months long. So even you yourself have some of the details incorrect in this. It's just not worth it. If I am presented, I'll give you an example, some of this happened in

real life. I had a guy one time, I was getting a delivery and we'll leave it at that. And I did not mention anything about being in the military. I don't walk around with military memorabilia on. I mean, do wear a black rifle coffee shirts. And some people associate that specifically with the veteran culture. Personal choice, that's not necessarily the way that I see it. For whatever reason, this person was very adamant about telling me about their military career. And it terminated and then telling me about their time at SEAL Team 3 in Vietnam. Now, the instant somebody says Vietnam and SEAL Team 3, I know they're full of shit because

SEAL Team 3 was commissioned in the 80s. Guess what wasn't going on in the 80s? Vietnam. on. We were alone at the front of my house, and I didn't confront the individual as we were leaving or as we were ending our engagement. The delivery was ending. I just simply said to him, I was like, listen, man, tell people whatever stories you want to in life, but I know that you're full of shit. And here's how I know that you're full of shit. Siltine 3 was commissioned in the 80s. And I just said to him, how do you think that I would know that?

Why would somebody, a random person, have that type of knowledge? And he said to me, well, probably because you served in that community. And I said, you're right. And you should probably be careful with the stories that you tell people. And that was it. And I walked away. He was mortified and embarrassed. I didn't call his boss, who I happened to know.

And I left it at that because I am not interested in any of the things that I mentioned to you. I don't want to touch anybody. I'm not going to push anybody into a fucking corner. I don't want to deal with the cops. I don't want to deal with the potential lawsuit. Even if I feel like I am in the right. Is there a time and place for everything? Probably.

There is more downside for you than there is upside. Somebody out there wearing that hat at Applebee's on Veterans Day trying to get a free meal. Yeah, it's tough to stomach. but it has absolutely no impact on your life, unless you force yourself into a bad situation. And then it's going to. That person at the end of the day knows that they're a liar. And they get to live with that. And I don't think that would be awesome for anyone to walk around all day knowing that you are iPhoney.

So let them enjoy rolling around in their pig pen. that would be my advice to you. I can definitely appreciate that you pursued the program. It's unfortunate that it didn't work out for you, which is statistically it doesn't work out for most people. But my biggest advice for you is let that go. All right. There's plenty of guys who did earn their bird or their trident who can do this stuff if they want to. And I still would give them the same advice about the potential consequences.

and I have given them that advice many times. But the community is going to be okay if you leave these people alone. It's just not worth it. And that's all I have on that. Question two. I'm a man who turns 37. From childhood, I've supported my mom as she slowly became blind. I'll be facing the same fate from some point onward,

although medical process may still arrive in time or progress, I should say. Sounds like it's something degenerative. And I hope it does arrive because that sounds horrible. In high school, I competed in cycling. I have so many questions about just that sentence alone because I don't know of a high school that had a cycling team. I'm curious where you grew up. Dad decided to leave. I've cut him out of my life.

In college, I focused going abroad to attain my engineering degree while working part-time. The past 10 years, I took responsibility in my career and obtained some financial stability. Mom is a cancer survivor. I learned with time to heal from a heartbreaking relationship and a health scare with chronic dietary complications. I'm still riding my bike and I'm learning both French and Italian after work hours. I'm six foot three bald and on a good day roughly handsome. Life lacks meaning, however, without a wife and offspring to care for. And this gets into the meat and potatoes of your question. Since its inception, I have been on dating apps where I clearly

describe my view on mutually healthy relationships, but having thought long and deep about what that means and asked advice from close female friends. Likes, however, before online, conversations and thereafter the chance to ask a woman on a date are exceedingly rare. If at all, I can't get more than five sentences in before getting ghosted and asking someone out with that bracket is rather difficult. When I get the chance, I tread lightly. I ask a woman playful questions about her profile in a way that tells me something about the essence of her person before asking her out and avoid the above delicate topics. But the many suitable women in their 30s seem all but set on avoiding all of life's responsibilities outside of their jobs,

nieces, and nephews. Seeing the world, this time in their life, the qualities of a suitable partner and a relationship very differently. Yet I am sure that I'm a good man, could be a good partner to a woman, an adequate father, this despite all the rhetoric against men. Time, however, is quickly running out on my hopes of finding family joy. It noticeably affected me the past few years, scared of how that may affect me more later on. What are your suggestions? Man, what an interesting, an interesting phrasing in an interesting way that you bullet pointed things out.

Let me say this. I have no experience whatsoever on dating apps. I have, I don't have that many reps in general when it comes to dating. I had one girlfriend in high school. I had a couple girlfriends in between high school and meeting my ex-wife. I was with my ex-wife for over 20 years. I had no girlfriends in between meeting my ex-wife and marrying Leah. I don't have a lot of reps.

I, like I said, have zero reps when it comes to online dating. But I have a fucking lot of stories, horror stories from other people. Michael being a good example. I mean, his stories, and this I think has perhaps to do with the geography of where we live. and that would be one thing I would be curious to know where you live as well. The shallower, the pool, the shallower, not the people, but the fewer opportunities, I guess, that you were going to have. My biggest piece of advice, I mean, you're 37 years old. I know people who have had children in their late 30s, their early 40s, their late 40s into their 50s.

There are, I think, pros and cons to both of those. I have talked with quite a few people who have had children later in life. The pro being they have so much more life experience and they feel, and this is, I'm paraphrasing a lot of people's words and smashing them together in one response. What they often say is they feel so much more equipped to be apparent because of their life experience. And they're in such a better place. And I've heard this from people who had children young and then later in life. They feel like they're in a better place because they have more life experience. Now, the con to that is, is they are, they're very aware that as their children get older,

their physical ability to do things with their kids or even be there for them at all may be limited. So that is not lost on them. So again, pros and cons, a pro to being younger when you have children. My ex-wife and I, we started having, all of our children were born. Let me see here, Julia is 60. Yeah, Julia was born when I was 31. So mid to late 20s, very early in the 30s. My oldest is 21, 19 and 16.

Literally leaving today to go on vacation with two of them for a week. And I am able to do anything I want to physically with them. The con, I didn't know who I was at that earlier of an age. When I was younger, I don't even recognize the fucking guy that I was. I did the best that I could in that moment. but there were things and there are things that I would change if I could go back in time. I would be a better parent now to my younger children if I had the experience that I have now and there was a time machine, which of course there isn't.

So pros and cons to both. I think the whole point in that is the only person imposing this timeline on yourself is you. And remember that. So you can put the rope down, right? You don't have to play tug-a-war with yourself. You can take a breath and put the rope down and realize it's going to be okay. My next piece of advice to you is get off of dating apps. And again, I don't know where you live.

And so I'm going to assume you live in a place that has a healthy population. I'll call it 50,000 people end up. It doesn't seem like you're having a lot of success on these dating apps. And I feel like the communication is probably difficult. If it's anything like texting or messaging back and forth, I mean, somebody being on a dating app, they're certainly looking for an interaction or engagement of some kind. maybe they're there to date. Maybe they just want to fuck your brains out and move on. I don't know. But they are at least looking for an interaction of some kind. But it seems like you are struggling with that level of communication or the type of communication or just connecting with people on that medium. Get off of it. And I'm not saying be a creeper in every woman that you meet in your daily life, you know, approach. But talk to the people where you live. I would just.

Give yourself at least a few months, a month at a minimum, a few months of getting off of the dating app and do your best in the real world. I think that you'd have a more authentic conversation or engagement in a conversation. You're able to read people better looking in their eyes and watching their body language when you are communicating with them. You're able to get a better assessment in real life if you think you might be compatible. If you're physically attractive, they're able to. able to do the same as well, right? So that knife obviously cuts both ways. It sounds like you got your shit squared away. Six-three and bald is, I mean, that could be a rough one. I don't think that's Shaquille O'Neal tall, but, I mean, that's like John Dudley tall, which is tall as shit.

But not like it's an insurmountable obstacle. I would just take it into the world of the reel. And also, don't rush. I know you feel like you have the guillotine slowly dropping down because of your age, but don't rush. If you could, if you could take that guillotine away or put a block in place so you don't feel like it's coming down anymore, I think it would take some pressure off you. And, you know, those person in-person interactions, I think would go a lot better. People aren't going to feel pressure. And I mean, if that doesn't work at that point in time, I'd say go back onto the dating app, but don't give up on the in-person. Don't give up on yourself. It sounds like you have a lot to offer. There's somebody out there for everybody. You just need to find the person who is looking

for what you have to offer. And I feel like the dating app, although it might be more convenient, I think it's a shallower experience. And I say this with zero experience on it. I feel like it is a shallower experience than in-person interaction. So at least consider that and give it a try. Question three. All right. Long time listening to the podcast. I'm grateful to your or four-year service to our country. And I also, and also because I think the podcast helps guys like me become stronger, better, and more compassionate,

more caring, and more self-aware. This has made me far from perfect, but a much better husband, a father and a friend, and a community member. You have set an example along the lines of the big Lebowski that strong men can also cry. Fuck, that movie is so good.

On the subject, or on that subject, I've spent much of my life focused on making myself a resilient human being. of dealing with whatever comes my way. I found CrossFit in 2008 and was competitive in my own way. I had been doing John Wellborn's Hammer Strength program since I heard him on your podcast. I highly recommend people check that program out. Not only is John awesome, but his program is awesome. It's a much better and safer and more effective training program, by the way.

I should have probably read that sentence first, and then I could have just agreed with you. In any case, my fitness for the last 12 years has been oriented towards enabling me to do bohunts in Montana and Idaho. take a lot of pride in being able to get up and down mountains and deal with the elements. And because I listen to all the right podcasts, I am a jiu-jitsu beginner. So the point is I feel I have built up massive physical strength and endurance and ability to tolerate difficulty. Not so much on the emotional side. And I wonder how you think about the correlation of the two and any advice. I'm currently visiting an elderly parent and seeing the physical decline is almost more than I can bear.

This goes right back to the first question and talking about parents and seeing yourself and them. It is a rough one. And people should prepare themselves for that. If you're younger in life and your parents are younger, you may not think about it. It accelerates in a nonlinear fashion as they get older. Prepare yourself. There's kind of not much to do about it, except sit with him and accept the pain of a decline that he's clearly distressed about in which distresses me in ways that I can't describe it.

It is just very painful and I am recognizing how little emotional bandwidth I have and intolerance to sit with this pain. In large part because of you, I've been seeing a therapist for the last eight weeks or so and has been very helpful to try to understand how little I have allowed my feelings to surface. I had been very effective at generally keeping them down and not sitting with them.

I would say that is the average default emotional state for men to include myself. I also still struggle deeply sometimes with dealing with my emotions. It's like, I have a better idea, let's put them in a barrel, jump on top of that barrel, stuff more than can fit in there,

somehow get a lid on it, bury it fucking eight feet deep and try to forget about it, which isn't how it works, by the way, but that's the technique I've tried. I'm a solutions-oriented person and I want to fix problems, but some of them cannot be fixed and some of this pain needs to be confronted more directly. I think. What do you think and do you have any thoughts about developing the emotional resilience to sit in difficult emotional situations where not much can be done?

Man, that's a fucking deep question. Here's what I'll say. Life is not supposed to be painless. physically and emotionally. There seems to be a goal from some, not from all, to arrive at a place of nirvana, I guess, where things are all physically amazing and emotionally you're just on cloud nine. And I don't think that's possible and I don't think that that's supposed to be the human experience. Just talking about CrossFit and John's workouts, they're really physically painful. And there is an immense opportunity to grow there physically and emotionally.

at least in my experience, physically from the perspective that most people don't like pushing themselves to that level of being uncomfortable. The fact you've been doing it as long as you have shows that you have taught yourself that that is possible. And to use emotional bandwidth, which I would say for you, you're not limited on your emotional bandwidth. It's just something that you haven't been focusing on for the 12 years that you have been on your physical fitness. So think about your first day in physical fitness and where you are 12 years now on the program you've been on. And where you think you could be, if maybe you put a little bit more

focused effort on the things that you have described and where you might be in 12 years, right? That's how things happen. That is how actual growth happens for most people. People want to be on this hockey stick trajectory. I want to put in one day of work and be an expert. And it doesn't work like that.

There are outlier, you know, black swan events of people that can have overnight success. But for most of us, it is a daily grind where you're working on something and in the day or in the moment, you may not even notice an appreciable difference between where you are and where you want to be. It's stacked and layered over time. And that's why I'll go back to, you know, you started CrossFit again in 2008, 12 years of that type of physical training. You probably don't even recognize the person you were in 2008.

You're eight weeks into doing a little bit more work on yourself from the neck up muscles as opposed to the neck down. And I think it's awesome that you went down that path. there is a connection in my mind between physical discomfort and learning from an emotional perspective to be comfortable sitting in that physical discomfort. You can connect the two. And I would point you towards people like Bill Anthes. I've had him on the podcast a couple times. He has a very intelligent and direct approach at connecting the two. So go back. I had his him and his wife were on last, but I've had Bill on solo. I'm pretty sure I've had Bill on solo. Yes, I have for sure. Go back and listen to those two episodes, and I would potentially reach out to him as well.

Because he has a very directed approach at doing exactly what you're talking about. Emotional resilience, just like physical resilience, is built by bending yourself before the world bends you, and then coming back slightly stronger, right? It's the textbook definition of resilience. It's an object being pushed and returning to its normal state. I personally feel like that's an incomplete definition because that maintains status quo and fuck that. How about we get a little bit better every day or every time that we push ourselves? So to me, resilience would be an object or an individual in this case pushed from their normal place and they come back stronger. By that, of course, I mean slightly stronger, not expecting the hockey stick or gigantic jump or leap forward.

forward. That's how it happens. That's how your muscles grow. That's how your mind. You teach yourself a thing about learning a new language. You're not going to go from no fluency or understanding of a language to fluency over time. It's a long journey. And just maybe what I would say is take that grander scheme. Take pressure off of yourself. You have time and find ways this last sentence, I think, says it all for you. What do you think? And do you have any thoughts about developing the emotional resilience to sit in difficult emotional situations where not that much can be done. First, it starts with recognizing those things. If you find yourself in that situation and it sucks and it's uncomfortable and you don't like it, A, recognize it and B, don't make an effort

to rush away from that situation. Spend some time in that mental cold plunge. And just like the first time you do a cold plunge for real, which I fucking hate them, you cannot stay in very long, you tell yourself you can't. In a really short amount of exposure, you can stay in for longer and longer and longer and longer. Same thing here. Find that situation, acknowledge that situation, and work on getting comfortable there. When you're doing your workouts, start trying to connect the psychological with the physiological. Embrace how your body is feeling. Get yourself into that place where you don't want to go anymore, where you're telling yourself you think it's too hard, where you can't do another one and live there for a little bit.

I haven't done CrossFit type workouts in a while. The mantra that I consistently reinforced to myself when I was doing those type of workouts, all I would tell myself, it was very simple. I would just say, you can always do one. You can always do one. And I would try to live there. And even with moments and people who have done these workouts

know how horrendous they can be, telling yourself that you can always do one, as opposed to telling yourself, I need to take a little bit of a break, is the difference between finding that difficult emotional situation and living in there for a little bit and avoiding it. One builds your resilience and capacity, in my opinion, the other one does not. So it's the best advice that I can give you, and that is all that I have for this Friday. See you guys Monday.